1
00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:02,000
Murr: Warning,
2
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,335
The following program contains
scenes of graphic stupidity
3
00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:06,471
Among lifelong friends who
compete to embarrass each other.
4
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:09,474
[ laughing ]
5
00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:11,410
[ screams ]
6
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,677
♪♪
7
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,012
Let's just get this started.
8
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,614
Sal: Are you [bleep]
kidding me?
9
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:16,681
Who's a good girl?
10
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:19,217
[ laughing ]
11
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,086
[ cymbals crash ]
12
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:23,355
♪♪
13
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,756
[ laughter ]
14
00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,425
With special guest,
15
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:29,161
"Saturday night live" alum
bobby moynihan.
16
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,496
I'm the friend who
needs to go see incubus.
17
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:35,167
[ laughter ]
18
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:36,635
Today, we're posing
as supervisors
19
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,036
At a telemarketing firm,
20
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,839
And we've hired someone
to make cold calls for charity.
21
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,507
We'll be "helping"
the new employee
22
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:44,576
By giving them
ridiculous sales tips
23
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,711
To keep the person
on the other line interested.
24
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,246
Of course, the tips
we give to the employee
25
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:50,715
Will actually be given to us
by the other guys
26
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,317
And the guy
who gets his employee
27
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:55,187
To follow
the most tips wins.
28
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:57,589
Oh, hi,
mrs. Quinn.
29
00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:00,725
♪♪
30
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,461
Q: [ chuckles ]
here we go.
31
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:04,062
Everybody is
dressed for work
32
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,199
Except tina's dressed like
she's going to the beach.
33
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:12,204
In fact, murr, tina's your only
real competition in this office.
34
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,406
She's an up-and-comer,
man.
35
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,541
[ laughter ]
36
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,810
A little office rivalry
right off the top.
37
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,945
Alright, murr,
here comes your telemarketer.
38
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:22,947
You're a supervisor today,
and you've got to get her
39
00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:24,282
To say whatever
we tell you.
40
00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:25,484
Hi.
41
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:26,551
Are you james?
I am.
42
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,020
And answering
the phones
43
00:01:28,022 --> 00:01:31,155
Will be our "impractical jokers"
writers room.
44
00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:33,025
Welcome to
our humble office.
45
00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:34,092
Tina, just turn around
and be like,
46
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,360
"can you guys
keep it down?"
47
00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,229
Just chat him up...
48
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:38,496
Can you
keep it down?
49
00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:40,232
Tina.
50
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,967
[ laughter ]
51
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,171
Try john valentine,
okay?
Okay.
52
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:48,040
I remember I spoke
to them last year.
53
00:01:48,042 --> 00:01:49,842
I spoke to that
family last year.
54
00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:51,443
And the way that
I got them to donate
55
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,912
Was I accused them
of hating children.
56
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:57,182
The way I got them to donate was
that I actually accused them
57
00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:58,983
Of hating children.
58
00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:00,585
And remember, linda.
59
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:01,586
And remember,
linda...
60
00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:03,855
It's not a lie
if you believe it.
61
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:07,392
It's not a lie
if you believe it.
62
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:10,062
Okay. Yeah.
63
00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:12,597
[ laughter ]
64
00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:14,466
She went from a smile
to a deadpan.
65
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,868
Let's see.
Let's see.
[ phone ringing ]
66
00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:17,869
John valentine:
Hello?
Hello.
67
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,605
Am I speaking to
mr. John valentine?
68
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:21,873
Speaking.
69
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:25,944
We'd love to have you consider
renewing your subscription.
70
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:27,211
How much would
that cost?
71
00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:29,281
Would be like, $35.39.
72
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,283
I don't think it was
that much at the time.
73
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:33,017
Sounds like you hate
children to me.
74
00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:37,222
It sounds like you hate
children to me, linda.
75
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:39,357
I'm just thinking,
if you don't hate children,
76
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:40,993
Maybe you want to
donate.
77
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:48,433
Q: Look at tina!
78
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:51,103
Murr, tell her to say,
"I'll match whatever you do."
79
00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:53,638
Tell him that you'll match
whatever he donates.
80
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,108
We'll match whatever
you choose to donate.
81
00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:58,376
Okay, that's good information
I can give to my wife.
82
00:02:58,378 --> 00:02:59,978
Tell him that he's being
a big baby about this.
83
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,114
Linda, he doesn't need
to talk to his wife.
84
00:03:02,116 --> 00:03:04,449
Tell him he's being a big baby.
He can make the decision.
85
00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:05,850
I can't say that.
Yes, you can say it,
linda.
86
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,251
You're the salesperson.
87
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:10,255
It's not a lie
if you believe it.
88
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:11,923
Well, I was
just thinking,
89
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,793
You could probably make
this decision by yourself.
90
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,261
Big baby. Big baby.
91
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:18,062
You don't really
need her approval.
92
00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:19,998
I know she did enjoy it,
but I feel like I do need it.
93
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,533
Tell him not to be a big baby.
94
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,468
Sal: Please say it, linda.
Please say it, linda.
95
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:24,603
He's just hectoring her.
96
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:28,140
To get back to my point,
you don't want to seem like
97
00:03:28,142 --> 00:03:29,941
You have to ask your wife
for everything
98
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,743
And be a baby
about it.
99
00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:38,817
Would you like to pledge now
and we can send you the email?
100
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,819
Slice his throat.
101
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:43,888
Linda: You want to stand up
to this thing and take a stand.
102
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:44,823
[ quietly ]
slice his throat.
103
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,758
You can just make
a decision now.
104
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:50,395
Listen, you piece of shit.
Are you in or not?
105
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:55,567
Say to him,
"listen, you piece of shit,
106
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,901
Are you going to donate or not?"
107
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,236
I can't say that.
Yes, you can.
108
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,771
I can't say that.
He's on the edge.
109
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,640
Go for it. Go for it.
110
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,442
Well, john,
you seem to be
111
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:08,246
Riding
on the fence right now.
112
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,715
I think you could probably
do a hundred, right?
113
00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:13,652
Why not? I'm a big
piece [bleep] anyway.
114
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,187
[ laughter ]
115
00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:16,921
I told you, linda!
116
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,456
I told you
it was going to work.
117
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,192
I know a piece of shit
when I hear it.
118
00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:21,994
That guy's
a piece of shit.
Okay.
119
00:04:21,996 --> 00:04:23,528
Okay, bye-bye.
120
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:24,729
Yes, linda!
Oh, man.
121
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,398
You're driving me nuts.
122
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,866
[ laughter ]
123
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,534
Boom! 100 bucks!
124
00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:30,668
[bleep] you, tina!
125
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,470
[ laughter ]
126
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:34,606
♪♪
127
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,308
Hey, how you doing?
I'm brian.
128
00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:39,544
Come on in.
Have a seat, my friend.
129
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,613
So we'll try
joe imburgio.
130
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,348
Before you hit
the last digit, say,
131
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:45,283
Joe imburgio,
I'm gonna get ya.
132
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,484
Q: When you
dial the number, right?
133
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:47,619
What we like to say
it's like,
134
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,555
"I'm coming for you,
joe imburgio!"
135
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:51,623
Yeah.
136
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,157
I want to hear it,
eduardo.
137
00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:54,426
Coming for you,
joe imburgio.
138
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:55,894
Yes!
139
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,962
Murr:
Alright, this one, q.
140
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:58,963
Hello?
141
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,432
Yes, hi.
My name is eduardo.
142
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,834
I'm with
tri-state quarterly magazine.
143
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,569
Sal: Joe, say, what the [bleep]
you talking about?
144
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:06,571
What the [bleep]
are you talking about?
145
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:07,906
What is this?
146
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,641
This is
tri-state quarterly.
147
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,576
Q, get him to say
that you're exhausted
148
00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:14,045
With dealing with these
small change chumps all day.
149
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,580
We're gonna get him. We're gonna
reel him in, me and you.
150
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:16,714
He's gonna
make a donation.
151
00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:17,982
We're going to save
those kids.
152
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,051
What kids?
153
00:05:19,053 --> 00:05:20,052
The kids.
154
00:05:20,054 --> 00:05:22,386
We like to shame him
a little bit,
155
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:23,855
So just say,
"I've been dealing with
156
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:26,057
Small change
chumps all day."
157
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,191
Watch what he does.
158
00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:28,460
Okay, mr. Imburgio?
159
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:29,661
Yeah. Hello?
160
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,129
Yeah, I'm sorry.
161
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:35,467
I've been dealing with
so many small change chumps.
162
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:37,535
I don't know how much
to give.
163
00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:38,870
Do you know what's
an appropriate amount?
164
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,205
$500.
$500 would be
sufficient.
165
00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:42,674
That's a little steep.
166
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,943
Murr: "we know
where you live."
167
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:47,079
Just say, "I would like
to remind you
168
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:48,880
That we know
where you live."
169
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,882
Light threat.
Go.
170
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,485
I would like to --
I would like to remind you, sir,
171
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,454
That we know
where you live.
172
00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,091
Is that a threat, sir?
173
00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:00,358
No.
Light threat.
174
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,962
It's just
a friendly reminder.
Light threat.
175
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:06,430
You got to tug
at the heart strings now.
176
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:07,832
Now we're gonna
tug at the heartstrings.
177
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,301
Do you have any pets?
178
00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:10,835
No, but, I mean,
I've had pets.
179
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,570
Remember when they died
and bring that feeling up.
180
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:15,039
So we're gonna say that your
pet just died at the office,
181
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,308
And that's why you sound
like you're crying.
182
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:18,510
That's it.
That's it! Okay.
183
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:23,315
I'm a little --
I'm a little sad, sir,
184
00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:26,184
Because my dog
just died.
185
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,119
I was wondering, sir,
it would ease my pain
186
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:31,923
If you can donate $600
instead of $500.
187
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:34,659
I could go up to like...
$700, maybe?
188
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,394
I still know
where you live.
189
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,663
I still know where you live,
and I want you to know
190
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:43,201
That I'm going to a psychiatrist
who's analyzing me,
191
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,803
Because I think
I'm a little sick in my mind.
192
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,806
Oh, my god!
193
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,073
Murr: Let's do $1,000.
Yes or no, bitch?
194
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,208
Thousand yes
or no, bitch. Let's do.
195
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,876
Let's do $1,000.
Let's do $1,000.
196
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:52,877
What do you say,
bitch?
197
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,078
What do you say,
bitch?
198
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,348
[ laughter ]
199
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:57,815
You know what I say?
200
00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,217
Yes.
201
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,618
A grand, yes.
202
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,554
Someone will get back to you,
bitch, and then hang up.
203
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:05,890
Somebody is gonna get back
to you, bitch.
204
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:07,091
[ laughter ]
205
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,292
[bleep], sal!
206
00:07:08,294 --> 00:07:10,695
The children are saved!
207
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:13,097
♪♪
208
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,499
How are you doing?
What's your name?
209
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:16,901
Jennifer.
Alright,
here's your new salesperson.
210
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:19,971
So there are some things that
we do that universally work.
Okay.
211
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,173
Laugh super hard
at anything they say.
212
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,909
Laugh as hard as you
can at anything they say.
213
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:25,843
Murr:
She's on board!
214
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:28,112
Johnna,
you laugh crazy.
215
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:28,980
Match her energy.
216
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,582
She starts laughing,
you laugh.
217
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:33,585
Hello?
It's jennifer calling
from tri-star quarterly.
218
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:34,652
How are you,
my dear?
219
00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:37,055
Oh, I'm surviving,
you know.
220
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,590
[ laughs ]
221
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,925
We're in the same boat,
my dear.
222
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:43,995
[ both laugh ]
223
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,531
[ laughter continues ]
224
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,800
Tell her to say,
"shut up and listen to me.
225
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,468
There's not
a lot of time left."
226
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,070
It's time to go
from soft to firm.
227
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,539
As soon as you click this, just
say, "shut up and listen to me.
228
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:55,607
There's not
a lot of time."
229
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,075
Oh, my god.
I can't.
You can!
230
00:07:57,077 --> 00:08:01,179
♪♪
231
00:08:04,121 --> 00:08:05,654
It's time to go
from soft to firm.
232
00:08:05,656 --> 00:08:06,655
As soon as
you click this,
233
00:08:06,657 --> 00:08:08,190
Just say,
"shut up and listen to me.
234
00:08:08,192 --> 00:08:08,991
There's not
a lot of time."
235
00:08:08,993 --> 00:08:10,993
Oh, my god. I can't.
Oh, you can.
236
00:08:10,995 --> 00:08:13,596
[ laughter ]
237
00:08:13,598 --> 00:08:14,997
[ laughter continuing ]
238
00:08:14,999 --> 00:08:18,734
So shut up and listen to me.
I don't have a lot of time.
239
00:08:18,736 --> 00:08:20,069
[ jennifer laughing ]
240
00:08:20,071 --> 00:08:22,271
Yeah, I just don't know if
I want to pledge or not.
241
00:08:22,273 --> 00:08:23,739
Tell her, "I don't have
a lot of time left
242
00:08:23,741 --> 00:08:24,940
On this earth."
243
00:08:24,942 --> 00:08:27,610
Just say, "I don't have a lot
of time left on this earth."
244
00:08:27,612 --> 00:08:31,414
Um, I don't have a lot of time
left on this earth.
245
00:08:31,416 --> 00:08:34,283
So what were
you thinking?
246
00:08:34,285 --> 00:08:35,884
No, sorry, I didn't --
I didn't know that.
247
00:08:35,886 --> 00:08:40,155
So you tell me
what I should donate.
248
00:08:40,157 --> 00:08:42,157
Okay, how's $24,000?
249
00:08:42,159 --> 00:08:43,492
[ laughter ]
250
00:08:43,494 --> 00:08:44,760
Murr: $24,000?
251
00:08:44,762 --> 00:08:46,295
Can I ask you a question?
252
00:08:46,297 --> 00:08:47,430
Sure.
253
00:08:47,432 --> 00:08:52,101
I guess, why is
time running out for you?
254
00:08:52,103 --> 00:08:54,437
Well, it's a condition
that I have.
255
00:08:54,439 --> 00:08:55,370
Murr:
I got bit by a tick.
256
00:08:55,372 --> 00:08:56,572
Bit by a tick.
257
00:08:56,574 --> 00:08:57,840
Johnna,
start laughing.
258
00:08:57,842 --> 00:09:00,643
It's an autoimmune --
I got bit by a tick.
259
00:09:00,645 --> 00:09:03,245
[ laughing ]
laugh, laugh.
260
00:09:03,247 --> 00:09:04,780
[ both laughing ]
261
00:09:07,251 --> 00:09:09,184
It's lyme disease.
It's lyme disease.
262
00:09:09,186 --> 00:09:10,253
Lyme disease!
Yeah.
263
00:09:10,255 --> 00:09:11,920
With
rheumatoid arthritis.
264
00:09:11,922 --> 00:09:13,522
Q: Oh,
she's going rogue!
265
00:09:13,524 --> 00:09:14,857
Yeah.
Okay, 10 grand.
266
00:09:14,859 --> 00:09:16,058
You will? Oh, my god!
267
00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:18,193
Murr: Sal, you're not
happy with 10 grand!
268
00:09:18,195 --> 00:09:19,328
Okay, hold on.
Okay.
269
00:09:19,330 --> 00:09:20,529
Okay, let's do it.
270
00:09:20,531 --> 00:09:21,931
Hear me now.
She'll go higher.
271
00:09:21,933 --> 00:09:22,999
Listen...
272
00:09:28,005 --> 00:09:30,873
Hear me now.
273
00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:32,274
If she does 10 grand,
she'll do more.
274
00:09:32,276 --> 00:09:33,275
Trust me right now.
275
00:09:33,277 --> 00:09:36,945
Don't be a pussy.
Donate 24.
276
00:09:36,947 --> 00:09:40,015
[ laughter ]
277
00:09:40,017 --> 00:09:41,684
Just don't be a pussy.
278
00:09:41,686 --> 00:09:44,953
Don't -- you know,
don't be a --
279
00:09:44,955 --> 00:09:46,755
P-u-s-s-y.
280
00:09:46,757 --> 00:09:49,424
[ laughter ]
281
00:09:49,426 --> 00:09:51,494
Oh, okay. I'll do 25 grand.
282
00:09:51,496 --> 00:09:54,830
Oh, my god.
I love you.
283
00:09:54,832 --> 00:09:57,366
I ain't no p-u-s-s-y.
284
00:09:57,368 --> 00:09:58,567
I know you're not.
285
00:09:58,569 --> 00:09:59,768
I know you're not!
286
00:09:59,770 --> 00:10:01,304
I know, I grew up with brothers.
Forget about it.
287
00:10:01,306 --> 00:10:02,304
My brothers
were pussies.
288
00:10:02,306 --> 00:10:04,573
And my brothers
were pussies.
289
00:10:04,575 --> 00:10:06,575
[ laughter ]
290
00:10:06,577 --> 00:10:07,576
Not us!
291
00:10:07,578 --> 00:10:09,912
Well done.
He got every one!
292
00:10:09,914 --> 00:10:11,113
We did it!
293
00:10:11,115 --> 00:10:13,916
[ both laugh ]
294
00:10:13,918 --> 00:10:17,252
♪♪
295
00:10:17,254 --> 00:10:18,721
Narrator:
Ring, ring. Who's calling?
296
00:10:18,723 --> 00:10:22,991
Murr's first up
on the loser board.
297
00:10:22,993 --> 00:10:24,793
Today we're at
the grocery store shopping
298
00:10:24,795 --> 00:10:26,328
With our misbehaving child.
299
00:10:26,330 --> 00:10:27,930
While our kid
is being a brat,
300
00:10:27,932 --> 00:10:29,398
We're gonna have
to get another shopper
301
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,733
To be the bad guy
302
00:10:30,735 --> 00:10:33,336
And follow our lead
in disciplining that child.
303
00:10:33,338 --> 00:10:35,337
If that shopper
doesn't agree with your threat,
304
00:10:35,339 --> 00:10:36,339
You lose.
305
00:10:36,341 --> 00:10:39,208
Hiiii-yaa!
306
00:10:39,210 --> 00:10:44,079
♪♪
307
00:10:44,081 --> 00:10:46,182
Alright, fellas.
Let's have a good challenge.
308
00:10:48,685 --> 00:10:50,352
Do you have
a pearl necklace on?
309
00:10:50,354 --> 00:10:52,354
This is harry styles.
This is style, man.
310
00:10:52,356 --> 00:10:55,224
You don't even know
who harry styles is.
311
00:10:55,226 --> 00:10:56,825
I do know who he is.
312
00:10:56,827 --> 00:10:58,627
Here's my kid,
if you guys will excuse me.
313
00:10:58,629 --> 00:11:00,896
Avery, what's up?
314
00:11:00,898 --> 00:11:02,164
Hi, I'm dad.
315
00:11:02,166 --> 00:11:04,433
Okay, get ready
to misbehave.
316
00:11:04,435 --> 00:11:06,101
Go, go.
317
00:11:06,103 --> 00:11:08,103
[ avery wailing ]
318
00:11:08,105 --> 00:11:09,838
Why??
319
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,707
Avery, please --
320
00:11:11,709 --> 00:11:13,442
I just want sweets!
321
00:11:13,444 --> 00:11:14,977
Please, please, quiet up.
Please quiet down.
322
00:11:14,979 --> 00:11:17,913
Do you want to
make my life miserable?
323
00:11:17,915 --> 00:11:19,315
Oh, my god!
324
00:11:20,985 --> 00:11:23,652
Right? Do me a favor.
Get my back here, okay?
325
00:11:23,654 --> 00:11:25,588
Avery, come here.
Come here right now.
326
00:11:25,590 --> 00:11:27,390
You come here right now
and talk to daddy.
327
00:11:27,392 --> 00:11:31,326
Listen, if you don't behave
in this store...
328
00:11:31,328 --> 00:11:35,264
This person will
turn you italian.
329
00:11:35,266 --> 00:11:39,602
This person
will turn you italian.
330
00:11:39,604 --> 00:11:41,069
Is that what you want?
331
00:11:41,071 --> 00:11:43,071
You want to be
italian your whole life?
332
00:11:43,073 --> 00:11:44,940
No. Right? No.
333
00:11:44,942 --> 00:11:46,141
I don't want to be
greasy!
334
00:11:46,143 --> 00:11:48,010
[ crying ] I don't want
to be greasy!
335
00:11:48,012 --> 00:11:51,680
[ laughing ]
336
00:11:51,682 --> 00:11:52,815
Tell her, sir,
what you're gonna do to her
337
00:11:52,817 --> 00:11:53,816
If she doesn't behave.
338
00:11:53,818 --> 00:11:55,951
I hate pasta!
Let him talk.
339
00:11:55,953 --> 00:11:56,819
What are you gonna
do to her?
340
00:11:59,356 --> 00:12:00,489
Right?
[ gasps ]
341
00:12:00,491 --> 00:12:02,424
Sal:
This guy's nefarious!
342
00:12:02,426 --> 00:12:05,027
You know what happens
to italians, right?
343
00:12:05,029 --> 00:12:07,562
Nothing good.
344
00:12:07,564 --> 00:12:10,032
The italians were originally on
the wrong side of the war.
345
00:12:10,034 --> 00:12:11,500
They were.
346
00:12:11,502 --> 00:12:13,568
Ciao.
347
00:12:13,570 --> 00:12:15,037
[ laughter ]
348
00:12:15,039 --> 00:12:16,772
Gosh.
349
00:12:16,774 --> 00:12:18,040
Italians, right?
350
00:12:18,042 --> 00:12:20,976
♪♪
351
00:12:20,978 --> 00:12:23,512
Alright, so what are you
gonna do for a tantrum.
352
00:12:23,514 --> 00:12:25,981
This time, I'm gonna have
a lot of energy.
353
00:12:25,983 --> 00:12:27,316
You didn't have
a lot of energy last time?
354
00:12:27,318 --> 00:12:29,518
No.
355
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:30,653
This guy.
That old guy there.
356
00:12:30,655 --> 00:12:31,987
Q: Avery,
start acting up.
357
00:12:31,989 --> 00:12:34,389
[ laughing hysterically ]
358
00:12:34,391 --> 00:12:36,591
Murr:
Control her, q!
359
00:12:36,593 --> 00:12:39,061
Avery, stop. Oh, my god.
Avery, calm down.
360
00:12:39,063 --> 00:12:40,996
What are you --
I don't even know what this is.
361
00:12:40,998 --> 00:12:42,331
Oh, my god. These kids.
362
00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:44,667
I don't even know
what to do with them anymore.
363
00:12:44,669 --> 00:12:46,335
Could you back me up
on this one second?
364
00:12:46,337 --> 00:12:48,603
Avery, c'mere, please.
Avery, please come here.
365
00:12:48,605 --> 00:12:49,604
What is your name, sir?
366
00:12:49,606 --> 00:12:50,805
Klaus.
Klaus?
367
00:12:50,807 --> 00:12:53,342
Klaus, this is avery.
Avery, this is klaus.
368
00:12:53,344 --> 00:12:54,477
Now, listen,
369
00:12:54,479 --> 00:12:57,480
If you keep misbehaving,
you see this man right here?
370
00:12:57,482 --> 00:12:59,815
He's a serial killer
of teddy bears.
371
00:12:59,817 --> 00:13:01,616
He -- [ laughs ]
372
00:13:01,618 --> 00:13:04,953
Klaus here is a serial killer
of teddy bears,
373
00:13:04,955 --> 00:13:06,288
And if you don't behave...
374
00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:09,491
He's gonna take teddy
and gut him like a fish
375
00:13:09,493 --> 00:13:12,094
And wear his face
like a mask.
376
00:13:12,096 --> 00:13:14,096
He's gonna take teddy --
[ laughing ]
377
00:13:14,098 --> 00:13:15,564
Avery: What's wrong?
378
00:13:15,566 --> 00:13:17,233
♪♪
379
00:13:19,908 --> 00:13:22,308
If you don't behave,
he's gonna take your teddy
380
00:13:22,310 --> 00:13:23,509
And gut him like a fish
381
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,377
And then wear his face
like a mask.
382
00:13:25,379 --> 00:13:28,514
Right? Tell her. Tell her.
383
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,715
Murr: Q, get him
to back you up.
384
00:13:29,717 --> 00:13:30,983
Klaus, tell you're going
to kill her teddy bear.
385
00:13:30,985 --> 00:13:32,252
Gut him like a fish.
386
00:13:36,057 --> 00:13:38,057
How many teddy bears
did you serial kill?
387
00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:40,260
Oh, I don't know. 100.
388
00:13:40,262 --> 00:13:43,930
Please don't kill
my teddy bear.
389
00:13:43,932 --> 00:13:46,599
Well, if you behave,
then we'll talk about it.
390
00:13:46,601 --> 00:13:49,001
So it's not even a guarantee
if she behaves?
391
00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:50,336
Go over there and be good.
392
00:13:50,338 --> 00:13:53,806
Klaus straight up looked
avery in the face and said,
393
00:13:53,808 --> 00:13:55,942
"I will dismember
your teddy bear."
394
00:13:55,944 --> 00:13:57,810
He's done it before.
He'll do it again.
395
00:13:57,812 --> 00:13:59,011
Guess he's not italian.
396
00:13:59,013 --> 00:14:01,881
Klaus.
He's german.
397
00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:02,882
Klaus is german.
398
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,684
On the wrong side
of the war.
Shh!
399
00:14:04,686 --> 00:14:05,818
[ laughing ]
400
00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:07,053
Sal: She said that
on her own!
401
00:14:07,689 --> 00:14:08,754
Daaaad.
402
00:14:08,756 --> 00:14:09,755
Yes, honey?
403
00:14:09,757 --> 00:14:10,823
Murr:
Okay, avery, misbehave.
404
00:14:10,825 --> 00:14:12,492
[ whining ]
I want to go home!
405
00:14:12,494 --> 00:14:13,625
Alright, honey.
406
00:14:13,627 --> 00:14:15,094
No, I want to go!
407
00:14:15,096 --> 00:14:16,562
Just give me a half hour,
please.
408
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,965
You said this
would be 5 minutes!
409
00:14:18,967 --> 00:14:20,299
Did you not
go to school?
410
00:14:20,301 --> 00:14:21,300
Alright, avery, shush.
411
00:14:21,302 --> 00:14:22,301
You said you went
to harvard!
412
00:14:22,303 --> 00:14:23,903
[ laughter ]
413
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:25,637
These kids.
I'm sorry to laugh.
I didn't mean to laugh.
414
00:14:25,639 --> 00:14:26,572
Stay out of this.
415
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:29,041
Ohh!
Ohh!
416
00:14:29,043 --> 00:14:30,310
Shush!
417
00:14:30,312 --> 00:14:31,511
[ laughter ]
418
00:14:31,513 --> 00:14:33,445
Don't you dare do that.
That's not nice.
419
00:14:33,447 --> 00:14:34,446
I'm so sorry, sir.
420
00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:36,315
Get him to back you up.
421
00:14:36,317 --> 00:14:37,517
Back me up. Back me up.
422
00:14:37,519 --> 00:14:39,385
If you don't --
if you don't behave...
423
00:14:39,387 --> 00:14:42,388
This man is gonna kill
all of santa's elves.
424
00:14:42,390 --> 00:14:45,124
[ laughs ]
425
00:14:45,126 --> 00:14:46,659
This man is gonna kill
santa's elves.
426
00:14:46,661 --> 00:14:48,594
[ gasps ]
yes.
427
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:49,929
And that, I have
no problem doing.
428
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,998
A-ha. You see?
429
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,465
If you're good, you'll get
a lot of gifts this year.
430
00:14:53,467 --> 00:14:54,600
That's right.
431
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,002
And if you're not,
what are you gonna do?
432
00:14:56,004 --> 00:14:57,069
I'm gonna kill the elves.
433
00:14:57,071 --> 00:14:58,404
Even clumpy the elf?
434
00:14:58,406 --> 00:14:59,872
Even clumpy the elf?
435
00:14:59,874 --> 00:15:01,541
Even clumpy the elf.
436
00:15:01,543 --> 00:15:02,675
He's gone.
437
00:15:02,677 --> 00:15:05,211
[ laughter ]
438
00:15:05,213 --> 00:15:06,612
Put your money
where your mouth is.
439
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:08,381
No, that's not what he's
going to do. I'm sorry.
440
00:15:10,484 --> 00:15:11,951
Can I say something?
441
00:15:14,556 --> 00:15:15,821
[ laughter ]
442
00:15:15,823 --> 00:15:17,089
The elves are done!
443
00:15:17,091 --> 00:15:19,225
♪♪
444
00:15:19,227 --> 00:15:21,627
Narrator: Murr, sal, and q
got some backup,
445
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:25,030
But murr
is still tonight's big loser.
446
00:15:25,032 --> 00:15:26,832
So murr lost, and we have
actor, writer,
447
00:15:26,834 --> 00:15:29,301
And my favorite improviser of
all time, bobby moynihan,
448
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:30,636
Here to help us punish him.
449
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,638
And, murr, today
you are going to be a tailor
450
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:36,108
Helping women pick out their
wedding dress for their big day.
Ooh.
451
00:15:36,110 --> 00:15:39,045
This place is charming.
It's elegant. It's beautiful.
452
00:15:39,047 --> 00:15:41,981
You will be
none of the above today.
453
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,916
If it seems really tense
in there, don't worry.
454
00:15:43,918 --> 00:15:45,618
I will come in and make it
a lot worse for you.
455
00:15:48,055 --> 00:15:51,591
Sal: Murray is the senior tailor
of belle's dresses,
456
00:15:51,593 --> 00:15:53,993
And bobby
is his esteemed colleague.
457
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,394
Q: Well, bobby's whatever
we need him to be.
458
00:15:55,396 --> 00:15:57,329
Correct.
Okay, so here we go.
459
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,198
Hi. What's your name?
460
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,600
Tara, I'm james.
Nice to meet you.
461
00:16:00,602 --> 00:16:02,802
Have a seat, please.
Make yourself comfortable.
462
00:16:02,804 --> 00:16:04,403
Alright,
so we'll be focusing on tara.
463
00:16:04,405 --> 00:16:06,138
Hi, mom. Hi.
464
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:07,873
So we'll be focusing
on tara today.
465
00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:09,341
Lace or non-lace?
466
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:11,210
Not a lot.
Okay.
467
00:16:11,212 --> 00:16:13,212
I'm gonna show you one
with and without.
468
00:16:13,214 --> 00:16:16,215
Okay, tara, I want to show you
this style, too.
469
00:16:16,217 --> 00:16:17,483
I know.
470
00:16:17,485 --> 00:16:19,018
If you're not on
cloud nine after today,
471
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,153
My name isn't
toots murmelstein.
472
00:16:21,155 --> 00:16:24,356
And if you are not on cloud nine
after this dress,
473
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:27,026
My name is not
toots murmelstein.
474
00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:30,830
Murr, just run to and fro,
clicking your heels.
475
00:16:30,832 --> 00:16:32,365
Okay.
476
00:16:36,904 --> 00:16:38,704
I got to
tell you something.
477
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:42,308
I [bleep] hate
that heel clicking.
478
00:16:42,310 --> 00:16:44,510
Every day of my life.
479
00:16:44,512 --> 00:16:47,246
I wake up every day and the
first thing I think of is,
480
00:16:47,248 --> 00:16:48,448
If he does that
heel click today,
481
00:16:48,450 --> 00:16:49,849
I'm gonna [bleep]
kill myself.
482
00:16:49,851 --> 00:16:51,117
Oh, no.
483
00:16:51,119 --> 00:16:52,652
Murr, click your heels
on the way back.
484
00:16:52,654 --> 00:16:55,988
Okay, so...
485
00:16:55,990 --> 00:16:59,725
[ laughter ].
486
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,327
One last one.
487
00:17:01,329 --> 00:17:04,196
Suggest taking a few inches
on the dumper.
488
00:17:04,198 --> 00:17:08,334
But first,
let's measure that dumper, okay?
489
00:17:08,336 --> 00:17:09,735
So how are we today?
Good.
490
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,337
Oh, you can put your stuff down
if you like.
491
00:17:11,339 --> 00:17:13,740
Are we hanging a veil
on that melon of yours?
492
00:17:16,477 --> 00:17:18,811
Bobby looking away.
493
00:17:18,813 --> 00:17:20,146
Uh, question.
494
00:17:20,148 --> 00:17:21,613
When you picture
your wedding
495
00:17:21,615 --> 00:17:23,683
And you walking down the aisle,
496
00:17:23,685 --> 00:17:28,154
Do you imagine a veil
on that melon?
497
00:17:28,156 --> 00:17:29,355
Um, maybe.
498
00:17:29,357 --> 00:17:32,158
[ laughter ]
499
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,027
[ strained ]
excuse me one second.
500
00:17:35,029 --> 00:17:36,229
Yeah, it's good.
501
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:39,765
Murr,
what are you doing?
502
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:42,034
It's a punishment!
Get back in there!
503
00:17:42,036 --> 00:17:44,103
Oh, hi, guys.
You're getting married?
504
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,104
Yes, I am.
Okay. Congratulations.
505
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,039
Sal: Hey, bobby.
Can you come on back?
506
00:17:47,041 --> 00:17:49,775
We want to give you a little bit
of a character change.
507
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,444
"so, guys, let's shoot
each other straight."
508
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:56,582
Guys, let's shoot
each other straight.
509
00:17:56,584 --> 00:18:01,120
Will the wedding
be a purely caucasian affair?
510
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:02,321
Do you guys know
if the wedding will be
511
00:18:02,323 --> 00:18:05,257
Primarily a caucasian affair?
512
00:18:05,259 --> 00:18:07,059
We're filipino.
You're filipino?
513
00:18:07,061 --> 00:18:09,529
But our mom's side is white and
our dad's side is filipino.
514
00:18:09,531 --> 00:18:11,130
Your mom's side is white.
Yes.
515
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:13,399
So it's
a half-caucasian affair.
516
00:18:13,401 --> 00:18:15,334
So it's a
cauc and an asian affair.
517
00:18:15,336 --> 00:18:17,069
So -- so it's --
518
00:18:17,071 --> 00:18:20,872
So it's a bit of cauc
and a bit of asian.
519
00:18:20,874 --> 00:18:22,608
So it's a cauc-asian?
It's cauc-asian, right?
520
00:18:25,213 --> 00:18:28,213
How much cauc is coming?
521
00:18:28,215 --> 00:18:30,015
Do you guys --
do you guys know --
522
00:18:30,017 --> 00:18:33,152
[ laughing ]
how much cauc is coming?
523
00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:36,222
♪♪
524
00:18:39,693 --> 00:18:41,627
So it's a cauc-asian wedding?
It's cauc-asian, right?
525
00:18:44,364 --> 00:18:47,099
How much cauc is coming?
526
00:18:47,101 --> 00:18:49,367
Do you guys --
do you guys know --
527
00:18:49,369 --> 00:18:52,104
How much cauc is coming?
528
00:18:52,106 --> 00:18:54,573
[ laughter ]
529
00:18:56,310 --> 00:18:57,776
You okay?
530
00:18:57,778 --> 00:19:00,312
Um.
Keep it together,
you idiot!
531
00:19:00,314 --> 00:19:03,181
Do you guys --
532
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:06,384
[ laughing ]
533
00:19:06,386 --> 00:19:09,587
[ laughing ]
do you guys know --
534
00:19:09,589 --> 00:19:12,390
Do you guys know
how much cauc is coming?
535
00:19:12,392 --> 00:19:13,592
I'm sorry.
536
00:19:13,594 --> 00:19:16,261
[ laughter ]
537
00:19:16,263 --> 00:19:18,531
How much cauc is coming
to the wedding?
538
00:19:20,934 --> 00:19:21,867
Just the white people?
539
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:24,336
Yeah, yeah.
540
00:19:24,338 --> 00:19:27,139
I'd say like, 50/50.
Yeah.
541
00:19:27,141 --> 00:19:29,207
Ooh, that's pretty!
542
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:30,542
Oh, my god. Fantastic.
543
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:32,144
Look at that.
544
00:19:32,146 --> 00:19:33,679
Again, don't worry about the
length or anything like that.
545
00:19:33,681 --> 00:19:37,149
Just start waving behind
your ass like you farted.
546
00:19:37,151 --> 00:19:38,484
Whew.
547
00:19:38,486 --> 00:19:40,886
[ laughter ]
548
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,755
Toots, toots.
549
00:19:43,757 --> 00:19:45,224
Toot-toot.
550
00:19:50,831 --> 00:19:52,364
Murr, sit down next to
her friends and go,
551
00:19:52,366 --> 00:19:55,901
"man, I wish
I met her 20 years ago."
552
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,836
Whew.
553
00:19:57,838 --> 00:19:59,037
I gotta tell you,
554
00:19:59,039 --> 00:20:01,907
Man, I wish I had met
your friend 20 years ago.
555
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,775
I could be the cauc
in her life.
556
00:20:03,777 --> 00:20:07,245
I could have been the cauc
in her life.
557
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:08,714
She would have been 3.
558
00:20:13,988 --> 00:20:16,855
Sal: We have a
a new character for bobby.
559
00:20:16,857 --> 00:20:18,123
Who is this?
560
00:20:18,125 --> 00:20:19,457
I'm your friend.
561
00:20:19,459 --> 00:20:22,928
Murr, bobby is your unsavory
friend from the neighborhood.
562
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,796
He's gonna be lingering
a little too long.
563
00:20:24,798 --> 00:20:26,999
He really shoots from the hip,
if you know what I mean.
564
00:20:27,001 --> 00:20:29,601
Welcome. You're getting married?
565
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:30,869
Yes.
Oh, wow. That's great.
566
00:20:30,871 --> 00:20:34,472
Sal:
And enter bobby.
567
00:20:34,474 --> 00:20:36,208
You like -- hey.
Hey.
568
00:20:36,210 --> 00:20:37,475
You almost done.
569
00:20:37,477 --> 00:20:38,877
What's that?
Are you almost done?
570
00:20:38,879 --> 00:20:40,412
No, no, no. I just started
with the client.
571
00:20:40,414 --> 00:20:42,147
This is my buddy
from back home.
572
00:20:42,149 --> 00:20:43,148
Oh.
Yeah.
573
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:44,216
He's supposed
to be taking me
574
00:20:44,218 --> 00:20:46,618
To see
the incubus concert.
575
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,755
He's supposed to be taking me
to this incubus concert
576
00:20:49,757 --> 00:20:52,224
That we've been waiting for
for how long?
577
00:20:52,226 --> 00:20:53,158
I'll tell you one thing.
578
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,960
If I miss incubus,
I'm gonna go nuts.
579
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:57,363
I'm gonna tell everybody
you sucked my gabagool.
580
00:21:00,034 --> 00:21:02,901
I think I would probably
prefer a sleeve.
581
00:21:02,903 --> 00:21:04,702
Sleeves.
Okay. Give me one second.
582
00:21:04,704 --> 00:21:05,771
Okay? One second.
583
00:21:05,773 --> 00:21:07,106
Alright.
584
00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:16,181
Bobby:
You getting married?
585
00:21:16,183 --> 00:21:17,182
Yes.
586
00:21:17,184 --> 00:21:18,717
Congratulations.
Thank you.
587
00:21:18,719 --> 00:21:20,718
Guy or girl?
588
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,254
Me and my boyfriend.
589
00:21:22,256 --> 00:21:23,722
That's cool.
590
00:21:23,724 --> 00:21:26,225
People still
do that now.
591
00:21:28,528 --> 00:21:30,662
Sorry about that, guys.
My apologies.
592
00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:34,466
Okay, so you were saying
sleeve, for sure.
593
00:21:34,468 --> 00:21:35,934
Do you know
the band incubus?
594
00:21:35,936 --> 00:21:37,335
Yeah.
595
00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:38,670
That's all I got to say.
596
00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:41,339
Bobby, it'll be
a little bit, okay?
597
00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:42,740
I know.
I'm sorry, I know.
598
00:21:42,742 --> 00:21:44,342
But I'm just saying,
you told me 3:30.
599
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,077
I don't work here.
I don't care about your job.
600
00:21:46,079 --> 00:21:48,814
I'm not gonna get fired,
so you hurry it up.
601
00:21:48,816 --> 00:21:50,416
I'm the friend
who needs to go see incubus.
602
00:21:55,423 --> 00:21:57,823
Say, "pardon us one second,
sweetheart."
603
00:21:57,825 --> 00:21:59,291
Just give us one second,
sweetheart.
604
00:21:59,293 --> 00:22:01,226
Hey, can I talk to you
for a sec?
605
00:22:01,228 --> 00:22:04,162
Um, if you want
this to stop...
606
00:22:04,164 --> 00:22:05,163
Yes, please!
607
00:22:05,165 --> 00:22:07,232
All you have to do
608
00:22:07,234 --> 00:22:13,905
Is take off the ring
you're wearing and swallow it.
609
00:22:13,907 --> 00:22:16,408
[ laughter ]
610
00:22:18,846 --> 00:22:20,045
Your wedding band!
611
00:22:22,516 --> 00:22:25,050
You're not serious.
Is this dangerous?
612
00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:26,184
Or we can keep going.
613
00:22:26,186 --> 00:22:28,320
I mean, we could keep
going until you do.
614
00:22:28,322 --> 00:22:29,587
No, because I have
a plane to catch.
615
00:22:29,589 --> 00:22:30,856
Ohh.
Oh, do you?
616
00:22:30,858 --> 00:22:32,524
Uh...
617
00:22:32,526 --> 00:22:34,126
Okay, [bleep].
Let's do it.
618
00:22:34,128 --> 00:22:35,727
Ohhh!
Let's do it.
619
00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:38,063
Q: Oh, my god.
Oh, my god!
620
00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:39,931
End this punishment, please.
Let's do it.
621
00:22:39,933 --> 00:22:42,868
Wow. I actually --
I can't believe this.
622
00:22:42,870 --> 00:22:45,603
Here we go.
Oh, my god.
623
00:22:45,605 --> 00:22:47,605
There we go.
He's got the water.
624
00:22:47,607 --> 00:22:51,209
Oh. Oh, my god.
625
00:22:51,211 --> 00:22:53,011
Oh, my god.
626
00:22:53,013 --> 00:22:59,017
Down the hatch, baby!
Come on, toots.
627
00:22:59,019 --> 00:23:04,956
♪♪
628
00:23:04,958 --> 00:23:06,492
[ gags, coughs ]
whoa!
629
00:23:06,494 --> 00:23:08,760
Oh, my god.
630
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:10,161
Punishment's over.
631
00:23:10,163 --> 00:23:13,831
Well...
Well...
632
00:23:13,833 --> 00:23:15,701
There was one more
quick thing.
633
00:23:15,703 --> 00:23:17,369
You know you're getting
on a flight right now.
634
00:23:17,371 --> 00:23:18,970
Yeah.
635
00:23:18,972 --> 00:23:21,773
You know that you don't
like this outfit.
636
00:23:21,775 --> 00:23:23,909
Uh-huh.
637
00:23:23,911 --> 00:23:26,511
So we have a different outfit
for you to wear to the airport
638
00:23:26,513 --> 00:23:28,580
And get on the plane.
639
00:23:28,582 --> 00:23:30,782
[ laughter ]
640
00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:37,389
♪♪
641
00:23:37,391 --> 00:23:43,995
♪♪
642
00:23:43,997 --> 00:23:50,535
♪♪
643
00:23:50,537 --> 00:23:58,476
♪♪
644
00:23:58,478 --> 00:23:59,945
Thank you. I try.
645
00:23:59,947 --> 00:24:02,381
♪♪