1 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:09,074 [ laughter ] 2 00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:12,277 [ screams ] 3 00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:15,079 Let's just get this started. 4 00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:16,615 Are you kidding me?! 5 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,083 Who's a good cat? 6 00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:20,185 [ laughter ] 7 00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:26,825 [ laughter echoing ] 8 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,763 Tonight we are in brooklyn at carmine and sons pizzeria, 9 00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:32,364 And we're playing angry customers 10 00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:33,766 Marching into the pizzeria 11 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,433 And throwing water in a worker's face. 12 00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:37,702 The worker will be someone we know, 13 00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:40,172 But we won't know who until the moment we step in the store. 14 00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,441 And the reason we're throwing the water will be given to us 15 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:43,708 By the other guys. 16 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,510 If you can't convince one of the customers 17 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:48,747 That that employee deserved it, you'll lose. 18 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,118 Okay, so here's the deal. [ laughing ] 19 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,254 For q, 20 00:00:56,390 --> 00:01:00,258 We have our dear friend brooke shields. 21 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:05,530 Shields is in a hairnet at the pizzeria, 22 00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:07,666 Working. 23 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,934 Hi, brooke. Hi. 24 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,337 Thank you for doing this. Thank you. 25 00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,539 Brooke, you do realize, if this is a success, 26 00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:17,275 You will be taking like a pint of water to the face. 27 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:19,144 You know this. Terrific. Yes. 28 00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:20,345 Okay, okay. 29 00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:21,680 The more, the better. 30 00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:24,216 [ both laugh ] 31 00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:25,717 Alright, here he comes. 32 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:30,155 [ laughter ] 33 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:33,425 Q, it's brooke shields. 34 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,360 Icon, legend. 35 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,295 Q: Can't believe that I'm about to throw water 36 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,497 In brooke shields' face. 37 00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,199 Go for it, q. Right in front of this guy. 38 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:43,568 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 39 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,204 [ clears throat ] 40 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,907 Ah, there you go! 41 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:52,511 Oh, my god! Oh, my god! 42 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:54,779 I'll tell you why I did it. 43 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:55,914 "I said smile more." 44 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:57,049 I said smile more. 45 00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:59,651 "she didn't. And now we're here." 46 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:04,256 She didn't. And now we're here. 47 00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:05,657 You don't get to tell a woman 48 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:09,061 How she's supposed to feel, you jackass. 49 00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,929 And you ruined this guy's [bleep] pizza. 50 00:02:11,065 --> 00:02:13,265 It's a pizzeria. It's a pizzeria. Get him a new pizza. 51 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,133 You guys agree with me, though, right? 52 00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:16,702 Obviously, if she smiled, that would be a little bit better. 53 00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:23,608 That's [bleep] up? 54 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,210 [ laughing ] 55 00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:26,278 So, nobody's with me on this? 56 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,349 Sal: Oh, no! Oh, my god. 57 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,485 Go, q! 58 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,487 You agree with me, right? 59 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,622 No. Nobody agrees. 60 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,891 [ laughter ] 61 00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:41,493 Oh, my god. 62 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,227 By the way... 63 00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:46,831 Not a drop hit the floor. You guys notice that? 64 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,100 Not a drop hit the floor. 65 00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:49,834 I kind of deserved it. 66 00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:51,170 [ buzzer ] 67 00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:54,306 Murr: Alright, sally, here we go. 68 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:56,374 Well, you guys know simmy can't-stand-your-bits, 69 00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:59,111 The producer of "impractical jokers." 70 00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:00,979 -Whaaaat! -Ohhh! 71 00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:05,450 Q: Oh, it's his daughter. It's simmy's daughter, ella. 72 00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:07,652 It's his 13-year-old daughter, ella. 73 00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:11,055 Ella can't-stand-your-bits. 74 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,658 Daddy's got to go make-a da pizza. 75 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,660 [ laughter ] 76 00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:17,796 Alright, well, sal, go. Go for it, bud. 77 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,431 [ exhales sharply ] 78 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,133 Hey! 79 00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,202 You thought I wouldn't find you? 80 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,873 "she told her mom I was a scrub." 81 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,943 She -- she told her mom I was a scrub. 82 00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:34,546 -Uh-oh! Uh-oh! -[ laughing ] ohh! 83 00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:38,082 You just threw water on a 13-year-old girl's, like, face. 84 00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:39,351 You are a scrub. 85 00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:40,819 [ laughing ] 86 00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,354 But there's a reason I did it. 87 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,222 No! There's a reason I did it. 88 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,359 She keeps calling me a scrub. 89 00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,761 How old are you? 90 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,164 I-I'm in my 40s. It doesn't... 91 00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,432 But whether I'm -- whether I'm in my 40s or not, 92 00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:56,368 You want to be treated like an adult, 93 00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:59,571 And she keeps insulting me, so I just -- it's just -- 94 00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:00,706 She just... 95 00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:05,844 [ laughter ] 96 00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:09,247 Ella: I'm soaking wet! You don't think she deserved it? 97 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,382 Get the [bleep] out. 98 00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:14,986 [ laughing, shouting ] 99 00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:18,056 Oh, you're done. You're done. 100 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,724 My mom don't want no scrubs. 101 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,794 [ laughter ] 102 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,530 A miserable failure. 103 00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:27,465 Q: Alright. There she is. 104 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,201 Sal: Murr is going to have to throw a cup of liquid 105 00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:31,536 Directly in his grandmother-in-law's face. 106 00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:33,137 -Betty. -Yes. 107 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,007 What type of grandson-in-law is murr? 108 00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:37,676 Is he -- do you like him? Is he enjoyable? 109 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,878 Yes, very much so. 110 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,947 Betty, can you name five good traits about him? 111 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,149 He's very good-natured. 112 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:48,152 He's very good to my granddaughter. 113 00:04:48,154 --> 00:04:49,754 And that taps it out at two. 114 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,956 That's two right there. 115 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,626 Um, I don't know him that much 116 00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:57,229 Because I'm not around him a lot. 117 00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:59,497 Don't you think that a better grandson-in-law 118 00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:00,765 Would make sure that he saw you more? 119 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,700 Yes. 120 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:04,769 Seems a little weird that he's always going away 121 00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,239 On vacations and stealing your granddaughter away from you. 122 00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,241 I agree 100%. 123 00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:11,109 I turned her. I turned her! 124 00:05:11,245 --> 00:05:13,245 It took two questions to turn her. 125 00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:19,651 -That's nanny. -Yeah. 126 00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:20,719 Welcome to work today. 127 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:22,454 Go assault your wife's grandmother. 128 00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,722 You say it like that, I feel like a dick. 129 00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,724 But if it makes it easier for you, 130 00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:27,926 She was hardcore complaining about you -- 131 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,193 Was she? ...Before you came in. 132 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,062 Yeah, and you don't hang out enough with that -- 133 00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:33,131 Their side of the family. Really? 134 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,198 [bleep] this bitch. 135 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,801 [ laughter ] 136 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,270 Here we go, buddy. 137 00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:39,537 Excuse me. 138 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:40,706 Excuse me. 139 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,042 That's what you get! 140 00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,415 [ laughter ] 141 00:05:51,285 --> 00:05:53,351 "she turned her grandchildren against me." 142 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,019 She -- you know what it is? 143 00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,688 She turned her grandchildren against me. 144 00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:58,556 Did you throw that on a lady? 145 00:05:58,558 --> 00:05:59,624 I... 146 00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,560 [ laughter ] 147 00:06:04,746 --> 00:06:06,412 Murr: She turned her grandchildren against me. 148 00:06:06,414 --> 00:06:08,748 You know what it is? She turned her grandchildren against me. 149 00:06:08,884 --> 00:06:10,616 Did you throw that on a lady? 150 00:06:10,618 --> 00:06:12,686 I... Did you throw that water on a lady? 151 00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:15,689 I did just now. Get the [bleep] outta this store. 152 00:06:15,823 --> 00:06:17,156 Get out of the store. Let me explain -- 153 00:06:17,158 --> 00:06:18,291 I don't give a [bleep] what you... 154 00:06:18,426 --> 00:06:20,360 She's a woman. Get out of the store! 155 00:06:20,495 --> 00:06:22,295 Let me explain, though. She turned her grandchildren -- 156 00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:24,230 I don't give a [bleep]. Please leave. 157 00:06:24,365 --> 00:06:25,431 Don't you think she deserved it, though? 158 00:06:25,567 --> 00:06:27,967 I don't think a woman deserves that at all. 159 00:06:27,969 --> 00:06:30,970 I'm old! I'm old! 160 00:06:30,972 --> 00:06:32,372 I'm sorry -- brother, don't touch me. 161 00:06:32,507 --> 00:06:33,706 I won't touch you. Step out of the store. Please. 162 00:06:33,841 --> 00:06:35,374 But you know, I just want to explain my case. 163 00:06:35,376 --> 00:06:37,843 I don't want to hear you. I don't really care. I feel like -- 164 00:06:37,845 --> 00:06:39,112 Murr, I think that you've lost, 165 00:06:39,247 --> 00:06:40,846 But you do whatever you want. 166 00:06:40,848 --> 00:06:42,315 Just go outside. What I'm gonna do for you -- 167 00:06:42,450 --> 00:06:44,050 You're not gonna do anything for me. 168 00:06:44,185 --> 00:06:45,385 'cause now I'm starting to get pissed off. 169 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,788 Now you're getting pissed? Yeah. 170 00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:52,191 Murr, you are done. I never seen someone more done. 171 00:06:52,193 --> 00:06:54,393 What I think I'm going to do at this point 172 00:06:54,395 --> 00:06:56,796 Is just take the loss and step outside. 173 00:06:56,932 --> 00:06:58,164 I'm just gonna -- right? Thank you. Good. 174 00:06:59,134 --> 00:07:00,166 But you don't -- 175 00:07:01,202 --> 00:07:02,335 Okay, I'm just gonna... 176 00:07:02,470 --> 00:07:04,069 [ laughter ] 177 00:07:04,071 --> 00:07:05,471 Betty, say, "beat it, baldy." 178 00:07:05,607 --> 00:07:08,207 Beat it, baldy. 179 00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:09,743 I'm so sorry I threw water on you! 180 00:07:09,877 --> 00:07:11,344 [ buzzer ] 181 00:07:11,479 --> 00:07:14,213 Narrator: They shouldn't have thrown that water on the lady, 182 00:07:14,349 --> 00:07:17,550 So q, sal, and murr are heading to the loser board. 183 00:07:17,685 --> 00:07:19,018 Today, we're at a focus group reading 184 00:07:19,154 --> 00:07:21,354 Our recent online reviews to a group of strangers. 185 00:07:21,489 --> 00:07:24,023 The thing is, these reviews have been written by the other guys, 186 00:07:24,025 --> 00:07:25,625 So we have no idea what they say 187 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,293 Until the moment we read them aloud. 188 00:07:27,428 --> 00:07:29,028 The goal is not to laugh. 189 00:07:29,164 --> 00:07:30,630 Whoever laughs the most loses. 190 00:07:30,632 --> 00:07:33,366 A real review of "impractical jokers" -- 191 00:07:33,501 --> 00:07:35,969 "q is the coolest, sal is scared of everything, 192 00:07:36,103 --> 00:07:37,971 And murr is their toy." 193 00:07:38,106 --> 00:07:39,205 [ laughter ] 194 00:07:42,910 --> 00:07:45,778 Well, I'm so thankful for you to come here, all of you, today. 195 00:07:45,913 --> 00:07:47,046 -Alright, sal. -Here we go. 196 00:07:47,182 --> 00:07:48,648 So, tell us a little bit about yourself. 197 00:07:48,783 --> 00:07:50,984 Q: Today we have phoebe as a moderator. 198 00:07:51,119 --> 00:07:52,718 You've seen her on the show before. 199 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,320 She played my wife in a challenge. 200 00:07:54,322 --> 00:07:55,921 And I think your wife too, right? That's right. Yes! 201 00:07:55,923 --> 00:07:57,323 Yeah. She's a dear friend of ours. 202 00:07:57,458 --> 00:07:59,192 Phoebe: We're just trying to figure out, like, 203 00:07:59,327 --> 00:08:01,995 What in a product inspires people to write a review 204 00:08:02,129 --> 00:08:03,729 And what makes it positive or negative. 205 00:08:03,865 --> 00:08:05,665 So do you want to start? 206 00:08:05,667 --> 00:08:08,934 Okay, this eyebrow lamination kit. 207 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:11,471 I was very happy with the results the first time using it. 208 00:08:11,606 --> 00:08:15,208 Sal, are you dressed exactly like this woman? 209 00:08:15,343 --> 00:08:17,410 Oh, my god. Same shoes, too! Yeah. 210 00:08:17,545 --> 00:08:20,946 Sal, you dress like a 25-year-old girl. 211 00:08:20,948 --> 00:08:22,682 It does not feel cheap at all. 212 00:08:22,684 --> 00:08:24,283 Phoebe: Great. 213 00:08:24,419 --> 00:08:26,485 Alright, sal. Here we go. 214 00:08:26,487 --> 00:08:28,421 Okay, so this is actually not a product. 215 00:08:28,556 --> 00:08:31,290 I'm from staten island, so staten island mall urgent care. 216 00:08:31,292 --> 00:08:33,426 "beware. Smoking is not allowed inside. 217 00:08:33,561 --> 00:08:35,494 Receptionist is racially ambiguous 218 00:08:35,496 --> 00:08:37,030 And has a visible tooth." 219 00:08:37,165 --> 00:08:38,764 [ laughter ] 220 00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:40,633 What's a visible tooth? 221 00:08:40,768 --> 00:08:42,836 Not that I would smoke inside, but there was a vestibule, 222 00:08:42,970 --> 00:08:44,437 And it used to be -- 223 00:08:44,572 --> 00:08:47,173 Used to be smoking in there, and they took it away. 224 00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:50,910 -Are you a smoker? -No. 225 00:08:50,912 --> 00:08:52,578 Alright, sal, you got through one, bud. 226 00:08:52,714 --> 00:08:54,647 Phoebe: That's great. Let's do another round. 227 00:08:54,782 --> 00:08:57,116 This is a review for women's probiotic supplements. 228 00:08:57,118 --> 00:08:59,252 "I started taking mom's vitamins when mine ran out, 229 00:08:59,387 --> 00:09:00,786 And I got to tell you, 230 00:09:00,788 --> 00:09:02,255 [chuckling lightly] I'm dropping turds like a lady." 231 00:09:02,390 --> 00:09:03,989 [ laughter ] 232 00:09:04,125 --> 00:09:05,725 That's a little bit of a laugh. 233 00:09:05,727 --> 00:09:08,261 Phoebe: Alright. And did you have one more? 234 00:09:08,396 --> 00:09:10,129 Okay. Hungry hungry hippos. 235 00:09:10,265 --> 00:09:13,533 Good luck with this one. 236 00:09:13,668 --> 00:09:14,867 Uh... 237 00:09:15,002 --> 00:09:16,069 [ laughs ] 238 00:09:16,203 --> 00:09:18,238 That's it! Right away! 239 00:09:20,942 --> 00:09:21,807 [ chuckles ] 240 00:09:21,943 --> 00:09:22,808 There you go, bud. 241 00:09:22,944 --> 00:09:23,809 You can read the review. 242 00:09:23,945 --> 00:09:26,812 I know. Hungry hungry hippos. 243 00:09:26,814 --> 00:09:28,814 "game play too confusing." 244 00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:30,816 [ laughter ] 245 00:09:30,952 --> 00:09:33,352 It's dunh-dunh-dunh! 246 00:09:33,488 --> 00:09:34,954 A moron could do it. 247 00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:36,489 I don't know, I can't get the scoring system down. 248 00:09:36,624 --> 00:09:38,224 They don't put in instructions. 249 00:09:39,427 --> 00:09:40,393 Nope. 250 00:09:43,364 --> 00:09:44,564 [ high-pitched voice ] that's my review. 251 00:09:44,699 --> 00:09:46,699 [ laughter ] 252 00:09:46,834 --> 00:09:47,767 [ bell dinging ] 253 00:09:47,769 --> 00:09:49,835 That was impressive for sal. 254 00:09:49,971 --> 00:09:51,637 Here we go. Q is up. 255 00:09:51,639 --> 00:09:53,172 So, thank you all for coming today. 256 00:09:53,174 --> 00:09:54,908 Who wants to start? Sal: Alright, buddy. 257 00:09:55,042 --> 00:09:56,776 Let's see how you do. Let's see how you set the tone. 258 00:09:56,778 --> 00:09:58,678 Do you know what jasmine rice is? 259 00:09:59,915 --> 00:10:04,117 Uh, well, unfortunately, I did not have a good experience. 260 00:10:04,252 --> 00:10:06,452 "I had a terrible experience with this rice. 261 00:10:06,454 --> 00:10:08,387 It was hard and impossible to chew, 262 00:10:08,523 --> 00:10:09,923 Like chomping on rocks. 263 00:10:10,057 --> 00:10:12,258 Not soft and wet like in the pics. 264 00:10:12,393 --> 00:10:16,395 I was peckish, however, so I did eat the whole bag." 265 00:10:16,397 --> 00:10:18,598 [ laughing ] you ate raw rice? 266 00:10:18,733 --> 00:10:22,067 "stomach distress ensued, followed by a disastrous trip 267 00:10:22,203 --> 00:10:24,504 To the staten island mall urgent care." 268 00:10:26,741 --> 00:10:28,007 Did you cook the rice? 269 00:10:28,143 --> 00:10:29,542 [ laughter ] 270 00:10:29,677 --> 00:10:31,677 Well, it was in-- it was instant rice. 271 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:32,878 It was rice. 272 00:10:33,014 --> 00:10:35,014 [ laughter ] 273 00:10:35,016 --> 00:10:36,949 So, like, two minutes in the microwave? 274 00:10:37,084 --> 00:10:39,952 No, instant, like instant mashed potatoes. 275 00:10:40,087 --> 00:10:42,087 Like the flakes? 276 00:10:42,223 --> 00:10:44,157 You put them in your mouth and then you chew them enough 277 00:10:44,291 --> 00:10:46,226 And they kind of turn into mashed potatoes. 278 00:10:47,695 --> 00:10:48,962 That's terrible. 279 00:10:49,096 --> 00:10:50,830 That's -- that was my point. 280 00:10:50,832 --> 00:10:52,631 [ laughter ] 281 00:10:52,633 --> 00:10:53,633 Murr: Alright, q. 282 00:10:53,768 --> 00:10:56,035 Alright. You flexing nuts out there? 283 00:10:56,037 --> 00:10:57,036 No laughs? 284 00:10:57,172 --> 00:10:58,371 Did you have another review? 285 00:10:58,506 --> 00:10:59,772 Sal: Alright, bud. 286 00:10:59,907 --> 00:11:00,906 This is for an air freshener I got. 287 00:11:01,042 --> 00:11:02,375 Good luck. 288 00:11:02,510 --> 00:11:04,177 "as someone who suffers from multiple intestinal conditions, 289 00:11:04,311 --> 00:11:06,579 It can be hard to keep my home smelling fresh. 290 00:11:06,714 --> 00:11:09,782 It usually smells like I'm running an air biscuit bakery. 291 00:11:09,917 --> 00:11:11,851 [ chuckling ] I'm always st--" 292 00:11:11,853 --> 00:11:13,853 There you go. There's a laugh. 293 00:11:13,855 --> 00:11:17,657 "I'm always stomping on ducks and stinking it up, 294 00:11:17,792 --> 00:11:19,792 Tickling my taint 295 00:11:19,927 --> 00:11:22,028 And thurping bung thunder... 296 00:11:24,131 --> 00:11:26,065 [ laughing ] ...Til the air turns brown." 297 00:11:26,201 --> 00:11:28,401 [ laughter ] 298 00:11:28,536 --> 00:11:29,468 "but guess what. 299 00:11:29,470 --> 00:11:30,870 Somehow, miraculously, 300 00:11:30,872 --> 00:11:32,805 This gift-from-god air freshener 301 00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:36,609 Has my whole apartment smelling like a brand-new car." 302 00:11:36,744 --> 00:11:39,078 So, that's a positive review. 303 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,346 [ laughter ] 304 00:11:41,348 --> 00:11:43,682 I'm so sorry -- I feel like I barely -- 305 00:11:43,684 --> 00:11:45,418 Understood what he was saying? 306 00:11:45,553 --> 00:11:46,485 [ laughter ] 307 00:11:46,621 --> 00:11:48,554 There were tons of fart innuendos 308 00:11:48,556 --> 00:11:49,822 About how much he farts. 309 00:11:49,957 --> 00:11:51,691 Yeah. 310 00:11:51,826 --> 00:11:53,693 Alright, let's wrap this up. Last one. 311 00:11:53,828 --> 00:11:55,494 Q: Sorry. Yeah, my last one. 312 00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,096 This is natural soy wax scented candles. 313 00:11:58,633 --> 00:12:00,900 Yeah, I just wrote, "it stinks dick." 314 00:12:01,035 --> 00:12:03,502 [ laughter ] 315 00:12:03,638 --> 00:12:04,970 I just wrote, "it stinks dick." 316 00:12:04,972 --> 00:12:06,839 [ laughing ] you know. 317 00:12:06,974 --> 00:12:08,574 There you go. There you go. 318 00:12:08,709 --> 00:12:10,042 Well, this was super helpful. 319 00:12:10,177 --> 00:12:11,777 Was it? Was it super helpful? 320 00:12:11,913 --> 00:12:14,780 Did I -- was I helpful? I feel like... 321 00:12:14,916 --> 00:12:15,915 Can I go? 322 00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:17,850 Murr: Good job, q! 323 00:12:17,985 --> 00:12:19,785 Phoebe: Do you guys feel ready to start? 324 00:12:19,921 --> 00:12:21,386 -Sure. Yeah. I'm excited. -Okay. 325 00:12:21,388 --> 00:12:22,721 -Here we go. Here we go. -Okay. 326 00:12:22,723 --> 00:12:24,123 We didn't make this easy for murr, 327 00:12:24,259 --> 00:12:25,324 I'll tell you that right now. 328 00:12:25,326 --> 00:12:27,260 This review is for gps tags. 329 00:12:27,395 --> 00:12:29,262 "this is a great way 330 00:12:29,396 --> 00:12:31,731 To track your wife's movements without her knowing." 331 00:12:31,866 --> 00:12:34,467 [ laughter ] 332 00:12:34,602 --> 00:12:36,969 -I'm not touching that. -Me either. 333 00:12:41,876 --> 00:12:44,076 Murr, get worried. 334 00:12:44,211 --> 00:12:46,679 [ laughter ] 335 00:12:46,814 --> 00:12:48,347 Are you saying my wife knows that? 336 00:12:48,483 --> 00:12:50,215 Woman: Probably. 337 00:12:50,217 --> 00:12:51,617 What's the point of tracking, I ask you? 338 00:12:51,752 --> 00:12:53,686 I use it for the cats, so if they get out... 339 00:12:53,821 --> 00:12:55,621 -I use it for my dog. -Yeah. 340 00:12:55,756 --> 00:12:57,823 I don't use it for people. 341 00:12:57,825 --> 00:12:59,892 [ laughter ] 342 00:13:00,027 --> 00:13:01,294 -Wow. -We should just move on. 343 00:13:01,429 --> 00:13:02,962 -Okay. -Yes, we should. 344 00:13:02,964 --> 00:13:04,163 [ laughing ] the next one! 345 00:13:04,299 --> 00:13:05,430 Murr: I have one more. 346 00:13:05,432 --> 00:13:08,101 -Alright. -I did linen napkins. 347 00:13:08,235 --> 00:13:10,269 So, as a... 348 00:13:11,506 --> 00:13:12,838 Q: Are you bailing? 349 00:13:12,974 --> 00:13:15,108 Are you just taking a straight up thumbs-down? 350 00:13:17,878 --> 00:13:19,278 Sal: [ laughing ] the next one! 351 00:13:19,413 --> 00:13:21,746 I did linen napkins. 352 00:13:21,748 --> 00:13:23,716 So, uh, as a... 353 00:13:25,085 --> 00:13:28,787 [ laughter ] 354 00:13:30,691 --> 00:13:31,756 [ chuckling ] I... 355 00:13:31,758 --> 00:13:33,091 Q: That's a laugh. 356 00:13:33,226 --> 00:13:34,760 [ laughing ] I did linen napkins. 357 00:13:34,895 --> 00:13:36,495 That's two laughs, dude. 358 00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:38,097 Come on, james. Spit it out. 359 00:13:38,231 --> 00:13:40,431 Linen napkins. The... 360 00:13:40,433 --> 00:13:42,834 [ chuckling ] the review I posted... 361 00:13:42,970 --> 00:13:45,570 I posted this review. [ chuckles ] 362 00:13:45,706 --> 00:13:47,706 [ laughing ] "for me, 363 00:13:47,841 --> 00:13:50,575 As a black man in my 40s. 364 00:13:50,577 --> 00:13:52,911 I need a nice set of linen napkins, 365 00:13:53,046 --> 00:13:55,580 And these do the trick," is what I posted. 366 00:13:55,716 --> 00:13:58,449 [ laughter ] 367 00:13:58,451 --> 00:13:59,851 Very interesting. 368 00:13:59,987 --> 00:14:02,053 When we posted these things, I thought it was like anonymous. 369 00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:04,056 I didn't think I'd actually read it. 370 00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:11,062 Next? [ laughter ] 371 00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:12,664 I certainly learned a lot today. 372 00:14:12,666 --> 00:14:13,932 So have I. 373 00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:15,934 [ laughter ] 374 00:14:16,069 --> 00:14:17,936 [ buzzer ] brutal. 375 00:14:19,072 --> 00:14:20,806 Narrator: The reviews are in, 376 00:14:20,941 --> 00:14:23,742 And it looks like murr is tonight's big loser. 377 00:14:25,346 --> 00:14:26,945 You guys good? You need anything at all? 378 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,547 Sal: So, we're here at delmonico's steakhouse 379 00:14:28,682 --> 00:14:29,748 For murr's punishment. 380 00:14:29,883 --> 00:14:31,616 Q: As you can see, it is already in motion. 381 00:14:31,618 --> 00:14:33,418 Normally we do introductions on punishments, 382 00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:34,886 But we needed him to work. 383 00:14:34,888 --> 00:14:36,087 Are we going to start this? 384 00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,088 You haven't told me what I'm doing yet. 385 00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:38,690 All I can tell you, buddy, 386 00:14:38,692 --> 00:14:40,359 Is that the moment will present itself. 387 00:14:40,493 --> 00:14:42,694 And you will know what it is when it begins. 388 00:14:42,696 --> 00:14:44,629 That's so vague. Come on, guys. 389 00:14:44,765 --> 00:14:46,698 Murr, walk over to a table and just be like, 390 00:14:46,833 --> 00:14:50,168 "hey, friends, I'm toots and I'm a chocoholic." 391 00:14:50,303 --> 00:14:51,903 So stupid. 392 00:14:51,905 --> 00:14:54,906 It's gonna bring me so much joy hearing you say it. 393 00:14:55,042 --> 00:14:58,643 Hi, guys. My name is toots. How are you? 394 00:14:58,645 --> 00:15:01,512 Yes. Welcome to delmonico's. Your first time? 395 00:15:01,514 --> 00:15:03,648 Woman: Yes. Oh, my gosh, you're in for a treat. 396 00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:05,517 Q: "hey, did I mention I'm a chocoholic?" 397 00:15:05,652 --> 00:15:07,452 Did I mention I'm a chocoholic? 398 00:15:07,454 --> 00:15:10,321 -No! -I am, I really am. 399 00:15:10,457 --> 00:15:13,324 My wife tells me I'm getting fat with all the chocolate I eat, 400 00:15:13,326 --> 00:15:14,659 But I ain't stopping. 401 00:15:14,795 --> 00:15:16,795 "she started to call me 'tits.'" 402 00:15:16,930 --> 00:15:19,931 She, uh... She's, you know... 403 00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:23,602 She went from calling me "toots" to "tits," you know? 404 00:15:23,737 --> 00:15:26,004 Yeah. You know. 405 00:15:26,139 --> 00:15:27,406 If you have any questions about the menu tonight, 406 00:15:27,540 --> 00:15:29,007 Just come find me -- toots, okay? 407 00:15:29,142 --> 00:15:30,876 -Thank you. -You're welcome. Thanks, stripes. 408 00:15:31,011 --> 00:15:32,477 [ laughter ] 409 00:15:32,613 --> 00:15:34,679 He's leaving a wake of confusion. 410 00:15:34,815 --> 00:15:36,014 -Is this the punishment? -No! 411 00:15:36,149 --> 00:15:38,349 Wait, this is not the punishment? 412 00:15:38,351 --> 00:15:41,086 This is not it, but this is a joy. 413 00:15:41,221 --> 00:15:42,621 Murr, give a table some hot goss. 414 00:15:42,756 --> 00:15:44,689 Like give them a heads-up, michael bolton may be coming in. 415 00:15:44,691 --> 00:15:45,957 I just wanted to let you know 416 00:15:46,093 --> 00:15:48,827 Michael bolton is coming by in a little while. 417 00:15:48,962 --> 00:15:49,862 Michael bolton. 418 00:15:51,965 --> 00:15:53,765 -The famous singer. -Refresh my memory. 419 00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:56,367 ♪ I could hardly believe it ♪ you know him, right? 420 00:15:56,369 --> 00:15:58,303 You know, I can hardly believe that he's coming. 421 00:15:58,439 --> 00:15:59,971 Anyways, carry on. 422 00:15:59,973 --> 00:16:04,175 I'd love you to go up behind her and just start singing again. 423 00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,044 [ speaking indistinctly ] 424 00:16:06,179 --> 00:16:07,912 ♪ I could hardly believe it ♪ 425 00:16:07,914 --> 00:16:10,315 Michael bolton. He's gonna be here soon. 426 00:16:10,451 --> 00:16:12,183 He's going to be here soon. 427 00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:14,353 Soon, like 20 minutes, he'll be here. 428 00:16:17,658 --> 00:16:21,026 Murr, I'd love to see you sing behind her one more time. 429 00:16:22,930 --> 00:16:25,063 ♪ I could hardly believe it ♪ [ gasps ] 430 00:16:25,198 --> 00:16:27,398 [ laughter ] 431 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,269 It just never gets old. 432 00:16:30,403 --> 00:16:32,203 Gentlemen, anything else today, or you're all set? 433 00:16:32,205 --> 00:16:34,005 Oh, sorry. Okay. Very good. 434 00:16:34,007 --> 00:16:35,073 -Oh, you like the bill? -Yes. 435 00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:36,074 Let me get it for you. One second. 436 00:16:36,209 --> 00:16:38,009 -So, murr... -Murr-man! 437 00:16:38,011 --> 00:16:40,078 -Yeah? -What did they ask for? 438 00:16:40,213 --> 00:16:41,546 They asked for the check. 439 00:16:41,548 --> 00:16:45,083 And thus it has begun. Your punishment starts now. 440 00:16:45,218 --> 00:16:48,019 My friend, you may never deliver that check -- 441 00:16:48,021 --> 00:16:49,821 To them or anybody. 442 00:16:49,823 --> 00:16:51,222 [ laughter ] 443 00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:52,891 Sal: You, under any circumstances, 444 00:16:53,026 --> 00:16:55,961 Cannot deliver a check to any table. 445 00:16:56,096 --> 00:16:58,363 Ohh. Oh, no. 446 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:02,367 The goal here is riot. [ laughs ] 447 00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:03,835 Here we go. 448 00:17:05,506 --> 00:17:07,105 Murr: Oh. Oh, you need the bill? 449 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:09,508 Oh, sure. Let me get it for you. One second. 450 00:17:09,642 --> 00:17:11,242 I'll go get the bill. I'll get it right there. 451 00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:12,577 -One second. -Oh, [bleep]. 452 00:17:12,713 --> 00:17:14,245 Oh, he's already trying to give you the card. 453 00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:17,182 They're already annoyed. Yeah. Oh, no. 454 00:17:17,184 --> 00:17:19,851 Murr, the guy's looking at his watch and looking at you. 455 00:17:19,986 --> 00:17:21,586 No, he's not. 456 00:17:21,588 --> 00:17:23,188 I swear to god, he just did that. You don't understand. 457 00:17:23,190 --> 00:17:25,857 I feel the tension in the air from him. 458 00:17:25,859 --> 00:17:28,659 This is a lunch break on a work day. 459 00:17:28,661 --> 00:17:30,929 People are going to need to get their check. 460 00:17:31,064 --> 00:17:33,131 Go by and drop it and then go, 461 00:17:33,266 --> 00:17:35,934 "I'm not sure if we take amex, but I will check right now." 462 00:17:36,069 --> 00:17:38,069 But then leave their card on the table and walk away. 463 00:17:38,205 --> 00:17:40,605 Oh, god. 464 00:17:40,607 --> 00:17:42,407 God. God. 465 00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:44,009 Oh, my god. 466 00:17:44,144 --> 00:17:46,011 I'm not certain if we take amex. 467 00:17:46,146 --> 00:17:47,946 Let me go check. One second. 468 00:17:48,081 --> 00:17:49,147 Yeah. Let me check on you. 469 00:17:49,282 --> 00:17:50,481 Oh, god. 470 00:17:50,483 --> 00:17:52,683 Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god, oh, god. 471 00:17:52,685 --> 00:17:54,085 You don't understand. 472 00:17:54,087 --> 00:17:55,620 He's getting up. He's getting up! 473 00:17:55,622 --> 00:17:57,088 No, he's not. No, he's not. 474 00:17:57,224 --> 00:17:58,623 He's walking! Oh, my god. 475 00:17:58,759 --> 00:18:01,059 Oh-ho-ho! Oh! 476 00:18:04,764 --> 00:18:05,696 Sal: "I'm not sure if we take amex, 477 00:18:05,831 --> 00:18:06,964 But I will check right now." 478 00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:08,966 I'm not certain if we take amex. 479 00:18:08,968 --> 00:18:10,768 Let me go check. One second. 480 00:18:10,904 --> 00:18:12,970 Yeah. Let me check on you. 481 00:18:13,106 --> 00:18:14,838 He's getting up. He's getting up! 482 00:18:14,974 --> 00:18:16,507 No, he's not. No, he's not. 483 00:18:16,642 --> 00:18:18,375 He's walking! Oh, my god. 484 00:18:18,377 --> 00:18:19,977 Oh-ho-ho! 485 00:18:19,979 --> 00:18:22,045 Man: I've been here a hundred times. 486 00:18:22,047 --> 00:18:23,380 Oh, well, thank you for coming back. 487 00:18:23,382 --> 00:18:25,649 Dude. [bleep] "I know you're in a rush." 488 00:18:25,651 --> 00:18:27,184 So you definitely take amex. 489 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,653 Unless there's a -- I just checked. 490 00:18:29,655 --> 00:18:31,055 I just checked, and we do, actually. 491 00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:32,390 Yes, I know. 492 00:18:33,459 --> 00:18:34,926 I'll tell you what. I'm gonna run this -- 493 00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:36,660 Oh, okay. Okay. I'm gonna -- 494 00:18:36,796 --> 00:18:38,195 I'm gonna run this card, and then I'll bring you guys... 495 00:18:38,331 --> 00:18:39,530 You want some bread on the house? 496 00:18:39,665 --> 00:18:40,664 Some bread? You want some bread? 497 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,800 Okay. It's complimentary. 498 00:18:42,802 --> 00:18:44,868 [ q groaning ] 499 00:18:45,004 --> 00:18:46,537 I don't have the guts for this. 500 00:18:46,672 --> 00:18:49,073 Okay. Oh, my god. What's the play here, guys? 501 00:18:49,208 --> 00:18:50,741 Sal: I'll tell you what the play is. 502 00:18:50,876 --> 00:18:52,075 You're gonna eat a bowl of creamed spinach 503 00:18:52,077 --> 00:18:53,677 In his eyesight right now. 504 00:18:53,679 --> 00:18:56,747 [ q shouting, laughing ] 505 00:18:56,882 --> 00:18:59,483 Oh, my god. You don't understand. 506 00:18:59,619 --> 00:19:02,620 He's ready to kill me. We understand. 507 00:19:02,622 --> 00:19:04,355 This is what we intended. 508 00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:06,290 Oh, my god. 509 00:19:06,425 --> 00:19:08,292 [ laughter ] 510 00:19:08,427 --> 00:19:10,628 Oh, my god. 511 00:19:10,630 --> 00:19:13,264 Oh, they're looking at you. They're looking for you, bud. 512 00:19:17,103 --> 00:19:20,571 Oh, yes. Yes yes, yes. 513 00:19:20,706 --> 00:19:21,973 He can't believe it. 514 00:19:22,108 --> 00:19:23,707 Oh, [bleep]. 515 00:19:23,843 --> 00:19:25,309 Murr, for the love of god, just drop the check, man. 516 00:19:25,444 --> 00:19:27,578 I'm starting to get too tense back here. 517 00:19:27,713 --> 00:19:29,881 Fellas, I am sorry the food took so long. 518 00:19:32,452 --> 00:19:34,318 It was the -- oh, it was the -- 519 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,720 [ laughter ] 520 00:19:36,856 --> 00:19:38,122 Murr: Hi. 521 00:19:38,257 --> 00:19:39,323 What's that? 522 00:19:39,458 --> 00:19:40,724 The check, please? Yeah, sure, sure, sure. 523 00:19:40,726 --> 00:19:43,127 Grab a pile of those checkbooks. 524 00:19:43,262 --> 00:19:44,528 And then I want you to walk over to the couple 525 00:19:44,664 --> 00:19:46,798 And then have a wacky drop. 526 00:19:46,932 --> 00:19:48,265 Make them go everywhere. 527 00:19:48,401 --> 00:19:51,202 When it drops on the floor, be like, "jesus penis!" 528 00:19:51,337 --> 00:19:53,671 Here we go, here we go. 529 00:19:53,673 --> 00:19:55,873 Jesus penis! 530 00:19:56,009 --> 00:19:58,075 Sorry. One second. 531 00:19:58,077 --> 00:20:01,078 What did I do? Oh, [bleep] penis. 532 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,815 Just compare them to the receipts. 533 00:20:08,954 --> 00:20:10,754 No rush. You can stay as long as you like. 534 00:20:10,890 --> 00:20:12,823 There's no rush on our part. Okay? 535 00:20:12,958 --> 00:20:14,692 Alright, murr, if you scare her one more time, 536 00:20:14,694 --> 00:20:15,759 We'll let you give them the bill. 537 00:20:15,761 --> 00:20:17,228 From behind. Yeah, yeah. 538 00:20:17,363 --> 00:20:19,363 He's doing it. He's doing it. 539 00:20:19,365 --> 00:20:21,098 ♪ I could hardly believe it ♪ 540 00:20:21,234 --> 00:20:23,167 [ laughter ] 541 00:20:28,173 --> 00:20:32,309 [ laughter continues ] 542 00:20:32,311 --> 00:20:34,778 I'm crying. I'm crying. 543 00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:35,913 Oh, wait, wait, wait. 544 00:20:36,049 --> 00:20:37,581 What are they doing? What are they doing? 545 00:20:37,583 --> 00:20:39,050 She's signing a bill. Go swoop the bill up. 546 00:20:39,184 --> 00:20:40,718 Tell them there was a mistake. 547 00:20:40,853 --> 00:20:42,786 You wanted to take some stuff off of it. 548 00:20:42,788 --> 00:20:43,921 My apologies. 549 00:20:44,057 --> 00:20:45,789 I think we gave you the wrong one. 550 00:20:45,791 --> 00:20:47,324 This is the wrong table. Give me one second. 551 00:20:47,326 --> 00:20:48,459 Let me get the right one. 552 00:20:48,594 --> 00:20:49,793 Alright, murr? Yeah. 553 00:20:49,795 --> 00:20:51,662 Make a bill that's double the price. 554 00:20:51,797 --> 00:20:53,931 Alright, ladies, I took the desserts off. 555 00:20:53,933 --> 00:20:55,666 Here's the correct one. Here we go. 556 00:20:55,801 --> 00:21:02,606 It's double the price. 557 00:21:02,608 --> 00:21:03,975 [ laughing ] 558 00:21:06,345 --> 00:21:08,079 Yeah. 559 00:21:08,214 --> 00:21:09,146 What do you mean? 560 00:21:09,282 --> 00:21:10,481 We both had filet. None of this. 561 00:21:10,616 --> 00:21:11,949 I took the filet off. 562 00:21:12,085 --> 00:21:15,819 Yes, but you added $250 worth of beef on there. 563 00:21:15,821 --> 00:21:16,887 Sal: "oh, [bleep] penis." 564 00:21:17,022 --> 00:21:21,292 Oh, [bleep] penis. Did I do that? 565 00:21:21,427 --> 00:21:23,026 You know what it was? 566 00:21:23,028 --> 00:21:24,562 I took everything else off that you had, 567 00:21:24,697 --> 00:21:27,030 And then I added all this stuff on. 568 00:21:27,032 --> 00:21:29,700 [ laughter ] 569 00:21:29,835 --> 00:21:31,568 Three cod. Four lamb chops. 570 00:21:31,570 --> 00:21:34,171 One porterhouse, one filet, one bone-in rib eye. 571 00:21:34,173 --> 00:21:35,973 "look me in the face and tell me 572 00:21:36,109 --> 00:21:37,441 I didn't see you eating a bone-in rib eye." 573 00:21:37,576 --> 00:21:39,310 Look me in the face 574 00:21:39,445 --> 00:21:40,911 And tell me you didn't have a bone-in rib eye. 575 00:21:41,046 --> 00:21:42,646 I did not have a bone-in anything. 576 00:21:42,782 --> 00:21:44,648 [ laughter ] 577 00:21:44,784 --> 00:21:46,984 Q: Last one, buddy. Last one. 578 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,585 How's the baked alaska? Good? 579 00:21:48,587 --> 00:21:49,853 -It was delicious. -Delicious? 580 00:21:49,989 --> 00:21:51,455 -We'll take the check. -The check? Okay. 581 00:21:51,457 --> 00:21:53,056 Very good. You got it. 582 00:21:53,058 --> 00:21:54,592 Oh, god. They're waiting for the check. 583 00:21:54,727 --> 00:21:56,393 I know you're already feeling the heat. 584 00:21:56,395 --> 00:21:58,395 We brought vr goggles for you, bud. 585 00:21:58,531 --> 00:22:00,197 I'm gonna have you put on the vr goggles 586 00:22:00,333 --> 00:22:02,199 And just be screwing around in vr 587 00:22:02,201 --> 00:22:03,867 While they're waiting for the check. 588 00:22:04,003 --> 00:22:05,803 What are you doing to me, man? 589 00:22:05,938 --> 00:22:08,872 Can we run those vr goggles out to murray? 590 00:22:09,008 --> 00:22:10,541 Them to see me like this... 591 00:22:10,676 --> 00:22:12,543 [ laughter ] 592 00:22:12,678 --> 00:22:14,411 Stupid [bleep] hat. 593 00:22:14,413 --> 00:22:16,147 [ laughter ] 594 00:22:16,282 --> 00:22:18,281 Just like, sidle up to him and just go, 595 00:22:18,283 --> 00:22:20,618 "sorry, guys. Just tallying everything up." 596 00:22:20,753 --> 00:22:22,753 So, you had one baked alaska? 597 00:22:22,888 --> 00:22:24,421 I'm just tallying it up real quick. 598 00:22:24,557 --> 00:22:25,422 -One, right? -Oh, yes. 599 00:22:25,558 --> 00:22:26,890 "we have a new system." 600 00:22:26,892 --> 00:22:30,494 It's a new system now. It's a new system. 601 00:22:30,496 --> 00:22:32,229 As he just stands over them! 602 00:22:32,231 --> 00:22:34,231 Just stand there for a good two, three minutes. 603 00:22:34,233 --> 00:22:38,369 Don't say a word. Just keep pushing buttons. 604 00:22:38,504 --> 00:22:40,771 [ laughter ] 605 00:22:42,508 --> 00:22:44,975 It's in the calculator. One second. 606 00:22:45,110 --> 00:22:47,478 Just start making the jerkoff noise with your hands. 607 00:22:49,515 --> 00:22:51,716 [ laughter ] 608 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,253 Just taking something off the bill. 609 00:22:56,255 --> 00:22:57,721 I'm going to take the appetizers off the bill. 610 00:22:57,857 --> 00:22:59,456 Okay? Murr, throw it. 611 00:22:59,592 --> 00:23:01,925 Just take an appetizer and just throw it. 612 00:23:02,061 --> 00:23:04,061 [ laughter ] 613 00:23:10,603 --> 00:23:13,170 The guy in front of you is crying! 614 00:23:15,274 --> 00:23:17,474 "and am I splitting the check, or is it just the one?" 615 00:23:17,476 --> 00:23:18,943 Are we split-- [ laughs ] 616 00:23:21,347 --> 00:23:22,746 Are you guys splitting the check 617 00:23:22,748 --> 00:23:24,415 Or is it all on one bill? 618 00:23:24,550 --> 00:23:26,684 'cause splitting the check is gonna take a lot longer. 619 00:23:26,819 --> 00:23:28,151 Yeah, let's split the check. 620 00:23:28,153 --> 00:23:29,753 Then karate chop down the middle. 621 00:23:29,755 --> 00:23:30,888 Karate chop! 622 00:23:30,890 --> 00:23:32,022 -Split it? -Yeah. Make it easy. 623 00:23:32,157 --> 00:23:33,291 Hi-yah! 624 00:23:38,163 --> 00:23:41,432 That's it, murr. That's it. 625 00:23:41,567 --> 00:23:44,501 Just into menus... Looking at a menu! 626 00:23:44,503 --> 00:23:46,503 Look, everyone's looking at you in the whole place. 627 00:23:46,505 --> 00:23:49,106 Yeah, unbutton the shirt and squeeze the boobs. 628 00:23:50,109 --> 00:23:52,076 [ laughter ] 629 00:23:54,313 --> 00:23:57,314 I'm done. I'm done. 630 00:23:57,316 --> 00:24:00,251 [ laughter ]