1
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,274
[ laughter ]
2
00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:12,244
[ screaming ]
3
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:15,480
Let's just get this started.
4
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,215
Are you [bleep] kidding me?
5
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:18,350
Who's a good cat?
6
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,786
[ laughter ]
7
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,223
[ chuckles ]
8
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:28,493
[ laughter ]
9
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,029
Mangia! Today we're playing
restaurant owners
10
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,697
At john's pizzeria
in times square.
11
00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:34,499
But here's
where things get goomah.
12
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,434
While chatting up customers,
we'll have to do
13
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,770
And say whatever
those other paisanos tell us.
14
00:00:38,773 --> 00:00:41,974
And if you refuse,
it's arrivederci!
15
00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:44,176
[ italian accent ]
a calamari!
16
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,578
Mafia.
[ chuckles ]
17
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,984
Q: All right, murr-man.
What are you guys thinking?
18
00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:53,518
We're getting glasses
for you.
19
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:54,853
Remember --
you're the owner.
20
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,054
You're not a waiter.
You're the owner.
21
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:57,389
I'm the owner,
so if you guys need anything,
22
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,457
Just let me know, okay? I'll get
that taken care of, too.
23
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:00,458
It's me, john.
24
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:02,194
[ laughs ]
all right, murray.
25
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,796
Put your hand on the father's
back while you talk to them.
26
00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:06,264
And do not take your hand
off his back.
27
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:07,932
What, um...
28
00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:09,868
What, uh -- how'd you guys get
the tickets for the show?
29
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:10,935
His lower back.
30
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:12,004
...Richard rodgers theatre...
31
00:01:12,006 --> 00:01:14,473
Oh, my god.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
32
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,341
[ q and sal laugh ]
yeah, yeah.
33
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:17,409
That's great. That's great.
34
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,911
Slide that hand down.
35
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:22,080
Q: His hand's through the chair.
36
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,216
That's great, that's great.
And, um...
37
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:25,217
And what, uh...
38
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:26,685
[ laughing ]
look at his face.
39
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,620
Did you get a discount? Were
they discounted tickets or...
40
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:29,822
Okay, great.
If you need
41
00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:31,824
Any other recommendations
for restaurants,
42
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:33,358
Anything like that,
just let me know.
43
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,827
I'll take care of it.
All right, murr.
Get it off him.
44
00:01:35,029 --> 00:01:36,228
Let me get that yuengling,
sir.
45
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:38,897
[ q and sal laugh ]
46
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:40,899
Can you do the back
of his neck while you talk?
47
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,502
Okay! Here we go!
Your yuengling.
48
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:45,970
There we go.
Oh!
49
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:47,906
There we go.
Anything else you guys need?
50
00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:49,441
You're good?
You guys need anything else,
51
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,043
Okay, my name's john mamio.
Oh!
52
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:52,644
Okay. Great. One second.
Let me just...
53
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,180
Look. Hey, look.
The dad's creeped out.
54
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:56,315
Dude.
55
00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:59,284
[ q and sal laugh ]
56
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,255
Welcome to john's pizzeria.
I am john.
57
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:05,790
"also, fellas,
in honor of pride month..."
58
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,992
[ laughs ]
59
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:09,862
So I [laughs]
60
00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:12,130
So, fellas, I do.
I gotta tell you --
61
00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:13,998
In honor of pride month...
62
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:14,867
"we're running a discount."
63
00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:16,134
...We are running a discount.
64
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,135
"but..."
65
00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:18,336
But...
66
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:19,337
"you gotta prove it."
67
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:20,805
[ laughs ]
68
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,006
...You gotta prove it.
69
00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:25,144
[ q and sal laugh ]
70
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,547
Okay?
71
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,482
"and you want those
at the full price?"
72
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,350
And you want those...
73
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:35,254
And you want those
at the full price or...
74
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:37,956
You want it
at the straight price.
75
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,024
[ q and sal laugh ]
76
00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:41,159
"we don't have to do it
out here.
77
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:42,360
I have an office."
78
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:43,896
[ both laugh ]
79
00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:45,363
You don't got to do it here.
80
00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:46,698
I have an office.
81
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,767
[ laughs ]
82
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:50,369
[ q and sal laugh ]
83
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,439
Kate's coming down the stairs
right now to give you something.
84
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,040
Just -- just take that
from her.
85
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,509
Okay. What is this?
86
00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,043
Don't worry about it.
They're little capsules.
87
00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:00,845
Just hold on to them
for the moment.
Okay. Okay.
88
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,714
All right, murr, so you see
the table right near the bottom
89
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,316
Of the stairs there?
Yeah.
90
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,184
Well, I want you to drop
something, anything.
Okay.
91
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:07,319
On the way up,
hit your head.
92
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,721
And those capsules are
blood capsules.
93
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:13,257
So I want you to come up
wounded and woozy.
Here we go.
94
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:15,259
And let's see
where it goes from there, john.
95
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:16,528
You guys good?
You need anything?
96
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,264
Oh, jesus! I'm so sorry.
Give me one second.
97
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:20,665
Let me -- I got it, I got it,
I got it, I got it.
98
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,734
I got it, I got it,
I got it, I got it. I got it.
99
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,202
[ thud ]
ow, ow! Ooh, ooh!
100
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,671
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
101
00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:27,939
Do you guys, uh --
do you need anything?
102
00:03:27,942 --> 00:03:29,808
Are you okay?
103
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,810
My nose is bleeding?
104
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,612
Oh, oh! Oh, my god.
105
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:34,946
Guys, my name is john.
106
00:03:34,949 --> 00:03:37,749
My father and I own the place.
107
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,551
[ q and sal laugh ]
108
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,820
I don't -- I think I'm okay.
109
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,287
Dad? Are you...
110
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,623
[ q and sal laugh ]
111
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,425
Forgive me.
Something happened. I just...
112
00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:48,860
What happened?
113
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,095
"again?!"
114
00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:52,297
I hit it my head again?
115
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,566
"I want a -- I want
a hawaiian slice, please."
116
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,835
I'll have one hawaiian slice,
please.
117
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:59,304
I'll have one hawaiian slice.
Do you have a yuengling?
118
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,439
"I'm gonna give
myself 15% off."
119
00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:04,042
I'm gonna give myself
15% off.
Sir, you sit down.
120
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,110
[ q and sal laugh ]
121
00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:07,445
I don't know what's really --
no, just through your noise.
There.
122
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:09,381
Okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay.
Okay? Hold that. Hold that.
123
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,915
Is that for me?
Hold that.
124
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,250
-I have some ice for you.
-"kate, you're fired."
125
00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:15,520
Kate, you're fired.
I'll have one large pie, please.
126
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:16,721
I'll have pineapple.
127
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,456
Fire the guy.
You're fired.
128
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,792
You're fired. You have to go.
You're fired.
129
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:21,860
Ask him
if he's the owner now.
130
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:22,995
Are you the owner now?
131
00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:24,196
Say, "I'm fired?"
132
00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:25,930
I'm fired?! I'm fired?!
133
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,599
Okay. I'll leave.
134
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,867
[ both laughing ]
135
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,202
I'm john?
136
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:32,336
I'm john.
"papa john?"
137
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:34,339
Papa john?
Welcome to papa johns.
138
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:35,874
May I take your order?
139
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:38,142
[ both laugh ]
140
00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:39,411
You're fired, kate.
Get out of here.
141
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,812
"kate, you're the owner."
142
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,947
Kate, you're the owner
of the restaurant now.
143
00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:44,348
Kate, you're john.
"I need off tomorrow."
144
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:45,950
I need off, kate.
I need off tomorrow.
145
00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:47,819
Kate, I'm putting in
my two weeks notice.
146
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:48,887
[ ding! ]
147
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,889
[ q and sal laugh ]
148
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,157
Q: Sal,
you know the italian signal for,
149
00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:54,959
Like, "get out of here,
150
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,294
You're garbage"?
151
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,229
Oh. This gesture?
152
00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:58,897
There you go.
Murr: Yeah. Yeah.
153
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,765
Yeah.
I want you to use it a lot
and make it a positive.
154
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:02,234
You don't understand --
155
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:03,501
You don't understand
what it's for.
156
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:05,169
Ooh! Ooh-hoo!
157
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:06,838
Can I get you another round
of drinks or anything?
158
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,372
We're off to the theater
tonight, so...
159
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,441
What are you going to see?
160
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:10,708
"the lion king."
161
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:11,976
Oh, my god,
that's a great show!
162
00:05:12,178 --> 00:05:13,978
Is it?
[ both laugh ]
163
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,313
Yeah, you're gonna have
the best time in the world.
164
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:18,182
Well, you have a lovely family.
God bless.
165
00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:19,317
Yeah. Thank you.
166
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,585
[ murr laughs ]
167
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:22,987
If you have an airpod, buddy,
put one in your ear
168
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,656
And I want you to have
two dual conversations --
169
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,725
One with the table and one
an angry conversation with,
170
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,461
You know, your delivery guy.
171
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:30,328
Okay?
172
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:31,663
[ both laugh ]
173
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,997
Hey, guys. How are you?
174
00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:34,732
Just coming over to
make sure everything's okay.
175
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,534
I see you just got seated. Did
anyone take your order yet?
176
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:39,137
Yes.
Okay. Have you been here before?
177
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,605
Are you [bleep] kidding me?
178
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:42,073
Get the [bleep] out of here.
Mm-hmm.
179
00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:44,076
No, no. I'm sorry.
I'm talking to my produce guy.
Okay.
180
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:47,078
[ murr and q laugh ]
181
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:49,013
You have any questions
about the, uh -- the menu,
182
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,014
Just let me know.
Great. Thank you.
183
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:51,616
Thank you.
Murr: Approach that table.
184
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:53,217
You're having
two conversations.
185
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,153
Hi, all. How are you tonight?
Good. Thanks.
186
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,955
Just, I'm john, the owner.
Oh, hi.
187
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,624
Do you need any recommendations
or anything?
188
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,693
Yeah? No.
189
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,828
That's [bleep] gross.
190
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,497
[ murr and q laugh ]
um, no.
191
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,231
No, I don't want half-eaten.
192
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:08,500
No, I don't care
if it's a discount. I'm sorry.
193
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,769
I'm talking to my produce guy.
194
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,370
"I will break your fingers."
195
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,838
Some pastas here.
196
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,039
If you've never tried
the pastas...
Woman: Okay.
197
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,841
I will break
your [bleep] fingers
198
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:19,243
If you do not get this here
on time.
199
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:21,112
Sorry, sorry. My produce guy.
That's all right.
200
00:06:21,115 --> 00:06:23,781
Uh, yeah. So that's...
201
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,784
Okay. All right. Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Yeah.
202
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:26,985
Okay.
203
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:28,320
Murr: "let's just join
in a little prayer."
204
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:29,854
And then, you know,
just before, we always start --
205
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:31,523
I always just start with,
"our heavenly father,
206
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,725
Thank you for the bounty
that we're receiving tonight."
207
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,059
"I'm trying to pray here!"
208
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,460
I'm trying to [bleep] pray
right now.
209
00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:38,196
Can you give me a second,
please?
210
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,198
Uh, thank you for the pizzas,
pastas, light apps,
211
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,666
Desserts, and snacks.
Thank you.
212
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:42,867
-Thank you.
-Thank you so much.
213
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,369
[ murr and q laugh ]
214
00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:48,406
[ murr and q laugh ]
215
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,809
I have to go hide right now
because...
216
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,345
[ both laugh ]
217
00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:55,413
You see the two women there?
218
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,881
Can you sneak up in the booth
behind them
219
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,418
And pop up and say,
"you guys need anything?"
good luck.
220
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:04,222
You got it. You can't see him.
They have not spotted you.
221
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:06,490
You're in.
222
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:07,625
Is there anything
that I can get you guys?
223
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,127
[ murr and q laugh ]
224
00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:14,032
Okay. I'm john, the owner, so...
225
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,368
"if you need me,
just whisper my name.
226
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,036
I'm always listening."
227
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:19,437
If you need me,
just whisper my name.
228
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,772
I'm always listening.
229
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,106
Okay. Bye.
230
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,908
[ murr and q laugh ]
231
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:25,243
Pop back up.
Be like, "wait, what?
232
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,245
Did you ask for john?"
233
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,714
You said "john" right now?
You said "john"?
234
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:30,915
Okay.
235
00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:32,117
[ murr and q laugh ]
236
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:36,654
Yeah, sal, grab a handful
of loose ice cubes.
237
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:38,256
[ murr and q laugh ]
238
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:39,391
And then I want you
to go around, like -- you know,
239
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:40,925
Top off people's drinks.
240
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:42,526
Just to refresh
those drinks
241
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:43,461
For you guys.
Thank you.
242
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:44,863
-Thank you.
-Appreciate it.
243
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,465
[ murr and q laugh ]
244
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,533
Hurry, shuffle over to them,
and be like,
245
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:52,003
"did you say john?
Did you say john?"
246
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:54,338
Did you say john?
247
00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:56,941
Yes? Yes, yes, sure. Yeah.
Thank you.
248
00:07:56,943 --> 00:08:00,344
Carry the cups over with your
hands on the inside of the cups.
249
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:01,613
[ laughing ] yeah.
250
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,215
Yeah,
do a little pirouette
251
00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:04,282
And skip away.
252
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,950
[ murr and q laugh ]
253
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,219
Here he comes, here he comes.
254
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:08,620
There you go!
255
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:09,553
Thank you.
256
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:10,755
[ laughs ] thank you.
257
00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,257
[ murr and q laugh ]
258
00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:17,229
[ ding! ]
259
00:08:17,431 --> 00:08:18,562
Murr: Okay.
All right, buddy.
260
00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:19,631
Q, grab a plate
of cannolis.
261
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,165
Okay?
262
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:22,767
I got
some beautiful cannolis.
263
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:24,636
Sal: So go up to a table
264
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,238
And say that you guys have
a really fun game you play here.
265
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,106
If they can guess
your age correctly,
266
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,108
You'll suck the cream
out of the cannoli.
267
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,509
Hey, guys.
How's everything going today?
268
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:32,844
You have -- you got
your order in?
269
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,446
You already ate?
270
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:36,448
Oh, great. Uh, I'm john.
271
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,182
This is my place.
272
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,517
We play a game where,
if, um,
273
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,786
You can correctly guess
my age,
274
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:44,388
I will,
without using my hands,
275
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,591
Suck the cannoli cream
out of this thing.
276
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,259
It's a fun little game
we play.
277
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:49,528
Anybody want to take a guess?
278
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:51,863
"correct."
279
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,397
40. Correct. Yeah.
280
00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:55,133
Okay, buddy. Go ahead.
281
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,102
[ murr and sal laugh ]
282
00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:01,639
Q:
It's a fun little game we play.
283
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,107
Anybody want to take
a guess?
284
00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:05,376
"correct."
285
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:07,244
40. Correct. Yeah.
286
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,046
Murr: [ laughs ]
287
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:10,448
Without using your hands.
288
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:12,984
[ laughs ]
289
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,453
Here we go.
290
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:16,920
[ muffled ] oh.
All right. That's okay.
291
00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:18,656
Sal: Did that go through?
Did he get it?
292
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:22,126
Okay. "now, can you guess
what month I was born in?
293
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,861
'cause I have
the second cannoli."
294
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,396
We don't let
anything go to waste here.
295
00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:28,332
Can you guess the month
that I was born in?
296
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:29,266
"correct."
297
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,534
September. That's correct.
298
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:32,837
40 years ago, in September,
I was born.
299
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,206
Oh, oh.
300
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,874
[ murr and sal laugh ]
301
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:40,277
♪♪
302
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,479
[ laughs ]
303
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:46,083
♪♪
304
00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:47,819
[ murr and sal laugh ]
305
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,621
I mean,
this is a fun thing we do here.
306
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:52,423
"and can you guess the day
of the week I was born on?"
307
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:55,026
Just for fun, what day
of the week was I born on?
308
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,027
"correct."
309
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:58,496
Correct. [ sighs ]
310
00:09:58,498 --> 00:09:59,430
Oh, oh.
311
00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:01,365
[ murr and sal laugh ]
312
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:03,701
♪♪
313
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:04,969
Mm-hmm.
314
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:06,370
[ murr and sal laugh ]
315
00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:08,772
Well, I'm glad you guys enjoyed
the pizza.
316
00:10:08,974 --> 00:10:10,642
I'm john, if you guys need
anything at all.
317
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:12,376
Thank you very much.
Man: Thank you.
318
00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:13,911
Oh, my god,
my sugar's spiking.
319
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,646
That was a lot
of cannoli cream.
320
00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:17,048
You guys got everything
you need?
321
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,516
Everybody came over and
got your drinks and everything?
322
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:19,517
You're not -- you're good?
Yeah.
323
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:20,718
Dan cast, head in.
324
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,319
Recognize q
as your old friend.
325
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,788
And, q, european kiss him
on both cheeks
326
00:10:24,990 --> 00:10:25,923
And don't stop.
327
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:29,460
Hey, paisan!
328
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,594
How are you?
329
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,664
[ laughs ]
330
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,798
How you doing?
That's it, buddy. That's it.
331
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,133
Have a whole conversation.
332
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,669
How you doing, buddy? Mwah.
Dan: Good, buddy.
333
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,337
How you been? Yeah.
Out on the street?
334
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:40,672
It's been too long...Since
you've been in here...
Yeah, yeah.
335
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,806
...Having...Some del--
you lost all that weight.
336
00:10:43,008 --> 00:10:44,542
You don't come for no...Pizza
mnh-mnh. No more.
337
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,210
I got...Some great cannoli.
Mm-hmm.
338
00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:48,012
And I said to myself,
"where's danny?"
339
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:49,813
And now here you are.
You're now here.
340
00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:52,350
On one of the...Busiest days
of the year...
341
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,418
You show up.
342
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,687
Say "hi" to your mother for me.
343
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,288
I will.
344
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,090
Don't be a stranger,
danny boy.
345
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,624
Get out of here.
Get out of here.
346
00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:01,692
Get out of here!
347
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,561
[ ding! ]
348
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,897
Narrator:
Murr, q, and sal served up wins,
349
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,199
So they're safe
from the loser board.
350
00:11:09,368 --> 00:11:10,501
Today we're working
the register
351
00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:12,570
At tompkins square bagels.
352
00:11:12,772 --> 00:11:14,238
But what we're really doing
is searching for the customer
353
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,640
That left us
that awful one-star review.
354
00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:18,642
Of course,
we'll never find them,
355
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:21,045
Because that scathing review has
been written by the other guys.
356
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:22,846
At the end, we'll ask the
customer if they'd be willing
357
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,648
To help us by leaving
a positive review.
358
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,284
If they refuse, you lose.
359
00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:30,922
Everything in the shelves,
right?
360
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,724
The two shelves here
are pastries.
361
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:33,857
You got 1, 2, 3, 4,
5, 6.
362
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:36,660
Maybe...30 cookies
363
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:38,529
And chocolate cakes
and lemon whatever.
364
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,530
I see it all.
365
00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:41,198
Could you eat all this
in one day
366
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,866
If someone was gonna pay you
10 million bucks?
367
00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:44,936
All of it in one day
without throwing up?
368
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,671
Yes, without a doubt.
Without a doubt.
369
00:11:47,673 --> 00:11:48,940
You don't know
how to play this game.
In a whole day?
370
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,741
You don't know
how to play it,
371
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,209
And you'll never know
how to play it.
372
00:11:52,411 --> 00:11:55,012
I do know. Do you know
how much sugar there is in this?
373
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,214
You don't offer
$10 million to eat pastry.
374
00:11:57,216 --> 00:12:00,417
People are gonna take that.
And they're gonna do it.
375
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,686
And they're gonna change
their lives forever.
376
00:12:02,688 --> 00:12:04,155
All right.
I recognize you.
377
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:05,356
You've been here before,
right, buddy?
378
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,024
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
379
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:09,627
Hey, uh, do you mind
if I ask you a question?
380
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:13,697
Somebody left a pretty scathing
review about me specifically.
381
00:12:13,699 --> 00:12:16,700
They said, "I ordered
an iced coffee,
382
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,970
But the man behind the counter
gave me hot coffee.
383
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,773
I told him
and he said, 'it is iced.'
384
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:24,708
And then to prove it,
he put his hand in my cup
385
00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:27,111
And just held it there.
386
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:28,512
It must have been boiling hot.
387
00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:31,915
His face turned red
and I could see he was crying
388
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,785
And I didn't have time
for all that,
389
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:35,853
So I just waved
at a different person
390
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:37,388
And she got me my coffee."
391
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,990
[ both laugh ]
392
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:40,992
Did you write that, liam?
No.
393
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:43,861
If I had pulled my hand out
of the scalding-hot coffee,
394
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,929
They would have seen
that I had made a mistake
395
00:12:46,131 --> 00:12:47,531
And it wasn't iced coffee.
396
00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:49,000
They would have been
the strong one.
397
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,668
I was the weak one.
398
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,470
And I can't have
that power disparity.
399
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,271
Yeah, I know.
400
00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:56,007
"anyway, a half a dozen
skin grafts later,
401
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:57,809
I'm still the strong one."
402
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,410
Anyways, a half a dozen
skin grafts later,
403
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:01,144
I'm still the strong one.
404
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,546
You see?
405
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,481
You didn't write this shit?
406
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:05,883
You didn't write it?
407
00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:07,819
It was some captain american-
looking mother[bleep]
408
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,353
Who did this.
409
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:11,288
Good luck asking
for a good review now.
410
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,156
I think this guy's on board,
man.
411
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:14,958
Will you please
write me a good review tonight?
412
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,560
Liam! Liam!
413
00:13:16,762 --> 00:13:18,562
Liam! Liam!
414
00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:19,897
Write me a good review, liam?
415
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:22,165
Li-- it was you!
This was you?
416
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,301
You're the weak one, liam.
I win.
417
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,570
[ buzzer ]
418
00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:27,638
Murr: All right, buddy.
419
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:28,906
-Yeah.
-What's your name?
420
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:30,174
Just so I know.
Howard.
421
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,376
Howard? You come in here
a few times, right?
422
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:34,645
Yeah, yeah, we've seen you here.
Welcome back.
Thank you.
423
00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:36,179
So my name's brian.
424
00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:37,781
I've been working here,
and somebody wrote, like,
425
00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:40,784
A real mean review about me
online.
Really?
426
00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:42,053
This guy wrote...
Murr: Here we go.
427
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:45,322
"...The bro who looks like
a retired fred flintstone
428
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,925
[bleep] a margaritaville...
429
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:49,593
[ murr and sal laugh ]
430
00:13:49,795 --> 00:13:53,997
...Slipped a dime bag of
his homegrown weed into my bag.
431
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:55,666
Dude rules.
432
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,602
Never seen anyone so carefree
at 8:00 a.M.
433
00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:00,003
[ murr and sal laugh ]
434
00:14:00,205 --> 00:14:01,939
Mind you, three days later,
435
00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:06,143
The same dude, who also looks
like george clooney's corpse,
436
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:09,547
Whose prized possession is a
'rocketeer' pinball machine --"
437
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:11,749
That's a great one.
[ chuckles ]
438
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:14,351
"was fashioning a new set
of napkins,
439
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:17,020
But I could tell by the
washed-over look in his eyes,
440
00:14:17,222 --> 00:14:18,689
He wished the napkins
were made
441
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:22,093
Of high-tensile-strength
66-gauge nylon.
442
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,494
I wish him the best."
443
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:24,962
[ murr and sal laugh ]
444
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:27,565
So it was quite
a personal review of me.
445
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:28,832
[ both laugh ]
446
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,367
He didn't say anything about
447
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,702
How you served him
or what your demeanor was.
448
00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:33,704
No, I gave him the weed.
Yeah.
449
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,173
What you're saying is,
no good deed goes unpunished.
450
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,309
You're right. Right.
I'm like puff, puff, pass.
451
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,577
"yabba dabba doo!"
452
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:41,112
[ both laugh ]
453
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,114
Would you be willing
to do me a favor?
What's that?
454
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,782
Would you be willing
to jump on one of our socials
455
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:47,184
And write, like,
a pleasant review about me?
456
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,253
-Sure.
-Aw!
457
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:50,387
All right.
Thank you, thank you.
458
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,589
Murr: Good job.
459
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,925
Is this --
this is how you see me?
460
00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:58,061
I look like fred flintstone
[bleep] a margaritaville?
461
00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:00,131
[ ding! ]
sal: You got it, you got it.
462
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,799
All right, buddy.
This guy right here.
463
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:04,335
Have you been in
tompkins square bagels before?
464
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:05,803
Yeah, I've been in the one
in, um...
465
00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:07,138
It's the one
on ninth avenue.
466
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,072
Yeah. My god.
Someone left a -- like,
467
00:15:09,274 --> 00:15:12,209
A scathing review directed at me
personally.
468
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:15,479
They left this literally
on the page --
469
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:18,549
"the man behind the counter told
me he creams his own cheese."
470
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,718
[ murr and q laugh ]
471
00:15:26,324 --> 00:15:29,125
Sal: Someone left a --
like, a scathing review.
472
00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:32,262
"the man behind the counter told
me he creams his own cheese.
473
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:33,730
[ murr and q laugh ]
474
00:15:33,932 --> 00:15:35,599
Then he licked his lips
and asked me
475
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,669
If I knew what that meant,
and I said, 'I think so.'
476
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:41,071
And he said,
'tell me what it means.'
477
00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:42,806
[ murr and q laugh ]
478
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:45,676
And I said, 'you make your own
cream cheese.'
479
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:49,079
And he said, 'sure.'
then he said, 'by the way,
480
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:51,748
We're closed,'
and turned off the lights.
481
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:55,152
Then he just stood there
in the dark, not moving.
482
00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:56,486
I turned around
and bolted out of the store.
483
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:57,954
I ran all the way home,
484
00:15:58,156 --> 00:15:59,556
Constantly checking
over my shoulder
485
00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:00,691
To make sure I wasn't
being followed
486
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,559
By the cream cheese guy.
487
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:04,495
My iced coffee was good,
but hot."
488
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,063
[ both laugh ]
489
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:10,567
Did you write that, peter?
490
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:13,437
"I am known in some quarters
as the cream cheese man."
491
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:15,372
'cause I am known
as the cream cheese guy
492
00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:16,640
In some quarters.
493
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,242
You know?
I'm not refuting what happened,
494
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:20,176
But he said, "the man
behind the counter
495
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:22,046
Told me he makes his own cream
cheese," which I do.
496
00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:24,114
[ murr and q laugh ]
497
00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:26,183
Lick your lips. Lick your lips.
Yeah, lick your lips.
498
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:28,985
[ laughs ]
499
00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:31,655
Sal, just stand there and don't
move and lick your lips at him.
500
00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:34,190
Peter: Sorry. I don't --
that's...
All right.
501
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:35,659
[ murr and q laugh ]
502
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,194
Any chance that you'd be willing
to go on to our socials
503
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:39,996
And leave a positive review?
504
00:16:40,198 --> 00:16:42,266
Q: Oh, wow.
Thank you so much.
505
00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:44,535
Yeah. My name is sal.
They know me.
Sal?
506
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,603
They call me
the cream cheese guy.
Okay.
507
00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:48,405
Big lick, slow lick.
508
00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:50,407
You know what I mean, right?
509
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:51,475
Thank you.
510
00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:53,143
[ murr and q laugh ]
511
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:54,278
Hey, can we hit the lights?
512
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,479
[ ding! ]
513
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,013
Good job.
514
00:16:57,215 --> 00:16:58,749
Narrator:
Murr's the one yelping now
515
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:02,486
Because
he's tonight's big loser.
516
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:04,221
All right, james s. Murray lost.
517
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,223
And we are here at pier 17
at the seaport,
518
00:17:06,425 --> 00:17:08,559
Where people have gathered
for an outdoor film screening.
519
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,761
Yeah, murr, you're gonna
be playing a janitor cleaning up
520
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,763
Before the event,
521
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,566
And you'll be doing it with this
high-powered cordless vacuum,
522
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:19,169
Where you, my friend, will be
sucking up people's belongings.
523
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:21,305
Got it. There it is.
No, that's not it.
524
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:23,440
We also have
these custom-made bingo cards
525
00:17:23,642 --> 00:17:25,309
That we're handing out
to our crew,
526
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:27,444
And our cards have a list
of random items on them.
527
00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:29,980
And every time you suck up
one of the random items,
528
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:33,450
Our crew gets one step closer
to bingo.
529
00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:35,319
Which means, of course...
530
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:36,787
I gotta keep sucking
until someone gets bingo?
531
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,123
Both: Bingo.
532
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,925
Sal: So these folks here
at pier 17 are gathering
533
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:43,460
To watch
an outdoor nighttime movie,
534
00:17:43,462 --> 00:17:45,729
"forrest gump," tonight.
Our crew here,
535
00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:48,465
They're all set up at a table
with their bingo cards.
536
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,667
Here comes murray
onto the field here.
537
00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:52,936
[ q and sal laugh ]
538
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:54,605
Do I blend in?
539
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:56,340
The mustache changes
everything about you.
540
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:58,208
Guys, I just saw my reflection
in the mirror.
541
00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:00,677
I look like a laguardia
air-traffic controller.
542
00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:01,945
You do.
543
00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:04,614
"delta flight 239
is delayed at a half-hour."
544
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,616
[ q and sal laugh ]
545
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:09,219
All right, I'm going in,
I'm going in, I'm going in.
546
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,087
Oh, my god.
547
00:18:11,289 --> 00:18:12,489
Are you going for something?
Yeah, yeah. The shoe.
548
00:18:12,691 --> 00:18:14,491
We'll go with these guys.
Black-and-white shoe.
549
00:18:14,693 --> 00:18:16,293
Try to get in it
so you can scoop the shoe.
550
00:18:16,495 --> 00:18:17,962
Yeah. Yep.
551
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:19,830
I don't need to tell you
how to suck.
552
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,032
[ laughing ] this is
the stupidest thing ever.
553
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:23,099
What are we doing?
554
00:18:23,301 --> 00:18:24,768
Sal and I
aren't doing anything.
555
00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:25,969
I don't know what you're doing.
We are relaxing.
556
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,303
Yeah.
All right, I'm going.
557
00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:29,639
I'm going in, I'm going in.
I'm going in.
558
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,908
[ vacuum whirring ]
559
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:34,778
♪♪
560
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,914
[ q and sal laugh ]
561
00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:41,652
♪♪
562
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:43,754
He's coming.
He's coming after you.
563
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:47,191
He's running after you
in his white socks.
564
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,126
Bro, that's my shoe.
565
00:18:50,328 --> 00:18:51,528
What? What's that?
566
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,063
It's my girlfriend's shoe.
No, it's trash. It's trash.
567
00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:54,264
It's not.
568
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:55,265
Wait. I'm sorry.
Was that your shoe?
569
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:56,667
Yeah, that's
my girlfriend's shoe.
570
00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:58,602
Oh, my god. Dude,
I thought that was the trash.
571
00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:00,204
That's why -- you wouldn't
believe at the end of the night
572
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,005
How many loose shoes
we get left here,
573
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,007
So I'm just trained.
I see a shoe.
574
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,543
I immediately suck it up and
take it to the trash, you know?
575
00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:08,144
[ q and sal laugh ]
576
00:19:08,346 --> 00:19:09,746
Anyways, the mustache is fake.
577
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:11,415
Get back there to your girl,
okay?
578
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:12,749
[ q and sal laugh ]
579
00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:14,218
[ murr laughs ]
580
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:15,819
Who had "shoe"?
Who had "shoe"?
581
00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:17,221
[ group cheering ]
man: All right!
582
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:19,223
Murr, I can't believe
your instincts were right there.
583
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:20,424
[ laughs ]
584
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,826
I see a book I can grab.
How about a book?
585
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:23,894
I don't know if it's
on the bingo card,
586
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,095
But I can get a book.
587
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,162
We're not gonna
tell you shit, bro.
588
00:19:26,164 --> 00:19:27,631
Just -- you just go get it.
589
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:29,033
Okay.
I'm going for this woman's book.
590
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,967
[ vacuum whirring ]
591
00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:35,639
♪♪
592
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:36,973
[ q and sal laugh ]
593
00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:38,242
Is that -- is that tra--
is this trash?
594
00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:40,444
Huh?
Is this trash?
595
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:43,113
Is this trash?
Or were you reading it?
Excuse me.
596
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:46,182
Oh. It's not trash. You're sure.
Okay, good.
597
00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:47,784
What are you listening to?
598
00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:48,985
Music.
599
00:19:49,187 --> 00:19:50,320
Murr, just say,
"life is like a box
600
00:19:50,322 --> 00:19:51,655
Of chocolates,"
then walk away.
601
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,457
Life is like a box
of chocolates, right?
602
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:54,524
Huh?
603
00:19:54,726 --> 00:19:56,560
[ q and sal laugh ]
604
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:00,664
Who's got "book"?
605
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:01,865
-Whoo!
-Whoo!
606
00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:03,400
Wow. All right.
Not as many. Not as many.
607
00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:04,534
I'll get a burrito.
608
00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:06,603
Burrito?
609
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:08,138
It's a burrito bowl,
my friend.
610
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,674
Sal: Oh, my -- if you actually
suck the food out of...
611
00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:12,075
They just opened that.
612
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,410
Oh, my god.
This is crazy.
613
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:15,446
Woman: Yeah.
614
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:18,282
Q: There he goes.
He's going in for the...
615
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:20,484
[ vacuum whirring ]
616
00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:22,152
Oh!
617
00:20:24,522 --> 00:20:25,890
Q: It's a burrito bowl,
my friend.
618
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:27,357
Sal: They just opened that.
619
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,493
Oh, my god.
This is crazy.
620
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:32,362
Woman: Yeah.
621
00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:33,697
Q: There he goes.
He's going in for the...
622
00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:36,366
[ vacuum whirring ]
623
00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:38,836
Oh!
Oh, my god, did that just...
624
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,704
I'm sorry.
I was spinning around.
625
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,640
It just got -- I'm so sorry.
626
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:44,775
No. Oh, oh, oh!
Oh, my god. Oh.
627
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:45,843
I'm so sorry.
628
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,577
"I suck."
629
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,512
I suck.
630
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:50,180
[ both laugh ]
631
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:51,181
Don't worry about it.
632
00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:52,450
Okay, okay.
Well, enjoy "forrest gump."
633
00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:54,585
I'm so sorry again.
My apologies.
634
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,253
Sal: Oh!
Q: Wow, murr!
635
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,921
Lunch.
Who had "lunch"?
636
00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,189
Who had "lunch"
637
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:00,924
Ooh, boy.
Lunch.
638
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,592
You guys done with that?
639
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,328
You guys done with that?
You're done with that?
640
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:06,396
What? Oh. Oh.
641
00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,266
[ q and sal laugh ]
642
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:09,267
♪♪
643
00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:12,202
[ q and sal laugh ]
644
00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:13,871
[ laughing ] oh, drink.
645
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:15,606
Who had "drink"?
646
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:17,007
He's going for socks.
647
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:18,275
You wanna help me out?
648
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:19,677
Do you want to lift 'em up
for me? No?
649
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:21,879
That guy is not amused.
650
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:24,682
♪♪
651
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:26,550
[ q and sal laugh ]
652
00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:31,889
♪♪
653
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:34,224
[ q and sal laugh ]
654
00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:36,494
Snacks?
655
00:21:36,496 --> 00:21:39,630
Murr, a lot of people
have one box left, my friend.
656
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:40,964
Great job, buddy,
657
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,900
But "bicycle helmet" is not
on the bingo card.
658
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:44,568
Shit.
659
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:46,236
Oh, my god,
what a cute puppy that is.
660
00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:47,437
That puppy's great.
661
00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:48,372
I got a dumpling.
662
00:21:48,574 --> 00:21:50,040
You got a dumpling?
663
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:51,175
You're not gonna eat
that dumpling.
664
00:21:51,377 --> 00:21:53,711
Oh, my god!
665
00:21:53,713 --> 00:21:55,379
♪♪
666
00:21:55,581 --> 00:21:57,114
Child: Ohh!
667
00:21:57,116 --> 00:21:58,048
[ q and sal laugh ]
668
00:21:58,050 --> 00:21:59,317
Murr: Kid?
669
00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:00,851
"children"
are not on the card.
670
00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:02,252
How about the phone?
The phone?
671
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:03,921
Is that trash? I got the phone.
672
00:22:04,123 --> 00:22:05,455
Is this trash or no?
673
00:22:05,457 --> 00:22:07,525
Trash? You need any trash gone?
You need that gone?
674
00:22:07,527 --> 00:22:10,060
Come on, get it! Get it!
No? You good? No?
675
00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:12,062
Suck that cone!
Suck that cone!
676
00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:14,331
[ laughter ]
677
00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:15,533
You actually got it.
678
00:22:15,735 --> 00:22:16,701
[ q and sal laugh ]
679
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,404
Oh, god.
680
00:22:20,406 --> 00:22:22,540
I've done, like, 12 things.
No one has bingo yet?
681
00:22:22,742 --> 00:22:24,808
No one?
No one has bingo yet. No.
682
00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:26,810
Uh, the woman in red
to my right
683
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,679
Has a vape
on top of her phone.
684
00:22:28,881 --> 00:22:30,548
There has to be a vape
on the list.
685
00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:31,882
I cannot tell you.
Stop asking.
686
00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:33,083
Well, I'm gonna go for it, so...
687
00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:34,752
Yeah,
maybe you're going for it,
688
00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:36,220
And maybe you're going for it
in vain.
689
00:22:36,422 --> 00:22:39,089
[ vacuum whirring ]
690
00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:41,024
Oh! He got the vape, man!
691
00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:42,292
I hear it banging around.
I hear it banging around.
692
00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:43,561
Look, look, look, look, look!
[ laughs ]
693
00:22:43,563 --> 00:22:44,895
Oh, my god.
694
00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:46,430
I hear it banging around.
695
00:22:46,432 --> 00:22:48,766
Oh, you guys...
I think you just
sucked up my vape.
696
00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:50,367
I sucked up your vape?
Yeah.
697
00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:52,236
No, no, no, no, no.
What are you talking about?
No, it is.
698
00:22:52,238 --> 00:22:53,904
I don't vape. I'm sorry.
699
00:22:54,106 --> 00:22:56,040
What happened?
No, I do. Maybe not anymore.
700
00:22:56,242 --> 00:22:57,507
[ q and sal laugh ]
701
00:22:57,709 --> 00:22:59,777
"I'm unable
to get in this small opening."
702
00:22:59,979 --> 00:23:01,511
You know what it is?
I'm unable
703
00:23:01,513 --> 00:23:03,581
To get into
this small op--
704
00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:05,048
[ q and sal laugh ]
me, personally,
705
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:07,385
I'm unable to climb
inside the small openings,
706
00:23:07,587 --> 00:23:09,186
So I can't possibly get
your vape.
Yeah, no. No, no, no.
707
00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:10,588
That makes total sense.
So...
708
00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:12,923
Murr, reach in your pocket.
There's business cards in there.
709
00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:13,857
We put them in.
710
00:23:13,859 --> 00:23:15,525
Um...
711
00:23:15,527 --> 00:23:18,662
You've got the parks department
lost and found.
712
00:23:18,864 --> 00:23:20,398
It is the number.
Yeah?
713
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,600
Uh, you should give it 72 hours
and then call.
714
00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:25,469
And if they find your vape,
you can pick it up.
715
00:23:25,471 --> 00:23:27,537
[ q and sal laugh ]
716
00:23:27,539 --> 00:23:29,873
Murr, then drop that
you're not a smart man,
717
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:31,141
But you know
what love is.
718
00:23:31,343 --> 00:23:33,477
I'll be honest, ma'am --
I'm not a smart man,
719
00:23:33,479 --> 00:23:35,279
But I know what love is.
720
00:23:35,281 --> 00:23:37,748
[ q and sal laugh ]
721
00:23:37,950 --> 00:23:38,816
That was "forrest gump."
722
00:23:39,018 --> 00:23:40,017
You get it, right?
No. Yeah, I get it.
723
00:23:40,219 --> 00:23:41,485
The movie.
Yeah, you get it, you get it.
724
00:23:41,687 --> 00:23:43,153
[ q and sal laugh ]
725
00:23:43,355 --> 00:23:44,488
♪♪
726
00:23:44,490 --> 00:23:45,823
Q: Murr, hold on.
Wait a second, murr.
727
00:23:46,025 --> 00:23:46,690
What?
728
00:23:46,892 --> 00:23:48,959
Both: Bingo!
729
00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:50,494
Vape pen.
Who would have thought it?
730
00:23:50,496 --> 00:23:52,162
"vape pen" did it.
731
00:23:52,364 --> 00:23:54,564
Well, fellas, I'm done.
I'm taking this mustache off.
732
00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:55,900
[ q and sal laugh ]
733
00:23:57,236 --> 00:23:59,770
All right, mustache is gone.
Mustache is gone.
734
00:23:59,972 --> 00:24:00,838
Get me out of here.
735
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,706
Let's watch "forrest gump."
come on.