1 00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:09,675 [ laughter ] 2 00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:12,644 [ screaming ] 3 00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:15,413 Let's just get this started. 4 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:16,949 Are you [bleep] kidding me? 5 00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,283 Who's a good cat? 6 00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:20,652 [ laughter ] 7 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:25,157 [ chuckles ] 8 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:28,226 [ laughter ] 9 00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:30,428 Today we're playing waiters at the colonial diner. 10 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:31,896 And we'll be offering customers 11 00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:33,031 The special of the day. 12 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,967 The catch is, those strange specials 13 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:36,701 Have been written by the other guys. 14 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:39,504 And if you can't get someone to order one of them, you lose. 15 00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:41,173 I'll have what he's having. 16 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:46,044 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!! 17 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,613 [ laughs ] too real. 18 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,185 And, now, do I button this button? 19 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,855 Is this too deep of a "v" for a waiter? 20 00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,323 No, we need ratings. 21 00:00:58,525 --> 00:00:59,924 I wish there was one more button you could put down. Yeah. 22 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:01,326 Can you cut open another button? 23 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,127 Yeah. That's it. Wait. 24 00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:04,262 We have live ratings happening right now. 25 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:05,797 They're going up. 26 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,000 [ both laugh ] 27 00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:10,468 Hello, guys. How are you today? 28 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,971 You know, we're doing some dessert specials. 29 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,607 Yeah. Let me read you what we have. 30 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:17,075 Uh, we do have a sorbet, 31 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:19,878 But the sorbet is wild-caught. 32 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,680 So that's a wild-caught sorbet 33 00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:23,816 And it's in a vegan-free glob. 34 00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:26,351 [ laughs ] 35 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:27,952 Lemon cake? Let me see. 36 00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:29,487 We have a buffalo ice cream suck-down. 37 00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:31,289 [ murr and q laugh ] 38 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:34,159 Um, oriental muffin honks are great. 39 00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,028 [ murr and q laugh ] 40 00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,630 And then you got the bumbaclot pudding. 41 00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:41,166 [ murr and q laugh ] 42 00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:43,768 We got decommissioned christ wafers. 43 00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:45,970 [ murr and q laugh ] 44 00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:48,707 They're decommissioned. Okay? So they weren't blessed. 45 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,174 Now, if you want something sweet, 46 00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:51,710 The ice-cold banana nightmare. 47 00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,978 [ murr and q laugh ] 48 00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:55,647 And then, of course, is -- now, this is -- 49 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,182 This is a cool take on a dessert. 50 00:01:57,384 --> 00:02:00,252 It's dessert shrimp fingered beyond recognition. 51 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,221 [ laughs ] 52 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,657 [ murr and q laugh ] 53 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,392 Sal: Hello, ladies. How are you today? 54 00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:09,127 We have a couple specials today, if you want to know those. 55 00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:11,396 Yeah, sure. Here we go. 56 00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:13,065 Okay, so we have an unaccompanied dove 57 00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,733 And that's with sea sauce. 58 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,000 Dove?! 59 00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:18,536 Yeah. It's unaccompanied. 60 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:20,138 We do have a smart chicken. 61 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,340 Do you know they do the smart chickens now? 62 00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:24,342 We have smart chicken. It'll be boiled -- 63 00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,678 Um, boiled in its own electrolytes. 64 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,680 [ murr and q laugh ] 65 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:31,816 It's like an au jus. Like, um -- like a confit. 66 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:32,751 And then the admiral's nest. 67 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:33,886 If you're looking for chicken, 68 00:02:34,088 --> 00:02:35,487 We have the admiral's nest special. 69 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:38,222 That'll be three beaks served over warm bread. 70 00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:39,825 [ murr and q laugh ] 71 00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:42,694 This one, I -- 72 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,429 No one's ordered it today and I haven't tasted it, 73 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,231 So I don't know, but it seems interesting. 74 00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:48,100 Gallstone pie with green cream. 75 00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:49,701 [ murr and q laugh ] 76 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,703 What -- what is green cream? 77 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,105 Which one would you recommend? 78 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:54,773 I would tell you -- when they used to have 79 00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,374 The dove accompanied, I loved it. 80 00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:58,110 Now that it's unaccompanied, 81 00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,844 I feel like it's just left to shine. 82 00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:01,446 Sounds that way. 83 00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:02,847 Dessert -- just so you know later -- 84 00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:04,716 We do have a blue... 85 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:05,984 What kind of dessert do you have? 86 00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,052 We have a blue raspberry lobster squeezy. 87 00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:09,587 [ murr and q laugh ] 88 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,123 [ laughing ] lobster squeezy. 89 00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:12,457 Okay. Okay. 90 00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:14,192 Oh-ho! Q: Come on, man. 91 00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:15,927 It's got everything you love -- 92 00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,929 Lobster, squeezing, blue, and raspberry. 93 00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:19,864 Listen, no one's gonna turn down lobster. 94 00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:21,933 [ ding! ] 95 00:03:21,936 --> 00:03:23,935 Sal: All righty. Hey, fellas. Hey. 96 00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:26,070 Did anybody come over and get you guys anything yet? 97 00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:27,605 Okay, you guys know what you want to drink? 98 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,407 Murr: All right, buddy. Here we go. 99 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,543 Give me a diet whatever. Diet whatever. 100 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,411 You got it. 101 00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:34,479 [ laughing ] diet whatever. 102 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,080 That was on our menu. [ laughs ] 103 00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:38,282 And did anybody give you the specials today? 104 00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:40,685 Uh, no. Oh, we got some good ones today. 105 00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,421 We have the hammer- slammed hen shards, 106 00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:44,889 Uh, for lunch. 107 00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:47,292 That's till 3:00. So we got time for that. 108 00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:51,029 Uh, that is where they take a hen and smash it with a hammer. 109 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,630 And then the pieces that come off, 110 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:55,500 They fry up, and then they serve. 111 00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,235 So they just -- they just hammer it. 112 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,503 [ laughs ] 113 00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:00,572 They have the btk, 114 00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:03,041 Where they re-create every detail 115 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,910 Of the btk killer's final meal. 116 00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:07,846 Murr: [ laughs ] 117 00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,247 "fellas, it's pot roast." 118 00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,382 It's just pot roast. 119 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,184 [ sal and murr laugh ] 120 00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:13,785 Uh, we got, um... 121 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,588 Oh, the crab raccoon. 122 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,391 [ sal and murr laugh ] 123 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,059 Murr: [ laughing ] crab raccoon. 124 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,260 Yeah. Okay. 125 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,196 So it's like crab rangoon, 126 00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:26,464 But there's a little raccoon mixed in that. 127 00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:28,132 So that's -- that's only this week. 128 00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:29,201 Murr: This guy's loving it. 129 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,469 Yeah. Crab raccoon. 130 00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:34,206 Am I sensing a little interest in the crab raccoon? 131 00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:35,540 [ sal and murr laugh ] 132 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,542 Crab raccoon? Man: That'd be good. 133 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:38,410 Well, there's more. 134 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:39,944 Okay. Ocean loaf. 135 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,546 [ murr laughs ] 136 00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:42,480 What is ocean loaf? 137 00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:43,948 Yeah, that's a great question. 138 00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:45,617 It is the meat loaf of the sea. 139 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,619 And that is basically everything -- 140 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,354 Everything we have left over from the fish dishes, 141 00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,691 We mold them together. It's an of-- 142 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:53,892 Crush it into a rectangular... 143 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,227 You got it. 144 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,961 You're lucky if there's any left, actually. 145 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,564 That whole table over there ordered nothing but ocean loaf. 146 00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,566 [ laughs ] 147 00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,702 And then, finally, we got the... 148 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:06,238 Slow-slaughtered turkey moms. 149 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,906 Now, that's exactly as described. 150 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,974 We take mother hens -- mother turkeys, 151 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,576 And we kill them slowly. 152 00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:14,178 "they're killed slowly but flash-fried." 153 00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:16,048 They're killed slowly, 154 00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:19,584 But flash-fried, so it locks in the death pheromones. 155 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,053 And that juxtaposition, 156 00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:22,454 It makes for just the most tasty lunch 157 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,055 You guys are gonna have. 158 00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:27,726 Yeah. In fact, I would go with that over the ocean loaf. 159 00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,527 "'cause when I got here, she was still dying." 160 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,396 Yeah. [ laughing ] when I got here -- 161 00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,998 When I got here, the turkey mom was still being put to death. 162 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,199 Ah. 163 00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:37,401 [ sal and murr laugh ] 164 00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,603 I could get you out a free sample 165 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:40,138 Of the crab raccoon if you want. 166 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,406 You wanna try it? 167 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:43,675 Yeah? You're gonna try some crab raccoon? 168 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:46,278 A-ha! Ah! Ohhhh! 169 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,946 Somebody knows the delicious part. 170 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:48,947 [ ding! ] 171 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,548 Murr: Nicely done, buddy. 172 00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:52,016 Uh, my name's james, by the way. 173 00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:53,618 Uh, before I take your order, 174 00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,287 Can I interest you in some of our specials? 175 00:05:55,289 --> 00:05:56,888 Do you mind if I run through them real quick? 176 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:57,889 Okay. Might as well confuse us. 177 00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,090 Yeah. [ laughs ] 178 00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:01,092 Oh, you don't even know the half of it, lady. 179 00:06:01,095 --> 00:06:02,560 [ both laugh ] 180 00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,028 The first special we have is, um, 181 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,299 Captivity-caught salmon, served bareback. 182 00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:08,833 [ sal and q laugh ] 183 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,502 That's not confusing. Right? 184 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,571 It's captivity-caught salmon, served bareback. 185 00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:14,639 Okay. Okay. 186 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:16,240 So there's salmon on a farm. 187 00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:17,575 It's in captivity. Yeah. 188 00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:19,111 And it's served bareback. 189 00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:21,780 So there's no protection on that salmon whatsoever. Got you. 190 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,181 "you're gonna be raw-dogging that salmon." 191 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,583 It's a -- it's just raw-dog salmon 192 00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:27,251 Right there on your plate. Woman: Yeah, but I'm... 193 00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:28,853 I'm not going there, so... 194 00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,254 Yeah, you're not going there? Okay. You don't want that. 195 00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:32,056 Yeah. You're not in a salmon mood? No. Okay. 196 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,593 Okay. We also have, uh -- we have a fish moron on toast. 197 00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:36,928 [ sal and q laugh ] 198 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,263 Have you had fish moron? No. 199 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:41,199 Yeah, I mean, there's one on every menu. 200 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,867 [ sal and q laugh ] 201 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,402 Who figures out these menus? 202 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,604 [ sal and q laugh ] 203 00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:50,608 Okay. And then we also have italian-irish chicken sloppies. 204 00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:51,943 [ sal and q laugh ] 205 00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,411 Italian-irish chicken sloppies. 206 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,347 I just want to stick with what we thought we would get. 207 00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:56,548 Oh, my god, ladies! Yeah. 208 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,416 You have to try a chicken sloppy. 209 00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,018 This isn't looking good for you, buddy. 210 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,886 Okay, well, let me go through the desserts, as well. 211 00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:04,956 We have some gaylord perry's famous wet cheeseness. 212 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,558 Wet cheeseness? 213 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,092 Yeah, wet cheeseness. 214 00:07:08,294 --> 00:07:09,761 You know what wet cheeseness is? 215 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,830 No. Cheese-ness? 216 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,565 No. And you know gaylord perry. 217 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:16,300 No. God. Right down on u.S. 1. 218 00:07:16,302 --> 00:07:18,036 He's got that shop. 219 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,905 He's got that shop -- gaylord perry's. Woman #2: Oh, no. That's okay. 220 00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:23,908 We don't usually eat dessert anyway. Yeah. 221 00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:26,044 Okay, so we also have one other entrée special today. 222 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,713 You have to get this one! 223 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,249 [ sal and q laugh ] 224 00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:36,788 Okay, so we also have one other entrée special today. 225 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,790 You have to get this one! 226 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,193 [ sal and q laugh ] 227 00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:42,928 Q: Murray, you're wearing them down. 228 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:46,331 Promise me that you're gonna try donnie's dirty chicken, 229 00:07:46,334 --> 00:07:49,001 Which is charred, choked, and creamed 230 00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:52,938 In a chunky blumpkin gravy, served with a hot fork. 231 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,740 "served with a hot fork." 232 00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:56,408 I'm gonna try the beef reuben. 233 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,944 It's got -- you want a reuben? 234 00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:01,613 You have to try it. It's served with a hot fork. 235 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,148 It's charred, choked, and creamed 236 00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:05,951 In a chunky blumpkin gravy, served with a hot fork. 237 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,953 It's donnie's dirty chicken. 238 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,755 "you've never had blumpkin gravy with a hot fork?" 239 00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,489 Wait a second. 240 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,358 Do you mean to tell me neither of you 241 00:08:13,361 --> 00:08:15,027 Have ever had blumpkin gravy served with a hot fork? 242 00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:17,162 You never even heard of it. You've never heard... 243 00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,030 Sal: "there's also grilled cheese." 244 00:08:19,033 --> 00:08:20,899 Oh, wait. Oh, we also have grilled cheese. 245 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,834 [ sal and q laugh ] 246 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,636 Oh, well, that's what judy's having. What kind of grilled cheese do you have? 247 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:25,971 Oh, you're interested in grilled cheese? 248 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,240 Yeah. [ sal and q laugh ] 249 00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:30,242 I'm offering you blumpkin gravy with a hot fork, 250 00:08:30,444 --> 00:08:32,310 And you're only interested in grilled cheese? 251 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:33,311 [ buzzer ] 252 00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:34,580 Q: You're done, dude. 253 00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:36,715 Narrator: Murr couldn't dish out any specials, 254 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:39,851 Making him first up on the loser board. 255 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,587 Today we're biking through hoboken, new jersey. 256 00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:45,190 But, oh, lord jesus, we fell off our bikes, jesus! 257 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,525 And we need a good samaritan to help us out. 258 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,395 However, when that someone comes to check on you, 259 00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:52,197 The other guys are gonna force us to be so rude and off-putting 260 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,199 That the good samaritan will not want to help you out. 261 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,668 If somebody does not help you up because of something 262 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,804 The other guys told you to say, you lose. 263 00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,138 Ain't nobody got time for that. 264 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,673 Lord help me, jesus. Wh-- 265 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,410 ♪♪ 266 00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:06,612 Sal likes bike riding. Does he? 267 00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:08,546 He does. I wouldn't think so. 268 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,881 You wouldn't think so? No. 269 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,517 He doesn't seem like he would balance well. 270 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,487 Just rode it down the steps. 271 00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,523 [ q and murr laugh ] 272 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,026 Aah! Oh, boy. 273 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:24,229 Shit! Dude, help me out. Dude. 274 00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:25,631 Dude, help me out? 275 00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:26,832 [ q and murr laugh ] 276 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:29,435 He gets farther and farther away from you. 277 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,972 Oh, no! Ah! 278 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,707 Here comes a superhero... Yeah. 279 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,843 ...With guns out coming to help you, sal. 280 00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:40,111 I think I did something with a meniscus. 281 00:09:40,114 --> 00:09:42,380 "oh, I bet you think you're so great helping." oh. 282 00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:43,781 All right, I'll give you this one. 283 00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,517 I bet you think you're so great helping me. [ laughs ] 284 00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:47,519 "who dressed you? A 9-year-old with a vendetta?" 285 00:09:47,521 --> 00:09:50,388 Who dressed you? A 9-year-old with a vendetta? 286 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,923 "just so you know, 287 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,125 I'm not into whatever religious crap you're gonna try 288 00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:54,526 And peddle after this." 289 00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,194 Just so you know, I'm not into whatever religious crap 290 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,863 You're gonna try and peddle me after this. 291 00:09:58,065 --> 00:09:59,931 [ q and murr laugh ] 292 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,867 "yikes. Who did your bangs?" 293 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,935 Oh, my god. Yikes. Who did those bangs? 294 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,603 [ q and murr laugh ] 295 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,138 "of course he goes for the bike." 296 00:10:07,141 --> 00:10:09,141 Of course he goes for the bike and not help me. 297 00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:10,075 Aah! 298 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:11,477 [ q and murr laugh ] 299 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:12,810 "hey, what's your name, man?" 300 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:13,879 Hey, what's your name, buddy? 301 00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:16,147 "ick. Terrible name." sam? Ick. 302 00:10:16,150 --> 00:10:18,083 Terrible name. Okay. Yeah. 303 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,551 Aaaah! 304 00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:21,286 [ q and murr laugh ] 305 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,287 I know your kind. 306 00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,822 Oh, I know your [laughing] kind. 307 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:25,957 "watch it, dork." 308 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,160 Come on. Watch it, dork. 309 00:10:28,362 --> 00:10:30,028 Come on. 310 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,898 Ah! We threw everything at him. Ah, god. Ah, man. 311 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,367 You helped me despite how many times I've insulted you. 312 00:10:35,369 --> 00:10:37,369 [ laughs ] 313 00:10:37,371 --> 00:10:38,970 Take the fall. 314 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,438 Oh! Aah! 315 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,507 Aah! Damn it! 316 00:10:42,510 --> 00:10:44,576 "I don't want your help!" 317 00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:46,311 You all right, though? Yeah. 318 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,780 I don't want your help! 319 00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:49,981 Oh. Please. No, no. 320 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,384 [ q and murr laugh ] 321 00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:54,052 No! Don't touch my bike! Ah, don't touch my bike. 322 00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,922 Don't touch my bike! Aah! Help, help! Ah! 323 00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:58,523 Help me. Help me, please. Help me. 324 00:10:58,526 --> 00:10:59,925 Okay. I don't know what you want right now. 325 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,326 I want you to help me I want you to help me. 326 00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:02,928 Murr: "I don't like you!" 327 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:04,863 I don't like you! 328 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,798 Aah! Aah! 329 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,800 [ q and murr laugh ] 330 00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:10,001 Okay. Okay. All right. 331 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,603 "where you gotta go?!" 332 00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:13,405 -All right. One... -[ laughs ] 333 00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:15,541 Where you gotta go?! One, two... 334 00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:17,675 Aah! Aah! I need help! 335 00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:19,010 You just said you didn't like me, so... 336 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,079 I know! 337 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,680 One, two... 338 00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:24,015 I think you got it. Ah, there you go, buddy. 339 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,084 Thank you so much. Thank you. You're a gentleman. 340 00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,419 I can't believe it, man. 341 00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:28,686 We can't get a loss here. 342 00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:30,221 You're too likable, buddy. 343 00:11:30,224 --> 00:11:30,888 Q: All right. 344 00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:32,490 [ ding! ] 345 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:33,691 Sal: All right, q. 346 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,693 I don't know if this is gonna work. 347 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,162 Oh, the brake. 348 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,697 Oh. Oh! So hot. Oh! 349 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,766 So hot. 350 00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:42,367 Murr: That was so bad. 351 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,501 Oh! 352 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:44,436 Oh, yeah. 353 00:11:44,638 --> 00:11:45,837 Having a hell of a day. 354 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,173 ♪♪ 355 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:49,441 [ hisses ] 356 00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:51,709 [ hissing ] 357 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,845 [ laughing ] he backed away. He backed away. 358 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,114 [ sal and murr laugh ] 359 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:57,182 Come on, come on. 360 00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,584 You hissed and he backed away. 361 00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:00,118 Yeah, well, I don't blame him. 362 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,252 [ sal and murr laugh ] 363 00:12:01,255 --> 00:12:03,188 Oh. Uh! 364 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,123 Ooh-ohh! 365 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,925 "before you help me, lose the toupee." 366 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,660 Before you help me, you gotta lose that toupee. 367 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,662 "I don't want it slipping off and..." you gotta lose the toupee. 368 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,930 I don't want it slipping off, coming in my mouth. 369 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,065 You gotta... 370 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,667 [ sal and murr laugh ] 371 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,402 Sal: "what's a little thing like you gonna do" 372 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,404 What's a little thing like you gonna do? 373 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,739 "I don't think you're ready for this jelly." 374 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,142 I don't think you're ready for this jelly! 375 00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:25,811 Go. Me and you. 376 00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:27,345 Murr: "next." next. 377 00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:29,147 "you can't handle this, salad hands." 378 00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:31,216 You can't handle this, salad hands. 379 00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:33,485 All right. Okay. All right, all right. Wait, wait, wait. 380 00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:35,153 "what's your full name in case you injure me further?" 381 00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,355 What's your full name in case you injure me further? 382 00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,157 My name is lee. Lee? 383 00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,558 "how about "lee-ve" me alone?" oh, yeah. 384 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,360 "lee-ve" me alone, lee. 385 00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:44,963 [ sal and murr laugh ] 386 00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,699 Oh, my god! He still helped. Say something. 387 00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:49,567 I tried. Hurl an insult. 388 00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:50,902 I did! I threw a few out. 389 00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,904 You have no problem insulting everyone all the time. 390 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,706 Now you're just quiet? 391 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:58,510 That's what we call, my friends, a victory. 392 00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:00,045 [ ding! ] 393 00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:03,114 Q: All right, murr. Murr-man. 394 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,516 Uh! Oh! 395 00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:06,518 [ grunting ] they're not gonna help you 396 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:10,188 Because that looked faker than the moon landing. 397 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,323 Ah. You know... 398 00:13:12,326 --> 00:13:14,992 "can you towel off before you help me, sweaty eddie?" 399 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,461 Can you -- whoa, whoa, whoa! 400 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:19,264 Can you towel off before you help me, sweaty eddie? 401 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,465 If that's... 402 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,200 [ sal and q laugh ] 403 00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,739 Some-- oh. Oh! 404 00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:30,007 Aw! The fricking clip! 405 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,809 "hey, dingus. How about a little help?" 406 00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:34,212 Hey -- hey, dingus. 407 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,681 How about a little help here? Okay? 408 00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:37,349 Dingus, if you don't mind. Thank you. 409 00:13:37,551 --> 00:13:39,150 Put your stuff down, dingus. Let's go. 410 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,953 "oh, great. Someone with a hero complex." 411 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:45,156 Oh, great. Here we go. Someone with a hero complex. 412 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,625 Please, save me. Right? 413 00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,761 "all right. Careful, princess. You'll break a nail." 414 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,763 Okay. All right. Careful, princess. 415 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,565 I don't want you to break a nail. 416 00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:54,766 I mean, if you could help me, though. 417 00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:56,234 I'd really appreciate the help. 418 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,635 [ sal and q laugh ] 419 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,305 You couldn't possibly insult a person more. 420 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,039 Uh! Uh! 421 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:03,241 [ grunting ] 422 00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:05,310 Son of a bitch. 423 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,045 Do you want to give me a hand here, buddy? 424 00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:08,980 One second. The fricking thing. 425 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,982 It just -- it gets locked on the... 426 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,183 "all right, don't touch the bike, freak." 427 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,718 Ooh! Don't [laughs] 428 00:14:13,721 --> 00:14:16,922 Don't -- don't -- don't touch the bike, freak. 429 00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,057 "it costs more than you make in a month." 430 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,658 It costs more than you make in a month. 431 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:21,993 Can you give me a hand over here real quick? 432 00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:23,128 [ stammering ] 433 00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,862 There's no way to win the game. 434 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,997 There's no way to win the game. 435 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,465 The game's stacked against us. 436 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:28,800 [ sal and q laugh ] 437 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:31,669 Murr: [ laughs ] 438 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,471 Fellas, do you see what's happening right now? 439 00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,273 Look at the view from over here. 440 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,509 [ laughter ] 441 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,547 Murr: Fellas, do you see what's happening right now? 442 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,349 Just taking a brotherly stroll. 443 00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:46,684 [ laughs ] 444 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:49,219 There's our boys adeev and ezra on the tandem bike. 445 00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:51,021 -Look at you two. -Hey, look at this. 446 00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:52,356 Look at the view from over here. 447 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,358 You look so graceful. 448 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,960 Murr, if you want them to take a turn, 449 00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:57,295 They can do that, but they're gonna take your turn, 450 00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,696 So you're gonna live and die... 451 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,230 Deal. ...By some potash. 452 00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:01,432 I believe in them. 453 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,033 Here he goes. [ laughs ] 454 00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:05,035 The bike is harder than the challenge. 455 00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:07,972 [ laughter] 456 00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:09,573 Oh, crap. 457 00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:11,041 Oh, no. We're all tangled. 458 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,511 Sir, would you mind -- sir, would you mind helping? 459 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,245 No? Okay. 460 00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:18,048 [ sal and q laugh ] 461 00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:19,784 Oh, shoot! 462 00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:21,852 Oh! Oh, god. Murr: They're really good at that fall. 463 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:23,053 Oh, my god. 464 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,123 Wait. Can we get your help? I'm serious. 465 00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,991 Sal: "what's your name?" what's your name? 466 00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,058 Zoe. Zoe. 467 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,259 "terrible name." 468 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,928 -That's a horrible name. -I'm sorry. 469 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:34,198 Just, anything with a "z" doesn't have that, like, 470 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,733 -Je ne sais quoi. -Here. 471 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,401 "lose the glasses, first terminator." 472 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:40,404 Were those glasses from the first "terminator" movie? 473 00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:42,606 Did you -- were they from ebay? 474 00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:45,075 Your roots are showing. I'm sorry. 475 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:48,346 Oh! All right, all right. That's -- you guys lose. 476 00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:49,547 Where you going? Come back! 477 00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:50,948 Sal: She's already 20 feet away. 478 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,817 There was no need for the last insult. 479 00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:56,420 No, that one was personal. That one was personal. 480 00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,555 [ laughter ] 481 00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,757 Oh, shit. I just lost. Murray, that's a loss, dude. 482 00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:01,225 I just lost 'cause of you guys. 483 00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:02,560 [ buzzer ] 484 00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:05,029 Narrator: Murr couldn't pedal his way to a win, 485 00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:08,032 Making him tonight's big loser. 486 00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:10,500 Well, murr lost, and for his punishment, 487 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,703 We're here at federal hall national memorial, 488 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:16,974 Where george washington gave the very first inaugural address. 489 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,976 Wow. [ whistles ] cool, right? Yes. 490 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,445 And in a few moments, a walking tour group is starting here. 491 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,847 They're taking a tour that's ending nearby at fraunces tavern 492 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,783 To witness a historical re-enactment. 493 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,518 Okay. And you, my friend, 494 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,120 Have the distinct honor of playing the man himself, 495 00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:31,321 George washington. 496 00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,190 Big shoes to fill. That's right, that's right. 497 00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,658 I know it sounds fun and dandy, 498 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,660 But this punishment's gonna suck! 499 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,729 It's gonna suck! 500 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:42,200 So this historical tour just ended here at fraunces tavern. 501 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,602 And murray is now dressed as george washington, 502 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,336 But he doesn't know what he's about to do. Q: There he is. 503 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:49,339 He doesn't understand what this re-enactment is about right now. 504 00:16:49,541 --> 00:16:51,409 General, please have a seat. 505 00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:54,278 Also, today, we have casey narrating this re-enactment, 506 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,546 As well as -- all of our staff 507 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:57,881 Is in this in one way or another. 508 00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:00,418 It's mid-December 1799. 509 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,887 Murr, this is gonna be the last few hours 510 00:17:03,089 --> 00:17:04,955 Of george washington's life. 511 00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:07,758 The general surveyed his farm again 512 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,961 And upon his return complained of a cough... 513 00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:12,696 [ coughing ] 514 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:15,232 ...And a hoarse voice. 515 00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:17,167 [ hoarsely ] my fellow americans. 516 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:21,171 I immediately sent for the washington family physician 517 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,240 To tend to the ill general. 518 00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:24,308 [ piano music playing ] 519 00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:25,843 Doctor, please, it's urgent. 520 00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:28,646 General, I came as soon as I could. 521 00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:30,648 Yes, I've come ill. 522 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,183 You're gonna want hirudotherapy, murray. 523 00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:35,853 I would like hirudotherapy. 524 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,055 I don't feel quite comfortable... 525 00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:39,790 Be kind of an arrogant dick about it. You want it. 526 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:40,991 Sal: Insist on it. 527 00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:42,126 That seems a bit extreme in this case. 528 00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:44,462 Extreme? We beat the british. 529 00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,530 Was that not extreme? All right. 530 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,932 We fought in order to be free men, 531 00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:50,067 To make our own choice-- what, choice... 532 00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:52,470 Let us begin the hirudotherapy, then. 533 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:56,073 What -- just to clarify... 534 00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:57,741 [ q and sal laugh ] 535 00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:01,011 ...What do you interpret hirudotherapy to be? 536 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,347 Sir, hirudotherapy is all about releasing blood 537 00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:06,016 From the body, which should help. 538 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,952 What? Those... 539 00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:09,353 Those are... 540 00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,421 Are those -- those are -- those are leeches? 541 00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:12,690 Of course, leeches. Of course. 542 00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,291 Those are leeches. 543 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:15,493 [ q and sal laugh ] those... 544 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,427 "huzzah for hirudo!" 545 00:18:17,629 --> 00:18:19,163 Huzzah for hirudo! 546 00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:20,764 [ laughs ] 547 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:23,300 This is how george washington actually died. 548 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:26,236 And we're hoping history repeats itself tonight. 549 00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:27,371 You've done this before? 550 00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:28,572 Casey: Sure. Once. 551 00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:30,641 Once. [ q and sal laugh ] 552 00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:31,909 Okay. 553 00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:33,777 Sal: George washington shaved his chest? 554 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:36,646 Shorn, hairless george washington. 555 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,383 [ q and sal laugh ] 556 00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:41,585 Q: It looks like a historical-themed porn 557 00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,053 Is about to start. 558 00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:44,322 [ laugh ] 559 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,324 Oh. 560 00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:49,193 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 561 00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:50,661 Let's see this arm. 562 00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,930 O-kay. Okay. Okay. 563 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,065 So we're just gonna -- okay. 564 00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:56,968 Oh, my god, here we go. 565 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:03,941 Murr: Those are leeches? Man: Of course, leeches. 566 00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,008 Oh. 567 00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:07,811 Q: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 568 00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:10,347 Let's see this arm. Oh, my god. Here we go. 569 00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,082 Okay. Okay. 570 00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:13,150 Is this -- this, uh... 571 00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:14,151 So we're just gonna... 572 00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:15,819 Okay. Okay. 573 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,622 So just... Let me know once you feel it pinch you. 574 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,357 It doesn't seem to like me. 575 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:24,361 Sal: The leech is being repelled by murray's blood? 576 00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:27,631 A bloodsucking leech gets put on murray and is like, "pass." 577 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:28,832 "no, thanks." 578 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,434 [ both laugh ] 579 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:32,169 Another fun leech fact -- 580 00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:33,303 They can suck from both sides. 581 00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:34,171 Like murray. 582 00:19:34,373 --> 00:19:36,373 Oh! That was something. 583 00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,108 [ q and sal laugh ] 584 00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:42,512 That's a feeling that I have not had before. 585 00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:44,248 It's the feeling of healing. 586 00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:46,183 [ q and sal laugh ] 587 00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:49,719 Q: Oh, some woman's leaving. She's out. 588 00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:51,321 Yes? Maybe, george, why don't you 589 00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,924 Lean back a little bit? And we'll try to do a few tubes. 590 00:19:55,261 --> 00:19:57,727 You're just sticking it on? Geez! 591 00:19:57,929 --> 00:19:59,729 That's just -- oh, god! 592 00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:02,065 Oh! Oh! 593 00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:03,600 [ laughs ] 594 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,002 [ laughing ] look at this woman. 595 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,271 Oh, yes! That one's attached now, too. 596 00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:08,872 Man: Okay. We have two attached. 597 00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:11,008 -Ohh! -Best of luck to you, sir. 598 00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,343 Thank you. I think -- it feels like it's going to work. 599 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,412 Ha ha! Oh! 600 00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:18,949 And then soon, another doctor arrived to help the general. 601 00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:20,350 Hello, doctor. 602 00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:22,019 Man: General washington... Ooh! 603 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:25,088 ...It's truly an honor to grace your presence. 604 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:26,556 Please tell me the problem. 605 00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:28,091 One moment. That is... 606 00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:31,228 Eww! They're alternating now. 607 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,296 [ stammering ] 608 00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:36,099 Ooh! For a moment, they were in synchronicity. 609 00:20:36,101 --> 00:20:38,101 And then now they've gone out of sync. 610 00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:41,171 So it's just a perpetual crunch and crunch, 611 00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:42,439 And crunch, and crunch. 612 00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:43,907 "more leeches!" 613 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,843 More leeches is what I need! 614 00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:48,645 I'd really prefer to just give you maybe a tonic. 615 00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:50,580 Sal: "give me more leeches now." 616 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,648 I don't see how more leeches can be the... 617 00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:53,717 Give me more leeches now! 618 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,118 Sal: Slapped, too. 619 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,786 Do you understand?! I'm the pres-- 620 00:20:56,788 --> 00:20:57,921 [ coughing ] 621 00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,189 More leeches! 622 00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:02,125 The majority of people watching are not amused. 623 00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:03,660 [ q and sal laugh ] 624 00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:05,863 Oh, geez. Oh, no, no. Oh, god. 625 00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:07,731 Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god. 626 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,266 Yes, yes. Do it. 627 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,735 [ groans ] 628 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,803 An -- an -- an interesting sensation 629 00:21:14,005 --> 00:21:15,272 Is having another leech put on me 630 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,341 When the first two are biting. 631 00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:19,008 Now, a leech's saliva is -- 632 00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:21,345 Enough of the facts! 633 00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:23,947 Yeah, sometimes they crawl around first 634 00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:27,017 Until they find the exact spot that pleases them most. 635 00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:28,752 Yes. Another person's leaving. 636 00:21:28,754 --> 00:21:30,020 [ q and sal laugh ] 637 00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:32,422 Ooh-hoo-hoo! Ooh! 638 00:21:32,424 --> 00:21:34,624 Thank you so much, nurse! 639 00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:37,627 Thank you for healing me. Oh-ho! 640 00:21:37,829 --> 00:21:39,563 I was hoping you'd regale me, perhaps, 641 00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:41,298 With the speech you gave to your troops 642 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:42,900 At the river delaware. 643 00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:44,768 -"of course." -the one on horseback. 644 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:47,304 Of course. Let me just... 645 00:21:47,506 --> 00:21:48,972 Ooh-hoo-hoo. Ooh. 646 00:21:49,174 --> 00:21:51,374 Go ahead, murr. Give the speech you gave. 647 00:21:51,377 --> 00:21:54,578 Q: [ laughs ] 648 00:21:54,580 --> 00:21:57,714 Look. This woman can't look up. 649 00:21:57,717 --> 00:21:59,849 Murr, go back and -- look at the shot. 650 00:22:00,051 --> 00:22:01,585 [ q and sal laugh ] 651 00:22:01,587 --> 00:22:02,986 Give the speech. Don't just... 652 00:22:03,188 --> 00:22:04,654 Murr, give a speech. 653 00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:07,324 Americans, we will not surrender. 654 00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:09,192 We will not fail. 655 00:22:09,194 --> 00:22:13,731 Today we celebrate our independence day. 656 00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:15,999 [ q and sal laugh ] 657 00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:17,601 Nice, buddy. Nice. 658 00:22:17,603 --> 00:22:19,536 That speech zapped his energy, 659 00:22:19,738 --> 00:22:23,473 And washington then collapsed back into bed. 660 00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:24,942 ♪♪ 661 00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:28,878 Washington called out for his beloved wife, martha, 662 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,081 To join him for one last dance. 663 00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:34,017 Aka murray's wife, melyssa. 664 00:22:34,219 --> 00:22:36,486 [ weakly ] martha, you came when I called. 665 00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:37,487 My love. 666 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:38,488 [ laughing ] yes. 667 00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:39,823 I'm gonna stay right here. 668 00:22:39,825 --> 00:22:41,424 [ q and sal laugh ] 669 00:22:41,427 --> 00:22:42,826 She wants nothing to do with him. 670 00:22:42,828 --> 00:22:44,428 You've been the best part of my life. 671 00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:46,630 Please stop doing things like this. 672 00:22:46,832 --> 00:22:48,498 [ q and sal laugh ] 673 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,367 Casey: They danced late into the night, 674 00:22:50,569 --> 00:22:52,569 Hitting all of general washington's 675 00:22:52,771 --> 00:22:53,837 Favorite dances -- 676 00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:55,572 The charleston. 677 00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:57,240 Q: Oh, murr. Yeah. Dance the charleston. 678 00:22:57,242 --> 00:22:59,709 [ q and sal laugh ] 679 00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:02,512 Casey: Walk like an egyptian. 680 00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,982 [ q and sal laugh ] 681 00:23:06,251 --> 00:23:09,186 And, of course, the new macarena. 682 00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,388 Q: A leech fell off! 683 00:23:11,590 --> 00:23:14,057 -Ah! -Oh, the -- 684 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:16,526 Casey: That is sending some of the leeches off. 685 00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:19,396 Q: Someone else left. [ laughs ] 686 00:23:19,598 --> 00:23:20,998 Oh, there's blood on his chest. 687 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,267 Casey: Using the last of his strength, in order to win a bet, 688 00:23:24,269 --> 00:23:28,738 George washington signaled for his beloved hula-hoop. 689 00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:31,408 [ q and sal laugh ] 690 00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:34,344 Go ahead, murr. You got 60 minutes. 691 00:23:34,546 --> 00:23:36,280 [ q and sal laugh ] 692 00:23:37,683 --> 00:23:39,549 A hula-hoop should be at the end of every punishment now. 693 00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:41,151 Everything, everything. Every one of his. 694 00:23:41,353 --> 00:23:42,352 [ laughing ] okay. 695 00:23:42,554 --> 00:23:43,821 Oh! 696 00:23:44,023 --> 00:23:45,622 Casey: All right. Let's see if you can break your old record 697 00:23:45,824 --> 00:23:48,558 Of 1 minute and 20 seconds. 698 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,094 His bet was that he could do it for an hour straight. 699 00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:52,496 Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! 700 00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:55,565 There was a lot of talk from general washington about this. 701 00:23:55,567 --> 00:23:57,367 [ q and sal laugh ] 702 00:23:57,369 --> 00:23:59,703 Understand -- I did it in college. 703 00:23:59,705 --> 00:24:02,306 [ q and sal laugh ] I did it in college.