1 00:01:05,554 --> 00:01:07,556 (SURRENDER PLAYING) 2 00:01:19,407 --> 00:01:20,549 ♪ Mother told me 3 00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:23,111 ♪ Yes, she told me 4 00:01:23,211 --> 00:01:26,194 ♪ That I'd meet girls like you 5 00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:27,876 ♪ She also told me 6 00:01:27,975 --> 00:01:30,318 ♪ Stay away You'll never know 7 00:01:30,418 --> 00:01:32,420 ♪ What you'll catch 8 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,264 (TIRES SCREECHING) 9 00:01:36,825 --> 00:01:38,126 Cooper, it's open. 10 00:01:38,225 --> 00:01:40,228 It's open? Come on! 11 00:01:42,029 --> 00:01:44,252 It's supposed to be awesome. 12 00:01:44,352 --> 00:01:47,775 COOPER: Thank you. Hey, give me back my quarters, you hoser! 13 00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:49,877 mum! 14 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:54,182 ♪ They just seem a little weird 15 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:58,106 ♪ Surrender, surrender 16 00:01:58,206 --> 00:02:03,291 ♪ But don't give yourself away 17 00:02:21,748 --> 00:02:26,954 ♪ Whatever happened to all this season's losers of the year? 18 00:02:28,435 --> 00:02:32,099 ♪ Every time I got to thinking 19 00:02:32,199 --> 00:02:35,661 ♪ Where'd they disappear? 20 00:02:35,762 --> 00:02:38,786 ♪ But when I woke up, mum and Dad 21 00:02:38,886 --> 00:02:43,149 ♪ Are rolling on the couch 22 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,252 Damn. 23 00:02:45,652 --> 00:02:47,654 What? 24 00:02:48,774 --> 00:02:50,397 I suck. 25 00:02:50,497 --> 00:02:53,240 ♪ Your mummy's all right, your daddy's all right 26 00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:57,964 ♪ They just seem a little weird 27 00:02:58,064 --> 00:03:00,005 COOPER: Wow, Sam. 28 00:03:00,106 --> 00:03:03,450 How are you so good at this? You've never even played it before. 29 00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,552 I don't know. 30 00:03:05,872 --> 00:03:07,873 There's a pattern to how they're moving. Watch. 31 00:03:11,277 --> 00:03:13,560 I don't see it, but you sure as hell do. 32 00:03:17,884 --> 00:03:20,005 ♪ Away 33 00:03:25,531 --> 00:03:29,075 ♪ Surrender, surrender 34 00:03:29,175 --> 00:03:33,039 ♪ But don't give yourself away 35 00:03:33,139 --> 00:03:36,122 ♪ Surrender, surrender 36 00:03:36,221 --> 00:03:39,325 ♪ But don't give yourself away 37 00:03:39,425 --> 00:03:42,387 Use the Force. Use the Force. (MECHANICAL HAND WHIRRING) 38 00:03:45,791 --> 00:03:47,793 (CHEERING) 39 00:03:50,755 --> 00:03:52,178 BRENNER: Hey, Chewie. 40 00:03:52,278 --> 00:03:53,779 COOPER: You're a superstar, dude. 41 00:03:53,879 --> 00:03:55,461 And it's time to show the world. 42 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,262 ♪ Surrender 43 00:03:57,363 --> 00:04:01,226 ♪ But don't give yourself away 44 00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:04,589 ♪ Surrender, surrender 45 00:04:04,690 --> 00:04:08,794 ♪ But don't give yourself away ♪ 46 00:04:08,894 --> 00:04:10,315 MAN: (ON PA SYSTEM) Attention, all contestants. 47 00:04:10,415 --> 00:04:12,457 The competition will start in 15 minutes. 48 00:04:14,219 --> 00:04:17,022 You too? That's so funny. 49 00:04:18,944 --> 00:04:20,445 Really? 50 00:04:20,545 --> 00:04:22,988 I think you're pretty darn foxy yourself. 51 00:04:27,993 --> 00:04:31,256 Lady Lisa, I'll love you till the end of time. 52 00:04:31,356 --> 00:04:33,298 Who are you talking to? Nobody! 53 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:34,699 (SOFTLY) We'll talk later. 54 00:04:34,799 --> 00:04:36,942 You're Ludlow Lamonsoff, the Wonder Kid, right? 55 00:04:37,042 --> 00:04:39,424 Who told you that? The government? 56 00:04:39,524 --> 00:04:43,228 'Cause I'm this close to figuring out the secret of the Bermuda Triangle. 57 00:04:43,328 --> 00:04:45,230 Wow, you don't have any friends, do you? 58 00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:47,112 Just my grandma. 59 00:04:47,212 --> 00:04:49,213 Yoo-hoo! 60 00:04:50,254 --> 00:04:52,717 Well, Wonder Kid, you can hang out with us. 61 00:04:52,817 --> 00:04:54,819 Really? (PEOPLE EXCLAIMING) 62 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,604 What's up, geeks and goobers? 63 00:04:59,704 --> 00:05:02,407 They call me the Fire Blaster! 64 00:05:02,507 --> 00:05:04,649 'Cause my hands are blazing fast, 65 00:05:04,749 --> 00:05:08,272 and also I will blast and burn all my competitors' weak-ass moves. 66 00:05:14,959 --> 00:05:17,141 You must be the local talent. 67 00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:20,945 If this was a fugly contest, I'd be in trouble. 68 00:05:21,045 --> 00:05:23,027 At least we didn't make up our own nicknames, Fire Blaster. 69 00:05:23,127 --> 00:05:25,109 Who cares who came up with it? 70 00:05:25,209 --> 00:05:27,231 It's totally tubular. 71 00:05:27,331 --> 00:05:30,754 Welcome, gamers, to the first annual 72 00:05:30,854 --> 00:05:34,238 Worldwide Video Arcade Championships! 73 00:05:34,338 --> 00:05:35,879 (CHEERING) 74 00:05:35,979 --> 00:05:38,402 Tonight, we have representatives here 75 00:05:38,502 --> 00:05:40,764 from the Guinness Book of World Records, 76 00:05:40,864 --> 00:05:44,047 as well as NASA, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, 77 00:05:44,147 --> 00:05:46,330 who will be videotaping tonight's competition 78 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,732 to be included in a compilation of 1982's 79 00:05:48,832 --> 00:05:51,214 news events and popular culture. 80 00:05:51,314 --> 00:05:54,418 That videotape will be placed in a space probe 81 00:05:54,518 --> 00:05:57,621 which will be launched by NASA into our solar system 82 00:05:57,721 --> 00:05:59,022 with the hope of connecting to, 83 00:05:59,122 --> 00:06:00,664 and perhaps providing a message for 84 00:06:00,764 --> 00:06:03,547 extraterrestrial life, should it exist. 85 00:06:03,647 --> 00:06:05,228 Oh, it exists. 86 00:06:05,328 --> 00:06:07,430 Ladies and gentlemen, 87 00:06:07,530 --> 00:06:10,133 start your gaming! 88 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,457 (GAME BEEPING) 89 00:06:15,899 --> 00:06:17,901 (CONTROLLER CLICKING) 90 00:06:21,864 --> 00:06:23,326 All right, ladies and gentlemen, 91 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:24,727 what an evening we have had here. 92 00:06:24,827 --> 00:06:27,770 Six new US records set. 93 00:06:27,870 --> 00:06:30,413 Three new world records set. Oh, yeah. 94 00:06:30,513 --> 00:06:36,139 And, as the smoke clears, right now we have a tie. 95 00:06:36,239 --> 00:06:38,060 Two hundred and fifty-nine points (CHEERING) 96 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,543 for your new Pac-Man world champion. 97 00:06:40,643 --> 00:06:42,685 The Fire Blaster, Eddie Plant! 98 00:06:43,886 --> 00:06:45,428 (CHEERING) GIRL: Go, Fire Blaster! 99 00:06:45,528 --> 00:06:47,590 And 259 points 100 00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:51,233 for your new Galaga Centipede world champion, rookie sensation, 101 00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:53,476 Sam Brenner! 102 00:06:53,576 --> 00:06:55,578 (CHEERING) Yeah, Sam! 103 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:01,043 Well, gentlemen, how 'bout we break this tie. 104 00:07:01,143 --> 00:07:02,164 Let's play 105 00:07:02,264 --> 00:07:04,266 Donkey Kong! 106 00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:09,571 Good luck, man. 107 00:07:09,671 --> 00:07:11,413 Thanks. 108 00:07:11,513 --> 00:07:13,335 You have the patterns down pretty good with these games. 109 00:07:13,435 --> 00:07:15,437 You're gonna be tough to beat. 110 00:07:16,758 --> 00:07:18,760 (COIN DROPS) 111 00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:21,843 (WE WILL ROCK YOU VONLICHTEN PLAYING) 112 00:07:25,327 --> 00:07:27,509 ♪ Buddy you're a boy make a big noise 113 00:07:27,609 --> 00:07:30,952 ♪ Playing in the street gonna be a big man some day 114 00:07:31,052 --> 00:07:33,475 ♪ You got mud on your face You big disgrace 115 00:07:33,575 --> 00:07:36,157 ♪ Kickin' your can all over the place 116 00:07:36,257 --> 00:07:42,484 ♪ Singin' We will, we will rock you 117 00:07:42,584 --> 00:07:46,548 ♪ We will, we will rock you 118 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:54,535 You see, the thing about Donkey Kong is, 119 00:07:54,635 --> 00:07:58,579 at the higher levels the barrels become more random, possessed almost. 120 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:01,022 And playing by the patterns doesn't do the trick anymore. 121 00:08:01,122 --> 00:08:02,503 Does it, Brenner? 122 00:08:02,603 --> 00:08:06,247 ♪ We will, we will rock you ♪ 123 00:08:22,623 --> 00:08:24,625 Congratulations. 124 00:08:25,666 --> 00:08:27,828 On coming in second! 125 00:08:28,629 --> 00:08:30,631 (CROWD CHEERING) 126 00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:34,454 Fire Blaster is the world champ! 127 00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:38,098 The local yokel looked destiny in the eye and blinked. 128 00:08:38,198 --> 00:08:41,261 He's a loser, and he will always be a loser. 129 00:08:41,361 --> 00:08:42,662 Sam! 130 00:08:42,762 --> 00:08:44,545 Sam, Sam, wait. 131 00:08:44,645 --> 00:08:45,866 Sam, listen. 132 00:08:45,966 --> 00:08:47,387 You're still gonna go to MIT 133 00:08:47,487 --> 00:08:49,389 and invent something that makes you a millionaire. 134 00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:51,491 And maybe even marry Olivia Newton-John. 135 00:08:53,693 --> 00:08:55,955 I was actually thinking Samantha Fox. 136 00:08:56,055 --> 00:08:58,058 Nice, but she's no Sheena Easton. 137 00:08:58,657 --> 00:08:59,760 Well, 138 00:08:59,859 --> 00:09:02,041 there's always Madonna. 139 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,522 How about Scarlett Johansson? 140 00:09:03,622 --> 00:09:05,084 So hot. 141 00:09:05,185 --> 00:09:07,806 Mmm. Not Halle Berry hot, but so, so hot. 142 00:09:07,906 --> 00:09:10,170 And don't forget Katy Perry. 143 00:09:10,270 --> 00:09:13,093 What are we doin' right now? We're too old. It's just gross already. 144 00:09:13,193 --> 00:09:14,973 Plus, you're married to a woman who hates you. 145 00:09:15,074 --> 00:09:17,656 She doesn't hate me. She just doesn't get it, you know. 146 00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:20,819 We don't have the free time to do stuff together like we did 10 years ago. 147 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,502 This job is killing me, man. 148 00:09:22,602 --> 00:09:24,704 If I were you, 149 00:09:24,804 --> 00:09:28,668 maybe a half hour a day, turn off the cell phone, 150 00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:31,190 shut down the emails, put away the Reggie bars 151 00:09:31,290 --> 00:09:33,311 and focus on your wife. 152 00:09:33,411 --> 00:09:35,014 FEMALE NEWS ANCHOR: The President's gaffe-filled summer continued today... 153 00:09:35,093 --> 00:09:36,354 Hold on a second. I gotta see this. 154 00:09:36,454 --> 00:09:37,676 ...at Joseph Knibb Elementary School 155 00:09:37,776 --> 00:09:39,679 to promote his new youth reading initiative. 156 00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,160 Here's what happened. 157 00:09:41,260 --> 00:09:43,362 "Mittens jumped up onto the table 158 00:09:43,462 --> 00:09:45,524 "and knocked over the whole bowl of soup. 159 00:09:45,623 --> 00:09:48,087 "Mrs. Pickles gassed... Gasped." 160 00:09:48,186 --> 00:09:49,929 She gasped. 161 00:09:50,029 --> 00:09:51,609 (CLEARS THROAT) "And the whole room fell silent. 162 00:09:51,709 --> 00:09:53,612 "This was casta... 163 00:09:53,712 --> 00:09:55,694 "This is cast... (CLEARS THROAT) 164 00:09:55,794 --> 00:09:57,295 "Catatastrophic." 165 00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:58,697 Catastrophic. 166 00:09:58,796 --> 00:10:00,799 I got it, sweetheart, okay? 167 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:02,621 Why'd you yell at me? 168 00:10:02,721 --> 00:10:03,781 You're mean. 169 00:10:03,882 --> 00:10:05,863 Leave her alone. 170 00:10:05,964 --> 00:10:07,585 The President can't read. 171 00:10:07,685 --> 00:10:10,689 (GIRLS GIGGLING) 172 00:10:11,489 --> 00:10:14,392 (LAUGHING) 173 00:10:14,492 --> 00:10:16,395 You gotta learn how to read, buddy. It's as simple as that. 174 00:10:16,495 --> 00:10:17,876 (GUARDS SNICKERING) 175 00:10:17,976 --> 00:10:20,399 (SNICKERING STOPS) 176 00:10:20,498 --> 00:10:22,680 I was on three hours' sleep, all right? 177 00:10:22,781 --> 00:10:24,122 WOMAN: Your economics are hurting poor people! 178 00:10:24,222 --> 00:10:25,643 Nice to see ya! 179 00:10:25,743 --> 00:10:27,925 MAN: You've got the blood of innocent children on your hands. 180 00:10:28,026 --> 00:10:29,046 Thank you for your support. 181 00:10:29,146 --> 00:10:30,968 I can't afford to go to college because of you! 182 00:10:31,069 --> 00:10:31,949 (CROWD JEERING) That's a lovely dress. 183 00:10:32,030 --> 00:10:33,572 You're ruining the country! 184 00:10:33,671 --> 00:10:35,694 Yeah, we're all in this together, now. 185 00:10:35,794 --> 00:10:36,614 You got a rough life, bud. 186 00:10:36,714 --> 00:10:38,717 Sir? Okay. Thank you. 187 00:10:39,958 --> 00:10:41,498 But at least you have a life. 188 00:10:41,598 --> 00:10:43,621 Look, Brenner, you're meant for something more than this. 189 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,623 You just need to channel your genius into something productive. 190 00:10:46,723 --> 00:10:48,705 I mean, you were incredible at video games back in the day, 191 00:10:48,805 --> 00:10:50,588 but that's a useless skill now. 192 00:10:50,688 --> 00:10:52,630 It's like being a great blacksmith. 193 00:10:52,729 --> 00:10:56,633 Ooh! That hurt, man. That's catatastrophic that you said that. 194 00:10:56,733 --> 00:10:58,356 I'm gonna get you back for that. 195 00:10:58,455 --> 00:11:01,919 Mr. President, if you take away all the libraries, sir, 196 00:11:02,019 --> 00:11:04,021 how will the children ever learn to read? 197 00:11:04,702 --> 00:11:06,924 (JEERING INTENSIFIES) 198 00:11:07,024 --> 00:11:09,026 Blacksmith, over and out. 199 00:11:35,853 --> 00:11:37,854 (DOORBELL RINGING) 200 00:11:40,257 --> 00:11:43,400 Hello. I am a nerd from the Nerd Brigade. 201 00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:46,803 Here to nerd out on all your audio and visual needs. 202 00:11:46,902 --> 00:11:48,844 Do you have to say that every time you show up at a house? 203 00:11:48,944 --> 00:11:50,847 If I wanna get paid, yes. 204 00:11:50,947 --> 00:11:52,329 Isn't that kind of demeaning? 205 00:11:52,429 --> 00:11:54,411 Only if someone brings it up. 206 00:11:54,511 --> 00:11:55,232 Okay, I won't bring it up, then. 207 00:11:55,311 --> 00:11:56,573 Thanks. 208 00:11:56,673 --> 00:11:58,675 Come on in. 209 00:11:59,716 --> 00:12:02,017 So, what am I installing? 210 00:12:02,117 --> 00:12:05,342 (SIGHS) A new 85-inch, 4K, 3D TV, 211 00:12:05,441 --> 00:12:09,224 PlayStation 4, 7.1 surround-sound speakers. Mmm-hmm. 212 00:12:09,324 --> 00:12:11,708 Really, if you guys sell it, we've probably bought it. 213 00:12:11,808 --> 00:12:13,750 Huh. Is it your birthday? 214 00:12:13,849 --> 00:12:15,632 No, my parents are getting a divorce. 215 00:12:15,732 --> 00:12:17,834 Oh. So it's like 10 birthdays. 216 00:12:17,934 --> 00:12:21,798 Yeah, my dad cheated on my mum with his 19-year-old Pilates instructor. 217 00:12:21,897 --> 00:12:23,680 Her name's Sinnamon, with an "S" 218 00:12:23,780 --> 00:12:26,683 which really tells you all you need to know about her. 219 00:12:26,782 --> 00:12:28,685 No, I could hear a little more. You got any pictures? 220 00:12:28,785 --> 00:12:30,006 I'm kiddin'. I'm sorry to hear that. 221 00:12:30,106 --> 00:12:31,728 My mum kind of hates him right now. 222 00:12:31,828 --> 00:12:33,409 And she says she's gonna invent 223 00:12:33,508 --> 00:12:36,012 a slut-seeking missile to take out Sinnamon. 224 00:12:36,112 --> 00:12:39,234 Okay, Matty, you don't need to tell the nice installer man our whole life. 225 00:12:41,237 --> 00:12:42,657 Whoa. 226 00:12:42,757 --> 00:12:44,219 I'm sorry, "Whoa"? 227 00:12:44,319 --> 00:12:46,943 What? No, just you. Whoa. 228 00:12:47,043 --> 00:12:50,626 Me? Whoa? I don't even know what that means. 229 00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:53,309 I mean, it's just, when your son told me 230 00:12:53,409 --> 00:12:55,491 that your husband left you for a 19-year-old, 231 00:12:56,612 --> 00:12:59,915 I guess I thought you were gonna be, like 232 00:13:00,015 --> 00:13:02,438 one of those "hot when we first met in high school, 233 00:13:02,537 --> 00:13:05,901 "but then let herself go and got a potbelly and turkey neck 234 00:13:07,222 --> 00:13:09,164 "with a hairy chin." 235 00:13:09,263 --> 00:13:11,847 But clearly that's not the case. 236 00:13:11,947 --> 00:13:13,888 So more like, 237 00:13:13,988 --> 00:13:17,012 "Whoa, I should have brushed my teeth before I left the house this morning." 238 00:13:17,112 --> 00:13:19,574 Or studio apartment, if we're getting real here. 239 00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:21,676 Did you really not brush your teeth this morning? 240 00:13:22,276 --> 00:13:24,299 No, I did. 241 00:13:24,399 --> 00:13:27,362 I guess I should just start settin' this stuff up right now. 242 00:13:28,002 --> 00:13:30,005 Go get 'em. 243 00:13:35,449 --> 00:13:37,452 (TSKS) 244 00:13:39,613 --> 00:13:41,616 (CHUCKLES) 245 00:13:44,899 --> 00:13:46,641 Colonel Devereux. 246 00:13:46,741 --> 00:13:48,742 You need to see this, sir. 247 00:13:52,906 --> 00:13:54,909 We're under attack. 248 00:13:55,630 --> 00:13:57,632 (SOLDIERS CLAMORING) 249 00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:06,560 What the hell are those things? 250 00:14:06,881 --> 00:14:08,882 So are you a gamer? 251 00:14:09,363 --> 00:14:10,343 Uh... 252 00:14:10,444 --> 00:14:11,746 Yeah. 253 00:14:11,846 --> 00:14:13,988 I played when I was your age. 254 00:14:14,088 --> 00:14:15,829 Were you any good? 255 00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:19,233 I was pretty good at some of the classic games. 256 00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:21,716 Hmm. Classics. You mean like Halo and Call of Duty. 257 00:14:21,815 --> 00:14:23,918 No! The real classics. 258 00:14:24,017 --> 00:14:27,281 Defender, Pac-Man, Asteroids. 259 00:14:27,381 --> 00:14:29,203 Games you played in an arcade 260 00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:31,844 which was a building outside of your house. 261 00:14:31,944 --> 00:14:33,447 You would go there with your friends, 262 00:14:33,546 --> 00:14:35,809 listen to music, cute girls everywhere. 263 00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:37,991 In ancient times, they called it "socializing." 264 00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:40,853 What are you guys talking about? 265 00:14:40,954 --> 00:14:42,496 Video games. Video games. 266 00:14:42,595 --> 00:14:43,617 (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) 267 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:45,718 (CHUCKLES) 268 00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:50,924 I'll be right back. 269 00:14:53,166 --> 00:14:55,147 (KNOCK ON DOOR) BRENNER: Mrs. Van Patten. 270 00:14:55,247 --> 00:14:57,190 All finished up down there. 271 00:14:57,290 --> 00:14:59,072 I need you to sign the work order. 272 00:14:59,171 --> 00:15:01,174 VIOLET: (VOICE WAVERING) Okay. 273 00:15:02,415 --> 00:15:04,798 Mrs. Van Patten, are you in the closet? 274 00:15:04,897 --> 00:15:06,900 Yes. 275 00:15:08,021 --> 00:15:10,303 Not judging, but what are you doin' in the closet? 276 00:15:11,263 --> 00:15:13,266 I'm mostly crying. 277 00:15:14,026 --> 00:15:16,029 A little drinking. 278 00:15:16,628 --> 00:15:19,012 Probably equally crying and drinking. 279 00:15:19,112 --> 00:15:21,854 Something I do often, also. 280 00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:23,957 But why in the closet? 281 00:15:25,198 --> 00:15:27,660 Because I don't want Matty to see me. 282 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,762 (SOBBING) 283 00:15:31,444 --> 00:15:33,726 I'm comin' in the closet, Mrs. Van Patten. 284 00:15:34,526 --> 00:15:36,529 I'm opening the door. 285 00:15:40,051 --> 00:15:42,054 Are you all right? 286 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,717 I'm sobbing on the floor of my closet 287 00:15:44,816 --> 00:15:46,439 drinking Chardonnay out of a sippy cup. 288 00:15:46,539 --> 00:15:48,079 So I guess not. 289 00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:50,181 Sorry. I withdraw the question. 290 00:15:55,026 --> 00:15:57,029 (SOBBING) Oh, God. 291 00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:00,051 Wanna talk about it? 292 00:16:00,151 --> 00:16:02,253 No. 293 00:16:02,353 --> 00:16:04,455 Yes! 294 00:16:04,555 --> 00:16:06,558 Yes. 295 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,803 Oh, God. 296 00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:16,829 Sir, we are in the midst of an aerial attack by an unidentified force! 297 00:16:16,929 --> 00:16:18,911 Activate the QRF. 298 00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:21,012 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 299 00:16:35,426 --> 00:16:37,429 (GRUNTS) 300 00:16:39,270 --> 00:16:41,271 (SOLDIER COUGHS) 301 00:17:03,174 --> 00:17:05,176 (SCREAMING) 302 00:17:09,180 --> 00:17:11,182 Mama! No! 303 00:17:17,148 --> 00:17:18,649 We were high-school sweethearts. 304 00:17:18,749 --> 00:17:20,451 Mmm-hmm. The perfect couple. 305 00:17:20,551 --> 00:17:23,453 Do you know that he proposed in a waterfall? 306 00:17:23,554 --> 00:17:26,096 I mean, a freaking waterfall. Smooth. 307 00:17:26,197 --> 00:17:28,659 But now, according to a text I got 20 minutes ago, 308 00:17:28,759 --> 00:17:31,081 he's marrying a 19-year-old named after a spice. 309 00:17:32,482 --> 00:17:34,225 It's not even spelled correctly. 310 00:17:34,325 --> 00:17:36,326 Mmm. (SCOFFS) 311 00:17:37,847 --> 00:17:40,551 It's just not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life. 312 00:17:40,651 --> 00:17:43,033 Oh, God. I hear that. (SIGHS) 313 00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:46,877 I was supposed to have a baby with my ex-wife. 314 00:17:46,977 --> 00:17:49,078 And the doctor who was helping us make the baby 315 00:17:49,179 --> 00:17:50,841 did help us make the baby. 316 00:17:50,941 --> 00:17:52,942 But, unfortunately, I wasn't in the room. 317 00:17:55,345 --> 00:17:57,346 (TOOTS SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT) 318 00:18:03,393 --> 00:18:05,435 Maybe this really is all for the best. 319 00:18:06,156 --> 00:18:07,657 How do you mean? 320 00:18:07,757 --> 00:18:09,699 You already married the wrong guy. 321 00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:11,541 You got the worst part over with. 322 00:18:11,641 --> 00:18:13,803 True, and you married the wrong girl. 323 00:18:17,247 --> 00:18:19,729 Maybe it just means we're gonna meet the right person now. 324 00:18:24,294 --> 00:18:25,914 Yeah. 325 00:18:26,015 --> 00:18:28,017 Yeah. 326 00:18:34,182 --> 00:18:36,185 Whoa! 327 00:18:36,546 --> 00:18:38,528 Are you trying to kiss me? 328 00:18:38,628 --> 00:18:40,750 Absolutely not. Oh, God. 329 00:18:42,151 --> 00:18:43,853 Sorry, I thought we were having a moment. 330 00:18:43,952 --> 00:18:45,955 We were. A moment. 331 00:18:47,797 --> 00:18:50,940 Look, you seem like a very nice guy, but I just met you, okay? 332 00:18:51,039 --> 00:18:52,581 And, no offense, 333 00:18:52,681 --> 00:18:56,424 I don't think my rebound guy is a 210-pound person 334 00:18:56,525 --> 00:18:58,687 that installs flat screens for a living. 335 00:18:59,288 --> 00:19:01,710 First of all, 208. 336 00:19:01,810 --> 00:19:04,994 And, wow, I didn't peg you as the snobby type. 337 00:19:05,094 --> 00:19:06,956 Snob? Me? 338 00:19:07,056 --> 00:19:08,197 (CHUCKLING) Okay. 339 00:19:08,297 --> 00:19:10,199 I am not a snob. 340 00:19:10,298 --> 00:19:13,122 Okay, well, let's just say I was a billionaire, 341 00:19:13,221 --> 00:19:15,084 and we were out on my giant yacht 342 00:19:15,183 --> 00:19:17,566 in the middle of the Mediterranean, sipping champagne, 343 00:19:17,666 --> 00:19:19,208 and I went in to kiss you. 344 00:19:19,307 --> 00:19:21,310 Would you have kissed me back, then? 345 00:19:23,071 --> 00:19:25,073 (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) Hold that thought, snobby. 346 00:19:26,755 --> 00:19:28,256 Big Man! 347 00:19:28,355 --> 00:19:30,097 COOPER: Can you get to the White House right now? 348 00:19:30,198 --> 00:19:32,200 I'll be there in 15. 349 00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:34,583 While I'd love to stick around 350 00:19:34,682 --> 00:19:37,265 and listen to you lie about not wanting to make out with the yacht guy, 351 00:19:37,365 --> 00:19:39,427 I have to go. 352 00:19:39,527 --> 00:19:41,830 For the record, I'm an amazing kisser. 353 00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:43,230 All us nerds are. 354 00:19:43,331 --> 00:19:46,274 'Cause we appreciate it more. 355 00:19:46,374 --> 00:19:48,957 You didn't even brush your teeth this morning. 356 00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:51,058 I ate a Tic Tac. 357 00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:53,861 (DOOR CLOSING) 358 00:20:08,075 --> 00:20:10,418 Too late, sweetheart. You had your shot and ya blew it. 359 00:20:10,518 --> 00:20:12,460 I'm not following you. 360 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:15,363 Yeah, whatever you say, stalky. It's over. Deal with it. 361 00:20:18,566 --> 00:20:20,567 (TIRES SCREECHING) 362 00:20:25,853 --> 00:20:28,836 Whoa, she went from zero to psycho in 3.4 seconds, 363 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,938 a new world record. 364 00:20:32,740 --> 00:20:34,741 (TIRES SCREECHING) 365 00:20:45,392 --> 00:20:46,933 BRENNER: Hey, Steve-O. 366 00:20:47,034 --> 00:20:48,414 There's a crazy woman following me. 367 00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:50,336 I guarantee she's here to shoot the President. 368 00:20:50,437 --> 00:20:52,379 And if I were you, I'd break out the billy club 369 00:20:52,479 --> 00:20:54,480 and go full throttle on her, seriously. 370 00:21:02,288 --> 00:21:04,291 Go right on through, Lieutenant Colonel. 371 00:21:10,016 --> 00:21:12,198 At this point, it's primarily data collection. (BRENNER SIGHS) 372 00:21:12,298 --> 00:21:13,279 Why are you following me? 373 00:21:13,380 --> 00:21:14,601 Oh, God. 374 00:21:14,701 --> 00:21:18,044 Oh, God. I can't believe they even let you in here. 375 00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:20,166 BRENNER: Right. 376 00:21:20,266 --> 00:21:23,450 Colonel Van Patten, you can go right into the Situation Room. 377 00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:25,291 Yeah, see, they need me in the Situation Room, 378 00:21:25,391 --> 00:21:26,312 so have fun doing whatever you're doing. 379 00:21:26,392 --> 00:21:28,374 Mmm. 380 00:21:28,474 --> 00:21:30,516 Mr. Brenner, the President is waiting for you in the Oval Office. 381 00:21:32,478 --> 00:21:34,760 (MOCKINGLY) Somebody's more important. 382 00:21:40,286 --> 00:21:42,768 Freddy, can you keep the riffraff outta here? 383 00:21:48,453 --> 00:21:50,316 Yo, wassup? 384 00:21:50,416 --> 00:21:52,478 Oh, come on, you couldn't have at least changed? 385 00:21:52,577 --> 00:21:54,440 You told me to rush right over. 386 00:21:54,539 --> 00:21:57,083 What's going on, man? Why's it so crazy out there? 387 00:21:57,182 --> 00:21:59,404 (SIGHS) Our Air Force base in Guam was attacked. 388 00:21:59,505 --> 00:22:00,966 By who? 389 00:22:01,066 --> 00:22:02,327 I'm not sure. That's what I wanted to ask you. 390 00:22:02,428 --> 00:22:04,650 Come here. Check this out. 391 00:22:04,750 --> 00:22:07,032 Me? Yes, you. Come here. 392 00:22:09,074 --> 00:22:10,656 Listen to this. (KEYBOARD CLACKS) 393 00:22:10,756 --> 00:22:13,619 (DEEP WHIRRING) Does that sound familiar to you? 394 00:22:13,719 --> 00:22:16,542 Yeah. Where do I know that from? 395 00:22:16,642 --> 00:22:18,644 Can you freeze it? Yeah, hold on. 396 00:22:19,284 --> 00:22:20,906 Go in tighter. 397 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,008 (BEEPING) 398 00:22:23,969 --> 00:22:25,070 That can't be real. 399 00:22:25,170 --> 00:22:28,192 Okay, so you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing. 400 00:22:28,293 --> 00:22:30,936 What kind of mushrooms did that guy put on our burgers? 401 00:22:32,817 --> 00:22:35,440 They're ready for you, Mr. President. COOPER: Great. 402 00:22:35,539 --> 00:22:36,781 Now I gotta explain this to the National Security Council. 403 00:22:36,861 --> 00:22:38,243 Listen, do me a favor, Sam. 404 00:22:38,343 --> 00:22:39,845 Watch that again, okay? 405 00:22:39,945 --> 00:22:42,407 And just see if there's anything you can find to help us out. 406 00:22:42,507 --> 00:22:44,328 Yeah. Can I sit in your chair? 407 00:22:44,429 --> 00:22:45,890 No, you can't, and everything's recorded. 408 00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:48,192 Okay, I won't. I won't. I won't. 409 00:22:49,634 --> 00:22:51,635 I'm sittin' in the chair. Gimme a break. 410 00:22:52,517 --> 00:22:55,220 (ALL SPEAKING TOGETHER) 411 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,461 Mr. President, we told the press that it was 412 00:22:57,562 --> 00:22:59,703 an advanced weapons test that misfired. 413 00:22:59,804 --> 00:23:00,865 So there's no mass panic yet. 414 00:23:00,965 --> 00:23:02,267 Well, good. 415 00:23:02,366 --> 00:23:04,429 Then let's solve this thing before there is. 416 00:23:04,529 --> 00:23:06,911 Mr. President, someone's made a major breakthrough in drone technology 417 00:23:07,010 --> 00:23:08,393 and it wasn't us. 418 00:23:08,493 --> 00:23:09,994 CIA CHIEF: This has got Moscow's fingerprints all over it. 419 00:23:10,094 --> 00:23:12,437 Nonsense! It's an Iranian black-ops sideshow. 420 00:23:12,537 --> 00:23:13,597 I guarantee it. 421 00:23:13,698 --> 00:23:15,038 I have a theory. 422 00:23:15,139 --> 00:23:17,961 I think, based on analysis of the footage, 423 00:23:18,062 --> 00:23:21,185 that preliminary indications are that we were attacked by 424 00:23:22,546 --> 00:23:24,567 (MUMBLING) Galaga. 425 00:23:24,668 --> 00:23:26,490 By who, sir? 426 00:23:26,590 --> 00:23:27,932 Galaga. 427 00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:30,034 Sons of bitches. 428 00:23:30,354 --> 00:23:32,416 Then let's blow Galaga to hell. 429 00:23:32,516 --> 00:23:34,538 Who's Galaga? 430 00:23:34,638 --> 00:23:38,582 It's an old-timey video game, '80s kind of folks like my dad used to play. 431 00:23:38,682 --> 00:23:42,346 Mr. President, there is no nation on Earth that has the military technology 432 00:23:42,446 --> 00:23:45,028 to simply pixelate entire buildings. 433 00:23:45,128 --> 00:23:46,390 Except Iran. 434 00:23:46,490 --> 00:23:48,071 DEFENSE SECRETARY: Forget Iran! 435 00:23:48,171 --> 00:23:50,433 I'm thinking this is a cutting-edge multinational enterprise. 436 00:23:50,534 --> 00:23:52,916 An NGO, a think tank, maybe even a corporation. 437 00:23:53,016 --> 00:23:55,018 We're thinkin' Iran when we should be thinking Google. 438 00:23:55,659 --> 00:23:57,160 So let's blow up Google. 439 00:23:57,259 --> 00:23:58,442 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 440 00:23:58,542 --> 00:23:59,643 Can somebody take Grandpa's keys away 441 00:23:59,743 --> 00:24:01,745 before he drives us into a ditch? 442 00:24:02,786 --> 00:24:04,788 (PERSON CLEARS THROAT) 443 00:24:05,228 --> 00:24:07,891 Who is this person? The sandwich guy? 444 00:24:07,990 --> 00:24:11,815 This here is, uh, my old arcade game technical 445 00:24:11,914 --> 00:24:14,037 advisor person-guy. 446 00:24:15,158 --> 00:24:17,299 Sam Brenner. He works in the tech sector. 447 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,981 So Caltech, MIT? 448 00:24:19,082 --> 00:24:20,824 MIT. Yes. 449 00:24:20,923 --> 00:24:22,906 Mississippi Institute of Technology, though. 450 00:24:23,006 --> 00:24:23,947 Not the one you were thinking of. 451 00:24:24,047 --> 00:24:25,708 Anyway, more to the current point, 452 00:24:25,807 --> 00:24:28,631 uh, Mr. Brenner here was the World Galaga Champion. 453 00:24:28,730 --> 00:24:31,274 He knows everything there is to know about this game. 454 00:24:31,374 --> 00:24:33,836 So, what is it you and your orange shorts barged in here to say? 455 00:24:33,936 --> 00:24:36,919 Oh, just the Galaga that attacked us, 456 00:24:37,019 --> 00:24:39,162 that doesn't exist anymore. 457 00:24:39,262 --> 00:24:43,166 Hello. You can download Galaga on your phone for $1.99. 458 00:24:43,266 --> 00:24:45,888 Yeah, not this version though, Blue Lagoon. 459 00:24:45,988 --> 00:24:49,532 The Galaga that exists now came out in 1986. 460 00:24:49,632 --> 00:24:52,295 But this is the 1982 arcade version. 461 00:24:52,394 --> 00:24:54,817 And all those machines, they recalled them, they reprogrammed them, 462 00:24:54,917 --> 00:24:56,818 because there were glitches in the original code. 463 00:24:56,919 --> 00:24:59,702 You can see from the giant space bugs, the way they come swoopin' in. 464 00:24:59,802 --> 00:25:01,464 Kind of ziggy-zaggy. 465 00:25:01,564 --> 00:25:03,424 Ziggy-zag? Is that the snobby term? 466 00:25:03,525 --> 00:25:05,587 VIOLET: So someone designed these space bugs 467 00:25:05,688 --> 00:25:07,229 after an old out-of-print version 468 00:25:07,328 --> 00:25:08,990 of a video game from 30 years ago 469 00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:10,432 that nobody would know today? 470 00:25:10,532 --> 00:25:12,074 Does she really get to talk twice? 471 00:25:12,173 --> 00:25:13,555 She's not even at the grown-ups table. 472 00:25:13,654 --> 00:25:16,597 I'm sorry. Is this a National Security Council meeting, 473 00:25:16,698 --> 00:25:19,161 or a dorm-room drug party? 474 00:25:19,260 --> 00:25:22,524 Our nation has just been attacked by an unknown military force. 475 00:25:22,624 --> 00:25:24,766 If this gets out to the press that we're pinning the blame 476 00:25:24,865 --> 00:25:26,728 on some old computer game, 477 00:25:26,827 --> 00:25:30,072 they'll not only mock you in the news, Mr. President, they'd impeach you! 478 00:25:32,474 --> 00:25:36,618 So I suggest the man in the orange shorts leave the room immediately. 479 00:25:36,718 --> 00:25:39,821 And those of us with long pants and government positions 480 00:25:39,921 --> 00:25:42,524 can discuss our options. 481 00:25:45,326 --> 00:25:46,508 All right, Brenner. Do me a favor. 482 00:25:46,607 --> 00:25:48,610 Take off, all right? I appreciate the help. 483 00:25:48,930 --> 00:25:50,932 (MOUTHING) Bye! 484 00:25:51,853 --> 00:25:53,855 Sorry, everybody. (STAMMERS) 485 00:25:54,776 --> 00:25:56,778 Mr. President. 486 00:25:57,699 --> 00:26:00,161 Generals and Admirals. 487 00:26:00,260 --> 00:26:02,403 Guys in suits. 488 00:26:02,503 --> 00:26:04,565 Zac Efron. 489 00:26:04,664 --> 00:26:06,007 Gandalf, 490 00:26:06,106 --> 00:26:08,048 and Harry Potter in the same room. 491 00:26:08,149 --> 00:26:09,971 Imagine that. 492 00:26:10,071 --> 00:26:12,593 Grandpa, we'll see you around the, uh, nursing home. 493 00:26:14,515 --> 00:26:16,517 Oh, uh, the sandwich guy is here. 494 00:26:17,158 --> 00:26:19,160 Fooled you. 495 00:26:21,481 --> 00:26:24,986 COMMENTATOR 1: (ON RADIO) Past the shortstop into left center field for a single. 496 00:26:25,086 --> 00:26:28,669 That's the second straight inning where Washington has led off with a single. 497 00:26:28,769 --> 00:26:31,471 COMMENTATOR 2: They're talking about how he's standing straight up over the plate. 498 00:26:31,572 --> 00:26:32,993 That seems to be working out for him, 499 00:26:33,093 --> 00:26:35,556 'cause he just drove that ball into the gap hard. 500 00:26:35,656 --> 00:26:37,837 COMMENTATOR 1: First pitch taken outside for a ball, 1-0, 501 00:26:37,938 --> 00:26:39,240 and the 1-0 swung... 502 00:26:39,340 --> 00:26:41,341 Brenner! (SCREAMS) 503 00:26:42,663 --> 00:26:43,844 (TIRES SCREECH) 504 00:26:43,943 --> 00:26:45,766 (GROANING) 505 00:26:45,865 --> 00:26:47,607 What's your problem, dude? 506 00:26:47,708 --> 00:26:49,169 What's goin' on? 507 00:26:49,269 --> 00:26:50,451 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 508 00:26:50,551 --> 00:26:51,532 No, Brenner! 509 00:26:51,632 --> 00:26:53,614 No, Brenner, no, no, no! 510 00:26:53,714 --> 00:26:56,937 Stop! It's me! It's me! It's Ludlow! It's Ludlow. 511 00:26:57,037 --> 00:26:59,038 Ludlow Lamonsoff, the Wonder Kid? 512 00:26:59,399 --> 00:27:00,460 Yeah. 513 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,182 How'd you get into my van? 514 00:27:02,282 --> 00:27:04,423 I've been in there ever since you went to that nice lady's house. 515 00:27:04,524 --> 00:27:05,505 She's cute, by the way. 516 00:27:05,605 --> 00:27:07,606 What? Hey! 517 00:27:08,128 --> 00:27:11,510 What is that? This is moisturizer. 518 00:27:11,611 --> 00:27:13,613 Show me what that is. 519 00:27:14,294 --> 00:27:15,634 Chloroform? 520 00:27:15,735 --> 00:27:16,676 Is that what that says? 521 00:27:16,776 --> 00:27:18,358 You were gonna drug me? 522 00:27:18,458 --> 00:27:20,720 Only as a last resort. What are you... 523 00:27:20,820 --> 00:27:21,821 There was something I had to tell you. 524 00:27:21,901 --> 00:27:23,962 Why didn't you call me, then? 525 00:27:24,063 --> 00:27:26,446 Because the CIA has been tapping my phones 526 00:27:26,546 --> 00:27:28,768 ever since I found out the Zapruder film has been edited. 527 00:27:28,868 --> 00:27:30,870 JFK shot first! 528 00:27:32,592 --> 00:27:34,654 Ludlow, it is you! 529 00:27:34,754 --> 00:27:36,456 Hi, buddy! Let me look at you! 530 00:27:36,556 --> 00:27:38,257 Hey! Good to see you, my boy! 531 00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:41,140 How are you? My goodness! Look at you! 532 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,503 I know. Stayin' in shape! 533 00:27:43,603 --> 00:27:45,585 I'm on an all protein diet, but I'm also doing carbs. 534 00:27:45,685 --> 00:27:47,687 Good. But seriously, Brenner. 535 00:27:48,007 --> 00:27:49,909 There's something I have to show you. 536 00:27:50,009 --> 00:27:52,270 And let's just say 537 00:27:52,371 --> 00:27:54,373 (WHISPERING) it's a game changer. 538 00:27:57,736 --> 00:28:00,078 LUDLOW: You're the first guest I've had here. Voluntarily. 539 00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:02,181 That's a shocker. 540 00:28:07,666 --> 00:28:09,768 If Lady Lisa was real, 541 00:28:09,868 --> 00:28:12,770 she'd have about 17 restraining orders out on you. 542 00:28:12,871 --> 00:28:14,133 Actually, I think if she was real, 543 00:28:14,233 --> 00:28:16,055 things might just play out a little bit differently. 544 00:28:16,154 --> 00:28:17,456 Hmm? You wanna know how I know that? 545 00:28:17,556 --> 00:28:19,017 Mmm. If She Was Real. 546 00:28:19,116 --> 00:28:20,699 A book written and illustrated by Ludlow Lamonsoff. 547 00:28:20,798 --> 00:28:22,801 Oh, boy. 548 00:28:26,605 --> 00:28:28,626 (GASPS) 549 00:28:28,727 --> 00:28:30,828 You should sell that at Barnes & Unstable. 550 00:28:30,929 --> 00:28:32,591 Do you want a copy? No. 551 00:28:32,691 --> 00:28:33,991 I have eight others. 552 00:28:34,092 --> 00:28:36,634 Why am I here right now? Why did you try to roofie me? 553 00:28:36,735 --> 00:28:38,355 Right. Thank you for reminding me. Uh-huh. 554 00:28:38,456 --> 00:28:40,458 Okay. Follow me. 555 00:28:41,499 --> 00:28:43,201 Earlier today, our military base in Guam 556 00:28:43,301 --> 00:28:45,303 was attacked by this guy, Galaga. 557 00:28:45,623 --> 00:28:46,564 How would you know that? 558 00:28:46,663 --> 00:28:48,927 I have a pen pal in Guam. His name is Baubau. 559 00:28:49,027 --> 00:28:50,248 Baubau was terribly frightened, 560 00:28:50,347 --> 00:28:51,730 so I hacked into the government's servers 561 00:28:51,830 --> 00:28:53,531 to assure Baubau that everything was okay. 562 00:28:53,631 --> 00:28:54,652 But you know what? 563 00:28:54,752 --> 00:28:55,933 What? Everything was not okay. 564 00:28:56,034 --> 00:28:57,455 (DOOR OPENS) MICKEY: Ludlow! 565 00:28:57,555 --> 00:29:00,658 Did you get me some diet root beer while you were out? 566 00:29:00,758 --> 00:29:01,818 You remember my grandma. 567 00:29:01,919 --> 00:29:03,141 Sure. 568 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,703 She's still a character after all those years. 569 00:29:06,804 --> 00:29:10,388 No, no, Grandma! It's funny. I didn't get a chance to because, um... 570 00:29:10,488 --> 00:29:12,430 Oh, what happened? Oh, I remember now. 571 00:29:12,529 --> 00:29:15,873 (SCREAMING) I'm trying to save the world from annihilation! 572 00:29:15,972 --> 00:29:17,515 Are you nuts? 573 00:29:17,615 --> 00:29:19,317 You cracker! 574 00:29:19,417 --> 00:29:22,119 Don't yell at me! (DOOR SLAMS) 575 00:29:22,219 --> 00:29:25,403 So look, I know that sometimes people think of me as a bit of a conspiracy nut. 576 00:29:25,503 --> 00:29:27,044 Right. 577 00:29:27,144 --> 00:29:29,166 But sometimes, Brenner, sometimes 578 00:29:29,266 --> 00:29:32,048 the conspiracies are real. 579 00:29:32,149 --> 00:29:33,971 Have you been playing Space Invaders a lot lately? 580 00:29:34,071 --> 00:29:35,252 I have. How did you know that? 581 00:29:35,352 --> 00:29:37,354 'Cause you're invading my space. Back up. 582 00:29:38,515 --> 00:29:39,777 Brenner, do you remember when we were children, 583 00:29:39,877 --> 00:29:41,859 and we played in that video game championship? 584 00:29:41,959 --> 00:29:44,221 Of course, buddy. 585 00:29:44,321 --> 00:29:46,103 Do you remember how there was a tape of the event 586 00:29:46,202 --> 00:29:48,105 and all the games that were played that was then put in a capsule 587 00:29:48,205 --> 00:29:49,947 and shot out into the universe 588 00:29:50,047 --> 00:29:51,107 looking for extraterrestrial life? 589 00:29:51,208 --> 00:29:52,788 Mmm-hmm. 590 00:29:52,889 --> 00:29:56,953 I have reason to believe that some alien life force found that tape 591 00:29:57,054 --> 00:30:01,038 and has sent down real-life versions of what they saw 592 00:30:01,138 --> 00:30:02,839 to attack us. 593 00:30:02,939 --> 00:30:04,561 Brenner, I spent the day on 4chan 594 00:30:04,661 --> 00:30:07,203 searching for messages from the aliens to prove my theory. 595 00:30:07,304 --> 00:30:09,246 And you wanna know something? Tell me. 596 00:30:09,346 --> 00:30:11,208 I came up absolutely empty. 597 00:30:11,307 --> 00:30:13,610 So then, as a distraction, I got up 598 00:30:13,710 --> 00:30:15,372 to try to watch an episode of One Tree Hill 599 00:30:15,471 --> 00:30:16,972 that I recorded on my VCR last night. 600 00:30:17,073 --> 00:30:18,575 I've been binge-watching to catch up. 601 00:30:18,674 --> 00:30:20,817 And you don't have cable because... 602 00:30:20,917 --> 00:30:23,380 Because the government spies on us through our cable boxes, Brenner. 603 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:24,861 That's been proven. 604 00:30:24,961 --> 00:30:26,543 And you don't want them to see you dancin' around 605 00:30:26,643 --> 00:30:28,384 in your underwear for Lady Lisa. I get it. 606 00:30:28,484 --> 00:30:30,486 No, that tape was burned three months ago. Anyway... 607 00:30:32,488 --> 00:30:34,871 In the middle of the UHF broadcast, 608 00:30:34,971 --> 00:30:38,755 something peculiar interrupted Sophia Bush's sexy shenanigans. 609 00:30:38,855 --> 00:30:40,917 No, you're the freak with the fat... 610 00:30:41,017 --> 00:30:43,058 (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING) 611 00:30:45,981 --> 00:30:48,324 Inhabitants of Earth, 612 00:30:48,423 --> 00:30:50,766 we are a race from the planet Volula. 613 00:30:50,865 --> 00:30:53,529 We came to you in these familiar Earth forms 614 00:30:53,629 --> 00:30:55,851 to tell we received your vessel. 615 00:30:55,951 --> 00:30:58,334 And in it, your hostile challenge. 616 00:30:58,433 --> 00:31:03,379 We accept your offer to compete in winner-take-all battles. 617 00:31:03,479 --> 00:31:08,183 Gather your bravest warriors to face our bravest warriors! 618 00:31:08,284 --> 00:31:10,025 The winner takes the loser's planet. 619 00:31:10,125 --> 00:31:11,947 You have already lost the first battle. 620 00:31:12,047 --> 00:31:14,048 And for our victory, we have taken a trophy. 621 00:31:15,611 --> 00:31:17,613 I'm okay, Mama. 622 00:31:17,972 --> 00:31:19,975 I love you. 623 00:31:20,375 --> 00:31:22,376 That's not the real Madonna! 624 00:31:22,978 --> 00:31:24,799 You will get three lives. 625 00:31:24,900 --> 00:31:26,802 You have two lives left. 626 00:31:26,902 --> 00:31:30,605 Losing both will lead to the total destruction of your planet. 627 00:31:30,706 --> 00:31:33,208 The next battle is in 15 hours 628 00:31:33,307 --> 00:31:36,151 (VOICE DISTORTING) at coordinates 27° 24' 79". 629 00:31:37,192 --> 00:31:38,373 (FEEDBACK SCREECHES) 630 00:31:38,472 --> 00:31:40,295 Okay, I got lost about halfway through. 631 00:31:40,394 --> 00:31:42,417 Why does Madonna wanna take over our planet? 632 00:31:42,517 --> 00:31:45,901 These moron aliens think that the footage NASA sent up to space 633 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,902 of us playing video games in 1982 634 00:31:48,002 --> 00:31:49,624 was a declaration of war. 635 00:31:49,724 --> 00:31:52,387 Intergalactic war, Mr. President. 636 00:31:52,487 --> 00:31:54,509 Isn't that crazy? Isn't that unpredictable? 637 00:31:54,609 --> 00:31:56,230 Lud, listen. 638 00:31:56,331 --> 00:31:58,153 You helped unscramble my Cinemax when we were kids. 639 00:31:58,253 --> 00:32:00,235 I think you can call me Chewie. 640 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:02,356 What do they mean by three lives? What is that? 641 00:32:02,457 --> 00:32:05,279 Uh-huh. If I may. See, that's just it. 642 00:32:05,380 --> 00:32:09,003 It's like the video games of old, Chewie Mr. President. 643 00:32:09,103 --> 00:32:12,647 One quarter, three lives. 644 00:32:12,747 --> 00:32:15,129 This is clearly not a quarter. This is far more valuable. May I keep this? 645 00:32:15,229 --> 00:32:16,811 Put it back on the desk. Fair enough. 646 00:32:16,911 --> 00:32:18,932 We lost the first one, Galaga. 647 00:32:19,033 --> 00:32:20,695 Two more losses and... 648 00:32:20,795 --> 00:32:22,016 LUDLOW: It's game over. 649 00:32:22,115 --> 00:32:23,658 Now, assuming that... 650 00:32:23,758 --> 00:32:24,638 You know what, that's not happening. 651 00:32:24,719 --> 00:32:25,980 Fair enough. 652 00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:27,461 Assuming that Alien Madonna's numbers 653 00:32:27,561 --> 00:32:29,864 are actually latitude and longitude, 654 00:32:29,964 --> 00:32:32,907 then we can safely assume that the next attack should happen somewhere 655 00:32:33,007 --> 00:32:34,587 in Northern India tonight. 656 00:32:34,688 --> 00:32:37,391 If you can get your guys from the NSA to clean up the signal, 657 00:32:37,490 --> 00:32:40,514 then we can pinpoint exactly where the attack is gonna be, 658 00:32:40,614 --> 00:32:43,596 and maybe even which game they're gonna use to attack us. 659 00:32:43,697 --> 00:32:45,759 Right? I can't authorize a military response 660 00:32:45,859 --> 00:32:47,760 based off a video that looks like 661 00:32:47,861 --> 00:32:49,923 it was made by a couple high school kids. 662 00:32:50,023 --> 00:32:52,966 You gotta at least warn the people of India somethin' could be comin'. 663 00:32:53,066 --> 00:32:55,889 The whole country thinks I'm a buffoon right now as it is. 664 00:32:55,989 --> 00:32:58,151 Look, I can't risk it, Brenner. I just can't! 665 00:32:59,873 --> 00:33:01,214 (MAN SPEAKING HINDI) 666 00:33:01,314 --> 00:33:02,936 So I guess we've been dating for almost three years now. 667 00:33:03,036 --> 00:33:04,778 Yes, almost three. 668 00:33:04,878 --> 00:33:08,501 They have been the best years of my life. 669 00:33:08,602 --> 00:33:11,064 ...and I think we have something very special. 670 00:33:11,163 --> 00:33:14,608 Raj, is this what I think it is? 671 00:33:15,567 --> 00:33:17,570 (CHUCKLES) 672 00:33:18,010 --> 00:33:20,013 (TRUE PLAYING OVER SPEAKER) 673 00:33:23,016 --> 00:33:25,018 (MAN SINGING IN THE STYLE OF TRUE IN HINDI) 674 00:33:28,181 --> 00:33:30,182 Will you marry me? 675 00:33:33,066 --> 00:33:35,067 (SCREAMING) (EXPLOSION) 676 00:33:40,793 --> 00:33:42,795 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 677 00:33:57,769 --> 00:33:59,772 (GASPS) 678 00:34:02,134 --> 00:34:04,135 (SCREAMING) 679 00:34:11,223 --> 00:34:12,845 Don't sweat the whole Taj Mahal thing. 680 00:34:12,945 --> 00:34:14,286 It's probably better that there's only 681 00:34:14,386 --> 00:34:15,968 an even six Wonders of the World now. 682 00:34:16,068 --> 00:34:17,569 You know what? I get it. I screwed up. 683 00:34:17,669 --> 00:34:19,251 It won't happen again. Shut up. 684 00:34:19,351 --> 00:34:21,353 Good morning, Mr. President. 685 00:34:22,154 --> 00:34:24,857 What's Radio Shack Robbie doing here? And this other 686 00:34:24,957 --> 00:34:26,058 fella. 687 00:34:26,158 --> 00:34:28,540 Hi. Ludlow Lamonsoff. 688 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,422 We've actually met before, but you wouldn't remember 689 00:34:30,522 --> 00:34:31,783 because it was in the back of Brenner's van 690 00:34:31,883 --> 00:34:33,585 and I was watching you through a window. 691 00:34:33,685 --> 00:34:36,988 (SNIFFS) You smell so nice, like the Book of Genesis. 692 00:34:37,088 --> 00:34:39,751 Mr. Lamonsoff and Mr. Brenner 693 00:34:39,851 --> 00:34:42,154 have agreed to share their video game expertise with you and your team. 694 00:34:42,254 --> 00:34:43,395 Happy to do it. 695 00:34:43,495 --> 00:34:44,956 With all due respect, sir, 696 00:34:45,056 --> 00:34:48,240 having civilians with zero security clearance in this facility is... 697 00:34:48,340 --> 00:34:51,122 These civilians have better insight into our current crisis 698 00:34:51,222 --> 00:34:53,004 than my entire administration. 699 00:34:53,104 --> 00:34:54,085 I dunno if I wanna do it now. 700 00:34:54,185 --> 00:34:55,367 She's being so mean. 701 00:34:55,467 --> 00:34:56,888 I kind of wanna leave. Okay. 702 00:34:56,988 --> 00:34:58,610 If he leaves, I leave. We're a team. Stop it. 703 00:34:58,710 --> 00:34:59,591 This is how it's gonna be the whole time? 704 00:34:59,671 --> 00:35:01,092 Guys, knock it off. Lead the way. 705 00:35:01,192 --> 00:35:02,213 Of course, Mr. President. 706 00:35:02,313 --> 00:35:04,315 (DOOR BUZZES) 707 00:35:05,516 --> 00:35:08,099 So have we made any progress, Colonel? 708 00:35:08,199 --> 00:35:10,221 Enormous progress, sir. 709 00:35:10,321 --> 00:35:12,944 We now understand the entities that attacked us were made of energy. 710 00:35:13,044 --> 00:35:14,625 Intelligent energy. 711 00:35:14,725 --> 00:35:16,027 Morning, Colonel. 712 00:35:16,127 --> 00:35:18,129 Good morning, Michael. 713 00:35:19,010 --> 00:35:21,512 Michael's a robot! 714 00:35:21,612 --> 00:35:23,114 I think maybe the extraterrestrials 715 00:35:23,214 --> 00:35:25,036 took what they saw in the orbiter 716 00:35:25,136 --> 00:35:27,999 and recreated the same things using light energy. 717 00:35:28,099 --> 00:35:31,202 And then sent these light creatures back at us. 718 00:35:31,302 --> 00:35:35,206 That's why solid matter, bullets and missiles, won't harm them. 719 00:35:35,306 --> 00:35:36,447 Can anything harm them? 720 00:35:36,547 --> 00:35:38,649 Maybe. 721 00:35:38,749 --> 00:35:42,493 The cubes we recovered in Guam are normally pretty feisty. 722 00:35:42,593 --> 00:35:44,295 BRENNER: Hey, look at that! COOPER: Whoa! 723 00:35:44,395 --> 00:35:45,896 Oh, he didn't like it though. 724 00:35:45,996 --> 00:35:47,998 (GASPS) 725 00:35:48,559 --> 00:35:50,781 But they calm down pretty quick 726 00:35:50,881 --> 00:35:52,883 when we hit them with some super-charged light particles. 727 00:35:55,285 --> 00:35:57,307 And the slut-seeking missile, I'd love to see that. 728 00:35:57,407 --> 00:35:59,269 Do you have that around here? You are so smart. 729 00:35:59,369 --> 00:36:01,391 Yeah? You think so? 730 00:36:01,491 --> 00:36:03,994 Is that how you go into the Mississippi Institute of Technology? 731 00:36:04,094 --> 00:36:06,276 You know, I wish I never went in that closet with you. 732 00:36:06,376 --> 00:36:08,959 I was very happy drinking and crying by myself. 733 00:36:09,059 --> 00:36:10,640 I so regret trying to kiss you. 734 00:36:10,740 --> 00:36:13,223 I would kiss the guy in the yacht 100 times before I kissed you. 735 00:36:21,471 --> 00:36:23,473 Moving on. Yeah. 736 00:36:24,994 --> 00:36:27,457 We have begun instructing the Navy SEAL task force 737 00:36:27,557 --> 00:36:29,899 on the use of the prototype weapons. 738 00:36:29,999 --> 00:36:31,381 PORTER: What do we train for? SEALS: War! 739 00:36:31,481 --> 00:36:33,142 Why do we fight? To win! 740 00:36:33,242 --> 00:36:34,704 When do we quit? Never! 741 00:36:34,804 --> 00:36:36,466 What do we train for? War! 742 00:36:36,566 --> 00:36:38,147 Why do we fight? To win! 743 00:36:38,247 --> 00:36:41,070 When do we quit? Never! 744 00:36:41,170 --> 00:36:45,014 Perhaps our new expert advisors would like to say a few words to the SEALs. 745 00:36:45,975 --> 00:36:47,977 Oh, boy. 746 00:36:48,818 --> 00:36:51,280 Men, you have served this nation with distinction, 747 00:36:51,380 --> 00:36:56,565 in combat zones, in every nook and cranny of this godforsaken world, 748 00:36:56,665 --> 00:36:59,809 defeating every enemy they've thrown at you. 749 00:36:59,909 --> 00:37:01,130 (WHISPERING) Hey, what's up? 750 00:37:01,230 --> 00:37:02,451 Brenner? 751 00:37:02,551 --> 00:37:03,692 I couldn't get a babysitter. 752 00:37:03,792 --> 00:37:05,134 Oh. 753 00:37:05,234 --> 00:37:10,819 The president has brought in these two civilian Arcaders 754 00:37:10,919 --> 00:37:12,921 who we are required to listen to 755 00:37:13,402 --> 00:37:15,844 for 120 seconds, 756 00:37:16,365 --> 00:37:17,426 starting... 757 00:37:17,526 --> 00:37:18,747 I can't do this. 758 00:37:18,847 --> 00:37:19,868 You can do this. Uh, no. 759 00:37:19,968 --> 00:37:21,230 ...now! 760 00:37:21,330 --> 00:37:22,951 I can't do this. I'm gonna throw up! 761 00:37:23,051 --> 00:37:25,154 We know how to do this. They don't. Just act the part. 762 00:37:25,254 --> 00:37:27,236 Hey, guys. 763 00:37:27,336 --> 00:37:30,399 How are you? Hey, thank you, General Zod, for that beautiful intro. 764 00:37:30,499 --> 00:37:32,921 Hey, uh, fellas. Good to see you. 765 00:37:33,021 --> 00:37:34,723 Um... 766 00:37:34,823 --> 00:37:38,126 Let me introduce myself. My name is Sam Brenner. 767 00:37:38,226 --> 00:37:41,289 And this is the Wonder Kid, also known as... 768 00:37:41,389 --> 00:37:43,391 Your worst nightmare! 769 00:37:47,435 --> 00:37:49,217 Looks to me, Brenner, 770 00:37:49,317 --> 00:37:51,740 like someone forgot to send us the best of the best. 771 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:53,301 Oops. 772 00:37:53,401 --> 00:37:57,065 And instead, dropped off a bunch of incontinent, 773 00:37:57,165 --> 00:37:59,227 adult diaper-wearing, 774 00:37:59,327 --> 00:38:02,230 candy-assed, cries-himself-to-sleep, 775 00:38:02,330 --> 00:38:05,353 women-baby-man-people! 776 00:38:05,453 --> 00:38:07,315 What am I lookin' at right now? 777 00:38:07,415 --> 00:38:10,838 Are you guys soldiers? Or the cast of Magic Mike? 778 00:38:10,938 --> 00:38:13,341 You gonna fight? Or dance naked? 779 00:38:15,583 --> 00:38:17,565 From now on, 780 00:38:17,665 --> 00:38:20,648 you maggots, you little girl maggots... 781 00:38:20,748 --> 00:38:22,890 Whatever the hell the female form of maggot is. 782 00:38:22,990 --> 00:38:24,212 Magina? 783 00:38:24,312 --> 00:38:25,853 You magina! 784 00:38:25,953 --> 00:38:28,936 When you magina poop your pants, 785 00:38:29,036 --> 00:38:30,858 you're gonna be thinking of me! 786 00:38:30,958 --> 00:38:32,219 In your pants! 787 00:38:32,319 --> 00:38:33,861 You know what I mean. 788 00:38:33,961 --> 00:38:35,342 (LAUGHING) 789 00:38:35,442 --> 00:38:37,444 Do you feel me? 790 00:38:38,325 --> 00:38:40,327 Do you feel me, sailor? 791 00:38:41,168 --> 00:38:43,310 You beautiful Nubian man! 792 00:38:43,410 --> 00:38:45,773 You gorgeous specimen of what God can make! 793 00:38:47,494 --> 00:38:48,916 Do you feel me? 794 00:38:49,016 --> 00:38:51,018 I think you're about to feel him, Lud. 795 00:38:51,458 --> 00:38:53,400 I can't move. 796 00:38:53,500 --> 00:38:55,402 Lemme help you. Hey, come here. 797 00:38:55,502 --> 00:38:57,404 Sorry. Don't touch the guy. Just sit down. 798 00:38:57,504 --> 00:38:58,445 Did I do good? You did awful. 799 00:38:58,545 --> 00:39:00,547 Sit down. 800 00:39:00,988 --> 00:39:02,889 Sorry about that, everybody. 801 00:39:02,989 --> 00:39:04,851 I know it's weird. 802 00:39:04,951 --> 00:39:08,015 Two buffoons like me and this guy giving advice to you badasses. 803 00:39:08,115 --> 00:39:11,618 But the truth is we've been training. 804 00:39:11,718 --> 00:39:15,222 Since childhood, we've been training our prefrontal cortex 805 00:39:15,322 --> 00:39:18,545 to perform extremely complex motor feats 806 00:39:18,645 --> 00:39:23,830 with hand-eye coordination unique to a very specific cognitive acuity. 807 00:39:23,930 --> 00:39:27,213 I learned a lot of big words at the dorm-room drug parties. 808 00:39:27,313 --> 00:39:29,876 All of it's been meaningless in all areas of our life. 809 00:39:31,838 --> 00:39:37,223 But suddenly, it might be comin' in handy to saving our planet. 810 00:39:37,323 --> 00:39:40,787 So we're hopin' you guys can forget about us bein' civilian morons, 811 00:39:40,887 --> 00:39:44,911 and let us teach you a few things in the little time we have. 812 00:39:45,011 --> 00:39:48,274 I think we might help you win this thing. 813 00:39:48,374 --> 00:39:52,318 BRENNER: There is only one objective in Asteroids. 814 00:39:52,418 --> 00:39:56,562 That is to destroy every rock and every saucer. 815 00:39:56,662 --> 00:39:59,645 You don't wanna get hit by any of these boulders. 816 00:39:59,745 --> 00:40:02,728 That's why I recommend stayin' in the middle. 817 00:40:02,828 --> 00:40:05,171 Just 'cause you see a hammer doesn't mean grab it. 818 00:40:05,271 --> 00:40:07,293 You're not gonna climb a ladder with a hammer in your hand. 819 00:40:07,393 --> 00:40:09,215 Very good. Good piloting, Maverick! 820 00:40:09,315 --> 00:40:10,496 (GRUNTS) 821 00:40:10,596 --> 00:40:12,098 Don't lock into radar. 822 00:40:12,198 --> 00:40:14,300 Okay, it's fine, son. It's fine. 823 00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:16,742 You just blew up our entire planet. 824 00:40:16,842 --> 00:40:18,844 Ain't no way Inky's catching up to you! 825 00:40:21,727 --> 00:40:25,230 I want you to focus mostly on the ships. 826 00:40:25,330 --> 00:40:28,634 Every 10,000 points, you get another triangle ship. 827 00:40:28,734 --> 00:40:30,355 That's a good thing. 828 00:40:30,455 --> 00:40:32,518 (ARCADE GAME PINGING) 829 00:40:32,618 --> 00:40:34,279 Damn. 830 00:40:34,379 --> 00:40:36,562 He's still the master. 831 00:40:36,662 --> 00:40:38,043 COOPER: This is just like when we were dating. 832 00:40:38,143 --> 00:40:40,245 JANE: Aw. COOPER: No distractions, just us. 833 00:40:40,345 --> 00:40:42,167 (CHUCKLES) And cake. 834 00:40:42,267 --> 00:40:43,969 Whoa, Big Man. Settle down there 835 00:40:44,069 --> 00:40:45,330 with that butterscotch frosting. 836 00:40:45,430 --> 00:40:47,212 What? Too much? Well, you know what? 837 00:40:47,312 --> 00:40:50,135 You're really not gonna like what I do with the rainbow sprinkles. 838 00:40:50,235 --> 00:40:53,018 Come on now! No! I love it! Will! No! 839 00:40:53,118 --> 00:40:54,579 Here comes the sprinkle monster! 840 00:40:54,679 --> 00:40:56,681 (GROWLING) (CHUCKLING) 841 00:40:57,962 --> 00:40:59,544 Mr. President. 842 00:40:59,644 --> 00:41:00,825 (MUFFLED) Yes, Jennifer. 843 00:41:00,925 --> 00:41:02,627 We just received an alien transmission 844 00:41:02,727 --> 00:41:04,149 from the "Where's the Beef?" lady. 845 00:41:04,249 --> 00:41:05,270 (STUTTERS) What did she say? 846 00:41:05,370 --> 00:41:07,712 First of all, she asked where the beef was. 847 00:41:07,812 --> 00:41:10,675 Then she said that the next battle was on at sundown tomorrow. 848 00:41:10,775 --> 00:41:14,118 5130' 29" latitude. 09' 42" longitude. 849 00:41:14,218 --> 00:41:16,220 Where is that? 850 00:41:38,282 --> 00:41:40,284 Go! Go! Go! Move! Move! Move! 851 00:41:43,487 --> 00:41:45,489 (GRUNTS) 852 00:41:49,974 --> 00:41:51,675 Clear the area! 853 00:41:51,775 --> 00:41:54,358 The lot of ya, come on! Move it! 854 00:41:54,458 --> 00:41:56,400 I said, move it! 855 00:41:56,500 --> 00:41:58,922 What's all this then, mate? Hey, I got this. Hi. 856 00:41:59,022 --> 00:42:00,564 We're Americans. 857 00:42:00,664 --> 00:42:02,646 Our Navy SEALs were given permission by your government 858 00:42:02,746 --> 00:42:05,769 to prepare for an extraterrestrial invasion, 859 00:42:05,869 --> 00:42:08,592 which we believe will occur at these coordinates in approximately 60 minutes. 860 00:42:10,273 --> 00:42:12,275 We're shootin' a beer commercial. 861 00:42:12,716 --> 00:42:15,419 Oh, right, then. Break a leg, then, yeah? 862 00:42:15,519 --> 00:42:18,542 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that, man? Why'd you lie to him? 863 00:42:18,642 --> 00:42:20,844 I'm trying not to cause total panic, Yank. 864 00:42:21,885 --> 00:42:23,887 And, you... 865 00:42:24,487 --> 00:42:27,210 I don't want to hear another word out of you. All right? 866 00:42:29,492 --> 00:42:31,474 You walkin' wiener coat. 867 00:42:31,574 --> 00:42:33,576 What's a wiener coat? 868 00:42:34,417 --> 00:42:36,419 (SIRENS BLARING) 869 00:42:37,580 --> 00:42:39,442 Madam Prime Minister, I can't thank you 870 00:42:39,542 --> 00:42:41,204 enough for your cooperation on this. 871 00:42:41,304 --> 00:42:43,006 But of course, Will. 872 00:42:43,106 --> 00:42:45,368 Well, I trust with the concord of our powers 873 00:42:45,468 --> 00:42:48,091 we can duff up the jiggery-pokery of these blighters 874 00:42:48,191 --> 00:42:50,053 and send them scuffering back 875 00:42:50,153 --> 00:42:52,175 to the fractious firmament from whence they came! 876 00:42:52,275 --> 00:42:53,856 I know, right? 877 00:42:53,956 --> 00:42:55,338 Bang on! 878 00:42:55,438 --> 00:42:57,420 (CHUCKLING) 879 00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:59,522 (SOFTLY) No idea what she just said. 880 00:43:02,164 --> 00:43:05,147 I just wanna touch it. 881 00:43:05,247 --> 00:43:08,491 Easy with those light cannons, gentlemen. We don't have any backups. 882 00:43:09,652 --> 00:43:11,714 These ray guns gonna work, Van Patten? 883 00:43:11,814 --> 00:43:13,355 We had no way to field-test them, sir. 884 00:43:13,455 --> 00:43:16,238 But our computer models show a great likelihood of effectiveness. 885 00:43:16,338 --> 00:43:19,842 "Great likelihood"? You're sending my men into battle with untested ordnance? 886 00:43:19,942 --> 00:43:23,445 I had two days to do things never done before on this planet, sir. 887 00:43:23,545 --> 00:43:25,547 Just remember who you're talking to, missy. 888 00:43:26,468 --> 00:43:27,890 HILL: All right! 889 00:43:27,990 --> 00:43:29,972 Anybody who doesn't need to be here, 890 00:43:30,072 --> 00:43:32,074 follow me to the support area. 891 00:43:33,275 --> 00:43:35,277 That means you two nipple-twisters. 892 00:43:36,518 --> 00:43:38,520 Move it! 893 00:43:38,961 --> 00:43:40,962 Hey, Colonel. Don't worry. They're gonna work. 894 00:43:43,965 --> 00:43:46,748 The US military was attacked and what does President Cooper do? 895 00:43:46,848 --> 00:43:49,151 His critics say, "Nothing." 896 00:43:49,251 --> 00:43:52,474 That's not strictly true. He made a cake. 897 00:43:52,574 --> 00:43:54,476 No, because I'm the sprinkle monster! 898 00:43:54,576 --> 00:43:56,578 You are my sprinkle monster! (GROWLING) 899 00:43:57,379 --> 00:43:58,560 (COOPER CHUCKLING ON TV) 900 00:43:58,660 --> 00:44:00,662 Let's put that on pause, Sean. Thank you. 901 00:44:03,905 --> 00:44:05,407 Turn it off. (CLEARS THROAT) 902 00:44:05,507 --> 00:44:07,849 Apologies, Will. 903 00:44:07,949 --> 00:44:11,132 Just wanted to spend some quality time with the wife. 904 00:44:11,232 --> 00:44:12,574 Oh, I understand. 905 00:44:12,674 --> 00:44:14,415 My husband actually said that we don't 906 00:44:14,515 --> 00:44:15,817 spend time together like we used to, 907 00:44:15,917 --> 00:44:17,859 so I took him to one of those, um, 908 00:44:17,959 --> 00:44:19,701 do-it-yourself pottery studios. 909 00:44:19,801 --> 00:44:24,305 And he made me a "World's Sexiest Prime Minister" coffee mug. 910 00:44:24,405 --> 00:44:26,527 Well, maybe he sees somethin' that nobody else does, you know. (CHUCKLES) 911 00:44:28,569 --> 00:44:29,470 (CLEARS THROAT) 912 00:44:29,570 --> 00:44:32,233 Anything, Colonel Van Patten? 913 00:44:32,333 --> 00:44:34,335 It's eerily quiet, Mr. President. 914 00:44:44,024 --> 00:44:45,206 In case it's Space Invaders, 915 00:44:45,306 --> 00:44:46,106 I just thought of something I should tell... 916 00:44:46,187 --> 00:44:48,449 Please return to the support area! 917 00:44:48,549 --> 00:44:50,611 Okay, but there's a 5 plus 1 formation, all right? 918 00:44:50,711 --> 00:44:53,734 If we need ya, we know where to find ya. All right? 919 00:44:53,834 --> 00:44:55,836 Now, bugger off. 920 00:44:56,717 --> 00:44:58,719 Bloody geek. 921 00:45:37,597 --> 00:45:39,599 It's Centipede. 922 00:45:45,044 --> 00:45:48,067 Okay, boys! Do exactly what we talked about! 923 00:45:48,167 --> 00:45:50,350 Shoot each centipede from the head down! 924 00:45:50,450 --> 00:45:53,773 Do not hit him in the middle or he will split into two! 925 00:46:10,469 --> 00:46:13,332 No! No! Didn't we just say don't split him in half? 926 00:46:13,432 --> 00:46:14,774 Shoot for the head! 927 00:46:14,874 --> 00:46:16,876 The mushroom things are in the way! 928 00:46:18,277 --> 00:46:20,279 You shoot the mushroom things! Like the game! 929 00:46:23,962 --> 00:46:26,845 Guys, every time he hits a mushroom, he's gonna change direction! 930 00:46:29,528 --> 00:46:32,671 My God! Will you please find the pattern and anticipate! 931 00:46:32,771 --> 00:46:34,553 I don't know the patterns! 932 00:46:34,653 --> 00:46:36,655 Sergeant Duff! 12 o'clock! 933 00:46:37,776 --> 00:46:39,638 (GROWLING) 934 00:46:39,738 --> 00:46:42,140 (GROANING) 935 00:46:45,664 --> 00:46:47,666 (GASPS) 936 00:46:49,748 --> 00:46:51,690 (SNARLING) 937 00:46:51,790 --> 00:46:54,653 What the hell kind of beer commercial is this? 938 00:46:54,753 --> 00:46:56,975 If I say it's a beer commercial, 939 00:46:57,075 --> 00:46:59,117 it's a bloody beer commercial. 940 00:47:07,886 --> 00:47:09,888 Get your flabby ass back here, Yank! 941 00:47:31,309 --> 00:47:32,370 (ALL CHEERING) 942 00:47:32,470 --> 00:47:33,491 Shock and awe, baby! 943 00:47:33,591 --> 00:47:35,253 High score, alien trash! 944 00:47:35,353 --> 00:47:36,934 You messed with the wrong planet! 945 00:47:37,034 --> 00:47:39,056 From Land's End to John o'Groats! 946 00:47:39,156 --> 00:47:40,177 What the hell are you saying? 947 00:47:40,277 --> 00:47:42,279 I don't know! 948 00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:44,301 (GRUNTS) 949 00:47:44,401 --> 00:47:46,584 Hey, Ludlow! Grab a light cannon! 950 00:47:46,684 --> 00:47:48,466 Get out here now! I need your help! 951 00:47:48,566 --> 00:47:51,188 Me? No! Look at me! I look delicious! 952 00:47:51,288 --> 00:47:53,591 They'll gobble me up like space dim sum! 953 00:47:53,691 --> 00:47:55,633 (PIXELS CLICKING) 954 00:47:55,733 --> 00:47:57,234 BRENNER: It's level two! 955 00:47:57,334 --> 00:47:59,677 We're the only ones who can do this! 956 00:47:59,777 --> 00:48:01,719 Come on! You're the Wonder Kid! 957 00:48:01,819 --> 00:48:04,802 You have no authority to dispense weapons here, Mr. Brenner! 958 00:48:04,902 --> 00:48:06,763 Mr. President? 959 00:48:06,863 --> 00:48:08,865 Let the nerds take over. 960 00:48:09,826 --> 00:48:10,968 VIOLET: What was that, sir? 961 00:48:11,068 --> 00:48:13,110 Let the nerds take over! 962 00:48:14,951 --> 00:48:16,953 Let the nerds take over! 963 00:48:18,395 --> 00:48:20,397 Brenner's right. 964 00:48:21,117 --> 00:48:23,119 I am the Wonder Kid. 965 00:48:24,681 --> 00:48:26,683 (WORKING FOR THE WEEKEND PLAYING) 966 00:48:31,408 --> 00:48:37,914 ♪ Everyone's watching to see what you will do 967 00:48:38,014 --> 00:48:41,958 ♪ Everyone's looking at you, oh 968 00:48:42,058 --> 00:48:43,560 This is the best, huh? 969 00:48:43,660 --> 00:48:47,844 I've never been happier and more alive! 970 00:48:47,944 --> 00:48:49,946 (BRENNER LAUGHING) 971 00:48:51,027 --> 00:48:54,530 ♪ Everyone's trying to get it right 972 00:48:54,630 --> 00:48:57,333 ♪ Get it right 973 00:48:57,433 --> 00:49:00,777 ♪ Everybody's working for the weekend 974 00:49:00,877 --> 00:49:02,878 (PINGING) 975 00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,782 ♪ Everybody wants a new romance 976 00:49:06,882 --> 00:49:08,884 (SCREAMING) 977 00:49:10,646 --> 00:49:13,149 ♪ Everybody's going off the deep end 978 00:49:13,249 --> 00:49:15,411 Okay. You can let go of each other now. 979 00:49:17,213 --> 00:49:20,316 ♪ Everybody needs a second chance 980 00:49:20,416 --> 00:49:21,917 ♪ Oh 981 00:49:22,017 --> 00:49:25,681 ♪ You want a piece of my heart? ♪ 982 00:49:25,781 --> 00:49:27,783 All right, you finish that. I'll finish this. 983 00:49:30,426 --> 00:49:32,427 (TIRES SCREECHING) 984 00:49:33,949 --> 00:49:36,712 It's been 30 years since I kicked your butt, and it's gonna happen again! 985 00:49:37,432 --> 00:49:39,434 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 986 00:49:42,557 --> 00:49:44,559 (SCREAMS) 987 00:49:50,245 --> 00:49:51,987 With the arms! 988 00:49:52,087 --> 00:49:54,089 Let's take it forward. 989 00:49:55,570 --> 00:49:57,572 Then take it back. 990 00:49:59,294 --> 00:50:01,296 Enjoy it! BRENNER: Hey! 991 00:50:07,582 --> 00:50:08,843 Come here! 992 00:50:08,943 --> 00:50:09,884 (PEOPLE CLAMORING) 993 00:50:09,984 --> 00:50:11,986 You little... (GRUNTS) 994 00:50:20,915 --> 00:50:23,858 Who are you, mister? 995 00:50:23,958 --> 00:50:26,360 Son, I'm just a loser who's good at old video games. 996 00:50:27,161 --> 00:50:29,944 Well, thank God for that. 997 00:50:30,044 --> 00:50:30,845 Drinks are on the US government! 998 00:50:30,925 --> 00:50:32,927 (ALL CHEERING) 999 00:50:33,407 --> 00:50:35,109 Which is covering up the truth 1000 00:50:35,209 --> 00:50:37,211 about the ancient pyramid under the Hoover Dam! 1001 00:50:39,934 --> 00:50:41,075 You know, you're all right, Brenner. 1002 00:50:41,175 --> 00:50:43,177 You're all right too, snobby. 1003 00:50:44,098 --> 00:50:45,439 You gonna nurse that all night long, 1004 00:50:45,539 --> 00:50:47,241 or when are you gonna start hittin' it? 1005 00:50:47,341 --> 00:50:49,483 We ding up a few foreign belligerents, beer is fine. 1006 00:50:49,583 --> 00:50:51,846 We defeat a full-on alien invasion, 1007 00:50:51,946 --> 00:50:54,308 I'm thinking something a little stronger. 1008 00:50:55,789 --> 00:50:57,171 Mmm-hmm. No. 1009 00:50:57,271 --> 00:50:58,892 You're really challenging me to drink you under the table? 1010 00:50:58,992 --> 00:51:00,174 You got it. Oh! 1011 00:51:00,274 --> 00:51:02,696 I'm not so sure you can, buddy. 1012 00:51:02,796 --> 00:51:05,139 I was the vodka shot record holder in my class at West Point. 1013 00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:07,020 Well, one time I drank 15 milkshakes at Denny's, 1014 00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:09,663 so we'll see what happens. 1015 00:51:09,763 --> 00:51:11,985 Where are my gamers at, huh? (CHEERING) 1016 00:51:12,085 --> 00:51:14,828 Looks like all the time you wasted when we were kids is finally payin' off. 1017 00:51:14,928 --> 00:51:16,830 Yeah, baby. All right, huh? 1018 00:51:16,930 --> 00:51:19,713 Sir, may I have the honor of pouring you a frosty? 1019 00:51:19,813 --> 00:51:22,135 The president can't be seen drinking during times of crisis. 1020 00:51:23,737 --> 00:51:24,958 So nobody look! 1021 00:51:25,058 --> 00:51:27,721 That's it. Look away! (ALL CHEERING) 1022 00:51:27,821 --> 00:51:29,603 MR. ROARKE ON TV: (IN SPANISH ACCENT) Inhabitants of Earth. 1023 00:51:29,703 --> 00:51:32,585 Congratulations, you have won this battle. 1024 00:51:34,587 --> 00:51:38,231 Please accept one of our warriors as a trophy of your victory. 1025 00:51:41,314 --> 00:51:43,316 (LAUGHING) 1026 00:51:43,957 --> 00:51:45,738 (BARKING) 1027 00:51:45,838 --> 00:51:47,580 Aw. 1028 00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,943 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) The next challenge will not be as easy. 1029 00:51:50,043 --> 00:51:53,026 The details will be sent via this signal shortly. 1030 00:51:53,126 --> 00:51:57,510 Remember, we are still leading two battles to one. 1031 00:51:57,610 --> 00:52:01,594 One more loss for you will mean the annihilation of your world. 1032 00:52:01,694 --> 00:52:03,696 Good luck and may the best planet win. 1033 00:52:06,619 --> 00:52:07,920 COOPER: Well, you heard 'em. 1034 00:52:08,020 --> 00:52:09,442 Let's get back to work. 1035 00:52:09,542 --> 00:52:11,043 We gotta get you guys ready for your next battle. 1036 00:52:11,143 --> 00:52:12,765 Battle? Us? Huh? 1037 00:52:12,865 --> 00:52:14,847 This is like a regular thing now? 1038 00:52:14,947 --> 00:52:16,969 Remember when I told you that you were meant for something more in life? 1039 00:52:17,069 --> 00:52:18,771 Yeah. 1040 00:52:18,871 --> 00:52:20,493 This could be it, buddy. 1041 00:52:20,593 --> 00:52:22,094 There's nobody better than you. 1042 00:52:22,194 --> 00:52:23,656 LUDLOW: Well, 1043 00:52:23,756 --> 00:52:25,758 (INHALES SHARPLY) not at every game. 1044 00:52:26,398 --> 00:52:28,801 No. No! Never gonna happen. 1045 00:52:30,322 --> 00:52:31,784 You know, he's right, Brenner. 1046 00:52:31,884 --> 00:52:34,266 We don't even know where to find that idiot! 1047 00:52:34,366 --> 00:52:36,368 (SIRENS WAILING) 1048 00:52:38,810 --> 00:52:41,393 VIOLET: Eddie Plant. Married and divorced four times, 1049 00:52:41,493 --> 00:52:44,917 declared bankruptcy in 1991 and 2004. 1050 00:52:45,017 --> 00:52:47,599 In 2005, he was caught hacking cell phone companies 1051 00:52:47,699 --> 00:52:49,641 and adding one of those fees you see on your bill every month, 1052 00:52:49,741 --> 00:52:51,843 but have no idea what it is. What an idiot. 1053 00:52:51,943 --> 00:52:53,385 Made about 50 million before he was convicted and sentenced 1054 00:52:53,465 --> 00:52:55,467 to 20 years in prison. 1055 00:52:59,271 --> 00:53:01,973 Guards, get me outta here. 1056 00:53:02,073 --> 00:53:04,456 It's that mean Centipede killer. 1057 00:53:04,556 --> 00:53:07,579 I hope he don't zap me with his space gun. 1058 00:53:07,679 --> 00:53:08,940 How are you, Eddie? 1059 00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:10,942 'Sup, Second Place? 1060 00:53:11,042 --> 00:53:13,425 Oh! And your sidekick here, 1061 00:53:13,525 --> 00:53:15,827 Presi-donut. 1062 00:53:15,927 --> 00:53:19,510 I didn't know you can have an approval rating so catatastrophic. 1063 00:53:19,610 --> 00:53:20,952 Okay, look, Eddie, here's what we need. 1064 00:53:21,052 --> 00:53:22,273 EDDIE: I know what you need. 1065 00:53:22,373 --> 00:53:24,716 You need the Fire Blaster. 1066 00:53:24,816 --> 00:53:26,037 Who's the Fire Blaster? 1067 00:53:26,137 --> 00:53:29,400 Me. That's my nickname, sugar buns. 1068 00:53:29,500 --> 00:53:31,562 Oh, yeah. That's right. The one you made up for yourself. 1069 00:53:31,662 --> 00:53:33,164 Yeah. Who cares who made it up? 1070 00:53:33,264 --> 00:53:34,806 It's totally tubular! 1071 00:53:34,906 --> 00:53:36,207 Yeah. 1072 00:53:36,307 --> 00:53:41,052 See, this is why I don't think I can have Brenner on my team. 1073 00:53:41,152 --> 00:53:42,893 He's just not really a gamer. 1074 00:53:42,993 --> 00:53:44,175 Break out a bag of quarters. 1075 00:53:44,275 --> 00:53:45,536 Pick a game. I'll destroy you at it. 1076 00:53:45,636 --> 00:53:47,638 Oh, I'll pick a game, all right. 1077 00:53:47,998 --> 00:53:49,860 (GIBBERING) 1078 00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:52,143 Okay. I'm leaving. No, no, no. Hey, here, come on. 1079 00:53:52,243 --> 00:53:54,244 Sit down. 1080 00:53:54,725 --> 00:53:56,947 Okay, in exchange for helping us, 1081 00:53:57,047 --> 00:54:00,050 I will personally speak to the parole board about reducing your sentence. 1082 00:54:03,654 --> 00:54:06,156 Pass. Pass? 1083 00:54:06,256 --> 00:54:08,358 That deal don't work for Eddie Plant. 1084 00:54:08,458 --> 00:54:11,221 You want the Fire Blaster's help, he has some demands. 1085 00:54:11,862 --> 00:54:13,864 Demands? 1086 00:54:21,591 --> 00:54:23,593 The Bifocal Blaster is here, by the way. 1087 00:54:27,357 --> 00:54:28,658 I want an island. 1088 00:54:28,758 --> 00:54:30,140 Oh, my God. 1089 00:54:30,240 --> 00:54:33,103 There are 18,617 named islands 1090 00:54:33,203 --> 00:54:35,946 that are part of the United States and its territories. 1091 00:54:36,046 --> 00:54:38,989 Not to mention all the countless unnamed ones, 1092 00:54:39,089 --> 00:54:42,112 like the soon-to-be-called Edwahii. 1093 00:54:42,212 --> 00:54:44,754 Mmm. You're not getting an island. 1094 00:54:44,854 --> 00:54:47,957 Then I want a full pardon. I wanna get outta here for good. 1095 00:54:48,057 --> 00:54:50,560 And after I do, I don't wanna pay no taxes like, 1096 00:54:50,660 --> 00:54:52,161 forever. 1097 00:54:52,261 --> 00:54:55,124 And no sales tax. If I wanna buy some, for instance, gum, 1098 00:54:55,224 --> 00:54:58,007 I wanna flash me a card that says "I saved the world." 1099 00:54:58,107 --> 00:55:00,630 I don't have to pay no shitballs taxes on the gum. 1100 00:55:03,112 --> 00:55:04,614 And I want a stealth-attack helicopter, 1101 00:55:04,714 --> 00:55:06,375 like they fly over the Super Bowl 1102 00:55:06,475 --> 00:55:08,297 at my disposal, at all times. 1103 00:55:08,397 --> 00:55:10,620 You know, so I can fly around. 1104 00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:13,282 If the world's still here, I don't wanna deal with traffic no more. 1105 00:55:14,804 --> 00:55:16,806 And lastly, 1106 00:55:17,726 --> 00:55:20,149 I want you to set up a romantic rendezvous 1107 00:55:20,249 --> 00:55:23,192 between me, Serena Williams and Martha Stewart 1108 00:55:23,292 --> 00:55:25,955 in the Lincoln Bedroom. 1109 00:55:26,055 --> 00:55:28,277 Number one. You're not getting a helicopter 1110 00:55:28,377 --> 00:55:30,559 or any sort of flying or driving vehicle. 1111 00:55:30,659 --> 00:55:33,082 Number two. I'm pretty sure the federal government 1112 00:55:33,182 --> 00:55:35,364 could do without your income taxes and be fine. 1113 00:55:35,464 --> 00:55:39,888 And number three. If you help us beat these things, 1114 00:55:39,988 --> 00:55:41,990 I think we can get you outta here. 1115 00:55:43,191 --> 00:55:46,134 And the Martha-Serena sandwich? 1116 00:55:46,234 --> 00:55:48,176 Pick one of 'em. We'll set up a coffee. 1117 00:55:48,276 --> 00:55:50,278 Serena Williams. And we are closed. 1118 00:55:51,199 --> 00:55:53,201 (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) 1119 00:55:53,882 --> 00:55:55,884 Hello? 1120 00:55:56,284 --> 00:55:58,286 I understand. 1121 00:55:59,367 --> 00:56:01,029 It's happening tonight. 1122 00:56:01,129 --> 00:56:02,150 Where? 1123 00:56:02,250 --> 00:56:03,992 New York City. 1124 00:56:04,092 --> 00:56:06,635 Oh! Fuhgeddaboutit! 1125 00:56:06,735 --> 00:56:09,377 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! (CHUCKLING) 1126 00:56:27,475 --> 00:56:29,257 Hello, Big Apple. 1127 00:56:29,357 --> 00:56:31,559 The cavalry has arrived. (PEOPLE CHEERING) 1128 00:56:38,486 --> 00:56:40,348 Thanks for comin'. 1129 00:56:40,448 --> 00:56:43,551 We saw how you guys took care of the centipedes. 1130 00:56:43,651 --> 00:56:45,393 We hope you can do the same for us. 1131 00:56:45,493 --> 00:56:47,535 We hope so also. Well, what are we dealin' with? 1132 00:56:48,375 --> 00:56:50,377 Over here. 1133 00:56:51,579 --> 00:56:54,421 Rookie, just tell 'em what you saw. 1134 00:56:56,063 --> 00:56:58,125 It was awful. 1135 00:56:58,225 --> 00:57:00,247 It was like one of those monster movies, you know? 1136 00:57:00,347 --> 00:57:01,528 But this time 1137 00:57:01,628 --> 00:57:03,250 (WHISPERING) the monster was real. 1138 00:57:03,350 --> 00:57:05,352 And who was this monster? 1139 00:57:06,313 --> 00:57:07,935 Pac-Man. 1140 00:57:08,035 --> 00:57:10,257 Pac-Man? Boom. That's my jam. 1141 00:57:10,357 --> 00:57:11,979 Let's get us some light cannons and blow this sucker back 1142 00:57:12,079 --> 00:57:13,500 to whatever planet it came from. 1143 00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:15,862 No! No, light cannons don't kill Pac-Man. 1144 00:57:15,962 --> 00:57:17,344 Those little ghosts do. 1145 00:57:17,444 --> 00:57:19,866 Boom! Let's get us some little ghosts. 1146 00:57:19,966 --> 00:57:21,948 You want ghosts? 1147 00:57:22,048 --> 00:57:24,050 She's got ghosts. 1148 00:57:33,620 --> 00:57:36,683 We used the energy force-field technology from the cube 1149 00:57:36,783 --> 00:57:39,205 to develop four mini-generators for each of the cars. 1150 00:57:39,305 --> 00:57:40,647 Ghosts. 1151 00:57:40,747 --> 00:57:44,290 We're calling them XM950 attack modules. 1152 00:57:44,390 --> 00:57:45,652 (WHISTLES) Okay and we're callin' 'em Mini Ghosts 1153 00:57:45,752 --> 00:57:48,254 'cause we'll never remember what you just said. 1154 00:57:48,354 --> 00:57:51,097 Why are there four of 'em? There's only three of us. Who's our fourth? 1155 00:57:51,197 --> 00:57:54,080 May I introduce to you Professor Toru Iwatani. 1156 00:57:56,803 --> 00:57:58,805 The creator of Pac-Man. 1157 00:58:02,408 --> 00:58:04,410 (SPEAKING JAPANESE) 1158 00:58:13,699 --> 00:58:15,041 You speak Japanese? 1159 00:58:15,141 --> 00:58:17,143 No. 1160 00:58:18,424 --> 00:58:21,327 Sir, what an honor. Thanks for all the joy you brought to our lives. 1161 00:58:21,427 --> 00:58:23,429 Awesome. 1162 00:58:24,670 --> 00:58:27,272 I made your game my bitch. 1163 00:58:30,356 --> 00:58:32,057 What is a 1164 00:58:32,157 --> 00:58:33,699 "bitch"? 1165 00:58:33,799 --> 00:58:35,801 Don't worry about it. He's a criminal. 1166 00:58:39,444 --> 00:58:40,466 (SEATBELT CLICKS) 1167 00:58:40,566 --> 00:58:42,708 You all right? Yeah. 1168 00:58:42,808 --> 00:58:44,469 Okay, now, assuming they play by the rules 1169 00:58:44,569 --> 00:58:46,511 of the game like they did with Centipede, 1170 00:58:46,611 --> 00:58:50,355 if you guys hit Pac-Man three times with this energy field, we win. 1171 00:58:50,455 --> 00:58:52,457 Ludlow's right. You do smell good. 1172 00:58:54,419 --> 00:58:56,421 Good luck. Yeah. 1173 00:58:59,144 --> 00:59:01,186 (SIRENS WAILING) 1174 00:59:09,714 --> 00:59:11,856 Gentlemen, I'll be sending Pac-Man's current coordinates 1175 00:59:11,956 --> 00:59:13,738 to each of your car's GPSes. 1176 00:59:13,838 --> 00:59:15,840 Let's locate and eliminate. 1177 00:59:17,442 --> 00:59:19,264 Come on, guys. 1178 00:59:19,364 --> 00:59:21,366 (PEOPLE CLAMORING) 1179 00:59:26,411 --> 00:59:28,413 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1180 00:59:37,942 --> 00:59:39,944 Pac-Man's a bad guy? 1181 00:59:42,586 --> 00:59:44,588 (GRUNTS) 1182 00:59:45,069 --> 00:59:47,812 Pac-Man is not bad! 1183 00:59:47,912 --> 00:59:50,815 I created him to bring joy to all the people of the world. 1184 00:59:50,915 --> 00:59:52,917 They have brainwashed him! 1185 00:59:54,878 --> 00:59:58,362 Deep down, he's kind, gentle. 1186 01:00:00,484 --> 01:00:02,886 Someone you can tell your troubles to or grab a hamburger with. 1187 01:00:08,532 --> 01:00:10,534 You'll see. 1188 01:00:14,378 --> 01:00:16,480 Professor Iwatani, get back in the car! 1189 01:00:16,580 --> 01:00:18,482 Professor Iwatani, what are you doin'? 1190 01:00:18,582 --> 01:00:21,164 I will talk to him. He's my son! 1191 01:00:21,264 --> 01:00:23,266 No, that's a bad idea. 1192 01:00:30,033 --> 01:00:32,035 Hello, 1193 01:00:32,355 --> 01:00:34,357 my sweet little boy. 1194 01:00:35,318 --> 01:00:37,500 Look how big you've grown! 1195 01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:40,103 I'm so proud of you. 1196 01:00:40,203 --> 01:00:42,205 It's so sweet. He's so sweet. 1197 01:00:44,527 --> 01:00:46,509 But all these destructive things you're doing, 1198 01:00:46,609 --> 01:00:48,611 it's wrong. 1199 01:00:49,692 --> 01:00:51,694 I'm your father. 1200 01:00:54,417 --> 01:00:56,279 I know 1201 01:00:56,379 --> 01:00:58,381 you're a good boy. 1202 01:01:01,704 --> 01:01:03,406 (BEEPS) 1203 01:01:03,506 --> 01:01:04,887 (SCREAMING) 1204 01:01:04,987 --> 01:01:06,989 No! 1205 01:01:08,591 --> 01:01:11,073 Somebody kill this stupid bitch! 1206 01:01:13,275 --> 01:01:17,480 That was some twisted Pinocchio-Geppetto stuff right there. 1207 01:01:19,522 --> 01:01:20,663 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 1208 01:01:20,763 --> 01:01:22,765 All right, losers! 1209 01:01:23,125 --> 01:01:24,547 It's three on one. (ENGINE REVVING) 1210 01:01:24,647 --> 01:01:26,649 Let's hit it. 1211 01:01:40,662 --> 01:01:42,664 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1212 01:01:46,788 --> 01:01:48,790 (SCREAMING) 1213 01:01:55,797 --> 01:01:57,799 Pac-Man's faster than I remember. 1214 01:02:01,243 --> 01:02:03,465 Pac-Man's always been faster than the ghosts. 1215 01:02:03,565 --> 01:02:05,567 We're gonna have to outmaneuver his ass. 1216 01:02:10,331 --> 01:02:12,333 (STRAINED GRUNTING) 1217 01:02:15,577 --> 01:02:18,059 EDDIE: Wonderfro, you and Silver Medal break off. 1218 01:02:19,661 --> 01:02:21,663 I'll stay with Big Yellow. 1219 01:02:23,344 --> 01:02:25,486 (GAME PINGING) 1220 01:02:25,586 --> 01:02:27,769 VIOLET: Whoa, Eddie, how did you do that so fast? 1221 01:02:27,869 --> 01:02:29,871 'Cause I'm the champ, Lieutenant Long Legs. 1222 01:02:30,952 --> 01:02:32,954 (SIREN WAILING) 1223 01:02:35,276 --> 01:02:37,278 Nope! 1224 01:02:37,758 --> 01:02:39,760 What's up? 1225 01:02:42,483 --> 01:02:44,485 Oh, yeah! 1226 01:02:48,769 --> 01:02:49,990 (ALL CHEERING) 1227 01:02:50,090 --> 01:02:51,232 Good one, Eddie. 1228 01:02:51,332 --> 01:02:53,074 (EXHALES) 1229 01:02:53,174 --> 01:02:54,355 BRENNER OVER RADIO: One down. 1230 01:02:54,455 --> 01:02:56,457 Two to go! 1231 01:02:57,778 --> 01:02:59,780 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1232 01:03:00,981 --> 01:03:02,803 All right, Pac-Man Number Two 1233 01:03:02,903 --> 01:03:05,766 just regenerated four streets away headed northbound. 1234 01:03:05,866 --> 01:03:08,809 Turn east at the next intersection. 1235 01:03:08,909 --> 01:03:10,130 Brenner, go straight. 1236 01:03:10,230 --> 01:03:11,492 Got it. 1237 01:03:11,592 --> 01:03:13,594 VIOLET: Ludlow, go left. (TIRES SCREECHING) 1238 01:03:14,354 --> 01:03:16,757 Eddie, at the next intersection, turn left. 1239 01:03:18,358 --> 01:03:19,419 LUDLOW: We got him! 1240 01:03:19,519 --> 01:03:21,521 He's got nowhere to go! 1241 01:03:23,683 --> 01:03:25,685 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1242 01:03:26,807 --> 01:03:29,269 Oh, God. No! 1243 01:03:29,369 --> 01:03:30,510 "Oh, God. No," what? 1244 01:03:30,610 --> 01:03:32,032 He ate the power pellet. 1245 01:03:32,132 --> 01:03:34,134 Pac-Man's got 10 seconds where he can eat us. 1246 01:03:37,337 --> 01:03:39,339 Why me? 1247 01:03:46,746 --> 01:03:48,608 Oh, God. Don't eat me, don't eat me, don't eat me. 1248 01:03:48,708 --> 01:03:50,710 Please, please, don't eat me! 1249 01:03:51,711 --> 01:03:53,713 (SCREAMING) 1250 01:03:56,596 --> 01:03:58,698 Guys! Help! 1251 01:03:58,798 --> 01:04:00,800 I'm gonna die a virgin! 1252 01:04:04,924 --> 01:04:06,926 (SCREAMING) 1253 01:04:14,854 --> 01:04:17,296 Why are you doing this to me? 1254 01:04:19,779 --> 01:04:21,560 You've been brainwashed! 1255 01:04:21,660 --> 01:04:24,403 You're a good boy! 1256 01:04:24,503 --> 01:04:26,505 Ludlow, run! Pump your legs! Go, baby! 1257 01:04:27,146 --> 01:04:29,148 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1258 01:04:31,630 --> 01:04:33,452 (ALL CHEERING) Attaboy, Eddie! 1259 01:04:33,552 --> 01:04:36,875 (CHUCKLES) You just got fire-blasted, sucka. 1260 01:04:37,596 --> 01:04:38,537 Uh-huh. 1261 01:04:38,637 --> 01:04:39,778 (THUDS) 1262 01:04:39,878 --> 01:04:42,461 (SIGHS) What? 1263 01:04:42,561 --> 01:04:44,563 How the hell did he get over there so fast? 1264 01:04:46,725 --> 01:04:48,066 Way to go, champ. 1265 01:04:48,166 --> 01:04:50,589 Aren't you glad you sprung me, Second Place? 1266 01:04:50,689 --> 01:04:52,791 Yeah, thrilled. 1267 01:04:52,891 --> 01:04:54,893 One more to go and it's happy hour. 1268 01:05:05,984 --> 01:05:08,226 So I guess they're just leaving me here. 1269 01:05:13,992 --> 01:05:15,994 Now it's time for the hat trick. 1270 01:05:23,401 --> 01:05:25,403 (SCREAMING) 1271 01:05:28,286 --> 01:05:29,587 Wow! 1272 01:05:29,687 --> 01:05:31,469 Brenner, it's on you. 1273 01:05:31,569 --> 01:05:33,791 There are still three other power pellets out there. 1274 01:05:33,891 --> 01:05:35,713 So stay alert. 1275 01:05:35,813 --> 01:05:37,395 I got this. 1276 01:05:37,495 --> 01:05:38,836 If I don't, 1277 01:05:38,936 --> 01:05:40,798 the world ends. 1278 01:05:40,898 --> 01:05:42,560 Can't let that happen. 1279 01:05:42,660 --> 01:05:44,662 Come on, Brenner. Come on. 1280 01:05:46,864 --> 01:05:48,866 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1281 01:05:50,908 --> 01:05:53,170 Brenner, he's leading you directly towards one of the power pellets. 1282 01:05:53,270 --> 01:05:55,272 Get out of there. 1283 01:05:56,754 --> 01:05:58,756 (BRAKES SCREECHING) 1284 01:06:02,559 --> 01:06:04,021 One. 1285 01:06:04,121 --> 01:06:06,123 What the hell is he doing? 1286 01:06:06,764 --> 01:06:08,625 Two. 1287 01:06:08,725 --> 01:06:11,188 VIOLET: Damn it, Brenner. I have a son who I'd like to see grow up. 1288 01:06:11,288 --> 01:06:13,290 Three. You'll see your boy grow up. 1289 01:06:16,413 --> 01:06:17,714 Four. 1290 01:06:17,814 --> 01:06:19,936 Brenner, get out! He's going to eat you! 1291 01:06:22,379 --> 01:06:24,381 Five. 1292 01:06:25,822 --> 01:06:27,824 Six. 1293 01:06:28,905 --> 01:06:30,907 Seven. 1294 01:06:31,948 --> 01:06:33,950 Eight. 1295 01:06:34,671 --> 01:06:36,673 Nine. 1296 01:06:41,157 --> 01:06:43,159 Ten. 1297 01:06:47,564 --> 01:06:49,566 (BREATHING HEAVILY) (PAC-MAN POWERING DOWN) 1298 01:06:49,966 --> 01:06:52,148 (ALL CHEERING) 1299 01:06:52,248 --> 01:06:54,971 You did it! Brenner! That's the one, baby! 1300 01:06:58,614 --> 01:07:00,616 (ALL CHEERING) 1301 01:07:02,658 --> 01:07:04,660 (CHUCKLES) 1302 01:07:06,182 --> 01:07:08,184 MAN: He's over here! 1303 01:07:08,905 --> 01:07:10,907 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 1304 01:07:16,912 --> 01:07:18,914 (HORN BLARING) 1305 01:07:27,923 --> 01:07:30,526 (INAUDIBLE) 1306 01:07:33,208 --> 01:07:35,210 WOMAN: Fire Blaster, I love you! 1307 01:07:35,971 --> 01:07:37,232 LUDLOW: Hey, guys! 1308 01:07:37,332 --> 01:07:39,795 Sorry. Coming through. I'm one of tonight's heroes. Sorry. 1309 01:07:39,895 --> 01:07:40,996 Hey! 1310 01:07:41,096 --> 01:07:42,918 (SOFTLY) Hey. 1311 01:07:43,018 --> 01:07:45,200 Check it out. 1312 01:07:45,300 --> 01:07:47,623 I think I might have found our next trophy. 1313 01:07:48,183 --> 01:07:51,306 (MUMBLING) 1314 01:07:52,187 --> 01:07:53,769 It's Q'bert. 1315 01:07:53,869 --> 01:07:55,871 Yeah, I know! I know. 1316 01:07:56,912 --> 01:07:57,973 Can I kill it? 1317 01:07:58,073 --> 01:07:59,694 No! 1318 01:07:59,794 --> 01:08:02,778 Let's get to know him a little bit. Ask him some questions. 1319 01:08:02,878 --> 01:08:03,859 And then we'll kill him. 1320 01:08:03,959 --> 01:08:05,901 Huh? 1321 01:08:06,001 --> 01:08:06,841 I'm joking. Just put the blanket on him. 1322 01:08:06,921 --> 01:08:08,383 Q'BERT: Bye. 1323 01:08:08,483 --> 01:08:10,065 Mr. President! Mr. President! 1324 01:08:10,165 --> 01:08:11,786 Yes, Hal. HAL: Mr. President, 1325 01:08:11,886 --> 01:08:15,230 your approval ratings have tripled since this crisis began. 1326 01:08:15,330 --> 01:08:18,152 Do you feel the heretofore sanguine causata 1327 01:08:18,253 --> 01:08:20,255 are tracking toward an auspicious denouement? 1328 01:08:21,976 --> 01:08:24,078 REPORTER: Oh, shut up, Hal. 1329 01:08:24,178 --> 01:08:26,179 You're just using big words to try to make him look like an idiot. 1330 01:08:27,742 --> 01:08:29,903 We love you, Mr. President. Thank you for saving us. 1331 01:08:31,586 --> 01:08:34,008 Please, don't thank me. 1332 01:08:34,108 --> 01:08:37,371 It's Sam Brenner and his team who have brought us here to the brink of victory. 1333 01:08:37,471 --> 01:08:40,014 And we understand you're holding a soiree in their honor. 1334 01:08:40,114 --> 01:08:42,937 Is that a good idea when another attack may be imminent? 1335 01:08:43,036 --> 01:08:44,739 COOPER: No need to worry. 1336 01:08:44,839 --> 01:08:47,180 They will have their Arcader uniforms on underneath their tuxes, 1337 01:08:47,281 --> 01:08:49,704 ready to go at a moment's notice. 1338 01:08:49,804 --> 01:08:51,585 And for the record, Hal, 1339 01:08:51,685 --> 01:08:55,309 I happen to know what several of those big words meant. 1340 01:08:55,409 --> 01:08:58,712 I drank a few cold sanguines on my last trip to Mexico. 1341 01:08:58,812 --> 01:08:59,793 (ALL LAUGHING) 1342 01:08:59,893 --> 01:09:02,036 Bite on that, Hal! 1343 01:09:02,135 --> 01:09:04,418 ALL: (CHANTING) You! You! You! You! You! 1344 01:09:08,182 --> 01:09:10,184 (TURNS TV OFF) 1345 01:09:11,945 --> 01:09:13,947 I don't know what would be worse. 1346 01:09:14,668 --> 01:09:16,610 Them failing, 1347 01:09:16,710 --> 01:09:19,052 or them actually pulling this off. 1348 01:09:19,152 --> 01:09:20,854 WOMAN: What was that, Jim? 1349 01:09:20,954 --> 01:09:22,956 Can you shut up for five seconds? 1350 01:09:27,961 --> 01:09:29,943 We need to increase the rate of fire. 1351 01:09:30,043 --> 01:09:32,606 Now you already calculated that in your beautiful mind, didn't you? 1352 01:09:34,928 --> 01:09:36,910 BRENNER: There's no rhyme or reason to this game. 1353 01:09:37,010 --> 01:09:38,071 I mean, where are the patterns? 1354 01:09:38,170 --> 01:09:40,714 He just attacks out of left field. 1355 01:09:40,813 --> 01:09:43,276 Patterns? Is that why you were so good with Pac-Man and Centipede? 1356 01:09:43,376 --> 01:09:44,918 You memorized the patterns? 1357 01:09:45,018 --> 01:09:46,920 Yeah. Only way to beat these things. 1358 01:09:47,019 --> 01:09:49,963 Count the bullets, calculate the speed, crunch the numbers. 1359 01:09:50,063 --> 01:09:51,284 Where's the fun in that? 1360 01:09:51,384 --> 01:09:53,446 Oh, boy. Why? What do you do? 1361 01:09:53,545 --> 01:09:56,729 You gotta pretend you're the guy and you don't wanna die. 1362 01:09:56,829 --> 01:10:00,053 Yeah, that sounds cool, but it's not gonna work every time. 1363 01:10:00,152 --> 01:10:02,415 Well, that's why you have your reset button. 1364 01:10:02,515 --> 01:10:04,517 Yeah, we didn't have those growin' up. 1365 01:10:06,278 --> 01:10:08,180 Most violent game I've ever seen. 1366 01:10:08,281 --> 01:10:10,103 I don't think it's healthy for you. 1367 01:10:10,203 --> 01:10:11,264 It's fine. I can handle it. 1368 01:10:11,364 --> 01:10:13,666 No, I'm not talkin' to you. I'm talkin' to homeboy. 1369 01:10:13,766 --> 01:10:17,830 (SHIVERING) So much blood! 1370 01:10:17,929 --> 01:10:19,992 Yeah. Hey. You know what'll cheer you up? 1371 01:10:20,091 --> 01:10:21,874 A cheese ball. Yep. 1372 01:10:21,974 --> 01:10:23,035 Huh? 1373 01:10:23,135 --> 01:10:25,137 Come on, suck one up. 1374 01:10:25,498 --> 01:10:27,499 (GULPS) Take a handful. 1375 01:10:29,180 --> 01:10:32,403 That was smooth. (CHUCKLING) That was very smooth. 1376 01:10:32,504 --> 01:10:34,486 You know, we should get him some exercise. 1377 01:10:34,586 --> 01:10:36,248 Maybe throw him on the trampoline for a little bit? 1378 01:10:36,348 --> 01:10:38,610 Q'BERT: Trampoline! Trampoline! Trampoline! 1379 01:10:38,710 --> 01:10:40,012 Okay. How about me and him do that 1380 01:10:40,112 --> 01:10:43,455 while you go ask my mum to the ball tomorrow night? 1381 01:10:43,554 --> 01:10:45,858 Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to your mother. 1382 01:10:45,957 --> 01:10:47,499 Q'BERT: Bullcrap. 1383 01:10:47,599 --> 01:10:49,180 You're right, I am. Okay. 1384 01:10:49,281 --> 01:10:51,303 Here. Finish these. 1385 01:10:51,402 --> 01:10:52,784 You're gettin' chubby. 1386 01:10:52,884 --> 01:10:54,885 (CHUCKLES) 1387 01:10:56,088 --> 01:10:57,429 Hi. (Q'BERT WHOOPING) 1388 01:10:57,528 --> 01:10:59,531 Hi. 1389 01:10:59,930 --> 01:11:02,033 So... 1390 01:11:02,133 --> 01:11:03,675 So... 1391 01:11:03,775 --> 01:11:05,777 Whoo! 1392 01:11:06,898 --> 01:11:08,900 (LAUGHING) 1393 01:11:10,180 --> 01:11:11,843 Sorry! 1394 01:11:11,943 --> 01:11:13,945 Q'BERT: Again! Again! Again! Again! 1395 01:11:14,866 --> 01:11:17,008 So I'm feeling obligated to make 1396 01:11:17,108 --> 01:11:19,010 an appearance at that thing tomorrow night. 1397 01:11:19,110 --> 01:11:21,091 I was wondering, when you got there, 1398 01:11:21,192 --> 01:11:24,415 if possibly you'd like to hang out with me while I was there? 1399 01:11:24,515 --> 01:11:25,817 Like a date? Like a date, but... 1400 01:11:25,917 --> 01:11:26,938 Ooh! Yeah. 1401 01:11:27,037 --> 01:11:28,540 I dunno about that. 1402 01:11:28,640 --> 01:11:31,022 I'm a snob. I have mental problems, so... 1403 01:11:31,122 --> 01:11:33,384 Well, you know, you are and you do, 1404 01:11:33,483 --> 01:11:35,486 but I'm willin' to overlook that for the evening. 1405 01:11:36,087 --> 01:11:37,148 Okay. 1406 01:11:37,248 --> 01:11:39,250 You will? Mmm-hmm. 1407 01:11:40,131 --> 01:11:42,373 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1408 01:11:52,223 --> 01:11:54,004 MAN: Three, four. 1409 01:11:54,104 --> 01:11:56,106 (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING) 1410 01:11:57,067 --> 01:11:59,210 Thank you. Thank you. Thanks. 1411 01:11:59,310 --> 01:12:01,312 Nice welcome, for a change, huh? 1412 01:12:06,757 --> 01:12:09,278 Bring it down, Travolta. Bring it down. 1413 01:12:12,202 --> 01:12:14,765 They love the Big Man! Good to see the respect, pal. 1414 01:12:18,608 --> 01:12:20,429 Well, lookie here, Serena. 1415 01:12:20,530 --> 01:12:23,393 They threw me a big party to thank me for savin' the world. 1416 01:12:23,492 --> 01:12:25,756 And you get to stand next to me all night. 1417 01:12:25,856 --> 01:12:28,358 MAN: Champagne, sir? Thanks. 1418 01:12:28,457 --> 01:12:31,081 They promised me an island if I did this. Ah. 1419 01:12:31,180 --> 01:12:33,082 I'm dying to meet Sam's new ladyfriend. 1420 01:12:33,183 --> 01:12:35,805 She's nothin'. It's just a little hangin' out thing. 1421 01:12:35,906 --> 01:12:37,126 Yeah, right. 1422 01:12:37,227 --> 01:12:39,049 Is she pretty, Will? 1423 01:12:39,149 --> 01:12:42,372 Uh, define pretty. I mean, you're pretty. (CHUCKLES) 1424 01:12:42,472 --> 01:12:44,254 Extremely pretty. Thank you. 1425 01:12:44,354 --> 01:12:46,416 She, I think, in the classical sense 1426 01:12:46,516 --> 01:12:48,617 of the word, is certainly... I mean, I feel... 1427 01:12:48,718 --> 01:12:50,140 Brenner, help me out here. No, you're doing great. 1428 01:12:50,240 --> 01:12:52,102 Keep going. Okay. 1429 01:12:52,202 --> 01:12:54,744 Uh, You know, she, for military personnel, certainly. 1430 01:12:54,844 --> 01:12:56,064 I mean... 1431 01:12:56,165 --> 01:12:57,867 You're the First Lady, 1432 01:12:57,966 --> 01:12:59,969 she's a 10. 1433 01:13:04,454 --> 01:13:06,456 Hey, Brenner. 1434 01:13:08,057 --> 01:13:10,059 Q'BERT: Hey, Brenner. 1435 01:13:10,379 --> 01:13:12,381 Excuse me for a second. 1436 01:13:13,262 --> 01:13:15,264 Come on, Matty. Let's dance! 1437 01:13:21,070 --> 01:13:23,072 You look nice in a tux. 1438 01:13:23,392 --> 01:13:25,394 Green's officially my favorite color now. 1439 01:13:26,314 --> 01:13:28,257 I have a question for you. 1440 01:13:28,357 --> 01:13:29,738 President said I'm on call tonight, 1441 01:13:29,838 --> 01:13:31,300 so I can only have half a beer. 1442 01:13:31,400 --> 01:13:32,862 Um... 1443 01:13:32,962 --> 01:13:35,544 I know you like drinkin' out of sippy cups, 1444 01:13:35,644 --> 01:13:37,646 but wanna split a bottle with me? 1445 01:13:39,088 --> 01:13:41,269 (SNIFFS) What happened? 1446 01:13:41,370 --> 01:13:43,192 You brushed your teeth. Yes! Yes. 1447 01:13:43,292 --> 01:13:44,353 All right. Lead the way. 1448 01:13:44,453 --> 01:13:46,455 You got it. 1449 01:13:49,418 --> 01:13:53,362 ♪ Welcome to your life 1450 01:13:53,462 --> 01:13:57,885 ♪ There's no turning back 1451 01:13:57,986 --> 01:14:01,610 ♪ Even while we sleep 1452 01:14:01,710 --> 01:14:04,251 ♪ We will find you 1453 01:14:04,352 --> 01:14:09,097 ♪ Acting on your best behavior ♪ 1454 01:14:09,197 --> 01:14:11,059 So let's hear about Sinnamon. What does she look like? 1455 01:14:11,159 --> 01:14:13,301 Oh, God. Are you kidding? I wanna know. 1456 01:14:13,401 --> 01:14:16,024 She's a husband-stealing Pilates teacher. She's hot! 1457 01:14:16,124 --> 01:14:18,305 Uh-huh. And limber. 1458 01:14:18,406 --> 01:14:19,427 That doesn't matter. 1459 01:14:19,527 --> 01:14:21,830 Yes! Actually, it does. 1460 01:14:21,929 --> 01:14:23,551 She's not perfect, though, right? 1461 01:14:23,651 --> 01:14:25,593 Girls like that who steal husbands, 1462 01:14:25,693 --> 01:14:27,695 they always got one thing wrong with them. 1463 01:14:28,295 --> 01:14:30,037 Come on. 1464 01:14:30,138 --> 01:14:31,239 Her forehead's too big? 1465 01:14:31,339 --> 01:14:32,400 (CHUCKLES) No. 1466 01:14:32,500 --> 01:14:33,962 Mole on the chin? No. 1467 01:14:34,062 --> 01:14:36,063 Two different nostrils? No! 1468 01:14:37,144 --> 01:14:38,885 She's flawless. 1469 01:14:38,986 --> 01:14:40,808 She is. 1470 01:14:40,908 --> 01:14:43,911 I mean, her eyes. Okay, her eyes are a little far apart. 1471 01:14:45,912 --> 01:14:47,255 Kind of looks like a flounder. 1472 01:14:47,355 --> 01:14:49,456 There it is! Good. (CHUCKLES) 1473 01:14:49,557 --> 01:14:51,459 So tonight, your dopey ex-husband's 1474 01:14:51,559 --> 01:14:53,300 gonna be lookin' into those eyes and sayin', 1475 01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:55,262 "What kind of choice did I make? 1476 01:14:55,362 --> 01:14:58,185 "I used to stare into the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, 1477 01:14:58,285 --> 01:15:01,749 "and now I'm stuck starin' at the Filet o' Fish sandwich." 1478 01:15:01,849 --> 01:15:03,751 Did you just say I have beautiful eyes? 1479 01:15:03,851 --> 01:15:05,873 While insulting the other chick. 1480 01:15:05,973 --> 01:15:09,196 Wow. That is really, really, really, really good. 1481 01:15:09,295 --> 01:15:11,298 Thank you. 1482 01:15:13,340 --> 01:15:15,622 Can I have some of that? No? I thought we were splitting it. 1483 01:15:17,144 --> 01:15:18,485 Hooyah! 1484 01:15:18,585 --> 01:15:22,649 ♪ So glad we've almost made it 1485 01:15:22,749 --> 01:15:26,453 ♪ So sad they had to fade it 1486 01:15:26,553 --> 01:15:29,416 ♪ Everybody wants to rule the world 1487 01:15:29,516 --> 01:15:31,518 (FEEDBACK) 1488 01:15:34,161 --> 01:15:36,423 ♪ They wanna rule 1489 01:15:36,523 --> 01:15:38,525 ♪ Why do they act so mean? ♪ 1490 01:15:40,727 --> 01:15:43,028 You know, everybody's like, 1491 01:15:43,129 --> 01:15:45,751 "Brenner this" and "Brenner that." 1492 01:15:45,852 --> 01:15:49,596 But make no mistake, Fire Blaster's the leader of this crew. 1493 01:15:49,696 --> 01:15:51,357 Who's the Fire Blaster again? 1494 01:15:51,456 --> 01:15:54,481 Me, Serena! All right, lemme just cut to the chase here. 1495 01:15:54,581 --> 01:15:56,442 Fire Blaster's been in prison for eight years. 1496 01:15:56,542 --> 01:15:58,825 He hasn't been with a woman since '05. 1497 01:15:59,986 --> 01:16:03,448 You're in for the time of your life. 1498 01:16:03,549 --> 01:16:04,971 You even think about touching me, 1499 01:16:05,071 --> 01:16:06,372 I'm gonna smack you through the wall. 1500 01:16:06,472 --> 01:16:08,474 Mmm. I'd have it no other way. 1501 01:16:11,197 --> 01:16:13,739 Should've gone with Martha Stewart. 1502 01:16:13,839 --> 01:16:16,762 At least then, I'd have a tasty panini cooked for me or some shit. 1503 01:16:20,566 --> 01:16:22,468 So, what are you gonna do after all this? 1504 01:16:22,568 --> 01:16:24,470 You gonna go back to the Nerd Brigade? 1505 01:16:24,570 --> 01:16:26,072 Wow. 1506 01:16:26,171 --> 01:16:27,553 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1507 01:16:27,652 --> 01:16:29,695 Probably. I mean... 1508 01:16:30,536 --> 01:16:32,197 What else would I do? 1509 01:16:32,298 --> 01:16:34,560 I mean, it just seems like someone with your skills, 1510 01:16:34,660 --> 01:16:38,364 you'd be better off inventing technology rather than installing it. 1511 01:16:38,464 --> 01:16:41,066 No, of course. I would love to do somethin' different. 1512 01:16:41,667 --> 01:16:43,729 You know, I had my shot 1513 01:16:43,829 --> 01:16:45,930 when I was a kid in the arcades. 1514 01:16:46,031 --> 01:16:47,572 But 1515 01:16:47,673 --> 01:16:50,335 (CLICKS TONGUE) I blew it. 1516 01:16:50,435 --> 01:16:53,457 Yeah, I always think maybe my life would've been different. 1517 01:16:53,558 --> 01:16:56,541 Any time I'm getting on a roll, 1518 01:16:56,641 --> 01:16:59,644 or I feel like everything's going great, 1519 01:17:01,206 --> 01:17:03,688 that giant ape throws another barrel at me. 1520 01:17:06,611 --> 01:17:10,474 But it's all good. Don't worry. 1521 01:17:10,575 --> 01:17:12,157 Hooyah. 1522 01:17:12,257 --> 01:17:14,259 Hooyah. 1523 01:17:14,579 --> 01:17:18,523 Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce a special message 1524 01:17:18,623 --> 01:17:22,407 to the Arcaders from the students of PS 427 1525 01:17:22,507 --> 01:17:24,369 in New York City. 1526 01:17:24,469 --> 01:17:26,471 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 1527 01:17:27,472 --> 01:17:29,733 CHOIR KIDS: New York was in trouble. 1528 01:17:29,834 --> 01:17:31,976 Pac-Man caused a ruckus. 1529 01:17:32,076 --> 01:17:34,579 But the Arcaders saved us. 1530 01:17:34,679 --> 01:17:36,680 'Cause they're bad mother... 1531 01:17:37,482 --> 01:17:39,483 (AUDIENCE MURMURING) 1532 01:17:40,525 --> 01:17:42,427 People of Earth, 1533 01:17:42,527 --> 01:17:44,589 you have violated the rules of warfare, dudes. 1534 01:17:44,688 --> 01:17:46,551 Violated the rules? 1535 01:17:46,651 --> 01:17:49,572 Because of this, you forfeit and your planet is now ours. 1536 01:17:51,015 --> 01:17:53,517 Dudes, in 12 hours, we'll commence with 1537 01:17:53,617 --> 01:17:56,480 the all-out destruction of Earth. 1538 01:17:56,580 --> 01:18:00,444 After that, we will sing this about your precious planet. 1539 01:18:00,544 --> 01:18:04,849 ♪ She's gone 1540 01:18:04,948 --> 01:18:08,331 ♪ I'd better learn how to face... ♪ 1541 01:18:08,432 --> 01:18:10,434 (AUDIENCE MURMURING) What the heck are they talkin' about? 1542 01:18:20,003 --> 01:18:21,545 Where you goin', Fire Blaster? 1543 01:18:21,644 --> 01:18:23,947 Oh, hey, kid. Uh... 1544 01:18:24,046 --> 01:18:26,550 I told Serena I needed to get some air, you know? 1545 01:18:26,650 --> 01:18:28,512 Only known her half an hour and she's already like, 1546 01:18:28,612 --> 01:18:31,635 "Mrs. Fire Blaster this. Mrs. Fire Blaster that." 1547 01:18:31,735 --> 01:18:34,838 A cop fished these out of the East River the night you fell in. 1548 01:18:34,938 --> 01:18:36,840 I was gonna give 'em back to you, 1549 01:18:36,939 --> 01:18:39,501 but I saw some interesting things written on the inside of the lenses. 1550 01:18:41,544 --> 01:18:44,046 The Pac-Man cheat code for super-speed. 1551 01:18:44,147 --> 01:18:46,650 You're a cheater. So what? 1552 01:18:46,750 --> 01:18:50,133 I used cheat codes back in the day to help me dominate. 1553 01:18:50,233 --> 01:18:52,776 So I figured, why not use it for the big show. And it worked. 1554 01:18:52,876 --> 01:18:54,878 You've been a cheater your whole life? 1555 01:18:55,478 --> 01:18:56,619 No. 1556 01:18:56,719 --> 01:18:59,501 Only since I was 10. 1557 01:18:59,602 --> 01:19:03,465 That's how I beat your boy Brenner at the World Championship. Oh, yeah. 1558 01:19:03,566 --> 01:19:05,468 (TAKES SUNGLASSES) 1559 01:19:05,568 --> 01:19:07,970 I owe everything I have to these bitchin' shades. 1560 01:19:13,656 --> 01:19:15,398 What did you do? 1561 01:19:15,498 --> 01:19:18,401 I didn't do anything. (STUTTERS) I thought we obeyed every rule. 1562 01:19:18,501 --> 01:19:20,161 Ya thought wrong, civilian! 1563 01:19:20,262 --> 01:19:22,325 We squandered our one chance on you! 1564 01:19:22,425 --> 01:19:23,526 A hi-fi repair man. 1565 01:19:23,626 --> 01:19:25,206 But I swear... 1566 01:19:25,307 --> 01:19:28,571 But nothin'! You heard Hall & Oates! You blew it! 1567 01:19:28,670 --> 01:19:30,132 I've seen your files. 1568 01:19:30,232 --> 01:19:32,575 You've never accomplished a damn thing in your entire life. 1569 01:19:32,675 --> 01:19:35,456 Brenner won two battles, Admiral. That's two more than you. 1570 01:19:35,557 --> 01:19:37,219 PORTER: I wouldn't get smart with me, Colonel. 1571 01:19:37,319 --> 01:19:38,821 You were all over this sideshow that did 1572 01:19:38,920 --> 01:19:40,623 nothing but waste valuable time. 1573 01:19:40,723 --> 01:19:43,345 Sometimes I wonder if you're not working for the Martians yourself! 1574 01:19:43,445 --> 01:19:44,465 Drop dead, Admiral. 1575 01:19:44,566 --> 01:19:45,908 You're done. 1576 01:19:46,008 --> 01:19:47,629 All right. Hey, guys! That's enough. Listen. 1577 01:19:47,729 --> 01:19:49,510 (DEEP RUMBLING) We tried something. It didn't work. 1578 01:19:49,611 --> 01:19:51,753 (WOMAN SHRIEKING) 1579 01:19:51,853 --> 01:19:53,435 What is that? 1580 01:19:53,535 --> 01:19:55,536 Matty! 1581 01:19:56,498 --> 01:19:58,500 (SCREAMING) 1582 01:20:05,786 --> 01:20:07,789 Matty! 1583 01:20:14,596 --> 01:20:17,659 I can't believe they took Matty as a trophy. I am so sorry. 1584 01:20:17,759 --> 01:20:19,661 Well, there's gotta be somethin' we can do. 1585 01:20:19,760 --> 01:20:21,262 Where's Eddie? 1586 01:20:21,362 --> 01:20:23,804 Eddie. Yeah. He crawled into a hole. We'll never see him again. 1587 01:20:25,006 --> 01:20:27,027 Chewie won't take my calls. 1588 01:20:27,128 --> 01:20:29,590 Violet got the boot. We're on our own, guys. 1589 01:20:29,691 --> 01:20:31,112 This feels like my planet. 1590 01:20:31,212 --> 01:20:34,455 No fun. No laughter. Only war. 1591 01:20:35,016 --> 01:20:36,638 Wait. 1592 01:20:36,738 --> 01:20:39,760 Wait a second. Q'bert is from there. He knows all their secrets. 1593 01:20:39,861 --> 01:20:41,442 Q'BERT: We were once a happy planet. 1594 01:20:41,542 --> 01:20:43,524 Before you threatened us. 1595 01:20:43,624 --> 01:20:47,168 But we didn't threaten you! You saw footage of old games. 1596 01:20:47,268 --> 01:20:49,090 They do not know they are games. 1597 01:20:49,189 --> 01:20:51,532 Well, why don't you tell them that, Q'bert, and stop them? 1598 01:20:51,632 --> 01:20:53,134 Q'BERT: It's too late. 1599 01:20:53,233 --> 01:20:56,376 And now the mothership is creating millions of video-game warriors 1600 01:20:56,477 --> 01:20:58,579 to destroy your planet. 1601 01:20:58,679 --> 01:21:02,223 Look, all we have to do is get inside the mothership and try to stop them. 1602 01:21:02,322 --> 01:21:03,864 We can rescue Matty while we're up there. 1603 01:21:03,964 --> 01:21:06,387 Up there. You wanna go up there? 1604 01:21:06,487 --> 01:21:09,390 I don't know about that. You know, they took away our light cannons. 1605 01:21:09,490 --> 01:21:11,472 I don't think that's such a good idea. 1606 01:21:11,572 --> 01:21:13,914 We have something better than light cannons. 1607 01:21:14,014 --> 01:21:16,196 We have a positive can-do attitude. 1608 01:21:16,295 --> 01:21:17,558 Ah. 1609 01:21:17,658 --> 01:21:19,980 I'm kidding. We are all gonna die. 1610 01:21:21,021 --> 01:21:22,282 I'm just... 1611 01:21:22,382 --> 01:21:24,384 Sorry. 1612 01:21:30,030 --> 01:21:32,272 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 1613 01:22:03,383 --> 01:22:04,844 Are you sure we wanna do this? 1614 01:22:04,944 --> 01:22:07,687 I mean, maybe we could just find another planet to live on. 1615 01:22:07,786 --> 01:22:10,249 BRENNER: Shut up, dude. We're gettin' on that ship. 1616 01:22:10,349 --> 01:22:12,732 And the only way to do that is to get directly under it. 1617 01:22:12,831 --> 01:22:14,834 Q'BERT: That's the only way in. 1618 01:22:15,755 --> 01:22:17,757 (ARCADE GAMES PINGING) 1619 01:22:19,398 --> 01:22:21,400 (BEEPS) 1620 01:22:25,965 --> 01:22:27,966 Q'BERT: Oh! 1621 01:22:29,328 --> 01:22:31,330 Arcaders are comin'! Don't worry! 1622 01:22:36,415 --> 01:22:37,756 Come on! Come on! Come on! Go! 1623 01:22:37,856 --> 01:22:39,858 Stay with me! 1624 01:22:40,698 --> 01:22:42,441 (BEEPS) 1625 01:22:42,541 --> 01:22:44,723 (BEEPS) 1626 01:22:44,822 --> 01:22:46,825 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 1627 01:22:48,026 --> 01:22:50,027 (SCREAMING) 1628 01:22:55,514 --> 01:22:57,215 (GROWLING) 1629 01:22:57,316 --> 01:22:59,317 Nobody's better at the crane game than me. 1630 01:22:59,838 --> 01:23:01,420 Chewie? 1631 01:23:01,519 --> 01:23:03,382 What's with the disguise, buddy? 1632 01:23:03,482 --> 01:23:05,544 They tried to take me to some underground bunker, 1633 01:23:05,644 --> 01:23:07,646 so I went rogue. 1634 01:23:11,009 --> 01:23:14,312 Oh, yeah! 1635 01:23:14,411 --> 01:23:16,995 Wonder Kid, you gotta stay on the ground. These people need protection. 1636 01:23:17,095 --> 01:23:18,436 Oh, thank God. 1637 01:23:18,536 --> 01:23:20,697 Hey, live long, laugh much, love often. 1638 01:23:21,299 --> 01:23:22,360 Yeah. 1639 01:23:22,460 --> 01:23:23,762 That's it. 1640 01:23:23,862 --> 01:23:25,363 No. 1641 01:23:25,463 --> 01:23:27,465 Back it up. 1642 01:23:27,906 --> 01:23:29,687 Thanks for bein' my friend. 1643 01:23:29,786 --> 01:23:31,049 'Course, buddy. I love ya. 1644 01:23:31,149 --> 01:23:33,151 Now go kick some ass. 1645 01:23:35,873 --> 01:23:37,875 Mr. President, may I have a light cannon? 1646 01:23:43,401 --> 01:23:47,144 ♪ La la la la la la Sing a happy song 1647 01:23:47,245 --> 01:23:48,226 Ooh. 1648 01:23:48,326 --> 01:23:50,328 ♪ La la la la la la ♪ 1649 01:23:55,251 --> 01:23:57,254 Don't tell anyone I killed a Smurf. 1650 01:24:08,105 --> 01:24:10,107 (BIDDY BANDITS EXCLAIMING) 1651 01:24:10,587 --> 01:24:12,589 (CHILDREN SCREAMING) 1652 01:24:13,951 --> 01:24:15,132 Hey! 1653 01:24:15,232 --> 01:24:17,233 Get away from those kids now! 1654 01:24:18,996 --> 01:24:20,177 Please? 1655 01:24:20,277 --> 01:24:22,358 (BIDDY BANDITS EXCLAIMING) 1656 01:24:30,046 --> 01:24:32,049 LUDLOW: Hey! (EXCLAIMS) 1657 01:24:32,969 --> 01:24:34,971 (LAUGHS ECSTATICALLY) 1658 01:24:53,830 --> 01:24:57,414 I spent most of my formative years 1659 01:24:57,514 --> 01:24:59,656 trying to figure out a way to bring you to life 1660 01:24:59,756 --> 01:25:01,758 all Weird Science-style. 1661 01:25:02,398 --> 01:25:04,621 I used every birthday wish, 1662 01:25:04,721 --> 01:25:07,503 every 11:11 on the clock, 1663 01:25:07,603 --> 01:25:10,206 every little chicken wishbone I could find, and ladybug. 1664 01:25:11,046 --> 01:25:13,049 I prayed for this. 1665 01:25:15,251 --> 01:25:17,253 Oh. 1666 01:25:17,813 --> 01:25:19,814 But apparently, you don't feel the same. 1667 01:25:23,739 --> 01:25:25,741 (Q'BERT GRUNTING) 1668 01:25:28,544 --> 01:25:30,706 BRENNER: Okay. We're under it, Q'bert. Now what? 1669 01:25:35,590 --> 01:25:37,453 Well, well, well. 1670 01:25:37,553 --> 01:25:38,894 Look who's here. 1671 01:25:38,994 --> 01:25:40,976 Q'bert the traitor 1672 01:25:41,076 --> 01:25:43,379 and his cheating friends. 1673 01:25:43,479 --> 01:25:46,021 Come to beg for a second chance? 1674 01:25:46,121 --> 01:25:49,004 You're in luck. The boss wants to meet ya in person. 1675 01:25:49,965 --> 01:25:51,867 So come on up! 1676 01:25:51,966 --> 01:25:56,632 If you defeat him, you save your planet and destroy our warriors. 1677 01:25:56,732 --> 01:25:57,912 But if you lose... 1678 01:25:58,013 --> 01:26:00,015 (LAUGHS MANICALLY) 1679 01:26:09,144 --> 01:26:11,146 See you on the other side. 1680 01:26:21,436 --> 01:26:23,438 (LUDLOW GRUNTS) 1681 01:26:25,160 --> 01:26:27,161 You are so powerful, just as I... 1682 01:26:28,081 --> 01:26:30,084 (CHILDREN EXCLAIMING) 1683 01:26:33,046 --> 01:26:36,631 You win! I'm not gonna fight you anymore, okay? 1684 01:26:36,731 --> 01:26:38,953 I know that you have love in your heart, 1685 01:26:39,053 --> 01:26:42,276 and I know that I could make you happy, but if you need to kill me, 1686 01:26:42,376 --> 01:26:44,378 then you're just gonna have to go ahead and kill me. 1687 01:26:47,221 --> 01:26:50,985 At least I can die a happy man knowing that I found true love. 1688 01:27:21,134 --> 01:27:23,376 (CHILDREN CHEERING AND APPLAUDING) 1689 01:27:26,139 --> 01:27:28,762 And I couldn't even get a handshake from Serena Williams. 1690 01:27:28,862 --> 01:27:30,284 Well, well, well. 1691 01:27:30,384 --> 01:27:32,606 Didn't think I'd see you again. 1692 01:27:32,706 --> 01:27:36,329 I had to prove to myself and to the world that I could do this without cheating. 1693 01:27:36,429 --> 01:27:37,811 Wait, you cheated? 1694 01:27:37,911 --> 01:27:39,132 Moving on. 1695 01:27:39,232 --> 01:27:41,233 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 1696 01:27:45,598 --> 01:27:47,599 You gonna introduce me to your girlfriend? 1697 01:27:48,561 --> 01:27:50,563 Fiancee. 1698 01:28:04,497 --> 01:28:06,519 Where are we, Q'bert? What is this place? 1699 01:28:06,619 --> 01:28:07,920 I don't know. 1700 01:28:08,021 --> 01:28:10,022 But I'm scared. 1701 01:28:10,742 --> 01:28:12,745 Great. 1702 01:28:15,268 --> 01:28:17,310 (DISTANT THUDDING) 1703 01:28:20,633 --> 01:28:22,635 What is that noise? 1704 01:28:30,803 --> 01:28:32,804 (GRUNTS) What the hell was that? 1705 01:28:34,966 --> 01:28:36,969 (GROWLS) 1706 01:28:38,410 --> 01:28:40,513 Donkey Kong. 1707 01:28:40,613 --> 01:28:42,635 The one game you suck at. 1708 01:28:42,735 --> 01:28:43,996 Yeah. 1709 01:28:44,096 --> 01:28:45,077 (GROWLING) 1710 01:28:45,177 --> 01:28:47,079 MATTY: mum, up here! 1711 01:28:47,179 --> 01:28:48,599 Matty! 1712 01:28:48,700 --> 01:28:50,081 mum! 1713 01:28:50,182 --> 01:28:51,724 Where the hell is my mama? 1714 01:28:51,823 --> 01:28:53,805 We're coming for you, honey! 1715 01:28:53,906 --> 01:28:55,908 (GROWLS) 1716 01:28:59,590 --> 01:29:01,593 Q'BERT: Oh, no. 1717 01:29:03,515 --> 01:29:05,517 (SHUDDERING) 1718 01:29:19,250 --> 01:29:20,671 LUDLOW: There's too many of them! 1719 01:29:20,772 --> 01:29:22,774 This way! 1720 01:29:24,856 --> 01:29:26,858 Only one way to beat this game. Jump! 1721 01:29:29,019 --> 01:29:31,022 Up the ladder! Fast! 1722 01:29:33,063 --> 01:29:35,126 Incoming! 1723 01:29:35,226 --> 01:29:37,228 Oh! 1724 01:29:42,313 --> 01:29:44,314 (Q'BERT GRUNTING) 1725 01:29:49,400 --> 01:29:51,402 (VIOLET GRUNTS) 1726 01:29:54,885 --> 01:29:56,107 Q'bert! Look out! 1727 01:29:56,206 --> 01:29:58,069 (SCREAMING) Oh! 1728 01:29:58,169 --> 01:30:00,170 Q'bert! 1729 01:30:14,585 --> 01:30:17,007 BRENNER: I can't do this. There's no pattern. 1730 01:30:17,107 --> 01:30:19,590 Pretend you're the guy and you don't wanna die. 1731 01:30:20,310 --> 01:30:21,932 (GRUNTS) 1732 01:30:22,032 --> 01:30:23,694 I don't wanna die! 1733 01:30:23,794 --> 01:30:25,816 I couldn't even beat Eddie Plant! 1734 01:30:25,916 --> 01:30:29,419 Eddie Plant's a cheater! That's why he was so good in New York. 1735 01:30:29,519 --> 01:30:32,262 He used cheat codes. 1736 01:30:32,362 --> 01:30:36,066 He did the same thing to you when you were kids. 1737 01:30:36,166 --> 01:30:38,168 You know what that means, right? 1738 01:30:41,771 --> 01:30:44,875 I'm the Donkey Kong champion of the world. 1739 01:30:44,974 --> 01:30:47,397 And the Donkey Kong champion of the world doesn't need patterns. 1740 01:30:47,497 --> 01:30:49,119 Reset button. 1741 01:30:49,219 --> 01:30:51,221 (WE WILL ROCK YOU VONLICHTEN PLAYING) 1742 01:30:54,903 --> 01:30:57,286 ♪ Buddy you're a boy make a big noise 1743 01:30:57,387 --> 01:31:00,210 ♪ Playing in the street gonna be a big man some day 1744 01:31:00,310 --> 01:31:01,731 ♪ You got mud on your face 1745 01:31:01,831 --> 01:31:03,853 BRENNER: Freeze, Chewie! 1746 01:31:03,953 --> 01:31:06,295 ♪ Kickin' your can all over the place 1747 01:31:06,396 --> 01:31:09,599 ♪ Singin' We will, we will rock you 1748 01:31:10,119 --> 01:31:12,121 Brenner! 1749 01:31:12,482 --> 01:31:15,644 ♪ We will, we will rock you 1750 01:31:16,445 --> 01:31:17,706 (CHEERS PLAYFULLY) 1751 01:31:17,807 --> 01:31:19,809 mum, mum! Q'bert's not dead! 1752 01:31:21,250 --> 01:31:23,312 Q'BERT: Help me! Help me! 1753 01:31:23,411 --> 01:31:25,354 Nah, I'm pretty sure he's dead, Matty. 1754 01:31:25,454 --> 01:31:27,156 mum! 1755 01:31:27,256 --> 01:31:29,037 Q'BERT: Please. 1756 01:31:29,138 --> 01:31:30,358 (SIGHS) Okay, fine. 1757 01:31:30,459 --> 01:31:31,961 What? No! 1758 01:31:32,061 --> 01:31:33,202 No! 1759 01:31:33,302 --> 01:31:36,025 ♪ We will rock you 1760 01:31:39,548 --> 01:31:41,550 Violet, get outta there! 1761 01:31:45,073 --> 01:31:47,076 (GRUNTS) 1762 01:31:47,516 --> 01:31:49,518 Look out! 1763 01:31:55,764 --> 01:31:59,027 ♪ We will, we will rock you 1764 01:31:59,126 --> 01:32:01,129 LUDLOW: We're trapped! 1765 01:32:01,650 --> 01:32:05,072 ♪ We will, we will rock you 1766 01:32:05,173 --> 01:32:07,175 Brenner! 1767 01:32:07,616 --> 01:32:11,139 ♪ We will, we will rock you 1768 01:32:13,461 --> 01:32:17,726 ♪ We will, we will rock you ♪ 1769 01:32:17,826 --> 01:32:19,808 Here, grab onto my mighty hammer. 1770 01:32:19,908 --> 01:32:21,129 (GRUNTING) 1771 01:32:21,229 --> 01:32:22,930 (BRENNER GRUNTING) 1772 01:32:23,031 --> 01:32:24,052 You loved saying that. 1773 01:32:24,152 --> 01:32:26,153 Yes, I did. 1774 01:32:28,356 --> 01:32:31,399 Brenner! Whatever you're doing, please hurry up! 1775 01:32:40,527 --> 01:32:42,929 I've been waitin' to do this since 1982. 1776 01:32:44,411 --> 01:32:46,414 (GROWLS) 1777 01:32:46,813 --> 01:32:48,816 (GRUNTS) 1778 01:32:52,139 --> 01:32:54,141 (GROANING) 1779 01:32:55,582 --> 01:32:57,124 Yeah! 1780 01:32:57,224 --> 01:32:59,086 Yeah! Yes! 1781 01:32:59,186 --> 01:33:01,509 Q'BERT: (SINGSONG) Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 1782 01:33:13,560 --> 01:33:15,562 Matty! Oh, God! 1783 01:33:16,643 --> 01:33:19,186 You okay? Yeah. 1784 01:33:19,286 --> 01:33:21,628 You were so awesome down there! 1785 01:33:21,728 --> 01:33:22,870 You're my second favorite president. 1786 01:33:22,970 --> 01:33:24,111 You know Obama's still my man, right? 1787 01:33:24,211 --> 01:33:26,213 Oh, okay. 1788 01:33:34,141 --> 01:33:36,543 Hey! We won! 1789 01:33:37,424 --> 01:33:39,326 No more taxes! 1790 01:33:39,426 --> 01:33:40,327 (EDDIE CHUCKLES) 1791 01:33:40,427 --> 01:33:42,329 We did it, baby! 1792 01:33:42,429 --> 01:33:43,929 We did it. 1793 01:33:44,030 --> 01:33:45,331 No. 1794 01:33:45,432 --> 01:33:47,494 No. No! 1795 01:33:47,594 --> 01:33:50,337 Lady Lisa! 1796 01:33:50,437 --> 01:33:52,559 No! 1797 01:34:09,936 --> 01:34:12,078 Eddie, never thought I'd see you again. 1798 01:34:12,178 --> 01:34:13,960 Brenner, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for 1799 01:34:14,060 --> 01:34:15,882 cheatin' back in the day when we was kids, 1800 01:34:15,982 --> 01:34:18,284 and for cheatin' again more recently. (CHUCKLES) 1801 01:34:18,384 --> 01:34:19,965 I'm not goin' back to prison for that, am I? 1802 01:34:20,066 --> 01:34:21,687 No, but you need to admit to Brenner 1803 01:34:21,786 --> 01:34:23,489 that he's the best in the world. 1804 01:34:23,589 --> 01:34:25,251 (SCOFFS) Eh, no way. 1805 01:34:25,351 --> 01:34:27,253 Prison. 1806 01:34:27,353 --> 01:34:29,355 (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) 1807 01:34:29,995 --> 01:34:31,997 Brenner, 1808 01:34:34,079 --> 01:34:36,081 you are the best 1809 01:34:37,081 --> 01:34:39,084 in the world 1810 01:34:39,564 --> 01:34:41,607 at (CLEARS THROAT) the Donkey Kong. 1811 01:34:42,608 --> 01:34:44,028 That's right. I am. 1812 01:34:44,129 --> 01:34:46,512 Ludlow. What's the matter, buddy? 1813 01:34:46,612 --> 01:34:49,515 I finally had the one thing I wanted 1814 01:34:49,615 --> 01:34:51,637 and now I'm back to being all alone. 1815 01:34:51,737 --> 01:34:54,519 Lady Lisa, she made an appearance. 1816 01:34:54,620 --> 01:34:56,682 And while you guys were out, you know, 1817 01:34:56,782 --> 01:34:58,823 savin' the world, you kind of destroyed his. 1818 01:35:00,224 --> 01:35:02,206 Oh, that's horrible. 1819 01:35:02,307 --> 01:35:04,950 It's just, how come he gets to stay? Why are you still here? 1820 01:35:05,470 --> 01:35:07,132 I'm sorry. 1821 01:35:07,232 --> 01:35:08,774 Q'bert's a trophy. 1822 01:35:08,874 --> 01:35:10,896 And I guess we get to keep the trophies. 1823 01:35:10,996 --> 01:35:13,058 Yeah. 1824 01:35:13,158 --> 01:35:14,619 (SNIFFLES) 1825 01:35:14,719 --> 01:35:16,721 Q'BERT: Aw. 1826 01:35:20,485 --> 01:35:22,487 (MUMBLING) 1827 01:35:23,688 --> 01:35:25,689 Q'bert, what is it? 1828 01:35:38,863 --> 01:35:41,406 Aw. 1829 01:35:41,506 --> 01:35:44,608 Wait, no one else is weirded out by this? That was just Q'bert. 1830 01:35:44,709 --> 01:35:46,571 REPORTER: Mr. President! Please! Yes, Renee. 1831 01:35:46,670 --> 01:35:48,693 RENEE: Mr. President, are we out of danger? 1832 01:35:48,793 --> 01:35:51,415 Yes. In fact, I am pleased to announce 1833 01:35:51,515 --> 01:35:54,478 I have brokered a peace treaty with the alien invaders. 1834 01:35:57,201 --> 01:36:00,424 This peace is due to, and only due to 1835 01:36:00,524 --> 01:36:03,147 the bravery of the Arcaders, 1836 01:36:03,247 --> 01:36:06,490 who, against all odds, stepped up and saved us all. 1837 01:36:07,571 --> 01:36:08,992 Eddie Plant, 1838 01:36:09,093 --> 01:36:10,714 Ludlow Lamonsoff, 1839 01:36:10,813 --> 01:36:12,596 Sam Brenner, 1840 01:36:12,696 --> 01:36:14,697 and Lieutenant Colonel Violet Van Patten 1841 01:36:15,499 --> 01:36:17,641 are American heroes. 1842 01:36:17,741 --> 01:36:19,402 World heroes. 1843 01:36:19,503 --> 01:36:20,444 (CHEERING) 1844 01:36:20,544 --> 01:36:22,486 Yeah! 1845 01:36:22,586 --> 01:36:25,409 "World hero"? I guess you're not a nerd anymore. 1846 01:36:25,509 --> 01:36:27,611 You don't want me to stop being a nerd, ever. 1847 01:36:27,711 --> 01:36:29,293 (CHUCKLES) Why is that? 1848 01:36:29,393 --> 01:36:31,715 'Cause like I said, nerds are the greatest kissers. 1849 01:36:32,836 --> 01:36:34,838 I'll be the judge of that. 1850 01:36:39,603 --> 01:36:41,705 (SURRENDER PLAYING) 1851 01:36:41,804 --> 01:36:43,807 (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) 1852 01:36:53,897 --> 01:36:56,559 ♪ Mother told me Yes, she told me 1853 01:36:56,659 --> 01:37:00,643 ♪ That I'd meet girls like you 1854 01:37:00,742 --> 01:37:03,045 ♪ She also told me 1855 01:37:03,146 --> 01:37:08,331 ♪ Stay away You'll never know what you'll catch 1856 01:37:08,430 --> 01:37:14,617 ♪ Just the other day I heard of a soldier falling off 1857 01:37:14,716 --> 01:37:20,161 ♪ Some Indonesian junk that's going round 1858 01:37:22,525 --> 01:37:25,867 ♪ Your mummy's all right, your daddy's all right 1859 01:37:25,968 --> 01:37:29,352 ♪ They just seem a little weird 1860 01:37:29,452 --> 01:37:32,635 ♪ Surrender, surrender 1861 01:37:32,735 --> 01:37:37,459 ♪ But don't give yourself away 1862 01:37:38,621 --> 01:37:41,063 ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 1863 01:37:44,786 --> 01:37:46,789 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 1864 01:37:49,952 --> 01:37:52,695 LUDLOW: Hey, kids. Daddy's home. 1865 01:37:52,795 --> 01:37:53,856 Q'BERT BABY 1: Daddy! 1866 01:37:53,956 --> 01:37:54,977 Q'BERT BABY 2: Daddy! Daddy! 1867 01:37:55,077 --> 01:37:57,139 Dad! Dad! Daddy! Daddy! 1868 01:37:57,239 --> 01:37:59,241 Daddy! Daddy! 1869 01:38:00,762 --> 01:38:02,764 (GAME ON PLAYING) 1870 01:38:05,007 --> 01:38:07,709 ♪ This is not a game now 1871 01:38:07,809 --> 01:38:10,792 ♪ Nobody can save you 1872 01:38:10,892 --> 01:38:12,794 ♪ Spent up all your change 1873 01:38:12,894 --> 01:38:16,758 ♪ And now your turn is done 1874 01:38:16,858 --> 01:38:22,604 ♪ We won't be afraid 'cause we're the ones who made you 1875 01:38:22,704 --> 01:38:24,686 ♪ Knock you out the frame 1876 01:38:24,786 --> 01:38:27,369 ♪ We won't stop until you're gone 1877 01:38:27,469 --> 01:38:29,471 ♪ Game on 1878 01:38:39,000 --> 01:38:41,001 ♪ Game on 1879 01:38:46,247 --> 01:38:48,629 ♪ Assassin, soldier and a captain 1880 01:38:48,729 --> 01:38:51,512 ♪ Feel the passion, no compassion, but I'm askin' 1881 01:38:51,612 --> 01:38:54,235 ♪ You say you ready, well, I'm attackin' 1882 01:38:54,335 --> 01:38:57,238 ♪ A predator in my competitors this second 1883 01:38:57,338 --> 01:39:00,121 ♪ I'm never lackin' Boy, I'm ready for that action 1884 01:39:00,221 --> 01:39:03,563 ♪ That was braggin' Man, what happened to you has-beens? 1885 01:39:03,664 --> 01:39:06,487 ♪ It's amazin' all the places and the people faces 1886 01:39:06,587 --> 01:39:08,649 ♪ Ah, bought the tour bus like a spaceship 1887 01:39:08,749 --> 01:39:11,372 ♪ I'm racin' against nothin' but time 1888 01:39:11,472 --> 01:39:14,735 ♪ Probably wouldn't be so lost if you was watchin' the signs 1889 01:39:14,835 --> 01:39:17,858 ♪ They gon' play me like a PlayStation from playin' on that station 1890 01:39:17,957 --> 01:39:20,581 ♪ But I'm a be the face of a generation 1891 01:39:20,680 --> 01:39:23,744 ♪ Kids wit' no patience or directions 1892 01:39:23,844 --> 01:39:26,587 ♪ Never doubt or question my effort 1893 01:39:26,687 --> 01:39:29,590 ♪ Game on, game on Hope you people ready 1894 01:39:29,689 --> 01:39:31,671 ♪ I'm reloaded, and I hope my trigger finger steady 1895 01:39:31,772 --> 01:39:34,715 ♪ This is not a game now 1896 01:39:34,814 --> 01:39:37,758 ♪ Nobody can save you 1897 01:39:37,858 --> 01:39:39,800 ♪ Spent up all your change 1898 01:39:39,900 --> 01:39:43,402 ♪ And now your turn is done 1899 01:39:43,503 --> 01:39:47,007 ♪ We won't be afraid 'cause we're the ones 1900 01:39:47,107 --> 01:39:49,809 ♪ Who made you 1901 01:39:49,909 --> 01:39:53,974 ♪ Knock you out the frame We won't stop until you're gone 1902 01:39:54,073 --> 01:39:56,076 ♪ Game on 1903 01:40:05,804 --> 01:40:06,866 ♪ Game on 1904 01:40:06,965 --> 01:40:08,628 ♪ Can't Xbox me in 1905 01:40:08,728 --> 01:40:12,591 ♪ 'Cause in my lane no controller but me playin' my game 1906 01:40:12,692 --> 01:40:14,113 ♪ This a different league ♪ League 1907 01:40:14,213 --> 01:40:15,835 ♪ A different bracket 1908 01:40:15,935 --> 01:40:16,836 ♪ I'm a different gene ♪ Gene 1909 01:40:16,936 --> 01:40:18,478 ♪ A different faction 1910 01:40:18,578 --> 01:40:21,160 ♪ I will never fall off, I just fall back 1911 01:40:21,260 --> 01:40:24,724 ♪ Don't make me pull up, pull up where you boys ball at 1912 01:40:24,823 --> 01:40:27,006 ♪ And show you little fake hustlers what the trap is 1913 01:40:27,106 --> 01:40:30,049 ♪ I have you runnin' suicides all practice 1914 01:40:30,149 --> 01:40:32,812 ♪ I got warrior blood I fear no heir 1915 01:40:32,911 --> 01:40:35,855 ♪ No army, no weapon, no man 1916 01:40:35,955 --> 01:40:41,620 ♪ Killer instinct, I just go harder than harder hard, but I pull larger 1917 01:40:41,720 --> 01:40:44,783 ♪ I can't let you Mini-Mes steal my Austin Powers 1918 01:40:44,883 --> 01:40:47,186 ♪ I've traveled plenty seas, spent many hours 1919 01:40:47,286 --> 01:40:49,908 ♪ To make Flocka be the best he can be 1920 01:40:50,008 --> 01:40:52,430 ♪ So you gon' show respect when you talkin' to me 1921 01:40:52,531 --> 01:40:55,834 ♪ That number one spot legacy I see is my hit 1922 01:40:55,934 --> 01:40:58,637 ♪ And what you take what you is, what you leave behind 1923 01:40:58,737 --> 01:41:01,160 ♪ This is not a game now 1924 01:41:01,260 --> 01:41:04,363 ♪ Nobody can save you 1925 01:41:04,463 --> 01:41:06,685 ♪ Spent up all your change 1926 01:41:06,785 --> 01:41:10,088 ♪ And now your turn is done 1927 01:41:10,188 --> 01:41:16,054 ♪ We won't be afraid 'cause we're the ones who made you 1928 01:41:16,153 --> 01:41:18,256 ♪ Knock you out the frame ♪ Squat, squat 1929 01:41:18,356 --> 01:41:19,777 ♪ We won't stop until you're gone 1930 01:41:19,878 --> 01:41:21,459 ♪ Squat, squat, squat, squat 1931 01:41:21,559 --> 01:41:24,803 ♪ Game on ♪ Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up 1932 01:41:26,885 --> 01:41:30,608 ♪ Game on ♪ Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up 1933 01:41:32,769 --> 01:41:34,772 ♪ Game on ♪