1
00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:48,247
[Speaking fantasy language]

2
00:00:48,247 --> 00:00:50,382
[Speaking fantasy language]

3
00:00:50,382 --> 00:00:52,584
Seriously, her pussy
is, like, falling out.

4
00:00:52,584 --> 00:00:54,186
Someone needs to feed that thing

5
00:00:54,186 --> 00:00:55,254
Before it eats her shorts.

6
00:00:55,254 --> 00:00:59,791
[Speaking fantasy language]

7
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:02,994
What are you faggots talking about?

8
00:01:02,994 --> 00:01:04,530
No. You must be mistaken.

9
00:01:04,530 --> 00:01:06,165
We're not gay.

10
00:01:06,165 --> 00:01:08,667
You choads were checking
out my ass, weren't you?

11
00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:10,202
I-I-I wasn't.

12
00:01:10,202 --> 00:01:12,371
Well, at least I'm not gay.

13
00:01:13,739 --> 00:01:16,074
Fuck you.

14
00:01:21,947 --> 00:01:25,083
Come on. Stick it in the hole! Yeah!

15
00:01:25,083 --> 00:01:26,084
I got one more.
I got one more.

16
00:01:26,084 --> 00:01:27,153
Bring it.
Bring it, baby.

17
00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:28,086
Bring it, baby.
Bring it, baby.

18
00:01:28,086 --> 00:01:29,087
Push it. Push it.

19
00:01:29,087 --> 00:01:30,489
Let me see you stick it.

20
00:01:30,489 --> 00:01:32,958
Oh, that's such a bulge.

21
00:01:32,958 --> 00:01:34,793
What is that, like, 100 pounds?

22
00:01:34,793 --> 00:01:35,794
No, it's 40.

23
00:01:35,794 --> 00:01:36,795
Oh, okay, I got it.

24
00:01:36,795 --> 00:01:37,663
Come on.
Bring it down.

25
00:01:37,663 --> 00:01:38,930
I got one more.
I got one more.

26
00:01:38,930 --> 00:01:40,065
Let's see that bicep bulge, baby.

27
00:01:40,065 --> 00:01:41,400
Here we go.
Here we go. This is it.

28
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,202
I wanna see your bulge.
I wanna see your bulge.

29
00:01:43,202 --> 00:01:44,203
It's a flex-off.

30
00:01:44,203 --> 00:01:45,704
Oh, my God.

31
00:01:45,704 --> 00:01:47,072
Yeah. You feel that?

32
00:01:47,072 --> 00:01:48,940
Oh!

33
00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:50,609
Oh, man, I felt your bulge.

34
00:01:50,609 --> 00:01:52,811
Oh, God. My sweater's all nasty.

35
00:01:52,811 --> 00:01:53,979
[Clears throat]

36
00:01:53,979 --> 00:01:56,448
What's up?

37
00:01:56,448 --> 00:01:59,718
Yeah, one English lit 435 paper.

38
00:01:59,718 --> 00:02:02,554
The freudian interpretation
of the bell jar.

39
00:02:02,554 --> 00:02:03,555
Yeah, put it...
Put it there.

40
00:02:03,555 --> 00:02:05,391
The football team thanks you

41
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:06,992
For keeping me on the field.

42
00:02:06,992 --> 00:02:08,794
Our pleasure.

43
00:02:08,794 --> 00:02:10,429
Which is why I went ahead and got you guys

44
00:02:10,429 --> 00:02:12,030
A little token of my gratitude.

45
00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:13,565
Call it something special

46
00:02:13,565 --> 00:02:15,467
For being so contingent.

47
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:16,635
Yeah.

48
00:02:16,635 --> 00:02:18,337
Uh, consistent.

49
00:02:20,005 --> 00:02:22,274
Yeah, whatever.
[Laughs]

50
00:02:22,274 --> 00:02:23,309
You're gonna love this.

51
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,876
We can pledge next semester?

52
00:02:24,876 --> 00:02:27,145
[Both laugh]

53
00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:35,086
Oh, please. [Laughs]

54
00:02:35,086 --> 00:02:37,289
Oh, lower it down.
Lower it down.

55
00:02:37,289 --> 00:02:38,657
Oh, use my shit, bro.

56
00:02:38,657 --> 00:02:39,491
Oh, my God.

57
00:02:39,491 --> 00:02:41,092
That's what bros are for, bro.

58
00:02:41,092 --> 00:02:42,093
You got that much game?

59
00:02:42,093 --> 00:02:43,094
Oh, yeah.

60
00:02:43,094 --> 00:02:44,129
Man, you shave your...

61
00:02:44,129 --> 00:02:46,265
Dude, yeah, man.
Chicks dig it.

62
00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:47,666
Oh, Jesus, that was good.

63
00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:49,201
Oh, my.

64
00:02:49,201 --> 00:02:50,536
Where was I?

65
00:02:50,536 --> 00:02:53,405
You were about to give us
$300 for the homework.

66
00:02:53,405 --> 00:02:54,506
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

67
00:02:54,506 --> 00:02:56,408
Anyway, I thought, like, this time,

68
00:02:56,408 --> 00:03:00,279
Something instead of money.

69
00:03:00,279 --> 00:03:01,447
No way, man.
We said 300.

70
00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:02,448
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

71
00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:05,183
Hold up, Frodo and Frodette.

72
00:03:05,183 --> 00:03:06,552
Oh, burn!

73
00:03:06,552 --> 00:03:09,087
Oh, yeah!

74
00:03:09,087 --> 00:03:10,622
Anyway, yeah, so I made some calls

75
00:03:10,622 --> 00:03:12,424
And, like, I could get you guys

76
00:03:12,424 --> 00:03:14,626
Into what promises to be...

77
00:03:14,626 --> 00:03:16,928
Wait for it...

78
00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:22,868
The best party of the decade

79
00:03:22,868 --> 00:03:24,135
Tomorrow night.

80
00:03:24,135 --> 00:03:25,737
We're listening.
No, thanks.

81
00:03:25,737 --> 00:03:27,839
Yeah.
No.

82
00:03:27,839 --> 00:03:30,208
No.
Yeah.

83
00:03:30,208 --> 00:03:32,611
Right. Well, maybe you guys have heard

84
00:03:32,611 --> 00:03:36,282
Of the Hollywood fucking hills.

85
00:03:37,316 --> 00:03:39,451
Anyway, yeah, my boy's working the door,

86
00:03:39,451 --> 00:03:42,588
And I can't go because, uh,

87
00:03:42,588 --> 00:03:45,056
Well, I'm fucking both of your moms

88
00:03:45,056 --> 00:03:46,191
In the ass.

89
00:03:46,191 --> 00:03:47,793
Oh, burn!

90
00:03:47,793 --> 00:03:49,861
Oh, it burns so good.

91
00:03:49,861 --> 00:03:51,497
Jk, bro, jk.

92
00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:54,199
I mean, this is probably going to be

93
00:03:54,199 --> 00:03:56,402
The most pussy there's ever been

94
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,970
In one place guaranteed.

95
00:03:58,970 --> 00:04:00,038
Oh, yeah?

96
00:04:00,038 --> 00:04:02,308
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, no B.S., bra.

97
00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:04,810
Thanks for the offer, but we want the money.

98
00:04:04,810 --> 00:04:07,245
The money?

99
00:04:07,245 --> 00:04:10,782
Okay. All right.
Hey, it's your call.

100
00:04:10,782 --> 00:04:12,050
I mean, I just thought maybe you guys,

101
00:04:12,050 --> 00:04:14,085
Like, actually wanted to get laid

102
00:04:14,085 --> 00:04:15,554
And go to a party

103
00:04:15,554 --> 00:04:18,957
Before you graduate...
Or die.

104
00:04:18,957 --> 00:04:20,158
Oh, double burn.

105
00:04:20,158 --> 00:04:21,293
Twice.

106
00:04:21,293 --> 00:04:24,262
Yeah, have fun staying at home

107
00:04:24,262 --> 00:04:26,865
With your whack pack of super nerd shut-ins.

108
00:04:26,865 --> 00:04:27,866
Oh!

109
00:04:27,866 --> 00:04:28,667
Doing whatever, man.

110
00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:30,969
All right.
I'll get the cash.

111
00:04:30,969 --> 00:04:33,305
Wait!

112
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:37,676
An opportunity like this

113
00:04:37,676 --> 00:04:39,411
Only comes once in a lifetime.

114
00:04:39,411 --> 00:04:41,279
You let him gyp us out of $300.

115
00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:42,548
How's that an opportunity?

116
00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,416
It's time we stopped playing video games.

117
00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:47,218
We need to get some tail
physically, not digitally.

118
00:04:47,218 --> 00:04:49,388
We speak elvish, okay?

119
00:04:49,388 --> 00:04:50,389
Nobody even wants to be

120
00:04:50,389 --> 00:04:51,390
In the same time zone as us,

121
00:04:51,390 --> 00:04:52,658
Let alone a Hollywood party.

122
00:04:52,658 --> 00:04:54,393
I'm not going, man.
No way.

123
00:04:54,393 --> 00:04:56,795
Dude, don't take your blue balls out on me

124
00:04:56,795 --> 00:04:59,264
Just because your girlfriend
locked her pussy up in fort knox

125
00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:00,799
And gave the key to Jesus.

126
00:05:00,799 --> 00:05:01,767
Shut up, dude.

127
00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:04,069
No, I'm not going alone.
You're going.

128
00:05:04,069 --> 00:05:05,604
Well, then we're not going,

129
00:05:05,604 --> 00:05:06,938
And we're out three bills,

130
00:05:06,938 --> 00:05:07,739
So that's great.

131
00:05:07,739 --> 00:05:10,442
Fine. I'll go with the clan.

132
00:05:10,442 --> 00:05:13,044
The clan?
Yeah, let's see.

133
00:05:13,044 --> 00:05:14,546
Kwan barely speaks English,

134
00:05:14,546 --> 00:05:17,182
Marcus' condition doesn't allow
him to talk to girls,

135
00:05:17,182 --> 00:05:18,850
Doug's restraining order

136
00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:20,852
Canvasses all of Los Angeles.

137
00:05:20,852 --> 00:05:23,455
I'm pretty sure that includes the hills.

138
00:05:24,923 --> 00:05:25,857
Look, I'm sick and tired

139
00:05:25,857 --> 00:05:27,459
Of you moping around all the time.

140
00:05:27,459 --> 00:05:29,127
You need to get laid.

141
00:05:29,127 --> 00:05:30,128
Whatever.

142
00:05:30,128 --> 00:05:32,063
No, no.

143
00:05:32,063 --> 00:05:33,331
Just because my grandma

144
00:05:33,331 --> 00:05:34,866
Has a better sex drive than your girlfriend

145
00:05:34,866 --> 00:05:37,202
Doesn't give you an excuse to be a cock.

146
00:05:37,202 --> 00:05:38,604
Forget about my relationship.

147
00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:40,071
Look, you're either going solo,

148
00:05:40,071 --> 00:05:41,072
Or you're not going at all.

149
00:05:41,072 --> 00:05:42,340
And if you do decide to go,

150
00:05:42,340 --> 00:05:43,575
I'm gonna laugh my ass off

151
00:05:43,575 --> 00:05:45,977
When you get kicked out.

152
00:05:47,379 --> 00:05:49,047
Speak of the devil and she appears.

153
00:05:49,047 --> 00:05:51,082
And in her mormon undergarments, no less.

154
00:05:51,082 --> 00:05:52,384
Shut the fuck up, man.

155
00:05:52,384 --> 00:05:54,352
No, dude. It's time to draw a line in the sand

156
00:05:54,352 --> 00:05:55,554
Or move on.

157
00:05:55,554 --> 00:05:56,888
Your virginity's not getting any younger.

158
00:05:56,888 --> 00:05:58,223
You gonna finally have the talk?

159
00:05:58,223 --> 00:05:59,224
I've been trying.

160
00:05:59,224 --> 00:06:00,258
Hey!

161
00:06:00,258 --> 00:06:01,259
Hello, Ed.

162
00:06:01,259 --> 00:06:02,428
Hey.

163
00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:03,529
Loser.

164
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:04,730
Goodbye, Ed.

165
00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:07,699
[Speaking fantasy language]

166
00:06:09,234 --> 00:06:10,936
Yeah.
So I was wondering.

167
00:06:10,936 --> 00:06:12,471
Maybe we could go to nona's tonight

168
00:06:12,471 --> 00:06:14,473
And hang out with their youth group for a while.

169
00:06:14,473 --> 00:06:16,642
I don't know, Kim.

170
00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:18,910
What do you not know about?

171
00:06:20,278 --> 00:06:24,082
I think just maybe we should talk.

172
00:06:24,082 --> 00:06:26,752
Okay. What's the matter?

173
00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:27,986
The same thing that's been the matter

174
00:06:27,986 --> 00:06:29,955
For the past three and a half years.

175
00:06:29,955 --> 00:06:30,889
The sex thing again?

176
00:06:30,889 --> 00:06:32,558
Look, I know it's a broken record.

177
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:35,293
It's just, I have to...

178
00:06:35,293 --> 00:06:36,928
I have to lay down the law.

179
00:06:36,928 --> 00:06:38,430
The law?

180
00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:40,131
I don't wanna go through college a virgin.

181
00:06:40,131 --> 00:06:41,600
You know what?

182
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,535
Just go back to your porn stars
and your hand lotion.

183
00:06:43,535 --> 00:06:44,936
Leave Emily Addison out of this.

184
00:06:44,936 --> 00:06:47,272
Ross, just met me at youth group tonight.

185
00:06:47,272 --> 00:06:48,674
Arghhhh!

186
00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:52,678
Okay.

187
00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:55,146
Maybe after, we could do some
under the clothes touching?

188
00:06:58,049 --> 00:06:59,651
If you're good.

189
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:03,755
All right.
See you later.

190
00:07:03,755 --> 00:07:05,156
Fuck!

191
00:07:07,325 --> 00:07:09,461
Hey, get to work.

192
00:07:09,461 --> 00:07:11,329
I'm not paying you $4.99 a minute

193
00:07:11,329 --> 00:07:12,464
Just to get to know you better.

194
00:07:12,464 --> 00:07:14,566
Hey, Doug, fuck you, okay?

195
00:07:14,566 --> 00:07:16,001
If you weren't our webmaster.

196
00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:19,170
You'd probably be working at
a drive-through somewhere.

197
00:07:19,170 --> 00:07:20,271
Burger boy.

198
00:07:20,271 --> 00:07:21,807
Hey, there is nothing in the law

199
00:07:21,807 --> 00:07:23,609
That says I cannot spend
money where I work.

200
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,977
Now suck titty.

201
00:07:35,053 --> 00:07:37,589
Okay, ladies, let's slay us a dragon.

202
00:07:37,589 --> 00:07:38,924
Kwan, sign on.

203
00:07:41,459 --> 00:07:43,028
Kwan-ho, let's go.

204
00:07:43,028 --> 00:07:45,330
Ed: Marcus?

205
00:07:45,330 --> 00:07:46,331
Artemis at the ready.

206
00:07:46,331 --> 00:07:48,967
Let's go.

207
00:07:50,502 --> 00:07:52,504
Look, I know I helped your ass-burgers

208
00:07:52,504 --> 00:07:54,506
To get into character, Balakas,

209
00:07:54,506 --> 00:07:55,941
But lay off the R.P.

210
00:07:57,576 --> 00:08:00,345
Hey, no, no, no.

211
00:08:00,345 --> 00:08:01,613
What are you doing?
You're pro.

212
00:08:01,613 --> 00:08:03,582
You don't need me to talk you through this.

213
00:08:06,518 --> 00:08:07,886
Fucking Doug.

214
00:08:07,886 --> 00:08:10,488
Seriously, after the game, dude.

215
00:08:10,488 --> 00:08:12,490
Look, my dick needs attention.

216
00:08:12,490 --> 00:08:14,760
Fat ass.

217
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,628
Oh, you wanna play?

218
00:08:16,628 --> 00:08:18,564
I can do that.

219
00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:23,702
Time for a raid.

220
00:08:29,841 --> 00:08:31,543
Shit.

221
00:08:31,543 --> 00:08:33,111
Take that, bitch!

222
00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:42,220
[Girls laughing]

223
00:08:44,455 --> 00:08:46,257
Marcus!

224
00:08:46,257 --> 00:08:47,659
Hear me! Hear me!

225
00:08:47,659 --> 00:08:48,994
Hear you? Aye.

226
00:08:52,530 --> 00:08:53,832
Yeah!

227
00:08:56,735 --> 00:09:02,774
Aah! Ha ha ha!

228
00:09:07,012 --> 00:09:10,849
Douglas J.K.

229
00:09:16,321 --> 00:09:17,723
That was hella funny.

230
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,691
Whoo! And I recorded that shit, too.

231
00:09:19,691 --> 00:09:22,828
Upload. That's gonna get
so many fucking views.

232
00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:25,597
Fuck this! I'm gonna kick
your fat fucking ass.

233
00:09:25,597 --> 00:09:27,198
Ladies, I just did an epic raid.

234
00:09:27,198 --> 00:09:28,934
Let's do this.

235
00:09:28,934 --> 00:09:31,670
Is it beating fast for you, Gina?

236
00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:32,838
Oh, yes, it is.

237
00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:34,172
Get out here, snack boy.

238
00:09:34,172 --> 00:09:35,340
You're about to get a long overdue ass-whupping.

239
00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:37,075
Oh!
Oh!

240
00:09:37,075 --> 00:09:39,410
That fat ass will jerk off forever.

241
00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:40,846
Lick my dick.

242
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:42,981
Yes, lick kwan's penis, you dick.

243
00:09:42,981 --> 00:09:46,317
[Speaking fantasy language]

244
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,089
No.
No.

245
00:09:53,725 --> 00:09:55,093
You know, he's like your little brother

246
00:09:55,093 --> 00:09:58,797
That, like, never gets laid, you know?

247
00:09:58,797 --> 00:10:01,366
Oh... Oh...
Hey, what the fuck?

248
00:10:01,366 --> 00:10:02,500
You're on the clock.

249
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:03,735
Not cool.

250
00:10:03,735 --> 00:10:06,404
You should never intentionally wipe a raid.

251
00:10:06,404 --> 00:10:07,806
I'm gonna report you to buck.

252
00:10:07,806 --> 00:10:09,074
I'm the best webmaster

253
00:10:09,074 --> 00:10:10,809
That the porndarosa's got.

254
00:10:10,809 --> 00:10:12,143
You gotta be nice to me.

255
00:10:12,143 --> 00:10:13,344
By the way, funboy,

256
00:10:13,344 --> 00:10:17,415
Buck said that you better get
current on your bill

257
00:10:17,415 --> 00:10:19,751
Or he's gonna fire your ass.

258
00:10:19,751 --> 00:10:21,753
The last time buck fired someone,

259
00:10:21,753 --> 00:10:23,755
He literally fired a shot at them.

260
00:10:23,755 --> 00:10:26,257
At their ass.

261
00:10:26,257 --> 00:10:28,727
Log out.

262
00:10:28,727 --> 00:10:31,229
Hey, guys?

263
00:10:31,229 --> 00:10:32,698
Guys?

264
00:10:35,233 --> 00:10:37,769
Guys? Look, I'm just fucking around, guys.

265
00:10:37,769 --> 00:10:40,238
Come on.
Porno's off. Let's go.

266
00:10:40,238 --> 00:10:42,774
Guys?

267
00:10:42,774 --> 00:10:44,642
Damn that shit.

268
00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:07,265
Whoo!

269
00:11:09,267 --> 00:11:10,736
Whoo!

270
00:11:17,542 --> 00:11:18,676
Play it cool, guys.

271
00:11:18,676 --> 00:11:21,079
[Speaking broken English]

272
00:11:21,079 --> 00:11:23,081
What was I thinking?
We don't belong here.

273
00:11:23,081 --> 00:11:24,515
Marcus, need a drink, man?

274
00:11:24,515 --> 00:11:25,583
What do I do to get one?

275
00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:27,352
Turn around.
Ask the waitress.

276
00:11:29,821 --> 00:11:30,989
Waitress: What can I get you?

277
00:11:30,989 --> 00:11:32,690
You don't need to get me anything,

278
00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:33,959
I don't think.

279
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:35,761
Wait, maybe you do.

280
00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:37,228
He'll have a Jack and coke.

281
00:11:51,576 --> 00:11:52,677
Maybe we should split up.

282
00:11:52,677 --> 00:11:54,179
We won't attract as much attention.

283
00:11:54,179 --> 00:11:55,080
Good idea.

284
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,282
The museum.
Come on.

285
00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:05,957
I got enough data stored in my spank bank

286
00:12:05,957 --> 00:12:07,392
To jerk off for the next four years.

287
00:12:07,392 --> 00:12:08,927
Are you blind?
We gotta get out of here.

288
00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:10,028
They know we're not supposed to be here.

289
00:12:10,028 --> 00:12:11,396
We're gonna get our asses kicked.

290
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:12,998
I'm fucking one of these
chicks tonight. You watch.

291
00:12:12,998 --> 00:12:14,599
Get it through your head, Ed.

292
00:12:14,599 --> 00:12:15,867
No chicks are gonna touch us.

293
00:12:15,867 --> 00:12:17,102
[Footsteps]

294
00:12:51,236 --> 00:12:52,871
She's not wearing any underwear.

295
00:12:52,871 --> 00:12:54,072
I know.

296
00:12:56,207 --> 00:12:58,810
Oh. [Giggles]

297
00:13:10,822 --> 00:13:12,858
Oh, God.

298
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,792
She's doing coke.

299
00:13:14,792 --> 00:13:17,062
[Snorts]

300
00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:18,864
What does she want?

301
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:28,673
Oh, shit.
You scared me.

302
00:13:28,673 --> 00:13:30,675
How did you get in here?

303
00:13:30,675 --> 00:13:33,211
Oh, I, uh...

304
00:13:33,211 --> 00:13:34,545
[Laughs]
It's okay, darling.

305
00:13:34,545 --> 00:13:37,916
Listen, you kind of caught me
white handed here,

306
00:13:37,916 --> 00:13:41,319
So you know what that means.

307
00:13:41,319 --> 00:13:42,787
I'll give you a little bump.

308
00:13:42,787 --> 00:13:44,555
No, thanks. I...

309
00:13:44,555 --> 00:13:46,357
Come on. It's good.

310
00:13:46,357 --> 00:13:48,894
Wait a minute. Wait.
You're mellony Adams.

311
00:13:49,961 --> 00:13:51,829
You were in thunder run 3.

312
00:13:51,829 --> 00:13:52,830
Holy shit.

313
00:13:52,830 --> 00:13:54,966
[Laughs]
That piece of shit?

314
00:13:54,966 --> 00:13:56,968
Oh, my God.

315
00:13:56,968 --> 00:14:00,171
You killed my sister.

316
00:14:00,171 --> 00:14:01,572
And now you have to...

317
00:14:01,572 --> 00:14:03,674
[Together]
Face my wrath!

318
00:14:03,674 --> 00:14:06,244
Best catch phrase ever. Yeah!

319
00:14:06,244 --> 00:14:08,446
God, what...
No, no, no, no.

320
00:14:08,446 --> 00:14:13,118
Listen, you try to be typecast at my age,

321
00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:17,122
And you take every fricking loathing line

322
00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:21,526
And you try to make it
into this... Something.

323
00:14:21,526 --> 00:14:24,095
Except... Except...

324
00:14:24,095 --> 00:14:25,830
For these lines.

325
00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:28,533
[Laughs]

326
00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:30,568
Oh, man.

327
00:14:32,570 --> 00:14:34,872
Whoo! Damn!
Whoo-hoo!

328
00:14:34,872 --> 00:14:36,474
Try it.

329
00:14:36,474 --> 00:14:38,643
It's really good.

330
00:14:43,481 --> 00:14:45,416
Whoo!

331
00:14:46,617 --> 00:14:47,852
It's so good,

332
00:14:47,852 --> 00:14:50,021
It make you wanna move, doesn't it? Whoo!

333
00:14:50,021 --> 00:14:51,489
No, it hurts.

334
00:14:51,489 --> 00:14:53,925
[Laughs]

335
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,262
Listen, what's your name?

336
00:14:57,262 --> 00:14:58,063
Ed.

337
00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,664
Oh, yeah? Ed?

338
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,202
I know we just met, Ed,

339
00:15:04,202 --> 00:15:06,337
But would you like to drink

340
00:15:06,337 --> 00:15:09,574
A little champagne with me?

341
00:15:11,943 --> 00:15:14,379
Whoo! Yeah!

342
00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:35,566
You don't belong here, asshole.

343
00:15:35,566 --> 00:15:37,468
I beg your pardon?

344
00:15:37,468 --> 00:15:40,105
He's talking to you, poindexter.

345
00:15:41,939 --> 00:15:44,075
Look, we're gonna throw you the fuck out

346
00:15:44,075 --> 00:15:45,543
Unless you do something for us.

347
00:15:45,543 --> 00:15:47,378
Like what?

348
00:15:48,779 --> 00:15:50,715
Kind of hot in here, though.

349
00:15:50,715 --> 00:15:53,418
I think I'm overdressed.

350
00:15:53,418 --> 00:15:55,420
Ed, could you help me with that, please?

351
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:58,356
Oh, that's no problem.
No problem.

352
00:15:58,356 --> 00:15:59,557
Here we go.

353
00:15:59,557 --> 00:16:02,227
Wow, my friends are never
gonna believe I did this.

354
00:16:02,227 --> 00:16:03,794
This is fucking insane.

355
00:16:03,794 --> 00:16:07,265
Well, it's good to get a little
crazy sometimes, darling.

356
00:16:07,265 --> 00:16:09,800
Yeah. This may be a little off subject,

357
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,237
But you haven't heard of any
of those new cell phones

358
00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:15,273
That have cameras and record videos.

359
00:16:15,273 --> 00:16:18,176
I don't know.
I must have one.

360
00:16:18,176 --> 00:16:21,912
Oh, shut up and grab my rocking tits.

361
00:16:21,912 --> 00:16:24,082
That's what I call a catch phrase.

362
00:16:24,082 --> 00:16:26,084
Whoo!
Whoa!

363
00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:28,786
Whoo! [Giggles]

364
00:16:28,786 --> 00:16:30,988
This is gonna be fun.

365
00:16:32,557 --> 00:16:35,326
See that sizzling hot
blonde chick over there?

366
00:16:37,395 --> 00:16:41,099
The one next to that huge MMA
looking motherfucker.

367
00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:43,034
Affirmative.

368
00:16:43,034 --> 00:16:44,402
Here's what you're gonna do.

369
00:16:44,402 --> 00:16:48,373
You're gonna walk your
puny little ass over there,

370
00:16:48,373 --> 00:16:49,807
And you're gonna ask her,

371
00:16:49,807 --> 00:16:52,410
Can I get all up in that labe?

372
00:16:54,679 --> 00:16:56,281
Labe? Are you referring

373
00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:58,416
To that lady's labia majora?

374
00:16:58,416 --> 00:17:00,651
Hey, we call it labe for short.

375
00:17:01,919 --> 00:17:05,123
Kwan.

376
00:17:06,591 --> 00:17:08,193
Oh, yes!

377
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:09,960
Yes, right there.

378
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,962
Oh! Oh, yes.

379
00:17:11,962 --> 00:17:14,499
Holy shit, you better be recording this.

380
00:17:14,499 --> 00:17:15,700
What?

381
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:16,701
Nothing.

382
00:17:16,701 --> 00:17:19,537
[Moaning]

383
00:17:19,537 --> 00:17:21,272
Oh, yes, Ed.

384
00:17:21,272 --> 00:17:23,108
Teach my pussy.

385
00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:25,443
Sex me, Ed.

386
00:17:25,443 --> 00:17:27,145
Sex-Ed.

387
00:17:27,145 --> 00:17:29,080
Teach my pussy.

388
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,449
Yeah!

389
00:17:31,449 --> 00:17:33,651
♪ you know you gals, you kind of sexy ♪

390
00:17:33,651 --> 00:17:35,586
♪ don't let no man tell you
that you ain't nothing ♪

391
00:17:35,586 --> 00:17:36,921
♪ they're trying to abuse you ♪

392
00:17:36,921 --> 00:17:38,223
♪ and make you feel like... ♪

393
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,925
♪ you can do way, way better than that ♪

394
00:17:40,925 --> 00:17:42,093
♪ you can do way, way... ♪

395
00:17:42,093 --> 00:17:44,929
Oh, man, Ron's gonna fuck that kid up.

396
00:17:44,929 --> 00:17:47,265
No doubt.

397
00:17:47,265 --> 00:17:50,168
Um... Hello. Hi.

398
00:17:50,168 --> 00:17:52,570
Um, those gentlemen over there

399
00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:54,872
Are asking me to ask you, um...

400
00:17:54,872 --> 00:17:57,208
If I could get up in your labe.

401
00:17:57,208 --> 00:17:59,076
Excuse me?

402
00:17:59,076 --> 00:18:00,511
If I could get up in your labe.

403
00:18:00,511 --> 00:18:02,747
But I think they were referring
to you labia majora

404
00:18:02,747 --> 00:18:04,949
Or the fold of skin on the
outsides of your vagina

405
00:18:04,949 --> 00:18:06,217
Encasing the vulva.

406
00:18:06,217 --> 00:18:08,353
Oh, my fucking God.

407
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:09,420
Ron, did you hear

408
00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:10,888
What he was just telling me?

409
00:18:10,888 --> 00:18:13,458
What's up, babe?

410
00:18:16,127 --> 00:18:17,895
What?

411
00:18:17,895 --> 00:18:19,397
Aah!

412
00:18:19,397 --> 00:18:22,267
♪ from there, you can do
way, way better than that ♪

413
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:26,404
♪ you can do way, way better than that ♪

414
00:18:26,404 --> 00:18:29,307
Pshht.
What a dick.

415
00:18:49,126 --> 00:18:51,529
Motherfucker!

416
00:18:53,531 --> 00:18:55,132
Shit, is that Mellony Adams?

417
00:18:55,132 --> 00:18:56,467
Aah!

418
00:18:58,169 --> 00:19:00,305
Oh, my God.
I fucked Mellony Adams,

419
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,339
And I have proof.

420
00:19:01,339 --> 00:19:03,140
Best night of my fucking life.

421
00:19:03,140 --> 00:19:05,176
Oh, my God. Wait until Doug hears about this.

422
00:19:05,176 --> 00:19:07,011
Roll up the window, man.

423
00:19:07,011 --> 00:19:09,146
What are you doing?

424
00:19:09,146 --> 00:19:12,317
Oh, my God. Marcus needs to go to a hospital.

425
00:19:14,252 --> 00:19:15,420
You okay?

426
00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:16,954
Did I get to see her labia?

427
00:19:16,954 --> 00:19:20,325
[Speaking broken English]

428
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,693
I deem the knockout to be worth it.

429
00:19:22,693 --> 00:19:25,430
Dudes, we hung out with actual girls.

430
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:26,897
I'm glad you're okay.

431
00:19:26,897 --> 00:19:29,400
He's okay.
He's okay. Whoo!

432
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,369
Best 300 bucks we've ever spent.

433
00:19:31,369 --> 00:19:33,704
Epic win!
Epic win!

434
00:19:33,704 --> 00:19:35,039
Epic won.

435
00:19:35,039 --> 00:19:37,442
♪ me and my wang ♪

436
00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:39,577
♪ just hanging out on the porch ♪

437
00:19:39,577 --> 00:19:41,446
♪ drinking a beer ♪

438
00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:43,814
♪ hand down my pants and doing my thing ♪

439
00:19:43,814 --> 00:19:46,517
♪ I'm drinking a beer and playing with my wang ♪

440
00:19:46,517 --> 00:19:50,154
♪ whoo hoo-hoo hoo-hoo-hoo ♪

441
00:19:50,154 --> 00:19:53,558
[Imitating guitar solo]

442
00:19:53,558 --> 00:19:55,993
Oh, where the fuck you guys go?

443
00:19:55,993 --> 00:19:57,194
Oh, nowhere,

444
00:19:57,194 --> 00:20:00,064
Except the most epic party in history.

445
00:20:00,064 --> 00:20:02,267
Bam! Go ahead.
Take a look.

446
00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:04,969
Wait. Is that...

447
00:20:04,969 --> 00:20:06,471
Is that...
Mm-hmm.

448
00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:07,938
Mellony motherfucking Adams.

449
00:20:07,938 --> 00:20:10,841
Maybe you've seen her before
in every movie ever made.

450
00:20:10,841 --> 00:20:12,977
I hope you enjoyed your masturbatory evening

451
00:20:12,977 --> 00:20:14,745
In solitude, Douglas.

452
00:20:14,745 --> 00:20:15,546
Okay, fuck you guys.

453
00:20:15,546 --> 00:20:17,081
Why didn't you invite me?

454
00:20:17,081 --> 00:20:18,249
Next time don't ruin our raid.

455
00:20:18,249 --> 00:20:19,550
Maybe you'll get an invite.

456
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:23,488
Oh, I've gotta go to sleep.

457
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:24,622
I think I have a concussion,

458
00:20:24,622 --> 00:20:26,824
And I'm extremely inebriated.

459
00:20:26,824 --> 00:20:28,092
Me, too.

460
00:20:28,092 --> 00:20:30,828
Good night, dick.

461
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:37,968
All right, you guys got me.

462
00:20:37,968 --> 00:20:39,837
I'm a douchebag.

463
00:20:39,837 --> 00:20:40,771
I'm sorry...

464
00:20:40,771 --> 00:20:44,542
That you forgot your fucking phone.

465
00:20:44,542 --> 00:20:46,210
Oh!

466
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:49,647
You know, it'd be a goddamn shame

467
00:20:49,647 --> 00:20:52,450
If this video were to somehow make its way

468
00:20:52,450 --> 00:20:55,453
To the worldwide web.

469
00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:02,460
Holy fucking shit. Did
last night really happen?

470
00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:05,262
Yes, it really happened.

471
00:21:05,262 --> 00:21:06,997
I boned Mellony Adams?

472
00:21:06,997 --> 00:21:08,165
Yep.

473
00:21:08,165 --> 00:21:10,267
And Kwan was there, too?

474
00:21:16,206 --> 00:21:18,409
I'm trying to eat.

475
00:21:26,417 --> 00:21:28,353
Yep. I got it all on my phone.

476
00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:31,489
Look, you guys can watch it back
a million times if you want,

477
00:21:31,489 --> 00:21:33,223
But it has to stay between us, okay?

478
00:21:33,223 --> 00:21:34,825
We can get into a shitstorm of trouble

479
00:21:34,825 --> 00:21:36,126
If anybody sees it.

480
00:21:36,126 --> 00:21:38,195
Fuck that. I want the world to
know what a stud I am.

481
00:21:38,195 --> 00:21:39,497
I boned Mellony Adams.

482
00:21:39,497 --> 00:21:41,499
It doesn't get any non-gayer than that.

483
00:21:41,499 --> 00:21:43,233
I'd rather bang Halle Berry.

484
00:21:43,233 --> 00:21:45,102
Britney! Britney!

485
00:21:45,102 --> 00:21:46,504
Or Eva Mendez.

486
00:21:46,504 --> 00:21:48,138
Emily Addison.

487
00:21:48,138 --> 00:21:50,207
You guys are just jealous
that I dabbled the dipstick

488
00:21:50,207 --> 00:21:52,209
In some Hollywood cream-sashine.

489
00:21:52,209 --> 00:21:53,444
Okay, Ed, come on.
Seriously.

490
00:21:53,444 --> 00:21:54,445
Think about it, okay?

491
00:21:54,445 --> 00:21:55,446
We only got into that party

492
00:21:55,446 --> 00:21:56,447
Because of Delaney's buddy.

493
00:21:56,447 --> 00:21:57,882
We weren't really invited,

494
00:21:57,882 --> 00:22:00,117
So technically we can get arrested
for trespassing.

495
00:22:00,117 --> 00:22:05,022
Not to mention, we kind of filmed
a sex tape without consent,

496
00:22:05,022 --> 00:22:06,591
So there's always that.

497
00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:08,192
What good is bonking a babe

498
00:22:08,192 --> 00:22:09,794
If I can't tell anybody?

499
00:22:09,794 --> 00:22:12,763
It's enough that we know, right?

500
00:22:16,734 --> 00:22:19,704
Oh, my God.
It is you. Sex-ed.

501
00:22:19,704 --> 00:22:22,339
Oh, my God.
And you're Kwan-zai.

502
00:22:22,339 --> 00:22:24,074
Oh, and you poor baby.

503
00:22:24,074 --> 00:22:25,209
Got your jaw broken

504
00:22:25,209 --> 00:22:26,744
Without having any of the fun.

505
00:22:26,744 --> 00:22:29,146
Actually, it's just a contusion
of the zygomatic bone

506
00:22:29,146 --> 00:22:32,082
With some secondary bruising
on the left mandible.

507
00:22:32,082 --> 00:22:34,485
Whatever. [Laughs]

508
00:22:34,485 --> 00:22:35,753
Well, we look forward

509
00:22:35,753 --> 00:22:38,022
To seeing more of you in action, stud.

510
00:22:40,057 --> 00:22:41,526
Come on.

511
00:22:43,494 --> 00:22:45,763
All: Fucking Doug!

512
00:22:47,632 --> 00:22:50,468
Hey! Hey! Hey, dude.

513
00:22:50,468 --> 00:22:52,837
Hey. Hey. Hey.

514
00:22:54,505 --> 00:22:55,506
Hey, you!

515
00:22:55,506 --> 00:22:56,507
Hey, sweetie.

516
00:22:56,507 --> 00:22:57,642
What the heck, Ross?

517
00:22:57,642 --> 00:22:58,909
You don't answer my texts now?

518
00:22:58,909 --> 00:23:00,778
When? Oh, Nona's.

519
00:23:00,778 --> 00:23:03,347
Yeah, Nona's I waited there for two hours

520
00:23:03,347 --> 00:23:04,348
Looking like a jerk.

521
00:23:04,348 --> 00:23:05,950
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

522
00:23:05,950 --> 00:23:07,084
Let's do it tonight.

523
00:23:07,084 --> 00:23:08,285
I have study group.

524
00:23:08,285 --> 00:23:10,888
I promise I'll make it up to
you sometime, okay?

525
00:23:10,888 --> 00:23:12,156
Num-num!

526
00:23:14,224 --> 00:23:16,427
Bye.
Num-num.

527
00:23:16,427 --> 00:23:19,296
Dude, no one turns me away like that.

528
00:23:19,296 --> 00:23:20,297
Dude.

529
00:23:20,297 --> 00:23:22,299
You wanna try it again?

530
00:23:22,299 --> 00:23:23,501
Yeah, let's get back.

531
00:23:23,501 --> 00:23:24,969
Oh, man, did you moisturize this morning?

532
00:23:24,969 --> 00:23:27,071
Yeah, every morning.
Of course I did.

533
00:23:27,071 --> 00:23:31,742
[Moaning]

534
00:23:31,742 --> 00:23:34,679
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Tickle, tickle, tickle.

535
00:23:34,679 --> 00:23:36,781
Hold up. Hold up.

536
00:23:36,781 --> 00:23:41,552
Doug, bend over so I can
burn your fucking balls.

537
00:23:41,552 --> 00:23:42,987
Oh, hey! Hey, man!

538
00:23:42,987 --> 00:23:44,421
She was about to stick her
whole foot in her mouth.

539
00:23:44,421 --> 00:23:46,190
You get on that pornderosa site right now

540
00:23:46,190 --> 00:23:47,424
And take down that video.

541
00:23:47,424 --> 00:23:49,594
I don't know what you're talking about.

542
00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:51,328
You post last night's sexcapade

543
00:23:51,328 --> 00:23:53,564
On a fucking porn site you work for.

544
00:23:53,564 --> 00:23:56,066
[Clapping]

545
00:23:56,066 --> 00:23:58,068
You figure that all out by yourself, Sherlock?

546
00:23:58,068 --> 00:24:01,405
But once again, you're only half right.

547
00:24:01,405 --> 00:24:03,474
You see, a video of that great quality

548
00:24:03,474 --> 00:24:04,742
Deserves its own website

549
00:24:04,742 --> 00:24:06,844
So that everyone can see it in all its glory,

550
00:24:06,844 --> 00:24:08,479
And I would hate to deprive people

551
00:24:08,479 --> 00:24:10,180
Of that now. [Laughs]

552
00:24:10,180 --> 00:24:13,050
I'm gonna shove that mouse
right down your fucking piehole

553
00:24:13,050 --> 00:24:14,719
If you don't take it down right now.

554
00:24:14,719 --> 00:24:17,187
I'm afraid you douchebags
are a little too late.

555
00:24:17,187 --> 00:24:18,723
Check it out.

556
00:24:18,723 --> 00:24:20,858
You're an overnight celebrity, my friend.

557
00:24:20,858 --> 00:24:24,294
Over three and a half million
hits and counting.

558
00:24:24,294 --> 00:24:26,463
Holy shit. Awesome!

559
00:24:26,463 --> 00:24:28,966
No, not awesome.
Take it down!

560
00:24:28,966 --> 00:24:29,767
Okay.

561
00:24:29,767 --> 00:24:31,335
That's it.
Get rid of this.

562
00:24:31,335 --> 00:24:34,171
No, no, no. I'm never gonna
get that kind of pussy again.

563
00:24:34,171 --> 00:24:36,574
Guys. Guys. Guys!

564
00:24:37,708 --> 00:24:39,243
The God damn cat's out of the bag.

565
00:24:39,243 --> 00:24:41,478
This thing is viral.

566
00:24:42,580 --> 00:24:43,814
[Knock on door]

567
00:24:43,814 --> 00:24:46,416
Hey, must be some of my fan club.

568
00:24:46,416 --> 00:24:47,585
Answer it, Marcus.

569
00:24:47,585 --> 00:24:49,554
Got to let them come to me.

570
00:24:55,459 --> 00:24:57,528
Like that, Satchmo?

571
00:24:57,528 --> 00:24:59,930
'Cause Vinny here,

572
00:24:59,930 --> 00:25:03,601
He can serve up sex real quick.

573
00:25:03,601 --> 00:25:05,202
All right, everybody over here now.

574
00:25:05,202 --> 00:25:07,404
Sit down. Come on.

575
00:25:07,404 --> 00:25:09,039
Sit down!

576
00:25:21,318 --> 00:25:23,588
Hmm.

577
00:25:23,588 --> 00:25:25,623
I don't know, Danny.

578
00:25:25,623 --> 00:25:28,593
Which one do you think is the mastermind?

579
00:25:30,995 --> 00:25:34,999
It sure as hell ain't Jackie
Robinson over here.

580
00:25:36,333 --> 00:25:38,268
Or jabba the Hut.

581
00:25:39,469 --> 00:25:41,038
Or Wang Chung.

582
00:25:44,541 --> 00:25:47,211
Maybe...

583
00:25:47,211 --> 00:25:50,114
Just maybe...

584
00:25:50,114 --> 00:25:53,117
It's the little prick who fucked my client

585
00:25:53,117 --> 00:25:55,119
On the Internet.

586
00:25:56,486 --> 00:25:58,288
Maybe...

587
00:26:00,057 --> 00:26:02,827
Just maybe...

588
00:26:02,827 --> 00:26:07,331
The prick didn't know that fucking my client

589
00:26:07,331 --> 00:26:10,234
Was like you're fucking me!

590
00:26:13,137 --> 00:26:14,739
You all right?

591
00:26:16,373 --> 00:26:17,742
You sure?

592
00:26:22,446 --> 00:26:24,448
Where are my manners?

593
00:26:24,448 --> 00:26:27,451
Huh?

594
00:26:27,451 --> 00:26:30,387
Was I raised in the woods?

595
00:26:30,387 --> 00:26:31,521
Mm-mmm.

596
00:26:31,521 --> 00:26:34,191
No.

597
00:26:34,191 --> 00:26:35,926
Well...

598
00:26:36,861 --> 00:26:40,130
Let me introduce myself.

599
00:26:41,298 --> 00:26:42,733
I'm Benny Silva.

600
00:26:42,733 --> 00:26:44,735
I'm a talent manager,

601
00:26:44,735 --> 00:26:48,038
And my client is Mellony Adams.

602
00:26:48,038 --> 00:26:51,709
You had sex with her against her will,

603
00:26:51,709 --> 00:26:53,778
Recorded it and put it on the Internet.

604
00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:54,912
It wasn't against her will.

605
00:26:54,912 --> 00:26:56,413
She totally wanted my rod.

606
00:26:56,413 --> 00:26:58,282
No speaking out of turn.

607
00:26:58,282 --> 00:27:00,818
Shut the fuck up!

608
00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:08,025
I could have all of you
arrested for trespassing,

609
00:27:08,025 --> 00:27:11,161
Making pornography against
the will of my client,

610
00:27:11,161 --> 00:27:12,429
Defamation.

611
00:27:12,429 --> 00:27:17,267
The list goes on and on.

612
00:27:17,267 --> 00:27:18,769
Hey, man, it was them.

613
00:27:18,769 --> 00:27:19,937
I had nothing to do with it.

614
00:27:19,937 --> 00:27:20,971
I wasn't even there.
Come on, brother.

615
00:27:20,971 --> 00:27:22,239
I had nothing to do with it...

616
00:27:22,239 --> 00:27:23,808
Shut up!

617
00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:26,043
Then why was it uploaded

618
00:27:26,043 --> 00:27:28,445
From your fucking computer?

619
00:27:28,445 --> 00:27:30,881
[Squeals]

620
00:27:30,881 --> 00:27:35,085
Nobody likes a snitch.

621
00:27:36,553 --> 00:27:41,658
And I sure as hell don't want to see

622
00:27:41,658 --> 00:27:45,295
A group of fine young men like yourselves...

623
00:27:48,465 --> 00:27:51,468
Going to jail.

624
00:27:51,468 --> 00:27:55,840
So that's why I'm offering you

625
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,374
Another option.

626
00:27:57,374 --> 00:27:59,343
Whatever it is, we'll take it. Anything.

627
00:28:01,879 --> 00:28:05,615
You are going to pay me
a half a million dollars

628
00:28:05,615 --> 00:28:07,051
In the next 30 days.

629
00:28:07,051 --> 00:28:10,220
Or you're going to end up

630
00:28:10,220 --> 00:28:14,391
A bunch of pretty little
jailhouse bitches,

631
00:28:14,391 --> 00:28:17,862
Dead in a ditch,

632
00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:20,064
Or both.

633
00:28:23,333 --> 00:28:25,035
[Urinating]

634
00:28:28,806 --> 00:28:32,442
Accidents happen.

635
00:28:53,764 --> 00:28:56,500
Oh, God, we're so fucked.

636
00:28:56,500 --> 00:28:58,135
It's not so bad.

637
00:28:58,135 --> 00:29:00,337
I mean, half a million sounds like a lot,

638
00:29:00,337 --> 00:29:01,738
But there's five of us.

639
00:29:01,738 --> 00:29:03,673
We could donate blood.

640
00:29:03,673 --> 00:29:05,910
Or a kidney.
Black market kidneys

641
00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:09,446
Sell for an average of $20,000.

642
00:29:09,446 --> 00:29:11,648
Unless you got 20 extra kidneys stashed away,

643
00:29:11,648 --> 00:29:12,749
That ain't gonna work.

644
00:29:12,749 --> 00:29:14,919
We could rob a bank.

645
00:29:14,919 --> 00:29:16,653
Rob a bank to not go to jail.

646
00:29:16,653 --> 00:29:18,055
Yeah, that's brilliant.

647
00:29:18,055 --> 00:29:21,258
Yeah, hey, at least I'm coming
up with ideas here.

648
00:29:21,258 --> 00:29:23,527
It's your great ideas that got
us into this in the first place.

649
00:29:23,527 --> 00:29:25,863
You could have stayed at home
with your girlfriend

650
00:29:25,863 --> 00:29:27,431
And not had sex again.

651
00:29:27,431 --> 00:29:29,433
No, fuck you.
Fuck you.

652
00:29:29,433 --> 00:29:30,968
No, fuck Kwan.

653
00:30:07,004 --> 00:30:08,873
Actually, I'm the one getting
screwed here.

654
00:30:08,873 --> 00:30:10,307
I'm just saying.

655
00:30:10,307 --> 00:30:14,144
Technically, I've sustained
the most serious injuries.

656
00:30:14,144 --> 00:30:16,881
Shut up. Everyone shut up please.

657
00:30:18,682 --> 00:30:20,150
Damn, if we were chicks,

658
00:30:20,150 --> 00:30:22,319
We could strip our way to a
half million no problem.

659
00:30:22,319 --> 00:30:25,155
I'd make extra 'cause I
wouldn't shave my bush.

660
00:30:26,823 --> 00:30:31,495
What? It's a great way to half a mil.

661
00:30:31,495 --> 00:30:33,864
Why not just go all the way and make a porn?

662
00:30:33,864 --> 00:30:37,101
You could star in hot and hairy volume 69.

663
00:30:37,101 --> 00:30:38,835
That's it!
[Chuckles] 69.

664
00:30:38,835 --> 00:30:40,437
You gonna grow a vagina?

665
00:30:40,437 --> 00:30:42,239
No, dude,

666
00:30:42,239 --> 00:30:44,374
We can't strip our way to a half million,

667
00:30:44,374 --> 00:30:46,310
But we can screw our way to it.

668
00:30:46,310 --> 00:30:47,978
We've just got to make more sex tapes.

669
00:30:47,978 --> 00:30:49,846
That's the complete opposite

670
00:30:49,846 --> 00:30:51,148
Of what we should do.

671
00:30:51,148 --> 00:30:52,849
Dude, dude, all we have to do

672
00:30:52,849 --> 00:30:54,985
Is find some willing has-been celebrities

673
00:30:54,985 --> 00:30:57,454
And convince them to have sex on camera.

674
00:30:57,454 --> 00:30:59,423
It's insane exposure.

675
00:30:59,423 --> 00:31:01,691
All anyone's been talking about all day

676
00:31:01,691 --> 00:31:02,960
Is Mellony Adams.

677
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,695
Just the pervs on campus, man.

678
00:31:05,695 --> 00:31:07,264
Not actually.

679
00:31:07,264 --> 00:31:09,233
I mean, she's trending pretty hard.

680
00:31:09,233 --> 00:31:11,501
Top five searches on the Internet.

681
00:31:12,970 --> 00:31:16,840
Okay. Why can't they just make
their own tapes?

682
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,342
I mean, why would they need us?

683
00:31:18,342 --> 00:31:19,876
'Cause we've got a proven track record.

684
00:31:19,876 --> 00:31:21,011
Our video has...

685
00:31:21,011 --> 00:31:22,046
17 million.

686
00:31:22,046 --> 00:31:23,914
17 million hits.

687
00:31:23,914 --> 00:31:26,650
Think about it.
Exposure.

688
00:31:26,650 --> 00:31:29,253
I don't know.

689
00:31:29,253 --> 00:31:31,755
Doug can set up the websites.

690
00:31:31,755 --> 00:31:33,823
We'll watch the cash roll in.

691
00:31:33,823 --> 00:31:35,225
I just...

692
00:31:35,225 --> 00:31:36,893
You got any better ideas?

693
00:31:37,761 --> 00:31:38,895
I didn't think so.

694
00:31:38,895 --> 00:31:41,698
Where can we find a chick

695
00:31:41,698 --> 00:31:42,832
That's desperate enough

696
00:31:42,832 --> 00:31:45,135
To bang her way back to fame?

697
00:31:47,871 --> 00:31:50,274
I know of a venue that will have

698
00:31:50,274 --> 00:31:53,243
Several of those female individuals
in attendance currently.

699
00:32:00,117 --> 00:32:01,918
There's Shelby Jones.

700
00:32:03,988 --> 00:32:05,255
She played a Valkyrie Berserker

701
00:32:05,255 --> 00:32:06,923
On blood and breath swords,

702
00:32:06,923 --> 00:32:09,059
Seasons two through five.

703
00:32:11,595 --> 00:32:14,999
Dude, I'll totally Rragnarok her world.

704
00:32:17,667 --> 00:32:19,369
Hi, Mrs. Jones.

705
00:32:19,369 --> 00:32:21,471
I really like it in episode 312

706
00:32:21,471 --> 00:32:23,073
When you beheaded the evil hydro

707
00:32:23,073 --> 00:32:25,409
After drinking the invincibility potion.

708
00:32:25,409 --> 00:32:27,344
Thanks, kid.

709
00:32:27,344 --> 00:32:29,879
So you want an autograph or...

710
00:32:29,879 --> 00:32:31,381
Oh, will you have sexual intercourse

711
00:32:31,381 --> 00:32:33,117
With my friend Ed and allow us to videotape it

712
00:32:33,117 --> 00:32:36,020
So that we can make money and
pay off someone who's blackmailing us?

713
00:32:36,020 --> 00:32:39,056
Christ. You little shits get
weirder every year.

714
00:32:39,056 --> 00:32:41,325
Sorry, sorry.
He's just joking.

715
00:32:41,325 --> 00:32:44,628
He's just acting out a scene
in episode 478.

716
00:32:44,628 --> 00:32:47,431
You know, when the evil prince comes...

717
00:32:47,431 --> 00:32:49,866
That's crazy.
There's no episode...

718
00:32:49,866 --> 00:32:51,035
[Coughs] Shut up.

719
00:32:51,035 --> 00:32:52,969
It'll be a tremendous for your career.

720
00:32:52,969 --> 00:32:55,972
Just let Ed and I do it, okay?

721
00:32:55,972 --> 00:32:57,241
You got to find the right chick,

722
00:32:57,241 --> 00:32:59,743
One who's washed up.

723
00:33:02,212 --> 00:33:04,348
Desperate, but still kind of hot.

724
00:33:05,415 --> 00:33:09,053
Someone with a bit of a sexy background.

725
00:33:11,655 --> 00:33:14,124
Forget it, man.
This isn't going to work.

726
00:33:14,124 --> 00:33:16,193
Let's just go pack for jail.

727
00:33:17,327 --> 00:33:18,462
Bingo!

728
00:33:18,462 --> 00:33:21,098
[Chuckles]

729
00:33:21,098 --> 00:33:22,366
Jillian Baines.

730
00:33:22,366 --> 00:33:23,767
Lieutenant Commander Zolara

731
00:33:23,767 --> 00:33:25,635
On orient five seasons one through four.

732
00:33:25,635 --> 00:33:27,771
Zolara was a completely realistic android

733
00:33:27,771 --> 00:33:30,107
With six times the intensity
of normal human strength

734
00:33:30,107 --> 00:33:31,341
And telescopic vision.

735
00:33:31,341 --> 00:33:33,743
She died saving the starship hyperion

736
00:33:33,743 --> 00:33:36,146
From a quantum singularity.

737
00:33:36,146 --> 00:33:38,282
Fascinating.
I've heard about her.

738
00:33:38,282 --> 00:33:40,550
The show's creators killed her character off

739
00:33:40,550 --> 00:33:43,019
After some nude photos of her surfaced...

740
00:33:43,019 --> 00:33:44,154
Which I still own, by the way...

741
00:33:44,154 --> 00:33:46,423
Plus she is a total drunk.

742
00:33:46,423 --> 00:33:48,192
Never showed up to the set on time.

743
00:33:51,027 --> 00:33:54,164
Ahh... Yeah.

744
00:33:54,164 --> 00:33:55,699
What are you doing?

745
00:33:55,699 --> 00:33:58,435
Excuse me?

746
00:33:58,435 --> 00:34:01,171
Look at all these dried up old hags

747
00:34:01,171 --> 00:34:02,539
Trying to cling to the last bit of money

748
00:34:02,539 --> 00:34:05,475
They can make for a job they
did 10 years ago.

749
00:34:05,475 --> 00:34:08,478
But you...
You're in your prime.

750
00:34:08,478 --> 00:34:10,347
You just need the right opportunity.

751
00:34:10,347 --> 00:34:12,282
Are you trying to sell something?

752
00:34:12,282 --> 00:34:14,684
Because I can call security, all right?

753
00:34:14,684 --> 00:34:17,154
You got to register three weeks in advance

754
00:34:17,154 --> 00:34:19,223
If you wanna be a vendor here.

755
00:34:19,223 --> 00:34:20,424
The only thing I'm trying to sell you

756
00:34:20,424 --> 00:34:22,626
Is a chance to reinvigorate your career.

757
00:34:26,730 --> 00:34:28,132
Do you have an Uncle

758
00:34:28,132 --> 00:34:30,066
That's the head of a studio or something?

759
00:34:30,066 --> 00:34:32,669
Better. I'm the studio, the agent,

760
00:34:32,669 --> 00:34:34,504
And the costar.

761
00:34:34,504 --> 00:34:37,006
You ever heard of a little thing
called the Internet?

762
00:34:37,006 --> 00:34:38,842
Are you retarded?

763
00:34:38,842 --> 00:34:40,477
Like a fox.

764
00:34:40,477 --> 00:34:41,945
Did you see that little video

765
00:34:41,945 --> 00:34:43,213
With Mellony Adams?

766
00:34:43,213 --> 00:34:45,482
Yeah. It's blowing up everywhere.

767
00:34:45,482 --> 00:34:48,084
It's on TMZ, Entertainment Tonight, Extra.

768
00:34:48,084 --> 00:34:50,420
Everybody's talking about it.

769
00:34:50,420 --> 00:34:53,823
I would kill for that kind of coverage.

770
00:34:53,823 --> 00:34:55,024
You don't have to kill.

771
00:34:55,024 --> 00:34:56,826
I'm the guy in that video.

772
00:34:56,826 --> 00:34:58,962
You?

773
00:34:58,962 --> 00:35:00,297
Me.

774
00:35:00,297 --> 00:35:04,534
You know they're calling you
Sex-Ed on the blogs.

775
00:35:04,534 --> 00:35:06,203
Oh, yeah.

776
00:35:06,203 --> 00:35:09,339
So you're offering...

777
00:35:09,339 --> 00:35:11,575
A refresher course.

778
00:35:11,575 --> 00:35:13,410
Hmm.

779
00:35:18,782 --> 00:35:21,651
All right, I'll fuck you.

780
00:35:21,651 --> 00:35:22,819
[Chuckles]

781
00:35:22,819 --> 00:35:27,491
But it's gonna take a lot of liquid courage.

782
00:35:30,860 --> 00:35:32,496
Show's over.

783
00:35:40,737 --> 00:35:43,139
Aw, damn it. It's not the right mount.

784
00:35:43,139 --> 00:35:45,642
Tripod shots are 75% steadier than handheld,

785
00:35:45,642 --> 00:35:47,477
And that number goes up to 350%

786
00:35:47,477 --> 00:35:50,414
For shots zoomed in more than four times.

787
00:35:50,414 --> 00:35:52,616
Shut up.
Get the lube.

788
00:35:59,823 --> 00:36:01,024
Ooh.

789
00:36:01,024 --> 00:36:03,727
You know, if Ed can't do
this whole thing by himself.

790
00:36:03,727 --> 00:36:07,197
I can always jump in and take over, you know.

791
00:36:07,197 --> 00:36:09,299
Sorry, fat-ass.
This is a one-man show.

792
00:36:09,299 --> 00:36:11,067
Just get the website together, okay?

793
00:36:11,067 --> 00:36:12,302
All right, come on, guys.

794
00:36:12,302 --> 00:36:14,638
She's gonna be here any second.
Let's go.

795
00:36:20,977 --> 00:36:22,746
Hello.

796
00:36:22,746 --> 00:36:24,548
So...

797
00:36:24,548 --> 00:36:28,852
Who wants to fuck the hottest
robot in this quadrant? Huh?

798
00:36:28,852 --> 00:36:30,854
Huh? You?

799
00:36:30,854 --> 00:36:32,088
Ooh.

800
00:36:32,088 --> 00:36:34,023
Somebody's ready to launch.

801
00:36:34,023 --> 00:36:36,159
Over here.
Over here!

802
00:36:36,159 --> 00:36:39,496
Oh, yes.
There's my stud.

803
00:36:39,496 --> 00:36:43,199
So you gonna fuck me like Mellony?

804
00:36:43,199 --> 00:36:44,734
Are you?

805
00:36:44,734 --> 00:36:46,670
Hell, yeah.

806
00:36:50,139 --> 00:36:51,140
Action!

807
00:36:51,140 --> 00:36:53,042
I don't wanna film this.

808
00:36:53,042 --> 00:36:54,478
Shoot, shoot, shoot.

809
00:36:56,613 --> 00:37:01,084
My mission is to find out what happens

810
00:37:01,084 --> 00:37:04,754
When you stick your probe balls deep.

811
00:37:04,754 --> 00:37:06,256
[Laughs]

812
00:37:06,256 --> 00:37:08,157
Party time, space girl.

813
00:37:08,157 --> 00:37:10,694
Yeah. Huh?

814
00:37:16,666 --> 00:37:17,534
Okay.

815
00:37:17,534 --> 00:37:20,236
[Laughs] Ooh, robot on robot sex

816
00:37:20,236 --> 00:37:22,839
Is hot and heavy.

817
00:37:22,839 --> 00:37:24,908
Oh, yeah, baby. Ooh.

818
00:37:24,908 --> 00:37:26,042
I was sent to study

819
00:37:26,042 --> 00:37:27,911
The sexual reproduction rituals

820
00:37:27,911 --> 00:37:29,613
Of your species.

821
00:37:29,613 --> 00:37:31,915
Huh? I'm a fucking android.

822
00:37:31,915 --> 00:37:33,350
I don't have a species.

823
00:37:33,350 --> 00:37:35,184
Excuse me, but technically speaking,

824
00:37:35,184 --> 00:37:36,453
Androids can build other androids

825
00:37:36,453 --> 00:37:38,187
And therefore be classified as a species.

826
00:37:38,187 --> 00:37:39,956
Get out of the shot.

827
00:37:39,956 --> 00:37:40,957
All right. All right.

828
00:37:40,957 --> 00:37:42,091
Where was I?

829
00:37:42,091 --> 00:37:44,193
Oh, yeah.
I was about to insert

830
00:37:44,193 --> 00:37:46,896
My hard disk into your v-drive unit.

831
00:37:46,896 --> 00:37:48,465
[Moaning]

832
00:37:48,465 --> 00:37:50,467
Oh, God. [Chuckles]

833
00:37:50,467 --> 00:37:53,470
Next mission, you're gonna drill for oil

834
00:37:53,470 --> 00:37:55,472
On the moon. [Laughs]

835
00:37:55,472 --> 00:37:56,806
Negative. Negative.
Negative.

836
00:37:56,806 --> 00:37:59,809
No, no. We are going to stick
to cave exploration

837
00:37:59,809 --> 00:38:01,077
On this expedition.

838
00:38:01,077 --> 00:38:03,413
Fine. Yeah, give it to me.

839
00:38:03,413 --> 00:38:06,416
[Moaning]

840
00:38:06,416 --> 00:38:07,784
You've penetrated.

841
00:38:07,784 --> 00:38:10,554
You've penetrated my force field.

842
00:38:10,554 --> 00:38:12,422
You're gonna have to make a direct hit

843
00:38:12,422 --> 00:38:14,157
To make me cum. Yeah.

844
00:38:14,157 --> 00:38:16,025
Stay on target.
Stay on target.

845
00:38:16,025 --> 00:38:17,761
Aah! Aah! Aah!

846
00:38:17,761 --> 00:38:20,564
Ohh...

847
00:38:20,564 --> 00:38:22,766
Oh, God. Look at the size of that thing.

848
00:38:24,901 --> 00:38:28,338
Kwan-zai!

849
00:38:28,338 --> 00:38:30,073
[Splat]

850
00:38:48,592 --> 00:38:50,594
Hey, Ross, it's Kim.

851
00:38:50,594 --> 00:38:53,797
Uh, just calling to say hello.

852
00:38:55,799 --> 00:38:58,702
So where have you been, silly goose?

853
00:38:58,702 --> 00:39:02,439
I've just, you know, been
worried sick about you,

854
00:39:02,439 --> 00:39:06,376
And, um... All right, well,
just call me

855
00:39:06,376 --> 00:39:09,713
When you're not too busy, I guess.

856
00:39:09,713 --> 00:39:11,581
Bye.

857
00:39:15,819 --> 00:39:17,821
Arghhhh!

858
00:39:20,990 --> 00:39:23,893
Holy fucking shit.

859
00:39:23,893 --> 00:39:27,163
Up to 17 million hits in only three days.

860
00:39:27,163 --> 00:39:28,732
Unbelievable.

861
00:39:28,732 --> 00:39:31,267
Taking into account the exponential
nature of these videos

862
00:39:31,267 --> 00:39:33,637
With a minimal coefficient of 16.3,

863
00:39:33,637 --> 00:39:36,406
And now with two videos,

864
00:39:36,406 --> 00:39:37,507
If you refresh the screen,

865
00:39:37,507 --> 00:39:41,611
We should have 17,274,000 hits now.

866
00:39:47,684 --> 00:39:49,953
That mans with the advertising revenue

867
00:39:49,953 --> 00:39:53,590
Growing at a rate of 14.43 per 300k,

868
00:39:53,590 --> 00:39:56,793
That we will be able to
come up with the money.

869
00:39:56,793 --> 00:39:59,195
We just need to keep producing videos.

870
00:39:59,195 --> 00:40:00,329
We need to find some new girls.

871
00:40:00,329 --> 00:40:01,865
Where do we go to find them?

872
00:40:01,865 --> 00:40:04,067
Uh, guys.

873
00:40:04,067 --> 00:40:06,402
I don't think that's gonna be a problem.

874
00:40:11,374 --> 00:40:13,610
[Laughs]

875
00:41:02,726 --> 00:41:04,127
We need to hang out more, Ross.

876
00:41:04,127 --> 00:41:06,596
I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.

877
00:41:06,596 --> 00:41:09,065
Yeah, I know.
I've just been really busy

878
00:41:09,065 --> 00:41:11,635
With studying, school, and stuff,
you know.

879
00:41:11,635 --> 00:41:13,737
Yeah, well, you should come to
my study group.

880
00:41:13,737 --> 00:41:16,072
I think it would really
help you concentrate.

881
00:41:16,072 --> 00:41:18,908
Like, I really don't see
how you get anything done

882
00:41:18,908 --> 00:41:22,111
Living in that house with a bunch of losers.

883
00:41:24,514 --> 00:41:27,050
Ross?

884
00:41:27,050 --> 00:41:28,652
Ross?

885
00:41:28,652 --> 00:41:30,887
Have you heard anything I just said?

886
00:41:30,887 --> 00:41:32,522
Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Studying.

887
00:41:32,522 --> 00:41:33,690
We can do that sometime.

888
00:41:33,690 --> 00:41:35,358
Yeah, look, I gotta get back to work...

889
00:41:35,358 --> 00:41:37,994
Uh, studying for work.

890
00:41:37,994 --> 00:41:38,995
Okay.

891
00:41:38,995 --> 00:41:40,396
I gotta go, okay?

892
00:41:40,396 --> 00:41:42,532
Bye.
Yeah.

893
00:41:42,532 --> 00:41:44,534
Uh, Ross?

894
00:41:44,534 --> 00:41:46,903
Isn't it that way?

895
00:41:46,903 --> 00:41:49,238
Yeah. [Laughs]
Guess so.

896
00:41:49,238 --> 00:41:50,707
Thank you.

897
00:41:52,909 --> 00:41:56,045
Okay, so who's up to bat?

898
00:41:56,045 --> 00:41:59,949
Former reality TV personality Debbie Ballard.

899
00:41:59,949 --> 00:42:01,851
She's the one that ate that bull cock

900
00:42:01,851 --> 00:42:03,953
To win a challenge.

901
00:42:07,724 --> 00:42:10,627
Sorry, kwan. She's actually
got a special request.

902
00:42:12,596 --> 00:42:15,398
Nope. Black.

903
00:42:15,398 --> 00:42:17,266
Classic mud shark.

904
00:42:19,435 --> 00:42:20,469
Marcus.

905
00:42:20,469 --> 00:42:21,738
I can't.

906
00:42:21,738 --> 00:42:23,272
Sure, you can.
It's easy.

907
00:42:23,272 --> 00:42:27,577
In, out, in, out, in, out.

908
00:42:27,577 --> 00:42:28,578
I can't do it.

909
00:42:28,578 --> 00:42:29,846
It's gonna be outside,

910
00:42:29,846 --> 00:42:31,347
So it'll help you with your
claustrophobia.

911
00:42:31,347 --> 00:42:33,382
We're actually going for some
better production value.

912
00:42:33,382 --> 00:42:35,284
Seriously, I don't think I can.

913
00:42:35,284 --> 00:42:36,886
You can and you will.

914
00:42:38,554 --> 00:42:41,057
Okay.

915
00:42:42,091 --> 00:42:44,093
Okay.

916
00:42:44,093 --> 00:42:45,895
Good.

917
00:42:45,895 --> 00:42:48,297
Better dust off your cock, Knave.

918
00:42:48,297 --> 00:42:49,298
You're on deck.

919
00:42:49,298 --> 00:42:51,567
No, not happening.
No way.

920
00:42:51,567 --> 00:42:53,803
Yes way.

921
00:42:53,803 --> 00:42:55,071
You know how much money we'd make

922
00:42:55,071 --> 00:42:57,506
If you lost your cherry on camera?

923
00:42:57,506 --> 00:43:00,176
Virgins are big business, dude.

924
00:43:00,176 --> 00:43:01,510
Like, I don't care.

925
00:43:01,510 --> 00:43:02,846
Look, I don't mind helping you guys out,

926
00:43:02,846 --> 00:43:06,616
But I will never, ever
have sex on camera, okay?

927
00:43:06,616 --> 00:43:08,017
Shut the fuck up, you two.

928
00:43:08,017 --> 00:43:10,754
We're gonna be late for Marcus' scene.

929
00:43:10,754 --> 00:43:13,356
It's time to build the course.

930
00:43:14,624 --> 00:43:16,693
[Gulp]

931
00:43:16,693 --> 00:43:17,961
[Whistle]

932
00:43:17,961 --> 00:43:20,997
Challenger, in order to win this,

933
00:43:20,997 --> 00:43:23,900
You must up that bucket with water.

934
00:43:23,900 --> 00:43:26,736
That doesn't sound hard.

935
00:43:26,736 --> 00:43:28,337
You have 30 seconds

936
00:43:28,337 --> 00:43:30,874
While I shoot at you with a paintball gun.

937
00:43:32,308 --> 00:43:33,476
Go!

938
00:43:33,476 --> 00:43:34,510
Ow! Ow!

939
00:43:34,510 --> 00:43:36,680
Ow! Ow! Oh, God!

940
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:38,347
Move it, you loser.

941
00:43:41,050 --> 00:43:42,618
I'm coming.

942
00:43:45,354 --> 00:43:46,355
Move it!

943
00:43:46,355 --> 00:43:47,590
I'm coming. Oh, God.

944
00:43:47,590 --> 00:43:49,759
I'm coming.
Come on!

945
00:43:49,759 --> 00:43:51,227
Come on, you pussy!

946
00:43:55,031 --> 00:43:56,165
Hey!

947
00:43:56,165 --> 00:43:57,734
I'm coming.

948
00:43:58,768 --> 00:44:01,104
I'm coming.
Four!

949
00:44:01,104 --> 00:44:02,038
One!

950
00:44:05,809 --> 00:44:07,176
You did it!

951
00:44:07,176 --> 00:44:09,145
[Panting]

952
00:44:14,250 --> 00:44:16,019
Come claim your prize.

953
00:44:16,019 --> 00:44:17,821
Okay.

954
00:44:18,788 --> 00:44:21,490
Time to go head first.

955
00:44:21,490 --> 00:44:22,992
Yeah!

956
00:44:22,992 --> 00:44:24,193
Whoa.

957
00:44:24,193 --> 00:44:27,731
That's it.
Munch away, brother.

958
00:44:27,731 --> 00:44:29,799
Like mashed potatoes and gravy.

959
00:44:29,799 --> 00:44:32,001
Oh! Oh, yeah.

960
00:44:32,001 --> 00:44:33,937
[Gasping]
I can't breathe.

961
00:44:33,937 --> 00:44:36,339
My pussy's got all the oxygen you need.

962
00:44:36,339 --> 00:44:38,374
Actually, there's only 6.8 ounces of oxygen

963
00:44:38,374 --> 00:44:39,809
In the average vagina.

964
00:44:39,809 --> 00:44:41,210
That would last a man my size

965
00:44:41,210 --> 00:44:44,147
About 12 uninterrupted
minutes theoretically.

966
00:44:44,147 --> 00:44:45,248
Shut up!

967
00:44:46,282 --> 00:44:49,052
Yeah! Yeah!

968
00:44:50,553 --> 00:44:53,122
Aah! I'm gonna blow!

969
00:44:53,122 --> 00:44:53,923
What?

970
00:44:53,923 --> 00:44:57,026
I'm a squirter. Yeah!

971
00:44:57,026 --> 00:44:57,827
[Splat]

972
00:44:57,827 --> 00:45:00,964
Aah! Aah!

973
00:45:00,964 --> 00:45:02,365
Aah!

974
00:45:07,837 --> 00:45:09,472
My inhaler.

975
00:45:09,472 --> 00:45:10,740
My inhaler.

976
00:45:10,740 --> 00:45:12,008
My inhaler.

977
00:45:13,442 --> 00:45:14,643
So is she.

978
00:45:14,643 --> 00:45:17,380
[Groaning]
My inhaler!

979
00:45:19,648 --> 00:45:21,217
Oh, my God.
That's that guy.

980
00:45:21,217 --> 00:45:22,651
That's Ed.

981
00:45:22,651 --> 00:45:24,387
I heard he boned Raven Simone.

982
00:45:24,387 --> 00:45:25,822
Yeah?
Yeah.

983
00:45:25,822 --> 00:45:27,090
And tea-bagged Meg Ryan.

984
00:45:27,090 --> 00:45:28,324
Fuck, yeah.
[Laughs]

985
00:45:28,324 --> 00:45:30,693
I mean, you got to make sure to moisturize.

986
00:45:30,693 --> 00:45:32,028
It's the most important thing.

987
00:45:32,028 --> 00:45:34,463
Dude, I only use lotion
for when I masturbate.

988
00:45:34,463 --> 00:45:36,866
Dude, you're not even capitalizing

989
00:45:36,866 --> 00:45:38,134
On what lotion can do.

990
00:45:38,134 --> 00:45:39,468
I mean, dude, check out my muscles.

991
00:45:39,468 --> 00:45:40,636
Let me get some of that.

992
00:45:40,636 --> 00:45:42,038
Get some.
Get on that.

993
00:45:42,038 --> 00:45:44,040
Why would you even be waiting on anything?

994
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:45,541
I mean, just do it.

995
00:45:45,541 --> 00:45:48,411
Right?

996
00:45:48,411 --> 00:45:49,545
So soft and...

997
00:45:49,545 --> 00:45:50,579
Ed!

998
00:45:50,579 --> 00:45:51,647
Ed, dude!

999
00:45:51,647 --> 00:45:53,416
What's up, brah?
Come here.

1000
00:45:53,416 --> 00:45:55,651
Yeah, bring it in, Ed.
Bring it in.

1001
00:45:55,651 --> 00:45:56,719
Yeah, what's...

1002
00:45:56,719 --> 00:45:58,154
Hey. Oh, dude,

1003
00:45:58,154 --> 00:45:59,789
You should come by the house tonight.

1004
00:45:59,789 --> 00:46:01,891
Oh, man, it's going to be a rager.

1005
00:46:01,891 --> 00:46:03,692
Oh, man, we're gonna have kegs,

1006
00:46:03,692 --> 00:46:05,428
Drugs. [Laughs]

1007
00:46:05,428 --> 00:46:06,529
Sluts. Sluts.

1008
00:46:06,529 --> 00:46:07,797
Definitely sluts.

1009
00:46:07,797 --> 00:46:09,198
All right,

1010
00:46:09,198 --> 00:46:12,768
Who's the next contestant on
"fuck me famous"?

1011
00:46:15,071 --> 00:46:17,173
We're still getting a shit ton
of fucking emails.

1012
00:46:17,173 --> 00:46:19,742
I just got one from a Liz Cooper.

1013
00:46:19,742 --> 00:46:21,010
Liz Cooper played Coach Shearson

1014
00:46:21,010 --> 00:46:22,912
In seasons two and three of Hoops High.

1015
00:46:22,912 --> 00:46:25,281
Okay.
Uh, Katie Mayer.

1016
00:46:25,281 --> 00:46:27,016
Katie Mayer played Janey the secretary

1017
00:46:27,016 --> 00:46:28,852
On the first season of Chicago Sons.

1018
00:46:28,852 --> 00:46:30,619
Holy shit.

1019
00:46:30,619 --> 00:46:33,823
She just sent us a nice little
photo of herself here.

1020
00:46:38,394 --> 00:46:39,595
Look at that ass.

1021
00:46:39,595 --> 00:46:40,629
Marcus!
Ross?

1022
00:46:40,629 --> 00:46:42,198
Asperger.
Uh, Marcus?

1023
00:46:42,198 --> 00:46:43,833
You're acting really weird today.

1024
00:46:43,833 --> 00:46:46,102
Did you take your medicine?

1025
00:46:46,102 --> 00:46:47,236
What, nothin'.
Oh, hi.

1026
00:46:47,236 --> 00:46:48,872
Hey, babe, what's going on?

1027
00:46:50,273 --> 00:46:51,340
Hi.

1028
00:46:51,340 --> 00:46:53,576
Uh, what's going on here, Ross?

1029
00:46:53,576 --> 00:46:56,379
Oh, just hangin' out.

1030
00:46:56,379 --> 00:46:57,780
Bein' dudes.

1031
00:46:57,780 --> 00:46:59,615
Looking at dirty porno on the Internet.

1032
00:46:59,615 --> 00:47:00,616
[Laughter]

1033
00:47:00,616 --> 00:47:02,218
Jk, no we're not.

1034
00:47:02,218 --> 00:47:05,388
We're playing card games and such.

1035
00:47:05,388 --> 00:47:08,257
[Laughs]

1036
00:47:08,257 --> 00:47:11,427
Oh, well, well.
What have we here?

1037
00:47:11,427 --> 00:47:14,030
Looks like our friend Jillian Bane

1038
00:47:14,030 --> 00:47:17,100
Just got a series regular gig
on the new CSI: Jersey.

1039
00:47:17,100 --> 00:47:18,301
She's going to be playing

1040
00:47:18,301 --> 00:47:21,604
A junkie hooker-slash-police informant.

1041
00:47:21,604 --> 00:47:22,939
Huh. Wow.

1042
00:47:22,939 --> 00:47:24,707
She went from not working
for the past six years

1043
00:47:24,707 --> 00:47:28,044
To getting a series regular
gig on a big network show.

1044
00:47:28,044 --> 00:47:31,480
Wonder what caused that, Ross.

1045
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:32,681
What?
I wouldn't know.

1046
00:47:32,681 --> 00:47:33,849
I don't know.

1047
00:47:33,849 --> 00:47:35,251
Yeah, um...

1048
00:47:35,251 --> 00:47:38,621
Ross, can I talk to you outside?

1049
00:47:38,621 --> 00:47:39,923
Of course.

1050
00:47:43,626 --> 00:47:45,294
Dick.

1051
00:47:45,294 --> 00:47:48,031
Hey, if I'm not getting laid, nobody is.

1052
00:47:52,735 --> 00:47:55,071
So, uh, what's going on?

1053
00:47:55,071 --> 00:47:56,439
You're not answering my texts,

1054
00:47:56,439 --> 00:47:57,974
Your phone goes straight to voicemail.

1055
00:47:57,974 --> 00:47:59,943
I mean, if I didn't know any better,

1056
00:47:59,943 --> 00:48:02,845
It's like you're trying to avoid me.

1057
00:48:02,845 --> 00:48:04,313
No. I'm not...

1058
00:48:04,313 --> 00:48:05,414
I don't know.

1059
00:48:05,414 --> 00:48:07,450
I've just been really busy with, you know,

1060
00:48:07,450 --> 00:48:10,819
School and studying and other stuff.

1061
00:48:10,819 --> 00:48:13,256
But, hey,

1062
00:48:13,256 --> 00:48:15,624
You know you're the most
important thing to me, right?

1063
00:48:15,624 --> 00:48:17,860
Right?

1064
00:48:17,860 --> 00:48:20,229
I'm sorry I've been a bit distant lately.

1065
00:48:22,165 --> 00:48:24,767
Um, I was on the hill just
now and I saw Ed,

1066
00:48:24,767 --> 00:48:26,202
And, you know, palling around

1067
00:48:26,202 --> 00:48:29,072
With, um, Delaney Mulroy and, um...

1068
00:48:29,072 --> 00:48:31,174
Anyways, he gave me a letter for you,

1069
00:48:31,174 --> 00:48:33,776
Told me to give it to you.

1070
00:48:33,776 --> 00:48:35,178
Really?

1071
00:48:39,348 --> 00:48:41,417
Ed: "Ross dog, sex ed here.

1072
00:48:41,417 --> 00:48:44,320
"I'm taking a little vacation
from fucking on camera.

1073
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:45,521
"Me and Delaney are going to slay

1074
00:48:45,521 --> 00:48:47,190
"Some sorority gash all weekend.

1075
00:48:47,190 --> 00:48:49,225
"But the show must go on.

1076
00:48:49,225 --> 00:48:51,327
"We've only got 200k left to make.

1077
00:48:51,327 --> 00:48:52,962
"So make sure to shoot a few videos.

1078
00:48:52,962 --> 00:48:54,430
"Man up, brah!

1079
00:48:54,430 --> 00:48:55,431
Sex Ed, out."

1080
00:48:55,431 --> 00:48:56,665
Oh, fuck.

1081
00:48:56,665 --> 00:48:58,434
Hey, watch your language.

1082
00:48:58,434 --> 00:48:59,602
Sorry.

1083
00:49:01,470 --> 00:49:04,207
Hey, I'm gonna skip my third
period psych class.

1084
00:49:04,207 --> 00:49:05,774
Do you want to go grab a bite to eat?

1085
00:49:05,774 --> 00:49:07,043
Yes.

1086
00:49:07,043 --> 00:49:08,477
Fuck, yeah.
Me, too.

1087
00:49:08,477 --> 00:49:10,013
I'm starving.

1088
00:49:10,013 --> 00:49:14,250
Get some. Get some.
Yeah.

1089
00:49:14,250 --> 00:49:16,452
Come on, dawg.
Kill it.

1090
00:49:16,452 --> 00:49:18,721
I can do this.
I'm the game master.

1091
00:49:18,721 --> 00:49:19,755
I got this.
Oh, come on.

1092
00:49:19,755 --> 00:49:21,557
[All three talking]

1093
00:49:21,557 --> 00:49:22,992
Hi, guys.

1094
00:49:22,992 --> 00:49:24,560
Is now a good time?

1095
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,329
Well, can't you see that I am bus...

1096
00:49:27,963 --> 00:49:31,334
[Laughs]

1097
00:49:31,334 --> 00:49:33,302
Ahh.

1098
00:49:33,302 --> 00:49:34,103
Well...

1099
00:49:34,103 --> 00:49:35,804
Hi.
Ohh.

1100
00:49:35,804 --> 00:49:38,507
Isn't this special? Huh.

1101
00:49:38,507 --> 00:49:43,279
We got the whole fucking band here.

1102
00:49:43,279 --> 00:49:46,049
Ross and the skid marks.

1103
00:49:46,049 --> 00:49:47,983
Now, you...

1104
00:49:47,983 --> 00:49:51,654
Got some really big, hairy balls.

1105
00:49:51,654 --> 00:49:53,989
To keep taking advantage

1106
00:49:53,989 --> 00:49:56,792
Of those desperate girls on videotape.

1107
00:49:56,792 --> 00:49:58,194
No, no, no, Danny.

1108
00:49:58,194 --> 00:50:00,729
Uh, "Mr. Silver."

1109
00:50:00,729 --> 00:50:03,099
Mr. Silver, look, they...

1110
00:50:03,099 --> 00:50:04,667
They're contacting us, okay?

1111
00:50:04,667 --> 00:50:07,236
We've got all these low-rent
actresses emailing us.

1112
00:50:07,236 --> 00:50:10,005
[Laughing] Now, Mr. Silver, he's lying,

1113
00:50:10,005 --> 00:50:11,240
Your majesty.

1114
00:50:11,240 --> 00:50:13,109
I saw Ross talk to a girl. I did.

1115
00:50:13,109 --> 00:50:15,078
Jillian Banes at the comic convention.

1116
00:50:15,078 --> 00:50:17,246
I know. I know.

1117
00:50:17,246 --> 00:50:20,983
Now, that drunk bitch's career
ended years ago.

1118
00:50:20,983 --> 00:50:23,552
She was already dead in the water.

1119
00:50:23,552 --> 00:50:26,455
Nobody was ever going to
cast her again in anything.

1120
00:50:26,455 --> 00:50:30,426
Not until the whole world sees

1121
00:50:30,426 --> 00:50:36,332
Her getting her cyborg bush plowed online.

1122
00:50:36,332 --> 00:50:38,434
It's kind of weird, I know.

1123
00:50:38,434 --> 00:50:39,968
Mmm...

1124
00:50:39,968 --> 00:50:43,739
So that's why you shit stains

1125
00:50:43,739 --> 00:50:49,545
Are going to keep making your
videos with my new clients.

1126
00:50:49,545 --> 00:50:51,480
[Laughing]

1127
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,349
Oh, there's no need to worry, fellas,

1128
00:50:53,349 --> 00:50:56,452
There's enough to go around, okay?

1129
00:50:56,452 --> 00:50:59,488
Yes.

1130
00:50:59,488 --> 00:51:01,724
And the muff scuba diver,

1131
00:51:01,724 --> 00:51:04,593
You're going to get another chance.

1132
00:51:04,593 --> 00:51:06,762
[Laughing]

1133
00:51:06,762 --> 00:51:08,431
Ichiro,

1134
00:51:08,431 --> 00:51:11,667
Get ready to get back in the game, son.

1135
00:51:11,667 --> 00:51:16,038
And even your dungeon master's
high-cholesterol ass

1136
00:51:16,038 --> 00:51:19,975
Is getting on the pussy treadmill.

1137
00:51:19,975 --> 00:51:21,277
What does that even mean?

1138
00:51:21,277 --> 00:51:22,911
Oh, yeah.

1139
00:51:22,911 --> 00:51:24,413
And your cameraman,

1140
00:51:24,413 --> 00:51:26,982
He'll have to dip his wick, too.

1141
00:51:26,982 --> 00:51:28,884
That's a fucking promise.

1142
00:51:28,884 --> 00:51:30,353
The chat room trolls

1143
00:51:30,353 --> 00:51:34,390
Are suckers for lily white virgins.

1144
00:51:35,391 --> 00:51:36,592
Ross?

1145
00:51:36,592 --> 00:51:40,296
Oh, now, what do we have here?

1146
00:51:42,097 --> 00:51:43,466
Hi. Kim.

1147
00:51:43,466 --> 00:51:46,535
Mmm. I'm Ross' old friend, Danny.

1148
00:51:49,037 --> 00:51:51,106
You're very, very attractive.

1149
00:51:51,907 --> 00:51:53,041
Are you an actress?

1150
00:51:53,041 --> 00:51:54,443
No.

1151
00:51:54,443 --> 00:51:57,780
Have you done any acting, uh...

1152
00:51:57,780 --> 00:51:59,081
Online?

1153
00:51:59,081 --> 00:52:00,983
Look, that's enough.

1154
00:52:00,983 --> 00:52:04,553
Oh, she's more than enough.

1155
00:52:04,553 --> 00:52:07,856
I'd really love to stay and chat a while,

1156
00:52:07,856 --> 00:52:10,058
But I must get going.

1157
00:52:10,058 --> 00:52:12,161
Kim, huh?

1158
00:52:12,161 --> 00:52:13,362
I'll be in touch.

1159
00:52:15,264 --> 00:52:17,233
You start tomorrow.

1160
00:52:18,534 --> 00:52:20,269
Tomorrow?

1161
00:52:20,269 --> 00:52:22,070
Start what?

1162
00:52:22,070 --> 00:52:23,138
What? Uh...

1163
00:52:23,138 --> 00:52:24,307
What was that?

1164
00:52:24,307 --> 00:52:25,941
Uh, we don't really know him.

1165
00:52:25,941 --> 00:52:27,843
He's just one of Ed's friends.

1166
00:52:27,843 --> 00:52:30,279
He seems like a real slime ball.

1167
00:52:30,279 --> 00:52:32,080
Okay, can we go eat now?

1168
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:33,616
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1169
00:52:33,616 --> 00:52:34,850
Okay, okay.

1170
00:52:37,220 --> 00:52:40,055
Holy shit, man.
Was he for real?

1171
00:52:40,055 --> 00:52:41,724
He's trying to Jack us
for our fucking sex tapes.

1172
00:52:41,724 --> 00:52:44,026
With his own docket of
unemployed entertainers.

1173
00:52:44,026 --> 00:52:45,328
This could be bad.

1174
00:52:45,328 --> 00:52:46,962
Never thought I'd say this, guys,

1175
00:52:46,962 --> 00:52:49,632
But I think we need Ed back.

1176
00:52:51,267 --> 00:52:52,835
Guys,

1177
00:52:52,835 --> 00:52:55,238
I peed my pants again.

1178
00:52:57,606 --> 00:53:00,008
She's here.
Who is it?

1179
00:53:00,008 --> 00:53:01,344
It's Meg Lingbren,

1180
00:53:01,344 --> 00:53:02,545
The actress that played Natalie Bernard

1181
00:53:02,545 --> 00:53:04,280
On the show Sin City P.D.

1182
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,915
Oh, yeah.
I remember that show.

1183
00:53:06,915 --> 00:53:08,651
Holy shit.

1184
00:53:08,651 --> 00:53:10,586
Oh, my God, is it that showgirl?

1185
00:53:10,586 --> 00:53:11,854
Uh, no.

1186
00:53:11,854 --> 00:53:14,189
The hot detective?

1187
00:53:14,189 --> 00:53:15,991
No.

1188
00:53:15,991 --> 00:53:17,293
What?

1189
00:53:17,293 --> 00:53:18,794
Who is...

1190
00:53:20,996 --> 00:53:22,231
It's not the...

1191
00:53:22,231 --> 00:53:23,799
It's the chief.

1192
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,370
How's it goin'?

1193
00:53:27,370 --> 00:53:31,340
So, which one of you boys
is gonna fuck me?

1194
00:53:31,340 --> 00:53:33,376
Answer, answer.

1195
00:53:33,376 --> 00:53:35,744
Ed, answer, answer, answer.

1196
00:53:35,744 --> 00:53:37,313
[Frat boys chanting]
Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!

1197
00:53:37,313 --> 00:53:38,481
[Cell phone ringing]

1198
00:53:38,481 --> 00:53:40,283
Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!

1199
00:53:40,283 --> 00:53:42,751
Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!

1200
00:53:42,751 --> 00:53:43,952
Sex Ed's phone!

1201
00:53:43,952 --> 00:53:45,254
Ross: Ed!

1202
00:53:45,254 --> 00:53:47,022
No, no, no, this is Delaney!

1203
00:53:47,022 --> 00:53:48,457
This is Delaney!

1204
00:53:48,457 --> 00:53:50,493
Sex Ed's busy pounding some brew dogs!

1205
00:53:50,493 --> 00:53:52,961
Put him on the phone, Delaney!
It's important!

1206
00:53:52,961 --> 00:53:54,763
All right, all right.

1207
00:53:58,233 --> 00:53:59,635
Shit!

1208
00:54:01,370 --> 00:54:02,971
There's only one thing to do, guys.

1209
00:54:02,971 --> 00:54:04,773
What?
Put 'em up.

1210
00:54:04,773 --> 00:54:06,008
Okay.

1211
00:54:06,008 --> 00:54:07,776
One, two, three.

1212
00:54:07,776 --> 00:54:09,044
Oh! God damn it!

1213
00:54:09,044 --> 00:54:10,178
Okay, okay, okay.

1214
00:54:10,178 --> 00:54:11,179
One, two, three.

1215
00:54:11,179 --> 00:54:12,214
Motherfucker.

1216
00:54:12,214 --> 00:54:13,316
Yeah, okay.

1217
00:54:13,316 --> 00:54:15,618
One, two, three.

1218
00:54:15,618 --> 00:54:17,520
Yes.

1219
00:54:22,090 --> 00:54:23,526
Take all the time you need, man.

1220
00:54:23,526 --> 00:54:25,060
It's okay.
It's all right.

1221
00:54:25,060 --> 00:54:27,830
[Somber music playing]

1222
00:54:49,552 --> 00:54:51,987
Son, it must be late there.

1223
00:54:51,987 --> 00:54:53,055
What's the matter?

1224
00:54:56,892 --> 00:55:00,363
They're with you always in your heart.

1225
00:55:01,630 --> 00:55:05,734
Through the most troubling times.

1226
00:55:08,771 --> 00:55:09,805
Kwan.

1227
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:46,108
[Thud]

1228
00:55:49,177 --> 00:55:51,514
[Slow-motion shout]

1229
00:55:52,314 --> 00:55:53,549
[Shouts]

1230
00:55:56,151 --> 00:55:58,253
It's our biggest hit yet.

1231
00:55:58,253 --> 00:56:01,289
I guess people like seeing you
have giant knee-shooter jugs

1232
00:56:01,289 --> 00:56:02,825
Block out the sun.

1233
00:56:02,825 --> 00:56:04,860
This isn't cool, man.
I mean, look at kwan.

1234
00:56:05,761 --> 00:56:07,896
Now, we've gotta call the cops.

1235
00:56:07,896 --> 00:56:10,833
Impossible. Marcus, how much are we short?

1236
00:56:10,833 --> 00:56:15,504
$171,453.44.

1237
00:56:15,504 --> 00:56:17,239
We fucked our way into the tunnel,

1238
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:18,641
And now we can see some light.

1239
00:56:18,641 --> 00:56:21,343
Yeah, whatever you say, Sex Ed.

1240
00:56:21,343 --> 00:56:22,945
What's that supposed to mean?

1241
00:56:22,945 --> 00:56:23,979
[Boing]

1242
00:56:23,979 --> 00:56:27,550
Wait. D-bag Silver just emailed us.

1243
00:56:27,550 --> 00:56:30,052
We got another client.

1244
00:56:30,052 --> 00:56:31,186
Who is it?

1245
00:56:31,186 --> 00:56:32,621
Oh, this should be interesting.

1246
00:56:32,621 --> 00:56:34,890
Says here plushy fetish.

1247
00:56:34,890 --> 00:56:36,459
I got this.

1248
00:56:36,459 --> 00:56:37,726
Yeah, yeah totally.

1249
00:56:37,726 --> 00:56:39,628
Show us how it's done, Sex Ed.

1250
00:56:39,628 --> 00:56:41,730
I will, virgin.

1251
00:56:41,730 --> 00:56:44,332
Fuck me, bucky!
Fuck me!

1252
00:56:44,332 --> 00:56:47,035
Yeah! Yeah, dick me, Bucky.

1253
00:56:47,035 --> 00:56:48,471
Dick me, dick me!

1254
00:56:48,471 --> 00:56:50,105
I'm gonna dick you!

1255
00:56:50,105 --> 00:56:51,306
Bucky, fuck me!

1256
00:56:51,306 --> 00:56:52,908
Oh, she's got some serious issues.

1257
00:56:52,908 --> 00:56:54,510
She played cheerleader Abby Collins

1258
00:56:54,510 --> 00:56:56,211
On Lakeway Heights for six seasons.

1259
00:56:56,211 --> 00:56:59,114
After the show was canceled,
she played another cheerleader,

1260
00:56:59,114 --> 00:57:03,285
Darcy Cummings, on Thousand
Palms for four seasons.

1261
00:57:03,285 --> 00:57:05,220
Yeah, I love it when you talk
dirty to me.

1262
00:57:05,220 --> 00:57:06,388
Talk dirty to me.

1263
00:57:06,388 --> 00:57:08,390
Okay, um...

1264
00:57:08,390 --> 00:57:09,525
You like bucky, bitch?

1265
00:57:09,525 --> 00:57:11,494
No!
No?

1266
00:57:11,494 --> 00:57:13,562
No, say it like Bucky.

1267
00:57:13,562 --> 00:57:14,797
Say it like Bucky.

1268
00:57:14,797 --> 00:57:17,566
[High-pitched voice]
You like Bucky, bitch?

1269
00:57:17,566 --> 00:57:20,135
No, chirp like a chipmunk!

1270
00:57:20,135 --> 00:57:21,670
Chirp, motherfucker!
Chirp!

1271
00:57:21,670 --> 00:57:24,439
[Chirping]
Yeah! Yeah!

1272
00:57:24,439 --> 00:57:26,174
[Laughing]

1273
00:57:26,174 --> 00:57:28,644
Dude.

1274
00:57:31,379 --> 00:57:32,715
[Both laugh]

1275
00:57:33,582 --> 00:57:35,317
Yeah!

1276
00:57:35,317 --> 00:57:36,585
Fuck me, Bucky.

1277
00:57:36,585 --> 00:57:38,921
[Knock on door]
Fuck me! Yeah!

1278
00:57:38,921 --> 00:57:42,758
Yeah, dick me, Bucky!
Dick me! Dick me!

1279
00:57:42,758 --> 00:57:45,528
[Gasps]
Ross, Kim's at the door.

1280
00:57:45,528 --> 00:57:46,895
Ross, Kim's at the door!

1281
00:57:46,895 --> 00:57:48,230
Cover for me.
What?

1282
00:57:48,230 --> 00:57:49,565
I'm not here.
No.

1283
00:57:49,565 --> 00:57:51,366
All right, get going.

1284
00:57:51,366 --> 00:57:52,901
Hey, guys.
Hi, Kimberly.

1285
00:57:52,901 --> 00:57:54,302
Where's, uh...

1286
00:57:54,302 --> 00:57:55,704
What happened to you?

1287
00:57:58,473 --> 00:58:00,609
Okay, whatever.
Where's Ross?

1288
00:58:00,609 --> 00:58:04,212
He's not here right now in this room.

1289
00:58:04,212 --> 00:58:05,548
Not right now.

1290
00:58:05,548 --> 00:58:08,450
We'll tell him you stopped by.

1291
00:58:08,450 --> 00:58:09,552
What are you wearing?

1292
00:58:09,552 --> 00:58:11,820
Black people clothes.

1293
00:58:11,820 --> 00:58:13,822
[Girl moaning]
What was that?

1294
00:58:13,822 --> 00:58:16,525
We are performing a live action
role playing exercise.

1295
00:58:16,525 --> 00:58:18,060
Yeah. [Chirping]

1296
00:58:18,060 --> 00:58:20,495
[Both chirping]

1297
00:58:20,495 --> 00:58:23,198
Okay, okay, you guys have fun.

1298
00:58:24,366 --> 00:58:25,801
Tell Ross to call me.

1299
00:58:25,801 --> 00:58:27,369
Okay.

1300
00:58:27,369 --> 00:58:28,837
Bye.

1301
00:58:31,774 --> 00:58:34,710
Oh, God, I almost had a fucking
heart attack.

1302
00:58:41,316 --> 00:58:44,086
[Laughing]

1303
00:58:45,287 --> 00:58:46,722
Dude, brah!

1304
00:58:46,722 --> 00:58:49,357
Oh, man.
Way to pound it, Sex Ed.

1305
00:58:49,357 --> 00:58:51,093
Yeah.

1306
00:58:51,093 --> 00:58:52,294
What a freak.

1307
00:58:52,294 --> 00:58:54,096
And I think I almost threw my
back out, too.

1308
00:58:55,931 --> 00:58:58,066
What's wrong with you?

1309
00:58:58,066 --> 00:59:01,469
Oh, my God. Kim almost busted us, man.

1310
00:59:01,469 --> 00:59:02,805
Oh, my God.

1311
00:59:02,805 --> 00:59:04,272
If she would've known I was in here,

1312
00:59:04,272 --> 00:59:06,775
She'd have grabbed a knife
and killed us all.

1313
00:59:06,775 --> 00:59:07,810
She would have.

1314
00:59:07,810 --> 00:59:10,345
Hey, there, chirpy chippers.

1315
00:59:10,345 --> 00:59:12,314
Where the hell do you think you're going?

1316
00:59:12,314 --> 00:59:14,082
I wasn't done with you.

1317
00:59:14,082 --> 00:59:15,350
Sorry, babe.

1318
00:59:15,350 --> 00:59:18,120
This squirrel's busted
his last nut for the night.

1319
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:21,089
You're a goddamn chipmunk,
not a squirrel.

1320
00:59:26,294 --> 00:59:27,295
Hey, babe!

1321
00:59:27,295 --> 00:59:29,297
Oh! I've missed you.

1322
00:59:29,297 --> 00:59:30,298
So you're here.

1323
00:59:30,298 --> 00:59:31,934
Give me a kiss, num nums.

1324
00:59:31,934 --> 00:59:33,268
How you doing?
So you're here.

1325
00:59:33,268 --> 00:59:34,870
Yeah.
Um, I was just...

1326
00:59:34,870 --> 00:59:36,739
I was coming back 'cause I
want to give you a note.

1327
00:59:36,739 --> 00:59:37,840
Well, I'm here now.

1328
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:39,474
You can just tell me what it says.

1329
00:59:39,474 --> 00:59:42,778
Well, no. I think you'd
really like what's in it.

1330
00:59:42,778 --> 00:59:44,980
Oh.
Yeah.

1331
00:59:44,980 --> 00:59:46,314
Okay.

1332
00:59:46,314 --> 00:59:48,684
[Laughs]

1333
00:59:48,684 --> 00:59:50,986
Oh. Oh, it...
Yeah.

1334
00:59:50,986 --> 00:59:51,987
Yeah?

1335
00:59:51,987 --> 00:59:53,488
You know, I think it's about time.

1336
00:59:53,488 --> 00:59:54,723
Yeah?

1337
00:59:54,723 --> 00:59:56,825
Yeah, me... me, too.

1338
00:59:56,825 --> 00:59:59,094
Look really, me, too. I...

1339
00:59:59,094 --> 01:00:02,430
But not now.
Like, not here, I mean...

1340
01:00:02,430 --> 01:00:03,999
Maybe somewhere special...

1341
01:00:03,999 --> 01:00:06,268
Hey, Ross, you want
to be my sex chipmunk?

1342
01:00:07,502 --> 01:00:08,771
Oh, hi. I'm Mandy,

1343
01:00:08,771 --> 01:00:10,673
And I love girl-on-girl.

1344
01:00:10,673 --> 01:00:12,407
I don't know her.

1345
01:00:12,407 --> 01:00:13,809
I don't know her.

1346
01:00:14,677 --> 01:00:16,712
Really? Kim!

1347
01:00:16,712 --> 01:00:18,613
What's her problem?

1348
01:00:21,549 --> 01:00:23,585
Atten hut!

1349
01:00:23,585 --> 01:00:26,488
Ten hut, general Dougie, sir.

1350
01:00:26,488 --> 01:00:28,056
At ease, ladies.

1351
01:00:28,056 --> 01:00:30,693
Now drop and give me 69.

1352
01:00:30,693 --> 01:00:33,295
Oh, yes general Dougie, sir.

1353
01:00:33,295 --> 01:00:36,598
Right after I examine
corporal Gina here

1354
01:00:36,598 --> 01:00:39,567
For any detonative devices.

1355
01:00:39,567 --> 01:00:41,136
Corporal Gina,

1356
01:00:41,136 --> 01:00:44,272
Are you hiding any illicit contraband?

1357
01:00:44,272 --> 01:00:46,675
No, sir! Ma'am.

1358
01:00:46,675 --> 01:00:48,110
[Laughs]

1359
01:00:48,110 --> 01:00:51,279
I think you have to be court-martialed

1360
01:00:51,279 --> 01:00:54,983
For bad, bad, bad behavior!

1361
01:00:54,983 --> 01:00:57,485
Oh, yeah. Let me pull out my soldier.

1362
01:00:57,485 --> 01:00:58,954
[Laughs]

1363
01:00:58,954 --> 01:00:59,822
Aah!

1364
01:00:59,822 --> 01:01:00,989
Oh. Oh.

1365
01:01:00,989 --> 01:01:02,357
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1366
01:01:02,357 --> 01:01:03,625
No other male soldiers in this,
all right?

1367
01:01:03,625 --> 01:01:05,027
Don't ask. Don't tell.

1368
01:01:05,027 --> 01:01:07,295
God damn it, Doug, I'm
cutting off your credit.

1369
01:01:07,295 --> 01:01:09,197
Buck.

1370
01:01:09,197 --> 01:01:10,198
Hi, sir.

1371
01:01:10,198 --> 01:01:11,233
God damn it.

1372
01:01:11,233 --> 01:01:15,070
You owe me $7,000 worth
of Jack-off time.

1373
01:01:15,070 --> 01:01:17,973
I'm not gonna extend no more
credit to you, boy.

1374
01:01:17,973 --> 01:01:19,975
Buck, I'm good for it.

1375
01:01:19,975 --> 01:01:21,376
Oh, I know you are.

1376
01:01:21,376 --> 01:01:25,180
In fact, I got a little
proposition for you.

1377
01:01:25,180 --> 01:01:27,082
Lexa, Gina...

1378
01:01:27,082 --> 01:01:28,583
[Laughs]

1379
01:01:28,583 --> 01:01:29,584
Get on out of here.

1380
01:01:29,584 --> 01:01:31,386
Aw!

1381
01:01:33,221 --> 01:01:34,823
Bye, Dougie.

1382
01:01:36,658 --> 01:01:38,693
I've seen your website.

1383
01:01:38,693 --> 01:01:41,329
I know what you're doing.

1384
01:01:41,329 --> 01:01:43,631
The one thing I don't understand, though,

1385
01:01:43,631 --> 01:01:48,470
Is you work for www.Pornderosa.Cum.

1386
01:01:48,470 --> 01:01:51,874
And your deal memo stipulates
that anything you do

1387
01:01:51,874 --> 01:01:55,110
In terms of content producing

1388
01:01:55,110 --> 01:01:58,446
Belongs to me along with all assets.

1389
01:01:58,446 --> 01:01:59,681
What?

1390
01:01:59,681 --> 01:02:03,251
Yep. I want a piece of the action.

1391
01:02:03,251 --> 01:02:06,354
Doug, I'm willing to let all this slide

1392
01:02:06,354 --> 01:02:10,258
If you just partner with me
on a little side project.

1393
01:02:10,258 --> 01:02:11,860
I'm listening.

1394
01:02:11,860 --> 01:02:16,799
I wanna do a live, pay-per-view,
Internet fuck fest

1395
01:02:16,799 --> 01:02:20,735
With that young virgin, Ross.

1396
01:02:20,735 --> 01:02:22,805
One night, one hump,

1397
01:02:22,805 --> 01:02:24,372
$1 million.

1398
01:02:24,372 --> 01:02:26,641
Buck, I don't know if he will.

1399
01:02:26,641 --> 01:02:27,876
He's a pussy.

1400
01:02:27,876 --> 01:02:29,544
He's scared to fuck on camera.

1401
01:02:29,544 --> 01:02:31,780
Every single one of your movies

1402
01:02:31,780 --> 01:02:35,918
Has over 25 million views.

1403
01:02:35,918 --> 01:02:40,388
If we can get that young,
sweet, virgin boy

1404
01:02:40,388 --> 01:02:46,028
To pop his cherry and sell
the live stream for $5.00 a pop,

1405
01:02:46,028 --> 01:02:49,097
That's a whole bunch of clams.

1406
01:02:49,097 --> 01:02:50,498
I think you can do the math.

1407
01:02:50,498 --> 01:02:53,368
Okay, buck, let me get back to
you on that.

1408
01:02:53,368 --> 01:02:55,503
Oh, and, buck?

1409
01:02:55,503 --> 01:02:57,806
Can you please put Lexa and Gina back on?

1410
01:02:57,806 --> 01:02:58,807
I mean I've already gotten started.

1411
01:02:58,807 --> 01:03:00,608
I gotta finish up.

1412
01:03:00,608 --> 01:03:03,311
You fucking pervert!

1413
01:03:05,447 --> 01:03:06,714
Thanks, Buck.

1414
01:03:06,714 --> 01:03:08,817
Now where were we, ladies?

1415
01:03:08,817 --> 01:03:09,852
[Knock on door, dialing cell phone]

1416
01:03:09,852 --> 01:03:11,586
Ed: Open up, brah! Come on!

1417
01:03:11,586 --> 01:03:12,787
Go away!
[Line ringing]

1418
01:03:12,787 --> 01:03:14,089
You've gotta talk to me, home slice.

1419
01:03:14,089 --> 01:03:16,859
You're always the problem, Ed.

1420
01:03:16,859 --> 01:03:19,962
You're talking crazy.
Just let me in.

1421
01:03:19,962 --> 01:03:21,396
[Cell phone rings]

1422
01:03:30,973 --> 01:03:32,407
Come on, man.

1423
01:03:32,407 --> 01:03:35,443
She was bound to find out
what you were doing.

1424
01:03:35,443 --> 01:03:36,644
[Bottle clanks in sink]

1425
01:03:36,644 --> 01:03:39,747
Yeah, but I wanted to explain
it to her myself, man,

1426
01:03:39,747 --> 01:03:41,416
When the time was right.

1427
01:03:41,416 --> 01:03:44,052
When's the time right to tell
your girlfriend

1428
01:03:44,052 --> 01:03:45,153
That you're making porn videos

1429
01:03:45,153 --> 01:03:46,721
To pay off a psychopath?

1430
01:03:46,721 --> 01:03:50,859
You mean tell her that you
are making porn videos.

1431
01:03:50,859 --> 01:03:52,327
Look I may be the star,

1432
01:03:52,327 --> 01:03:53,962
But we're in this together, brother.

1433
01:03:53,962 --> 01:03:57,432
No. No, you dragged me into this shit.

1434
01:03:57,432 --> 01:03:59,834
Now she's gone.

1435
01:04:00,869 --> 01:04:02,504
Maybe that's a good thing.

1436
01:04:02,504 --> 01:04:04,839
What?

1437
01:04:04,839 --> 01:04:08,610
Look, Kim's a nice girl.
Too nice.

1438
01:04:08,610 --> 01:04:12,247
She's held your cock hostage
for four years.

1439
01:04:12,247 --> 01:04:13,916
Maybe secretly you wanted to get caught.

1440
01:04:13,916 --> 01:04:15,117
Now you're free.

1441
01:04:15,117 --> 01:04:16,751
Being free sucks.

1442
01:04:16,751 --> 01:04:18,586
You just gotta give it a try.

1443
01:04:18,586 --> 01:04:21,456
No. I want her back.

1444
01:04:21,456 --> 01:04:23,358
You're too much of a goddamn pussy!

1445
01:04:23,358 --> 01:04:25,293
I give up.
It's too much work.

1446
01:04:25,293 --> 01:04:29,197
You ever stop to think if I
wanted your help, Ed? Huh?

1447
01:04:29,197 --> 01:04:33,068
You ever think that maybe some
of us are happy the way we are?

1448
01:04:33,068 --> 01:04:34,937
Some of us don't have to go
around showing off

1449
01:04:34,937 --> 01:04:36,371
Every single second of our lives,

1450
01:04:36,371 --> 01:04:38,240
'Cause we don't actually hate ourselves.

1451
01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:40,742
Fuck you.
You're jealous.

1452
01:04:40,742 --> 01:04:42,177
Jealous of what, Ed?

1453
01:04:42,177 --> 01:04:44,879
Jealous of you fucking drunk sleazebags

1454
01:04:44,879 --> 01:04:46,714
And chicks who are borderline retarded?

1455
01:04:46,714 --> 01:04:48,783
Yes! Exactly.

1456
01:04:48,783 --> 01:04:50,352
God, dude, look at you.

1457
01:04:50,352 --> 01:04:52,354
I don't even know who you are
anymore, asshole.

1458
01:04:52,354 --> 01:04:54,722
Who are you calling asshole, cock?

1459
01:04:54,722 --> 01:04:56,624
[Both whining]

1460
01:04:59,394 --> 01:05:00,562
[Squealing]

1461
01:05:01,729 --> 01:05:02,797
Unh!
Ow!

1462
01:05:02,797 --> 01:05:04,732
Oh! Aah! Aah!

1463
01:05:04,732 --> 01:05:06,068
Ow! You're a whore!

1464
01:05:06,068 --> 01:05:07,635
Aah! Unh!

1465
01:05:09,371 --> 01:05:10,372
Jerk!

1466
01:05:19,948 --> 01:05:21,449
I'm sorry.

1467
01:05:21,449 --> 01:05:23,218
All right, brother.

1468
01:05:23,218 --> 01:05:24,752
Let's see how well you do without me.

1469
01:05:24,752 --> 01:05:26,188
Fuck you!

1470
01:05:26,188 --> 01:05:29,591
I'm done with all of you for
real this time!

1471
01:05:32,794 --> 01:05:34,796
What is the problem?

1472
01:05:34,796 --> 01:05:37,165
Oh, Ed's out for good.

1473
01:05:37,165 --> 01:05:39,901
So, yeah, we pretty much have
to come up

1474
01:05:39,901 --> 01:05:42,070
With the rest of the cash on our own.

1475
01:05:42,070 --> 01:05:43,938
What are we short?

1476
01:05:43,938 --> 01:05:47,342
We need to generate $98,000
in the next four days.

1477
01:05:47,342 --> 01:05:49,144
So according to my calculations,

1478
01:05:49,144 --> 01:05:51,213
We need to make two more movies,

1479
01:05:51,213 --> 01:05:52,847
And that should put us over the mark.

1480
01:05:52,847 --> 01:05:54,182
Okay, okay.

1481
01:05:54,182 --> 01:05:55,950
Uh, well, you're gonna have to
do it, Marcus.

1482
01:05:55,950 --> 01:05:57,152
'Cause Kwan's...

1483
01:05:57,152 --> 01:05:58,686
I respectfully decline.

1484
01:05:58,686 --> 01:06:01,256
I did my part, and I'm
traumatized for life.

1485
01:06:01,256 --> 01:06:02,824
Trying to get the taste of
female ejaculate

1486
01:06:02,824 --> 01:06:04,359
Out of your mouth

1487
01:06:04,359 --> 01:06:06,028
Is like trying to get skunk
spray off clothing.

1488
01:06:06,028 --> 01:06:07,029
Brush it off, man.
Doesn't matter.

1489
01:06:07,029 --> 01:06:08,263
You're the only one.

1490
01:06:08,263 --> 01:06:09,897
Frankly, I believe Ed has a point.

1491
01:06:09,897 --> 01:06:11,933
You're the only qualified
person yet to contribute,

1492
01:06:11,933 --> 01:06:14,502
And now you're single.

1493
01:06:14,502 --> 01:06:16,438
And factoring in your virginity,

1494
01:06:16,438 --> 01:06:18,606
Which increases the coefficient by 4.2.

1495
01:06:18,606 --> 01:06:21,143
And if we carry over the 8,
then that's... whoa.

1496
01:06:21,143 --> 01:06:23,011
What does it say?
What does it mean?

1497
01:06:23,011 --> 01:06:24,212
According to my calculations,

1498
01:06:24,212 --> 01:06:25,513
I believe that if you were to perform,

1499
01:06:25,513 --> 01:06:27,582
We will only need to make one movie.

1500
01:06:27,582 --> 01:06:29,317
That's impossible.

1501
01:06:30,618 --> 01:06:31,919
Oh! What about Doug?

1502
01:06:31,919 --> 01:06:33,155
Yeah, tell Kwan to get

1503
01:06:33,155 --> 01:06:34,489
Our next starlet on the phone.

1504
01:06:50,272 --> 01:06:51,706
Hey, wake up.
[Slap]

1505
01:06:51,706 --> 01:06:52,807
Ow. What...

1506
01:06:52,807 --> 01:06:54,276
Doug, you're up.
What?

1507
01:06:54,276 --> 01:06:55,843
You're up, man.
It's your turn to make a video.

1508
01:06:55,843 --> 01:06:57,745
We've got Anna Williams for you.

1509
01:06:57,745 --> 01:06:59,214
Who?

1510
01:06:59,214 --> 01:07:01,249
Uh, that chick that fell
down a well 20 years ago.

1511
01:07:01,249 --> 01:07:02,250
You have to have sex with her.

1512
01:07:02,250 --> 01:07:03,685
Me?
Yeah.

1513
01:07:03,685 --> 01:07:07,422
Oh, no. I'm, uh...
I'm all tapped out.

1514
01:07:07,422 --> 01:07:08,656
Dude, what?

1515
01:07:08,656 --> 01:07:09,857
No, you've been waiting for this forever.

1516
01:07:09,857 --> 01:07:11,126
Come on, get up.

1517
01:07:11,126 --> 01:07:12,527
You've gotta give me a warning,

1518
01:07:12,527 --> 01:07:13,961
Or I'm gonna take care of myself first.

1519
01:07:13,961 --> 01:07:15,830
Besides, it's 3:00 in the afternoon.

1520
01:07:15,830 --> 01:07:17,232
Just get Ed to do it.

1521
01:07:17,232 --> 01:07:18,566
I'll take care of the next one.

1522
01:07:18,566 --> 01:07:19,801
Ed's not available.

1523
01:07:19,801 --> 01:07:21,736
Okay, you do it.

1524
01:07:21,736 --> 01:07:23,405
No.

1525
01:07:23,405 --> 01:07:24,206
[Sighs]

1526
01:07:24,206 --> 01:07:25,473
Okay, fine.

1527
01:07:25,473 --> 01:07:27,375
Oh, I got it.
Perfect.

1528
01:07:27,375 --> 01:07:28,776
Couple of these will do the trick.

1529
01:07:28,776 --> 01:07:29,844
Pop 'em quick.

1530
01:07:29,844 --> 01:07:30,845
Hey, whoa, whoa.

1531
01:07:30,845 --> 01:07:31,979
Isn't one enough of those?

1532
01:07:31,979 --> 01:07:33,415
Better safe than sorry.
Mmm!

1533
01:07:33,415 --> 01:07:35,850
I wonder how long it takes for
these things to kick in.

1534
01:07:35,850 --> 01:07:36,951
Oh!

1535
01:07:36,951 --> 01:07:38,453
All right, whatever.
Let's go.

1536
01:07:38,453 --> 01:07:40,155
All right.
Come on. Come on.

1537
01:07:40,155 --> 01:07:41,423
Oh!

1538
01:07:43,891 --> 01:07:45,360
I don't feel too good, man.

1539
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:47,129
My heart is beating really fast.

1540
01:07:47,129 --> 01:07:48,363
You'll be fine.

1541
01:07:48,363 --> 01:07:49,731
The side effects include diarrhea,

1542
01:07:49,731 --> 01:07:51,233
Flushing of the face, heart palpitations,

1543
01:07:51,233 --> 01:07:52,600
Stroke and coma.

1544
01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:53,901
Like I said, you'll be fine.

1545
01:07:53,901 --> 01:07:55,470
Go get her.

1546
01:07:55,470 --> 01:07:58,406
Go for it.
Hey, come on over here.

1547
01:07:59,774 --> 01:08:01,976
Hi.
Hi.

1548
01:08:01,976 --> 01:08:03,578
Whoo!

1549
01:08:03,578 --> 01:08:05,247
[Groaning]

1550
01:08:06,848 --> 01:08:08,583
Mmm!

1551
01:08:08,583 --> 01:08:10,485
[Laughing]

1552
01:08:10,485 --> 01:08:11,919
Whoo!

1553
01:08:11,919 --> 01:08:15,490
[Laughing and coughing]

1554
01:08:17,125 --> 01:08:18,826
You okay?

1555
01:08:18,826 --> 01:08:19,994
I'm... I'm good.

1556
01:08:19,994 --> 01:08:23,198
Ahh.
Okay, good.

1557
01:08:23,198 --> 01:08:25,667
[Coughing]

1558
01:08:25,667 --> 01:08:26,934
You just relax.

1559
01:08:26,934 --> 01:08:28,002
Okay.

1560
01:08:28,002 --> 01:08:29,671
Yeah?
Yeah.

1561
01:08:29,671 --> 01:08:30,738
Mmm!

1562
01:08:30,738 --> 01:08:33,275
Ooh! Do you like what you see?

1563
01:08:33,275 --> 01:08:35,143
Ooh, yeah. Spank me.

1564
01:08:35,143 --> 01:08:36,411
Yeah.

1565
01:08:39,381 --> 01:08:41,583
What am I supposed to do now?

1566
01:08:41,583 --> 01:08:44,018
Shit! Doug.

1567
01:08:44,018 --> 01:08:45,153
Doug, wake up.

1568
01:08:45,153 --> 01:08:46,888
Don't clap. Don't clap.

1569
01:08:46,888 --> 01:08:48,656
He's still functioning.
He's good. He's just passed out.

1570
01:08:48,656 --> 01:08:50,325
It says we only have to worry

1571
01:08:50,325 --> 01:08:51,759
If his erection lasts more
than four hours.

1572
01:08:51,759 --> 01:08:54,996
Eww. Are you sure he's not dead?

1573
01:08:54,996 --> 01:08:56,798
No, keep going.

1574
01:08:56,798 --> 01:08:58,766
Okay. Okay.

1575
01:08:58,766 --> 01:09:00,968
Should I take his pants off?

1576
01:09:00,968 --> 01:09:02,270
Yeah, sure.
Take 'em down.

1577
01:09:02,270 --> 01:09:04,772
Get comfortable.

1578
01:09:04,772 --> 01:09:05,907
Come on, big boy.

1579
01:09:05,907 --> 01:09:07,209
Ooh!

1580
01:09:07,209 --> 01:09:13,715
All right. Looks like we are uploaded.

1581
01:09:13,715 --> 01:09:14,982
[Woman moaning]

1582
01:09:14,982 --> 01:09:16,684
Fuck!
I can't believe it.

1583
01:09:16,684 --> 01:09:18,320
Why do I always miss everything?

1584
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:19,787
I can't believe you let this
woman fuck me

1585
01:09:19,787 --> 01:09:20,788
While I was in a coma.

1586
01:09:20,788 --> 01:09:22,890
Yeah, she's going pretty wild here.

1587
01:09:22,890 --> 01:09:25,760
Ooh! Ooh, you like that?

1588
01:09:25,760 --> 01:09:26,994
You like that?

1589
01:09:26,994 --> 01:09:30,698
That might as well have been
a rock she was humping.

1590
01:09:30,698 --> 01:09:33,235
You didn't feel anything?
Anything at all?

1591
01:09:33,235 --> 01:09:35,637
No! God damn it!

1592
01:09:35,637 --> 01:09:37,205
Ohh!

1593
01:09:37,205 --> 01:09:38,573
Ooh!

1594
01:09:38,573 --> 01:09:40,908
I'm the first virgin that's
not a virgin.

1595
01:09:40,908 --> 01:09:42,043
Stop it.

1596
01:09:42,043 --> 01:09:43,645
It's true.

1597
01:09:43,645 --> 01:09:45,146
Now I know what parents feel like

1598
01:09:45,146 --> 01:09:46,748
When they adopt kids.

1599
01:09:52,587 --> 01:09:55,423
Well, we're up to 3 million
hits already

1600
01:09:55,423 --> 01:09:57,058
With Douglas's video.

1601
01:09:57,058 --> 01:09:58,593
It's good, but not good enough.

1602
01:10:03,298 --> 01:10:04,499
Yeah, asshole.

1603
01:10:04,499 --> 01:10:05,733
Hey, at least I got to have sex,

1604
01:10:05,733 --> 01:10:07,235
Even though I don't remember.

1605
01:10:07,235 --> 01:10:08,570
You just got a face full.

1606
01:10:08,570 --> 01:10:10,638
We're totally fucked, guys.
We have no star.

1607
01:10:11,473 --> 01:10:12,674
I hate to say it,

1608
01:10:12,674 --> 01:10:14,542
But no one can do it like Ed.

1609
01:10:15,877 --> 01:10:17,479
We have three days to come up
with 80 grand

1610
01:10:17,479 --> 01:10:19,046
Or else we go to prison,

1611
01:10:19,046 --> 01:10:20,782
Which means we're fucked.

1612
01:10:22,116 --> 01:10:24,386
African-American men are
12 times more likely to die

1613
01:10:24,386 --> 01:10:26,053
In prison than other ethnicities.

1614
01:10:26,053 --> 01:10:27,989
Think, think, think, think.

1615
01:10:27,989 --> 01:10:29,957
There is one way.

1616
01:10:29,957 --> 01:10:32,059
Doug, you're not starring
in another video.

1617
01:10:32,059 --> 01:10:34,829
No. Porndarosa.Cum.

1618
01:10:34,829 --> 01:10:37,164
They want to do a cross-promotion
with us.

1619
01:10:37,164 --> 01:10:38,165
Why didn't you fucking say something?

1620
01:10:38,165 --> 01:10:39,367
Will they pay us?

1621
01:10:39,367 --> 01:10:40,435
Yeah.
Not chump change, either.

1622
01:10:40,435 --> 01:10:42,737
We're talking one mil...

1623
01:10:42,737 --> 01:10:45,473
Hundred thousand dollars...
[Gasps]

1624
01:10:45,473 --> 01:10:48,042
If Ross agrees to lose his virginity

1625
01:10:48,042 --> 01:10:52,146
On a live stream pay-per-view
at the porndarosa stages.

1626
01:10:52,146 --> 01:10:53,848
But I knew he was too much of
a pussy to do it,

1627
01:10:53,848 --> 01:10:55,750
So that's why I didn't say nothin'.

1628
01:10:55,750 --> 01:10:57,919
Yeah, I mean...

1629
01:10:57,919 --> 01:10:59,587
Well...

1630
01:11:02,189 --> 01:11:03,825
Say we're sorry to who, Danny?

1631
01:11:06,093 --> 01:11:07,895
Actually, yeah.

1632
01:11:07,895 --> 01:11:09,397
Yeah. Why don't we just find
her house,

1633
01:11:09,397 --> 01:11:10,832
And I'll beg for forgiveness?
I mean...

1634
01:11:10,832 --> 01:11:12,567
And we apologize for recording ed

1635
01:11:12,567 --> 01:11:14,101
Slamming his penis into her vagina

1636
01:11:14,101 --> 01:11:15,370
While she was intoxicated

1637
01:11:15,370 --> 01:11:17,339
Under a mix of narcotics and alcohol.

1638
01:11:17,339 --> 01:11:18,873
I've got a better idea.

1639
01:11:18,873 --> 01:11:20,875
You guys stay here.
I'll apologize for us.

1640
01:11:20,875 --> 01:11:23,711
But just in case, uh...

1641
01:11:25,079 --> 01:11:27,549
Tell Porndarosa yes.

1642
01:11:27,549 --> 01:11:29,384
What? Really?

1643
01:11:29,384 --> 01:11:31,285
It's our plan "b."

1644
01:11:31,285 --> 01:11:32,687
Danny's second option.

1645
01:11:32,687 --> 01:11:36,524
If Melanie doesn't drop the
charges, then...

1646
01:11:36,524 --> 01:11:39,327
Call Porndarosa and tell them
to set it up.

1647
01:11:52,540 --> 01:11:54,141
[Doorbell buzzes]

1648
01:11:54,141 --> 01:11:56,043
Man, on intercom: Deliveries to
the service gate on the side.

1649
01:11:56,043 --> 01:11:58,580
No, I'm here to see Mellony Adams.

1650
01:11:58,580 --> 01:11:59,881
Is she expecting you?

1651
01:11:59,881 --> 01:12:01,015
No.

1652
01:12:01,015 --> 01:12:03,851
Then call her manager and make
an appointment.

1653
01:12:03,851 --> 01:12:05,186
I need to talk to her.
It's important.

1654
01:12:05,186 --> 01:12:06,754
Please step away from the gate.

1655
01:12:06,754 --> 01:12:08,656
Security will be down shortly
to escort you off the property.

1656
01:12:08,656 --> 01:12:10,525
No, no, no.
No, no. Just, uh...

1657
01:12:10,525 --> 01:12:12,560
Just tell her that I'm the guy

1658
01:12:12,560 --> 01:12:14,629
That put her on the Internet.

1659
01:12:19,967 --> 01:12:21,836
[Gate buzzes]

1660
01:12:25,440 --> 01:12:28,009
Mellony: So...

1661
01:12:28,009 --> 01:12:29,343
Ross.

1662
01:12:29,343 --> 01:12:30,812
So, Ross, um...

1663
01:12:30,812 --> 01:12:33,448
What is it that you wanted
to talk to me about?

1664
01:12:33,448 --> 01:12:36,651
Um, uh, just, uh...

1665
01:12:36,651 --> 01:12:38,420
I just wanted to see you and...

1666
01:12:38,420 --> 01:12:39,621
Wait.

1667
01:12:39,621 --> 01:12:43,057
Are you... are you the one
that I fucked?

1668
01:12:43,057 --> 01:12:44,158
What?

1669
01:12:44,158 --> 01:12:49,063
Are you the one that I fucked
from that video?

1670
01:12:49,063 --> 01:12:50,465
Okay, look, things are...

1671
01:12:50,465 --> 01:12:53,134
Things are a little fuzzy
from that night.

1672
01:12:53,134 --> 01:12:55,002
Don't really remember.

1673
01:12:55,002 --> 01:12:57,405
And I haven't really gotten
myself, you know,

1674
01:12:57,405 --> 01:12:59,607
Up to watch that video, so...

1675
01:12:59,607 --> 01:13:01,008
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, no.

1676
01:13:01,008 --> 01:13:03,144
That was... that was Ed.
It wasn't me.

1677
01:13:03,144 --> 01:13:04,512
Can I have a muffin?

1678
01:13:04,512 --> 01:13:05,880
Sure.
Yeah, um, so...

1679
01:13:05,880 --> 01:13:07,248
Can I have an orange, too?

1680
01:13:07,248 --> 01:13:08,349
Yeah. No, help yourself, darlin'.

1681
01:13:08,349 --> 01:13:09,350
Thank you.

1682
01:13:09,350 --> 01:13:12,219
Um, Ed? Ed?

1683
01:13:12,219 --> 01:13:16,157
Oh, um, okay. So...

1684
01:13:16,157 --> 01:13:20,728
Well, you can tell Ed...

1685
01:13:22,664 --> 01:13:26,133
That I said thank you for me, please.

1686
01:13:26,133 --> 01:13:27,602
[Laughs]

1687
01:13:27,602 --> 01:13:29,136
Thank you?

1688
01:13:29,136 --> 01:13:31,873
He saved my life.

1689
01:13:34,542 --> 01:13:36,978
What? You're not mad at us?

1690
01:13:36,978 --> 01:13:38,546
Oh, I was.

1691
01:13:38,546 --> 01:13:40,815
I definitely was.

1692
01:13:40,815 --> 01:13:45,152
But I also realized that having
sex with your...

1693
01:13:45,152 --> 01:13:46,688
Your friend Ed

1694
01:13:46,688 --> 01:13:51,959
Was the best thing that's ever
happened to me.

1695
01:13:51,959 --> 01:13:56,698
Okay. You see, I had hit rock bottom.

1696
01:13:56,698 --> 01:14:00,301
I needed to take a really long,
hard look at myself

1697
01:14:00,301 --> 01:14:02,036
And... And change.

1698
01:14:02,036 --> 01:14:04,672
But...

1699
01:14:04,672 --> 01:14:07,241
I'm 27 days clean.

1700
01:14:07,241 --> 01:14:08,643
[Laughs]
I know, it doesn't...

1701
01:14:08,643 --> 01:14:09,977
I know that doesn't seem like much,

1702
01:14:09,977 --> 01:14:13,280
But I'm actually really excited
about it.

1703
01:14:13,280 --> 01:14:15,717
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

1704
01:14:15,717 --> 01:14:17,184
But what about the money?

1705
01:14:17,184 --> 01:14:18,452
Why are you blackmailing us?

1706
01:14:18,452 --> 01:14:19,587
What?

1707
01:14:19,587 --> 01:14:21,188
Blackmailing you?

1708
01:14:21,188 --> 01:14:22,824
You know, the...

1709
01:14:22,824 --> 01:14:24,225
The half-million Danny demanded

1710
01:14:24,225 --> 01:14:27,128
To not send us to jail and,
like, kill us?

1711
01:14:27,128 --> 01:14:28,462
He did what?

1712
01:14:28,462 --> 01:14:29,797
Yeah, he's gonna send us all to jail

1713
01:14:29,797 --> 01:14:31,165
If we don't come up with 80 grand

1714
01:14:31,165 --> 01:14:32,066
In the next two days.

1715
01:14:32,066 --> 01:14:34,301
Okay, no, no, no.
Danny is crazy.

1716
01:14:34,301 --> 01:14:35,402
Yeah, I know. Yeah.

1717
01:14:35,402 --> 01:14:37,204
And I'm sorry if he hurt you.

1718
01:14:37,204 --> 01:14:39,073
So will you help us?

1719
01:14:40,341 --> 01:14:43,110
Look, I am... I am...

1720
01:14:43,110 --> 01:14:46,047
I am so flattered that you
came here to talk about this

1721
01:14:46,047 --> 01:14:47,549
And get it all out...

1722
01:14:49,283 --> 01:14:52,486
But I can't help you, sweetie.

1723
01:14:52,486 --> 01:14:54,589
I can't go back into that world.

1724
01:14:54,589 --> 01:14:56,090
I'm working on me.

1725
01:14:56,090 --> 01:14:57,592
I can't get involved.

1726
01:14:57,592 --> 01:14:59,694
I have to work on me.

1727
01:14:59,694 --> 01:15:02,630
That's what comes first.

1728
01:15:02,630 --> 01:15:05,066
But, um...

1729
01:15:08,102 --> 01:15:09,704
Please, I...

1730
01:15:24,886 --> 01:15:26,387
You got some news, partner?

1731
01:15:26,387 --> 01:15:28,189
We're ready to do this.

1732
01:15:28,189 --> 01:15:29,624
Under one condition:

1733
01:15:29,624 --> 01:15:30,925
I am the producer

1734
01:15:30,925 --> 01:15:33,294
And I alone handle all of the money.

1735
01:15:33,294 --> 01:15:35,396
I'll also need an unlimited
lifetime supply

1736
01:15:35,396 --> 01:15:38,866
Of live two-way Jack-off
access on Porndarosa.Cum.

1737
01:15:40,768 --> 01:15:43,537
You drive a hard bargain, partner.

1738
01:15:44,772 --> 01:15:47,008
But you got yourself a deal.

1739
01:15:47,008 --> 01:15:48,643
Yes!

1740
01:15:48,643 --> 01:15:50,645
♪ gettin' porn money ♪

1741
01:15:50,645 --> 01:15:52,379
♪ gettin' porn and money ♪

1742
01:15:52,379 --> 01:15:56,017
Lifetime supply. Yeah.

1743
01:16:16,704 --> 01:16:18,272
Tickle, tickle!

1744
01:16:18,272 --> 01:16:20,174
Tickle, tickle.

1745
01:16:20,174 --> 01:16:22,509
I want to spank you.

1746
01:16:22,509 --> 01:16:24,912
Okay, come on, Ross.

1747
01:16:24,912 --> 01:16:26,313
Come on, Ross.
You got this.

1748
01:16:26,313 --> 01:16:27,849
Come on, come on.

1749
01:16:27,849 --> 01:16:29,784
One drink.
Take a little drink.

1750
01:16:32,019 --> 01:16:33,454
Blech!

1751
01:16:33,454 --> 01:16:34,789
Let's roll.

1752
01:16:34,789 --> 01:16:38,259
[Funk music playing]

1753
01:16:38,259 --> 01:16:39,593
Howdy, partners.

1754
01:16:39,593 --> 01:16:41,696
I'm buck Hollister, president of...

1755
01:16:41,696 --> 01:16:45,266
What the heck?
Get the fuck outta here.

1756
01:16:45,266 --> 01:16:46,567
What are you...?

1757
01:16:46,567 --> 01:16:50,104
President of Porndarosa.Cum.

1758
01:16:50,104 --> 01:16:52,006
I'd like to thank you all
for tuning in tonight

1759
01:16:52,006 --> 01:16:54,341
To watch some hot fuck action

1760
01:16:54,341 --> 01:16:57,611
With one of the hottest young
cock stars in the biz.

1761
01:16:57,611 --> 01:17:01,082
Tonight, we got a special treat.

1762
01:17:03,751 --> 01:17:05,086
We're ready for you.

1763
01:17:05,086 --> 01:17:05,953
Okay.

1764
01:17:05,953 --> 01:17:08,022
You ready? You excited?

1765
01:17:08,022 --> 01:17:10,257
You are going to be waist deep

1766
01:17:10,257 --> 01:17:13,094
In some lady's vajayjay in,
like, 30 seconds.

1767
01:17:13,094 --> 01:17:14,128
Yeah.

1768
01:17:14,128 --> 01:17:15,496
I'm excited.
I'm excited for you.

1769
01:17:15,496 --> 01:17:17,464
Hey, I'd be out there if I could,

1770
01:17:17,464 --> 01:17:20,167
But can't go back on set.

1771
01:17:20,167 --> 01:17:22,369
Oh, jerk off once in the corner

1772
01:17:22,369 --> 01:17:24,305
And suddenly you're public
enemy number one.

1773
01:17:24,305 --> 01:17:25,873
All right. All right, got it, Scotty.

1774
01:17:25,873 --> 01:17:27,842
All right. Thanks, man.

1775
01:17:28,876 --> 01:17:30,577
Fuckin' crazy, man.

1776
01:17:30,577 --> 01:17:32,714
Suck it up, suck it up, suck it up.

1777
01:17:37,018 --> 01:17:38,920
Okay, you got this.
You got this.

1778
01:17:38,920 --> 01:17:40,187
We're gonna witness

1779
01:17:40,187 --> 01:17:42,456
America's favorite virgin, Ross Ganz,

1780
01:17:42,456 --> 01:17:46,327
Pop his cherry tonight live
on videotape!

1781
01:17:46,327 --> 01:17:49,530
[Chanting] I chi ooh la goo chi koopah!

1782
01:17:49,530 --> 01:17:50,932
What the hell did he just say?

1783
01:17:50,932 --> 01:17:54,368
I don't, um...
Do you have to go potty?

1784
01:17:54,368 --> 01:17:55,536
I don't know.

1785
01:17:55,536 --> 01:17:57,872
Jeez.

1786
01:17:57,872 --> 01:18:00,207
Well, here he is... Ross.

1787
01:18:00,207 --> 01:18:01,675
Come here, boy.

1788
01:18:01,675 --> 01:18:03,010
Hey.

1789
01:18:03,010 --> 01:18:06,613
So let me get this straight, partner.

1790
01:18:06,613 --> 01:18:09,550
You're a virgin?

1791
01:18:09,550 --> 01:18:11,252
Uh, yes. Yeah.

1792
01:18:11,252 --> 01:18:13,888
[Laughing] A virgin!

1793
01:18:13,888 --> 01:18:16,958
Whoo! Well, we're pretty fucking classy

1794
01:18:16,958 --> 01:18:19,426
Here at Porndarosa.Cum,

1795
01:18:19,426 --> 01:18:21,162
So what we did is went out

1796
01:18:21,162 --> 01:18:22,663
And got you an extra special

1797
01:18:22,663 --> 01:18:24,365
Little hussy to bang.

1798
01:18:24,365 --> 01:18:27,634
Are you ready to meet your
lucky starlet, stud?

1799
01:18:27,634 --> 01:18:29,303
Let's just get this over with, man.

1800
01:18:29,303 --> 01:18:30,471
Right.

1801
01:18:30,471 --> 01:18:34,108
Well, you know her from the magazines.

1802
01:18:34,108 --> 01:18:38,880
Let's all please welcome Miss
Emily Addison!

1803
01:18:40,181 --> 01:18:41,248
Holy shit.

1804
01:18:45,920 --> 01:18:49,423
Hey, Ross.
I'm a big fan of yours.

1805
01:18:54,728 --> 01:18:56,397
Ohh!

1806
01:18:58,465 --> 01:19:00,567
Saddle up, cowboy!

1807
01:19:00,567 --> 01:19:05,306
Time for some fuckin'!
Yee-haw!

1808
01:19:09,210 --> 01:19:10,812
Whoa.

1809
01:19:12,413 --> 01:19:13,948
Uh...

1810
01:19:16,617 --> 01:19:18,352
Whoa.

1811
01:19:19,353 --> 01:19:21,088
Uh...

1812
01:19:35,302 --> 01:19:36,838
[Whimpers]

1813
01:19:55,056 --> 01:19:57,124
Wait, wait, wait.
Aah!

1814
01:20:00,261 --> 01:20:01,829
Wait.

1815
01:20:06,667 --> 01:20:07,801
What?

1816
01:20:07,801 --> 01:20:09,803
You don't like me?

1817
01:20:09,803 --> 01:20:11,505
Yes. Yes, I do.

1818
01:20:11,505 --> 01:20:13,174
I just...
Holy shit, I do.

1819
01:20:13,174 --> 01:20:15,642
I just...
I-I-I don't know.

1820
01:20:15,642 --> 01:20:17,178
Get to it, kid!

1821
01:20:17,178 --> 01:20:18,812
You're gettin' paid to fuck!

1822
01:20:18,812 --> 01:20:20,681
Shut up!

1823
01:20:20,681 --> 01:20:21,883
Fuck this!

1824
01:20:21,883 --> 01:20:23,284
My God, this is insane.
I can't.

1825
01:20:23,284 --> 01:20:25,887
I can't do this. I can't.

1826
01:20:25,887 --> 01:20:28,355
I... I... I can't believe these words

1827
01:20:28,355 --> 01:20:30,357
Are actually coming out of my mouth,

1828
01:20:30,357 --> 01:20:32,426
Considering I've probably
masturbated to you

1829
01:20:32,426 --> 01:20:34,295
Over 1,000 times.

1830
01:20:35,897 --> 01:20:37,331
I know everything about you.

1831
01:20:37,331 --> 01:20:39,700
Oh, my God.
You're awesome.

1832
01:20:39,700 --> 01:20:41,302
I, uh...

1833
01:20:41,302 --> 01:20:43,037
I even have this little shrine

1834
01:20:43,037 --> 01:20:46,073
I made dedicated to you.

1835
01:20:46,073 --> 01:20:47,841
It took some pretty huge...

1836
01:20:47,841 --> 01:20:50,677
Stuff. Shut up!

1837
01:20:50,677 --> 01:20:53,047
You know what?
The truth is

1838
01:20:53,047 --> 01:20:55,249
Me and my friends are only
making these tapes

1839
01:20:55,249 --> 01:20:56,417
Because we were threatened

1840
01:20:56,417 --> 01:20:58,385
By that Hollywood agent Danny Silver,

1841
01:20:58,385 --> 01:21:01,455
Who's a fucking slimy cocksucker,

1842
01:21:01,455 --> 01:21:03,624
And I hope you're fucking
watching, motherfucker!

1843
01:21:03,624 --> 01:21:06,627
He threatened to beat us up
and have us arrested

1844
01:21:06,627 --> 01:21:10,197
And even kill us if we didn't
come up with 500 grand.

1845
01:21:10,197 --> 01:21:12,733
Well, here's your 500 grand
right here, motherfucker!

1846
01:21:12,733 --> 01:21:13,935
Come and get it, 'cause I quit!

1847
01:21:14,969 --> 01:21:16,603
You can beat me up.
I don't care.

1848
01:21:16,603 --> 01:21:18,105
Whatever, man.
All right?

1849
01:21:18,105 --> 01:21:19,740
Because we are done working for you.

1850
01:21:19,740 --> 01:21:20,741
We're done!

1851
01:21:20,741 --> 01:21:22,143
You bitch!

1852
01:21:22,143 --> 01:21:24,078
And I'll have you know,

1853
01:21:24,078 --> 01:21:26,613
There's only one girl I want
to lose my virginity to.

1854
01:21:28,882 --> 01:21:30,717
My ex-girlfriend Kim.

1855
01:21:30,717 --> 01:21:33,087
And she wouldn't be watching this,

1856
01:21:33,087 --> 01:21:35,089
Because she's not that kind of girl.

1857
01:21:35,089 --> 01:21:36,590
Like all you little perverts.

1858
01:21:36,590 --> 01:21:38,292
She's pure,

1859
01:21:38,292 --> 01:21:41,095
And I love that about her.

1860
01:21:43,697 --> 01:21:46,033
It's all this bullshit
that caused us to break up!

1861
01:21:46,033 --> 01:21:48,035
Fucking shit!

1862
01:21:48,035 --> 01:21:49,436
Hey, Kwan.

1863
01:21:52,239 --> 01:21:54,241
Come here.
I'm not done with you.

1864
01:21:54,241 --> 01:21:55,642
Look, I know you're watching, Ed.

1865
01:21:55,642 --> 01:21:57,144
All right?

1866
01:21:57,144 --> 01:21:59,580
I just want to let you know
you're not a frat guy.

1867
01:21:59,580 --> 01:22:01,915
Come on, you're a ninth level paladin

1868
01:22:01,915 --> 01:22:04,351
That's led the clan on countless
adventures.

1869
01:22:04,351 --> 01:22:05,552
Come on, dude.

1870
01:22:05,552 --> 01:22:08,055
If I had a fucking dollar
for every time you talked

1871
01:22:08,055 --> 01:22:10,591
About how much Delaney was a cocksucker,

1872
01:22:10,591 --> 01:22:13,660
Man, I'd have, like, between
84 and 130 dollars.

1873
01:22:13,660 --> 01:22:15,596
Hey, brah. I might've
said one or two things.

1874
01:22:15,596 --> 01:22:18,332
Seriously. Delaney doesn't even
like you, man.

1875
01:22:18,332 --> 01:22:20,334
He just hangs out with you
because you do his homework.

1876
01:22:20,334 --> 01:22:21,568
You know what, fuck this!

1877
01:22:21,568 --> 01:22:23,670
I hope you're watching, too, Delaney.

1878
01:22:23,670 --> 01:22:25,672
Because I'm gonna tell the Dean
on your punk ass!

1879
01:22:25,672 --> 01:22:27,641
Get him off the fuckin' set!

1880
01:22:27,641 --> 01:22:29,943
He's blocking the action!

1881
01:22:29,943 --> 01:22:32,346
Time to take out the garbage.

1882
01:22:32,346 --> 01:22:33,680
Recycle.

1883
01:22:33,680 --> 01:22:34,815
You can sit.

1884
01:22:34,815 --> 01:22:36,083
Ed!

1885
01:22:36,083 --> 01:22:37,218
[Speaking fantasy language]

1886
01:22:37,218 --> 01:22:40,021
[Speaking fantasy language]

1887
01:22:42,089 --> 01:22:44,925
Unhand him, you ghouls, at once!

1888
01:22:44,925 --> 01:22:47,561
Aah!

1889
01:22:47,561 --> 01:22:50,031
You guys are killing my boner.

1890
01:22:50,964 --> 01:22:53,100
Marcus, wake up.

1891
01:22:54,435 --> 01:22:57,038
Yo, what the fuck happened?

1892
01:22:57,038 --> 01:22:59,240
Got knocked out again, buddy.

1893
01:22:59,240 --> 01:23:01,675
You... you're black.

1894
01:23:01,675 --> 01:23:04,211
No shit, bitch.

1895
01:23:04,211 --> 01:23:06,847
Damn, who the fuck served me?

1896
01:23:06,847 --> 01:23:08,849
Dude, all those blows to your head

1897
01:23:08,849 --> 01:23:10,317
Somehow cured your asperger's.

1898
01:23:10,317 --> 01:23:12,719
Boy, you really are a pussy.

1899
01:23:12,719 --> 01:23:15,556
You can't even get it up for
a million dollars.

1900
01:23:15,556 --> 01:23:16,957
You mean 100,000.

1901
01:23:16,957 --> 01:23:20,594
Doug made the deal for a million.

1902
01:23:20,594 --> 01:23:21,728
He did?

1903
01:23:22,729 --> 01:23:24,131
You motherfucker!

1904
01:23:24,131 --> 01:23:25,266
You were gonna keep 900,000
for yourself?

1905
01:23:25,266 --> 01:23:27,468
Not really. I was just...

1906
01:23:28,702 --> 01:23:29,936
Come here!

1907
01:23:29,936 --> 01:23:31,138
I gonna get you!

1908
01:23:31,138 --> 01:23:33,340
That's some shit.

1909
01:23:33,340 --> 01:23:35,976
Now these motherfuckers up
in here better get ready

1910
01:23:35,976 --> 01:23:37,411
For an unholy beat-down

1911
01:23:37,411 --> 01:23:40,447
The likes of which ain't nobody
ever seen.

1912
01:23:40,447 --> 01:23:41,448
Gotcha

1913
01:23:41,448 --> 01:23:42,749
[Groans]

1914
01:23:42,749 --> 01:23:43,850
What you gonna do, bitch?

1915
01:23:43,850 --> 01:23:45,419
[Groans]

1916
01:23:45,419 --> 01:23:48,089
The motherfucking buck stops here.

1917
01:23:48,089 --> 01:23:49,490
[Smash]

1918
01:23:52,025 --> 01:23:53,494
God.

1919
01:23:53,494 --> 01:23:54,728
Whoa.

1920
01:23:56,963 --> 01:23:58,299
Hey, Danny.

1921
01:23:59,766 --> 01:24:01,001
You got a minute?

1922
01:24:01,001 --> 01:24:03,137
Can it wait?

1923
01:24:03,137 --> 01:24:04,405
Mmm...

1924
01:24:04,405 --> 01:24:05,839
I'm trying to do some business
over here.

1925
01:24:05,839 --> 01:24:07,841
Well, it's, um...

1926
01:24:07,841 --> 01:24:10,644
It's kind of important.

1927
01:24:11,912 --> 01:24:14,448
All right.
Make it quick.

1928
01:24:14,448 --> 01:24:18,419
Well, you're my manager, and
as an actor,

1929
01:24:18,419 --> 01:24:20,321
Us actors feel like it's good
to scratch

1930
01:24:20,321 --> 01:24:22,789
Our management's back every
once in while.

1931
01:24:22,789 --> 01:24:24,057
You know what I mean?

1932
01:24:24,057 --> 01:24:25,992
Uh-huh.

1933
01:24:25,992 --> 01:24:27,694
And as your best client,

1934
01:24:27,694 --> 01:24:33,066
I feel like I kind of owe it to you.

1935
01:24:35,602 --> 01:24:38,038
And you know how I roll, baby.

1936
01:24:38,038 --> 01:24:39,906
I'm kind of kinky.

1937
01:24:39,906 --> 01:24:42,276
Mellony, Mellony.
Mmm.

1938
01:24:42,276 --> 01:24:44,478
What did I do to deserve this?

1939
01:24:44,478 --> 01:24:45,279
Turn around.

1940
01:24:45,279 --> 01:24:46,580
[Both laughing]

1941
01:24:46,580 --> 01:24:48,782
Turn around.
Whoa! [Laughing]

1942
01:24:53,287 --> 01:24:55,556
[Moaning]

1943
01:24:55,556 --> 01:24:57,224
Stop it.
Look at this!

1944
01:24:57,224 --> 01:24:58,759
You see that?

1945
01:24:58,759 --> 01:25:00,227
That's called a contract, baby.

1946
01:25:00,227 --> 01:25:01,662
[Muffled shouting]

1947
01:25:01,662 --> 01:25:02,696
A contract...

1948
01:25:02,696 --> 01:25:04,097
One of those little bitty things

1949
01:25:04,097 --> 01:25:06,032
That you could never get me,
seven years.

1950
01:25:06,032 --> 01:25:07,301
In seven years,

1951
01:25:07,301 --> 01:25:08,902
You couldn't get me one of
those things.

1952
01:25:08,902 --> 01:25:11,472
And I just wanted you to
look at all those zeroes

1953
01:25:11,472 --> 01:25:13,240
That are going to be all mine.

1954
01:25:13,240 --> 01:25:14,241
[Muffled] That's mine!

1955
01:25:14,241 --> 01:25:15,542
And none of yours!

1956
01:25:15,542 --> 01:25:16,643
Stop it!

1957
01:25:16,643 --> 01:25:18,212
[Groans]
Uh-huh.

1958
01:25:18,212 --> 01:25:19,980
Oh, and guess what, Danny?

1959
01:25:19,980 --> 01:25:22,115
You're fired. Uh-huh.

1960
01:25:22,115 --> 01:25:24,050
You're fired, and I never want to

1961
01:25:24,050 --> 01:25:26,187
Ever, ever, ever see you ever again.

1962
01:25:26,187 --> 01:25:27,788
[Shouts]
Shut up!

1963
01:25:27,788 --> 01:25:29,623
Listen to me.

1964
01:25:29,623 --> 01:25:31,358
I should leave you with a
little something,

1965
01:25:31,358 --> 01:25:32,659
Though, shouldn't I?

1966
01:25:32,659 --> 01:25:34,361
I'm gonna give you something
before I leave

1967
01:25:34,361 --> 01:25:35,996
Just so you remember me by, okay?

1968
01:25:35,996 --> 01:25:38,098
[Moans]

1969
01:25:38,098 --> 01:25:39,633
So you just stay there,

1970
01:25:39,633 --> 01:25:41,468
And I'm gonna give you
something to remember me.

1971
01:25:41,468 --> 01:25:43,737
It'll be real good, okay?

1972
01:25:43,737 --> 01:25:45,239
Stay down.

1973
01:25:45,239 --> 01:25:46,473
Fuck you!

1974
01:25:46,473 --> 01:25:48,742
You feel that! Uh-huh!

1975
01:25:48,742 --> 01:25:51,011
Yeah, it feels good, right, baby?

1976
01:25:51,011 --> 01:25:53,214
Yeah!

1977
01:25:57,884 --> 01:25:59,686
Sorry I'm late for raid.

1978
01:25:59,686 --> 01:26:01,688
Who said you were welcome?

1979
01:26:01,688 --> 01:26:03,357
Yo. What up, sexy?

1980
01:26:03,357 --> 01:26:04,558
Don't call me that anymore.

1981
01:26:04,558 --> 01:26:06,092
The guys kicked me out of the frat

1982
01:26:06,092 --> 01:26:08,495
As soon as our videos got taken down.

1983
01:26:08,495 --> 01:26:09,896
So what?

1984
01:26:09,896 --> 01:26:12,433
I figured I would bring you
this from the P.O. Box.

1985
01:26:14,835 --> 01:26:16,370
Ahem.

1986
01:26:16,370 --> 01:26:18,171
"Ed is the grossest guy I've
ever slept with,

1987
01:26:18,171 --> 01:26:19,573
"Rock bottom...

1988
01:26:19,573 --> 01:26:21,575
What was I thinking fucking that guy?"

1989
01:26:21,575 --> 01:26:22,843
Yeah, I already know all this stuff.

1990
01:26:22,843 --> 01:26:23,844
Skip to the end.

1991
01:26:26,112 --> 01:26:28,582
"This letter is to inform you
that Danny Silver

1992
01:26:28,582 --> 01:26:29,983
"And all parties have been arrested

1993
01:26:29,983 --> 01:26:31,985
"On extortion charges, among
other things.

1994
01:26:31,985 --> 01:26:34,921
"And to inform you that
the estate of Mellony Adams

1995
01:26:34,921 --> 01:26:36,457
"Is dropping all charges.

1996
01:26:36,457 --> 01:26:39,493
All money you made is yours to keep"?

1997
01:26:39,493 --> 01:26:40,527
Yep.

1998
01:26:40,527 --> 01:26:42,195
Holy shit. We get to keep all
that money?

1999
01:26:42,195 --> 01:26:44,831
Oh, shit.

2000
01:26:44,831 --> 01:26:46,333
I'm sorry I betrayed the clan, brother.

2001
01:26:46,333 --> 01:26:49,270
I promise I will never be in
the wrong again.

2002
01:26:52,005 --> 01:26:54,408
[Speaking fantasy language]

2003
01:26:58,679 --> 01:26:59,680
Hey.

2004
01:27:02,483 --> 01:27:05,185
Um, I saw your pay-per-view.

2005
01:27:05,185 --> 01:27:07,654
Look, I'm sorry.

2006
01:27:07,654 --> 01:27:09,890
Just kiss me.

2007
01:27:11,758 --> 01:27:15,496
Um, I think it's about time
I gave you a real kiss.

2008
01:27:17,230 --> 01:27:18,665
[Laughs]

2009
01:27:18,665 --> 01:27:22,035
[Both panting]

2010
01:27:22,035 --> 01:27:23,236
Oh, yeah.

2011
01:27:23,236 --> 01:27:24,738
I'm sorry I made you wait for
so long.

2012
01:27:24,738 --> 01:27:26,573
Oh, I'm sorry for pressuring
you so much.