1 00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:05,758 Justin: I'VE GIVEN UP THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE 2 00:00:05,758 --> 00:00:08,689 TO ADDICTION AND ILLNESS. 3 00:00:08,689 --> 00:00:10,655 AT THIS POINT, I'M KILLING MYSELF. 4 00:00:10,655 --> 00:00:17,172 ♪♪ 5 00:00:17,172 --> 00:00:18,344 Woman: HE CAN'T STOP. 6 00:00:18,344 --> 00:00:19,827 HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW. 7 00:00:19,827 --> 00:00:22,758 Woman #2: IT'S TERRIFYING TO THINK THAT AT ANY MOMENT 8 00:00:22,758 --> 00:00:24,448 YOUR HEART COULD EXPLODE. 9 00:00:24,448 --> 00:00:29,931 ♪♪ 10 00:00:29,931 --> 00:00:35,448 ♪♪ 11 00:00:35,448 --> 00:00:37,724 Woman #3: I DON'T WANT TO DIE. 12 00:00:37,724 --> 00:00:39,724 I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO LIVE YET. 13 00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:46,172 WHY ARE YOU JUMPING ON MY CASE? 14 00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:49,724 YOU'RE OVEREATING AND YOU ACT LIKE IT IS OUR FAULT. 15 00:00:49,724 --> 00:00:51,344 I KNOW THAT I'M DYING. 16 00:00:51,344 --> 00:00:53,517 I KNOW THAT I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT. 17 00:00:58,103 --> 00:01:01,034 I WOULD NEVER HAVE JUST UP AND LEFT, JUSTIN. 18 00:01:01,034 --> 00:01:03,103 BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU DO. 19 00:01:03,103 --> 00:01:04,827 THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE. 20 00:01:04,827 --> 00:01:07,827 --Captions by VITAC-- www.vitac.com 21 00:01:07,827 --> 00:01:10,793 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 22 00:01:10,793 --> 00:01:18,241 ♪♪ 23 00:01:18,241 --> 00:01:25,655 ♪♪ 24 00:01:25,655 --> 00:01:33,103 ♪♪ 25 00:01:33,103 --> 00:01:34,517 Justin: WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, 26 00:01:34,517 --> 00:01:37,551 I'M IN DISBELIEF AT HOW BAD I'VE LET THINGS GET 27 00:01:37,551 --> 00:01:42,689 BECAUSE OF HOW OUT OF CONTROL MY WEIGHT'S GOTTEN. 28 00:01:42,689 --> 00:01:44,310 I'VE GOTTEN SO BIG NOW, 29 00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:47,862 DOING JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING IS DIFFICULT. 30 00:01:47,862 --> 00:01:51,034 EVERY DAY IT GETS HARDER TO MOVE, HARDER TO STAND, 31 00:01:51,034 --> 00:01:53,206 HARDER TO WALK, AND HARDER TO BREATHE. 32 00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:57,655 SO IT TAKES JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING IN ME 33 00:01:57,655 --> 00:02:00,827 TO FINALLY CONVINCE MYSELF TO GET UP 34 00:02:00,827 --> 00:02:03,034 BECAUSE I KNOW HOW BAD IT'S GOING TO BE. 35 00:02:06,896 --> 00:02:11,689 BUT IT'S A STRUGGLE, AND I HAVE A LOT OF ANXIETY. 36 00:02:11,689 --> 00:02:13,965 SO WHEN THAT FIRST WAVE OF PAIN HITS ME, 37 00:02:13,965 --> 00:02:17,482 I START TO PANIC A LITTLE BECAUSE MY MIND STARTS RACING 38 00:02:17,482 --> 00:02:20,793 WITH ALL THE THINGS THAT CAN GO WRONG. 39 00:02:20,793 --> 00:02:22,965 SO MY LIFE JUST FEELS LIKE A CONSTANT BATTLE 40 00:02:22,965 --> 00:02:25,241 TO DO EVEN THE SIMPLEST THINGS NOW. 41 00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:29,931 AND IT MAKES ME FEEL A LOT OF SHAME BECAUSE I KNOW 42 00:02:29,931 --> 00:02:32,068 I'M THE ONLY ONE TO BLAME FOR THAT. 43 00:02:34,137 --> 00:02:36,034 SO WHEN I GO IN THE BATHROOM, 44 00:02:36,034 --> 00:02:40,068 I DO EVERYTHING I CAN NOT TO LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR 45 00:02:40,068 --> 00:02:43,793 BECAUSE WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR, I SEE A MISTAKE, 46 00:02:43,793 --> 00:02:46,586 AND SOMEONE WHO'S DESTROYED HIS LIFE FOR FOOD 47 00:02:46,586 --> 00:02:50,862 BY BECOMING ONE OF THE LARGEST PEOPLE ALIVE. 48 00:02:50,862 --> 00:02:57,448 SO SEEING IT IS EVEN WORSE THAN FEELING IT AT TIMES. 49 00:02:57,448 --> 00:03:03,344 ♪♪ 50 00:03:03,344 --> 00:03:05,689 AND ONE OF THE HARDEST AND SCARIEST PARTS OF MY DAY 51 00:03:05,689 --> 00:03:08,655 IS SHOWERING BECAUSE I LIVE ALONE 52 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:12,034 AND THE ONLY PERSON WHO CHECKS ON ME IS MY MOM. 53 00:03:12,034 --> 00:03:13,896 SO IF SOMETHING HAPPENS AND I FALL, 54 00:03:13,896 --> 00:03:16,827 I KNOW THAT IT'S GOING TO BE REALLY BAD. 55 00:03:16,827 --> 00:03:18,275 AND AT MY SIZE, 56 00:03:18,275 --> 00:03:21,000 FALLING WOULD CAUSE SOME SERIOUS DAMAGE TO MY BODY. 57 00:03:23,724 --> 00:03:28,379 I KNOW I'M ONE MISSTEP FROM NOT ONLY BEING TRAPPED IN MY BODY, 58 00:03:28,379 --> 00:03:34,655 BUT BEING TRAPPED IN MY BED RELYING ON SOMEBODY ELSE. 59 00:03:34,655 --> 00:03:36,689 I DON'T WANT TO LET MYSELF GET TO THE POINT 60 00:03:36,689 --> 00:03:40,620 WHERE I STOP KEEPING UP WITH MY BASIC HYGIENE. 61 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,655 BUT I KNOW I'M GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE SOON, 62 00:03:42,655 --> 00:03:44,965 ALL THIS WILL BE TOO MUCH FOR ME, 63 00:03:44,965 --> 00:03:48,068 AND I'LL BE TOO BIG TO GET UP AND DO ANYTHING 64 00:03:48,068 --> 00:03:52,068 ALL BECAUSE I WON'T STOP EATING. 65 00:03:52,068 --> 00:03:54,724 THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT I DO ALL DAY LONG NOW. 66 00:03:57,241 --> 00:03:59,206 I HAVE MY FOOD SET UP FOR DELIVERY 67 00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:01,034 AT DIFFERENT TIMES OF THE DAY, 68 00:04:01,034 --> 00:04:04,241 SO I ALWAYS HAVE WHAT I NEED, AND I NEVER HAVE TO GO OUT 69 00:04:04,241 --> 00:04:06,655 BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE TO EVER GO OUT. 70 00:04:06,655 --> 00:04:08,413 AND WHAT I DO IS STAY HERE AND EAT. 71 00:04:08,413 --> 00:04:09,586 HOW YOU DOING? -I'M ALL RIGHT. 72 00:04:09,586 --> 00:04:11,517 HOW ARE YOU? YOU GOT IT? 73 00:04:11,517 --> 00:04:13,103 YES. 74 00:04:13,103 --> 00:04:15,172 AND A LOT OF DAYS, THE ONLY PEOPLE I'LL SEE 75 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,689 OR TALK TO ARE THE DELIVERY PEOPLE. 76 00:04:17,689 --> 00:04:22,724 ♪♪ 77 00:04:22,724 --> 00:04:27,793 ♪♪ 78 00:04:27,793 --> 00:04:30,689 BUT THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE HAS COME TO, 79 00:04:30,689 --> 00:04:33,000 AND DOING NORMAL THINGS AND HAVING A NORMAL DAY 80 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:38,000 IS JUST NOT SOMETHING THAT'S POSSIBLE FOR ME ANYMORE. 81 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:43,068 SO I JUST EAT BECAUSE FOOD ALWAYS MAKES ME HAPPY. 82 00:04:43,068 --> 00:04:45,137 IT HELPS ME FORGET ABOUT ALL THE DISGUST 83 00:04:45,137 --> 00:04:47,137 AND FEAR AND PAIN IN MY LIFE, 84 00:04:47,137 --> 00:04:49,482 AND IT'S LIKE IT TRANSPORTS ME TO THIS BETTER PLACE 85 00:04:49,482 --> 00:04:52,862 JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE, AND EVERYTHING IS GOOD. 86 00:04:57,655 --> 00:05:00,000 BUT IT'S ONLY AS LONG AS I'M EATING, 87 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,827 SO I DON'T REALLY EVER WANT TO STOP, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, 88 00:05:03,827 --> 00:05:07,448 I KNOW FOOD IS WHY MY LIFE IS LIKE THIS. 89 00:05:07,448 --> 00:05:10,793 AND THE MORE I EAT, THE WORSE IT GETS, 90 00:05:10,793 --> 00:05:12,689 AND I KNOW THAT. 91 00:05:12,689 --> 00:05:16,620 AS I'M EATING, THERE'S LIKE THIS INTERNAL MONOLOGUE OF, 92 00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,137 "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? 93 00:05:18,137 --> 00:05:20,620 YOU DON'T NEED THIS. 94 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,758 THIS ISN'T GOOD FOR YOU. 95 00:05:22,758 --> 00:05:25,586 PUT IT DOWN. STOP." 96 00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:29,241 BUT EVEN THOUGH I'M THINKING ALL THOSE THINGS 97 00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:32,344 AND I KNOW THOSE THINGS, 98 00:05:32,344 --> 00:05:37,517 IT'S LIKE IT'S A SEPARATE PART OF ME THAT'S SAYING THAT. 99 00:05:37,517 --> 00:05:41,517 AND THE PART OF ME THAT WANTS TO ESCAPE ALWAYS WINS OUT, 100 00:05:41,517 --> 00:05:43,689 AND IT HAS FOR A VERY LONG TIME. 101 00:05:43,689 --> 00:05:48,724 ♪♪ 102 00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:51,034 MY ISSUE WITH FOOD STARTED REALLY YOUNG 103 00:05:51,034 --> 00:05:53,275 BECAUSE MY EARLY CHILDHOOD WAS HARD. 104 00:05:53,275 --> 00:05:55,172 I DIDN'T FULLY REALIZE IT AT THE TIME, 105 00:05:55,172 --> 00:05:57,620 BUT MY MOM DEVELOPED A DRUG PROBLEM. 106 00:06:00,241 --> 00:06:03,586 SHE HURT HER BACK AND WITH THAT GOT ADDICTED TO PAINKILLERS. 107 00:06:03,586 --> 00:06:05,137 AND WHEN THEY STOPPED HER PRESCRIPTION, 108 00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:09,103 SHE EVENTUALLY STARTED GOING TO HARDER STUFF LIKE HEROIN. 109 00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:10,482 BUT AS A CHILD, ALL I KNEW 110 00:06:10,482 --> 00:06:13,275 WAS THAT MY MOM STARTED TO BECOME UNRELIABLE, 111 00:06:13,275 --> 00:06:17,482 AND SHE WOULD EVEN JUST VANISH FOR PERIODS OF TIME. 112 00:06:17,482 --> 00:06:19,655 SO I REMEMBER EVERYTHING FELT UNCERTAIN, 113 00:06:19,655 --> 00:06:21,724 AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN WITH HER, 114 00:06:21,724 --> 00:06:23,689 OR WHETHER SHE'D EVEN BE AROUND. 115 00:06:25,758 --> 00:06:27,310 AND THAT AFFECTED MY FATHER, TOO, 116 00:06:27,310 --> 00:06:30,517 BECAUSE HE HAD TO WORK AND TAKE CARE OF ME. 117 00:06:30,517 --> 00:06:33,137 SO WHEN I WAS AROUND 4, HE DECIDED TO LEAVE HER, 118 00:06:33,137 --> 00:06:35,862 AND HE GOT FULL CUSTODY OF ME. 119 00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,586 I WAS DRIVING TRUCKS OVER THE ROAD, 120 00:06:37,586 --> 00:06:41,000 AND I WAS AWARDED CUSTODY. 121 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,310 AND HIS MOTHER WOULD SAY, 122 00:06:42,310 --> 00:06:44,655 "WELL, I'LL BE THERE TO PICK YOU UP THIS WEEKEND," 123 00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:48,137 AND THE POOR KID WOULD GET READY TWO DAYS IN ADVANCE, 124 00:06:48,137 --> 00:06:51,275 AND SHE WOULD NOT SHOW. 125 00:06:51,275 --> 00:06:53,448 Justin: SO FOR A WHILE IT WAS JUST ME AND MY DAD, 126 00:06:53,448 --> 00:06:55,103 BUT HE GOT REMARRIED WHEN I WAS 5, 127 00:06:55,103 --> 00:06:57,413 AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, MY WHOLE WORLD CHANGED 128 00:06:57,413 --> 00:06:58,655 AND I HAD THIS NEW FAMILY 129 00:06:58,655 --> 00:07:01,344 I DIDN'T REALLY FEEL LIKE I FIT IN. 130 00:07:01,344 --> 00:07:04,310 I HAD A STEPSISTER AND A HALF SISTER, 131 00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:08,034 AND MY STEPMOM WAS GENERALLY THE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD 132 00:07:08,034 --> 00:07:11,275 WHILE MY DAD WAS WORKING A LOT. 133 00:07:11,275 --> 00:07:14,068 IT SORT OF MADE ME LIKE THE TEXTBOOK DEFINITION 134 00:07:14,068 --> 00:07:15,793 OF THE "RED-HEADED STEPCHILD." 135 00:07:15,793 --> 00:07:21,103 I ALWAYS KNEW THAT I WAS THE ONE WHO WASN'T WANTED. 136 00:07:21,103 --> 00:07:24,206 SO I SPENT MOST OF MY TIME IN MY ROOM ALONE. 137 00:07:24,206 --> 00:07:25,586 BUT WHEN I WAS AROUND 10, 138 00:07:25,586 --> 00:07:27,931 MY MOM STARTED TO COME BACK INTO MY LIFE. 139 00:07:27,931 --> 00:07:29,793 SHE WAS TRYING TO GET CLEAN, SO FOR A WHILE, 140 00:07:29,793 --> 00:07:31,724 SHE BECAME RELIABLE. 141 00:07:31,724 --> 00:07:33,103 AND SHE STARTED TO COME TO VISIT ME 142 00:07:33,103 --> 00:07:34,931 AND TAKE ME FOR WEEKENDS, 143 00:07:34,931 --> 00:07:38,551 AND THAT WAS A REALLY HAPPY TIME FOR ME. 144 00:07:38,551 --> 00:07:43,586 AND MY MOM HAD A COUPLE OF SORT OF ROUTINES WITH ME. 145 00:07:43,586 --> 00:07:46,241 SHE WOULD PICK ME UP ON THE WEEKEND 146 00:07:46,241 --> 00:07:47,862 AND WE'D ALWAYS PICK UP A PIZZA, 147 00:07:47,862 --> 00:07:53,344 AND THEN GO PICK UP A MOVIE FROM THE LOCAL MOVIE RENTAL PLACE. 148 00:07:53,344 --> 00:07:56,689 AND WE'D HAVE PIZZA THAT NIGHT, AND WE'D WATCH THAT MOVIE, 149 00:07:56,689 --> 00:08:00,827 AND IT FELT LIKE SOMETHING THAT I COULD COUNT ON. 150 00:08:00,827 --> 00:08:03,827 SO ALL WEEK, I WOULD LOOK FORWARD TO MY WEEKENDS WITH HER 151 00:08:03,827 --> 00:08:05,862 WHERE I FELT WANTED AND LOVED. 152 00:08:05,862 --> 00:08:11,137 AND WHEN I WAS WITH HER, MY MOM ALWAYS FED ME SOMETHING GOOD. 153 00:08:11,137 --> 00:08:14,758 TO THIS DAY, JUSTIN STILL LOVES MY SAUSAGE GRAVY. 154 00:08:14,758 --> 00:08:19,137 AND WHEN I VISIT, HE WANTS -- HE WANTS ME TO MAKE IT FOR HIM. 155 00:08:19,137 --> 00:08:22,103 THAT'S ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS HE WANTS ME TO MAKE. 156 00:08:22,103 --> 00:08:24,137 Justin: MY MOM WOULD JUST CONSTANTLY FEED ME, 157 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,862 SO THAT'S WHEN FOOD BECAME SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF MY LIFE 158 00:08:26,862 --> 00:08:30,551 BECAUSE IT STARTED TO BECOME ASSOCIATED WITH BEING WITH HER. 159 00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,034 AND THE TIME THAT I GAINED THE MOST 160 00:08:32,034 --> 00:08:36,827 WAS WHEN I STAYED WITH HER FOR A WHILE DURING THE SUMMER. 161 00:08:36,827 --> 00:08:41,482 FIRST TIME THAT JUSTIN'S WEIGHT GAIN WAS THAT BLATANT TO ME, 162 00:08:41,482 --> 00:08:45,034 HE WAS WITH HIS MOTHER FOR LIKE FOUR WEEKS. 163 00:08:45,034 --> 00:08:49,172 AND THEN WHEN HE CAME IN THE DOOR, I WAS STARTLED. 164 00:08:49,172 --> 00:08:54,620 IT WAS LIKE HE PUT ON 30 POUNDS IN FOUR WEEKS. 165 00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:56,517 Justin: I KNEW MY WEIGHT GAIN WAS GETTING BAD EVEN THEN, 166 00:08:56,517 --> 00:08:58,034 BUT I DIDN'T CARE. 167 00:08:58,034 --> 00:09:00,137 ALL THAT I CARED ABOUT WAS THAT I WAS WITH MY MOM 168 00:09:00,137 --> 00:09:01,758 AND I FELT LOVED. 169 00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:05,241 SO IT NOT ONLY CONTINUED, BUT IT GOT WORSE THE FOLLOWING YEAR 170 00:09:05,241 --> 00:09:08,310 BECAUSE AFTER A YEAR AND A HALF OF BEING STABLE IN MY LIFE, 171 00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:11,034 MY MOM STARTED TO STRUGGLE WITH FALLING BACK INTO OLD HABITS 172 00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:14,379 AND DOING DRUGS AGAIN. 173 00:09:14,379 --> 00:09:18,137 BECAUSE I STRUGGLED WITH MY ADDICTIONS FOR A LONG TIME 174 00:09:18,137 --> 00:09:21,896 AND I FELL BACK AND I MOVED FORWARD 175 00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:23,827 AND I FELL BACK AND I MOVED FORWARD, 176 00:09:23,827 --> 00:09:26,000 AND JUSTIN NEVER KNEW WHETHER HE COULD COUNT ON ME, 177 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,172 WHETHER HE COULD TRUST ME BECAUSE I WAS GONNA DISAPPEAR 178 00:09:29,172 --> 00:09:33,275 AND LET HIM DOWN AGAIN LIKE I HAD DONE SO MANY TIMES BEFORE. 179 00:09:36,137 --> 00:09:39,379 Justin: WHEN MY MOM VANISHED AGAIN, I WAS DEVASTATED, 180 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,586 AND I FELT SO ALONE. 181 00:09:41,586 --> 00:09:44,965 MY DAD WAS STILL ON THE ROAD ALMOST ALL THE TIME STILL, 182 00:09:44,965 --> 00:09:50,586 SO THE ONLY TIME THAT I REALLY FELT SAFE WAS WHEN I WAS EATING. 183 00:09:50,586 --> 00:09:54,103 AND I GOT UP TO AROUND 200 POUNDS WHEN I WAS 14. 184 00:09:54,103 --> 00:09:58,724 SO I WAS PUTTING ON A LOT IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. 185 00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,896 AND I FEEL LIKE MY STEPMOM ONLY MADE IT WORSE 186 00:10:00,896 --> 00:10:02,931 BECAUSE WHEN SHE NOTICED I WAS GETTING A LOT BIGGER, 187 00:10:02,931 --> 00:10:05,172 SHE TRIED TO CUT OFF MY FOOD TO STOP ME. 188 00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:07,965 AND THAT MADE ME ONLY WANT TO EAT EVEN MORE. 189 00:10:07,965 --> 00:10:10,379 SO MY WEIGHT GAIN DIDN'T SLOW THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL 190 00:10:10,379 --> 00:10:13,275 AND INTO COLLEGE. 191 00:10:13,275 --> 00:10:18,448 AND WHEN I WAS 18, I WAS AROUND 320 TO 330 POUNDS. 192 00:10:18,448 --> 00:10:19,793 WHEN I WENT OFF TO COLLEGE, 193 00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:22,241 MY WEIGHT CONTINUED TO SPIRAL OUT OF CONTROL 194 00:10:22,241 --> 00:10:25,103 BECAUSE AT THAT POINT, I WAS AWAY FROM MY STEPMOM 195 00:10:25,103 --> 00:10:28,620 SO THERE WAS NO ONE EVEN TRYING TO STOP ME FROM EATING. 196 00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:32,620 SO I STARTED GAINING ABOUT 50 POUNDS EVERY YEAR, 197 00:10:32,620 --> 00:10:37,379 AND I KNEW THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG, 198 00:10:37,379 --> 00:10:40,034 AND I STARTED GETTING WORRIED 199 00:10:40,034 --> 00:10:43,000 I WASN'T GONNA BE ABLE TO GRADUATE COLLEGE. 200 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,000 THANKFULLY, I WAS ABLE TO, JUST BARELY, 201 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,000 BUT I WAS CLOSE TO AROUND 550 WHEN I DID. 202 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,206 BUT BEING THAT BIG AT 22, I WASN'T ABLE TO GO OUT 203 00:10:51,206 --> 00:10:53,068 AND GET A TRADITIONAL JOB IN AN OFFICE 204 00:10:53,068 --> 00:10:55,931 BECAUSE I WAS TOO BIG FOR THAT. 205 00:10:55,931 --> 00:10:57,827 BUT THANKFULLY, I WAS ABLE TO START A CAREER 206 00:10:57,827 --> 00:10:59,448 THAT LET ME WORK FROM HOME. 207 00:10:59,448 --> 00:11:03,034 I BECAME A WEB DESIGNER AND DID A LOT OF FREELANCE WORK. 208 00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:05,965 AND I WAS GOOD AT IT SO I MADE GOOD MONEY FOR A WHILE. 209 00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:08,034 I WAS ABLE TO BUY THE HOUSE I LIVE IN NOW 210 00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:10,000 AND TAKE CARE OF MYSELF FOR A WHILE, 211 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,896 BUT I STARTED TO LIVE A RECLUSIVE LIFESTYLE 212 00:11:11,896 --> 00:11:15,000 BEING AT HOME MOST OF THE TIME. 213 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,034 AND TO MAKE IT WORSE, I WAS STILL GAINING THROUGH ALL THIS, 214 00:11:18,034 --> 00:11:20,206 AND IT WAS GETTING EVEN HARD TO DO SIMPLE THINGS 215 00:11:20,206 --> 00:11:21,655 AND GO OUT AT ALL. 216 00:11:21,655 --> 00:11:23,517 AND I STARTED TO HAVE A LOT OF ANXIETY, 217 00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:26,310 AND I GOT REALLY DEPRESSED. 218 00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:29,689 AND WHEN IT GOT REALLY BAD WAS WHEN I WAS 26. 219 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:33,586 I WAS 600 POUNDS, AND I WASN'T LEAVING THE HOME 220 00:11:33,586 --> 00:11:35,793 UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. 221 00:11:35,793 --> 00:11:38,586 I ORDERED EVERYTHING I NEEDED ONLINE. 222 00:11:38,586 --> 00:11:41,586 I WAS STARTING TO COME UP WITH EXCUSES 223 00:11:41,586 --> 00:11:44,275 TO NOT SPEND TIME WITH MY FRIENDS. 224 00:11:44,275 --> 00:11:47,551 BUT ONE DAY, I HAD TO LEAVE MY HOUSE AND GO OUT FOR WORK, 225 00:11:47,551 --> 00:11:49,758 AND I STARTED TO FEEL MY CHEST TIGHTENING, 226 00:11:49,758 --> 00:11:52,482 AND I COULDN'T BREATHE, SO I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL 227 00:11:52,482 --> 00:11:55,172 FOR WHAT I THOUGHT WAS A HEART ATTACK. 228 00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:57,793 IT TURNED OUT TO JUST BE A PANIC ATTACK 229 00:11:57,793 --> 00:11:59,448 THAT WAS ASSOCIATED WITH MY ANXIETY, 230 00:11:59,448 --> 00:12:06,482 BUT IT WAS MORE THAN ENOUGH TO SHOW ME WHAT COULD HAPPEN. 231 00:12:06,482 --> 00:12:09,034 BUT THEY GOT MY WEIGHT WHEN I WAS THERE IN THE HOSPITAL, 232 00:12:09,034 --> 00:12:14,137 AND I WAS OVER 600 POUNDS, AND I DIDN'T REALLY BELIEVE IT. 233 00:12:14,137 --> 00:12:18,275 I THOUGHT THAT THE SCALE MUST HAVE BEEN WRONG. 234 00:12:18,275 --> 00:12:20,103 I HAD JUST HAD A HARD TIME ACCEPTING 235 00:12:20,103 --> 00:12:22,379 THAT I HAD LET IT ALL GET THIS BAD 236 00:12:22,379 --> 00:12:23,724 AND THAT I WAS AT A POINT NOW 237 00:12:23,724 --> 00:12:26,206 WHERE I WAS NOT ONLY HAVING TROUBLE FUNCTIONING 238 00:12:26,206 --> 00:12:28,448 AND DOING WHAT I NEEDED, 239 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:32,034 BUT I WAS ALSO HAVING DEBILITATING ANXIETY ABOUT IT. 240 00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:38,689 AND MY FEARS OF LEAVING THE HOUSE ALL REVOLVE 241 00:12:38,689 --> 00:12:43,896 AROUND WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I GOT INTO AN ACCIDENT 242 00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:46,413 AND THEY COULDN'T GET ME OUT OF THE CAR, 243 00:12:46,413 --> 00:12:50,172 OR IF I DIDN'T FIT IN THE PLACE THAT I EVENTUALLY WENT, 244 00:12:50,172 --> 00:12:53,275 OR IF THERE WASN'T A PARKING SPACE CLOSE ENOUGH. 245 00:12:53,275 --> 00:12:55,482 SO I HAD THIS FEAR OF GOING ANYWHERE, 246 00:12:55,482 --> 00:12:59,862 AND MY ANXIETY ABOUT ALL OF THAT CONTINUED TO GET WORSE. 247 00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:02,310 BUT A FEW YEARS BACK, I FOUND A THERAPIST WHO WOULD TRY 248 00:13:02,310 --> 00:13:04,689 AND HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON. 249 00:13:04,689 --> 00:13:07,482 AND SHE DIAGNOSED ME WITH AGORAPHOBIA. 250 00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:12,724 AGORAPHOBIA IS THIS REALLY POWERFUL DREAD 251 00:13:12,724 --> 00:13:16,379 THAT SOMETHING IS GOING TO GO WRONG 252 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:20,620 AND I'M GOING TO BE COMPLETELY HELPLESS. 253 00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:22,068 AND THAT COMBINED WITH MY WEIGHT 254 00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:24,448 HAS ALMOST MADE ME A COMPLETE SHUT IN NOW. 255 00:13:27,172 --> 00:13:28,379 I DON'T THINK ANYBODY THINKS THEIR LIFE 256 00:13:28,379 --> 00:13:31,068 IS GONNA END UP LIKE THIS. 257 00:13:31,068 --> 00:13:35,000 THIS IS NOT AT ALL WHAT I HAD PLANNED. 258 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,137 I'VE GIVEN UP THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE 259 00:13:37,137 --> 00:13:40,620 TO ADDICTION AND ILLNESS, 260 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:44,241 AND I'M ASHAMED OF THAT. 261 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:48,172 I'VE HAD TO COMPLETELY QUIT WORK AND GO ON DISABILITY. 262 00:13:48,172 --> 00:13:51,206 AND THE DAY I HAD TO STOP WORKING, IT WAS THE FIRST TIME 263 00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:53,931 I REALLY FELT LIKE I WAS WASTING MY LIFE. 264 00:13:53,931 --> 00:13:57,206 AND SINCE THEN, IT'S FELT LIKE 265 00:13:57,206 --> 00:14:00,827 I'M COMPLETELY WORTHLESS AND USELESS. 266 00:14:00,827 --> 00:14:08,379 ♪♪ 267 00:14:08,379 --> 00:14:11,896 I'M 28 NOW AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY WEIGHT'S AT. 268 00:14:11,896 --> 00:14:14,517 I JUST KNOW IT'S GETTING WORSE THAN EVER. 269 00:14:14,517 --> 00:14:17,275 AND THE ONLY REASON I HAVEN'T BECOME A COMPLETE SHUT IN 270 00:14:17,275 --> 00:14:20,586 IS THAT MY MOM HAS RECENTLY COME BACK INTO MY LIFE. 271 00:14:20,586 --> 00:14:23,551 SE'S BEEN WORKING HARD TO TRY AND STAY CLEAN AGAIN. 272 00:14:23,551 --> 00:14:26,965 AND NOW SHE COMES OVER EVERY OTHER DAY OR SO TO CHECK ON ME 273 00:14:26,965 --> 00:14:28,965 AND SPEND TIME WITH ME AND FEED ME. 274 00:14:28,965 --> 00:14:30,103 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 275 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,793 [ DOG BARKS ] 276 00:14:35,068 --> 00:14:37,448 WHAT'S GOING ON, BUDDY? 277 00:14:37,448 --> 00:14:40,413 WHO'S HERE? 278 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,137 HEY, MOM. -HEY, HONEY. 279 00:14:42,137 --> 00:14:43,689 HOW ARE YOU? 280 00:14:43,689 --> 00:14:45,103 -PRETTY GOOD. -GOOD. 281 00:14:45,103 --> 00:14:47,137 HI, FINN. I BROUGHT SOME STUFF. 282 00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:49,241 I FIGURED WE'D MAKE SOME SAUSAGE GRAVY, HOW'S THAT SOUND? 283 00:14:49,241 --> 00:14:50,310 YEAH, I'M CLEANING UP RIGHT NOW. 284 00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:52,034 OKAY. 285 00:14:54,965 --> 00:14:57,482 MY FAVORITE MEAL IS STILL HER SAUSAGE GRAVY, 286 00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:59,724 AND SO SHE MAKES THAT FOR ME A LOT. 287 00:15:02,206 --> 00:15:06,137 Tara: WHEN I SAW JUSTIN AGAIN, I WAS BLOWN AWAY. 288 00:15:06,137 --> 00:15:09,551 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT HE HAD GAINED SO MUCH WEIGHT. 289 00:15:09,551 --> 00:15:13,034 AND WHEN I SAW HIM AND HOW LARGE HE WAS, 290 00:15:13,034 --> 00:15:16,034 IT WAS LIKE MY HEART BROKE FOR HIM. 291 00:15:16,034 --> 00:15:17,896 IT JUST ABSOLUTELY BROKE. 292 00:15:21,758 --> 00:15:25,517 Justin: I'M REALLY GLAD TO HAVE MY MOM BACK IN MY LIFE AGAIN. 293 00:15:25,517 --> 00:15:27,344 I STILL TALK TO MY DAD REGULARLY, 294 00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,862 BUT HIM AND MY STEPMOM GOT DIVORCED 295 00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:31,517 WHILE I WAS IN COLLEGE AND HE MOVED TO MYRTLE BEACH, 296 00:15:31,517 --> 00:15:33,758 WHICH IS ABOUT THREE TO FOUR HOURS AWAY, 297 00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:36,793 SO HE'S NOT AROUND, AND I HARDLY EVER SEE HIM. 298 00:15:36,793 --> 00:15:38,344 AND OUTSIDE MY PARENTS, THERE'S NO ONE 299 00:15:38,344 --> 00:15:42,620 I TALK TO OR SEE REGULARLY ANYMORE. 300 00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:46,517 SO IF I DIDN'T HAVE MY MOM NOW, I'D PRETTY MUCH BE ALONE. 301 00:15:46,517 --> 00:15:49,206 AND AT THIS POINT, SHE'S THE ONLY THING HOLDING ME BACK 302 00:15:49,206 --> 00:15:52,655 AND SAVING ME FROM A COMPLETELY RECLUSIVE LIFE. 303 00:15:52,655 --> 00:15:54,965 -YOU ABOUT READY FOR YOURS? -YEAH. 304 00:15:54,965 --> 00:15:56,827 COULD I GET TWO WAFFLES WITH THAT? 305 00:15:56,827 --> 00:15:59,862 -YEAH, SURE. -THANK YOU. 306 00:15:59,862 --> 00:16:01,931 I LOOK FORWARD TO HER VISITS JUST LIKE I DID 307 00:16:01,931 --> 00:16:04,310 WHEN I WAS YOUNG BECAUSE WHEN SHE'S HERE, 308 00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:08,172 I FEEL LOVED AND WANTED JUST LIKE I DID THEN. 309 00:16:08,172 --> 00:16:11,068 AND OUR ROUTINE IS THE SAME AS IT'S ALWAYS BEEN, 310 00:16:11,068 --> 00:16:13,241 SO FOOD IS A BIG PART OF OUR TIME TOGETHER, 311 00:16:13,241 --> 00:16:15,068 AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF THE WAYS 312 00:16:15,068 --> 00:16:17,379 MY MOM SHOWS ME SHE CARES. 313 00:16:17,379 --> 00:16:19,103 AND WHENEVER SHE MAKES ME SOMETHING, 314 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,689 IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY OUT THERE IS WILLING 315 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,413 TO GO OUT OF THEIR WAY FOR ME AND THAT THEY CARE. 316 00:16:24,413 --> 00:16:26,034 YOU WANT SALT AND PEPPER? 317 00:16:26,034 --> 00:16:27,275 -NO, I'M GOOD. -YOU SURE? 318 00:16:27,275 --> 00:16:28,655 -YEAH. -YOU HAVEN'T TASTED IT YET. 319 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:32,172 I SHOULD BE GOOD. THANK YOU. 320 00:16:32,172 --> 00:16:35,344 SO I NEVER WANT THAT TIME AND THAT MEAL TO END. 321 00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:37,172 AND I TRY TO SAVOR IT, 322 00:16:37,172 --> 00:16:38,965 BUT IT'S HARD BECAUSE AT THE SAME TIME, 323 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,551 ALL I WANT IS THAT NEXT BITE. 324 00:16:41,551 --> 00:16:43,241 AND I CAN'T GET ENOUGH. 325 00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:48,068 AND AS LONG AS I HAVE MY MOM AND FOOD, 326 00:16:48,068 --> 00:16:49,827 EVERYTHING IS GOOD. 327 00:16:49,827 --> 00:16:51,310 YEAH, GOOD BOY. 328 00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:54,206 BUT WHEN I'M DONE AND MY MOM HAS TO LEAVE, 329 00:16:54,206 --> 00:16:58,137 IT'S LIKE MY WHOLE LIFE COMES CRASHING BACK DOWN ON ME 330 00:16:58,137 --> 00:17:00,103 AND THE DEPRESSION AND FEAR SETS BACK IN. 331 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,965 IT WAS GOOD. 332 00:17:01,965 --> 00:17:03,689 I KNOW IT WAS. 333 00:17:06,344 --> 00:17:08,551 FINN, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR LITTLE BIT, TOO. 334 00:17:08,551 --> 00:17:10,586 I'M SURE HE DID. 335 00:17:10,586 --> 00:17:12,310 I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE TO HEAD OUT. 336 00:17:16,137 --> 00:17:17,896 -DRIVE SAFE. -I WILL. 337 00:17:21,551 --> 00:17:26,620 ♪♪ 338 00:17:26,620 --> 00:17:29,758 ONE OF MY BIGGEST FEARS NOW IS THAT SHE'LL LEAVE ME AGAIN 339 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:31,241 BECAUSE IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD, 340 00:17:31,241 --> 00:17:33,103 I KNOW THERE'S ALWAYS THAT CHANCE IT COULD END UP 341 00:17:33,103 --> 00:17:34,862 LIKE IN THE PAST WHERE SHE STARTS TO STRUGGLE 342 00:17:34,862 --> 00:17:37,241 WITH OLD HABITS AND VANISHES AGAIN, 343 00:17:37,241 --> 00:17:39,344 AND I'M REALLY SCARED OF THAT 344 00:17:39,344 --> 00:17:43,551 BECAUSE IF THAT HAPPENS, I'D HAVE NO ONE. 345 00:17:43,551 --> 00:17:46,482 SO WHAT I DO TO DEAL WITH THAT AND MAKE ALL THAT GO AWAY 346 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,862 IS I KEEP EATING. 347 00:17:48,862 --> 00:17:51,620 FOOD KEEPS ALL THE PAIN AND MISERY AWAY, 348 00:17:51,620 --> 00:17:53,586 SO I NEVER REALLY STOP. 349 00:17:53,586 --> 00:17:55,620 IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN DEAL WITH IT ALL. 350 00:17:57,724 --> 00:18:00,793 BUT AT THIS POINT, I KNOW I'M KILLING MYSELF WITH FOOD, 351 00:18:00,793 --> 00:18:05,586 AND EVERY BITE I TAKE GETS ME CLOSER TO ENDING MY LIFE. 352 00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:07,413 AND WHAT I FEEL IN MY BODY NOW, 353 00:18:07,413 --> 00:18:09,413 THAT TYPE OF PAIN IS LIKE NOTHING 354 00:18:09,413 --> 00:18:11,827 I'VE FELT BEFORE. 355 00:18:11,827 --> 00:18:13,137 IT'S HARD TO DESCRIBE, 356 00:18:13,137 --> 00:18:16,448 BUT IT'S LIKE EVEN MY BONES HURT AT TIMES. 357 00:18:16,448 --> 00:18:19,000 AND I KNOW IT'S BECAUSE MY BODY IS STARTING TO BREAK DOWN 358 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,931 BECAUSE OF ALL THE WEIGHT I'VE HAD ON IT FOR SO LONG. 359 00:18:21,931 --> 00:18:27,965 ♪♪ 360 00:18:27,965 --> 00:18:29,793 I KNOW I'M NOT GONNA LIVE FOR MUCH LONGER 361 00:18:29,793 --> 00:18:32,137 IF I KEEP DOING THIS. 362 00:18:32,137 --> 00:18:33,931 SO I'M TERRIFIED RIGHT NOW 363 00:18:33,931 --> 00:18:35,310 BECAUSE I KNOW THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE 364 00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:39,758 I COULD GO TO SLEEP ONE NIGHT AND JUST NOT WAKE UP. 365 00:18:39,758 --> 00:18:42,517 BUT WHAT'S EVEN SCARIER TO ME IS THAT THERE ARE DAYS 366 00:18:42,517 --> 00:18:47,379 WHERE I'M STARTING NOT TO CARE IF I DIE BECAUSE IT MEANS 367 00:18:47,379 --> 00:18:49,068 I WON'T HAVE TO FIGHT ANYMORE. 368 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,482 BUT I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP. 369 00:18:54,482 --> 00:19:00,793 I WANT TO LIVE, BUT I KNOW MY BODY'S GONNA BREAK DOWN SOON, 370 00:19:00,793 --> 00:19:02,482 AND I KNOW I'M GONNA DIE. 371 00:19:08,517 --> 00:19:15,310 ♪♪ 372 00:19:15,310 --> 00:19:22,137 ♪♪ 373 00:19:22,137 --> 00:19:24,413 I KNOW I'M AT A POINT NOW WHERE I'VE LET MY WEIGHT 374 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,862 GET SO OUT OF CONTROL 375 00:19:25,862 --> 00:19:28,896 THAT I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE, 376 00:19:28,896 --> 00:19:31,724 SO I'VE DECIDED TO GO TO HOUSTON TO TRY AND SEE DR. NOW 377 00:19:31,724 --> 00:19:33,862 BECAUSE I NEED SOMETHING LIKE WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 378 00:19:33,862 --> 00:19:37,310 AND HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO REALLY HELPS PEOPLE MY SIZE. 379 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:39,655 BUT I'M JUST REALLY SCARED BECAUSE IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME 380 00:19:39,655 --> 00:19:40,862 SINCE I'VE LEFT MY HOUSE 381 00:19:40,862 --> 00:19:43,344 OR TRIED TO DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS. 382 00:19:43,344 --> 00:19:46,931 SO I'M REALLY ANXIOUS AND NERVOUS RIGHT NOW 383 00:19:46,931 --> 00:19:51,137 TO THE POINT WHERE IT'S MAKING PHYSICALLY ILL. 384 00:19:51,137 --> 00:19:53,206 BUT I'M VERY THANKFUL THAT WHEN I TOLD MY MOM 385 00:19:53,206 --> 00:19:54,724 I NEEDED TO DO THIS 386 00:19:54,724 --> 00:19:58,172 THAT SHE SAID SHE'D GO WITH ME AND HELP ME. 387 00:19:58,172 --> 00:19:59,793 -HEY, HON. -HEY. 388 00:19:59,793 --> 00:20:02,517 -YOU ALL PACKED UP? -I THINK SO. 389 00:20:02,517 --> 00:20:04,862 I DON'T KNOW, I HAVEN'T TAKEN A TRIP LIKE THIS IN A LONG TIME, 390 00:20:04,862 --> 00:20:06,896 SO I'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE OF EVERYTHING THAT I NEED, 391 00:20:06,896 --> 00:20:08,206 BUT I THINK I HAVE IT ALL. 392 00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:10,482 AT LEAST IT'S ONLY FOR A COUPLE DAYS. 393 00:20:10,482 --> 00:20:12,206 IT WON'T BE THAT BAD. 394 00:20:12,206 --> 00:20:13,551 JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS. 395 00:20:13,551 --> 00:20:16,482 KIND OF WANT TO JUST GET IT DONE. 396 00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,586 YOU NERVOUS ABOUT BEING ON THE PLANE? 397 00:20:18,586 --> 00:20:21,137 NOT SO MUCH FLYING JUST THE PEOPLE ON THE PLANE. 398 00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,724 YEAH. 399 00:20:22,724 --> 00:20:24,310 WELL, WHAT THEY SAY, WHAT THEY DO, 400 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:25,793 IT DOESN'T MATTER. 401 00:20:25,793 --> 00:20:27,551 YEAH. 402 00:20:27,551 --> 00:20:29,827 IT'S JUST A LONG TRIP, 403 00:20:29,827 --> 00:20:32,517 SOMETHING I HAVEN'T DONE IN A LONG TIME. 404 00:20:32,517 --> 00:20:33,655 YEAH. 405 00:20:33,655 --> 00:20:34,896 LET'S GO. 406 00:20:34,896 --> 00:20:36,862 ALL RIGHT. LET ME GRAB MY BAGS AND GET THEM OUT. 407 00:20:39,068 --> 00:20:40,551 Tara: FOR JUSTIN TO TAKE THIS STEP, 408 00:20:40,551 --> 00:20:43,724 IT MEANS EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD TO ME. 409 00:20:43,724 --> 00:20:45,724 I'M HERE TO KEEP HIS SPIRITS UP. 410 00:20:45,724 --> 00:20:49,275 I'M HERE TO BE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT I CAN BE 411 00:20:49,275 --> 00:20:50,827 BECAUSE I THINK THIS IS THE ONLY WAY 412 00:20:50,827 --> 00:20:53,310 THAT HE'S GOING TO BE ABLE TO FIND HELP. 413 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,379 Justin: FLYING OUT TO MEET DR. NOW 414 00:20:58,379 --> 00:21:01,379 IS JUST GUT WRENCHING AT THIS POINT. 415 00:21:01,379 --> 00:21:07,689 I'M SO NOT USED TO BEING OUT IN A PUBLIC PLACE LIKE AN AIRPORT. 416 00:21:07,689 --> 00:21:09,310 BUT THE WAY I'M TRYING TO LOOK AT THIS IS 417 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,931 I'M ON A MISSION TO SAVE MY LIFE, 418 00:21:11,931 --> 00:21:13,896 AND I NEED TO DO AND FACE WHATEVER IT TAKES, 419 00:21:13,896 --> 00:21:16,137 NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS 420 00:21:16,137 --> 00:21:18,931 IF I WANT TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO BE AROUND MUCH LONGER. 421 00:21:22,551 --> 00:21:23,689 YEAH. 422 00:21:27,517 --> 00:21:29,586 OKAY. 423 00:21:29,586 --> 00:21:36,241 ♪♪ 424 00:21:36,241 --> 00:21:38,655 I'M TAKING DEEP BREATHS AND DOING ALL THE EXERCISES 425 00:21:38,655 --> 00:21:40,931 I LEARNED IN THERAPY TO STAY CALM. 426 00:21:40,931 --> 00:21:43,379 I JUST NEED TO HOLD IT TOGETHER FOR A LITTLE BIT. 427 00:21:45,448 --> 00:21:48,137 SO I JUST WANT TO GET TO THE PLANE AS SOON AS I CAN 428 00:21:48,137 --> 00:21:50,034 BECAUSE THIS IS ALREADY REALLY HARD FOR ME, 429 00:21:50,034 --> 00:21:51,758 AND I'M GETTING A LITTLE SCARED. 430 00:21:55,137 --> 00:21:57,551 AND I HAVEN'T EVER REALLY PUSHED MYSELF LIKE THIS, 431 00:21:57,551 --> 00:21:59,068 SO I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'M GONNA HIT A WALL 432 00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:01,103 AND GET TO MY LIMIT. 433 00:22:01,103 --> 00:22:03,241 I'M JUST WORRIED ABOUT WHERE THERE'S GOING TO BE CHAIRS 434 00:22:03,241 --> 00:22:04,965 AND PLACES TO EVEN REST. 435 00:22:04,965 --> 00:22:07,034 ♪♪ 436 00:22:10,551 --> 00:22:18,620 ♪♪ 437 00:22:20,103 --> 00:22:24,793 ♪♪ 438 00:22:24,793 --> 00:22:28,586 I'M MANAGING, BUT THE QUICKER WE CAN GET ON THE PLANE, 439 00:22:28,586 --> 00:22:30,310 THE BETTER. 440 00:22:34,137 --> 00:22:36,689 BEING FORCED TO STAND AND BE AROUND A LOT OF PEOPLE 441 00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:41,206 WAS PRETTY MUCH THE NIGHTMARE SCENARIO I DIDN'T WANT. 442 00:22:41,206 --> 00:22:43,482 BUT I'M TRYING TO HOLD IT TOGETHER, 443 00:22:43,482 --> 00:22:46,137 AND I'M FREAKING OUT A LITTLE BIT. 444 00:22:46,137 --> 00:22:47,862 Woman: WE WILL NOW BEGIN THE PRE-BOARD PROCESS 445 00:22:47,862 --> 00:22:51,827 FOR FLIGHT 624 WITH SERVICES TO HOUSTON. 446 00:22:54,724 --> 00:22:56,517 Justin: I WAS STARTING TO GET WORRIED BECAUSE MY LEGS 447 00:22:56,517 --> 00:22:59,931 ARE REALLY HURTING, AND I NEED TO SIT DOWN. 448 00:22:59,931 --> 00:23:04,172 SO I'M HOPING TO FIT IN THESE SEATS AND THERE'S NO ISSUES, 449 00:23:04,172 --> 00:23:06,724 BUT IF I DON'T, I'M NOT SURE WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. 450 00:23:06,724 --> 00:23:11,689 ♪♪ 451 00:23:11,689 --> 00:23:12,896 I'M REALLY HAPPY I MADE IT 452 00:23:12,896 --> 00:23:15,758 AND THAT I'M FINALLY ON THE PLANE, 453 00:23:15,758 --> 00:23:18,551 BUT BEING AT THE FRONT WITH EVERYONE PASSING ME BY 454 00:23:18,551 --> 00:23:21,896 MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M THIS FREAK ON DISPLAY. 455 00:23:21,896 --> 00:23:23,448 AND I HAVEN'T EATEN IN A WHILE, 456 00:23:23,448 --> 00:23:26,000 AND I KNOW THAT'S NOT HELPING MY EMOTIONAL STATE EITHER, 457 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,275 SO HOPEFULLY I'LL HAVE A CHANCE TO CALM DOWN 458 00:23:28,275 --> 00:23:29,965 ONCE WE'RE IN THE AIR. 459 00:23:29,965 --> 00:23:35,413 ♪♪ 460 00:23:35,413 --> 00:23:37,448 I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN. 461 00:23:37,448 --> 00:23:39,172 I'M STARTING TO GET FRUSTRATED. 462 00:23:39,172 --> 00:23:43,172 AND JUST BEING IN AN ENCLOSED SPACE, IT'S NERVE WRACKING, 463 00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:45,241 BUT I'M HOPING THE HARDEST PART OF THIS WHOLE TRIP 464 00:23:45,241 --> 00:23:46,689 IS BEHIND ME NOW. 465 00:23:51,034 --> 00:23:53,379 I'M REALLY GLAD WE'RE FINALLY HERE, 466 00:23:53,379 --> 00:23:55,793 BUT I'M NOT REALLY GONNA BE ABLE TO WALK FAR 467 00:23:55,793 --> 00:23:57,793 BECAUSE MY LEGS ARE DONE, 468 00:23:57,793 --> 00:24:00,586 SO I HAVE TO GET SOME ASSISTANCE. 469 00:24:00,586 --> 00:24:01,793 I JUST HOPE THEY HAVE A WHEELCHAIR 470 00:24:01,793 --> 00:24:03,206 THAT'S BIG ENOUGH FOR ME 471 00:24:03,206 --> 00:24:05,137 BECAUSE I'M NOT GONNA FIT IN A REGULAR ONE. 472 00:24:08,172 --> 00:24:10,931 AND IF THEY DON'T, I'M GONNA BE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE. 473 00:24:10,931 --> 00:24:19,137 ♪♪ 474 00:24:19,137 --> 00:24:27,172 ♪♪ 475 00:24:27,172 --> 00:24:28,896 IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY. 476 00:24:28,896 --> 00:24:32,586 I'M TIRED, I'M HUNGRY, AND I JUST WANT TO LAY DOWN, 477 00:24:32,586 --> 00:24:35,068 BUT WE JUST NEED TO GET OUR BAGS AND THE RENTAL CAR, 478 00:24:35,068 --> 00:24:38,275 AND THEN I CAN EAT AND REST. 479 00:24:38,275 --> 00:24:40,172 -OKAY. -WE GOOD? 480 00:24:40,172 --> 00:24:43,413 Tara: WE TAKE THIS SHUTTLE OVER TO THEIR STATION. 481 00:24:43,413 --> 00:24:45,275 I MEAN, IT SHOULDN'T BE TOO FAR. DO YOU THINK YOU CAN WALK IT? 482 00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:46,793 -YEAH. -OKAY. 483 00:24:46,793 --> 00:24:48,137 YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO PUT THIS CHAIR THOUGH. 484 00:24:48,137 --> 00:24:49,758 THERE'S WHEELCHAIRS OVER THERE. WE'LL JUST -- 485 00:24:49,758 --> 00:24:51,172 I'LL GO RUN IT OVER THERE. 486 00:24:51,172 --> 00:24:52,862 OKAY. 487 00:24:52,862 --> 00:24:55,310 I THINK JUSTIN IS KIND OF STRESSED RIGHT NOW. 488 00:24:55,310 --> 00:24:58,413 I THINK THE FLIGHT WAS ROUGH ON HIM. 489 00:24:58,413 --> 00:24:59,793 ONCE WE LEAVE THE AIRPORT, 490 00:24:59,793 --> 00:25:01,344 I THINK JUSTIN AND I ARE GONNA GO AHEAD 491 00:25:01,344 --> 00:25:03,379 AND GET THE RENTAL CAR, WE'RE GONNA HEAD TO THE HOTEL, 492 00:25:03,379 --> 00:25:05,793 AND WE'RE DEFINITELY GONNA GET SOMETHING TO EAT 493 00:25:05,793 --> 00:25:08,034 BECAUSE BOTH OF US ARE REALLY HUNGRY. 494 00:25:08,034 --> 00:25:10,172 AND THEN I THINK WE'RE JUST GONNA SHUT IT DOWN 495 00:25:10,172 --> 00:25:12,724 FOR THE NIGHT AND GO TO BED. 496 00:25:12,724 --> 00:25:16,206 ALL RIGHT. THANKS, MAN. 497 00:25:16,206 --> 00:25:18,724 Justin: I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TRIP TO BE OVER WITH, 498 00:25:18,724 --> 00:25:21,000 BUT I HAVE TO EAT SOON, SO HOPEFULLY 499 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,448 WE CAN GET OUR RENTAL QUICKLY AND GET GOING. 500 00:25:24,448 --> 00:25:26,620 THE ONLY THING I WISH I COULD AVOID IS DRIVING, 501 00:25:26,620 --> 00:25:28,000 BUT MY MOM DOESN'T HAVE A CREDIT CARD, 502 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,172 SO I HAVE TO RENT THE CAR. 503 00:25:30,172 --> 00:25:31,689 SO AS WIPED OUT AS I AM, 504 00:25:31,689 --> 00:25:35,413 I THINK I'M THE ONE THAT HAS TO DRIVE US TO THE HOTEL. 505 00:25:35,413 --> 00:25:37,758 ALL RIGHT. I GUESS... 506 00:25:37,758 --> 00:25:40,482 -THROUGH THERE. -...WE GO UP THAT WAY. 507 00:25:40,482 --> 00:25:42,862 BUT SO FAR, THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A LONG TRIP, 508 00:25:42,862 --> 00:25:44,965 AND I'M REALLY CLOSE TO MY LIMIT. 509 00:25:49,689 --> 00:25:51,379 HI. WE HAVE A RESERVATION 510 00:25:51,379 --> 00:25:53,137 FOR A LARGE S.U.V. THAT WE NEED TO GET. 511 00:25:57,344 --> 00:25:59,448 AS LONG AS IT'S A BIG CAR, THAT SHOULD WORK 512 00:25:59,448 --> 00:26:01,965 BECAUSE I DON'T DO WELL IN SMALL CARS. 513 00:26:01,965 --> 00:26:07,103 ♪♪ 514 00:26:07,103 --> 00:26:08,689 I'M A LITTLE BIT WORRIED RIGHT NOW 515 00:26:08,689 --> 00:26:11,655 BECAUSE I'M NOT SURE HOW BIG THIS VEHICLE'S GONNA BE. 516 00:26:11,655 --> 00:26:14,689 BUT IF IT'S TOO SMALL, THEN I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FIT, 517 00:26:14,689 --> 00:26:17,172 AND THAT'S OBVIOUSLY GONNA BE AN ISSUE. 518 00:26:17,172 --> 00:26:18,275 THERE IT IS. 519 00:26:22,310 --> 00:26:27,655 ♪♪ 520 00:26:36,724 --> 00:26:39,068 ALL RIGHT. 521 00:26:45,517 --> 00:26:49,827 IT'S TIGHT. 522 00:26:49,827 --> 00:26:51,275 IT'S NOT GONNA WORK. 523 00:26:51,275 --> 00:26:54,000 IT'S NOT GONNA WORK? 524 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,448 WELL, YOU CAN'T EVEN FIT IN THERE, CAN YOU? 525 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,344 -NOT REALLY. -OKAY. 526 00:26:58,344 --> 00:27:00,482 WILL YOU GO AND SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING BIGGER? 527 00:27:00,482 --> 00:27:02,689 AND ASK ABOUT MAKING YOU A DRIVER. 528 00:27:02,689 --> 00:27:05,034 OKAY. 529 00:27:05,034 --> 00:27:08,206 I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 530 00:27:08,206 --> 00:27:10,965 THIS IS THE LAST THING I NEED. 531 00:27:10,965 --> 00:27:15,965 I'M TRYING REALLY HARD NOT TO SPIRAL AND HAVE A PANIC ATTACK. 532 00:27:15,965 --> 00:27:18,137 BUT I'M BEYOND MY LIMIT AT THIS POINT, 533 00:27:18,137 --> 00:27:20,448 AND IF WE DON'T FIND A SOLUTION QUICKLY, 534 00:27:20,448 --> 00:27:22,931 IT'S GONNA GET REALLY BAD, 535 00:27:22,931 --> 00:27:24,482 AND I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT. 536 00:27:29,379 --> 00:27:37,000 ♪♪ 537 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,965 Justin: MY MOM AND I HAVE BEEN TRAVELING ALL DAY, 538 00:27:38,965 --> 00:27:41,896 AND WE'RE FINALLY IN HOUSTON. 539 00:27:41,896 --> 00:27:43,620 ALL I WANT TO DO IS GET SOMETHING TO EAT 540 00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:45,827 AND GET TO OUR HOTEL AND REST, 541 00:27:45,827 --> 00:27:49,758 BUT THE CAR RENTAL PLACE MESSED UP OUR RESERVATION. 542 00:27:49,758 --> 00:27:51,413 BUT IF WE DON'T FIGURE THIS OUT SOON, 543 00:27:51,413 --> 00:27:53,689 I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO LAST MUCH LONGER. 544 00:27:58,448 --> 00:28:00,620 IS THIS IT? THE LIGHTS JUST TURNED ON. 545 00:28:00,620 --> 00:28:01,793 TRY IT. 546 00:28:31,827 --> 00:28:33,379 IF YOU DRIVE. 547 00:28:33,379 --> 00:28:35,689 IT'S $13 A DAY. 548 00:28:35,689 --> 00:28:37,586 [BLEEP] IT. 549 00:28:37,586 --> 00:28:40,000 I MEAN, HE SAID HE CAN PUT US IN THE TRUCK. 550 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,517 DO YOU WANT TO TRY THE TRUCK? 551 00:28:43,655 --> 00:28:47,275 [ HORN HONKS ] 552 00:28:47,275 --> 00:28:49,689 PROBABLY. 553 00:28:49,689 --> 00:28:51,344 YEAH. 554 00:28:52,827 --> 00:28:55,965 AS WIPED OUT AS I AM, I DON'T WANT MY MOM TO HAVE TO DRIVE 555 00:28:55,965 --> 00:28:58,241 BECAUSE SHE'S ALREADY DONE A LOT FOR ME. 556 00:28:58,241 --> 00:29:00,310 THIS LOOKS BETTER. 557 00:29:00,310 --> 00:29:07,724 ♪♪ 558 00:29:07,724 --> 00:29:09,413 NOPE. 559 00:29:09,413 --> 00:29:10,586 SHE HAS TO DRIVE. 560 00:29:10,586 --> 00:29:12,413 OKAY. 561 00:29:12,413 --> 00:29:14,275 SO WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT? 562 00:29:14,275 --> 00:29:16,655 I THINK THIS IS THE BIGGEST. 563 00:29:16,655 --> 00:29:18,586 IF WE CAN. 564 00:29:18,586 --> 00:29:21,034 OKAY, WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO ADD ME AS A DRIVER. 565 00:29:23,137 --> 00:29:25,103 I'M A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED WE DIDN'T FIND A VEHICLE 566 00:29:25,103 --> 00:29:27,448 I CAN DRIVE. 567 00:29:27,448 --> 00:29:29,758 BUT AT THIS POINT, WE JUST NEED TO GET THIS DONE 568 00:29:29,758 --> 00:29:31,517 AND GET TO WHERE I CAN REST. 569 00:29:31,517 --> 00:29:37,827 ♪♪ 570 00:29:37,827 --> 00:29:44,103 ♪♪ 571 00:29:44,103 --> 00:29:48,206 I'M SO WIPED OUT, BUT THIS IS ALMOST OVER. 572 00:29:48,206 --> 00:29:51,482 I JUST HAVE A LITTLE BIT FURTHER TO GO. 573 00:29:51,482 --> 00:29:53,965 IT'S GOOD ENOUGH. 574 00:29:53,965 --> 00:29:56,103 OH, I THINK I'M GONNA LIKE THIS. 575 00:29:58,862 --> 00:30:00,620 WE HAVE TO STOP SO I CAN EAT. 576 00:30:00,620 --> 00:30:01,931 OKAY. 577 00:30:06,758 --> 00:30:09,586 THANK YOU. 578 00:30:09,586 --> 00:30:10,793 ALL RIGHT. 579 00:30:10,793 --> 00:30:12,000 OKAY. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT? 580 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,862 SWEET AND SPICY BACON BURGER COMBO. 581 00:30:13,862 --> 00:30:15,172 OKAY. 582 00:30:15,172 --> 00:30:17,448 WE'LL TAKE A BACON AND CHEESEBURGER. 583 00:30:17,448 --> 00:30:19,034 Man: Will that complete your order? 584 00:30:19,034 --> 00:30:21,275 NO, CAN I GET A PATTY MELT WITH BACON? 585 00:30:21,275 --> 00:30:22,275 $17.62. 586 00:30:22,275 --> 00:30:24,517 -THANK YOU. -Thank you. 587 00:30:24,517 --> 00:30:27,517 THANK YOU. 588 00:30:27,517 --> 00:30:31,241 Justin: I'VE NEVER PUSHED MYSELF ANYWHERE NEAR LIKE I HAVE TODAY, 589 00:30:31,241 --> 00:30:34,137 SO THIS HAS BEEN REALLY HARD, 590 00:30:34,137 --> 00:30:37,068 AND I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER GONE THIS LONG WITHOUT EATING. 591 00:30:37,068 --> 00:30:40,517 I'LL GO AHEAD AND GRAB EVERYTHING OUT OF THE BACK. 592 00:30:42,137 --> 00:30:44,034 SO THIS HAS ALL BEEN A LOT, 593 00:30:44,034 --> 00:30:48,620 AND I'M JUST HOPING IT'S GONNA TURN OUT TO BE WORTH IT. 594 00:30:51,965 --> 00:30:53,310 LET'S HAVE DINNER AND GO TO BED. 595 00:30:55,758 --> 00:30:58,655 I HAVE MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW IN THE MORNING, 596 00:30:58,655 --> 00:31:00,689 AND IF HE DOESN'T LET ME DO HIS PROGRAM 597 00:31:00,689 --> 00:31:02,689 AND GIVE ME A CHANCE TO GET WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 598 00:31:02,689 --> 00:31:04,517 THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO. 599 00:31:04,517 --> 00:31:10,586 ♪♪ 600 00:31:10,586 --> 00:31:16,655 ♪♪ 601 00:31:16,655 --> 00:31:18,862 IT'S NOT ABOUT TONIGHT, IT'S ABOUT TOMORROW. 602 00:31:20,896 --> 00:31:22,379 YEP. 603 00:31:22,379 --> 00:31:24,482 I AM REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT TOMORROW. 604 00:31:24,482 --> 00:31:25,862 ARE YOU? 605 00:31:25,862 --> 00:31:28,551 JUST BECAUSE IT'S GETTING CLOSER TO THAT 606 00:31:28,551 --> 00:31:30,241 EITHER MAKE OR BREAK TIME. 607 00:31:30,241 --> 00:31:36,068 ♪♪ 608 00:31:36,068 --> 00:31:41,965 ♪♪ 609 00:31:41,965 --> 00:31:43,931 MY MOM AND I ARE HEADED TO DR. NOW'S CLINIC 610 00:31:43,931 --> 00:31:46,379 FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH HIM. 611 00:31:46,379 --> 00:31:48,620 I'M FEELING A LOT BETTER AFTER RESTING SOME, 612 00:31:48,620 --> 00:31:51,896 BUT MY ANXIETY IS STILL REALLY HIGH 613 00:31:51,896 --> 00:31:54,827 BECAUSE I KNOW I HAVE TO SEE WHERE MY WEIGHT'S AT, 614 00:31:54,827 --> 00:31:56,793 AND I'M HOPING IT'S IN THE UPPER 500s 615 00:31:56,793 --> 00:31:58,793 OR LOW 600s AT LEAST. 616 00:32:01,896 --> 00:32:04,620 JUSTIN McSWAIN? 617 00:32:04,620 --> 00:32:07,827 Justin: BUT I'M ALSO REALLY NERVOUS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW 618 00:32:07,827 --> 00:32:10,137 IF THERE'S GONNA BE SOME REASON THAT MAKES DR. NOW THINK 619 00:32:10,137 --> 00:32:12,172 HE CAN'T HELP ME, 620 00:32:12,172 --> 00:32:15,275 SO I'M HOPING IT GOES WELL AND THAT'S NOT THE CASE. 621 00:32:15,275 --> 00:32:18,655 ♪♪ 622 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,275 THAT NUMBER IS SHOCKING TO SEE 623 00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:27,241 BECAUSE I KNEW I WAS LIKELY IN THE 600s, 624 00:32:27,241 --> 00:32:29,620 BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS THE LOW 600s, 625 00:32:29,620 --> 00:32:33,379 SO GETTING HELP IS EVEN MORE URGENT THAN I THOUGHT. 626 00:32:33,379 --> 00:32:35,344 AND IT MAKES ME WORRY THAT THERE'S A GREATER CHANCE 627 00:32:35,344 --> 00:32:38,241 HE MAY SAY HE CAN'T HELP ME SINCE I'M SO BIG. 628 00:32:42,413 --> 00:32:43,482 -HELLO. -HI. 629 00:32:43,482 --> 00:32:45,931 -HI. -HOW ARE Y'ALL DOING? 630 00:32:45,931 --> 00:32:47,000 ALL RIGHT. YOURSELF? 631 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,448 I'M DR. NOWZARADAN. 632 00:32:48,448 --> 00:32:50,620 -JUSTIN. -NICE TO MEET YOU. 633 00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:51,793 I'M TARA. 634 00:32:51,793 --> 00:32:53,103 AND YOU ARE... 635 00:32:53,103 --> 00:32:54,586 -HIS MOTHER. -HIS MOTHER. 636 00:32:54,586 --> 00:32:56,344 OKAY. WHERE ARE Y'ALL COMING FROM? 637 00:32:56,344 --> 00:32:57,413 SOUTH CAROLINA. 638 00:32:57,413 --> 00:32:59,172 SOUTH CAROLINA. GREAT. 639 00:32:59,172 --> 00:33:01,482 HOW WAS YOUR TRIP DOWN TO HOUSTON? 640 00:33:01,482 --> 00:33:04,344 IT WAS THE LONGEST TRIP I'VE TAKEN IN A WHILE. 641 00:33:04,344 --> 00:33:05,448 YOU FEELING OKAY? 642 00:33:05,448 --> 00:33:07,137 -YEAH. -ALL RIGHT. 643 00:33:07,137 --> 00:33:11,793 SO I TAKE IT YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT. 644 00:33:11,793 --> 00:33:12,896 YEAH. 645 00:33:12,896 --> 00:33:15,379 AND YOU ARE 27 YEARS OLD. 646 00:33:15,379 --> 00:33:18,931 -YES, SIR. -AND 687 POUNDS. 647 00:33:18,931 --> 00:33:21,689 THAT'S A LOT OF WEIGHT GAIN IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. 648 00:33:21,689 --> 00:33:23,655 HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? 649 00:33:23,655 --> 00:33:25,724 I HAD A LOT OF ISSUES WITH FOOD GROWING UP 650 00:33:25,724 --> 00:33:27,344 JUST WITH HOW MUCH IT WAS CONTROLLED. 651 00:33:27,344 --> 00:33:30,344 AND WHEN I GOT TO COLLEGE, I LET IT GET OUT OF HAND. 652 00:33:30,344 --> 00:33:33,172 IS THAT FROM PROBABLY BEING IN A DORM? 653 00:33:33,172 --> 00:33:35,689 WERE YOU ON YOUR OWN DURING THAT TIME? 654 00:33:35,689 --> 00:33:38,758 -YEAH. -SO YOU DIDN'T HAVE AN ENABLER, 655 00:33:38,758 --> 00:33:41,241 WHICH MEANS YOUR PATHOLOGICAL EATING 656 00:33:41,241 --> 00:33:44,896 IS MOSTLY THE RESULT OF SOME SEVERE EMOTIONAL ISSUES 657 00:33:44,896 --> 00:33:48,310 THAT ARE GOING TO RUN REALLY DEEP WITH YOU. 658 00:33:48,310 --> 00:33:51,655 I'VE HAD A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY 659 00:33:51,655 --> 00:33:53,862 THAT I DIDN'T DEAL WITH FOR A LONG TIME. 660 00:33:53,862 --> 00:33:55,448 WHAT TRIGGERED THE DEPRESSION? 661 00:33:55,448 --> 00:33:57,482 A LOT OF THAT CAME FROM JUST CHILDHOOD 662 00:33:57,482 --> 00:34:00,379 AND THE WAY THAT I WAS RAISED. 663 00:34:00,379 --> 00:34:05,551 THERE WERE A LOT OF ISSUES THAT I'VE ONLY JUST STARTED 664 00:34:05,551 --> 00:34:08,068 SORT OF REALLY GETTING INTO WITH MY PSYCHIATRIST. 665 00:34:08,068 --> 00:34:11,793 OKAY, WELL, IT'S GOOD YOU'VE BEEN GOING TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST 666 00:34:11,793 --> 00:34:14,137 BECAUSE DEALING WITH THOSE EMOTIONAL ISSUES 667 00:34:14,137 --> 00:34:15,827 IS GONNA BE VERY IMPORTANT. 668 00:34:15,827 --> 00:34:18,793 BUT I'M CONCERNED IT HASN'T LED YOU TO ANY WEIGHT LOSS, 669 00:34:18,793 --> 00:34:21,344 SO LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR EATING HABITS NOW. 670 00:34:21,344 --> 00:34:23,206 DO YOU EAT AT HOME OR YOU EAT OUT? 671 00:34:23,206 --> 00:34:24,448 I EAT AT HOME. 672 00:34:24,448 --> 00:34:26,482 SO WHO COOKS? 673 00:34:26,482 --> 00:34:28,620 I'LL COOK FOR MYSELF. 674 00:34:28,620 --> 00:34:29,827 I HAVE GROCERIES DELIVERED. 675 00:34:29,827 --> 00:34:31,551 WHAT DO YOU MEAN GROCERIES DELIVERED? 676 00:34:31,551 --> 00:34:34,482 YOU CAN'T GO AND BUY YOUR OWN GROCERIES? 677 00:34:34,482 --> 00:34:37,034 I'M NOT ABLE TO WALK AROUND LONG ENOUGH 678 00:34:37,034 --> 00:34:38,655 TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE. 679 00:34:38,655 --> 00:34:40,965 A FEW MINUTES TOPS. 680 00:34:40,965 --> 00:34:43,379 WHO ELSE LIVES IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD? 681 00:34:43,379 --> 00:34:44,551 I LIVE ALONE. 682 00:34:44,551 --> 00:34:46,137 BUT MY MOM COMES OVER TO HELP ME OUT. 683 00:34:46,137 --> 00:34:48,068 DOES YOUR MOM BRING YOU FOOD NOW? 684 00:34:48,068 --> 00:34:50,827 -YEAH. -SO SHE'S YOUR ENABLER NOW. 685 00:34:50,827 --> 00:34:53,275 AND THAT COMBINED WITH YOUR EMOTIONAL ISSUES 686 00:34:53,275 --> 00:34:55,482 DRIVING YOU TO EAT CREATE THE POTENTIAL 687 00:34:55,482 --> 00:34:58,758 FOR YOU TO GAIN MORE THAN YOU EVER HAVE, 688 00:34:58,758 --> 00:35:01,172 AND THAT'S NOT A GOOD SCENARIO AT ALL 689 00:35:01,172 --> 00:35:04,206 BECAUSE YOU ALREADY ARE ALMOST 700 POUNDS. 690 00:35:04,206 --> 00:35:06,137 SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE SOLUTION 691 00:35:06,137 --> 00:35:09,103 WILL BE TO YOUR PROBLEM? 692 00:35:09,103 --> 00:35:12,448 I NEED TO CHANGE THE WAY THAT I HANDLE FOOD. 693 00:35:12,448 --> 00:35:14,896 I WOULD AGREE, BECAUSE RIGHT NOW 694 00:35:14,896 --> 00:35:18,000 IF YOU GAIN ANOTHER 50 TO 70 POUNDS, 695 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,586 YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO MOVE AND YOU'RE GONNA BE BEDRIDDEN. 696 00:35:20,586 --> 00:35:22,000 YEAH. 697 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,931 AND IF YOU LET THAT HAPPEN, IF YOU LIVE ALONE, 698 00:35:23,931 --> 00:35:25,379 WHO'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU? 699 00:35:25,379 --> 00:35:28,620 I DON'T HAVE ANYONE IN THAT CASE. 700 00:35:28,620 --> 00:35:30,344 YOU HAVE YOUR MOTHER, BUT I KNOW 701 00:35:30,344 --> 00:35:32,172 YOU DON'T WANT THINGS TO BE THAT WAY. 702 00:35:32,172 --> 00:35:33,413 NO. 703 00:35:33,413 --> 00:35:35,379 SO YOU REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO MAKE 704 00:35:35,379 --> 00:35:37,241 THE CHANGES YOU NEED NOW? 705 00:35:37,241 --> 00:35:39,724 -I DO. -BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE 27, 706 00:35:39,724 --> 00:35:42,034 IF YOU KEEP THIS UP AND THE WAY YOU'RE GOING, 707 00:35:42,034 --> 00:35:44,517 YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT TO 30, OKAY? 708 00:35:44,517 --> 00:35:46,103 YEAH. 709 00:35:46,103 --> 00:35:48,413 SO YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT AND MAKE THE CHANGES RIGHT NOW. 710 00:35:48,413 --> 00:35:52,206 BUT WHAT I NEED TO SEE FROM YOU BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING ELSE 711 00:35:52,206 --> 00:35:56,310 IS A WILLINGNESS TO WORK HARD AT MAKING THOSE CHANGES. 712 00:35:56,310 --> 00:35:59,793 AND TO DO THAT, I'M GONNA PUT YOU ON A 1,200 CALORIE, 713 00:35:59,793 --> 00:36:03,827 HIGH-PROTEIN, LOW-CARB DIET THAT YOU NEED TO COMPLETELY STICK TO. 714 00:36:03,827 --> 00:36:06,586 AND IF YOU DO THAT, WHEN YOU ARE 600 POUNDS, 715 00:36:06,586 --> 00:36:09,862 YOU CAN EASILY LOSE 50 POUNDS IN ONE MONTH. 716 00:36:09,862 --> 00:36:12,793 BUT I'M GIVING YOU TWO MONTHS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU 717 00:36:12,793 --> 00:36:15,103 TRAVELLING BACK AND FORTH TOO MUCH 718 00:36:15,103 --> 00:36:17,724 TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T PUT TOO MUCH STRAIN ON YOUR BODY 719 00:36:17,724 --> 00:36:19,206 RIGHT NOW. -OKAY. 720 00:36:19,206 --> 00:36:22,310 SO I WANT TO SEE 100-POUNDS WEIGHT LOSS IN THAT TIME, 721 00:36:22,310 --> 00:36:24,241 AND I WANT YOU TO START EXERCISING 722 00:36:24,241 --> 00:36:25,896 FOR AT LEAST 30 MINUTES A DAY. 723 00:36:25,896 --> 00:36:27,724 -OKAY. -YOU'RE RELATIVELY YOUNG, 724 00:36:27,724 --> 00:36:31,275 SO YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO BE ACTIVE WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM. 725 00:36:31,275 --> 00:36:32,793 GOT IT? -YEAH. 726 00:36:32,793 --> 00:36:36,241 IF YOU DO THAT AND HIT YOUR GOAL BY YOUR NEXT APPOINTMENT, 727 00:36:36,241 --> 00:36:38,482 I'LL APPROVE YOU FOR WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY, OKAY? 728 00:36:38,482 --> 00:36:39,931 OKAY. 729 00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:42,758 BUT IF WE DO THEN YOU'RE GONNA NEED TO MOVE DOWN HERE 730 00:36:42,758 --> 00:36:44,068 TO HOUSTON, 731 00:36:44,068 --> 00:36:46,379 AND YOU WILL NEED SOMEONE TO MOVE WITH YOU 732 00:36:46,379 --> 00:36:47,793 BECAUSE YOU WILL NEED HELP 733 00:36:47,793 --> 00:36:50,137 UNTIL YOU START LOSING A LOT OF WEIGHT. 734 00:36:50,137 --> 00:36:52,931 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT? 735 00:36:52,931 --> 00:36:56,103 AT THIS POINT, I'M COMMITTED TO GETTING HEALTHY 736 00:36:56,103 --> 00:36:58,448 AND LOSING THE WEIGHT NO MATTER WHAT. 737 00:36:58,448 --> 00:37:02,000 THAT'S MY PRIORITY, SO IF IT MEANS MOVING TO HOUSTON, 738 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,206 THEN YES, I'M ABSOLUTELY WILLING AND READY TO DO THAT. 739 00:37:05,206 --> 00:37:06,758 RIGHT. 740 00:37:06,758 --> 00:37:08,551 AND THE LAST THING THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY IMPORTANT 741 00:37:08,551 --> 00:37:11,206 FOR A SURGERY ARE YOUR EMOTIONAL ISSUES. 742 00:37:11,206 --> 00:37:12,551 OKAY. 743 00:37:12,551 --> 00:37:14,758 IF WE APPROVE YOU AND YOU JOIN THE PROGRAM, 744 00:37:14,758 --> 00:37:18,068 WE WILL NEED TO SET YOU UP WITH A THERAPIST DOWN HERE 745 00:37:18,068 --> 00:37:19,586 BECAUSE I NEED TO MAKE SURE 746 00:37:19,586 --> 00:37:22,551 THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY DEALING WITH WHAT YOU NEED. 747 00:37:22,551 --> 00:37:24,068 I'D LIKE THAT. 748 00:37:24,068 --> 00:37:26,310 THAT'S GOOD BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, 749 00:37:26,310 --> 00:37:31,344 THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUE WILL COME TO SURFACE SOONER OR LATER 750 00:37:31,344 --> 00:37:34,172 AND GONNA DERAIL ALL THE PROGRESS YOU MAKE 751 00:37:34,172 --> 00:37:36,034 WITH THE WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. -YEAH. 752 00:37:36,034 --> 00:37:38,034 AND THAT'S GONNA BE VERY IMPORTANT, 753 00:37:38,034 --> 00:37:39,931 BUT WE'LL GET YOU THE HELP YOU NEED 754 00:37:39,931 --> 00:37:41,620 AS LONG AS YOU DO YOUR PART. 755 00:37:41,620 --> 00:37:43,448 -OKAY. -ALL RIGHT. 756 00:37:43,448 --> 00:37:45,724 WELL, NICE TO MEET YOU. -THANK YOU. 757 00:37:45,724 --> 00:37:46,965 YOU, TOO. -ALL RIGHT. 758 00:37:46,965 --> 00:37:48,793 WE LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING WITH YOU. 759 00:37:48,793 --> 00:37:50,137 -THANK YOU SO MUCH. -ALL RIGHT. 760 00:37:50,137 --> 00:37:51,655 I'LL SEE YOU ALL. 761 00:37:51,655 --> 00:37:53,034 -THANK YOU. -THANK YOU. 762 00:37:53,034 --> 00:37:56,413 OKAY. 763 00:37:56,413 --> 00:37:59,000 Dr. Nowzaradan: WITH WHAT I ALREADY SEE FROM JUSTIN, 764 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:02,172 THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS I AM VERY CONCERNED ABOUT 765 00:38:02,172 --> 00:38:05,655 BECAUSE IT'S CLEAR HE HAS SIGNIFICANT EMOTIONAL ISSUES 766 00:38:05,655 --> 00:38:08,793 THAT ARE BEHIND HIS PATHOLOGY TO OVEREAT 767 00:38:08,793 --> 00:38:11,896 AND USE FOOD AS A WAY OF COPING WITH HIS LIFE, 768 00:38:11,896 --> 00:38:14,689 AND IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY TO CHANGE THAT. 769 00:38:14,689 --> 00:38:17,965 ON TOP OF THAT, IT REMAINS TO BE SEEN BY ME 770 00:38:17,965 --> 00:38:22,241 IF HIS MOM IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE INFLUENCE IN HIS LIFE, 771 00:38:22,241 --> 00:38:25,379 SO WE HAVE A LOT OF OBSTACLES TO OVERCOME WITH JUSTIN 772 00:38:25,379 --> 00:38:28,206 TO GET HIM TO WHERE HE NEEDS TO BE. 773 00:38:28,206 --> 00:38:30,517 BUT IT'S UP TO HIM TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP 774 00:38:30,517 --> 00:38:33,448 TO TURN HIS LIFE AROUND. 775 00:38:33,448 --> 00:38:36,068 Justin: I'M FEELING A LITTLE RELIEVED THAT DR. NOW IS GONNA HELP ME. 776 00:38:36,068 --> 00:38:39,517 BUT I KNOW IF I DON'T DO THIS AND HIT DR. NOW'S GOAL, 777 00:38:39,517 --> 00:38:42,620 IT WILL NOT ONLY MEAN I'M NOT GETTING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 778 00:38:42,620 --> 00:38:45,862 BUT I COULD ALSO LOSE THIS CHANCE TO GET HELP. 779 00:38:45,862 --> 00:38:48,896 AND IF THAT HAPPENS, IT WILL BE DEVASTATING 780 00:38:48,896 --> 00:38:52,482 BECAUSE MY LIFE IS DEFINITELY IN THE BALANCE. 781 00:38:52,482 --> 00:38:54,827 DR. NOW IS MY BEST HOPE, 782 00:38:54,827 --> 00:38:56,241 SO IT'S DEFINITELY NOW OR NEVER. 783 00:39:01,068 --> 00:39:10,482 ♪♪ 784 00:39:10,482 --> 00:39:11,896 Justin: SINCE SEEING DR. NOW, 785 00:39:11,896 --> 00:39:14,448 I'VE BEEN HITTING MY DIET AND EXERCISE HARD. 786 00:39:14,448 --> 00:39:16,793 I'VE STARTED WORKING OUT AT A NEARBY GYM, 787 00:39:16,793 --> 00:39:19,896 AND IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS. 788 00:39:19,896 --> 00:39:21,827 AND NORMALLY, I WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN CONSIDERED IT 789 00:39:21,827 --> 00:39:25,724 BECAUSE OF MY ANXIETY, BUT MY MOM FOUND ME A GYM NEARBY 790 00:39:25,724 --> 00:39:29,000 THAT HAS A MORE PRIVATE ROOM TO WORK OUT, 791 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,137 AND I'VE REALLY STARTED TO ENJOY THAT TIME. 792 00:39:33,413 --> 00:39:35,586 THE FIRST FEW TIMES WERE REALLY HARD, 793 00:39:35,586 --> 00:39:39,275 BUT NOW I FEEL LIKE I'M ABLE TO DO MORE AND I'M MAKING PROGRESS. 794 00:39:39,275 --> 00:39:41,793 AND WHEN PEOPLE COME IN, AS LONG AS IT'S NOT TOO MANY, 795 00:39:41,793 --> 00:39:44,310 I CAN HANDLE IT. 796 00:39:44,310 --> 00:39:45,793 TAKING THAT TRIP TO HOUSTON HELPED ME 797 00:39:45,793 --> 00:39:48,137 GET A LITTLE MORE USED TO BEING IN PUBLIC 798 00:39:48,137 --> 00:39:50,413 BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE A CHOICE THEN. 799 00:39:50,413 --> 00:39:53,241 AND I GOT TO SEE HOW MUCH I COULD HANDLE 800 00:39:53,241 --> 00:39:56,000 BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS JUST AVOIDED GOING OUT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, 801 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:59,206 AND IF I HAD TO, I MADE IT QUICK. 802 00:39:59,206 --> 00:40:02,448 BUT I'M TRYING TO WORK ON THAT FEAR AND ANXIETY OF BEING OUT 803 00:40:02,448 --> 00:40:05,241 BECAUSE I KNOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO IT MORE 804 00:40:05,241 --> 00:40:06,931 ESPECIALLY FOR MY NEXT TRIP TO HOUSTON 805 00:40:06,931 --> 00:40:10,965 BECAUSE MY MOM ISN'T GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE IT. 806 00:40:10,965 --> 00:40:13,034 SHE'S TRAVELING FOR A FEW WEEKS, 807 00:40:13,034 --> 00:40:15,000 BUT I DON'T WANT TO MISS MY APPOINTMENT. 808 00:40:17,448 --> 00:40:19,931 SO I PLAN TO MAKE THE TRIP ON MY OWN, 809 00:40:19,931 --> 00:40:22,172 NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES. 810 00:40:22,172 --> 00:40:24,310 AND IF I GET APPROVED FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 811 00:40:24,310 --> 00:40:26,310 MY MOM IS EVEN GONNA PUT HER WHOLE LIFE ON HOLD 812 00:40:26,310 --> 00:40:28,344 TO MOVE DOWN TO HOUSTON WITH ME, 813 00:40:28,344 --> 00:40:31,000 AND I'M THANKFUL AND EXCITED ABOUT THAT POSSIBILITY. 814 00:40:34,965 --> 00:40:37,758 WHEN I RUN OUT OF GROCERIES AT THE HOUSE, 815 00:40:37,758 --> 00:40:39,413 THERE'S ONLY REALLY ONE PLACE 816 00:40:39,413 --> 00:40:41,241 I CAN GO TO GET SOMETHING THAT'S DECENT, 817 00:40:41,241 --> 00:40:45,379 SO I'M ON MY WAY THERE NOW TO JUST GET SOME GRILLED CHICKEN. 818 00:40:45,379 --> 00:40:46,793 Woman: Hi, what can I get for you today? 819 00:40:46,793 --> 00:40:50,000 CAN I GET TWO 12-COUNTS OF THE GRILLED NUGGETS, 820 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,517 JUST THE ENTREE, AND A LARGE ICE WATER? 821 00:40:54,551 --> 00:40:57,551 NOPE, THAT'S IT. 822 00:40:57,551 --> 00:40:58,896 -HERE YOU GO, SIR. -THANKS, MAN. 823 00:40:58,896 --> 00:41:02,275 -MY PLEASURE. -YOU HAVE A GOOD ONE. 824 00:41:02,275 --> 00:41:07,068 IT FEELS LIKE I'VE REVAMPED MY WHOLE LIFE FROM THE GROUND UP. 825 00:41:07,068 --> 00:41:09,137 AND INSTEAD OF JUST EATING ALL DAY, 826 00:41:09,137 --> 00:41:11,137 I'M STICKING TO EATING ONLY THREE TIMES A DAY 827 00:41:11,137 --> 00:41:13,689 WITH FOOD THAT'S ON DR. NOW'S DIET PLAN, 828 00:41:13,689 --> 00:41:15,482 SO THAT'S A HUGE CHANGE FOR ME. 829 00:41:15,482 --> 00:41:18,827 [ DOG BARKS ] 830 00:41:18,827 --> 00:41:23,724 HEY, FINN. HEY, BUDDY. 831 00:41:23,724 --> 00:41:25,724 I JUST HAVE TO KEEP WORKING HARD AND MAKE SURE 832 00:41:25,724 --> 00:41:28,793 I HIT MY GOAL BEFORE I SEE DR. NOW AGAIN. 833 00:41:30,896 --> 00:41:32,724 I HAVE A LITTLE OVER A MONTH BEFORE THAT, 834 00:41:32,724 --> 00:41:36,379 AND I DON'T PLAN TO LET UP EVEN FOR A MOMENT UNTIL THEN. 835 00:41:36,379 --> 00:41:38,482 I'M STICKING TO THE DIET AND PUSHING MYSELF TO WORK 836 00:41:38,482 --> 00:41:40,275 AS HARD AS I CAN 837 00:41:40,275 --> 00:41:43,000 SO THAT WHEN I GO BACK DOWN AND STEP ON THAT SCALE, 838 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,793 I KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHAT THAT NUMBER IS, 839 00:41:45,793 --> 00:41:48,724 I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO GET WHERE I NEED. 840 00:41:48,724 --> 00:41:50,482 I JUST REALLY HOPE IT'S ENOUGH. 841 00:41:50,482 --> 00:41:56,827 ♪♪ 842 00:41:56,827 --> 00:42:03,310 ♪♪ 843 00:42:03,310 --> 00:42:05,793 I'M CURRENTLY BACK IN HOUSTON AND ON MY WAY TO SEE DR. NOW 844 00:42:05,793 --> 00:42:08,551 FOR MY FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT, 845 00:42:08,551 --> 00:42:12,448 AND I'M REALLY NERVOUS BECAUSE A LOT IS RIDING ON TODAY. 846 00:42:12,448 --> 00:42:16,068 THE PAST TWO MONTHS HAVE BEEN REALLY HARD. 847 00:42:16,068 --> 00:42:17,793 BUT KNOWING HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS, 848 00:42:17,793 --> 00:42:21,379 I'VE WORKED AS HARD AS I COULD TO STICK WITH IT, 849 00:42:21,379 --> 00:42:23,310 AND I KNOW I'VE MADE PROGRESS 850 00:42:23,310 --> 00:42:26,724 BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH EASIER IT IS TO GET AROUND. 851 00:42:26,724 --> 00:42:28,413 I JUST NEED IT TO BE ENOUGH. 852 00:42:30,551 --> 00:42:32,620 JUSTIN McSWAIN? 853 00:42:32,620 --> 00:42:36,000 Justin: WHEN I WAS HERE LAST, I WAS UP TO 687, 854 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,448 AND DR. NOW TOLD ME I HAD TO LOSE 855 00:42:37,448 --> 00:42:41,206 AT LEAST 100 POUNDS OVER THE PAST TWO MONTHS. 856 00:42:41,206 --> 00:42:42,586 THAT MEANS IF I HIT MY GOAL, 857 00:42:42,586 --> 00:42:45,034 I'LL BE DOWN TO 587 TODAY, 858 00:42:45,034 --> 00:42:48,344 WHICH I'M REALLY HOPING I DID. 859 00:42:48,344 --> 00:42:51,034 595. 860 00:42:51,034 --> 00:42:52,344 ALL RIGHT. [ CHUCKLES ] 861 00:42:54,862 --> 00:42:56,862 THAT'S AMAZING. 862 00:42:56,862 --> 00:43:00,689 I KNOW I'M NOT QUITE TO THE GOAL DR. NOW GAVE ME, 863 00:43:00,689 --> 00:43:02,241 BUT THIS IS A LOT OF WEIGHT LOSS, 864 00:43:02,241 --> 00:43:03,655 AND I'M HOPING IT SHOW'S DR. NOW 865 00:43:03,655 --> 00:43:06,137 I'M READY FOR SURGERY AND HE APPROVES ME TODAY. 866 00:43:07,241 --> 00:43:08,482 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 867 00:43:08,482 --> 00:43:09,689 HI, JUSTIN. HOW ARE YOU? 868 00:43:09,689 --> 00:43:11,310 PRETTY GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? 869 00:43:11,310 --> 00:43:13,862 I'M GREAT, ESPECIALLY SEEING YOUR WEIGHT LOSS. 870 00:43:13,862 --> 00:43:16,241 YOU LOST 92 POUNDS IN TWO MONTHS. 871 00:43:16,241 --> 00:43:19,000 NOT QUITE 100, BUT THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH, 872 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,689 SO I'M APPROVING YOU FOR WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY, OKAY? 873 00:43:22,689 --> 00:43:23,827 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT? 874 00:43:23,827 --> 00:43:24,689 AWESOME. 875 00:43:24,689 --> 00:43:26,896 BUT BEFORE WE MOVE AHEAD, 876 00:43:26,896 --> 00:43:29,275 YOU NEED TO MOVE DOWN HERE TO HOUSTON, 877 00:43:29,275 --> 00:43:31,275 SO YOU READY FOR THAT? 878 00:43:31,275 --> 00:43:32,448 OKAY. YEAH. 879 00:43:32,448 --> 00:43:33,793 GREAT. 880 00:43:33,793 --> 00:43:35,758 BUT REMEMBER, YOU NEED SOMEONE TO MOVE WITH YOU 881 00:43:35,758 --> 00:43:37,103 BECAUSE, AT YOUR SIZE, 882 00:43:37,103 --> 00:43:40,758 IT CAN BE DANGEROUS TO LIVE ON YOUR OWN LIKE YOU HAVE BEEN. 883 00:43:40,758 --> 00:43:42,862 SO IF YOU MAKE THE MOVE DOWN TO HOUSTON, 884 00:43:42,862 --> 00:43:45,862 WHO'S GONNA LIVE WITH YOU? 885 00:43:45,862 --> 00:43:48,068 MOST LIKELY MY MOTHER. OKAY. 886 00:43:48,068 --> 00:43:51,793 THAT SOUNDS FINE, AS LONG AS YOU DON'T LET HER ENABLE YOU. 887 00:43:51,793 --> 00:43:55,448 BUT WITH YOUR CURRENT PROGRESS, IT SEEMS THAT YOU ALREADY MADE 888 00:43:55,448 --> 00:43:58,103 SOME CHANGES IN YOUR DYNAMIC WITH HER. 889 00:43:58,103 --> 00:44:02,034 SO AS LONG AS IT STAYS THAT WAY, IT SHOULD BE FINE, OKAY? 890 00:44:02,034 --> 00:44:03,310 OKAY. 891 00:44:03,310 --> 00:44:05,275 SO AS SOON AS YOU'RE FULLY DOWN HERE, 892 00:44:05,275 --> 00:44:07,206 LET ME KNOW AND WE'LL GET YOU ON THE SCHEDULE 893 00:44:07,206 --> 00:44:10,965 AS LONG AS YOU CONTINUE TO LOSE AND STAY ON TRACK, OKAY? 894 00:44:10,965 --> 00:44:12,620 OKAY. BUT IF YOU DON'T, 895 00:44:12,620 --> 00:44:14,827 WE WON'T BE ABLE TO DO WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY, 896 00:44:14,827 --> 00:44:18,310 AND WE'LL NEED TO START THIS PROCESS AGAIN, GOT IT? 897 00:44:18,310 --> 00:44:19,482 YES, SIR. 898 00:44:19,482 --> 00:44:22,000 BUT RIGHT NOW YOU'RE DOING GREAT. 899 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:25,275 I'M VERY PROUD OF JUSTIN AND THE PROGRESS HE HAS MADE. 900 00:44:25,275 --> 00:44:27,241 HE'S MADE AN EFFORT TO START TO CHANGE 901 00:44:27,241 --> 00:44:30,620 THE DYSFUNCTIONAL DYNAMIC BETWEEN HIM AND HIS MOM, 902 00:44:30,620 --> 00:44:33,068 AND I KNOW ALL THAT WASN'T EASY. 903 00:44:33,068 --> 00:44:36,413 BUT ULTIMATELY TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN THE LONG TERM, 904 00:44:36,413 --> 00:44:37,965 JUSTIN IS GONNA NEED TO WORK 905 00:44:37,965 --> 00:44:40,551 THROUGH A LOT OF HIS EMOTIONAL ISSUES. 906 00:44:40,551 --> 00:44:42,344 BUT RIGHT NOW, THE NEXT STEP FOR HIM 907 00:44:42,344 --> 00:44:44,310 WILL BE TO GET WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY. 908 00:44:44,310 --> 00:44:47,413 AND AS SOON AS HE AND HIS MOM HAVE MOVED DOWN HERE, 909 00:44:47,413 --> 00:44:48,689 WE WILL MOVE AHEAD WITH THAT. 910 00:44:48,689 --> 00:44:50,034 ALL RIGHT. 911 00:44:50,034 --> 00:44:52,448 KEEP LOSING LIKE YOU ARE AND STAY ON TRACK. 912 00:44:52,448 --> 00:44:54,896 AND I'LL WAIT FOR YOU TO GET DOWN TO HOUSTON 913 00:44:54,896 --> 00:44:56,137 AND WE'LL SEE YOU THEN, OKAY? 914 00:44:56,137 --> 00:44:58,310 -THANK YOU, SIR. -ALL RIGHT. 915 00:44:58,310 --> 00:45:03,965 ♪♪ 916 00:45:03,965 --> 00:45:05,379 Justin: I'M EXTREMELY HAPPY RIGHT NOW 917 00:45:05,379 --> 00:45:06,551 ABOUT HOW THIS APPOINTMENT WENT 918 00:45:06,551 --> 00:45:09,137 AND THAT I'M APPROVED FOR SURGERY. 919 00:45:09,137 --> 00:45:11,517 I WISH MY MOM WAS HERE TO FIND OUT WITH ME, 920 00:45:11,517 --> 00:45:15,275 BUT I'M EXCITED AND I KNOW MY MOM'S EXCITED FOR ME, TOO. 921 00:45:15,275 --> 00:45:17,137 SHE'S PUTTING A LOT OF THINGS ON HOLD FOR ME 922 00:45:17,137 --> 00:45:21,931 TO HELP ME DO THIS, AND I'M REALLY THANKFUL. 923 00:45:21,931 --> 00:45:23,103 I'VE WANTED TO LOSE WEIGHT 924 00:45:23,103 --> 00:45:24,965 AND HAVE MY MOM IN MY LIFE AGAIN, 925 00:45:24,965 --> 00:45:26,896 AND I'M GETTING BOTH, 926 00:45:26,896 --> 00:45:30,068 SO I'M VERY EXCITED AND I CAN'T WAIT. 927 00:45:30,068 --> 00:45:36,448 ♪♪ 928 00:45:36,448 --> 00:45:42,862 ♪♪ 929 00:45:42,862 --> 00:45:44,931 SINCE I GOT BACK HOME A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, 930 00:45:44,931 --> 00:45:47,482 I'VE BEEN GETTING READY TO MOVE TO HOUSTON. 931 00:45:47,482 --> 00:45:50,206 MY MOM IS STILL TRAVELING FOR ANOTHER WEEK, 932 00:45:50,206 --> 00:45:53,862 AND MY GOAL HAS BEEN TO GET AS MUCH DONE BEFORE SHE GETS BACK. 933 00:45:53,862 --> 00:45:56,689 BUT I'M EXCITED BECAUSE I'M TALKING TO HER IN A LITTLE BIT, 934 00:45:56,689 --> 00:45:59,965 AND I'M GOING TO BE ABLE TO TELL HER I'VE ALREADY GOT A LOT DONE. 935 00:45:59,965 --> 00:46:02,896 I EVEN FOUND SOME RENTERS TO LEASE MY HOUSE. 936 00:46:02,896 --> 00:46:06,310 I ALSO FOUND AN APARTMENT ONLINE FOR ME AND MY MOM. 937 00:46:06,310 --> 00:46:08,586 IT FEELS LIKE EVERYTHING'S FALLING INTO PLACE, 938 00:46:08,586 --> 00:46:10,379 SO ONCE MY MOM GETS BACK INTO TOWN, 939 00:46:10,379 --> 00:46:12,206 ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS PACK WHAT SHE WANTS, 940 00:46:12,206 --> 00:46:16,482 AND THEN WE CAN GO AND I CAN GET MY WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY. 941 00:46:16,482 --> 00:46:19,275 THIS COULD DEFINITELY BE AN OPPORTUNITY 942 00:46:19,275 --> 00:46:22,896 TO REBUILD THE RELATIONSHIP THAT I HAVE WITH MY MOM. 943 00:46:22,896 --> 00:46:25,103 THIS IS A REAL GOOD TIME FOR HER 944 00:46:25,103 --> 00:46:28,068 TO BE A SOLID PRESENCE IN MY LIFE, 945 00:46:28,068 --> 00:46:31,241 SO RIGHT NOW I'M FEELING PRETTY GOOD. 946 00:46:31,241 --> 00:46:38,620 ♪♪ 947 00:46:38,620 --> 00:46:40,275 [ COMPUTER CHIMING ] 948 00:46:40,275 --> 00:46:43,103 HEY, MOM, HOW ARE YOU? 949 00:46:43,103 --> 00:46:45,068 HOW WAS YOUR TRIP? 950 00:46:45,068 --> 00:46:46,310 All right. 951 00:46:46,310 --> 00:46:48,620 YEAH. THAT'S GOOD. 952 00:46:48,620 --> 00:46:50,413 I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO WHEN YOU GET BACK 953 00:46:50,413 --> 00:46:53,379 SO THAT WE CAN HEAD DOWN TO HOUSTON. 954 00:46:53,379 --> 00:46:55,793 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING 955 00:46:55,793 --> 00:46:58,448 BECAUSE I KNOW THIS IS A BIG MOVE 956 00:46:58,448 --> 00:47:05,413 FOR YOU ALL THE WAY OUT TO TEXAS IS KIND OF... 957 00:47:05,413 --> 00:47:07,000 It's a long way to go. 958 00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:10,517 YEAH. IT'S A REALLY LONG WAY TO GO. 959 00:47:10,517 --> 00:47:13,827 SO, DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE READY WHEN YOU GET BACK? 960 00:47:13,827 --> 00:47:14,793 Mm. 961 00:47:14,793 --> 00:47:16,448 Not really. 962 00:47:16,448 --> 00:47:17,793 It's kind of a struggle. 963 00:47:17,793 --> 00:47:20,241 Everything has turned into a struggle right now. 964 00:47:20,241 --> 00:47:22,379 I thought I had a lot of -- well, not a lot, 965 00:47:22,379 --> 00:47:24,103 but I thought I had a couple good prospects 966 00:47:24,103 --> 00:47:29,275 anyway with a job, but that didn't work out, 967 00:47:29,275 --> 00:47:32,689 and it's been a struggle keeping bills paid. 968 00:47:32,689 --> 00:47:35,206 It's been a struggle keeping everything together 969 00:47:35,206 --> 00:47:43,275 and it's just not working, it's falling apart, 970 00:47:43,275 --> 00:47:46,689 which kind of brings me to the whole point of, 971 00:47:46,689 --> 00:47:49,000 I'm not gonna be able to move with you, honey. 972 00:47:52,206 --> 00:47:54,448 I want to. I want to really bad. 973 00:47:54,448 --> 00:47:57,965 I hope you know that, but it's just financially, 974 00:47:57,965 --> 00:47:59,586 there's no way I can do it. 975 00:47:59,586 --> 00:48:01,827 I can't afford things down there, 976 00:48:01,827 --> 00:48:06,517 and it's just not possible. 977 00:48:09,344 --> 00:48:10,724 YEAH. 978 00:48:10,724 --> 00:48:14,586 You know, I hope you realize that I really -- 979 00:48:14,586 --> 00:48:21,931 from the beginning, I wanted to do this with you so bad. 980 00:48:21,931 --> 00:48:23,655 I UNDERSTAND. 981 00:48:27,586 --> 00:48:29,275 I'LL FIND A SOLUTION. 982 00:48:31,862 --> 00:48:35,275 I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO FIND A SOLUTION. 983 00:48:35,275 --> 00:48:39,068 I feel really bad for letting you down again. 984 00:48:39,068 --> 00:48:46,689 I KNOW IT'S NOT WHAT EITHER OF US WANTED, BUT... 985 00:48:46,689 --> 00:48:49,000 I do. I wanted to be there. 986 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:52,275 I'll just have to do it a little bit from a distance. 987 00:48:52,275 --> 00:48:54,620 [ Sniffles ] 988 00:48:54,620 --> 00:48:58,965 I mean, I still support you 100%. 989 00:48:58,965 --> 00:49:01,758 You okay? 990 00:49:01,758 --> 00:49:03,344 YEAH. 991 00:49:03,344 --> 00:49:10,310 I MEAN, I DON'T REALLY HANDLE EMOTIONS VERY WELL. 992 00:49:10,310 --> 00:49:13,310 I know, sweetheart. 993 00:49:13,310 --> 00:49:16,482 I'M FEELING A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED. 994 00:49:16,482 --> 00:49:20,862 REAL THOUGHT RIGHT NOW IS JUST FINDING A SOLUTION. 995 00:49:20,862 --> 00:49:23,551 -Yeah. -THIS IS JUST REALLY BAD TIMING. 996 00:49:23,551 --> 00:49:28,586 IT WOULD JUST BE NICE IF LIFE WORKED OUT THE WAY 997 00:49:28,586 --> 00:49:31,586 THAT WE WANTED IT TO A BIT MORE OFTEN. 998 00:49:31,586 --> 00:49:32,896 Yeah. 999 00:49:32,896 --> 00:49:35,000 You can say that again. 1000 00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:39,310 THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE JOURNEY AS LONG AS YOU HAVE WITH ME. 1001 00:49:39,310 --> 00:49:41,310 I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. 1002 00:49:41,310 --> 00:49:43,517 Okay. ALL RIGHT. 1003 00:49:43,517 --> 00:49:44,827 BYE. 1004 00:49:44,827 --> 00:49:50,206 ♪♪ 1005 00:49:50,206 --> 00:49:53,068 Justin: FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, MY MOM WAS SAYING 1006 00:49:53,068 --> 00:49:54,965 THAT SHE WAS GONNA BE THERE BY MY SIDE 1007 00:49:54,965 --> 00:49:58,862 THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE THING. 1008 00:49:58,862 --> 00:50:02,241 BUT THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME THAT MY MOM 1009 00:50:02,241 --> 00:50:04,517 HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO COME THROUGH. 1010 00:50:09,241 --> 00:50:11,551 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO, 1011 00:50:11,551 --> 00:50:15,034 OR IF I'M EVEN ABLE TO MOVE TO HOUSTON, 1012 00:50:15,034 --> 00:50:18,034 BUT IF I DON'T, THEN IT'S GONNA COST ME THE LAST CHANCE 1013 00:50:18,034 --> 00:50:19,689 I HAVE TO SAVE MY LIFE. 1014 00:50:24,896 --> 00:50:31,103 ♪♪ 1015 00:50:31,103 --> 00:50:37,344 ♪♪ 1016 00:50:37,344 --> 00:50:39,413 Justin: THIS PAST MONTH HAS BEEN HARD, 1017 00:50:39,413 --> 00:50:41,931 AND IT HAS NOT GONE ANYWHERE NEAR HOW I HOPED 1018 00:50:41,931 --> 00:50:43,310 BECAUSE A COUPLE WEEKS AGO, 1019 00:50:43,310 --> 00:50:45,551 I WAS ABOUT READY TO MOVE DOWN TO HOUSTON, 1020 00:50:45,551 --> 00:50:47,448 BUT MY MOM DECIDED THAT SHE'S NOT GONNA BE ABLE 1021 00:50:47,448 --> 00:50:49,551 TO MOVE DOWN WITH ME. 1022 00:50:49,551 --> 00:50:51,448 SO I CALLED MY DAD TO COME UP AND SEE ME 1023 00:50:51,448 --> 00:50:54,068 AND TO HELP ME FIGURE OUT A SOLUTION. 1024 00:50:54,068 --> 00:50:55,758 BUT WHAT HE DOESN'T REALIZE IS THAT 1025 00:50:55,758 --> 00:50:58,068 I'M HOPING HE'LL CONSIDER MOVING TO HOUSTON WITH ME 1026 00:50:58,068 --> 00:50:59,758 SO I CAN DO THIS. 1027 00:50:59,758 --> 00:51:01,931 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 1028 00:51:01,931 --> 00:51:04,448 BECAUSE MY WHOLE LIFE IS HANGING IN THE BALANCE. 1029 00:51:07,517 --> 00:51:09,413 HEY. -WHAT'S UP? 1030 00:51:09,413 --> 00:51:12,448 NOTHING. COME ON IN. 1031 00:51:12,448 --> 00:51:14,137 WHAT'S HAPPENING, FINN? 1032 00:51:16,586 --> 00:51:19,448 YOU BEEN GOOD, BUDDY. 1033 00:51:19,448 --> 00:51:20,931 THANKS FOR COMING OVER. 1034 00:51:20,931 --> 00:51:22,103 MM-HMM. 1035 00:51:22,103 --> 00:51:24,103 I HAD A TALK WITH MOM, 1036 00:51:24,103 --> 00:51:29,034 AND SHE'S NOT GONNA BE MAKING IT TO HOUSTON WITH ME. 1037 00:51:29,034 --> 00:51:32,827 SEE, I WASN'T REALLY SHOCKED ABOUT THAT. 1038 00:51:32,827 --> 00:51:34,724 YEAH. I DON'T KNOW, MAN. 1039 00:51:34,724 --> 00:51:37,206 IT'S DISAPPOINTING BECAUSE I REALLY DID WANT... 1040 00:51:37,206 --> 00:51:38,275 IT'S TERRIBLY DISAPPOINTING, I'M SURE. 1041 00:51:38,275 --> 00:51:40,000 I WANTED IT TO WORK, BUT... 1042 00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,551 WHAT DO YOU DO NOW? WHO DO YOU TAKE? 1043 00:51:42,551 --> 00:51:44,551 I WAS KIND OF HOPING YOU'D BE ABLE TO MAKE IT. 1044 00:51:44,551 --> 00:51:46,965 NOW I'M SHOCKED. 1045 00:51:46,965 --> 00:51:50,758 I KNOW IT'S A LOT TO ASK, AND ON PRETTY SHORT NOTICE. 1046 00:51:50,758 --> 00:51:52,551 YOU GOT TO GO TO HOUSTON? 1047 00:51:52,551 --> 00:51:53,517 HOUSTON, TEXAS. 1048 00:51:53,517 --> 00:51:55,448 WE GOT DOCTORS HERE, DON'T WE? 1049 00:51:55,448 --> 00:51:59,241 YEAH, BUT WE DON'T HAVE DR. NOW. 1050 00:51:59,241 --> 00:52:04,758 SO IF IT COULD WORK OUT, WHEN WOULD WE HAVE TO BE THERE? 1051 00:52:04,758 --> 00:52:08,068 HE WANTS ME THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. 1052 00:52:08,068 --> 00:52:10,551 THAT'S NOT THE ANSWER I WAS LOOKING FOR. 1053 00:52:10,551 --> 00:52:13,000 BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS HE WANTS ME THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE 1054 00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:16,206 BECAUSE OF THE PROGRESS THAT I'VE MADE. 1055 00:52:16,206 --> 00:52:18,310 ALL RIGHT. I CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT LOGIC, THEN, 1056 00:52:18,310 --> 00:52:20,931 I'M GOOD WITH THAT, TOO, THEN. 1057 00:52:20,931 --> 00:52:22,344 DAMN. 1058 00:52:22,344 --> 00:52:23,517 AND IT'S FOR 12 MONTHS? 1059 00:52:23,517 --> 00:52:25,586 -YEAH. -ALL 12 OF THEM? 1060 00:52:25,586 --> 00:52:27,344 YEAH. 1061 00:52:27,344 --> 00:52:29,724 [ SIGHS ] 1062 00:52:29,724 --> 00:52:32,241 I'M NOT TRYING TO PUSH IT ON YOU. 1063 00:52:32,241 --> 00:52:36,724 WELL, IF I HADN'T WITNESSED HOW HARD YOU BEEN WORKING, 1064 00:52:36,724 --> 00:52:39,206 I PROBABLY WOULDN'T EVEN BE CONSIDERING IT. 1065 00:52:39,206 --> 00:52:42,620 AND I'M GRATEFUL THAT YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. 1066 00:52:42,620 --> 00:52:44,655 AND I'M AFRAID IF YOU DON'T DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, 1067 00:52:44,655 --> 00:52:47,310 YOU'RE GONNA WIND UP DEAD. 1068 00:52:47,310 --> 00:52:49,206 YOU'RE NOT WRONG. 1069 00:52:49,206 --> 00:52:50,862 WE'LL COME UP WITH SOMETHING. 1070 00:52:50,862 --> 00:52:52,965 THANK YOU. 1071 00:52:52,965 --> 00:52:55,241 IF IT'S GOT YOU LOSING THE WEIGHT, 1072 00:52:55,241 --> 00:52:56,793 WE'RE GONNA KEEP IT THAT WAY. 1073 00:52:56,793 --> 00:52:58,551 YEAH. ALL RIGHT, DUDE. 1074 00:52:58,551 --> 00:53:00,310 I'M GONNA HEAD TO THE HOUSE. 1075 00:53:03,931 --> 00:53:05,586 Justin: AFTER MY MOM BACKED OUT, 1076 00:53:05,586 --> 00:53:07,517 I WAS FEELING SO EMPTY AND HOPELESS 1077 00:53:07,517 --> 00:53:09,206 FOR THE PAST COUPLE WEEKS, 1078 00:53:09,206 --> 00:53:12,103 SO I'M REALLY THANKFUL FOR MY DAD. 1079 00:53:12,103 --> 00:53:13,413 ALL RIGHT. I LOVE YOU. 1080 00:53:13,413 --> 00:53:14,482 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 1081 00:53:14,482 --> 00:53:16,172 I'LL LET YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES. 1082 00:53:16,172 --> 00:53:18,379 THANK YOU. 1083 00:53:18,379 --> 00:53:21,724 I KNOW HE CARES ABOUT ME AND WANTS ME TO BE ALL RIGHT, 1084 00:53:21,724 --> 00:53:25,172 SO HIM BEING HERE FOR ME NOW MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. 1085 00:53:25,172 --> 00:53:35,172 ♪♪ 1086 00:53:35,172 --> 00:53:37,344 TWO MONTHS HAS PASSED SINCE I TALKED TO MY DAD, 1087 00:53:37,344 --> 00:53:40,310 AND HE SAID HE'D MOVE TO HOUSTON WITH ME. 1088 00:53:40,310 --> 00:53:42,551 IT'S TAKEN A LOT LONGER THAN I EVER WOULD HAVE IMAGINED 1089 00:53:42,551 --> 00:53:44,517 TO FINALLY BE ABLE TO MAKE THIS MOVE, 1090 00:53:44,517 --> 00:53:48,448 BUT I'M JUST REALLY GLAD MY DAD IS READY AND WE'RE DOING THIS. 1091 00:53:48,448 --> 00:53:50,793 HE ALREADY HAS HIS STUFF PACKED UP, 1092 00:53:50,793 --> 00:53:53,413 SO ONCE WE GET ALL MINE LOADED IN THE TRAILER, 1093 00:53:53,413 --> 00:53:56,655 WE'RE HEADED DOWN. 1094 00:53:56,655 --> 00:54:00,275 BUT THIS IS A LOT MORE WORK THAN I EXPECTED. 1095 00:54:00,275 --> 00:54:03,620 I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MUCH STUFF I HAD, 1096 00:54:03,620 --> 00:54:06,241 SO THIS IS A LOT OF ACTIVITY AND LIFTING. 1097 00:54:10,448 --> 00:54:13,000 I STACKED SOME MORE BOXES AS SOON AS YOU GO IN THE DOOR. 1098 00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,551 OKAY. 1099 00:54:14,551 --> 00:54:17,896 WOULD YOU MIND CLEARING OUT SOME MORE SPACE ON THE LEFT? 1100 00:54:17,896 --> 00:54:21,172 YEAH. 1101 00:54:21,172 --> 00:54:23,137 I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT HOW I'M GONNA HANDLE 1102 00:54:23,137 --> 00:54:26,068 BEING ON THE ROAD AND IN A CAR FOR SO LONG. 1103 00:54:26,068 --> 00:54:27,482 BUT THANKFULLY, I'VE BEEN ABLE TO WORK OUT 1104 00:54:27,482 --> 00:54:30,655 THE SAME APARTMENT OPTION I ORIGINALLY HAD. 1105 00:54:30,655 --> 00:54:33,068 SO IT ALL WORKED OUT, AND IT'S A RELIEF TO KNOW 1106 00:54:33,068 --> 00:54:36,241 WE HAVE A PLACE READY TO MOVE INTO ONCE WE GET DOWN THERE, 1107 00:54:36,241 --> 00:54:37,862 BUT I STILL REALLY WOULD HAVE PREFERRED 1108 00:54:37,862 --> 00:54:41,344 MOVING DOWN TO HOUSTON EARLIER BECAUSE IT'S BEEN REALLY HARD 1109 00:54:41,344 --> 00:54:43,517 TRYING TO STICK TO WHAT I NEED FOR SO LONG, 1110 00:54:43,517 --> 00:54:46,758 ESPECIALLY SINCE IT'S BEEN REALLY STRESSFUL AT TIMES. 1111 00:54:46,758 --> 00:54:49,931 SO I'M JUST HOPING I'M PAST THE WORST OF THIS NOW, 1112 00:54:49,931 --> 00:54:52,034 AND ONCE WE GET DOWN THERE, I'LL GET SURGERY, 1113 00:54:52,034 --> 00:54:54,413 AND THINGS WILL START TO GET EASIER. 1114 00:54:54,413 --> 00:54:57,931 BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF PROGRESS I'VE BEEN MAKING. 1115 00:54:57,931 --> 00:55:00,241 DR. NOW TOLD ME HE'S REALLY CONCERNED ABOUT 1116 00:55:00,241 --> 00:55:02,344 HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE I'VE BEEN BACK TO SEE HIM 1117 00:55:02,344 --> 00:55:04,241 AND WHAT THAT COULD MEAN ABOUT MY WEIGHT. 1118 00:55:04,241 --> 00:55:10,482 ♪♪ 1119 00:55:10,482 --> 00:55:13,310 Johnny: JUSTIN HASN'T LIVED WITH ME SINCE HE WENT TO COLLEGE, 1120 00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:15,551 SO WE'RE BOTH GONNA HAVE TO FIGURE OUT 1121 00:55:15,551 --> 00:55:18,517 AND LEARN OURSELVES OVER AGAIN. 1122 00:55:18,517 --> 00:55:20,896 BUT I'M FEELING GOOD ABOUT IT. 1123 00:55:20,896 --> 00:55:23,551 LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, 1124 00:55:23,551 --> 00:55:25,000 BECAUSE HE'S MY SON 1125 00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:27,965 AND I'D DO WHATEVER IT TAKES FOR HIM, YOU KNOW. 1126 00:55:27,965 --> 00:55:29,896 HEY, BUDDY. 1127 00:55:29,896 --> 00:55:31,275 [ WHISTLES ] 1128 00:55:31,275 --> 00:55:33,000 HI, ROCKSTAR, YOU READY TO GO? 1129 00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:35,827 HE TOLD ME ONCE I GOT HERE THAT HE'S GONNA BRING HIS DOG, 1130 00:55:35,827 --> 00:55:38,931 AND I TOLD HIM THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE I WAS GONNA WAIT 1131 00:55:38,931 --> 00:55:40,517 UNTIL I GOT HERE TO BREAK IT TO HIM 1132 00:55:40,517 --> 00:55:42,448 THAT I WAS BRINGING MY BIRD, 1133 00:55:42,448 --> 00:55:45,068 SO I GUESS WE BOTH WENT DOWN THAT ROAD. 1134 00:55:45,068 --> 00:55:47,620 [ LAUGHS ] 1135 00:55:47,620 --> 00:55:49,517 GIVE ME KISSES. 1136 00:55:49,517 --> 00:55:51,413 ON THREE. ON THREE. 1137 00:55:51,413 --> 00:55:53,517 ONE, TWO, THREE.[ BIRD SQUAWKS ] 1138 00:55:53,517 --> 00:55:55,896 GOOD GIRL. 1139 00:55:55,896 --> 00:55:57,448 Justin: DR. NOW SAID THAT IF I HAVEN'T 1140 00:55:57,448 --> 00:55:59,034 CONTINUED TO MAKE PROGRESS 1141 00:55:59,034 --> 00:56:02,379 THAT WE WON'T BE MOVING AHEAD WITH MY WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY, 1142 00:56:02,379 --> 00:56:04,724 AND IF THAT HAPPENS, THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO. 1143 00:56:04,724 --> 00:56:08,275 ALL RIGHT, DUDE, LET'S GO. 1144 00:56:08,275 --> 00:56:11,275 BECAUSE I CAN'T HAVE COME THIS FAR AND WORKED THIS HARD 1145 00:56:11,275 --> 00:56:13,482 JUST TO END UP LOSING IT ALL IN THE END. 1146 00:56:13,482 --> 00:56:16,275 ♪♪ 1147 00:56:23,310 --> 00:56:28,551 ♪♪ 1148 00:56:28,551 --> 00:56:33,862 ♪♪ 1149 00:56:33,862 --> 00:56:37,758 Justin: AFTER TWO DAYS ON THE ROAD, WE'VE MADE IT TO HOUSTON. 1150 00:56:37,758 --> 00:56:42,000 IT WAS A HARD DRIVE, AND I'M EXTREMELY SORE. 1151 00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,931 BEING IN A CAR FOR TWO DAYS HAS TAKEN A BIT OF A TOLL ON ME. 1152 00:56:44,931 --> 00:56:47,689 COME ON, FINN. 1153 00:56:47,689 --> 00:56:49,413 I'M SORRY, BUDDY. 1154 00:56:51,620 --> 00:56:55,862 SO I'M JUST WORN OUT RIGHT NOW, BUT I'M REALLY GLAD TO BE HERE. 1155 00:56:55,862 --> 00:56:58,310 THE ONLY THING IS NOW, WE HAVE TO GET EVERYTHING MOVED IN 1156 00:56:58,310 --> 00:57:00,068 AND THE TRAILER RETURNED TODAY. 1157 00:57:03,827 --> 00:57:05,344 Johnny: I FEEL EXHAUSTED. 1158 00:57:05,344 --> 00:57:07,896 GOT A LOT MORE KINKS IN MY BODY THAN I USED TO, 1159 00:57:07,896 --> 00:57:14,448 SO JUSTIN, HE'S GONNA UNLOAD IT, BUT HE'S EXHAUSTED, TOO. 1160 00:57:14,448 --> 00:57:17,379 I'VE ALREADY SEEN A CHANGE IN HIM, BUT YOU KNOW, I MEAN, 1161 00:57:17,379 --> 00:57:20,172 I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH HE CAN DO BY HIMSELF. 1162 00:57:22,724 --> 00:57:25,310 Justin: THIS HAS ALREADY BEEN HARDER THAN I THOUGHT 1163 00:57:25,310 --> 00:57:28,413 ESPECIALLY AFTER SUCH A LONG TRIP. 1164 00:57:28,413 --> 00:57:30,862 MY DAD'S HAVING A HARD TIME EVEN MOVING AROUND 1165 00:57:30,862 --> 00:57:32,758 BECAUSE HE HAS A BAD BACK INJURY, 1166 00:57:32,758 --> 00:57:34,586 SO HE'S IN SO MUCH PAIN RIGHT NOW, 1167 00:57:34,586 --> 00:57:37,068 AND HE'S NOT IN ANY STATE TO HELP. 1168 00:57:37,068 --> 00:57:40,413 SO THIS IS STARTING TO FEEL LIKE THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH. 1169 00:57:40,413 --> 00:57:45,379 ♪♪ 1170 00:57:45,379 --> 00:57:47,482 [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] 1171 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:51,655 DAD. YEAH. 1172 00:57:51,655 --> 00:57:53,793 I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FINISH THIS TODAY. 1173 00:58:00,103 --> 00:58:01,827 I CAN GET YOUR BED AND STUFF OUT, 1174 00:58:01,827 --> 00:58:03,517 BUT I CAN'T FINISH THIS TODAY. 1175 00:58:05,620 --> 00:58:07,310 I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA PUKE. 1176 00:58:14,241 --> 00:58:17,655 I'LL PAY WHATEVER EXTRA IT COSTS FOR THE LATE FEE. 1177 00:58:17,655 --> 00:58:19,103 I DON'T KNOW, MAN. 1178 00:58:19,103 --> 00:58:21,931 YEAH, IT'S FINE. 1179 00:58:21,931 --> 00:58:25,000 GO INSIDE AND CHILL OUT IN THE A/C. 1180 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:26,724 I'LL GET THE REST OF THIS. 1181 00:58:30,068 --> 00:58:34,344 Justin: I'VE COME A LONG WAY, BUT I'M AT MY LIMIT, 1182 00:58:34,344 --> 00:58:36,793 BUT WE HAVE TO GET EVERYTHING IN TOMORROW 1183 00:58:36,793 --> 00:58:39,000 BECAUSE I CALLED DR. NOW ON THE WAY DOWN AND TOLD HIM 1184 00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,172 THAT I'M FINALLY GONNA BE HERE IN HOUSTON 1185 00:58:41,172 --> 00:58:42,413 AND THAT I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD 1186 00:58:42,413 --> 00:58:44,275 AND MADE A LOT OF PROGRESS AGAIN. 1187 00:58:46,482 --> 00:58:49,689 AND HE SCHEDULED MY SURGERY FOR A FEW DAYS FROM NOW. 1188 00:58:49,689 --> 00:58:51,103 BUT HE TOLD ME IF I WAS WRONG 1189 00:58:51,103 --> 00:58:53,206 AND I SHOW UP AND HAVEN'T MADE THAT PROGRESS 1190 00:58:53,206 --> 00:58:56,896 THEN WE WON'T MOVE AHEAD WITH MY SURGERY. 1191 00:58:56,896 --> 00:58:59,103 SO AS HAPPY AS I AM TO FINALLY BE HERE 1192 00:58:59,103 --> 00:59:00,724 AND TO HAVE A DATE FOR SURGERY, 1193 00:59:00,724 --> 00:59:02,724 I'M EXTREMELY NERVOUS ABOUT THAT. 1194 00:59:02,724 --> 00:59:11,310 ♪♪ 1195 00:59:11,310 --> 00:59:19,931 ♪♪ 1196 00:59:19,931 --> 00:59:23,034 I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY FOR THREE MONTHS, 1197 00:59:23,034 --> 00:59:25,517 BUT I STILL DON'T KNOW IF IT'S GONNA HAPPEN, 1198 00:59:25,517 --> 00:59:28,275 SO I'M JUST TRYING TO HOLD IT TOGETHER. 1199 00:59:28,275 --> 00:59:31,655 I'M FIDGETY AND NERVOUS AND ANXIOUS. 1200 00:59:31,655 --> 00:59:35,034 I JUST WANT THIS DONE. 1201 00:59:35,034 --> 00:59:36,965 HEY, JUSTIN. 1202 00:59:36,965 --> 00:59:40,000 AT MY LAST WEIGH IN, I WAS DOWN TO 595, 1203 00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:41,862 AND DR. NOW TOLD ME I NEED TO MAKE SURE 1204 00:59:41,862 --> 00:59:44,586 I KEPT LOSING A GOOD AMOUNT OF WEIGHT, 1205 00:59:44,586 --> 00:59:47,103 SO I'M HOPING I MADE ENOUGH PROGRESS TO DO THAT. 1206 00:59:47,103 --> 00:59:55,517 ♪♪ 1207 00:59:55,517 --> 00:59:57,241 I WAS HOPING I'D BE IN THE 400s, 1208 00:59:57,241 --> 01:00:02,137 BUT THAT'S ALMOST 90 POUNDS OF WEIGHT LOSS IN THREE MONTHS. 1209 01:00:02,137 --> 01:00:05,034 BUT I GUESS WHAT ULTIMATELY MATTERS IS WHETHER OR NOT 1210 01:00:05,034 --> 01:00:08,206 DR. NOW THINKS IT'S ENOUGH TO MOVE AHEAD WITH MY SURGERY. 1211 01:00:12,965 --> 01:00:13,896 HI, JUSTIN. 1212 01:00:13,896 --> 01:00:15,448 HEY, DR. NOWZARADAN. 1213 01:00:15,448 --> 01:00:17,517 HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? 1214 01:00:17,517 --> 01:00:19,724 ANXIOUS. WELL, THAT'S NORMAL. 1215 01:00:19,724 --> 01:00:22,551 YOU'RE GOING TO SURGERY, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PICNIC. 1216 01:00:22,551 --> 01:00:25,793 SO SURGERY GONNA TAKE ABOUT AN HOUR, 1217 01:00:25,793 --> 01:00:27,827 AND THEN LATER ON, YOU'RE GONNA BE UP 1218 01:00:27,827 --> 01:00:30,793 AND WALKING AND TAKING SOME LIQUID, OKAY? 1219 01:00:30,793 --> 01:00:31,793 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 1220 01:00:31,793 --> 01:00:33,379 WE'LL GET YOU FIXED UP SHORTLY. 1221 01:00:33,379 --> 01:00:36,689 -ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. -ALL RIGHT. TAKE CARE. 1222 01:00:36,689 --> 01:00:38,551 Justin: I GUESS DR. NOW THINKS I'M READY 1223 01:00:38,551 --> 01:00:41,275 SO I'M EXCITED ABOUT THIS AND WHAT IT MEANS. 1224 01:00:41,275 --> 01:00:43,758 I'M READY FOR MY LIFE TO CHANGE. 1225 01:00:43,758 --> 01:00:47,344 I'VE BEEN READY FOR MY LIFE TO CHANGE. 1226 01:00:47,344 --> 01:00:48,551 ALL RIGHT. I LOVE YOU. 1227 01:00:48,551 --> 01:00:51,448 LOVE YOU, TOO. 1228 01:00:51,448 --> 01:00:53,965 I'LL SEE YOU IN A BIT. 1229 01:00:53,965 --> 01:00:57,413 I DON'T THINK THAT'S GONNA BE A PROBLEM. 1230 01:00:57,413 --> 01:01:00,275 I KNOW THAT THERE'S RISKS INVOLVED IN SURGERY, 1231 01:01:00,275 --> 01:01:03,275 BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY DOUBTS OR REGRETS ABOUT THIS. 1232 01:01:03,275 --> 01:01:05,689 THIS NEEDS TO BE DONE. 1233 01:01:05,689 --> 01:01:10,068 SO NO MATTER WHAT, I KNOW I'M MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION 1234 01:01:10,068 --> 01:01:12,827 BECAUSE THIS SURGERY IS GONNA GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK. 1235 01:01:17,448 --> 01:01:19,172 Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY WE ARE ATTEMPTING TO DO 1236 01:01:19,172 --> 01:01:22,517 A GASTRIC SLEEVE PROCEDURE ON JUSTIN. 1237 01:01:22,517 --> 01:01:26,206 HE STAYED DETERMINED AND ON TRACK WITH HIS WEIGHT LOSS, 1238 01:01:26,206 --> 01:01:29,896 SO I FEEL LIKE HE'S MORE THAN READY FOR THIS OPERATION. 1239 01:01:34,379 --> 01:01:36,103 BUT EVEN WITH ALL HIS WEIGHT LOSS, 1240 01:01:36,103 --> 01:01:38,413 HE'S STILL OVER 500 POUNDS, 1241 01:01:38,413 --> 01:01:42,620 AND ANY OPERATION ON A PATIENT THAT SIZE IS VERY HIGH RISK 1242 01:01:42,620 --> 01:01:45,551 BECAUSE THEIR BODY IS ALREADY UNDER SO MUCH STRAIN 1243 01:01:45,551 --> 01:01:49,034 FROM THEIR WEIGHT THAT ANY ADDITIONAL STRESS ON THEIR BODY 1244 01:01:49,034 --> 01:01:51,068 CAN BE ENOUGH TO PUSH IT OVER THE LIMIT 1245 01:01:51,068 --> 01:01:54,517 TO WHERE A LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION CAN DEVELOP AGAIN. 1246 01:01:58,310 --> 01:02:01,724 SO AS ALWAYS, WE'RE GONNA KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON JUSTIN 1247 01:02:01,724 --> 01:02:03,586 AND MAKE SURE THAT THERE IS NOTHING 1248 01:02:03,586 --> 01:02:06,482 THAT HAPPENS THAT CONCERNS US. 1249 01:02:06,482 --> 01:02:08,068 AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING, 1250 01:02:08,068 --> 01:02:10,931 WE WILL HAVE TO END THE OPERATION EARLY, 1251 01:02:10,931 --> 01:02:13,000 BUT HOPEFULLY WE'LL BE ABLE TO COMPLETE 1252 01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,034 JUSTIN'S OPERATION TODAY 1253 01:02:15,034 --> 01:02:17,862 BECAUSE THIS WILL BE AN IMPORTANT TOOL FOR JUSTIN 1254 01:02:17,862 --> 01:02:21,482 TO BE ABLE TO STAY ON TRACK AND CONTINUE LOSING WEIGHT. 1255 01:02:21,482 --> 01:02:24,068 BECAUSE GASTRIC SLEEVE IS AN OPERATION 1256 01:02:24,068 --> 01:02:27,310 THAT REDUCES THE STOMACH BY 90%, 1257 01:02:27,310 --> 01:02:31,758 LEAVING A SMALL, NARROW TUBE THAT LOOKS SIMILAR TO A SLEEVE. 1258 01:02:31,758 --> 01:02:34,034 SO THIS OPERATION WILL GIVE THEM 1259 01:02:34,034 --> 01:02:37,206 AN OPPORTUNITY TO LOSE EVEN MORE WEIGHT. 1260 01:02:40,310 --> 01:02:42,448 Johnny: I'M JUST KIND OF NERVOUS. 1261 01:02:42,448 --> 01:02:43,689 IT'S REALLY HARD TO SIT HERE 1262 01:02:43,689 --> 01:02:45,172 AND WAIT FOR THAT DOCTOR TO COME BACK 1263 01:02:45,172 --> 01:02:47,896 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN TO JUSTIN. 1264 01:02:47,896 --> 01:02:49,413 HE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME, 1265 01:02:49,413 --> 01:02:51,758 AND I'D BE DEVASTATED IF I LOST HIM. 1266 01:03:09,310 --> 01:03:11,862 Dr. Nowzaradan: ALL RIGHT, CAN TURN THE ROOM LIGHT ON. 1267 01:03:16,758 --> 01:03:19,827 OKAY. ALL FINISHED. 1268 01:03:19,827 --> 01:03:22,172 JUSTIN'S SURGERY WENT VERY WELL. 1269 01:03:22,172 --> 01:03:24,241 WE WERE ABLE TO DO THE DISCECTOMY 1270 01:03:24,241 --> 01:03:27,344 AND THERE WERE NO ISSUES OR COMPLICATIONS, 1271 01:03:27,344 --> 01:03:29,586 SO NOW WE TAKE HIM TO RECOVERY, 1272 01:03:29,586 --> 01:03:33,344 AND HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO GO HOME IN A FEW DAYS. 1273 01:03:33,344 --> 01:03:36,034 HE WILL BE ON A LIQUID DIET FOR THE FIRST MONTH, 1274 01:03:36,034 --> 01:03:39,827 SO HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOSE ANOTHER 40 POUNDS IN THAT TIME. 1275 01:03:39,827 --> 01:03:42,413 AND AFTER THAT, HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOSE AT LEAST 1276 01:03:42,413 --> 01:03:46,724 25 POUNDS A MONTH UNTIL HE GETS CLOSE TO HIS TARGET WEIGHT. 1277 01:03:46,724 --> 01:03:49,517 UP TO THIS POINT, JUSTIN HAS STAYED VERY DETERMINED 1278 01:03:49,517 --> 01:03:51,896 AND FOCUSED AND HAS DONE WELL. 1279 01:03:51,896 --> 01:03:55,620 BUT NO MATTER HOW HARD HE'S WILLING TO WORK, AT SOME POINT, 1280 01:03:55,620 --> 01:03:59,551 JUSTIN'S SEVERE EMOTIONAL ISSUES THAT HAVE BEEN DRIVING HIM 1281 01:03:59,551 --> 01:04:02,724 TO EAT FOR YEARS WILL START TO OVERWHELM HIM. 1282 01:04:02,724 --> 01:04:05,862 SO AS SOON AS HE'S RECOVERED ENOUGH FROM HIS SURGERY, 1283 01:04:05,862 --> 01:04:09,241 HE'S GONNA NEED TO START WORKING WITH A PSYCHOTHERAPIST. 1284 01:04:09,241 --> 01:04:11,517 AND IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT HE DOES THAT 1285 01:04:11,517 --> 01:04:14,034 BEFORE THOSE ISSUES COME BACK TO THE SURFACE 1286 01:04:14,034 --> 01:04:17,413 AND START TO DRIVE HIM TO OVEREATING. 1287 01:04:17,413 --> 01:04:20,068 AND IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THAT HAPPENS 1288 01:04:20,068 --> 01:04:21,620 IF WE DON'T DO THIS. 1289 01:04:27,413 --> 01:04:36,379 ♪♪ 1290 01:04:36,379 --> 01:04:45,344 ♪♪ 1291 01:04:45,344 --> 01:04:46,931 Justin: SINCE MY WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY, 1292 01:04:46,931 --> 01:04:48,758 I'VE HAD A CHECKUP WITH DR. NOW 1293 01:04:48,758 --> 01:04:50,620 AND I WAS REALLY EXCITED TO SEE MY WEIGHT 1294 01:04:50,620 --> 01:04:52,965 AND FIND OUT I WAS IN THE 400s. 1295 01:04:52,965 --> 01:04:55,517 SO THE SURGERY'S WORKING, AND I FEEL GOOD AND LIKE, 1296 01:04:55,517 --> 01:04:57,344 THINGS ARE GOING WELL. 1297 01:04:57,344 --> 01:04:58,758 BUT DR. NOW TOLD ME IT'S TIME 1298 01:04:58,758 --> 01:05:00,275 I START THE PROCESS OF ADDRESSING 1299 01:05:00,275 --> 01:05:03,620 THE OTHER ISSUES THAT HAVE LED TO ALL MY WEIGHT GAIN, 1300 01:05:03,620 --> 01:05:05,275 SO I'M HEADED TO MY FIRST APPOINTMENT 1301 01:05:05,275 --> 01:05:07,517 WITH A THERAPIST TODAY. 1302 01:05:07,517 --> 01:05:09,620 AND OVERALL, I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT IT, 1303 01:05:09,620 --> 01:05:10,896 BUT I KNOW IT'S SOMETHING IMPORTANT 1304 01:05:10,896 --> 01:05:14,103 I HAVE TO DO, SO I'M WILLING TO DO IT. 1305 01:05:18,310 --> 01:05:20,172 HI, I'M DR. PARADISE. 1306 01:05:20,172 --> 01:05:22,137 JUSTIN. GOOD TO MEET YOU. 1307 01:05:22,137 --> 01:05:23,103 -YOU TOO. -COME ON IN. 1308 01:05:23,103 --> 01:05:24,068 YEAH. 1309 01:05:28,275 --> 01:05:29,517 SO I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 1310 01:05:29,517 --> 01:05:30,931 THANK YOU.TELL ME ABOUT GROWING UP. 1311 01:05:30,931 --> 01:05:32,827 WHO WAS IN YOUR HOUSE GROWING UP? 1312 01:05:32,827 --> 01:05:37,862 I GREW UP WITH MY DAD, MY STEPMOM, A STEPSISTER, 1313 01:05:37,862 --> 01:05:39,551 AND A HALF SISTER. 1314 01:05:39,551 --> 01:05:41,241 OKAY. SO YOU GREW UP IN THAT HOUSE. 1315 01:05:41,241 --> 01:05:43,310 WHERE WAS YOUR BIOLOGICAL MOM? 1316 01:05:43,310 --> 01:05:46,448 MY ACTUAL MOM CAME IN AND OUT A LOT. 1317 01:05:46,448 --> 01:05:52,448 SHE HAD SOME ISSUES WITH DRUGS AND SHE'D SORT OF DROP OFF 1318 01:05:52,448 --> 01:05:54,448 THE FACE OF THE EARTH FOR, YOU KNOW, A MONTH... 1319 01:05:54,448 --> 01:05:55,931 WOW. YEAH. ...OR YEARS. 1320 01:05:55,931 --> 01:05:57,586 DO YOU REMEMBER HAVING FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR MOM 1321 01:05:57,586 --> 01:05:59,862 BEING SO INCONSISTENT? 1322 01:05:59,862 --> 01:06:01,206 YEAH. 1323 01:06:01,206 --> 01:06:06,068 I REMEMBER FEELING LIKE LIFE WAS UNFAIR, 1324 01:06:06,068 --> 01:06:12,965 AND LOOKING BACK AT IT NOW, 1325 01:06:12,965 --> 01:06:16,827 I FEEL LIKE I ACTED OUT A LITTLE BIT BECAUSE OF THAT. 1326 01:06:16,827 --> 01:06:20,275 A LOT OF IT WAS TURNING TO FOOD. 1327 01:06:20,275 --> 01:06:24,103 HAVE YOU EVER EXPRESSED ANY DISAPPOINTMENT TO HER? 1328 01:06:24,103 --> 01:06:28,068 HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO HER ABOUT NOT BEING AROUND? 1329 01:06:28,068 --> 01:06:31,448 NO, ACTUALLY, IT'S THE OPPOSITE WITH MY MOM, 1330 01:06:31,448 --> 01:06:34,758 ESPECIALLY GROWING UP, I DID NOT STAND UP FOR MYSELF. 1331 01:06:34,758 --> 01:06:37,413 I WONDER WHAT AFFECT THAT'S HAD ON YOU. 1332 01:06:37,413 --> 01:06:38,793 PROBABLY NOT A GOOD ONE. 1333 01:06:38,793 --> 01:06:42,000 WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE HOLDING A LOT BACK. 1334 01:06:44,379 --> 01:06:46,137 -YEAH. -OKAY. 1335 01:06:46,137 --> 01:06:47,482 I WONDER IF THERE ARE OPPORTUNITIES 1336 01:06:47,482 --> 01:06:49,448 TO STICK UP FOR YOURSELF WITH YOUR MOM 1337 01:06:49,448 --> 01:06:53,517 IN WAYS THAT INCREASE YOUR SELF-WORTH MOVING FORWARD. 1338 01:06:53,517 --> 01:06:55,137 HAVE YOU FORGIVEN HER? 1339 01:06:55,137 --> 01:06:59,000 I FORGIVE HER, BUT THAT -- I MEAN, THERE'S A DIFFERENCE 1340 01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:01,724 BETWEEN FORGIVING AND FORGETTING. 1341 01:07:01,724 --> 01:07:04,724 SHE'S THE ONE WHO TOLD ME IF I DON'T GET MY HOPES UP, 1342 01:07:04,724 --> 01:07:06,517 I CAN'T BE DISAPPOINTED. 1343 01:07:06,517 --> 01:07:08,689 OH, SHE TOLD YOU THAT?YEAH. 1344 01:07:08,689 --> 01:07:11,103 LET'S BRING IT UP TO THE PRESENT. 1345 01:07:11,103 --> 01:07:15,034 WHAT ARE THE BIG OBSTACLES FOR YOU RIGHT NOW? 1346 01:07:15,034 --> 01:07:17,586 ANXIETY IS MY BIGGEST ISSUE.OKAY. 1347 01:07:17,586 --> 01:07:22,551 THE BIGGEST TRIGGERS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN LEAVING THE HOUSE 1348 01:07:22,551 --> 01:07:25,448 AND GOING OUT. 1349 01:07:25,448 --> 01:07:28,413 ONE OF THE WORST THINGS YOU CAN DO FOR ANXIETY 1350 01:07:28,413 --> 01:07:34,000 IS TO DO THE DYSFUNCTIONAL THING THAT MAKES IT GO AWAY. 1351 01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,206 SO IF YOU'RE FEELING ANXIOUS ABOUT STAYING IN THE HOUSE 1352 01:07:36,206 --> 01:07:38,068 AND THEN YOU DON'T GO OUT, 1353 01:07:38,068 --> 01:07:41,413 IT INCREASES YOUR ANXIETY THE NEXT TIME. 1354 01:07:41,413 --> 01:07:43,482 IT BUILDS THE ANXIETY. 1355 01:07:43,482 --> 01:07:45,724 SO WHEN YOU'RE FEELING ANXIOUS ABOUT GOING OUT, 1356 01:07:45,724 --> 01:07:49,000 THAT'S EVEN MORE REASON TO LEAVE THE HOUSE 1357 01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:53,241 BECAUSE THAT WILL, OVER TIME, DESENSITIZE YOU TO THAT FEELING. 1358 01:07:53,241 --> 01:07:56,827 SORT OF LIKE JUST FACING YOUR FEARS HEAD ON? 1359 01:07:56,827 --> 01:07:58,862 -YEAH. -OKAY. 1360 01:07:58,862 --> 01:08:01,862 I WANT TO BE HOPEFUL FOR YOU. 1361 01:08:01,862 --> 01:08:03,034 YEAH. 1362 01:08:03,034 --> 01:08:05,655 I HOPE YOU KEEP ON LOSING WEIGHT. 1363 01:08:05,655 --> 01:08:07,379 THANK YOU. 1364 01:08:09,862 --> 01:08:11,206 I APPRECIATE YOUR COMING IN. 1365 01:08:11,206 --> 01:08:12,413 YEAH, THANK YOU.GREAT TO MEET YOU. 1366 01:08:12,413 --> 01:08:15,206 YOU TOO. 1367 01:08:15,206 --> 01:08:16,137 TAKE CARE. 1368 01:08:16,137 --> 01:08:20,655 ♪♪ 1369 01:08:20,655 --> 01:08:23,275 Justin: I FEEL LIKE HE GAVE ME SOME GOOD ADVICE, 1370 01:08:23,275 --> 01:08:25,379 BUT I KNOW THE BIG THING IS STARTING THAT PROCESS 1371 01:08:25,379 --> 01:08:28,241 OF ADDRESSING ALL THE EMOTIONAL ISSUES THAT I NEED. 1372 01:08:28,241 --> 01:08:31,275 AND I KNOW MY MOM IS A BIG PART OF THAT 1373 01:08:31,275 --> 01:08:33,137 BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT OF PAIN AND REJECTION 1374 01:08:33,137 --> 01:08:34,379 FROM THE THINGS SHE DID 1375 01:08:34,379 --> 01:08:36,758 AND HOW SHE TREATED ME WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. 1376 01:08:36,758 --> 01:08:38,689 AND EVEN NOW, BECAUSE SHE'S STILL KIND OF 1377 01:08:38,689 --> 01:08:41,000 DOING THE SAME THINGS TO ME. 1378 01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:43,275 SO I HAVE NO QUESTION THAT THIS IS SOMETHING IMPORTANT 1379 01:08:43,275 --> 01:08:45,206 FOR ME TO DO. 1380 01:08:45,206 --> 01:08:47,620 BUT AT THE SAME TIME, IT'S SCARY AND I DON'T KNOW 1381 01:08:47,620 --> 01:08:50,275 IF I'M GONNA HAVE THE NERVE TO DO IT, 1382 01:08:50,275 --> 01:08:52,344 SO I JUST NEED TO TRY AND WORK MYSELF UP 1383 01:08:52,344 --> 01:08:54,344 TO A PLACE WHERE I'M READY FOR THAT. 1384 01:08:54,344 --> 01:09:02,137 ♪♪ 1385 01:09:02,137 --> 01:09:09,862 ♪♪ 1386 01:09:09,862 --> 01:09:12,620 THIS PAST MONTH OVERALL HAS BEEN GOOD 1387 01:09:12,620 --> 01:09:16,482 BECAUSE I'M STAYING FOCUSED RIGHT NOW. 1388 01:09:16,482 --> 01:09:18,655 IT'S JUST MY EMOTIONS THAT FEEL LIKE THEY'VE ALL COME 1389 01:09:18,655 --> 01:09:20,586 TO THE SURFACE RIGHT NOW. 1390 01:09:20,586 --> 01:09:24,482 AND I KNOW IT'S STUFF I HAVE TO DEAL WITH, 1391 01:09:24,482 --> 01:09:26,551 SO I'VE PLANNED A TRIP BACK TO SOUTH CAROLINA 1392 01:09:26,551 --> 01:09:30,206 AND I'M LEAVING TODAY TO GO BACK. 1393 01:09:30,206 --> 01:09:32,379 AND I'M HOPING TO SEE SOME FAMILY 1394 01:09:32,379 --> 01:09:34,586 AND MAYBE CHECK ON MY HOUSE IF I'M ABLE. 1395 01:09:36,655 --> 01:09:38,413 BUT THE BIG REASON IS TO SEE MY MOM 1396 01:09:38,413 --> 01:09:39,793 AND HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HER 1397 01:09:39,793 --> 01:09:41,551 ABOUT SOME THINGS THAT SHE'S DONE THAT HURT ME 1398 01:09:41,551 --> 01:09:43,241 AND STILL HURT ME TODAY. 1399 01:09:45,517 --> 01:09:48,034 EVER SINCE DR. PARADISE BROUGHT UP DOING THIS, 1400 01:09:48,034 --> 01:09:49,896 JUST THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME SO NERVOUS 1401 01:09:49,896 --> 01:09:53,206 THAT I START TO GET NAUSEOUS. 1402 01:09:53,206 --> 01:09:56,241 SO I KNOW DOING THIS ISN'T GOING TO BE EASY. 1403 01:09:56,241 --> 01:09:57,413 AND WHEN I SIT DOWN WITH HER, 1404 01:09:57,413 --> 01:10:00,758 I'M GONNA BE JUST ABOUT TERRIFIED. 1405 01:10:00,758 --> 01:10:03,689 SO I HOPE I DON'T COMPLETELY LOSE MY NERVE 1406 01:10:03,689 --> 01:10:05,896 BECAUSE I KNOW DOING THIS IS VITAL. 1407 01:10:09,413 --> 01:10:12,724 I'D LIKE TO HOPEFULLY MOVE FORWARD 1408 01:10:12,724 --> 01:10:16,379 WITH A FEW OF THE ISSUES THAT WE'VE YET TO RESOLVE. 1409 01:10:19,137 --> 01:10:20,862 MY PHYSICAL DRIVE TO EAT IS GONE, 1410 01:10:20,862 --> 01:10:23,551 SO IT'S NOT AN EXCUSE ANYMORE. 1411 01:10:23,551 --> 01:10:25,137 AND WITH ALL THE EMOTIONS AND STUFF, 1412 01:10:25,137 --> 01:10:28,517 I KNOW I CAN'T RUN ANYMORE. 1413 01:10:28,517 --> 01:10:30,310 I KNOW I HAVE TO START TO DEAL WITH THEM, 1414 01:10:30,310 --> 01:10:32,000 OR IT WILL BE JUST A MATTER OF TIME 1415 01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:34,931 BEFORE I START GOING BACK TO MY OLD HABITS 1416 01:10:34,931 --> 01:10:38,551 AND USING FOOD TO DEAL WITH IT ALL. 1417 01:10:38,551 --> 01:10:40,034 YOU'RE CHECKING ONE BAG? 1418 01:10:40,034 --> 01:10:41,517 YEP. 1419 01:10:41,517 --> 01:10:43,206 OKAY. THANK YOU. 1420 01:10:46,344 --> 01:10:49,827 SO I CAN EITHER TAKE THIS CHANCE AND DO WHAT I HAVE TO, 1421 01:10:49,827 --> 01:10:52,827 OR I CAN TRY TO BURY IT ALL AND IGNORE IT. 1422 01:10:52,827 --> 01:10:54,655 BUT IF I DO THAT, I KNOW I'LL JUST END UP 1423 01:10:54,655 --> 01:10:57,241 GAINING ALL THE WEIGHT BACK. 1424 01:10:57,241 --> 01:10:59,655 AND ONCE THAT HAPPENS, 1425 01:10:59,655 --> 01:11:03,068 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK TO WHERE I WAS BEFORE I STARTED ALL THIS. 1426 01:11:06,758 --> 01:11:12,000 ONLY THIS TIME, I WON'T HAVE ANY OPTIONS OR HOPE LEFT, 1427 01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:15,482 SO I HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH AND DO THIS 1428 01:11:15,482 --> 01:11:16,758 BECAUSE IF I LET FEAR 1429 01:11:16,758 --> 01:11:19,758 AND MY EMOTIONS CONTINUE TO CONTROL ME, 1430 01:11:19,758 --> 01:11:21,206 THEN IT'S GONNA COST ME MY LIFE. 1431 01:11:27,241 --> 01:11:34,965 ♪♪ 1432 01:11:34,965 --> 01:11:37,448 Justin: I'M BACK IN SOUTH CAROLINA RIGHT NOW. 1433 01:11:37,448 --> 01:11:39,068 I GOT BACK IN LAST NIGHT, 1434 01:11:39,068 --> 01:11:41,206 AND THE TRIP HERE WAS REALLY ENCOURAGING 1435 01:11:41,206 --> 01:11:43,724 BECAUSE I COULD FIT IN MY SEAT ON THE PLANE A LOT BETTER, 1436 01:11:43,724 --> 01:11:46,551 AND I DIDN'T GET NEARLY AS WINDED WITH ALL THE ACTIVITY. 1437 01:11:49,068 --> 01:11:52,000 SO I CAN SEE WAYS I'M MAKING A LOT OF PROGRESS. 1438 01:11:52,000 --> 01:11:53,655 AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE I KEEP DOING THAT 1439 01:11:53,655 --> 01:11:57,862 AND HEADING IN THE POSITIVE DIRECTION I AM NOW. 1440 01:11:57,862 --> 01:12:00,689 AND ONE BIG STEP IN DOING THAT IS TALKING TO MY MOM 1441 01:12:00,689 --> 01:12:03,620 ABOUT SOME THINGS SHE'S DONE THAT HAVE HURT ME 1442 01:12:03,620 --> 01:12:06,000 ESPECIALLY MOST RECENTLY WITH HER BACKING OUT 1443 01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:08,482 OF HER COMMITMENT TO COME TO HOUSTON WITH ME 1444 01:12:08,482 --> 01:12:11,517 AND BEING THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEEDED HER THE MOST. 1445 01:12:11,517 --> 01:12:14,620 MY FEAR IS THAT WORST CASE, SHE COULD JUST LEAVE AND VANISH 1446 01:12:14,620 --> 01:12:17,034 FROM MY LIFE LIKE SHE HAS BEFORE, 1447 01:12:17,034 --> 01:12:19,172 AND THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME I SEE HER. 1448 01:12:19,172 --> 01:12:25,034 ♪♪ 1449 01:12:25,034 --> 01:12:27,068 HI. HEY. 1450 01:12:27,068 --> 01:12:28,793 OH, MY GOD. 1451 01:12:28,793 --> 01:12:30,517 LOOK AT YOU. 1452 01:12:33,379 --> 01:12:34,827 YOU LOOK AMAZING. 1453 01:12:34,827 --> 01:12:36,379 THANK YOU. 1454 01:12:36,379 --> 01:12:39,034 WOW. 1455 01:12:39,034 --> 01:12:40,379 HOW ARE YOU? 1456 01:12:40,379 --> 01:12:42,241 I'M ALL RIGHT. YOU? 1457 01:12:42,241 --> 01:12:43,931 PRETTY GOOD. 1458 01:12:45,965 --> 01:12:48,206 OH, MY GOSH. I'M GONNA CRY. 1459 01:12:48,206 --> 01:12:50,620 I'M SORRY. 1460 01:12:50,620 --> 01:12:52,241 THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 1461 01:12:52,241 --> 01:12:53,793 SO HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 1462 01:12:53,793 --> 01:12:54,758 I'M GOOD. 1463 01:12:54,758 --> 01:12:56,172 YEAH. I FEEL A LOT BETTER. 1464 01:12:56,172 --> 01:12:58,000 I BET. THAT'S GOOD. 1465 01:12:58,000 --> 01:12:59,862 STILL GOT A WAYS TO GO, BUT IT'S... 1466 01:12:59,862 --> 01:13:01,413 YOU'RE HALF... YEAH. 1467 01:13:01,413 --> 01:13:02,862 ...THE PERSON THAT YOU WERE. 1468 01:13:02,862 --> 01:13:07,137 -YEAH. -IT'S ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. 1469 01:13:07,137 --> 01:13:09,724 -ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. -THANK YOU. 1470 01:13:09,724 --> 01:13:11,068 -YOU'RE WELCOME. -THANK YOU. 1471 01:13:11,068 --> 01:13:13,068 ALL RIGHT. THANK Y'ALL VERY MUCH. 1472 01:13:13,068 --> 01:13:16,241 THANK YOU.YOU'RE WELCOME. 1473 01:13:16,241 --> 01:13:17,724 SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE GETTING ALONG REALLY WELL. 1474 01:13:17,724 --> 01:13:19,862 I'M TRYING. 1475 01:13:19,862 --> 01:13:24,758 EVERY DAY IS WORK, BUT THERE ARE SOME THINGS 1476 01:13:24,758 --> 01:13:27,689 I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. 1477 01:13:27,689 --> 01:13:29,206 OKAY. 1478 01:13:29,206 --> 01:13:31,896 COMING TO HOUSTON, WHENEVER I WOULD ASK YOU QUESTIONS 1479 01:13:31,896 --> 01:13:33,379 OR TRY TO PLAN, 1480 01:13:33,379 --> 01:13:38,034 YOU WOULD EITHER CHANGE THE SUBJECT OR GET FRUSTRATED, 1481 01:13:38,034 --> 01:13:42,310 AND THAT'S ALWAYS BEEN A RED FLAG TO ME 1482 01:13:42,310 --> 01:13:47,379 THAT IT WASN'T GONNA HAPPEN. 1483 01:13:47,379 --> 01:13:50,586 IN MY HEART, I WANTED TO BE THERE. 1484 01:13:50,586 --> 01:13:54,586 THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY... 1485 01:13:54,586 --> 01:14:00,206 I REALLY DID WANT FOR US TO HAVE THAT CHANCE 1486 01:14:00,206 --> 01:14:01,517 TO BUILD THE RELATIONSHIP 1487 01:14:01,517 --> 01:14:04,137 THAT WE NEVER HAD THE OPPORTUNITY FOR. 1488 01:14:04,137 --> 01:14:06,724 SO DID I. 1489 01:14:06,724 --> 01:14:10,793 AND WHEN THINGS DIDN'T HAPPEN, I ACTUALLY FELT GUILTY 1490 01:14:10,793 --> 01:14:13,758 BECAUSE I WAS A LITTLE RELIEVED WHEN IT WAS DAD 1491 01:14:13,758 --> 01:14:16,275 WHO ENDED UP COMING OUT THERE WITH ME INSTEAD 1492 01:14:16,275 --> 01:14:21,206 BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE THAT FEAR YOU WERE GONNA HAVE TO LEAVE, 1493 01:14:21,206 --> 01:14:24,103 AND I WAS GONNA BE STUCK OUT THERE ALONE, ESPECIALLY... 1494 01:14:24,103 --> 01:14:26,413 I WOULD NEVER HAVE JUST UP AND LEFT, JUSTIN. 1495 01:14:26,413 --> 01:14:29,655 BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU DO IS YOU JUST UP AND LEAVE. 1496 01:14:31,724 --> 01:14:33,448 THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE. 1497 01:14:33,448 --> 01:14:35,482 AND ALL I CAN EVER DO IS SAY THAT I'M SORRY 1498 01:14:35,482 --> 01:14:37,344 FOR NOT BEING THE MOTHER THAT YOU DESERVE. 1499 01:14:39,310 --> 01:14:44,551 I JUST KIND OF FEEL LIKE AFTER ALL THIS TIME AND EVERYTHING... 1500 01:14:48,275 --> 01:14:50,724 I DON'T KNOW IF WORDS ARE ENOUGH. 1501 01:14:50,724 --> 01:14:54,655 I JUST HAVE TO SEE A CHANGE. 1502 01:14:54,655 --> 01:14:59,034 WHAT KIND OF CHANGE ARE YOU WANTING TO SEE? 1503 01:14:59,034 --> 01:15:03,758 BECAUSE I'M WILLING TO DO WHAT I NEED TO DO. 1504 01:15:03,758 --> 01:15:05,344 I JUST NEED TO BE ABLE TO RELY ON YOU. 1505 01:15:05,344 --> 01:15:12,068 I NEED TO SEE THE STABILITY BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I THINK 1506 01:15:12,068 --> 01:15:15,344 I'VE ALWAYS BEEN MISSING FROM YOU IS STABILITY. 1507 01:15:15,344 --> 01:15:19,655 I THINK THAT'S A FAIR ASSESSMENT. 1508 01:15:19,655 --> 01:15:25,758 I REALLY DO BECAUSE I'VE NEVER BEEN STABLE FOR YOU. 1509 01:15:25,758 --> 01:15:27,241 I LOVE YOU, SWEETHEART. 1510 01:15:27,241 --> 01:15:30,758 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 1511 01:15:30,758 --> 01:15:32,551 CAN I HAVE A HUG? 1512 01:15:36,413 --> 01:15:38,103 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. 1513 01:15:38,103 --> 01:15:39,793 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 1514 01:15:39,793 --> 01:15:45,689 ♪♪ 1515 01:15:45,689 --> 01:15:48,655 YOU GONNA BE OKAY? 1516 01:15:48,655 --> 01:15:52,034 YEAH. YOU? 1517 01:15:52,034 --> 01:15:55,275 YEAH, AS SOON AS I CAN PUT SOME ICE PACKS ON MY EYEBALLS. 1518 01:15:55,275 --> 01:15:57,655 [ LAUGHS ] 1519 01:16:01,103 --> 01:16:02,793 ALL RIGHT. CALL ME, PLEASE. 1520 01:16:02,793 --> 01:16:04,517 -I WILL. -OKAY. 1521 01:16:06,827 --> 01:16:09,310 Justin: I THINK THE TALK WITH MY MOM WENT VERY WELL, 1522 01:16:09,310 --> 01:16:11,862 AND I'M GLAD THAT I DID IT. 1523 01:16:11,862 --> 01:16:14,896 IT'S NOT LIKE OUR RELATIONSHIP IS MAGICALLY HEALED, 1524 01:16:14,896 --> 01:16:17,448 BUT I FEEL LIKE I STOOD UP FOR MYSELF, 1525 01:16:17,448 --> 01:16:18,931 AND LIKE WE HAVE SOMETHING TO BUILD ON 1526 01:16:18,931 --> 01:16:22,931 TO ACTUALLY HAVE A REAL RELATIONSHIP IN THE FUTURE. 1527 01:16:22,931 --> 01:16:25,034 BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA LET THINGS SETTLE DOWN 1528 01:16:25,034 --> 01:16:27,517 AND SEE HOW THE NEXT MONTH OR TWO GOES BETWEEN US, 1529 01:16:27,517 --> 01:16:29,931 AND THEN FIGURE IT OUT FROM THERE. 1530 01:16:29,931 --> 01:16:31,517 BUT I FELT THIS WAS VERY POSITIVE 1531 01:16:31,517 --> 01:16:33,517 AND A BIG STEP FOR BOTH OF US, 1532 01:16:33,517 --> 01:16:36,172 AND I'M HOPING THAT'S REFLECTED IN MY WEIGHT LOSS. 1533 01:16:36,172 --> 01:16:38,068 SO I HOPE WHEN I STEP ON THAT SCALE, 1534 01:16:38,068 --> 01:16:40,689 I'M BACK MAKING THE PROGRESS I SHOULD. 1535 01:16:40,689 --> 01:16:43,793 IF NOT, THEN I'M NOT SURE WHAT ELSE I NEED TO DO. 1536 01:16:50,206 --> 01:16:57,448 ♪♪ 1537 01:16:57,448 --> 01:17:04,862 ♪♪ 1538 01:17:04,862 --> 01:17:06,448 Justin: ME AND MY DAD ARE AT DR. NOW'S 1539 01:17:06,448 --> 01:17:08,137 FOR MY NEXT APPOINTMENT. 1540 01:17:08,137 --> 01:17:10,241 I FEEL LIKE I'VE MADE SOME PROGRESS. 1541 01:17:10,241 --> 01:17:13,586 I JUST HOPE IT'S ENOUGH. 1542 01:17:13,586 --> 01:17:15,517 JUSTIN? 1543 01:17:15,517 --> 01:17:17,068 AT MY LAST WEIGH IN TWO MONTHS AGO, 1544 01:17:17,068 --> 01:17:19,241 I WAS DOWN TO 446. 1545 01:17:19,241 --> 01:17:21,275 AND DR. NOW SAID I SHOULD BE LOSING AT LEAST 1546 01:17:21,275 --> 01:17:23,379 20 POUNDS A MONTH AT THIS POINT. 1547 01:17:23,379 --> 01:17:25,068 SO IF I'M BACK ON TRACK, THAT WILL MEAN 1548 01:17:25,068 --> 01:17:27,448 I'LL AT LEAST BE BELOW 406 TODAY. 1549 01:17:27,448 --> 01:17:32,793 ♪♪ 1550 01:17:32,793 --> 01:17:35,413 THAT'S A GOOD ONE. -THAT'S KILLING IT, MAN. 1551 01:17:35,413 --> 01:17:37,551 -THAT'S A REALLY GOOD ONE. -IT'S KILLING IT. 1552 01:17:37,551 --> 01:17:42,379 THAT'S A LOT LOWER THAN WHAT IT'S BEEN IN A LONG TIME. 1553 01:17:42,379 --> 01:17:43,655 THAT'S CRAZY. 1554 01:17:43,655 --> 01:17:45,206 SUCH A LONG TIME. 1555 01:17:45,206 --> 01:17:47,620 THANK YOU. SORRY. 1556 01:17:47,620 --> 01:17:49,000 Justin: I'M REALLY EXCITED RIGHT NOW 1557 01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:52,758 BECAUSE I'M MORE THAN BACK ON TRACK. 1558 01:17:52,758 --> 01:17:56,379 AND TO SEE A 3 COME UP BEFORE MY WEIGHT IS AMAZING, 1559 01:17:56,379 --> 01:17:59,517 SO I HOPE DR. NOW'S HAPPY WITH WHERE I'M AT 1560 01:17:59,517 --> 01:18:02,241 BECAUSE I AM AND I FEEL REALLY GOOD RIGHT NOW. 1561 01:18:05,689 --> 01:18:07,344 -HELLO. -HEY. 1562 01:18:07,344 --> 01:18:08,310 HOW Y'ALL DOING? 1563 01:18:08,310 --> 01:18:09,689 GOOD. HOW ARE YOU, DOCTOR? 1564 01:18:09,689 --> 01:18:14,275 SO, JUSTIN, YOU ARE DOWN TO 395 TODAY. 1565 01:18:14,275 --> 01:18:15,655 YES, SIR. 1566 01:18:15,655 --> 01:18:19,620 AND YOU HAVE LOST 292 POUNDS FROM DAY 1 I SAW YOU. 1567 01:18:19,620 --> 01:18:21,034 YEAH. 1568 01:18:21,034 --> 01:18:24,448 SO THAT'S ALMOST LOSS OF 300 POUNDS IN A YEAR. 1569 01:18:24,448 --> 01:18:26,965 THAT'S EXCELLENT. YOU'RE DOING GREAT. 1570 01:18:26,965 --> 01:18:29,206 HOW YOU FEEL LOSING ALL THAT WEIGHT? 1571 01:18:29,206 --> 01:18:32,137 INCREDIBLE. IT JUST MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT. 1572 01:18:32,137 --> 01:18:33,689 WELL, I'M PROUD OF YOU. 1573 01:18:33,689 --> 01:18:37,310 AND AT THIS RATE, YOU'RE GONNA NEED EXTRA SKIN REMOVAL SOON. 1574 01:18:37,310 --> 01:18:40,344 ANY EXTRA SKIN IS ANY PROBLEM WITH YOU? 1575 01:18:40,344 --> 01:18:43,000 YEAH, THERE'S DEFINITELY SOME EXTRA SKIN... 1576 01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:44,586 EVERYWHERE? YEAH. 1577 01:18:44,586 --> 01:18:48,379 MOSTLY UNDER MY ARMS AND LIKE MY THIGHS, 1578 01:18:48,379 --> 01:18:53,344 BUT IT HASN'T REALLY CAUSED ANY PROBLEMS YET. 1579 01:18:53,344 --> 01:18:56,827 THAT'S GOOD, BUT I THINK THE AREA AROUND YOUR ABDOMEN 1580 01:18:56,827 --> 01:19:01,068 IS GOING TO BE WHERE YOU START TO FEEL THE MOST DISCOMFORT SOON 1581 01:19:01,068 --> 01:19:04,586 BECAUSE I CAN ALREADY SEE A LOT HANGING OFF OF YOU THERE. 1582 01:19:04,586 --> 01:19:05,827 YEAH. 1583 01:19:05,827 --> 01:19:08,068 SO ONCE YOU GET UNDER 300 HERE SOON, 1584 01:19:08,068 --> 01:19:09,896 WE WILL CONSIDER YOU FOR THAT. 1585 01:19:09,896 --> 01:19:11,068 ALL RIGHT. THAT SOUNDS AWESOME. 1586 01:19:11,068 --> 01:19:12,241 THANK YOU.ALL RIGHT? 1587 01:19:12,241 --> 01:19:13,965 I'M PROUD OF YOUR PROGRESS. 1588 01:19:13,965 --> 01:19:15,655 -THANK YOU. -AND I'LL SEE YOU SOON. 1589 01:19:15,655 --> 01:19:16,965 THANK YOU.ALL RIGHT. 1590 01:19:16,965 --> 01:19:17,931 THANK YOU AGAIN, SIR. 1591 01:19:17,931 --> 01:19:19,655 ALL RIGHT. TAKE CARE. 1592 01:19:23,724 --> 01:19:25,413 LET'S GO LOSE SOME MORE WEIGHT. 1593 01:19:25,413 --> 01:19:26,862 YEAH. 1594 01:19:26,862 --> 01:19:29,448 I'M VERY PROUD OF JUSTIN AND ALL THE PROGRESS 1595 01:19:29,448 --> 01:19:32,068 HE HAS MADE OVER THE PAST YEAR. 1596 01:19:32,068 --> 01:19:36,103 HE'S DONE GREAT, AND HE HAS BEEN ONE OF THE MOST DETERMINED 1597 01:19:36,103 --> 01:19:40,000 AND HARD-WORKING WEIGHT-LOSS PATIENT I HAVE EVER HAD. 1598 01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:42,931 AND AS LONG AS HE CONTINUES GOING TO THERAPY 1599 01:19:42,931 --> 01:19:45,931 AND WORKING THROUGH HIS EMOTIONAL ISSUES, 1600 01:19:45,931 --> 01:19:47,344 I'M VERY CONFIDENT 1601 01:19:47,344 --> 01:19:50,586 HE'S GOING TO MAKE IT TO HIS TARGET WEIGHT SOON, 1602 01:19:50,586 --> 01:19:54,000 AND THEN BE ABLE TO DO THIS FOR THE LONG-TERM. 1603 01:19:56,103 --> 01:19:58,517 Justin: IT FEELS REALLY GOOD TO BE AT THIS POINT 1604 01:19:58,517 --> 01:20:01,689 AFTER WORKING AS HARD AS I HAVE FOR SO LONG. 1605 01:20:01,689 --> 01:20:04,931 AND I CAN'T WAIT TO KEEP GOING AND MAKE EVEN MORE PROGRESS. 1606 01:20:04,931 --> 01:20:13,965 ♪♪ 1607 01:20:13,965 --> 01:20:23,068 ♪♪ 1608 01:20:23,068 --> 01:20:26,931 TODAY I'M TAKING AN INTRODUCTORY FLIGHT SCHOOL COURSE. 1609 01:20:26,931 --> 01:20:29,310 WITH THE SKIN SURGERIES I'M PROBABLY GONNA START TO HAVE 1610 01:20:29,310 --> 01:20:32,034 IN A FEW MONTHS AND THE RATE I'M LOSING, 1611 01:20:32,034 --> 01:20:35,379 I'LL BE DONE WITH MY WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY IN LESS THAN A YEAR. 1612 01:20:35,379 --> 01:20:37,724 SO I STARTED THINKING MORE SERIOUSLY ABOUT A CAREER 1613 01:20:37,724 --> 01:20:39,620 AND DOING SOMETHING I TRULY LOVE. 1614 01:20:41,655 --> 01:20:43,413 HEY. -YOU MUST BE JUSTIN. 1615 01:20:43,413 --> 01:20:44,517 YES, SIR. 1616 01:20:44,517 --> 01:20:45,620 OUTSTANDING. NICE TO MEET YOU. 1617 01:20:45,620 --> 01:20:47,137 -DAVID BOND. -NICE TO MEET YOU. 1618 01:20:47,137 --> 01:20:48,551 IT'S A PLEASURE. WE'RE GONNA GO UP TO THE SIM 1619 01:20:48,551 --> 01:20:49,517 AND START PLAYING IF THAT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU. 1620 01:20:49,517 --> 01:20:53,137 YEAH, SOUNDS GREAT. 1621 01:20:53,137 --> 01:20:56,000 Justin: WHEN I WAS YOUNG, BEING A PILOT WAS A DREAM OF MINE, 1622 01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:58,931 BUT I HAD GIVEN UP ON IT BEFORE I WAS EVEN IN HIGH SCHOOL 1623 01:20:58,931 --> 01:21:01,103 BECAUSE I WEIGHED MORE THEN THAN I DO NOW, 1624 01:21:01,103 --> 01:21:02,344 BUT NOW I'M GETTING TO A PLACE 1625 01:21:02,344 --> 01:21:04,275 WHERE MY DREAMS ARE POSSIBLE AGAIN. 1626 01:21:04,275 --> 01:21:05,620 THERE IT IS. OKAY. 1627 01:21:05,620 --> 01:21:07,000 OKAY. COOL. 1628 01:21:07,000 --> 01:21:10,655 SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA APPLY POWER NICE AND EASY. 1629 01:21:10,655 --> 01:21:12,103 THERE YOU GO. BEAUTIFUL. 1630 01:21:12,103 --> 01:21:14,000 A LITTLE BIT MORE RUDDER. 1631 01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:16,931 AND FULL POWER. 1632 01:21:16,931 --> 01:21:18,379 NOW PUT YOUR HAND ON THE YOKE. 1633 01:21:18,379 --> 01:21:23,758 START PULLING BACK VERY NICELY, AND SHE'S IN THE AIR. 1634 01:21:23,758 --> 01:21:25,517 NOW JUST HOLD HER RIGHT THERE. 1635 01:21:25,517 --> 01:21:29,137 BEAUTIFUL. 1636 01:21:29,137 --> 01:21:33,068 SO I'M NOT HOLDING BACK AND MAKING SURE I DREAM BIG AGAIN. 1637 01:21:33,068 --> 01:21:34,620 AND IF THIS GOES WELL TODAY, 1638 01:21:34,620 --> 01:21:36,551 THEN I'M GONNA WORK TO GET MY PILOT'S LICENSE 1639 01:21:36,551 --> 01:21:39,413 AND LEARN TO FLY AND SEE WHERE THINGS TAKE ME FROM THERE. 1640 01:21:39,413 --> 01:21:40,931 BEAUTIFUL. 1641 01:21:40,931 --> 01:21:42,344 NOW YOU CAN SEE YOUR RUNWAY RIGHT HERE AT THE LIGHTS. 1642 01:21:42,344 --> 01:21:43,896 SO NOW WE CAN CONTINUE THE TURN. 1643 01:21:43,896 --> 01:21:45,655 JUST VERY SLOWLY PULL THE NOSE. 1644 01:21:45,655 --> 01:21:46,724 OKAY, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. 1645 01:21:46,724 --> 01:21:48,827 HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT MORE. 1646 01:21:48,827 --> 01:21:50,172 OKAY. 1647 01:21:50,172 --> 01:21:51,620 I LIKED THAT A LOT. 1648 01:21:51,620 --> 01:21:54,172 A LITTLE DISORIENTING GETTING OUT. 1649 01:21:54,172 --> 01:21:56,000 IT DIDN'T HAVE THE THRILL OF BEING IN THE AIR, 1650 01:21:56,000 --> 01:21:57,448 BUT IT WAS CLOSE, 1651 01:21:57,448 --> 01:22:00,448 AND I WAS GLAD JUST TO BE ABLE TO FIT IN THE SIMULATOR. 1652 01:22:00,448 --> 01:22:02,551 SO I LIKED IT A WHOLE LOT. 1653 01:22:02,551 --> 01:22:05,793 AND I'M GONNA GO FOR IT AND TRY TO GET MY PILOT'S LICENSE. 1654 01:22:05,793 --> 01:22:07,965 SO THIS WON'T BE THE LAST TIME I DO THIS. 1655 01:22:07,965 --> 01:22:10,344 AND HOPEFULLY, AS I GET DOWN IN THE 200s, 1656 01:22:10,344 --> 01:22:14,655 I'LL BE ABLE TO OFFICIALLY START FLYING AND GET UP INTO THE AIR. 1657 01:22:14,655 --> 01:22:16,862 SO THIS HAS BEEN REALLY EXCITING. 1658 01:22:16,862 --> 01:22:18,862 AND I WOULD SAY WITH THE FUTURE I HAVE NOW, 1659 01:22:18,862 --> 01:22:20,724 I WOULD SAY THE SKY'S THE LIMIT. 1660 01:22:20,724 --> 01:22:22,689 BUT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT, 1661 01:22:22,689 --> 01:22:24,172 I WOULD GO BEYOND IT. 1662 01:22:24,172 --> 01:22:32,551 ♪♪ 1663 01:22:32,551 --> 01:22:40,965 ♪♪ 1664 01:22:40,965 --> 01:22:42,551 AS I PREPARE TO OFFICIALLY CROSS 1665 01:22:42,551 --> 01:22:45,896 THE ONE-YEAR MARK OF MY WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY, 1666 01:22:45,896 --> 01:22:48,034 I'VE STARTED REFLECTING ON HOW FAR I'VE COME, 1667 01:22:48,034 --> 01:22:49,827 AND I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING TO GIVE ME 1668 01:22:49,827 --> 01:22:51,344 A PERMANENT REMINDER OF MY JOURNEY 1669 01:22:51,344 --> 01:22:54,206 SO FAR BY GETTING A TATTOO. 1670 01:22:54,206 --> 01:22:56,241 I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GET HERE WITHOUT MY DAD 1671 01:22:56,241 --> 01:22:59,586 AND EVERYTHING HE'S DONE AND SACRIFICED FOR ME. 1672 01:22:59,586 --> 01:23:01,655 SO I ASKED HIM TO DO THIS WITH ME. 1673 01:23:01,655 --> 01:23:05,068 HE SAID YES. 1674 01:23:05,068 --> 01:23:06,448 WHAT'S UP, MAN? -HOW'S IT GOING? 1675 01:23:06,448 --> 01:23:08,206 -PRETTY GOOD. -HOW CAN I HELP Y'ALL? 1676 01:23:08,206 --> 01:23:10,379 WE'RE HERE FOR A TATTOO. 1677 01:23:10,379 --> 01:23:12,137 Joseph: I THINK WE CAN DO THAT. 1678 01:23:12,137 --> 01:23:14,896 COME ON BACK. 1679 01:23:14,896 --> 01:23:18,068 THIS LAST YEAR HAS SAVED MY LIFE. 1680 01:23:18,068 --> 01:23:21,448 A YEAR AGO, I WASN'T HAPPY VERY OFTEN. 1681 01:23:21,448 --> 01:23:25,551 IT WAS JUST A CHALLENGE BECAUSE 1682 01:23:25,551 --> 01:23:31,137 I WAS IN A REALLY BAD SPOT MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY. 1683 01:23:31,137 --> 01:23:33,034 THE DESIGN THAT I'M GETTING HAS A PHOENIX 1684 01:23:33,034 --> 01:23:35,034 AND THE STATE OF TEXAS IN IT. 1685 01:23:35,034 --> 01:23:37,689 AND THE PHOENIX IS A PRETTY COMMON SYMBOL FOR REBIRTH 1686 01:23:37,689 --> 01:23:40,448 AND STARTING YOUR LIFE OVER. 1687 01:23:40,448 --> 01:23:43,310 AND THAT'S REALLY WHAT THIS WHOLE THING HAS BEEN ABOUT 1688 01:23:43,310 --> 01:23:46,103 IS MY SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE. 1689 01:23:46,103 --> 01:23:48,344 THIS HAS BEEN A SECOND CHANCE FOR A LOT OF THINGS, 1690 01:23:48,344 --> 01:23:52,448 BOTH MY HEALTH AND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAD. 1691 01:23:52,448 --> 01:23:53,965 HURT? 1692 01:23:53,965 --> 01:23:55,724 IT'S A LITTLE TENDER. 1693 01:23:55,724 --> 01:23:59,896 SO HAVING THE PHOENIX, IT JUST FEELS RIGHT. 1694 01:24:01,793 --> 01:24:04,103 -ALL RIGHTY. -ALL GOOD? 1695 01:24:04,103 --> 01:24:05,172 -THAT LOOKS GOOD. -YOU LIKE IT? 1696 01:24:05,172 --> 01:24:06,689 YEAH. I LIKE IT. 1697 01:24:06,689 --> 01:24:08,172 I DO, TOO. 1698 01:24:08,172 --> 01:24:10,344 Justin: AND MY DAD'S GETTING THE SAME EXACT TATTOO 1699 01:24:10,344 --> 01:24:12,724 BECAUSE HE'S BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY WITH ME. 1700 01:24:12,724 --> 01:24:15,482 SO THIS IS A REALLY SPECIAL MOMENT, 1701 01:24:15,482 --> 01:24:19,793 AND I'M REALLY HAPPY WE'RE AT THIS POINT AND BOTH CAN DO THIS. 1702 01:24:19,793 --> 01:24:21,758 YOUR TURN. 1703 01:24:21,758 --> 01:24:24,793 BECAUSE HE'S BEEN WITH ME THROUGH IT ALL. 1704 01:24:24,793 --> 01:24:26,448 AND I KNOW HE'S GONNA CONTINUE TO BE THERE 1705 01:24:26,448 --> 01:24:29,827 FOR ME UNTIL THE END. 1706 01:24:29,827 --> 01:24:32,482 Johnny: THESE TATTOOS WILL REPRESENT THE JOURNEY THAT HE 1707 01:24:32,482 --> 01:24:35,931 AND I WENT THROUGH OUT HERE, WHICH WAS ONE HELL OF A JOURNEY, 1708 01:24:35,931 --> 01:24:38,931 WHICH I WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED IT FOR THE WORLD. 1709 01:24:38,931 --> 01:24:41,689 A YEAR AGO, I WOULD NEVER HAVE BELIEVED WHERE WE ARE NOW. 1710 01:24:41,689 --> 01:24:44,448 I'M DEFINITELY GETTING MY SON BACK. 1711 01:24:44,448 --> 01:24:50,517 I MEAN, IT JUST -- HE'S JUST A DIFFERENT PERSON. 1712 01:24:50,517 --> 01:24:53,068 GOD KNOWS I'M THANKFUL FOR THIS. 1713 01:24:53,068 --> 01:24:54,793 EVERY DAY. 1714 01:24:57,000 --> 01:24:59,034 Justin: I'VE DONE THIS WITH THE HELP AND SACRIFICE 1715 01:24:59,034 --> 01:25:02,413 AND LOVE OF MY FATHER, 1716 01:25:02,413 --> 01:25:04,965 SO I'M GONNA MAKE SURE I CONTINUE TO DO EVERYTHING 1717 01:25:04,965 --> 01:25:08,310 I CAN TO MAKE HIM PROUD AND GET TO WHERE I NEED. 1718 01:25:08,310 --> 01:25:09,965 AND THIS JOURNEY TO GET THERE HAS NOT ONLY 1719 01:25:09,965 --> 01:25:11,655 GIVEN ME MY LIFE BACK, 1720 01:25:11,655 --> 01:25:15,655 IT'S GIVEN ME A CHANCE TO GET SOMETHING I MISSED GROWING UP. 1721 01:25:15,655 --> 01:25:17,103 SO I FEEL LIKE, IN A WAY, 1722 01:25:17,103 --> 01:25:20,344 IT'S GIVEN ME A PAST ALONG WITH A NEW FUTURE. 1723 01:25:20,344 --> 01:25:24,413 SO THE ONLY WAY I CAN PUT IT IS THAT I FEEL REBORN 1724 01:25:24,413 --> 01:25:26,620 BECAUSE I HAVE A WHOLE NEW LIFE NOW. 1725 01:25:26,620 --> 01:25:28,068 THAT'S MORE THAN I COULD HAVE EVER DREAMED 1726 01:25:28,068 --> 01:25:29,586 WAS POSSIBLE FOR ME. 1727 01:25:29,586 --> 01:25:30,413 YOU FLEXING?THERE YOU GO. 1728 01:25:30,413 --> 01:25:31,758 OF COURSE HE IS. 1729 01:25:31,758 --> 01:25:32,379 [ LAUGHS ]