1 00:00:04,034 --> 00:00:06,034 Woman: BEING OVER 600 POUNDS, 2 00:00:06,034 --> 00:00:10,724 I'M NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO DO THE THINGS THAT I DREAM ABOUT. 3 00:00:10,724 --> 00:00:13,896 --Captions by VITAC-- www.vitac.com 4 00:00:13,896 --> 00:00:17,413 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 5 00:00:17,413 --> 00:00:19,827 Man: AT THIS POINT, I'M KILLING MYSELF. 6 00:00:19,827 --> 00:00:22,758 Woman: IT'S TERRIFYING TO THINK THAT AT ANY MOMENT 7 00:00:22,758 --> 00:00:24,448 YOUR HEART COULD EXPLODE. 8 00:00:24,448 --> 00:00:29,724 ♪♪ 9 00:00:29,724 --> 00:00:34,965 ♪♪ 10 00:00:34,965 --> 00:00:37,655 Woman: I DON'T WANT TO DIE. 11 00:00:37,655 --> 00:00:39,620 I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO LIVE YET. 12 00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:44,344 ♪♪ 13 00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:46,103 WHY ARE YOU JUMPING ON MY CASE? 14 00:00:46,103 --> 00:00:49,689 YOU'RE OVEREATING, AND YOU ACT LIKE IT'S OUR FAULT. 15 00:00:49,689 --> 00:00:51,275 Woman: I KNOW THAT I'M DYING. 16 00:00:51,275 --> 00:00:53,413 I KNOW THAT I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT. 17 00:00:53,413 --> 00:00:57,620 ♪♪ 18 00:00:57,620 --> 00:01:01,206 YOU CAN DO THIS. OKAY. 19 00:01:01,206 --> 00:01:02,896 YOU GOT TO GET HEALTHY. 20 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,586 I KNOW.OKAY. 21 00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:14,448 ♪♪ 22 00:01:14,448 --> 00:01:24,379 ♪♪ 23 00:01:24,379 --> 00:01:34,241 ♪♪ 24 00:01:34,241 --> 00:01:36,379 Holly: I DREAD HAVING TO START MY DAY 25 00:01:36,379 --> 00:01:37,965 BECAUSE I'VE GOTTEN SO BIG NOW 26 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,310 I CONSTANTLY HURT, 27 00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,137 AND IT'S GETTING TO A POINT 28 00:01:41,137 --> 00:01:43,310 WHERE I'M HAVING TROUBLE GETTING UP. 29 00:01:43,310 --> 00:01:47,103 ♪♪ 30 00:01:47,103 --> 00:01:51,172 SO THINGS LIKE WALKING ARE GETTING A LOT HARDER FOR ME. 31 00:01:51,172 --> 00:01:55,344 ♪♪ 32 00:01:55,344 --> 00:01:58,689 AND I'M SCARED BECAUSE NOW I CAN BARELY DO ANYTHING. 33 00:01:58,689 --> 00:02:00,827 ♪♪ 34 00:02:00,827 --> 00:02:04,103 I CAN'T MOVE CERTAIN WAYS. 35 00:02:04,103 --> 00:02:09,172 I CAN'T FIT CERTAIN PLACES. 36 00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:13,448 I CAN BARELY FIT IN MY BATHROOM. 37 00:02:13,448 --> 00:02:16,413 I HAVE TO TURN SIDEWAYS TO FIT THROUGH THE DOOR. 38 00:02:16,413 --> 00:02:19,137 ♪♪ 39 00:02:19,137 --> 00:02:21,344 SO MY FIANCé, RAY, HAS TO HELP ME 40 00:02:21,344 --> 00:02:24,000 WHEN I USE THE TOILET AND TAKE A BATH. 41 00:02:27,137 --> 00:02:30,379 IT'S TOTALLY EMBARRASSING AND DEGRADING 42 00:02:30,379 --> 00:02:35,206 TO HAVE TO ASK SOMEBODY TO HELP ME WITH THAT. 43 00:02:35,206 --> 00:02:37,586 BUT I HAVE TO HAVE HELP, 44 00:02:37,586 --> 00:02:41,551 BECAUSE EVEN WHEN I'M ABLE TO DO SOMETHING ON MY OWN, 45 00:02:41,551 --> 00:02:43,551 IT COMPLETELY WEARS ME OUT TO THE POINT 46 00:02:43,551 --> 00:02:46,724 WHERE I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA PASS OUT. 47 00:02:46,724 --> 00:02:49,344 SO THERE THAN TO GET FOOD OR EAT, 48 00:02:49,344 --> 00:02:52,724 I ONLY GET UP TO TRY TO SHOWER. 49 00:02:52,724 --> 00:02:56,034 BUT RIGHT NOW I'M ONLY ABLE TO SHOWER A COUPLE TIMES A WEEK 50 00:02:56,034 --> 00:03:00,068 AT THE MOST BECAUSE IT'S HARD TO LIFT PARTS OF MY BODY, 51 00:03:00,068 --> 00:03:05,206 AND CERTAIN JOINTS JUST DON'T MOVE THE WAY I NEED THEM TO. 52 00:03:05,206 --> 00:03:09,379 AND I'M WORRIED RAY IS GONNA HAVE TO START WASHING ME IN BED, 53 00:03:09,379 --> 00:03:10,931 BUT THIS IS ONE OF THE LAST THINGS 54 00:03:10,931 --> 00:03:14,137 I TRY TO DO ON MY OWN. 55 00:03:14,137 --> 00:03:18,310 SO I KIND OF SMUSH MYSELF IN AND DO THE BEST I CAN, 56 00:03:20,344 --> 00:03:24,172 BECAUSE AFTER MY SHOWER, I'M TOTALLY EXHAUSTED 57 00:03:24,172 --> 00:03:27,758 AND I HURT FROM HEAD TO TOE AND MY HEAD IS POUNDING. 58 00:03:30,758 --> 00:03:34,275 AND I'M AT MY LIMIT, PHYSICALLY. 59 00:03:34,275 --> 00:03:38,448 SO I CAN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING ANYMORE. 60 00:03:38,448 --> 00:03:43,275 I'M JUST CONSTANTLY IN PAIN, AND I FEEL MISERABLE. 61 00:03:43,275 --> 00:03:44,793 YOU OKAY? 62 00:03:44,793 --> 00:03:46,586 JUST GOT DIZZY FOR A MINUTE. 63 00:03:46,586 --> 00:03:51,137 ♪♪ 64 00:03:51,137 --> 00:03:53,965 OKAY, I'M GONNA GO FIX YOU A PLATE OF FOOD. 65 00:03:53,965 --> 00:03:56,137 OKAY. 66 00:03:56,137 --> 00:03:58,827 THE ONLY THING THAT BRINGS ME ANY JOY AND HAPPINESS 67 00:03:58,827 --> 00:04:02,896 AND MAKES ME FEEL BETTER IS FOOD, 68 00:04:02,896 --> 00:04:06,413 AND IT'S MY ONLY MOTIVATION TO GET OUT OF BED AGAIN. 69 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:10,137 ♪♪ 70 00:04:10,137 --> 00:04:12,482 SO ONCE I'VE HAD A CHANCE TO CATCH MY BREATH, 71 00:04:12,482 --> 00:04:14,172 I TRY TO MAKE IT TO MY WHEELCHAIR, 72 00:04:14,172 --> 00:04:16,827 AND I WAIT FOR RAY TO BRING ME BREAKFAST. 73 00:04:16,827 --> 00:04:20,068 [ LABORED BREATHING ] 74 00:04:20,068 --> 00:04:21,620 Ray: ON ANY GIVEN DAY, 75 00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:23,724 HOLLY PROBABLY EATS ENOUGH 76 00:04:23,724 --> 00:04:26,344 FOR THREE TO FOUR PEOPLE. 77 00:04:26,344 --> 00:04:30,586 SHE KIND OF HAS A NEVER-ENDING HUNGER. 78 00:04:30,586 --> 00:04:35,758 AND EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I AM ACTUALLY FEEDING THE PROBLEM, 79 00:04:35,758 --> 00:04:40,034 I DO IT BECAUSE I LOVE HER, AND I JUST CAN'T SAY NO TO HER. 80 00:04:40,034 --> 00:04:43,034 ♪♪ 81 00:04:43,034 --> 00:04:46,000 Holly: THERE'S NEVER A MOMENT I DON'T WANT TO EAT, 82 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:49,241 AND I THINK I'M ADDICTED TO FOOD. 83 00:04:49,241 --> 00:04:53,344 THAT'S VERY HARD TO ADMIT TO MYSELF. 84 00:04:53,344 --> 00:04:55,517 BUT I ALWAYS WANT TO EAT ANYTHING 85 00:04:55,517 --> 00:04:58,379 THAT I COULD GET MY HANDS ON. 86 00:04:58,379 --> 00:05:00,931 AND WHAT RAY MAKES ME FOR BREAKFAST IS A GOOD START, 87 00:05:00,931 --> 00:05:02,620 BUT IT DOESN'T FILL ME UP. 88 00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:06,793 ♪♪ 89 00:05:06,793 --> 00:05:10,000 READY?YEP. 90 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,620 SO AFTER I'M DONE, IF THERE'S TIME 91 00:05:11,620 --> 00:05:13,413 BEFORE RAY HAS TO GO TO WORK, 92 00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:17,482 HE TAKES ME TO GET SOMETHING ELSE. 93 00:05:17,482 --> 00:05:20,965 HE USED TO GO AND GET ME LUNCH TO LEAVE ME WHILE HE'S GONE, 94 00:05:20,965 --> 00:05:24,310 BUT NO I'M STILL SO HUNGRY WE JUST GO AND EAT A BRUNCH 95 00:05:24,310 --> 00:05:26,793 RIGHT AFTER BREAKFAST. 96 00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:29,275 SO I TRY TO MAKE IT TO THE CAR, BUT IT'S HARD 97 00:05:29,275 --> 00:05:32,793 BECAUSE I'M HURTING A LOT AT THIS POINT. 98 00:05:32,793 --> 00:05:36,206 BUT I PUSH MYSELF BECAUSE I KNOW IT MEANS I GET TO EAT, 99 00:05:36,206 --> 00:05:38,241 AND I JUST CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE. 100 00:05:38,241 --> 00:05:44,241 ♪♪ 101 00:05:44,241 --> 00:05:50,241 ♪♪ 102 00:05:50,241 --> 00:05:51,482 HOW MAY I HELP YOU? 103 00:05:51,482 --> 00:05:54,793 CAN WE GET A CHICKEN BASKET WITH GRAVY 104 00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:57,724 AND TWO SOFT PRETZEL STICKS WITH QUESO? 105 00:05:57,724 --> 00:05:59,689 AND AN ORDER OF ONION RINGS. 106 00:05:59,689 --> 00:06:01,655 AND AN ORDER OF ONION RINGS? 107 00:06:01,655 --> 00:06:04,793 OKAY. 108 00:06:04,793 --> 00:06:06,379 HERE YOU GO. 109 00:06:06,379 --> 00:06:07,793 THANK YOU.Y'ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY. 110 00:06:07,793 --> 00:06:10,793 YOU, TOO. 111 00:06:10,793 --> 00:06:13,275 I THINK THIS ONE HAS YOURS IN IT, 112 00:06:13,275 --> 00:06:15,103 AND I'LL GET STARTED WITH THIS. 113 00:06:15,103 --> 00:06:17,620 ♪♪ 114 00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:22,310 EATING IS THE ONLY PLEASURE I HAVE LEFT IN MY LIFE, 115 00:06:22,310 --> 00:06:24,413 AND WITHOUT IT, I HAVE NOTHING. 116 00:06:24,413 --> 00:06:27,482 ♪♪ 117 00:06:27,482 --> 00:06:30,103 I LOVE THE WAY IT MAKES ME FEEL 118 00:06:30,103 --> 00:06:32,827 AND THE HAPPINESS I FEEL WITH EVERY BITE. 119 00:06:35,448 --> 00:06:37,206 BUT THE MOMENT MY MEAL IS OVER 120 00:06:37,206 --> 00:06:39,896 AND I'VE EATEN EVERYTHING I HAVE, 121 00:06:39,896 --> 00:06:42,482 ALL THE SADNESS COMES BACK, 122 00:06:42,482 --> 00:06:45,724 SO ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS WHEN I CAN EAT AGAIN. 123 00:06:45,724 --> 00:06:51,827 ♪♪ 124 00:06:51,827 --> 00:06:53,931 SO AFTER RAY TAKES ME HOME AND LEAVES, 125 00:06:53,931 --> 00:06:58,241 IF THERE'S ANYTHING IN THE HOUSE, I'M GONNA EAT IT. 126 00:06:58,241 --> 00:06:59,620 I'LL FIND IT AND EAT IT, 127 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:03,620 EVEN WHEN HE'S TRIED TO HIDE FOOD FROM ME. 128 00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:05,620 I JUST NEVER WANT TO STOP. 129 00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:09,310 I LIVE TO EAT. 130 00:07:09,310 --> 00:07:11,482 EVEN THOUGH I KNOW MY ADDICTION TO FOOD 131 00:07:11,482 --> 00:07:15,517 IS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL, I CAN'T STOP, 132 00:07:15,517 --> 00:07:18,586 AND I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD ALL GET THIS BAD 133 00:07:18,586 --> 00:07:22,724 AND THAT THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE WOULD BECOME. 134 00:07:22,724 --> 00:07:24,896 SWEETIE, I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET READY FOR WORK. 135 00:07:24,896 --> 00:07:28,379 OKAY, GO AHEAD. 136 00:07:28,379 --> 00:07:33,172 BUT AS ASHAMED AS I AM ABOUT IT AND AS MUCH AS I WANT TO CHANGE, 137 00:07:33,172 --> 00:07:35,655 FOOD IS THE ONLY THING THAT'S THERE FOR ME, 138 00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:38,344 AND THAT'S THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN FOR MY WHOLE LIFE. 139 00:07:38,344 --> 00:07:44,965 ♪♪ 140 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:48,931 EVEN FROM WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG, I'VE LOVED FOOD. 141 00:07:48,931 --> 00:07:51,379 SO I'VE ALWAYS STRUGGLED WITH MY WEIGHT. 142 00:07:53,758 --> 00:07:55,758 Woman: WHEN HOLLY WAS A LITTLE GIRL, 143 00:07:55,758 --> 00:07:57,413 I COULDN'T BELIEVE HER APPETITE. 144 00:07:57,413 --> 00:08:00,034 I SEEMED TO BE FEEDING HER CONSTANTLY 145 00:08:00,034 --> 00:08:02,689 'CAUSE SHE WAS CONSTANTLY CRYING 146 00:08:02,689 --> 00:08:08,172 AND WANTING TO BE FED RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING. 147 00:08:08,172 --> 00:08:09,620 Holly: BUT WHEN I WAS REALLY YOUNG, 148 00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:12,586 I DIDN'T WORRY ABOUT MY WEIGHT OR HOW MUCH I ATE. 149 00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:14,068 IT WAS MADE ME FEEL SAFE, 150 00:08:14,068 --> 00:08:17,827 BECAUSE MY PARENTS WERE REALLY STRICT WHEN I WAS GROWING UP. 151 00:08:17,827 --> 00:08:21,655 AND ON TOP OF THAT, MY PARENTS FOUGHT A LOT, 152 00:08:21,655 --> 00:08:27,344 AND IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WASN'T IN A SAFE PLACE. 153 00:08:27,344 --> 00:08:30,620 BUT FOOD MADE ME FEEL GOOD AND FORGET ABOUT THE FEAR, 154 00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:32,034 SO I WAS ALWAYS EATING. 155 00:08:32,034 --> 00:08:34,206 AND SO I JUST KEPT GETTING BIGGER. 156 00:08:36,655 --> 00:08:38,862 THE FIRST TIME I REALIZED IT WAS BECOMING A PROBLEM 157 00:08:38,862 --> 00:08:41,586 WAS WHEN I WAS 6, THOUGH. 158 00:08:41,586 --> 00:08:44,931 THAT'S WHEN THE BULLYING STARTED. 159 00:08:44,931 --> 00:08:48,586 I WAS ALREADY GETTING CLOSE TO BEING OVER 100 POUNDS BY THEN, 160 00:08:48,586 --> 00:08:51,068 SO MY WEIGHT STARTED TO REALLY STAND OUT. 161 00:08:53,137 --> 00:08:55,965 BUT AS I GOT BIGGER AND THE BULLYING GOT WORSE, 162 00:08:55,965 --> 00:08:59,551 I FINALLY WORKED UP THE COURAGE TO TELL MY PARENTS. 163 00:08:59,551 --> 00:09:02,413 I WAS TOLD TO TURN THE OTHER CHEEK. 164 00:09:02,413 --> 00:09:05,965 I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE I COULD GO TO MY PARENTS WITH ANYTHING. 165 00:09:09,275 --> 00:09:11,482 SO I FELT EVEN MORE LIKE I WAS ON MY OWN, 166 00:09:11,482 --> 00:09:15,137 AND THE ONLY FRIEND I HAD TO GO TO WAS FOOD. 167 00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:17,068 IF I WAS SCARED ABOUT SOMETHING THAT WAS GOING ON 168 00:09:17,068 --> 00:09:18,758 WITH MY PARENTS OR IF I WAS SCARED 169 00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,379 ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED AT SCHOOL THAT DAY, 170 00:09:21,379 --> 00:09:24,793 I WOULD GO FIND SOMETHING TO EAT. 171 00:09:24,793 --> 00:09:26,344 AND OVER THE NEXT COUPLE OF YEARS, 172 00:09:26,344 --> 00:09:28,275 I GAINED ANOTHER 100 POUNDS, 173 00:09:28,275 --> 00:09:31,724 AND I WAS OVER 200 BY THE TIME I WAS 10 YEARS OLD. 174 00:09:34,482 --> 00:09:36,551 AND THAT'S WHEN MY MOM DECIDED MY WEIGHT GAIN 175 00:09:36,551 --> 00:09:37,862 WAS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL 176 00:09:37,862 --> 00:09:40,793 AND THAT SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. 177 00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:45,172 SO MY MOM PUT ME ON FEN-PHEN, WHICH WAS HIGHLY CONTROVERSIAL 178 00:09:45,172 --> 00:09:47,758 AND ENDED UP BEING BANNED. 179 00:09:47,758 --> 00:09:51,586 BUT IT WAS A DRUG THAT STOPPED YOU FROM BEING HUNGRY. 180 00:09:51,586 --> 00:09:53,310 BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO STOP BEING HUNGRY, 181 00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:55,758 BECAUSE I WANTED TO EAT NO MATTER WHAT. 182 00:09:55,758 --> 00:09:59,275 ♪♪ 183 00:09:59,275 --> 00:10:01,103 SO, OVER THE NEXT FEW YEARS, 184 00:10:01,103 --> 00:10:03,931 I WAS UP TO 350 POUNDS BY THE TIME I WAS 14 185 00:10:03,931 --> 00:10:05,551 AND STARTED HIGH SCHOOL. 186 00:10:05,551 --> 00:10:07,896 SO I GOT EXTREMELY DEPRESSED. 187 00:10:07,896 --> 00:10:12,034 I STRUGGLED WITH DEPRESSION FROM MY TEEN YEARS ON, 188 00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:14,000 NOT JUST BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING AT HOME 189 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,034 BUT BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I WAS 16. 190 00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:20,793 I WAS OVER 400 POUNDS BY THEN, AND I DIDN'T WANT TO BE AT HOME, 191 00:10:20,793 --> 00:10:23,517 SO I DECIDED TO GET A JOB AT A DEPARTMENT STORE 192 00:10:23,517 --> 00:10:26,000 AS A FLOOR CLERK. 193 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,310 AND AN OLDER GUY, WHO WAS A REGULAR CUSTOMER, 194 00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:33,275 WHO WAS 22, APPROACHED ME AND SHOWED AN INTEREST, 195 00:10:33,275 --> 00:10:35,000 AND HE ASKED IF I WANTED TO MEET HIM 196 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:39,448 AFTER WORK IN HIS TRUCK TO TALK AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. 197 00:10:39,448 --> 00:10:44,655 I WAS CURIOUS, SO I MET HIM OUTSIDE AFTER WORK, 198 00:10:44,655 --> 00:10:48,275 BUT WHEN I GOT IN HIS TRUCK, HE ATTACKED ME. 199 00:10:48,275 --> 00:10:52,620 AND BEFORE I KNEW IT, HE PHYSICALLY OVERPOWERED ME, 200 00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:55,310 AND HE RAPED ME. 201 00:10:55,310 --> 00:10:57,517 IT WAS ONE OF THE WORST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE, 202 00:10:57,517 --> 00:11:01,758 BUT AT THE TIME, I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE. 203 00:11:01,758 --> 00:11:04,103 I WAS AFRAID TO GO TO MY PARENTS 204 00:11:04,103 --> 00:11:06,172 AND TALK TO THEM ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. 205 00:11:06,172 --> 00:11:09,931 I WAS AFRAID OF LETTING THEM DOWN. 206 00:11:09,931 --> 00:11:13,310 AND THE ONLY THING I HAD TO HELP ME DEAL WITH IT ALL WAS FOOD, 207 00:11:13,310 --> 00:11:15,620 SO I JUST KEPT EATING. 208 00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:19,551 AND BY THE TIME I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS OVER 500 POUNDS. 209 00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:24,137 AT THAT POINT, MY WEIGHT HAD GOTTEN SO BAD 210 00:11:24,137 --> 00:11:26,862 THAT I STARTED TO HAVE TROUBLE GETTING AROUND LIKE I NEEDED. 211 00:11:26,862 --> 00:11:29,379 SO I HAD TO DROP OUT OF COLLEGE MY FRESHMAN YEAR. 212 00:11:29,379 --> 00:11:32,655 ♪♪ 213 00:11:32,655 --> 00:11:34,344 AND AS MUCH AS I DIDN'T WANT TO, 214 00:11:34,344 --> 00:11:37,137 I HAD TO MOVE BACK IN WITH MY PARENTS. 215 00:11:37,137 --> 00:11:40,137 SO IT FELT LIKE MY LIFE WAS JUST GETTING WORSE AND WORSE, 216 00:11:40,137 --> 00:11:43,206 BUT WHEN I WAS 20, I MET MY FIRST HUSBAND. 217 00:11:45,758 --> 00:11:47,034 AND I WAS HAPPY THEN, 218 00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:49,517 AND I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS TURNING AROUND. 219 00:11:49,517 --> 00:11:52,206 I WAS EVEN ABLE TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING, 220 00:11:52,206 --> 00:11:55,482 BUT NOT A WHOLE LOT BECAUSE I WAS STILL AROUND 450 POUNDS. 221 00:11:57,931 --> 00:12:01,241 BUT SOON AFTER WE GOT MARRIED AND I MOVED IN WITH HIM, 222 00:12:01,241 --> 00:12:03,862 THINGS STARTED TO GET HARDER. 223 00:12:03,862 --> 00:12:07,758 HE WAS IN THE MILITARY, AND IT TOOK A TOLL ON HIM. 224 00:12:07,758 --> 00:12:12,965 HE CAME BACK FROM THE WAR IN IRAQ WITH UNDIAGNOSED PTSD, 225 00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:14,965 SO HE STARTED TO SUFFER THESE EPISODES 226 00:12:14,965 --> 00:12:18,379 WHERE HE THOUGHT HE WAS BACK THERE. 227 00:12:18,379 --> 00:12:21,586 I WAS WAKING UP TO GUNS IN MY FACE AT HOME 228 00:12:21,586 --> 00:12:24,896 BECAUSE HE WAS HAVING NIGHTMARES. 229 00:12:24,896 --> 00:12:30,206 AND THAT WENT ON FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS OF MY LIFE. 230 00:12:30,206 --> 00:12:35,655 BEING IN ANOTHER SITUATION WHERE I DIDN'T FEEL SAFE, 231 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:40,000 FOOD WAS, YET AGAIN, ANOTHER COMFORT TO ME, 232 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:44,137 AND MY WEIGHT GOT UP TO AROUND 600 BY THE TIME I WAS 30. 233 00:12:44,137 --> 00:12:47,862 AT THAT POINT, I FINALLY DECIDED THAT MY LIFE WAS GETTING SO BAD 234 00:12:47,862 --> 00:12:49,241 THAT I HAD TO DO SOMETHING, 235 00:12:49,241 --> 00:12:52,620 OR I JUST WASN'T GONNA LAST MUCH LONGER. 236 00:12:52,620 --> 00:12:57,206 MY FIRST HUSBAND, HE WAS THE FIRST GUY I HAD TRUSTED, 237 00:12:57,206 --> 00:12:59,689 AND I FELT LIKE HE HAD BETRAYED THAT TRUST 238 00:12:59,689 --> 00:13:03,103 WITH HOW HE TREATED ME FOR 10 YEARS. 239 00:13:03,103 --> 00:13:06,655 SO I LEFT HIM AND GOT WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 240 00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:09,689 I WANTED TO TAKE MY LIFE BACK AND FINALLY LOSE ALL THE WEIGHT, 241 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:12,931 SO I HAD MY STOMACH STAPLED. 242 00:13:12,931 --> 00:13:14,551 AND FOR THE YEAR AFTER THAT, 243 00:13:14,551 --> 00:13:19,413 I STARTED TO REALLY LOSE WEIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. 244 00:13:19,413 --> 00:13:25,793 AND AT FIRST THE SURGERY WORKED AND I GOT DOWN TO 398 POUNDS. 245 00:13:25,793 --> 00:13:29,586 AND I WAS REALLY EXCITED, BECAUSE I WAS DOING WELL. 246 00:13:29,586 --> 00:13:31,103 I WAS 32 THEN, 247 00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:34,586 SO IT WAS ALMOST 20 YEARS SINCE I WAS DOWN THAT LOW. 248 00:13:37,137 --> 00:13:39,034 BUT THAT'S AS FAR AS MY WEIGHT LOSS WENT, 249 00:13:39,034 --> 00:13:40,931 BECAUSE AFTER, I STARTED STRUGGLING 250 00:13:40,931 --> 00:13:42,793 WITH WANTING TO EAT AGAIN. 251 00:13:42,793 --> 00:13:45,793 SO I STARTED EATING MORE, EVEN WHEN I WAS FULL. 252 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,103 AND I ENDED UP BUSTING MY STAPLES 253 00:13:50,103 --> 00:13:54,482 AND WAS BACK IN THE 500s AGAIN BY THE TIME I WAS 33. 254 00:13:54,482 --> 00:13:57,137 AND I WAS REALLY DEPRESSED ABOUT THAT, 255 00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:58,862 AND I STARTED TO GIVE UP. 256 00:14:01,103 --> 00:14:04,551 BUT, THANKFULLY, THAT'S WHEN I MET RAY. 257 00:14:04,551 --> 00:14:06,000 I HAD NO FRIENDS OR ANYONE, 258 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,310 SO I JOINED SOME ONLINE CHAT ROOMS 259 00:14:08,310 --> 00:14:11,689 JUST TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE AND I MET RAY IN ONE OF THEM 260 00:14:11,689 --> 00:14:13,172 AND I REALLY LIKED CHATTING WITH HIM, 261 00:14:13,172 --> 00:14:17,103 SO WE STARTED TALKING OFFLINE. 262 00:14:17,103 --> 00:14:20,241 RAY CAME INTO MY LIFE KIND OF AS A RAY OF SUNSHINE 263 00:14:20,241 --> 00:14:24,931 AND REALLY SHOWED ME WHAT LIFE COULD BE. 264 00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,448 AND THREE MONTHS AFTER WE MET, 265 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:29,344 HE OFFERED TO LET ME MOVE IN WITH HIM, AND I DID. 266 00:14:29,344 --> 00:14:31,482 AND WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER EVER SINCE. 267 00:14:33,586 --> 00:14:35,482 WHEN RAY AND ME WERE FIRST TOGETHER, 268 00:14:35,482 --> 00:14:37,931 EVEN THOUGH IT WAS HARD, I WAS STILL ABLE TO GO OUT, 269 00:14:37,931 --> 00:14:39,965 AND WE COULD DO THINGS TOGETHER. 270 00:14:42,137 --> 00:14:45,620 BUT EVEN THOUGH I HAD RAY IN MY LIFE AND THINGS WERE BETTER, 271 00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:48,862 AT THAT POINT, MY FOOD ADDICTION WAS ALREADY OUT OF CONTROL, 272 00:14:48,862 --> 00:14:52,068 AND I JUST KEPT EATING. 273 00:14:52,068 --> 00:14:56,172 AND IT WASN'T LONG BEFORE I GOT BACK OVER 600 POUNDS. 274 00:14:56,172 --> 00:15:00,137 I CROSSED THAT MARK A FEW YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS 35, 275 00:15:00,137 --> 00:15:04,137 AND IT WAS A TOTAL SHOCK TO SEE THAT NUMBER ON THE SCALE. 276 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:08,275 ♪♪ 277 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:12,137 I WISH I COULD CHANGE IT ALL, BUT I CAN'T STOP EATING. 278 00:15:12,137 --> 00:15:15,137 AND NOW IT'S AFFECTING MY PARENTS' LIVES, TOO, 279 00:15:15,137 --> 00:15:16,586 BECAUSE THIS PAST YEAR, 280 00:15:16,586 --> 00:15:18,931 WE HAD TO MOVE IN WITH MY MOM AND DAD 281 00:15:18,931 --> 00:15:21,310 SO THAT RAY COULD WORK DURING THE DAY. 282 00:15:21,310 --> 00:15:23,793 BUT I CAN'T BE ALONE, AND I HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE WITH ME 283 00:15:23,793 --> 00:15:26,310 AT ALL TIMES TO MAKE SURE I HAVE THE HELP I NEED 284 00:15:26,310 --> 00:15:28,965 AND THAT SOMETHING DOESN'T HAPPEN TO ME. 285 00:15:28,965 --> 00:15:32,448 SO I FEEL LIKE A BURDEN, ESPECIALLY TO MY MOM, 286 00:15:32,448 --> 00:15:36,103 BECAUSE, ASIDE FROM RAY, SHE DOES THE MOST FOR ME. 287 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,517 BUT GETTING TO THAT POINT 288 00:15:37,517 --> 00:15:39,931 WHERE WE HAD TO GO TO MY PARENTS WAS TOUGH, 289 00:15:39,931 --> 00:15:43,172 BECAUSE UP UNTIL THEN I HADN'T TOLD THEM ABOUT RAY 290 00:15:43,172 --> 00:15:47,482 BECAUSE I KNEW THEY WOULDN'T APPROVE OF OUR SITUATION. 291 00:15:47,482 --> 00:15:49,862 Kim: SHE DIDN'T WANT TO TELL HER DAD AND I THAT 292 00:15:49,862 --> 00:15:51,379 SHE WAS LIVING WITH SOMEONE 293 00:15:51,379 --> 00:15:53,206 BECAUSE WE'RE RELIGIOUS PEOPLE, 294 00:15:53,206 --> 00:15:56,482 AND WE FEEL THAT IF SOMEBODY'S GOING TO LIVE TOGETHER, 295 00:15:56,482 --> 00:15:58,034 THEY NEED TO BE MARRIED. 296 00:15:58,034 --> 00:16:00,655 SO WE'RE NOT HAPPY ABOUT THE SITUATION, 297 00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:04,689 BUT THEY HAVE NO PLACE TO GO, SO WE'VE ACCEPTED IT. 298 00:16:07,137 --> 00:16:09,448 YOU WANT ME TO MAKE FOUR PATTIES? 299 00:16:09,448 --> 00:16:11,034 CAN YOU DO SIX? 300 00:16:11,034 --> 00:16:12,758 YEAH, I GOT ENOUGH TO DO EIGHT. 301 00:16:12,758 --> 00:16:14,965 HOW MANY YOU WANT?WELL, THEN, TO DO EIGHT. 302 00:16:14,965 --> 00:16:16,689 ALL RIGHT. 303 00:16:19,793 --> 00:16:21,310 Holly: IF I DIDN'T HAVE MY MOM'S HELP, 304 00:16:21,310 --> 00:16:23,241 I KNOW I'D BE ON MY OWN DURING THE DAY 305 00:16:23,241 --> 00:16:25,758 AND WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. 306 00:16:25,758 --> 00:16:28,862 SO I'M THANKFUL FOR HER HELP. 307 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:31,827 BUT THE ONE CHANGE I'M HAPPY ABOUT IN OUR RELATIONSHIP 308 00:16:31,827 --> 00:16:33,793 IS THAT MY MOM IS NO LONGER TRYING TO GET ME 309 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:36,448 TO LOSE WEIGHT OR EAT BETTER. 310 00:16:36,448 --> 00:16:39,241 I THINK A PART OF HER LIKES SOME OF THE FOOD I EAT, 311 00:16:39,241 --> 00:16:42,586 AND I FEEL LIKE EATING IS A TIME WHERE WE BOND, 312 00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:45,965 AND IT'S THE ONE THING THAT WE CAN DO TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER. 313 00:16:45,965 --> 00:16:50,034 ♪♪ 314 00:16:50,034 --> 00:16:53,137 Kim: HOLLY AND I HAVE HAD CONVERSATIONS 315 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:56,827 ABOUT EATING, DIETING, AND I KNOW AN ACCOMMODATER, 316 00:16:56,827 --> 00:16:59,275 BUT SHE IS HUNGRY ALL THE TIME, 317 00:16:59,275 --> 00:17:03,620 AND THE IDEA OF HER BEING HUNGRY JUST EATS ME UP. 318 00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:06,551 SO TO KEEP HER HAPPY, I SPOIL HER ROTTEN. 319 00:17:09,206 --> 00:17:11,586 Brent: HOLLY HAS A BIG APPETITE. 320 00:17:11,586 --> 00:17:16,034 IT'S LIKE SHE CAN'T GET THE FOOD INTO HER MOUTH FAST ENOUGH, 321 00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:17,551 AND I WORRY ABOUT HOLLY 322 00:17:17,551 --> 00:17:20,655 'CAUSE IT'S JUST NOT HEALTHY BEING THAT BIG. 323 00:17:20,655 --> 00:17:22,551 I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HER. 324 00:17:22,551 --> 00:17:25,482 NOBODY'S SUPPOSED TO HAVE TO BURY THEIR CHILDREN. 325 00:17:27,931 --> 00:17:29,862 Holly: MY PARENTS AND ME HAVE DINNER, 326 00:17:29,862 --> 00:17:33,413 BUT THAT MEAL IS JUST THE START OF MY DINNER. 327 00:17:33,413 --> 00:17:34,931 BECAUSE RAY HAS TO WORK LATE, 328 00:17:34,931 --> 00:17:37,344 HE COMES HOME AFTER WE'RE FINISHED, 329 00:17:37,344 --> 00:17:40,827 AND HE GETS FAST FOOD ON THE WAY HOME FOR BOTH OF US. 330 00:17:42,413 --> 00:17:44,758 SO ONCE I'VE FINISHED EATING WITH MY FAMILY, 331 00:17:44,758 --> 00:17:47,586 I GO AND GET READY FOR BED. 332 00:17:47,586 --> 00:17:50,862 AND THEN ME AND RAY WILL EAT TOGETHER BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP. 333 00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:54,586 ♪♪ 334 00:17:54,586 --> 00:17:56,275 I GOT THE FOOD, SWEETIE. 335 00:17:56,275 --> 00:18:03,620 ♪♪ 336 00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:07,586 Holly: BY THE END OF THE DAY, I KNOW I'VE EATEN A LOT. 337 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,758 I'VE HAD PROBABLY FOUR OR FIVE MEALS 338 00:18:09,758 --> 00:18:12,655 AND A WHOLE LOT OF SNACKS. 339 00:18:12,655 --> 00:18:14,758 AND I'D KEEP EATING IF I COULD, 340 00:18:14,758 --> 00:18:17,965 BECAUSE I'M NEVER FULL AND I ALWAYS WANT TO EAT. 341 00:18:20,241 --> 00:18:23,310 AND I KNOW MY EATING'S MORE OUT OF CONTROL THAN IT'S EVER BEEN 342 00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:27,000 AND THAT I'M GETTING TO A BREAKING POINT, 343 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,931 BUT I'VE TRIED TO STOP, AND I CAN'T. 344 00:18:28,931 --> 00:18:31,896 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 345 00:18:31,896 --> 00:18:35,413 AND I'M SCARED BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN'T KEEP GOING MUCH LONGER, 346 00:18:35,413 --> 00:18:36,827 AND I'M GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK 347 00:18:36,827 --> 00:18:39,068 OR SOMETHING IN MY BODY WILL JUST HIT THIS WALL, 348 00:18:39,068 --> 00:18:40,793 AND I'M GONNA DIE. 349 00:18:43,275 --> 00:18:47,482 I'M VERY CLOSE TO THE END OF MY ROPE. 350 00:18:47,482 --> 00:18:50,103 I KNOW IT, AND MY WHOLE FAMILY KNOWS IT. 351 00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:55,344 Ray: IF HOLLY DOESN'T GET THE HELP THAT SHE NEEDS, 352 00:18:55,344 --> 00:18:59,068 IT'S VERY POSSIBLE THAT I MIGHT WAKE UP 353 00:18:59,068 --> 00:19:01,413 AND HOLLY MIGHT BE DEAD. 354 00:19:01,413 --> 00:19:06,172 AND I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO WATCH SOMEBODY 355 00:19:06,172 --> 00:19:09,137 THAT I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART DIE. 356 00:19:09,137 --> 00:19:13,896 ♪♪ 357 00:19:13,896 --> 00:19:17,000 BEING OVER 600 POUNDS MAKES ME FEEL LIKE 358 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,689 I'M NEVER GOING TO AMOUNT TO ANYTHING, 359 00:19:19,689 --> 00:19:24,275 THAT I'M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO FULFILL ANY OF MY DREAMS, 360 00:19:24,275 --> 00:19:26,172 I'M NEVER GONNA HAVE A FAMILY. 361 00:19:26,172 --> 00:19:29,241 I'M NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO DO THE THINGS 362 00:19:29,241 --> 00:19:32,758 THAT I LAY IN BED AT NIGHT AND DREAM ABOUT. 363 00:19:32,758 --> 00:19:33,758 [ SNIFFLES ] 364 00:19:36,896 --> 00:19:39,448 I DON'T THINK I CAN LIVE LIKE THIS MUCH LONGER... 365 00:19:42,172 --> 00:19:44,103 BUT I'M SCARED THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO 366 00:19:44,103 --> 00:19:47,620 AND THAT I'M TOO FAR GONE TO GET HELP. 367 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,758 AND AT THIS POINT, IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME 368 00:19:49,758 --> 00:19:52,482 BEFORE I GO TO BED AND I JUST DON'T WAKE UP. 369 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:08,137 ♪♪ 370 00:20:08,137 --> 00:20:17,034 ♪♪ 371 00:20:17,034 --> 00:20:19,034 Holly: TODAY, ME AND RAY ARE PACKING UP 372 00:20:19,034 --> 00:20:21,172 TO HEAD TO HOUSTON AND SEE DR. NOW 373 00:20:21,172 --> 00:20:24,482 AND HOPEFULLY GET THE HELP I NEED. 374 00:20:24,482 --> 00:20:25,896 BUT I'M REALLY NERVOUS, 375 00:20:25,896 --> 00:20:29,655 BECAUSE I KNOW THIS IS GONNA BE A REALLY HARD TRIP. 376 00:20:29,655 --> 00:20:32,103 I DON'T USUALLY SPEND MORE THAN 10 TO 15 MINUTES 377 00:20:32,103 --> 00:20:34,172 AT A TIME IN THE CAR, 378 00:20:34,172 --> 00:20:38,206 AND EVEN AFTER THAT, IT STARTS TO GET REALLY PAINFUL FOR ME. 379 00:20:38,206 --> 00:20:42,275 AND THIS DRIVE IS AT LEAST A 12-TO-13-HOUR DRIVE, 380 00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:46,206 SO I KNOW I'M GONNA BE IN PAIN ON THE TRIP. 381 00:20:46,206 --> 00:20:50,103 SWEETHEART, CAN YOU COME HERE FOR A MINUTE, PLEASE? 382 00:20:50,103 --> 00:20:52,000 WHAT DO YOU NEED, SWEETIE? 383 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,586 WHY DON'T YOU PUT THE BAGS IN THE CAR 384 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,413 AND THEN COME BACK AND HELP ME? 385 00:20:55,413 --> 00:20:57,137 OKAY. 386 00:20:59,586 --> 00:21:01,034 AND WHEN I GET THERE, 387 00:21:01,034 --> 00:21:04,000 I'M SCARED TO FIND OUT HOW HIGH MY WEIGHT IS NOW 388 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,172 AND WHAT DR. NOW IS GONNA TELL ME. 389 00:21:07,172 --> 00:21:11,758 SO JUST HOPE THIS DOESN'T TURN OUT TO BE A BIG MISTAKE. 390 00:21:11,758 --> 00:21:14,137 HI.HI. 391 00:21:14,137 --> 00:21:16,379 ALL PACKED?I THINK WE'RE ALL PACKED. 392 00:21:16,379 --> 00:21:17,551 GOOD. 393 00:21:17,551 --> 00:21:21,172 ♪♪ 394 00:21:21,172 --> 00:21:23,275 Kim: I CAN TELL HOLLY IS ANXIOUS, 395 00:21:23,275 --> 00:21:25,896 AND I KNOW SHE'S KIND OF WORRIED ABOUT 396 00:21:25,896 --> 00:21:28,413 WHAT DR. NOW IS GONNA SAY ABOUT IT. 397 00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:31,793 I THINK SHE'S ANXIOUS ABOUT HOW SHE'S GONNA DO ON THE TRIP, 398 00:21:31,793 --> 00:21:36,068 BUT IT'S VERY IMPORTANT FOR HOLLY TO GO TO HOUSTON TODAY. 399 00:21:36,068 --> 00:21:39,379 IT'S VERY IMPORTANT FOR HER TO GET HELP. 400 00:21:39,379 --> 00:21:40,896 SO YOU'RE READY TO GO?YEP. 401 00:21:40,896 --> 00:21:43,448 BYE. 402 00:21:43,448 --> 00:21:44,758 BE SAFE. 403 00:21:44,758 --> 00:21:46,068 BE CAREFUL DRIVING. 404 00:21:46,068 --> 00:21:48,000 WE'VE GOT A PRECIOUS CARGO, REMEMBER. 405 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,034 OH, I KNOW. 406 00:21:50,034 --> 00:21:51,517 GOOD LUCK.LOVE YOU. 407 00:21:51,517 --> 00:21:53,551 LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU STOP FOR TONIGHT. 408 00:21:53,551 --> 00:21:57,137 OKAY. 409 00:21:57,137 --> 00:21:58,344 BE SAFE. 410 00:21:58,344 --> 00:21:59,241 I WILL. 411 00:21:59,241 --> 00:22:00,931 LET US KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING. 412 00:22:00,931 --> 00:22:02,655 OKAY. 413 00:22:06,068 --> 00:22:07,689 Ray: I KNOW THIS IS GONNA BE HARD, 414 00:22:07,689 --> 00:22:10,586 BUT IF WE DON'T DO THIS, 415 00:22:10,586 --> 00:22:12,827 I KNOW THE END RESULT IS DEATH. 416 00:22:15,482 --> 00:22:19,896 Holly: AS SCARED AS I AM, I KNOW MY LIFE IS RIDING ON THIS TRIP. 417 00:22:22,275 --> 00:22:23,793 I CAN FEEL THE END COMING, 418 00:22:23,793 --> 00:22:27,275 BECAUSE IT'S GETTING TOO HARD TO KEEP GOING, 419 00:22:27,275 --> 00:22:29,034 AND THAT TERRIFIES ME. 420 00:22:29,034 --> 00:22:33,034 [ LABORED BREATHING ] 421 00:22:33,034 --> 00:22:34,758 YEAH. 422 00:22:36,793 --> 00:22:38,241 SO THIS IS IT. 423 00:22:38,241 --> 00:22:40,620 THIS IS MY LAST OPTION. 424 00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:43,206 EITHER HOPE IS WAITING FOR ME IN HOUSTON, 425 00:22:43,206 --> 00:22:46,206 OR IT'S NOT GONNA BE LONG BEFORE I CAN'T GO ON. 426 00:22:46,206 --> 00:22:52,310 ♪♪ 427 00:22:52,310 --> 00:22:58,448 ♪♪ 428 00:22:58,448 --> 00:22:59,931 BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER, 429 00:22:59,931 --> 00:23:03,103 START LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO STOP. 430 00:23:03,103 --> 00:23:05,793 I NEED SOMETHING TO CALM MY NERVES. 431 00:23:05,793 --> 00:23:07,137 OKAY. 432 00:23:07,137 --> 00:23:09,206 WHEN WE STOP, I'M GONNA HAVE TO PUT A PILLOW 433 00:23:09,206 --> 00:23:10,793 OR SOMETHING UNDER MY TAILBONE. 434 00:23:10,793 --> 00:23:12,517 IT'S REALLY GETTING SORE. 435 00:23:12,517 --> 00:23:14,344 OKAY. 436 00:23:14,344 --> 00:23:16,931 I TAKE IT WE'RE EATING IN THE CAR? 437 00:23:16,931 --> 00:23:18,655 YEAH. 438 00:23:22,241 --> 00:23:27,310 CAN I GET TWO ASIAGO RANCH CHICKEN CLUB SANDWICHES 439 00:23:27,310 --> 00:23:29,517 AND TWO SINGLES? 440 00:23:29,517 --> 00:23:31,172 WOULD YOU LIKE TO ADD ANYTHING ELSE? 441 00:23:31,172 --> 00:23:32,448 NOPE. THAT'LL BE ALL. 442 00:23:32,448 --> 00:23:35,586 PULL AROUND TO YOUR FIRST WINDOW. 443 00:23:35,586 --> 00:23:36,793 Holly: FOR MY WHOLE LIFE, 444 00:23:36,793 --> 00:23:38,482 THE ONLY THING I'VE HAD TO RELY ON 445 00:23:38,482 --> 00:23:42,068 TO HELP ME SURVIVE IS FOOD. 446 00:23:42,068 --> 00:23:44,000 EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT IF I DON'T CHANGE 447 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,517 IT'S GONNA BE WHAT KILLS ME, 448 00:23:45,517 --> 00:23:47,655 I STILL HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO STOP. 449 00:23:50,827 --> 00:23:53,620 AND THE FACT THAT I ALREADY HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY ONCE 450 00:23:53,620 --> 00:23:56,000 AND IT FAILED SCARES ME, 451 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,068 BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW 452 00:23:57,068 --> 00:23:59,000 WHAT'S GONNA MAKE IT DIFFERENT THIS TIME 453 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:03,172 AND HOW I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO STOP RUNNING TO FOOD. 454 00:24:03,172 --> 00:24:05,275 IT FEELS LIKE GIVING UP MY BEST FRIEND 455 00:24:05,275 --> 00:24:09,068 AND THE ONLY JOY AND HAPPINESS IN MY LIFE. 456 00:24:09,068 --> 00:24:11,344 SO THERE'S A PART OF ME THAT DOESN'T EVEN KNOW 457 00:24:11,344 --> 00:24:13,448 IF THAT'S GONNA EVEN BE POSSIBLE. 458 00:24:13,448 --> 00:24:22,655 ♪♪ 459 00:24:22,655 --> 00:24:24,241 I HAVE TO GET OUT. 460 00:24:29,068 --> 00:24:32,586 OKAY. 461 00:24:32,586 --> 00:24:36,862 I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN RIGHT NOW. 462 00:24:36,862 --> 00:24:40,413 I CAN'T TAKE IT, SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO STOP. 463 00:24:40,413 --> 00:24:44,724 I WAS REALLY HOPING WE COULD MAKE IT FURTHER, BUT I CAN'T. 464 00:24:44,724 --> 00:24:47,344 I HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE CAR AND REST 465 00:24:47,344 --> 00:24:50,448 BECAUSE I'M DONE FOR THE DAY. 466 00:24:50,448 --> 00:24:59,862 ♪♪ 467 00:24:59,862 --> 00:25:02,241 MY APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW IS TOMORROW, 468 00:25:02,241 --> 00:25:05,620 AND WE STILL HAVE AROUND 10 HOURS TO GO TO GET THERE, 469 00:25:05,620 --> 00:25:08,413 BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GONNA MAKE IT. 470 00:25:08,413 --> 00:25:12,482 I'M GONNA HAVE TO REST MORE THAN I THOUGHT. 471 00:25:12,482 --> 00:25:16,000 OKAY. 472 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,482 SO WE'LL HAVE TO CALL HIM TO RESCHEDULE TO GIVE ME MORE TIME, 473 00:25:19,482 --> 00:25:23,241 AND I HOPE DR. NOW IS OKAY WITH THAT. 474 00:25:23,241 --> 00:25:26,482 THIS IS A LOT HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE, 475 00:25:26,482 --> 00:25:30,172 AND I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN. 476 00:25:30,172 --> 00:25:33,000 WE CAN TRY AGAIN TO MAKE IT FURTHER TOMORROW, 477 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,413 BUT RIGHT NOW I HURT WAY TOO MUCH, AND I'M DONE. 478 00:25:36,413 --> 00:25:42,172 ♪♪ 479 00:25:42,172 --> 00:25:47,931 ♪♪ 480 00:25:47,931 --> 00:25:50,689 GETTING CLOSER TO THE APPOINTMENT. 481 00:25:50,689 --> 00:25:52,862 GOT 1.2 MILES TO GO. 482 00:25:55,517 --> 00:25:58,827 I'M REALLY HAPPY THAT WE'RE FINALLY IN HOUSTON, 483 00:25:58,827 --> 00:26:02,655 BUT THIS TRIP HAS TAKEN A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD. 484 00:26:05,517 --> 00:26:09,379 IT'S BEEN SO PAINFUL AND HARD TO DO THIS, 485 00:26:09,379 --> 00:26:11,620 SO ALL MY HOPES AND EVERYTHING IS RIDING ON 486 00:26:11,620 --> 00:26:15,379 WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN AT THIS APPOINTMENT. 487 00:26:15,379 --> 00:26:17,896 SO I'M REALLY NERVOUS, BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA 488 00:26:17,896 --> 00:26:22,448 HOW THIS IS GONNA GO OR WHAT DR. NOW WILL TELL ME, 489 00:26:22,448 --> 00:26:24,965 AND I'M REALLY SCARED TO FIND OUT WHAT I WEIGH 490 00:26:24,965 --> 00:26:26,655 AND IF I'VE GAINED A LOT 491 00:26:26,655 --> 00:26:29,137 SINCE THE LAST TIME I WAS WEIGHED. 492 00:26:31,827 --> 00:26:34,793 HOLLY HAGER. 493 00:26:34,793 --> 00:26:36,482 Holly: I'M SCARED THAT DR. NOW WILL SAY 494 00:26:36,482 --> 00:26:39,034 BECAUSE I ALREADY HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY ONCE, 495 00:26:39,034 --> 00:26:43,448 THAT A SECOND TIME WON'T WORK EITHER. 496 00:26:43,448 --> 00:26:45,172 AND IF THAT HAPPENS, 497 00:26:45,172 --> 00:26:48,413 NOT ONLY WILL THIS WHOLE MISERABLE TRIP BE A WASTE, 498 00:26:48,413 --> 00:26:51,034 BUT I'LL HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO TURN FOR HELP. 499 00:26:56,379 --> 00:27:05,931 ♪♪ 500 00:27:05,931 --> 00:27:09,172 Holly: I'M AT DR. NOW'S FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT, 501 00:27:09,172 --> 00:27:11,620 AND I'M REALLY HOPING HE CAN HELP ME FIND A WAY 502 00:27:11,620 --> 00:27:14,172 TO GET MY WEIGHT UNDER CONTROL. 503 00:27:14,172 --> 00:27:17,896 I WAS AROUND 600 POUNDS THE LAST TIME I WAS ON A SCALE, 504 00:27:17,896 --> 00:27:20,551 AND I'M SCARED IF I'VE GAINED EVEN MORE SINCE THEN, 505 00:27:20,551 --> 00:27:22,862 THE DOCTOR'S GONNA THINK I CAN'T BE HELPED 506 00:27:22,862 --> 00:27:25,137 BECAUSE I ALREADY HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY 507 00:27:25,137 --> 00:27:27,310 AND THAT I'M JUST A LOST CAUSE. 508 00:27:27,310 --> 00:27:30,862 SO I'M HOPING I'M STILL AT LEAST AROUND 600 POUNDS. 509 00:27:30,862 --> 00:27:37,793 ♪♪ 510 00:27:37,793 --> 00:27:40,862 THAT'S REALLY DISCOURAGING. 511 00:27:40,862 --> 00:27:44,034 I'M SCARED THAT THE NUMBER IS THAT HIGH, 512 00:27:44,034 --> 00:27:47,275 AND I'M ASHAMED THAT I LET MYSELF GET SO BIG. 513 00:27:49,724 --> 00:27:52,413 IF DR. NOWZARADAN DOESN'T TAKE ME AS A PATIENT, 514 00:27:52,413 --> 00:27:54,793 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO. 515 00:27:54,793 --> 00:27:58,241 ♪♪ 516 00:27:58,241 --> 00:27:59,448 [ KNOCKING AT DOOR ] 517 00:27:59,448 --> 00:28:01,517 COME IN. 518 00:28:01,517 --> 00:28:03,206 HELLO. 519 00:28:03,206 --> 00:28:04,620 HI, DR. NOWZARADAN. 520 00:28:04,620 --> 00:28:07,275 YOU ALL FINALLY MADE IT.MM-HMM. 521 00:28:07,275 --> 00:28:08,655 BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. 522 00:28:08,655 --> 00:28:09,655 YEAH. 523 00:28:09,655 --> 00:28:11,793 ALL RIGHT, SO, HOW YOU FEELING? 524 00:28:11,793 --> 00:28:12,931 LITTLE SORE. 525 00:28:12,931 --> 00:28:14,482 I CAN IMAGINE. 526 00:28:14,482 --> 00:28:16,793 YOU'VE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FOUR DAYS. 527 00:28:16,793 --> 00:28:18,379 YEP. LONG TRIP. 528 00:28:18,379 --> 00:28:21,275 YES, IT WAS, BUT IT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN. 529 00:28:21,275 --> 00:28:22,896 SO IT'S CONCERNING THAT YOU COULD 530 00:28:22,896 --> 00:28:25,000 BARELY HANDLE TRIP DOWN HERE, 531 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,586 BUT I'M GLAD YOU MADE IT TO HOUSTON OKAY. 532 00:28:27,586 --> 00:28:29,931 RIGHT.AND IT'S GOOD TO MEET YOU BOTH. 533 00:28:29,931 --> 00:28:31,068 THANK YOU. 534 00:28:31,068 --> 00:28:33,724 I ASSUME THIS IS YOUR FIANCé RAY. 535 00:28:33,724 --> 00:28:35,137 YES, THIS IS MY BETTER HALF. 536 00:28:35,137 --> 00:28:36,275 THIS IS MY FIANCé. 537 00:28:36,275 --> 00:28:38,551 ALL RIGHT, AND YOU TWO ARE HERE 538 00:28:38,551 --> 00:28:41,965 BECAUSE YOUR WEIGHT IS AT 658 TODAY. 539 00:28:41,965 --> 00:28:43,965 SO WALK ME THROUGH WHAT YOU EAT 540 00:28:43,965 --> 00:28:47,137 WHEN YOU WAKE UP TILL YOU GO TO BED. 541 00:28:47,137 --> 00:28:49,344 I'LL EAT BREAKFAST AND LUNCH AT HOME AND -- 542 00:28:49,344 --> 00:28:50,586 AND WHAT DO YOU EAT FOR BREAKFAST? 543 00:28:50,586 --> 00:28:53,103 I EAST A COUPLE BOWLS OF CEREAL AND SOME TOAST 544 00:28:53,103 --> 00:28:55,275 WITH SUGAR-FREE JAM, 545 00:28:55,275 --> 00:28:58,586 AND THEN FOR LUNCH ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER, 546 00:28:58,586 --> 00:29:00,931 I'LL HAVE THREE OR FOUR SANDWICHES, 547 00:29:00,931 --> 00:29:05,413 LIKE BOLOGNA SANDWICHES OR FRIED-CHICKEN-PATTY SANDWICHES. 548 00:29:05,413 --> 00:29:07,344 AND THEN HE'LL USUALLY STOP 549 00:29:07,344 --> 00:29:10,344 AND GET A COUPLE OF FAST-FOOD SANDWICHES 550 00:29:10,344 --> 00:29:13,793 AND SOME FRIES ON HIS WAY HOME FROM WORK AROUND MIDNIGHT. 551 00:29:13,793 --> 00:29:17,206 WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT, BUT IT DOES NOT EXPLAIN 552 00:29:17,206 --> 00:29:20,586 HOW YOU'RE STARTING TO APPROACH BEING 700 POUNDS. 553 00:29:20,586 --> 00:29:23,862 SO EITHER YOU'RE LYING AND NOT TELLING ME EVERYTHING, 554 00:29:23,862 --> 00:29:27,103 OR YOU AREN'T REALIZING HOW MUCH YOU ACTUALLY EAT. 555 00:29:27,103 --> 00:29:29,793 SO THAT'S SOMETHING THAT WE NEED TO ADDRESS. 556 00:29:29,793 --> 00:29:31,000 OKAY. 557 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,551 BUT ACCORDING TO YOUR MEDICAL HISTORY, 558 00:29:32,551 --> 00:29:36,068 ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO YOU TRIED TO CHANGE YOUR EATING HABIT 559 00:29:36,068 --> 00:29:37,655 BY GETTING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 560 00:29:37,655 --> 00:29:40,206 SO YOU HAD GASTRIC BYPASS. 561 00:29:40,206 --> 00:29:41,931 I DID, IN 2008. 562 00:29:41,931 --> 00:29:45,137 AND AT THAT TIME, HOW MUCH YOU WEIGH? 563 00:29:45,137 --> 00:29:48,000 WHEN I STARTED THE PROCESS OF SURGERY, 564 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,586 I WEIGHED ABOUT 600 POUNDS. 565 00:29:50,586 --> 00:29:54,689 AND AFTER YOU HAD THE BYPASS, HOW MUCH DID YOU LOSE? 566 00:29:54,689 --> 00:29:57,137 I GOT DOWN TO 398 POUNDS 567 00:29:57,137 --> 00:29:59,689 BEFORE I STARTED REGAINING NINE MONTHS POST-OP. 568 00:29:59,689 --> 00:30:01,206 SO YOU MADE SOME PROGRESS, 569 00:30:01,206 --> 00:30:03,172 BUT THEN WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT? 570 00:30:03,172 --> 00:30:05,862 I THINK THAT'S WHEN MY STAPLING CAME APART, 571 00:30:05,862 --> 00:30:08,586 BUT I DIDN'T FIND OUT UNTIL THREE YEARS AGO 572 00:30:08,586 --> 00:30:11,517 THAT MY STAPLE LINE IN MY STOMACH CAME APART. 573 00:30:11,517 --> 00:30:14,482 AND I WAS ABLE TO EAT MORE AT THAT POINT, 574 00:30:14,482 --> 00:30:17,689 AND I REGAINED ALL OF THE WEIGHT PLUS SOME. 575 00:30:17,689 --> 00:30:21,689 OKAY, SO YOU NEVER DEALT WITH THE ISSUES DRIVING YOU TO EAT. 576 00:30:21,689 --> 00:30:24,310 AND THE ODDS OF LONG-TERM FAILURE 577 00:30:24,310 --> 00:30:26,655 ARE HIGH FOR SOMEONE AT YOUR WEIGHT. 578 00:30:26,655 --> 00:30:28,137 OKAY. 579 00:30:28,137 --> 00:30:30,862 BUT IT'S EVEN HIGHER FOR SOMEONE AT YOUR WEIGHT 580 00:30:30,862 --> 00:30:33,724 WHO ALREADY HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY BEFORE. 581 00:30:33,724 --> 00:30:37,275 SO WHAT YOU GONNA DO THIS TIME THAT YOU DIDN'T DO LAST TIME 582 00:30:37,275 --> 00:30:40,965 THAT IS GOING TO MAKE YOUR LONG-TERM RESULT ANY DIFFERENT? 583 00:30:40,965 --> 00:30:43,103 WE CAN EAT BETTER...OKAY. 584 00:30:43,103 --> 00:30:45,034 AND WE CAN MAKE CHANGES 585 00:30:45,034 --> 00:30:48,413 AND THEN, HOPEFULLY, GET THE GASTRIC BYPASS FIXED 586 00:30:48,413 --> 00:30:53,379 SO THAT I'M ABLE TO MAKE THOSE CHANGES MORE PERMANENT. 587 00:30:53,379 --> 00:30:56,275 OKAY, WELL, WHAT I'M SEEING SO FAR, 588 00:30:56,275 --> 00:30:58,103 WE HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO 589 00:30:58,103 --> 00:31:01,655 BEFORE YOU'RE READY FOR ME TO CONSIDER YOU FOR THAT. 590 00:31:01,655 --> 00:31:04,275 BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR ENABLERS. 591 00:31:04,275 --> 00:31:06,068 IS RAY YOUR ENABLER? 592 00:31:06,068 --> 00:31:07,310 PRETTY MUCH. 593 00:31:07,310 --> 00:31:11,517 I SEE THAT HE ALSO HAS A LITTLE BIT WEIGHT PROBLEM... 594 00:31:11,517 --> 00:31:13,000 YEAH. 595 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:16,275 AND LIKELY USES YOU FOR AN EXCUSE TO OVEREAT WITH YOU. 596 00:31:16,275 --> 00:31:17,448 YES, ABSOLUTELY. 597 00:31:17,448 --> 00:31:19,448 OKAY, SO WHO ELSE IS IN THE HOUSE 598 00:31:19,448 --> 00:31:22,551 THAT BRINGS YOU FOOD AND ENABLES YOU? 599 00:31:22,551 --> 00:31:24,862 MY MOM. SHE HELPS ME SHOP FOR FOOD. 600 00:31:24,862 --> 00:31:26,655 IS SHE OVERWEIGHT, TOO?YES. 601 00:31:26,655 --> 00:31:29,379 ALL RIGHT, SO YOU HAVE A TEAM OF ENABLERS 602 00:31:29,379 --> 00:31:31,862 WORKING TOGETHER TO FEED YOU ALL DAY 603 00:31:31,862 --> 00:31:36,413 AND USE YOU AS AN EXCUSE TO OVEREAT WITH YOU. 604 00:31:36,413 --> 00:31:38,620 THAT'S NOT GOOD. 605 00:31:38,620 --> 00:31:41,275 THE FACTORS I'M SEEING AROUND HOLLY 606 00:31:41,275 --> 00:31:44,689 ARE GOING TO BE EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO ADDRESS. 607 00:31:44,689 --> 00:31:46,931 THE FACT THAT SHE COULDN'T BE IN THE CAR 608 00:31:46,931 --> 00:31:49,379 FOR MORE THAN FEW HOURS AT A TIME 609 00:31:49,379 --> 00:31:54,137 IS NOT JUST BECAUSE HER PHYSICAL STAMINA IS HORRIBLE RIGHT NOW, 610 00:31:54,137 --> 00:31:58,551 BUT SHOWS HER COMPLETE INABILITY AND UNWILLINGNESS 611 00:31:58,551 --> 00:32:02,793 TO TOLERATE ANYTHING THAT IS HARD OR UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HER. 612 00:32:02,793 --> 00:32:04,551 AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT, 613 00:32:04,551 --> 00:32:07,103 SHE ALREADY HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY ONCE, 614 00:32:07,103 --> 00:32:09,551 AND IT FAILED, SHOWING THAT SHE REFUSED 615 00:32:09,551 --> 00:32:13,068 TO GIVE UP HER COMFORT AND SECURITY BLANKET 616 00:32:13,068 --> 00:32:15,551 EVEN THOUGH SHE KNEW THAT SHE WAS STARTING 617 00:32:15,551 --> 00:32:19,586 TO GET TO A BREAKING POINT WITH HER WEIGHT. 618 00:32:19,586 --> 00:32:22,068 HOLLY, YOU'RE 38 YEARS OLD 619 00:32:22,068 --> 00:32:25,551 AND ON YOUR WAY TO BEING 700 POUNDS SOON. 620 00:32:25,551 --> 00:32:26,793 OKAY. 621 00:32:26,793 --> 00:32:28,862 SO THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO SHOW ME 622 00:32:28,862 --> 00:32:32,344 THAT YOU'RE READY TO FINALLY MAKE THE CHANGES YOU NEED. 623 00:32:32,344 --> 00:32:35,413 I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A 1,200-CALORIE-A-DAY, 624 00:32:35,413 --> 00:32:40,034 HIGH-PROTEIN, LOW-CARB DIET, AND I WANT YOU TO START ON THAT 625 00:32:40,034 --> 00:32:43,758 AND LOSE 50 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT 2 MONTHS, OKAY? 626 00:32:43,758 --> 00:32:45,241 OKAY. 627 00:32:45,241 --> 00:32:48,034 AND YOU NEED TO ALSO START TO CHANGE YOUR DYNAMIC AT HOME 628 00:32:48,034 --> 00:32:50,551 AND START DOING THINGS FOR YOURSELF 629 00:32:50,551 --> 00:32:53,344 INSTEAD OF RELYING ON YOUR ENABLERS. 630 00:32:53,344 --> 00:32:55,655 AND YOU NEED TO DO THIS AS A FAMILY. 631 00:32:55,655 --> 00:32:59,206 SO, RAY AND YOUR MOM NEED TO GET ON BOARD. 632 00:32:59,206 --> 00:33:02,655 I ALSO WANT YOU TO START WALKING IN THE MORNING 633 00:33:02,655 --> 00:33:05,689 AND IN THE EVENING FOR A TOTAL OF AN HOUR A DAY, 634 00:33:05,689 --> 00:33:08,137 BECAUSE YOUR STAMINA IS HORRIBLE 635 00:33:08,137 --> 00:33:12,275 IF IT TOOK YOU FOUR DAYS TO GET TO HOUSTON FROM GEORGIA. 636 00:33:12,275 --> 00:33:14,379 NORMALLY, I WOULD CONSIDER THE DISTANCE 637 00:33:14,379 --> 00:33:16,448 ON THE EDGE OF JUST CLOSE ENOUGH 638 00:33:16,448 --> 00:33:20,586 THAT YOU WOULDN'T NEED TO MOVE TO HOUSTON TO DO THE PROGRAM, 639 00:33:20,586 --> 00:33:23,482 BECAUSE YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET HERE IN A DAY. 640 00:33:23,482 --> 00:33:26,586 SO YOU NEED TO BUILD UP YOUR STAMINA. 641 00:33:26,586 --> 00:33:28,620 TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR SITUATION. 642 00:33:28,620 --> 00:33:30,482 YOU'RE NO LONGER A CHILD, 643 00:33:30,482 --> 00:33:33,206 SO STOP ACTING LIKE ONE. 644 00:33:33,206 --> 00:33:37,068 YOU'RE ALMOST 40 AND HAVING YOUR MOM TAKING CARE OF YOU. 645 00:33:37,068 --> 00:33:39,724 AND USING RAY JUST LIKE ANOTHER PARENT 646 00:33:39,724 --> 00:33:43,724 IS GOING TO BE A DYNAMIC THAT LEADS TO YOUR EARLY DEATH. 647 00:33:43,724 --> 00:33:45,586 SO THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE, 648 00:33:45,586 --> 00:33:48,517 AND IT'S UP TO YOU IF YOU WANT TO DO THIS. 649 00:33:48,517 --> 00:33:50,275 ANY QUESTIONS? 650 00:33:50,275 --> 00:33:51,655 I THINK YOU'VE ANSWERED EVERYTHING. 651 00:33:51,655 --> 00:33:53,103 THANK YOU, DR. NOW. 652 00:33:53,103 --> 00:33:55,896 OKAY, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, GIVE US A CALL, 653 00:33:55,896 --> 00:33:57,827 AND I WILL SEE YOU IN TWO MONTHS. 654 00:33:57,827 --> 00:33:59,137 NICE TO MEET YOU, DR. NOWZARADAN. 655 00:33:59,137 --> 00:34:01,137 ALL RIGHT, AND NICE TO MEET YOU. 656 00:34:01,137 --> 00:34:02,482 ALL RIGHT.THANK YOU. 657 00:34:02,482 --> 00:34:04,724 YOU CAN DO THIS, AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON. 658 00:34:04,724 --> 00:34:05,862 OKAY, SOUNDS GOOD. 659 00:34:05,862 --> 00:34:08,379 OKAY. 660 00:34:08,379 --> 00:34:11,758 THERE IS A LOT THAT HOLLY'S GOING TO HAVE TO FACE 661 00:34:11,758 --> 00:34:15,379 AND START TO CHANGE IF SHE WANTS TO HAVE ANY CHANCE 662 00:34:15,379 --> 00:34:19,241 TO BE ABLE TO TURN HER LIFE AROUND BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. 663 00:34:19,241 --> 00:34:22,965 BUT RIGHT NOW, I NEED HER TO START BY SHOWING ME 664 00:34:22,965 --> 00:34:24,931 THAT SHE'S WILLING TO WORK HARD 665 00:34:24,931 --> 00:34:27,068 AND START MAKING SOME OF THE CHANGES 666 00:34:27,068 --> 00:34:29,896 SHE NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS. 667 00:34:29,896 --> 00:34:33,137 BECAUSE IF SHE'S NOT, THEN NOTHING WE DO 668 00:34:33,137 --> 00:34:37,206 WILL TURN HER SITUATION AROUND ENOUGH TO SAVE HER LIFE. 669 00:34:37,206 --> 00:34:42,000 ♪♪ 670 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,517 Holly: I THINK I'M ACTUALLY EVEN MORE SCARED NOW 671 00:34:44,517 --> 00:34:47,344 THAN I WAS BEFORE MY APPOINTMENT, 672 00:34:47,344 --> 00:34:51,931 BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO WHAT DR. NOW WANTS ME TO DO. 673 00:34:51,931 --> 00:34:55,206 I WAS WORRIED HE WAS GONNA TELL ME HE CAN'T HELP ME, 674 00:34:55,206 --> 00:34:59,172 BUT HAVING TO DO ALL THIS FEELS PRETTY MUCH LIKE THE SAME THING. 675 00:34:59,172 --> 00:35:01,344 SO I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO GIVE UP 676 00:35:01,344 --> 00:35:03,344 ALL THE FOOD THAT I LIKE. 677 00:35:03,344 --> 00:35:05,862 AND IF I DON'T, I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE BAD 678 00:35:05,862 --> 00:35:10,034 BECAUSE I'LL LOSE THIS CHANCE TO GET HELP. 679 00:35:10,034 --> 00:35:13,827 DR. NOW IS THE LAST PERSON I HAVE TO TURN TO, 680 00:35:13,827 --> 00:35:16,827 AND I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO LAST MUCH LONGER. 681 00:35:16,827 --> 00:35:18,689 SO I'M REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW. 682 00:35:18,689 --> 00:35:25,241 ♪♪ 683 00:35:25,241 --> 00:35:31,758 ♪♪ 684 00:35:31,758 --> 00:35:36,448 IT'S BEEN ABOUT A MONTH SINCE MY APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW. 685 00:35:36,448 --> 00:35:37,965 I'VE BEEN WORKING ON MAKING THE CHANGES 686 00:35:37,965 --> 00:35:40,068 I NEED TO DO HIS DIET AND EXERCISE 687 00:35:40,068 --> 00:35:42,862 TO GET MY STAMINA UP LIKE I NEED, 688 00:35:42,862 --> 00:35:45,551 AND I'M TRYING TO RELY LESS ON THE WHEELCHAIR 689 00:35:45,551 --> 00:35:47,551 AND MOVE AROUND MORE. 690 00:35:47,551 --> 00:35:49,137 AND I FEEL LIKE I'M MAKING PROGRESS 691 00:35:49,137 --> 00:35:51,827 AND THAT I'M LOOKING A LITTLE SMALLER. 692 00:35:51,827 --> 00:35:55,551 I JUST REALLY HOPE IT'S ENOUGH, BECAUSE I'M SACRIFICING A LOT 693 00:35:55,551 --> 00:35:57,620 AND WORKING REALLY HARD TO DO THIS. 694 00:35:57,620 --> 00:36:01,000 ♪♪ 695 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,344 HEY.YOU WANT TO CUT THIS UP? 696 00:36:02,344 --> 00:36:04,241 YEP, I'LL START CHOPPING THE LETTUCE. 697 00:36:04,241 --> 00:36:07,068 ARE YOU GONNA HAVE SALAD, TOO, OR IS IT JUST ME? 698 00:36:07,068 --> 00:36:08,241 JUST YOU. 699 00:36:08,241 --> 00:36:09,275 I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE A SANDWICH. 700 00:36:09,275 --> 00:36:11,000 OKAY. 701 00:36:13,413 --> 00:36:16,551 THE HARDEST PART OF ALL THIS IS THE DIET. 702 00:36:16,551 --> 00:36:18,206 IT'S BEEN DIFFICULT GIVING UP THE FOOD 703 00:36:18,206 --> 00:36:20,724 I LOVE AND CRAVE AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD, 704 00:36:20,724 --> 00:36:23,896 AND I'M REALLY STRUGGLING WITH THAT. 705 00:36:23,896 --> 00:36:26,068 FOOD HAS BEEN WHAT'S THERE FOR ME, 706 00:36:26,068 --> 00:36:29,000 AND IT'S BEEN WHAT'S COMFORTED ME MY WHOLE LIFE. 707 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,965 SO COMPLETELY CHANGING THAT INSTANTLY 708 00:36:30,965 --> 00:36:33,931 JUST ISN'T EASY AT ALL. 709 00:36:33,931 --> 00:36:36,551 AND WHAT MAKES IT EVEN HARDER IS THAT MY FAMILY DECIDED 710 00:36:36,551 --> 00:36:39,517 THEY WEREN'T GONNA DO THE DIET WITH ME. 711 00:36:39,517 --> 00:36:42,275 RAY AND MY MOM ARE STILL EATING WHAT THEY WANT, 712 00:36:42,275 --> 00:36:44,413 AND HAVING SOME OF THAT TEMPTATION AROUND ME 713 00:36:44,413 --> 00:36:46,379 MAKES IT EVEN HARDER. 714 00:36:46,379 --> 00:36:50,482 SO I FEEL REALLY LONELY, AND SOME DAYS EVEN DEPRESSED. 715 00:36:50,482 --> 00:36:54,413 BUT I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR ME TO DO THIS. 716 00:36:54,413 --> 00:36:57,310 SO I'M TRYING TO JUST TAKE IT A DAY AT A TIME 717 00:36:57,310 --> 00:36:59,551 AND FOCUS ON WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. 718 00:36:59,551 --> 00:37:03,482 ♪♪ 719 00:37:03,482 --> 00:37:06,931 BOY, THAT SANDWICH LOOKS A LOT BETTER THAN THIS SALAD DOES. 720 00:37:06,931 --> 00:37:08,620 I WOULD HAVE TO AGREE. 721 00:37:08,620 --> 00:37:12,586 [ LAUGHS ] 722 00:37:12,586 --> 00:37:14,655 I HAVE ONE MONTH BEFORE MY FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT 723 00:37:14,655 --> 00:37:16,379 WITH DR. NOW, 724 00:37:16,379 --> 00:37:19,586 AN I KNOW IF I DON'T GET TO WHERE I NEED BY THEN AND I FAIL, 725 00:37:19,586 --> 00:37:21,413 THEN I'M NOT GONNA GET WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY 726 00:37:21,413 --> 00:37:23,103 AND THE HELP I NEED. 727 00:37:23,103 --> 00:37:26,241 AND I KNOW THAT'S MY ONLY CHANCE TO TURN MY LIFE AROUND. 728 00:37:26,241 --> 00:37:33,379 ♪♪ 729 00:37:33,379 --> 00:37:40,551 ♪♪ 730 00:37:40,551 --> 00:37:42,413 ME AND RAY MADE IT BACK TO HOUSTON 731 00:37:42,413 --> 00:37:44,689 TO SEE DR. NOW FOR MY FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT 732 00:37:44,689 --> 00:37:46,620 AND FIND OUT IF I'M GETTING APPROVED 733 00:37:46,620 --> 00:37:49,379 FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 734 00:37:49,379 --> 00:37:52,172 IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS SINCE MY LAST APPOINTMENT WITH HIM, 735 00:37:52,172 --> 00:37:53,793 AND I'M HOPING THAT I HIT MY GOALS 736 00:37:53,793 --> 00:37:58,172 AND THAT I'M GONNA GET APPROVED FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY TODAY. 737 00:37:58,172 --> 00:38:01,000 IT'S BEEN EXTREMELY HARD DEALING WITH MY CRAVINGS, 738 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:04,344 BUT I WORKED HARD AND STUCK TO THE DIET. 739 00:38:04,344 --> 00:38:06,379 THE ONLY THING THAT HAS ME REALLY WORRIED 740 00:38:06,379 --> 00:38:08,827 IS THAT WE'RE A FEW DAYS LATE AGAIN, 741 00:38:08,827 --> 00:38:12,517 BECAUSE I JUST COULDN'T GO FOR TOO LONG IN THE CAR, 742 00:38:12,517 --> 00:38:15,620 AND I HAD TO STOP TO LAY DOWN AND TAKE BREAKS AGAIN 743 00:38:15,620 --> 00:38:17,896 LIKE I DID THE FIRST TIME. 744 00:38:17,896 --> 00:38:21,310 AND ONE OF THE GOALS DR. NOW GAVE ME WAS TO GET MY STAMINA UP 745 00:38:21,310 --> 00:38:23,827 TO BE ABLE TO MAKE THE TRIP IN A DAY. 746 00:38:23,827 --> 00:38:28,103 SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S GONNA SAY ABOUT THAT. 747 00:38:28,103 --> 00:38:30,206 HOLLY HAGER. 748 00:38:30,206 --> 00:38:32,758 BUT I'M HOPING IF I LOST WHAT I NEEDED 749 00:38:32,758 --> 00:38:34,448 THAT DR. NOW WILL SEE THAT 750 00:38:34,448 --> 00:38:37,034 AND THINK THAT'S ENOUGH TO APPROVE ME, 751 00:38:37,034 --> 00:38:41,689 BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN'T KEEP GOING LIKE THIS. 752 00:38:45,310 --> 00:38:55,241 ♪♪ 753 00:38:55,241 --> 00:38:58,551 Holly: I'M AT DR. NOW'S FOR MY SECOND APPOINTMENT, 754 00:38:58,551 --> 00:39:00,482 AND I'M REALLY HOPING TO SEE IF I MADE IT 755 00:39:00,482 --> 00:39:02,689 TO MY WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL OF LOSING 50 POUNDS 756 00:39:02,689 --> 00:39:05,517 OVER THE LAST 2 MONTHS. 757 00:39:05,517 --> 00:39:07,034 BUT I'M REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW, 758 00:39:07,034 --> 00:39:10,172 BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS RIDING ON THIS. 759 00:39:10,172 --> 00:39:12,758 I WAS AT 658, SO THAT MEANS I NEED TO BE 760 00:39:12,758 --> 00:39:15,896 AT LEAST BELOW 608 TODAY. 761 00:39:15,896 --> 00:39:18,724 SO I HOPE I DID THAT, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD 762 00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:20,896 TO DO THIS AND GET APPROVED TODAY. 763 00:39:20,896 --> 00:39:30,413 ♪♪ 764 00:39:30,413 --> 00:39:33,517 I'M DISAPPOINTED ABOUT THE NUMBER ON THE SCALE. 765 00:39:33,517 --> 00:39:36,793 I REALLY HAD THOUGHT THAT I LOST MORE. 766 00:39:36,793 --> 00:39:39,689 SO I'M REALLY UPSET AND DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. 767 00:39:44,620 --> 00:39:46,620 AND I NOT ONLY MISSED MY GOAL, 768 00:39:46,620 --> 00:39:50,724 BUT MY STAMINA ISN'T UP LIKE DR. NOW WANTED. 769 00:39:50,724 --> 00:39:53,413 SO I DON'T THINK THIS APPOINTMENT IS GONNA GO WELL. 770 00:39:56,344 --> 00:39:57,689 HELLO. HOW YOU ALL DOING? 771 00:39:57,689 --> 00:39:59,551 HI. DOING OKAY. 772 00:39:59,551 --> 00:40:01,241 IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU TWO AGAIN, 773 00:40:01,241 --> 00:40:04,241 BUT YOU'RE A FEW DAYS LATE, JUST LIKE THE LAST TIME. 774 00:40:04,241 --> 00:40:06,586 SO I'M GUESSING THE SAME THING HAPPENED, 775 00:40:06,586 --> 00:40:11,793 WHICH MEANS YOUR STAMINA IS JUST AS BAD AS IT WAS TWO MONTHS AGO. 776 00:40:11,793 --> 00:40:14,448 MM-HMM.SO THAT'S NOT GOOD AT ALL. 777 00:40:14,448 --> 00:40:18,137 AND TO TOP IT OFF, YOU'RE ONLY DOWN TO 629 POUNDS. 778 00:40:18,137 --> 00:40:19,344 MM-HMM. 779 00:40:19,344 --> 00:40:21,724 SO YOU ONLY LOST A LITTLE OVER HALF 780 00:40:21,724 --> 00:40:24,344 OF WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FOR YOUR GOAL. 781 00:40:24,344 --> 00:40:26,965 YEAH... NOT TOO HAPPY ABOUT THAT. 782 00:40:26,965 --> 00:40:29,275 SO YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED? 783 00:40:29,275 --> 00:40:31,586 AND DON'T TRY TO LIE TO ME. 784 00:40:31,586 --> 00:40:33,482 I WAS JUST EYEBALLING MY PORTIONS 785 00:40:33,482 --> 00:40:35,448 INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY MEASURING THEM OUT, 786 00:40:35,448 --> 00:40:37,896 SO I THINK I WAS JUST EATING BIGGER PORTIONS 787 00:40:37,896 --> 00:40:39,827 THAN I THOUGHT I WAS. 788 00:40:39,827 --> 00:40:43,034 WELL, AT YOUR WEIGHT, TO ONLY LOSE 15 POUNDS A MONTH 789 00:40:43,034 --> 00:40:45,206 MEANS THAT YOU WERE STILL TAKING IN 790 00:40:45,206 --> 00:40:48,655 BETWEEN 5,000 TO 6,000 CALORIES A DAY. 791 00:40:48,655 --> 00:40:51,068 SO IT IS NOT POSSIBLE THAT IS ONLY 792 00:40:51,068 --> 00:40:54,793 BECAUSE YOU WERE NOT WATCHING THE PORTION SIZES. 793 00:40:54,793 --> 00:40:56,034 OKAY. 794 00:40:56,034 --> 00:40:57,931 SO TELL ME WHAT ELSE COULD HAVE CONTRIBUTED 795 00:40:57,931 --> 00:41:00,275 TO YOUR LACK OF PROGRESS. 796 00:41:00,275 --> 00:41:02,206 IT'S JUST BEEN REALLY HARD, BECAUSE -- 797 00:41:02,206 --> 00:41:04,655 BECAUSE LAST WEEK I HAD A LOT OF CRAVINGS. 798 00:41:04,655 --> 00:41:06,896 SO I KNOW THERE WAS A COUPLE OF TIMES 799 00:41:06,896 --> 00:41:09,068 THAT I DIDN'T STICK TO THE PLAN. 800 00:41:09,068 --> 00:41:11,448 NO ONE SAID THIS WILL BE EASY. 801 00:41:11,448 --> 00:41:12,482 IT'S NOT. 802 00:41:12,482 --> 00:41:15,103 BUT IT IS ULTIMATELY A CHOICE. 803 00:41:15,103 --> 00:41:18,068 SO LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU YOUR SITUATION. 804 00:41:18,068 --> 00:41:19,517 OKAY. 805 00:41:19,517 --> 00:41:24,000 SOMEONE OVER 600 POUNDS HAS LESS THAN 5% SUCCESS RATE 806 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:27,379 LONG-TERM TO LOSE THE WEIGHT AND KEEP IT OFF. 807 00:41:27,379 --> 00:41:30,655 IF THAT PERSON ALREADY HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 808 00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:34,172 THEN THE CHANCES DROP TO 1%. 809 00:41:34,172 --> 00:41:38,482 SO ALL THE ODDS AT THIS POINT ARE STACKED AGAINST YOU, 810 00:41:38,482 --> 00:41:42,793 AND THE ONLY CHANCE YOU HAVE IS TO MAKE THE CHOICE RIGHT NOW 811 00:41:42,793 --> 00:41:45,758 TO SHOW ME THAT YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU NEED. 812 00:41:45,758 --> 00:41:49,931 BUT WHAT HAPPENS FROM HERE IS UP TO YOU, ALL RIGHT? 813 00:41:49,931 --> 00:41:52,724 OKAY. 814 00:41:52,724 --> 00:41:55,896 Dr. Now: NOT ONLY IS HOLLY'S LACK OF WEIGHT LOSS 815 00:41:55,896 --> 00:41:59,724 DISAPPOINTING, BUT SHE CLEARLY DIDN'T EXERCISE MUCH, EITHER. 816 00:41:59,724 --> 00:42:03,000 SO WHAT SHE'S SHOWN ME SO FAR IS THAT 817 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:07,310 IF SOMETHING IS UNPLEASANT OR UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HER, 818 00:42:07,310 --> 00:42:10,793 THEN SHE SEES THAT AS AN EXCUSE TO GIVE IN, 819 00:42:10,793 --> 00:42:13,103 AND EAT AND DO WHAT SHE WANTS. 820 00:42:13,103 --> 00:42:18,068 AND HER CONFUSION IS PART OF THE GAME SHE PLAYS. 821 00:42:18,068 --> 00:42:20,724 OKAY, HOLLY, HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO. 822 00:42:20,724 --> 00:42:22,827 THESE THREE-TO-FOUR-DAY TRIPS 823 00:42:22,827 --> 00:42:24,551 WHERE YOUR BODY IS HAVING 824 00:42:24,551 --> 00:42:27,068 A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF STRAIN ON IT 825 00:42:27,068 --> 00:42:29,724 CANNOT CONTINUE BECAUSE IT'S NOT SAFE. 826 00:42:29,724 --> 00:42:30,965 OKAY. 827 00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:33,206 YOUR BODY IS GOING TO HIT ITS LIMIT, 828 00:42:33,206 --> 00:42:36,379 AND IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING LIKE A HEART ATTACK ON THE ROAD, 829 00:42:36,379 --> 00:42:39,206 THEN IT WILL BE HIGHLY UNLIKELY ANYTHING 830 00:42:39,206 --> 00:42:41,206 CAN BE DONE TO SAVE YOU. 831 00:42:41,206 --> 00:42:43,655 SO IF YOU WANT TO KEEP DOING THIS, 832 00:42:43,655 --> 00:42:46,965 THEN YOU NEED TO BE IN HOUSTON TO AVOID THAT. 833 00:42:46,965 --> 00:42:49,068 YOU UNDERSTAND?OKAY. 834 00:42:49,068 --> 00:42:53,241 AND THEN YOU NEED TO LOSE 50 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT 2 MONTHS 835 00:42:53,241 --> 00:42:55,551 LIKE YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THE FIRST TIME, OKAY? 836 00:42:55,551 --> 00:42:56,896 I UNDERSTAND. 837 00:42:56,896 --> 00:42:58,689 BUT IT'S ALL YOUR CHOICE. 838 00:42:58,689 --> 00:43:01,344 IT MAY BE HARD, BUT YOU HAVE TO DECIDE 839 00:43:01,344 --> 00:43:03,758 IF THIS IS WORTH YOUR LIFE OR NOT. 840 00:43:03,758 --> 00:43:05,310 UNDERSTAND. 841 00:43:05,310 --> 00:43:08,172 ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU BOTH IN A COUPLE MONTHS. 842 00:43:08,172 --> 00:43:09,896 SEE YOU SOON. 843 00:43:13,310 --> 00:43:14,931 Dr. Now: HOLLY NEEDS TO SHOW ME 844 00:43:14,931 --> 00:43:18,103 THAT SHE'S AT LEAST WILLING TO STOP MAKING EXCUSES 845 00:43:18,103 --> 00:43:22,724 AND START MAKING THE HARD CHOICES TO TURN HER LIFE AROUND. 846 00:43:22,724 --> 00:43:27,413 BUT IF SHE'S NOT, THEN NOTHING WE DO WILL BE ABLE TO HELP HER, 847 00:43:27,413 --> 00:43:30,241 AND WE'LL JUST BE WASTING OUR TIME. 848 00:43:30,241 --> 00:43:33,896 SO RIGHT NOW IT ALL COMES DOWN TO HER CHOICE. 849 00:43:37,310 --> 00:43:41,517 Holly: I'M REALLY UPSET RIGHT NOW, MOSTLY IN MYSELF, 850 00:43:41,517 --> 00:43:43,689 BECAUSE THAT WAS HARD. 851 00:43:43,689 --> 00:43:46,862 BUT I KNOW DR. NOW IS JUST TRYING TO HELP ME 852 00:43:46,862 --> 00:43:48,655 WITH EVERYTHING HE SAID, 853 00:43:48,655 --> 00:43:50,000 AND I KNOW HE'S RIGHT. 854 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,689 MY LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT. 855 00:43:52,689 --> 00:43:54,896 IT'S JUST SO HARD TO GIVE UP THE ONLY THING 856 00:43:54,896 --> 00:43:58,206 THAT'S MADE ME HAPPY IN MY WHOLE LIFE. 857 00:43:58,206 --> 00:44:01,448 BUT WHATEVER IT TAKES, I HAVE TO DO IT, 858 00:44:01,448 --> 00:44:04,068 BECAUSE I KNOW EVERYTHING IS RIDING ON THIS. 859 00:44:04,068 --> 00:44:13,620 ♪♪ 860 00:44:13,620 --> 00:44:15,448 IT'S BEEN A REALLY HARD MONTH 861 00:44:15,448 --> 00:44:17,931 WHERE RAY AND I HAD TO MAKE SOME HARD DECISIONS 862 00:44:17,931 --> 00:44:19,620 ABOUT WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO. 863 00:44:19,620 --> 00:44:21,620 I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP, 864 00:44:21,620 --> 00:44:24,379 SO EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN 865 00:44:24,379 --> 00:44:26,482 OR HOW I'M GONNA MAKE IT TO THE GOAL I NEED, 866 00:44:26,482 --> 00:44:29,931 I WANT TO KEEP TRYING. 867 00:44:29,931 --> 00:44:31,586 AND RIGHT NOW, WE'RE PACKING TO STAY DOWN 868 00:44:31,586 --> 00:44:33,034 IN HOUSTON FOR A WHILE. 869 00:44:33,034 --> 00:44:36,448 AND WE'RE HOPING TO LEAVE TODAY. 870 00:44:36,448 --> 00:44:38,862 I MADE THE BIG DECISION TO LEAVE MY WHEELCHAIR HERE 871 00:44:38,862 --> 00:44:41,068 TO FORCE ME TO HAVE TO GET UP AND DO MORE 872 00:44:41,068 --> 00:44:43,000 AND WORK ON GETTING MY STAMINA UP, 873 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,448 AND THAT'S REALLY SCARY. 874 00:44:45,448 --> 00:44:49,172 SO I'M TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT AND GET OVERWHELMED. 875 00:44:49,172 --> 00:44:52,965 I'M FEELING EXCITED AND NERVOUS ALL AT THE SAME TIME. 876 00:44:52,965 --> 00:44:56,482 EXCITEMENT TO BE HEADING OUT ON A NEW ADVENTURE, 877 00:44:56,482 --> 00:44:58,655 BUT ALSO SOME SADNESS, 878 00:44:58,655 --> 00:45:01,482 AND I'M TAKING A BIT OF A GAMBLE DOING THIS, 879 00:45:01,482 --> 00:45:04,724 BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHETHER DR. NOWZARADAN 880 00:45:04,724 --> 00:45:07,793 FOR SURE IS GONNA DO THE SURGERY OR NOT, 881 00:45:07,793 --> 00:45:10,586 BUT ALL I KNOW IS I HAVE TO TRY. 882 00:45:12,655 --> 00:45:15,310 BUT THIS IS LITERALLY THE HARDEST AND SCARIEST THING 883 00:45:15,310 --> 00:45:18,586 I'VE EVER HAD TO DO IN MY LIFE. 884 00:45:18,586 --> 00:45:22,379 AND IT'S EXHAUSTING, PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY, 885 00:45:22,379 --> 00:45:25,103 BECAUSE MY MOM ISN'T GONNA BE WITH US 886 00:45:25,103 --> 00:45:26,862 BECAUSE SHE SAYS SHE NEEDS TO STAY HERE 887 00:45:26,862 --> 00:45:29,413 AND TAKE CARE OF MY DAD. 888 00:45:29,413 --> 00:45:32,862 BUT IT'S A LOT HARDER TO LEAVE HER THAN I THOUGHT... 889 00:45:32,862 --> 00:45:34,448 I LOVE YOU. 890 00:45:34,448 --> 00:45:36,827 ...BECAUSE I'M NOT SURE HOW LONG I'LL BE GONE 891 00:45:36,827 --> 00:45:38,965 OR WHEN I'M GONNA SEE HER AGAIN. 892 00:45:38,965 --> 00:45:43,068 IT'S GONNA BE FINE. IT'S GONNA BE FINE. 893 00:45:43,068 --> 00:45:44,068 IT'S GONNA BE FINE. 894 00:45:44,068 --> 00:45:45,310 YOU CAN DO THIS. 895 00:45:45,310 --> 00:45:48,000 OKAY. 896 00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,551 YOU'RE NOT GOING AWAY. 897 00:45:49,551 --> 00:45:52,206 YOU'RE JUST TAKING A LONG TRIP. 898 00:45:55,827 --> 00:45:57,275 YOU GOT TO GET HEALTHY. 899 00:45:57,275 --> 00:45:59,344 I KNOW.OKAY. 900 00:45:59,344 --> 00:46:06,689 AND YOU'VE GOT TO STAY AWAY FROM THE TEMPTATIONS. 901 00:46:06,689 --> 00:46:10,586 I HATE TO SEE HER LEAVE BECAUSE I'M GONNA REALLY MISS HER, 902 00:46:10,586 --> 00:46:13,206 BUT THIS IS HOLLY'S LAST CHANCE. 903 00:46:13,206 --> 00:46:16,896 IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN NOW, IT NEVER WILL. 904 00:46:16,896 --> 00:46:19,413 AND I KNOW IT'S NOT A PERMANENT GOODBYE. 905 00:46:19,413 --> 00:46:22,586 SHE'S GONNA GET BETTER, AND I'M EXCITED ABOUT THAT. 906 00:46:22,586 --> 00:46:24,137 I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. 907 00:46:24,137 --> 00:46:25,172 OKAY?YEAH. 908 00:46:25,172 --> 00:46:27,689 OKAY, GOOD. 909 00:46:27,689 --> 00:46:29,172 Holly: NO MATTER HOW HARD THIS IS, 910 00:46:29,172 --> 00:46:31,379 I'M COMMITTED TO DOING WHAT I NEED... 911 00:46:34,275 --> 00:46:37,344 BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S AN ALL-OR-NOTHING DEAL, 912 00:46:37,344 --> 00:46:40,862 AND IF I DON'T DO WHAT I NEED, THEN I'M GONNA LOSE EVERYTHING. 913 00:46:46,724 --> 00:46:54,275 ♪♪ 914 00:46:54,275 --> 00:46:57,655 Holly: ME AND RAY HAVE BEEN IN HOUSTON FOR ABOUT A WEEK. 915 00:46:57,655 --> 00:47:01,172 IT WAS A REALLY HARD TRIP COMING DOWN HERE AND GETTING MOVED IN, 916 00:47:01,172 --> 00:47:04,000 SO I'M REALLY GLAD TO HAVE ALL THAT BEHIND US NOW. 917 00:47:07,655 --> 00:47:09,379 YEAH. 918 00:47:12,241 --> 00:47:14,068 BUT SO FAR IT'S BEEN TOUGH. 919 00:47:16,241 --> 00:47:19,793 IT FEELS REALLY LONELY WITH JUST ME AND RAY DOWN HERE, 920 00:47:19,793 --> 00:47:21,620 AND I'M STRUGGLING WITH THAT, 921 00:47:21,620 --> 00:47:25,586 BECAUSE MY RELATIONSHIP WITH RAY IS NOT THE MOST AFFECTIONATE. 922 00:47:25,586 --> 00:47:28,965 SO I FEEL LIKE I'M DOWN HERE WITH A ROOMMATE OR A CARETAKER, 923 00:47:28,965 --> 00:47:31,827 AND I'M JUST ON THIS ISLAND ALONE. 924 00:47:31,827 --> 00:47:36,206 AND I GUESS I JUST IGNORED HOW DISTANT WE'VE BECOME. 925 00:47:36,206 --> 00:47:38,551 BUT MY MOM LET US BRING OUR FAMILY DOG, ZACH, 926 00:47:38,551 --> 00:47:41,137 AND HE'S KEEPING ME COMPANY SOME. 927 00:47:41,137 --> 00:47:43,103 BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME. 928 00:47:43,103 --> 00:47:45,655 HELLO. 929 00:47:45,655 --> 00:47:47,586 HI. HERE. 930 00:47:47,586 --> 00:47:50,655 BYE. 931 00:47:50,655 --> 00:47:55,172 Holly: SO, THIS IS A LOT HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE, 932 00:47:55,172 --> 00:47:57,000 BUT I'M TRYING TO DO WHAT I NEED. 933 00:47:58,793 --> 00:48:01,034 GOT MORE WHITE RICE. 934 00:48:01,034 --> 00:48:05,344 SINCE WE JUST MOVED IN, WE'RE NOT REALLY SET UP TO COOK, 935 00:48:05,344 --> 00:48:08,724 SO WE'RE ORDERING DELIVERY FROM PLACES AROUND HERE A LOT 936 00:48:08,724 --> 00:48:13,482 UNTIL WE CAN GET SOME POTS AND PANS AND STUFF TO COOK WITH. 937 00:48:13,482 --> 00:48:15,862 BUT RAY SAID HE'S GONNA LOOK FOR A JOB TOMORROW 938 00:48:15,862 --> 00:48:17,793 AND HE'LL GET ALL THAT WHILE HE'S OUT 939 00:48:17,793 --> 00:48:20,344 AND WE CAN START PREPPING HEALTHY MEALS. 940 00:48:20,344 --> 00:48:22,689 SO, NOW THAT WE'RE DOWN HERE... 941 00:48:25,379 --> 00:48:28,896 YOU READY FOR THE CHALLENGE AHEAD OF US? 942 00:48:28,896 --> 00:48:30,793 YES. 943 00:48:30,793 --> 00:48:33,517 AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, THIS IS OUR LAST MEAL OUT. 944 00:48:36,310 --> 00:48:38,000 GOOD. 945 00:48:40,068 --> 00:48:41,689 TONIGHT, WE HAD CHINESE FOR DINNER. 946 00:48:41,689 --> 00:48:44,448 I HAD CASHEW CHICKEN AND A COUPLE OF EGG ROLLS, 947 00:48:44,448 --> 00:48:46,137 WHICH ISN'T THE HEALTHIEST, 948 00:48:46,137 --> 00:48:47,793 BUT I HADN'T EATEN SINCE BREAKFAST, 949 00:48:47,793 --> 00:48:49,551 AND RAY HADN'T EATEN ALL DAY. 950 00:48:49,551 --> 00:48:52,172 AND I TRIED TO PICK SOMETHING THAT AT LEAST HAD VEGGIES IN IT 951 00:48:52,172 --> 00:48:56,482 SO THAT I WASN'T TOTALLY EATING WRONG. 952 00:48:56,482 --> 00:48:57,965 I CAN'T SIT ANYMORE. 953 00:48:57,965 --> 00:48:59,413 I THINK I'M GONNA GO LAY DOWN. 954 00:48:59,413 --> 00:49:01,344 WOULD YOU MIND CLEANING UP? 955 00:49:01,344 --> 00:49:02,275 I DON'T MIND. 956 00:49:02,275 --> 00:49:04,137 OKAY. I NEED A HAND UP. 957 00:49:04,137 --> 00:49:05,862 MY FOOT'S ASLEEP. 958 00:49:08,551 --> 00:49:09,482 SORRY. 959 00:49:09,482 --> 00:49:11,379 IT'S OKAY. 960 00:49:11,379 --> 00:49:14,344 OKAY, I THINK I CAN HOBBLE. 961 00:49:14,344 --> 00:49:15,689 I HAVE ONE MONTH TO LOSE THE WEIGHT 962 00:49:15,689 --> 00:49:19,206 I'M SUPPOSED TO AND MAKE IT TO MY GOAL, 963 00:49:19,206 --> 00:49:21,793 AND I PLAN TO GIVE IT MY ALL AND WORK AS HARD AS I CAN 964 00:49:21,793 --> 00:49:24,068 AND GET APPROVED FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 965 00:49:24,068 --> 00:49:26,448 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LOSE THIS CHANCE. 966 00:49:26,448 --> 00:49:32,724 ♪♪ 967 00:49:32,724 --> 00:49:38,965 ♪♪ 968 00:49:38,965 --> 00:49:40,344 ME AND RAY ARE HEADED BACK 969 00:49:40,344 --> 00:49:42,344 FOR MY SECOND FOLLOW-UP WITH DR. NOW, 970 00:49:42,344 --> 00:49:44,965 AND I THINK I DID WELL THIS TIME 971 00:49:44,965 --> 00:49:50,034 EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I DIDN'T MAKE THE BEST CHOICES EVERY TIME. 972 00:49:50,034 --> 00:49:52,724 BUT I'VE MOSTLY STUCK TO THE DIET, 973 00:49:52,724 --> 00:49:54,586 AND I JUST HOPE MY PROGRESS IS ENOUGH 974 00:49:54,586 --> 00:49:56,862 TO GET APPROVED FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 975 00:49:56,862 --> 00:50:02,724 ♪♪ 976 00:50:02,724 --> 00:50:04,068 HOLLY HAGER. 977 00:50:04,068 --> 00:50:05,413 HOW ARE YOU? 978 00:50:05,413 --> 00:50:07,103 I'M OKAY. 979 00:50:07,103 --> 00:50:11,103 ♪♪ 980 00:50:11,103 --> 00:50:14,827 AT MY LAST APPOINTMENT, I WAS DOWN TO 629 POUNDS, 981 00:50:14,827 --> 00:50:18,172 AND DR. NOW TOLD ME I NEEDED TO TRY AND LOSE 50 POUNDS AGAIN 982 00:50:18,172 --> 00:50:21,413 TO BE AT OR UNDER 579 POUNDS TODAY. 983 00:50:21,413 --> 00:50:31,068 ♪♪ 984 00:50:31,068 --> 00:50:33,103 I'M REALLY UPSET, AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND 985 00:50:33,103 --> 00:50:36,413 WHY MY PROGRESS ISN'T THAT GOOD. 986 00:50:36,413 --> 00:50:38,034 SO I'M SHOCKED AND CONFUSED 987 00:50:38,034 --> 00:50:40,758 AND NERVOUS TO HEAR WHAT DR. NOW IS GONNA SAY. 988 00:50:40,758 --> 00:50:43,000 AND I'M HOPING THIS ISN'T IT 989 00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,034 AND DR. NOW ISN'T GONNA TELL ME I'M DONE. 990 00:50:46,034 --> 00:50:53,068 ♪♪ 991 00:50:53,068 --> 00:50:54,896 HELLO.HI, DR. NOW. 992 00:50:54,896 --> 00:50:56,965 HOW YOU ALL DOING? 993 00:50:56,965 --> 00:50:59,379 I'M STRUGGLING A BIT, I GUESS. 994 00:50:59,379 --> 00:51:01,931 WELL, YES, YOU ARE. 995 00:51:01,931 --> 00:51:06,689 SO LAST TIME YOU ONLY LOST 29 POUNDS IN 2 MONTHS 996 00:51:06,689 --> 00:51:08,206 INSTEAD OF 50. 997 00:51:08,206 --> 00:51:11,655 AND I GAVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE, BUT NOW THIS TIME 998 00:51:11,655 --> 00:51:13,517 YOU HAD EVEN LESS PROGRESS 999 00:51:13,517 --> 00:51:16,931 WITH ONLY AN 18-POUND LOSS IN 2 MONTHS. 1000 00:51:16,931 --> 00:51:19,379 SO YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHY THAT IS? 1001 00:51:19,379 --> 00:51:20,724 I DON'T KNOW. 1002 00:51:20,724 --> 00:51:23,275 I THOUGHT I WAS DOING GOOD TILL I SAW THE SCALE. 1003 00:51:23,275 --> 00:51:27,482 HOLLY, STOP PLAYING GAMES AND LYING TO ME. 1004 00:51:27,482 --> 00:51:29,137 YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING 1005 00:51:29,137 --> 00:51:31,275 WHEN YOU'RE MAKING THE CHOICES YOU DO. 1006 00:51:31,275 --> 00:51:33,724 I'M NOT GONNA PLAY ALONG WITH THIS ACT. 1007 00:51:33,724 --> 00:51:35,862 YOU HAVE THIS DYNAMIC WHERE YOU ACT LIKE 1008 00:51:35,862 --> 00:51:37,896 A CHILD WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. 1009 00:51:37,896 --> 00:51:39,586 SO EVERYONE GIVES UP ON 1010 00:51:39,586 --> 00:51:42,724 TRYING TO GET YOU TO DO WHAT YOU SHOULD. 1011 00:51:42,724 --> 00:51:44,310 THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK ON ME. 1012 00:51:44,310 --> 00:51:46,413 YOU GOT THAT? 1013 00:51:46,413 --> 00:51:49,827 ALL RIGHT, SO TELL ME WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON. 1014 00:51:49,827 --> 00:51:52,931 I'VE HAD SOME TROUBLE WITH CRAVINGS STILL, 1015 00:51:52,931 --> 00:51:56,172 AND IT'S JUST A REPEATING RECORD IN MY HEAD 1016 00:51:56,172 --> 00:51:59,379 THAT PLAYS OVER AND OVER AND OVER UNTIL I GIVE IN. 1017 00:51:59,379 --> 00:52:03,000 NOTHING IS WORKING TO GET PAST THAT RECORD PLAYING IN MY HEAD. 1018 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,827 WHAT IS RECORD PLAYING SAYING? 1019 00:52:04,827 --> 00:52:06,172 "I WANT CHOCOLATE. I WANT CHOCOLATE. 1020 00:52:06,172 --> 00:52:08,275 I WANT CHOCOLATE. I WANT CHOCOLATE." 1021 00:52:08,275 --> 00:52:14,103 SO CHOCOLATE IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN LIVING, APPARENTLY. 1022 00:52:14,103 --> 00:52:17,689 ALL RIGHT, HOLLY, IF YOU AREN'T EVEN WILLING TO DO THIS 1023 00:52:17,689 --> 00:52:21,689 AND SHOW ME YOU'RE READY TO WORK HARD EVEN FOR THE SHORT TERM, 1024 00:52:21,689 --> 00:52:23,379 THEN THERE IS NO POINT IN US 1025 00:52:23,379 --> 00:52:28,965 DOING ANY WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY OR REVISION ON YOU. 1026 00:52:28,965 --> 00:52:31,448 HOLLY HAS CREATED A DYNAMIC WITH RAY 1027 00:52:31,448 --> 00:52:33,413 AND PROBABLY WHOLE FAMILY 1028 00:52:33,413 --> 00:52:35,689 TO WHERE SHE PRETENDS TO BE CONFUSED, 1029 00:52:35,689 --> 00:52:38,758 LIKE SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO DO IT. 1030 00:52:38,758 --> 00:52:41,724 BUT IT'S ALL A GAME TO GET HER ENABLERS 1031 00:52:41,724 --> 00:52:44,413 TO EXCUSE HER BEHAVIOR AND CHOICES 1032 00:52:44,413 --> 00:52:46,413 WHEN SHE DOES WHAT SHE WANTS. 1033 00:52:46,413 --> 00:52:50,103 HER COMFORT AND WHAT SHE WANTS IS MORE IMPORTANT TO HER 1034 00:52:50,103 --> 00:52:51,896 THAN TURNING HER LIFE AROUND 1035 00:52:51,896 --> 00:52:55,379 AND PREVENTING HERSELF FROM DYING EARLY. 1036 00:52:55,379 --> 00:52:58,000 SHE'S ALREADY HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY ONCE, 1037 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:01,379 AND IT FAILED BECAUSE OF THAT VERY REASON. 1038 00:53:01,379 --> 00:53:04,793 ALL RIGHT, SO, HERE'S WHAT WE NEED TO DO. 1039 00:53:04,793 --> 00:53:07,310 WE'RE GONNA TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT WITH YOU, 1040 00:53:07,310 --> 00:53:09,655 AND WE'RE GONNA FLIP THE PROCESS, OKAY? 1041 00:53:09,655 --> 00:53:11,275 OKAY. 1042 00:53:11,275 --> 00:53:14,551 MOST OF THE TIME, A PATIENT ISN'T WILLING TO EVEN CONSIDER 1043 00:53:14,551 --> 00:53:19,172 THAT A SIGNIFICANT FACTOR DRIVING THEM TO EAT IS EMOTIONAL 1044 00:53:19,172 --> 00:53:22,344 UNTIL AFTER WE REMOVE THE PHYSICAL DRIVE TO EAT 1045 00:53:22,344 --> 00:53:23,724 WITH SURGERY. 1046 00:53:23,724 --> 00:53:26,379 BUT WITH YOU, YOU ALREADY HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 1047 00:53:26,379 --> 00:53:27,448 AND IT FAILED. 1048 00:53:27,448 --> 00:53:28,793 SO I'M GONNA GO AHEAD, 1049 00:53:28,793 --> 00:53:31,689 START YOU GOING TO PSYCHOTHERAPY BECAUSE OF THAT. 1050 00:53:31,689 --> 00:53:33,275 AND YOU'RE GONNA START TO WORK 1051 00:53:33,275 --> 00:53:36,931 ON WHAT WE CALL CORE ISSUES THAT DRIVE YOU TO EAT. 1052 00:53:36,931 --> 00:53:39,206 AND, HOPEFULLY, THAT WILL START TO HELP YOU 1053 00:53:39,206 --> 00:53:42,517 TO MAKE THE CHOICE TO IGNORE YOUR CRAVING FOR CHOCOLATE, 1054 00:53:42,517 --> 00:53:44,862 BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT A DEATH BY CHOCOLATE 1055 00:53:44,862 --> 00:53:47,931 TO BECOME REALITY FOR YOU. 1056 00:53:47,931 --> 00:53:50,724 ALL RIGHT, THIS IS STILL ALL UP TO YOU, 1057 00:53:50,724 --> 00:53:52,448 BUT THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE. 1058 00:53:52,448 --> 00:53:53,896 YOU GOT IT?YEP. 1059 00:53:53,896 --> 00:53:57,137 SO I WANT YOU TO HIT YOUR GOAL OF LOSING 50 POUNDS 1060 00:53:57,137 --> 00:53:58,551 IN 2 MONTHS THIS TIME. 1061 00:53:58,551 --> 00:54:00,310 GOT IT?SOUNDS GOOD. 1062 00:54:00,310 --> 00:54:03,413 ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU IN TWO MONTHS. 1063 00:54:03,413 --> 00:54:06,068 IF YOU NEED ANYTHING BEFORE THEN, LET ME KNOW. 1064 00:54:06,068 --> 00:54:07,793 THANK YOU. 1065 00:54:10,517 --> 00:54:13,448 IF HOLLY DOESN'T START TO PUT IN SOME EFFORT, 1066 00:54:13,448 --> 00:54:16,620 THEN NOTHING WE DO WILL HELP HER OR PREVENT HER 1067 00:54:16,620 --> 00:54:19,896 FROM GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE HER BODY JUST GIVES UP. 1068 00:54:19,896 --> 00:54:22,551 SO THIS IS HER LAST CHANCE. 1069 00:54:24,655 --> 00:54:27,896 Holly: I'M VERY THANKFUL DR. NOW IS GIVING ME ANOTHER CHANCE, 1070 00:54:27,896 --> 00:54:31,689 BUT I'M TERRIFIED THAT I'M STILL NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DO THIS 1071 00:54:31,689 --> 00:54:34,689 AND LOSE THE WEIGHT I NEED THIS TIME. 1072 00:54:34,689 --> 00:54:38,655 BECAUSE WHEN THE CRAVINGS COME, I JUST CAN'T RESIST THEM. 1073 00:54:38,655 --> 00:54:41,827 AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CHANGE OR STOP THAT. 1074 00:54:41,827 --> 00:54:43,586 BUT I KNOW IF I CAN'T, 1075 00:54:43,586 --> 00:54:46,827 ALL I'LL HAVE LEFT IS TO GO BACK HOME AND WAIT TO DIE. 1076 00:54:52,551 --> 00:54:57,758 ♪♪ 1077 00:54:57,758 --> 00:55:03,068 ♪♪ 1078 00:55:03,068 --> 00:55:06,758 Holly: RIGHT NOW, RAY IS TAKING ME TO MY FIRST APPOINTMENT 1079 00:55:06,758 --> 00:55:09,689 WITH THE THERAPIST DR. NOW IS SENDING ME TO, 1080 00:55:09,689 --> 00:55:12,137 AND I'M NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT 1081 00:55:12,137 --> 00:55:13,931 BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH 1082 00:55:13,931 --> 00:55:17,103 THIS WILL ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO HELP, 1083 00:55:17,103 --> 00:55:21,344 AND I'M SCARED ABOUT WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IF IT DOESN'T. 1084 00:55:21,344 --> 00:55:24,034 AND I'M REALLY WORRIED THAT FOOD HAS BECOME 1085 00:55:24,034 --> 00:55:26,172 SUCH AN IMPORTANT NEED OF MINE 1086 00:55:26,172 --> 00:55:30,827 THAT IT'S THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH LIFE, 1087 00:55:30,827 --> 00:55:32,896 AND THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS. 1088 00:55:35,137 --> 00:55:38,068 BUT I'M DOING THIS, AND I'M TRYING, 1089 00:55:38,068 --> 00:55:42,103 BECAUSE MY LIFE IS HANGING IN THE BALANCE. 1090 00:55:42,103 --> 00:55:44,551 AND IF I DON'T FIGURE THIS OUT, 1091 00:55:44,551 --> 00:55:49,103 I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE REALLY BAD FOR ME. 1092 00:55:49,103 --> 00:55:50,862 YOU WANT TO GO WAIT IN THE CAR? 1093 00:55:50,862 --> 00:55:52,379 YEAH. LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU'RE DONE. 1094 00:55:52,379 --> 00:55:54,137 OKAY. 1095 00:55:54,137 --> 00:55:55,827 LOVE YOU.LOVE YOU, TOO. 1096 00:55:55,827 --> 00:55:57,551 HAVE A GOOD TIME.YEP. 1097 00:56:02,655 --> 00:56:04,482 GOOD MORNING, HOLLY.GOOD MORNING. 1098 00:56:04,482 --> 00:56:06,448 NICE TO MEET YOU.PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. 1099 00:56:06,448 --> 00:56:07,827 I'M LOLA. 1100 00:56:07,827 --> 00:56:09,413 WHY DON'T YOU FOLLOW ME? 1101 00:56:09,413 --> 00:56:11,551 WE'RE GONNA GO IN AND GET YOU SITUATED. 1102 00:56:13,862 --> 00:56:15,275 PLEASE COME IN AND HAVE A SEAT 1103 00:56:15,275 --> 00:56:17,137 ANYWHERE WHERE YOU'RE MOST COMFORTABLE. 1104 00:56:17,137 --> 00:56:18,862 OKAY. 1105 00:56:22,103 --> 00:56:26,896 SO, HOLLY, TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR LIFE GROWING UP. 1106 00:56:26,896 --> 00:56:29,275 LIFE GROWING UP WAS STRESSFUL. 1107 00:56:29,275 --> 00:56:32,137 I WAS BULLIED FROM KINDERGARTEN ON, 1108 00:56:32,137 --> 00:56:35,068 VERY SEVERELY AT SCHOOL. 1109 00:56:35,068 --> 00:56:37,517 HOME WAS A LITTLE ROUGH, TOO. 1110 00:56:37,517 --> 00:56:40,137 AND THEN HAVING IT ROUGH AT SCHOOL, 1111 00:56:40,137 --> 00:56:45,241 I KIND OF FELT STUCK AND NOT REALLY HAVING ANYWHERE TO GO. 1112 00:56:45,241 --> 00:56:48,310 SO THERE WAS REALLY NO SAFE HAVEN FOR YOU. 1113 00:56:48,310 --> 00:56:49,689 NOT REALLY, NO. 1114 00:56:49,689 --> 00:56:50,724 OKAY. 1115 00:56:50,724 --> 00:56:53,413 AND YOU HAVE A FIANCé. 1116 00:56:53,413 --> 00:56:55,724 MM-HMM.HOW'S THAT GOING? 1117 00:56:55,724 --> 00:56:58,103 THERE IS SOME AFFECTION, I GUESS. 1118 00:56:58,103 --> 00:57:01,482 I SHOULDN'T SAY TOTALLY NONEXISTENT. 1119 00:57:01,482 --> 00:57:06,448 BUT I USUALLY HAVE TO ASK FOR IT. 1120 00:57:06,448 --> 00:57:08,931 HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? 1121 00:57:08,931 --> 00:57:10,482 SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE 1122 00:57:10,482 --> 00:57:14,103 WE'RE MORE JUST FRIENDS THAN... 1123 00:57:14,103 --> 00:57:16,172 FIANCéS. 1124 00:57:16,172 --> 00:57:17,689 I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S JUST A PHASE 1125 00:57:17,689 --> 00:57:19,310 WE'RE GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW 1126 00:57:19,310 --> 00:57:24,172 OR IF IT'S THE WAY IT'S GONNA BE FROM NOW ON OR WHAT. 1127 00:57:24,172 --> 00:57:27,137 AND SO, HOLLY, IT'S GONNA BE REALLY IMPORTANT FOR YOU 1128 00:57:27,137 --> 00:57:32,000 TO LEARN HOW TO SPEAK UP AND STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. 1129 00:57:32,827 --> 00:57:34,586 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO ASSERT YOURSELF 1130 00:57:34,586 --> 00:57:37,068 WITH THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO YOU. 1131 00:57:37,068 --> 00:57:39,172 IF YOU HAVE THE EXPECTATION OF PEOPLE 1132 00:57:39,172 --> 00:57:42,896 TREATING YOU THE WAY YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED, 1133 00:57:42,896 --> 00:57:46,965 YOU HAVE TO WORK ON PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY. 1134 00:57:46,965 --> 00:57:49,275 SO WHAT DOES YOUR SELF-TALK LOOK LIKE? 1135 00:57:49,275 --> 00:57:52,034 BECAUSE THAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT. 1136 00:57:52,034 --> 00:57:53,482 IS IT NEGATIVE? 1137 00:57:53,482 --> 00:57:55,413 I'M GOOD AT THE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK. 1138 00:57:55,413 --> 00:57:58,000 YOU'VE MASTERED THE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK? 1139 00:57:58,000 --> 00:57:59,172 I HAVE. 1140 00:57:59,172 --> 00:58:00,551 OKAY, I'M NOT HAPPY TO HEAR THAT. 1141 00:58:00,551 --> 00:58:02,758 NO, I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE MASTERED IT. 1142 00:58:02,758 --> 00:58:06,586 I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE MASTERED IT, BUT I'M GOOD AT IT. 1143 00:58:06,586 --> 00:58:08,206 IT'S EASY TO GO TO. 1144 00:58:08,206 --> 00:58:11,137 IT JUST POPS UP NATURALLY FOR ME. 1145 00:58:11,137 --> 00:58:15,206 IT'S HABITUAL, BECAUSE IT'S WHAT YOU'RE USED TO DOING. 1146 00:58:15,206 --> 00:58:17,965 AND SO NOW YOU'RE AT A POINT IN TIME 1147 00:58:17,965 --> 00:58:21,137 WHERE YOU HAVE TO REPROGRAM YOURSELF 1148 00:58:21,137 --> 00:58:23,689 TO WHERE EVERYTHING IS IN ALIGNMENT 1149 00:58:23,689 --> 00:58:27,896 AND YOU'RE ABLE TO PUSH THOSE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ASIDE 1150 00:58:27,896 --> 00:58:33,310 FOR YOURSELF AND SPEAK LOVINGLY AND TENDERLY TOWARDS YOURSELF, 1151 00:58:33,310 --> 00:58:37,931 BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO OVERCOME STRESS EATING. 1152 00:58:37,931 --> 00:58:42,551 AND YOU SHOULD START BY TELLING YOURSELF, 1153 00:58:42,551 --> 00:58:45,448 "I AM IMPORTANT. I CAN DO IT." 1154 00:58:45,448 --> 00:58:48,206 YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER THIS PROCESS. 1155 00:58:48,206 --> 00:58:51,137 USE THOSE LESSONS FROM THE PAST 1156 00:58:51,137 --> 00:58:54,137 TO HELP PAVE A BETTER FUTURE FOR YOURSELF. 1157 00:58:54,137 --> 00:58:58,689 DRAW STRENGTH FROM OVERCOMING SO MANY THINGS. 1158 00:58:58,689 --> 00:59:01,896 AND ALL OF YOUR LIFE RELATIONSHIPS WILL IMPROVE 1159 00:59:01,896 --> 00:59:05,241 BECAUSE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SELF WILL HAVE IMPROVED. 1160 00:59:05,241 --> 00:59:09,172 MM-HMM. 1161 00:59:09,172 --> 00:59:12,965 TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW. 1162 00:59:12,965 --> 00:59:14,896 I'M EXCITED. 1163 00:59:14,896 --> 00:59:16,206 YOU'RE EXCITED? 1164 00:59:16,206 --> 00:59:19,000 YEAH, I'M EXCITED TO DO -- 1165 00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,379 PUT IN PLACE SOME OF THE SUGGESTIONS 1166 00:59:21,379 --> 00:59:24,551 YOU'VE MADE AND DO THIS. 1167 00:59:24,551 --> 00:59:26,448 OKAY. 1168 00:59:26,448 --> 00:59:28,000 IT WAS A PLEASURE MEETING YOU. 1169 00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,137 THANK YOU.THANK YOU. 1170 00:59:30,137 --> 00:59:34,379 ♪♪ 1171 00:59:34,379 --> 00:59:36,551 Holly: I'M NOT SURE HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW. 1172 00:59:38,689 --> 00:59:39,931 IT'S A LOT TO PROCESS. 1173 00:59:39,931 --> 00:59:43,448 I'M STILL JUST TAKING IT ALL IN. 1174 00:59:43,448 --> 00:59:45,275 BUT I DO FEEL LIKE LOLA HELPED ME 1175 00:59:45,275 --> 00:59:48,000 TO START TO SEE SOME THINGS AND HELPED ME WITH WAYS 1176 00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:52,517 I CAN START TO WORK TO TRY AND DEAL WITH MY CRAVINGS. 1177 00:59:52,517 --> 00:59:54,103 I'M NOT SURE HOW WELL THEY'LL WORK, 1178 00:59:54,103 --> 00:59:57,896 BUT AT LEAST I HAVE SOMETHING I CAN TRY. 1179 00:59:57,896 --> 01:00:00,310 BUT THE BIGGEST THING THAT I'M TAKING AWAY FROM THIS 1180 01:00:00,310 --> 01:00:01,724 WAS LOLA TELLING ME 1181 01:00:01,724 --> 01:00:03,517 THAT I NEED TO STAND UP FOR MYSELF 1182 01:00:03,517 --> 01:00:06,000 AND THE THINGS THAT I NEED. 1183 01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:09,172 SO I KNOW I HAVE A LOT TO THINK ABOUT. 1184 01:00:09,172 --> 01:00:11,862 BUT I KNOW LOLA'S AT LEAST RIGHT ABOUT THERE BEING ROOM 1185 01:00:11,862 --> 01:00:14,206 FOR IMPROVEMENT WITH MY CHOICES 1186 01:00:14,206 --> 01:00:17,689 AND THAT I HAVE NO EXCUSE, SO I KNOW I CAN WORK HARDER. 1187 01:00:17,689 --> 01:00:19,827 AND FROM NOW ON, I INTEND TO. 1188 01:00:19,827 --> 01:00:25,413 ♪♪ 1189 01:00:25,413 --> 01:00:31,034 ♪♪ 1190 01:00:31,034 --> 01:00:32,896 SINCE MY APPOINTMENT WITH LOLA, 1191 01:00:32,896 --> 01:00:36,206 I'VE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT THE THINGS SHE SAID, 1192 01:00:36,206 --> 01:00:39,448 ESPECIALLY WHAT SHE TOLD ME ABOUT STANDING UP FOR MYSELF 1193 01:00:39,448 --> 01:00:41,827 AND THE THINGS THAT I NEED. 1194 01:00:41,827 --> 01:00:43,896 AND WHAT I REALLY NEED MOST RIGHT NOW 1195 01:00:43,896 --> 01:00:45,931 IS TO KNOW RAY CARES ABOUT ME 1196 01:00:45,931 --> 01:00:49,827 AND THAT HE STILL WANTS MORE FROM ME THAN JUST A ROOMMATE, 1197 01:00:49,827 --> 01:00:52,827 BECAUSE I'M SO LONELY RIGHT NOW. 1198 01:00:52,827 --> 01:00:55,965 AND I FEEL LIKE HE SOMETIMES GETS SO CARRIED AWAY 1199 01:00:55,965 --> 01:00:57,586 IN THE CAREGIVER ROLE 1200 01:00:57,586 --> 01:01:03,000 THAT HE NEGLECTS TO COME OVER AND GIVE ME A HUG OR A KISS 1201 01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:05,724 OR JUST LET ME KNOW THAT HE'S THINKING ABOUT ME. 1202 01:01:05,724 --> 01:01:08,241 SO IT'S FRUSTRATING. 1203 01:01:08,241 --> 01:01:12,517 IT FEELS LIKE HE LIKES THE DOG BETTER THAN ME SOMETIMES. 1204 01:01:12,517 --> 01:01:17,379 BUT IT'S HARD TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT THOSE THINGS, TOO. 1205 01:01:17,379 --> 01:01:21,275 AND THAT'S ALL MAKING IT SO MUCH HARDER FOR ME TO TRY AND DO THIS 1206 01:01:21,275 --> 01:01:25,827 AND DEAL WITH MY CRAVINGS WHEN I FEEL SO ALONE. 1207 01:01:25,827 --> 01:01:29,931 SO I WANT TO KNOW IF HE EVEN WANTS MORE FROM ME ANYMORE 1208 01:01:29,931 --> 01:01:33,034 AND IF HE EVEN SEES A FUTURE WITH ME LIKE WE PLANNED, 1209 01:01:33,034 --> 01:01:36,068 AND IF HE STILL WANTS TO GET MARRIED. 1210 01:01:36,068 --> 01:01:39,137 SO I'VE BEEN WORKING UP THE COURAGE TO TALK TO HIM, 1211 01:01:39,137 --> 01:01:42,137 BECAUSE I KNOW THIS IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO 1212 01:01:42,137 --> 01:01:44,965 EVEN THOUGH IT'S REALLY SCARY FOR ME. 1213 01:01:47,206 --> 01:01:50,862 SO I TALKED WITH THE COUNSELOR, LOLA, 1214 01:01:50,862 --> 01:01:55,586 AND WE TALKED ABOUT HOW MY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU WAS. 1215 01:01:55,586 --> 01:01:57,620 AND I TOLD HER THAT SOMETIMES WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER, 1216 01:01:57,620 --> 01:02:00,275 I STILL FEEL LONELY. 1217 01:02:00,275 --> 01:02:03,275 CAN YOU KIND OF EXPLAIN THAT? 1218 01:02:03,275 --> 01:02:06,448 IT SEEMS LIKE WHENEVER I WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU, 1219 01:02:06,448 --> 01:02:10,344 YOU'RE OFF DOING STUFF AND NOT INTERESTED. 1220 01:02:10,344 --> 01:02:12,724 AND IT'S KIND OF NOT JUST FEELING LONELY 1221 01:02:12,724 --> 01:02:15,827 BUT FEELING NOT WANTED, TOO. 1222 01:02:15,827 --> 01:02:19,517 I'M SORRY I MAKE YOU FEEL LONELY AND UNWANTED. 1223 01:02:19,517 --> 01:02:22,000 I DON'T INTEND TO. 1224 01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:24,103 I THINK, LATELY, PART OF IT IS JUST, 1225 01:02:24,103 --> 01:02:26,068 YOU KNOW, OUR FINANCIAL SITUATION 1226 01:02:26,068 --> 01:02:27,896 HAS REALLY BEEN STRESSFUL 1227 01:02:27,896 --> 01:02:31,068 AND, YOU KNOW, FRUSTRATED THAT I'M NOT WORKING YET, 1228 01:02:31,068 --> 01:02:33,137 AND THERE'S TIMES WHERE YOU'RE BUSY 1229 01:02:33,137 --> 01:02:36,034 AND I DON'T WANT TO INTERRUPT YOU, TOO. 1230 01:02:36,034 --> 01:02:38,000 INTERRUPT ME. 1231 01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:41,551 THAT KIND OF INTERRUPTION WOULD BE A WELCOME INTERRUPTION. 1232 01:02:41,551 --> 01:02:45,551 I GUESS THAT'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO WORK ON. 1233 01:02:45,551 --> 01:02:47,551 OKAY. 1234 01:02:47,551 --> 01:02:51,413 SO, DO YOU THINK THAT, AFTER I LOSE WEIGHT, 1235 01:02:51,413 --> 01:02:55,689 YOU WOULD BE CLOSER TO GETTING READY FOR A WEDDING? 1236 01:02:55,689 --> 01:02:58,655 ABSOLUTELY. 1237 01:02:58,655 --> 01:03:00,068 YOU KNOW, I LOVE YOU, 1238 01:03:00,068 --> 01:03:04,413 AND I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU. 1239 01:03:04,413 --> 01:03:07,344 GOOD, 'CAUSE I FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU. 1240 01:03:07,344 --> 01:03:09,862 CAN I HAVE A HUG?MM-HMM. 1241 01:03:11,655 --> 01:03:14,379 I FEEL REALLY GOOD RIGHT NOW, 1242 01:03:14,379 --> 01:03:18,172 AND I FEEL LIKE RAY LISTENED AND HE HEARD ME. 1243 01:03:18,172 --> 01:03:19,689 AND SEEING HOW RAY REACTED 1244 01:03:19,689 --> 01:03:21,827 AND HEARING THAT HE DOES CARE FOR ME 1245 01:03:21,827 --> 01:03:23,517 AND WANTS TO BE THERE FOR ME 1246 01:03:23,517 --> 01:03:26,172 FELT REALLY GOOD. 1247 01:03:26,172 --> 01:03:29,137 SO I'M REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF FOR WORKING UP THE COURAGE 1248 01:03:29,137 --> 01:03:32,413 TO DO THIS AND NOT CHICKENING OUT, 1249 01:03:32,413 --> 01:03:35,586 BECAUSE IF I CAN START TO CONFRONT THINGS AND DEAL 1250 01:03:35,586 --> 01:03:38,482 WITH THEM NO MATTER HOW HARD OR SCARY IT IS, 1251 01:03:38,482 --> 01:03:41,586 MAYBE THERE'S STILL HOPE FOR ME. 1252 01:03:41,586 --> 01:03:44,241 BUT I KNOW I HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO. 1253 01:03:44,241 --> 01:03:53,586 ♪♪ 1254 01:03:53,586 --> 01:03:56,517 ME AND RAY ARE HEADED BACK TO SEE DR. NOW AGAIN, 1255 01:03:56,517 --> 01:03:58,655 AND I'M MORE NERVOUS THAN I THINK 1256 01:03:58,655 --> 01:04:00,862 I'VE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE 1257 01:04:00,862 --> 01:04:04,482 BECAUSE DR. NOW TOLD ME THIS WAS MY LAST CHANCE. 1258 01:04:04,482 --> 01:04:08,724 SO I KNOW THIS IS PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT WEIGH-IN SO FAR. 1259 01:04:08,724 --> 01:04:11,310 ♪♪ 1260 01:04:11,310 --> 01:04:13,862 IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS SINCE MY LAST APPOINTMENT, 1261 01:04:13,862 --> 01:04:15,862 AND I FEEL LIKE I WASTED THE FIRST MONTH 1262 01:04:15,862 --> 01:04:19,655 BECAUSE I WAS SO AFRAID TO GO TO THERAPY. 1263 01:04:19,655 --> 01:04:21,241 BUT THIS LAST MONTH, 1264 01:04:21,241 --> 01:04:24,931 I'VE BEEN REALLY MOTIVATED TO WORK AS HARD AS I CAN. 1265 01:04:24,931 --> 01:04:27,344 HOLLY HAGER. 1266 01:04:27,344 --> 01:04:31,931 STARTING TO DEAL WITH SOME OF MY EMOTIONS REALLY ENCOURAGED ME, 1267 01:04:31,931 --> 01:04:34,206 AND I'VE TRIED REALLY HARD TO JUST STICK TO THE DIET 1268 01:04:34,206 --> 01:04:36,793 AND EXERCISE LIKE I NEED. 1269 01:04:36,793 --> 01:04:40,344 SO I FEEL LIKE I'VE MADE GOOD PROGRESS DURING THAT TIME, 1270 01:04:40,344 --> 01:04:43,689 BUT I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S GONNA BE ENOUGH TO GET TO MY GOAL. 1271 01:04:43,689 --> 01:04:45,620 AND WITH EVERYTHING RIDING ON THIS, 1272 01:04:45,620 --> 01:04:48,034 I MAY BE ABOUT TO LOSE EVERYTHING. 1273 01:04:55,137 --> 01:05:05,000 ♪♪ 1274 01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:08,172 Holly: I'M BACK TO SEE DR. NOW FOR ANOTHER APPOINTMENT 1275 01:05:08,172 --> 01:05:11,241 AND TO FIND OUT IF I GOT TO MY GOAL. 1276 01:05:11,241 --> 01:05:13,379 AT MY LAST APPOINTMENT TWO MONTHS AGO, 1277 01:05:13,379 --> 01:05:16,379 I WAS DOWN TO 611 POUNDS, 1278 01:05:16,379 --> 01:05:19,620 AND DR. NOW TOLD ME I HAD TO FINALLY LOSE 50 POUNDS 1279 01:05:19,620 --> 01:05:21,413 BY THIS APPOINTMENT. 1280 01:05:21,413 --> 01:05:26,241 SO THAT MEANS I HAVE TO BE BELOW 561 POUNDS TODAY, 1281 01:05:26,241 --> 01:05:28,413 AND I'M PRAYING THAT I DID THAT. 1282 01:05:28,413 --> 01:05:38,379 ♪♪ 1283 01:05:38,379 --> 01:05:41,482 I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW, 1284 01:05:41,482 --> 01:05:44,827 BECAUSE IT'S MORE WEIGHT LOSS THAN I DID THE FIRST TWO TIMES, 1285 01:05:44,827 --> 01:05:46,689 SO I'M HAPPY ABOUT THAT, 1286 01:05:46,689 --> 01:05:50,137 BUT ANOTHER PART OF ME IS STILL SCARED AND NERVOUS 1287 01:05:50,137 --> 01:05:52,758 BECAUSE IT'S STILL A LITTLE SHY OF THE 50-POUND GOAL 1288 01:05:52,758 --> 01:05:55,241 I WAS SUPPOSED TO HIT. 1289 01:05:55,241 --> 01:05:59,206 SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT DR. NOW IS THINK OR SAY TO ME. 1290 01:06:03,172 --> 01:06:04,517 HELLO.HELLO. 1291 01:06:04,517 --> 01:06:05,896 HOW YOU ALL DOING? 1292 01:06:05,896 --> 01:06:07,448 OKAY. 1293 01:06:07,448 --> 01:06:11,517 ALL RIGHT, SO, HOLLY, YOU'RE DOWN TO 564 TODAY. 1294 01:06:11,517 --> 01:06:13,103 I AM. 1295 01:06:13,103 --> 01:06:16,724 THAT'S A WEIGHT LOSS OF 47 POUNDS OVER THE LAST 2 MONTHS 1296 01:06:16,724 --> 01:06:19,206 BUT PROBABLY MOSTLY IN THE LAST MONTH 1297 01:06:19,206 --> 01:06:22,931 SINE YOU AVOIDED THERAPY AND PLAYED GAMES FOR A WHILE 1298 01:06:22,931 --> 01:06:25,137 AFTER YOUR LAST APPOINTMENT. 1299 01:06:25,137 --> 01:06:26,862 BUT NOW YOU'RE MAKING ADJUSTMENTS 1300 01:06:26,862 --> 01:06:28,103 IN YOUR EATING HABIT? 1301 01:06:28,103 --> 01:06:30,620 I AM.HOW'S YOUR ACTIVITY? 1302 01:06:30,620 --> 01:06:32,586 GETTING BETTER.OKAY. 1303 01:06:32,586 --> 01:06:36,862 YEP, I WALKED OVER 1,300 STEPS ON THURSDAY, SO... 1304 01:06:36,862 --> 01:06:40,482 OKAY, WELL, EVEN THOUGH ARE A FEW POUNDS SHORT OF YOUR GOAL, 1305 01:06:40,482 --> 01:06:43,724 YOU MADE SOME GOOD IMPROVEMENT AND YOU'RE CLOSE, 1306 01:06:43,724 --> 01:06:47,137 WHICH SHOWS ME YOU'RE TAKING SOME RESPONSIBILITY 1307 01:06:47,137 --> 01:06:51,137 FOR YOUR CHOICES AND STARTING TO DEAL WITH WHAT YOU NEED. 1308 01:06:51,137 --> 01:06:53,275 SO I THINK YOU'RE READY, AND WE'LL GO AHEAD 1309 01:06:53,275 --> 01:06:55,620 AND APPROVE YOU FOR SURGERY. 1310 01:06:55,620 --> 01:06:57,103 HOLY COW. OKAY. 1311 01:06:57,103 --> 01:06:59,689 BUT I'M GONNA SET IT FOR A MONTH FROM NOW, 1312 01:06:59,689 --> 01:07:03,137 BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE YOU KEEP AT IT FOR A LITTLE LONGER. 1313 01:07:03,137 --> 01:07:05,862 AND WHEN YOU SHOW UP FOR YOUR OPERATION, 1314 01:07:05,862 --> 01:07:10,034 I EXPECT YOU TO BE 25 POUNDS LOWER TO STAY ON TRACK. 1315 01:07:10,034 --> 01:07:11,241 OKAY.OKAY? 1316 01:07:11,241 --> 01:07:12,724 ALL RIGHT.AND IF NOT, 1317 01:07:12,724 --> 01:07:14,689 THEN I'LL CANCEL SURGERY. 1318 01:07:14,689 --> 01:07:15,827 YOU GOT THAT? 1319 01:07:15,827 --> 01:07:17,206 GOT IT. OKAY. 1320 01:07:17,206 --> 01:07:19,310 OKAY, BUT THE OTHER ISSUE IS, 1321 01:07:19,310 --> 01:07:21,379 BECAUSE YOU ALREADY HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY 1322 01:07:21,379 --> 01:07:24,551 OVER A DECADE AGO, THERE MAY BE SCAR TISSUE 1323 01:07:24,551 --> 01:07:28,034 THAT WILL PREVENT US FROM PURSUING CERTAIN OPTIONS. 1324 01:07:28,034 --> 01:07:29,379 OKAY. 1325 01:07:29,379 --> 01:07:32,103 SO WE WILL DO AN ENDOSCOPY BEFORE YOUR OPERATION 1326 01:07:32,103 --> 01:07:35,620 SO I CAN SEE WHAT'S POSSIBLE, AND THEN WE'LL GO FROM THERE. 1327 01:07:35,620 --> 01:07:36,724 OKAY. 1328 01:07:36,724 --> 01:07:39,206 KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND PROGRESS, 1329 01:07:39,206 --> 01:07:41,000 AND I'LL SEE YOU BOTH SOON. 1330 01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:42,724 GREAT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 1331 01:07:42,724 --> 01:07:44,034 YOU'RE WELCOME. 1332 01:07:44,034 --> 01:07:49,068 THANK YOU.BYE. 1333 01:07:49,068 --> 01:07:51,896 I WAS VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HOLLY AFTER SHE SHOWED 1334 01:07:51,896 --> 01:07:56,068 VERY LITTLE PROGRESS AT HER LAST TWO FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENTS, 1335 01:07:56,068 --> 01:07:59,137 AND THEN SHE WAS AVOIDING THERAPY THIS LAST TIME. 1336 01:07:59,137 --> 01:08:02,862 SO HER OUTCOME WAS STARTING TO LOOK VERY BLEAK. 1337 01:08:02,862 --> 01:08:06,896 BUT I'M VERY HAPPY TO SEE THAT SHE'S TAKEN A POSITIVE TURN, 1338 01:08:06,896 --> 01:08:09,965 BECAUSE SHE'S STARTING TO DEAL WITH HER EMOTIONAL ISSUES. 1339 01:08:09,965 --> 01:08:12,931 SO I FEEL CONFIDENT RIGHT NOW THAT SHE'S READY 1340 01:08:12,931 --> 01:08:15,310 FOR THE NEXT STEP OF WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 1341 01:08:15,310 --> 01:08:17,689 BUT THE FACT THAT SHE HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY 1342 01:08:17,689 --> 01:08:20,482 MANY YEARS AGO AND BLEW HER STAPLES OUT 1343 01:08:20,482 --> 01:08:22,482 MAY HAVE LED TO A NUMBER OF THINGS 1344 01:08:22,482 --> 01:08:27,379 SUCH AS EXCESSIVE SCAR TISSUE OR IMPROPER HEALING INTERNALLY 1345 01:08:27,379 --> 01:08:31,206 THAT COULD LIMIT WHAT WE ARE ABLE TO DO SURGICALLY WITH HER. 1346 01:08:31,206 --> 01:08:34,724 SO WE NEED TO SEE WHAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE TO DO, 1347 01:08:34,724 --> 01:08:39,000 BUT, HOPEFULLY, WE'LL BE ABLE TO DO GASTRIC BYPASS FOR HER. 1348 01:08:41,448 --> 01:08:43,827 Holly: I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW, 1349 01:08:43,827 --> 01:08:46,793 BECAUSE DR. NOW SAID I WAS APPROVED. 1350 01:08:46,793 --> 01:08:48,655 BUT I'M REALLY HOPING THAT I DIDN'T DO 1351 01:08:48,655 --> 01:08:51,344 ANY SORT OF IRREVERSIBLE DAMAGE 1352 01:08:51,344 --> 01:08:54,724 BY POPPING MY STAPLES WITH THE PREVIOUS SURGERY, 1353 01:08:54,724 --> 01:08:56,931 BECAUSE I KNOW THIS IS MY ONLY CHANCE 1354 01:08:56,931 --> 01:08:59,206 TO START TO GET MY WEIGHT UNDER CONTROL. 1355 01:08:59,206 --> 01:09:02,103 SO I REALLY NEED THE SURGERY TO WORK. 1356 01:09:02,103 --> 01:09:07,620 ♪♪ 1357 01:09:07,620 --> 01:09:13,206 ♪♪ 1358 01:09:13,206 --> 01:09:16,724 Holly: TODAY, I AM GETTING MY WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 1359 01:09:16,724 --> 01:09:18,379 DR. NOW'S CONSIDERING THE FACT 1360 01:09:18,379 --> 01:09:19,931 THAT I'VE HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY BEFORE 1361 01:09:19,931 --> 01:09:22,344 AND THERE'S GONNA BE A LOT OF SCAR TISSUE. 1362 01:09:22,344 --> 01:09:26,896 AND IT'S A LITTLE UNNERVING AND CONCERNING, 1363 01:09:26,896 --> 01:09:29,689 BUT HE THINKS WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY IS STILL POSSIBLE. 1364 01:09:29,689 --> 01:09:34,655 ♪♪ 1365 01:09:34,655 --> 01:09:37,448 MY WORST FEAR IS THAT I DON'T WAKE UP, 1366 01:09:37,448 --> 01:09:40,310 BUT I'M PLANNING ON DOING WHATEVER I NEED 1367 01:09:40,310 --> 01:09:42,620 AND WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN IN ORDER 1368 01:09:42,620 --> 01:09:45,620 TO GET TO MY TARGET WEIGHT. 1369 01:09:45,620 --> 01:09:48,655 AND I KNOW DR. NOW IS RIGHT. 1370 01:09:48,655 --> 01:09:51,344 THIS IS JUST ONE OF THE FIRST BIG STEPS FOR ME 1371 01:09:51,344 --> 01:09:54,103 ON A LONG ROAD TO GET TO WHERE I NEED. 1372 01:09:54,103 --> 01:09:58,689 ♪♪ 1373 01:10:02,206 --> 01:10:03,931 BETTER BELIEVE IT. 1374 01:10:06,206 --> 01:10:08,896 I'LL SEE YOU LATER.LOVE YOU. 1375 01:10:08,896 --> 01:10:13,413 LOVE YOU, TOO. 1376 01:10:13,413 --> 01:10:17,586 BEING ABLE TO GET HEALTHY IS EVERYTHING I'VE ALWAYS WANTED, 1377 01:10:17,586 --> 01:10:20,137 AND I FEEL LIKE I'M READY FOR IT. 1378 01:10:20,137 --> 01:10:22,965 AND THIS TIME I'M NOT GONNA WASTE THIS CHANCE 1379 01:10:22,965 --> 01:10:25,482 TO MAKE SURE I HAVE THE LIFE AND THE FUTURE 1380 01:10:25,482 --> 01:10:27,793 I'VE ALWAYS WANTED. 1381 01:10:27,793 --> 01:10:33,068 I CAME HERE TO TAKE THE RISK, AND IT'S A HUGE RISK, 1382 01:10:33,068 --> 01:10:37,758 BUT EVERYTHING'S RIDING ON IT, AND THE REST OF MY LIFE 1383 01:10:37,758 --> 01:10:40,413 DEPENDS ON THE SURGERY BEING SUCCESSFUL. 1384 01:10:40,413 --> 01:10:43,931 ♪♪ 1385 01:10:43,931 --> 01:10:46,172 Dr. Now: TODAY WE ARE HOPEFULLY GOING TO BE ABLE 1386 01:10:46,172 --> 01:10:49,758 TO PERFORM BYPASS SURGERY ON HOLLY. 1387 01:10:49,758 --> 01:10:52,827 BUT BECAUSE SHE'S ALREADY HAD A PREVIOUS SURGERY 1388 01:10:52,827 --> 01:10:55,379 WHERE SHE BLEW HER STAPLES OUT, 1389 01:10:55,379 --> 01:10:57,965 THERE IS A LOT OF SCAR TISSUE AND ISSUES 1390 01:10:57,965 --> 01:11:01,413 WE HAVE TO TRY TO WORK AROUND TO SEE WHAT'S POSSIBLE. 1391 01:11:05,103 --> 01:11:07,862 I DID AN ENDOSCOPY ON HER A FEW DAYS AGO, 1392 01:11:07,862 --> 01:11:10,379 WHERE WE PUT A CAMERA DOWN INTO HER STOMACH 1393 01:11:10,379 --> 01:11:13,586 AND CHECKED TO SEE IF THERE ARE ANY SEVERE ISSUES 1394 01:11:13,586 --> 01:11:15,827 THAT WOULD PREVENT SURGERY. 1395 01:11:15,827 --> 01:11:19,344 WE CAN TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF. 1396 01:11:19,344 --> 01:11:23,551 THERE WERE NO SIGNIFICANT ISSUES INSIDE HER STOMACH CAVITY, 1397 01:11:23,551 --> 01:11:26,827 BUT THE REAL PROBLEM WOULD BE CAUSED BY SCAR TISSUE 1398 01:11:26,827 --> 01:11:30,172 AROUND HER STOMACH MUSCLES AND INCISIONS. 1399 01:11:34,931 --> 01:11:38,068 SO THERE IS NO WAY TO KNOW HOW SEVERE THE ISSUES ARE 1400 01:11:38,068 --> 01:11:42,275 UNTIL WE SEE HOW IT ALL LOOKS INSIDE THOSE AREAS. 1401 01:11:42,275 --> 01:11:45,586 BUT MY GOAL IS TO REPAIR ALL THE DAMAGE I FIND 1402 01:11:45,586 --> 01:11:48,310 AND PERFORM THE GASTRIC BYPASS ON HER 1403 01:11:48,310 --> 01:11:53,000 BECAUSE SHE NEEDS AS AGGRESSIVE A PROCEDURE AS POSSIBLE. 1404 01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:55,896 AND GASTRIC BYPASS IS AN OPERATION 1405 01:11:55,896 --> 01:11:59,586 THAT REDUCES SIZE OF STOMACH BY 90% 1406 01:11:59,586 --> 01:12:02,965 AND BYPASS THE UPPER PART OF SMALL INTESTINE. 1407 01:12:02,965 --> 01:12:06,896 SO IT IMPEDES THE ABSORPTION OF FOOD INTO THE BODY. 1408 01:12:06,896 --> 01:12:09,482 AND THIS ALSO LIMITS THE AMOUNT OF FOOD 1409 01:12:09,482 --> 01:12:12,551 THAT THE PATIENT CAN EAT AT ONE TIME. 1410 01:12:12,551 --> 01:12:17,068 SO THIS WILL HELP THEM TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT OVER THE LONG TERM. 1411 01:12:27,275 --> 01:12:31,965 IT LOOKS LIKE HOLLY HAS A HERNIA AROUND HER BELLY BUTTON, 1412 01:12:31,965 --> 01:12:36,137 AND IT LOOKS LIKE IT IS WRAPPING AROUND SOME OF HER INTESTINES 1413 01:12:36,137 --> 01:12:37,551 AND THE STOMACH. 1414 01:12:37,551 --> 01:12:40,758 AND THIS HERNIA WILL CAUSE SEVERE COMPLICATIONS 1415 01:12:40,758 --> 01:12:44,172 AND COULD EVEN BE LIFE-THREATENING FOR HER. 1416 01:12:44,172 --> 01:12:47,379 SO THIS IS AN EXTREMELY UNFORTUNATE SITUATION 1417 01:12:47,379 --> 01:12:49,275 WITH HOLLY RIGHT NOW, 1418 01:12:49,275 --> 01:12:52,000 BECAUSE AS LONG AS THIS HERNIA IS HERE, 1419 01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:54,413 THERE IS NO WAY WE CAN SAFELY COMPLETE 1420 01:12:54,413 --> 01:12:55,241 WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY ON HER. 1421 01:13:03,482 --> 01:13:12,448 ♪♪ 1422 01:13:12,448 --> 01:13:15,137 Dr. Now: RIGHT NOW, WE HAVE BEEN ATTEMPTING TO PERFORM 1423 01:13:15,137 --> 01:13:17,517 GASTRIC BYPASS ON HOLLY, 1424 01:13:17,517 --> 01:13:20,620 BUT WE HAVE ENCOUNTERED A SIGNIFICANT PROBLEM 1425 01:13:20,620 --> 01:13:24,310 THAT IS A RESULT OF HER PREVIOUS SURGERY. 1426 01:13:24,310 --> 01:13:27,896 ON TOP OF ALL THE SCAR TISSUE WE ARE HAVING TO WORK AROUND, 1427 01:13:27,896 --> 01:13:31,310 SHE HAS A SEVERE HERNIA AROUND HER BELLY BUTTON 1428 01:13:31,310 --> 01:13:34,827 THAT IS EXTENDED AND WRAPPED AROUND HER INTESTINE 1429 01:13:34,827 --> 01:13:37,310 AND HER ABDOMINAL CAVITY. 1430 01:13:37,310 --> 01:13:39,000 AND IF THAT'S NOT FIXED, 1431 01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:43,379 THEN COMPLETING ANY WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY ON HER WON'T BE POSSIBLE 1432 01:13:43,379 --> 01:13:47,275 BECAUSE IT COULD RESULT IN SEVERE COMPLICATION FOR HER 1433 01:13:47,275 --> 01:13:49,482 THAT COULD BE LIFE-THREATENING. 1434 01:13:49,482 --> 01:13:52,310 SO I AM ATTEMPTING TO FIX HER HERNIA, 1435 01:13:52,310 --> 01:13:54,137 BECAUSE IT IS THE ONLY CHANCE 1436 01:13:54,137 --> 01:13:56,965 HOLLY HAS TO HAVE THIS OPERATION. 1437 01:14:02,482 --> 01:14:04,172 ROOM LIGHT ON. 1438 01:14:06,344 --> 01:14:09,586 I'M ALMOST FINISHED REPAIRING HER HERNIA, 1439 01:14:09,586 --> 01:14:11,068 AND ONCE I DO THAT, 1440 01:14:11,068 --> 01:14:14,655 I WILL NEED TO REPAIR SOME OF THE DAMAGE AROUND HER STOMACH 1441 01:14:14,655 --> 01:14:17,275 FROM HER PREVIOUS WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY 1442 01:14:17,275 --> 01:14:22,137 AND THEN I'M GOING TO ATTEMPT TO COMPLETE A FULL GASTRIC BYPASS. 1443 01:14:22,137 --> 01:14:24,793 BUT I STILL HAVE A WAYS TO GO. 1444 01:14:28,241 --> 01:14:33,551 ♪♪ 1445 01:14:33,551 --> 01:14:37,517 IT'S NERVE-WRACKING WHEN YOU'RE WAITING FOR NEWS, 1446 01:14:37,517 --> 01:14:40,586 AND I'M NERVOUS FOR HOLLY. 1447 01:14:40,586 --> 01:14:42,172 THERE'S ALWAYS A POSSIBILITY 1448 01:14:42,172 --> 01:14:45,034 THAT HOLLY'S NOT GONNA COME OUT OF THE SURGERY ALIVE, 1449 01:14:45,034 --> 01:14:47,931 BUT I ALSO KNOW SHE'S A STRONG PERSON 1450 01:14:47,931 --> 01:14:49,655 AND THAT SHE'S GONNA DO WELL. 1451 01:14:49,655 --> 01:14:55,413 ♪♪ 1452 01:14:55,413 --> 01:15:02,344 ♪♪ 1453 01:15:02,344 --> 01:15:11,241 ♪♪ 1454 01:15:11,241 --> 01:15:13,448 ROOM LIGHT ON. 1455 01:15:13,448 --> 01:15:15,137 LET'S CLOSE IT UP. 1456 01:15:17,379 --> 01:15:20,103 OKAY, ALL FINISHED. 1457 01:15:20,103 --> 01:15:23,793 OKAY, HOLLY'S SURGERY WENT VERY WELL. 1458 01:15:23,793 --> 01:15:28,172 IT WAS VERY CHALLENGING BECAUSE OF HER PREVIOUS SURGERY. 1459 01:15:28,172 --> 01:15:30,896 THERE WERE A FEW MOMENTS WHERE I WAS UNCERTAIN 1460 01:15:30,896 --> 01:15:34,586 IF WE WERE GOING TO BE ABLE TO COMPLETE THE OPERATION. 1461 01:15:34,586 --> 01:15:37,241 WE HAD TO MAKE AN INCISION AND FIX THAT HERNIA 1462 01:15:37,241 --> 01:15:39,344 THAT SHE HAD IN BELLY BUTTON 1463 01:15:39,344 --> 01:15:41,103 SO THE BOWEL WOULD NOT GET INTO IT 1464 01:15:41,103 --> 01:15:43,931 AND HAVE COMPLICATION AFTER SURGERY. 1465 01:15:43,931 --> 01:15:47,931 SO, OVERALL, SURGERY WAS COMPLICATED BUT WENT VERY WELL, 1466 01:15:47,931 --> 01:15:52,068 AND WE WERE ABLE TO DO GASTRIC BYPASS ON HER. 1467 01:15:52,068 --> 01:15:54,482 AND THIS IS GONNA GIVE HER THE HELP SHE NEEDS 1468 01:15:54,482 --> 01:15:56,931 TO STAY ON TRACK AND KEEP LOSING WEIGHT 1469 01:15:56,931 --> 01:16:00,103 WHILE SHE WORKS ON HER DEEPER EMOTIONAL ISSUES. 1470 01:16:00,103 --> 01:16:03,793 THAT WILL BE VITAL FOR LONG-TERM SUCCESS. 1471 01:16:03,793 --> 01:16:06,965 AND WITH THIS SURGERY, HOLLY SHOULD LOSE 40 POUNDS 1472 01:16:06,965 --> 01:16:08,310 THIS FIRST MONTH, 1473 01:16:08,310 --> 01:16:10,413 AND THEN 25 POUNDS EACH MONTH 1474 01:16:10,413 --> 01:16:14,034 UNTIL SHE GETS IN THE LOWER 300s. 1475 01:16:14,034 --> 01:16:17,620 BUT IF HOLLY WANTS TO SEE THAT PROGRESS CONTINUE, 1476 01:16:17,620 --> 01:16:20,517 THEN SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE SURE SHE DEALS 1477 01:16:20,517 --> 01:16:24,206 WITH THE ISSUES THAT HAVE BEEN DRIVING HER TO EAT. 1478 01:16:24,206 --> 01:16:27,448 SO WE NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT HOLLY WILL FOLLOW 1479 01:16:27,448 --> 01:16:30,137 WITH THE THERAPIST AND CONTINUE WITH THAT, 1480 01:16:30,137 --> 01:16:33,137 BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO BE VERY EASY FOR HER 1481 01:16:33,137 --> 01:16:38,275 TO FALL BACK INTO USING FOOD TO DEAL WITH HER EMOTIONS. 1482 01:16:38,275 --> 01:16:41,000 AND IF THAT HAPPENS AND SHE FAILS 1483 01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:43,448 AFTER A SECOND WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 1484 01:16:43,448 --> 01:16:46,827 THEN THERE WON'T BE ANYTHING MORE WE CAN DO FOR HER. 1485 01:16:46,827 --> 01:16:55,724 ♪♪ 1486 01:16:55,724 --> 01:17:04,724 ♪♪ 1487 01:17:04,724 --> 01:17:06,586 Holly: IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE MY SURGERY, 1488 01:17:06,586 --> 01:17:07,827 AND I'M FEELING REALLY GOOD 1489 01:17:07,827 --> 01:17:11,379 BECAUSE I'VE BEEN MAKING GOOD PROGRESS. 1490 01:17:11,379 --> 01:17:13,724 MY CRAVINGS HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN THAT BAD 1491 01:17:13,724 --> 01:17:15,862 BECAUSE I'M DEALING WITH MY EMOTIONS, 1492 01:17:15,862 --> 01:17:19,103 AND THAT'S MADE A HUGE DIFFERENCE. 1493 01:17:19,103 --> 01:17:20,827 READY?YEP. 1494 01:17:23,068 --> 01:17:24,931 Holly: I HAD ANOTHER APPOINTMENT WITH LOLA, 1495 01:17:24,931 --> 01:17:27,931 AND WE TALKED ABOUT THE NEXT BIG STEP FOR ME. 1496 01:17:27,931 --> 01:17:30,551 SO I'M GOING BACK HOME AND TALKING TO MY MOM. 1497 01:17:33,310 --> 01:17:35,689 I'M REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT IT, 1498 01:17:35,689 --> 01:17:38,482 BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO KEEP DEALING WITH MY EMOTIONS 1499 01:17:38,482 --> 01:17:42,724 IF I WANT TO CHANGE HOW I END UP. 1500 01:17:42,724 --> 01:17:44,275 IT'S BEEN OVER 15 YEARS 1501 01:17:44,275 --> 01:17:47,206 SINCE I'VE BEEN SMALL ENOUGH TO FIT BEHIND THE WHEEL, 1502 01:17:47,206 --> 01:17:49,551 BUT RAY'S GONNA LET ME DRIVE SOME, 1503 01:17:49,551 --> 01:17:51,793 AND I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THAT. 1504 01:17:51,793 --> 01:17:54,931 ♪♪ 1505 01:17:54,931 --> 01:17:56,620 READY?YEP. 1506 01:17:56,620 --> 01:18:00,551 ♪♪ 1507 01:18:00,551 --> 01:18:04,206 Holly: LAST TIME, THIS TRIP TOOK ME ABOUT FOUR DAYS. 1508 01:18:04,206 --> 01:18:06,482 SO I'M HOPING WITH ALL THE WEIGHT I'VE LOST 1509 01:18:06,482 --> 01:18:08,862 I'M ABLE TO DO THE DRIVE IN HALF THE TIME. 1510 01:18:08,862 --> 01:18:10,413 AND MAYBE THAT'LL MEAN THAT SOON 1511 01:18:10,413 --> 01:18:13,586 I'LL BE ABLE TO DO THE DRIVE IN JUST A DAY. 1512 01:18:13,586 --> 01:18:16,724 BUT I JUST HAVE TO SEE HOW I DO ON THE ROAD. 1513 01:18:16,724 --> 01:18:18,517 I WANT TO MAKE SURE I'M NOT IN ANY PAIN 1514 01:18:18,517 --> 01:18:22,310 OR EXHAUSTED WHEN I GET THERE, BECAUSE I KNOW IF I AM, 1515 01:18:22,310 --> 01:18:23,655 I WON'T BE IN A GOOD ENOUGH PLACE 1516 01:18:23,655 --> 01:18:26,551 TO WORK UP THE COURAGE TO TALK TO MY MOM LIKE I NEED, 1517 01:18:26,551 --> 01:18:28,068 AND THAT'S THE WHOLE REASON WE'RE DOING THIS. 1518 01:18:34,000 --> 01:18:40,931 ♪♪ 1519 01:18:40,931 --> 01:18:42,241 Holly: ME AND RAY ARE IN GEORGIA, 1520 01:18:42,241 --> 01:18:43,413 AND I'M REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF, 1521 01:18:43,413 --> 01:18:44,931 BECAUSE WE'VE DRIVEN STRAIGHT THROUGH 1522 01:18:44,931 --> 01:18:46,103 TO GET HERE. 1523 01:18:46,103 --> 01:18:47,827 I HAVEN'T NEEDED TO STOP AND REST. 1524 01:18:47,827 --> 01:18:51,551 AND ON TOP OF THAT, I'VE DRIVEN MOST OF THE WAY. 1525 01:18:51,551 --> 01:18:53,379 SO THIS HAS BEEN A BIG STEP FOR ME 1526 01:18:53,379 --> 01:18:55,724 BECAUSE IT SHOWS ME HOW FAR I'VE COME. 1527 01:18:58,344 --> 01:19:01,068 BUT NOW THAT I'M GETTING CLOSE TO BEING BACK HOME, 1528 01:19:01,068 --> 01:19:04,517 I'M GETTING A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT TALKING WITH MY MOM. 1529 01:19:04,517 --> 01:19:07,758 I JUST HOPE IT GOES WELL AND SHE UNDERSTANDS HOW IMPORTANT IT IS 1530 01:19:07,758 --> 01:19:10,206 FOR ME TO TALK TO HER ABOUT SOME OF THESE THINGS, 1531 01:19:10,206 --> 01:19:11,586 BECAUSE, WHEN I WAS YOUNG, 1532 01:19:11,586 --> 01:19:14,758 I NEVER FELT LIKE I COULD GO TO EITHER MY PARENTS. 1533 01:19:14,758 --> 01:19:16,862 SO I THINK TALKING TO MY MOM 1534 01:19:16,862 --> 01:19:18,758 AND GETTING THIS OUT IN THE OPEN IS IMPORTANT 1535 01:19:18,758 --> 01:19:21,137 SO THAT I DON'T KEEP STUFFING THESE EMOTIONS 1536 01:19:21,137 --> 01:19:24,862 AND EATING BECAUSE OF THEM. 1537 01:19:24,862 --> 01:19:26,620 BUT ALL I'M REALLY EXPECTING FROM MY MOM 1538 01:19:26,620 --> 01:19:28,689 IS TO BE ABLE TO SHARE THINGS WITH HER 1539 01:19:28,689 --> 01:19:31,655 THAT I WASN'T ABLE TO WHEN I WAS A KID. 1540 01:19:31,655 --> 01:19:34,137 SO I'M JUST HOPING SHE'S WILLING TO LISTEN. 1541 01:19:37,586 --> 01:19:40,586 HI. YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD! 1542 01:19:40,586 --> 01:19:42,448 DID YOU DRIVE ALL NIGHT? 1543 01:19:42,448 --> 01:19:44,896 YEAH, WE SWITCHED OFF. IT WASN'T ALL ME. 1544 01:19:44,896 --> 01:19:46,758 OH, YOU'RE BEHIND THE DRIVER'S SEAT. 1545 01:19:46,758 --> 01:19:49,137 YES. HI. 1546 01:19:49,137 --> 01:19:50,448 HI.LOOK AT YOU. 1547 01:19:50,448 --> 01:19:52,724 I KNOW. REMEMBER THIS SHIRT? 1548 01:19:52,724 --> 01:19:54,172 YEAH. 1549 01:19:54,172 --> 01:19:56,034 COOL. 1550 01:19:56,034 --> 01:19:57,275 WELL, IT'S COLD OUT HERE. 1551 01:19:57,275 --> 01:19:58,724 YEAH.COME ON IN THE HOUSE. 1552 01:19:58,724 --> 01:20:04,620 ♪♪ 1553 01:20:04,620 --> 01:20:08,965 COME IN AND SIT DOWN. 1554 01:20:08,965 --> 01:20:10,172 HAVE A SEAT. 1555 01:20:10,172 --> 01:20:11,862 OKAY. 1556 01:20:11,862 --> 01:20:16,068 ♪♪ 1557 01:20:16,068 --> 01:20:18,137 SO, YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN GOING TO COUNSELING. 1558 01:20:18,137 --> 01:20:19,793 UH-HUH. 1559 01:20:19,793 --> 01:20:21,344 IT'S BROUGHT UP SOME THINGS THAT I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. 1560 01:20:21,344 --> 01:20:24,000 OKAY. 1561 01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:26,655 ONE OF THE THINGS THAT WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT 1562 01:20:26,655 --> 01:20:30,517 IS HOW, IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED. 1563 01:20:39,413 --> 01:20:42,000 I HAD NO IDEA. 1564 01:20:42,000 --> 01:20:44,551 I KNOW. 1565 01:20:46,275 --> 01:20:51,000 WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK YOU COULD COME AND TALK TO ME? 1566 01:20:51,000 --> 01:20:54,586 BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WOULD BE IN TROUBLE. 1567 01:20:54,586 --> 01:20:59,068 BUT, AT THE TIME, I WAS SCARED AND... 1568 01:20:59,068 --> 01:21:00,758 I BET. 1569 01:21:00,758 --> 01:21:02,482 ...FELT ALONE. 1570 01:21:04,758 --> 01:21:06,482 I WASN'T THERE FOR YOU? 1571 01:21:09,137 --> 01:21:15,137 I JUST FELT LIKE I DIDN'T HAVE ANYWHERE TO GO SOMETIMES. 1572 01:21:15,137 --> 01:21:19,965 HOPEFULLY, GETTING THIS OUT IN THE OPEN NOW WILL HELP YOU HEAL. 1573 01:21:19,965 --> 01:21:21,689 I THINK IT WILL. 1574 01:21:30,413 --> 01:21:33,896 YOU COULD TALK TO ME FROM NOW ON. 1575 01:21:33,896 --> 01:21:36,482 I WILL LISTEN BETTER. 1576 01:21:36,482 --> 01:21:38,000 I WILL TRY TO TALK MORE. 1577 01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:39,689 OKAY. 1578 01:21:39,689 --> 01:21:43,827 ♪♪ 1579 01:21:43,827 --> 01:21:46,034 I LOVE YOU.I LOVE YOU, TOO. 1580 01:21:46,034 --> 01:21:48,275 THANK YOU FOR SHARING. 1581 01:21:48,275 --> 01:21:51,275 YOU'RE WELCOME. 1582 01:21:51,275 --> 01:21:53,965 I FEEL LIKE THE CONVERSATION WITH MY MOM WENT WELL, 1583 01:21:53,965 --> 01:21:57,068 BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE SHE LISTENED TO ME AND HEARD ME. 1584 01:21:57,068 --> 01:22:01,275 AND I FEEL LIKE WE'RE ACTUALLY A LITTLE CLOSER AFTER THIS TALK. 1585 01:22:01,275 --> 01:22:03,793 I'VE SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE JUST BURYING EVERYTHING 1586 01:22:03,793 --> 01:22:05,344 WHEN PEOPLE HURT ME, 1587 01:22:05,344 --> 01:22:07,862 AND I NEVER TELL THEM OR TALK ABOUT IT, 1588 01:22:07,862 --> 01:22:11,758 BUT THAT'S WHAT LED ME TO BEING OVER 600 POUNDS. 1589 01:22:11,758 --> 01:22:15,758 SO I'M PROUD OF MYSELF FOR FACING MY FEARS. 1590 01:22:15,758 --> 01:22:18,103 I'M STARTING TO GET MY LIFE BACK NOW, 1591 01:22:18,103 --> 01:22:20,931 AND I'M GONNA KEEP DOING EVERYTHING I NEED TO MAKE SURE 1592 01:22:20,931 --> 01:22:23,758 I DON'T LET ANYTHING EVER TAKE IT FROM ME AGAIN. 1593 01:22:23,758 --> 01:22:30,965 ♪♪ 1594 01:22:30,965 --> 01:22:38,172 ♪♪ 1595 01:22:38,172 --> 01:22:40,482 Holly: THIS PAST MONTH HAS BEEN REALLY GOOD. 1596 01:22:42,965 --> 01:22:44,655 AFTER MY TALK WITH MY MOM, 1597 01:22:44,655 --> 01:22:48,931 I WAS ABLE TO TALK A LITTLE BIT WITH MY DAD, TOO. 1598 01:22:48,931 --> 01:22:50,310 IT WAS REALLY ENCOURAGING, 1599 01:22:50,310 --> 01:22:51,862 AND I'M STARTING TO FEEL REALLY GOOD 1600 01:22:51,862 --> 01:22:54,620 ABOUT THE DIRECTION MY LIFE IS GOING RIGHT NOW, 1601 01:22:54,620 --> 01:22:57,965 AND THAT'S BEEN THE MOST INCREDIBLE FEELING. 1602 01:22:57,965 --> 01:23:01,758 SO I'M STARTING TO DO THINGS I'VE NEVER DONE. 1603 01:23:01,758 --> 01:23:04,137 MY FAVORITE THING IS THIS AEROBIC DANCE CLASS 1604 01:23:04,137 --> 01:23:08,172 I'VE SIGNED UP FOR THAT HELPS ME GET MORE EXERCISE. 1605 01:23:08,172 --> 01:23:09,862 IT'S JUST A TON OF FUN, 1606 01:23:09,862 --> 01:23:11,448 AND I FIGURE IF I GET GOOD ENOUGH, 1607 01:23:11,448 --> 01:23:15,206 I CAN TAKE RAY OUT, AND WE CAN GO DANCING TOGETHER. 1608 01:23:15,206 --> 01:23:16,413 Woman: COME ON IN. 1609 01:23:16,413 --> 01:23:19,448 SO, THIS CLASS IS VERY BEGINNER-LEVEL. 1610 01:23:19,448 --> 01:23:21,275 EVERYONE'S GONNA KIND OF BE FOLLOWING ALONG. 1611 01:23:21,275 --> 01:23:24,551 WE'RE GONNA DO A COUPLE STEPS AND THEN REPEAT IT. 1612 01:23:24,551 --> 01:23:26,758 WHEW! OKAY, HERE WE GO. 1613 01:23:26,758 --> 01:23:30,034 FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT. ONE, TWO... 1614 01:23:30,034 --> 01:23:32,137 Holly: I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT HOW MY LIFE IS GOING NOW 1615 01:23:32,137 --> 01:23:34,620 AND HOW MUCH IS CHANGING FOR THE BETTER. 1616 01:23:34,620 --> 01:23:38,793 AND I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT MORE I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO DO. 1617 01:23:38,793 --> 01:23:40,206 I WOULD HAVE NEVER BELIEVED THAT 1618 01:23:40,206 --> 01:23:42,448 THIS WOULD'VE BEEN POSSIBLE A YEAR AGO, 1619 01:23:42,448 --> 01:23:46,344 BECAUSE I'M DOING MORE THAN I THINK I'VE DONE MY WHOLE LIFE. 1620 01:23:46,344 --> 01:23:48,862 IT'S JUST UNBELIEVABLE IN SOME WAYS 1621 01:23:48,862 --> 01:23:51,206 AND I'M EXCITED TO KEEP DOING MORE AND MORE 1622 01:23:51,206 --> 01:23:54,620 AND I HAVE NO PLANS TO SLOW DOWN AT ALL ANY TIME SOON. 1623 01:23:54,620 --> 01:24:02,241 ♪♪ 1624 01:24:02,241 --> 01:24:09,758 ♪♪ 1625 01:24:09,758 --> 01:24:11,413 I'M REALLY EXCITED, BECAUSE TONIGHT 1626 01:24:11,413 --> 01:24:13,931 I'M TAKING RAY ON A DATE. 1627 01:24:13,931 --> 01:24:16,206 NOW THAT I'VE LOST A WHOLE LOT OF WEIGHT, 1628 01:24:16,206 --> 01:24:20,482 I DECIDED I WANTED TO GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING FUN. 1629 01:24:20,482 --> 01:24:26,103 SO RAY FOUND A PLACE NEARBY THAT HAS LIVE MUSIC ON THE WEEKENDS, 1630 01:24:26,103 --> 01:24:29,586 AND I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. 1631 01:24:29,586 --> 01:24:32,793 A YEAR AGO, NOT ONLY WOULD THIS HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE 1632 01:24:32,793 --> 01:24:36,137 FOR ME TO EVEN CONSIDER DOING, 1633 01:24:36,137 --> 01:24:39,034 BUT I WOULDN'T HAVE SPOKEN UP AND TOLD RAY WHAT I WANTED. 1634 01:24:39,034 --> 01:24:42,896 ♪♪ 1635 01:24:42,896 --> 01:24:44,241 IF YOU TOLD ME THAT MY LIFE 1636 01:24:44,241 --> 01:24:45,896 WOULD CHANGE THIS MUCH IN A YEAR, 1637 01:24:45,896 --> 01:24:47,482 I WOULD'VE THOUGHT IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE, 1638 01:24:47,482 --> 01:24:49,379 AND I WOULDN'T HAVE BELIEVED IT. 1639 01:24:49,379 --> 01:24:52,206 BUT THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING OF MY NEW LIFE. 1640 01:24:52,206 --> 01:24:54,137 [ MUSIC, INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ] 1641 01:24:57,172 --> 01:24:59,000 LESS NERVE-RACKING. 1642 01:25:03,793 --> 01:25:05,620 THANK YOU. 1643 01:25:05,620 --> 01:25:07,103 LOVE YOU. 1644 01:25:07,103 --> 01:25:11,413 ME AND RAY ARE EVEN TALKING ABOUT FINALLY GETTING MARRIED, 1645 01:25:11,413 --> 01:25:14,344 BECAUSE I CAN ACTUALLY WALK DOWN THE AISLE NOW. 1646 01:25:14,344 --> 01:25:17,931 SO OUR FUTURE IS LOOKING REALLY BRIGHT. 1647 01:25:17,931 --> 01:25:20,620 I KNOW I STILL HAVE A LOT OF HARD WORK AHEAD, 1648 01:25:20,620 --> 01:25:22,344 BUT KNOWING WHAT'S WAITING FOR ME 1649 01:25:22,344 --> 01:25:26,586 IS MOTIVATING ME TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET THE LIFE I WANT. 1650 01:25:26,586 --> 01:25:28,689 AND I KNOW WITH ALL I'VE ALREADY DONE 1651 01:25:28,689 --> 01:25:30,620 AND WHAT I'VE SEEN I'M CAPABLE OF, 1652 01:25:30,620 --> 01:25:32,344 I'M STRONG ENOUGH TO DO IT.