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00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:04,069
Announcer: Ladies and gentleman,
it's "The Eric Andre Show"!
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[ Screaming ]
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♪♪
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Aah! Aah! Aaaaaah!
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Aah! Oh!
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[ Straining ]
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[ Screaming ]
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Ugh!
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♪♪
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Aah!
[ Gunfire ]
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[Bleep]
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[ Explosion ]
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[ Slow motion screaming ]
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[ Explosion ]
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[ Ringing, slow motion screaming
continues ]
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♪♪
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Aah!
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Who-o-o-a!
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[ Screaming ]
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♪♪
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[ Breathing heavily ]
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[ Thudding ]
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00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:07,466
♪♪
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Oh, God.
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Sweet blessings to you,
my divine chocolate prince.
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[ Harp plays ]
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Dah!
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Monologue, monologue, monologue,
monologue, monologue.
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-Hey!
-Hannibal.
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-What?
-Chime in.
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Well, to what?
There's no flow.
32
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What's going on
behind those glasses?
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Let me see those
little [bleep] peepers.
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Huh?
35
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Oh, that's it.
You got the river blindness.
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Like an old
blues player.
37
00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,129
-This is just
from my creativity.
-Bullshit.
38
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How many fingers
am I holding up?
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Five.
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♪♪
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You want to go see
the baseball game later?
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Sure.
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Love you, Pops.
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I love you, too, son.
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Hi. Sorry to bother you.
46
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Do you mind watching my dad
just for two seconds?
47
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I just have to use the restroom
real quick.
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-Okay, hurry up.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Thank you so much.
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00:02:00,987 --> 00:02:03,221
I appreciate it.
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Oh!
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-Aah! Aah!
-Aah!
52
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Aah!
53
00:02:08,728 --> 00:02:09,895
Oh!
54
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,498
Ow! Ow!
55
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[ Gasps ] What happened?
What happened?
56
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:19,070
-She pushed me!
-Oh, no.
-No.
57
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I trusted you.
58
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What -- what is
going on here?
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Dude, I'll never trust
anyone again...
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except for Lexivan.
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Ohh! It hurts!
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You know, when your dad
falls down a flight of stairs,
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whether someone pushed him
or not, Lexivan will help.
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[Bleep] Ohh!
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They're the only pill that
are actually lemon-
and lime-flavored.
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If you're stressed, take one.
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What's the worst
that could happen?
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Lexivan -- What's the worst
that can happen?
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♪ Killin' it, killin' it ♪
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[ Plink! ]
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Ladies and gentlemen,
rap superstar Saweetie!
72
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♪ I am just a girl
who's gotta see the world ♪
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♪ Is what that got me ♪
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♪ Now don't you try to stop me ♪
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♪ I'm gonna reach the sky ♪
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I like your table.
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Thank you.
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00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:19,864
[ Applause ]
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00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:22,133
Can I call you Sawwy?
-Sawwy?
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Yeah, like,
"I'm Sawwy."
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Okay, okay.
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Are you on
psychedelics?
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[ Audience cheers,
applauds ]
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-No.
-Prove it.
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[ Belches ]
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Whoa!
-Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!
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[ Laughing ] That chair
is [bleep] cool.
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Saweetie: Whew!
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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Whoa!
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I still got it,
after all these years.
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[ Clattering,
glass breaks ]
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[ Chanting ] Eric! Eric!
Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric!
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All: [ Chanting ]
Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric!
Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric!
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00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:01,840
Whoo.
96
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,808
What's going on here,
guys?
97
00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:06,345
Oh, I have, like,
a lowrider kind of desk.
98
00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:09,047
-I quit.
-What?
99
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,348
-Peace.
-Bye.
100
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:12,017
There's a nose hair
over there.
101
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,386
Just clone me.
I'm out.
102
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:18,657
♪♪
103
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:21,259
Clone me.
Clone me.
104
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:23,795
Clone me. Clone me.
Clone me.
105
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:30,969
♪♪
106
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Yes. Yes!
He's even better than Hannibal.
107
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,874
He's Blannibal.
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Blannibal.
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00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:45,684
I don't...
register what you just did.
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00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:50,088
♪♪
111
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,458
[ Laughs ] I got -- I got a
couple of video games on there.
112
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:55,427
The flip phone,
I was noticing on there,
113
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,362
it looks like, if you text,
you've got to do --
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if you want "C,"
you got to click it three times.
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Anybody using a --
Oh, my God.
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Oh!
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00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,573
Oh! Ah! Ow!
118
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Oh, my God!
-What the hell happened?
119
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,644
-Are you okay?
-[ Winces ] Ah!
120
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:14,279
Do you believe in God?
121
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:19,851
You know, that stinks, but I'll
tell you what doesn't stink.
122
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[ Winces, farts ]
123
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You've been on "Fart 'Splosion"
this entire time.
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[ Laughs, claps hands ]
125
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:32,030
You should've seen the look
on your face.
126
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[ People cheering ]
127
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:38,603
♪♪
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00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:41,673
Here's $5.
Here's $5.
129
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,441
Here's $5.
130
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,477
-Really, we got surprised.
-And then he farted?
131
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Then he farted, and he broke
another window, yeah.
132
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♪ To all the troops
in the USA ♪
133
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:52,317
♪ "Fart 'Splosion" ♪
134
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♪ We're getting on down ♪
135
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When the second window broke,
136
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I honestly thought, you know,
we might be in --
137
00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:00,992
we might be in harm's way.
-Right, right.
138
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,827
I mean, this was
very concerning.
139
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,363
When you're on "Fart 'Splosion,"
you make money,
140
00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:08,166
and we all farted
before you guys got here.
141
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,667
[ Farts ]
142
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[ Applause ]
143
00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:15,807
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
144
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:19,677
♪ Oh ♪
145
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,112
[ Applause ]
146
00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:25,016
Aw, nice weather we're having,
Blannibal, right?
147
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,518
[ Grunts ]
148
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,154
You know her from "Shameless."
Please welcome...
149
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:32,524
♪♪
150
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,993
Ooh, nice.
151
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,196
Oh. Mwah, mwah.
-Mwah, mwah.
152
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,698
Yeah, it's gone.
-Yeah. Thank you.
153
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:43,601
Can I get you anything?
Water? Coffee?
154
00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:45,437
I'm okay.
Thank you.
155
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:46,738
Yeah, I'll do a coffee.
Yeah, yeah, thank you.
156
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:48,173
-That's really nice.
-Yeah, yeah, thanks so much.
157
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,241
-What's his name?
-I don't know.
158
00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:52,143
-How do you not know
the people --
-Here he is.
159
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,779
-I'm Paul. Here you go.
-His name's Paul.
160
00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:56,815
-What the hell?
-How you doing?
161
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,116
He got that shit fast.
Thank you so much.
162
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,251
Thank you for the water.
I actually did want it.
163
00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:02,353
Who's this?
-That's Blannibal.
164
00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:04,689
Hannibal quit the show,
so I had to clone him.
165
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:06,257
Hi, Blannibal.
166
00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:07,492
-[ Grunts ]
-How are you?
167
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:08,993
[ Siren wails ]
168
00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:11,796
♪♪
169
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:15,934
Yo! What's up?!
170
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,535
What stinks in here?
171
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:18,937
Hi.
172
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,739
Blannibal, you're so funny,
Bla-- Blannibal.
173
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:23,641
[ Laughter ]
174
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:27,078
Well, you're known for --
you're known for dropping
pretty big deuces on set.
175
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,747
You're known as
the set coil dropper.
-That is not true.
176
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:32,383
You know, I'm actually
a germophobe, and I --
177
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:33,785
Oh, what's --
178
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,787
Hey!
179
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:37,789
Hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey!
180
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:39,757
What is happening?
181
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:42,527
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey!
182
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:45,697
Hey! Hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey!
-Bravo!
183
00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:47,165
Hey!
184
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,267
Hey! Hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey!
185
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,969
Mazel tov!
Hey, hey.
186
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,470
Alright, mazel.
187
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:53,972
Those are some
handsome Jews.
188
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,441
Those were some
good-looking Jews!
189
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,276
This was the best interview
ever, right?
190
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,044
Oh, shit!
-Oh!
191
00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,646
[ Clattering, cat yowls ]
192
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:07,585
♪♪
193
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,954
Hi, guys.
I'm with this company.
194
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:12,390
It's a new airline
called Asian Southeast Air.
195
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:15,059
Would you be willing to sign up
to -- to your e-mail?
196
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:16,561
-Sure.
-Ooh!
197
00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:18,830
Holy [bleep] That guy
just crawled out of the water.
198
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,565
-He was in the water?
-Ow.
199
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,634
Help me. Help me.
-They're calling help.
200
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,470
Don't move any further.
Just stay there, okay?
201
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,406
-Are you Angel?
Is that your name?
-Yeah, that is my name, yeah.
202
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,909
I'm working a promo thing.
-Yeah, me, too.
203
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:33,545
Working a promo thing
with Asian Southeast Air?
204
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:34,812
I was a week ago.
205
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,514
But you weren't working
right now, were you?
206
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,850
-No, I was in a plane.
-You were in a plane?
207
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:42,053
They said if I sold
20 credit cards,
208
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,788
they were gonna
fly me to Hawaii.
209
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:45,623
I had, like, all the legroom
in the world,
210
00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:47,759
I was eating peanuts,
and the pilot came out,
211
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:50,695
and he said I lied,
he said I fudged the numbers.
212
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:53,298
[ Crying ] And the guy pushed me
out of the --
213
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,633
He pushed me
out of the...
214
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:58,169
[ Screaming ]
215
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,470
[ Water splashes ]
216
00:08:59,505 --> 00:09:01,239
I wouldn't t--
I wouldn't trust --
217
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,975
I wouldn't trust those people
you're working for.
218
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:06,344
I was you a week ago.
-Okay.
219
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,313
There's no medical person
around here?
220
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,847
Angel,
you saved my life.
221
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,015
Okay, sit still.
222
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,817
-They tried to kill me.
-Sit down.
223
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,819
I still have the --
I still have these peanuts.
224
00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:15,987
[ Crunches ]
225
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:18,556
You fell in the water.
Why are you eating that?
226
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:21,626
-They cleaned up the East River.
Do you want some Lexivan?
-No.
227
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:24,596
It's the only psychoactive drug
that's lemon-lime flavor.
228
00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:26,030
Someone pushed you out
the plane, you said?
229
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,699
Yeah, I got pushed
out of the plane.
230
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,268
Lexivan --
now in lemon-lime flavor.
231
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,638
Ladies and gentleman,
"Rapper Warrior Ninja."
232
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:35,940
[ Air horn blows ]
233
00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:39,043
Alright, Jasper, do the
dizzy bat, but keep rapping.
234
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:42,347
[ Rapping ]
♪ I came here with some jeans
on, but I had to take them off ♪
235
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:44,415
Chow down
on these hot peppers.
236
00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:45,950
[ Cheering, whistling ]
237
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:47,819
-Aah!
-Wait. You got to start rapping.
238
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:50,788
♪ Brand-new whip, came with
some brand-new jeans ♪
239
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:53,791
♪ I came into this game
to try to win with ease ♪
240
00:09:53,826 --> 00:09:55,760
-Keep rapping.
-♪ I don't even [bleep] rap ♪
241
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,662
♪ I'm a hype man
and an actor ♪
242
00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:00,331
♪ I don't know how to rap,
I'm not even a rapper ♪
243
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:02,467
Dance!
-Ow! What the?
244
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,869
What the?
-Dance! Dance!
245
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:07,238
♪♪
246
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,640
Aah!
247
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:11,876
-[ Shouting ]
-Come on! Nigga, cut!
248
00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:13,745
-Is it spicy?
-It's so hot.
249
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,347
Where do I got to go?
Oh! Oh, my God!
250
00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:18,516
[ Air horn blows ]
251
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,185
Aah!
252
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:23,287
Grab the money.
Yeah!
253
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:24,956
-Ahh!
-Taco killing it.
254
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,392
Play that beat.
Use this microphone.
255
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,627
Use this microphone.
New microphone for you.
256
00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:31,329
-What the [bleep]
-New microphone.
257
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,898
Where the [bleep]
am I going?
258
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:35,199
[ Laughter ]
259
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,135
Yes, a new challenge.
260
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,505
[ Rapping ]
♪ Pop off just like a rocket ♪
261
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,273
♪ I got money, I got it ♪
262
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,374
♪ You know I got it
in the... ♪
263
00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:44,475
Oh!
264
00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:46,277
♪ This nigga really
just shocked me ♪
265
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,478
♪ Hold up, I'm going to the -- ♪
266
00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:48,780
Oh!
267
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,314
[ Slow motion ] Oh!
268
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:53,084
[ Imitates air horn ]
269
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:56,054
Oh, shit, the celebrity
guest judge Danny Brown!
270
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,089
Talib Kweli!
Talib Kweli!
271
00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,857
He just got here!
272
00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:01,125
[ Electricity crackles ]
Ow!
273
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,660
[ Air horn blows ]
274
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:03,828
It's terrible.
275
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:06,831
[ Cheers and applause ]
276
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,433
Abso Lutely.
277
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:09,734
-Someone
pushed you out the plane?
-Yeah, I got pushed
278
00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:11,069
out of the plane.