1 00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:00,584 Must you? Just here? 2 00:01:00,668 --> 00:01:03,462 ... three, two, one! 3 00:01:03,546 --> 00:01:05,547 Happy New Year! 4 00:01:48,051 --> 00:01:49,385 I do. 5 00:01:51,554 --> 00:01:55,058 It now gives me great pleasure to pronounce you... 6 00:01:57,812 --> 00:01:58,812 Excuse me. 7 00:02:11,618 --> 00:02:14,078 You all right? 8 00:02:14,538 --> 00:02:16,622 I'm fine. 9 00:02:16,707 --> 00:02:19,292 - Something lodged? - Nothing. 10 00:02:19,376 --> 00:02:20,960 - Water. - What? 11 00:02:21,044 --> 00:02:22,878 A glass of water, please. 12 00:02:22,963 --> 00:02:25,006 - Where's the water? - I don't know. 13 00:02:29,804 --> 00:02:31,596 Oh, dear. 14 00:02:31,681 --> 00:02:33,515 He's getting it from the font! 15 00:02:34,309 --> 00:02:35,475 Mmm. 16 00:02:43,652 --> 00:02:45,611 Jesus Christ. Sorry. 17 00:02:47,323 --> 00:02:49,574 - So sorry. Where were we? - "I now pronounce you." 18 00:02:49,616 --> 00:02:51,993 - I now pronounce you. - Yeah. 19 00:02:55,331 --> 00:02:58,708 - No, thank you. - I now pronounce you... 20 00:02:58,792 --> 00:03:01,169 ...husband and wife. 21 00:03:08,762 --> 00:03:09,762 Look at them. 22 00:03:09,846 --> 00:03:12,681 - Aren't they adorable? - Yes. 23 00:03:13,475 --> 00:03:15,684 I give it a year. 24 00:03:33,371 --> 00:03:34,788 And for those of you who don't know me, 25 00:03:34,872 --> 00:03:36,873 and especially if we meet in the bar later, 26 00:03:36,957 --> 00:03:39,377 my name is, "Danny Do-you-want-a-pint?" 27 00:03:39,961 --> 00:03:42,046 "Danny Do-you-want-a-pint?" 28 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,131 Fornication... 29 00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:45,966 I'll read that again. 30 00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:47,593 For an occasion... 31 00:03:47,677 --> 00:03:48,719 like this, 32 00:03:48,804 --> 00:03:51,931 I want to make sure I keep up the traditions of being a best man. 33 00:03:52,015 --> 00:03:54,975 Apparently I need to get the groom to the church on time. Tick. 34 00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:57,603 I need to remember the rings. Did that. And I need to... 35 00:03:57,687 --> 00:04:00,106 have sex with a bridesmaid. Wahey! 36 00:04:01,734 --> 00:04:05,070 I... To be fair, I wrote these, um... before I knew they... 37 00:04:05,196 --> 00:04:06,947 I would never have sex with a... 38 00:04:07,031 --> 00:04:09,157 Maybe when they're older. Never say never. 39 00:04:09,242 --> 00:04:11,410 And keep away from Paedo Rog! Ha-ha! 40 00:04:11,494 --> 00:04:12,911 All right, Paedo? Nice to have you. 41 00:04:12,995 --> 00:04:14,579 He's come a long way. Good lad. 42 00:04:15,249 --> 00:04:19,001 It's great to see so many people turn up to see Josh finally tie the knot. 43 00:04:19,086 --> 00:04:20,545 And about time, too. 44 00:04:20,629 --> 00:04:22,755 Nat's got it all. She's brilliantly clever, 45 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:25,216 apparently really delivers in the bedroom. 46 00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:28,010 Like mother like daughter, eh? He knows what I'm talking about. 47 00:04:28,095 --> 00:04:29,095 And I don't know about you, 48 00:04:29,179 --> 00:04:31,764 but I feel she could easily be a model, I think we'll agree, 49 00:04:32,099 --> 00:04:34,142 if it wasn't for her nose. 50 00:04:34,643 --> 00:04:36,686 When I first saw her beaver... 51 00:04:36,770 --> 00:04:38,688 ...ing away... Beavering away, 52 00:04:38,772 --> 00:04:40,857 cooking Josh a meal, I knew she was a real catch. 53 00:04:41,483 --> 00:04:44,611 Um, I've got no idea why her previous boyfriend cheated on her, 54 00:04:44,696 --> 00:04:46,113 but, uh, I'm glad he did. 55 00:04:46,197 --> 00:04:47,656 Cheers to him, wherever he may be. 56 00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:49,324 Probably shagging. 57 00:04:49,409 --> 00:04:51,703 But, uh, no. Um, seriously, Nat. 58 00:04:51,787 --> 00:04:53,913 You're a real eight out of ten, love. I mean that sincerely. 59 00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:56,624 And we're delighted you and Josh have found each other. 60 00:04:56,709 --> 00:04:58,710 So, everyone, please, raise your glasses 61 00:04:59,128 --> 00:05:01,546 as we say a little toast to Nat and Josh. 62 00:05:01,755 --> 00:05:03,715 To Nat and Josh! 63 00:05:09,138 --> 00:05:10,722 Nat is literally gonna be cringing right now. 64 00:05:10,806 --> 00:05:13,141 She hates being the centre of attention. 65 00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:15,852 It is impossible to imagine anyone 66 00:05:15,936 --> 00:05:18,771 looking more beautiful than you do today, Nat. 67 00:05:18,856 --> 00:05:21,149 And I know how much you love being the centre of attention. 68 00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:22,860 That's just one of the things that makes us so different. 69 00:05:23,153 --> 00:05:24,570 Because I'm a thinker, you're a doer. 70 00:05:25,071 --> 00:05:27,240 I'm laissez-faire, you're anal. 71 00:05:27,325 --> 00:05:28,366 Hey, you dirty sod! 72 00:05:29,327 --> 00:05:30,410 On you go. 73 00:05:30,495 --> 00:05:32,287 I think it's fine for a man to wear Crocs, 74 00:05:32,371 --> 00:05:35,081 and you've made it abundantly clear you do not. 75 00:05:36,709 --> 00:05:37,751 I know it's only been seven months, 76 00:05:37,835 --> 00:05:41,963 and some of you think that we're crazy for getting married, but... 77 00:05:42,632 --> 00:05:47,135 all I know is, from the first moment I saw you, 78 00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:49,846 I knew that yours was the only face 79 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:51,890 and the only voice... 80 00:05:52,517 --> 00:05:55,143 - that I would ever need again. - Aw! 81 00:05:55,228 --> 00:05:56,853 'Cause in that moment, everything just changed. 82 00:05:56,938 --> 00:06:00,148 Everything just seemed to fit so perfectly. 83 00:06:00,233 --> 00:06:01,776 Wahey! 84 00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:05,197 And I'm so lucky that I feel like I'm only just getting to know you. 85 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,910 Ladies and gentlemen, 86 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:11,787 here's to us. 87 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,415 - Here's to us. - Cheers! 88 00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:39,774 Are you happy? 89 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,568 The happiest. 90 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,364 The best two hours and 36 minutes of my life. 91 00:06:49,494 --> 00:06:51,954 You know, I had this terrible fear 92 00:06:52,038 --> 00:06:55,416 that you were gonna do some sort of novelty dance. 93 00:07:03,592 --> 00:07:05,926 Get it on quickly, get it on quickly. I'm so sorry, Nat. 94 00:07:39,338 --> 00:07:41,255 - You can't say those things. - Don't be a player hater. 95 00:07:41,340 --> 00:07:43,466 Seriously, mate. Don't hate the player, hate the game. 96 00:07:43,592 --> 00:07:44,634 Am I right? Put it there, mate. 97 00:07:48,723 --> 00:07:50,432 - Ready? - Yeah. 98 00:08:08,285 --> 00:08:10,411 Aw. That's nice. 99 00:08:14,124 --> 00:08:17,126 Listen, son, you know it's not easy, don't you? 100 00:08:17,836 --> 00:08:20,755 - The first year is the worst. - Okay. 101 00:08:20,839 --> 00:08:22,256 - It's true. - Thank you. 102 00:08:22,341 --> 00:08:24,093 If you can make it through the first year of marriage, 103 00:08:24,177 --> 00:08:26,887 - you can make it through anything. - Yeah. 104 00:08:27,597 --> 00:08:29,932 You know, there were times when your father was late home 105 00:08:30,016 --> 00:08:32,768 - I used to fantasise he'd been killed. - Did you? 106 00:08:32,852 --> 00:08:34,186 - Mmm. - That's nice. 107 00:08:34,270 --> 00:08:36,105 Oh, in my mind, it was always the IRA. 108 00:08:36,356 --> 00:08:37,731 Strange, strange. 109 00:08:37,774 --> 00:08:39,942 But things got better because we love each other. 110 00:08:40,318 --> 00:08:42,236 Tremendous, tremendous. 111 00:08:51,038 --> 00:08:53,039 - Shall we go, yeah? This is weird. - Yes, it's a bit weird. 112 00:08:58,254 --> 00:09:00,214 Unbelievable. Just unbelievable. 113 00:09:09,391 --> 00:09:12,059 - So, that was nine months ago. - Mmm. 114 00:09:12,561 --> 00:09:16,313 And I think even then we knew instinctively 115 00:09:16,398 --> 00:09:17,690 something wasn't quite right. 116 00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,900 You realised you'd married beneath yourself. 117 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,570 You thought you could be with someone better-looking, 118 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,322 better body, perhaps a professional man? 119 00:09:25,407 --> 00:09:26,992 - Uh, no. - No. 120 00:09:27,076 --> 00:09:31,872 No, no, I think we were both in love with the idea of being in love. 121 00:09:32,874 --> 00:09:37,003 You know, and we're at that age where we're ready to find "the one". 122 00:09:37,087 --> 00:09:39,505 And don't tell me, Josh, you opened that closet door, 123 00:09:39,590 --> 00:09:40,882 didn't want to live that lie any more. 124 00:09:41,133 --> 00:09:42,633 I picked up on it the moment you sat down. 125 00:09:42,718 --> 00:09:45,261 Tricks of the trade. You know, you can tell by the shoes. 126 00:09:46,472 --> 00:09:49,474 No! Oh, Christ, no, no, no, no, I'm completely straight. 127 00:09:49,892 --> 00:09:51,559 Couldn't be less gay. I mean, I don't even like... 128 00:09:51,643 --> 00:09:53,394 touching my own penis. 129 00:09:56,273 --> 00:09:58,316 Right, so were there terrible sexual problems? 130 00:09:58,525 --> 00:10:01,152 Does he have tremendously niche desires? 131 00:10:01,612 --> 00:10:02,820 Did he want to touch you here? 132 00:10:06,116 --> 00:10:07,951 - Uh... - Never with a pen. 133 00:10:10,288 --> 00:10:12,582 Look, Nat's amazing, obviously. She's wonderful. 134 00:10:12,666 --> 00:10:14,793 And I think we both really want to make this work. 135 00:10:14,877 --> 00:10:15,919 But is it possible 136 00:10:16,003 --> 00:10:18,379 that some people just aren't supposed to be married? 137 00:10:18,464 --> 00:10:20,632 Truthfully, there's just something in our marriage 138 00:10:20,716 --> 00:10:22,258 that hasn't quite... 139 00:10:22,343 --> 00:10:24,177 - Clicked. ...jelled. 140 00:10:30,851 --> 00:10:32,477 So? Was it like a dream? 141 00:10:32,561 --> 00:10:34,854 Well, we ticked every wedding box. 142 00:10:34,939 --> 00:10:37,774 Cake, sweaty uncles dancing to Queen. 143 00:10:37,858 --> 00:10:40,568 People we thought were dead flying in from Canada. 144 00:10:40,653 --> 00:10:42,570 It was very wedding-y, right? 145 00:10:42,655 --> 00:10:43,988 It was so romantic. 146 00:10:44,073 --> 00:10:45,406 It was just like a Hugh Grant film. 147 00:10:45,616 --> 00:10:47,619 - It was amazing, wasn't it? - Mmm! 148 00:10:47,703 --> 00:10:49,496 Did you like all the flowers? We got the most... 149 00:10:49,580 --> 00:10:50,831 I'm sorry, 150 00:10:51,123 --> 00:10:52,749 but can we do this at lunch? 151 00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:54,793 - Right. Absolutely, Helen. - Thanks. 152 00:10:54,877 --> 00:10:56,837 Ruthlessly efficient, as always. 153 00:10:56,921 --> 00:10:57,963 We should not be talking about 154 00:10:58,047 --> 00:10:59,923 - lace halter necks on company time. - No. 155 00:11:00,925 --> 00:11:04,010 - What's the story? - While you were on your holiday, 156 00:11:04,178 --> 00:11:05,387 I took the initiative 157 00:11:05,513 --> 00:11:07,722 and I started gathering ideas for Guy Harrap. 158 00:11:08,099 --> 00:11:11,518 He's taken over his father's industrial solvent and bleach empire. 159 00:11:11,602 --> 00:11:16,398 You weren't here, but he basically wants to make solvents and bleach sexy. 160 00:11:16,482 --> 00:11:18,441 Fuck off. 161 00:11:20,611 --> 00:11:23,114 Is that my dirty little slut of a wife? 162 00:11:23,991 --> 00:11:24,991 Hey! 163 00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:26,325 What are you doing? 164 00:11:26,410 --> 00:11:28,287 Uh, middle of a meeting. What's up? 165 00:11:28,496 --> 00:11:31,456 Maybe I'm just missing the sexiest wife in the universe. 166 00:11:31,541 --> 00:11:34,751 - Not working today? - I've got writer's block. 167 00:11:35,169 --> 00:11:39,131 I can't work out whether to call my main character Ezra 168 00:11:39,382 --> 00:11:41,967 - or David. - Um, David. 169 00:11:42,051 --> 00:11:43,719 I was at school with an Ezra who got expelled 170 00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,137 for punching a swan in the throat. 171 00:11:45,221 --> 00:11:47,055 Who said the second novel would be tricky? 172 00:11:48,099 --> 00:11:49,141 Anything else? 173 00:11:49,225 --> 00:11:51,977 No, no, no. I'll see you at three. 174 00:11:52,061 --> 00:11:53,562 Love... 175 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,230 ...you. 176 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,984 Sorry, that was my husband. 177 00:11:58,068 --> 00:11:59,527 He has writer's block. 178 00:11:59,612 --> 00:12:01,487 Did I mention that he was a writer, of books? 179 00:12:01,572 --> 00:12:03,615 - Only about a million times. - Yeah, Clare mentioned it, 180 00:12:03,699 --> 00:12:05,867 but I've never heard of him. 181 00:12:10,290 --> 00:12:11,332 Sorry, sorry. 182 00:12:11,416 --> 00:12:13,667 You do realise you're not going any faster than walking, don't you? 183 00:12:13,752 --> 00:12:15,836 You've got all the superficial trappings of a run 184 00:12:15,921 --> 00:12:18,088 but there's people walking much faster than you. 185 00:12:18,214 --> 00:12:20,424 You're just expending a lot of surplus energy. 186 00:12:20,592 --> 00:12:22,593 Thank you for that analysis. 187 00:12:22,677 --> 00:12:23,969 How late are we? 188 00:12:24,054 --> 00:12:27,139 Well, you, my little friend, are 10 minutes early. 189 00:12:27,223 --> 00:12:29,934 I told you the wrong time because I knew you'd never be on schedule. 190 00:12:30,602 --> 00:12:32,686 - Right. - Mmm! 191 00:12:32,771 --> 00:12:35,649 I'm just trying to work out if I find that endearing 192 00:12:35,733 --> 00:12:39,277 or it makes me want to bludgeon you to death with a shovel. 193 00:12:39,362 --> 00:12:41,029 - No, it's endearing. - I think it's a shovel. 194 00:12:41,113 --> 00:12:43,281 - It's endearing. - Do we have a shovel? 195 00:12:43,366 --> 00:12:46,618 Well, firstly, a hearty "mazoltov" for your marriage. 196 00:12:47,453 --> 00:12:48,621 - I think it's "mazel tov", isn't it? - Thank you. 197 00:12:48,956 --> 00:12:50,748 - Mmm? - I always thought it was "mazel tov". 198 00:12:50,916 --> 00:12:52,291 I don't know, I'm not Jewish. 199 00:12:52,709 --> 00:12:53,751 Oh. 200 00:12:54,419 --> 00:12:58,965 But, as you know, whilst everything may seem so happy now, 201 00:12:59,049 --> 00:13:01,384 of course you could be struck down at any time. 202 00:13:01,468 --> 00:13:05,429 Cancer. Heart disease. Meningitis. 203 00:13:05,555 --> 00:13:07,181 Hit by a truck. 204 00:13:07,265 --> 00:13:08,684 Bam! 205 00:13:09,477 --> 00:13:13,438 I had a client who was kicked to death by a group of disaffected youths 206 00:13:13,523 --> 00:13:14,898 high on meow meow. 207 00:13:14,983 --> 00:13:17,150 She'd just left the house to get potatoes. 208 00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:19,820 - Just potatoes. - Shit. 209 00:13:19,904 --> 00:13:21,154 And the tragedy was, 210 00:13:21,239 --> 00:13:23,031 she hadn't thought to make a will. 211 00:13:23,616 --> 00:13:25,784 Or a Tesco home delivery. 212 00:13:25,868 --> 00:13:26,994 What? 213 00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:28,997 Yeah. 214 00:13:29,665 --> 00:13:32,333 She was only identifiable by her dental records. 215 00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:34,836 Why, what had they done to her? 216 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,671 They'd made impressions of her teeth. 217 00:13:38,716 --> 00:13:40,633 Still, fortunately, you two have had the presence of mind 218 00:13:40,718 --> 00:13:41,759 to plan for your future. 219 00:13:41,969 --> 00:13:44,221 So, have you considered what would happen 220 00:13:44,305 --> 00:13:46,724 if either of you fell into a persistent... 221 00:13:46,808 --> 00:13:49,476 - ... vegetatative state? - A what, sorry? 222 00:13:49,561 --> 00:13:51,478 Persistent vegetatative state. 223 00:13:51,563 --> 00:13:54,231 Mmm. One too many T's there. "Vegetative." 224 00:13:57,027 --> 00:13:59,820 Have you considered what would happen if you fell into... 225 00:13:59,904 --> 00:14:00,988 one of these guys? 226 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:03,741 Just pillow talk, really. 227 00:14:05,035 --> 00:14:07,119 No, I think we did decide that we'd both like to be left to die. 228 00:14:07,370 --> 00:14:09,789 Excellent, yes. We just switched off my aunt. 229 00:14:09,832 --> 00:14:11,416 - I'm sorry. - Aw. 230 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,501 No, it's all right. It's no quality of life. 231 00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,170 And we freed up a socket for a lava lamp. 232 00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:16,463 Ah. 233 00:14:16,547 --> 00:14:17,630 It's transformed the lounge. 234 00:14:17,715 --> 00:14:18,757 - Yeah? - Yeah. 235 00:14:18,841 --> 00:14:20,134 Largely losing her, to be fair. 236 00:14:21,511 --> 00:14:24,472 Now, can we go through a few of these? Just give me a yes or no. 237 00:14:24,556 --> 00:14:27,558 Are we switching the life support off? 238 00:14:27,642 --> 00:14:28,684 Brain dead? 239 00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:32,438 - Switch it off. - Switch it off. Get it off. 240 00:14:33,148 --> 00:14:34,565 Locked-in syndrome? 241 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,276 That's the one where you're paralysed but you can still wink. 242 00:14:37,903 --> 00:14:39,111 It's all the... 243 00:14:39,738 --> 00:14:41,989 It's the dribble, isn't it, that I couldn't handle. 244 00:14:42,074 --> 00:14:44,450 - Constantly mopping up phlegm. - I wouldn't want that. 245 00:14:44,534 --> 00:14:46,410 You wouldn't want that. That's why you're murdering your wife. 246 00:14:47,579 --> 00:14:48,662 So, are you switching it off? 247 00:14:48,747 --> 00:14:49,956 - Sorry, what are you doing? - Off! 248 00:14:50,041 --> 00:14:51,333 - Switch it off, yeah. - Off she goes! 249 00:14:51,417 --> 00:14:53,126 Night-night. 250 00:14:53,753 --> 00:14:57,465 Um, brain-damaged and vegetative. 251 00:14:57,549 --> 00:14:59,050 - Thank you. - Mmm. 252 00:14:59,426 --> 00:15:00,968 Um, brain stem undamaged. 253 00:15:01,053 --> 00:15:03,930 So you're breathing, you're swallowing, you're fine, 254 00:15:04,014 --> 00:15:07,016 but you are still literally a shell of a person 255 00:15:07,101 --> 00:15:10,770 with no capacity for any emotion or thought. 256 00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:13,564 Much like my Susan. 257 00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:15,441 My little joke. 258 00:15:17,986 --> 00:15:19,821 - Off, off. - Off, yeah, off. 259 00:15:19,905 --> 00:15:23,783 Get that off, off, off, off! 260 00:15:25,327 --> 00:15:26,619 Well, this is slightly more depressing 261 00:15:26,703 --> 00:15:27,870 - than I'd imagined. - Oh, no. Come one. 262 00:15:27,955 --> 00:15:30,164 And you haven't even received my bill yet. 263 00:15:31,919 --> 00:15:33,336 That's a good 'un. That is a good 'un. 264 00:15:40,344 --> 00:15:42,846 An electric peppermill? 265 00:15:42,930 --> 00:15:44,764 I can't believe you got an electric peppermill. 266 00:15:45,516 --> 00:15:47,684 We thought we had to have at least one dinner party 267 00:15:47,768 --> 00:15:49,435 to use all the crap we got bought. 268 00:15:50,229 --> 00:15:51,563 At least that's a useful gift. 269 00:15:51,772 --> 00:15:53,565 D'you know what I mean? I hate those gifts where someone says, 270 00:15:53,649 --> 00:15:54,691 "Do you know what I've done for you? 271 00:15:54,775 --> 00:15:56,151 "I've donated to charity on your behalf." 272 00:15:56,235 --> 00:15:58,069 "Have you? Really?" Bollocks to that. 273 00:15:58,154 --> 00:16:00,655 If I'm getting married, why should some African fella get a couple of goats? 274 00:16:00,739 --> 00:16:02,282 I want a fucking smoothie maker, d'you know what I mean? 275 00:16:05,077 --> 00:16:07,413 - Did you get them goats? - Four of them. 276 00:16:07,497 --> 00:16:08,539 - Four goats? - Yeah. 277 00:16:08,623 --> 00:16:10,166 That's a lovely gift, that, because they need goats. 278 00:16:12,253 --> 00:16:13,670 African fella's pleased. 279 00:16:14,630 --> 00:16:17,299 Go on, tell us about your honeymoon. 280 00:16:17,466 --> 00:16:20,010 It was lovely. It was idyllic. 281 00:16:20,094 --> 00:16:21,386 Morocco's beautiful. 282 00:16:21,470 --> 00:16:22,804 - Amazing place, yeah. - Yeah. 283 00:16:22,889 --> 00:16:24,181 It was just a bit long, really. 284 00:16:24,265 --> 00:16:25,265 I was really sad when we came back. 285 00:16:25,349 --> 00:16:27,851 Well, things hit a low point when we found ourselves 286 00:16:27,935 --> 00:16:30,103 in the Essaouira Museum of Leather Manufacturing 287 00:16:30,730 --> 00:16:33,273 discussing if we had a superpower, what would it be? 288 00:16:33,357 --> 00:16:36,359 I actually really enjoyed that. I thought that was really fun. 289 00:16:36,444 --> 00:16:37,944 I think if I was gonna have any superpower, 290 00:16:38,154 --> 00:16:39,779 it would be the ability to speak Spanish. 291 00:16:39,906 --> 00:16:42,158 That would be amazing, wouldn't it? Because you could say stuff like, 292 00:16:42,242 --> 00:16:44,785 - Hola, gazpacho. - You just said it. 293 00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:46,370 - You're saying it now. - Oh, wow. 294 00:16:46,455 --> 00:16:47,872 Hmm. 295 00:16:47,956 --> 00:16:50,291 Not strictly speaking a superpower, though, is it, really? 296 00:16:50,375 --> 00:16:52,127 Otherwise everyone in Brazil would be superheroes. 297 00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:53,754 Mmm, true. 298 00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:55,589 They speak Portuguese in Brazil. 299 00:16:56,674 --> 00:16:57,674 You cock. 300 00:17:00,011 --> 00:17:01,929 - Mmm? - Keep it for the car. 301 00:17:02,013 --> 00:17:04,264 Um, so... Wait, so, Josh, 302 00:17:04,349 --> 00:17:06,266 - what did you choose? - Boring, really. Super-strength. 303 00:17:06,351 --> 00:17:08,018 That's what I would choose, too! 304 00:17:08,269 --> 00:17:11,230 I think it would be so handy to be able to open, like, jam jars. 305 00:17:11,314 --> 00:17:13,440 Jam jars! That's exactly... Isn't that exactly what I said? 306 00:17:13,524 --> 00:17:15,943 - That's exactly what you said. - That's exactly what I said. 307 00:17:16,027 --> 00:17:17,069 - That's so funny. - That is so funny. 308 00:17:17,153 --> 00:17:19,906 Are we eight years old, all of a sudden? This is what children talk about. 309 00:17:19,990 --> 00:17:21,449 All right, Nat, calm down, we were only having a joke. 310 00:17:21,533 --> 00:17:22,700 Yeah, joke's over. 311 00:17:22,785 --> 00:17:25,286 Ooh. "Grounds for divorce dot com." 312 00:17:26,038 --> 00:17:29,499 Shut up, you "bell-end dot-co-dot-uk". 313 00:17:30,834 --> 00:17:32,419 To be honest, I'm not sure you could get a divorce 314 00:17:32,504 --> 00:17:34,129 because I'm not even sure you're officially married. 315 00:17:34,214 --> 00:17:35,464 Because they never officially split up. 316 00:17:39,552 --> 00:17:40,803 - What? - What? 317 00:17:40,887 --> 00:17:42,054 They never officially split up. 318 00:17:42,138 --> 00:17:43,389 What are you talking about? 319 00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:47,017 You never officially broke up, did you? 320 00:17:47,394 --> 00:17:51,939 Yeah, actually it's, um... it's pretty funny, really, 321 00:17:52,023 --> 00:17:56,152 because, um, when I left for Africa, 322 00:17:56,237 --> 00:17:57,904 we sort of never formally ended it. 323 00:17:57,989 --> 00:17:59,030 Never formal. 324 00:18:01,075 --> 00:18:03,201 We just sort of... We left it open. 325 00:18:03,286 --> 00:18:04,411 Wide open. 326 00:18:04,495 --> 00:18:05,704 Then I ended up being gone for four years. 327 00:18:05,788 --> 00:18:08,206 - About four years... - But what's four years, really? 328 00:18:13,588 --> 00:18:14,755 I've told you this. 329 00:18:15,924 --> 00:18:18,843 - Nat. Nat. - Hmm? 330 00:18:18,927 --> 00:18:20,094 I've told you this. 331 00:18:22,764 --> 00:18:24,682 He wasn't happy, though, I'll tell you, that time. 332 00:18:24,766 --> 00:18:28,185 Honestly, we used to refer to 2008 as the sort of... as the "lost year". 333 00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:30,355 - Mate. - He would just sit there in his pants. 334 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,150 You know, drinking and playing Grand Theft Auto, masturbating. 335 00:18:33,276 --> 00:18:34,443 No! 336 00:18:34,527 --> 00:18:36,570 Sometimes all three at once. 337 00:18:36,654 --> 00:18:37,904 That's an impressive thing. I couldn't do that. 338 00:18:37,989 --> 00:18:39,656 I could practise for ages, I wouldn't be able to do that. 339 00:18:39,741 --> 00:18:40,782 Imagine that on Britain's Got Talent. 340 00:18:44,203 --> 00:18:48,332 Nat, I'm really sorry about that, back there. 341 00:18:48,416 --> 00:18:49,624 I just... I thought that you knew. 342 00:18:49,709 --> 00:18:52,711 Oh, no, don't be silly. It was years ago. 343 00:18:52,795 --> 00:18:55,923 2008, I was still using "LOL" un-ironically 344 00:18:56,008 --> 00:18:57,050 and wearing ballet flats. 345 00:18:59,636 --> 00:19:01,929 Look at those. You look really cute in those. 346 00:19:02,014 --> 00:19:04,140 - Thanks, thanks. - Pretty. 347 00:19:04,809 --> 00:19:06,143 Um... 348 00:19:06,227 --> 00:19:08,645 Yeah, well, you know, it really was a long time ago 349 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,147 and we were both so young. 350 00:19:10,231 --> 00:19:12,274 We were so different back then. 351 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:15,110 And now he's married to the coolest woman on the planet. 352 00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:16,487 You're sweet. 353 00:19:16,571 --> 00:19:19,156 I thought, "I've got it made, I married a doctor." 354 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,241 And then you realise, you're gonna wake up every day 355 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,826 to the same hairy ears. 356 00:19:23,995 --> 00:19:26,330 The same slightly deformed fungal toenail. 357 00:19:26,414 --> 00:19:27,998 And you're gonna have to listen to that weird, 358 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,917 ear-throat-clearing sound they make 359 00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:31,377 every day until you are dead. 360 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,841 And the same penis. 361 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:41,305 I may, literally, never see another penis again. 362 00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,349 Unless it's a small child's. 363 00:19:44,976 --> 00:19:47,395 Or if you get sexually assaulted. 364 00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:58,489 And Josh's is lovely. You know, we have an incredible sex life. 365 00:19:58,824 --> 00:20:00,741 But that's not the point, you know. 366 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,785 I love Michael Jackson's Off the Wall album. 367 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,830 I wouldn't necessarily want to only listen to that for the rest of my life. 368 00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:08,040 Yeah. Oh, honey, I've been there. 369 00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:10,626 I mean, you'll listen to it a lot in the beginning. 370 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,086 You'll listen to it in all different sorts of places. 371 00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,047 You'll listen to it in the car, 372 00:20:14,132 --> 00:20:15,883 in the disabled toilet cubicle in the McDonald's in Egham, 373 00:20:17,386 --> 00:20:19,303 in your unconscious granny's hospital room. 374 00:20:20,139 --> 00:20:22,473 - Granny Mary? - It's what she would have wanted. 375 00:20:23,851 --> 00:20:24,976 But then, you know, 376 00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:26,144 you're just gonna get to the point 377 00:20:26,228 --> 00:20:28,146 where you're not that bothered about listening to music at all. 378 00:20:28,689 --> 00:20:30,773 You just play it on birthdays, 379 00:20:30,858 --> 00:20:33,234 or when you're very, very drunk. 380 00:20:33,694 --> 00:20:34,777 Or... 381 00:20:35,946 --> 00:20:37,613 if someone shows you a Justin Bieber video 382 00:20:37,698 --> 00:20:38,865 when you're in the office 383 00:20:38,949 --> 00:20:42,743 and, you know, all you can then think about is that. 384 00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:46,789 Isn't he, like, 15? 385 00:20:47,249 --> 00:20:48,833 Oh, he'd know what to do. 386 00:20:50,752 --> 00:20:52,921 I'd ruin Bieber. 387 00:20:53,381 --> 00:20:56,426 You would. You would ruin him. 388 00:20:58,846 --> 00:21:01,347 Fuck. It's the soundtrack to my marriage. 389 00:21:01,432 --> 00:21:03,349 Don't get married, you. Too late for you. 390 00:21:07,605 --> 00:21:09,147 Penny for them. 391 00:21:10,024 --> 00:21:12,358 Your thoughts. How you doing? 392 00:21:12,443 --> 00:21:13,860 Hey, Danny. 393 00:21:19,617 --> 00:21:21,326 Let's get the party started. 394 00:21:21,410 --> 00:21:23,453 Get comfy. Get comfy. 395 00:21:37,803 --> 00:21:40,263 You know, I shouldn't really tell you this, but I was talking to Josh... 396 00:21:40,348 --> 00:21:42,015 ...and, um, 397 00:21:42,475 --> 00:21:45,894 he said that the sex between him and Nat 398 00:21:45,978 --> 00:21:47,270 is amazing. 399 00:21:47,355 --> 00:21:49,898 He said that it blows everything he's had in the past out the water. 400 00:21:49,982 --> 00:21:51,191 Out of the water! 401 00:21:51,275 --> 00:21:54,945 - Wow. That is tremendous news. - Tremendous news for him, 402 00:21:55,029 --> 00:21:56,321 - he's really pleased, yeah. - It's... Yeah. 403 00:21:57,782 --> 00:21:59,991 I suppose that's not really your thing, is it? Sex and sexiness. 404 00:22:00,159 --> 00:22:02,369 You're more... How would you describe yourself? 405 00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:05,665 Kind of "kind," do you know what I mean? Charitable. 406 00:22:07,334 --> 00:22:09,627 It's a shame, in a way, that they couldn't put... 407 00:22:09,711 --> 00:22:13,256 your brain in her body. D'you know what I mean? That would be amazing. 408 00:22:13,340 --> 00:22:15,299 Although what would you be left with? You'd be left with, like... 409 00:22:15,384 --> 00:22:16,635 Ooh, you'd be left with her brain in your body. 410 00:22:16,719 --> 00:22:19,763 Imagine that. Just rampaging around, out of control. 411 00:22:19,847 --> 00:22:22,182 "What's that? 412 00:22:22,267 --> 00:22:23,392 "Oh, my God, it's like Frankenstein, 413 00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:25,852 "but with, like, boobs." 414 00:22:25,937 --> 00:22:29,189 Villagers coming out with pitchforks and torches. "Kill it!" 415 00:22:30,024 --> 00:22:32,734 - It'd be just terrifying. - It would be terrifying. 416 00:22:32,819 --> 00:22:34,695 It would be horrible. 417 00:22:34,821 --> 00:22:37,531 No. Joking, joking. I'd do you. 418 00:22:38,701 --> 00:22:41,244 - If you wanted. You know. - Thank you. 419 00:22:41,328 --> 00:22:45,373 If I had to make a top-10 of women I know that I would do, 420 00:22:45,916 --> 00:22:47,500 you'd be in that list. 421 00:22:47,585 --> 00:22:49,586 Number seven. All right? 422 00:22:49,670 --> 00:22:51,504 - Thank you. Thanks, Danny. - Seriously. 423 00:22:52,548 --> 00:22:55,633 Do you want to get a drink sometime? Maybe pop out and get a drink sometime? 424 00:22:55,759 --> 00:22:57,678 Um, I... No. 425 00:22:57,762 --> 00:23:00,055 - Yeah? - No. 426 00:23:00,140 --> 00:23:01,599 You say no, I say yes. 427 00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:06,270 So, remember to play up our ethical credentials. 428 00:23:06,354 --> 00:23:08,022 Don't mention the BP campaign. 429 00:23:08,106 --> 00:23:11,233 And let's emphasise the online campaign we did for Greenpeace. 430 00:23:11,318 --> 00:23:12,484 Our job is to convince people 431 00:23:12,569 --> 00:23:14,654 his solvents won't render the planet a barren, lifeless husk 432 00:23:14,739 --> 00:23:17,198 - unfit for future generations. - Piece of piss. 433 00:23:17,283 --> 00:23:18,491 How are we gonna do that, then? 434 00:23:18,576 --> 00:23:20,410 Well, if he's a cheapskate like his dad, 435 00:23:20,536 --> 00:23:22,579 we suggest making the typeface green and yellow 436 00:23:22,663 --> 00:23:25,999 and sticking some sort of sunflower or butterfly on the logo. 437 00:23:26,083 --> 00:23:27,125 It's textbook. 438 00:23:27,543 --> 00:23:29,044 Depressingly, you could be right. 439 00:23:30,004 --> 00:23:32,380 I expect he'll be some sort of tasteless Yank, 440 00:23:32,465 --> 00:23:34,382 obsessed with how we're all so quaint, 441 00:23:34,467 --> 00:23:35,967 spell "colour" with a "u", 442 00:23:36,052 --> 00:23:39,764 worship Benny Hill and then say "awesome" a lot. 443 00:23:39,890 --> 00:23:42,308 Yeah. And he'll probably do that Austin Powers accent. 444 00:23:42,392 --> 00:23:43,809 You know the one. "Yeah, baby!" 445 00:23:45,020 --> 00:23:46,020 I didn't watch that film 446 00:23:46,104 --> 00:23:47,647 because it's absolutely not my cup of tea. 447 00:23:47,731 --> 00:23:50,484 And then plump for whatever turns out to be the cheapest option. 448 00:23:50,568 --> 00:23:51,610 That's my prediction. 449 00:23:53,821 --> 00:23:56,782 - You're not eating today? - There's a lot of mercury in that. 450 00:23:57,116 --> 00:23:58,367 Then why don't you get a fucking sandwich? 451 00:23:58,451 --> 00:24:00,035 I am gonna get a fucking sandwich, Clare, 452 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:01,203 but I'm not gonna have one with bread in it 453 00:24:01,287 --> 00:24:02,871 because I'm a coeliac. You know that. 454 00:24:03,665 --> 00:24:05,290 So I was thinking about your book. 455 00:24:05,375 --> 00:24:06,833 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 456 00:24:06,918 --> 00:24:10,462 I reckon that I prefer "Ezra" to "David" as a name. 457 00:24:11,047 --> 00:24:14,216 There was a David at school who, if you paid him 50 cents, 458 00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:16,051 was prepared to lick anything. 459 00:24:16,135 --> 00:24:18,137 - Literally anything. - Let's talk about it over dinner 460 00:24:18,222 --> 00:24:21,057 because Nat's out tonight, another work thing. 461 00:24:21,100 --> 00:24:22,558 I'm starving. 462 00:24:23,435 --> 00:24:25,229 I mean, obviously, it's all relative. 463 00:24:25,313 --> 00:24:26,647 I feel their plight. 464 00:24:26,731 --> 00:24:28,524 I only had a Kinder Bueno for lunch. 465 00:24:28,608 --> 00:24:30,901 Mmm, I can't tonight. I'm going out with Charlie. 466 00:24:31,194 --> 00:24:34,113 What, again? That's the third time in two weeks. 467 00:24:34,322 --> 00:24:36,073 You're counting? 468 00:24:36,116 --> 00:24:37,366 Sorry to interrupt. 469 00:24:37,450 --> 00:24:38,992 Those articles you wanted from this morning. 470 00:24:39,077 --> 00:24:40,786 - Thanks. - Thank you. 471 00:24:42,288 --> 00:24:44,039 So, what, am I just supposed to stay home 472 00:24:44,124 --> 00:24:45,541 in the hopes you've got a free night? 473 00:24:45,625 --> 00:24:46,875 No. 474 00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:48,711 I just don't want to see you getting hurt, that's all. 475 00:24:52,173 --> 00:24:53,590 Is that him? 476 00:24:53,842 --> 00:24:54,967 Yeah. 477 00:24:55,051 --> 00:24:58,054 Well, I see someone managed to find a Burger King out in Sudan. 478 00:25:06,732 --> 00:25:08,524 I've just seen Guy Harrap in reception! 479 00:25:08,608 --> 00:25:11,110 And I would jump on him like a bouncy castle. 480 00:25:11,194 --> 00:25:12,653 Remember to take off your shoes, and no somersaults. 481 00:25:12,738 --> 00:25:14,238 - I need your ring. - What? 482 00:25:14,322 --> 00:25:15,906 - We really need this account. - Are you on drugs? 483 00:25:16,032 --> 00:25:18,284 Come on, it's not like you're gonna jump into bed with the man. 484 00:25:18,368 --> 00:25:19,618 Clare! 485 00:25:19,703 --> 00:25:20,786 What's up? 486 00:25:21,872 --> 00:25:23,497 - Guy Harrap. - Hello. 487 00:25:23,582 --> 00:25:24,665 Who we got here? 488 00:25:25,041 --> 00:25:27,084 Natasha Redfearn, Accounts Director. 489 00:25:27,169 --> 00:25:28,169 - Sweet. - Hi. 490 00:25:28,253 --> 00:25:29,920 Is there anything we can offer you? 491 00:25:30,005 --> 00:25:33,007 Hot diggity dog, I love the way you say that. 492 00:25:33,091 --> 00:25:34,759 Huh? The way she says that? "Offer"? 493 00:25:34,843 --> 00:25:36,344 Off... Can you say that again? 494 00:25:36,429 --> 00:25:37,971 - Oh... - "Offer" me. 495 00:25:38,390 --> 00:25:39,599 Um, offer. 496 00:25:39,683 --> 00:25:41,225 There it is. There it is. 497 00:25:41,310 --> 00:25:42,393 - Here, give me some of that. - Oh. 498 00:25:42,478 --> 00:25:44,437 - All right. Pound it. - Yes. Oh. 499 00:25:44,897 --> 00:25:47,398 I got an idea. Let's sit down, let's talk some business. Huh? 500 00:25:48,066 --> 00:25:50,777 Mr Harrap, we're delighted that you've come to us 501 00:25:50,861 --> 00:25:52,445 to take Harraps Solvents forward 502 00:25:52,571 --> 00:25:55,573 and rebrand in the fresh challenges presented by the new media climate. 503 00:25:55,949 --> 00:25:58,451 Awesome. Totally awesome. Bingo, huh? 504 00:25:59,953 --> 00:26:02,038 We're very pleased with some of the concepts 505 00:26:02,122 --> 00:26:03,873 we've come up with for the new incarnation of Harraps. 506 00:26:03,957 --> 00:26:07,668 Yeah, as long as you don't fob me off with some yellow-and-green font. 507 00:26:08,295 --> 00:26:10,505 I mean, how many times have we seen that, right? 508 00:26:10,589 --> 00:26:12,049 Yes, exactly. No. 509 00:26:12,342 --> 00:26:13,550 Too many! Far... 510 00:26:13,635 --> 00:26:16,553 What we were pla... What we were thinking is to take... 511 00:26:18,556 --> 00:26:21,100 - a holistic approach... - Mmm-hmm. 512 00:26:21,977 --> 00:26:26,064 ...focusing on the core brand values of integrity... 513 00:26:26,148 --> 00:26:27,190 Integrity. 514 00:26:27,691 --> 00:26:28,942 Got it. Thank you. 515 00:26:29,068 --> 00:26:30,819 ...responsibility... 516 00:26:36,575 --> 00:26:38,409 - that epitomise... - Mmm. 517 00:26:38,577 --> 00:26:40,745 ...what Harraps stands for. 518 00:26:40,830 --> 00:26:42,831 Harraps. That's very good. 519 00:26:46,126 --> 00:26:50,464 Well, to be honest, at Oxford, my economics professor 520 00:26:50,549 --> 00:26:53,300 favoured a fully integrated four-quadrant strategy 521 00:26:53,426 --> 00:26:55,761 cohesive across all media, 522 00:26:55,846 --> 00:26:58,013 presenting an instantly accessible, 523 00:26:58,098 --> 00:27:00,851 aesthetic, philosophical and commercial identity 524 00:27:00,935 --> 00:27:04,312 consistent with an ethical contemporary market leader 525 00:27:04,397 --> 00:27:08,316 whilst embracing its legacy of integrity. 526 00:27:08,484 --> 00:27:09,526 Yeah, baby! 527 00:27:09,610 --> 00:27:11,278 That's Austin Powers. 528 00:27:12,405 --> 00:27:14,281 I love that film. 529 00:27:14,448 --> 00:27:17,117 - I'm so sorry, I just... - I know. 530 00:27:17,201 --> 00:27:22,080 You thought I was a tasteless Yank obsessed with how quaint you all are. 531 00:27:22,164 --> 00:27:24,250 That's so quaint. 532 00:27:24,334 --> 00:27:26,460 It's incredibly embarrassing. 533 00:27:26,545 --> 00:27:28,671 But we have plenty of other proposals to show you. 534 00:27:28,755 --> 00:27:32,133 No, I don't need to see them. These things aren't done in boardrooms. 535 00:27:32,801 --> 00:27:35,386 We should get to know each other, Miss Redfearn. 536 00:27:35,470 --> 00:27:37,805 A holistic approach, as you say. 537 00:27:40,268 --> 00:27:42,185 Well, agreed, but, uh, 538 00:27:42,270 --> 00:27:45,439 but from the outset, you should know that I've just got, um... 539 00:27:52,405 --> 00:27:55,824 another account that I have to focus on for the next few days. 540 00:27:56,284 --> 00:27:57,951 - It's been a pleasure. - Thanks. 541 00:27:58,287 --> 00:28:00,288 - I'm so sorry again for the... - No, please. 542 00:28:00,372 --> 00:28:03,708 Bye. 543 00:28:14,094 --> 00:28:18,765 When we first met, I just thought Josh was exactly what I needed. 544 00:28:18,849 --> 00:28:20,351 You know, I felt... 545 00:28:20,435 --> 00:28:23,228 so safe, and then... 546 00:28:26,107 --> 00:28:27,358 I think what she's trying to say is, 547 00:28:27,442 --> 00:28:29,401 is that the everyday reality of marriage 548 00:28:29,486 --> 00:28:31,403 started to overtake the fairytale, 549 00:28:31,488 --> 00:28:33,781 - the fantasy, right? - Ooh, hark at you. 550 00:28:34,075 --> 00:28:36,534 Somebody swallowed a copy of Eat, Pray, Love. 551 00:28:36,827 --> 00:28:39,788 No, I think as... we... 552 00:28:41,415 --> 00:28:43,041 I'm gonna have to take this. 553 00:28:44,251 --> 00:28:45,293 Yep, fine, I'm in a session. 554 00:28:47,129 --> 00:28:49,047 Can't you pick them up? 555 00:28:49,882 --> 00:28:51,257 Give me two minutes. 556 00:28:51,342 --> 00:28:53,718 Talk about your feelings or your father or something. 557 00:29:04,564 --> 00:29:07,233 Coming up on Cash in the Attic, 558 00:29:07,317 --> 00:29:10,195 a delightful silver brooch made by a celebrated war hero. 559 00:29:10,989 --> 00:29:12,572 The bin's full. 560 00:29:13,282 --> 00:29:14,866 - Can you take it out? - Yeah. 561 00:29:15,368 --> 00:29:18,036 The One Tree Hill omnibus is about to start. 562 00:29:18,121 --> 00:29:21,123 Lauren's about to tell Jake that baby Connor's not his. 563 00:29:27,422 --> 00:29:31,758 Oh, Christ. Your husband is so adorable. 564 00:29:36,014 --> 00:29:38,140 Yes. He really is. 565 00:29:38,224 --> 00:29:40,100 So ostentatious. 566 00:29:43,022 --> 00:29:44,564 Have you seen my phone? 567 00:29:44,648 --> 00:29:46,942 No. When did you last have it? 568 00:29:47,068 --> 00:29:49,153 Well, if I knew that, it wouldn't be lost, would it? 569 00:29:49,237 --> 00:29:51,155 That's the point of something being lost. 570 00:29:54,117 --> 00:29:55,617 You're always here. 571 00:29:56,453 --> 00:29:58,370 Why are you always here? 572 00:30:02,667 --> 00:30:04,960 Come and have a look at this video of a monkey fucking a bullfrog. 573 00:30:06,963 --> 00:30:08,505 He's killed it! 574 00:30:09,424 --> 00:30:10,799 He's killed it by fucking it! 575 00:30:31,073 --> 00:30:33,491 Seriously, Nat. Seriously, hang on a sec. 576 00:30:33,575 --> 00:30:35,951 Why do you never get the words to a song right? 577 00:30:37,662 --> 00:30:38,913 Does it really matter? 578 00:30:38,997 --> 00:30:41,749 What, "I've travelled the world in generic jeans"? 579 00:30:41,833 --> 00:30:43,501 Really? Come on. 580 00:30:44,127 --> 00:30:47,338 I was just singing. Didn't realise it was so important. 581 00:30:47,464 --> 00:30:49,298 Do you really think that Annie Lennox is singing about 582 00:30:49,382 --> 00:30:51,926 whether she happened to travel the world in Levis or Wranglers? 583 00:30:54,096 --> 00:30:55,763 Okay. Wow. 584 00:30:58,392 --> 00:31:00,268 And while we're at it, Elton John isn't singing, 585 00:31:00,353 --> 00:31:02,605 "Hold me close and tie me down, sir." 586 00:31:02,689 --> 00:31:05,900 Kurt Cobain isn't singing, "Here we are now in containers." 587 00:31:05,984 --> 00:31:09,195 If you can't sing it right, don't sing at all. It's idiotic. 588 00:31:10,030 --> 00:31:12,240 Says the man dressed as a pea. 589 00:31:20,249 --> 00:31:24,085 I can't believe we're having the same fucking row! 590 00:31:25,129 --> 00:31:28,214 Oh! Not listening! Not listening! Not listening! 591 00:31:28,882 --> 00:31:30,258 No! Fuck you! 592 00:31:30,342 --> 00:31:34,304 Oh, my God, you're such an arsehole! 593 00:31:34,389 --> 00:31:36,640 Yes, you are! You are such a cock-sucking, 594 00:31:36,724 --> 00:31:39,226 shit-stabbing, fucking arsehole! 595 00:31:39,310 --> 00:31:43,273 I could just fucking stab you right in the eyes! 596 00:31:44,233 --> 00:31:46,109 What the fuck are you looking at? 597 00:31:46,193 --> 00:31:47,819 You could do with a fuck! 598 00:31:48,362 --> 00:31:50,196 No, not you! Nobody wants to fuck you! 599 00:31:50,281 --> 00:31:52,615 You fucking frigid arsehole! 600 00:31:53,075 --> 00:31:54,742 Yeah, fuck you! 601 00:31:59,290 --> 00:32:00,623 So, here we are. 602 00:32:01,208 --> 00:32:03,418 The hub of the Harraps empire. 603 00:32:04,753 --> 00:32:06,087 What do you think? 604 00:32:06,547 --> 00:32:08,799 Hopefully, you can see why I wanted you to check this place out. 605 00:32:08,925 --> 00:32:13,721 It's state-of-the-art and responsible for a turnover last year of 37 million. 606 00:32:13,763 --> 00:32:19,560 If you squirted air from a large space into a slightly smaller space last year, 607 00:32:19,603 --> 00:32:22,605 chances are you did it through one of these. 608 00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:25,442 Every time I squirt out a little bit of air, 609 00:32:25,484 --> 00:32:27,152 I'll think of you. 610 00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:32,282 That sounded weird, but you know what I mean. 611 00:32:32,950 --> 00:32:34,618 Yeah, sure. 612 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,915 There's someone I want you to meet. 613 00:32:39,957 --> 00:32:43,461 Janet's been working here for, what, 42 years? 614 00:32:43,587 --> 00:32:45,755 Forty-three in June. Hello. 615 00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:49,967 Yep, my grandfather exploited her, my father exploited her, 616 00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:51,135 now I get to exploit her. 617 00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:54,764 He's a good lad, this one. He takes care of us. 618 00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:57,975 You won't find anybody here with a bad word to say about him. 619 00:32:58,101 --> 00:32:59,143 Except Sarah. 620 00:32:59,770 --> 00:33:01,979 But she's a proper shithouse. 621 00:33:02,189 --> 00:33:03,272 Really? 622 00:33:03,523 --> 00:33:06,151 He just needs to settle down, start a family. 623 00:33:06,444 --> 00:33:08,153 So, what do you think? 624 00:33:08,321 --> 00:33:09,988 - Wife material? - Definitely. 625 00:33:10,156 --> 00:33:11,448 Better than the last one. 626 00:33:11,491 --> 00:33:12,991 You should see some of the... 627 00:33:13,117 --> 00:33:14,785 Yeah, I could dock your wages for insubordination. 628 00:33:14,827 --> 00:33:16,119 Get back to work. 629 00:33:16,162 --> 00:33:20,166 Clostridium acetobutylicum doesn't acidogenically ferment itself. 630 00:33:24,004 --> 00:33:26,631 It looks like you've got the Janet seal of approval. 631 00:33:26,674 --> 00:33:28,883 I'm not sure I'm the marrying type. 632 00:33:29,051 --> 00:33:32,345 You realise you'd be the heir to a solvents fortune. 633 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,138 And that's not to be sniffed at. 634 00:33:34,181 --> 00:33:36,349 Literally, it could result in convulsions, 635 00:33:36,392 --> 00:33:37,809 coma, severe brain damage, 636 00:33:37,851 --> 00:33:39,560 and in some cases, mental retardation. 637 00:33:41,397 --> 00:33:44,858 They do all seem remarkably happy here. Is it the fumes? 638 00:33:45,902 --> 00:33:48,237 These people, they're like family to me. 639 00:33:48,363 --> 00:33:50,197 I've grown up on this factory floor. 640 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,825 I spent every summer here since I was two. 641 00:33:53,410 --> 00:33:57,038 If you're good to people, people will be good to you. 642 00:33:57,873 --> 00:34:01,376 It's what my dad taught me. It's what I want to teach my kids. 643 00:34:03,170 --> 00:34:05,005 And I want to end all wars and cure cancer. 644 00:34:43,254 --> 00:34:45,589 - All right? - Yeah. What? 645 00:34:46,090 --> 00:34:48,759 You really... You don't have to come tonight if you don't want to. 646 00:34:48,885 --> 00:34:50,594 No, I want to be there. Your husband should support you. 647 00:34:51,429 --> 00:34:52,429 You look incredible. 648 00:34:52,472 --> 00:34:53,972 I warn you, you'll be bored to tears 649 00:34:54,098 --> 00:34:56,099 'cause I'm gonna have to network all night. 650 00:34:56,142 --> 00:34:58,060 That's the cab. Seriously. 651 00:34:59,270 --> 00:35:01,646 - Last chance to bail. - No, I want to go. I love a party. 652 00:35:01,773 --> 00:35:03,815 Uh, will I need a coat? Is it cold out? 653 00:35:03,941 --> 00:35:05,444 Why do you always ask me that? 654 00:35:05,779 --> 00:35:08,280 How should I know if you need a coat? 655 00:35:08,406 --> 00:35:10,991 I've been outside today, you've been outside today. 656 00:35:11,117 --> 00:35:15,079 I have precisely the same amount of meteorological information as you do. 657 00:35:20,752 --> 00:35:21,960 Josh! 658 00:35:30,261 --> 00:35:33,138 I wouldn't want to be stuck behind him going through airport security. 659 00:35:42,024 --> 00:35:44,984 Because it's all metal. 660 00:35:45,486 --> 00:35:47,321 He's so funny, your husband. You've got a good one there. 661 00:35:47,364 --> 00:35:48,656 Thanks, that's sweet. 662 00:35:50,867 --> 00:35:53,369 Why don't you, um, go and mingle? 663 00:35:53,495 --> 00:35:54,787 There's a band upstairs. 664 00:35:55,288 --> 00:35:57,832 No, I think I'm gonna stay here. But you go, mingle, enjoy yourself. 665 00:35:59,668 --> 00:36:02,336 Are you staying here because you think you have a good joke about that photo? 666 00:36:03,296 --> 00:36:04,338 What? 667 00:36:05,507 --> 00:36:06,507 You are! 668 00:36:07,008 --> 00:36:09,510 You're staying here so you can say that joke about the photo. 669 00:36:09,553 --> 00:36:11,846 It's a good joke. I actually have a couple. 670 00:36:11,972 --> 00:36:13,889 Wouldn't want to be behind him going through airport security. 671 00:36:16,184 --> 00:36:17,894 At least, if you went out with him, 672 00:36:18,020 --> 00:36:19,563 you'd always have a little place to hang your coat. 673 00:36:21,691 --> 00:36:23,066 I'm Josh Moss. Nice to meet you. 674 00:36:23,192 --> 00:36:24,818 - Hi. - Ooh! She's gone. 675 00:36:26,572 --> 00:36:28,698 You could put your keys on there, couldn't you? 676 00:36:30,868 --> 00:36:34,704 I think that's just what happens when you sleep next to an open sewer. 677 00:36:35,038 --> 00:36:37,999 Had amoebic dysentery. Twice. 678 00:36:38,250 --> 00:36:39,375 In Rwanda at one point, 679 00:36:39,418 --> 00:36:42,378 I was actually defecating pieces of my colon. 680 00:36:52,765 --> 00:36:53,891 Miss Redfearn. 681 00:36:55,518 --> 00:36:56,685 Guy! 682 00:36:58,354 --> 00:37:00,772 Lovely to see you. I er... I didn't realise you were here. 683 00:37:00,899 --> 00:37:03,025 You know, it's actually good that I ran into you 684 00:37:03,067 --> 00:37:05,068 because I was thinking about some of those community outreach... 685 00:37:05,195 --> 00:37:07,071 Could we take one night off from talking shop? 686 00:37:07,907 --> 00:37:10,950 Am I allowed to say you're looking incredible? 687 00:37:11,076 --> 00:37:12,702 Technically, no. 688 00:37:12,745 --> 00:37:14,412 That would constitute sexual harassment. 689 00:37:14,538 --> 00:37:17,707 You're right. The rules and regulations on that are very strict these days. 690 00:37:17,750 --> 00:37:22,462 I actually have a copy of the Sexual Discrimination Act 2007 in my hotel room 691 00:37:22,588 --> 00:37:24,047 if you'd like to come back and peruse it. 692 00:37:25,549 --> 00:37:27,927 Although Christmas parties don't really count. 693 00:37:29,763 --> 00:37:31,597 They're an opportunity to tell the person 694 00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,140 you've had a secret crush on all year 695 00:37:33,266 --> 00:37:36,101 how you really feel about them. 696 00:37:38,813 --> 00:37:40,773 Aren't they? 697 00:37:41,274 --> 00:37:42,775 Are they? 698 00:37:42,817 --> 00:37:44,485 Of course. 699 00:37:44,611 --> 00:37:47,822 I think protocol and decorum go right out the window. 700 00:37:48,616 --> 00:37:49,824 I mean, look at that guy. 701 00:37:51,410 --> 00:37:52,452 That is embarrassing. 702 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:54,287 Who is he? 703 00:37:54,413 --> 00:37:55,997 Leave him alone, he's just had a few. 704 00:37:56,123 --> 00:37:57,916 Hang on. He's attempting the Beyoncé booty shake. 705 00:37:57,959 --> 00:38:01,419 Either that or he's being sodomised by the Invisible Man. 706 00:38:01,462 --> 00:38:03,839 Oh, he's just had a few too many cocktails. 707 00:38:03,966 --> 00:38:05,341 He's wasted. 708 00:38:06,093 --> 00:38:08,469 - Having a good time. - Yeah, sure is. 709 00:38:11,682 --> 00:38:13,474 Oi, oi! 710 00:38:14,643 --> 00:38:17,603 Hold on. Look out, here comes twinkle toes. 711 00:38:17,646 --> 00:38:19,188 He's making a beeline. 712 00:38:19,314 --> 00:38:21,107 I got your back, I'll just say I'm your boyfriend. 713 00:38:21,149 --> 00:38:22,275 - No, you don't have to do that. - It's fine. 714 00:38:24,528 --> 00:38:26,821 This party's amazing. So much fun. 715 00:38:27,489 --> 00:38:29,992 Guy Harrap. Pleased to meet you. 716 00:38:30,785 --> 00:38:34,663 Oh! The solvents guy! 717 00:38:35,164 --> 00:38:37,833 How are you? Nice to meet you. He's so handsome, isn't he? 718 00:38:40,713 --> 00:38:42,380 Whoo! 719 00:38:42,506 --> 00:38:44,340 Bollocks. 720 00:38:46,385 --> 00:38:47,677 Sorry. 721 00:38:48,012 --> 00:38:49,178 Come on! 722 00:38:49,722 --> 00:38:50,722 Is that... 723 00:38:50,848 --> 00:38:52,724 Yeah, I suppose that's what office parties are for, huh? 724 00:38:52,850 --> 00:38:54,058 That's hilarious! 725 00:38:54,184 --> 00:38:56,853 Free booze and a chance to make out with the boss. 726 00:38:57,187 --> 00:38:58,521 Well, I'm technically self-employed, 727 00:38:58,647 --> 00:39:01,858 so I'll just have to settle for a can of Budweiser and a wank. 728 00:39:02,359 --> 00:39:03,401 Charming. 729 00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:06,571 Can I ask the sexiest woman in the room for a dance? 730 00:39:06,697 --> 00:39:07,739 Listen, I... 731 00:39:07,865 --> 00:39:10,492 We're actually talking business. So, maybe later. 732 00:39:14,498 --> 00:39:16,708 Shouldn't you be busting a move? 733 00:39:30,848 --> 00:39:32,724 You almost have to admire him for giving it a go. 734 00:39:32,767 --> 00:39:34,351 You owe me one. 735 00:39:35,603 --> 00:39:37,562 How about we make our excuses? 736 00:39:37,605 --> 00:39:39,272 I have a table on hold at Nobu. 737 00:39:39,398 --> 00:39:41,399 No, I can't, I've a... 738 00:39:42,068 --> 00:39:44,361 I should go. I think I need some fresh air. 739 00:39:44,737 --> 00:39:46,071 Sure. 740 00:39:47,573 --> 00:39:49,617 Hang on, I'm swapping hands. 741 00:39:51,079 --> 00:39:55,957 So, you had an extra naan and two glasses of wine, 742 00:39:56,084 --> 00:39:58,293 so you owe an extra four pounds. 743 00:39:58,419 --> 00:39:59,753 Drew... 744 00:39:59,879 --> 00:40:02,589 ...you had the mango lassi, so that's an extra three pounds. 745 00:40:03,257 --> 00:40:06,927 I swear, the mass graves in Mogadishu weren't as awful as this. 746 00:40:07,095 --> 00:40:08,595 Do you want to bail? 747 00:40:08,971 --> 00:40:10,597 Did you have the chicken jalfrezi? 748 00:40:10,932 --> 00:40:12,432 I want to stay. It's fun. 749 00:40:12,558 --> 00:40:14,726 No, I've said hello to everybody I need to. 750 00:40:14,769 --> 00:40:16,728 It's just gonna get messy and it's no fun being a spectator. 751 00:40:16,771 --> 00:40:19,648 I wouldn't like to be stood behind him at airport security. 752 00:40:19,774 --> 00:40:22,442 That was my joke! He stole it! 753 00:40:22,568 --> 00:40:24,277 He's taking credit for my humour. Should I say something? 754 00:40:24,404 --> 00:40:25,780 Jesus, Josh! 755 00:40:26,615 --> 00:40:28,408 When did you turn into such a prat? 756 00:40:29,076 --> 00:40:32,788 Stay. Dance like a fucking idiot, tell your stupid jokes. I'm going home. 757 00:40:34,457 --> 00:40:36,959 That hoop in his ear, he could hang his house keys on it. 758 00:40:47,470 --> 00:40:49,179 God, you are so sexy. 759 00:40:50,473 --> 00:40:51,974 You're so sexy. 760 00:40:52,100 --> 00:40:53,308 Thanks. 761 00:40:58,857 --> 00:41:01,985 Hey, that's it, honey, slide in, room for one more. Huh? 762 00:41:02,153 --> 00:41:04,279 Hey, Alexandra. 763 00:41:07,324 --> 00:41:08,491 You look really nice. 764 00:41:09,994 --> 00:41:12,037 Different from work. 765 00:41:12,289 --> 00:41:15,374 Do you two want to have a little hello kiss? 766 00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:17,376 - Um, hello. - That's it. 767 00:41:18,295 --> 00:41:19,378 Hi. 768 00:41:19,838 --> 00:41:20,880 Mmm, that's it. 769 00:41:21,173 --> 00:41:24,383 Did you guys like that dinner tonight? 770 00:41:25,552 --> 00:41:28,387 Did you go for the rice or the naan? 771 00:41:29,347 --> 00:41:30,514 I went for the naan. 772 00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,016 Yeah? Mmm! 773 00:41:32,142 --> 00:41:34,018 You are so naughty. 774 00:41:34,352 --> 00:41:36,312 Why are you so naughty? 775 00:41:36,354 --> 00:41:39,649 I don't know, Charlie, why is that? 776 00:41:39,692 --> 00:41:42,027 Did your mom smoke during her pregnancy? 777 00:41:43,696 --> 00:41:45,530 Oh, okay. 778 00:41:46,157 --> 00:41:47,407 All right. 779 00:41:47,533 --> 00:41:49,659 That's it. Yeah, I like that. 780 00:41:50,328 --> 00:41:51,662 Threesome. We're going to have a threesome. 781 00:41:51,705 --> 00:41:52,914 We're having a threesome. 782 00:41:53,749 --> 00:41:55,041 Let's go. 783 00:41:55,667 --> 00:41:58,211 - Chloe's climbing aboard. - That's it. 784 00:41:58,921 --> 00:42:01,714 Here we go. Oh, yeah. 785 00:42:01,882 --> 00:42:04,175 Oh! Oh, yeah. 786 00:42:04,218 --> 00:42:05,927 Chloe's on top now. 787 00:42:06,053 --> 00:42:07,428 The cherry on top. 788 00:42:07,554 --> 00:42:08,888 Oh, yeah. 789 00:42:09,014 --> 00:42:11,432 Oh, yeah. Now she's on the bottom. 790 00:42:11,892 --> 00:42:14,269 Chloe loves being on bottom. 791 00:42:14,395 --> 00:42:15,395 Oh, yes. 792 00:42:15,855 --> 00:42:19,066 Yes, squeeze my breast. That feels amazing. 793 00:42:19,192 --> 00:42:20,567 Não para, Charlie. 794 00:42:21,069 --> 00:42:22,402 Yeah, Charlie, 795 00:42:22,529 --> 00:42:24,738 I can speak another language as well. 796 00:42:24,864 --> 00:42:26,532 Me Ilamo Chloe, Charlie. 797 00:42:27,784 --> 00:42:30,244 Yo tengo un hermano! 798 00:42:31,539 --> 00:42:32,914 - That's it. - Okay. 799 00:42:32,957 --> 00:42:34,374 Okay. Yeah, that's it. 800 00:42:34,416 --> 00:42:35,959 Chloe's in the middle now. 801 00:42:36,961 --> 00:42:38,253 Okay. 802 00:42:38,379 --> 00:42:41,422 Oh, yes. It feels amazing, doesn't it? 803 00:42:41,465 --> 00:42:43,216 Feels so good. 804 00:42:46,971 --> 00:42:49,765 God, you're strong, Alexandra. 805 00:42:50,892 --> 00:42:51,892 Yes. 806 00:42:54,229 --> 00:42:55,229 Down here again. 807 00:42:56,273 --> 00:42:59,316 Oh, yeah, put your fingers in my mouth. I love that. 808 00:43:00,610 --> 00:43:03,946 Especially after Indian. It's amazing. 809 00:43:04,406 --> 00:43:05,614 Excuse me. 810 00:43:05,949 --> 00:43:07,616 Excuse me. No! 811 00:43:08,326 --> 00:43:10,244 All right. Enough! 812 00:43:10,787 --> 00:43:12,497 I am leaving! 813 00:43:13,082 --> 00:43:15,083 You people, you're sick! 814 00:43:20,756 --> 00:43:22,132 I actually forgot my skirt. 815 00:43:22,258 --> 00:43:24,135 I'm sorry. 816 00:43:30,142 --> 00:43:32,643 Okay, thanks. Thanks, everybody. 817 00:43:33,979 --> 00:43:37,023 And FYI, you both still have your underwear on. 818 00:44:16,523 --> 00:44:20,026 Hey, it's Chloe. I really need to speak to you. 819 00:44:27,534 --> 00:44:29,369 - Hey. - Hi, it's me. 820 00:44:30,037 --> 00:44:32,664 I demand you let me in. I've got coffee 821 00:44:32,707 --> 00:44:34,041 and a bag of those little sweets you like 822 00:44:34,167 --> 00:44:35,669 that look like mini fried eggs. 823 00:44:39,715 --> 00:44:43,093 It was humiliating, degrading. 824 00:44:45,012 --> 00:44:48,014 I don't even know how I got myself into that position. 825 00:44:48,057 --> 00:44:50,433 I am not a threesome person. 826 00:44:51,352 --> 00:44:53,603 I don't know what bits to touch when. 827 00:44:53,729 --> 00:44:55,355 Listen, fuck him. 828 00:44:56,065 --> 00:44:57,565 If he doesn't realise how amazing you are, 829 00:44:57,692 --> 00:44:58,733 then he's an idiot. 830 00:45:00,027 --> 00:45:01,778 - He doesn't deserve you. - Yeah, right. 831 00:45:01,904 --> 00:45:03,113 I mean, look at me. 832 00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:05,365 I'm in a rented flat 833 00:45:05,408 --> 00:45:09,577 wearing a SpongeBob SquarePants dressing gown, 834 00:45:09,620 --> 00:45:11,872 eating a mixture of animal fat and sugar 835 00:45:11,915 --> 00:45:14,209 made to look like a fried egg. 836 00:45:15,253 --> 00:45:16,253 I'm 32 years old. 837 00:45:16,629 --> 00:45:20,090 Yeah, and you've spent your whole life doing things 838 00:45:20,216 --> 00:45:23,802 which make everybody else look shallow, trivial and pointless. 839 00:45:24,470 --> 00:45:26,763 I think it's slightly more important to be able to limit 840 00:45:26,806 --> 00:45:28,640 the spread of an epidemic 841 00:45:29,434 --> 00:45:31,393 than know how to conduct yourself in a threesome. 842 00:45:33,062 --> 00:45:34,104 You do? 843 00:45:34,272 --> 00:45:37,315 I mean, for the purposes of this conversation, sure. 844 00:45:43,948 --> 00:45:47,660 Honestly, I just want someone to look after me for a change. 845 00:45:48,078 --> 00:45:49,245 Well, I'll look after you. 846 00:45:51,081 --> 00:45:52,123 You can't. 847 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,419 You've already got someone to look after. 848 00:46:07,599 --> 00:46:11,268 Listen, I'm completely all right. 849 00:46:12,479 --> 00:46:14,646 I promise not to end it all. 850 00:46:15,148 --> 00:46:17,941 I don't even own a razor. I wax. 851 00:46:18,943 --> 00:46:20,819 I think it's pretty hard to wax yourself to death. 852 00:46:24,366 --> 00:46:26,534 You can leave. I'm okay. 853 00:46:26,660 --> 00:46:28,369 No, it's all right. 854 00:46:29,288 --> 00:46:31,956 I'm putting off my Christmas shopping. 855 00:46:33,375 --> 00:46:35,795 I'm trying to figure out what to buy Nat. 856 00:46:37,798 --> 00:46:39,173 What does she like? 857 00:46:39,966 --> 00:46:41,050 I've no idea. 858 00:46:42,677 --> 00:46:45,471 I was thinking casserole dishes, maybe. 859 00:46:46,723 --> 00:46:50,017 I simply cannot let you get your new wife 860 00:46:50,143 --> 00:46:51,811 - casserole dishes for Christmas. - Why? 861 00:46:51,853 --> 00:46:53,020 I mean... 862 00:46:54,147 --> 00:46:55,856 - Let me help you out. - A griddle pan. 863 00:46:55,982 --> 00:46:57,192 - No! - A set of knives. 864 00:46:57,235 --> 00:46:59,820 Enough. I'm gonna go and get changed. 865 00:47:05,660 --> 00:47:06,910 Thanks, Josh. 866 00:47:07,537 --> 00:47:08,870 Ah, it's all right. 867 00:47:16,046 --> 00:47:17,880 Excuse me. Thank you. 868 00:47:21,635 --> 00:47:23,010 - Hey. - Hello. 869 00:47:25,139 --> 00:47:27,014 - You okay? - Mmm-hmm. Can I ask... 870 00:47:27,516 --> 00:47:28,850 why we're meeting in your hotel? 871 00:47:28,892 --> 00:47:30,810 You do know I'm not going up to your room, don't you? 872 00:47:31,353 --> 00:47:34,523 Oh! No, of course not. Purely business. 873 00:47:34,732 --> 00:47:36,567 No sexual tension whatsoever. 874 00:47:36,651 --> 00:47:40,195 No undercurrent of erotic electricity 875 00:47:40,238 --> 00:47:43,240 between two ludicrously attractive single people. 876 00:47:43,575 --> 00:47:45,993 None. Absolutely not. 877 00:47:46,411 --> 00:47:47,744 Good. 878 00:47:47,871 --> 00:47:49,746 It's your time you're paying for. 879 00:47:49,831 --> 00:47:52,374 So, we need to lock down a date for the website. 880 00:47:52,417 --> 00:47:55,252 It's just there are some tiny kittens up in my room 881 00:47:55,379 --> 00:47:57,881 playing adorably with a ball of wool. 882 00:47:58,257 --> 00:48:00,925 - If you're interested. - Cat faeces makes you go blind. 883 00:48:01,051 --> 00:48:04,095 - I'm not going to your room. - Okay. You win. 884 00:48:04,221 --> 00:48:08,684 We'll work and completely ignore the palpable sizzle of sensual possibility 885 00:48:08,768 --> 00:48:10,853 every time our bodies accidentally touch. 886 00:48:13,273 --> 00:48:15,608 I've booked a boardroom down the hall. 887 00:48:16,443 --> 00:48:17,568 Shall we? 888 00:48:18,028 --> 00:48:19,904 Yeah, basically, I'm looking for something for my wife. 889 00:48:19,946 --> 00:48:23,282 You know, pair of pants and a brassiere, perhaps. 890 00:48:23,366 --> 00:48:27,119 Something that's long-lasting and practical. 891 00:48:27,787 --> 00:48:29,788 Goodness, is that man-made fibre? 892 00:48:29,915 --> 00:48:32,541 Or is it, um, natural? 893 00:48:32,626 --> 00:48:35,461 Or is it a mixture of the two? Because that's often the way these days. 894 00:48:35,587 --> 00:48:37,797 Helps with, um, durability and so on. 895 00:48:37,924 --> 00:48:39,466 I mean, that's a lovely bit of kit. Look at that. 896 00:48:39,592 --> 00:48:41,259 That's a formidable gusset. You could not break that. 897 00:48:41,302 --> 00:48:44,138 - Were you looking for a panty? - Christ. Am I... 898 00:48:45,807 --> 00:48:46,891 A panty. 899 00:48:46,975 --> 00:48:48,643 Uh... 900 00:48:48,894 --> 00:48:50,561 He has trouble with the word "panty", I think. 901 00:48:50,646 --> 00:48:53,397 No, I don't. "Panty." I'm looking for a panty, mon chéri. 902 00:48:53,482 --> 00:48:56,275 A portion of your finest panties, milord. 903 00:48:57,277 --> 00:49:00,321 Right. Um, perhaps I should just ask you. 904 00:49:00,447 --> 00:49:01,656 After all, you are standing right here. 905 00:49:03,450 --> 00:49:05,826 Oh, God, no, no, no. I'm not his wife. 906 00:49:06,119 --> 00:49:08,329 - No way. - I'm just helping out, 907 00:49:08,455 --> 00:49:10,998 making sure he doesn't buy his actual wife vouchers. 908 00:49:11,124 --> 00:49:12,250 Well, you can't actually go wrong with vouchers. 909 00:49:12,334 --> 00:49:14,001 Christ, is that really the price? 910 00:49:16,506 --> 00:49:18,590 I could buy half an 18-litre dehumidifier for that. 911 00:49:18,675 --> 00:49:20,260 - Sir. - Yes. 912 00:49:20,344 --> 00:49:22,262 We like to celebrate the erotic here. 913 00:49:22,346 --> 00:49:24,806 Celebrate. "One-nil. Oy-oy! I scored a goal." 914 00:49:24,848 --> 00:49:26,683 - You don't need to be ashamed. - I'm not ashamed of anything. 915 00:49:26,767 --> 00:49:28,685 - Embrace it. - I'll embrace you. 916 00:49:28,769 --> 00:49:29,852 I didn't mean that, I'm really sorry. 917 00:49:30,688 --> 00:49:33,356 It's all right. Why don't you tell me... 918 00:49:33,691 --> 00:49:35,984 - Yeah? ...what turns you on? 919 00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:40,697 Uh... What turns me on? 920 00:49:41,115 --> 00:49:42,699 I don't... What, really? 921 00:49:44,868 --> 00:49:47,120 I, uh, I like it... I like it when she... 922 00:49:49,540 --> 00:49:53,626 dresses up like a policewoman, or estate agent. 923 00:49:55,130 --> 00:50:00,302 We haven't met, and she forces me to do things to her 924 00:50:01,220 --> 00:50:03,722 that I would never normally do. 925 00:50:06,058 --> 00:50:07,976 - Right. - Yeah. 926 00:50:09,061 --> 00:50:11,896 I was thinking more along the lines of lace. 927 00:50:11,981 --> 00:50:13,064 Were you? 928 00:50:13,190 --> 00:50:14,733 - Satin? - Satin. 929 00:50:15,484 --> 00:50:16,484 Fishnets? 930 00:50:16,569 --> 00:50:20,238 Fishnets, the fish of the sea. Fish of the sea. A trawlerman. 931 00:50:20,323 --> 00:50:23,908 I once saw a trawlerman. 932 00:50:24,744 --> 00:50:26,077 You must know the lucky lady. 933 00:50:26,746 --> 00:50:28,330 Any thoughts? 934 00:50:28,414 --> 00:50:30,415 You're as useless at all this sexy stuff as I am, aren't you? 935 00:50:30,917 --> 00:50:34,086 You're happy with a thermal nightie, a Stieg Larsson and a nice milky tea. 936 00:50:36,923 --> 00:50:40,927 I'm just gonna go have a browse. Leave you to it. 937 00:50:42,764 --> 00:50:44,431 Oh, this is nice. 938 00:50:44,557 --> 00:50:46,767 They also have a wonderful restaurant. 939 00:50:46,851 --> 00:50:49,770 I wouldn't think of staying anywhere else when I'm in London. 940 00:50:50,229 --> 00:50:56,443 So, what is our strategy when it comes to online awareness? 941 00:50:56,861 --> 00:51:00,447 So, the idea is to drive the consumer to the site through... 942 00:51:01,240 --> 00:51:05,118 Oysters? 943 00:51:06,205 --> 00:51:07,288 Seriously, Guy. 944 00:51:07,956 --> 00:51:10,583 They must have run out of Highland shortbread. 945 00:51:11,752 --> 00:51:14,962 To drive consumers to the site through a unified multiplatform... 946 00:51:18,259 --> 00:51:21,136 A unified multiplatform approach, accessible with... 947 00:51:25,100 --> 00:51:27,810 Yes, go on. Platforms, that was good. 948 00:51:28,311 --> 00:51:33,148 Well, traditional media should not be ignored, either. 949 00:51:34,109 --> 00:51:36,235 Doves? Really? 950 00:51:36,986 --> 00:51:38,821 I think you're amazing, Nat. 951 00:51:38,947 --> 00:51:41,615 I know it's unprofessional and cliché, but... 952 00:51:41,659 --> 00:51:43,243 I'm married. 953 00:51:43,953 --> 00:51:45,495 What? 954 00:51:46,288 --> 00:51:48,331 I'm married. I have a husband. 955 00:51:51,252 --> 00:51:54,170 How can you? Why didn't you say something? 956 00:51:54,296 --> 00:51:56,464 For all this time, you didn't think to tell me? 957 00:51:56,507 --> 00:52:00,261 I didn't say anything because I thought we'd get the account if... 958 00:52:01,513 --> 00:52:03,305 if I flirted with you. 959 00:52:03,348 --> 00:52:06,851 And then I liked flirting with you too much for any of this to stop. 960 00:52:06,977 --> 00:52:09,854 Well, this wouldn't be happening if you were happy with your husband. 961 00:52:10,647 --> 00:52:12,022 What am I supposed to say? 962 00:52:12,649 --> 00:52:15,860 I can't leave him, he'd be destroyed. Look, I'm really sorry, 963 00:52:15,986 --> 00:52:18,363 but that dove's getting awfully close to the ceiling fan. 964 00:52:19,157 --> 00:52:20,866 Who is this guy? Do you have children? 965 00:52:21,451 --> 00:52:23,994 - How long have you been married? - Look, that's irrelevant. He's... 966 00:52:24,036 --> 00:52:25,871 He's dependable and... 967 00:52:28,207 --> 00:52:29,541 ...and he's kind and safe, 968 00:52:29,625 --> 00:52:32,127 and I can't throw that all away for you. 969 00:52:32,211 --> 00:52:34,671 I mean, you're charming and twinkly. 970 00:52:36,299 --> 00:52:39,135 Look, you're a Ferrari and he's a Volvo, and right now... 971 00:52:41,805 --> 00:52:43,389 I just need to be behind the wheel of a Volvo. 972 00:52:43,849 --> 00:52:45,558 I need... 973 00:52:48,187 --> 00:52:49,395 I need reliability 974 00:52:49,813 --> 00:52:54,026 and to be able to get from A to B safe and unhurt. 975 00:52:54,319 --> 00:52:55,402 Oh! God! 976 00:52:55,737 --> 00:52:57,237 Dove down, dove down! 977 00:52:57,363 --> 00:52:59,990 It's okay, I think it's just stunned. Can you... 978 00:53:00,074 --> 00:53:02,034 - Do you want me to stop now? - Yes. 979 00:53:02,076 --> 00:53:04,161 Listen, Nat. I'm not giving up. 980 00:53:04,412 --> 00:53:06,580 From the minute I met you I've thought of nothing else. 981 00:53:06,664 --> 00:53:10,083 Do you think I care if our logo has a drop shadow or is italicised? No. 982 00:53:10,418 --> 00:53:12,836 I'm looking for excuses to see you. 983 00:53:12,921 --> 00:53:14,087 Come on. 984 00:53:14,172 --> 00:53:16,089 And I'm not twinkly. 985 00:53:16,716 --> 00:53:18,342 I don't twinkle with anyone else. 986 00:53:19,595 --> 00:53:21,596 You make me twinkly. 987 00:53:24,099 --> 00:53:26,017 Ugh! God! 988 00:53:26,101 --> 00:53:28,437 That's supposed to be lucky. 989 00:53:29,105 --> 00:53:31,398 Look, as might be evident, I've never done this kind of thing before, 990 00:53:31,441 --> 00:53:35,528 but I would regret it forever if I didn't try everything I could. 991 00:53:36,029 --> 00:53:39,907 Married or not, I need to be with you, Nat. 992 00:53:42,744 --> 00:53:44,537 Mind... Mind, um... Sorry. 993 00:53:45,121 --> 00:53:48,082 I'm sorry. I can't do this. I'm sorry. 994 00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:51,377 Sorry. 995 00:53:58,260 --> 00:54:01,221 Perhaps in hindsight you shouldn't have gone with the doves. 996 00:54:01,639 --> 00:54:02,806 Thanks. 997 00:54:05,602 --> 00:54:07,436 - You like those, sir? - Uh, yeah. 998 00:54:07,646 --> 00:54:10,982 Crotchless. Interesting, lovely, yeah. Do you get much of a call for those? 999 00:54:11,108 --> 00:54:12,984 - Shit. - Everything all right in there? 1000 00:54:13,110 --> 00:54:15,570 Yeah, I just... I think this hook is caught. 1001 00:54:15,654 --> 00:54:17,488 Yeah, I got it. Uh, yeah, I have to admit 1002 00:54:17,656 --> 00:54:20,575 I'm not very good with buttons or zips or that sort of thing. 1003 00:54:20,659 --> 00:54:22,910 Usually I... Holy fucking shit. 1004 00:54:24,913 --> 00:54:26,163 I mean, who needs a dehumidifier, right? 1005 00:54:26,832 --> 00:54:30,585 Sure, I get a bit of condensation on my bedroom window sometimes, but it's fine. 1006 00:54:31,003 --> 00:54:33,629 - Will you just close the... - Oh, yeah, sorry. Sorry. 1007 00:54:34,172 --> 00:54:36,340 - Um... - Look, were they always like that? 1008 00:54:36,466 --> 00:54:38,968 'Cause, I mean, they're unbelievable. 1009 00:54:39,011 --> 00:54:43,683 I just thought that I would try something unpractical. 1010 00:54:45,352 --> 00:54:49,480 Do you think that Nat would like something like this, or... 1011 00:54:49,523 --> 00:54:51,107 Nat? 1012 00:54:51,191 --> 00:54:54,694 Oh, of course. Yeah, she'd look really nice. 1013 00:54:56,363 --> 00:54:58,156 She'd look good. 1014 00:54:58,198 --> 00:54:59,532 Um... 1015 00:54:59,867 --> 00:55:01,451 Yeah, but I think maybe the... 1016 00:55:01,535 --> 00:55:02,952 - I don't know if it's... - What is it? 1017 00:55:03,037 --> 00:55:05,204 I don't know if it's caught on the tag. 1018 00:55:06,206 --> 00:55:07,373 I don't know what I did. 1019 00:55:07,458 --> 00:55:09,500 Your hair's in the way, I'm just gonna... 1020 00:55:18,053 --> 00:55:20,554 You know those, um, 1021 00:55:21,057 --> 00:55:24,225 strips that they put in pants... 1022 00:55:25,227 --> 00:55:27,228 if you want to try them on? 1023 00:55:28,648 --> 00:55:32,233 Do you think that's to prevent against gonorrhoea or chlamydia? 1024 00:55:33,903 --> 00:55:36,696 That's the one these days, Chlamydia. That's... 1025 00:55:36,739 --> 00:55:39,240 Or so I've... so I've read. 1026 00:55:55,926 --> 00:55:58,094 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that. 1027 00:55:58,178 --> 00:56:01,515 No. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. 1028 00:56:01,599 --> 00:56:04,184 Excuse me, sir, will you be paying for that? 1029 00:56:06,270 --> 00:56:07,938 Christ, I expect so. 1030 00:56:08,356 --> 00:56:09,439 I'm sorry. 1031 00:56:09,565 --> 00:56:11,942 I'm sorry, I just wanted you to know how I feel about you 1032 00:56:12,026 --> 00:56:15,320 - and I don't want to let you slip away. - It's very complicated. 1033 00:56:15,446 --> 00:56:17,614 - Chloe, that was really bad. - I know. 1034 00:56:17,699 --> 00:56:20,534 I mean, not the kiss or the visuals, that was lovely, 1035 00:56:20,785 --> 00:56:22,911 - but I'm married. - I know. 1036 00:56:23,121 --> 00:56:25,288 Oh, great, it's goddamn Beyoncé. 1037 00:56:25,540 --> 00:56:28,042 What?! Fuck! 1038 00:56:28,127 --> 00:56:30,461 - Beyoncé is my husband! - What? 1039 00:56:30,546 --> 00:56:32,213 Beyoncé is my husband! 1040 00:56:32,798 --> 00:56:33,965 - Beyoncé is Josh. - Him? 1041 00:56:34,091 --> 00:56:35,466 Yes. 1042 00:56:36,093 --> 00:56:37,385 Nat! 1043 00:56:38,554 --> 00:56:40,304 - Hello, darling! - How weird! 1044 00:56:40,472 --> 00:56:42,474 - What a treat. - How are you? 1045 00:56:43,143 --> 00:56:44,893 - Hi, Chloe. - Hi. 1046 00:56:45,145 --> 00:56:47,604 - Guy, right? - Yeah. Josh? 1047 00:56:47,647 --> 00:56:48,981 Yeah, that's right. Nice to see you. 1048 00:56:49,107 --> 00:56:52,317 Guy, this is Chloe. She's a wonderful, uh... 1049 00:56:52,485 --> 00:56:53,652 charity worker. 1050 00:56:53,737 --> 00:56:55,154 - Hi. - Hi. 1051 00:56:55,321 --> 00:56:57,114 Yeah, we were just doing some Christmas shopping. 1052 00:56:57,157 --> 00:56:58,490 We were just having a meeting around the corner. 1053 00:56:58,616 --> 00:56:59,950 - Oh, were you? - Yeah. 1054 00:56:59,993 --> 00:57:02,328 - Nice. - Yeah. 1055 00:57:04,331 --> 00:57:06,750 - Did you have fun last night? - Oh, it was awesome, awesome. 1056 00:57:06,834 --> 00:57:10,003 Did you manage to get lucky with the ladies? 1057 00:57:10,629 --> 00:57:14,007 No. Actually, the girl I had my eye on blew me off. 1058 00:57:14,175 --> 00:57:16,426 I ended up alone in the hotel with a mini sleeve of Pringles 1059 00:57:16,510 --> 00:57:18,470 watching Malaysian golf on Eurosport. 1060 00:57:18,512 --> 00:57:20,930 That's hilarious. 1061 00:57:25,937 --> 00:57:28,022 I find that incredibly difficult to believe. 1062 00:57:28,190 --> 00:57:29,315 Well, it's true, it's true. 1063 00:57:29,441 --> 00:57:30,941 What, a man as good-looking as you? 1064 00:57:31,026 --> 00:57:35,821 Fabulous face, amazing hair, wonderful teeth. 1065 00:57:35,864 --> 00:57:37,866 - A real hunk of spunk. - Thank you. 1066 00:57:37,950 --> 00:57:41,328 Amazing skin, that's what... Hasn't he got incredible skin? 1067 00:57:42,205 --> 00:57:44,164 - You do. - Thank you. 1068 00:57:44,207 --> 00:57:45,874 It's inspirational. 1069 00:57:47,168 --> 00:57:49,002 Chloe's single. Aren't you? 1070 00:57:50,046 --> 00:57:51,630 And she's American. 1071 00:57:51,714 --> 00:57:53,882 - And you're... you could... - ... ride the subway 1072 00:57:54,008 --> 00:57:56,551 and have a malt at the Five and Dime. 1073 00:57:56,677 --> 00:57:57,803 If that takes your fancy. 1074 00:57:59,013 --> 00:58:00,722 If you want to. 1075 00:58:00,848 --> 00:58:02,891 - Are you okay? - Yeah. Yeah. 1076 00:58:03,017 --> 00:58:04,727 Poor Chloe could probably think of nothing worse, 1077 00:58:05,062 --> 00:58:07,063 but maybe if we all went out together sometime, 1078 00:58:07,189 --> 00:58:09,732 - that could be cool. - Ooh! 1079 00:58:10,067 --> 00:58:12,568 You could set that up, couldn't you, Nat? Is that all right? 1080 00:58:12,653 --> 00:58:16,907 Yes, yes, absolutely. I will organise it. I'll organise it. 1081 00:58:16,991 --> 00:58:18,075 Awesome. 1082 00:58:18,159 --> 00:58:19,326 - Great. - Okay. 1083 00:58:19,410 --> 00:58:21,078 - Dinner after Christmas. - Dinner. 1084 00:58:21,204 --> 00:58:23,247 Yeah, sarsaparilla and hot dogs all round. 1085 00:58:23,581 --> 00:58:25,749 - Very nice to meet you. - You, too. You, too. 1086 00:58:28,670 --> 00:58:33,257 Things really hit a low point around Christmas. 1087 00:58:33,842 --> 00:58:36,426 His family's so weird. 1088 00:58:37,762 --> 00:58:39,930 - That's not nice. - They are. Come on. 1089 00:58:40,348 --> 00:58:44,269 I caught your mother googling, "Can cat urine be used as fertiliser?" 1090 00:58:44,353 --> 00:58:46,938 She's got lots of cat urine. She might as well use it. 1091 00:58:47,690 --> 00:58:49,733 Why the fuck has she got lots of cat urine? 1092 00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:52,695 Hey! Merry Christmas! 1093 00:58:53,530 --> 00:58:55,030 At least my family are friendly. 1094 00:58:55,115 --> 00:58:57,616 - Nat! - Hi, Mum. You all right? 1095 00:58:58,201 --> 00:59:00,870 You didn't exactly endear yourself with the charades debacle. 1096 00:59:02,372 --> 00:59:03,455 Here we go. 1097 00:59:06,042 --> 00:59:07,751 - Play. - Television. 1098 00:59:09,462 --> 00:59:11,714 Four words. First word. 1099 00:59:12,424 --> 00:59:14,466 - Unconscious. - Dead. 1100 00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:17,636 - Tapping. Computer. - Hanging. Vera Duck. 1101 00:59:17,762 --> 00:59:19,138 - Letters. - Braille. 1102 00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:21,098 - Red. - Impotent! Thick! 1103 00:59:21,141 --> 00:59:22,433 - Stupid. - Man. 1104 00:59:22,475 --> 00:59:23,559 - Effeminate. - Husband? 1105 00:59:23,643 --> 00:59:25,146 - Annoying idiot. - Father? 1106 00:59:25,272 --> 00:59:27,481 Disappointment. Shame. Regret. 1107 00:59:27,566 --> 00:59:28,649 - Profession. - Lazy. 1108 00:59:28,775 --> 00:59:30,776 Doctor. "Doctor," thank you. 1109 00:59:30,819 --> 00:59:33,487 "Doctor" is not the first thing you think of when you look at him. 1110 00:59:33,614 --> 00:59:35,573 - Four words. Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde! - Doctor Zhivago. 1111 00:59:35,657 --> 00:59:37,783 Quick, quick, quick, you've got a minute! 1112 00:59:37,826 --> 00:59:39,118 Go, go, go! 1113 00:59:39,161 --> 00:59:41,913 - Second word. - Sounds like... sister. 1114 00:59:42,497 --> 00:59:44,165 - Nat. - Fit. Sexy. 1115 00:59:44,249 --> 00:59:46,459 - Young girl? - Wife. Uh, woman. 1116 00:59:46,793 --> 00:59:49,337 Nat, bat, sat, rat, cat, hat. 1117 00:59:49,421 --> 00:59:51,339 Wife. Beautiful. Uh... The splits! 1118 00:59:51,465 --> 00:59:53,132 - Cellist! - Cello! 1119 00:59:53,175 --> 00:59:55,843 - Hilary and Jackie. - Family. Family. 1120 00:59:56,511 --> 00:59:57,845 - What are you... - Barren. 1121 00:59:57,971 --> 01:00:00,974 Baron Münchhausen! Sorry, no. Um... 1122 01:00:02,936 --> 01:00:04,603 Um... 1123 01:00:06,106 --> 01:00:07,273 Vagina. 1124 01:00:08,108 --> 01:00:11,527 Pussy. Minge. Twat. Foo-foo. 1125 01:00:11,779 --> 01:00:14,322 Clunge. Uh, growler. 1126 01:00:14,365 --> 01:00:15,448 Quim. 1127 01:00:15,532 --> 01:00:17,700 Quim! Quim! Quim! Quim! Quim! 1128 01:00:17,785 --> 01:00:19,369 Dr Quim and his Casebooks! 1129 01:00:19,787 --> 01:00:21,871 - Dr Quinn Medicine Woman. - That's it. 1130 01:00:23,290 --> 01:00:24,958 - Get away from me. - What? 1131 01:00:26,043 --> 01:00:27,710 You all right, Mother? 1132 01:00:27,836 --> 01:00:29,128 What else rhymes with "Quinn"? 1133 01:00:29,797 --> 01:00:31,005 Sounds like "chin"? 1134 01:00:31,882 --> 01:00:33,466 Sounds like "bin". 1135 01:00:33,550 --> 01:00:35,134 Yeah, all right, bloody Lionel Blair. 1136 01:00:35,386 --> 01:00:37,054 Look, I was tired. 1137 01:00:37,681 --> 01:00:39,515 I'd hardly slept, I wasn't thinking straight 1138 01:00:39,557 --> 01:00:42,226 because your evil stepdad had put me in that bedroom. 1139 01:00:42,352 --> 01:00:44,561 Just to punish me. 1140 01:00:44,729 --> 01:00:47,399 I would argue that you got a better night's sleep 1141 01:00:47,525 --> 01:00:49,859 than I did at your parents' house. 1142 01:00:49,902 --> 01:00:50,902 - Oh, Brian! - Elaine! 1143 01:00:51,028 --> 01:00:53,029 Oh, Brian, you know just what I like! 1144 01:00:53,072 --> 01:00:55,240 - Tits or face? Tits or face? - Tits. 1145 01:00:56,867 --> 01:00:57,909 Wrong answer! 1146 01:00:57,994 --> 01:01:00,996 - Oh, Brian! Oh, my God. - Sorry, darling. 1147 01:01:01,414 --> 01:01:02,747 Yeah, well, your parents made it perfectly clear 1148 01:01:02,873 --> 01:01:03,873 what they thought of me. 1149 01:01:04,667 --> 01:01:06,876 - What have you got? - Fantastic! 1150 01:01:06,919 --> 01:01:09,587 - Digital photo frame. - Wonderful! 1151 01:01:09,714 --> 01:01:11,757 You just put a memory stick in and it makes a slide show. 1152 01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:13,759 We've got our camera on us, we'll have to try it out later. 1153 01:01:13,802 --> 01:01:15,803 That is fabulous. "ReKapture." 1154 01:01:15,929 --> 01:01:17,722 My go? Thank you. Who's this from? 1155 01:01:17,764 --> 01:01:19,056 Mum and Dad! 1156 01:01:19,599 --> 01:01:21,100 Cracking. 1157 01:01:24,438 --> 01:01:26,231 How to be a Successful Writer. 1158 01:01:27,483 --> 01:01:29,151 And, um, Stop Wasting Your Life. 1159 01:01:31,112 --> 01:01:32,779 - Good idea. - Unbelievable. 1160 01:01:32,822 --> 01:01:34,906 - My family hate him... - They hate me. 1161 01:01:35,116 --> 01:01:36,783 ...his family get under my skin, 1162 01:01:36,909 --> 01:01:39,619 and, at a time when we should have felt happy and close, 1163 01:01:40,163 --> 01:01:41,496 I couldn't have felt more distant. 1164 01:01:44,375 --> 01:01:46,501 Explain again what your book's about. 1165 01:01:46,587 --> 01:01:50,631 Well, my hero is a young history professor called Ezra 1166 01:01:50,758 --> 01:01:53,718 who, with the help of a young American aid worker, 1167 01:01:53,802 --> 01:01:57,805 discovers this man in Borneo who claims to be Muhammad. 1168 01:01:59,058 --> 01:02:02,977 So it's a meditation, really, on the veracity and origins of faith. 1169 01:02:03,062 --> 01:02:05,271 If he ever gets round to finishing it. 1170 01:02:05,397 --> 01:02:07,107 Oi! 1171 01:02:07,984 --> 01:02:09,485 Another drink, Josh? 1172 01:02:09,611 --> 01:02:10,903 Oh, that'd be lovely, thank you. 1173 01:02:22,625 --> 01:02:24,959 Oh, that's gorgeous. 1174 01:02:26,003 --> 01:02:28,338 - Ice? - Uh, yes, please. 1175 01:02:29,006 --> 01:02:30,256 Mmm. 1176 01:02:30,341 --> 01:02:32,342 That's sweet. 1177 01:02:34,637 --> 01:02:36,304 Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help? 1178 01:02:36,347 --> 01:02:37,931 - No, thank you, I'm fine. - I have to help! 1179 01:02:38,015 --> 01:02:39,349 Oh! 1180 01:02:40,142 --> 01:02:41,267 Mince pie, Alec? 1181 01:02:42,478 --> 01:02:44,020 - No, thank you. - Are you sure? 1182 01:02:44,146 --> 01:02:45,438 Why are you standing like that? 1183 01:02:45,523 --> 01:02:46,816 Just offering Alec a mince pie. 1184 01:02:46,858 --> 01:02:48,109 He doesn't want a mince pie. 1185 01:02:48,193 --> 01:02:49,819 - You don't... You don't? - No. 1186 01:02:51,363 --> 01:02:52,780 Just stand up. 1187 01:02:54,491 --> 01:02:57,034 That's that market we went to in Taroudant. 1188 01:02:57,160 --> 01:02:58,954 - Let me see, darling. - Yes. 1189 01:02:59,038 --> 01:03:01,331 Um, it was gorgeous, they had the most incredible figs. 1190 01:03:01,374 --> 01:03:03,375 I'm sure nobody wants to hear about the figs. 1191 01:03:03,459 --> 01:03:05,168 Because it wasn't very... Look at the cat! 1192 01:03:05,211 --> 01:03:06,628 Fucking little cocksucker. 1193 01:03:07,380 --> 01:03:08,547 Give this back to me. 1194 01:03:09,382 --> 01:03:10,674 Give it! 1195 01:03:11,968 --> 01:03:13,385 Just sit down. 1196 01:03:15,179 --> 01:03:16,388 Goodness me. 1197 01:03:16,514 --> 01:03:18,682 - Is it still working? - Yes. 1198 01:03:18,724 --> 01:03:23,353 This is the town square. They had snake charmers and performing monkeys. 1199 01:03:23,479 --> 01:03:25,188 Oh! That looks so magical. 1200 01:03:26,190 --> 01:03:27,692 Me with a monkey. 1201 01:03:27,860 --> 01:03:29,569 Darling, you look so sweet. 1202 01:03:30,571 --> 01:03:33,239 Oh! Me trying on those slippers. They were very pretty. 1203 01:03:33,323 --> 01:03:34,741 They look it. 1204 01:03:35,577 --> 01:03:36,660 Us having cocktails. 1205 01:03:36,744 --> 01:03:38,829 There was a beautiful bar at the top of the hotel. 1206 01:03:38,913 --> 01:03:40,414 We'd go there every evening. 1207 01:03:40,832 --> 01:03:42,875 Us having more cocktails. 1208 01:04:08,277 --> 01:04:09,778 It was a junior suite. 1209 01:04:09,905 --> 01:04:12,281 Uh... Not terribly expensive. 1210 01:04:13,116 --> 01:04:16,577 Lovely view of the orchards. In fact, you can... If you just... 1211 01:04:16,786 --> 01:04:19,747 You can just see in the background there, the... Phwoar. 1212 01:04:21,750 --> 01:04:23,584 That's doggy style. 1213 01:04:24,669 --> 01:04:26,587 Nat's favourite. Isn't it, Nat? 1214 01:04:36,014 --> 01:04:37,806 Why don't I drive? 1215 01:04:38,350 --> 01:04:39,683 You drive like you've got a vagina. 1216 01:04:39,768 --> 01:04:42,645 You could do. Or I could glue myself to a deckchair 1217 01:04:42,729 --> 01:04:44,188 and you could kick me down a stairwell. 1218 01:04:44,272 --> 01:04:47,025 Both about as enjoyable. Both about as likely to happen. 1219 01:04:47,610 --> 01:04:49,820 Why do you do it? 1220 01:04:49,905 --> 01:04:52,365 Why are you still together? You hate each other. 1221 01:04:52,449 --> 01:04:55,201 Of course we do, but that's marriage. 1222 01:04:56,203 --> 01:04:58,204 I mean, you embrace the hatred. 1223 01:04:59,289 --> 01:05:01,165 And I married a man who wears driving gloves. 1224 01:05:01,250 --> 01:05:02,541 Actually helps you get purchase. 1225 01:05:02,626 --> 01:05:04,710 Don't say "purchase". 1226 01:05:04,962 --> 01:05:08,589 But how do you know that the hate won't outweigh the love? 1227 01:05:08,674 --> 01:05:11,175 How do you know there's not someone better out there for you? 1228 01:05:11,260 --> 01:05:13,761 Well, Christ, there is. Of course there is. 1229 01:05:14,680 --> 01:05:16,639 But marriage is about living with the imperfections, isn't it? 1230 01:05:16,723 --> 01:05:18,766 I mean, look at that stupid ginger face. 1231 01:05:19,810 --> 01:05:21,728 It's true. I'd miss her. 1232 01:05:21,813 --> 01:05:23,605 Look at those beautiful eyes, big warm heart. 1233 01:05:23,690 --> 01:05:25,732 You know, she hasn't aged a day since I met her. 1234 01:05:25,817 --> 01:05:29,779 And as you get to know each other more, well, you love each other more. 1235 01:05:30,114 --> 01:05:31,823 No, don't you try and kiss me. 1236 01:05:36,620 --> 01:05:38,371 - Did you forget something? - Yeah. 1237 01:05:39,581 --> 01:05:41,916 - We're gonna hit traffic, you know. - Yeah, you will. 1238 01:05:45,629 --> 01:05:46,713 Tonight should be interesting. 1239 01:05:46,797 --> 01:05:48,965 They could be really right for each other. 1240 01:05:49,049 --> 01:05:51,926 Because Chloe's so sweet, and Guy seems all right. 1241 01:05:52,011 --> 01:05:54,387 What do you think? What about that? 1242 01:05:54,513 --> 01:05:55,848 No? 1243 01:05:56,224 --> 01:05:57,474 Yeah. 1244 01:05:57,559 --> 01:06:01,270 Chloe's lovely. I don't know how you let her slip away. 1245 01:06:01,604 --> 01:06:03,355 What, Chloe? No! 1246 01:06:04,357 --> 01:06:06,775 She's too nice. She's too perfect. 1247 01:06:06,860 --> 01:06:08,986 A little of Chloe goes a long way. 1248 01:06:09,070 --> 01:06:10,780 Yeah, I mean, she can be kind of grating. 1249 01:06:10,865 --> 01:06:13,742 Totally. This one? Rugby? 1250 01:06:14,910 --> 01:06:15,994 No? 1251 01:06:16,579 --> 01:06:19,831 But Guy, I mean, he's quite a catch. He's just your type, really. 1252 01:06:19,915 --> 01:06:23,418 No, he's too slick for his own good. 1253 01:06:23,961 --> 01:06:25,337 Bit too American. 1254 01:06:26,088 --> 01:06:28,048 You're my type. I don't really go for good-looking. 1255 01:06:28,674 --> 01:06:30,008 Oh. 1256 01:06:34,556 --> 01:06:38,017 Hi. Great to see you. You're looking very sexy. 1257 01:06:38,101 --> 01:06:39,352 And, Nat, you look good, too. 1258 01:06:43,982 --> 01:06:45,191 Uh, you two pop yourselves down. 1259 01:06:45,275 --> 01:06:46,567 I'm gonna nip off to the little boys' room. 1260 01:06:46,651 --> 01:06:49,153 See if I can find myself some little boys. 1261 01:06:49,237 --> 01:06:51,490 Obviously not. Just gonna go for a quick wee. 1262 01:06:51,574 --> 01:06:52,616 Not the other. 1263 01:06:54,952 --> 01:06:56,745 Sorry about that. 1264 01:07:03,628 --> 01:07:05,712 So, is tonight not a bit weird? 1265 01:07:05,797 --> 01:07:08,049 Do you promise not to get insanely jealous? 1266 01:07:09,802 --> 01:07:11,135 Honestly. 1267 01:07:12,096 --> 01:07:15,348 Chloe is fantastic. You'll love her. 1268 01:07:16,016 --> 01:07:20,520 She's the best. The best! She's so kind. Wonderfully kind. 1269 01:07:20,604 --> 01:07:22,939 - Mmm. Mmm. - And pretty. She's very pretty. 1270 01:07:23,023 --> 01:07:25,983 Definitely, she's so pretty. Hundred percent. 1271 01:07:31,282 --> 01:07:32,783 Hey, Chloe, you're here. 1272 01:07:32,867 --> 01:07:35,869 Yeah. Look, if this is weird, I can go. 1273 01:07:35,995 --> 01:07:39,206 It's just that, you know, you set it up and you didn't seem to mind. 1274 01:07:39,290 --> 01:07:40,999 No, I don't mind, it's not weird. Why would I find it weird? 1275 01:07:41,084 --> 01:07:44,129 Listen, the bloke's a bit of a twat, but you might like him. 1276 01:07:44,672 --> 01:07:46,798 Oh, yeah! I love a twat. 1277 01:07:46,882 --> 01:07:48,925 Single girl, looking for a guy. 1278 01:07:49,009 --> 01:07:51,302 No non-twats considered. 1279 01:07:51,387 --> 01:07:52,637 Oh, shit. Okay, they've seen us. 1280 01:07:53,973 --> 01:07:55,807 Let's go do this. 1281 01:07:55,891 --> 01:08:00,061 Okay, final game. It's Brits one, Yanks one. 1282 01:08:00,146 --> 01:08:02,981 We owe this to our great nation to win this, Chloe. 1283 01:08:03,065 --> 01:08:04,315 - Let's do it. - Yes, sir! 1284 01:08:04,400 --> 01:08:06,818 Just look at us. We're all getting on like a house on fire. 1285 01:08:06,902 --> 01:08:08,653 I've never really understood that phrase. 1286 01:08:08,737 --> 01:08:09,779 Exactly why is it good 1287 01:08:09,864 --> 01:08:12,741 to get on like a house on fire? I mean, there might be small kids left inside. 1288 01:08:12,826 --> 01:08:13,909 - Think of them. - I know! 1289 01:08:13,994 --> 01:08:16,495 And the possibility of asphyxiation... 1290 01:08:16,580 --> 01:08:18,623 Or at the very least, the loss of any no-claims bonus. 1291 01:08:20,001 --> 01:08:21,334 It's just a metaphor. 1292 01:08:21,419 --> 01:08:23,879 It means something that's uncontrollable, has momentum. 1293 01:08:24,005 --> 01:08:25,964 Exactly. So, tell me this. 1294 01:08:26,048 --> 01:08:28,383 What would be the first thing you'd save in a fire? Let me guess. 1295 01:08:28,885 --> 01:08:30,635 - Jimmy Choos. - Your wedding ring. 1296 01:08:32,430 --> 01:08:34,306 Well, obviously my wedding ring. 1297 01:08:34,390 --> 01:08:36,808 But I've got two hands, haven't I? 1298 01:08:36,893 --> 01:08:38,393 She does love that ring. 1299 01:08:38,978 --> 01:08:41,563 The first thing I noticed about you. Wasn't it? 1300 01:08:59,375 --> 01:09:00,417 Sorry, Nat. Excuse me. 1301 01:09:07,008 --> 01:09:08,050 Fuck off. 1302 01:09:09,302 --> 01:09:10,636 Yeah, that's too bad. 1303 01:09:11,095 --> 01:09:13,222 I'd probably rescue that necklace that I got you 1304 01:09:13,306 --> 01:09:15,098 when we got engaged in Venice. 1305 01:09:15,183 --> 01:09:17,309 That's sweet. It's beautiful. 1306 01:09:19,312 --> 01:09:20,854 How about you, Chloe? 1307 01:09:20,980 --> 01:09:23,649 I'm guessing something sentimental, emotional? 1308 01:09:24,484 --> 01:09:25,526 Um... 1309 01:09:25,610 --> 01:09:27,402 - It's your shot, Guy. - Sorry? 1310 01:09:27,487 --> 01:09:30,240 - It's your shot, mate. - Sorry. 1311 01:09:30,324 --> 01:09:32,576 You wouldn't really head for the shoes, though, would you, Chloe? 1312 01:09:32,661 --> 01:09:34,328 Fashion's not really your thing. 1313 01:09:34,621 --> 01:09:36,664 Why would it be? I mean, look at her. 1314 01:09:36,790 --> 01:09:37,998 She'd make anything look fantastic. 1315 01:09:39,501 --> 01:09:42,169 - She'd make a sack look incredible. - Thanks. 1316 01:09:42,254 --> 01:09:43,379 Good shot. 1317 01:09:43,463 --> 01:09:46,632 Yeah, it's like, what's the opposite of, "You cannot polish a turd"? 1318 01:09:46,925 --> 01:09:48,634 She's an already polished turd. 1319 01:09:48,927 --> 01:09:51,512 She's a turd buffed to a high sheen. 1320 01:09:52,430 --> 01:09:53,681 Thanks. 1321 01:09:54,224 --> 01:09:55,266 Unlucky, pal. 1322 01:09:55,350 --> 01:09:56,767 Yeah, honestly, if the stuff burnt up, 1323 01:09:56,851 --> 01:09:59,687 I think I'd just view it as a chance to start over, 1324 01:09:59,771 --> 01:10:04,149 you know, have a new adventure. I'm not too bothered by material possessions. 1325 01:10:04,234 --> 01:10:06,695 All right, come down on it a bit. 1326 01:10:07,113 --> 01:10:08,530 Come on. 1327 01:10:08,614 --> 01:10:10,323 And use your arm to go back and forth with it 1328 01:10:10,408 --> 01:10:11,658 so you really get a nice pumping action. 1329 01:10:12,285 --> 01:10:13,411 Then go through the ball, 1330 01:10:13,495 --> 01:10:15,454 and you want to hit it on the edge there. 1331 01:10:15,539 --> 01:10:17,290 Ah, ah, ah! If you put the cue 1332 01:10:17,541 --> 01:10:19,083 between your thumb and your first finger, 1333 01:10:19,167 --> 01:10:21,294 you'll find it easier to get... That's it. 1334 01:10:21,336 --> 01:10:24,297 Now get this moving before you take the shot. 1335 01:10:24,381 --> 01:10:25,381 Come down a bit lower on it. 1336 01:10:26,133 --> 01:10:28,175 Don't take the... Come on, not that low. 1337 01:10:29,011 --> 01:10:32,305 That's it. Now play through the ball, and breathe. 1338 01:10:34,391 --> 01:10:35,683 There's no point, is there? 1339 01:10:35,767 --> 01:10:38,352 If we're not gonna do it properly, it's like, what's the point? 1340 01:10:38,437 --> 01:10:39,812 - There's no point in playing, is there? - Nice try. 1341 01:10:39,896 --> 01:10:41,690 Oh, I think it's my shot. 1342 01:10:41,774 --> 01:10:43,150 I think Chloe's right. 1343 01:10:43,234 --> 01:10:47,487 I mean, nice things is great, but ultimately, so what? 1344 01:10:47,572 --> 01:10:49,573 As long as the people you love are safe. 1345 01:10:50,491 --> 01:10:51,742 That's it. You got that? 1346 01:10:52,869 --> 01:10:54,078 Good shot, Chloe. 1347 01:10:54,163 --> 01:10:55,580 Did you see that? 1348 01:10:55,664 --> 01:10:57,457 That was... Wow! 1349 01:10:57,541 --> 01:10:59,792 I can't believe it. Oh! 1350 01:10:59,960 --> 01:11:03,004 - It'll never happen again. - Oh, it will. Be positive. 1351 01:11:03,088 --> 01:11:05,673 No. Once in a lifetime. 1352 01:11:06,508 --> 01:11:09,010 It's so sweet, what you said about that necklace. 1353 01:11:09,094 --> 01:11:10,094 Yeah. 1354 01:11:10,179 --> 01:11:13,014 - I should wear it more often. - Okay. What do you think? 1355 01:11:13,098 --> 01:11:16,268 - I think you're good on your own. - Oh, you touched the cue ball. 1356 01:11:16,353 --> 01:11:17,728 - Oh. - So... 1357 01:11:17,812 --> 01:11:19,396 - Really? - I mean, if you want to play proper... 1358 01:11:19,481 --> 01:11:21,357 No, it's fine if you want to... 1359 01:11:21,441 --> 01:11:22,900 - Okay. - Sorry. 1360 01:11:22,984 --> 01:11:24,401 - Happens all the time, don't worry. - I'm sorry. 1361 01:11:24,486 --> 01:11:25,653 It's two shots if... 1362 01:11:25,737 --> 01:11:28,238 - No, no, it's cool. You... - All right. No, no. No, go ahead. 1363 01:11:28,323 --> 01:11:29,698 - I don't want to be a dick about it... - No! 1364 01:11:29,783 --> 01:11:30,783 - Too late. - Are you sure? 1365 01:11:30,867 --> 01:11:31,950 - Take your two shots. - Fine. 1366 01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:34,162 - Well, that was fun. - Yeah. 1367 01:11:34,246 --> 01:11:35,872 We should do it again. What do you say, Josh? 1368 01:11:35,956 --> 01:11:37,499 Give you Brits a chance for revenge? 1369 01:11:37,625 --> 01:11:40,251 Oh, yeah, 'cause... When my elbow's a bit better, 1370 01:11:40,336 --> 01:11:41,961 I'll be able to give you a much better game. Probably win. 1371 01:11:42,046 --> 01:11:43,713 Yeah, that sounds fun. 1372 01:11:43,798 --> 01:11:44,881 Can I walk you to your car? 1373 01:11:45,007 --> 01:11:47,592 Oh, you know, I'm just gonna catch a cab, 1374 01:11:47,677 --> 01:11:49,511 but you can wait with me if you like. 1375 01:11:49,595 --> 01:11:51,304 - Be my pleasure. - Okay. 1376 01:11:51,389 --> 01:11:54,350 Actually, Guy, do you mind if I quickly grab you for two minutes? 1377 01:11:54,434 --> 01:11:56,560 Just to talk packaging before the meeting. 1378 01:11:56,895 --> 01:11:58,020 Is that okay? 1379 01:11:58,855 --> 01:12:00,856 - Sure. - Thanks. Sorry. 1380 01:12:01,608 --> 01:12:03,693 Well, I could help you get a cab, if you want. 1381 01:12:04,027 --> 01:12:05,152 And I'll wait with you. 1382 01:12:06,988 --> 01:12:08,698 Okay, yeah. 1383 01:12:10,242 --> 01:12:12,118 - I had a blast, partner. - Oh! 1384 01:12:12,202 --> 01:12:14,371 We are what make our nation great. 1385 01:12:14,831 --> 01:12:17,457 I'd like to check out that Kandinsky thing you were talking about. 1386 01:12:17,542 --> 01:12:19,459 That sounds very interesting. 1387 01:12:20,002 --> 01:12:21,545 Thank you. 1388 01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:26,049 Aw, that's nice. All right? 1389 01:12:26,134 --> 01:12:27,760 Okay, I'll see you back at the flat. 1390 01:12:27,845 --> 01:12:29,971 All right. All the best. 1391 01:12:32,433 --> 01:12:33,850 I presume we need to make a decision 1392 01:12:33,934 --> 01:12:37,019 on the LinkWorth tender for the branding. 1393 01:12:37,771 --> 01:12:38,813 What are your thoughts? 1394 01:12:44,653 --> 01:12:47,196 Whoa, whoa, whoa, I thought you said that this... 1395 01:13:00,170 --> 01:13:02,714 Oh, Christ, even your underwear's amazing. 1396 01:13:07,595 --> 01:13:09,763 It's a little fiddly. 1397 01:13:10,765 --> 01:13:12,515 Just rip it off. Just rip it! 1398 01:13:12,600 --> 01:13:14,267 There it is! 1399 01:13:15,728 --> 01:13:19,773 That Guy's so dull. He's so bland. 1400 01:13:20,357 --> 01:13:21,858 You don't like him, do you? 1401 01:13:22,193 --> 01:13:23,485 Taxi! 1402 01:13:24,612 --> 01:13:25,945 No? 1403 01:13:28,032 --> 01:13:31,534 What's going on, Josh? What are we even doing? 1404 01:13:32,953 --> 01:13:35,039 What do you mean? Taxi! 1405 01:13:36,082 --> 01:13:38,000 Your light's on! Put your light... 1406 01:13:38,294 --> 01:13:39,669 His light was on. Why would... 1407 01:13:41,422 --> 01:13:43,757 You realise I love you, don't you? 1408 01:13:44,467 --> 01:13:46,718 I'm in love with a man who just got married 1409 01:13:46,803 --> 01:13:49,095 and we're both pretending that it's fine. 1410 01:13:49,430 --> 01:13:50,847 Tonight was so fucked-up! 1411 01:13:50,932 --> 01:13:52,307 Taxi! 1412 01:13:55,728 --> 01:13:58,271 No, no. Uh, excuse me, excuse me. No. 1413 01:13:58,356 --> 01:14:00,148 No, no, no, you don't do that. 1414 01:14:00,233 --> 01:14:02,234 That's not how decent people behave, is it? 1415 01:14:02,318 --> 01:14:04,611 How is society supposed to function 1416 01:14:04,695 --> 01:14:07,989 with people like you dragging us into a cesspit? 1417 01:14:08,366 --> 01:14:09,741 Mmm? We're not animals! 1418 01:14:10,159 --> 01:14:13,328 - Sorry, we just didn't see you. - Didn't realise it was your taxi. 1419 01:14:13,412 --> 01:14:15,582 - Please, take it. - Take it, you can have it. 1420 01:14:15,667 --> 01:14:17,668 So sorry. I'm sorry. 1421 01:14:18,461 --> 01:14:19,753 What am I supposed to do? 1422 01:14:19,838 --> 01:14:22,422 I can't just walk out of a marriage after nine months. 1423 01:14:22,507 --> 01:14:23,715 Why not? 1424 01:14:23,800 --> 01:14:26,718 Pride? Afraid of what people will say? 1425 01:14:27,679 --> 01:14:31,181 Figure out what you actually want to fight for, Josh. 1426 01:14:31,599 --> 01:14:32,850 When I went to Africa, 1427 01:14:32,934 --> 01:14:35,394 I convinced myself that we were too young 1428 01:14:35,478 --> 01:14:37,062 and somebody better would come along, 1429 01:14:37,146 --> 01:14:39,147 but they never did and they still haven't. 1430 01:14:39,858 --> 01:14:43,277 And now, every time I see you, I think, 1431 01:14:43,361 --> 01:14:44,903 why didn't you stop me? 1432 01:14:45,989 --> 01:14:48,156 Why didn't you fight? 1433 01:14:51,829 --> 01:14:53,663 This has to stop. 1434 01:14:54,498 --> 01:14:56,584 I can't see you any more. 1435 01:14:57,627 --> 01:14:59,378 You're married. 1436 01:14:59,963 --> 01:15:03,507 I can't see you any more. 1437 01:15:17,272 --> 01:15:19,356 - Dinner and a show, was it? - As it happens. 1438 01:15:19,441 --> 01:15:21,317 Yeah? Nice. 1439 01:15:21,401 --> 01:15:22,860 Sorry. 1440 01:15:40,797 --> 01:15:42,214 We need to talk. 1441 01:15:42,716 --> 01:15:44,759 We do, yeah. 1442 01:15:46,011 --> 01:15:48,012 I don't know what's happening here, 1443 01:15:48,764 --> 01:15:50,389 but it's been nine months 1444 01:15:51,558 --> 01:15:52,767 and neither of us is happy 1445 01:15:54,311 --> 01:15:55,895 and I don't know how to change things. 1446 01:15:56,229 --> 01:15:59,190 I just never imagined that marriage would be this difficult, you know? 1447 01:16:01,152 --> 01:16:03,403 I don't want to be Hugh and Naomi. 1448 01:16:03,488 --> 01:16:05,989 I don't want to constantly row over whether the bin's full or not. 1449 01:16:06,074 --> 01:16:08,492 I don't see what's wrong with compacting the rubbish to make more space... 1450 01:16:08,576 --> 01:16:11,328 - I'm not rowing about the bin again. - Neither am I. 1451 01:16:14,958 --> 01:16:19,337 Look, if you want to walk away, I understand. 1452 01:16:20,381 --> 01:16:21,631 Well, is that what you want? 1453 01:16:22,091 --> 01:16:23,508 That's not what I'm saying. 1454 01:16:23,592 --> 01:16:25,259 Because it sounds like you don't want to make it work. 1455 01:16:27,221 --> 01:16:28,471 Stop putting words into my mouth. 1456 01:16:28,555 --> 01:16:30,223 You're the one who said marriage was difficult. 1457 01:16:30,432 --> 01:16:32,934 Yeah, but I didn't say anything about walking away. 1458 01:16:34,061 --> 01:16:36,939 So, if you want to give up... 1459 01:16:38,108 --> 01:16:39,400 I'm not the one giving up. 1460 01:16:39,693 --> 01:16:41,026 Well, nor am I. 1461 01:16:41,611 --> 01:16:42,736 Well, 1462 01:16:42,862 --> 01:16:43,946 good. 1463 01:16:44,239 --> 01:16:46,073 That's good. 1464 01:16:50,161 --> 01:16:52,287 So what do we do? 1465 01:16:52,956 --> 01:16:55,124 So, that's why we've come here today. 1466 01:16:55,959 --> 01:16:57,042 We've hit our low point, 1467 01:16:57,127 --> 01:17:00,672 but we're committed to making our marriage succeed. 1468 01:17:02,758 --> 01:17:04,718 You should just cut your losses now 1469 01:17:04,802 --> 01:17:07,303 before your life becomes a series of squabbles 1470 01:17:07,430 --> 01:17:09,472 about who's meant to pick the kids up, 1471 01:17:09,557 --> 01:17:14,603 who put the King's Speech DVD back in the Sound of Music DVD case. 1472 01:17:15,063 --> 01:17:16,981 I suppose, if you really want to make it work, 1473 01:17:17,107 --> 01:17:20,985 you could try focusing on making it to a year. 1474 01:17:22,362 --> 01:17:25,573 Commit to a life with each other for the next three months. 1475 01:17:49,391 --> 01:17:50,516 What is it? 1476 01:17:51,018 --> 01:17:52,935 Is it a film? 1477 01:17:53,020 --> 01:17:54,395 - How many words? - Novel? 1478 01:17:54,480 --> 01:17:56,481 Well, you must know how many words there are. 1479 01:17:56,565 --> 01:17:58,357 Sounds like? 1480 01:18:21,758 --> 01:18:24,260 I understand you're looking to sell. 1481 01:18:27,223 --> 01:18:28,890 I'm from Foxtons. 1482 01:18:42,780 --> 01:18:43,988 Boom, boom. 1483 01:19:15,481 --> 01:19:19,526 So, this time last year, you'd been Mrs Moss for... 1484 01:19:19,610 --> 01:19:22,028 Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty... 1485 01:19:22,113 --> 01:19:24,072 ...an hour and eight minutes. 1486 01:19:24,907 --> 01:19:27,033 We made it. 1487 01:19:27,577 --> 01:19:29,411 One year. 1488 01:19:30,538 --> 01:19:32,914 We should be proud of ourselves. 1489 01:19:37,921 --> 01:19:39,589 Ta-da. 1490 01:19:40,592 --> 01:19:44,761 I thought I'd bring out the big guns for a special occasion. 1491 01:19:45,597 --> 01:19:47,931 - Could you help do me up? - Yeah. 1492 01:19:58,818 --> 01:20:00,360 I think two of these hooks are broken. 1493 01:20:01,988 --> 01:20:03,906 - Oh. Really? - Yeah, I think so. 1494 01:20:03,990 --> 01:20:08,493 - God. Um, let me fix it. - All right. 1495 01:20:22,761 --> 01:20:25,638 Hon, I've just remembered I've got to do something. Um... 1496 01:20:26,223 --> 01:20:29,308 I'll see you at the restaurant. Tell Hugh and Naomi, okay? 1497 01:20:29,559 --> 01:20:33,020 Sure. I'll see you there. 1498 01:21:04,012 --> 01:21:06,639 You know, you haven't even told me where we're going yet. 1499 01:21:07,516 --> 01:21:09,809 I wanted to surprise you. 1500 01:21:18,318 --> 01:21:21,196 Surprise! 1501 01:21:22,115 --> 01:21:23,198 What's going on? 1502 01:21:23,283 --> 01:21:25,033 I wanted to organise a little party for you. 1503 01:21:25,326 --> 01:21:27,411 A year is a big achievement. 1504 01:21:27,495 --> 01:21:28,912 Where is your stupid husband? 1505 01:21:35,878 --> 01:21:37,921 Did you remember your passport? 1506 01:21:39,299 --> 01:21:40,590 Here. 1507 01:21:40,675 --> 01:21:42,343 Is this human trafficking? 1508 01:21:42,428 --> 01:21:45,513 You're not gonna keep it and sell me to a gang of Albanians 1509 01:21:45,597 --> 01:21:47,807 who'll make me pleasure 25 truck drivers a day 1510 01:21:47,891 --> 01:21:50,977 at some port in Belgium for me to earn it back, are you? 1511 01:21:51,061 --> 01:21:53,896 No, no. Absolutely not. 1512 01:21:54,565 --> 01:21:56,357 It's a terrible situation, though. 1513 01:21:57,068 --> 01:21:58,777 Those women... 1514 01:21:59,571 --> 01:22:04,199 I can't help but think they all just started life as someone's little baby. 1515 01:22:06,953 --> 01:22:08,078 He's still not picking up. 1516 01:22:09,414 --> 01:22:10,539 He's never usually late. 1517 01:22:10,623 --> 01:22:13,042 God, can we start without him? I'm starving. 1518 01:22:13,126 --> 01:22:14,585 We've been here forever. 1519 01:22:14,669 --> 01:22:16,920 I can't believe he's late for our first-anniversary dinner. 1520 01:22:17,088 --> 01:22:18,464 I can't believe you even made it... 1521 01:22:18,548 --> 01:22:20,549 ...to your first-anniversary dinner. 1522 01:22:21,092 --> 01:22:22,302 - What? - Hmm? 1523 01:22:22,428 --> 01:22:23,428 Mmm? 1524 01:22:26,182 --> 01:22:30,435 Well, one year is pretty remarkable, 1525 01:22:30,644 --> 01:22:33,397 given that you two are completely ill-suited for one another, isn't it? 1526 01:22:33,482 --> 01:22:35,358 I mean, no one thought you were gonna make it a month, 1527 01:22:35,442 --> 01:22:36,484 much less a year. 1528 01:22:36,568 --> 01:22:37,610 Really? 1529 01:22:37,652 --> 01:22:40,321 I didn't actually think you'd make it past the honeymoon, honestly. 1530 01:22:40,405 --> 01:22:41,697 I thought you'd fuck a Moroccan. 1531 01:22:41,782 --> 01:22:42,823 - Whoa. - I really did. 1532 01:22:42,908 --> 01:22:43,908 And I wouldn't have blamed you 1533 01:22:43,992 --> 01:22:45,868 because they're very beguiling, the Moroccans. 1534 01:22:45,952 --> 01:22:49,288 If you sort of like the swarthy gentleman. 1535 01:22:49,623 --> 01:22:51,624 - Thanks. And no, I don't. - That's not your thing? 1536 01:22:51,708 --> 01:22:53,542 - No. - Ooh. A bit racist? 1537 01:22:53,627 --> 01:22:55,961 I bet you'd do it. You'd do it with a foreign fellow, wouldn't you? 1538 01:22:56,380 --> 01:22:58,130 What about the Chinese fellows? 1539 01:22:58,256 --> 01:23:00,383 Because they've not got a great reputation as lovers. 1540 01:23:00,467 --> 01:23:03,345 But they must be doing something right, because there's billions of them. 1541 01:23:03,471 --> 01:23:05,263 You've got your Germans. Ach! Very efficient. 1542 01:23:05,348 --> 01:23:08,476 Like a machine, just... In and out. 1543 01:23:08,602 --> 01:23:10,311 "I vill annex your vagina! 1544 01:23:10,396 --> 01:23:12,397 "And then Poland!" No, forgive and forget. 1545 01:23:12,481 --> 01:23:14,065 But d'you know what? I don't know about you, 1546 01:23:14,149 --> 01:23:16,609 I've never met someone who's had sex with an Eskimo. 1547 01:23:16,693 --> 01:23:18,319 Be good, wouldn't it? Because they'd start with the noses 1548 01:23:18,404 --> 01:23:20,488 and then they'd, ooh, get down, you know, with the... 1549 01:23:21,281 --> 01:23:24,784 Do you think they do that down there? Not using the... Just... On the nose. 1550 01:23:26,078 --> 01:23:27,829 I bet you've had a few of them, yeah. And him. 1551 01:23:27,913 --> 01:23:29,080 No, good luck to you. 1552 01:23:30,165 --> 01:23:33,209 - Thanks. - But, I mean, you did it. One year! 1553 01:23:33,293 --> 01:23:34,419 - Yay! - Yay! 1554 01:23:34,503 --> 01:23:36,170 Don't you clap. 1555 01:23:37,089 --> 01:23:39,090 Go on, give that twat of a husband another call. 1556 01:23:39,174 --> 01:23:40,258 Don't use your phone, use mine. 1557 01:23:40,342 --> 01:23:43,220 Because sometimes he avoids you if he sees your name come up on the caller ID. 1558 01:24:22,345 --> 01:24:25,515 Oh, God. Happy anniversary! 1559 01:24:29,812 --> 01:24:31,813 Naomi arranged it. 1560 01:24:33,191 --> 01:24:34,983 Happy one year. 1561 01:24:35,818 --> 01:24:37,235 I need to tell you something, Nat. 1562 01:24:39,530 --> 01:24:41,740 I just think you're the most incredible woman. 1563 01:24:42,033 --> 01:24:44,117 - Aw! - How about that? 1564 01:24:44,202 --> 01:24:46,119 So beautiful. 1565 01:24:46,496 --> 01:24:49,456 And smart and bright and funny. 1566 01:24:50,208 --> 01:24:51,291 You're perfect. 1567 01:24:52,376 --> 01:24:54,712 - You're the perfect wife. - Aw, sweet. 1568 01:24:58,050 --> 01:24:59,133 But just not for me. 1569 01:25:01,053 --> 01:25:03,429 I've waited my whole life for the right girl to show up. 1570 01:25:03,847 --> 01:25:05,599 And it turns out that you weren't it. 1571 01:25:06,100 --> 01:25:09,269 I don't find the way that you crinkle your nose when you laugh adorable, 1572 01:25:09,354 --> 01:25:10,646 the way you flick your hair, 1573 01:25:10,730 --> 01:25:12,231 - it's quite frankly irritating. - Hear, hear. 1574 01:25:12,315 --> 01:25:14,316 I wanted to cherish everything about you, 1575 01:25:14,400 --> 01:25:17,361 but it just didn't happen. 1576 01:25:19,614 --> 01:25:21,406 So I guess what I'm trying to say is... 1577 01:25:22,408 --> 01:25:23,951 Natasha Moss... 1578 01:25:25,411 --> 01:25:26,745 will you divorce me? 1579 01:25:29,082 --> 01:25:30,500 Yes. 1580 01:25:30,584 --> 01:25:33,169 Yes. Yes! I will! 1581 01:25:33,254 --> 01:25:35,004 - I absolutely will! - That's so amazing! 1582 01:25:35,089 --> 01:25:36,839 - Do you really mean it? - Absolutely! 1583 01:25:36,924 --> 01:25:40,009 I've been waiting for this moment for months, hoping it would happen. 1584 01:25:40,094 --> 01:25:41,386 I can't believe that you asked me. 1585 01:25:41,470 --> 01:25:42,929 Why didn't you just say something, then? 1586 01:25:43,013 --> 01:25:45,933 I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I thought it would break your heart. 1587 01:25:46,268 --> 01:25:49,645 You've made me the happiest woman in the world. 1588 01:25:50,772 --> 01:25:51,814 I love you. 1589 01:25:52,148 --> 01:25:53,274 But you're not in love with me. 1590 01:25:53,358 --> 01:25:55,526 No! God, no. 1591 01:25:55,610 --> 01:25:57,486 Unequivocally not in love with you. 1592 01:25:57,862 --> 01:26:00,030 The opposite. The opposite of love. Misery. 1593 01:26:00,115 --> 01:26:02,032 Me, too! 1594 01:26:02,784 --> 01:26:04,952 I can't believe we felt the same for so long. 1595 01:26:05,036 --> 01:26:08,832 Well, listen, now we have the rest of our lives 1596 01:26:09,208 --> 01:26:10,500 not to be together. 1597 01:26:13,588 --> 01:26:14,921 Cheers? 1598 01:26:15,006 --> 01:26:17,257 Look, this is amazing, it's magical. 1599 01:26:17,341 --> 01:26:18,508 It's better than I could ever have imagined, 1600 01:26:18,593 --> 01:26:20,385 but there's somewhere else that I really need to be right now. 1601 01:26:20,469 --> 01:26:22,596 Oh, go! Seriously, go. Do you need money for a cab? 1602 01:26:22,680 --> 01:26:23,722 No, I'm all right, I'm in the car, 1603 01:26:23,806 --> 01:26:25,725 but it was a nightmare trying to park, so I'm basically in a... 1604 01:26:25,809 --> 01:26:28,936 Oh, God, stop it. Stop it. It's so boring. 1605 01:26:29,021 --> 01:26:30,730 - It's just, the car's in your name... - It's so boring. 1606 01:26:30,814 --> 01:26:32,898 - We should sort that out, actually. - It's so boring. I don't care. 1607 01:26:32,983 --> 01:26:35,067 - All right, but... - Honestly. Just go. 1608 01:26:48,499 --> 01:26:51,335 I will never have to see you again. 1609 01:26:52,420 --> 01:26:53,920 Ever. 1610 01:26:59,010 --> 01:27:00,510 Taxi! 1611 01:27:16,570 --> 01:27:17,946 Ta-da! 1612 01:27:18,531 --> 01:27:20,115 Oh, wow! 1613 01:27:20,200 --> 01:27:22,743 I've always wanted to go to Aachen. 1614 01:27:24,746 --> 01:27:27,289 No, uh, we're going to Paris. 1615 01:27:27,415 --> 01:27:28,666 Paris. 1616 01:27:29,668 --> 01:27:32,628 Ah! Okay. Joke! 1617 01:27:33,213 --> 01:27:34,755 - Yeah. - Yeah! 1618 01:27:48,688 --> 01:27:50,689 - I'm thinking two kids. - Oh! 1619 01:27:50,773 --> 01:27:53,651 - Guy Junior and Gaia. - Wait! Wait, stop! 1620 01:27:54,736 --> 01:27:55,861 - Stand back. - Oh, my God. 1621 01:27:57,239 --> 01:27:58,864 I can't be without you, Chloe. 1622 01:27:59,449 --> 01:28:01,033 I think about you every second of the day. 1623 01:28:02,452 --> 01:28:03,577 I need to be with you. 1624 01:28:04,121 --> 01:28:05,371 And I know you want to be with me as well. 1625 01:28:05,455 --> 01:28:06,622 What the hell are you doing? 1626 01:28:06,707 --> 01:28:09,166 You can't just turn up and try and steal my girlfriend away. 1627 01:28:09,251 --> 01:28:11,419 You're married. You're a married man. 1628 01:28:11,461 --> 01:28:13,129 You should get out of here, creep. 1629 01:28:13,547 --> 01:28:14,547 I split up with Nat. 1630 01:28:14,631 --> 01:28:16,966 - You split up with Nat? - You split up with Nat? 1631 01:28:17,342 --> 01:28:19,969 Ever since you came back into my life, I've known that I had to be with you. 1632 01:28:21,972 --> 01:28:24,557 When I lie in bed, I think about the way that you laugh. 1633 01:28:25,142 --> 01:28:28,187 I can't work because I can't stop imagining our lives together. 1634 01:28:29,106 --> 01:28:32,608 You're everything that I've ever wanted in a... 1635 01:28:34,153 --> 01:28:36,779 - Nat?! - Josh? What... 1636 01:28:39,032 --> 01:28:40,908 What? What? 1637 01:28:41,118 --> 01:28:42,410 Okay, sorry. 1638 01:28:44,496 --> 01:28:47,790 Nat, we spoke about this, didn't we? 1639 01:28:48,333 --> 01:28:50,042 - It's not gonna work out. - No, I, uh... 1640 01:28:50,127 --> 01:28:51,461 - Actually, I'm... - I'm not gonna change my mind. 1641 01:28:51,587 --> 01:28:53,963 - I don't care what you say. - I'm, uh... 1642 01:28:55,007 --> 01:28:57,592 - I'm not here to see you. - What are you doing? 1643 01:28:58,010 --> 01:28:59,469 I'm actually not here to see you. 1644 01:28:59,553 --> 01:29:01,387 What do you mean, you're not actually here to see me? 1645 01:29:02,347 --> 01:29:03,849 Him! 1646 01:29:04,225 --> 01:29:05,517 - Really? - And you... 1647 01:29:05,894 --> 01:29:07,854 - Her, yeah. - Her, of course. 1648 01:29:07,938 --> 01:29:09,397 You're perfect for each other. 1649 01:29:09,482 --> 01:29:12,567 And I always thought he was much more the kind of guy that you should go for. 1650 01:29:12,651 --> 01:29:14,277 Do you remember when I said to you when I was trying to... 1651 01:29:14,361 --> 01:29:15,945 Oh, I do remember that! I remember when you said that, 1652 01:29:16,030 --> 01:29:17,614 and at the time, I agreed. 1653 01:29:17,740 --> 01:29:18,782 And I thought in my mind, 1654 01:29:18,866 --> 01:29:20,033 "I think he's right, I should be with him." 1655 01:29:20,117 --> 01:29:22,911 That's what I wanted. 1656 01:29:22,995 --> 01:29:25,288 Ah! And here we are. 1657 01:29:25,664 --> 01:29:26,748 Here we are. 1658 01:29:27,458 --> 01:29:30,460 And where were you? Had you been explaining 1659 01:29:30,544 --> 01:29:32,462 - the bit about us... - Us breaking up, yeah. 1660 01:29:32,588 --> 01:29:34,798 I was just explaining to Chloe why I was in love with her. 1661 01:29:36,926 --> 01:29:40,721 Okay, is it just me, or is this unbelievably awkward? 1662 01:29:40,806 --> 01:29:41,972 Look at that. 1663 01:29:42,057 --> 01:29:43,891 She's got that dry sense of humour that you like. 1664 01:29:43,975 --> 01:29:45,893 I mean, I just don't have that. 1665 01:29:45,977 --> 01:29:50,106 And this guy, forget about it. Unbelievable. 1666 01:29:50,733 --> 01:29:52,901 Proper grade-A hunk. 1667 01:29:52,985 --> 01:29:54,444 I could just drink you in. 1668 01:29:55,029 --> 01:29:56,488 Thanks. 1669 01:29:58,074 --> 01:30:02,244 But this lady here, she's incredible. 1670 01:30:03,162 --> 01:30:05,914 And you make her eyes light up in a way that I never could. 1671 01:30:10,920 --> 01:30:12,921 Would you mind... 1672 01:30:13,005 --> 01:30:15,091 No, no, uh... please. 1673 01:30:15,843 --> 01:30:17,051 Would it be all right if I... 1674 01:30:17,135 --> 01:30:18,511 Of course. 1675 01:30:19,304 --> 01:30:20,721 Thank you. 1676 01:30:26,395 --> 01:30:27,854 - Thank you. - Oh! 1677 01:30:27,938 --> 01:30:30,023 - That's nice. - Sorry. 1678 01:30:31,776 --> 01:30:34,236 No, not you, we don't want to do that. 1679 01:30:34,320 --> 01:30:36,780 Never again. Come around this side. 1680 01:30:36,865 --> 01:30:38,532 Hi. 1681 01:30:45,415 --> 01:30:47,291 - This is a bit weird. - This is weird, isn't it? 1682 01:30:47,375 --> 01:30:48,792 - Yeah. - We'll go. 1683 01:30:48,877 --> 01:30:50,628 - Let's go over here. - No, we'll go. 1684 01:31:37,970 --> 01:31:39,721 - Who had the chicken feet? - I did. 1685 01:31:39,805 --> 01:31:41,306 You had the chicken feet. 1686 01:31:41,390 --> 01:31:43,683 - We didn't have a starter. - No, no. 1687 01:31:43,768 --> 01:31:46,019 And we didn't have the champagne. 1688 01:31:46,103 --> 01:31:49,565 We spent £45,000 on a wedding to your prick son! 1689 01:31:49,650 --> 01:31:52,860 You can chip in for a bit of fucking dim sum! 1690 01:32:22,558 --> 01:32:23,892 All right, pause, pause, pause. 1691 01:32:23,977 --> 01:32:25,018 I'll tell you what we'll do. 1692 01:32:25,103 --> 01:32:28,605 We'll make a list of pros and cons, right, of Nat. 1693 01:32:28,690 --> 01:32:32,735 Pros. Number one, body. 1694 01:32:32,820 --> 01:32:35,738 Excellent. I've seen it nude, loved it. 1695 01:32:35,823 --> 01:32:37,533 I beg your pardon? When have you seen it nude? 1696 01:32:37,826 --> 01:32:40,244 Well, when we were down in that place in Cornwall, 1697 01:32:40,328 --> 01:32:42,121 I sort of walked in when she was getting changed. 1698 01:32:42,205 --> 01:32:43,580 - What do you mean, you walked in... - "Accidentally." 1699 01:32:43,665 --> 01:32:45,874 - What's that? What's that? - Hey, listen, I'll tell you, 1700 01:32:45,959 --> 01:32:49,169 you lock your door or these peepers will come a-roving. 1701 01:32:49,337 --> 01:32:52,172 All right, mate? That's the way I roll. 1702 01:32:52,257 --> 01:32:53,924 You know that, she should know that. 1703 01:32:54,009 --> 01:32:56,301 What about that she's, um... 1704 01:32:57,554 --> 01:32:59,096 - Kind... - Boring. 1705 01:32:59,180 --> 01:33:00,764 ...and warm. 1706 01:33:00,849 --> 01:33:02,808 Warm? Put the radiator on if you want warm. 1707 01:33:02,892 --> 01:33:04,893 And, um, good with kids. 1708 01:33:05,020 --> 01:33:07,187 So was Michael Jackson. Look at that marriage. It didn't last. 1709 01:33:08,857 --> 01:33:09,857 Yeah, but I love her. 1710 01:33:09,941 --> 01:33:11,443 - Love. - Well, I do. 1711 01:33:11,527 --> 01:33:12,737 Yeah, sounds a bit gay. 1712 01:33:13,196 --> 01:33:14,447 We can get back out there like the lads. 1713 01:33:14,531 --> 01:33:16,949 Like the old days, you know? The Terrible Two. 1714 01:33:17,034 --> 01:33:18,034 Do you know what I mean? 1715 01:33:18,118 --> 01:33:19,952 "Lock up your daughters. And your mothers." 1716 01:33:20,037 --> 01:33:21,287 I'm not fussy. 1717 01:33:21,621 --> 01:33:23,664 Every time I open my mouth when I'm around her, she's like, 1718 01:33:23,749 --> 01:33:25,916 "No, don't say that. You can't say that. 1719 01:33:26,001 --> 01:33:27,043 "You can't do that. 1720 01:33:27,377 --> 01:33:30,296 "Put your trousers on! Put your trousers on! We're in a restaurant!" 1721 01:33:30,380 --> 01:33:32,631 - Oh, shut up. - Well, she's...