1 00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:07,314 Entertainment Five Minutes Ago. 2 00:00:07,395 --> 00:00:10,222 The entertainment program so now, if you're watching it, 3 00:00:10,309 --> 00:00:12,183 you're already living in the past... 4 00:00:12,545 --> 00:00:13,941 Hey, that's me! 5 00:00:14,022 --> 00:00:16,089 Tonight, on Entertainment Five Minutes ago, 6 00:00:16,178 --> 00:00:17,450 we ask the question... 7 00:00:17,536 --> 00:00:19,728 Whatever happened to Johnny Bravo? 8 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,560 What kind of question is that? 9 00:00:22,846 --> 00:00:25,072 I'm right here man. Living the dream. 10 00:00:25,161 --> 00:00:26,717 From wannabe stud... 11 00:00:28,156 --> 00:00:29,224 Man, I love me. 12 00:00:29,314 --> 00:00:31,301 To wannabe socialite... 13 00:00:31,390 --> 00:00:32,264 Wannabe? 14 00:00:32,348 --> 00:00:34,097 Why do they keep saying wannabe? 15 00:00:38,417 --> 00:00:40,324 To wannabe TV host... 16 00:00:40,413 --> 00:00:41,526 It's wasabi! 17 00:00:41,611 --> 00:00:43,802 The writers are trying to say I'm "hot" in Japanese! 18 00:00:43,886 --> 00:00:45,113 Learn to read, man! 19 00:00:47,679 --> 00:00:50,314 And, tonight, we answer... who cares? 20 00:00:50,394 --> 00:00:53,982 Because we've got an exclusive with Bobby Goodlookinson, 21 00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:56,861 star of "Sparkle Vampire in Love." 22 00:01:02,332 --> 00:01:03,081 Jeeves! 23 00:01:03,929 --> 00:01:05,916 Jeeves, where's my deep fried peanut butter 24 00:01:06,005 --> 00:01:07,356 and banana sandwich pizza burger 25 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,793 and my deep fried milkshake to wash it down? 26 00:01:12,353 --> 00:01:13,386 Did you see that? 27 00:01:13,671 --> 00:01:16,657 They bumped my spot for some freak with an overbite! 28 00:01:16,745 --> 00:01:18,335 What are they trying to say? 29 00:01:18,422 --> 00:01:21,931 That all chicks dig is skinny dudes with feelings! 30 00:01:23,772 --> 00:01:26,724 I know it's not your fault that my superstardom somehow got 31 00:01:26,806 --> 00:01:28,202 sucked into a black hole. 32 00:01:28,563 --> 00:01:30,391 What's up with Hollywood nowadays? 33 00:01:30,479 --> 00:01:33,591 When did buff and pretty give way to whiny and pasty? 34 00:01:33,673 --> 00:01:37,137 Where are all the parts for the awesome dudes of the world? 35 00:01:37,985 --> 00:01:40,018 Man, I even made that... 36 00:01:40,421 --> 00:01:41,852 that thing... 37 00:01:42,576 --> 00:01:46,802 The Audition Tape that I posted on the Internet and can't erase! 38 00:01:48,126 --> 00:01:49,194 It's alright little buddy. 39 00:01:49,284 --> 00:01:51,998 I gotcha. You don't have to watch that thing again. 40 00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:53,952 And again. And again. 41 00:01:55,832 --> 00:01:58,580 After all the hotness I've brought to the world, 42 00:01:58,666 --> 00:02:01,051 you'd think the world would wanna give something back... 43 00:02:01,142 --> 00:02:04,333 It's official: Hollywood is dead. 44 00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:06,971 Long live Bollywood. 45 00:02:07,051 --> 00:02:09,606 The Indian film industry is where it's at. 46 00:02:09,686 --> 00:02:12,355 A place where stars are worshipped like gods 47 00:02:12,441 --> 00:02:14,076 and the women are so gorgeous 48 00:02:14,157 --> 00:02:16,508 they make Hollywood actresses look like something 49 00:02:16,593 --> 00:02:18,943 that a booger with a hair in it would puke up. 50 00:02:20,905 --> 00:02:22,098 Bollywood, huh. 51 00:02:22,582 --> 00:02:23,331 Aw man! 52 00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:25,327 That's got Bravo written all over it! 53 00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:27,370 Cause, y'know, they both begin with the letter 54 00:02:28,131 --> 00:02:28,688 "Buh!" 55 00:02:29,050 --> 00:02:30,764 Jeeves! Pack your things! 56 00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:33,118 We're gonna go make us some Indian movies! 57 00:02:33,202 --> 00:02:35,235 ...in Indiana! 58 00:02:45,898 --> 00:02:48,646 The Indians are gonna love me. 59 00:04:38,257 --> 00:04:39,612 You rang? 60 00:04:41,299 --> 00:04:43,052 I mean... you rang? 61 00:04:45,222 --> 00:04:45,973 What's this? 62 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,102 A letter from Johnny? 63 00:04:49,264 --> 00:04:51,223 Johnny wrote a whole letter? 64 00:04:51,546 --> 00:04:53,458 Using the alphabet? 65 00:04:55,148 --> 00:04:58,063 Dear Mama, if you are reading this, 66 00:04:58,150 --> 00:05:00,188 it means that I am dead... 67 00:05:01,632 --> 00:05:06,426 Oh, Johnny Johnny... Noooo...? 68 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:13,356 ...dead keen on becoming the biggest star in Bollywood, Indiana. 69 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,840 Love Johnny. 70 00:05:15,642 --> 00:05:18,716 Wait... Did he say Indiana? 71 00:05:39,177 --> 00:05:41,648 I told Jeeves a direct flight to Indiana 72 00:05:41,739 --> 00:05:45,530 72 hours... 5 stopovers. Four different countries? 73 00:05:46,222 --> 00:05:48,533 Oh well. I guess coach class beats... 74 00:05:49,064 --> 00:05:50,179 air class. 75 00:06:06,395 --> 00:06:09,469 My new body is quite the excellent treat. 76 00:06:10,077 --> 00:06:11,671 Such gracefulness. 77 00:06:12,359 --> 00:06:14,158 I am like the space-tiger. 78 00:06:15,841 --> 00:06:17,435 Hello, flying lizard. 79 00:06:17,522 --> 00:06:19,834 Prepare for me to insert my tail 80 00:06:19,924 --> 00:06:22,964 in your ear and make you my life pet. 81 00:06:23,686 --> 00:06:26,965 Oh, mama... this guy's the worst actor since... 82 00:06:27,369 --> 00:06:29,088 since the guy from the real movie. 83 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:32,525 You are mistaken. That is Jiggy. 84 00:06:32,612 --> 00:06:34,651 He is Bollywood's biggest star. 85 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:35,725 That guy? 86 00:06:36,135 --> 00:06:37,774 That's my competition? 87 00:06:39,217 --> 00:06:42,097 This fame thing just got way too easy! 88 00:06:42,178 --> 00:06:47,018 Jiggy... Jiggy..Jiggy... 89 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,834 Johnny Bin the house! Who loves me? 90 00:07:13,919 --> 00:07:16,595 And I want answers Indiana! 91 00:07:26,328 --> 00:07:27,318 Tough crowd. 92 00:07:33,852 --> 00:07:36,846 Aight, lemmee see, cows, Indians... 93 00:07:36,935 --> 00:07:38,893 Not so many cowboys. 94 00:07:46,501 --> 00:07:50,896 "No wannabe superstars. Approach at you own peril ." 95 00:07:52,545 --> 00:07:54,139 Jeeves. You go first and be my peril. 96 00:08:01,591 --> 00:08:03,265 Good afternoon, sir. 97 00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:06,153 Welcome to Bollywood Studios. Please enter. 98 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,475 Good afternoon, sir. 99 00:08:16,561 --> 00:08:19,281 Welcome to Bollywood Studios. Now please get out... 100 00:08:19,643 --> 00:08:21,362 Sorry, no time to lose, pops. 101 00:08:21,444 --> 00:08:24,086 I've got a date with Destiny. 102 00:08:24,166 --> 00:08:27,240 And if I play my cards right, maybe her younger, cuter sister. 103 00:08:28,568 --> 00:08:30,163 You don't understand, you're old. 104 00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:34,041 Sir, you cannot come charging in here like a bull at a gate. 105 00:08:34,132 --> 00:08:36,250 Oh yeah? Who's gonna stop me? 106 00:08:38,455 --> 00:08:39,969 The bull at the gate. 107 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:41,733 Yowsa! 108 00:08:48,822 --> 00:08:52,055 Jiggy again? This cat's beginning to dog me. 109 00:08:52,744 --> 00:08:55,420 Now shooting: Bindiana Jaihones 110 00:08:55,506 --> 00:08:59,503 and the Lost Crystal Head-Bone of the Doomed Golden Monkey Temple. 111 00:09:00,830 --> 00:09:03,141 Indiana's biggest star my foot... 112 00:09:03,231 --> 00:09:04,506 Lookit that guy's hair! 113 00:09:04,592 --> 00:09:05,708 You call that a coiff? 114 00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:22,596 Hello, suddenly lame yet inconsequential peasant, 115 00:09:22,684 --> 00:09:23,481 it is I, 116 00:09:23,805 --> 00:09:25,922 Jiggy, Bollywood's biggest star. 117 00:09:26,006 --> 00:09:28,648 Please accept these coins as compensation 118 00:09:28,728 --> 00:09:31,165 for the possible permanent loss of your tootsies. 119 00:09:32,010 --> 00:09:32,603 Ouchy. 120 00:09:35,212 --> 00:09:35,884 Again. 121 00:09:39,455 --> 00:09:40,969 Get a real job! 122 00:09:47,701 --> 00:09:49,659 Good morning, Mr Jiggy. 123 00:09:49,742 --> 00:09:53,533 You are looking particularly star-like and handsome today. 124 00:09:53,865 --> 00:09:55,857 Jiggy! Jiggy! It's me, Pinky. 125 00:09:56,146 --> 00:09:57,342 And me, Shinky! 126 00:09:57,427 --> 00:10:00,069 Remember us? We're your number one fans. 127 00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:01,225 Remember? 128 00:10:01,830 --> 00:10:03,151 How could I forget? 129 00:10:03,231 --> 00:10:04,950 When I come to work, you're here. 130 00:10:05,032 --> 00:10:06,546 When I leave, you're there. 131 00:10:06,633 --> 00:10:07,908 When I'm on the red carpet, 132 00:10:07,994 --> 00:10:08,904 who should I see...? 133 00:10:08,995 --> 00:10:09,666 Us? 134 00:10:09,955 --> 00:10:12,676 Now, for the umpteenth time. 135 00:10:12,757 --> 00:10:15,672 I'm a self indulgent mega millionare 136 00:10:15,759 --> 00:10:17,034 who just wants to be loved 137 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,600 and adored from afar. 138 00:10:19,962 --> 00:10:21,954 Very afar! 139 00:10:25,806 --> 00:10:27,160 He remembers us! 140 00:10:28,287 --> 00:10:29,926 Get areal job, huh? 141 00:10:30,489 --> 00:10:32,288 Well... Looks like I gotta do what any 142 00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:34,932 good looking actor with no connections needs to do 143 00:10:35,292 --> 00:10:36,931 get a job as a waiter and get discovered 144 00:10:37,013 --> 00:10:39,575 by someone with an eye for super-hotness. 145 00:10:39,655 --> 00:10:40,930 You look confused. 146 00:10:41,496 --> 00:10:44,616 No, you're mistaking confused for goofy. 147 00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:47,737 Look, little ladies, 148 00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:49,738 I'm just trying to figure out a way to get a job 149 00:10:49,821 --> 00:10:52,542 as a waiter so I can be discovered as a Bollywood hunk. 150 00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:54,864 You mean a tiffin-wallah... 151 00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:56,505 Watch your tongue, missy! 152 00:10:56,586 --> 00:10:58,146 Do you talk to your mama with that mouth? 153 00:11:00,148 --> 00:11:02,869 No. She said tiffin-wallah. 154 00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:04,350 A tiffa-wuh...? who's in a watna? 155 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,184 Tiffin-wallah! 156 00:11:06,552 --> 00:11:10,185 Tiiiif... iiiiin... 157 00:11:10,715 --> 00:11:12,275 Tiffin-wallah!! 158 00:11:14,878 --> 00:11:17,633 Hey, man, less holler, or no wallah. 159 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,200 Let's see now... 160 00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:24,038 Give me a rogan josh on roti, hold the raita. 161 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:25,964 And make it snappy. Time is money. 162 00:11:26,045 --> 00:11:27,081 We're losing light here. 163 00:11:27,606 --> 00:11:28,677 Hot dog! 164 00:11:28,767 --> 00:11:31,841 That's gotta be a gen-u-ine Bollywood Director and Producer. 165 00:11:32,329 --> 00:11:35,723 All I've got to do is get them to see my fabulous face and pow! 166 00:11:35,812 --> 00:11:36,802 Instant stardom. 167 00:11:38,013 --> 00:11:39,971 Sit a spell, fellow tiddly-widdly. 168 00:11:40,054 --> 00:11:41,045 I've got this one. 169 00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:41,853 Hit me. 170 00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:49,333 Look out. 171 00:11:49,421 --> 00:11:50,650 Hot stuff coming through. 172 00:11:50,741 --> 00:11:51,891 Namely, me! 173 00:11:53,783 --> 00:11:54,854 Beautiful! 174 00:11:55,184 --> 00:11:56,255 Why thank you. 175 00:11:57,786 --> 00:11:58,697 Spicy! 176 00:11:58,787 --> 00:11:59,936 I am hot, aren't I? 177 00:12:00,028 --> 00:12:01,063 A little chewy! 178 00:12:01,148 --> 00:12:02,059 Chewy? 179 00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:05,588 On, look there's Jiggy! 180 00:12:07,112 --> 00:12:09,424 That show pony's gonna steal my show. 181 00:12:09,514 --> 00:12:11,074 Time to use my head. 182 00:12:11,635 --> 00:12:14,595 Hey! Stop eating and feast your eyes on this. 183 00:12:16,879 --> 00:12:17,550 My eyes! 184 00:12:17,639 --> 00:12:18,550 I'm blind. 185 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,234 Bliiiiind! 186 00:12:20,441 --> 00:12:21,033 Hold on now. 187 00:12:21,121 --> 00:12:22,921 What you need is some o' that Lassie milk. 188 00:12:25,724 --> 00:12:27,603 Come on Mama Dog, give it up. 189 00:12:27,686 --> 00:12:28,801 Give it up for Johnny. 190 00:12:29,927 --> 00:12:31,282 No not the face! 191 00:12:33,049 --> 00:12:34,643 Disgraceful! 192 00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:36,170 Tend to Jiggy's table. 193 00:12:36,251 --> 00:12:37,481 I will clean up your mess. 194 00:12:39,373 --> 00:12:40,284 Lemmee guess. 195 00:12:40,574 --> 00:12:41,167 By the look of you, 196 00:12:41,255 --> 00:12:43,611 you want something tired and boring, hold the talent. 197 00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,574 Actually, I'd like to see the specials. 198 00:12:45,658 --> 00:12:48,048 Because I can't see anything special in front of me. 199 00:12:48,139 --> 00:12:50,017 No, forget that, I'll have the soup of the day. 200 00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:53,094 Nice and hot, and that's I thanks. 201 00:12:53,543 --> 00:12:55,421 You asked for it, you got it. 202 00:13:00,507 --> 00:13:02,659 This'll fix his little red wagon... 203 00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:07,349 I tell you, Ahmet, 204 00:13:07,432 --> 00:13:11,906 I keep getting this strange feeling someone wants to do me harm. 205 00:13:12,955 --> 00:13:17,031 Nonsense. Who would ever wish harm on such a handsome being? 206 00:13:18,279 --> 00:13:20,112 Soup's up. Eat it while its.. 207 00:13:22,041 --> 00:13:23,316 Little heavy on the spices. 208 00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:24,632 She's gonna blow... 209 00:13:32,809 --> 00:13:34,562 I guess a tip is out of the question? Huh? 210 00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:49,537 Ahmet you thought I was kiddin, 211 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,849 you thought I was wrong. 212 00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:53,411 I don't to die early. 213 00:13:53,502 --> 00:13:56,383 What I need is a song. 214 00:15:11,874 --> 00:15:15,153 Sometimes I think Jiggy doesn't treat us with respect. 215 00:15:15,636 --> 00:15:18,471 Sometimes I think Jiggy doesn't even like us. 216 00:15:18,878 --> 00:15:22,237 Sometimes I wonder if my smile is prettier than my hair. 217 00:15:23,842 --> 00:15:26,962 Do you ever think about anything besides you? 218 00:15:27,044 --> 00:15:29,241 Nope. My smile and my hair are equally pretty. 219 00:15:32,647 --> 00:15:34,925 You really want to be a Bollywood hunk 220 00:15:35,009 --> 00:15:36,887 and knock Jiggy off his pedestal? 221 00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:39,009 You bet your bindis I do. 222 00:15:39,532 --> 00:15:40,408 Here's the deal. 223 00:15:40,493 --> 00:15:43,533 We give you the secret to Jiggy's star power... 224 00:15:43,615 --> 00:15:48,294 ...and help you achieve Bollywood megastardom. 225 00:15:48,858 --> 00:15:52,934 In return, you will make me your agent and Shinky your manager. 226 00:15:53,941 --> 00:15:56,332 They do say that two heads are better than one. 227 00:15:56,983 --> 00:15:59,818 In this case, that makes one, two, 228 00:16:01,506 --> 00:16:02,941 more than two. 229 00:16:03,027 --> 00:16:04,302 So what do you say? 230 00:16:04,388 --> 00:16:05,220 Little ladies, 231 00:16:05,829 --> 00:16:07,059 you got yourselves a deal. 232 00:16:07,871 --> 00:16:09,100 So what's the big secret? 233 00:16:09,512 --> 00:16:10,104 That! 234 00:16:12,874 --> 00:16:15,709 I know what you're thinking. 235 00:16:16,396 --> 00:16:20,791 "How can I be like Jiggy and live a life of fame, 236 00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:24,078 fortune and have the women of my dreams?" 237 00:16:25,082 --> 00:16:26,801 It's like he's reading my mind. 238 00:16:26,883 --> 00:16:27,554 Well, you can't. 239 00:16:27,884 --> 00:16:29,876 There is only one Jiggy. 240 00:16:30,245 --> 00:16:32,966 But you can almost feel like you can. 241 00:16:33,047 --> 00:16:36,121 With this: Jiggy's Jiggalicious Hair Gel 2.0. 242 00:16:36,770 --> 00:16:38,124 If there's women to be had, 243 00:16:38,210 --> 00:16:39,964 then I has to had them! 244 00:16:40,052 --> 00:16:42,613 No, Johnny! That hair gel is a ruse. 245 00:16:42,693 --> 00:16:43,525 A rip-off. 246 00:16:44,014 --> 00:16:46,656 So when you say rip-off, is that a good thing? 247 00:16:46,736 --> 00:16:48,091 Cause it sounds like a good thing. 248 00:16:48,857 --> 00:16:49,814 Forget that hair-gel. 249 00:16:49,898 --> 00:16:51,458 It has lost all its power. 250 00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:55,415 Jiggy recycles his own used hair-gel 251 00:16:55,502 --> 00:16:58,178 that he uses so much of the original gunk he buys 252 00:16:58,264 --> 00:17:00,302 to gain power over his fan. 253 00:17:00,745 --> 00:17:03,865 You mean, he resells his used hair-gel? 254 00:17:04,868 --> 00:17:06,826 So if you want to be adored like Jiggy, 255 00:17:06,909 --> 00:17:08,469 you've got to get the fresh stuff. 256 00:17:08,951 --> 00:17:10,829 From the secret source. 257 00:17:11,432 --> 00:17:15,190 Waitasec, if it's so secret how come you two know about it? 258 00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:18,516 Because we weren't just Jiggy's number one fans... 259 00:17:18,917 --> 00:17:21,638 We're also his number one stalkers... 260 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,117 followers! 261 00:17:27,483 --> 00:17:29,441 Give me the stuff, man. 262 00:17:29,844 --> 00:17:33,044 I need it. I'll pay anything... 263 00:17:33,127 --> 00:17:35,517 Very well, But first, 264 00:17:35,608 --> 00:17:37,886 do that dance I like... 265 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:39,122 Dance! 266 00:17:43,413 --> 00:17:45,452 What have I become? 267 00:17:48,737 --> 00:17:49,454 What! Who's there? 268 00:17:49,537 --> 00:17:50,972 He's see's us... run... 269 00:17:51,659 --> 00:17:53,731 Creepy. And that's just you two. 270 00:17:53,820 --> 00:17:55,539 I think we need to take you to... 271 00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:58,298 ...the Voodoo Guru! 272 00:18:03,387 --> 00:18:04,900 Man, you need to man up. 273 00:18:04,988 --> 00:18:07,982 Or... monkey up. Or just up it, man. 274 00:18:40,011 --> 00:18:40,728 What the...? 275 00:18:41,652 --> 00:18:43,371 Ok, who's gonna knock? 276 00:18:43,453 --> 00:18:45,923 Why? You scaaaaaaaared, Johnny? 277 00:18:46,015 --> 00:18:49,009 Only of how talented I am. Now step aside... 278 00:18:53,339 --> 00:18:55,651 Enter... Johnny Bravo. 279 00:18:56,581 --> 00:18:57,652 He knows your name. 280 00:18:57,742 --> 00:18:59,541 That's right. Represent... 281 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:12,672 Like what you've done to the place. 282 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,790 Must be a real magnet for the ladies... 283 00:19:15,234 --> 00:19:17,465 the Craaaaazy ladies. 284 00:19:18,716 --> 00:19:21,107 I see all, Johnny Bravo. 285 00:19:21,198 --> 00:19:23,429 I see that you are... 286 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,400 Impatient and rude. 287 00:19:26,841 --> 00:19:28,435 Can we just cut to the chase? 288 00:19:28,683 --> 00:19:30,277 Do you have a secret magical hair gel 289 00:19:30,364 --> 00:19:32,959 that will give me extra-hotness powers or not? 290 00:19:33,045 --> 00:19:37,998 I do. But first I must show you the process by which it is made... 291 00:19:38,409 --> 00:19:40,401 Ok, Guru Boy, just make it quick. 292 00:19:40,490 --> 00:19:43,484 The women of Bollywood have waited long enough. 293 00:19:44,413 --> 00:19:46,850 I start with the sweat extracted 294 00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:50,248 from the users of infomercial weight-loss machines. 295 00:19:50,697 --> 00:19:54,215 Then I add the tears of a teenage girl 296 00:19:54,299 --> 00:19:57,419 who's woken up with a zit on the night of her prom. 297 00:19:58,182 --> 00:19:59,139 And, finally, 298 00:19:59,223 --> 00:20:04,744 I infuse it with the stolen sighs of lovelorn celebrity worshippers 299 00:20:04,826 --> 00:20:10,667 of teen-dreamboat Bobby Goodlookinson in "Sparkle Vampire in Love." 300 00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:14,303 Darling, let's not get all hot and kissy. 301 00:20:14,393 --> 00:20:17,547 Let's stay up all night talking about feelings. 302 00:20:18,275 --> 00:20:21,953 I love loving you, my lovely love... 303 00:20:22,038 --> 00:20:24,553 Somebody needs get that guy some spray tan. 304 00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:33,841 And, behold - the very distillation of heartbreak and desperation 305 00:20:33,926 --> 00:20:37,523 mixed with pure self-loathing and vanity. 306 00:20:38,008 --> 00:20:39,044 Now with jojoba... 307 00:20:39,729 --> 00:20:40,526 I'll take it. 308 00:20:41,290 --> 00:20:44,125 Very well. But I must warn you... 309 00:20:44,212 --> 00:20:45,283 Can I just get the stuff? 310 00:20:45,373 --> 00:20:47,251 I don't wanna pretend like I'm listening anymore. 311 00:20:47,334 --> 00:20:50,408 So be it. And on your own head... 312 00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,531 Hair gel only on the head - got it. 313 00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:53,653 How much do I owe you? 314 00:20:53,739 --> 00:20:56,813 Oh, sir, the first one is for free. 315 00:20:56,901 --> 00:21:00,942 But the rest will cost you... your very soul. 316 00:21:04,185 --> 00:21:05,699 Really? It's free? 317 00:21:05,786 --> 00:21:07,141 Except for the part about your soul. 318 00:21:07,227 --> 00:21:08,707 So, then it's like a trade. 319 00:21:08,788 --> 00:21:10,109 Where I don't have to pay you any money? 320 00:21:10,189 --> 00:21:12,751 Basically. If you don't put any monetary value on your soul, 321 00:21:12,831 --> 00:21:14,345 then sure. You can call it a trade. 322 00:21:15,113 --> 00:21:16,707 I'm a sucker for a bargain. 323 00:21:31,243 --> 00:21:33,441 Man, that's some magic hair. 324 00:21:33,925 --> 00:21:37,045 This is too much cool to waste on some old wizard dude... 325 00:21:45,252 --> 00:21:45,970 What do you think? 326 00:21:46,053 --> 00:21:49,491 Super-fly or super-cool? You decide! 327 00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:52,897 It's okay, I guess. 328 00:21:52,977 --> 00:21:55,129 Love what you've done with your hair. 329 00:21:55,659 --> 00:21:58,221 Listen, I could stand around all day and look fantastic 330 00:21:58,301 --> 00:22:00,578 but I've got to move around and look fantastic. 331 00:22:01,543 --> 00:22:04,583 But I will give you the honor of watching me walk away. 332 00:22:49,255 --> 00:22:52,887 All this love for Johnny and not one hot chick in the crowd? 333 00:22:53,137 --> 00:22:54,253 I want my money back. 334 00:22:54,338 --> 00:22:55,534 But you got it for free. 335 00:22:55,619 --> 00:22:57,099 Then I want my nuthin' back! 336 00:22:57,180 --> 00:22:59,741 Sorry, no refunds or exchanges. 337 00:22:59,821 --> 00:23:01,381 Then what am I supposed to do? 338 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:02,862 Oh, I don't know, 339 00:23:02,944 --> 00:23:06,860 you could always... double the dose. 340 00:23:10,028 --> 00:23:12,101 Thanks, giant head. You make a lotta sense. 341 00:23:12,190 --> 00:23:13,704 Even if you are freaky. 342 00:23:22,356 --> 00:23:24,109 Man, my hair's so amazing 343 00:23:24,197 --> 00:23:26,918 I wanna die and come back as my own cootie. 344 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,193 Picture it: Jiggy is an Indian robot from the future 345 00:23:32,283 --> 00:23:35,801 who travels back in time and falls in love with a motorcycle. 346 00:23:35,885 --> 00:23:38,527 He is... the Turbanator... 347 00:23:39,488 --> 00:23:40,478 I am liking it. 348 00:23:40,568 --> 00:23:41,889 I am liking.. 349 00:23:43,050 --> 00:23:44,962 What on the planet is going on? 350 00:23:45,732 --> 00:23:54,692 John-ny... John-ny... John-ny... 351 00:23:55,258 --> 00:23:58,776 His hair... it's radiating awesomeness. 352 00:23:59,261 --> 00:24:01,492 It's even more cool than Jiggy's. 353 00:24:02,142 --> 00:24:05,661 It's true... it's... beautiful. 354 00:24:11,469 --> 00:24:15,351 Excuse me, exquisite creature blessed with dazzling follicles. 355 00:24:15,711 --> 00:24:18,353 Sorry, man, I don't speak creepazoid. 356 00:24:18,673 --> 00:24:21,633 What my associate is trying to say is that... 357 00:24:21,715 --> 00:24:24,391 we have an offer you can't refuse. 358 00:24:24,477 --> 00:24:27,358 Come with us and you can be worshipped 359 00:24:27,439 --> 00:24:29,397 by hundreds of millions of hotties. 360 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,519 Live in a palace of a thousand rooms. 361 00:24:31,602 --> 00:24:33,560 Dine on the most luxurious... 362 00:24:33,883 --> 00:24:37,082 You had me at "worshipped by hundreds of millions of hotties." 363 00:24:41,208 --> 00:24:42,882 He stepped on my head. 364 00:24:49,934 --> 00:24:52,211 I'm sure he'll come back. No biggy. 365 00:24:52,295 --> 00:24:54,254 Yeah, he's probably just telling them 366 00:24:54,337 --> 00:24:56,409 where they can take a flying leap. 367 00:25:05,144 --> 00:25:06,863 This is it, Johnny... 368 00:25:07,145 --> 00:25:09,343 Welcome to Bollywood... 369 00:25:10,627 --> 00:25:13,269 Security must be pretty lax round these parts. 370 00:25:13,349 --> 00:25:16,707 Seeing as how I was able to smuggle two guns in here... 371 00:25:26,718 --> 00:25:30,715 Ahmet, who is this prancing pony huh? 372 00:25:31,121 --> 00:25:32,317 Relax, Jiggy. 373 00:25:32,402 --> 00:25:34,599 He's just some nobody we pulled off the street... 374 00:25:34,683 --> 00:25:36,038 to be your co-star. 375 00:25:36,124 --> 00:25:37,524 What? No! 376 00:25:37,765 --> 00:25:41,159 I only work with actors who are far uglier than me. 377 00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:42,443 It's in the contract. 378 00:25:42,528 --> 00:25:45,090 Jiggy, he is but mere eye-candy. 379 00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:47,368 And what does eye candy do? 380 00:25:47,452 --> 00:25:49,569 It... stickies up the eyeballs 381 00:25:49,653 --> 00:25:52,568 and attracts ants to bite the sticky eyeballs 382 00:25:52,655 --> 00:25:54,933 and then the people who looked at the eye-candy cry 383 00:25:55,017 --> 00:25:57,737 and can no longer see the eye-candy? 384 00:25:57,819 --> 00:25:58,456 Precisely. 385 00:25:58,539 --> 00:26:02,695 Ahmet, you are surely the smarty in the pants. 386 00:26:02,782 --> 00:26:04,694 Jiggy tums back. 387 00:26:05,143 --> 00:26:07,534 Alright, let's go for a rehearsal back up. 388 00:26:07,625 --> 00:26:09,776 You do not call for rehearsal! 389 00:26:09,866 --> 00:26:12,860 Only I call for rehearsal! 390 00:26:12,948 --> 00:26:14,907 Alright, let's go for a rehearsal! 391 00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:17,028 Hello, handsome. 392 00:26:17,511 --> 00:26:19,025 Please, my friends call me "Johnny." 393 00:26:19,113 --> 00:26:20,752 But you can call me "Handsome." 394 00:26:23,475 --> 00:26:25,548 Nope. But I can read subtitles. 395 00:26:25,637 --> 00:26:27,231 So try not to speak too fast. 396 00:26:27,318 --> 00:26:29,880 You're very intriguing, Mr. Bravo. 397 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,271 Heeey. So you speak Johnny, too? 398 00:26:32,361 --> 00:26:34,798 Oh... I love a lady with talented lips. 399 00:26:34,883 --> 00:26:37,638 So how much do you really know about Bollywood, Johnny? 400 00:26:37,725 --> 00:26:40,924 Why? Are you looking to give me a private lesson? 401 00:26:41,287 --> 00:26:42,278 A lesson? 402 00:26:42,368 --> 00:26:45,965 But, why do it in private when we can do it in public? 403 00:26:46,290 --> 00:26:47,725 Bollywood style. 404 00:28:11,466 --> 00:28:13,425 Can you sing that part about the free food again? 405 00:28:13,508 --> 00:28:14,384 I'm starving. 406 00:28:14,468 --> 00:28:16,507 Well, that makes three of us. 407 00:28:16,950 --> 00:28:18,783 Make that four of us. 408 00:28:21,033 --> 00:28:22,068 Take five. 409 00:28:22,954 --> 00:28:25,789 No no no no no... You do not call the breaks! 410 00:28:25,876 --> 00:28:28,312 Only I call for the breaks! 411 00:28:29,438 --> 00:28:32,751 You handsome devil of a man, you... 412 00:28:33,281 --> 00:28:35,114 Take five! 413 00:28:38,644 --> 00:28:40,318 We need to talk, mister. 414 00:28:40,405 --> 00:28:41,521 Talk to my agent. 415 00:28:41,966 --> 00:28:43,241 I am your agent. 416 00:28:43,327 --> 00:28:44,682 Then talk to my manager. 417 00:28:45,329 --> 00:28:46,764 I'm your manager. 418 00:28:47,890 --> 00:28:49,245 Remind me why I need you again? 419 00:28:49,331 --> 00:28:50,731 Because you need protection. 420 00:28:50,932 --> 00:28:51,684 And friends. 421 00:28:52,013 --> 00:28:54,325 People who can keep your feet on the ground. 422 00:28:54,415 --> 00:28:56,327 Because you're about to go big time. 423 00:28:56,416 --> 00:28:59,649 You're about to surround yourself with sharks and weasels. 424 00:29:01,219 --> 00:29:02,619 You don't know me. 425 00:29:05,022 --> 00:29:06,377 Take it as compliment... 426 00:29:06,943 --> 00:29:08,298 But most of all... 427 00:29:08,384 --> 00:29:10,262 Because we had a deal, Johnny. 428 00:29:10,345 --> 00:29:12,861 We give you the secret to Jiggy's starpower, 429 00:29:12,947 --> 00:29:15,702 you give us fifty percent of your earnings. 430 00:29:16,029 --> 00:29:19,422 Well, you did introduce me to the stuff. 431 00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:20,987 But gimme a better offer. 432 00:29:21,072 --> 00:29:22,108 How about forty? 433 00:29:22,193 --> 00:29:22,625 Ten. 434 00:29:22,713 --> 00:29:23,306 Forty. 435 00:29:23,394 --> 00:29:23,792 Ten. 436 00:29:23,874 --> 00:29:24,227 Ten. 437 00:29:24,314 --> 00:29:24,588 Forty. 438 00:29:24,675 --> 00:29:25,187 Ten. 439 00:29:25,275 --> 00:29:25,707 Forty. 440 00:29:25,795 --> 00:29:26,672 Forty it is. 441 00:29:26,756 --> 00:29:27,507 Deal! 442 00:29:27,877 --> 00:29:29,915 Now get out there and break a leg. 443 00:29:30,238 --> 00:29:30,797 Gotcha! 444 00:29:34,961 --> 00:29:37,921 No, Johnny, that's just an expression... 445 00:29:38,203 --> 00:29:41,642 Sorry, man, I thought it was some kinda weird Indiana custom. 446 00:29:44,528 --> 00:29:46,042 That's showbusiness. 447 00:29:48,931 --> 00:29:52,005 "Fatally Lethal Death Kill." Scene three thousand. Take one. 448 00:29:52,093 --> 00:29:54,085 And... action... 449 00:29:54,694 --> 00:29:58,611 This is your last chance, Detective Deathkill. 450 00:29:58,697 --> 00:30:03,058 The DA is irritating my buttocks and I need results. 451 00:30:03,140 --> 00:30:07,819 So you are now to be getting a new partner. Pronto. 452 00:30:08,744 --> 00:30:09,859 A partner? 453 00:30:10,265 --> 00:30:11,904 No way, Sanjay. 454 00:30:12,026 --> 00:30:15,817 This maverick cop with attitude works alone. 455 00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:20,584 You look like you just saw a hot, hunky ghost. 456 00:30:22,633 --> 00:30:25,148 Deathkill, meet your new partner. 457 00:30:25,234 --> 00:30:27,193 Studley Coolrookie. 458 00:30:29,397 --> 00:30:32,551 Studley by name, studly by nature. 459 00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:35,471 Dude-brother, you wouldn't know "studley” 460 00:30:35,561 --> 00:30:39,033 if it came right up to your face and didn't kiss you... 461 00:30:41,045 --> 00:30:45,041 You, uh, said "didn't kiss", right? 462 00:30:45,528 --> 00:30:49,489 I can't work with this amateur. Pack up ya'll... 463 00:30:49,570 --> 00:30:50,208 Cut! 464 00:30:50,291 --> 00:30:51,362 JIGGY! WAIT.. 465 00:30:52,893 --> 00:30:54,885 Jiggy, what's the problem? 466 00:30:55,494 --> 00:30:59,730 Him! I demand that he be removed from the set. 467 00:31:00,658 --> 00:31:01,979 What's the matter, Jiggly? 468 00:31:02,059 --> 00:31:03,288 Not enough kissing for you? 469 00:31:03,379 --> 00:31:05,213 Or was that non-kissing? 470 00:31:05,541 --> 00:31:07,101 Removed! 471 00:31:08,463 --> 00:31:10,421 Look, Jiggy, the kids stays in the picture. 472 00:31:10,504 --> 00:31:12,861 Johnny, baby, are you ok? 473 00:31:13,026 --> 00:31:16,623 Did the big bad megastar upset you? 474 00:31:17,829 --> 00:31:19,628 I can see what's happening here. 475 00:31:19,710 --> 00:31:22,864 That numbskull idiot is somehow charming everyone. 476 00:31:22,952 --> 00:31:25,912 Well, it's time for everyone to get Jiggy. 477 00:31:27,635 --> 00:31:28,387 You must be swift. 478 00:31:28,476 --> 00:31:30,115 Two of our agents have already failed. 479 00:31:30,197 --> 00:31:31,347 Fear not, brother. 480 00:31:31,438 --> 00:31:34,080 I shall strike Jiggy in a pressure point 481 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:37,951 right here in the side of the neck with my scorpion strike. 482 00:31:38,362 --> 00:31:39,558 Like this... 483 00:31:39,883 --> 00:31:42,240 Really? I would've gone for something a little deadlier. 484 00:31:42,325 --> 00:31:43,919 A gun or something. Maybe a bomb. 485 00:31:44,006 --> 00:31:46,158 Well, you are not my mother. 486 00:31:46,248 --> 00:31:47,044 I'm just saying... 487 00:31:47,529 --> 00:31:49,203 Anyway, enough about me. 488 00:31:49,290 --> 00:31:51,328 Let's talk about myself and I... 489 00:32:04,300 --> 00:32:07,852 Nobody disses Johnny Bravo's hair and gets away with it! 490 00:32:08,462 --> 00:32:10,101 Nobody. 491 00:32:24,393 --> 00:32:25,873 Gasp! Everyone stand back. 492 00:32:25,954 --> 00:32:27,866 It's a hair-off! 493 00:32:50,570 --> 00:32:52,209 Bling bling! 494 00:32:59,776 --> 00:33:00,573 Cha-ching! 495 00:33:10,703 --> 00:33:13,777 Indiaaaaaaa! Take it. 496 00:33:25,273 --> 00:33:28,472 USA! USA! USA! 497 00:33:28,555 --> 00:33:30,912 USA! USA! USA! 498 00:33:30,997 --> 00:33:32,671 Strike now, while Jiggy is distracted. 499 00:33:32,758 --> 00:33:35,399 I will. But only because I want to, 500 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,040 not because you told me to. 501 00:33:48,528 --> 00:33:51,522 Sorry man. Sometimes beauty's a beast. 502 00:33:56,653 --> 00:33:58,293 Don't take it too bad. 503 00:33:58,375 --> 00:33:59,570 The better man won. 504 00:34:00,136 --> 00:34:01,285 Not to mention the cuter, 505 00:34:01,377 --> 00:34:02,731 the cooler, the most... 506 00:34:02,817 --> 00:34:04,810 I want a rematch! 507 00:34:05,259 --> 00:34:07,411 No! Our client won the hair-off... 508 00:34:07,781 --> 00:34:09,455 ...fair-hair and square. 509 00:34:10,783 --> 00:34:12,343 This is Robber Ducky to Thug Bear. 510 00:34:12,424 --> 00:34:13,095 Come in, Thug Bear. 511 00:34:13,184 --> 00:34:14,459 The poodle has pooped on the rug... 512 00:34:14,545 --> 00:34:15,536 Repeat... The poodle has pooped... 513 00:34:15,626 --> 00:34:16,377 Enough! 514 00:34:16,747 --> 00:34:17,782 So once again, 515 00:34:17,867 --> 00:34:19,780 my minions have failed me. 516 00:34:19,869 --> 00:34:21,702 It is that clumsy American ox, Great Leader. 517 00:34:21,790 --> 00:34:24,386 He is charging all the place in an effort to upstage Jiggy. 518 00:34:24,472 --> 00:34:26,350 Then we must make sure Jiggy 519 00:34:26,433 --> 00:34:29,393 is removed from the stage so his charging will stop. 520 00:34:29,475 --> 00:34:31,069 But then... What of Johnny Bravo? 521 00:34:31,156 --> 00:34:33,468 Leave Johnny Bravo to me. 522 00:34:39,762 --> 00:34:41,640 Sorry... hair ball. 523 00:34:42,123 --> 00:34:44,639 Look, it's either me or it's him. 524 00:34:45,526 --> 00:34:46,402 He is the one. 525 00:34:46,486 --> 00:34:47,841 But you said I was the one. 526 00:34:47,927 --> 00:34:50,318 A verbal contract is not worth the paper it is written on. 527 00:34:50,649 --> 00:34:52,766 But I have it on paper. 528 00:34:55,172 --> 00:34:57,289 In triplicate no less. 529 00:35:07,740 --> 00:35:08,651 Come on! 530 00:35:08,741 --> 00:35:10,494 Jiggy is in that movie! 531 00:35:10,582 --> 00:35:13,622 We shot for six days already, six. 532 00:35:13,704 --> 00:35:15,139 It's almost finished. 533 00:35:17,587 --> 00:35:18,861 We're writing you out. 534 00:35:19,268 --> 00:35:20,464 Who's writing me out? 535 00:35:20,549 --> 00:35:21,266 Over there! 536 00:35:21,549 --> 00:35:24,430 The hottest writer in Bollywood is hard at work. 537 00:35:26,152 --> 00:35:28,304 Interior. Monkey Temple. Day. 538 00:35:28,394 --> 00:35:29,794 Bindiana Jaihones reaches 539 00:35:29,875 --> 00:35:32,756 for the Lost Crystal Head-Bone of the Doomed Golden Monkey temple 540 00:35:32,837 --> 00:35:36,469 when he's bitten in the face by a guard monkey and pass's away. 541 00:35:36,759 --> 00:35:39,640 Suddenly, the ceiling explodes - Bindiana's younger, 542 00:35:39,721 --> 00:35:41,760 hotter brother descends like a god! 543 00:35:42,083 --> 00:35:43,643 New Bindiana Jaihones: 544 00:35:43,964 --> 00:35:47,402 "You terminated my no-talent brother, Demon Monkey! 545 00:35:54,491 --> 00:35:56,324 Now it is personal!" 546 00:35:57,893 --> 00:35:58,565 Perfect! 547 00:36:03,897 --> 00:36:06,368 Wait! I've got something I've been working on. 548 00:36:06,459 --> 00:36:08,974 About a sensitive rat who dreams of working in one 549 00:36:09,061 --> 00:36:10,814 of the great restaurants of Europe. 550 00:36:11,102 --> 00:36:14,176 Who wants to see a filthy rat put its dirty paws on human food? 551 00:36:14,264 --> 00:36:15,221 It'll never sell! 552 00:36:18,827 --> 00:36:20,341 I don't want your pity! 553 00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:22,022 Writers have dignity. 554 00:36:22,309 --> 00:36:23,584 Ooh, free food... 555 00:36:26,392 --> 00:36:27,622 Here are the new pages, Johnny. 556 00:36:27,713 --> 00:36:28,703 Awesomeness... 557 00:36:30,795 --> 00:36:32,025 This is terrible. 558 00:36:32,116 --> 00:36:33,551 I think we need a new reader. 559 00:36:34,157 --> 00:36:35,034 Vile. 560 00:36:43,723 --> 00:36:46,285 Brilliant! I laughed out loud. 561 00:36:46,365 --> 00:36:47,640 It's not a comedy. 562 00:36:49,447 --> 00:36:50,199 Here we are! 563 00:36:53,930 --> 00:36:54,887 Smells like rabies. 564 00:36:54,971 --> 00:36:56,006 Why are we here? 565 00:36:56,332 --> 00:36:59,247 Our client should be on a proper Bollywood sound stage 566 00:36:59,334 --> 00:37:02,408 where the only thing he'll catch is super stardom. 567 00:37:02,816 --> 00:37:03,887 Client, huh? 568 00:37:03,977 --> 00:37:05,537 Yeah, I see ugly monkeys 569 00:37:05,618 --> 00:37:07,690 and ugly crew but no super hotties 570 00:37:07,819 --> 00:37:09,379 ready to worship at Johnny's feet. 571 00:37:09,740 --> 00:37:11,540 Unless the hotties are inside... 572 00:37:12,342 --> 00:37:15,700 Sure, yeah, they're inside. 573 00:37:26,952 --> 00:37:29,308 Wouldn't it have been easier to just build a set? 574 00:37:29,393 --> 00:37:30,623 Sets cost money. 575 00:37:30,714 --> 00:37:33,310 It's much cheaper to destroy a real monkey palace. 576 00:37:33,756 --> 00:37:34,906 Sorry, closed set. 577 00:37:34,997 --> 00:37:36,352 But Johnny's our client. 578 00:37:36,718 --> 00:37:39,678 Oh, I see, then you've got a contract to prove that? 579 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,994 Our deal with Johnny was sealed with a handshake. 580 00:37:49,687 --> 00:37:52,077 How can two innocent sweet little girls 581 00:37:52,168 --> 00:37:55,481 with no business experience be so naïve? 582 00:37:55,931 --> 00:37:56,807 Now get out of here! 583 00:37:56,891 --> 00:37:58,041 Not you. I like your face. 584 00:37:58,132 --> 00:37:59,009 Ever thought of acting? 585 00:37:59,093 --> 00:38:00,084 You don't have an agent, do you? 586 00:38:00,174 --> 00:38:01,528 Ever heard of the word "perpetuity." 587 00:38:01,615 --> 00:38:03,892 No? Good! Sounds made up, right? 588 00:38:14,023 --> 00:38:16,220 Now people we've got 28 pages 589 00:38:16,304 --> 00:38:18,695 of script to get through and 40 minutes 590 00:38:18,786 --> 00:38:21,301 to do it but just because we've got plenty of time 591 00:38:21,388 --> 00:38:24,985 I don't want anyone slacking off right okay... 592 00:38:25,510 --> 00:38:26,546 Action! 593 00:38:27,071 --> 00:38:28,790 But no-one's told Johnny what to do. 594 00:38:29,033 --> 00:38:30,068 What's this scene about? 595 00:38:30,393 --> 00:38:31,464 What's the name of this movie? 596 00:38:32,475 --> 00:38:34,274 You would be fired now 597 00:38:34,356 --> 00:38:38,557 for asking so many irrelevant questions if you were not so god-like. 598 00:38:39,039 --> 00:38:40,678 And now we are behind schedule. 599 00:38:41,121 --> 00:38:43,432 Motivation. Logic. Originality. 600 00:38:43,522 --> 00:38:45,036 Alright... on schedule again. 601 00:38:45,123 --> 00:38:47,355 Bindiana Jaihones and the Lost Crystal Head Bone 602 00:38:47,445 --> 00:38:49,517 of the Doomed Golden Monkey Temple, take one. 603 00:38:49,846 --> 00:38:50,723 Action! 604 00:39:02,895 --> 00:39:03,851 We must hurry! 605 00:39:03,936 --> 00:39:06,008 If we do not retrieve the Lost Crystal Head Bone 606 00:39:06,097 --> 00:39:07,497 of the Doomed Golden Monkey Temple 607 00:39:07,578 --> 00:39:09,490 the world will explode! 608 00:39:09,579 --> 00:39:12,972 Yes, great hero Bindiana Jaihones. 609 00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:15,013 Monkey warriors! 610 00:39:15,463 --> 00:39:18,696 I hate those guys jealously guarding their treasure! 611 00:39:36,797 --> 00:39:38,436 Why have you paused, Bindi? 612 00:39:38,518 --> 00:39:40,078 Because I am admiring the smoothness 613 00:39:40,159 --> 00:39:41,993 of my jaw and the closest shave ever 614 00:39:42,081 --> 00:39:44,551 that you can now get from Jiggy's Shaving Gel. 615 00:39:45,883 --> 00:39:48,115 So smooth and manly! 616 00:39:52,087 --> 00:39:53,726 Cut! Alright, 617 00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:56,563 bring in the double, and action! 618 00:39:59,012 --> 00:40:00,970 Look out, Bindiana Jaihones! 619 00:40:29,352 --> 00:40:31,469 My talentless, uglier brother! 620 00:40:31,793 --> 00:40:35,312 Take it out! N-o-o-o... 621 00:40:45,482 --> 00:40:46,962 Whatever you do, baby cakes, 622 00:40:47,283 --> 00:40:48,763 don't look at the awesomeness. 623 00:40:58,891 --> 00:41:00,929 Alright, sugar, you can open those peepers. 624 00:41:11,099 --> 00:41:11,851 Yeah, Chief? 625 00:41:11,940 --> 00:41:12,736 Bindiana! 626 00:41:12,820 --> 00:41:15,541 We have reliable intel that Archduke Ferdinand 627 00:41:15,622 --> 00:41:17,934 of Austria is about to be assassinated! 628 00:41:18,344 --> 00:41:19,540 Sorry, Chief, I'm losing you. 629 00:41:19,625 --> 00:41:23,018 But Bindiana if the Archduke is assassinated it could plunge 630 00:41:23,107 --> 00:41:25,019 the whole world into a war... 631 00:41:25,629 --> 00:41:27,985 So what do you wanna do now? 632 00:41:45,122 --> 00:41:46,237 What's up with the audience? 633 00:41:46,322 --> 00:41:49,555 You'd think I just mocked their smarts and culture or something. 634 00:41:49,644 --> 00:41:51,444 What are you kidding about, kidder? 635 00:41:51,526 --> 00:41:52,243 They love it! 636 00:41:52,606 --> 00:41:53,597 They're trashing the place. 637 00:41:53,687 --> 00:41:54,758 It's a riot. 638 00:41:54,848 --> 00:41:56,044 And thank goodness! 639 00:41:56,129 --> 00:41:59,283 Nothing says box office more than a box office burnt to the ground. 640 00:42:00,572 --> 00:42:02,052 The cards are in! 641 00:42:02,133 --> 00:42:03,043 What do they say? 642 00:42:04,174 --> 00:42:05,495 It's a hit! 643 00:42:05,575 --> 00:42:09,651 I just wish those two kooky kids could be here to share in my moment. 644 00:42:10,538 --> 00:42:11,449 Where are they anyway? 645 00:42:11,539 --> 00:42:13,053 This movie is not suitable for children. 646 00:42:13,140 --> 00:42:15,212 But there are children burning the fire-escape. 647 00:42:15,542 --> 00:42:19,014 Well... The thing is... Thug! 648 00:42:21,265 --> 00:42:21,778 What? 649 00:42:25,708 --> 00:42:26,426 You know what? 650 00:42:26,629 --> 00:42:29,305 All this fire is making me hungry for some barbecue. 651 00:42:29,391 --> 00:42:32,511 Whaddya say we go get us some of that free Bollywood food. 652 00:42:33,834 --> 00:42:35,906 So, Johnny, you have hit the big time. 653 00:42:35,995 --> 00:42:38,876 Now to go with your new status as Bollywood royalty, 654 00:42:38,957 --> 00:42:41,519 you must have your absurdly lavish palace. 655 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:45,117 Chick pad. 656 00:42:45,201 --> 00:42:48,719 Oh, yes, there is room for many chicks and goats. 657 00:42:49,404 --> 00:42:50,804 And it's mine you say? 658 00:42:50,885 --> 00:42:52,479 No strings attached. 659 00:42:52,886 --> 00:42:55,687 All yours. But there's just one little thing... 660 00:42:56,328 --> 00:42:59,881 It's kind of embarrassing for a proud man but... 661 00:43:03,093 --> 00:43:04,528 Could I have your autograph? 662 00:43:05,254 --> 00:43:06,245 No problem! 663 00:43:09,097 --> 00:43:10,532 That's not an autograph book! 664 00:43:11,819 --> 00:43:12,854 That's a contract! 665 00:43:12,939 --> 00:43:14,533 It's a standard agreement. 666 00:43:14,620 --> 00:43:15,941 And it's written in blood! 667 00:43:16,502 --> 00:43:18,892 Yes! There's a funny story about that. 668 00:43:18,983 --> 00:43:20,702 I was shaving at my desk and... 669 00:43:20,784 --> 00:43:23,062 And what's this part about taking everything I own? 670 00:43:23,146 --> 00:43:25,024 Typo. I'll delete it later. 671 00:43:25,107 --> 00:43:27,259 Sorry, man, as much as my good business sense 672 00:43:27,349 --> 00:43:28,943 is telling me that you're an honest man, 673 00:43:29,030 --> 00:43:30,465 I've already made a deal. 674 00:43:31,311 --> 00:43:33,065 With those meddling little girls? 675 00:43:33,153 --> 00:43:34,588 Yeah. Stinky and Minky? 676 00:43:34,674 --> 00:43:35,948 I thought it was Funky and Monkey? 677 00:43:36,034 --> 00:43:38,425 Whatever they are, they're like family to me. 678 00:43:38,516 --> 00:43:39,268 Family? 679 00:43:39,877 --> 00:43:42,519 Can family get you the best seats in the best restaurants, 680 00:43:42,599 --> 00:43:44,318 the fast cars, the fast boats, 681 00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:47,121 the fast turtles at the Annual Bollywood Turtle Races? 682 00:43:47,202 --> 00:43:48,602 Can family make your dreams 683 00:43:48,683 --> 00:43:50,561 come true? Fulfill you? 684 00:43:50,644 --> 00:43:53,877 No! Family will just destroy you like jackals! 685 00:43:53,966 --> 00:43:55,526 But if you want to choose jackals over your dreams, 686 00:43:55,607 --> 00:43:56,598 I understand. 687 00:43:59,690 --> 00:44:01,329 Anything else you want to me to sign? 688 00:44:01,691 --> 00:44:02,409 Just this... 689 00:44:03,372 --> 00:44:04,522 You got it, buddy. 690 00:44:09,977 --> 00:44:12,732 Welcome to the Dream Factory, Johnny Bravo! 691 00:44:12,819 --> 00:44:13,809 Now get some rest. 692 00:44:13,899 --> 00:44:16,211 We start shooting your next hit in an hour. 693 00:44:16,301 --> 00:44:20,012 "Avasitar 2." It's set underwater - predictably. 694 00:44:20,103 --> 00:44:22,255 Bring vinegar. For the sea-lice. 695 00:44:23,185 --> 00:44:25,622 Didn't count on my dreams involving sea-lice. 696 00:44:28,509 --> 00:44:30,183 Oh, mama! 697 00:44:35,434 --> 00:44:36,310 Johnny... 698 00:44:40,397 --> 00:44:43,232 I'd say hi but legally I'm not allowed to. 699 00:44:43,479 --> 00:44:44,196 But, Johnny, 700 00:44:44,279 --> 00:44:46,716 we're more than relentless business executive. 701 00:44:46,801 --> 00:44:48,076 We're your true friends. 702 00:44:48,602 --> 00:44:51,562 My true friends just gave me a swingin' bachelor pad. 703 00:44:51,684 --> 00:44:52,641 And a car! 704 00:44:56,327 --> 00:44:58,479 Wait! There's something you need to know. 705 00:44:58,569 --> 00:45:00,880 We believe you're in terrible danger from the Thugs, 706 00:45:00,970 --> 00:45:04,284 a fanatical and ancient cadre of assassins who are plotting to... 707 00:45:04,373 --> 00:45:05,647 Why don't you girls run off home. 708 00:45:05,733 --> 00:45:07,567 I'd drive you there in my new sports car 709 00:45:07,655 --> 00:45:10,091 but it seems to be painted on to my new fake garage. 710 00:45:10,176 --> 00:45:12,328 But Johnny, you're in great danger... 711 00:45:12,418 --> 00:45:16,379 Sorry kids. I got to go get accustomed to my new life of luxury. 712 00:45:26,507 --> 00:45:31,186 Man, that is one big trailer for one big Bollywood star. 713 00:45:41,797 --> 00:45:44,268 There's no place like fake home. 714 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:47,557 Whatta day... 715 00:45:48,361 --> 00:45:49,636 Oh, hi, Jeevesy. 716 00:45:54,005 --> 00:45:55,155 You want a tip? 717 00:45:55,246 --> 00:45:57,363 Floss your fangs and be good to your Mama. 718 00:45:57,447 --> 00:45:58,927 As if you'd know... 719 00:46:01,170 --> 00:46:02,400 Oh, mama... 720 00:46:03,571 --> 00:46:04,926 Oh! Mama! 721 00:46:05,573 --> 00:46:06,973 Who were you expecting? 722 00:46:07,254 --> 00:46:10,089 A Bollywood babe wrapped up in a bow? 723 00:46:13,778 --> 00:46:15,178 No... why do you ask? 724 00:46:16,220 --> 00:46:17,291 Hi, Johnny... 725 00:46:18,301 --> 00:46:19,895 Sorry, Sumi, you gotta scram. 726 00:46:19,982 --> 00:46:21,382 I got Mama issues. 727 00:46:23,264 --> 00:46:25,382 Mama, what are you doing in Indiana? 728 00:46:25,706 --> 00:46:27,823 And without a cowboy hat! 729 00:46:27,908 --> 00:46:30,583 I came to look after your affairs. 730 00:46:30,909 --> 00:46:31,980 Like manage your brand 731 00:46:32,070 --> 00:46:36,067 new fansite: The Johnny Bravo Photoblog: 732 00:46:37,034 --> 00:46:38,069 Something looks off... 733 00:46:38,635 --> 00:46:39,784 That's an old design. 734 00:46:40,076 --> 00:46:42,193 From before you were useful and famous. 735 00:46:42,277 --> 00:46:46,592 Now, come on, son, tell Mama about your Bollywood career. 736 00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:47,556 Is it stable? 737 00:46:47,801 --> 00:46:49,793 Stable as this here house. 738 00:46:51,003 --> 00:46:53,154 Yep, I've finally found somewhere 739 00:46:53,244 --> 00:46:57,241 that appreciates me for me so I ain't going nowhere... 740 00:46:57,567 --> 00:47:01,962 Oh, Johnny, all your dreams are coming true boy. 741 00:47:02,050 --> 00:47:03,564 Top o' the world, ma. 742 00:47:03,651 --> 00:47:04,562 Top o' the world... 743 00:47:10,455 --> 00:47:13,017 I think you mean bottom of the well. 744 00:47:22,824 --> 00:47:26,103 Man, who knew Bollywood hunks were supposed to work hard? 745 00:47:37,553 --> 00:47:39,512 Avasitar 2, take one. 746 00:47:41,436 --> 00:47:42,028 Action! 747 00:48:26,666 --> 00:48:27,258 Again. 748 00:50:24,463 --> 00:50:26,501 Well, I'm glad that y'all liked the movie. 749 00:50:29,466 --> 00:50:30,946 You guys are a riot. 750 00:50:31,027 --> 00:50:32,940 Seriously though... I'd like to thank you 751 00:50:33,029 --> 00:50:36,103 for renaming your national movie awards the Bravos. 752 00:50:36,831 --> 00:50:38,505 And for awarding them all to me. 753 00:50:38,592 --> 00:50:40,072 Even for things I didn't do. 754 00:50:40,394 --> 00:50:41,623 But I guess what I have most 755 00:50:41,714 --> 00:50:43,753 to be thankful for is those Thug Assassins 756 00:50:43,836 --> 00:50:45,748 haven't tried to get me for some time... 757 00:50:45,837 --> 00:50:47,989 Unless of course, they've just been waiting to take me down 758 00:50:48,079 --> 00:50:50,310 at some fancy-shcmancy award show. 759 00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:53,042 But, man, that'd be screwier than the weirdo plots 760 00:50:53,122 --> 00:50:55,160 you people paying money to see at the movies. 761 00:50:55,443 --> 00:50:58,598 - I mean, talk about koo-koo... - Johnny Bravo, everyone! 762 00:51:06,211 --> 00:51:06,689 What? 763 00:51:07,171 --> 00:51:07,923 Oh, these? 764 00:51:08,012 --> 00:51:10,004 Only ten thousand rupees a pop. 765 00:51:10,093 --> 00:51:11,767 Coming to a store near you! 766 00:51:15,897 --> 00:51:18,732 You know..It's amazing how things just keeps going my way. 767 00:51:21,140 --> 00:51:22,211 Oh, mama... 768 00:51:23,622 --> 00:51:24,499 Johnny! 769 00:51:24,583 --> 00:51:26,575 - Oh, no. - Poor Johnny. 770 00:51:27,344 --> 00:51:29,257 If I had... to be taken out 771 00:51:29,746 --> 00:51:33,139 at least it was... by someone as... pretty as me... 772 00:51:33,909 --> 00:51:36,379 Oh Johnny, don't say that, 773 00:51:36,751 --> 00:51:39,028 you'll be ok, you will. 774 00:51:39,112 --> 00:51:42,790 A little thinner in some weird places, but ok. 775 00:51:42,875 --> 00:51:45,345 No, Mama. It's my time. 776 00:51:45,717 --> 00:51:48,676 I really was too beautiful for this world... 777 00:51:53,722 --> 00:51:57,433 I'll... always love... me too. 778 00:51:59,005 --> 00:52:00,405 I hope y'all caught that on camera, 779 00:52:00,486 --> 00:52:02,319 cause that was some of my finest work yet! 780 00:52:02,407 --> 00:52:03,125 Go, Bravo! 781 00:52:04,249 --> 00:52:08,040 Noooooooooo! Oh, no... 782 00:52:09,332 --> 00:52:10,971 Ladies and gentlemen, 783 00:52:11,253 --> 00:52:12,289 Johnny Bravo, 784 00:52:12,574 --> 00:52:14,852 Bollywood's greatest action star, 785 00:52:14,936 --> 00:52:17,497 is now an inaction star. 786 00:52:17,778 --> 00:52:20,578 Permanently. Never shall any star 787 00:52:20,659 --> 00:52:23,734 in the Bollywood sky shine as brightly. 788 00:52:24,942 --> 00:52:27,220 Friends, Indians, countrymen. 789 00:52:27,304 --> 00:52:28,943 Lend me your ears. 790 00:52:29,225 --> 00:52:32,379 I come not to praise Johnny Bravo, but to... 791 00:52:32,467 --> 00:52:33,617 A talking monkey? 792 00:52:33,708 --> 00:52:34,779 Ladies and gentlemen, 793 00:52:34,869 --> 00:52:36,349 we have a new star! 794 00:52:36,630 --> 00:52:39,943 The greatest star in the Indian sky ever! 795 00:52:50,919 --> 00:52:52,274 This is an outrage. 796 00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:55,036 Where are you taking my boy? 797 00:52:55,122 --> 00:52:57,000 And are you sure he's... moved on? 798 00:52:57,083 --> 00:52:58,803 Cause it looked like he was still breathing. 799 00:52:58,885 --> 00:53:02,084 I fully assure you that Johnny has passed onto the great white way 800 00:53:02,167 --> 00:53:05,287 and will receive a farewell befitting a star of his talents. 801 00:53:16,977 --> 00:53:20,370 Something is very suspicious about all of this. 802 00:53:20,459 --> 00:53:21,689 I smell a rat. 803 00:53:23,541 --> 00:53:24,691 You don't know me... 804 00:53:24,782 --> 00:53:26,182 Take it as a compliment. 805 00:53:26,823 --> 00:53:30,785 Well, I don't know how things work in your country, 806 00:53:30,866 --> 00:53:34,907 but when there's an unexplained mystery in the USA, 807 00:53:35,229 --> 00:53:39,509 completely unqualified folks usually try to solve it. 808 00:53:39,591 --> 00:53:40,821 Are you with me? 809 00:53:41,192 --> 00:53:41,944 We're in. 810 00:53:42,033 --> 00:53:45,505 Now if everything I see on TV is true, 811 00:53:45,795 --> 00:53:47,195 with this much sass, 812 00:53:47,517 --> 00:53:50,032 nosiness and token eye candy 813 00:53:50,118 --> 00:53:54,001 then we'll have this mystery solved in next to no time... 814 00:53:55,002 --> 00:53:55,639 Or not. 815 00:54:01,806 --> 00:54:03,036 Scat, mouse-cats. 816 00:54:03,127 --> 00:54:05,483 No nibbling on this hunk of cheesecake. 817 00:54:07,089 --> 00:54:10,483 Hey. Not a bone, body part or hair out of place. 818 00:54:11,212 --> 00:54:12,612 I thought I was a goner. 819 00:54:13,294 --> 00:54:15,491 Waning: Excessive use may result 820 00:54:15,575 --> 00:54:18,217 in the production of super-hairs able to withstand 821 00:54:18,297 --> 00:54:21,690 pressures up to but not exceeding a giant golden statue. 822 00:54:22,820 --> 00:54:26,178 May also cause spontaneous shrinkage of buttocks. 823 00:54:34,227 --> 00:54:36,140 Johnny Bravo... 824 00:54:40,832 --> 00:54:42,061 Sorry tiffin-watsuh. 825 00:54:42,193 --> 00:54:44,868 I'm not feelin too hungry for maggots and malaria. 826 00:54:45,475 --> 00:54:47,672 You ignoramus! It is I, 827 00:54:47,756 --> 00:54:48,428 Jiggy. 828 00:54:48,797 --> 00:54:50,197 Don't you recognize me? 829 00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:53,717 Jiggy? 830 00:54:55,001 --> 00:54:58,394 Sorry, man, couldn't see you through all the... humiliation... 831 00:54:58,964 --> 00:54:59,999 What are you implying? 832 00:55:00,084 --> 00:55:02,362 That I was fired and the only employment left available 833 00:55:02,446 --> 00:55:05,201 to me was to become a tiffin-wallah in the commissary? 834 00:55:10,371 --> 00:55:13,092 It's true! It's true 835 00:55:13,173 --> 00:55:17,135 I have fallen so far from grace I have had no choice 836 00:55:17,336 --> 00:55:18,930 but to become one of the lowly people 837 00:55:19,017 --> 00:55:21,089 whose worship made me a millionaire. 838 00:55:21,578 --> 00:55:23,969 Oh the horror! The horror... 839 00:55:24,060 --> 00:55:26,178 Hey man, being awesome in Indiana ain't all 840 00:55:26,262 --> 00:55:27,776 it's cracked up to be. 841 00:55:27,863 --> 00:55:29,616 At least no-one's trying to get rid of you. 842 00:55:29,704 --> 00:55:31,935 Like some mega superstars I know. 843 00:55:32,266 --> 00:55:33,062 What do you mean? 844 00:55:33,146 --> 00:55:36,106 Some crazy assassins always trying to knock me off! 845 00:55:36,188 --> 00:55:38,500 Strangulation here, sword-attack there. 846 00:55:38,590 --> 00:55:40,821 Giant golden statue of yourself tied to your pants 847 00:55:40,911 --> 00:55:42,869 at a national awards ceremony... 848 00:55:42,953 --> 00:55:43,624 What? 849 00:55:43,713 --> 00:55:44,465 Long story. 850 00:55:44,554 --> 00:55:45,874 But you are talking of the Thugs. 851 00:55:46,115 --> 00:55:47,993 Why would Thugs want to get rid of you? 852 00:55:48,076 --> 00:55:51,355 I was their favorite target. Me! Jiggy! 853 00:55:51,438 --> 00:55:52,474 What can I say? 854 00:55:52,559 --> 00:55:55,075 Maybe these thugs are like dogs to trees, 855 00:55:55,161 --> 00:55:56,037 they come and go. 856 00:55:56,121 --> 00:55:59,479 No, don't you see. It's the role! 857 00:56:01,525 --> 00:56:04,246 Whoever is playing Bindiana Jaihones, 858 00:56:04,327 --> 00:56:06,080 they want them to disappear. 859 00:56:06,648 --> 00:56:07,286 But why? 860 00:56:07,649 --> 00:56:08,480 First things first. 861 00:56:08,569 --> 00:56:09,890 You need to take shower. 862 00:56:10,371 --> 00:56:12,249 Second, I know what you're thinking: 863 00:56:12,332 --> 00:56:13,767 That my looks are so razor-sharp 864 00:56:13,853 --> 00:56:16,495 you need chain-mail on your eyeballs just to look at me. 865 00:56:17,815 --> 00:56:20,570 Which means that it's time that you and me - 866 00:56:20,657 --> 00:56:23,492 the second and first biggest Bollywood stars of all time, 867 00:56:23,579 --> 00:56:27,337 respectively... team-up to bring down the bad guys. 868 00:56:27,942 --> 00:56:31,255 Buddy style! It'll be Jiggy and Bravo. 869 00:56:32,105 --> 00:56:33,619 Bravo and Jiggy. 870 00:56:34,226 --> 00:56:36,299 In a world, they never dreamed of... 871 00:56:38,109 --> 00:56:39,544 You know this is a cool graphic and all, 872 00:56:39,630 --> 00:56:41,941 but you really need to back up and take a shower. 873 00:57:10,690 --> 00:57:13,491 Oh, mama. That's poor Jeevesy down there. 874 00:57:13,572 --> 00:57:15,530 He's next in line to be knocked off. 875 00:57:15,934 --> 00:57:17,448 Poor dumb monkey. 876 00:57:18,255 --> 00:57:21,693 Johnny. Are you sure these disguises are going to work? 877 00:57:22,698 --> 00:57:23,575 Are you kidding? 878 00:57:23,659 --> 00:57:24,980 Who would expect a couple of actors 879 00:57:25,060 --> 00:57:26,779 to be dressing up as someone they're not? 880 00:57:26,861 --> 00:57:29,616 Well, what have we here? 881 00:57:31,264 --> 00:57:32,744 You must think we are fools... 882 00:57:33,185 --> 00:57:34,824 ...to let a couple of beautiful ladies 883 00:57:34,906 --> 00:57:36,818 like you escape our attention. 884 00:57:40,070 --> 00:57:41,060 To the office. 885 00:57:41,150 --> 00:57:43,223 We are just about to drink a toast... 886 00:57:43,312 --> 00:57:46,511 To the good riddance of Jiggy and Johnny Bravo. 887 00:57:48,835 --> 00:57:50,828 You see? This is why you are single 888 00:57:50,917 --> 00:57:51,907 with the bwa-ha-has... 889 00:57:52,438 --> 00:57:54,396 What my friend meant to say is 890 00:57:54,479 --> 00:57:58,760 "a toast to the discovery of two new beautiful Bollywood babes." 891 00:57:58,842 --> 00:58:00,641 We'd love to. 892 00:58:00,723 --> 00:58:02,921 Come on, you don't want to keep a couple 893 00:58:03,005 --> 00:58:06,477 of convincing ladies waiting, do you? 894 00:58:12,851 --> 00:58:15,971 The tall, broad-shouldered one looks strangely familiar... 895 00:58:21,857 --> 00:58:23,849 Alright, this is the final feat of strength. 896 00:58:23,938 --> 00:58:26,011 Then you will do the dancing, yes? 897 00:58:27,261 --> 00:58:30,972 Give it up, un-dude. I'm way more wo-manly than you. 898 00:58:32,224 --> 00:58:34,296 In your dreams, she-buddy. 899 00:58:40,109 --> 00:58:40,941 I knew it! 900 00:58:41,030 --> 00:58:42,783 Ahmet, that's no woman. 901 00:58:42,871 --> 00:58:44,510 That's Johnny Bravo! 902 00:58:46,593 --> 00:58:48,666 How did you see through my disguise? 903 00:58:48,755 --> 00:58:52,193 I didn't. I simply recall seeing an audition tape 904 00:58:52,277 --> 00:58:55,795 many years ago with a similar looking broad-shouldered woman in it. 905 00:58:56,760 --> 00:59:00,916 One so disturbing that very few even dared to keep a copy... 906 00:59:01,003 --> 00:59:01,561 You mean...? 907 00:59:01,643 --> 00:59:03,203 Yes - The Audition Tape 908 00:59:03,284 --> 00:59:05,926 That You Posted on the Internet and Can't Erase! 909 00:59:06,006 --> 00:59:07,566 Also known as... 910 00:59:07,647 --> 00:59:10,118 ...The Jeannie Ovarb Tapes. 911 00:59:11,730 --> 00:59:13,210 Jeeves, not this part. 912 00:59:14,332 --> 00:59:16,006 You can edit that out, right? 913 00:59:16,733 --> 00:59:20,491 I have always relied on the kindness of strangers... 914 00:59:22,377 --> 00:59:24,939 Help me, Obli-Wobbly Kennobli, 915 00:59:25,019 --> 00:59:26,818 you're my only hope.. 916 00:59:29,822 --> 00:59:32,782 Ready for my close-up, Mr. De Mile. 917 00:59:33,144 --> 00:59:34,579 Too close, man, too close... 918 00:59:36,386 --> 00:59:37,343 What's my name? 919 00:59:37,707 --> 00:59:40,178 John... I mean... Jeannie Ovarb. 920 00:59:40,269 --> 00:59:43,309 Female actress. Lady model. 921 00:59:43,391 --> 00:59:45,144 Furniture removalist girlie. 922 00:59:45,552 --> 00:59:47,669 Don't call me. I'll call you. 923 00:59:49,955 --> 00:59:50,387 What? 924 00:59:50,475 --> 00:59:53,276 You've never done anything embarrassing to make a buck? 925 00:59:53,357 --> 00:59:54,678 Nope! Not like that. 926 00:59:55,519 --> 00:59:56,156 Yeah, whatever. 927 00:59:56,239 --> 00:59:57,389 What's up with you and the Thugs 928 00:59:57,480 --> 00:59:59,199 trying to put me and Jiggly out of action? 929 00:59:59,641 --> 01:00:00,313 May I? 930 01:00:04,044 --> 01:00:05,638 For the only reason there is, 931 01:00:05,725 --> 01:00:07,205 you fool - money. 932 01:00:08,647 --> 01:00:12,769 You see, our plan was to make Bindiana Jaihones famous 933 01:00:12,850 --> 01:00:15,731 for being Jiggy's last film... ever... 934 01:00:15,812 --> 01:00:16,723 It's a well-known fact 935 01:00:16,813 --> 01:00:19,613 that no matter how much money a working celebrity brings in, 936 01:00:19,695 --> 01:00:21,573 it doesn't compare to the publicity value 937 01:00:21,656 --> 01:00:23,887 of a well-timed sudden retirement. 938 01:00:24,258 --> 01:00:26,136 So we hired a Thug Cult 939 01:00:26,219 --> 01:00:27,095 who had been aggrieved 940 01:00:27,179 --> 01:00:30,253 by one of Jiggy's many ill-fated advertisements. 941 01:00:30,342 --> 01:00:32,334 Hugs for Thugs, please 942 01:00:32,743 --> 01:00:34,735 That's the way to go go go... 943 01:00:34,824 --> 01:00:35,860 Hugs for thugs? 944 01:00:35,945 --> 01:00:38,746 Like you're one to criticize "Jeannie." 945 01:00:38,827 --> 01:00:40,057 All was going to plan. 946 01:00:40,148 --> 01:00:42,186 Until Johnny Bravo came along 947 01:00:42,269 --> 01:00:44,023 and shone like a supernova 948 01:00:44,111 --> 01:00:46,422 compared to Jiggy's dwarf star. 949 01:00:46,832 --> 01:00:50,465 And so we decided to make you a megastar. 950 01:00:51,275 --> 01:00:52,789 Thanks. Much obliged. 951 01:00:53,837 --> 01:00:55,715 And the new victim of our plot. 952 01:00:56,599 --> 01:00:58,477 Not so thanky on that one. 953 01:00:59,641 --> 01:01:00,312 Enough talk. 954 01:01:00,401 --> 01:01:01,915 We have heard all we need to hear. 955 01:01:02,002 --> 01:01:03,915 Come, Johnny, we must notify the police. 956 01:01:06,245 --> 01:01:07,441 May I use your phone? 957 01:01:07,526 --> 01:01:09,723 I don't have a lot of minutes left on my phone. 958 01:01:09,807 --> 01:01:11,368 I think not. Besides, 959 01:01:11,449 --> 01:01:13,009 you fools are just wasting time. 960 01:01:13,090 --> 01:01:16,130 The Thugs demanded an extra special payment for their services. 961 01:01:16,612 --> 01:01:17,603 A sacrifice! 962 01:01:18,974 --> 01:01:20,613 A human sacrifice! 963 01:01:22,376 --> 01:01:25,052 Of certain people you know... 964 01:01:26,378 --> 01:01:28,017 Oh for heaven's sake. It's Pinky, Shinky, 965 01:01:28,100 --> 01:01:29,010 Sumi and Mama Bravo. 966 01:01:29,100 --> 01:01:30,296 - Piggy and Shonky! - Sumi and Mama! 967 01:01:30,381 --> 01:01:32,659 Noooooooooo! 968 01:01:33,623 --> 01:01:34,739 Mine was bigger. 969 01:01:35,184 --> 01:01:37,860 Time for the Bravo Jiggyball special. 970 01:01:38,947 --> 01:01:39,982 What is the... 971 01:01:42,429 --> 01:01:44,501 Geronimooooooo! 972 01:01:51,715 --> 01:01:53,150 Come on, my brother. 973 01:01:53,476 --> 01:01:55,275 Jiggy and Bravo ride again. 974 01:01:57,519 --> 01:01:59,989 I take it you know where the secret Thug Temple is? 975 01:02:00,081 --> 01:02:03,280 No, but I think we both know the one person who would... 976 01:02:13,129 --> 01:02:16,567 So, you seek the secret Thug Temple? 977 01:02:16,932 --> 01:02:17,683 How do you know? 978 01:02:18,052 --> 01:02:20,250 The Voodoo Guru knows all. 979 01:02:20,654 --> 01:02:22,328 Well then, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck 980 01:02:22,415 --> 01:02:23,929 if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 981 01:02:25,657 --> 01:02:26,693 Sounds about right. 982 01:02:27,138 --> 01:02:28,938 Then what's the way to the secret Thug Temple? 983 01:02:34,423 --> 01:02:36,655 And then make a left, Gotcha! 984 01:02:40,827 --> 01:02:41,499 What is it? 985 01:02:41,588 --> 01:02:43,978 A special batch of my most powerful hair gel. 986 01:02:44,069 --> 01:02:45,583 If you get in real trouble, 987 01:02:45,951 --> 01:02:47,386 use your heads. 988 01:02:47,952 --> 01:02:50,548 Thank you, Voodoo Guru. But why do you help us? 989 01:02:50,634 --> 01:02:56,350 Because... Sometimes not just thugs need hugs, please... 990 01:02:56,838 --> 01:02:58,989 Whoa, buddy. We were after directions ok? 991 01:02:59,079 --> 01:03:00,958 Not therapy. Go go go! 992 01:03:02,882 --> 01:03:05,683 But it's your jingle! Remember... 993 01:03:05,884 --> 01:03:07,683 "Hugs for thugs, please, 994 01:03:07,765 --> 01:03:09,882 that's the way to go go go..." 995 01:03:10,007 --> 01:03:11,646 I'm so lonely... 996 01:03:14,009 --> 01:03:15,887 Are you sure you got those directions right? 997 01:03:16,131 --> 01:03:16,643 Mostly. 998 01:03:16,731 --> 01:03:17,608 Halfway through him telling me, 999 01:03:17,692 --> 01:03:19,604 I saw myself reflected in the bike mirror 1000 01:03:19,693 --> 01:03:21,571 and couldn't take my eyes off me. 1001 01:03:21,934 --> 01:03:23,688 Hey look - there I am again. 1002 01:03:23,776 --> 01:03:24,572 Hey, me! 1003 01:03:27,858 --> 01:03:28,690 Stuntmen! 1004 01:03:29,099 --> 01:03:31,900 Why did it have to be a stuntmen? 1005 01:03:44,549 --> 01:03:45,904 I think we lost 'em. 1006 01:03:45,990 --> 01:03:46,822 Now where was I? 1007 01:03:47,151 --> 01:03:47,947 Oh, yeah... 1008 01:03:48,032 --> 01:03:48,863 We're here. 1009 01:03:48,952 --> 01:03:50,864 We can admire our beauty, later. 1010 01:03:54,596 --> 01:03:56,076 What took you so long? 1011 01:03:57,198 --> 01:03:59,395 You save the day, I'll call the police. 1012 01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:03,842 That dude is starting to give me the irrits. 1013 01:04:04,082 --> 01:04:04,674 Mama! 1014 01:04:17,211 --> 01:04:18,611 Oh, Almighty One, 1015 01:04:18,692 --> 01:04:22,528 take these sacrifices unto you to ensure prosperity 1016 01:04:22,614 --> 01:04:25,847 for your followers and also as a bit of a lark... 1017 01:04:31,260 --> 01:04:33,572 Johnny, you're alive! 1018 01:04:36,543 --> 01:04:38,456 Lark this, monkey-lover. 1019 01:04:39,906 --> 01:04:41,625 That doesn't make any sense. 1020 01:04:41,987 --> 01:04:44,663 Do you even know what a "lark" is? 1021 01:04:46,790 --> 01:04:49,227 He means it's time to get Jiggy with it. 1022 01:04:50,593 --> 01:04:52,107 What does that even mean? 1023 01:04:52,474 --> 01:04:55,389 Can someone please dispose of these fools? 1024 01:05:35,662 --> 01:05:37,017 Can I get a "Go, Johnny?" 1025 01:05:37,303 --> 01:05:39,262 "Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny." 1026 01:05:39,665 --> 01:05:41,304 Now can I have a "Go, Jiggy?" 1027 01:05:41,666 --> 01:05:43,066 Nah. Needs more Johnny. 1028 01:05:44,508 --> 01:05:46,068 Not so fast, Bravo. 1029 01:05:46,630 --> 01:05:50,421 Neeeedsss mooorreee Joooohn... 1030 01:05:50,512 --> 01:05:52,265 What are you waiting for? Get them! 1031 01:06:01,079 --> 01:06:03,230 Whass a pretty monkey-lady like you doing 1032 01:06:03,321 --> 01:06:06,155 in an rotten person's den like this? 1033 01:06:06,843 --> 01:06:08,323 Y'know, your kinda cute. 1034 01:06:08,764 --> 01:06:12,556 Nice body, shame about the hairy, monkey-head... 1035 01:06:13,968 --> 01:06:14,446 Johnny... 1036 01:06:14,808 --> 01:06:15,480 Excuse me, miss... 1037 01:06:15,569 --> 01:06:17,846 Johnny, we are in real trouble... 1038 01:06:18,250 --> 01:06:20,050 If you get in real trouble, 1039 01:06:20,132 --> 01:06:22,090 use your heads... 1040 01:06:22,493 --> 01:06:23,928 Use your heads... 1041 01:06:24,414 --> 01:06:25,689 Your heads... 1042 01:06:26,015 --> 01:06:26,847 Heads... 1043 01:06:27,256 --> 01:06:28,611 Heads... 1044 01:06:29,138 --> 01:06:32,178 Man, just when I thought you couldn't get any weirder. 1045 01:06:45,068 --> 01:06:46,946 Is it? Are those...? 1046 01:06:50,472 --> 01:06:52,623 Beams of pure awesomeness. 1047 01:06:52,713 --> 01:06:53,624 Impossible! 1048 01:06:53,714 --> 01:06:56,275 Rays of utter beauty! It cannot be. 1049 01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:04,511 We give up! 1050 01:07:04,601 --> 01:07:05,193 We surrender! 1051 01:07:05,281 --> 01:07:07,399 We're too uncool to face such awesomeness. 1052 01:07:10,885 --> 01:07:13,002 I've seen enough cartoons to know 1053 01:07:13,086 --> 01:07:16,320 that the only thing left to do is unmask the Big Bad guy. 1054 01:07:17,970 --> 01:07:20,247 It's the Director from Bollywood Studios. 1055 01:07:20,852 --> 01:07:21,648 Waitasec... 1056 01:07:23,093 --> 01:07:26,486 It's the nameless head tiffin-wallah from the commissary. 1057 01:07:28,136 --> 01:07:31,017 It's the dangerous ape from the monkey palace. 1058 01:07:37,182 --> 01:07:37,934 Hey, me. 1059 01:07:38,823 --> 01:07:40,258 You know. Up close, 1060 01:07:40,344 --> 01:07:42,223 I don't look as bad as I thought. 1061 01:07:43,707 --> 01:07:44,663 Not the face. 1062 01:07:45,067 --> 01:07:48,267 Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle's mama. 1063 01:07:48,950 --> 01:07:50,305 Yes, it was me. 1064 01:07:50,591 --> 01:07:52,469 You see it's been my lifelong dream 1065 01:07:52,552 --> 01:07:55,946 to show all little aspiring monkey-cum-butler-cum-cult 1066 01:07:56,035 --> 01:08:00,555 assassins-cum-actors that it is possible to achieve all your dreams, 1067 01:08:00,638 --> 01:08:04,190 no matter how big or how small they may be. 1068 01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:05,796 I hear you monkey-boy. 1069 01:08:06,001 --> 01:08:07,720 And I feel your monkey-pain. 1070 01:08:08,043 --> 01:08:11,675 I once knew a monkey that wanted to be nothing more than a primate butler, 1071 01:08:11,765 --> 01:08:13,518 but he was kept down by the Man. 1072 01:08:13,766 --> 01:08:17,079 A hot, handsome man with hot handsome hair. 1073 01:08:17,329 --> 01:08:18,399 And hot handsome... 1074 01:08:19,450 --> 01:08:22,922 I believe I was in the middle of my melodramatic, 1075 01:08:23,012 --> 01:08:24,732 expositional monologue. 1076 01:08:24,974 --> 01:08:28,094 Whatever. Just wrap it up. This movie ain't called "Jai Ho Jeeves." 1077 01:08:28,176 --> 01:08:30,646 But don't you want me to explain how I... 1078 01:08:30,938 --> 01:08:32,577 Nah. Maybe just skip to the whole 1079 01:08:32,659 --> 01:08:34,378 "And I would've gotten away with it" bit... 1080 01:08:35,180 --> 01:08:36,091 Alright! 1081 01:08:36,661 --> 01:08:41,135 And I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids. 1082 01:08:41,585 --> 01:08:44,339 Yeah, yeah. We all know how the rest goes. 1083 01:08:44,707 --> 01:08:47,861 Man, do all supervillains just sit around watching Scooby Doo? 1084 01:08:48,549 --> 01:08:49,506 Hi, Velma, 1085 01:08:54,033 --> 01:08:56,184 You probably get this all the time, but 1086 01:08:56,274 --> 01:08:57,470 can we have your autograph? 1087 01:08:57,795 --> 01:09:00,437 Sure. Johnny Bravo does anything for his fans. 1088 01:09:03,839 --> 01:09:05,912 Not Johnny Bravo... Jeannie Ovarb. 1089 01:09:06,001 --> 01:09:08,198 We're all big fans down at the station... 1090 01:09:09,763 --> 01:09:12,518 Whatever floats your boat, officer. 1091 01:09:12,965 --> 01:09:15,163 How can you ever forgive me? 1092 01:09:15,247 --> 01:09:17,888 Well you can start by making me your agent. 1093 01:09:18,409 --> 01:09:19,764 And me your manager. 1094 01:09:20,130 --> 01:09:22,008 And we'll take, let's say, 1095 01:09:22,091 --> 01:09:22,923 eighty percent... 1096 01:09:23,212 --> 01:09:24,612 Eighty? Let's say forty. 1097 01:09:24,693 --> 01:09:25,125 Eighty. 1098 01:09:25,213 --> 01:09:25,692 Forty. 1099 01:09:25,774 --> 01:09:26,366 Forty. 1100 01:09:26,454 --> 01:09:26,966 Eighty... 1101 01:09:27,055 --> 01:09:27,692 Forty. 1102 01:09:27,775 --> 01:09:29,255 - Eighty. - They're the best little stalkers 1103 01:09:29,336 --> 01:09:32,330 who became ten year-old agents who I fired I ever met in my life. 1104 01:09:32,658 --> 01:09:33,090 Come on, 1105 01:09:33,179 --> 01:09:36,617 Johnny, let's blow this pop stand and go home, honey. 1106 01:09:36,981 --> 01:09:38,495 Run and say goodbye now. 1107 01:09:38,582 --> 01:09:39,459 Deal! 1108 01:09:39,623 --> 01:09:41,456 Eighty percent - sucker... 1109 01:09:42,224 --> 01:09:44,536 Just came to give you a goodbye present: 1110 01:09:45,186 --> 01:09:47,145 Looking at me while I say "goodbye." 1111 01:09:47,388 --> 01:09:50,143 We'll never forget you, Johnny Bravo. 1112 01:09:50,710 --> 01:09:52,384 Back at you, Slippy and Dippy. 1113 01:09:54,232 --> 01:09:56,953 You know there's no shame in being the second best 1114 01:09:57,034 --> 01:09:58,184 looking man in Bollywood. 1115 01:09:58,275 --> 01:10:01,110 I am glad you have accepted that, my friend. 1116 01:10:10,483 --> 01:10:11,280 Johnny! 1117 01:10:16,647 --> 01:10:17,524 Keep it, kid. 1118 01:10:18,128 --> 01:10:19,642 I realized something today. 1119 01:10:19,969 --> 01:10:22,929 The power of pure awesomeness isn't in any hair-gel. 1120 01:10:23,011 --> 01:10:25,368 It's in me. It always was. 1121 01:10:27,134 --> 01:10:30,811 Actually, it really was in the hair-gel. 1122 01:10:31,657 --> 01:10:33,376 Better give me a couple thousand.