Man: Have you noticed more mosquitos this summer?
I lived in l.A. For 11 years, man,
And there has never been a summer of mosquitos like this.
I know we're supposed to be flying into baltimore
To meet with your dad
And I think he just bought a new house with his girlfriend
So it'll be an interesting trip.
[ burps ]
And I don't think I'm ever gonna see that money again.
How many lacroix's have you had?
I don't know.
You know you're peeing your pants, right?
Oh, shit, dude. Get me another lacroix.
You're not done with that one.
Give me another lacroix!
I can't believe this is...Real, dude.
Go, go, go!
You got this!
Go, go, go, go!
What the heck?!
Aaah!
Keep going, buddy,!
Yeah!
♪♪
♪ well, I'm making life out of music ♪
♪ I'm taking the blues out of you ♪
♪ making life out of music ♪
♪ oooh ♪
Women: Yay!
-I did it! I won! -You're the winner.
So I guess I choose...
The door on the left.
Yes! [ women cheer ]
[ up-tempo music plays ]
[ ominous music plays ]
What is it?
It's a stairway to hell.
Woman: Awe.
You don't have to take it. Do you?
Yeah, choose the other door.
I can't. I already made my choice.
I chose the door on the left.
That's silly. Just choose another door.
You think? Yeah, you won.
Just choose another door.
Woman #2: I don't know.
She chose the door on the left.
You're right.
I made my choice.
I won!
Bye, guys!
[ up-tempo music plays ]
The best metaphor I know is you are on a path.
We're all sleepy and until we shake ourselves,
Then you're there.
I never want to be known.
I want to be.
Most of the time when you confront a problem,
I think you're just thirsty.
Drink a glass of water.
Everything will go away if you drink a glass of water.
Each minute is an unrepeatable miracle.
[ scoffs ] help.
What a fickle fool you have been your whole life.
-If you need help -- -beg for help.
-Help me. -To pause, stop.
What all of us will find in death is what most of us find
When we've just been watching television all night.
Our eyes get blurry, our mind wanders.
It's an eternal dream, and in that dream,
You are covered head to toe in
Dolce & gabbana and everyone thinks you look awesome.
Ooh! Mike?
Oh, crap.
Is -- is that our neighbor?
-Hi. -Yeah, it is and he likes to go
For walks with me, unlike a certain someone.
I-- wha-- I --
No, you don't get to act all offended.
You replaced me, pima!
I bet she's on a walk with you right now.
Ahh! Noo.
[ squeaks ] yup.
Mike, I wasn't replacing you.
I just wanted to have one that could fit in my lap.
First you stole my heart, then you took my balls.
-This is ridiculous. -And now this!
You'd think I just abandoned you?
I-I don't know!
I miss the spark we had.
Come here, boy.
Man on television: The male will then grasp her.
[ cellphone vibrates ]
And he does that by getting his forearms,
Which you notice are very, very strong.
And then he pushes her into the side just under the ribs.
Of course, first he's got to get his female.
[ vibrating continues ] and after the rain...
...Big areas of...
[ vibrating continues ]
♪♪
[ vibrating continues ]
♪♪
You think bush did 9/11?
Yeah.
♪♪
Shit! What's up?
[ smoke alert beeping rapidly ]
♪♪
Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.
What's up? Shh.
[ parking break clicks ]
Hey!
♪♪
[ thunder rumbling ]
[ thunder crashing ]
♪♪
The rain is beautiful.
Like faith glittering the morning light.
It makes me believe in god.
But I cannot believe in something I cannot see.
Perhaps I should find him.
♪♪
Hello?
I'm looking for god.
Is this where he lives?
I should've checked the phone book first.
Gawking, gilbert, golanski.
There is no god!
Some say god is in all.
He is nowhere at all.
Has he gone on a voyage?
Anybody seen goddard, by any chance?
[ all sobbing ]
♪♪
I've wasted my afternoon.
Every project I undertake fails miserably.
Do not despair. I know where god lives.
Up in the clouds.
You can find him at the top of the mountain.
Show me.
[ wind whistling ]
♪♪
♪ and now I go whether the day will ♪
♪ and know I know we all obey it ♪
♪ and now I know ♪
♪ we all now barter the believer ♪
♪ realize the baby is a healer ♪
♪ she grasped wisdom and yielded ♪
♪ she has a long road ♪
♪ there's a hole that you fill ♪
♪ you fill, you fill ♪
♪ but it's just that I fell in love with a war ♪
♪ and nobody told me it ended ♪
♪ and it left a pearl in my head ♪
♪ and I roll it around every night ♪
♪ just to watch it glow ♪
♪♪