1
00:00:00,493 --> 00:01:06,793
<i><b>♪ Fixed & Synced by
bozxphd.Enjoy The Flick ♪</b></i>

2
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:08,000
You're a fucking nerd.

3
00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:10,102
Boy, you lucky you
even graduating.

4
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,603
Fuck! Oh!

5
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,505
You're good at this, huh? Yeah.

6
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,441
You're really good at this.
Yeah.

7
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:16,241
Hey, you want to be friends?

8
00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:20,079
Yours isn't loaded, right?

9
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,749
Just touch it. I'm scared.

10
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,018
Just touch it.

11
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:26,752
Seriously. All right,
all right, all right.

12
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,789
You took a bullet for me, man.

13
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:31,657
You shot me in the dick!

14
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,227
Boom, motherfuckers!

15
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:37,463
You two sons of bitches
are going to college!

16
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:47,272
Yin is characterized
as slow, soft, passive

17
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,942
and is associated with
water and femininity.

18
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:54,346
<i> While, Yang, by contrast,
is fast and solid and...</i>

19
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,582
Man, this is bs.

20
00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:59,518
I thought we were going to actual
college, not online college.

21
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,753
Listening for coded
messages in lectures.

22
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:02,754
What are
you talking about?

23
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:03,655
Look around.

24
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:05,824
This is our city.

25
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:06,959
What do we want to
be in college for?

26
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:08,193
You're right.

27
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:10,762
Partners for life.

28
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,765
<i> At Metro city port, the
tide comes in at 10:30 A.M.</i>

29
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,434
<i> Then it will return to the sea.</i>

30
00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,469
Metro port. One hour.

31
00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:19,471
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

32
00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:21,406
let's do this.

33
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:24,143
<i> ¶ Turn down for what</i>

34
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:29,148
<i> ¶ turn down for what</i>

35
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,484
surprise. There's two more arms.

36
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:34,620
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

37
00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:38,690
<i> ¶ turn down for what</i>

38
00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:51,303
<i> ¶ turn down for what ¶</i>

39
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,939
- shit! That's the ghost.
- The ghost?

40
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,440
Joste nillsen,

41
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,309
biggest trafficker of illegal
goods in Metro city.

42
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,278
He teamed up with
a Mexican cartel

43
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,013
and they're running all
this shit through the port.

44
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:01,980
What the hell are we
supposed to be buying?

45
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:02,781
I don't know.

46
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,685
What are you doing? Huh?

47
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,320
I got a new identity
that's gonna be killer.

48
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,955
I'll be throwing it to
you to make it legit.

49
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,624
Okay.

50
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,393
I'm gonna need you to improvise.
Okay?

51
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:15,594
I don't want to improvise.

52
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,396
I'm gonna need you to improvise.

53
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,131
I suck at improvising.
I don't want to do it.

54
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:21,733
I need absolute silence while
I fall into character.

55
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,603
I need absolute silence while
I fall into character.

56
00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:27,406
Can you give me a
head start on...

57
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,875
I need absolute... I
need absolute silence.

58
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,277
Can you please...
Absolute silence.

59
00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:37,282
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

60
00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:49,962
Are you fucking
serious right now?

61
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:54,366
All right. I hate
people who are late.

62
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,471
We're trying to
see that product.

63
00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:00,806
Shit!

64
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,942
Yo, sleepy! What's up, homie?

65
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:05,811
You know my cousin, sad boy.

66
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,813
I think you got the
wrong guy, homes.

67
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:10,115
Oh, that's bullshit, man!
You sleepy!

68
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,650
Everyone say in the barrio,

69
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:14,486
"sleepy, he like the Mexican
Wolverine" and shit.

70
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,455
Hey, my partner here, he
want to see the product.

71
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,589
Why ain't he talking?

72
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,461
My name is Jeff.

73
00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:24,796
That's <i> jeffe,</i> man.

74
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,200
Tell 'em about mousie's
<i> quinceanera,</i> man.

75
00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:31,603
Tell 'em about that crazy
adventure you guys had.

76
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,940
I don't know what
you're talking about.

77
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,509
Oh, man, when you were telling
the story last night,

78
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,511
you had so much detail!

79
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,713
The detail was so rich! It was rich detail!

80
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:44,383
Go into incredibly
descriptive details

81
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,684
of the story, so we all know.

82
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:47,953
Oh, yes.

83
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,757
It was dora and Diego

84
00:04:52,258 --> 00:04:53,292
and swiper.

85
00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:54,993
Swiper?

86
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,595
Who was that you
choked out, man?

87
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,530
He had it coming! Who was that?

88
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,800
Boots.

89
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,137
No, man, that wasn't boots!
Boots isn't a real name!

90
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,305
You got to tell them
the real story, man.

91
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:08,273
Start over from the top.

92
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:11,376
That's a made-up name.

93
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:15,047
I can't believe the punks I
have to deal with these days.

94
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:22,688
It really makes
me miss the '90s,

95
00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:25,691
when we had
professionals around.

96
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:29,928
You want to check out the goods?

97
00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:32,798
Check it out.

98
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:37,035
And shut up. Right?

99
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,770
Where'd you find
this gringo, man?

100
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,540
At the fucking mumford & sons
concert and shit?

101
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,585
What is it?
Guns? Drugs?

102
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,388
No! No!

103
00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:58,957
Dude! It's gross!

104
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,826
It's inking in my mouth!

105
00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:03,462
I'll get it off.

106
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:06,565
Its tentacle is eating me!

107
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,533
It's so strong! It's
really on there, man.

108
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,668
It's biting my face!

109
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:14,172
Shit!

110
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,908
Black market exotic animals, just
like we expected to be in there.

111
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:17,976
The accents are gone, huh?

112
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,846
Take them out, guys.
They're cops.

113
00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:31,723
What was that? I don't know!
I think we're moving.

114
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,726
We're definitely moving!

115
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,294
There's fucking
birds and shit in here!

116
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,462
There's actual shit!

117
00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:39,431
What the fuck?

118
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,867
There's a fucking
dragon in here!

119
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:42,634
Shit!

120
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:46,705
What was that?

121
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,476
Dude, that was our car.

122
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,712
We shared so much in that car!

123
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:57,382
I'm going to shoot them in the face
for that! That was our fucking car!

124
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,384
What are you doing?

125
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,219
Don't <i> teen wolf</i> on the truck!

126
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:02,354
Don't leave me here alone!

127
00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:03,388
Then get up here!

128
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,823
I can't do that!

129
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:07,759
Then fucking climb around.
Come on, climb around.

130
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,795
Let's go. Come on, buddy.
You got it.

131
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:10,829
This is so scary!

132
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:11,897
Shoot him!

133
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,465
Don't
leave me out here!

134
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,400
I'm all out. You stupid moron!

135
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:16,501
That's it. Come on.

136
00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:20,472
Fucking get up here.
Come on. Fuck!

137
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:21,807
All right, you good? Yeah!

138
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,175
All you got to do is walk now, okay?
Okay.

139
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:26,845
Shit!

140
00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:30,649
What the fuck are you doing?
Get up here!

141
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,417
I can't!

142
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:34,252
All right, fine, I guess
I'll just drag you.

143
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,787
I'm gonna die!

144
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,423
You're not gonna die. Just
get the fuck up here!

145
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:44,196
Pull yourself up here.

146
00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:46,598
Use your core!

147
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,902
You got it, you got it.
Come on, come on. Yeah!

148
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:51,636
All right. Think you can
stand on your own now?

149
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,038
Yes!

150
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:53,805
I think we lost them.

151
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:56,107
Shit!

152
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:58,076
He's the fucking Terminator!

153
00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:00,011
That's fucking dangerous!

154
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,784
You are under arrest!

155
00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,819
Pull the truck over!

156
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,988
I said pull the fucking truck
over right fucking now!

157
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,724
You owe me a car,

158
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,226
and it'd better be a fucking
lamborghini, you bitch!

159
00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:15,560
I did it!

160
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:16,528
You have the right
to remain silent.

161
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,196
Oh, shit!

162
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,405
Holy Moses!

163
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:28,773
Shit.

164
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,576
What happened?

165
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:32,577
I think they got away.

166
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:38,650
Is that a hickey?

167
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:43,788
Oh. This was actually an
octopus-related incident.

168
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:48,860
I'd opened a crate and the
octopus had leapt onto my face.

169
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,663
Apparently, they have
many, many arms.

170
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,098
They have eight tentacles.

171
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,466
Yes, and...

172
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,434
Look, ladies,

173
00:08:56,436 --> 00:09:00,872
nobody gave a shit about the jump
street reboot when you first came on.

174
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,941
Anyone with half a
brain, myself included,

175
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,744
thought it was destined
to fail spectacularly.

176
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,312
But you got lucky.

177
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,080
So now this department
has invested

178
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:13,118
a lot of money to make sure
jump street keeps going.

179
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,353
We've doubled their budget.

180
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:18,189
As if spending twice the money
guaranteed twice the profit.

181
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,593
Like that's going to work.

182
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:25,864
Yeah. Well, the commissioner's
convinced this debacle happened

183
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:28,600
because you weren't doing the
same undercover student thing

184
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,001
you did the first time.

185
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,337
She doesn't get that
it's always worse

186
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,271
the second time around.

187
00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:36,207
You settle into worn-out roles.

188
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,877
One gets possessive,
the other runs away.

189
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,079
You begin a slow,
painful unraveling,

190
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,615
as all the good things
that came before

191
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:47,052
begin to be crushed by the
trash compactor of sadness.

192
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,221
That doesn't sound like us.
I mean...

193
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,890
I'm getting a divorce.

194
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:56,528
We don't want to
do the same thing.

195
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:58,930
We want to burst
through our ceiling.

196
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,265
And you're gonna
find another ceiling

197
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,800
and you got to bust
through that one,

198
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:02,601
and you just got to keep
hammering ceilings.

199
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,502
Okay, okay, okay.

200
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:07,172
What if we actually went
into the secret service

201
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:08,640
and, like, tried to
protect the white house?

202
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:10,809
I think... I don't
think that would work.

203
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,544
I'm going to ask you
to stop talking.

204
00:10:12,546 --> 00:10:13,979
I thought it was a
pretty good idea.

205
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:17,716
Do the same thing as last
time, everyone's happy.

206
00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:23,655
I can't believe the Koreans
bought their church back.

207
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,423
Yeah. Good thing there
was an even bigger

208
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,158
abandoned church directly
across the street.

209
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:30,829
Yeah. That's convenient.
Yes, it is convenient.

210
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,364
Next year, we'll probably just
be right back across the street.

211
00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:33,765
Just next door.

212
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,600
Let's not get
ahead of ourselves.

213
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:36,868
We're not ahead of ourselves.

214
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:37,402
We're right next to each other.

215
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:44,109
This is awesome. Like, way
more expensive for no reason.

216
00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:46,044
Look at dickson's office.

217
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:49,247
Looks like a giant cube of ice.

218
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,749
How you bitches like
jump street now?

219
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,017
Hey!

220
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,719
Y'all see this shit?

221
00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:57,689
22 jump street is the lick.

222
00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:59,224
And I got a big-ass raise

223
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:01,726
to babysit you two
fuckers again.

224
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:04,162
Designed it myself. We
got an espresso bar.

225
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,964
I'm thinking about a
shark tank over there.

226
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,432
Ooh, I like sharks.

227
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:11,202
Fuck a 21 jump street,
and fuck a Korean Jesus.

228
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,104
Whoa! Cap, come on, Korean
Jesus is right there.

229
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,739
That's
vietnamese Jesus.

230
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:16,941
See, this a vietnamese church.

231
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:20,345
You racist, sacrilegious
sack of shit.

232
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:25,116
Look at that. Vietnamese
Jesus just dripping swagoo.

233
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,651
And we got some new
dumb-ass interns.

234
00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:28,119
Hey, hey! Look alive! Huh?

235
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,321
Boys. Yo, jenko.

236
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,060
Hey, schmidt!

237
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,699
Don't do that.

238
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,801
So, they want the same
shit, so here we go.

239
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,170
Same identities.

240
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,139
Same assignment.

241
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,641
We're going
back to high school?

242
00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:51,576
Your ass look like you about 50.

243
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,111
You're going to mc state.

244
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,746
We're going to college for real?

245
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:58,216
Somebody's out there, they're
cooking up a new drug.

246
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:01,252
It's Adderall mixed with ecstasy
mixed with God knows what else.

247
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,888
"Wipey"?

248
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,157
No, you dumb motherfucker.
"Whyphy."

249
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,627
Stands for "work hard? Yes.
Play hard? Yes."

250
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,396
Now, these kids take this shit,

251
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:15,066
and they get laser-focused for
about four hours of studying,

252
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:18,169
and then they party
like it's goddamn 1999.

253
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:20,338
Who's this?

254
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,906
That's Cynthia Watson.

255
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,742
She was a student at mc state.

256
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:24,976
She took some whyphy,

257
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,244
got locked out of her dorm,

258
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,479
ended up falling off the roof.

259
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:29,247
And now she's dead.

260
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,953
That's her buying
drugs on campus.

261
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,654
And that's the dealer.

262
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,857
Find him and we
find the supplier.

263
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:41,726
Sir, can I just say,

264
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:45,597
it is so refreshing to have
a case with a black victim.

265
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:48,299
I mean, we care so much
more because she's black.

266
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,568
I think what he's
really trying to say

267
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:53,371
is that we care equally.

268
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:56,541
It's a tie, really,
how much we care.

269
00:12:56,543 --> 00:13:00,078
Uh... no, we're not. If it was a
white person, I wouldn't even care.

270
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,312
One less cracker-ass
cracker to worry about.

271
00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:06,484
Why every time you speak I
want to throw the fuck up?

272
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:09,387
Infiltrate the dealer,
find the supplier.

273
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,889
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

274
00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:20,565
You all right?

275
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,567
Yeah.

276
00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:24,402
It's just...

277
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:30,275
I'm the first person in my family
to pretend to go to college.

278
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,110
Best part is we get
to do it together.

279
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,246
What's up, college?

280
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,648
What's up, bro? We're 322.

281
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:37,715
Fuck high school, right?

282
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:38,850
Fuck high school.

283
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:41,052
Oh, so tight!

284
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,888
Oh, this is so baller!

285
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,890
Beds... oh, shit.

286
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:48,159
Oh, dope. That looks like cum.

287
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,828
That's cum. Okay. All right.

288
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,162
Already got cum on
the mattress, dawg.

289
00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:54,432
Welcome to college. Fuck, yeah.

290
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:04,309
Hilarious shirt that
signals we drink alcohol.

291
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:09,247
Some bacon machine
that my mom got me.

292
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:10,582
I do not understand
how it works.

293
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,226
It's true.

294
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,360
Super high-tech
police gear.

295
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:26,097
Carte blanche with the
budget, motherfucker.

296
00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:30,869
I'm going to veto that poster.

297
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,371
It's a touch childish.

298
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,107
Okay. What do lambos have to
do with touching children?

299
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,276
Lambos are lame.

300
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:41,112
I get one choice. I get
one thing that I'm not...

301
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,881
We have to agree. You
know what I mean?

302
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,383
What up, fellas? We're your
across-the-hall neighbors.

303
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,351
Oh, hey, there's two of you.
You're twins.

304
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,485
What's up, man?

305
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,854
We're the yangs, man. Kenny Yang.
What's up?

306
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,189
Keith Yang.

307
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,523
What's going on?
What's going on?

308
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:53,691
Did you say the yangs?

309
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,293
Yeah, dad's Chinese, man.

310
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,528
Our mom's not Chinese.
She's black.

311
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,997
Oh. She's like real black.

312
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,632
Like Wesley snipes black.
Exactly.

313
00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:01,666
We're brothers, too.

314
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:04,769
No. He's not kidding.
He's serious.

315
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,170
Oh, really?

316
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:07,605
What? Like, one of y'all older?

317
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,307
Mmm-hmm.

318
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,174
Yeah, 'cause you got crow's
feet under your eyes, man.

319
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,876
You specifically.

320
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:14,646
We're actually just
normal college age.

321
00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:16,314
I mean, even if you're a little
older, that's cool, man,

322
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,615
because, you know, girls
here love older dudes.

323
00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:18,917
That's true.

324
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,785
Plus, there's mad
fuckable girls here.

325
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,720
Mad fuckable. Especially
during spring break.

326
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,923
I love spring break.
But I do have to say,

327
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,424
I've fucked a
thousand girls by now

328
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,692
and I don't know, at
the end of the day,

329
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:28,960
you just kind of want something

330
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,061
that's just a little
deeper really.

331
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:33,932
Yeah, balls deeper.
Jinx. Buy me a coke.

332
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:37,335
Oh, snap, we're still saying the
same thing. This is amazing!

333
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:40,271
Carrots. Pumpernickels.
Glow sticks. Twins!

334
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,173
That's dope, dude.
That's so sick.

335
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:45,443
That's crazy. We have that
brother connection, too.

336
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,811
You ready? Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

337
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:48,513
Pirates! Baby feet! Paper clips!
Bananas!

338
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,481
Sun! Anger! I don't know! Words!

339
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,716
Quicksand! Shoes!

340
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,117
Boom!

341
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,552
That's hip-hop, man. Awesome.

342
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:55,453
That's great.

343
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,056
It's gonna be super fun.

344
00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,157
All right? Same as last time.

345
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,060
Dude, if it's like last time,

346
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,928
you're gonna have an awesome time,
and it's gonna suck for me.

347
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:05,596
No. You're gonna have
an awesome time, too,

348
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,165
because I'm gonna
make sure of it.

349
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,633
You took a bullet for me.

350
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,202
That's right, I did, and it
sucked, but I'd do it again.

351
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,404
No way. It's my turn. I
owe you a life debt.

352
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:14,505
Co-ed bathrooms.

353
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,307
What? Oh, shit.

354
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,077
I'm not
gonna take a shit

355
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:19,944
the entire time I'm here.

356
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,179
I know.

357
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:23,614
Hey. How you doing?

358
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:25,950
Hey.

359
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:28,686
What's up? 'Sup?

360
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,788
Just exhausted from
inventing Facebook

361
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,124
or whatever website
people our age use.

362
00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:38,129
They still have books?

363
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:40,198
I thought they just put the
books inside the computers.

364
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,734
Yeah, I guess the kids just use
the stacks to hide and have sex.

365
00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:44,736
So we'll go to all Cynthia's
classes and activities,

366
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:46,137
ask around about the drug

367
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,772
and find out who the dealer is.

368
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,040
Yeah, it's just like last time.

369
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,908
Exactly like last time.

370
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,076
Dude, in human sexuality,

371
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:53,644
do you get to fuck

372
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,146
or do you just get to
watch people fuck?

373
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:56,781
Neither.

374
00:16:58,150 --> 00:16:59,584
What the fuck am I
taking it for, then?

375
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,989
Now, obviously, we've all
heard this statement before,

376
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,726
I've got a first
impression for you.

377
00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:13,064
Oh, y'all like psychology?

378
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:14,399
Tracy Morgan.

379
00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:19,203
Nobody?

380
00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:22,640
Work hard,
play hard, am I right?

381
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:28,946
You looking for some whyphy?

382
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,048
Yeah, man, that'd be sick.

383
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,682
Go to the police station,

384
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,451
walk in and ask your captain
to see the evidence room

385
00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:34,252
'cause you're a fucking narc.

386
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:37,355
I think you're mistaken.

387
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,323
You're literally
wearing your badge.

388
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:40,291
Did you really just check to see

389
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,359
if you were wearing your badge?

390
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:42,360
This guy's a fucking cop.

391
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,128
I didn't look down.

392
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:50,368
"Wait, Professor Jacobs, doesn't
history happen a long time ago?"

393
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,203
Well, history happens...

394
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:55,306
This class is such a gut.

395
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,207
Hey, you guys play football?

396
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,209
No, this is actually my laptop.

397
00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,243
Yeah, I'm taking
notes right now.

398
00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,313
I'm kidding. It's a football.

399
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:03,314
Mr. mcquaid?

400
00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:05,550
Covalent bonds.

401
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:12,423
What has been the result
of the war on drugs?

402
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,592
Why would you ask me?
I'm not a cop.

403
00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:17,595
Because this is a
college seminar,

404
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,064
and that's how college
seminars work.

405
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:23,634
Professor gets into a lively
conversation with the student.

406
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,771
Friction creates fire, and
that leads to lessons learned.

407
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,039
Well, it's definitely
harder to get drugs.

408
00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:29,607
I can personally tell you that.

409
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,576
The average price of cocaine

410
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:34,545
has dropped 70% in
the last 30 years.

411
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,414
Then your dealer's probably selling
you some pretty stepped-on shit.

412
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:41,452
Mr. mcquaid, college
is a wonderful place.

413
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:45,022
This is where you get to
decide who you actually are,

414
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,725
instead of the person that you're
clearly pretending to be right now,

415
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:50,161
which everyone sees
through, by the way.

416
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:53,664
You got to decide, "do I just
keep doing the same thing,

417
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:56,100
"or am I gonna choose
a different path

418
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:57,602
"and question my convictions?"

419
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,705
I don't have any
prior convictions.

420
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:05,309
Why are you saying this stuff?

421
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:10,448
That's exactly the answer I wanted, Mr.
mcquaid!

422
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,884
I want you to question
what I'm saying.

423
00:19:12,886 --> 00:19:15,219
This is the basis of
this whole course,

424
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:16,821
and that's the
beauty of college.

425
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,389
You can say whatever you want.

426
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,057
You can be whatever you want.

427
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,894
I mean, I have tenure. I can
really say whatever I want.

428
00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,595
George Washington was
a black lesbian.

429
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,430
The eiffel tower
is made of dildos.

430
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,199
They can't fire me.
I'm indestructible.

431
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:30,801
I'm sleeping with
two of my students.

432
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,069
Her and her. I actually am.

433
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:34,138
Now, just like you did before,

434
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:37,742
I want you right now to
say whatever you want.

435
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,377
Say whatever you want.

436
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,913
Fieto.

437
00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:45,183
"Fieto," not a word, but
I'm gonna accept it.

438
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:48,152
You can do whatever you want
with your life, Mr. mcquaid.

439
00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:50,121
The only way you can
fail this class

440
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:52,523
is by not becoming
who you truly are.

441
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:54,792
Please respond to my text.

442
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,798
Okay, we got time
for just one more improv game.

443
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,800
For this one, we need a ton
of different suggestions.

444
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:05,036
So, we just need you guys
to fill in the blank

445
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,637
in a sentence that
we're gonna set up.

446
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:09,373
So it'll go like this. Oh, I'm
so hungry, I wish I had a...

447
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,342
Tampon! Okay, but we want...

448
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,710
We want it to be actual food

449
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,145
so that it, like, makes
sense with the game.

450
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:17,081
It's more fun that way. So, uh,
let's try it one more time.

451
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,116
Oh, I've got to get home
so I can feed my...

452
00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:20,651
Boner!

453
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:21,953
You know what? Let's just
play the game, okay?

454
00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:24,388
All right, so
what would you...

455
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,856
Hey, that girl's
in my psych class.

456
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:27,258
Damn, she's hot. Go talk to her.

457
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,759
You come talk to her with me.

458
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:31,462
Stop being a pussy and
go talk to her. Go.

459
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:32,763
<i> All right, all right.</i>

460
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,832
<i> Coming to the stage, we got...</i>

461
00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:38,970
<i> J. Bohnes, aka...</i>

462
00:20:38,972 --> 00:20:41,072
Hey. Hi.

463
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,473
I think we're in the
same psych class.

464
00:20:43,108 --> 00:20:44,642
Oh, yeah. Hi.

465
00:20:45,143 --> 00:20:46,244
Yeah.

466
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:51,115
<i> "Pills! Pills! Bills! Pills!</i>

467
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:54,619
<i> "Bills! A sign of the
times that rhymes</i>

468
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,487
<i> "Amanda bynes</i>

469
00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:59,156
<i> "drop that raggedy Andy circus</i>

470
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,058
<i> "circle jerkus..."</i>

471
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:03,027
You guys are the improv guys, right?
Yeah.

472
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:04,428
That's cool.

473
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,230
You're the guy with the
terrible suggestions.

474
00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:08,933
Yeah, yeah. You're welcome, man.
Yeah.

475
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:12,236
<i> Thanks, guys. Um, lady j is
gonna be up next for you.</i>

476
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:14,639
Cynthia, that girl who died,

477
00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:15,840
she used to come here
all the time, right?

478
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,074
Mmm.

479
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:19,877
This piece is called <i> areolas.</i>

480
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:22,346
Did you know her?

481
00:21:22,348 --> 00:21:24,315
Yeah, she lived across
the hall from me.

482
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:25,750
Yeah? So why do
you care so much?

483
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:28,352
I'm... I'm writing a...

484
00:21:29,154 --> 00:21:30,588
<i> "Greedy man hands!"</i>

485
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:33,157
...a slam poem in her honor.

486
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:34,759
Early stages, very early stages.

487
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:36,060
Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

488
00:21:36,062 --> 00:21:37,561
Wouldn't it be better

489
00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:39,130
just to, like, plan the
stuff out ahead of time,

490
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:42,800
and then not say it in front of
people and embarrass yourself?

491
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:46,237
That's a thing that people do.
That's stand-up comedy.

492
00:21:46,239 --> 00:21:47,371
That's probably
what you should do,

493
00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:49,073
because that stuff's funny.

494
00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:53,010
<i> "My brown nipple will produce
white milk during lactation..."</i>

495
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:54,612
What do you think of this?

496
00:21:54,614 --> 00:21:56,614
I actually think it's
really powerful.

497
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,149
That's cool that you said that,

498
00:21:58,151 --> 00:22:00,351
'cause I actually thought it
was really powerful, too,

499
00:22:00,353 --> 00:22:03,020
when the one girl was talking
about her nips and shit.

500
00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:08,426
<i> Okay, does anybody have
anything they want to share?</i>

501
00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:09,760
Let's see what you got.

502
00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:11,395
<i> Any more poets in the audience?</i>

503
00:22:11,397 --> 00:22:12,396
I... I mean, do you
really do poetry?

504
00:22:13,131 --> 00:22:14,799
I do, and I will.

505
00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:16,167
I got somebody. What?

506
00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:18,969
<i> Okay, we got somebody. All
right, give it up, guys.</i>

507
00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,371
Yeah! Okay.

508
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:21,639
Just go up there.
All right, okay.

509
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:22,807
Okay. No pressure.

510
00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:23,607
You'll see, it's good. Yeah!

511
00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:30,681
<i> Um...</i>

512
00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:34,752
<i> This is a work in progress.</i>

513
00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:37,688
<i> So, uh...</i>

514
00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:44,562
<i> "Slam poetry!</i>

515
00:22:45,263 --> 00:22:46,464
<i> "Yelling!</i>

516
00:22:47,165 --> 00:22:48,099
<i> "Angry!</i>

517
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:52,770
<i> "Waving my hands a lot!</i>

518
00:22:52,772 --> 00:22:54,972
<i> "Specific point
of view on things</i>

519
00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:56,774
<i> "Cynthia!</i>

520
00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:00,478
<i> "Cynthia</i>

521
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,714
<i> "Jesus died for
our sin-thee-uhs</i>

522
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:05,616
<i> "Jesus cried</i>

523
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:07,585
<i> "runaway bride</i>

524
00:23:08,653 --> 00:23:10,121
<i> "Julia Roberts!</i>

525
00:23:10,956 --> 00:23:12,757
<i> "Julia rob</i>

526
00:23:13,525 --> 00:23:14,525
<i> "hurts</i>

527
00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:17,962
<i> "Cynthia!</i>

528
00:23:20,133 --> 00:23:22,233
<i> "Cynthia</i>

529
00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:23,934
<i> "you're dead you are dead</i>

530
00:23:28,273 --> 00:23:29,073
<i> "You're dead"</i>

531
00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:33,144
<i> that's for Cynthia, who's dead.</i>

532
00:23:39,017 --> 00:23:40,017
Whoo!

533
00:23:46,458 --> 00:23:48,192
I don't have a single lead.

534
00:23:48,194 --> 00:23:51,028
I do. I hear you can get whyphy
on campus anywhere 24/7.

535
00:23:53,231 --> 00:23:54,899
Do you think they
mean whyphy the drug

536
00:23:54,901 --> 00:23:55,900
or wi-fi like the Internet?

537
00:23:57,335 --> 00:23:58,869
What...

538
00:24:00,238 --> 00:24:02,339
Fuck you, brain.

539
00:24:02,341 --> 00:24:05,509
How did we find the dealers
so easy the first time?

540
00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:07,011
Well, his number was
literally on a sticker.

541
00:24:07,013 --> 00:24:09,013
Well, let's go find
this guy's sticker.

542
00:24:09,015 --> 00:24:10,781
I don't think this
guy does stickers.

543
00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:13,717
Well, we need help. We
need to consult an expert.

544
00:24:13,719 --> 00:24:15,686
Yo, dude, you shot
him in the dick, dude.

545
00:24:15,688 --> 00:24:16,754
I got him in the dick. Yep.

546
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:19,190
"Shot him in the dick."

547
00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,529
If it isn't Turner and
hooch, in the flesh.

548
00:24:25,531 --> 00:24:27,998
Holy shit, you are looking fit.

549
00:24:29,469 --> 00:24:32,436
Hey, you should get some
tips from this guy.

550
00:24:32,438 --> 00:24:35,172
He's looking good. Look at
those pectoral muscles.

551
00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:37,241
That's the kind of definition
I want out of you, man.

552
00:24:37,243 --> 00:24:39,076
What's up, Eric? Hey.

553
00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:41,645
Mr. Walters, we should, um...

554
00:24:41,647 --> 00:24:43,180
Or I should apologize for, uh...

555
00:24:45,617 --> 00:24:47,117
For shooting my penis off?

556
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:48,486
Yeah. Yeah.

557
00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:51,822
Don't sweat it, brother. I'm liberated.
Totally.

558
00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:52,756
You know they gave me a vagina?

559
00:24:53,758 --> 00:24:55,693
It's awesome. You
guys want to see it?

560
00:24:55,695 --> 00:24:57,761
No, no, no, no! No, no, no.

561
00:24:57,763 --> 00:24:59,930
That's fine. All right.
Eric's seen it.

562
00:24:59,932 --> 00:25:02,266
Eric's been all up in that shit.
Isn't that right, Eric?

563
00:25:02,268 --> 00:25:03,734
You guys got to get me
the fuck out of here.

564
00:25:03,736 --> 00:25:04,768
Hey, guess what.

565
00:25:04,770 --> 00:25:05,769
I'm Eric's bitch.

566
00:25:06,271 --> 00:25:07,404
No, you're not.

567
00:25:07,406 --> 00:25:09,206
Yes! I am!

568
00:25:09,774 --> 00:25:10,875
I'm your bitch.

569
00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:14,545
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, honey.

570
00:25:14,547 --> 00:25:16,914
I didn't mean that.
You know that, right?

571
00:25:16,916 --> 00:25:18,883
I am such a bitch when
aunt flo shows up.

572
00:25:18,885 --> 00:25:21,886
It bleeds so much, it's crazy.

573
00:25:21,888 --> 00:25:24,288
It's like the elevator doors
opening in <i> the shining.</i>

574
00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:26,957
Your vagina doesn't
fucking work, man.

575
00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:29,627
Worked for you last night.

576
00:25:29,629 --> 00:25:32,963
You are so clearly forcing
Eric into this relationship.

577
00:25:32,965 --> 00:25:35,032
Eric, am I forcing
you into anything?

578
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:37,268
Yes.  See?

579
00:25:37,270 --> 00:25:38,669
Look, they sent us in
undercover at a college

580
00:25:38,671 --> 00:25:40,304
to find the dealer of
this new synthetic,

581
00:25:40,306 --> 00:25:42,339
and no one will
tell us anything.

582
00:25:42,341 --> 00:25:44,608
That's 'cause you guys look
like fucking narcs, all right?

583
00:25:44,610 --> 00:25:46,210
College kids aren't
dumb like Eric.

584
00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:47,845
I was supposed to
go to Berkeley.

585
00:25:47,847 --> 00:25:50,581
Well, they gave us a
picture, so we do have that.

586
00:25:50,583 --> 00:25:51,749
Well, that's your
lead, motherfucker!

587
00:25:51,751 --> 00:25:53,651
That's what you start with.

588
00:25:53,653 --> 00:25:55,619
I know, but we can't see his face,
so we don't know who it is.

589
00:25:55,621 --> 00:25:57,655
"We don't know who it is.

590
00:25:57,657 --> 00:25:59,723
"I'm schmidt. My pants
are filled with doody."

591
00:25:59,725 --> 00:26:01,792
That's you.

592
00:26:01,794 --> 00:26:02,760
That doesn't sound
anything like me.

593
00:26:04,029 --> 00:26:05,596
You sort of sound like that.

594
00:26:05,598 --> 00:26:06,764
That doesn't sound
anything like me.

595
00:26:06,766 --> 00:26:07,831
"That doesn't sound
anything like me."

596
00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:09,266
It's not not you.

597
00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:13,237
Eric! Close your eyes and tell
me who's talking right now.

598
00:26:14,974 --> 00:26:16,974
That's schmidt being
a little bitch.

599
00:26:16,976 --> 00:26:18,542
That's just not a
good impression.

600
00:26:18,544 --> 00:26:19,743
Whoa!

601
00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:21,679
Nice job, super sleuths.

602
00:26:21,681 --> 00:26:22,980
Did you even bother to look
at the fucking picture?

603
00:26:23,481 --> 00:26:25,015
Yeah. Huh?

604
00:26:25,017 --> 00:26:26,050
There's a reflection right here.

605
00:26:27,819 --> 00:26:29,987
Your fucking guy's got a tattoo.

606
00:26:29,989 --> 00:26:33,557
Find the tattoo,
find the dealer.

607
00:26:33,559 --> 00:26:37,728
Fuck, man, I don't know. I do a lot
of stupid tattoos to drunk kids.

608
00:26:37,730 --> 00:26:39,063
Do you remember
that stupid tattoo?

609
00:26:39,065 --> 00:26:40,931
A bazooka?

610
00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:44,535
Think I might have did
it on a football player.

611
00:26:44,537 --> 00:26:45,903
Guy with a red mohawk.
I don't know.

612
00:26:45,905 --> 00:26:47,771
They all start to
look the same to me.

613
00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:49,607
I think I know exactly
who he's talking about.

614
00:26:52,444 --> 00:26:54,378
Fuck you!

615
00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:56,981
Fuck you, you little
walk-on fuck!

616
00:26:56,983 --> 00:26:58,782
I can't, like, move
around in these things.

617
00:26:58,784 --> 00:27:00,451
God, I
love walk-on day!

618
00:27:00,453 --> 00:27:01,318
Fuck, yeah.

619
00:27:04,022 --> 00:27:05,489
That's a weird time
to be q-tipping.

620
00:27:05,491 --> 00:27:08,325
You're all fucking pussies!

621
00:27:08,327 --> 00:27:10,260
Dude, you don't have to do this.
What?

622
00:27:10,262 --> 00:27:11,829
I just don't want you to get hurt.
I'm not gonna get...

623
00:27:11,831 --> 00:27:12,963
Whoops.

624
00:27:12,965 --> 00:27:14,264
Shit. Whoa.

625
00:27:14,266 --> 00:27:15,833
Dude, I am so sorry.

626
00:27:15,835 --> 00:27:16,934
It's all right, man. Don't
worry about it, man.

627
00:27:16,936 --> 00:27:18,402
Are you sure? All right...
Yeah. Ow.

628
00:27:18,404 --> 00:27:20,471
Shit. I got it.

629
00:27:20,473 --> 00:27:21,705
Okay, I got it, I got it.

630
00:27:21,707 --> 00:27:23,307
Ow! That's fine.

631
00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:24,875
I'll get it. No, no, let
me get it, let me get it.

632
00:27:24,877 --> 00:27:26,276
No, I got it. Let me just get it.
No, let me get it.

633
00:27:26,278 --> 00:27:28,312
I got it, I got it.
Let's just...

634
00:27:28,314 --> 00:27:31,048
Dude, I'm sorry. I got my
q-tip in your meat, bro.

635
00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:33,050
No, man, I got my... I got
my meat in your q-tip.

636
00:27:33,052 --> 00:27:35,319
It's like a whole new
type of sandwich.

637
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,287
Like, a meat q-tip.

638
00:27:37,289 --> 00:27:38,122
Like a meat-qute.

639
00:27:40,725 --> 00:27:42,126
That's funny.

640
00:27:42,128 --> 00:27:43,727
Hey, you guys want
some of this sandwich?

641
00:27:43,729 --> 00:27:45,129
It's a meat-qute sandwich.

642
00:27:45,131 --> 00:27:47,398
Me and this guy are having a meat-qute.

643
00:27:49,267 --> 00:27:51,035
You're hilarious, dude.
What's your name?

644
00:27:51,037 --> 00:27:53,070
Brad. Wait... Brad.

645
00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:54,405
Uh, yeah, yeah, it's Brad.

646
00:27:54,407 --> 00:27:55,839
I'm zook. Nice to meet you.
Zook.

647
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:57,808
Nice to meet you, too, man.

648
00:27:58,610 --> 00:27:59,810
Blue 20!

649
00:28:01,246 --> 00:28:02,413
Blue 20!

650
00:28:03,248 --> 00:28:04,381
Set, hut!

651
00:28:05,650 --> 00:28:07,317
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

652
00:28:26,604 --> 00:28:27,438
You love walk-on day now?

653
00:28:31,643 --> 00:28:32,876
Your arm all right? You want
to take that sleeve off?

654
00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:36,380
No, I'm good.

655
00:28:38,316 --> 00:28:40,684
Dude, holy shit, bro. Great
fucking catch, dude.

656
00:28:40,686 --> 00:28:44,455
If you see that safety line up
that deep, though, hit me quicker.

657
00:28:44,457 --> 00:28:46,356
Oh, yeah, I didn't know you
had wheels like that, bro.

658
00:28:46,358 --> 00:28:48,058
It's funny, 'cause he's my brother.
So...

659
00:28:48,626 --> 00:28:50,194
Um...

660
00:28:50,196 --> 00:28:53,931
Hey, uh, you know, we have
this rush party at zeta.

661
00:28:53,933 --> 00:28:56,800
but I thought, you know, you
could come by and meet the guys.

662
00:28:56,802 --> 00:28:58,302
It'd be really fun, I think.

663
00:28:58,304 --> 00:28:59,436
Great. Yeah, maybe we will.

664
00:29:00,972 --> 00:29:02,606
Are you guys, like, together?

665
00:29:02,608 --> 00:29:04,508
Yeah. Yeah, this is my bro.

666
00:29:04,510 --> 00:29:07,044
That's... Funny, dude.
You're funny.

667
00:29:07,512 --> 00:29:09,012
Oh.

668
00:29:09,014 --> 00:29:10,714
Uh, really? Wow. Um, okay.

669
00:29:10,716 --> 00:29:12,483
Yeah, man, sure. You,
too, you can come, too.

670
00:29:12,485 --> 00:29:13,917
We'll see what we can do.

671
00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:15,052
Also, I said a bunch
of stuff earlier

672
00:29:15,054 --> 00:29:16,186
that you didn't acknowledge...

673
00:29:16,188 --> 00:29:18,055
Great catch. Cool, yeah.

674
00:29:18,057 --> 00:29:19,156
See you then. So you
won't address that?

675
00:29:19,158 --> 00:29:20,624
What the fuck's
up with that guy?

676
00:29:20,626 --> 00:29:22,526
All we have to do now is
rush the frat long enough

677
00:29:22,528 --> 00:29:25,295
to confirm that rooster
has that bazooka tattoo.

678
00:29:25,297 --> 00:29:27,364
Look, man, do you think
it's cool if you come?

679
00:29:27,366 --> 00:29:29,533
'Cause, I mean, he kind
of really just asked me.

680
00:29:29,535 --> 00:29:30,601
I just don't want to start off

681
00:29:30,603 --> 00:29:31,301
on the wrong foot with this guy.

682
00:29:33,639 --> 00:29:36,206
Dude, you're tripping. We
do everything together.

683
00:29:36,208 --> 00:29:37,841
You should lose the
puka shells, though.

684
00:29:37,843 --> 00:29:40,210
Things are different since
you didn't go to college.

685
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:43,347
Yo, Brad! What's up, dude?

686
00:29:44,315 --> 00:29:45,716
Same puka, dude.

687
00:29:45,718 --> 00:29:47,017
You got the same... Puka bros.

688
00:29:47,019 --> 00:29:48,252
Holy shit!

689
00:29:49,354 --> 00:29:50,454
Look at him, it's,
like, all the same.

690
00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:51,955
Dude, you wear pants, too?

691
00:29:51,957 --> 00:29:54,024
What? Bros, man. Dude.

692
00:29:54,026 --> 00:29:55,626
I knew we were gonna be
connected, just like that.

693
00:29:55,628 --> 00:29:57,094
Yeah, why don't you guys
just tie your dicks together

694
00:29:57,096 --> 00:29:57,895
and get married, right, rooster?

695
00:29:57,897 --> 00:29:59,930
Rooster. What's up, bro?

696
00:29:59,932 --> 00:30:01,431
You look good, man.

697
00:30:01,433 --> 00:30:02,766
What's up, rooster?

698
00:30:02,768 --> 00:30:04,434
How you doing, man?
Digging the puka.

699
00:30:04,436 --> 00:30:05,769
Thanks, dude. I can't
believe it's the same...

700
00:30:05,771 --> 00:30:07,070
How you doing, rooster?

701
00:30:07,072 --> 00:30:08,205
Rooster is getting some pop.

702
00:30:08,207 --> 00:30:09,139
Why don't you go check him out?

703
00:30:13,478 --> 00:30:14,545
- You in the zone, bro?
- In the fucking zone, dude.

704
00:30:19,551 --> 00:30:20,951
Hey. What's up?

705
00:30:21,719 --> 00:30:22,920
What's up? I'm rooster.

706
00:30:22,922 --> 00:30:24,755
Oh, yeah, no.

707
00:30:24,757 --> 00:30:26,089
We've met before.

708
00:30:26,091 --> 00:30:27,524
Oh, really? I don't
remember that at all.

709
00:30:27,526 --> 00:30:29,459
You must just have a
really plain face.

710
00:30:29,461 --> 00:30:31,261
Yeah. They call me
ol' plain face.

711
00:30:31,963 --> 00:30:33,564
They call you that?

712
00:30:33,566 --> 00:30:36,600
So, do you have any body art
or, like, any ink I could see?

713
00:30:36,602 --> 00:30:38,602
That's a pretty random question.

714
00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:41,071
Hey, anyway, it was so nice
chatting with you, man.

715
00:30:41,073 --> 00:30:42,406
Nice to meet you, man.

716
00:30:42,408 --> 00:30:43,440
Yo, what the fuck, bro?

717
00:30:43,442 --> 00:30:44,641
Yo, what the fuck are
you doing, dude?

718
00:30:44,643 --> 00:30:45,676
You serious right now? You...

719
00:30:45,678 --> 00:30:47,044
You're being weird.

720
00:30:48,379 --> 00:30:49,246
You've been weird.

721
00:30:51,082 --> 00:30:53,684
It was just like,
"what am I hearing?

722
00:30:53,686 --> 00:30:54,918
"What am I hearing right now?"

723
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:55,919
And the psychic told you that?

724
00:30:55,921 --> 00:30:57,521
Yo. That is so crazy, dude.

725
00:30:57,523 --> 00:30:59,189
Hey, dude, you want
to go see the roof?

726
00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:00,557
Fuck yeah, I want to
see the roof, dude.

727
00:31:00,559 --> 00:31:02,226
Come on, let's go, let's go.
Come on.

728
00:31:02,228 --> 00:31:03,093
Come on to the roof, come
on to the roof. Let's go.

729
00:31:08,533 --> 00:31:10,234
Come on, you can do it.
Come on, come on, come on!

730
00:31:13,004 --> 00:31:15,472
I miss climbing so much.
Come on, let's go. Come on.

731
00:31:15,474 --> 00:31:16,540
All right, uh...

732
00:31:21,679 --> 00:31:23,080
One more time.

733
00:31:23,082 --> 00:31:25,015
I'm just gonna go home.

734
00:31:25,017 --> 00:31:26,283
I don't know parkour, so...

735
00:31:27,452 --> 00:31:28,285
All right.

736
00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:35,025
Hey, Maya angelou!

737
00:31:36,962 --> 00:31:39,496
Poetry, okay. I got it.

738
00:31:39,498 --> 00:31:40,564
Make fun of the poetry major.

739
00:31:42,033 --> 00:31:43,533
So, I guess you have no interest

740
00:31:43,535 --> 00:31:45,168
in having a real
job in the future.

741
00:31:45,170 --> 00:31:47,371
Absolutely not. No, right?

742
00:31:47,373 --> 00:31:49,773
What about you?

743
00:31:49,775 --> 00:31:52,142
Um, I'm an art major.

744
00:31:52,144 --> 00:31:55,245
Okay. So you definitely cannot
talk any shit, 'cause...

745
00:31:55,247 --> 00:31:57,281
No, I can't. I cannot.

746
00:31:57,283 --> 00:31:58,181
...you're never gonna make any money.

747
00:31:58,183 --> 00:32:00,183
I'm never gonna make any money,

748
00:32:00,185 --> 00:32:02,119
so don't tell my parents, but...

749
00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:03,320
When I talk to your
parents tonight,

750
00:32:03,322 --> 00:32:05,155
I will not tell them
about your major.

751
00:32:05,157 --> 00:32:06,757
Okay, thank you. You're welcome.

752
00:32:06,759 --> 00:32:08,191
All right, art major.

753
00:32:09,027 --> 00:32:10,961
What do you think about that?

754
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:15,666
Um, I would say that

755
00:32:17,101 --> 00:32:20,070
it's these two beings

756
00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:22,940
leaning up against each
other in perfect balance.

757
00:32:22,942 --> 00:32:25,609
If one were to fall, they
would just lose each other.

758
00:32:26,577 --> 00:32:28,679
So it's just about support.

759
00:32:30,882 --> 00:32:33,483
You can't admit that it looks
exactly like testicles?

760
00:32:35,253 --> 00:32:37,120
That's exactly
what it looks like.

761
00:32:40,224 --> 00:32:42,893
So, is there someone
who supports you?

762
00:32:42,895 --> 00:32:44,394
No, I'm just one of those people

763
00:32:44,396 --> 00:32:46,563
that really likes to
spend time with myself.

764
00:32:47,665 --> 00:32:50,033
Tell me about it.

765
00:32:50,035 --> 00:32:53,370
I love to be alone. I am,
like, the best at it.

766
00:32:53,372 --> 00:32:56,373
I just love when you're
sitting there in a room,

767
00:32:56,375 --> 00:32:57,975
and you're just there
with your thoughts,

768
00:32:57,977 --> 00:33:00,043
and you're like, "oh,
my gosh, I'm alone.

769
00:33:00,045 --> 00:33:01,845
"Would anyone ever
love me?" Or whatever.

770
00:33:01,847 --> 00:33:04,614
And, like, "do I know
anyone who would care

771
00:33:04,616 --> 00:33:06,717
"if I just ever came out
of this room or not?"

772
00:33:06,719 --> 00:33:08,352
Or whatever and, like...

773
00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:09,519
I don't know. It's just peaceful.
I just like it.

774
00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:11,154
Yeah.

775
00:33:11,156 --> 00:33:13,090
Well, if you don't want
to be alone tonight,

776
00:33:13,092 --> 00:33:14,358
we are gonna go hang out
at the art building,

777
00:33:14,959 --> 00:33:16,526
if you want to come.

778
00:33:17,095 --> 00:33:18,562
Okay, okay.

779
00:33:19,731 --> 00:33:21,631
Okay. Okay.

780
00:33:28,106 --> 00:33:30,107
I expected tonight would go in a
way that you wouldn't expect,

781
00:33:30,109 --> 00:33:31,508
but what I didn't expect
was tonight would go

782
00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:33,443
in the exact way that
you would expect.

783
00:33:33,445 --> 00:33:36,413
You know what I mean? Totally.

784
00:33:36,415 --> 00:33:38,248
So you guys hang out here a lot?

785
00:33:38,250 --> 00:33:40,717
Yeah. I mean, we're not into the
whole frat party kind of stuff.

786
00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:42,452
We like to sit around,
just drink some good wine

787
00:33:42,454 --> 00:33:44,454
and talk about some
important stuff.

788
00:33:44,456 --> 00:33:48,558
Banging bitches and getting
wasted all fucking day.

789
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,660
Those are, like, two of
my favorite things to do.

790
00:33:50,662 --> 00:33:53,296
You are, like, a slightly
less attractive version of...

791
00:33:53,298 --> 00:33:54,464
Picasso? Picasso.

792
00:33:54,466 --> 00:33:55,532
Right? I've been
told that before.

793
00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:56,333
You read my mind.

794
00:33:58,069 --> 00:33:59,102
What?

795
00:34:18,323 --> 00:34:20,257
Oh, that's Cynthia
Watson's room.

796
00:34:20,992 --> 00:34:22,526
Oh.

797
00:34:22,528 --> 00:34:26,063
It's only 2:00. I thought it was late.
Do you want to come in?

798
00:34:26,065 --> 00:34:29,332
It's only 2:00? I usually go to
dinner at, like, 2:00 A.M., so...

799
00:34:29,334 --> 00:34:30,834
Sure, yeah, why not?

800
00:34:34,205 --> 00:34:35,839
I'm gonna do it. I just
got to get it at the right angle.

801
00:34:38,377 --> 00:34:40,277
Stupid fucking goalpost!

802
00:34:40,279 --> 00:34:42,712
It's impossible. You
can't fucking do it.

803
00:34:42,714 --> 00:34:44,848
The fans used to rush the field

804
00:34:44,850 --> 00:34:46,483
after every win and tear
down the goalposts,

805
00:34:46,485 --> 00:34:49,052
and coach hated it. And
so he cemented them in.

806
00:34:49,054 --> 00:34:50,454
They storm the field,
and still do it,

807
00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:52,222
but they just bounce around.

808
00:34:52,224 --> 00:34:53,557
Fuck this
goalpost, bro!

809
00:34:53,559 --> 00:34:54,858
You guys might want to hold on,

810
00:34:54,860 --> 00:34:57,427
'cause this shit is coming down.

811
00:35:01,532 --> 00:35:04,534
Yo, what is that? The tattoo,
what's that right there?

812
00:35:04,536 --> 00:35:06,069
Oh. Oh, this? Mmm-hmm.

813
00:35:06,071 --> 00:35:09,706
It's my old high school team.
The plainview red herrings.

814
00:35:09,708 --> 00:35:10,474
Look at it swim.

815
00:35:12,343 --> 00:35:14,678
Shit. What?

816
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,580
Shit, that's a really
outside-of-the-box

817
00:35:17,715 --> 00:35:18,515
high school mascot.

818
00:35:18,916 --> 00:35:20,383
Hold on, guys.

819
00:35:23,454 --> 00:35:25,755
Hey, why don't you
come to practice today?

820
00:35:25,757 --> 00:35:27,624
I mean, you're obviously good
enough to play on the team.

821
00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:30,760
Look, I'm not supposed to
be here to play football.

822
00:35:30,762 --> 00:35:32,462
What?

823
00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:34,464
I'm just here to
do my assignments

824
00:35:34,466 --> 00:35:36,366
and get out, that's it.

825
00:35:36,368 --> 00:35:38,768
I mean, yeah, school's
important or whatever,

826
00:35:38,770 --> 00:35:41,705
but when I was throwing
you those passes,

827
00:35:41,707 --> 00:35:43,874
it was like I knew where you were
gonna be before you went there.

828
00:35:45,209 --> 00:35:47,344
You know, I had this,
like, vision of me

829
00:35:47,346 --> 00:35:50,547
throwing bullet
tds to you, dude,

830
00:35:50,549 --> 00:35:52,916
and then all these fans
just started going, like...

831
00:35:54,319 --> 00:35:56,319
"Zook! Mcquaid! Zook! Mcquaid!"

832
00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:58,355
And they were chanting
and chanting,

833
00:35:58,357 --> 00:36:00,290
and then the
goalposts came down.

834
00:36:00,791 --> 00:36:02,893
Dude?

835
00:36:02,895 --> 00:36:05,829
I have had that exact vision,
like, my entire life.

836
00:36:07,098 --> 00:36:09,099
Dude. Dude.

837
00:36:09,101 --> 00:36:10,800
Bro? Bro.

838
00:36:10,802 --> 00:36:12,369
Dude. Bro.

839
00:36:12,371 --> 00:36:13,370
Dude.

840
00:36:14,705 --> 00:36:16,506
Like, well, we fucking can, bro.

841
00:36:16,508 --> 00:36:17,541
All you gotta do
is join the team.

842
00:36:21,412 --> 00:36:22,846
Yeah. Why not?

843
00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:24,281
Yes!

844
00:36:24,283 --> 00:36:26,449
Fuck yeah, dude.
Fuck yeah, dude.

845
00:36:27,318 --> 00:36:28,485
What's that?

846
00:36:28,487 --> 00:36:29,452
My tattoo.

847
00:36:29,454 --> 00:36:31,254
Yeah, fuck, look.

848
00:36:31,256 --> 00:36:34,391
Look, it's me, zook.

849
00:36:34,393 --> 00:36:37,294
Got a fucking bazooka for an arm.
Know what I mean?

850
00:36:41,999 --> 00:36:43,466
Dude, I'm so fucking pumped

851
00:36:43,468 --> 00:36:44,868
you're gonna be on this
fucking team, bro.

852
00:36:45,904 --> 00:36:46,870
Yep.

853
00:36:52,376 --> 00:36:53,677
What's up with it?

854
00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:55,845
How you doing?

855
00:36:55,847 --> 00:36:57,214
Hi. Good.

856
00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,449
How was the, um...

857
00:37:01,386 --> 00:37:02,719
How was the sex for you?

858
00:37:02,721 --> 00:37:04,955
It was fun for me.
It was a good time.

859
00:37:06,190 --> 00:37:07,290
Yeah, right.

860
00:37:07,292 --> 00:37:08,225
I enjoyed it.

861
00:37:08,227 --> 00:37:09,426
Yeah.

862
00:37:10,595 --> 00:37:11,695
This is why I don't drink.

863
00:37:12,463 --> 00:37:13,496
Oh.

864
00:37:13,498 --> 00:37:15,298
Hey. How you doing?

865
00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:17,334
I'm fine.

866
00:37:17,336 --> 00:37:19,803
I mean, I'm not listening to you
guys fornicate all night long.

867
00:37:19,805 --> 00:37:20,904
Thrusting and pumping.

868
00:37:20,906 --> 00:37:22,606
Okay.

869
00:37:22,608 --> 00:37:24,841
I thought your hip
popped out at one point.

870
00:37:24,843 --> 00:37:26,676
I'm just saying, it's,
like, all fun and games,

871
00:37:26,678 --> 00:37:28,878
and then you wake up in bed
next to a 40-year-old freshman.

872
00:37:29,413 --> 00:37:31,414
I'm 19, so...

873
00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:34,050
Nineteen minutes
late to pinochle,

874
00:37:34,052 --> 00:37:35,652
where you're meeting your
old friends in the park?

875
00:37:35,654 --> 00:37:37,420
Yeah, that's what I meant.

876
00:37:37,422 --> 00:37:38,955
Oh, my gosh, Maya, look at him.

877
00:37:38,957 --> 00:37:41,324
He's still so sharp.
That's so inspiring.

878
00:37:41,326 --> 00:37:44,060
Tell us about the
war, any one of them.

879
00:37:44,062 --> 00:37:46,496
You're, like, the loudest
climaxer I've ever heard.

880
00:37:46,498 --> 00:37:49,666
It was, like, the sound of,
like, a 30-year-old sprinkler

881
00:37:49,668 --> 00:37:52,068
finally going off
for the first time.

882
00:37:52,070 --> 00:37:56,439
Okay, well, so lovely
talking with you.

883
00:37:56,441 --> 00:37:57,907
You're a lovely person. Hmm.

884
00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:00,810
Nice to meet you.

885
00:38:00,812 --> 00:38:02,812
Oh, my God.

886
00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:04,514
She seems nice.

887
00:38:04,516 --> 00:38:05,949
She's horrible.

888
00:38:07,118 --> 00:38:08,318
God.

889
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,020
She was Cynthia's roommate,

890
00:38:10,022 --> 00:38:11,454
and I felt bad for her, so I
told her I would room with her.

891
00:38:12,056 --> 00:38:13,023
So...

892
00:38:15,493 --> 00:38:17,394
So you probably have
a bunch of stuff

893
00:38:17,396 --> 00:38:18,361
that you have to do today.

894
00:38:19,130 --> 00:38:20,297
Right? No.

895
00:38:20,299 --> 00:38:22,532
Oh. Okay.

896
00:38:22,534 --> 00:38:23,933
Look, I just want you to know

897
00:38:23,935 --> 00:38:27,470
I'm not, like, a "hit it and
quit it" type of fella.

898
00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:29,105
I'm, like, a "hit it,

899
00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:33,176
"continue to hit it both physically
and emotionally" kind of guy, so...

900
00:38:33,178 --> 00:38:34,711
Hey, Doug, you're not gonna
be weird about this, are you?

901
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:37,447
No.

902
00:38:37,449 --> 00:38:38,815
I mean, you're cool
with just hooking up?

903
00:38:38,817 --> 00:38:41,818
Yeah. I mean, no. I mean, I'm
glad you said something.

904
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:43,253
'Cause I don't even know if
I like you when I'm sober.

905
00:38:43,255 --> 00:38:44,521
No, I know, and it's like,

906
00:38:44,523 --> 00:38:46,256
that doesn't even
hurt, like, at all.

907
00:38:46,258 --> 00:38:48,992
Okay, so, um...

908
00:38:48,994 --> 00:38:51,494
I'm gonna... I'm gonna split.
I'll text you later.

909
00:38:52,630 --> 00:38:55,999
Great, that was great sex.
You're good at it.

910
00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,400
And I'll text you, three to
five minutes or something?

911
00:38:57,402 --> 00:38:58,335
All right.

912
00:38:58,337 --> 00:38:59,736
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

913
00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:19,723
what the fuck is this?

914
00:39:21,092 --> 00:39:23,226
This is bullshit.

915
00:39:23,228 --> 00:39:25,362
Are you two fucking
around at school again?

916
00:39:25,364 --> 00:39:26,830
Hey, we got to pay
for this shit.

917
00:39:26,832 --> 00:39:28,631
We need results! No, no, no.

918
00:39:28,633 --> 00:39:31,234
Look, we are looking
aggressively

919
00:39:31,236 --> 00:39:33,103
for this very specific tattoo.

920
00:39:33,105 --> 00:39:34,704
Or the tattoo could
just be a dead end.

921
00:39:35,573 --> 00:39:37,774
What the fuck? It's
the same case!

922
00:39:38,509 --> 00:39:40,510
Do the same thing.

923
00:39:40,512 --> 00:39:42,979
Well, it's not exactly
the same case, 'cause

924
00:39:44,148 --> 00:39:45,382
one of us got laid last night.

925
00:39:46,016 --> 00:39:47,016
Schmidt?

926
00:39:47,018 --> 00:39:48,284
Shh.

927
00:39:48,286 --> 00:39:50,186
Don't wake up my dick.

928
00:39:50,188 --> 00:39:51,988
Flew in on the red-eye, hasn't
gotten a wink of sleep.

929
00:39:51,990 --> 00:39:53,289
Damn.

930
00:39:53,291 --> 00:39:54,791
We're talking missionary.

931
00:39:54,793 --> 00:39:57,327
We're talking missionary.

932
00:39:57,329 --> 00:40:00,397
We're talking when I'm on
top and she's on her back.

933
00:40:02,133 --> 00:40:04,200
She's smart, she's an art major.

934
00:40:04,202 --> 00:40:06,836
She can't be that smart.
She's a fucking art major.

935
00:40:06,838 --> 00:40:08,304
Come on.

936
00:40:08,306 --> 00:40:09,839
I will give you
some daps, schmidt.

937
00:40:09,841 --> 00:40:10,840
Give me some
motherfucking daps, man!

938
00:40:10,842 --> 00:40:12,075
Come on, give me some.

939
00:40:12,077 --> 00:40:13,910
Give me some. Come on!

940
00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:16,813
My human sexuality
class is blowing my mind.

941
00:40:16,815 --> 00:40:18,581
Did you know I used gay
slurs in high school?

942
00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:20,683
Yes, directed at me.

943
00:40:20,685 --> 00:40:24,020
Dude, I am so sorry for
being a homophone.

944
00:40:24,022 --> 00:40:26,356
Are we gonna talk about how weird
you were today with dickson?

945
00:40:26,358 --> 00:40:29,192
Look, I don't think the tattoo
means what you think it means.

946
00:40:29,194 --> 00:40:31,428
I mean, for all we know, a lot of
people could have that tattoo.

947
00:40:31,430 --> 00:40:34,931
This tattoo? This
absurdly specific tattoo?

948
00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:36,065
Name one other
person who has this.

949
00:40:37,401 --> 00:40:39,602
For starters, zook has it.

950
00:40:39,604 --> 00:40:41,037
Zook has the tattoo?

951
00:40:41,039 --> 00:40:46,242
What the fuck? We've been looking
for this tattoo for days!

952
00:40:46,244 --> 00:40:47,977
Do you understand this
means zook is the dealer?

953
00:40:47,979 --> 00:40:49,646
I really want you
guys to hang out.

954
00:40:49,648 --> 00:40:52,782
We have hung out. He's
completely ignored me.

955
00:40:52,784 --> 00:40:55,585
I'm sorry, but we're gonna have
to investigate your new bff.

956
00:40:55,587 --> 00:40:57,153
We're gonna put
cameras everywhere,

957
00:40:57,155 --> 00:40:58,888
and we're gonna monitor the
fuck out of what he's doing.

958
00:40:58,890 --> 00:41:00,223
We can't just walk
into zeta house

959
00:41:00,225 --> 00:41:02,525
and just put up a bunch
of fucking cameras, okay?

960
00:41:02,527 --> 00:41:04,260
There's dudes there everywhere.

961
00:41:04,262 --> 00:41:06,029
All right, your plan is stupid.
I'm sorry.

962
00:41:06,031 --> 00:41:08,498
My plan is stupid? That's interesting.
What... okay.

963
00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:09,833
I'm, like, basically done

964
00:41:09,835 --> 00:41:11,434
fucking watching your shit
all the fucking time.

965
00:41:11,436 --> 00:41:12,702
Okay, yeah, exactly. I'm the
fucking stupid one. Yeah.

966
00:41:12,704 --> 00:41:14,037
Oh, that's really
fucking stupid.

967
00:41:14,039 --> 00:41:16,206
Man, it must be hard
being so different.

968
00:41:16,208 --> 00:41:19,442
We're exactly the same. It makes
everything so much easier.

969
00:41:19,444 --> 00:41:21,945
Guys, can you just
give us some space?

970
00:41:21,947 --> 00:41:23,046
We're really trying to
figure something out,

971
00:41:23,048 --> 00:41:24,280
and we need to focus, okay?

972
00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:26,316
You're not gonna have
trouble focusing, man.

973
00:41:26,318 --> 00:41:29,452
Yeah, man, those krispie
treats got mad whyphy in them.

974
00:41:29,454 --> 00:41:31,821
We made a batch
for the whole dorm, man.

975
00:41:33,524 --> 00:41:36,659
I've eaten six of these.

976
00:41:36,661 --> 00:41:38,695
- Then you're gonna be real focused.
- Be real focused.

977
00:41:38,697 --> 00:41:40,096
In about four hours,
you're gonna be tripping.

978
00:41:41,799 --> 00:41:43,166
You're fine. You're gonna
be all right, man.

979
00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:44,567
Who sold you whyphy?

980
00:41:44,569 --> 00:41:46,069
Nobody sold it to us.

981
00:41:46,071 --> 00:41:47,937
Yeah, man, Cynthia
gave us a butt load,

982
00:41:47,939 --> 00:41:50,306
and in exchange, we wrote
her logic paper for her.

983
00:41:50,308 --> 00:41:51,508
All right. All right, man,
we'll see you guys later.

984
00:41:51,510 --> 00:41:53,076
Enjoy the food.

985
00:41:53,078 --> 00:41:54,677
Maybe this is a good thing.

986
00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:59,148
let's use that focus to figure out
a way to get into zook's house.

987
00:41:59,150 --> 00:42:01,150
You feel anything? No.
Do you feel anything?

988
00:42:01,152 --> 00:42:02,852
No, but I have a super
high tolerance for...

989
00:42:08,292 --> 00:42:09,759
I'm so focused.

990
00:42:09,761 --> 00:42:10,860
I'm so focused, too.

991
00:42:14,732 --> 00:42:15,431
You don't have to
be on top of me.

992
00:42:15,433 --> 00:42:16,733
Yes, I do.

993
00:42:16,735 --> 00:42:18,167
Why? Camouflage.

994
00:42:18,169 --> 00:42:19,302
Go.

995
00:42:24,409 --> 00:42:25,675
Let's go.

996
00:42:27,278 --> 00:42:28,678
No fucking way.

997
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,014
Okay, so no? Dane? All right.

998
00:42:32,049 --> 00:42:32,882
Out, all right.

999
00:42:39,757 --> 00:42:40,757
Bull's-eye. Bingo.

1000
00:42:44,828 --> 00:42:46,563
That helmet looks kind of lame.

1001
00:42:46,565 --> 00:42:48,431
You know what's not lame?

1002
00:42:48,433 --> 00:42:49,265
Safety.

1003
00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:13,656
What are you doing?

1004
00:43:14,224 --> 00:43:15,658
I'm cutting glass.

1005
00:43:15,660 --> 00:43:17,026
It's a laser pointer.

1006
00:43:17,028 --> 00:43:18,695
It can't cut glass. What?

1007
00:43:22,399 --> 00:43:24,801
That's no fun at all.

1008
00:43:24,803 --> 00:43:26,269
I'm so focused. Let's do this.

1009
00:43:26,271 --> 00:43:27,236
I'm so focused. Let's do this.

1010
00:43:39,550 --> 00:43:40,850
Give me another. I don't
have any more cameras.

1011
00:43:46,957 --> 00:43:48,191
You don't need to drill so many holes.
Yeah, okay.

1012
00:43:55,833 --> 00:43:57,934
Yeah, that one's perfect.
Okay, you can do that one.

1013
00:43:57,936 --> 00:43:58,968
I don't have any more cameras.
I've said it five times.

1014
00:44:02,206 --> 00:44:04,374
All right. Okay. That's
the last of 'em.

1015
00:44:05,677 --> 00:44:06,976
Time to prove that
zook's the dealer.

1016
00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:08,077
Or not the dealer.

1017
00:44:08,079 --> 00:44:10,913
<i> Next up is Brad mcquaid.</i>

1018
00:44:10,915 --> 00:44:12,515
Right? Yes.

1019
00:44:12,517 --> 00:44:13,950
Yes!

1020
00:44:13,952 --> 00:44:15,952
Obviously, right? I
mean, the guy's...

1021
00:44:15,954 --> 00:44:18,087
The guy's all-time. You
guys, let's be honest.

1022
00:44:18,089 --> 00:44:20,590
I mean, like, he was opening up
beer cans with his eyeballs.

1023
00:44:20,592 --> 00:44:21,624
That's so sweet of them.

1024
00:44:21,626 --> 00:44:23,493
<i> So Brad... Brad's in.</i>

1025
00:44:23,495 --> 00:44:24,694
Uh, Doug mcquaid. No!

1026
00:44:25,396 --> 00:44:26,863
He's a bag of dicks!

1027
00:44:29,566 --> 00:44:31,034
He's Brad's brother.

1028
00:44:31,036 --> 00:44:33,069
<i> He follows him
around everywhere,</i>

1029
00:44:33,071 --> 00:44:35,571
<i> so I doubt we get
Brad without Doug.</i>

1030
00:44:35,573 --> 00:44:37,273
That's not true. I have
a serious girlfriend.

1031
00:44:37,275 --> 00:44:39,108
<i> I got a bad feeling about
this guy, dude. Why? Why?</i>

1032
00:44:39,110 --> 00:44:41,010
<i> I was talking to
him for a second.</i>

1033
00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:42,712
<i> He's got a big mouth, okay?</i>

1034
00:44:42,714 --> 00:44:44,881
<i> I feel like he could fuck
this whole thing up for us.</i>

1035
00:44:44,883 --> 00:44:47,350
See, you're fucking this up.
You talk way too much.

1036
00:44:47,352 --> 00:44:49,686
That guy is harmless, dude.
Look at him, he's nice.

1037
00:44:49,688 --> 00:44:51,921
He looks like a
30-year-old eighth grader.

1038
00:44:51,923 --> 00:44:53,122
He's gonna be fine.

1039
00:44:53,124 --> 00:44:55,291
I'm just saying, the kid sucks.

1040
00:44:55,293 --> 00:44:58,261
Okay, and Brad. Brad
could be, like, our guy.

1041
00:44:58,263 --> 00:45:01,064
He could, like, be a
part of our thing.

1042
00:45:01,066 --> 00:45:02,799
"Our thing"? Yeah.

1043
00:45:02,801 --> 00:45:04,500
Shh. I'm trying to hear
them be nice about me.

1044
00:45:04,502 --> 00:45:05,902
This is fucking bullshit. Shit!

1045
00:45:08,305 --> 00:45:09,706
Shit.

1046
00:45:09,708 --> 00:45:11,207
Is somebody up there?

1047
00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:12,642
Shit. We got to get out of here.

1048
00:45:12,644 --> 00:45:13,810
Did you lock the door?

1049
00:45:13,812 --> 00:45:14,944
I did, man. I checked twice.

1050
00:45:32,329 --> 00:45:33,262
Go, go!

1051
00:45:33,897 --> 00:45:35,298
I'm so focused, dude.

1052
00:45:38,535 --> 00:45:39,769
Shit.

1053
00:45:44,042 --> 00:45:47,710
No, you're just paranoid because
we're about to trip balls.

1054
00:45:47,712 --> 00:45:49,078
No, I'm paranoid because
it could be dangerous.

1055
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,012
No, we're fine.
Look, we made it.

1056
00:45:50,014 --> 00:45:50,980
We made it. It's all good.

1057
00:45:52,349 --> 00:45:53,616
Oh, shit!

1058
00:45:56,754 --> 00:45:57,920
Help! Help!

1059
00:45:57,922 --> 00:45:59,055
What's happening!

1060
00:45:59,057 --> 00:46:00,189
What the fuck?

1061
00:46:03,827 --> 00:46:06,429
I can't breathe.

1062
00:46:07,564 --> 00:46:09,499
They made us!

1063
00:46:09,501 --> 00:46:11,167
They're gonna kill us!

1064
00:46:13,270 --> 00:46:14,837
Jenko!

1065
00:46:14,839 --> 00:46:16,372
Where are you going?

1066
00:46:21,178 --> 00:46:24,080
Oh, fuck! I'm having a bad trip!
We're having a bad trip!

1067
00:46:24,082 --> 00:46:26,015
I think we are tripping, but...

1068
00:46:26,017 --> 00:46:27,483
God, isn't this great?

1069
00:46:27,485 --> 00:46:29,385
My side's so much
scarier than yours.

1070
00:46:29,387 --> 00:46:31,554
Oh, shit, your trip sucks.

1071
00:46:31,556 --> 00:46:33,189
You should come over here.
It's way better.

1072
00:46:33,191 --> 00:46:34,290
Okay.

1073
00:46:37,629 --> 00:46:39,462
It's some kind of
weird split screen!

1074
00:46:40,965 --> 00:46:42,398
Hello, football.

1075
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,935
Jenko! Jenko!

1076
00:46:45,937 --> 00:46:47,804
I finally got my lambo!

1077
00:46:48,305 --> 00:46:50,506
Hey, schmidt, look!

1078
00:46:50,508 --> 00:46:51,541
Look! Look!

1079
00:47:02,986 --> 00:47:04,520
My legs are tired.

1080
00:47:08,258 --> 00:47:09,992
Help! No more music!

1081
00:47:10,894 --> 00:47:12,228
You'll always be alone.

1082
00:47:13,698 --> 00:47:14,797
Hey, jenko. What?

1083
00:47:14,799 --> 00:47:16,365
Where are you going?

1084
00:47:16,367 --> 00:47:17,466
I'm just gonna go up for
a little while, okay?

1085
00:47:17,468 --> 00:47:18,768
Stay, stay here.

1086
00:47:18,770 --> 00:47:20,570
No, I don't want to stay here.
I'm flying. This is amazing.

1087
00:47:20,572 --> 00:47:22,305
No. God. Don't go!

1088
00:47:22,307 --> 00:47:23,372
Oh, my God.

1089
00:47:23,374 --> 00:47:24,640
No!

1090
00:47:24,642 --> 00:47:26,609
Stay here! No, no, stop it.

1091
00:47:26,611 --> 00:47:29,245
You're dragging me down! Why
would you drag me down?

1092
00:47:29,247 --> 00:47:30,179
Please stay! I'm flying.

1093
00:47:31,281 --> 00:47:32,648
Stay!

1094
00:47:35,786 --> 00:47:37,687
Wake up! Get out of the car!
Shit.

1095
00:47:37,689 --> 00:47:39,555
Get out of the car!
Get on the ground!

1096
00:47:39,557 --> 00:47:40,756
On your fucking knees!

1097
00:47:40,758 --> 00:47:42,291
Get on your knees!

1098
00:47:42,293 --> 00:47:44,327
You already know, don't you?
What?

1099
00:47:44,329 --> 00:47:45,161
Do you have anything to say?

1100
00:47:45,163 --> 00:47:46,796
Please don't kill us.

1101
00:47:46,798 --> 00:47:48,831
If you don't have
anything to fucking say,

1102
00:47:48,833 --> 00:47:50,933
open your fucking mouth.

1103
00:47:56,506 --> 00:47:57,740
What the fuck?

1104
00:47:57,742 --> 00:47:59,175
Is that vodka?

1105
00:47:59,177 --> 00:48:01,811
Welcome to zeta, pledges!

1106
00:48:01,813 --> 00:48:03,346
Yeah, buddy!

1107
00:48:05,415 --> 00:48:11,087
Pledges, tonight, we separate
the weak from the strong.

1108
00:48:12,856 --> 00:48:15,658
If you don't make
it through tonight,

1109
00:48:15,660 --> 00:48:17,393
you're dead to all of us.

1110
00:48:18,195 --> 00:48:19,228
Rooster,

1111
00:48:19,796 --> 00:48:21,297
light the torch!

1112
00:48:22,466 --> 00:48:23,633
For zeta!

1113
00:48:29,006 --> 00:48:31,607
Drink, motherfucker!
Drink, motherfucker!

1114
00:48:31,609 --> 00:48:33,643
Drink, motherfucker!
Drink, motherfucker!

1115
00:48:39,783 --> 00:48:41,817
Look, whatever happens tonight,
you have to keep up, okay?

1116
00:48:41,819 --> 00:48:43,219
I'm gonna throw up.

1117
00:48:43,221 --> 00:48:44,487
I know. Shut up. Go.

1118
00:48:45,389 --> 00:48:46,923
Ready? Go!

1119
00:48:46,925 --> 00:48:49,125
Here we go, here we go.

1120
00:48:49,127 --> 00:48:51,427
One, two, three, four, five...

1121
00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:53,829
I can't do it anymore!
I can't do it anymore!

1122
00:48:53,831 --> 00:48:55,031
Twenty's the record!

1123
00:48:55,033 --> 00:48:57,099
Thirty-three, 34...

1124
00:48:57,668 --> 00:48:58,868
...67...

1125
00:49:36,073 --> 00:49:37,206
You can do this,
you can do this.

1126
00:49:37,208 --> 00:49:38,307
I can't. This is disgusting.

1127
00:49:38,309 --> 00:49:39,475
No, you got to. I can't
do this anymore!

1128
00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:41,544
And now, for my favorite event.

1129
00:49:43,013 --> 00:49:44,046
Fuck this. I'm not doing this.

1130
00:49:44,048 --> 00:49:45,181
I'm not doing it.
What are... no!

1131
00:49:45,183 --> 00:49:47,216
I'm not doing this, okay?
All right?

1132
00:49:51,989 --> 00:49:53,289
Hey!

1133
00:49:53,291 --> 00:49:55,091
Schmidt! What the fuck, man?

1134
00:49:55,093 --> 00:49:57,493
What is your problem? You said
you wanted to stick together.

1135
00:49:57,495 --> 00:50:00,262
This is what we have to
do to win their trust.

1136
00:50:00,264 --> 00:50:02,765
This is supposed to be fun. It's
just drinking and bonding games.

1137
00:50:02,767 --> 00:50:04,367
It's fun.

1138
00:50:04,369 --> 00:50:05,534
It's fun for you.
It's not fun for me.

1139
00:50:07,137 --> 00:50:09,338
I don't know. Maybe
we should just...

1140
00:50:11,141 --> 00:50:14,010
Maybe we should just
investigate different people.

1141
00:50:15,779 --> 00:50:18,447
Did you really just say that?

1142
00:50:18,449 --> 00:50:20,383
Did you really just say that you
want to investigate other people?

1143
00:50:20,385 --> 00:50:21,751
That's what you want?

1144
00:50:21,753 --> 00:50:23,652
I don't know, maybe.

1145
00:50:23,654 --> 00:50:26,355
Maybe we should just... We
should just branch out.

1146
00:50:26,357 --> 00:50:28,224
Okay, just sow our
oats a little.

1147
00:50:28,859 --> 00:50:30,393
Sow our cop oats.

1148
00:50:30,395 --> 00:50:32,061
Look, I have an in with zook.

1149
00:50:32,063 --> 00:50:33,996
We have a thing and
it's good, and...

1150
00:50:33,998 --> 00:50:36,399
I don't know, maybe I should
just stay closer to him.

1151
00:50:36,401 --> 00:50:38,300
And you should do your thing

1152
00:50:38,302 --> 00:50:40,603
with your connections
and channels

1153
00:50:41,405 --> 00:50:42,938
with Cynthia's roommate.

1154
00:50:42,940 --> 00:50:45,074
You should see if she
knows who sold her drugs.

1155
00:50:45,776 --> 00:50:47,510
I just... I just don't...

1156
00:50:49,079 --> 00:50:52,448
I don't like the idea of
us doing stuff separately.

1157
00:50:52,450 --> 00:50:54,517
No, look, we can
still investigate

1158
00:50:55,118 --> 00:50:57,219
together.

1159
00:50:57,221 --> 00:51:00,656
It's just, you know, now
it'll be an open thing.

1160
00:51:02,159 --> 00:51:03,893
You want an open investigation?

1161
00:51:03,895 --> 00:51:06,328
I don't know if
that's what I want.

1162
00:51:06,330 --> 00:51:09,498
All right? I just think it's healthy
right now for us to try it.

1163
00:51:12,169 --> 00:51:13,269
Okay.

1164
00:51:14,104 --> 00:51:17,039
Yeah? Sure.

1165
00:51:17,041 --> 00:51:18,808
Okay, so I guess I'll just
catch you later, then.

1166
00:51:23,447 --> 00:51:25,481
You okay?

1167
00:51:25,483 --> 00:51:27,450
No, you can't hug me right now.

1168
00:51:27,452 --> 00:51:29,051
Do you need money for
a cab or anything?

1169
00:51:29,053 --> 00:51:31,587
No, I don't need
money for a cab.

1170
00:51:32,589 --> 00:51:33,589
Okay.

1171
00:51:42,699 --> 00:51:45,201
I don't know where the
fuck I am right now.

1172
00:51:50,140 --> 00:51:51,507
Hey, Lauren.

1173
00:51:52,843 --> 00:51:56,846
I just want to get in bed
and watch <i> friends</i> all day.

1174
00:51:56,848 --> 00:52:00,850
<i> Let's hear it for your
metropolitan city state statesmen!</i>

1175
00:52:02,353 --> 00:52:04,253
<i> And the statesmen
take the field</i>

1176
00:52:04,255 --> 00:52:07,323
<i> for the opening game against the
university of college generals.</i>

1177
00:52:07,824 --> 00:52:09,058
Ready?

1178
00:52:09,060 --> 00:52:10,493
<i> And a surprise start today</i>

1179
00:52:10,495 --> 00:52:12,761
<i> for walk-on freshman
Brad mcquaid.</i>

1180
00:52:12,763 --> 00:52:14,163
<i> Looks pretty old
to be a freshman.</i>

1181
00:52:14,165 --> 00:52:15,064
<i> It's the hormones
in the milk, Bob.</i>

1182
00:52:15,066 --> 00:52:16,565
Ready? Set, hut!

1183
00:52:18,235 --> 00:52:19,635
<i> Haythe drops back.</i>

1184
00:52:21,238 --> 00:52:22,204
<i> And connects with mcquaid!</i>

1185
00:52:24,509 --> 00:52:27,877
<i> Who beats safety will glock like an egg
white in my famous meringue recipe.</i>

1186
00:52:30,847 --> 00:52:32,414
Holy shit, he's good.

1187
00:52:32,416 --> 00:52:35,651
None of you tell mcquaid
that he's good, all right?

1188
00:52:35,653 --> 00:52:38,821
If you do, he'll leave
this shitty program.

1189
00:52:38,823 --> 00:52:41,724
<i> And as the clock ticks down,
we've got time for one last play.</i>

1190
00:52:45,562 --> 00:52:49,098
<i> Another perfect hookup
between haythe and mcquaid.</i>

1191
00:52:49,100 --> 00:52:51,367
<i> Even their end zone
celebration is in perfect sync.</i>

1192
00:52:51,369 --> 00:52:53,769
<i> It's like these two share
a single brain, Bob.</i>

1193
00:52:53,771 --> 00:52:56,305
<i> That's right, Jim. They
both have one half a brain.</i>

1194
00:52:56,307 --> 00:52:57,706
<i> And the crowd rushes the field</i>

1195
00:52:57,708 --> 00:52:59,375
<i> to try and knock
down a goalpost.</i>

1196
00:52:59,377 --> 00:53:00,509
It's not coming down!

1197
00:53:03,114 --> 00:53:04,446
<i> Good luck, guys.</i>

1198
00:53:04,448 --> 00:53:06,715
<i> Looks like mc state's
got a new power couple.</i>

1199
00:53:06,717 --> 00:53:08,184
<i> Zook and mcquaid!</i>

1200
00:53:11,021 --> 00:53:12,454
I got to get around you, man.

1201
00:53:12,456 --> 00:53:14,857
I can't jump up. I
got a broken ankle.

1202
00:53:19,930 --> 00:53:20,863
<i> Yeah!</i>

1203
00:53:22,098 --> 00:53:24,466
<i> Fuck yes!</i>

1204
00:53:24,468 --> 00:53:25,968
<i> Yeah! One more!</i>

1205
00:53:28,104 --> 00:53:28,804
Shit.

1206
00:53:31,508 --> 00:53:32,641
Who is that?

1207
00:53:32,643 --> 00:53:33,576
Nothing. All right, ready?

1208
00:53:34,978 --> 00:53:36,245
<i> Come on!</i>

1209
00:53:36,247 --> 00:53:37,479
<i> Focus!</i>

1210
00:53:47,090 --> 00:53:48,724
<i> Come on! Do it!</i>

1211
00:53:48,726 --> 00:53:50,226
<i> Fuck you, Arnold
Schwarzenegger!</i>

1212
00:53:50,228 --> 00:53:51,794
<i> I'm so jammed! Fuck you!</i>

1213
00:53:51,796 --> 00:53:53,729
There's a
sock on the door! Don't come in!

1214
00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:55,164
<i> Fuck, yeah!</i>

1215
00:53:55,166 --> 00:53:56,665
I'm having sex with
a human woman.

1216
00:53:56,667 --> 00:53:58,267
<i> My God! Fuck!</i>

1217
00:54:03,373 --> 00:54:04,807
Hey! Look at you!

1218
00:54:04,809 --> 00:54:05,975
What are you guys doing here?

1219
00:54:05,977 --> 00:54:07,977
What? Are you kidding?
It's parents weekend.

1220
00:54:07,979 --> 00:54:09,545
Fuck.

1221
00:54:09,547 --> 00:54:12,014
Wonderful. You're
dating someone.

1222
00:54:12,016 --> 00:54:15,050
Thanks, mom. Listen,
we're undercover, okay?

1223
00:54:15,052 --> 00:54:15,718
Thank you. No problem.

1224
00:54:16,987 --> 00:54:17,886
Doug!

1225
00:54:18,255 --> 00:54:19,755
Maya!

1226
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:20,656
Hey. Hi.

1227
00:54:21,391 --> 00:54:22,625
These are my parents.

1228
00:54:22,627 --> 00:54:24,593
So this is the girl?

1229
00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:26,729
Hi. I'm Annie. I'm your new
mother-in-law.

1230
00:54:28,498 --> 00:54:30,099
Nice to meet you.
Worst thing to say.

1231
00:54:30,101 --> 00:54:31,400
Hi. Hey. David.

1232
00:54:31,402 --> 00:54:32,334
My dad. Nice to meet you.

1233
00:54:33,103 --> 00:54:34,536
Well, my parents are here, too.

1234
00:54:34,538 --> 00:54:36,739
Maya, hurry up!

1235
00:54:36,741 --> 00:54:39,008
Your mama done found
a table she want.

1236
00:54:45,982 --> 00:54:47,750
How do you know this person?

1237
00:54:47,752 --> 00:54:50,352
Dad, this is Doug, a
guy that I'm dating.

1238
00:54:50,354 --> 00:54:52,588
The fuck? I...

1239
00:54:52,590 --> 00:54:54,723
How's your classes going, Doug?

1240
00:54:54,725 --> 00:54:57,459
You... we were just in
the neighborhood, and...

1241
00:54:57,461 --> 00:54:58,560
I have an idea. Why don't
we all sit together?

1242
00:54:58,562 --> 00:54:59,895
Would that be fun?

1243
00:54:59,897 --> 00:55:01,063
Yes, thank you.

1244
00:55:15,879 --> 00:55:17,279
So...

1245
00:55:17,281 --> 00:55:18,847
Do you like weather?

1246
00:55:20,417 --> 00:55:22,217
You two know each other?

1247
00:55:22,219 --> 00:55:23,686
No.

1248
00:55:23,688 --> 00:55:25,521
This is crazy, all these, uh,

1249
00:55:26,790 --> 00:55:28,791
students and parents.

1250
00:55:30,093 --> 00:55:31,026
Potential witnesses.

1251
00:55:32,395 --> 00:55:33,595
How did you two meet?

1252
00:55:33,597 --> 00:55:35,698
Oh, I love meet-cute stories.

1253
00:55:35,700 --> 00:55:37,666
We met at a poetry slam,

1254
00:55:37,668 --> 00:55:39,868
and then he stalked me
back to my dorm room.

1255
00:55:39,870 --> 00:55:42,004
Stalked her? Oh,
that's so beautiful.

1256
00:55:42,006 --> 00:55:43,305
Then what happened?

1257
00:55:43,307 --> 00:55:45,407
And then we hung out and
we watched a movie.

1258
00:55:46,376 --> 00:55:49,011
Actually, we watched
it a couple times.

1259
00:55:50,547 --> 00:55:52,548
This is bullshit!

1260
00:55:52,550 --> 00:55:54,283
This fucking... waiter!

1261
00:55:54,285 --> 00:55:56,885
What can a black man do to
get some water around here?

1262
00:55:56,887 --> 00:55:58,487
Give the fucking guy some water!

1263
00:55:58,489 --> 00:56:00,489
He's black! He's
been through a lot!

1264
00:56:00,491 --> 00:56:03,459
For the sake of your daughter,
please keep it together.

1265
00:56:03,461 --> 00:56:04,993
I'm gonna need a motherfucking
crepe before I go crazy.

1266
00:56:06,196 --> 00:56:08,530
I'll be right back.

1267
00:56:08,532 --> 00:56:11,633
So, where are you
from originally?

1268
00:56:11,635 --> 00:56:12,768
I'm straight outta Compton,

1269
00:56:14,371 --> 00:56:16,338
but my husband's
from northridge.

1270
00:56:16,340 --> 00:56:18,073
Come on, man, hook me up.

1271
00:56:20,310 --> 00:56:22,378
What the fuck y'all doing?
Y'all rationing around here?

1272
00:56:22,380 --> 00:56:24,213
Come on, hook me up. Two
little fucking string beans?

1273
00:56:24,215 --> 00:56:26,582
Give me the goddamn
string beans.

1274
00:56:26,584 --> 00:56:28,450
I want some fucking
deviled eggs.

1275
00:56:28,452 --> 00:56:29,818
I like fruit. Don't
you like fruit?

1276
00:56:30,353 --> 00:56:31,820
I like fruit.

1277
00:56:31,822 --> 00:56:33,989
But this pork shit? Got to go!

1278
00:56:33,991 --> 00:56:35,424
He's really taking it
out on the omelet bar.

1279
00:56:35,426 --> 00:56:36,859
Shit was nasty!

1280
00:56:36,861 --> 00:56:38,594
He's under a lot of
pressure at work.

1281
00:56:38,596 --> 00:56:40,429
What's up, playa? Want
to go to the movies?

1282
00:56:40,431 --> 00:56:43,332
I'll break your motherfucking legs!
Break your legs!

1283
00:56:44,702 --> 00:56:46,335
What?

1284
00:56:46,337 --> 00:56:48,670
How you doing, Mr. nice plant?
Get your fucking ass in there.

1285
00:56:56,646 --> 00:56:58,080
Hey, you want another beer?
I'm gonna get another beer.

1286
00:56:58,082 --> 00:56:59,882
Yeah, yeah, I'll do another.

1287
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:18,133
Hey, look, man,

1288
00:57:18,135 --> 00:57:19,668
you know you can always
tell me something

1289
00:57:19,670 --> 00:57:21,036
if you want to get
it off your chest.

1290
00:57:21,038 --> 00:57:21,837
You know I'm always
here for you, right?

1291
00:57:24,374 --> 00:57:25,374
What are you trying to say?

1292
00:57:25,376 --> 00:57:26,475
No, nothing.

1293
00:57:29,779 --> 00:57:32,347
All right, with
everything that happened

1294
00:57:32,349 --> 00:57:33,649
with Cynthia and whyphy,

1295
00:57:35,518 --> 00:57:36,485
I just don't want
you to screw up.

1296
00:57:37,654 --> 00:57:40,322
You don't think I
know what I'm doing?

1297
00:57:40,324 --> 00:57:42,057
What? I know exactly
what I'm doing here.

1298
00:57:44,794 --> 00:57:46,328
I'm gonna tell you
something, all right?

1299
00:57:46,330 --> 00:57:47,796
Can I trust you?
Yeah, of course.

1300
00:57:53,203 --> 00:57:56,638
I have a friend who
knows a guy at umc.

1301
00:57:57,407 --> 00:57:59,374
He's a scout. It's d-I.

1302
00:57:59,376 --> 00:58:01,043
Their qb, he's not playing well.

1303
00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:02,044
They're not happy
with the situation.

1304
00:58:02,046 --> 00:58:03,412
They want me to make a tape.

1305
00:58:03,414 --> 00:58:05,747
And I want you to
be on it with me.

1306
00:58:09,619 --> 00:58:11,687
Nothing else?

1307
00:58:11,689 --> 00:58:13,555
They had five guys in
the draft last year.

1308
00:58:13,557 --> 00:58:14,823
I mean, Brad, this
could be our shot.

1309
00:58:14,825 --> 00:58:16,859
We're like the dynamic duo, bro.

1310
00:58:16,861 --> 00:58:19,294
We're like Batman and Robin.

1311
00:58:19,296 --> 00:58:21,196
But we're both Batman.

1312
00:58:21,198 --> 00:58:23,365
What do you want to be,
like, a stockbroker?

1313
00:58:23,367 --> 00:58:24,900
Or a cop?

1314
00:58:24,902 --> 00:58:26,768
Dude, your ceiling is, like,

1315
00:58:27,704 --> 00:58:29,171
so high.

1316
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:34,009
You can just bust right...

1317
00:58:34,011 --> 00:58:36,144
Just break right through it.
Right through it.

1318
00:58:36,146 --> 00:58:38,914
Right through it.
Right through it.

1319
00:58:38,916 --> 00:58:40,883
You really think I
could make it at umc?

1320
00:58:40,885 --> 00:58:44,219
Dude, you could make it
into the hall of fame.

1321
00:58:44,221 --> 00:58:46,121
No, dude, come on, that's you.

1322
00:58:46,123 --> 00:58:48,590
You're gonna be in, like, the
anals of football history.

1323
00:58:48,592 --> 00:58:51,159
Dude, you could make it into the
anals of football history, too.

1324
00:58:52,195 --> 00:58:55,697
We're gonna have to
tear those anals up.

1325
00:58:55,699 --> 00:58:57,266
All right. We're gonna
fucking tear it up.

1326
00:58:57,268 --> 00:58:58,100
I mean, it's just a tape, right?

1327
00:58:59,435 --> 00:59:00,769
I fucking hate my dad so much.

1328
00:59:00,771 --> 00:59:02,170
Do you have any idea

1329
00:59:02,172 --> 00:59:03,405
what it's like to
have a guy like that

1330
00:59:03,407 --> 00:59:05,140
telling you what to do all the time?

1331
00:59:05,142 --> 00:59:06,575
I can only imagine.

1332
00:59:06,577 --> 00:59:09,978
I just don't understand what his
problem is with you specifically.

1333
00:59:09,980 --> 00:59:12,814
I don't... Jesus.
That makes no sense to me.

1334
00:59:12,816 --> 00:59:13,916
I mean, you are a
perfectly good guy.

1335
00:59:13,918 --> 00:59:15,017
You're very honest and nice.

1336
00:59:15,019 --> 00:59:17,619
Why does my dad have
your phone number?

1337
00:59:17,621 --> 00:59:20,188
I don't know. Maybe the school
directory or something.

1338
00:59:20,190 --> 00:59:21,557
Let's do something...

1339
00:59:21,559 --> 00:59:22,424
Let's do something that
would distract us.

1340
00:59:22,426 --> 00:59:24,059
Okay.

1341
00:59:24,061 --> 00:59:26,128
So we don't have to think
about him anymore.

1342
00:59:26,130 --> 00:59:27,729
Mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm.

1343
00:59:27,731 --> 00:59:28,797
All right. Um...

1344
00:59:29,465 --> 00:59:30,599
Maya.

1345
00:59:32,669 --> 00:59:34,002
Is it okay if we just talk?

1346
00:59:36,205 --> 00:59:37,105
Okay.

1347
00:59:37,473 --> 00:59:39,508
Let's talk.

1348
00:59:39,510 --> 00:59:41,276
No way. Yeah.

1349
00:59:41,278 --> 00:59:43,278
I was Peter Pan, but
then I was, like, late.

1350
00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:44,346
You're really close with
your brother, then.

1351
00:59:45,515 --> 00:59:47,049
It seems like. Yeah.

1352
00:59:47,850 --> 00:59:49,284
Yeah, you know...

1353
00:59:53,122 --> 00:59:54,823
You're a fucking genius, dude.

1354
00:59:54,825 --> 00:59:55,924
Are you sure it's not
too much, though? No!

1355
00:59:57,594 --> 00:59:59,595
<i> Yeah! Fuck, yeah!</i>

1356
00:59:59,597 --> 01:00:01,897
All right? All right?
Yeah. Yeah.

1357
01:00:01,899 --> 01:00:03,332
All night, bro. Come on. All night.
Yeah, I know.

1358
01:00:03,334 --> 01:00:04,800
It's gonna be so worth it, dude.

1359
01:00:04,802 --> 01:00:06,268
It's gonna be fucking worth
it, I promise, all right?

1360
01:00:06,270 --> 01:00:07,736
Dude, you know what this needs?

1361
01:00:07,738 --> 01:00:09,504
Another star wipe.

1362
01:00:09,506 --> 01:00:11,540
Jinx. Buy me a beer.

1363
01:00:11,542 --> 01:00:12,641
Nice twist.

1364
01:00:12,643 --> 01:00:13,742
On what?

1365
01:00:15,511 --> 01:00:17,312
I can't believe we've
been talking all night.

1366
01:00:17,314 --> 01:00:21,316
Oh, my God, it's 8:00. I
have class, actually.

1367
01:00:21,318 --> 01:00:23,418
Okay. I...

1368
01:00:23,420 --> 01:00:26,288
Yeah, you can help yourself
to whatever you need, and...

1369
01:00:26,290 --> 01:00:27,623
All right.

1370
01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:29,524
Yeah, I'm so sorry, this...

1371
01:00:29,526 --> 01:00:30,993
I'll see you.

1372
01:00:30,995 --> 01:00:32,027
I'll see you later.

1373
01:00:32,029 --> 01:00:33,762
Okay. Best night ever.

1374
01:00:33,764 --> 01:00:35,197
Okay. Bye.

1375
01:00:37,333 --> 01:00:38,367
Bye.

1376
01:00:42,839 --> 01:00:44,806
How long have you been there?

1377
01:00:44,808 --> 01:00:47,275
Like, the longest amount of time
you could think of right now.

1378
01:00:47,277 --> 01:00:48,677
This stuff wasn't meant for you.

1379
01:00:48,679 --> 01:00:50,245
It was meant to be private.

1380
01:00:50,247 --> 01:00:52,781
So, am I supposed to just
sit here and not act like

1381
01:00:52,783 --> 01:00:55,017
I hear every one
of your problems?

1382
01:00:55,019 --> 01:00:58,387
You got 99 problems, but
being young isn't one.

1383
01:00:58,389 --> 01:01:01,757
You're just jealous because Maya
and I have a real connection.

1384
01:01:01,759 --> 01:01:03,258
I'm pretty close with
my grandpa, too.

1385
01:01:04,961 --> 01:01:06,461
You're more messed
up than Cynthia was,

1386
01:01:06,463 --> 01:01:08,697
and she went to the school
shrink three times a week.

1387
01:01:08,699 --> 01:01:10,866
Why? I don't know.

1388
01:01:10,868 --> 01:01:12,701
But he gave her a ton
of pills and shit.

1389
01:01:12,703 --> 01:01:15,103
Maybe he could give you something
for your weird old face.

1390
01:01:15,105 --> 01:01:15,937
Okay.

1391
01:01:19,909 --> 01:01:22,444
Hey. You're late.

1392
01:01:22,446 --> 01:01:25,247
No, actually, I was busy
with the investigation.

1393
01:01:26,983 --> 01:01:30,185
This is Cynthia's therapist's office.
This is our investigation.

1394
01:01:31,721 --> 01:01:32,454
All right.

1395
01:01:40,263 --> 01:01:42,064
Watch the door.

1396
01:01:42,066 --> 01:01:45,300
Oh, is that all I'm good for?
Just watching a fucking door?

1397
01:01:47,637 --> 01:01:48,837
Got it.

1398
01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:52,908
"Patient exhibits
drug-induced paranoia.

1399
01:01:52,910 --> 01:01:55,343
"Believes her life
is in danger."

1400
01:01:55,345 --> 01:01:56,178
Uh, door, door.

1401
01:01:58,414 --> 01:02:00,415
Hey.

1402
01:02:00,417 --> 01:02:02,851
I wasn't told that I had a 9:00 A.M.
session.

1403
01:02:02,853 --> 01:02:04,720
Yeah, no, we're your 9:00 A.M.
that's us.

1404
01:02:04,722 --> 01:02:07,322
And we're cured.

1405
01:02:07,324 --> 01:02:09,958
Thank you very much.
You're an amazing doctor.

1406
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:11,727
Please. You think you're
the first partners

1407
01:02:11,729 --> 01:02:16,565
only to try to run when you're
first faced with talking with me?

1408
01:02:16,567 --> 01:02:17,999
How the fuck did you
know we were partners?

1409
01:02:18,001 --> 01:02:19,768
He doesn't know we're partners.

1410
01:02:19,770 --> 01:02:21,503
I suspect
you're partners.

1411
01:02:21,505 --> 01:02:24,172
A relationship is something
that requires constant work.

1412
01:02:24,174 --> 01:02:25,674
Which is what I thought we
learned in high school.

1413
01:02:25,676 --> 01:02:27,642
So you are high
school sweethearts.

1414
01:02:27,644 --> 01:02:28,844
I picked up on that early.

1415
01:02:28,846 --> 01:02:30,045
Please, continue the dialogue.

1416
01:02:30,513 --> 01:02:31,480
Doc.

1417
01:02:32,982 --> 01:02:34,516
I just feel like sometimes

1418
01:02:34,518 --> 01:02:36,017
he's not even trying anymore.

1419
01:02:36,019 --> 01:02:38,386
Like this isn't
even worth saving.

1420
01:02:38,388 --> 01:02:39,721
Oh, okay. Well,
sometimes I feel like

1421
01:02:39,723 --> 01:02:41,356
that we should be
more like the yangs.

1422
01:02:41,358 --> 01:02:43,058
Or maybe I should be more
like your beautiful zook.

1423
01:02:43,060 --> 01:02:44,626
Oh, go fuck yourself!
You go fuck yourself.

1424
01:02:44,628 --> 01:02:46,628
Okay. You're so selfish.

1425
01:02:46,630 --> 01:02:48,497
All right. That's a lot of fucking.
Oh, my God.

1426
01:02:48,499 --> 01:02:52,200
sometimes I like to have the
participants make physical contact.

1427
01:02:52,202 --> 01:02:53,602
Why don't you hold hands?

1428
01:02:53,604 --> 01:02:55,003
Okay. I'm not doing that.

1429
01:02:55,005 --> 01:02:56,872
Hmm? Do you see?

1430
01:02:56,874 --> 01:02:58,039
Reach out your hand.

1431
01:02:58,041 --> 01:02:59,541
I'm...

1432
01:02:59,543 --> 01:03:01,343
He's literally
reaching out for you.

1433
01:03:01,345 --> 01:03:02,444
He won't hold my hand.

1434
01:03:02,446 --> 01:03:03,612
I'm not doing it.

1435
01:03:03,614 --> 01:03:05,013
I kind of need you to do it.

1436
01:03:05,015 --> 01:03:06,848
He won't hold my hand.
Oh, you...

1437
01:03:06,850 --> 01:03:08,316
You got to interlock it, though.

1438
01:03:08,318 --> 01:03:09,684
If you don't interlock it,
it's not hand-holding.

1439
01:03:09,686 --> 01:03:11,253
Fine.

1440
01:03:11,255 --> 01:03:12,420
We might as well just be friends

1441
01:03:12,422 --> 01:03:13,455
and not partners.

1442
01:03:13,457 --> 01:03:14,322
Nice, right?

1443
01:03:15,291 --> 01:03:17,392
Okay, you see this?
This is strong.

1444
01:03:17,394 --> 01:03:19,628
What I want to be
able to have is this.

1445
01:03:19,630 --> 01:03:22,297
Is this...

1446
01:03:22,299 --> 01:03:26,101
I want to be able to have that,
that same thing, in, like

1447
01:03:26,103 --> 01:03:28,270
without actually
having to do it.

1448
01:03:28,272 --> 01:03:29,471
Are you embarrassed
of your partner?

1449
01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:30,906
No, not at all. Okay?

1450
01:03:30,908 --> 01:03:32,674
And why the fuck are you
guys ganging up on me?

1451
01:03:32,676 --> 01:03:33,875
Gang up on him. Okay, seriously.

1452
01:03:33,877 --> 01:03:35,644
Okay, okay. He's clingy.

1453
01:03:35,646 --> 01:03:37,913
He literally is terrified
of being by himself.

1454
01:03:37,915 --> 01:03:39,514
Look, I know zook's your buddy

1455
01:03:39,516 --> 01:03:40,415
and you don't want
him to be guilty,

1456
01:03:40,417 --> 01:03:41,883
but he's our guy.

1457
01:03:41,885 --> 01:03:43,819
No, he's actually not our guy.
I would know.

1458
01:03:43,821 --> 01:03:46,354
Now, you know, we
sometimes cling to things

1459
01:03:46,356 --> 01:03:48,456
because they're familiar
and comfortable.

1460
01:03:48,458 --> 01:03:50,192
I teach about a principle
called embedding.

1461
01:03:50,194 --> 01:03:51,726
Look at the facts.
Matter of fact, I...

1462
01:03:51,728 --> 01:03:54,296
Zook has the tattoo.
He knew Cynthia.

1463
01:03:54,298 --> 01:03:55,597
I know the first
time he met you,

1464
01:03:55,599 --> 01:03:56,898
you dropped a fucking
sandwich on his foot

1465
01:03:56,900 --> 01:03:58,300
and he smiled at you,

1466
01:03:58,302 --> 01:04:01,369
but you are completely
blind to the fact...

1467
01:04:01,371 --> 01:04:03,305
What'd you say embedding was?
Embedding?

1468
01:04:03,307 --> 01:04:06,775
Oh, embedding is our
tendency to latch on to

1469
01:04:06,777 --> 01:04:09,277
the first bit of information
that we're offered

1470
01:04:09,279 --> 01:04:11,913
and overlooking, or even ignoring,
contradictory information.

1471
01:04:11,915 --> 01:04:12,814
It's a fascinating principle...

1472
01:04:12,816 --> 01:04:14,583
Shut up. I'm thinking.

1473
01:04:15,651 --> 01:04:17,953
You think it's possible that

1474
01:04:17,955 --> 01:04:19,788
we embedded?

1475
01:04:19,790 --> 01:04:21,423
What, like when we were
drunk or something?

1476
01:04:21,425 --> 01:04:23,325
We embedded each other? Okay.
I'm gonna recommend...

1477
01:04:23,327 --> 01:04:24,092
Okay, you can leave the room.

1478
01:04:24,094 --> 01:04:25,160
Just get the fuck out.

1479
01:04:26,095 --> 01:04:27,462
Get the fuck out. You heard him.

1480
01:04:27,464 --> 01:04:28,763
This took a turn.

1481
01:04:28,765 --> 01:04:30,265
One, two...

1482
01:04:30,267 --> 01:04:32,033
Okay. Yep. Good session.

1483
01:04:32,035 --> 01:04:33,301
The first time we saw the photo

1484
01:04:33,303 --> 01:04:34,669
of Cynthia buying whyphy,

1485
01:04:34,671 --> 01:04:37,339
<i> dickson said, "this
guy's the dealer."</i>

1486
01:04:37,341 --> 01:04:39,407
Everything we've done and thought
has been based on that fact,

1487
01:04:39,409 --> 01:04:41,109
but what if dickson was wrong?

1488
01:04:41,111 --> 01:04:43,545
And we've ignored all
the other clues.

1489
01:04:43,547 --> 01:04:44,880
<i> What if Cynthia
wasn't the buyer?</i>

1490
01:04:45,781 --> 01:04:47,849
<i> What if Cynthia was the dealer?</i>

1491
01:04:47,851 --> 01:04:51,286
Captain, we have something really,
really important to tell you about.

1492
01:04:55,558 --> 01:04:57,058
Captain?

1493
01:04:57,060 --> 01:04:58,793
Are you wearing kevlar?

1494
01:04:58,795 --> 01:05:03,331
Now, gentlemen, we're not
gonna sit here and pretend

1495
01:05:03,333 --> 01:05:05,834
there's not a big-ass
elephant in the room.

1496
01:05:05,836 --> 01:05:06,635
What the fuck is going on?

1497
01:05:08,004 --> 01:05:09,938
This is what the
fuck is going on.

1498
01:05:16,112 --> 01:05:18,947
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!

1499
01:05:22,184 --> 01:05:24,185
Oh, shit! No!

1500
01:05:24,187 --> 01:05:27,756
That is not happening right now!
No!

1501
01:05:27,758 --> 01:05:31,159
Hey, y'all, he's fucking the
captain's daughter! Yo!

1502
01:05:31,161 --> 01:05:32,661
Every time he say that shit...

1503
01:05:32,663 --> 01:05:34,229
Oh, my fuck!

1504
01:05:34,231 --> 01:05:36,231
...that's another
foot in your ass.

1505
01:05:36,233 --> 01:05:39,467
Schmidt, you clearly... Yo,
this is the best thing ever!

1506
01:05:41,671 --> 01:05:44,239
Schmidt fucked the
captain's daughter!

1507
01:05:44,241 --> 01:05:47,242
Schmidt fucked
the captain's daughter!

1508
01:05:47,244 --> 01:05:50,078
Schmidt fucked the
captain's daughter!

1509
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:52,681
Shit! Fuck!

1510
01:05:52,683 --> 01:05:55,283
You fucked captain
dickson's daughter?

1511
01:05:55,952 --> 01:05:57,519
Captain, what the...

1512
01:05:57,521 --> 01:05:59,921
You bragged to him to his face.

1513
01:05:59,923 --> 01:06:01,589
To his actual face. Captain...

1514
01:06:01,591 --> 01:06:05,393
Do you understand that this face right
here, you bragged to that face?

1515
01:06:05,395 --> 01:06:08,964
You actually high-fived schmidt
for fucking your daughter.

1516
01:06:08,966 --> 01:06:10,031
Holy shit!

1517
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:12,067
Oh, my God! This is...

1518
01:06:13,402 --> 01:06:14,970
It's really not that funny.

1519
01:06:16,038 --> 01:06:17,939
I just want to say that

1520
01:06:17,941 --> 01:06:22,344
it was bizarre not
to share the fact

1521
01:06:22,346 --> 01:06:24,879
that your daughter
went to mc state.

1522
01:06:24,881 --> 01:06:26,247
I think it's bizarre

1523
01:06:26,249 --> 01:06:28,616
that I haven't cut your
motherfucking nuts off.

1524
01:06:28,618 --> 01:06:31,953
What if captain gets to punch
you in the face one time,

1525
01:06:31,955 --> 01:06:33,688
really, really, really hard?

1526
01:06:33,690 --> 01:06:34,656
Nah.

1527
01:06:36,092 --> 01:06:38,259
I got something way
better than that.

1528
01:06:41,764 --> 01:06:44,733
You think Cynthia
was the dealer?

1529
01:06:44,735 --> 01:06:47,936
How the fuck we gonna infiltrate
the dealer if the dealer is dead?

1530
01:06:47,938 --> 01:06:49,371
We have to stop treating this

1531
01:06:49,373 --> 01:06:51,773
like it's exactly the
same as last time.

1532
01:06:51,775 --> 01:06:54,843
And we got a bigger problem.
No more money in the budget.

1533
01:06:54,845 --> 01:06:56,077
What? I thought we
had Cate blanchett.

1534
01:06:56,946 --> 01:06:58,513
Cate blanchett?

1535
01:06:58,515 --> 01:07:01,016
Yeah, I thought we had Cate
blanchett with the budget.

1536
01:07:01,018 --> 01:07:02,550
You mean "carte blanche."

1537
01:07:03,452 --> 01:07:04,686
That one.

1538
01:07:04,688 --> 01:07:06,488
Welcome back, dum-dum.

1539
01:07:06,490 --> 01:07:09,724
We did have carte blanche.
Not no more.

1540
01:07:09,726 --> 01:07:11,893
You got that expensive
chase in the beginning,

1541
01:07:11,895 --> 01:07:15,663
that expensive equipment,
this fucking office...

1542
01:07:15,665 --> 01:07:18,933
This look like some shit iron man
would have. Shit's expensive!

1543
01:07:18,935 --> 01:07:22,904
I got on $800 shoes, and you can't
even see the motherfuckers.

1544
01:07:22,906 --> 01:07:25,340
So now you two motherfuckers
is in the crosshairs.

1545
01:07:25,342 --> 01:07:26,808
I'm warning you,

1546
01:07:26,810 --> 01:07:28,710
find the supplier,

1547
01:07:28,712 --> 01:07:30,378
but don't cost the
department no more money.

1548
01:07:32,481 --> 01:07:36,017
Look, I apologize
about the zook thing.

1549
01:07:36,019 --> 01:07:38,353
You were right, he's
not the dealer.

1550
01:07:38,355 --> 01:07:39,821
Okay, great. You apologized.

1551
01:07:39,823 --> 01:07:41,222
What's that worth, man?

1552
01:07:41,224 --> 01:07:44,526
Now we have no leads. What
are we supposed to do now?

1553
01:07:44,528 --> 01:07:45,427
Police work.

1554
01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:54,436
Fuck.

1555
01:07:58,208 --> 01:08:00,308
Don't throw a fucking dead
person's dildo at me.

1556
01:08:00,310 --> 01:08:02,477
We're at work right now, okay?

1557
01:08:02,479 --> 01:08:04,746
Kids don't check
out books anymore, right?

1558
01:08:05,848 --> 01:08:07,582
I don't even think
they know how to read.

1559
01:08:10,386 --> 01:08:12,187
Library. Book place.

1560
01:08:12,189 --> 01:08:13,354
Library.

1561
01:08:13,356 --> 01:08:15,423
The supplier is putting drugs

1562
01:08:15,425 --> 01:08:16,524
inside the books in the library,

1563
01:08:16,526 --> 01:08:18,660
where literally no one
goes anymore, man.

1564
01:08:18,662 --> 01:08:20,428
And the dealers check
out the books.

1565
01:08:20,430 --> 01:08:22,297
We're going to catch the supplier.

1566
01:08:22,299 --> 01:08:23,598
Do you realize how cool...
Wait, one sec, one sec.

1567
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:25,100
What's up, dude?

1568
01:08:25,102 --> 01:08:27,001
Hey, dude, where are you?

1569
01:08:27,003 --> 01:08:29,237
We're warming up. The
game's about to start.

1570
01:08:29,239 --> 01:08:30,839
All right, man. Um,
look, I'm just gonna...

1571
01:08:30,841 --> 01:08:32,107
I'm coming.

1572
01:08:32,109 --> 01:08:33,341
All right, later.

1573
01:08:33,343 --> 01:08:34,943
What are you doing?
Don't leave me hanging.

1574
01:08:34,945 --> 01:08:37,645
Dude, I got to go or I'm
gonna blow my cover, okay?

1575
01:08:37,647 --> 01:08:39,114
You can do this alone.
I'll be back in two hours.

1576
01:08:39,116 --> 01:08:40,315
You got this.

1577
01:08:50,927 --> 01:08:52,327
You scared me.

1578
01:09:03,105 --> 01:09:06,007
State name! Number!
State name! Number!

1579
01:09:06,009 --> 01:09:07,609
Color! Color! Number!

1580
01:09:08,377 --> 01:09:09,744
This is the place.

1581
01:09:09,746 --> 01:09:11,312
You'd think if somebody wants
to show us their operation,

1582
01:09:11,314 --> 01:09:12,747
they'd at least be on time.

1583
01:09:14,183 --> 01:09:16,584
Look at this crap. Huh?

1584
01:09:16,586 --> 01:09:18,653
I do miss the days... Shit.

1585
01:09:18,655 --> 01:09:20,488
What's he doing here? ...When
people did normal drugs.

1586
01:09:21,223 --> 01:09:22,590
What is this? Jelly beans?

1587
01:09:23,792 --> 01:09:24,959
Crap!

1588
01:09:24,961 --> 01:09:26,995
Set, hut!

1589
01:09:26,997 --> 01:09:29,931
<i> Mcquaid crosses
in an end-around.</i>

1590
01:09:29,933 --> 01:09:33,234
<i> It's a trick play! These two are
practically interchangeable.</i>

1591
01:09:33,236 --> 01:09:35,503
<i> Mcquaid throws down
the field to haythe.</i>

1592
01:09:40,209 --> 01:09:42,177
<i> And he hangs on
for the touchdown!</i>

1593
01:09:42,179 --> 01:09:43,745
<i> These two are
peas in a pod, Bob,</i>

1594
01:09:43,747 --> 01:09:45,146
<i> but instead of
little green balls,</i>

1595
01:09:45,148 --> 01:09:46,648
<i> they are human
football players.</i>

1596
01:09:50,854 --> 01:09:54,756
<i> Let's hear it once again,
mc state, for your dynamic duo.</i>

1597
01:09:58,027 --> 01:09:59,561
Oh, shit. My brother
needs me again.

1598
01:10:01,931 --> 01:10:04,332
Look, you know, loyalty's cool,

1599
01:10:04,334 --> 01:10:06,167
and I admire it,

1600
01:10:06,169 --> 01:10:07,335
and I know he's your brother.

1601
01:10:09,305 --> 01:10:10,972
But you can't allow yourself
to be held down by a guy

1602
01:10:10,974 --> 01:10:13,675
just because he won't let go.

1603
01:10:18,047 --> 01:10:19,247
Yeah. Um...

1604
01:10:21,517 --> 01:10:23,318
I gotta take a piss.

1605
01:10:25,955 --> 01:10:28,122
The kid's pretty rude
to make us wait like this.

1606
01:10:28,124 --> 01:10:29,791
Can you shut it?

1607
01:10:29,793 --> 01:10:31,993
What's wrong with those
classic drugs from the '90s?

1608
01:10:31,995 --> 01:10:33,795
Heroin, you know, cocaine...

1609
01:10:33,797 --> 01:10:35,563
Hey, hey. Whoa. Shit.

1610
01:10:35,565 --> 01:10:36,631
I'm fucking here.
You happy? Shh!

1611
01:10:36,633 --> 01:10:38,299
The ghost is right there, okay?

1612
01:10:38,301 --> 01:10:39,767
He's about to meet up
with the supplier.

1613
01:10:39,769 --> 01:10:41,703
- Hey. Check that out.
- You shush.

1614
01:10:41,705 --> 01:10:43,404
You're the one fucking talking.
You're being so fucking loud.

1615
01:10:43,406 --> 01:10:44,572
You shut the fuck up.

1616
01:10:45,708 --> 01:10:46,708
- What's going on here?
- Shit!

1617
01:10:46,710 --> 01:10:48,243
Um...

1618
01:10:48,245 --> 01:10:51,446
You're interrupting
a really stellar blow job.

1619
01:10:51,448 --> 01:10:53,448
Oh, fuck, I just came so hard!

1620
01:10:53,450 --> 01:10:54,682
What the hell is going on?

1621
01:10:54,684 --> 01:10:55,650
It's okay. It's just
a couple of faggots.

1622
01:10:56,785 --> 01:10:58,586
Hey, yo, what the fuck
did you just say?

1623
01:10:58,588 --> 01:10:59,988
Did you just call us "faggots"?

1624
01:10:59,990 --> 01:11:01,022
He said you were
sucking his dick.

1625
01:11:02,024 --> 01:11:03,591
It's 2014, asshole.

1626
01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,159
You can't fucking use "faggot."

1627
01:11:05,161 --> 01:11:07,295
"Gay" is okay.
"Homosexual," maybe.

1628
01:11:07,297 --> 01:11:09,797
And if you know the person, you might
be able to call them a "queer."

1629
01:11:09,799 --> 01:11:11,699
If they have a great sense
of humor, but I don't.

1630
01:11:11,701 --> 01:11:13,234
I'm sorry, he took one
human sexuality class,

1631
01:11:13,236 --> 01:11:14,435
he thinks he's Harvey milk.

1632
01:11:14,437 --> 01:11:16,304
Oh, my God. Will you please,

1633
01:11:16,306 --> 01:11:18,306
just for once, just back me up?

1634
01:11:18,308 --> 01:11:19,907
Why can't you just use
your head for once?

1635
01:11:19,909 --> 01:11:21,276
Oh. You want me to use my head?
Fine.

1636
01:11:23,646 --> 01:11:24,879
Oh, yeah, what's up
now, motherfuckers?

1637
01:11:24,881 --> 01:11:25,880
You remember me?

1638
01:11:25,882 --> 01:11:27,148
I'm your best night...

1639
01:11:27,150 --> 01:11:28,516
I'm your worst nightmare.

1640
01:11:28,518 --> 01:11:30,685
Oh, man, it's my memory.

1641
01:11:31,353 --> 01:11:32,920
It's getting worse lately.

1642
01:11:32,922 --> 01:11:34,656
Are you the police?

1643
01:11:34,658 --> 01:11:37,959
Yeah, that's right. And you
motherfuckers are all under arrest.

1644
01:11:39,194 --> 01:11:40,762
Where's your gun?

1645
01:11:40,764 --> 01:11:41,896
What? Do you have guns?

1646
01:11:42,831 --> 01:11:44,265
No.

1647
01:11:44,267 --> 01:11:45,967
No, I don't.

1648
01:11:45,969 --> 01:11:48,736
'Cause we have guns.

1649
01:11:48,738 --> 01:11:52,840
Well, why don't you put your guns
down, and let's fight like men?

1650
01:11:55,210 --> 01:11:56,678
Because we have guns.

1651
01:11:56,680 --> 01:11:58,513
Schmidt, run! Get him!

1652
01:11:58,515 --> 01:12:00,715
Go! Go, go. Go!

1653
01:12:00,717 --> 01:12:01,516
Shit!

1654
01:12:02,618 --> 01:12:04,185
How hard can it be?
Shoot them!

1655
01:12:04,187 --> 01:12:05,420
Fuck, fuck, fuck!

1656
01:12:05,422 --> 01:12:06,387
Shoot them! Shoot them!

1657
01:12:08,190 --> 01:12:09,557
Come on, this way, it's faster.

1658
01:12:09,559 --> 01:12:10,825
No, just come this...
Schmidt! Schmidt!

1659
01:12:13,095 --> 01:12:13,928
Hurry up, okay?

1660
01:12:18,567 --> 01:12:19,901
Schmidt, will you hurry up!

1661
01:12:19,903 --> 01:12:21,069
Stop yelling at me!
You're distracting me!

1662
01:12:24,173 --> 01:12:25,640
Schmidt, come on! Let's go!

1663
01:12:25,642 --> 01:12:27,475
I can't jump down! I'm not,
like, fucking spider-man!

1664
01:12:27,477 --> 01:12:29,344
I'm gonna get the car.

1665
01:12:33,315 --> 01:12:34,549
Stairs are so much faster.

1666
01:12:35,685 --> 01:12:37,385
That's the car you got?

1667
01:12:37,387 --> 01:12:38,953
I'm sorry it's not a fucking lambo.
Shut up and get in.

1668
01:12:38,955 --> 01:12:40,054
Are they even still chasing us?

1669
01:12:40,056 --> 01:12:40,955
Yes, they're still chasing us!

1670
01:12:48,864 --> 01:12:50,264
Why did you do that? We were
about to catch the supplier.

1671
01:12:50,266 --> 01:12:51,499
What's wrong with you?

1672
01:12:51,501 --> 01:12:52,767
Look, if you don't
say something,

1673
01:12:52,769 --> 01:12:54,535
people will never
stop discriminating.

1674
01:12:54,537 --> 01:12:56,137
Will you please do something

1675
01:12:56,139 --> 01:12:57,138
about how slow this
thing's going?

1676
01:13:01,544 --> 01:13:02,744
Oh, shit! Watch out, watch out!

1677
01:13:06,882 --> 01:13:08,683
That is just like a
little helmet machine.

1678
01:13:19,027 --> 01:13:20,962
We can't destroy any more stuff!

1679
01:13:20,964 --> 01:13:23,531
We can't waste any more of
the department's money!

1680
01:13:23,533 --> 01:13:24,866
Watch out for that cash machine!

1681
01:13:27,970 --> 01:13:29,604
Whoo!

1682
01:13:29,606 --> 01:13:30,772
Which way? Which way? Which way?

1683
01:13:30,774 --> 01:13:31,439
Whichever
way's cheaper!

1684
01:13:32,241 --> 01:13:34,108
Right? You went right?

1685
01:13:34,110 --> 01:13:35,543
You could've gone
in a parking lot,

1686
01:13:35,545 --> 01:13:36,878
you went to the
sculpture garden?

1687
01:13:36,880 --> 01:13:37,945
Do you know how expensive
that's gonna be?

1688
01:13:43,185 --> 01:13:44,652
Shit!

1689
01:13:44,654 --> 01:13:45,620
It's like they're trying
to hit 'em or something.

1690
01:13:45,622 --> 01:13:46,954
I mean, it looks cool,

1691
01:13:46,956 --> 01:13:48,055
but, I mean, it's
just so wasteful.

1692
01:13:50,959 --> 01:13:53,094
They're
destroying everything!

1693
01:13:53,096 --> 01:13:55,329
Captain's gonna kill us!

1694
01:13:55,331 --> 01:13:56,898
What are we gonna do?

1695
01:13:56,900 --> 01:13:58,065
All right, we're gonna lose
'em in the robotics lab.

1696
01:13:58,067 --> 01:13:59,000
What?

1697
01:14:04,740 --> 01:14:07,074
Oh, no! Oh,
we broke everything!

1698
01:14:07,076 --> 01:14:08,843
There was a lot of
expensive stuff in there!

1699
01:14:10,279 --> 01:14:11,179
Oh, shit!

1700
01:14:12,748 --> 01:14:13,614
They're going into the stadium!

1701
01:14:16,885 --> 01:14:18,186
Listen, schmidt, I gotta
tell you something.

1702
01:14:19,388 --> 01:14:20,588
I got offered a scholarship

1703
01:14:20,590 --> 01:14:22,356
to play football here next year.

1704
01:14:22,358 --> 01:14:24,392
And zook said I could
room with him, you know,

1705
01:14:24,394 --> 01:14:28,329
so I was thinking that I
could do that, maybe.

1706
01:14:28,331 --> 01:14:30,331
What? You can't be a cop

1707
01:14:30,333 --> 01:14:32,099
and stay here and play
football with zook.

1708
01:14:32,101 --> 01:14:34,135
No, look, I know, okay?
It's just...

1709
01:14:34,137 --> 01:14:36,270
There's no friction with me and zook.
We're the same.

1710
01:14:36,272 --> 01:14:38,473
Do you want out? If you
want out, just say it.

1711
01:14:38,475 --> 01:14:40,274
No, I don't want out, okay?

1712
01:14:40,276 --> 01:14:41,943
It's just, when I'm
on the football field

1713
01:14:41,945 --> 01:14:44,479
and I'm diving for a pass,
I feel like I can fly.

1714
01:14:44,481 --> 01:14:45,780
All right? And
when I'm with you,

1715
01:14:45,782 --> 01:14:47,048
it just feels like
you hold me down.

1716
01:14:48,684 --> 01:14:50,551
I just wish you
could fly with me.

1717
01:14:50,553 --> 01:14:53,521
<i> And the
statesmen win, 34-14.</i>

1718
01:14:53,523 --> 01:14:55,423
<i> And there
go the fans onto the field.</i>

1719
01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:03,264
Jenko!

1720
01:15:04,366 --> 01:15:05,700
Jesus Christ!

1721
01:15:08,003 --> 01:15:09,337
Dude, the brakes are out. What?

1722
01:15:09,339 --> 01:15:10,872
Get the fuck out of the way!

1723
01:15:10,874 --> 01:15:11,973
You gotta jump. You
gotta jump, jump, jump!

1724
01:15:18,247 --> 01:15:18,813
No.

1725
01:15:28,690 --> 01:15:29,824
Fuck!

1726
01:15:41,837 --> 01:15:43,037
Let's go, boss. We gotta go.

1727
01:15:45,073 --> 01:15:47,108
You did it! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

1728
01:15:49,478 --> 01:15:51,078
You're under arrest, sir.

1729
01:15:51,080 --> 01:15:52,713
Hey, I'm an officer, all right?

1730
01:15:52,715 --> 01:15:55,149
Just take me in.
I'll explain later.

1731
01:15:55,151 --> 01:15:57,218
No, no, no. Hey, he's a student.
He didn't do anything.

1732
01:15:57,220 --> 01:16:00,187
Wait, wait. What are you doing?
What are you doing?

1733
01:16:00,189 --> 01:16:01,155
I, um...

1734
01:16:01,823 --> 01:16:03,324
I decided for you.

1735
01:16:04,826 --> 01:16:08,129
Just stick with football.

1736
01:16:08,131 --> 01:16:11,365
I can't give you the same
feeling that these guys can.

1737
01:16:11,367 --> 01:16:12,400
Maybe we were only
supposed to do this once.

1738
01:16:12,402 --> 01:16:13,968
What?

1739
01:16:13,970 --> 01:16:14,936
Dude, this is the fucking
best moment of my life!

1740
01:16:14,938 --> 01:16:16,270
Let's go, man!

1741
01:16:19,441 --> 01:16:22,910
Mcquaid!
Mcquaid! Mcquaid!

1742
01:16:28,617 --> 01:16:29,917
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

1743
01:16:37,960 --> 01:16:39,226
Hey, Maya angelou.

1744
01:16:40,329 --> 01:16:41,629
Thanks for lying to me.

1745
01:16:48,270 --> 01:16:49,136
Aw.

1746
01:16:53,976 --> 01:16:56,210
Lam-bros! Yes!

1747
01:16:56,212 --> 01:16:58,546
Brad mcquaid!
Brad mcquaid!

1748
01:16:58,548 --> 01:16:59,947
Brad mcquaid! Brad...

1749
01:17:07,022 --> 01:17:09,056
How are we doing tonight, sir?
Good, thanks.

1750
01:17:09,058 --> 01:17:10,992
Are we waiting on anybody
or you dining alone?

1751
01:17:10,994 --> 01:17:13,027
Someone may swing
by, but we can...

1752
01:17:13,029 --> 01:17:14,795
We can order without them.

1753
01:17:14,797 --> 01:17:19,100
<i> We have identified and arrested one Dr.
Karl Murphy,</i>

1754
01:17:19,102 --> 01:17:22,436
<i> who was found with whyphy
residue throughout his office...</i>

1755
01:17:22,438 --> 01:17:26,007
<i> ...and had a close personal
relationship with the deceased.</i>

1756
01:17:26,009 --> 01:17:28,709
<i> Exactly like a case we had
recently at a high school.</i>

1757
01:17:29,578 --> 01:17:31,746
<i> Exactly the same.</i>

1758
01:17:32,781 --> 01:17:34,949
<i> The case is closed.</i>

1759
01:17:34,951 --> 01:17:37,118
You know, like, what you're gonna
do after you're out of here?

1760
01:17:41,556 --> 01:17:43,791
You're not supposed
to throw rocks.

1761
01:17:45,293 --> 01:17:46,527
What?

1762
01:17:46,529 --> 01:17:49,030
You're not supposed
to throw rocks.

1763
01:17:49,032 --> 01:17:50,798
<i> ¶ I ain't
missing you at all</i>

1764
01:17:53,902 --> 01:17:58,239
<i> ¶ since you've been gone away</i>

1765
01:17:58,241 --> 01:18:01,008
the lobster for one person.

1766
01:18:01,010 --> 01:18:03,144
Enough for one person only.

1767
01:18:03,146 --> 01:18:06,847
<i> ¶ No matter what my friends say</i>

1768
01:18:06,849 --> 01:18:08,649
I found something in this whyphy
case that caught my attention.

1769
01:18:08,651 --> 01:18:10,351
Get the fuck out of my office.

1770
01:18:10,353 --> 01:18:11,819
Sir, you don't...
We caught the guy.

1771
01:18:12,989 --> 01:18:15,289
Yeah! Yeah!

1772
01:18:20,028 --> 01:18:23,130
Hey, you want to do anything
else other than work out today?

1773
01:18:23,132 --> 01:18:24,365
Like what?

1774
01:18:24,367 --> 01:18:26,000
Come on, dude. They're
just lobsters, dude.

1775
01:18:26,002 --> 01:18:27,468
Come on. No, don't be afraid.

1776
01:18:27,470 --> 01:18:29,470
It's gonna claw your face.
It's gonna claw your face.

1777
01:18:36,144 --> 01:18:39,880
It's gonna be like this, dude,
for the rest of our lives.

1778
01:18:39,882 --> 01:18:41,315
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

1779
01:18:41,317 --> 01:18:44,218
<i> ¶ down this long
distance line tonight</i>

1780
01:18:44,220 --> 01:18:46,120
<i> ¶ I ain't missing you at all</i>

1781
01:18:49,091 --> 01:18:53,060
<i> ¶ since you've been gone away</i>

1782
01:18:53,062 --> 01:18:54,829
<i> ¶ I ain't missing you</i>

1783
01:18:58,500 --> 01:19:02,870
<i> ¶ no matter what my friends say</i>

1784
01:19:02,872 --> 01:19:04,739
<i> ¶ ain't missing you ¶</i>

1785
01:19:06,742 --> 01:19:07,875
hey. Hey.

1786
01:19:10,679 --> 01:19:12,513
What are you doing here?

1787
01:19:12,515 --> 01:19:14,482
Just came to see how you are.

1788
01:19:15,784 --> 01:19:17,585
I'm doing fucking great.

1789
01:19:17,587 --> 01:19:19,086
I'm the happiest I've ever been,

1790
01:19:19,088 --> 01:19:21,655
so I'm just having a
great time with myself.

1791
01:19:21,657 --> 01:19:23,457
I'm glad you're having a
good time with yourself.

1792
01:19:23,459 --> 01:19:26,761
I'm a solo artist
now, like Beyonce.

1793
01:19:26,763 --> 01:19:30,498
I used to have the other destiny's
children, but now I'm just, uh,

1794
01:19:30,500 --> 01:19:31,699
a lone superstar.

1795
01:19:31,701 --> 01:19:33,434
Happy for you.

1796
01:19:33,436 --> 01:19:36,337
Just a light-skinned princess with
a dream and an amazing voice.

1797
01:19:36,339 --> 01:19:37,138
That's great.

1798
01:19:38,140 --> 01:19:39,006
How are you?

1799
01:19:39,708 --> 01:19:42,209
I'm pretty great.

1800
01:19:42,211 --> 01:19:44,912
I just chill and... You
know how chill zook is.

1801
01:19:44,914 --> 01:19:45,980
Zook's such a chill guy.

1802
01:19:45,982 --> 01:19:47,648
Just like ice.

1803
01:19:47,650 --> 01:19:49,483
That makes me so happy for you.

1804
01:19:52,554 --> 01:19:54,855
So, look, I just wanted
to say that, like,

1805
01:19:54,857 --> 01:19:56,924
I was thinking about the case,

1806
01:19:56,926 --> 01:19:59,193
and I was worried that they
got the wrong guy for it.

1807
01:20:00,962 --> 01:20:01,729
I don't think he's
the guy, either.

1808
01:20:01,731 --> 01:20:03,330
Yeah?

1809
01:20:03,332 --> 01:20:05,399
I looked into the
ghost's background,

1810
01:20:05,401 --> 01:20:08,469
and I saw that he pays tuition
for a student at mc state.

1811
01:20:08,471 --> 01:20:10,204
You think the ghost could
be the supplier's dad?

1812
01:20:10,206 --> 01:20:11,472
Maybe.

1813
01:20:11,474 --> 01:20:12,540
Okay, that's a pretty good
piece of information.

1814
01:20:12,542 --> 01:20:13,808
Thank you.

1815
01:20:13,810 --> 01:20:16,210
Well, I heard whyphy's
coming back in a big way.

1816
01:20:16,212 --> 01:20:17,711
Someone's bringing a
shit-ton of that stuff

1817
01:20:17,713 --> 01:20:19,547
down to puerto, Mexico,
for spring break.

1818
01:20:19,549 --> 01:20:22,583
And if that happens,
whyphy is going viral.

1819
01:20:22,585 --> 01:20:24,051
It's gonna be at every
college in the country.

1820
01:20:24,053 --> 01:20:26,287
I think my information
was stronger.

1821
01:20:26,289 --> 01:20:28,255
Look, if you... If you want to,

1822
01:20:29,925 --> 01:20:30,958
we could go down there.

1823
01:20:32,060 --> 01:20:33,761
Like together?

1824
01:20:33,763 --> 01:20:35,396
We don't have to
put a label on it.

1825
01:20:35,398 --> 01:20:37,598
Just, like, one-time.
One-time thing.

1826
01:20:37,600 --> 01:20:39,733
No big commitment or
stress to each other.

1827
01:20:43,038 --> 01:20:45,539
What about school and football
and your wonderful new life?

1828
01:20:46,842 --> 01:20:47,608
I have time off.

1829
01:20:49,711 --> 01:20:51,212
I'm on spring break.

1830
01:20:51,746 --> 01:20:52,847
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

1831
01:21:05,895 --> 01:21:06,894
Cool tingling.

1832
01:21:08,029 --> 01:21:09,430
Got room for one
of these babies.

1833
01:21:09,432 --> 01:21:11,732
A grenade. Why you
gonna put it there?

1834
01:21:11,734 --> 01:21:13,167
That's just unsanitary.

1835
01:21:13,169 --> 01:21:14,134
Feels right.

1836
01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:27,181
Missed a spot.

1837
01:21:38,827 --> 01:21:40,194
You know this is just a
one-time thing, right?

1838
01:21:41,796 --> 01:21:42,930
I know.

1839
01:21:44,266 --> 01:21:46,467
So you're not gonna
be weird about this?

1840
01:21:50,772 --> 01:21:51,939
Okay.

1841
01:21:56,611 --> 01:21:57,478
Perfect.

1842
01:21:58,747 --> 01:22:00,481
Spring break, motherfucker.

1843
01:22:04,152 --> 01:22:05,586
Did you not see that I was going first?
Excuse you.

1844
01:22:05,588 --> 01:22:07,655
Excuse you. You
want to go first?

1845
01:22:07,657 --> 01:22:09,623
<i> Spring break,
motherfuckers!</i>

1846
01:22:11,794 --> 01:22:13,294
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

1847
01:22:13,296 --> 01:22:15,362
<i> ¶ I be divin' in the crowd</i>

1848
01:22:15,364 --> 01:22:16,897
<i> ¶ shake my dreads, actin' wild</i>

1849
01:22:16,899 --> 01:22:18,565
<i> ¶ can't do lean, too blowed out</i>

1850
01:22:18,567 --> 01:22:20,367
<i> ¶ too turnt up, I
can't turn down</i>

1851
01:22:20,369 --> 01:22:21,835
<i> ¶ can't turn down
can't turn down</i>

1852
01:22:21,837 --> 01:22:23,203
<i> ¶ can't turn down</i>

1853
01:22:27,876 --> 01:22:29,009
hey.

1854
01:22:38,320 --> 01:22:40,220
<i> ¶ All I wanna do is party</i>

1855
01:22:40,222 --> 01:22:41,722
<i> ¶ my head keep on
spinning around</i>

1856
01:22:41,724 --> 01:22:43,090
<i> ¶ baby girl, why
don't you first</i>

1857
01:22:43,092 --> 01:22:44,959
<i> ¶ drop it to the ground</i>

1858
01:22:44,961 --> 01:22:46,727
<i> ¶ I be divin' in the crowd</i>

1859
01:22:46,729 --> 01:22:48,195
<i> ¶ shake my dreads, actin' wild</i>

1860
01:22:48,197 --> 01:22:49,964
<i> ¶ can't do lean, too blowed out</i>

1861
01:22:49,966 --> 01:22:51,799
<i> ¶ too turnt up, I
can't turn down</i>

1862
01:22:51,801 --> 01:22:53,400
<i> ¶ can't turn down
can't turn down</i>

1863
01:22:53,402 --> 01:22:54,935
<i> ¶ can't turn down
can't turn down</i>

1864
01:22:54,937 --> 01:22:56,704
<i> ¶ can't turn down
can't turn down</i>

1865
01:22:56,706 --> 01:22:58,005
<i> ¶ can't turn down
can't turn down ¶</i>

1866
01:23:02,811 --> 01:23:05,079
my gosh! I'm sweaty.

1867
01:23:05,081 --> 01:23:06,180
You guys are actually
eating stuff in here?

1868
01:23:06,681 --> 01:23:08,315
That's so crazy.

1869
01:23:08,317 --> 01:23:09,950
Come on, man,
put your dick away.

1870
01:23:09,952 --> 01:23:11,218
Put your fucking dick away.

1871
01:23:11,220 --> 01:23:12,720
Upstairs, upstairs. Let's go.

1872
01:23:15,190 --> 01:23:16,957
<i> Okay, so
here's the plan.</i>

1873
01:23:16,959 --> 01:23:21,061
We're gonna get all these kids at
spring break hooked on whyphy.

1874
01:23:21,063 --> 01:23:23,063
Then you're gonna bring
it back to your turf,

1875
01:23:23,065 --> 01:23:25,165
and you're gonna sell
the shit out of it.

1876
01:23:25,167 --> 01:23:27,901
"Sell shit out of
it." Do you see that?

1877
01:23:27,903 --> 01:23:31,705
And if you rat me out, I framed my psych
prof just for giving me a b-minus.

1878
01:23:31,707 --> 01:23:34,208
He's in jail now, so
don't fuck with me.

1879
01:23:35,610 --> 01:23:36,744
We're gonna build a
nationwide network.

1880
01:23:36,746 --> 01:23:39,146
What? What the fuck are you doing?
Be quiet.

1881
01:23:39,148 --> 01:23:41,615
Why don't you sell those
old classic drugs

1882
01:23:41,617 --> 01:23:44,685
from the '90s, like
cocaine, heroin and...

1883
01:23:44,687 --> 01:23:47,388
Dad, those are, like,
old-people drugs.

1884
01:23:47,390 --> 01:23:49,256
That's, like, what they
did on <i> the golden girls.</i>

1885
01:23:49,258 --> 01:23:50,824
Like, blanche did heroin.

1886
01:23:50,826 --> 01:23:53,160
All right, I'll just sit
here and be silent.

1887
01:23:53,162 --> 01:23:55,763
Blanche never did heroin.

1888
01:23:55,765 --> 01:23:57,965
Okay, so, yangs, you'll take
my dead roommate's spot.

1889
01:23:57,967 --> 01:23:59,299
Cool. Dope.

1890
01:23:59,301 --> 01:24:01,168
Are you kidding me, yangs?
Are you fucking high?

1891
01:24:01,170 --> 01:24:02,970
Of course. Yeah, I am.

1892
01:24:02,972 --> 01:24:04,271
Jesus Christ, have
you ever heard of,

1893
01:24:04,273 --> 01:24:05,706
"don't get high on
your own supply"?

1894
01:24:05,708 --> 01:24:06,840
We didn't. Nah.

1895
01:24:06,842 --> 01:24:08,075
I didn't do that.

1896
01:24:08,077 --> 01:24:09,676
Yeah, I used his
and he used mine.

1897
01:24:09,678 --> 01:24:11,812
Okay, well, now I have to make
a fucking example out of you.

1898
01:24:13,048 --> 01:24:13,847
That's a gun. Yeah.

1899
01:24:13,849 --> 01:24:15,682
Who first?

1900
01:24:15,684 --> 01:24:17,384
You want to go first?
I don't want to die.

1901
01:24:17,386 --> 01:24:18,819
You die... I don't want to die.

1902
01:24:18,821 --> 01:24:20,320
You want to do rock paper scissors?
Rock paper scissors?

1903
01:24:20,322 --> 01:24:21,655
That's how we'll do it.
That's how we'll do it.

1904
01:24:22,057 --> 01:24:23,190
Fuck.

1905
01:24:23,658 --> 01:24:24,858
Fuck.

1906
01:24:24,860 --> 01:24:26,260
Fuck.

1907
01:24:26,262 --> 01:24:27,628
Yeah, we won't figure this out.

1908
01:24:27,630 --> 01:24:29,229
- I'll shoot both of you.
- Darling.

1909
01:24:29,231 --> 01:24:31,598
If you're going into
the family business,

1910
01:24:31,600 --> 01:24:33,500
you will have to
have a clean record.

1911
01:24:33,502 --> 01:24:36,203
That's why we have these
guys to do it for us.

1912
01:24:37,705 --> 01:24:39,773
Oh, fuck. Jinx.

1913
01:24:39,775 --> 01:24:40,741
We got to move right now.

1914
01:24:40,743 --> 01:24:43,410
Buy me a coke in heaven.
Jinx again.

1915
01:24:43,412 --> 01:24:44,611
Put your guns down!
Fucking guns down!

1916
01:24:45,146 --> 01:24:46,480
Doug?

1917
01:24:46,482 --> 01:24:48,949
My name's not Doug,
it's schmidt.

1918
01:24:48,951 --> 01:24:50,751
And guess what, we're cops.
Boom.

1919
01:24:51,986 --> 01:24:53,454
Oh, my God.

1920
01:24:53,456 --> 01:24:55,689
Yeah, everybody knows. Really?

1921
01:24:55,691 --> 01:24:59,126
You guys look like the stars of a
cop show called <i> Hawaiian dads.</i>

1922
01:24:59,128 --> 01:25:01,728
All right, enough is enough.
Boys, move in!

1923
01:25:01,730 --> 01:25:03,564
- Oh, do we have company?
- Yeah!

1924
01:25:05,033 --> 01:25:06,834
Drop your guns.
Drop yours first.

1925
01:25:06,836 --> 01:25:09,169
We have way more guns than you.
Drop your fucking guns.

1926
01:25:09,171 --> 01:25:10,370
Okay, that's a good point.

1927
01:25:10,372 --> 01:25:12,106
Wow.

1928
01:25:12,108 --> 01:25:14,741
I mean, was this really
your entire plan?

1929
01:25:14,743 --> 01:25:16,176
Coming in here with no backup?

1930
01:25:16,178 --> 01:25:19,213
Or maybe we had a far more
elaborate plan. Mmm-hmm.

1931
01:25:19,215 --> 01:25:21,548
Maybe my partner has a tracking
device in his pocket right now.

1932
01:25:21,550 --> 01:25:22,783
May... what?

1933
01:25:22,785 --> 01:25:24,451
You had the fucking tracking device.
I don't have it.

1934
01:25:24,453 --> 01:25:26,086
That's the one fucking thing
you were supposed to remember.

1935
01:25:26,088 --> 01:25:27,988
You're the smart person.
You do the tracking device shit.

1936
01:25:27,990 --> 01:25:29,723
That's your domain. I
do the physical shit.

1937
01:25:29,725 --> 01:25:31,825
You know what, I may
drag you down sometimes,

1938
01:25:31,827 --> 01:25:34,862
but every possible time you
can do something dumb,

1939
01:25:34,864 --> 01:25:36,330
you do the dumbest
possible thing.

1940
01:25:36,332 --> 01:25:37,998
No, the fucking dumbest
possible thing

1941
01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:39,833
is letting two cops
blah-blah-blah

1942
01:25:39,835 --> 01:25:42,402
while other cops are getting in
position to bust their shit in.

1943
01:25:42,404 --> 01:25:44,071
Oh, so you mean I brought
the tracking device.

1944
01:25:44,073 --> 01:25:46,140
Yeah. What's up now, huh?

1945
01:25:46,142 --> 01:25:47,674
That seemed like such
a real argument.

1946
01:25:47,676 --> 01:25:49,042
That's improv, bitch.

1947
01:25:49,044 --> 01:25:50,177
Move!

1948
01:25:51,946 --> 01:25:53,213
Spring break yourself, fool.

1949
01:25:55,116 --> 01:25:57,217
We shoot dicks off
here in jump street.

1950
01:26:00,388 --> 01:26:02,789
We're here, as well.

1951
01:26:02,791 --> 01:26:05,826
We jump street, and we
about to jump in yo' ass.

1952
01:26:06,928 --> 01:26:08,529
Right in the crack.

1953
01:26:08,531 --> 01:26:09,897
Don't do it, leatherface.

1954
01:26:16,337 --> 01:26:16,937
He's got the drugs!

1955
01:26:22,777 --> 01:26:25,112
This is so boring. No
one's getting shot.

1956
01:26:26,981 --> 01:26:28,415
Oh, my God.

1957
01:26:28,417 --> 01:26:31,785
Did you just get shot, like,
right after I fucking said that?

1958
01:26:34,322 --> 01:26:35,322
Can I have your gun?
It's bigger.

1959
01:26:36,859 --> 01:26:37,858
Stop! I'll shoot you in the ass!

1960
01:26:37,860 --> 01:26:38,725
Dad!

1961
01:26:40,128 --> 01:26:42,196
Maya?

1962
01:26:42,198 --> 01:26:43,764
What are you doing here?

1963
01:26:43,766 --> 01:26:44,898
This is a shoot-out.

1964
01:26:44,900 --> 01:26:46,500
You know what happens
in a shoot-out.

1965
01:26:46,502 --> 01:26:48,368
They always kidnap the girl.

1966
01:26:48,370 --> 01:26:49,703
Not always.

1967
01:26:49,705 --> 01:26:51,438
Mercedes? You're coming with me.

1968
01:26:51,440 --> 01:26:53,407
Bitch, please. I ain't
going nowhere with you.

1969
01:26:55,878 --> 01:26:57,110
Now.

1970
01:26:57,112 --> 01:26:58,212
Dad, what do I do?

1971
01:26:58,214 --> 01:26:58,979
Is that my bathing suit?

1972
01:27:02,151 --> 01:27:03,417
Just ask. It's polite.

1973
01:27:05,386 --> 01:27:06,820
You shot me in my foot! Wait!

1974
01:27:06,822 --> 01:27:08,488
Move! Move faster now!

1975
01:27:08,490 --> 01:27:11,058
I'm taking my time. Shit, you
shot me in my goddamn foot.

1976
01:27:11,060 --> 01:27:12,259
Doug? Doug!

1977
01:27:12,261 --> 01:27:13,627
Maya!

1978
01:27:13,629 --> 01:27:15,095
Mercedes just took
my dad that way!

1979
01:27:15,097 --> 01:27:16,463
Okay, we're on it.

1980
01:27:18,399 --> 01:27:21,335
If I die, I'm gonna
kill both of you motherfuckers!

1981
01:27:21,337 --> 01:27:23,303
Fuck. How are we gonna catch him now?

1982
01:27:26,040 --> 01:27:27,407
Lambo.

1983
01:27:30,478 --> 01:27:31,979
<i> Policia! Policia!</i> Fuck off.

1984
01:27:32,981 --> 01:27:33,714
Shit, there's ghost!

1985
01:27:34,949 --> 01:27:36,116
What? What do we do?

1986
01:27:36,118 --> 01:27:37,484
Uh, we need to split up.

1987
01:27:38,219 --> 01:27:40,153
Are you okay with that?

1988
01:27:40,155 --> 01:27:41,221
Yeah, I can do it.

1989
01:27:41,223 --> 01:27:42,556
Are you sure?

1990
01:27:42,558 --> 01:27:44,358
I need to drive, 'cause
you're faster on foot.

1991
01:27:44,360 --> 01:27:45,826
What? I don't get
to drive the lambo?

1992
01:27:45,828 --> 01:27:47,761
No, you don't.
Come on, let's go!

1993
01:27:47,763 --> 01:27:49,596
But I want... Who gives a shit
about the lambo? Just go!

1994
01:27:49,598 --> 01:27:50,697
Let go of the fucking keys!
I can't let 'em go.

1995
01:27:50,699 --> 01:27:51,898
You're gonna have to take 'em.

1996
01:27:51,900 --> 01:27:53,700
Take care of her, okay? It'll
be glorious, I promise.

1997
01:27:55,036 --> 01:27:55,736
How do you drive this thing?

1998
01:27:56,704 --> 01:27:58,272
You got to let her
drive you, bro.

1999
01:28:01,009 --> 01:28:02,376
I can't get in.

2000
01:28:05,113 --> 01:28:06,280
Hey!

2001
01:28:06,282 --> 01:28:07,514
Look where you're going!

2002
01:28:10,385 --> 01:28:11,551
It's so confusing!

2003
01:28:18,426 --> 01:28:19,993
Easy, bitch. My
hands are hurting.

2004
01:28:22,664 --> 01:28:23,530
Whoa!

2005
01:28:27,702 --> 01:28:29,436
You know who's behind
us in that car?

2006
01:28:29,438 --> 01:28:31,371
That's one of the best
drivers that we got.

2007
01:28:32,073 --> 01:28:33,206
Fuck!

2008
01:28:33,208 --> 01:28:35,342
Oh, shit.

2009
01:28:35,344 --> 01:28:36,877
Fucking complicated.
What is this?

2010
01:28:38,379 --> 01:28:39,646
Holy shit!

2011
01:28:41,649 --> 01:28:43,483
You fucked up me driving
a lamborghini, you dick!

2012
01:28:45,987 --> 01:28:46,753
Fuck you, doves!

2013
01:28:55,463 --> 01:28:57,964
<i> Puerto, Mexico,
let's hear you get crazy!</i>

2014
01:29:03,371 --> 01:29:04,504
It's like a Batmobile.

2015
01:29:04,506 --> 01:29:05,539
Come on, schmidt!

2016
01:29:08,409 --> 01:29:09,643
Old man coming through!

2017
01:29:12,080 --> 01:29:13,347
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.

2018
01:29:13,349 --> 01:29:16,416
Brad! Spring break!

2019
01:29:16,418 --> 01:29:17,451
Look, I can't, all right?

2020
01:29:18,586 --> 01:29:20,320
Dude, I got to go. I got to go.

2021
01:29:20,322 --> 01:29:21,822
This is quite enough.

2022
01:29:21,824 --> 01:29:23,690
You need to let me go
and drop all this.

2023
01:29:25,426 --> 01:29:26,426
Get out of the way!

2024
01:29:30,798 --> 01:29:33,900
Tokyo drift!

2025
01:29:36,137 --> 01:29:38,605
That was way too
fast and pretty...

2026
01:29:38,607 --> 01:29:40,407
Way too... A little
bit too furious.

2027
01:29:40,409 --> 01:29:42,809
Schmidt! Get over here!
I'm handcuffed!

2028
01:29:44,446 --> 01:29:46,480
Give it up, asshole!
And nice parking job!

2029
01:29:46,482 --> 01:29:48,081
Fuck! I'll be right back.

2030
01:29:48,083 --> 01:29:49,449
I gotta go. I'll be right back.
Sorry.

2031
01:29:49,451 --> 01:29:51,451
That's a direct order, motherfucker!
Come over here!

2032
01:29:59,927 --> 01:30:01,795
You are
so old and weak!

2033
01:30:01,797 --> 01:30:04,131
Drop the fucking gun! Seriously!

2034
01:30:04,133 --> 01:30:05,599
Get your
wrinkly hands off me!

2035
01:30:10,071 --> 01:30:11,204
Where the hell have you been?

2036
01:30:11,206 --> 01:30:12,539
Looking for you.

2037
01:30:12,541 --> 01:30:14,207
I've been running like crazy!

2038
01:30:14,209 --> 01:30:15,475
Hey! Hey.

2039
01:30:17,678 --> 01:30:19,546
Want to fight like a man?

2040
01:30:19,548 --> 01:30:21,381
Then you better
fight like two men.

2041
01:30:21,383 --> 01:30:22,182
Hey. Hey.

2042
01:30:23,351 --> 01:30:25,552
Really? More twins?

2043
01:30:28,656 --> 01:30:30,023
Get up, old man river!

2044
01:30:30,758 --> 01:30:32,626
Come on! Hey.

2045
01:30:32,628 --> 01:30:34,127
Get up and hit me,
you fucking pussy!

2046
01:30:34,129 --> 01:30:36,129
I'm not gonna fight a
girl, so just stop!

2047
01:30:36,131 --> 01:30:37,497
It shouldn't matter.

2048
01:30:37,499 --> 01:30:39,499
If you thought of me as a
person instead of a woman,

2049
01:30:39,501 --> 01:30:41,001
you would hit me and
not feel bad about it.

2050
01:30:42,904 --> 01:30:44,571
Okay. Bring it!

2051
01:30:44,573 --> 01:30:46,106
I'm ready.

2052
01:30:46,108 --> 01:30:47,641
It's on now, dawg.

2053
01:30:48,142 --> 01:30:49,443
Girl fight.

2054
01:30:51,513 --> 01:30:53,847
Oh. Oh. Oh, my God.

2055
01:30:53,849 --> 01:30:55,415
Is there blood in my eye? Oh, my God.
Are you all right?

2056
01:30:55,417 --> 01:30:56,850
I think there's blood in my eye.

2057
01:30:56,852 --> 01:30:58,452
Fucking learn how to hit!

2058
01:31:00,388 --> 01:31:02,088
That's a little better!

2059
01:31:02,090 --> 01:31:03,657
That's a little better, motherfucker!
Come on! Come on!

2060
01:31:07,862 --> 01:31:09,963
No! No! What?

2061
01:31:09,965 --> 01:31:11,898
What were you doing?
What am I doing?

2062
01:31:11,900 --> 01:31:13,166
Why'd you try to kiss me?

2063
01:31:13,168 --> 01:31:14,334
I didn't fucking
try and kiss you!

2064
01:31:14,336 --> 01:31:16,536
Yes, you did. Ooh,
you're so weird!

2065
01:31:16,538 --> 01:31:18,371
You're fucking Mr. and Mrs.
Smith-ing me.

2066
01:31:18,373 --> 01:31:19,873
I'm not Mr. and Mrs.
Smith-ing you.

2067
01:31:19,875 --> 01:31:21,241
This wasn't a sexy fight.

2068
01:31:21,243 --> 01:31:23,543
Oh, like you haven't wanted
to kiss me the whole time.

2069
01:31:23,545 --> 01:31:25,879
I never once wanted to kiss you!

2070
01:31:25,881 --> 01:31:27,747
Never! No!

2071
01:31:27,749 --> 01:31:28,849
You just did it again!
Stop it! Stop!

2072
01:31:28,851 --> 01:31:30,383
You're making a
face that is sexy!

2073
01:31:30,385 --> 01:31:32,185
I don't even want to kiss you!

2074
01:31:32,187 --> 01:31:33,553
Then stop trying!

2075
01:31:33,555 --> 01:31:34,988
You keep trying!

2076
01:31:34,990 --> 01:31:36,623
I've never tried to kiss you.

2077
01:31:36,625 --> 01:31:37,557
You gave me "kiss me" eyes.

2078
01:31:37,559 --> 01:31:38,959
No, I didn't.

2079
01:31:38,961 --> 01:31:40,794
The eyes were "I just got
punched in the face" eyes.

2080
01:31:40,796 --> 01:31:42,062
They weren't "kiss me" eyes.

2081
01:31:42,064 --> 01:31:43,296
I don't even like you!

2082
01:31:43,298 --> 01:31:45,065
Neither do I, so
stop kissing me!

2083
01:31:45,067 --> 01:31:46,199
Okay!

2084
01:31:47,435 --> 01:31:49,202
No! You're leaning in again!

2085
01:31:49,204 --> 01:31:50,737
I didn't know if we were
gonna punch or kiss!

2086
01:31:50,739 --> 01:31:52,239
You're making this
so uncomfortable.

2087
01:31:52,241 --> 01:31:55,108
This is the most uncomfortable
fistfight I've ever been in.

2088
01:31:55,110 --> 01:31:56,643
I'm gonna give you an out by
punching you in the face.

2089
01:31:56,645 --> 01:31:58,111
Okay? Okay.

2090
01:31:58,113 --> 01:31:59,813
And then we're gonna
go back to fighting

2091
01:31:59,815 --> 01:32:01,081
and we'll pretend
this never happened,

2092
01:32:01,083 --> 01:32:02,148
'cause I feel so awkward.

2093
01:32:17,565 --> 01:32:18,932
<i> I want to see you get crazy!</i>

2094
01:32:24,338 --> 01:32:25,205
Whoo!

2095
01:32:50,898 --> 01:32:52,799
I fucking hate spring break!

2096
01:32:56,003 --> 01:32:57,270
Fuck!

2097
01:32:57,272 --> 01:32:58,171
Ow!

2098
01:33:02,843 --> 01:33:04,344
Are you kidding me?
It's plastic.

2099
01:33:04,346 --> 01:33:05,979
Doesn't even hurt! Okay...

2100
01:33:05,981 --> 01:33:07,080
This isn't the spring
break you imagined?

2101
01:33:08,082 --> 01:33:09,115
How about this? You
want a little fun?

2102
01:33:09,117 --> 01:33:10,216
What is that?

2103
01:33:10,218 --> 01:33:11,518
Get wet, baby!

2104
01:33:11,520 --> 01:33:13,186
So much lube in my face!

2105
01:33:14,422 --> 01:33:15,589
Oh.

2106
01:33:15,591 --> 01:33:17,057
Lube on my face.

2107
01:33:20,161 --> 01:33:22,729
You're so violent!

2108
01:33:22,731 --> 01:33:24,831
Get off me unless
you're gonna fuck me!

2109
01:33:24,833 --> 01:33:26,099
I'm not gonna fuck you!

2110
01:33:26,101 --> 01:33:27,767
Are we gonna fuck?
No, we're not!

2111
01:33:27,769 --> 01:33:29,035
Is that what's happening?

2112
01:33:29,037 --> 01:33:30,637
No! I'm not gonna
fuck you, ever!

2113
01:33:30,639 --> 01:33:32,072
Get off!

2114
01:33:40,548 --> 01:33:41,715
Hey!

2115
01:33:42,483 --> 01:33:43,683
Hey!

2116
01:33:44,920 --> 01:33:46,453
What? What are you gonna do?

2117
01:33:46,455 --> 01:33:48,655
Choke me with your
liver-spotted hands?

2118
01:33:48,657 --> 01:33:50,423
You gonna push me over
with your Walker?

2119
01:33:50,425 --> 01:33:52,025
I'm impressed you
caught up to me.

2120
01:33:52,027 --> 01:33:53,326
You probably haven't
run that fast

2121
01:33:53,328 --> 01:33:54,794
since you played
stickball in the field

2122
01:33:54,796 --> 01:33:56,696
behind old pop
wiggleby's sweet shop.

2123
01:33:57,598 --> 01:33:59,366
Freeze, bitch. Oh, thank God.

2124
01:33:59,368 --> 01:34:01,935
Look who got off the
motherfucking leash.

2125
01:34:01,937 --> 01:34:03,370
- Now who's the damsel in distress?
- Fuck!

2126
01:34:03,372 --> 01:34:05,772
Well, I guess it's him.

2127
01:34:05,774 --> 01:34:06,940
I don't have a clean
shot, schmidt.

2128
01:34:06,942 --> 01:34:08,208
Then don't take the shot!

2129
01:34:08,210 --> 01:34:10,276
Maybe I want to
take a dirty shot.

2130
01:34:10,278 --> 01:34:12,412
Kind of like the dirty shot
you took on my daughter.

2131
01:34:12,414 --> 01:34:15,649
I didn't take a dirty shot
on your daughter, okay?

2132
01:34:15,651 --> 01:34:18,385
We talked a lot, and we
care about each other.

2133
01:34:18,387 --> 01:34:20,053
All the good qualities you have,

2134
01:34:20,055 --> 01:34:21,988
I can feel inside of Maya.

2135
01:34:21,990 --> 01:34:23,223
I'm gonna take the shot.

2136
01:34:23,225 --> 01:34:24,924
Don't take the shot.

2137
01:34:24,926 --> 01:34:26,192
I can shoot right
through your shoulder,

2138
01:34:26,194 --> 01:34:27,794
hit the bitch right
in the chest.

2139
01:34:27,796 --> 01:34:29,629
Don't take the shot.
I'm taking the shot.

2140
01:34:29,631 --> 01:34:30,864
I'll take the fucking shot.

2141
01:34:30,866 --> 01:34:32,465
Nobody take the shot before me.

2142
01:34:32,467 --> 01:34:34,300
How about we take it at
the same time? No one take a shot.

2143
01:34:34,302 --> 01:34:35,902
Wait, wait, wait, wait!

2144
01:34:38,973 --> 01:34:41,041
Shit! You have the right
to remain silent...

2145
01:34:41,043 --> 01:34:42,375
No, no, no, I got this.

2146
01:34:42,377 --> 01:34:44,144
You go handle the ghost.
He's on the roof.

2147
01:34:44,146 --> 01:34:45,712
I'm on it. I got it.

2148
01:34:45,714 --> 01:34:47,814
What you looking at?
Oh!

2149
01:34:47,816 --> 01:34:49,315
Good job on the
cuffs, baby girl.

2150
01:34:57,392 --> 01:34:59,092
So many fucking stairs.

2151
01:35:04,799 --> 01:35:07,067
It's me! It's me! Shit.

2152
01:35:07,069 --> 01:35:08,101
You made it, dude.
Did you get Mercedes?

2153
01:35:08,903 --> 01:35:10,403
Yeah. All by myself.

2154
01:35:10,405 --> 01:35:12,138
Really?

2155
01:35:12,140 --> 01:35:14,741
Mainly by myself. Okay.

2156
01:35:14,743 --> 01:35:16,676
And, dude, you were
right, that lambo...

2157
01:35:16,678 --> 01:35:18,078
Just can't hear that right now.

2158
01:35:18,080 --> 01:35:19,612
It's a shitty-made car.
It's not good.

2159
01:35:19,614 --> 01:35:20,880
Hey, let's go. We got to go.

2160
01:35:20,882 --> 01:35:21,715
How many bullets you got left?

2161
01:35:22,550 --> 01:35:24,350
None.

2162
01:35:24,352 --> 01:35:25,218
Act like you have bullets, then.

2163
01:35:36,697 --> 01:35:38,465
We gotta go!

2164
01:35:38,467 --> 01:35:39,499
We have to wait for pudding!

2165
01:35:46,440 --> 01:35:49,142
Jenko!

2166
01:36:01,122 --> 01:36:02,188
Go, go!

2167
01:36:05,560 --> 01:36:07,227
Here, take this. Okay.

2168
01:36:07,229 --> 01:36:08,328
I tried to take a
bullet for you, man.

2169
01:36:08,330 --> 01:36:09,696
Yeah. But you didn't.

2170
01:36:09,698 --> 01:36:11,731
But I tried. It's the
thought that matters.

2171
01:36:11,733 --> 01:36:12,899
No, it's not the
thought that counts.

2172
01:36:12,901 --> 01:36:14,033
It's fucking taking the bullet.

2173
01:36:18,372 --> 01:36:19,506
Cover me. I'm gonna go long.

2174
01:36:20,141 --> 01:36:21,241
Okay.

2175
01:36:45,332 --> 01:36:48,034
Bye-bye, Terminator!

2176
01:37:01,949 --> 01:37:03,583
Hey! Get off of my chopper!

2177
01:37:04,618 --> 01:37:06,186
Can you shake him off?

2178
01:37:06,188 --> 01:37:08,555
I'm coming for
you, motherfucker!

2179
01:37:08,557 --> 01:37:09,989
Come on, just wiggle
the stick back and forth!

2180
01:37:12,026 --> 01:37:13,459
He's only got one arm!

2181
01:37:13,461 --> 01:37:15,295
I only need one arm to
punch you in the dick.

2182
01:37:16,964 --> 01:37:18,164
Shake him off! Shake him off!

2183
01:37:18,866 --> 01:37:20,366
Don't be a pussy!

2184
01:37:52,366 --> 01:37:53,933
Holy shit!

2185
01:37:53,935 --> 01:37:55,835
I did it!

2186
01:37:55,837 --> 01:37:57,604
I look so fucking badass!

2187
01:37:57,606 --> 01:37:58,705
Oh, my God, you flew!

2188
01:37:58,707 --> 01:37:59,772
This is crazy!

2189
01:37:59,774 --> 01:38:00,974
You made the leap, man!

2190
01:38:00,976 --> 01:38:02,342
Why'd you do that?

2191
01:38:02,344 --> 01:38:04,010
'Cause you did it!

2192
01:38:04,012 --> 01:38:05,411
I couldn't leave
you hanging, man!

2193
01:38:05,413 --> 01:38:06,746
What are you talking about?
I was fine. I had it.

2194
01:38:06,748 --> 01:38:07,580
You weren't...

2195
01:38:15,090 --> 01:38:17,023
I got you! Shit! Schmidt!

2196
01:38:17,025 --> 01:38:18,191
I got you!

2197
01:38:18,193 --> 01:38:19,392
You saved my life!

2198
01:38:31,639 --> 01:38:33,907
I just realized something.

2199
01:38:33,909 --> 01:38:35,842
You don't hold me down, man.

2200
01:38:35,844 --> 01:38:37,076
You lift me up.

2201
01:38:37,078 --> 01:38:39,579
Literally and figuratively.

2202
01:38:39,581 --> 01:38:40,580
Yeah, I know. I meant both.

2203
01:38:41,482 --> 01:38:43,349
You don't drag me
down, either, man.

2204
01:38:43,351 --> 01:38:44,984
I mean, except right now.

2205
01:38:44,986 --> 01:38:47,420
You're dragging me down.
You're really heavy.

2206
01:38:47,422 --> 01:38:49,455
Hey, listen, there's a
grenade in my shorts.

2207
01:38:49,457 --> 01:38:50,690
Can you reach it?

2208
01:38:50,692 --> 01:38:52,358
You gotta go in from underneath.

2209
01:38:52,360 --> 01:38:53,459
Oh, shit!

2210
01:38:57,064 --> 01:38:58,498
Is that it? That's my dick.

2211
01:38:58,500 --> 01:38:59,699
What about that?

2212
01:38:59,701 --> 01:39:00,433
That's my dick also.

2213
01:39:02,504 --> 01:39:04,337
Why is it hard?

2214
01:39:04,339 --> 01:39:06,406
I have so much
adrenaline right now!

2215
01:39:06,408 --> 01:39:08,141
Is that it?
You're tickling me.

2216
01:39:08,143 --> 01:39:09,409
I can't find it!

2217
01:39:09,411 --> 01:39:10,276
That's it! Grab it!

2218
01:39:12,046 --> 01:39:13,212
Yes!

2219
01:39:13,214 --> 01:39:14,914
No, I got it in my mouth.

2220
01:39:14,916 --> 01:39:16,215
Say something cool
when you throw it!

2221
01:39:16,217 --> 01:39:18,184
One, two, three!

2222
01:39:20,054 --> 01:39:22,221
Something cool!

2223
01:39:27,628 --> 01:39:28,428
They're gone!

2224
01:39:29,930 --> 01:39:31,564
Oh, I feel so...

2225
01:39:37,871 --> 01:39:39,138
Whoo-hoo!

2226
01:40:06,567 --> 01:40:07,867
We did it!

2227
01:40:07,869 --> 01:40:09,035
Dude, fuck, I'm... ow!

2228
01:40:09,037 --> 01:40:11,070
Oh! Shit, sorry.

2229
01:40:11,072 --> 01:40:12,405
Dude, I miss you so much, man.

2230
01:40:12,407 --> 01:40:13,906
I miss you, too.

2231
01:40:13,908 --> 01:40:15,808
You were like a tiny
little flower seed

2232
01:40:15,810 --> 01:40:18,411
and I was clenching
you in my fist.

2233
01:40:18,413 --> 01:40:20,880
But a flower, it can't
grow in a fist.

2234
01:40:20,882 --> 01:40:24,217
A little seed needs to fly
away free and find its soil.

2235
01:40:24,219 --> 01:40:27,253
Yeah, I know. I tried to soil
myself and, dude, I didn't like it.

2236
01:40:27,255 --> 01:40:29,489
I wanted a relationship
without friction.

2237
01:40:29,491 --> 01:40:31,591
Dude, you need friction
to create fire.

2238
01:40:31,593 --> 01:40:34,360
And that's what we
have, we have fire.

2239
01:40:34,362 --> 01:40:36,596
Dude, I'm in. I'm all in.

2240
01:40:36,598 --> 01:40:38,097
Thank God.

2241
01:40:38,099 --> 01:40:40,933
Dude, this is what I've always wanted.
Just me and you, buddy.

2242
01:40:40,935 --> 01:40:42,335
I love you.

2243
01:40:42,337 --> 01:40:43,703
Me, too, man. I love you, man.

2244
01:40:46,640 --> 01:40:48,441
You know what?

2245
01:40:48,443 --> 01:40:49,575
That's who he should
be with, man.

2246
01:40:51,478 --> 01:40:53,746
What?

2247
01:40:53,748 --> 01:40:55,715
Hey, what'd you say when you
threw the grenade up there?

2248
01:40:55,717 --> 01:40:56,883
I said,
"something cool."

2249
01:40:56,885 --> 01:40:58,384
What did you say?

2250
01:40:58,386 --> 01:41:00,153
It was "something cool."
No, but what'd you say?

2251
01:41:00,155 --> 01:41:01,421
Yeah, I know. I said,
"something cool."

2252
01:41:04,491 --> 01:41:07,226
I didn't expect spring
break to be this stinky.

2253
01:41:07,228 --> 01:41:09,362
It's pretty gross.

2254
01:41:09,364 --> 01:41:12,065
Man, we're getting too
old for this shit.

2255
01:41:12,067 --> 01:41:14,667
We started off too
old for this shit.

2256
01:41:14,669 --> 01:41:16,669
You ain't
lying about that.

2257
01:41:19,273 --> 01:41:23,176
Dude, we're even about the
arm thing, okay? Right?

2258
01:41:23,178 --> 01:41:24,277
What? What do you want to do?

2259
01:41:24,279 --> 01:41:25,545
Don't move. Fuck. All right.

2260
01:41:25,547 --> 01:41:27,346
Just get it over with, all right?
Don't move.

2261
01:41:27,348 --> 01:41:28,781
One... Just graze my arm.

2262
01:41:28,783 --> 01:41:30,416
I don't want you to hit the bone.
...Two,

2263
01:41:30,418 --> 01:41:32,151
three.

2264
01:41:32,153 --> 01:41:34,120
Fuck! Fuck! Shit!

2265
01:41:34,122 --> 01:41:35,688
Oh, my God, are you all right?
Shit!

2266
01:41:35,690 --> 01:41:37,723
Why, man? Why am I always
getting hurt around you?

2267
01:41:37,725 --> 01:41:38,825
- Jenko, what are you doing?
- Oh, fuck you.

2268
01:41:38,827 --> 01:41:40,693
Fuck you, schmidt.
Stop dicking around.

2269
01:41:40,695 --> 01:41:42,962
Hey, cap.
Congratulations, you two.

2270
01:41:42,964 --> 01:41:45,731
You managed to un-fuck up the
situation you originally fucked up.

2271
01:41:45,733 --> 01:41:47,233
Thanks.

2272
01:41:47,235 --> 01:41:48,601
I wish you can
un-fuck my daughter,

2273
01:41:48,603 --> 01:41:50,470
but I'm gonna let
that be the past.

2274
01:41:50,472 --> 01:41:52,939
Now, for your next mission,

2275
01:41:52,941 --> 01:41:56,008
you two sons of bitches are
going to medical school.

2276
01:41:56,010 --> 01:41:57,477
What?

2277
01:42:07,588 --> 01:42:09,755
This time, foreign
exchange students.

2278
01:42:09,757 --> 01:42:10,823
Awesome. Yes!

2279
01:42:10,825 --> 01:42:11,691
In Russia.

2280
01:42:12,192 --> 01:42:13,226
What?

2281
01:42:15,129 --> 01:42:16,229
<i> Do svidanya.</i>

2282
01:42:16,231 --> 01:42:17,497
Vodka soda.

2283
01:42:22,736 --> 01:42:25,238
Next assignment. A
semester at sea.

2284
01:42:38,185 --> 01:42:41,487
You two sons of bitches are
going to culinary school.

2285
01:42:41,489 --> 01:42:42,822
There's a microchip
in this empanada.

2286
01:42:42,824 --> 01:42:44,857
Old family recipe.

2287
01:42:44,859 --> 01:42:46,225
Best to keep it a secret.

2288
01:42:48,428 --> 01:42:49,862
Oh, shit!

2289
01:43:00,174 --> 01:43:01,841
New assignment...

2290
01:43:01,843 --> 01:43:03,376
Cap, does schmidt look
any different to you?

2291
01:43:04,077 --> 01:43:05,778
No. That's schmidt.

2292
01:43:05,780 --> 01:43:07,280
I don't know what you're
talking about, man.

2293
01:43:07,282 --> 01:43:08,381
He look exactly the same to me.

2294
01:43:08,383 --> 01:43:09,949
I got new glasses.

2295
01:43:09,951 --> 01:43:12,618
Yeah, man, he just got some
new glasses, man. God damn.

2296
01:43:12,620 --> 01:43:13,653
No one's
gonna fucking notice.

2297
01:43:16,089 --> 01:43:17,523
Let's do this, schmidt.

2298
01:43:17,525 --> 01:43:20,526
Yeah. Just like we
always do, Jenkins.

2299
01:43:20,528 --> 01:43:22,261
It's jenko. Sorry.

2300
01:43:30,537 --> 01:43:33,005
I'm really, really glad
you're back, schmidt.

2301
01:43:33,007 --> 01:43:34,740
What are you talking about?
What contract dispute?

2302
01:43:34,742 --> 01:43:36,876
I've been here the whole time.

2303
01:43:36,878 --> 01:43:37,877
Man, shut the fuck up.

2304
01:43:37,879 --> 01:43:39,445
How about a flight academy?

2305
01:43:50,557 --> 01:43:53,793
Undercover just got
a whole lot sexier.

2306
01:44:02,536 --> 01:44:03,836
You're jump street, right?

2307
01:44:03,838 --> 01:44:05,004
Yeah. How the fuck
do you know that?

2308
01:44:05,572 --> 01:44:07,106
I'm booker.

2309
01:44:07,108 --> 01:44:08,608
Oh, shit. Man, you're a legend.

2310
01:44:15,082 --> 01:44:15,848
Traffic school!

2311
01:44:16,817 --> 01:44:17,850
Military school.

2312
01:44:18,852 --> 01:44:19,752
Scuba class.

2313
01:44:20,754 --> 01:44:21,787
Dance academy.

2314
01:44:21,789 --> 01:44:23,256
Yes.

2315
01:44:23,258 --> 01:44:26,325
Finally something
I'm amazing at.

2316
01:44:26,327 --> 01:44:29,328
<i> ¶ Your friends'll be there
when your back is to the wall</i>

2317
01:44:30,163 --> 01:44:31,497
<i> ¶ you'll find you need us</i>

2318
01:44:31,499 --> 01:44:33,566
<i> ¶ 'cause there's
no one else to call</i>

2319
01:44:33,568 --> 01:44:36,636
<i> You sons of bitches
is gonna be in a video game.</i>

2320
01:44:37,904 --> 01:44:39,105
<i> Let's blow shit up.</i>

2321
01:44:39,107 --> 01:44:40,740
<i> Jump street style.</i>

2322
01:44:40,742 --> 01:44:42,508
<i> ¶ We out of control
all over the place</i>

2323
01:44:42,510 --> 01:44:44,510
<i> ¶ and somebody gotta
put it to a stop, quick</i>

2324
01:44:44,512 --> 01:44:46,512
<i> ¶ out on the road
all up in your face</i>

2325
01:44:46,514 --> 01:44:49,382
<i> Get ready for a lifetime
of being badass motherfuckers.</i>

2326
01:44:49,384 --> 01:44:52,018
<i> It's
inking in my mouth!</i>

2327
01:44:52,020 --> 01:44:52,852
<i> Don't
fuck my daughter.</i>

2328
01:44:54,688 --> 01:44:55,521
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

2329
01:44:59,494 --> 01:45:02,662
<i> ¶ They're the jump street and
'bout to jump up in your ass</i>

2330
01:45:02,664 --> 01:45:05,965
<i> ¶ this the special unit that's
designed to keep it quiet</i>

2331
01:45:05,967 --> 01:45:09,969
<i> ¶ we infiltrate the dealers
and we find the damn suppliers</i>

2332
01:45:09,971 --> 01:45:13,205
<i> ¶ don't need permission
to decide what you believe</i>

2333
01:45:13,207 --> 01:45:16,042
<i> ¶ say jump, jumping
down on jump street</i>

2334
01:45:16,044 --> 01:45:17,610
all right, new assignment.

2335
01:45:18,178 --> 01:45:19,779
Six hours of makeup?

2336
01:45:20,947 --> 01:45:22,348
We're getting too
old for this shit.

2337
01:45:22,350 --> 01:45:23,316
Nice.

2338
01:45:23,817 --> 01:45:25,284
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

2339
01:45:25,286 --> 01:45:26,652
<i> ¶ wait, we just here
trying to find us</i>

2340
01:45:26,654 --> 01:45:28,354
<i> ¶ schmidt went lookin',
till he found love</i>

2341
01:45:28,356 --> 01:45:30,222
<i> ¶ got his life
sweet, bon appetit</i>

2342
01:45:30,224 --> 01:45:31,924
<i> ¶ spring break, bitch,
throw a party on the beach</i>

2343
01:45:31,926 --> 01:45:33,693
<i> ¶ shit did change,
but all that means</i>

2344
01:45:33,695 --> 01:45:34,994
<i> ¶ is that your real
friends don't ever leave</i>

2345
01:45:35,796 --> 01:45:37,396
<i> ¶ will it ever be complete?</i>

2346
01:45:37,398 --> 01:45:38,998
<i> ¶ Jump street won't ever cease</i>

2347
01:45:39,000 --> 01:45:40,800
<i> ¶ ever cease ever cease</i>

2348
01:45:40,802 --> 01:45:42,668
<i> ¶ ever cease ever cease</i>

2349
01:45:42,670 --> 01:45:44,470
<i> ¶ ever cease ever cease</i>

2350
01:45:44,472 --> 01:45:45,971
<i> ¶ ever cease ever cease</i>

2351
01:45:45,973 --> 01:45:47,807
<i> ¶ ever cease ever cease</i>

2352
01:45:47,809 --> 01:45:49,008
<i> ¶ ever cease ever cease ¶</i>

2353
01:45:52,646 --> 01:45:54,447
<i> Something cool!</i>

2354
01:46:02,756 --> 01:46:04,523
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

2355
01:46:04,525 --> 01:46:07,360
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2356
01:46:10,597 --> 01:46:13,799
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2357
01:46:13,801 --> 01:46:16,635
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for
we're gonna live for</i>

2358
01:46:16,637 --> 01:46:19,638
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for
we're gonna live for</i>

2359
01:46:19,640 --> 01:46:22,108
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for
we're gonna live for</i>

2360
01:46:25,746 --> 01:46:29,982
<i> ¶ yeah, me and my
homie this is aye</i>

2361
01:46:29,984 --> 01:46:32,985
<i> ¶ and it's going down
like a fire drill</i>

2362
01:46:32,987 --> 01:46:35,988
<i> ¶ came a long way,
now we part here</i>

2363
01:46:35,990 --> 01:46:38,791
<i> ¶ and we still running
shit, call it diarrhea</i>

2364
01:46:38,793 --> 01:46:40,526
<i> ¶ coming up together
like them good fellas</i>

2365
01:46:40,528 --> 01:46:41,827
<i> ¶ heart through the loop</i>

2366
01:46:41,829 --> 01:46:43,562
<i> ¶ holding down, keep it
real in these streets</i>

2367
01:46:43,564 --> 01:46:45,030
<i> ¶ back to the roof</i>

2368
01:46:45,032 --> 01:46:47,800
<i> ¶ anywhere, anytime I got
your back like a spine</i>

2369
01:46:47,802 --> 01:46:51,070
<i> ¶ my homies never left behind
my whole team get to shine</i>

2370
01:46:51,072 --> 01:46:54,039
<i> ¶ the world has opened up
that's why we're blowing up</i>

2371
01:46:54,041 --> 01:46:56,976
<i> ¶ that's why we rolling up
drinking till we throw up</i>

2372
01:46:56,978 --> 01:47:00,112
<i> ¶ the way we get this cheddar,
there ain't nobody better</i>

2373
01:47:00,114 --> 01:47:03,382
<i> ¶ write our names in the sky
'cause we gonna live forever</i>

2374
01:47:03,384 --> 01:47:04,817
<i> ¶ live forever, man</i>

2375
01:47:04,819 --> 01:47:07,686
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2376
01:47:10,791 --> 01:47:14,493
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2377
01:47:14,495 --> 01:47:16,962
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for
we're gonna live for</i>

2378
01:47:16,964 --> 01:47:19,965
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for
we're gonna live for</i>

2379
01:47:19,967 --> 01:47:22,568
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for
we're gonna live for</i>

2380
01:47:27,374 --> 01:47:30,509
<i> ¶ life of the party,
patron and bacardi</i>

2381
01:47:30,511 --> 01:47:33,078
<i> ¶ get faded, get sloppy, and
all up in that chick's body</i>

2382
01:47:33,080 --> 01:47:34,780
<i> ¶ came up with the
people that's real</i>

2383
01:47:34,782 --> 01:47:36,015
<i> ¶ ticket to the meal</i>

2384
01:47:36,017 --> 01:47:37,683
<i> ¶ now like it, we all together</i>

2385
01:47:37,685 --> 01:47:39,218
<i> ¶ that's just how it is</i>

2386
01:47:39,220 --> 01:47:40,920
<i> ¶ I'm throwed like a strike out</i>

2387
01:47:40,922 --> 01:47:42,254
<i> ¶ shine brighter
than a lighthouse</i>

2388
01:47:42,256 --> 01:47:43,656
<i> ¶ bigger than the white house</i>

2389
01:47:43,658 --> 01:47:45,157
<i> ¶ go against my
team, get wiped out</i>

2390
01:47:45,159 --> 01:47:46,559
<i> ¶ got them choppers
like troopers</i>

2391
01:47:46,561 --> 01:47:48,260
<i> ¶ don't make me split your head</i>

2392
01:47:48,262 --> 01:47:50,930
<i> ¶ my lil' homie left up here,
he'll smoke ya like a cig</i>

2393
01:47:52,966 --> 01:47:55,835
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2394
01:47:59,039 --> 01:48:02,541
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2395
01:48:02,543 --> 01:48:05,177
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for
we're gonna live for</i>

2396
01:48:05,179 --> 01:48:08,147
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for
we're gonna live for</i>

2397
01:48:08,149 --> 01:48:10,850
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for
we're gonna live for</i>

2398
01:48:41,481 --> 01:48:44,550
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2399
01:48:47,454 --> 01:48:50,623
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2400
01:48:50,625 --> 01:48:53,659
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for
we're gonna live for</i>

2401
01:48:53,661 --> 01:48:56,462
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for
we're gonna live for</i>

2402
01:48:56,464 --> 01:48:58,998
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2403
01:49:02,536 --> 01:49:06,205
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2404
01:49:06,207 --> 01:49:07,573
<i> ¶ yeah</i>

2405
01:49:09,342 --> 01:49:10,242
<i> ¶ forever ¶</i>

2406
01:51:37,557 --> 01:51:38,724
Eric.

2407
01:51:40,026 --> 01:51:41,760
Eric, are you awake?

2408
01:51:43,196 --> 01:51:44,129
No.

2409
01:51:45,331 --> 01:51:46,331
I'm late.

2410
01:51:46,355 --> 01:53:46,355
<i><b>♪ Hope it helped -> bozxphd ♪</b></i>