1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,200 MUSIC: Buddy by De La Soul 2 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,000 Uh. Uh. Uh. 3 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,200 Hah! 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,960 And...back to me. 5 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,200 Huh! 6 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,320 Oof! Aah. 7 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,160 SCHOOL BELL RINGS 8 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:24,840 THEY PANT 9 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:27,040 HOBURN'S VOICE: Slow down! Stop running! 10 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,240 Oi! You heard her. 11 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:30,840 Eugh. 12 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:32,320 Good girl. 13 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,440 Hello, Mother. 14 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,160 WHISPERS: Ssh! Do not call me that! 15 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:38,840 Come here, Chloreen. 16 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,920 You mean I have your permission to call you Mummy? 17 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:45,160 God, no! I don't want anyone to know that I've employed someone 18 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,480 who's passed through my reproductive tract. 19 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:50,640 They'll think I'm siphoning off school funds to pay for my family. 20 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,440 I was so happy when you unblocked me. 21 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,840 It's a dream come true. 22 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,760 I've always wanted to be an art teacher. 23 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,200 SHE SIGHS That was always your fatal flaw. 24 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:02,200 I fired our last art teacher because he asked me what star sign I was. 25 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,400 WHISPERS: Gemini. 26 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,760 You can't have that kind of man around kids. 27 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:09,920 But it freed up cash for me to splurge on my Ho-Dolls. 28 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,200 HOBURN'S VOICE: I am the law. 29 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,800 Sadly, the PTA is riddled with cranks and socialists, 30 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,840 and they want art back on the syllabus. 31 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,520 And, to be frank, you were cheap. 32 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,600 Well, I'm grateful that my teachers equipped me 33 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,080 with the creative tools to process my trauma. 34 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,520 Oh, not this again, Chloreen! 35 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,200 How could I have caused you trauma? I barely even saw you. 36 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,880 Yes, I was at boarding school aged six. 37 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,520 Look, I admit I got that one wrong. 38 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,440 I sent you away far, far too late. 39 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,240 But I did save you from that cult. 40 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,280 It was an improv group. 41 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,280 SHE SIGHS 42 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,520 SHE TUTS 43 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,520 Even worse. Yes, and... 44 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,960 Look, a member of staff has just told me 45 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,840 there could be asbestos in the school walls. 46 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:47,320 Now, if Fraser is right, the parents will have me over a barrel. 47 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:54,000 So, for now, please keep our relationship unseen and unheard. 48 00:01:55,759 --> 00:01:56,800 Oh... 49 00:01:58,039 --> 00:01:59,080 Excellent. 50 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,760 Pu-ssio! 51 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,880 Ah... Cut! 52 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,880 LAUGHTER 53 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,600 We're meant to be breaking the internet. 54 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,480 But right now, all that's breaking is my will to live. 55 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,160 If I'm going to get these brand deals, 56 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,640 I need at least 10K followers. 57 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,880 Only 9,990 to go. 58 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,040 Ugh, says the Degrassi Drake. 59 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,400 Brands are begging you to stop wearing their clothes. 60 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,280 Nike's like, "Just don't." 61 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,640 According to my research, the best ways to make a video 62 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:06,400 go viral are by filming something funny... 63 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,600 Mm-hm-hm-hm-hm. 64 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,640 BOTH: Next. 65 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:12,120 ..something sexy... AMERICAN ACCENT: Hey, come on, now. 66 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:13,320 BOTH: Next. 67 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,480 ..or filming something scary. 68 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,560 I can help with that! 69 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,560 HE SCREAMS 70 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,360 Sir, why are dressed like the Bride of Frankincense? 71 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,240 Because it's about time we start 72 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,360 taking the great works of theatre seriously. 73 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,320 Hmm? That's why I give you... 74 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:30,640 ..The Woman In Black. 75 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:33,000 Oh, my God, are we going to study an actual play? 76 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,680 Huh?! No! I sent you the link to the movie. 77 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:39,079 Inchez didn't watch it. He was too much of a PUSSIO. 78 00:03:39,079 --> 00:03:41,440 Look, galdem in a dress don't scare me, yeah? 79 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,280 SHE BLOWS 80 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,280 Aghhhh! Oh, man. 81 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,800 WHIRRING 82 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,800 Ooh! 83 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,600 Scusies! What IS that? 84 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,960 Ooh! They better be putting up my blue plaque. 85 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,079 I'm afraid not, sir. They misspelled "triple" - 86 00:03:56,079 --> 00:03:57,640 AND "threat". 87 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,160 HE SIGHS 88 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,160 Warren, details! 89 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,320 I can't read! 90 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,120 MACHINERY WHIRS Oi! You're having a laugh, ain't ya? 91 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,160 Oi! 92 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:11,400 Oh. How the hell is a hardworking teacher meant to get any kip 93 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,400 with that racket?! What? 94 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,760 What are they doing?! 95 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,200 SHOUTS: Keep it to yourself, 96 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,399 but the walls may or may not... 97 00:04:18,399 --> 00:04:20,279 WHIRRING STOPS 98 00:04:18,399 --> 00:04:20,279 ..contain asbestos! 99 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:22,240 BUILDER: Asbestos? Right, well, I don't think 100 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,360 you're meant to drill asbestos, love. Well, they know that, LOVE. 101 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,240 Fraser's attempting to banter with them, 102 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,840 but they just keep drowning him out. 103 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:32,280 I've got to say, lads, it is so refreshing to see you 104 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:36,560 actually working, even at a snail's pace, 105 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:40,280 rather than intimidating and harassing teenage girls 106 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,440 from your van. 107 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:45,320 Fancy a cup of tea? I can't hear myself think! 108 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:46,840 Any sugar? 109 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:50,360 Don't worry. I understand. 110 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,000 BUILDER: Oh, cheers. 111 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,880 WHIRRING STOPS 112 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,880 Oh, thank goodness for that. 113 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,880 I'm glad you're both here. 114 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,280 The builders have found something in the walls. 115 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,320 Can you explain this? 116 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,960 BOTH: The time capsule! 117 00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:09,000 Ooh, um, we made it - with Mr Wickers. 118 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,720 We all just put something important-ish in there. 119 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:15,520 Yeah, but it weren't meant to be opened for, like, another 50 years. 120 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,640 Oh, well. No time like the present. 121 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,560 No! No! No! 122 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:22,640 You gentlemen wouldn't have any particular reason to keep it shut? 123 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,440 I don't. Do you? No, no, no, no. 124 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,720 No, no, no, I don't mind. No, I'm no bothered. No. 125 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,080 I mean, open it, but don't. 126 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,000 Oh, well, let's leave it, then. 127 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,080 Until tomorrow's assembly. 128 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:36,080 Give it the unveiling it truly deserves. 129 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,960 Yeah, whatever. 130 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,960 STEPHEN CHUCKLES 131 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,960 The past... Agh! ..contains many secrets, 132 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,840 but some secrets refuse to stay buried. 133 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,040 OK... 134 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:50,640 BOTH: Agh! 135 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:54,560 STAMMERING: Sorry, my love, are you new here? 136 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,280 Yes, although my flesh and blood have walked these halls before. 137 00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:59,360 Hmm. 138 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,840 Agh! Oh! Bloody hell! 139 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,160 She's the new art teacher. 140 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,440 Right, well that explains why she's talking bollocks. 141 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:10,000 SHE CHUCKLES 142 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:10,000 I'm Fraser. I love art. 143 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,440 Who's your favourite artist? 144 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,480 Turner. Simply the best. 145 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,680 HE SCOFFS 146 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,680 She means the painter. 147 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,280 ALL: Ugh! 148 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:19,040 Spooky. Oops! 149 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,720 Erm... I'm done here. Yeah, no... See you later. 150 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,760 I've got loads of stuff to be getting on with. 151 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,640 Where, oh, where did she go? 152 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,800 HE SNIFFS 153 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,600 HO-DOLL: Get back to work! 154 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,840 FIRE ALARM CHIMES 155 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:40,840 PANICKED CHATTER 156 00:06:47,159 --> 00:06:49,880 I'm putting together a crew for a little score tonight. 157 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,680 Are you in? What's the...? Are you in or out? 158 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,520 You need to tell me cos I can't see ya. 159 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,080 GIRL GASPS Come with me if you want to live! 160 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,520 Actually, I'll just take Usma, Warren and Jinx. Thank you. 161 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:04,560 Today! 162 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,160 So, you put something in the time capsule, 163 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,840 but Mr Carmichael ain't going to like it? 164 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,640 Mm-hm, but I can't remember what. 165 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,680 Sir, just try and remember. 166 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,240 I... I know he had a Weston 167 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,320 cos he lost his ticket to The Pussycat Dolls. 168 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,560 Oh, sir, he's going to kill you. 169 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,560 No, I'm 90% sure I didn't put the ticket in the time capsule. 170 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,440 80%. 171 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,760 50/50. 172 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,760 THEY SIGH 173 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:36,320 Sir, I'm trying to find a way into the school so we can steal that 174 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:40,520 time capsule, but I can't do that if you keep blocking my line of sight. 175 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,080 Gurl, I know how to break into the school. 176 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:47,000 First, I will tour en l'air to avoid the security cameras. 177 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,560 Then, I will grand jete onto the overhang of that ledge, 178 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,280 allowing me to arabesque my way through the window 179 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,080 and open the door to you civilians. 180 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,960 I'm going to lob a brick through this window here. 181 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,800 And if we get caught by the police, do you know who to call? 182 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,640 You want a lawyer? I want a stylist. 183 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,320 I have to look cute in my mugshot. 184 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,320 But, sir, are you really sure it's worth the risk? 185 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,160 Yes! If anyone gets to that time capsule before me, 186 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,720 I will never be able to show my face in this school again. Hmm? 187 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,080 Now, come on! 188 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,960 CHATTERING SCHOOL BELL RINGS 189 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,280 So, you haven't managed to find the asbestos? 190 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,480 HO-DOLL: Slow down! Stop running! 191 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,840 Here I am. I am so sorry I missed your call, Mu... Ms Hoburn. 192 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,800 Pish! Now, look, these holes in the walls. 193 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,000 I would rather not have to explain them to the parents, 194 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:53,560 so could your "art degree" finally come in handy? Yes. 195 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,320 I could create a promenade piece. 196 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,320 A labyrinthine journey through one lonely girl's troubled... 197 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,760 Ssh! Remember the family motto, Chloreen. 198 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:04,160 Sepelire Dolor Penitus. 199 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,480 Push the pain...deep, deep down. 200 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,480 Deep, deep down and keep on pushing, 201 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,160 as I always say. 202 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,600 Now, chop chop! 203 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:15,920 Ergh! 204 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:19,320 No, you can run, you can run. 205 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,040 Keep running. HO-DOLL: Slow down! 206 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,040 Oh, morning, Mr Seaman. Stop running! 207 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:31,480 "The Woman In Black is a 1987 stage play, 208 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,160 "citation needed." 209 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,880 Ah! OK, which one of you Hailey Bieber-stanning beasts 210 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,240 stole my pashmina? 211 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,360 Yeah, anyone else bare cold? Mm! 212 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,760 Things have been going missing everywhere, man. 213 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,800 Even the toilet roll in the boy's bathroom. 214 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,520 Actually, that's just Mr Harper. 215 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,440 The staff toilets simply cannot accommodate his... 216 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,720 ..um, needs. 217 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,720 SHE CLEARS THROAT 218 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,120 How do you know that? 219 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:57,160 Well, I'm a passionate advocate for open conversations about gut health. 220 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,640 Just not THAT open with him. 221 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,520 Well, I'm not going to stay here and freeze to death. 222 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,440 Warren, make sure they finish the movie. 223 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,520 I have arrangements to make for tonight. 224 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,040 You know I saw this most haunted vid on TikTok, yeah? 225 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:17,080 They were walking around this building, it was freezing cold, 226 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,360 and then BAM! 227 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,360 THEY SHRIEK 228 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,800 A ghost was standing right there. 229 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,600 I find the supernatural deeply problematic. 230 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,040 I mean, why are all the ghosts white? 231 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:30,080 See? It's just bad vibes! 232 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,120 THEY GASP 233 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,760 Huh? 234 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:35,800 Spirit. Spectre. 235 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:35,800 THEY GASP 236 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,520 Wraith. Revenant. 237 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,320 The Japanese call them "obake". 238 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:43,000 In Arabic, they're "shabah". BUBBLES GURGLE 239 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,800 But this unhappy soul, oh, it goes by another name. 240 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,800 The Ghost of Abbey Grove. 241 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,800 Oh, my God. 242 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,800 HE COUGHS 243 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,880 Sorry. Secondary bubbles. 244 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,960 SCHOOL BELL RINGS 245 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,400 Oi! 246 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,720 Ah! Come here. It's home time. 247 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,720 Shouldn't you be at the bookie's? 248 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,760 Here, have you seen what this new art teacher's been up to? 249 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,600 Ooh, yikes. 250 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,000 It's always the quiet ones, yeah. 251 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,920 Yo! 252 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,840 Queen Ladifah and Laddy McGuinness. 253 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,880 No. Fancy a brewski tonight? 254 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,080 I'm busy tonight. I've got some marking to do. 255 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,120 Yeah, I'm marking as well. 256 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,120 I was literally just going home. 257 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,120 FRASER GURGLES 258 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,160 Toodles. See ya. 259 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,680 I did invite the builders, but Google's letting me down. 260 00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:35,240 Have you heard of a pub called Over My Dead Body? 261 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:36,400 Ah, on the topic of death, 262 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,480 you want to be careful of that new art teacher. 263 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,640 Look, she's off her nut. 264 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,000 Hmm. 265 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,000 HE SNIFFS 266 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,680 She's using roadkill in her art. 267 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:48,360 You know, I am not threatened by a powerful woman, 268 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,240 and I finally found one who isn't threatened by me. 269 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,960 But isn't the fact that she's into you, like, a huge red flag? 270 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,080 No shade. Yeah. Barely any taken. 271 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,800 Chloreen is a wonderful woman. 272 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,000 I've got a fifth sense about these things. 273 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,040 FIFTH sense? Well, I haven't tasted anything in years. 274 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,000 I'm on 40 a day. Cigarettes?! 275 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,200 Scotch bonnets. 276 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,680 I messed up my Ocado. 277 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:10,440 I have stuck to my zero-food-waste policy, 278 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,440 but the environmental benefits are seriously undermined 279 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:17,640 by the frankly terrifying amount of methane being omitted from my body. 280 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:18,960 Nice. 281 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,200 I basically fracked myself. 282 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,480 Gentlemen, don't you have homes to go to? 283 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:25,960 The janitor wants to lock up. 284 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:29,080 Ms Hoburn, what exactly is going on with this new art teacher? 285 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,520 What are you talking about? 286 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,200 The Luna Lovegood wannabe that we met earlier? 287 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:34,680 Yeah, she is horrendous. 288 00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:37,320 Awful. She's like if Latitude Festival come to life. 289 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,800 I have no idea who this person is. SHE CHUCKLES 290 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,520 I mean, seriously, look at the walls. 291 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,320 It's called art! 292 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:48,560 And for the last time, 293 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,600 I don't appreciate being grilled about someone I've never even met. 294 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,400 I mean, I doubt this women even exists. 295 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:55,560 Good day. 296 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:56,720 All right. 297 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,400 THEY GROAN 298 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,400 See you in the morning. 299 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,600 Well, night-night. 300 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,240 Them ghostbuster guys on TikTok were right. 301 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,720 Ghosts reek. 302 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,640 Again, that could just be Mr Harper. 303 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,680 All I'm saying is, if we can prove that she's an actual ghost, 304 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,640 there's no way it's not going to go viral. 305 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,760 Too bad you're never going to find an actual ghost. 306 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,800 Ooh! Ahh! 307 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,800 WOMAN HARMONISES 308 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,240 HE PANTS 309 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,240 Want to bet? Come. 310 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,840 SHE HARMONISES 311 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,040 WHISPERS: Night-night. 312 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,040 Bye-bye, Teddy. 313 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:37,640 # Mm, Mr Teddy, Mr Crow... # 314 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,440 HE GASPS 315 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,440 It's her! The art teacher. 316 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,960 She's the... The floating woman. 317 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,840 A lost soul trapped in a state of limbo 318 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,320 between this life and the next. 319 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,560 What do this floating woman want? 320 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,600 The approval of a cold and venal mother 321 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,080 incapable of understanding her own daughter. 322 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,120 I think someone's feeling seen. 323 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,800 Let's follow it! 324 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:12,800 MUSIC: Cannonball by Tune-Yards 325 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,000 MUSIC STOPS 326 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,280 MUSIC RESUMES 327 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,280 Ha-ha-haaa! 328 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,000 MUSIC STOPS 329 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,640 MUSIC RESUMES 330 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:28,800 Love... 331 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:31,800 ..Mummy. 332 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,360 If you took those wheelies from a pupil's locker, Chloreen, 333 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,120 I suggest you put them back immediately. 334 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,000 But you always taught me to prey on the weak. 335 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,720 Especially children. Look, just shut the door, stand in the corner 336 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:41,800 and face the wall. 337 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,200 Ssh! Ssh! Ssh! Ssh! 338 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,800 Ssh! Guys, ssh! 339 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,280 Warren! 340 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,120 She's just standing in the corner of the room. 341 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:04,040 ALL SHRIEK 342 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,520 What's going on out here? 343 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,680 Miss, that woman in your office, she's not who she says she is. 344 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:11,760 What woman? I don't know who you're talking about. 345 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,880 See? There's no-one here. 346 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,640 No-one! 347 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,040 UNDER BREATH: What?! 348 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,320 ALL SHUDDER 349 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,360 She's been possessed. 350 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,280 Run, you fools! 351 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,400 Mother, may I ask why you pushed my head under the desk? 352 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,200 Always push it down, Chloreen. 353 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,560 Deep, deep down. 354 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:45,560 OWL HOOTS DOG BARKS 355 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,640 USMA: I don't care if Sir needs our help. 356 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:51,560 The demon artsy chat is so powerful, it made Hoburn smile. 357 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,400 Oh, that's why I'm wearing protection. 358 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,200 Why is it so bling? 359 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,120 It's a Sunday School status symbol. 360 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,520 Ooh, such a bad boy. 361 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,200 Well, I certainly brought in the biscuits, if you know what I mean. 362 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,880 You mean you literally brought in biscuits, don't you? 363 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,160 Where's Mr Carmichael? 364 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,200 Rargh! 365 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,200 THEY SCREAM 366 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,240 Keep your voices down! 367 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,880 This is a serious mission to get to the time capsule. 368 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,400 So serious you wore a leather catsuit?! 369 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,760 It's the perfect ensemble for a heist. 370 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,600 Sleek, sultry, streamline. 371 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:23,240 And the tail? It's for balance. 372 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:27,040 Now, if you're quite finished, we need to find that time capsule. 373 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,960 Let the break-in commence. 374 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,080 GLASS SHATTERS 375 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,240 HO-DOLL: I hope you're going to clean that up. 376 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,240 This school is too creepy at night. 377 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,960 Nah, man, it's not creepy enough. 378 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,080 HE WHIMPERS 379 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,640 SQUEAKING 380 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,400 Sir! It's the suit. Hmm? 381 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,400 Why have you got a ring light? 382 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,640 You see a haunting. I see content. 383 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,480 What are you talking about, a haunting? 384 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,599 THEY SCREAM 385 00:17:19,599 --> 00:17:22,000 Something just touched my leg without consent. 386 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,359 Oh, my God! 387 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:25,440 Oh, no, it's just Mr Carmichael's tail. 388 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,960 Ah, for the last time, it's an integral part of the outfit. 389 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,080 And why are you lot acting like Sketchy Sues? Hmm? 390 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,960 Because of the Ghost of Abbey Grove. 391 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,240 What ghost? 392 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:46,840 Mmmmm... 393 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,720 Mmmmm... Yo, I beg you, stop making that noise. 394 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,080 Well, I can't help it. I had ten garlic breads. 395 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,000 Ghosts hate garlic. That's vampires. 396 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,440 HIGH-PITCHED CHATTER 397 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,200 Oi, can you lot hear something? 398 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,200 Right, what are you lot going on about? 399 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,200 ALL: The Ghost of Abbey Grove. 400 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,280 CARMICHAEL: Ah, it all makes sense. 401 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,440 Ms Hoburn was acting like she'd never even met 402 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,640 the art teacher before, like she'd never heard of her. 403 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:15,160 Like she didn't even exist. Huh? 404 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,520 GROANING 405 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,880 USMA GASPS 406 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,880 Oh, what was that noise? 407 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,520 Screw content! We need to get ouuuut! 408 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:23,880 Come on! Agh! 409 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,600 Quick. I knew that art teacher was a wrong 'un. 410 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,880 She kept talking about how her flesh and blood walked these corridors. 411 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,480 Come on, let's get out of here. 412 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,760 I don't like this. I do not like this. 413 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,920 HO-DOLL: Slow down! Stop running! 414 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,000 I'm touching cloth here. It's getting louder. 415 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,800 PANICKED CHATTER 416 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:49,840 ALL SCREAM 417 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,200 Oh, thank God, it's you guys! 418 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,120 What are you doing in here at night? Could ask you the same thing! 419 00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,200 And why have you got that little mob with ya? 420 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,960 Could ask you the same thing! Why are you dressed like a cat? 421 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,040 It's fashion. 422 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,440 HO-DOLL: Slow down! Stop running! 423 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,520 Oh, my God, there's someone else in the school. 424 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,440 Who is that? Who...or what? 425 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,360 We need to find somewhere safe right now. 426 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,400 Get in there. Get in there. 427 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,480 HUSHED CHATTER 428 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,480 Harrison, get in there. 429 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:39,000 ALL SCREAM 430 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,720 Fraser! 431 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:43,960 What are you doing here? 432 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,080 I got kicked out by the live-in landlord. 433 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,000 She said I made her feel uncomfortable. 434 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,440 Don't you live with your mum? Well, not any more. 435 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,240 So you stole the toilet roll? 436 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,360 Lovely. I'll have a few of those, eh, Jinx? 437 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,400 Is that my pashmina?! 438 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,400 HE WRETCHES 439 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:57,480 Ugh! Ugh! 440 00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:01,520 This smell is rancid in here. That'll be the face mask. Home-made. 441 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,800 Since Hoburn banned avocados for being too "millennial", 442 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,400 I've had to find an alternative source 443 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,960 for vitamins B2, 3, 6, 12 and D. 444 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,640 Any chance you didn't make it from...? 445 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,800 Correct. My famous mackerel lasagne. 446 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,600 What about the freezing temperatures? 447 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,400 The boiler broke. I've had to crank the heat up at night... 448 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,520 It makes sense. ..to ward off the mega rats. 449 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,240 HE HISSES 450 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,240 Mega rats?! 451 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,240 They're jonesing for my mackerel. 452 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,480 Yeah, well, Mr Harper wants to get to the time capsule 453 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,840 before it's opened. Ugh! Harrison! 454 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,960 Come on, man. What? 455 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,560 Sor...? The time caps-u-elle? 456 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:35,840 STEPHEN LAUGHS Well, I am shocked and appalled. 457 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,960 Wh... What, you were sneaking in here like a monster rat 458 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,440 to get to the time capsule?! 459 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,920 Well, Hoburn keeps it in her office. 460 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,480 BOTH: How do you know that? 461 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:44,880 Hmm! Hmm! 462 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,960 I've got peepholes everywhere. 463 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,760 Forget I said that. 464 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,760 THEY LAUGH 465 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,840 Peephole! 466 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,840 THEY LAUGH 467 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,440 I'm just going to... No, Stephen! 468 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:56,840 Get out of my way, bitch. 469 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,280 STEPHEN SCREAMS 470 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,280 Move! 471 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,080 Stephen! 472 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,080 THEY STRAIN 473 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,200 Ahh! 474 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,080 Right, no... 475 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,840 Get off me now! No-one can see what... 476 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,960 THUD 477 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,960 Ooh! Aah! Ow. 478 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,520 Are you OK? Careful! 479 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,240 That contains Alf Bestos. 480 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,240 HE SCREAMS 481 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,400 Fraser, why didn't you say something, you bellend?! 482 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,120 Not asbestos. ALF Bestos. 483 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:25,160 I tried explaining this to Hoburn over the sound of the drilling. 484 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,800 Alf Bestos was my rap collab. 485 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,440 With Slick Wicks? 486 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,080 # Alf Bestos, besties, partners in crime 487 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,640 # We often drink together and we text all the time... # 488 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,160 We did text a lot, actually. 489 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,600 # I hope I get sick so he can donate a kidney 490 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,280 # His banter's so fly, I want a bit of him in me 491 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,240 # Alf Bestos, we're brothers He ain't no mystery 492 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,560 # I even know his password and read his search history 493 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,800 # Monday, 10:30 in the morn 494 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,800 # I caught him in the staffroom looking at... # 495 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,160 OK, right, I've changed my mind. 496 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,520 I was going to say "porn." 497 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:56,760 I will not be blackmailed. 498 00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,040 I'll just admit that I lost the kids' GCSEs in a casino. 499 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,400 That was tragic. 500 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,160 What else is in there? 501 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,600 Inchez! No. Give... Give that back! 502 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,080 Do not open that capsule! 503 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:09,440 This is for Mr Harper. 504 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,720 Ah-ha! Ah-ha! 505 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,200 Oh... Ah! 506 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,800 OK, Carmichael, time to see what you REALLY thought of me. 507 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,160 HE CLEARS THROAT 508 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,360 "Mitchell, I lo... 509 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,320 "..loathe you. 510 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:36,040 "I loathe the way you can only write in crayon. 511 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,880 "I loathe how your scalp glistens in the sun." 512 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,080 Huh? 513 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,680 "I've always loathed you, 514 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:45,360 "and I really think I might loathe you forever." 515 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:46,960 Ha-ha! 516 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,520 Psych! 517 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,080 Eugh! 518 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:52,520 Thank you. 519 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,040 And, just so you know, that little phase lasted less time 520 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,480 than Kim K's first marriage. 521 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,880 I don't blame you, mate. I was 522 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,880 a right sort when I was 13. Ugh... 523 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,880 LEATHER SLAPS 524 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:02,120 Ugh! Why is there a little love heart on the envelope? 525 00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:04,320 Ooh, shall we see what else is in the time capsule? 526 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:05,960 Ooh, there's one for Mr Carmichael. 527 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,240 "To Stephen, from Mitchell." 528 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,400 Oh! Cute! 529 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,960 HE CHUCKLES 530 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,960 And it's a jar. 531 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,840 He gave you nothingness? Brutal. 532 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,000 Shushamumbo... 533 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,720 Oh, it's one of them airtight ones. 534 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,360 Airtight? 535 00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:22,960 Oh, shit! Don't open that jar. 536 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,040 What?! 537 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,440 I farted in it. Agh! 538 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:29,160 GLASS SHATTERS INAUDIBLE 539 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:35,240 SLOW-MO: I can taste it! 540 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,720 SLOW-MO: Argh! 541 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:53,480 That was a 12-year malt. 542 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,480 Ugh, disgusting! 543 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,840 MUSIC PLAYS 544 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,840 Wait, can you hear that? 545 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,480 I think it's coming from the gym. 546 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,040 HE HISSES 547 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,280 MUSIC: Cheek To Cheek by Fred Astaire 548 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,160 This music is dead. 549 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:20,960 THEY'RE dead. 550 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,560 THEY SCREAM 551 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:25,960 Me and Inchez are trapped. 552 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,120 There's... There's not much air left. 553 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:30,560 We might... We might not make it out alive. 554 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:34,240 I'm not crying. My eyes are just streaming from the stench. 555 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,760 But my mascara is still flawless. 556 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,960 #UnpaidAd 557 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,680 DEATHLY GROANS 558 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,680 Agh! What was that? 559 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,640 Yo, I've got the door open. Let's go, man. 560 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,760 HE SIGHS 561 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,640 WHISPERS: Hey, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Yo. 562 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:01,760 It's Warren's. 563 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,400 You think it's a bad omen? No. 564 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,160 It's a good omen, man. 565 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,720 It's a sign from the big guy. 566 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,320 Inchez, we're going to die! 567 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:23,920 Nah, we ain't. 568 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,120 We're taking this pussio down! 569 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,040 The power of Stormzy compels you. 570 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,440 You're blinded by the light, bruv. 571 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:40,040 You're getting too big for your boots, I say, I say, I say... 572 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:44,320 SUPPRESSED SQUEALS 573 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:44,320 Shut up! Shut up! 574 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,880 SUPPRESSED SQUEALS 575 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,880 Shut up, rude boy. 576 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,520 Ah-ha-hah! I did it! 577 00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,280 I caught the ghost! 578 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:53,080 Mate, that was incredible. Guys, we just caught a ghost! 579 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,600 Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha... 580 00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:57,440 Wait. 581 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:58,960 It's a mask. 582 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,960 HE SCREAMS 583 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,880 Will someone please untie me from this blasted chair? 584 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,560 She's possessed. A spirit has entered her body. 585 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,960 That's why she's more creepier than usual. 586 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,680 I beg your pardon?! 587 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,000 If anything had entered me, 588 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,680 I'm pretty sure I'd feel it. 589 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,680 MITCHELL SNICKERS 590 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,160 So tell us why you're running around wearing this shit. 591 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,400 It's PPE. 592 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,440 I'm looking for asbestos before the parents kick up a fuss. 593 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,000 What about the flickering lights? 594 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,200 Oh, the builders drilled through the wiring. 595 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,400 But what about the ghosts in the gym? 596 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,480 I hire out the gym for evening classes. 597 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,360 Can I help it if it's poorly attended? 598 00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:37,040 She definitely sounds like Hoburn. 599 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:38,880 Are you in there, demon?! 600 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,920 THEY SCREAM 601 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:44,360 THEY WHIMPER 602 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:44,360 The power of Christ repels you! 603 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:46,040 It's Claudia Winkleman. 604 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,960 Hello, Mother. ALL: Mother? 605 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,280 What?! Mother? Who's Mother? 606 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:54,560 Oh, fine. 607 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:57,720 Let me introduce Chloreen, my ex-husband's daughter, 608 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:01,200 though I maintain I'm still only one of five possible mothers. 609 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,560 That's why you pretended you didn't know who she was. 610 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,800 You're a nepo baby. 611 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,800 THEY GASP 612 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,840 Yeah, but what the bloody hell are you doing here in the middle of the night? 613 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,400 I have my reasons. 614 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,480 Not you having the hots for Fraser. 615 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,880 I love your cloak. I love your pyjamas. Thanks. 616 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,120 Broadmoor. I know. I have a pair. 617 00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:22,240 Ugh... 618 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,600 HOBURN SIGHS 619 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,600 Oh, no, Chloreen. Not again! 620 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,880 What?! I've spent my life craving your approval, 621 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,160 but I'm stuck in the same old toxic patterns. 622 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:35,280 The art, the improv, the deeply flawed choice of sexual partners. 623 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,520 They're all cries for help. 624 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,080 But I finally get it. 625 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,320 You're simply not capable of giving me what I need. 626 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,160 So I don't need your approval. 627 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,600 I need to establish some clear bound... 628 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,640 And she's gone. 629 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:51,800 THEY GASP 630 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,120 I mean, maybe a tiny bit of approval would be nice. 631 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:57,400 Sorry. 632 00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,760 So, did we kill the demon? What are you talking about? 633 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:02,240 Like, is it still here? 634 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,720 Oh, Usma, you've gone viral. No way! You mean, YOU'VE gone viral. 635 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,160 What can I say? Man's infectious. 636 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,400 Yeah, I wouldn't shout about that if I was you, Inchez. 637 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,440 We should make a time capsule. SHE GASPS 638 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,200 Yes! I can put my new manifesto in it. 639 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,120 "No-one is too white to make a difference." 640 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,840 Fraser, what are you going to put in the next time capsule? 641 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:22,800 You know what? 642 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,920 I like to think of myself as a bit of a time capsule. 643 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,960 SHE CHUCKLES 644 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,040 HE CACKLES 645 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,120 What do you reckon he meant by that? Don't know. 646 00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:34,240 Probably Fraser just being Fraser. 647 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,240 MUSIC ECHOES 648 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,120 FRASER: Say cheese. 649 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:51,240 # And I seem to find the happiness I seek 650 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,880 # When we're out together 651 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:58,480 # Dancing cheek to cheek 652 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,680 # Heaven 653 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,760 # I'm in heaven 654 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:09,520 # And the cares that hung around me through the week 655 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,320 # Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak... #