1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,360 CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:04,920 HE GROANS 3 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,760 Sir, there's no room for our bags. 4 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,400 Someone has filled it up. 5 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:13,200 Don't look at me, should have got here earlier. 6 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,880 That's the last of the big bags, sir. 7 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,920 Do you want this hand luggage on board with you? Obvs! 8 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,240 Why are you looking like a trapper? 9 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,160 Look, we're stepping off ends, innit? 10 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,120 Man can't get caught slipping, you feel me? 11 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:30,520 The only thing you'll get caught slipping on is cow shit, bruv. 12 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,840 We're going to Pembrokeshire. 13 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,000 But, wait... ..where's Harrison? 14 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,200 Yeah, where's the brother at? Where's he at? 15 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,200 I'm here. Guys, I'm just wearing camo. 16 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,120 Look, I'm here! 17 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,120 CHUCKLES 18 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,400 Guys! 19 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,960 Oh, God, I'm invisible. 20 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:50,040 Oh, babe, the dress code was practical. 21 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,960 I'm practically perfect, Jinx. 22 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:56,040 But you best believe I am flossing out of this school uniform. 23 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,880 Oi, oi! Get one of these down your neck. 24 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,680 We should not be encouraging underage drinking. 25 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:05,440 Good point. Part of the fun is stealing the booze. 26 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:09,039 Oh, what's this? I've left me beers unattended. 27 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,920 I'm not looking, better not nick nothing! 28 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,360 For God's sake, if you want this adventure weekend to be 29 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,400 the bollocks, then you stick with me. 30 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,240 Ignore this wet wipe with the stuffed cat. 31 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,039 Excuse me, it's not a stuffed cat! 32 00:01:22,039 --> 00:01:24,520 It's Magical Mr Mistoffelees, from Cats! 33 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,680 Sir is very protective of Andrew Lloyd Webber. Who? 34 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,720 The godfather of musical theatre - Cats, Phantom of the Opera, 35 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,080 Jesus Christ Superstar. 36 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,880 And, according to the Mega Star Quest celeb tracking app, 37 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,840 Andrew Lloyd Webber lives right next to the campsite. 38 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,080 Here is a map to the compound. 39 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,440 When we land, I'm going to pop over and introduce him 40 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,880 to the star of his next musical blockbuster - moi. 41 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:49,000 This is not some Search For The Stars, or a poxy fashion show. 42 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,920 We know. It's a chance for inner city kids, like me, 43 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,680 to learn new skills, develop team building, and survive in the wild. 44 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:55,920 Eh-eh! 45 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,080 This is your opportunity to dive headfirst into the three B's - 46 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,560 booze, banter, and birds. 47 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,040 Obviously, I'm only here for the first two B's. 48 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,600 Oi, oi, oi! That's my lager, you little prick! 49 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,200 Class F. F for fick! 50 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,920 Good luck, you lot, trying to get a date to the disco with them 51 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:16,960 lot on the trip. The what? The last night disco. 52 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,040 Basically, the Met Gala, but for scrubby little kids. 53 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,120 Obviously, I didn't go. Oh, because you were gay? 54 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,400 Because they were all clapped. Ahh. 55 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:24,880 Did you get a date, sir? 56 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,800 Me? To the... 57 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,200 Yeah, obviously. 58 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,120 Mate, I was the man back in the day. I couldn't move for treacles. 59 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:37,680 Listen, I will teach you every trick in the book, starting with Class F. 60 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,880 We need to show them that we are the alphas, 61 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,440 so we need to sit at the back of the bus. 62 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,040 I'm not sure Rosa Parks would agree. 63 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,400 Well, Rosa Parks didn't want to do wanker signs at lorry drivers, 64 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,440 did she? Come on you lot, let's go. 65 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,079 Warren! 66 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,600 Yeah. 67 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,120 One coach trip and I've already been asked to the disco by eight guys. 68 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,680 I said no, obviously. 69 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,560 Because of your faith. Yes, Jinx, my faith. 70 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:39,960 My faith and the sheer audacity of them thinking they can ask me. 71 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,480 Well, I don't actually want to get asked. I find these antiquated 72 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,800 heteronormative dating rituals to be quite... 73 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,720 Agh! 74 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,640 I don't think you've got to worry, my love. 75 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,960 In that skirt, if you look like a nun, you'll get none. 76 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,000 Sir, I... I need some advice. 77 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,040 The school disco's tomorrow night 78 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,400 and I wanted to ask a girl to dance with me. 79 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,760 Oh, a... 80 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,520 Sorry, just a little bit... 81 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,240 Just a little bit shocked. 82 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,640 Um, I assumed you were part of the LGTBQIA+ community. 83 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:13,680 Listen, I don't want to say I understand your lifestyle, 84 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,760 but I want you to know I support you. 85 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,040 Well, thank you, but this was a bad idea. 86 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:21,880 I mean, Usma's never going to go for me. 87 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,040 Usma and you? Yeah, exactly. 88 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,720 Oh sorry, I didn't mean it like that. 89 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,440 It's just, you know, obviously, you're fab, it's just... Assemble! 90 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,600 What in the B.Tech Bear Grylls is bumba gwaning? 91 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,440 Bet you've never such a decorated Beaver! 92 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,560 Well, my missus does like a vajazzle. 93 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,120 Why is there a gap? 94 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,159 Oh, well, most Beavers have a hole or three. 95 00:04:40,159 --> 00:04:41,880 Erm, I'm only missing one badge. 96 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,200 Is that the friendship badge? 97 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,520 No, erm, I'm just missing a hunting badge. 98 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,600 Apparently, wrestling the eggs off a mother owl isn't good enough, 99 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,200 according to my power-mad scout master. RIP. 100 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,240 I don't know how to say this politely, 101 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,280 but what are you doing here? Saving Abbey Grove. 102 00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,520 Applications are down 200%. 103 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,520 Most of our students end up unemployed, in prison, 104 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,080 or in the Army. 105 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:09,600 But now, the Army are questioning the quality of our cannon fodder, 106 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:13,400 and if they stop hiring, Abbey Grove is finished! 107 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:17,640 So, I am here to teach this rabble some serious survival skills. 108 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,880 HYAH! 109 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,760 Ah, Mr Fraser! All set? 110 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,680 Holes dug, wells sunk, 111 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,680 traps - bear, booby and otherwise - set. 112 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,920 I have thoroughly Home Aloned these woods. 113 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,000 Translation? 114 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,320 Survival! 115 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:36,200 We only eat what I forage or kill. 116 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,960 Shrew? There is only one shrew, but we could Lady And The Tramp it. 117 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,200 No, thank you. 118 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,760 If memory serves, I think camp food is provided. 119 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,640 Ah, no, not the package I went for. 120 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,040 We've got no kitchen and no toilet facilities. 121 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,840 What? I'll make Beavers out of you yet. 122 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,760 Now... 123 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,320 ..who's digging the latrines? 124 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,640 Ooh. 125 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,040 Any hole's a goal! 126 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,960 Hey-hey! 127 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,840 MUSIC: As It Was by Harry Styles 128 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:10,680 # Holding me back 129 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,040 # Gravity's holding me back... # 130 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,000 SNIFFING 131 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,080 What's that smell? 132 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,080 Oh, I think it's nature. 133 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,920 But what do I know? I'm just your classic inner city ruffian. 134 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,960 This is some horror movie setting, man, 135 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,840 and ethnic minorities do not do well in these situations. 136 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,280 Oggy, oggy, oggy! 137 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:29,280 Oi, oi, oi! 138 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,760 My name's David and I run this show. 139 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,800 Now, I should warn you, I can be a bit of a joker! 140 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,080 Unless we're talking respecting the Countryside Code. 141 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,920 I didn't know we could talk like that. 142 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,360 We're all here to have a laugh, 143 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,240 but not at the expense of the flora and fauna. 144 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,640 Unless you get the opportunity to catch and kill, 145 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,120 in which case, seize it! 146 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,880 Well, no, that's actually a direct contravention of the rules. 147 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,760 All right, well, kill or be killed. Again, no. 148 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,280 One shot, one kill? I'm ignoring you now. 149 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:58,840 So, first thing today is the tug-of-war, 150 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,480 orienteering tomorrow, then the disco. 151 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,920 But your first task is setting up camp. 152 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,360 Now, I have a T-shirt to distribute to each of you. 153 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,640 There you go! David? You're an adult, mate. 154 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,000 # We had our first date three weeks ago on Monday 155 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,760 # He took me out for dinner, then he asked me back to his place 156 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,760 # Mate, he was like 6'8", with huge arms and a fit face 157 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:23,120 # Then he opened up his mouth and I was like, "What?! No way!" 158 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:26,200 # What you so boring for? It's like talking to a door 159 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,800 # Swear I cannot be arsed to do this... # 160 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,600 Oi, what is that? 161 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,840 That is my Technicolor Dreamcoat. 162 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,360 I've never played Joseph, actually. 163 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,800 But, hopefully, once I meet Andrew Lloyd Webber, things will change. 164 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,240 Oi, sir, this tent is sick. 165 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,960 Glamping, my G! Flossing, in fact. 166 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,400 We are flamping! 167 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,400 We? 168 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,800 Uh-uh, this is all for me. 169 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,800 But we've been putting this up for hours. 170 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,040 This whole trip is about teamwork, yeah? 171 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,080 And I got you working. You're welcome. 172 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,840 So, where are we going to sleep? 173 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:58,680 Back to your bed, bitch. 174 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,000 First rule of camp. 175 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:04,160 Ha-ha, we've got nowhere to sleep. Banter! Way-hey! 176 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:07,160 I'm off to meet Lord Lloyd Webber. 177 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,200 Erm, about this, I think it needs a few finishing touches, my love. 178 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,800 Thank you. Oh, and on the Usma disco situation, 179 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,920 we'll catch up about that later. Ta-ta! 180 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,320 Excuse me, my love. 181 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,760 Stranger danger! 182 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,720 I'm so sorry, I left my map in my tent. 183 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,120 Luke? 184 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:33,760 Lucas. I changed it by deed poll. 185 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,159 Two syllables! 186 00:08:36,159 --> 00:08:38,960 And your name is? Steve? 187 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:43,400 Stephen, with a puh-huh-leeze! 188 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,600 Like you would forget my name! 189 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,680 You copied everything I did at drama school. 190 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,280 Those days are over. 191 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,600 That cape is over. 192 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,840 It's for the centenary of the century. 193 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:57,200 She shells sheashells on the shea... What? 194 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:02,240 Lord Lloyd Webber's 100th birthday weekend. Huh? 195 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,600 Not invited? 196 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,960 Of course I'm invited. 197 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,480 So, where's your costume? 198 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:13,400 We're dressing in his most iconic looks all weekend, in his honour. 199 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,040 Oh, I know! 200 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,200 I didn't want to get my roller blades dirty in this forest, 201 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,760 you know what I mean? Don't you think that Starlight Express is, 202 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,120 like, totally underrated anyway? 203 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,960 Well, after you! 204 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:28,240 Surely you can find your way there without your little map? 205 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,360 Of course! 206 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,880 Teasing! This way! 207 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:39,040 I was actually at Uncle Andrew's last week with, you know, 208 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,720 the Charlotte Sisters and Auntie Bonnie... 209 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:41,920 Argh! 210 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,280 Ah! 211 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,520 Oh, my God. 212 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,240 Lucas! Help! Help! Help me out! 213 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,440 And why would I do that? 214 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,040 Because we're friends. Friends? 215 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,240 At the end-of-year show, I fell off the stage, 216 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,960 and you didn't help me. 217 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,640 Don't laugh! I'm not laughing! 218 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,760 I'm sorry you're going to miss the big weekend. 219 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,640 I'll make sure to post lots of photos on the Gram. 220 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,520 LUCAS LAUGHS 221 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,520 Lucas! 222 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,440 You bitch! 223 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,680 Ah, Lucas! 224 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,240 HE SOBS 225 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,480 Lucas! 226 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,280 Warren, you look like death warmed up. 227 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:29,240 Stay hydrated. Have some water from the well I dug. 228 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,080 Oh, maybe later. 229 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:36,280 I would not serve that to my own worst enemy - 230 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,760 Gregg Wallace. 231 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,080 At least I won't have to go back to the well and get more. 232 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,520 Remind me again why we're not cutting through the whole rope. 233 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,840 We're going to let those Class F tosspots think they're winning 234 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,080 when, actually, they're hanging on by a thread. 235 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:49,800 The rope will break, they'll fall on their arse 236 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,120 and look like a bunch of lemons. 237 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,480 Legend. 238 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,080 WHISTLE 239 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:58,000 Come on then, guys. Tug-of-war time! 240 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,840 Let's get you into teams! 241 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,920 Come on. Let's give it to 'em! Come on! 242 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,600 Gladiators, ready! 243 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,200 I'm joking. 244 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,840 Ready, set... 245 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,200 WHISTLE BLOWS 246 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,040 Come on, we got this. 247 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,000 CHANTING: Pull! Pull! Pull! 248 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,080 I'm going to break a nail, sir! 249 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,560 Hey, these man are wasteman anyway! You're weak! 250 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,040 I'm tugging really hard! 251 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,240 Oh, I'm tugging so hard. 252 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,240 Hey! 253 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,320 GROANING 254 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,120 Oh, my bottom. 255 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,720 What are you lot doing down there? 256 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:47,120 Who's going to go to the disco with me, covered in this? 257 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,640 Loads of people. 258 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,160 No-one fit, though, innit! 259 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,880 An incision in the rope, made with a serrated blade, 260 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,800 probably a Swiss Army knife. 261 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,320 Who done that? 262 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:01,680 If you lot were in the Army, you'd be court-martialled for cheating. 263 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,680 Report to the mess in five! 264 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,800 Brilliant. 265 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,320 OWLS HOOT 266 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:09,680 Court-martialled! 267 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,640 I've become the kind of person my grandfather had shot in the war. 268 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,440 Yeah, well, you weren't meant to fall too! 269 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,360 Well, take it up with the basic laws of physics. 270 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:21,240 Yeah? Wait until you see Class F fishing their clothes out the lake. 271 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,440 Come on, Harrison. 272 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,320 Wait, where's Mr Carmichael? 273 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,720 I'm in hell! 274 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,680 First Mitchell mocking my Dreamcoat 275 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:32,120 and then Lucas throwing me in this pit to die! 276 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:36,880 Oh, my God. 277 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:39,720 Oh, my God. 278 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,240 I'm... I'm Joseph. 279 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:49,360 I'm Joseph and I don't even have my Dreamcoat! 280 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,760 Help! 281 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,600 MITCHELL LAUGHS 282 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,240 Dickheads! Who do Class F think they are? 283 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,200 No-one pisses in my bed but me, fam. 284 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,920 Oh, come on, it's just banter. 285 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,920 It's revenge for throwing their clothes in the lake. 286 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,840 Ah, have they pissed in your beds an' all? 287 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,480 No. Miss Hoburn talks in her sleep. 288 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:10,640 It's horrific. 289 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,520 One shot, one kill. 290 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,200 One shot, one kill. 291 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,320 One shot, one kill. 292 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,200 One shot... Argh! 293 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,440 Where is everybody? 294 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:24,320 We were going to ask Mr Carmichael if we could stay here. 295 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:27,440 I assume he stayed at Andrew Lloyd Webber's, so there's plenty of room. 296 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,160 It's OK, I'll just stay in the chair. 297 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:38,400 I cannot breathe! What is all this noise? 298 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,800 Miss, this is not what it looks like. 299 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,000 What is going on? Class F mugged us off. 300 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,240 Moves and countermoves. The art of war. 301 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,480 Oh, impressive. 302 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,320 I didn't know anyone at Abbey Grove read Sun Tzu. 303 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,520 Not since they stopped Page Three. 304 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,720 You're clearly a cut above this dross. 305 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,240 Officer material, perhaps. 306 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,280 But, no, a bit too nervy. 307 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:05,240 Perhaps a spy? MI5, MI6, both very reputable employers. 308 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,840 And, as luck would have it, I need someone to sex-up a dossier for me. 309 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,240 Keep talking. 310 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:14,520 Well, if you compile a snazzy brochure for the Army recruiters, 311 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,200 "Abbey Grove Survival Camp," 312 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,440 I'll let you off the orienteering course. 313 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,400 Oh, so a camp scrapbook? 314 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,240 But not all ribbony and glittery. 315 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,120 Oh, Miss Hoburn, I won't make promises I can't keep. 316 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,840 Right. Who's coming back to the bunkhouse? 317 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,880 Nah, I think I'll stay here, take my chances. 318 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,480 Namaste. And I'mma stay, too! 319 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:39,240 Hm, this feels like a hostile occupation of foreign territory. 320 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,440 The Army would approve! 321 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,400 Night-night. 322 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,440 Right! Top and tailing? 323 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,800 Actually, I better sleep with my arse out the flap. 324 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,600 I've got a massive shit in the departure lounge. 325 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,040 Hello?! 326 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,520 Is anybody there, there, there... 327 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,480 No reverb! 328 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,840 No reverb! In a well! 329 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:05,480 BIRDSONG 330 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,440 KNOCK AT DOOR 331 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,440 Come in. Have yourself a pew there, next to Doris. 332 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,960 Don't worry, she won't bite. 333 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,080 Not any more. 334 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,440 Not since I murdered her and stuffed her in that box. 335 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,440 What can I do you for? 336 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,840 Well, I'm looking for old photos of Abbey Grove trips. 337 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,360 Very few exist. 338 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,080 As Mr Carmichael's biographer, 339 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:30,760 I usually destroy any old photos of him in hiking boots. 340 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,800 Old fancy pants in the rainbow tent? 341 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,120 Yeah, I've not seen hide nor hair of him since he arrived. 342 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,840 He went to Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber's. 343 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,760 Oh, yeah, just over yonder. 344 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:40,440 His 100th birthday this weekend. 345 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,800 The village is buzzing. The local GP's on hand. 346 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,000 All guests under 30 are being asked to donate 347 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,760 a pint of their blood at the door. 348 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,640 He's very fond of blood, apparently. 349 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,280 Photos! 350 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,440 Thank you. 351 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,120 Not that one. 352 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,640 Probably best you don't tell anyone you've seen that one, as well. 353 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,400 Good morning, guys. I just wanted... 354 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:05,840 WHISTLE 355 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:10,080 Gather round, please! Come in, quickly! 356 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:13,840 Harper, you sabotaged the tug-of-war, soiled the bunkhouse, 357 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,960 and taught your pupils zero survival skills. 358 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:20,400 But, Miss, popularity is the best type of survival skill. 359 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,280 Yeah, well, why did all my clothes end up in the lake this morning? 360 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,080 Take it as a compliment, right? 361 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,240 It's because we're the king of bants, innit? Yeah. 362 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:28,800 Well, you won't be very popular 363 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,880 when Class K don't make it back for the disco. 364 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,080 ALL: What? 365 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,400 Yes, you heard me, Bant King. 366 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:38,160 The last team back from orienteering 367 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:41,960 will not be allowed to attend the disco tonight. 368 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,320 Maybe missing out on this famous dance 369 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,600 will teach you to take survival seriously. 370 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,480 Guys, it's important to remember, 371 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,280 the main thing about orienteering is having... 372 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:54,080 SHRILL WHISTLE 373 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:54,080 Disco or death! 374 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,840 Jeez. 375 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,920 Lads, don't worry, all right? I've got this. 376 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:02,040 Sir! All this pengness is going to go to waste. 377 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,560 No disco, no dates, nothing! 378 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,000 I'm going back to the tent. 379 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,680 And this is my last clean tracksuit! 380 00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:12,200 You've ruined my life! 381 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,520 We go left round there. 382 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:23,800 Sir... Ooh. 383 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,079 ..I get that you're reliving your glory days, 384 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:30,240 but we have learnt approximately zero survival skills this weekend. 385 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:33,280 Yeah. If we want to go to the disco, we have to get creative. 386 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,160 Oh, I couldn't agree more. 387 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:36,880 Now, according to this map, 388 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:39,840 we can take a shortcut across Andrew Lloyd Webber's compound. 389 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,000 This will mean that we'll finish the orienteering course 390 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,400 in half the time. 391 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:47,080 I mean, ladies and gentlemen, we shall be going to the dance tonight. 392 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,200 HE HUMS A HAPPY TUNE 393 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,720 Yeah, look, I kind of feel like this sort of 394 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,440 might be an incy-wincy bit my fault. 395 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,000 So, I'm going to make it up to you. 396 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,000 I am putting on my big-boy pants. 397 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,320 Warren, give me the map! What? 398 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,880 Warren, I am your teacher. Give me the map. 399 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,080 Thank you. 400 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,400 Right. Follow me, pricks! 401 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,840 I think we should be going that way. 402 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,920 Oh, yes, there she goes. 403 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,080 CHUCKLING: I needed that. 404 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,080 I am sleeping inside the tent tonight, baby. 405 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,400 That's ten minutes we'll never get back. 406 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,520 Jinx, we're close, all right? I can feel it. 407 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,440 Feel it? Where's the map? 408 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,080 Well, my arse wasn't going to wipe itself. 409 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,720 Yeah? We would have been quicker doing the actual task. 410 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,240 Blessing, trust me. 411 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,760 Remember, I've been here before. 412 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,840 I know these woods like the back of my... 413 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,240 Ooh, Jinx, look at this minging mole on the back of my hand. 414 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:44,000 Do you reckon I need to get it checked out? 415 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,320 JINX RETCHES 416 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,320 We're lost. 417 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,040 This is a disaster. All thanks to Mr Harper! 418 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,800 Well, at least I'm trying to help, unlike Mr Carmichael. 419 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,480 Well, at least his map was useful. 420 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,680 Until you turned it into toilet paper! 421 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,680 I bet all the girls are already at the disco, 422 00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,200 dancing with some next man, fam. 423 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,120 Sir, think about the last time you were here. 424 00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:02,520 Do you recognise anything? 425 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,640 Right, well, erm... There was no last time. 426 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,640 I had my suspicions, but this photo confirmed it. 427 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,200 Look. An old shot of Class K. 428 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,920 And who's not in it? 429 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,680 You didn't go? 430 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,320 Well, what about the stories? 431 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,280 And the bants? 432 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,760 You were my hero. 433 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,000 Well, I just feel so... What's the word? 434 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,640 Stupid. 435 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,480 Harrison. 436 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:31,720 Harrison, wait! 437 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,200 Wait a minute! 438 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,560 So, we're going to miss the disco? 439 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,800 I mean, who wants to go to that meat market 440 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,640 with all the Normative Normans? 441 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,280 Me, actually. 442 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,480 No, no, we can still complete the course. 443 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:50,240 I have to try and get us to that disco, for morale. 444 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,920 Really, really strange. 445 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,040 RUSTLING 446 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,320 What was that? I thought it was you. 447 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,920 It was probably just Mr Fraser. Shh! 448 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,520 Listen. 449 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,800 Ooh, I am listening. 450 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,280 I'm always open to hearing about your lived experience. 451 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,480 BLESSING SCOFFS 452 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,280 Wait. 453 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,160 Is that... 454 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,160 Is that... A bear? 455 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,760 THEY WHIMPER 456 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:29,720 THEY SCREAM 457 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,560 Where have you been? Get back to camp! 458 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,360 B-b-buh, b-b-buh... 459 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:34,800 Is she broken? 460 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,480 Bear! Bare broken? Oh, I see, yes. 461 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,000 No, I'm up on my urban dictionary! 462 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,240 Bare, as in large amount/level of. 463 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,800 No, there's an actual bear in the forest! 464 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,000 It's armed, it's dangerous, it's going to attack us. 465 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,280 It's going to eat us alive! You need to relax, Karen! 466 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,160 Hunting badge, here I come! 467 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,160 Yes, always carry a blowpipe. 468 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,040 And, don't even think about going to the disco. 469 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,440 You're not allowed. 470 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,760 Urgh! 471 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:07,360 Oh, Luke? 472 00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:09,560 Watford School of Drama, 2015. 473 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,000 Lucas. 474 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,680 I'm Stephen Carmichael's assistant, and biographer. 475 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,480 Biographer? 476 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:20,080 Oh, I bet there are several chapters dedicated to our rivalry. 477 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,400 Oh, no, just a footnote dedicated to haters. 478 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,480 Meow. Purr. 479 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,720 Well, water under the bridge. 480 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:32,040 Though I did see Steve yesterday. "Steve"? 481 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,680 He was in very deep water. 482 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,040 You're using a lot of water metaphors. 483 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:42,320 Let's just say, he's finally playing the role he was born to play. 484 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,840 Joseph! In the well? 485 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,720 Fraser's well! That's where he's been. 486 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,800 Strange boy. Mr Carmichael! 487 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,320 YAA! 488 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,840 Mr Fraser, I almost took you out with my tranq dart. 489 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,480 I admire your confidence, madam. 490 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,400 You may well have blown the dart in my direction, 491 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,200 but that does not mean it would have hit me. 492 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,880 Thanks to.... HYARGH! 493 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,200 A heady cocktail of Krav Maga, Capoeira, Tai Chi and Aikido. 494 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,760 I call it... 495 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,000 Krapoerchido! 496 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,120 Well, your Starbucks order aside, I need your help. 497 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,600 What have you got in your wooden house? 498 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,560 We need to set a trap. 499 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,720 And you're sure this can work? 500 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,120 Bernadette, I don't mean to chefsplain, 501 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:47,040 but if you go down to the woods today, or indeed any day, 502 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:51,680 you will not be surprised to learn that bears love a picnic. 503 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,960 Shh! I can hear the bear. 504 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,360 Positions. 505 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,720 ANIMAL CALL: Aa-aah! Aa-aah! 506 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,080 Dammit! 507 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,520 Hngeeee... 508 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,000 Yes! 509 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,040 Let's get you back to camp. 510 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,160 Sir! 511 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,480 Warren! I've been looking for you all day. 512 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,280 I'm so happy to see you. 513 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,840 You didn't say anything weird to Usma, did you? 514 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,360 No, I didn't. OK, good. 515 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,800 Get me out. OK. Erm... 516 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,600 Please tell me you brought a rope! 517 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,400 Ah, allow it, man! 518 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,760 It's dead anyway. 519 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:03,280 Guys, listen, I'm really sorry that I lied to you. 520 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,920 The truth is, all my friends got to go on this trip and I didn't. 521 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:10,000 I was desperate to, but my dad lost the trip money, 522 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,080 spoofing for a round of drinks. 523 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,840 I guess I was just trying to recreate something I never had. 524 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:19,800 Harrison, you need to choose your heroes more carefully, mate. 525 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,960 You're still my hero, sir. 526 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,520 Cheers. 527 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,560 Here, look, I found this in the clubhouse. 528 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,120 I know it's ancient, but I thought you could use it for your disco. 529 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:29,960 Uh, what is that? What is...? 530 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,440 Usma, this is a CD player. 531 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,160 Here, look. I found some old CDs, too. 532 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,320 Bloody hell. 533 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,320 What happened to you? Don't ask. 534 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,880 But I'm glad we're back, thanks to Warren. 535 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,560 Oh, Warren! You never gave up. 536 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,640 That's why we love you, Warren. 537 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,440 Right, come on you lot, it's disco time. 538 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,000 Here, Blessing, pass that CD. 539 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,720 Yes, this is a belter! 540 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,160 Thanks, Warren. 541 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,200 Remember, you never give up. 542 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,400 INDISTINCT CHATTER 543 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,200 Erm, Usma, I... 544 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:19,440 Usma, I consider you a dear friend but, erm, well, 545 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:23,360 I have to tell you that I think you're completely luminescent. 546 00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:27,400 And not just in your dazzlingly impractical tracksuit. 547 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,840 I feel delighted when I look at you, 548 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,160 and I... 549 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,720 Well, I would be honoured if you would dance with me. 550 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,120 Finally! 551 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:42,240 Someone who's coming correct and putting some respec' on my name. 552 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:43,760 Great, cool. 553 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,680 That's totally cool. 554 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:47,200 Totally cool. 555 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,360 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. 556 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,120 Yo, Jinx. 557 00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:59,640 Like, I know dances are Antiques Roadshow and that, 558 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,680 but would you, you know, like, maybe want to dance with me? 559 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,800 Well, antiquated heteronormative rituals but, yes, very much yes. 560 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,560 No, I really would, yes, yes. Cool. 561 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,560 May I? Come here, pretty boy. 562 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:13,920 You'll do. 563 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,600 You think I'm pretty? 564 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,080 So are you. 565 00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,680 Well, that was easy! 566 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,960 Wait, what? Getting a girlfriend. 567 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,560 Oh, Harry, you thought I was into boys? 568 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,680 Wait, you're into girls? 569 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:29,840 Oh, my God, it's so crazy. 570 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,400 We've got so much in common. 571 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,600 I mean, we never did get to have our dance at the disco. 572 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,400 I feel like we should fix that. 573 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,520 Let's do it! 574 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:47,520 Hang on, you knew I never went on this trip in the first place. 575 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,120 How come you didn't dob me in to that lot? 576 00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:51,600 I mean, your dad ruined all of your fun, 577 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,760 I was not going to do the same to you. 578 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,480 Ooh, speaking of fun, how was Lordy Lord Webby's? 579 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,080 The pits! Chill. 580 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,360 I like your buns. 581 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,120 I mean your, your... 582 00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:10,000 On your head. 583 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,360 Oh, flip, man. 584 00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:12,800 Goddamn. 585 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,400 Pizza and beer for my favourite class. 586 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:21,200 Oh, go on, I'm not looking, better not take any! 587 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,040 What are you doing? Well, this is my way of saying thank you. 588 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,680 I finally have my hunting badge, 589 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,560 thanks to your tip-off about that bear. 590 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,200 What bear? 591 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,640 Well, the bear I tranqued and dragged back here. 592 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,480 SCREAMING 593 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,680 What did you do to Lucas? 594 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,800 Stop it! Stop it! Come here! 595 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,160 Come here! 596 00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,160 GASPS 597 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:50,800 WHISTLE BLOWS 598 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,640 Who's Lucas? Call the bloody police! 599 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:55,320 # Caught in the light 600 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,160 # Like a sun to the ocean 601 00:27:58,160 --> 00:27:59,680 # Born in the night 602 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,680 # In an orderly fashion... # 603 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:07,160 Right, all the students accounted for. 604 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,840 Just Fraser missing. 605 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,040 Win-win. 606 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,960 Jesus Christ! 607 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:14,240 Oh, shame. 608 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,880 What happened to you? The strangest thing happened. 609 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,480 One minute I was helping set a trap for a bear, the next minute, 610 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,160 I woke up in a four-poster bed in a desecrated chapel 611 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,800 next to Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber. 612 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,120 Shut up! I knew you wouldn't believe me. 613 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:30,120 So, after he asked me to donate some blood, 614 00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:32,720 I took a selfie in the mirror with him. Look! 615 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,520 Where's Andrew? Weird. 616 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,440 He was definitely there. 617 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:43,000 THEY SHUDDER 618 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,240 No...