LISA: Previously on Vanderpump Rules...
What do you want permission for?
I've been learning how to DJ.
[bleep] me. Do I need another DJ?
[sighs]
Do you want something to drink?
Sure.
I do like Shayne a lot.
He's just doing everything wrong.
The laugh is rough. [imitating Shayne's laugh]
- [laughing] - Dodged a bullet.
[laughing]
Do not let that spill. My vibrator's in there.
[giggling]
No!
Is that, like, all the toys?
Okay, anyways.
When it comes down to it, you're hot, I'm hot.
He saw some girl from across the bar,
when I turn around, and they're all over each other like this.
Like, sharing a moment.
Do you have a situation going on?
I'm not in a relationship, but I have options.
Okay, well, I'm definitely not an option. So...
Venus came up to me in the kitchen,
almost in tears over nasty text messages.
So the other two haven't spoken to you?
No, none of them have.
You got your feelings hurt from my text.
I don't want to be friends with you anymore.
Okay. Perfect. See you later, brother.
Time and place for everything,
and now is not the time and place.
We can't be around each other because I'm not gonna be around
someone that there's an issue with and ignore the issue.
But at the end of the day, the high road...
The high road is bullsh--.
The high road is ----ing bullsh--.
Female rage 2025.
[theme music playing]
♪ I'm on a roll, no stopping ♪
♪ From head to toe, yeah, I'm buzzing ♪
♪ Take me higher and higher and higher and higher ♪
♪ I love it, this feeling ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
Oh, God, I'm already exhausted.
Dolly, you're gonna be looking brand ----ing new.
♪ Explore the world, I'm in it ♪
♪ No limit, no limit ♪
♪ I'm on the edge, no limit ♪
♪ No limit ♪
♪ This feeling ♪
♪ I love it, I love it ♪
♪ This feeling ♪
LISA: Hey!
- GUILLERMO: Lisa. - What's up? You look happy.
- Smiling. - I know.
Lots of things.
- Great. How are you? - Good. How are you?
How are you doing?
- LISA: Let's sit. - NATHALIE: Okay.
LISA: How are all the staff?
How's Chris doing behind the bar?
At the beginning, he was kind of lost.
But now, I think he was great.
The girls love him.
Christopher.
- Christopher. - Christopher.
Only my mom gets to call me Christopher, though.
I don't know. I think you're a little too young for me.
Somebody made a comment on social media that he's like a...
sex worker?
- A what? - A sex worker?
He's a sex worker?
Well, so am I. It's a ----ing job
when you've been married 42 years.
What defines a sex worker?
Somebody was making a comment that he was on OnlyFans.
I have no idea. I don't even know what's OnlyFans, but...
- I don't know. - I don't think there's
- nothing wrong with that. - Oh, so you know what it is.
- I heard about it. - Oh, you heard about it.
Check his phone. Look, he looks guilty. Look.
What you do in your private life is none of our business.
As long as it doesn't hurt anyone.
I agree. I mean, we come from Europe.
Nobody wears any clothes in Europe anyway, for God's sake.
- [chuckling] - So, the party.
That's his big night.
He produced the movie. He was unstoppable.
He was like, I'm gonna--
- Do you like the movie? - Yes. Yes, very much.
We're gonna have a red carpet waiting for you.
- Oh, stop. - I need to get
a picture next to you.
We're hosting the after party of
this Spanish film that Guillermo is involved in.
He's been an actor and producer for many years.
Some people even call him the South American George Clooney.
- Go figure. - NATHALIE: It's a good message.
And it's about second chances.
I'm all about second chances.
Marcus seems to be doing better.
He wants to DJ alongside McKenna.
I don't wanna say no to anything to him right now,
because I feel that he's been struggling so much,
and if it's bringing a little bit of joy to his life,
- I think we should support it. - Let's see if he's any good.
What is the next step he's gonna ask you for?
No, he ask me the other day, he said,
can I borrow your suit and this and that.
"Can I borrow your suit?" He did not.
- Yeah. I don't mind. - [laughing]
♪ It's just another crush when you look my way ♪
♪ When you say my name ♪
♪ Like you know what... ♪
- Hi, full glam. Hi.
You look so cute. Don't get up. You're fine.
Come here. Let me, like, meet you.
You look so amazing.
- I wanna look cute for you. - [giggling]
♪ Just another crush when you look my way ♪
Let's go!
That's what happens when you drink 15 beers
- the night before, bro. - That's your pre-workout, bro.
- What are you getting? - I was thinking about red.
I was thinking about red, too.
It actually does give me confidence.
I'm so tired of feeling sad and stressed.
- Like, I-- - You've been sad.
Yes, Natalie did push me at girls' night,
which was not okay.
You just walked into this friend group.
We're having a girls' night,
so pause it. No, don't push me.
But then she called me the next day and apologized,
so I'm just trying to give her some grace 'cause
clearly she's going through something.
Let this be a lesson to everyone.
If you want to invite me to a girls' night
and avoid a serious conversation,
don't be upset when I crash out.
I really would have loved for after the girls' night
for Kimberly to say, "Hey, I hope you're okay.
- Yeah. - "Hope you're feeling better.
"We'll talk when I'm ready."
- She sent me a receipt. - What the hell?
The bill from the cowboy bar and said,
"Hey, can you Venmo me for your stuff?"
- Girl. - I was like, what?
Both of you guys just need to take a break, honestly.
Like, take a beat. That conversation will be had
when both of you are ready. I'm here for you, girl.
Thank you. Are you working tonight?
I am. I'm low-key stressed because I have to see Jason.
So what is happening?
[upbeat music playing]
Who's that stud?
- The water jug. - What's up, boys?
I know, dude. I'm dehydrated.
That's to kill last night's hangover.
You just missed us on the flat bench.
- Really? - I got half a titty, bro.
I'm trying to grow that sh--.
Can you grow the half a tit?
Nah, this sh-- is done.
It looks good, though. Let me see.
Bro, my little titty's still bigger than most titties.
Yo, how was the rest of the night? Did you see everybody?
- What have you heard? Anything? - No.
Was Angelica pissed that I didn't go?
[laughing]
During girls' night, Jason texted me and was like,
asking me to meet up with him at TomTom.
I just got a text from Jason.
"Hey, heard you're out with the girls.
"Would be good to see you."
But I made it, and Chris was there,
but Jason didn't show up, so...
- And he was texting you? - He was telling me to meet him.
You could tell she was pissed. She was pissed.
I called her last night, I was like, "Listen, I'm really tired.
"I got an hour ride home. I just worked all night."
Boop. Hung up.
- I was like, "Damn." - Oh, sh--.
Like, he's called me and was nonstop texting me
about how he wants to, like, take me out to dinner
and, like, I guess make it up to me in a way.
That's so weird. Yeah, mixed signals.
'Cause I don't necessarily want anything serious,
'cause I literally am getting out of my year-and-a-half
- relationship right now. - Yeah.
Except we live together, so, nightmare.
You guys still live together, right?
Do you guys sleep separately?
He has an air mattress, so yeah.
- Oh, okay. - But sometimes...
- I'm not gonna lie. - Are you guys still hooking up?
Yes. Yeah, it's just easier, girl.
I don't wanna go out there on the streets.
I'm not judging. I'm just asking.
Like, duh. They're still living together.
Obviously. I was just gonna confirm.
I'm not saying it doesn't make her and Jason totally messy.
It's very messy. But that's why she's gonna
fit in at SUR just fine.
- Least I'm getting it. - Doing what you need to do.
- Get it in when I can, girl. - Yeah.
Pull-out game has to be strong.
So maybe Jason, he's like a cute little distraction
in the midst of all of this.
I'm all about Angelica. I wanna hit her up.
It's like, just let me do that. Let me take the step to be like,
"Hey, I'm sorry for what happened the other day."
It's one sorry. That's all we need.
I usually date people at work,
which is what I'm trying not to do anymore.
Very incestuous.
It's very incestuous.
LISA: Coming up...
Not really talking to you and not communicating
has been really hard for me.
- Go inside. - Oh, here we go.
- Go inside, babe. - I'm going over here.
- Ugh. - It's not the time.
[upbeat music playing]
♪ Can you see me walking solo ♪
♪ And now that you know ♪
♪ Mind your business ♪
♪ I got this new glow ♪
♪ Wrapped 'round my halo ♪
♪ I know that they know ♪
Buddy, buddy.
Are those the shades you're wearing tonight?
I think I'm gonna go tuck, belt, black shades.
- Just go Matrix on 'em. - Okay.
- How are you? - I'm fine.
I'm trying to plan for this event.
I think nothing got done
that was supposed to get done bar prep-wise.
VENUS: Are you kidding me right now?
LISA: I know this film's great.
I've heard a lot about it.
And he worked really hard.
This is a man that every good thing
that happens to him, he deserves it.
Wait, how many people are at this party?
They're gonna take up the whole garden, so a lot.
Hi, guys. It's first come, first serve.
I'll show you to the bar. Right this way.
- JASON: Oh, Angelica's here. - Yeah, she's the hostess.
Let me go, like, to the bathroom and fix my hair and sh--.
- Your hair looks great. - No, it doesn't.
Looks like sh--.
- I love you, dude. - All right.
- Let me know how it goes. - I will.
This goes to the middle.
Yeah.
Okay.
Hi.
I haven't seen you in, like, a week.
It's been a while. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie.
- My heart's beating so quick. - Really?
- Yeah, a little bit. - Good.
Good. Now you know how it feels.
Do you think you can hold it down
while I have a little chat with this one?
- ISRAEL: Absolutely. - Okay.
- Hi, brother. Wish me luck. - I got you.
Just kidding.
There's some waters over here.
JASON: So first, I just wanna say that...
I'm really sorry about everything from before.
Like, the first time we, like,
kind of talked outside, I wasn't ready for that.
I was a little confrontational. I'm not gonna lie.
'Cause when you said what you said, it kind of insulted me.
'Cause at the very least, I don't want a relationship.
You're being a little clingy with me right away.
I didn't mean to insult you.
Clingy doesn't have to be a bad thing.
I like my girls clingy. [laughs]
I mean, if I'm your girl, then I'll be clingy.
Should I get it going?
[dance music playing]
Ah!
I did think you're so cool.
I'm not gonna lie, it really affected me the whole week.
Like, I was so stressed.
'Cause I met you, and I thought that you're really sweet.
You're the kind of person that I actually, like,
would like to get to know.
Well, I would be willing to give you a second chance.
- Yeah? - MARCUS: I feel so powerful.
I feel so powerful!
All right, cool, cool, cool.
Oh, I got it, right here. Boom.
I know that you do taekwondo and I do jiu-jitsu,
and I was thinking we can go to a jiu-jitsu together tomorrow.
Are you asking me to put you in a chokehold?
- I would like that. - [both laughing]
Jason really tries hard to project a lot of confidence,
but once you peel back a little bit of that ego,
he actually can be very endearing.
Like, I can't help but want to give him another chance.
It's like looking at a little puppy. Like...
wouldn't you wanna, like, take that home?
I know. [laughs] You were ignoring me.
Okay. Aw, okay.
♪♪♪
- Oh! What's up, Kim? - Hi.
- How you doing? - Hi.
Good?
So, I feel like everyone's staring at me,
so I'm just gonna go into the kitchen
and pretend this isn't happening. Okay? Okay.
I just want to move on.
I want everyone to just ----ing make up
- and just bring peace. - I understand.
So that's where I'm at in my headspace.
But it takes two. I told Angelica today,
friendship is a two-way street.
So it's like, the fact that she's not talking to you, like,
that's frustrating. That's not a step in the right direction.
Even if Marcus and I never repair our friendship,
I don't wanna lose Kim out of my life.
She was just collateral damage,
and she just carries such a loving energy
that when I don't have that,
it feels like I'm missing a piece of home.
- Hi, guys. - Hi!
I wish I was wearing this right now.
Oh, my God. I'm so glad I got to wear this.
- I like the red. - Look, you match my nails.
Well, I just wanna talk to Kim before this party gets started.
I don't want another 24 ----ing hours of this.
I need to move past this.
It's driving me insane. My heart is ----ing aching.
- I can't take another second. - Yeah.
I think she's over by the DJ booth with Marcus.
Are you digging it or what?
- Maybe. - Bad boy?
It's not giving bad boy.
McKenna, you're on ab duty.
- Okay. - Sandwiched.
Yes, hair! Work.
LISA: Okay, guys.
I know you're living in your own little world here, right?
But you have to read the room.
Guillermo gave us a small set list to do it,
so we felt like he loved all these. But you're right.
We'll go dance right now. Dance is sexy.
Say that again? What did you just say before?
- You're right. - Yeah, exactly.
♪ I'm the one you need to have a good time ♪
♪ We out here till the sunrise ♪
Oh, no way.
Who's that superstar over there?
Oh, look at this guy.
I think I'm crushing it. I should be DJing here.
I mean, not only here, but around the world, even.
If that's what the people want,
I'm gonna give the people what they want.
[imitating record scratch]
All right, all right, all right.
- Hi. - VENUS: Can we go talk?
- Sure. - Please.
Yeah.
Sure. Is this sliders? There you go.
I need to hold onto this. It's ----ing cold.
Oh, my God.
Well...
I think-- Let me just start with,
not really talking to you and not communicating
has been really hard for me.
- KIM: Go inside. - Oh, here we go.
Go inside, babe.
- I'm going over here. - KIM: Babe, go inside.
- It's not the time. - MARCUS: Well, goddang.
Kimberly done laid the law.
VENUS: Anyways...
First off, it's been really hard for me not talking to you,
and I love you, and I wanna move forward,
and I can't imagine my life without you.
Kim, you already know I've been in your corner more than anyone,
and I wanna make sure that everything's right with us,
and that's what matters to me.
I feel... afraid to trust you right now.
And I don't wanna feel that way, because you were
the person I trusted the most.
Like, I know that I lashed out.
I just sat there. Took me two seconds to type this response.
I said, "I don't wanna hear about
"your clown-ass relationship from you or Kim.
"Y'all just look stupid as [bleep]."
I shouldn't have talked like that.
I've never talked to you like that before,
and I'll never talk to you like that again.
I don't wanna keep crying. It hurts so much.
The last couple weeks, but it's just, like,
Marcus and I both feel like you are the person that
we have been the most vulnerable and open with
and that we love the most out of everybody here.
Like, if we all had to leave SUR today
and take one person with us, for he and I, it's you.
And I feel like we felt like, has the last year of us
just creating this bond and this friendship I couldn't
even believe I was lucky enough to have with you both...
was it real?
Has the last year of us just creating this bond
and this friendship, was it real?
Venus was the plus one in me and Marcus's relationship.
He was our first phone call anytime we got into a fight.
He was our first phone call to go out.
He and I were the only two people that, like,
went to Marcus's house when Marcus's mom passed away.
Until recently, I thought that he would love us no matter what.
But my thing is that I haven't done anything
besides just get mad at y'all and tell you how I feel,
and I feel like you and him
have actually done things for me not to trust.
- That's fair. - Because now I have to be like,
if I talk sh-- about someone to my best friend,
how do I know you're not gonna tell them eventually
if we end up fighting? I haven't done that to y'all.
Y'all did that to me.
Me sending text messages or us talking about you
to all these people who, like, then came to you days later,
it wasn't right, and I shouldn't have done that.
You of all people know I have trust issues with friends,
so the minute that I see a red flag,
which is why I'm where I'm at with Natalie...
Hi. Are we okay?
JEN: Yeah.
It's pretty crowded, so...
- Sorry. - Well, maybe we can
- continue this later. - Yeah. Thank you.
All right.
Well, let's maybe try and talk again.
You know, I think I'm obviously struggling
with Natalie right now, and your closeness with her
isn't necessarily comforting,
nor do I feel comfortable
being super close to you right now because of that.
And it's done nothing but tear me apart.
Like, I've felt nothing but alone here
because of this whole situation.
- Well, I love you. - Okay.
I don't feel like Kim is fully hearing me,
so at this point, it's like, I'm just gonna love her
where we are and just move forward,
because there's nothing else I can do.
All right. Go pass trays, I guess.
Okay. Pray for me.
♪♪
♪ Let's go, let's go, let's go ♪
- How you doing? - Hey, what's up, man?
- How you doing? - Jason, nice to meet you.
Professor Arman, nice to meet you. So you ready to try
- some jiu-jitsu? - Absolutely.
So just walk to the back and go ahead and get changed.
All right, awesome. Thank you. Absolutely.
Angelica's a taekwondo two-time black belt. Impressive.
I'm not a pro in taekwondo, but I love jiu-jitsu.
It's about turning your joints the way it's not supposed to go.
You have not seen what I can do.
♪ Let's go, let's go, let's go ♪
- Hey. What's up? - ANGELICA: Oh, my God. Hi.
I don't think you're tying your belt correctly, actually.
You wanna do it for me?
I'm not a good jiu-jitsu guy.
I am a second-degree black belt in taekwondo,
and I was on the national team for three years,
but I have never done jiu-jitsu.
Taekwondo, you're gonna be on your feet
the entire time, you're kicking.
Jiu-jitsu's all groundwork.
Like, strange positions that I'm sure he's excited
to put me in, which is why he probably chose
his martial arts and not mine.
All right, we need a fair battle.
I wanna know some skills.
I'll show you one real quick before you try it out.
So you grab his lapel, grab his sleeve.
With my left foot, I'm gonna step forward.
I'm gonna kick my leg.
All right, and you take him down.
So once he's down, right, all you're gonna do
is lift the arm up, step over, and then break his arm.
- All right? - Okay, perfect.
All right, so grab his lapel, grab his sleeve.
So when you take him down, don't let go of his sleeve.
Now step over with your left leg. Now fall.
Yes, there you go. Good job.
All right, Jason, you wanna give it a try?
- [laughing] - Oh, [bleep]. Is that right?
No, that's perfect. Yeah, that's good.
Now step over with your left foot.
I think I got a rug burn.
And then fall back. There you go. Yes.
One more time, Jason. Show her one more time.
[yelping]
- Oh, my God! - [laughing]
[bleep] you.
- Ow. - What the [bleep]?
What the actual hell was that? I feel like I just
- felt my whole body, like-- - Yeah, swing around.
I thought this date was gonna be really cute.
You know, maybe he'll show me a couple moves.
But Jason is treating me like
he's trying to win a wrestling state championship.
Here, wait. I'm gonna start like this,
and you're gonna show me, like, how you take me down from here.
- You ready? - Yeah.
Okay. [giggling]
I gotta be honest with you with something, though.
Okay.
At the time, I was, like, kind of talking to somebody.
- Okay. - So...
I just wanna let you know that that's done.
Me and Angelica are starting on a new slate.
I feel more vulnerable.
I feel more safe with Angelica.
I wanna open up to her.
I like wearing my heart on my sleeve
and showing her truly who I am.
The person I was talking to
was somebody that was important to me,
and time kind of just, like, showed me that
it's not the right match.
So I am, like, open to...
see what the next step is for me with somebody.
Okay.
I'm sorry, but I have asked Jason several times
if he was seeing another person,
and he just straight up lies about it every time.
When was your last relationship?
Probably like four to five years ago.
Can you be honest with me about something, though?
- For sure. - Do you have a situation
- going on? - I'm not in a relationship.
Yes.
I still live with my ex.
- You still live with your ex? - I know.
I may not have used those words exactly, but I feel
like it's pretty obvious because I still live with him.
Did you have a lot of fun today?
I did. Yeah, it was fun. I'd do it again.
No! [giggling]
- [both giggling awkwardly] - Um...
To swerve a kiss isn't, like, the biggest thing.
Now you caught me off-guard.
Maybe she's just playing games. Who knows?
- I like you. - I like you too.
- Definitely. - Okay.
Oh, yeah, right. [giggling]
LISA: Coming up...
Did he tell you about their other job?
- Other job? - Their OF?
- OnlyFans? - You didn't know about that?
- What? - [laughing]
[upbeat music playing]
What's going on, guys? How you doing?
Today, we're getting a little crafty, as you can see.
Mother's Day is just around the corner.
I got my cousin Jason here.
We're both mama's boys, and we love our moms, so we wanna do
a little something extra special this year.
What's up, mama? How you doing, Cheech?
Super excited to make a gift for Mom.
We've been far, far away.
I haven't seen my mom in, like, eight months,
so, Mom, this one is for you.
So, dear Mom, thank you for raising me so tough.
You never gave up on all my craziness,
whether it was wrestling, applying to medical school,
breakups, or chasing my dreams in LA.
Love you, Mom. Love, Jason.
We're not really good at cutting hearts.
It's gonna kind of look like a square.
This journey with me and Chris moving to California
was just like any typical, like, actor story.
The first five months in LA, I was grinding as a server,
working at a spa,
and I was also working at a club. I had three jobs.
Been working my ass off, dude.
First moving to LA, it was not what we really expected.
We had barely anything.
Remember how it was when we first lived here, bro?
We lived in our ----ing cars.
Dude, in my Volkswagen Jetta. Thank God we had each other.
All of our clothes were in trash bags.
I was using the trash bags and clothes as warmth at night.
- [both laughing] - And your body heat.
And then, honestly, bro, I was just getting sick of
ramen noodle and ----ing cat food.
I was trying to eat clean,
and, like, I didn't have any money to do it.
So, I was eating cat food, really.
Canned tuna.
Like the one you get at Ralph's.
Honestly, shout out to them. I was shredded.
- Tripod? - Yeah, we'll get the tripod.
Good lighting. Like, boxer kind of vibes or something.
Something, like, just sexy for Instagram.
Chris and I were both just trying to figure out
how we were gonna make money faster.
I see all these social media people, and I'm thinking
to myself, like, "How are they making money like this?"
Like, subscribe if you wanna see Justin Fox's page.
Like and subscribe if you wanna see Axl Stone's page.
Italian Stallion 3.
Serving, you could make good money,
but we were still kind of, like, in the hole.
All right, this is gonna be for Chris's channel.
All right, ready?
Maybe go this way a little bit.
CHRIS: Happy Mother's Day to all of your mothers out there.
JASON: People were hitting me up on Instagram left and right,
saying, "You should do OnlyFans."
And all of a sudden, it was just like, eureka.
CHRIS: Jason started OnlyFans before me,
and I started seeing how much money he was making,
and I really just wanted to make as much ----ing money as we can.
- Happy Mother's Day. - Wow, so heartwarming.
See you guys Tuesday. Thank you.
JASON: All right. Well, I gotta study Shakespeare
'cause I've got my scene tomorrow.
CHRIS: All right. Good luck with that.
♪ Say what ♪
♪ Gonna do a little this, do a little that ♪
- ♪ Get a little crazy now ♪ - ♪ Say what ♪
♪ Everybody wanna get busy, get steady like this titanium ♪
- ♪ Say what ♪ - ♪ Finna go all out ♪
- ♪ Say what ♪
♪ How much time you got ♪
Wine for the lady, fruit punch for the man.
At one point in my life, it genuinely was,
"Dude, how do we just get laid all the time?"
And I didn't care about the consequences of that.
[bleep]. I don't think you cut strawberries.
You just place 'em.
Now that I'm older and have been humbled by life,
it's more like, how do we...
tell the truth and still get our needs met?
And it works. Women have sexual needs.
I am here to fulfill them. [laughing]
- [dogs barking] - Hello.
- Good to see you. - Good to see you too.
Sorry, my dogs are gonna go crazy.
It's okay. I love dogs.
Kristen is an absolute baddie that I met on set.
Hello, how are you?
And I'm hyped up that she's finally back in the dating pool
because I think the situation with Natalie
kind of made me insecure.
NATALIE: You're, like, showing all your cards.
It's, like, making me, like, bored.
Oh, you're b-- you're bored?
And now I'm gonna need a couple solid dates
after all this confusion to get my mojo back.
Thank God there's not a ----ing cork.
Now I'm gonna get fruit punch.
Oh, yummy.
Okay, cheers.
Sorry, I started drinking without you.
That's okay, I forgive you.
So what have you been up to?
SHAYNE: Mostly screenwriting.
I have my life story which I've been working on.
It's like a whole ----ing thing.
I got shot when I was young, got paralyzed.
I had to learn how to walk and sh--.
That's crazy. I wanna see your gunshot wound.
- You wanna see it? - Yeah, can I?
Yeah. Everywhere that I have a Band-Aid, I've been hit.
- What? - Yeah.
Wait, the Band-Aids are kind of sick, though.
I have a real problem trauma dumping.
I got shot three times.
Oh, my God. This is crazy.
I'm an oversharer. But, like, using the gunshot wounds
as a lure to show off the hard work
that I put into the gym is not a bad idea.
I got this one in high school.
It's the devil reaching for hope.
- [phone buzzing] - Think your phone's ringing.
Oh, Karina!
That's my ----ing sister.
Mm-hmm.
- SHAYNE: Okay. - [dog whining]
KRISTEN: Okay. Like, I don't really care
what I am with somebody as long as they're upfront.
Ethical non-monogamy is making sure upfront
that a woman knows that your intentions
are not for exclusive commitment.
Kristen is dating other people, and she's cool with it.
I know you have to get to a concert.
I do.
We're definitely seeing each other again.
- Okay. You gonna walk me out? - Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Um... [giggling]
Yikes.
I just... ----ing can't say it.
- [knocking] - [dog barking]
Oh, what up?
- Dang. - Good to see you.
- You too. - Come on, come on, come on in.
- SHAYNE: So you've been good? - KARINA: Mm-hmm.
What about yourself?
Been all right. Yeah.
♪♪♪
You wanna watch a movie?
Which one?
Let's watch something scary.
Look, Karina loves movies.
I have the best VHS collection upstairs.
She really gets into,
you know, the first five minutes of a movie.
LISA: Coming up...
CHRIS: What's going on here?
- Uh-oh. - What's going on here?
Angelica, [bleep] you.
♪ Her name's on everybody's lips ♪
♪ Got 'em at her fingertips ♪
♪ She's a hot topic ♪
- Hi. - Hi, cutie.
- Oh, my gosh. - How are you?
- I'm so much better now. - Oh, my God, good.
I heard you hurt your back, so I brought you some...
Bro, literally standing up just now, I felt it.
- ...some feel-better matcha. - Thank you.
Got my back blown in all the worst ways by a man.
A moment of silence for my vertebrae.
[yelping in slow-mo]
At the end of it, he was like, "Oh, by the way,
"I wanna be honest, I did cut off the girl I was talking to."
- Okay. - I was like, "Okay."
- Oh, Jesus. - And then he--
After telling me this, he tried to kiss me.
I don't want anything to do with Jason.
Nothing? Did you tell him that?
I will do my best to convey those...
You're gonna have that conversation?
Let's go over the history with Jason.
So, we flirted for a full day. That was super cute.
Then he made out with another girl.
Invites me to a place, doesn't show up.
Then we do a weird date where he injures me.
Can we just move on from this situation?
Like, what the [bleep], bro?
Did he tell you about their other job?
- Other job? - Their OF.
- OnlyFans? - You didn't know about that?
- What? - [laughing]
That's, like, another red flag.
- What is the content? - I don't wanna know.
I'm so desensitized to OnlyFans
because ever since I've had a phone,
I've, like, known what it is.
I won't say I've never thought about doing OnlyFans.
You can express yourself how you want,
make a lot of money, then [bleep] off to Europe,
marry a prince.
I don't know if they would want anyone
who does OnlyFans, but you know what?
They wouldn't have to know.
Can I tell you a really funny story?
- Yes. - [both giggling]
Chris and I were hanging out after our surf lesson
the other day at his place.
I'd kind of been drinking a little bit. He was like,
"You just wanna stay at my place tonight?"
I was like, "Yeah, sure." Literally very PG-13.
In the morning, I was like,
"I would really love to take a shower."
He's like, "Yeah, sure. Second door to the right."
I was like, "Okay, great."
I go to the shower, and there's, like, a...
Do you know what a penis pump is?
A what?
What could that even entail?
It's, like, just to, like, get an erection
or, like, erectile dysfunction.
Oh, my God, poor thing!
AUDREY: It was, like, staring me down.
I was, like, mid-shampoo,
and me and the penis pump locked eyes.
I was like, "Hey."
And the penis pump was like, "What are you doing here?"
And I was like, "What are you doing here?"
And he's like, "Wait, I thought you were in my bathroom."
And I was like, "This isn't your bathroom?"
He was like, "No, that's Jason's bathroom."
Oh, my God. Everything I learn about this man.
Ew.
Ew! I need to, like,
shave off my ears and grow new ones now.
I wish I were a starfish.
They can, like, regrow their, like, ligaments.
How old am I? My knees and my back, like, hurt.
You're going out tonight, right?
- Yeah, I'm gonna go out. - [bleep].
It's just gonna be ----ing dancing,
like, shaking ass all night.
I don't know if I can move my ass right now.
You'll move it. Take some ibuprofen.
[laughs]
♪ That's my vibe, that's my vibe ♪
♪ A little bit fast, a little bit slow ♪
♪ A little bit of something that you wanna get to know ♪
AUDREY: I can't wait to see Venus tonight.
He's bringing his sister.
What's up?
- Hi, Chris. - Hi!
- Looking good. - Thanks.
- You look good. - Per ushe.
Party tonight.
Hi.
Cheers, you guys.
Cheers to lovers!
Hi!
Oh, my God, the outfit with the bag!
Hi, babe.
Oh, my gosh, everyone smells and looks good.
♪ I'm on top of my game right now ♪
♪ I got back the spirit now ♪
- AUDREY: Cheers to the night. - Good vibes, good times.
- Hi, queen. - Hi, cutie!
You look like you're about to perform a concert.
You look like you're about to go to war, too, though.
No, I really am. Just you wait.
Hopefully tonight we'll just have fun
and not deal with any drama.
Let me just get a Paloma with a Tajin rim.
CHRIS: All right. I'm big on charcuterie.
I am obsessed with people ordering for me, so.
Oh, you're in good hands with me.
- Hi! - Hi!
- VENUS: How are you? - Who is this queen?
VENUS: This is Savannah.
Savannah is my youngest sibling.
She, in my eyes, is just perfect in every way.
But you wanna know a little bit of dirt on Savannah?
She hooked up with Peter once.
Yeah, that Peter.
Savannah, what the [bleep] were you doing?
Both of you have, like, beautiful hair.
Thank you.
♪♪♪
[all cheering]
[crickets chirping]
♪♪♪
- VENUS: J! How are you? - JASON: Good, how are you?
- SHAYNE: My guy. - Oh, my God.
- SHAYNE: My guy! - Hey!
JASON: How are you?
- That's all from jiu-jitsu? - Huh?
- That's all from jiu-jitsu? - ANGELICA: I know.
It's like when I stand, I feel this, like,
electric shock and it shoots down my whole spine.
Like, it's just scary. Honestly, I--
You should go to a chiropractor.
I'm getting an MRI tomorrow.
I think it's a pinched nerve.
It happened to me all the time.
Oh, you ordered food.
- I think Chris did. - Hell yeah.
- Okay. - I can't really stand.
Damn, I wanna eat that, but I can't have cheese.
I'm not a cheese guy.
What do you want? I'll put some on the plate for you.
- No, I'll get it. - They need forks.
I do wanna, like, tell you something, though.
Okay.
I just feel like you and I might be better just as friends.
I just, like, feel a little overwhelmed
when you tried to kiss me. It made me, like, really...
I don't know. I don't know. But I feel like there's just--
JASON: I'm totally cool with being friends.
- Thank you. - I hope your back feels better.
Deep down inside, I'm hurt about this.
I could feel my ego trying to just, like, cover it up
and be like, "Jason, don't act hurt."
But we just had a date, and I had a chance
to show her who I am, and now it's just all cut off.
Angelica, she was like, "I just wanna be friends with you."
And I was like, "Yeah, that's where we were at. Okay."
She's playing games.
I don't really know Angelica too well.
I do get a lot of, like, weird fake energy from her, though.
Like, I can't really tell, like, her motives.
They had a jiu-jitsu class, and apparently she can't stand up.
But she walked her ass over here.
She actually sent Jason a picture of her at the gym
the day after the jiu-jitsu accident.
She's full of sh--. That's what it is.
ANGELICA: Hi.
You look really good tonight.
SHAYNE: Oh, damn. You look really good tonight.
- ANGELICA: Um, I'm-- - You wanna sit down?
Okay. I always just see you.
I don't, like, get to talk to you.
SHAYNE: I was a little worried about, like,
coming at you, just because at first I was like...
Well, why didn't you ever say hi?
I just didn't wanna step on Jason's toes
- 'cause I know y'all were-- - His little tiny toes.
Oh, don't do that!
You don't wanna hurt his tiny little feelings?
I always thought Angelica was hot.
But I thought she was, like, madly in love with Jason.
Bro code is super important,
but the chemistry is just happening right now.
- Sorry. - I think you're hot.
Like, that's-- But I don't know you.
You don't need another ex. That's all there is to it.
Period. Well, that's all I wanna know.
NATALIE: Wait, wait. Look at what's happening behind us.
Oh, my God. I'm pretty sure it's been about 0.5 seconds
since she was talking to Jason.
I mean, girl, we do not have to homie hop.
We could do a homie walk.
I'm in this weird space where
I'm trying not to get too attached to anything.
Just trying everything with a pulse?
No, no, no, no, no. Not everything.
I'm like, "Check, check, check."
Okay, wait. Let me see.
I'll do that anyways, though.
- [both laughing] - Come on.
Come over here. [laughing]
JASON: I'm gonna let her do her thing tonight.
She's gonna hook up with somebody else.
Yeah. She gonna be petty?
What the [bleep], bro?
Oh, my God.
CHRIS: I kind of wanna butt in.
Oh, wow. Yeah.
- I like that. - What's going on here?
- Uh-oh! [laughs] - What's going on here?
We're just having a really nice conversation.
Oh, wow. Yeah. I like that.
CHRIS: What's going on here?
- Uh-oh! - What's going on here?
It's just two really sweet,
nice people getting to know each other.
It's looking like more than that.
- This is how you and I sit. - Okay, okay. Yo.
- Good luck. - How are you? You good?
Good luck with her.
- SHAYNE: What's that mean? - The [bleep] does that mean?
He's acting like we dated before.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
- He wishes. - He wishes? [laughing]
ANGELICA: Did Chris just use his penis pump
so he'd walk over here and cockblock me?
CHRIS: You see, this pisses me off because
obviously Jason's my ----ing best friend.
- I know. - Shayne's my boy.
- I know. - And I'm like,
is Shayne gonna do Jason dirty like that? But, like,
when it comes to bro code, you don't do that sh--.
You don't do that sh--.
It's a wild berry, like, martini.
I don't get-- [bleep].
VENUS: I don't understand what's happening with that.
JASON: Yeah. It's confusing.
She's all over Shayne now, and I'm like, Angelica, [bleep] you!
Gosh, I hope I ate enough so the tequila doesn't, like,
take over this situation that I'm really enjoying.
And I just, like...
- Oh, my God! - It's coming out!
- Put the tongue away! - Yeah, I'm sorry.
You keep pulling it the [bleep] out.
You're pulling my ----ing tongue out.
I hope your pull out game is great.
[laughing]
[bleep] this bullsh--. Let's have some fun.
Let's shake some ass!
Let's go!
- Take it off! - [cheering]
I only have a debit card.
[dance music playing]
Pull 'em down.
Pull 'em down!
Pull my pants down.
You look ----ing good.
You're so disarming. I appreciate that.
This is part of, like, that, like, rizz that you have.
- No, no, no, no. - With all the girls.
[laughing] No, no, no.
- It's not manipulative-- - Wait, where did everyone go?
Oh!
Go crazy!
Let's go dance.
Or, like, let's go join them or something.
I feel so bad we're not, like, in it with them.
Oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh!
- SHAYNE: Let's go, let's go. - Okay.
We're not bad people, okay?
♪ Find me ♪
I don't give a [bleep].
♪ Taste me once ♪
♪ Need me ♪
♪ Like air breathing ♪
♪ Lights out, lay down your head ♪
♪ We are the monsters under your bed ♪
Oh, sh--.
[screeching]
♪ We are the monsters ♪
AUDREY: A very flirtatious bullet.
♪ We are the monsters ♪
She's pulling some petty sh--.
What a whore!
LISA: Next time on Vanderpump Rules...
Me? I am not getting undressed.
Those days are over.
Everybody say "penis pump" on three.
- Oh, my God. - You're just being
a little disrespectful talking all this sh--.
I know this information from your girl.
- Do you still love each other? - I don't--
Yes, I love her. I would do anything for her.
- No, you don't. - No, I love her.
I just don't like her.
Respect, time, and place.
- You broke my trust. - What trust is there?
I'm never gonna tell you anything
----ing important ever again.