1
00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:09,055
This program me contains strong
language and adult humour
2
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:34,895
Tonight on
8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown,
3
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,415
jon Richardson,
4
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:39,055
Rob Brydon,
5
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,015
Katherine Parkinson,
6
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,295
Babatunde Aleshe,
7
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,015
Adam Buxton,
8
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,055
Susie Dent,
9
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,055
Rachel Riley
10
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:52,815
and your host, jimmy Carr!
11
00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:59,455
Hello, and welcome to
8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown,
12
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,775
a show about letters,
numbers and conundrums.
13
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,415
OK, let's meet tonight's players.
14
00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,735
First up, it's Team Captain jon
Richardson.
15
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,975
APPLAUSE
16
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:12,935
jon says his comedy is
influenced by Lee Evans,
17
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:15,295
although unfortunatelyjon
wasn't influenced by
18
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:17,615
the part where Lee Evans
packed in standup
19
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,055
and hasn't been seen for a decade.
20
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,535
And Jon's team-mate,
it's Babatunde Aleshe.
21
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,895
APPLAUSE
22
00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:31,055
Babatunde says when he lived in
a rough part of Tottenham,
23
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,495
a sex worker once managed
to get into his house,
24
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,295
despite all the doors being locked.
25
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:37,255
At least that's what he told
his wife.
26
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,175
LAUGHTER
27
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,615
Is that a true story?
Yeah, 100% true story.
28
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:47,455
First of all, like, I was getting
ready for school and then... Ugh!
29
00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,695
I was getting ready for school
and then I turn around
30
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:55,095
and in my living room is this
sex worker and I'm like,
31
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:58,335
"Who the hell are you?
Ancl you need to leave now
32
00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:01,975
"because if my mom see's you, it's,
everyone's going to die",
33
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,055
right. And then my mum comes out
34
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,375
and my mum you know she's Nigerian
and my mum was like,
35
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,215
"Who the hell is this?"
36
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,055
and you know, I had to like, like,
kind of just be like,
37
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,055
"All right, go, go, go",
and just usher her out,
38
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,735
which now I'm explaining it makes
it sound like I invited
39
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,695
the person in,
which I didn't, but...
40
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,535
Right.
Yeah, that's how it happened.
41
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,855
But how did she get in if
the doors were locked?
42
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,175
I don't know. If my sister was here,
43
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,335
my sister would tell you
100% this happened.
44
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:28,775
ROB: Cos it was your sister?
45
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,575
LAUGHTER
46
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,895
That's certainly how it sounded,
Rob, yeah.
47
00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:39,095
I think, you know, Babatunde,
that's really HER story
48
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:42,055
to tell when SHE feels ready.
49
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,455
Up against them this evening,
it's Guest Team Captain Rob Brydon.
50
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,215
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
51
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,655
Rob used to do voice over work
for Euro Trash,
52
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:56,655
so if you're over the age of 35,
53
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,655
the chances are you've knocked one
out to those dulcet tones.
54
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,895
Jimmy, it's a pleasure
to see you in the flesh
55
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,175
and it is still flesh isn't it,
technically?
56
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,815
Percentage wise,
it is still flesh, isn't it?
57
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,055
And joining Rob tonight,
it's Katherine Parkinson.
58
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:19,815
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
59
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,415
Both Katherine and Rob have
acting backgrounds.
60
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:28,615
Katherine has appeared on
the West End stage and won a BAFTA
61
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,895
and Rob does a pretty decent
Ronnie Corbett.
62
00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,735
OK, Jon, what's your best feature?
63
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,615
Well, I asked my wife, cos she's
best placed to answer this question,
64
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,175
and she said, "Well, look, Jon,
you're not very handsome,
65
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,495
"you're not very tall
and your voice is irritating,
66
00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,455
"and, you're, erm, quite tight."
67
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,175
And then she left,
I haven't spoken to her since.
68
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,775
I think he's a you're
a very handsome man.
69
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,775
Rob, it's your... Er, what, sorry?
70
00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,415
I think he's a very handsome man.
71
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,695
Cor, she's quite the actress,
isn't she?
72
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,415
That really, like, felt like
she meant it.
73
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,135
Rob, are you going to be better at
the letters or the numbers?
74
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,335
I'd say this, I did,
at school I did further maths,
75
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:14,335
I called it further maths,
they called them resits.
76
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:18,855
Ancl this is interesting,
77
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,735
I've been doing some
of those online genealogy things
78
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,655
and I discovered I'm Welsh. Now...
79
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,375
We're very... we're very good
with words
80
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,295
and nine-letter words, to us,
is nothing.
81
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,615
Sometimes even with
a vowel in there.
82
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,055
So, sometimes... So words are good.
83
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,615
You know, at school,
84
00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,575
the words were so long, Adam,
they were so long....
85
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,095
How long were they? ..we didn't.
Well, I'll tell you, jimmy.
86
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,575
They were so long,
we didn't have school books,
87
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,815
we had rolls of wallpaper.
88
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,175
That's how long...
that's how long...
89
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,135
that's how long the words were.
That's the joke, jimmy.
90
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,895
OK.
LAUGHTER
91
00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,575
Katherine, are you easily
embarrassed?
92
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:05,015
Erm, I'm not actually,
err, but I am often
93
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,335
doing things that are embarrassing.
94
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,015
I remember a few years ago...
I really like musicals. Mm...
95
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,735
You must like musicals.
I love musicals, I love musicals.
96
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,775
Cos you've got a lovely singing
voice. Thank you.
97
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,895
I...
See how easy it is to be nice.
98
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:19,775
I'm just blown away by
the acting.
99
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,095
First he's handsome, now you can
sing.
100
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,855
She can do it all.
101
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:28,215
I decided in a pub to
start singing ump-papa from Oliver
102
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,055
and assumed everybody would join in
103
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:34,135
because that's what happens in
the film and they didn't join in
104
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:37,055
and I had to sing it through
to the end alone,
105
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,535
and I don't even know the words.
106
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,975
Give us the start,
we'll see if they join in.
107
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,895
Do you know this one?
I don't know that one, no.
108
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,255
You don't know the song?
ADAM: I know that one.
109
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,575
You know that one?
# Everyone... #
110
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,015
# Ump-papa, UmP'PaPa
111
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,495
OVER AFFECTS VOICE:
# Everyone knows... #
112
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,815
Oh, Jesus.
I didn't know it went like that.
113
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,055
No-one joined in with that?
114
00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,255
What happened to your voice when
you started singing?
115
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,895
Yeah, you got, like,
briefly possessed.
116
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,615
It took on the dialect, guys.
117
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,215
Can I hear that again?
118
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:07,815
Mm...
119
00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,815
# Ump-papa, UmP'PaPa
120
00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:12,535
OVER AFFECTS VOICE:
# Everyone knows... #
121
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,535
I didn't know Dot Cotton was
in Oliver.
122
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:20,535
OK, Babatunde,
when you did I'm a Celebrity,
123
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,495
what was the... what was the hardest
thing about being in the jungle?
124
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:24,815
Matt Hancock.
125
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,135
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
126
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:32,935
I was at Oxford with Matt.
127
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,975
ADAM: Why did no-one on the show
refer to him as Man Cock?
128
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,295
You knew him, Katherine?
129
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,695
I was at University with Matt.
130
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:44,375
Did you know him when you were
at University? Yeah.
131
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,335
Ancl was he was he a dynamic kind of
sexy guy then as well?
132
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,695
Really, really sexy, really dynamic.
Was he?
133
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:51,215
Really good looking
and a great singer.
134
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:52,575
What sort of person was he?
135
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,335
Katherine, have you got a mascot?
136
00:06:58,360 --> 00:06:59,935
I've brought my, um...
137
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,815
I've got two children
and I've brought their, erm, teeth.
138
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,455
ADAM: Their teeth?
139
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:10,815
Err, just their baby teeth, which
are here still with blood on them.
140
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,615
I'm not going to lie, that is mad
weird. KATHERINE: Thank you.
141
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,295
Good lord, how many have you got?
142
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,695
It's like something
from Pirates of the Caribbean.
143
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,095
I don't want to touch it. No, no.
144
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:27,895
Ancl what's wrong with my children's
teeth? They... I feel like, erm...
145
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,255
It looks like desiccated coconut.
146
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,335
I'd like to make sort
of necklace or, erm...
147
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,455
I think making a necklace is
an excellent idea, yeah.
148
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,215
Yeah, that's the way forward.
149
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,055
OK, err, )on have you got a mascot'?
150
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,415
Sometimes I forget,
151
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,975
obviously I'm known as a
cardigan-wearing anagram fan,
152
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,375
but I'm also one of Britain's
leading erotic novelists...
153
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,775
...as you'll know from my
sexual cleaning books,
154
00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,095
the deep clean trilogy, erm,
155
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:58,575
volume one, Around the Rim:
Confessions of a Toilet Cleaner,
156
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:03,015
and Hot White Loads: Tales from...
Tales from the Laundrette.
157
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,615
Errn, so I went into
the erotic novel thing
158
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,615
and then I realised that
everyone wants...
159
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,575
It's all bloody murder
mysteries now, isn't it?
160
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:12,895
So I've written a book about
161
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,655
a killer who infects some
cleaning products.
162
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,895
Err, it's called A Bad Case of Cif.
163
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,455
And it's about a guy who
gets some Cif,
164
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,815
and he puts poison in it,
so it kills people.
165
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,735
And if I put some
product placement in there,
166
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,015
I get money from the company.
167
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,855
And I'm going to read you some now,
a little exert,
168
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:35,575
and I have snuck
a few brands in there.
169
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,375
I don't know if you can spot it.
170
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:43,895
"'Get in that toilet, duck', she
said in her thick Nottingham accent,
171
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,895
"by which I mean her accent
was strong,
172
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,175
"not that all people from
Nottingham sound thick.
173
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:53,895
"'Get them cords down,
this will be over in a Flash."'
174
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:57,575
Oh, and I should point out the lead
character is loosely based on me.
175
00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:03,495
"DCI Juan Rico lowered his pants
as far as his knees
176
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:07,375
to prevent any of the fabric
touching the dirty cubicle floor.
177
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:11,455
"'Aren't you going to rubber up?'
178
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:15,815
"He raised both hands and wiggled
his yellow fingers?
179
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,335
"'| already did it..."'
180
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:20,295
Oh, no, he's Spanish sorry.
181
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,175
IN SPANISH ACCENT:
"'| already did it.
182
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,215
"'| put on my Marigolds
before I touched
183
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,935
"'the toilet door handle'.
184
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,295
IN NOTTINGHAM ACCENT:
"'Not your hands, that,'
185
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,615
"she cried, pointing at
his perfectly normal
186
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,135
"and bang on the average size penis.
187
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,295
IN SPANISH ACCENT:
"'I don't understand,
188
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,135
"'| would need five penis
to fill the glove.'
189
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:47,375
IN NOTTINGHAM ACCENT: "'| mean a
condom, you cloth-eared idiot.'
190
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:51,175
"Juan measured his need to get laid
up against his hatred
191
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,575
"of single-use plastics.
192
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,895
IN SPANISH ACCENT:
"'Sorry, baby' he said,
193
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,335
"'| just love the Oceans too much,'
194
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:02,335
"at which point he emptied his
jeyes Fluid into the bowl."
195
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:05,255
LAUGHTER
196
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,895
Oh, that is awful.
197
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,855
It's actually an outdoor cleaner,
jeyes Fluid, for patios,
198
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:14,455
but I didn't think
the lay reader would know that.
199
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,815
So, that'll be out, erm,
that's not going out, is it?
200
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,095
Babatunde, you got a mascot?
201
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,535
I do. When I started
my stand up, erm, journey,
202
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,735
I started on
the black comedy circuit.
203
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,575
Whenever, like, you know you're
in a black comedy show,
204
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,175
we always have a DJ,
and we have a lot of sound effects.
205
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,535
So, you know a lot of
the times if someone says like
206
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:37,375
a really cool punch line,
you'll hear like a massive err,
207
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:41,055
sound effect. So, I've brought a
beat machine with some sound effects
208
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,455
to make and recreate the black
comedy circuit on this show,
209
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,895
on Countdown. So, any time
someone says something funny,
210
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,215
you'll just hear a...
211
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,255
KLAXON BLARES
212
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,735
You get me?
If I get an answer right...
213
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,535
EXPLOSION
214
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:57,975
You get me? You like that, don't
you, bro? I know you like that, bro.
215
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,295
EXPLOSION
216
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,815
You like that?
RAPID GUNFIRE, EXPLOSION
217
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,255
You get me, Jon? Come on, big me up.
218
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,575
KLAXON BLARES
219
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,895
Yes, come on!
APPLAUSE
220
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,695
Rob, have you got a mascot?
221
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,535
Yes, I've brought
a mascot tonight.
222
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:21,535
Um, we're in a precarious profession
and we're always open,
223
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,375
all of us as performers,
224
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,055
to the slings and arrows of
outrageous fortune,
225
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:27,455
not my words of course.
226
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,815
Um, it can be hard
to keep your spirits up.
227
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:34,175
What I do is I like to remind myself
of some of my best work.
228
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,135
As you know,
229
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:39,495
I've clone a few voice overs
for products over the years.
230
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,535
I carry this around with me.
231
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:45,655
I call it my Wheel of Dignity
232
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:48,855
and this... this is
to remind me of some of
233
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,455
the wonderful products that
I've endorsed
234
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,175
if I'm feeling a little low
235
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:56,335
and I know you've struggled
with feelings of self-worth.
236
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:59,495
LAUGHTER
237
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,935
So, here, for example,
this top one,
238
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,935
"Bounty, taste the exotic."
239
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,215
That was me.
240
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,455
"You know when you've been Tangoed,"
241
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,935
that was me.
Was that you?
242
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,815
Yeah. "Ribena, with no added sugar".
243
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,495
That was me.
244
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,015
They don't need added sugar,
245
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:21,055
it's got fucking loads of
sugar in any way.
246
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:26,015
"Kellogg's Crunchy Nut Cornflakes,
they are ludicrously tasty."
247
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:27,735
That, I think, might be the
greatest.
248
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,135
ADAM: That's the classic.
249
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,575
"Philadelphia with chives." Ooh.
250
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:35,895
That was me.
"Gaviscon cool. What a feeling."
251
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,655
Perhaps my best,
"New Toilet Duck Active Liquid,
252
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,255
"goes on cleaning flush after
flush."
253
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,935
EXPLOSION
254
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,575
That's a lot of voice overs.
255
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,175
See in store for details.
256
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,455
Well, you do a very good fast read
of the terms and conditions.
257
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,455
I certainly do, yeah.
"See in store for details.
258
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,295
"Your home may be at risk if
you don't keep up repayments."
259
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,415
And that's Ribena?
260
00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:06,775
The way... Yeah.
261
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,575
LAUGHTER
262
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:12,015
What was your Euro Trash voice?
I can't remember,
263
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,455
but it was all... it wasn't a great
show, let's be honest.
264
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,695
It fucking was. I loved that.
Did you? I loved it.
265
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,095
It's the best thing you've ever
done, Rob. No.
266
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:23,455
My memory of it is it was on just
after school though. Was it on?
267
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,815
No, what time were you getting
home from school?
268
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,895
It was a hell of a commute,
Katherine. It was late, wasn't it?
269
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:31,255
Yeah, it was, it was like
11 o'clock on Channel 4.
270
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,575
It was always, it was kind
of clubbed films, wasn't it,
271
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:34,975
of Helmut and Yolanda,
272
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,215
say two German swingers showing
me around their dungeon.
273
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,295
But it would be in German,
so I'd be saying,
274
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,375
err, I don't know,
275
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:46,815
"Helmut and Helga enjoy time
"together at the weekend".
276
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,095
and they'd go...
277
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,855
SPEAKS IN MADE-UP GERMAN
278
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,975
OK, over in Dictionary Corner,
it's Adam Buxton.
279
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,215
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
280
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,775
Adam's been hosting his
own podcast since 2015.
281
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,415
I'd like to put Adam's podcast on
in the car,
282
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,695
then I go back in the house
and watch telly.
283
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,695
Adam, you're a father of three.
What is family life like?
284
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:15,135
It's all right.
My children are now teenagers,
285
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:18,095
and we can play word games together,
yes!
286
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,815
This is one of the word games
that we play,
287
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,255
and the challenge is to be
288
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,655
the first person, when you
randomise the lettered dice,
289
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:29,695
to make words of four letters
or more,
290
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:33,375
and my 19-year-old son is
getting quite good at it,
291
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:37,735
but his technique is to just sort of
try out made-up words
292
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,175
and hope that they exist.
293
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:43,535
Some of the words that he's come up
with recently have been err, Sherm,
294
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,895
that is not a real word,
295
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:49,695
but it is a bit of slang, which,
err, maybe, jimmy,
296
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,695
you and I are familiar with from
the old days before vapes.
297
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:57,535
It means dipping
a cigarette in PCP. That's a sherm.
298
00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:58,735
KATHERINE: That's a sherm?
299
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,055
Let's all have a sherm after
the show.
300
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,295
Where's the sound effect?
301
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:05,095
Nah, man, that's not cool.
I'm not going to lie.
302
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:07,415
Another word that he tried
303
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,215
to play recently, which we did not
allow him, was "quank".
304
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,095
Mm...
305
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,335
Are you familiar with that one?
There is a quank. There is a quank?
306
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:16,655
A quank and a swank and...
307
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,575
Well, a quank, as far as I'm aware,
308
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,895
is a harsh croaking
or honking cry...
309
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,455
Ah. ..uttered by a bird or animal.
310
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,935
I just assumed that it was
a big of slang.
311
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:29,375
I would imagine that there is
a quank in the urban dictionary,
312
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:33,775
along the lines of, you know,
in between my gym
313
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,655
and therapy sessions I had just
enough time for a quank.
314
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,695
Adam Buxton, everyone.
APPLAUSE
315
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,015
Yeah.
316
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,655
And with Adam, of course,
it's Susie Dent.
317
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,535
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
318
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,535
I got Susie's latest book,
319
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,895
and I couldn't put it down.
I took it to the vet,
320
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:57,255
I hit it with a shovel, I tried to
kill it in a bucket,
321
00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:59,615
but sadly,
I just couldn't put it down.
322
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,535
Susie, do you have any traditions
on regular Countdown
323
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,335
that you don't bring
across to this show?
324
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:06,535
Well, we take the game seriously,
that's one tradition.
325
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:08,895
Sometimes it does go into
Cats territory.
326
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:13,295
So, erm, we had "nematode" for eight
last week,
327
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,735
which was one of Rachel's favourites
because it's a little worm
328
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,455
and I tried to explain that
it's good for gardening
329
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:23,255
and I explained it as,
"|f you, like me, have a problem
330
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:27,575
"with moths in your box
hedge", erm, which I do.
331
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,975
Ancl they won a teapot,
that's my favourite bit.
332
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,895
Do you not win a teapot on this
one? SUSIE: No.
333
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,895
ADAM: You just get a cigarette
dipped in PCP.
334
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,535
And in charge of
the numbers is Rachel Riley.
335
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,335
APPLAUSE
336
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,815
Rachel, have you got any life hacks
you could share with us?
337
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,135
The number one life hack would be
don't have kids.
338
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,015
My second life hack,
339
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,375
if you've obviously already made
that mistake,
340
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,735
then you have to find out ways
to make things cheaper.
341
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,415
I found that, urn,
last time we took them on holiday,
342
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,415
there was like a kids play area,
343
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,735
and you have to take your shoes off
before you go in,
344
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:06,295
and my kids absolutely loved it
345
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:09,255
because they like trying on
other kids' shoes.
346
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,575
So, instead of, you know,
347
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:14,895
paying and going on holiday we
just take them to TK Maxx,
348
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,455
it's the shoe isle,
just like hours of fun.
349
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,335
I'm not sure if that's a life hack,
350
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:23,255
or if we should call
Social Services.
351
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,615
OK, and the prize
the teams will be competing
352
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,815
for tonight is this,
the Countdown Butter Churn.
353
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,055
APPLAUSE AND WHOOPING
354
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,775
OK, lets Countdown, everyone.
Time for our first game.
355
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:43,095
Err, jon and Babatunde, you get the
first pick of the letters.
356
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:46,135
Oh, sick, I get to do this?
Oh, sick this is dope.
357
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,295
All right. Let me get, er,
let me get a consonant.
358
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:50,415
We can indeed.
359
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,895
We can start with T.
360
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,575
Get a vowel.
361
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:54,615
E
362
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,015
Another vowel.
363
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,615
Ll
364
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,175
Consonant.
365
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,215
S
366
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:01,375
Consonant.
367
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:02,415
IV!
368
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:03,655
Let me get a vowel.
369
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:04,895
O
370
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:06,335
Er, get a consonant, please.
371
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:07,375
J
372
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,055
And a consonant.
373
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,095
K
374
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,135
Ancl a consonant again.
375
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,535
And the last one...T.
376
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,935
Rachel, while they're doing that,
shall we work on our robots?
377
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,455
Yeah, why not?
Right, lovely.
378
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,215
OK? Yep. Oh, sorry,
your time starts now.
379
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,095
Oh, my God.
380
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,095
I finished mine, do you
wanna have a look?
381
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,575
Mine... Hang on, I'll show you,
mine does a little dance, look.
382
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,655
Oh, that's quite cute.
383
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,695
It is cute, isn't it?
Have you finished yours, Rachel?
384
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:09,735
Errn, yeah, hang on one sec,
I'm just gonna bring it on.
385
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,255
LOUD WHOOSHING
386
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,175
APPLAUSE
387
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,215
Don't touch me, blud.
388
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,575
just touch Jon.
389
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,415
If I piss, I could die.
390
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:44,975
Jon, you OK?
391
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,295
What do you think?!
392
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,735
This is what jimmy's gonna look
like in about two more goes.
393
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,535
All right, go on, get it
to fuck off. All right.
394
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,975
That was super dignified, Babatunde,
395
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,335
when you ran away from the
pretend robot.
396
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:19,135
I don't give a flying toss, bruv!
Super dignified.
397
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,295
You ran around the studio.
398
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,215
Listen, I'm from Tottenham and
we run, you understand?
399
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,735
That was genuinely frightening.
400
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,535
I hadn't looked up through
the whole of the round,
401
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,015
so the first I saw of it
was when it was there
402
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,615
and do you know what?
I wasn't expecting it.
403
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,175
I was fine with it.
No, you were not! I weren't.
404
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,535
OK.
405
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,295
Jon, how many letters?
Er, six.
406
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,015
OK. Babatunde, how many? Five.
Rob, how many?
407
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,335
Seven . . five-letter words .
408
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,495
I'll put five.
Katherine, how many?
409
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,815
I've got seven five-letter words.
410
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,175
Wahey! We've done well. Boom!
411
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,655
Babatunde, what's your five?
412
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,935
Mine is SMOKE. Rob?
413
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,255
STOKE
414
00:20:58,280 --> 00:20:59,695
Katherine, your five?
415
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,975
MUTES, M-U-T-E-S.
416
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:02,855
SUSIE: Yeah.
417
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,495
Er, Jon, for the points, your six?
418
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:05,695
MUSKET
419
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,775
Yeah. Very good. Oh, great word!
420
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,495
Musket. A six forjon.
APPLAUSE
421
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,295
OK, Adam, Susie, could they have
done any better?
422
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,695
Six was the best.
So at the end of that,
423
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,615
jon and Babatunde are in the lead
with six points.
424
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,975
OK, onto our first numbers round.
425
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,855
Rob, Katherine, you get the pick of
the numbers.
426
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,495
What are we gonna go with first?
427
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,855
Can we have one from the top
and five from the bottom, please?
428
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,855
You can. One large, five little.
OK, you make all the decisions.
429
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,615
I didn't think you knew what to say.
430
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,895
I've no idea. So, I stepped in.
Ancl we'll have another one, please.
431
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,855
Another one. Right, little ones,
432
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:44,135
6, 7,
433
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,215
9, 5,
434
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,535
10, and the big one, 50.
Right, I'd better write these down.
435
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,055
Yeah. The target you need, 804.
Oh, God, I feel sick.
436
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,695
OK, and your time starts... Give us
a second, hang on a second,
437
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,135
wait a minute. I feel sick. ..now.
438
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,375
Oh, my God!
439
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:31,415
just as the time was running out,
he went, "Do something!"
440
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,255
OK. So, the target was
441
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,335
804. Jon, did you get it? I did,
yeah. Did you do something?
442
00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:39,295
WE'VE got it. Yeah, WE'VE got it.
443
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,055
We've got it.
We're a team over here.
444
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:42,135
OK. Rob, did you get it?
445
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,135
I'm close. How close, are you?
446
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,375
I'm 3,690.
447
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,615
Katherine, did you get it?
448
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:50,815
I got 782.
449
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,095
No. No. So, jon, how did you get it?
450
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:56,175
10+6
451
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,775
x50
452
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:58,815
8OO
453
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,095
And9-5
ll-
454
00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:02,295
Yeah.
455
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,415
Ten points tojon!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
456
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:09,775
Do you want my, my one that's not as
close, or do you not need that now?
457
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,135
Sorry, do I want your wrong answer?
458
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:13,415
Yes.
459
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,655
Obviously, we don't want your
wrong answer. OK. Cool.
460
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,975
So, so far, Rob and Katherine have
no points,
461
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,215
they have yet to score.
462
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,135
jon and Babatunde are in
the lead with 16.
463
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,375
APPLAUSE
464
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:27,775
And here is your teaser.
465
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:31,095
The words are BATHE ROB. The clue
is, works best if you're naked.
466
00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:33,415
That's BATHE ROB - works best
if you're naked.
467
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,215
See you after the break.
468
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,175
Welcome back.
The answer to the teaser -
469
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,295
the words were BATHE ROB,
470
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,255
the clue was, works best
if you're naked -
471
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,815
it was, of course, BATH ROBE.
472
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,175
So, jon and Babatunde
are in the lead.
473
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,975
They've been playing in teams
so far, but this game is
474
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,895
just for Rob and Babatunde.
475
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,575
So, Rob, your turn to choose.
476
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,375
Consonant, please, Rachel.
477
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:09,415
F
478
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,295
Rachel, a vowel, please.
479
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:12,695
Stop saying Rachel!
E.
480
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,655
I would like a consonant, please,
Rachel.
481
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:15,695
Yeah.
482
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:16,815
R
483
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,095
Rachel, could I have a vowel?
484
00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:20,335
A
485
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,815
Ancl I'm just gonna ask Rachel
for a consonant, please, Rachel.
486
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:24,975
Yep.
487
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,055
S
488
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:27,495
Vowel, Rachel.
489
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:28,775
E
490
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,695
Rachel, I would like a consonant.
Hm-mm.
491
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:32,735
P
492
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,015
Another consonant, please, Rachel.
493
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:36,215
N
494
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,535
Rachel, a vowel, please.
And...
495
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:39,695
lovely choosing,
496
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,175
a final I.
497
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,215
Jon, shall we play on the arcades
if you're not on this one? Yeah.
498
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,055
That's it. All right, your time
starts...now.
499
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,535
Still keeping all your gold in
your pockets.
500
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,735
Rob, what did you get?
501
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:39,175
All I could come up with
is a six-letter word. A six.
502
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,575
Which is, I think, quite good.
503
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,295
How many? Six. Six. Oh, wow.
504
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:43,615
What was your six, Rob?
505
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,935
It's something I like
to shower you with
506
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,575
on a regular basis,
507
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:48,895
PRAISE
508
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:50,695
Ooh!
509
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:53,335
Ba batunde?
510
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:54,935
I got ERASER.
511
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,415
You need two Rs.
512
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:57,535
Oh!
513
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,815
Oh, that's a shame.
514
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:01,295
Six points to Rob.
515
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,895
OK, Adam, Susie, could they have
done any better?
516
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,215
You could have had REFINES.
517
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:12,535
Oh, wow.
For seven.
518
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,175
OK, time for Katherine and jon
to go head-to-head.
519
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,735
Jon, your turn to pick the numbers.
520
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:18,215
How many big ones do you like?
521
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,055
I like the smallest number
of big ones.
522
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,295
OK. No big ones, please.
523
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,455
Oh, no! No, not that.
524
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,735
Can you have no big ones? Yeah.
525
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:29,975
Is that an option?
526
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,055
Don't you host this show?
527
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,735
Yeah. Fun fact, never seen it.
528
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,495
Let's go no big.
529
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,295
And then the next round,
no consonants.
530
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:42,775
All right, your six little ones,
531
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:44,135
2, 5,
532
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:45,935
1,9,
533
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,655
6 and 7. The 2 and the 1
aren't great.
534
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:50,015
And the target...
535
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:51,455
748
536
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:54,495
Your time starts now.
537
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:00,295
Katherine, I can't help
with this, I'm sorry.
538
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:02,655
I'm not allowed to help you
with this.
539
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:26,375
Did you do it, Jon?
540
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:27,575
I got 742.
541
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:28,855
Katherine?
542
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,175
I can't, I can't remember
if I've used the 5,
543
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,575
so just give me a moment, please.
544
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:34,335
Sure, sure.
545
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,135
665
546
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,655
But I can't remember how I did
it, so you can't ask me.
547
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,495
665 but you can't remember how
you did it. Yeah.
548
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,095
Well, it doesn't fucking matter.
549
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:55,775
Jon, for five points,
how did you get 742?
550
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,695
5x2=10.
Yeah.
551
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,575
Ancl then 9 +1 =10.
I could've clone that. Yeah.
552
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,935
1OX10= 100
553
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,335
100+6
554
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:05,415
106
555
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,135
106x7
=742
556
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,375
Blimey!
557
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,095
Five points tojon.
558
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,095
Rachel, could it be done?
559
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:17,495
It could be done.
560
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,255
7x6=42
561
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,695
OK. 42 x 9 378
562
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,175
Well, I think we all know that!
563
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,575
5-124
564
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,575
378-4= 374
565
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:30,735
374X2
566
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,735
So, whoa, whoa, whoa! Go back to
that, go back to the 378.
567
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:37,495
I was with you to that. So, it was
the - 4 that was hard.
568
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,655
OK. Rachel Riley, everyone.
APPLAUSE
569
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,375
OK, time now to go across
to Dictionary Corner.
570
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,735
Adam Buxton, what do you have
for us?
571
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:56,695
One of my favourite things that
I watched in recent years
572
00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:00,695
was the coronation of one
of my favourite influencers,
573
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,615
K Charles and...
574
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,095
Did you love that as much as I did?
Loved it.
575
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,975
Of course, you did!
What did you like more,
576
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,815
the pomp or the circumstance?
577
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,415
Personally, I love the pomp
578
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:17,495
and I should think K Charles did
too. In fact, I know he loves pomp.
579
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:19,455
# I love it
I love it
580
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:21,495
# Pomp it, pomp it, POmP it
581
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,415
# I love it
I love it
582
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,055
# Nice
583
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,375
# I love it
I love it
584
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:28,575
# Ooh, yes
585
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,055
# Gimme, gimme
I love it
586
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,815
# Nice
Pomp it, pomp it, pomp it. #
587
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,775
I've got hours more of that.
588
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:41,455
But what few people realise is that
there was another exciting
589
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:44,575
celebration going on elsewhere
590
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:47,215
for this man here on the right,
591
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:50,335
and I know he looks very similar
to the one on the left,
592
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,615
but it is Regnon, Galactic Ruler
593
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,775
of the 12 Dimensions of Zantiar,
594
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,735
as well as Kozok
and the outer lands,
595
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:02,295
and recently it was
Regnon's birthday
596
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:05,575
and Regnon had an amazing
celebration in the great hall
597
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:08,015
and I wanted to show you
598
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:11,855
a few highlights from that
exciting ceremony.
599
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:15,975
Now, on this special day,
600
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,415
it is time for Regnon
601
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:20,095
to receive his presents.
602
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:21,735
Someone has got him
603
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:25,015
a kill sphere with
a Bluetooth speaker.
604
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:30,175
Thank you, Squelch. There you go.
605
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,975
You got it there? Hold it nice
and steady while it pairs.
606
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,295
CHIMING
607
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:40,015
Your kill sphere is now ready
to vanquish your enemies
608
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:43,455
and stream your favourite jams.
It's a really nice gift.
609
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:44,975
Thank you, Squelch.
610
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:49,735
Now, GeneralZweink I think has got
you a glove.
611
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,815
MUMBLES
612
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:56,215
Glove...
613
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,615
glove...glove.
614
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:04,055
Glove...
615
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,535
Thank you, Zweink.
I think he really likes it.
616
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:11,495
So, a lucky galactic ruler
has been given
617
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:13,935
a staff of ultimate power,
618
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:17,735
just like the one that laid waste to
the shadow realms of Gorthrax
619
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,055
and it's got a Biro on
the end as well.
620
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,775
An cl, cheers,
621
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,935
that's the WiFi booster that you
asked for.
622
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,295
With any luck,
you will never again have
623
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,935
to torture your servants when
Ted Lasso starts buffering.
624
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:37,215
And now Regnon's friend
Graham has asked to sing
625
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,815
a special song,
626
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,735
although he is tired
and has been at the pub.
627
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:50,815
WARBLING
628
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,295
Hmm...
LICKS LIPS
629
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:59,055
LOUD Y AWN
630
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,615
BURP!
Oh, excuse me.
631
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:03,935
GROANS
632
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:05,095
BURP!
633
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:14,015
BURPING CONTINUES
634
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:21,655
There's a good chance that
will spell death for Graham.
635
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,735
There's 14 more hours of that.
636
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:25,815
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
637
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,295
Great. Adam Buxton, everyone.
638
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:32,735
And here is your teaser.
639
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,095
The words are PURE TURD
and the clue is - what a mess.
640
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,735
That's PURE TURD - what a mess.
See you after the break.
641
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,415
APPLAUSE
642
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:50,175
APPLAUSE
643
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:54,975
Welcome back.
644
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,415
The answer to the teaser,
the words were PURE TURD,
645
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:58,895
the clue was - what a mess.
646
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,655
It was, of course, RUPTURED.
RUPTURED!
647
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:02,975
LAUGHTER
648
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,055
Sorry. She got it. She got it.
649
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,775
Before we go on, we have
a special treat for everyone.
650
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:15,135
It's the Countdown Magician,
the Great Alfonso!
651
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:16,695
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
652
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:39,815
Well, hello, the Great Alfonso.
653
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:40,815
Ah, God!
654
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,895
You all right? Hello.
655
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:46,175
All right, jimmy? 0h, Crap-
656
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,375
Why are you on a quad bike?
657
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:51,535
Arghg
658
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:53,975
Er... Oh, crap.
659
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,375
Oh, crap, crap, crap.
660
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:57,895
Arghg
661
00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,495
Er, thing is, jimmy,
662
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:04,135
there's a lot of magicians out there
and you have to stand out, and, er,
663
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,455
I was going to learn
a few tricks, but, er,
664
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:07,735
I couldn't be arsed so I just...
665
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:09,535
Arghg
666
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,615
I just thought I'd be the first, er,
667
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,895
first magician on a quad bike.
668
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,135
Arghg
669
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:18,815
CRASH!
Oh, Shit.
670
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:22,215
But it's harder than it looks
so I've, er...
671
00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:23,815
I'm absolutely exhausted.
672
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:26,495
Ah, God.
673
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:27,735
Do you want to come back on set?
674
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:29,415
I'll be honest, I'm not sure I can.
675
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:33,335
HORN HONKS
Oh, sorry.
676
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,655
I've got a horn.
HORN HONKS
677
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:37,335
Fine, do it there.
678
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:40,495
Er, all right. Well, I was going to
do a couple of quad bike tricks,
679
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,015
but I've lost confidence.
680
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,775
Er, Fabio, do you want to go on
and get the ball rolling?
681
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,495
Do your fuckin' dumb trick. Oh, God.
682
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:51,935
Hurry UP!
683
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:53,335
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
684
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,415
I did tell you
you needed a new clove.
685
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:08,855
The idea was, Jimmy,
686
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,175
it was meant to fly
around the studio
687
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,775
and then land back on his arm,
688
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,935
but he's held that clove for a month.
689
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:20,615
He wouldn't put it down, so that's
what you're fucking left with.
690
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,295
Don't just stand there, get off!
Piss off.
691
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:24,695
No, get off!
692
00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:26,335
APPLAUSE
Off!
693
00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:31,535
You anus.
694
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,175
Right, I'll try a quad-based
card trick. Are you ready?
695
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:35,255
I guess so, yeah.
696
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,175
ENGINE REVS
Ah, fucking hell, here we go.
697
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:38,855
That was meant to go for...
698
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,575
Argh! Shit!
699
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:43,175
Shit, shit, shit...
700
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:46,415
VOICE RECEDES: ..Shit, Shit, Shit...
701
00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:50,175
Do we know if he's coming back?
702
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:53,255
Let's just carry on with the game.
703
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,175
jon, your turn to choose
the letters.
704
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:57,455
HORN HONKS
705
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:03,015
Oh! Here we go. Here we go.
706
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:05,815
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
We got it sorted...
707
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:26,415
HORN HONKS
708
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:30,975
That's fucked that, then.
709
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,455
Let's play Countdown!
710
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:34,615
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
711
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:36,535
HORN HONKS
712
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,495
OK, on with the game.
Jon, your pick of the letters.
713
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,055
Could we have a consonant, please?
714
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:47,375
Yeah. Shall I do vowelies?
715
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:48,975
Sure, yeah. Here's a consonant.
716
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:50,255
G
717
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,895
And a consonant, please.
Bouncier chair than usual, sorry.
718
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:55,975
R
719
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,255
And another consonant, please.
720
00:36:58,280 --> 00:36:59,215
Are you not letting me have a go?
721
00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:00,895
L
722
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,055
Are you pissed off at me, Jon?
723
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:05,535
I just feel like you
might fuck it up.
724
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:06,735
I bet I don't!
725
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,015
All right, big boy,
let's have a vowel.
726
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:15,695
It's a, er...
727
00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:17,975
It's an A.
728
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,695
Whoa!
729
00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:22,495
Another vowel, please.
730
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:23,735
It's an O.
731
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:25,655
And a consonant, please.
732
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:26,935
C.
733
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,455
And another consonant, please.
734
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:30,815
F
735
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:32,415
And a vowel, please.
736
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:33,695
Ooh, COMB.
737
00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:36,695
And a consonant, please.
And a final...
738
00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:37,735
D
739
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,015
Your time starts now.
740
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,255
Are you going to clean that up?
741
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:49,255
No.
742
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,815
I'm not in the mood.
743
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:54,655
I've had a stressful clay, jimmy.
744
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:11,175
OK, Jon, how many?
745
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:14,055
Oh, only a six. Babatunde?
746
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,375
Six. Six. Katherine?
747
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:17,655
Six. Rob?
748
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:19,135
Six. Katherine, your six?
749
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,895
GRACED. GRACED, wonderful.
750
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:23,255
Babatunde, what have you got?
751
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:24,335
FORCED
752
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:25,775
OK. Rob, your six?
753
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,495
I went for...GRACED.
754
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:29,975
LAUGHTER
755
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,735
Quite similar to Katherine's.
756
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,295
Identical. jon, your six.
757
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,575
I used the D twice.
758
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,615
Don't I always?
759
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:40,575
But I haven't got a six.
760
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,495
Well, six points to both teams.
761
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:43,615
APPLAUSE
762
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:44,615
Hey, we've got 12.
763
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,335
Adam, Susie, could they have done
any better?
764
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:51,575
Susie has written DOGFACE.
765
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,255
What, sorry? That's not a word.
LAUGHTER
766
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:57,535
It's a US soldier, an infantryman.
767
00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:59,055
A DOGFACE? A DOGFACE.
768
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:02,615
So, at the end of that,
jon and Babatunde are in the lead
769
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:04,375
with 27 points.
770
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,895
APPLAUSE
771
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,255
OK, time to go, once again,
to Dictionary Corner.
772
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:10,735
Adam, what have you got
for us this time?
773
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:13,935
Well, I've got a special life hack
for anyone in
774
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,335
a long-term relationship.
775
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:20,375
I myself have been living with
the same woman for 25 years
776
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:24,815
and there's bound to be a few
disagreements, especially if
777
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:28,135
the other person is someone who
thinks that proper cutlery drawer
778
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:31,655
segregation "feels racist". Er...
779
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,055
Now, I'm glad to say that me
780
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:38,295
and my wife argue a lot less than
we used to, and part of the reason
781
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:39,775
for that is that we're quite mature,
782
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,935
we talk through our disagreements
calmly and honestly,
783
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:47,375
but I think another important factor
has been my decision to keep a log
784
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,135
of all the arguments that we have.
785
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:54,575
These are some of the more recent
entries in the argument log.
786
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:59,175
Subject of argument: Being moody.
787
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,495
Main points - Buckles, that's me:
788
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:05,415
"I don't understand why you're
so moody," I say to wife.
789
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,215
Main points - wife:
"You're the one that's moody.
790
00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:10,695
"|t's like a toxic cloud.
791
00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:13,735
"I don't think you realise
how moody you are?"
792
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,255
Rebuttal - Buckles:
793
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,535
"You were moody first.
794
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:19,855
"|'m moody because you're moody.
795
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:22,255
"|'m normally fun,
like on my podcast.
796
00:40:23,720 --> 00:40:27,055
"|n fact, right now,
you're gaslighting me."
797
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:29,615
Winner of that argument: Buckles.
798
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,895
Subject of argument:
Whose family is more dysfunctional?
799
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:36,855
Main points - wife:
800
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:38,775
"Yours is."
801
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:40,335
Main points - Buckles:
802
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:41,815
"Yours is."
803
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:43,095
Winner: Buckles.
804
00:40:44,720 --> 00:40:46,375
Subject of argument:
805
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:50,775
Wife updating me on which friends
and family members have cancer
806
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,135
just before scheduled
marital relations.
807
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:58,295
Main points - Buckles:
"It's not exactly sexy."
808
00:40:58,320 --> 00:40:59,615
Main points - wife:
809
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:03,975
"|t's the only time we get
to discuss important things."
810
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,855
Winner: Buckles.
811
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,935
And finally, subject of argument:
812
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:14,415
Wife leaving dirty plates and coffee
mugs by the sink to clean later.
813
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:16,055
Main points - Buckles:
814
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:19,255
"I always think it's better
to clean as you go."
815
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:20,695
Main points - wife:
816
00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:23,935
"I always think it's better
to fuck while you off."
817
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:25,415
LAUGHTER
818
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,655
But on the whole,
it's a good system.
819
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,335
Adam Buxton.
820
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:33,335
APPLAUSE
821
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,295
Ancl here is your final teaser.
822
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:41,855
The words are HE STRIPS.
The clue is - it's a hairy one.
823
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:44,135
That's HE STRIPS - it's a hairy one.
824
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:45,255
See you after the break.
825
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:46,695
APPLAUSE
826
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:56,455
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
827
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:04,055
Welcome back. The answer to the
teaser, the words were HE STRIPS,
828
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:06,815
the clue was - it's a hairy one.
It was, of course...
829
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,135
HIPSTERS. Well done, Katherine.
830
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:10,815
LAUGHTER
I did just read that.
831
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,455
Reading's good too. Well done.
832
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:15,375
OK, time for our final letters game.
833
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,655
Rob, Katherine, your turn to choose.
834
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,055
Ooh, I've found a pack of cards.
835
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:23,495
Can I have a consonant, please?
Of course. OK.
836
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:26,135
Do you want to see a card trick,
Rachel? T. Yeah, of course.
837
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,495
You can carry on, it's not
exactly hard. Pick a card.
838
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:30,855
Sorry, carry on. Can I have
another consonant, please?
839
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:32,735
Pick a card.
Don't show me, don't show me.
840
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:34,135
All right, OK. Y.
841
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:35,495
Can I have a vowel, please?
842
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:36,575
U
843
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:37,975
Can I have another
consonant, please?
844
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:39,135
R
845
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:41,095
There's no way I could have seen
your card, right? No.
846
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:42,455
So, how...
847
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:44,855
A vowel, please.
848
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:46,255
...how do you explain...
849
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:47,655
LAUGHTER
850
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:52,655
And another vowel, please.
851
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:54,575
How do you explain me doing this?
852
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:55,575
E
853
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:00,775
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
854
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:10,015
Was your card the three of diamonds?
855
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:11,095
No.
856
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:12,255
LAUGHTER
857
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:15,575
What is it?
It's the nine of spades. Shit.
858
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:18,255
Oh, yeah, I've just remembered,
it only works if I'm on a quad bike.
859
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:22,535
Another vowel, please.
860
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:23,775
ROB: An A.
861
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:27,935
Gutted. And a consonant, please.
And a final...
862
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:29,575
s
jOE SIGHS
863
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:32,975
OK, I'm going to throw on the audio
description for this clock.
864
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,255
So, your time starts now.
865
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:41,255
Countdown audio description enabled.
Hmm.
866
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:44,015
A life-sized Barbie doll
stands next to some letters.
867
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:46,415
She is wasting her life.
868
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:51,575
A tiny, rat-faced man-boy
is thinking about kinky sex.
869
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,415
A national treasure stares
at some blank paper.
870
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:56,135
He's just here for the money.
871
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:58,855
He stinks.
872
00:44:00,240 --> 00:44:03,455
A comedy actress attempts
to solve a word puzzle.
873
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,495
She's either very
confused or has gas.
874
00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:11,095
A word witch sits
smugly in a corner.
875
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:13,855
She can't wait to tell people
how thick they are.
876
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:17,535
Babatunde, how many?
877
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:18,935
I didn't get any.
878
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:19,975
Nothing? Nothing.
879
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:21,415
None? None.
880
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:22,815
Bring the robot back!
881
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,175
No! Don't do that, don't do that.
882
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:26,575
OK. Jon?
883
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:28,815
Jon, how many?
884
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:31,095
Er... Six...
885
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:32,855
OK. Katherine, how many?
886
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:34,615
I'm going to try for a seven.
887
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:37,215
Good Lord. OK, great. Ambitious.
Rob, how many?
888
00:44:37,240 --> 00:44:39,255
just a five. OK, what's your five?
889
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:40,695
PAYER. Someone who pays something.
890
00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:42,615
PAYER? Someone who pays.
891
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:44,935
All right, perfect.
What's your six, Jon?
892
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:45,935
PASTRY
893
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:47,415
Katherine, your seven.
894
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:48,735
So, if my seven doesn't work,
895
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:51,135
I've got TEARS, I've got YEARS,
896
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,095
because I'm not sure that
this seven one is a word.
897
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:54,375
OK, give us the seven.
898
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:55,735
SURF ATE
SHE LAUGHS
899
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:57,215
What, sorry? Sorry.
900
00:44:57,240 --> 00:44:59,215
What, sorry?
LAUGHTER
901
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:00,935
Sorry, what was that?
902
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:02,135
I've also got PUS.
903
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:03,535
What, sorry? What?
904
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:07,455
Well, you want to see someone about
that, but what...what's the word?
905
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:09,775
I don't know if this is a word.
I've gone for SURPATE.
906
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,055
Yeah, SURF' ATE.
907
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:12,855
Could you put it in a sentence?
908
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:14,495
Oh, definitely,
909
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:16,895
I'll give you the SURPATE
on that when I get in.
910
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:20,575
Susie, is that made-up word?
911
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:21,655
Yes.
912
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:24,375
Six points tojon.
913
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,015
APPLAUSE
914
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:29,335
Oh, I was so sure I got at least
915
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:31,175
something for you. Sorry.
916
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:32,895
Adam, Susie, could they
have done any better?
917
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,335
A couple of sevens - PASTURE and...
918
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,415
Oh, no! ..and ESTUARY.
919
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:40,055
OK, so, Rob and Katherine
have 12 points,
920
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,455
jon and Babatunde have 33.
921
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:45,215
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
922
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:47,735
OK, fingers on buzzers.
923
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:49,775
Time for today's
Countdown Conundrum.
924
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:52,175
You time starts...
Countdown. Oh. ..now.
925
00:45:54,720 --> 00:45:55,975
BUZZER
926
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,295
ROB EXCLAIMS
JON: Oh.
927
00:45:58,320 --> 00:45:59,975
IS it DERRINGER?
928
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:04,095
How old ARE you?
929
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:31,495
INDISTINCT
930
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:32,895
BELL
REWARDING!
931
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:34,255
REWARDING is the right answer. Yes!
932
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,015
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
933
00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:41,695
So, the final scores are
Rob and Katherine have 22,
934
00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:43,695
jon and Babatunde have 33 -
935
00:46:43,720 --> 00:46:45,415
they're the winners.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
936
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:47,735
Congratulations, you're now
937
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:51,215
the proud owner of this,
the Countdown butter churn.
938
00:46:51,240 --> 00:46:54,255
Thanks to all of our panel lists,
our wonderful studio audience
939
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,095
and to all of you for watching at
home. That's it from us. Goodnight!
940
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:21,255
Subtitles by Red Bee Media