1 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:05,480 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,480 Tonight on Eight Out Of Ten Cats Does Countdown... 3 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:39,160 ..Alan Carr, Sarah Millican... APPLAUSE 4 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,000 ..Gary Delaney... APPLAUSE 5 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,920 ..Munya Chawawa, Don Rodolfo... APPLAUSE 6 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,640 ..Susie Dent... APPLAUSE 7 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,840 ..Rachel Riley... APPLAUSE 8 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:53,080 ..and your host, Jimmy Carr. APPLAUSE 9 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,800 Hello, and welcome to Eight Out Of Ten Cats Does Countdown, 10 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,040 a show about letters, numbers and conundrums. 11 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,320 On this show, what you see is what you get 12 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,000 and what you see is five thick comedians, 13 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:08,840 a talking dictionary and a calculator in a dress. 14 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,480 OK, let's meet tonight's players. 15 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,920 First up, it's team captain Alan Carr. 16 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:19,800 APPLAUSE 17 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:23,760 At school, Alan says he was a chubby, 18 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:28,200 shy, goofy, gay guy who wore glasses. But looking at him now... 19 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,280 ..it's hard to believe he used to be shy. 20 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,840 And Alan's teammate, Munya Chawawa. 21 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:41,360 APPLAUSE 22 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,600 Munya once spent £200 on having a barber come 23 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,840 to his house to cut his hair. 24 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,840 You got ripped off there, mate, 25 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,520 I don't pay that much and I send my hair to them. 26 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,120 Up against them this evening, it's team captain Sarah Millican. 27 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:58,560 APPLAUSE 28 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:03,440 Sarah does a lot of work for charity and, in fact, 29 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:07,440 she's married to her teammate, Gary Delaney. What? What? 30 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,040 I'm the charity case, says Lego Head. 31 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,800 And on Sarah's team, an award winning, multi-talented 32 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,360 and universally-loved comedian's husband, Gary Delaney. 33 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,000 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Wow! 34 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,920 Like Brangelina, Gary and Sarah are a power couple, 35 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:30,000 so powerful, in fact, that they're now known by just one name... 36 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:31,840 ..Sarah Millican. 37 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:36,840 Alan, since you were last on the show, you have, erm, 38 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,600 written and starred in a sitcom. How was the experience? 39 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:41,640 Yeah, it's a sitcom called Changing Ends, 40 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,480 it's based on my life. Me growing up. 41 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,680 So, we had to audition for a young Alan. 42 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,960 So, we got over 500 tapes of young Alans. 43 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,680 Some of them were so sweet, 44 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,080 some of them were just downright offensive. 45 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,120 I don't wanna see a child in a fat suit, 46 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:03,440 I'm just saying. "Hello, I'm Alan Carr!" 500 times. 47 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,240 It was like being back in the playground. 48 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:10,520 Honestly. And, yeah, and all my family. 49 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,880 So, I've been casting for my family and, erm, 50 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,600 my mum was... It was quite hard for my mum, 51 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:17,240 because she's got quite broad shoulders and, erm, 52 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,440 Hulk Hogan pulled out last minute... LAUGHTER 53 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,400 ..and it's a shame cause his tash was spot on. 54 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,120 LAUGHTER 55 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,960 And it's been recommissioned for a second series, which is wonderful. 56 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,640 Ah, congratulations. 57 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,080 So, I think it's gonna be, like, Northampton's answer to 58 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,360 the Crown and... LAUGHTER 59 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,400 And I don't know who's gonna play me in the future, 60 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:40,800 but the way my hairline's going, 61 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,080 I think Greg Wallace is on a light pencil. 62 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,280 LAUGHTER 63 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,880 Alan, talk us through the look this evening. What are you wearing? 64 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,040 I'm not realising that I'm, sort of, getting old. 65 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:52,120 SOMEONE WOLF WHISTLES No. 66 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:56,080 I look like... I look like a gay darts player. 67 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,400 I know. You know... 68 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,440 You know, you don't... You don't realise, 69 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:08,000 "On the oche, Alan Carr. Oh, 180." I think it works. 70 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,520 Can I get away with it? 71 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,960 Yeah, we're like an interracial Jedward. 72 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,280 LAUGHTER 73 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:15,760 OK, erm, Munya, what's....? 74 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,640 Like, what's the most uncool thing you've ever done? 75 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,360 The most uncool thing I've ever done, 76 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,480 erm, the first time I ever sent a sext... 77 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,880 ..it was from my grandad's phone. 78 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,760 Well, did Nanna like it? 79 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,280 OK, so, it's summer holidays, 80 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:32,880 I was staying at my grandparents' house. 81 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,280 Right. And my girlfriend at the time wanted to sext, 82 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:38,200 which I agreed to, but I don't have any credit. 83 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:41,280 But I knew my granddad had an emergency Nokia 3310 in 84 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:42,560 the kitchen drawer. 85 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,320 So, I took my grandad's Nokia, cos I knew it had £10 on. 86 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,360 So, I've got the phone, 87 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,680 you know, I'm flirting the best a teenager can. 88 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,400 I'm like, "How are you?" 89 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,720 And then texts stop sending. 90 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:03,080 So, now, I can't text my girlfriend to stop sexting my grandad's phone. 91 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,360 So, I've got three options, number one, destroy the phone. 92 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,160 I can't, it's a Nokia, right? 93 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,560 No matter how many times you try and destroy it, 94 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,160 it will come back to life. It's like that insect, 95 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,320 erm, Piers Morgan. LAUGHTER 96 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:18,720 I can't hide it, cos even on silent, it's like an industrial vibrator. 97 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,920 So, in the end, I just had to wait for it to die 98 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,120 and, thankfully, one day he did. 99 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,600 CROWD GROAN 100 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,920 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 101 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,040 Now, Sarah, you're here with your real-life partner, Gary. 102 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,400 How do you keep things spicy in your relationship? 103 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,200 We've got Munya's Grandad's Nokia. 104 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,360 Yeah, industrial vibrator, 105 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,280 that's what I heard when you were talking about it. 106 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,000 Three words for you, Jimmy, topless curry nights. 107 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:52,000 Cannot recommend it enough, cannot recommend it enough. 108 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,680 So, talk me through topless curry night. 109 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:58,400 So, I just got really sick of cleaning stains... 110 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:02,720 LAUGHTER Erm, settle down. 111 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,120 You know, like, the yellow stains out of t-shirts. 112 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,920 So, we take our tops off, we eat our curry. 113 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,480 Now, you'd think after that, cos you're semi-naked, 114 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:15,600 that that would lead on to, sort of, a fruity evening and it doesn't. 115 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,480 We just put our tops back on and watch the telly. 116 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,360 You can't have... You can't have curry on date night, 117 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,320 cos there's repercussions later. It's really, really bad planning. 118 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,880 Oh, yeah. We did it once and we never did it again. 119 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,680 Harrowing for all concerned. 120 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:31,960 I didn't use to have to wear glasses. 121 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,400 LAUGHTER 122 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,440 Gary, tell us something about Sarah we might not know. 123 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:45,280 Erm, I think one may not know this, but Sarah's my trophy wife... 124 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,280 ..cos her ears stick out and she's got 125 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,520 the previous winner's names tattooed down her back. 126 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,800 Oh, give him that! 127 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,680 I wouldn't say she's embarrassed about me, 128 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,000 but at our wedding I was only invited to the evening do. 129 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:04,880 Sarah, have you got a mascot this evening, 130 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:05,920 what did you bring for good luck? 131 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,360 So, I get very stressed in this show, 132 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:08,920 cos I'm generally not very good at it 133 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,400 and I thought, "You know what would be nice 134 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:14,400 "is to have a way of giving myself a slightly different surroundings." 135 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,040 Erm, Fabio, if you could bring it out, please. 136 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:19,040 What I've got is a portable scenery changer. 137 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,000 It's gonna pop behind me. 138 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,000 So, for example, if I'm getting a bit stressed, 139 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,360 it's my home town, South Shields and it's the beach. 140 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,680 I had sex there. Erm, about there once, erm... 141 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,040 Well, they've put up a monument to it. 142 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,880 There. I had sex there. It wasn't with you. Sorry. 143 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,600 I was gonna say, yeah, I've never been to that beach. 144 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,120 Erm, so, that calms me down. 145 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,520 Erm, and another place that I feel really at home, erm... 146 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,360 Second one, please, thank you, lovely. 147 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,400 ..is, erm... 148 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,600 ..Greggs. LAUGHTER 149 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:48,720 I've not had sex in there, 150 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,360 but, you know, there's time still. LAUGHTER 151 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:54,440 Next one, please. This is for when I'm concentrating, erm, 152 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:55,720 just so that you know that I'm concen... 153 00:07:56,440 --> 00:08:00,200 LAUGHTER 154 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,640 If I get really stressed, this next one, 155 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,200 I think this knocks everybody out, really, 156 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,320 it's spa pebbles. Who doesn't love a spa pebble? 157 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,520 It just makes me feel like I need a wee, this, 158 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,080 cos there's always tinkling water at the same time. 159 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,720 And then if I get too relaxed, the last one, please. 160 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,120 Thanks, Fabio, erm, 161 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,360 which is the set of the show we're on. 162 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,560 Sarah's scene changer. Fantastic. 163 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:21,720 Thank you very much, Fabio. Thanks, love. 164 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,040 Very good. Erm, thanks, Fabio. 165 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:27,600 Munya, have you got a mascot with you? 166 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:32,440 I have indeed, Jimbob. This is Munya's Helping Hand. 167 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,480 Each fingernail comes with a different device 168 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,520 to help me win the game. 169 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:44,720 So, we'll start with the snack finger, OK. 170 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:48,800 And this is a chocolate finger filled with chocolate fingers, OK? 171 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:50,000 SARAH: Wow. 172 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,720 Next up, we have the attack finger. 173 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,480 It can incapacitate with a single squirt, 174 00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,880 which is also Jimmy's Tinder Bio. 175 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,960 Up next, we have a pair of binoculars that I can use 176 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,320 to spy on their answers. 177 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:08,360 Also, it's probably the closest 178 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,200 we'll get to a Black James Bond, so... 179 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,960 Finally, The Barack Finger. 180 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:16,000 So, this is one of Barack Obama's fingers. 181 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,760 Can I borrow that? Yeah, sure. 182 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:23,600 And that's my Helping Hand. 183 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:29,080 Munya's Helping Hand. APPLAUSE 184 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,400 Erm, Gary, have you got a mascot? 185 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:31,680 Yes, I have. I'm coming to the end of a tour, 186 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:32,720 so, I've got to write another one 187 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:34,840 and writing jokes is hard, man, it takes ages. 188 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,240 Erm, so I thought I'd use a bit of technology. 189 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,480 So, I've got for you here the, erm, Jokeatron 3,000. 190 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,360 And it will spew up set ups and punchlines as needed. 191 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,360 So, erm, we'll give this a little go. So, erm... 192 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,000 You know, you can see the, erm... 193 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,560 The technology, the magic there. Right. 194 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:54,160 Oh, yeah, take that, Chat GPT. Yeah, exactly. 195 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,880 We'll have a set up and we'll have a punch. 196 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,080 Rabbi, a priest and a vicar go into a pub... 197 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,360 ..but he was on D wing, so now it looks like an air sock. 198 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:10,280 I was in Greggs, I said, "I'd like an apple tart." 199 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:11,680 She said, "Here's your apple, you prick." 200 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,680 A timesaving device, the Jokeatron 3,000. 201 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,840 The Jokeatron 3,000. Erm... 202 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,640 Alan, have you have you brought a mascot with you? 203 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,880 Well, sort of Jimmy and I'm a... 204 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:27,280 I feel a bit of an idiot, really, 205 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:31,720 because I'm ashamed to say I've starting vaping. 206 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:32,920 Oh, no. 207 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,480 Does anyone vape in here? 208 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:35,960 CROWD IS SILENT 209 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:40,720 Great, thank you for the support. Clearly, half of these are on crack. 210 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,360 LAUGHTER 211 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,040 You can't vape in restaurants, 212 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,880 you can't vape on a plane and everything. 213 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,560 So, I've come up with a way of vaping 214 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,880 and doing it in plain sight. Clever. 215 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,240 So, I'm really proud of it. 216 00:10:58,920 --> 00:10:59,920 You see! 217 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,800 And the really clever thing is... 218 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:07,760 ..you can put your three favourite things in here, 219 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:11,080 like my flavours, Scampi Fries... LAUGHTER 220 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,760 ..Parma Violets... LAUGHTER 221 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:19,160 ..and my favourite, bin juice. LAUGHTER 222 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,400 Does anyone know I'm vaping? No. 223 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:30,080 'SCOTLAND THE BRAVE' PLAYS 224 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:35,760 He moves so gracefully. 225 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,760 MUSIC CONTINUES 226 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,320 I'm vaping, I'm vaping. 227 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,960 So... APPLAUSE 228 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,400 No, no, no! 229 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:51,360 No. I'm on a plane, I wanna vape. 230 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,720 You can't vape on a plane, can you? 231 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,200 So, you nip to the toilet. 232 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,960 Everyone thinks I'm having a mid-air dump. 233 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:04,840 No, I'm vaping. 234 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,920 SILENCE 235 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:13,720 OK, erm... HE LAUGHS 236 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,120 SILENCE No? You're not playing it? 237 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:19,600 OK, fine. Am I having a vape? 238 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,600 What the fuck? 239 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:27,240 Right, OK. 240 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:35,800 No-one knows. 241 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:38,560 Our little secret. HE COUGHS 242 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,320 HE COUGHS 243 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:46,560 LAUGHTER 244 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:54,960 APPLAUSE 245 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:58,680 You areshole. There you go, my little vape. 246 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,320 You should get a job on Ryanair, you're really shitty. 247 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:05,360 Thank you, everyone! 248 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,680 Well, over in Dictionary Corner it's, erm, Don Rodolfo. 249 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,720 Now, Don Rodolfo, it's your first time on the show. 250 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,400 Could you tell us a little bit about yourself? 251 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,320 I'm Don Rodolfo, 252 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:24,800 the greatest swordsman in the world, 253 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,680 all-round cool guy, famous adventurer and total hussy. 254 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:32,240 No? God, what are they teaching you in schools? 255 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,320 What, you don't have books? Mm? 256 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,480 You don't have heard of news? 257 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:41,040 Right, allow me to introduce myself. I am Don Rodolfo Martini Toyota... 258 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,560 ..but I have gone by many names. 259 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:48,040 You may know me as El Bastardo, The Widow Maker, 260 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,520 The Widow Lover, The Widow Licker. 261 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,440 I bathe in the blood of my enemies 262 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,640 and showered in the piss of my friends. 263 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,320 I've laughed in the face of death, "Hur-r-r-gh!" 264 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,480 And been asked to leave a lot of funerals. 265 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,520 I both have and am a world-class bell end. 266 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,720 OK, and you know how the game works? 267 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:17,760 I know how to milk an otter and make cheese from its lactate. 268 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,240 I know when a dog is a virgin. 269 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,520 I know how to make really nice rice. 270 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,320 I think I can figure out your little game. 271 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,000 And with Don Rodolfo, of course, it's Susie Dent. 272 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,800 APPLAUSE 273 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:38,600 Susie Dent's books come in hardback, 274 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:40,600 paperback and, "No, you can't have your money back." 275 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,160 What have you been researching recently? 276 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,120 I have been looking at, erm, 277 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,360 you know those things that really get on people's nerves 278 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,200 like, "Like," as a filler. 279 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,520 Love Islanders always get such stick for this. 280 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:57,960 Apparently, there was one episode in which one person said, "like," 281 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,760 40 times within one minute. And so, 282 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,400 I looked it up in the Oxford English Dictionary 283 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:06,680 and the first use of like as a filler was 1778. 284 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,400 But, better still, 285 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,240 it was in a book written by somebody called 286 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:13,880 Fanny Burnie which is exactly what you get if you're on 287 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:18,360 Love Island. So, I thought it was perfect...symmetry. 288 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,680 Susie Dent. APPLAUSE 289 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,880 And in charge of the numbers, it's Rachel Riley. 290 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:25,880 APPLAUSE 291 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,200 Rachel you recently met the King, how was that? 292 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,840 Yeah, I got my MBE from King Charles. 293 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,200 I can't retain any information 294 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:36,840 for more than about three seconds since I had kids. 295 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,360 So, they tell you what to do about, you know, 296 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:39,640 when to shake their hand, when to courtesy. 297 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:41,680 And then it came to the point where he pins 298 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,480 the medal on you and you shake your hand 299 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:44,720 and then you have to leave, 300 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,360 but you have to courtesy and then go a certain way. 301 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:48,680 So, I was shaking the hand 302 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,880 and I just panic-courtesied and ran, 303 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,560 just straight out the door. 304 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,040 Did you understand what he says? 305 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,160 Cos he sounds like a leaf blower, doesn't he? 306 00:15:56,200 --> 00:16:01,040 HE IMITATES LEAF BLOWER HUMMING 307 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,440 How did it feel shaking his hand? 308 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,000 I can't remember. Let me guess. 309 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,680 OK, the prize the teams will be competing for tonight is this, 310 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,720 the Countdown Practice Milking set. 311 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:18,760 Oh, God. Oh, God. 312 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:19,800 Oh, my God. 313 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:31,280 LAUGHTER 314 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:36,000 SARAH: Oh! Oh, no. 315 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:45,920 What the hell was that? OK, let's Countdown, everyone. 316 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,920 Time for our first game. Sarah and Gary, 317 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,400 you get the first pick of the letters. 318 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,520 Consonant. Thanks, Gary. 319 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,760 Another consonant. 320 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,760 Another consonant. 321 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,040 Another consonant. Oh, God. 322 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,480 And all the rest of the other type of letters. 323 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:03,920 No, not all of them. 324 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:04,960 Yeah, yeah. All of them? 325 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,200 Oh, really? 326 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,880 Is that...? No, one more consonant at the end. 327 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,560 OK, I'm being told that I want another consonant at the end. 328 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:14,080 Thank you. 329 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:18,000 All right, for the first time today, here's the Countdown Clock. 330 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,360 And over in Dictionary Corner we have 331 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,520 the world's most boring man, it's Jimmy Carr. 332 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,560 Jimmy, you recently released yet another book all about 333 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,960 the origins of words and phrases. Tell me, 334 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,120 where do you get your shitty ideas from? 335 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,600 And in charge of the numbers, it's Fabio. 336 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,680 OK, Fabio, could it be done? 337 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:48,600 OK, the prize the teams will be competing for tonight is this, 338 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:49,640 the Countdown Rollerskates. 339 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 340 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,640 The multiverse version's even shittier than ours. 341 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,160 OK, erm, Gary, how many? 342 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,040 I've got a four. Sarah, how many? 343 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,120 I've got a five. OK, Alan, how many? 344 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,720 Six. SARAH: Ooh. 345 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,320 Oh, don't, it might be wrong. 346 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,880 Munya, how many? Five for me. 347 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,000 Gary, your four. It's wrong, erm, 348 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,480 I put peeve but that would require three Es. 349 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:21,000 It would. Erm, Sarah, what's your word? 350 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:22,680 Oh, leave. Leave. 351 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,320 I thought you were talking to me. Yeah. 352 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,080 Erm, Munya? Flame for me, Jimmy. 353 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:30,400 Alan, your six for the points. 354 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:35,440 I'm worried now, cos I never normally do well. Impale? 355 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:40,440 Yes. Brilliant. Is that good? Ah, that's nice. 356 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,360 Six points for Alan's team. 357 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:46,360 Don Rodolfo, Susie Dent, could they have done any better? 358 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:47,680 Yeah. They could have chosen 359 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,000 professions that did not bring shame on their families. 360 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,840 Words-wise, no. No better than six. 361 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,360 So, at the end of that, Alan and Munya are in 362 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:58,640 the lead with six points. Wicked. 363 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:01,960 Onto our first numbers round. 364 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,880 Erm, Alan, Munya, your turn to pick the numbers. 365 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,240 Four big ones, two little ones. 366 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:08,320 Oh, no, no. What? 367 00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:10,320 What? It's really hard. 368 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,680 This is madness. 369 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:16,360 Right, we have one and three. 100, 50... 370 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:17,640 Oh, God. ..75, 25. 371 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:18,760 Oh, God. 372 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,600 Oh, my God. What have you done, Munya? 373 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,960 Well, they can't copy. OK, well your time starts now. 374 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,280 What have you done? 375 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:59,200 Erm, so the target was 289. Did you get it? Gary? 376 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,240 No. 377 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:02,600 Sarah, did you get it? 378 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,000 Nope. 379 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,400 Munya? Hell no. 380 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,880 Well, I've got 296. Is that any good? 381 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,480 It's something. What did you do, Alan? 382 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:15,200 OK, well, 75 divided by 25 is three. 383 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,640 Then, you times the 100 which is 300 384 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,440 and then you take away the three and the one. 296. 385 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,000 Erm, Rachel, did you get it? Erm... 386 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,280 It's your only job, come on. 387 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:32,600 I think, erm... Shall we try it? Shall we try it? 388 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,800 Yeah. Yeah. Has anyone got a calculator? 389 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,720 Use my phone! Why do you think we employ you? 390 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,440 All right, OK. I've got my phone, Rachel. 391 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,800 100 minus 3 is 97. 392 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,600 And, then, we wanna do 75 times 97. 393 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:53,840 Which will be 7,275. Yep. 394 00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:57,120 And then minus 50, 7,225. 395 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:01,640 And then divide that by, erm... No, yeah, 25. 396 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,280 And you might get 289. Wow, you do. 397 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,120 That is incredible. That is incredible. 398 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:12,040 How is that possible? How did you do that? 399 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:15,280 OK, time now to go across to Dictionary Corner. 400 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,440 Don Rodolfo, what have you got for us? 401 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,720 A lot of people ask me, erm, as a hero to millions, 402 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,480 how I became so successful. 403 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,920 Like, what's my daily routine? And I'm happy to share it with you. 404 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:29,520 This is a typical day for me. 4am wake up. 405 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,320 Why 4am? Cos three's too early, I like a lie-in. 406 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:34,040 First things first, ice cold shower, 407 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:35,920 shock the body. Second thing second, 408 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,240 jump in the fire, shock the body. Third things third, 409 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,160 treat the burns, I'm all about self-care. 410 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:47,160 Now, food, it's 4.30am, I down 13 raw eggs. Shell on. 411 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,400 If I'm training for something, I need to make some gains, 412 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,840 get swole, I swap the eggs for chickens. 413 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:56,360 13 raw, whole, live, chickens, feathers on, neck back... 414 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,640 HE GLUGS 415 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,000 At 5am, I go out to commune with nature. 416 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:03,560 See, as a child, to toughen me up, my father would take me out to 417 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,800 the countryside and throw me down a badger set to fight for my life. 418 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,520 I still try to do that every other day. 419 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:09,920 You know, it keeps me sharp. 420 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,520 Me and the badgers will wrestle for anything up to three hours. 421 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,440 No eye gouging, no fish hooks, no butt stuff, 422 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:15,800 everything else goes. 423 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,600 8am, I take a moment of quiet contemplation and breathe, 424 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,520 breathe deep down into my pelvis, connect with it. 425 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,320 8.15 breathe into someone else's pelvis. Connect with it. 426 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,040 After lunch, I spend my afternoons on quests, 427 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:33,840 you know, rescuing fair maidens, 428 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,920 freeing villages from the bondage of an evil baron, 429 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,360 I might fist fight the witch, or fist fuck a goblin. 430 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:41,520 It's all in a day's work. 431 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,000 After the stress of the day, dinner time is family time. 432 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,120 Not my family, I invite someone else's family over 433 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:48,600 and watch them eat. 434 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,600 Nobody speaks, they feel incredibly uncomfortable, 435 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,080 I hate having them there. I don't know why we do it. 436 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,960 8pm is my son Dragon's bedtime. We normally do bath and a story 437 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,000 before tucking him in. Now, his sheets are normally 438 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,520 saturated by about midnight, when we'll move him to sleep 439 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:03,920 the second half of the night drying out in 440 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:05,280 a massive bowl of rice. 441 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,760 In my home town of Mumff, between nine and 11, 442 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,800 is a period I like to call The Purge. 443 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,560 It's two hours of pure lawless bliss, you kill a man, that's all gravy. 444 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,680 You boil his bones with some carrots and onions, 445 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,480 add some flour to thicken, that really is gravy. 446 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,000 At midnight, I usually get visited by the ghosts of my past haunting 447 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:27,480 and forewarning me of an afterlife spent in 448 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:29,440 the fires of hell and the eternity of suffering 449 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:30,760 and agonising torment that awaits. 450 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,360 Then, it's a glass of Ovaltine, beddie-byes about two. 451 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,200 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 452 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,400 Don Rodolfo, everyone. Wow. 453 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:43,400 Can I, erm...? Can I ask where exactly in Spain you're from? 454 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,960 I move around a lot. I move around a lot. 455 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:50,760 A lot. 456 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:56,000 The scores at the moment, Sarah and Gary have no points, 457 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:59,160 nothing on the board. Alan and Munya are in the lead with 11. Yes. 458 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,160 And here is your teaser the words are, "Gonadnit," 459 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,240 the clue is, "Better to give than receive." 460 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,560 That's, "Gonadnit," 461 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,360 "Better to give than receive." See you after the break. 462 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:30,600 Welcome back. The answer to the teaser, the words were, "Gonadnit," 463 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:32,960 the clue was, "Better to give than receive." 464 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,680 It was, of course, donating. So, erm, the scores at the moment, 465 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,680 Alan and Munya are in the lead with 11 points. 466 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:40,840 They've been playing in teams so far, 467 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,320 but this game is just for Alan and Sarah. 468 00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:46,960 Team captain versus team captain. Your turn to choose, Alan. 469 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,040 Erm, five consonants and four vowels, please. 470 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,200 OK. G, B... No mucking about. 471 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,800 ..N, D... Let's rock this mother. 472 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:59,120 ..S, O, E, U and A. Have you got one of these? 473 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,320 You can turn, like, toy animals into real animals. 474 00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:04,000 Oh, no! I'm gonna get one, that sounds amazing. 475 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,920 They're good. Your time starts now. What? 476 00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:14,920 That should be it. 477 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,200 CROWD: Aww. 478 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,280 I hate when they bring kittens on and I wanna look. 479 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:22,520 See if that'll do a mix. 480 00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:34,360 Dog and me. 481 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,120 CROWD: Aww. 482 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:47,320 Where did he go? 483 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:49,720 Come back out. 484 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:52,840 Have some treats. 485 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,040 He's embarrassed, cos we're wearing the same thing. 486 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,360 Come on, Tayo, be a fucking professional, mate. 487 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:08,400 Tayo, Tayo. Tayo. Tayo. Tayo. 488 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,160 Yeah, maybe. Come and sit. Hello! 489 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,560 Hello, come here. HE WHISTLES 490 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:16,920 Tayo, Tayo. 491 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,040 You're not wet. 492 00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:26,800 Alan, what have you got? 493 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,680 I've got a six. Oh! Sarah how many? 494 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,160 I think I've got a seven. All right, Alan, what's your six? 495 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:36,640 Gonads. Oh, OK, so you've got gonads. Erm, Sarah? 496 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:40,080 Abounds. Really nice, yeah. Perfect. 497 00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:41,360 Seven points to Sarah. 498 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,480 Don Rodolfo, erm, Susie, could they have done any better? 499 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,440 Dogbanes. 500 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:52,320 What's a dogbane? It's a thing that poisons a dog. 501 00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:53,880 Really, is that true? Yeah. 502 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:57,040 IN SPANISH ACCENT: Dogbanes. It's dogbanes. 503 00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:58,400 It sounds more Irish than that. 504 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:03,240 LAUGHTER 505 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,680 IN IRISH ACCENT: Oh, dogbanes! IN IRISH ACCENT: Dogbanes. 506 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:07,640 OK, so at the end of that, 507 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,840 Sarah and Gary have seven points, Alan and Munya have 11. 508 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:17,720 Right, it's now time for Gary and Munya to go head-to-head. 509 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,280 Gary your turn to pick the numbers. 510 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,400 Let's have two big ones and four small ones. 511 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,120 Two large, four little coming up. 512 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:29,080 Two, three, seven, three, 75 and 50. 513 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:33,000 And the target 388. 514 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:36,840 OK, so the target is 388. Your time starts now. 515 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:38,320 Well, that's just... 516 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:38,320 ALAN LAUGHS 517 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,320 Is there a one? 518 00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:53,360 Argh! 519 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:10,880 So, the target was 388. Erm, Munya, did you get it? 520 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:12,560 Nope. Gary, did you get it? 521 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:14,480 385, I think. MUNYA SIGHS 522 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:18,440 OK, Gary, how did you do that? OK, erm, two plus three, five. 523 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,960 Yeah. Times the 75 is, hopefully, 375. 524 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,080 Yeah. And then plus the seven and the three. 525 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:30,040 Well done. Seven points to Gary. Could it be done, Rachel? 526 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:35,440 Yes. 50 times seven, 350. Three over three is one. 527 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,040 Add it to 75 is 76 528 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,840 and divide it by two for 38 and add it on. 529 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,920 OK, time to go across once again to Dictionary Corner. 530 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,040 Don Rodolfo, you're Spanish, 531 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,120 I'll just remind you of that before we start. 532 00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:54,360 What have you got for us? 533 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,800 Well, Jimmy, I've killed a lot of people. 534 00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:00,280 Like, a lot. But they say you never forget your first. 535 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,160 Well, I did. I've got no recollection, 536 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,600 cos I've been doing it since I was a little baby. 537 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,640 You know how some people are born with 538 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,880 a silver spoon in their mouth, 539 00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,480 I was born with a silver sword in my hand. 540 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:16,000 It was a difficult birth. Caesarean, from the inside. 541 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:21,160 To say my mother survived would be...inaccurate. 542 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:22,920 So, erm, because I never really knew her, 543 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:24,640 lately I've been trying to reconnect. 544 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,960 I've been tracing back her family tree 545 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,040 and come across some interesting characters. 546 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,440 First up, we have my grandmother, Marjory. 547 00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,560 There she is. Nice hat! 548 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:39,480 It's a fucking tragedy, actually. She shagged herself to death. 549 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:42,280 IN IRISH ACCENT: It's a fucking tragedy. 550 00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:43,920 Marjory's father was called Oopsy. 551 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,160 Yeah, they came from a very poor family, 552 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,680 couldn't even afford chairs. 553 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:55,720 Then, we have my mother's great aunt, Pissy. 554 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,080 Cause of death, unknown. 555 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:05,760 Next up, we have my great, great, great uncle, Poncho. 556 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,800 A great guy, he loved his horse. 557 00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:13,200 Too much. Maybe too much. 558 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:17,440 Now, erm, we also had a bit of a celebrity in the family. 559 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:19,240 Now, I don't like to brag, but my great, 560 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,360 great, great uncle, Norm, was a pretty big deal on 561 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,760 the after-dinner circuit around the courts of Europe. 562 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,920 He would do poems, like, tell a naughty joke, 563 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:29,280 but, mainly, he looked like this. 564 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:34,680 What's going on there? 565 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:36,800 I don't even know what that is. 566 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,320 SPANISH ACCENT SLIPPING: They just used to call him fuzzy boy. 567 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:40,360 Spanish. 568 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:48,240 So, erm, we're actually able to trace my family lineage all 569 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:51,320 the way back to the 11th century. The birth of my great, 570 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:53,760 great, great, great, great, great, grandfather 571 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,560 is actually captured in the Bayeux Tapestry. 572 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,120 How do we know it's him? 573 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:01,240 Look familiar? Caesarean! It's me inside. 574 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,520 Don Rodolfo, everyone. 575 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,320 There's a Spanish expression for that... 576 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:12,440 IN IRISH ACCENT: ..what's going on there? 577 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:18,400 IN IRISH ACCENT: What's the story? 578 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,200 And here is your teaser. The words are, "Into Alan," 579 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,200 the clue is, "Do it for your country. That's, "Into Alan," 580 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,760 "Do it for your country." See you after the break. 581 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:46,360 Welcome back, the answer to the teaser, 582 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:47,480 the words were, "Into Alan," 583 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:48,760 the clue was, "Do it for your Country." 584 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,400 It was of course, national. 585 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:54,520 OK, before we go on with the game, time for a quick bonus round. 586 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:57,600 Sarah and Gary have been lovers for many years. 587 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,360 But Alan and Munya have only just met. 588 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,920 But who knows more about each other? The married couple, or the strangers? 589 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,880 Let's find out as we play Mr And Mr And Mr And Mrs. 590 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,320 GAME SHOW MUSIC PLAYS 591 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,200 Come on, let's join them. APPLAUSE 592 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,680 I'm gonna ask, erm, Munya and Sarah some questions. 593 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,320 Alan and Gary won't be able to hear the answers, 594 00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:23,640 because they'll be wearing headphones. 595 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:24,760 You'll just have to guess them. 596 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:26,600 Whoever gets the most correct answers gets 597 00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:30,440 the bonus points. Sarah, is Gary the perfect husband? 598 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,320 Yeah, for me. Yeah, for sure. 599 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,800 That sounded like less of a compliment now, I've realised. 600 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,880 Alan, same question to you regarding Munya. 601 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,040 He's a... He's a wonderful lover. 602 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,880 He excites me in ways I never really knew possible. 603 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:49,040 Is that with the big hand? 604 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:50,080 Yeah. 605 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:55,480 OK, Alan, Gary, take a seat over by Rachel. Put your headphones on. 606 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:56,720 Good luck, love. Thank you. 607 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:02,160 Let's play Mr And Mr And Mr And Mrs. Munya, you're up first. Mm-hmm. 608 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:03,680 Here is your first question. 609 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:07,240 What unusual grooming habit does Alan have? 610 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:14,680 I've known Alan for a few minutes and I reckon he's the kind of guy 611 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:18,320 who, every time he has a poo, he has a shower. 612 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,120 If Alan could change one thing about himself, 613 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,440 what do you think it would be? 614 00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:26,440 It's hard to know where to begin, isn't it? 615 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,360 His dentist, I don't know, erm... 616 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,120 What does Alan think is his best feature 617 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,160 and, I'll give you a clue, it's below his waist. 618 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,640 His symmetrical knees. 619 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:45,400 It's the best kind. 620 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:46,920 Isn't one bigger than the other usually? 621 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:48,680 That's boobs. Erm, yeah, all right. 622 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:53,000 What about Alan does he think gives people the ick? 623 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:55,880 I feel like he doesn't know what to do with his hands. 624 00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:57,280 Picking his thumbs. 625 00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:58,920 Look, man, I don't know the guy, you know? 626 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,320 Well, let's bring Alan back. Could you grab Alan, Rachel? 627 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,120 You're up. Oh! 628 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,240 So, if the answers match, you'll get points, OK. OK. 629 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,160 I asked him what unusual grooming habits do you have? 630 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:16,240 What do you think he said? 631 00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:19,360 Do you know what I like doing? Well, this is disgusting, 632 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:23,520 but picking my toenails and using them as interdent things. What?! 633 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:28,400 I know what you're thinking, 634 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,920 with the size of these gaps I could use my whole foot, 635 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:35,160 but, yeah, I do that, that's me. Nah. 636 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,240 They're good, cos you can get right in, especially your big toe. 637 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,760 Cos it's got a hook on it, you can get right in the back. 638 00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,080 Did he say that? Did you say that? 639 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:45,560 He thought you might like to have a shower 640 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:47,120 after you did a poo, but, erm... 641 00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,560 He's flossing with his toenails, so, no. 642 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,080 Alan, if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 643 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:53,200 My hump. 644 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,280 What hump is this? 645 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:57,400 This hump here, 646 00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:00,520 I have, like, a hump like that. It's too much. 647 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:02,240 It's from getting those toenails, innit? I know! 648 00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,440 Where's the hump? The hump's here. 649 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:09,480 It's quite rounded. It's like I'm shoplifting a wok. 650 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,600 Did you say that? No. 651 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:17,680 Munya said the thing you would 652 00:35:17,720 --> 00:35:18,920 change about yourself would be your... 653 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,080 LAUGHER 654 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,000 Oh, no, what did you say? 655 00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:26,440 What do you think he said? 656 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,240 Go on, say it to my face, say it to my face. 657 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:30,800 Is this your first fight? 658 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,640 What did you say? What did you say? Ah, I said your dentist, erm... 659 00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:37,760 Because of your teeth. You are not getting any tonight. 660 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,960 OK, oh, God, we're not doing very well at this. Sorry. 661 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,520 OK, well, no, you can pull this back. 662 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,560 Next, I asked Munya what do you think is your best feature? 663 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:51,200 My legs. I've got lovely legs. Thank you. 664 00:35:51,240 --> 00:35:54,560 I will give you that. You said... 665 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,560 I said you've got symmetrical knees. 666 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,600 But, no, I mean, my legs, everyone comments on my legs. 667 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,840 They're my erogenous zone, as well, did you know that? 668 00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,240 I put on a pair of Uggs, I nearly came. 669 00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,840 OK. So, we'll give you that. Erm, we asked Munya this, 670 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:18,120 we said, what does Alan think about him gives people the ick? 671 00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,600 I have really bad IBS. 672 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:23,800 Yeah, no, I did know that. 673 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:28,600 I have explosive wind. I once destroyed a fire pit. 674 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:36,920 Yeah, I have really bad stomach issues and it just, bfft, goes. 675 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,280 Bfft! Like Oppenheimer, boom. 676 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:43,680 I said that you don't know 677 00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:45,840 what to do with your hands when you're nervous. 678 00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:47,240 And where are they now? Yes. 679 00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,080 They're holding in the IBS. Yeah. 680 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,640 Pushing my arse cheeks together. 681 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,680 All right, so, you got one. Let's see how the lovers will get on. 682 00:36:57,720 --> 00:36:59,600 But there's not... There's nothing at stake here. 683 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,080 There's a lot at stake over here. 684 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,040 Well, let's see how this round goes. Oh, God. 685 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:05,880 Here we go. OK, here's your first question. 686 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,560 Yeah. What's Gary's most annoying habit? 687 00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,920 He doesn't really know how to use a toilet brush. 688 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:13,560 Oh. I use paper. 689 00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:21,120 He genuinely thinks it's for unblocking the toilet... 690 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:24,600 ..and sometimes I bring it out the little holder 691 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,240 and it just looks like a cake pop. 692 00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:29,760 So, that. I think that. 693 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,160 I don't know that he knows that he does that, though. 694 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,760 Well, this feels like the perfect forum. 695 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,720 What would be Gary's ideal date night? 696 00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:41,240 He'd be on his own... 697 00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:45,920 ..with a bowl of sausages 698 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,680 and some zombie films. I don't think I'm there at all. 699 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:51,320 Perfect date night. OK. 700 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:54,040 What's the most romantic thing Gary has ever done for you? 701 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:55,960 He did once, when I was poorly, he brought me, 702 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,600 instead of flowers and chocolates, which is kind of standard, isn't it? 703 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,680 He brought me a Mr Potato Head to cheer me up. 704 00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:04,240 It was genuinely touching, if a little mad. OK. 705 00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,080 You're not gonna break us, Jimmy. No, I... 706 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,560 What's your most annoying habit? 707 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,240 I think I'm quite controlling, 708 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,800 but that's only because he often does thing wrong. 709 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:16,000 Let's get Gary back. 710 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,760 He seems to be enjoying the peace and quiet over there. 711 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,320 I don't wanna disturb him. OK, let's bring Gary back. 712 00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:21,360 Come on, Gary. 713 00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,360 You know how this works, I've asked Sarah some questions. Yeah. 714 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,880 You've just gotta match your answers, then you get the points, OK. 715 00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,360 What is your most annoying habit, what do you think Sarah said? 716 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:32,480 Always being right. 717 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:38,080 That is... That is not what she said. 718 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,080 What did you say? You didn't say he was... 719 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:43,880 Oh, I said that he didn't know how to use the toilet brush. 720 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:45,920 They're no good for unblocking it, they're awful. 721 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:46,960 That's not what they're for! 722 00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:51,680 OK, well, I'll say no points there. Erm... Yeah, fair enough. 723 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,200 What would be your ideal date night? 724 00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:56,560 Curry and zombie films. 725 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,680 Oh, I'll give you the points for that, yeah. 726 00:38:58,720 --> 00:39:00,640 I'll give you that, yeah. I said sausages and zombie films. 727 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:02,200 That'll do, yeah, yeah, yeah. 728 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:05,720 I next asked Sarah what's 729 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,840 the most romantic thing you've ever done for her. 730 00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:10,920 When you were stuck in Australia when the planes couldn't fly. 731 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:12,320 Oh, yeah, the ash cloud. I was gonna drive 732 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,000 to pick you up in Spain, cos you could fly to Spain. Yeah. 733 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:16,840 But then they legalised flying again. 734 00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:18,120 So, I didn't have to. So, I get to make the offer 735 00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,200 and get all the kudos points without having to deliver on it. 736 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:22,760 I'm gonna say that's the best. 737 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:24,720 You were gonna drive to Spain to pick her up? Yeah. 738 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,400 Yeah. Wow, they've got weird accents there. 739 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:28,440 Yeah. 740 00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:35,320 I'm worried that I'm not gonna have a career after this. 741 00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:37,360 LAUGHTER 742 00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,120 That wasn't Spanish at all. LAUGHTER 743 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:43,800 So, the correct answer was? 744 00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,560 That you brought me the Mr Potato Head when I wasn't very well 745 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,120 to cheer me up. Oh, yes! Yes, I did, I did. 746 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:52,360 Next, I asked Sarah what is Sarah's most annoying habit? 747 00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:53,920 On the rare occasions I get the remote control, 748 00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:55,400 she always tells me I'm not doing it properly 749 00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:56,880 and grabs it herself and presses the button. 750 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,080 What did you say? I said that I was too controlling. 751 00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:00,520 And I think you just gave a really good story 752 00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:02,680 about how I'm really controlling. 753 00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:05,080 I think they get the points for that, don't they? 754 00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:09,960 This is a win not just for Sarah and Gary, 755 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,960 but for lovers everywhere. You get the five bonus points. 756 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,640 Ah. Yeah. 757 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:17,360 Thanks for playing Mr And Mr And Mr And Mrs. Back to our seats. 758 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:19,920 GAME SHOW MUSIC PLAYS 759 00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,320 "Too controlling. She doesn't let me have the remote." 760 00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,000 But he doesn't even mute, he just turns it down, 761 00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:27,760 down, down, down, down, down, down, down. Yeah. 762 00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:29,640 Just fucking mute it. 763 00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:32,520 Whoa. 764 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,320 What a fascinating glimpse into your lives. 765 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,000 Well, we already know about your arsehole, so... 766 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,160 I wish I could press the mute button on my arsehole. 767 00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:44,640 LAUGHTER 768 00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,880 OK, on with the game. Sarah, your turn to pick the letters. 769 00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:52,280 Five consonants and four vowels, please. 770 00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:53,880 No messing around. Thank you, love. 771 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,360 All business. Oh, yeah, I'm not messing about. 772 00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:00,400 S and then A... Yeah, come on. 773 00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,880 ..E, O, E. 774 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,960 And your time starts now. 775 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,040 Erm, Sarah, how many letters? I've got a five, love. 776 00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,400 You've got a five. OK, Gary, how many? Five. 777 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:41,560 Alan? Six. 778 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:42,800 Oh! Munya? 779 00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:43,960 Also, six. 780 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,320 OK, well, Gary, what's your five? 781 00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,240 Stang. Stang? 782 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:50,440 Yeah. Like the past tense of sting. 783 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:54,080 Susie, how you feeling about stang? Sting, stung, so no stang. 784 00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,160 Sarah? I've got teens. 785 00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:59,320 Yeah. Teens. Erm, Munya, your six. 786 00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,320 I've got tangos. Yeah. Very good. 787 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:04,760 Alan, your six? Agents. 788 00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:07,600 Oh, six points to Alan and Munya. Well done, well done. 789 00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,640 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 790 00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,200 Susie, Don Rodolfo, my Spanish friend... 791 00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:15,920 LAUGHTER 792 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:17,960 ..could they have done any better, Don Rodolfo? 793 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:19,960 Yeah, they could have had neonates for eight. 794 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:23,360 Neonates. What's Neonates? A newborn infant. 795 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:25,760 So, at the end of that, Sarah and Gary are in the lead 796 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:28,920 with 19 points. Oh, for goodness' sake! 797 00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:32,440 And here is your final teaser. 798 00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:36,400 The words are, "Wankrise," the clue is, "That's a posh one." 799 00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:38,560 That's, "Wankrise," "That's a posh one." 800 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:39,600 See you after the break. 801 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,200 Welcome back, the answer to the teaser, 802 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:59,240 the words were, "Wankrise," the clue was, "That's a posh one." 803 00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:00,800 It was, of course, swankier. 804 00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,680 OK, time for our final letters game. Alan, Munya, your turn to choose. 805 00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:06,160 OK, erm... You choose. 806 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:07,200 Go on, you choose, love. No, no, no. 807 00:43:07,240 --> 00:43:10,440 No, go on, Munya, you choose. What is it, words? Erm... 808 00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:15,880 Oh, I'll choose. I'll choose. Erm, five consonants, please, 809 00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,360 and four vowels. 810 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:23,640 OK. R, L, Y, S, D. And then I. 811 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:25,600 We've got a problem with the clock, I'll do it on this, 812 00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:29,400 on my potato keyboard. U...A and E. 813 00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:31,680 Thank you. I'll just do a sound check. 814 00:43:31,720 --> 00:43:33,920 POTATOES PLAY PIANO NOTES 815 00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:40,680 OK, and your time starts...now. 816 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:45,280 HE PLAYS A TUNE 817 00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:53,000 HE PLAYS COUNTDOWN TUNE 818 00:43:53,400 --> 00:44:00,400 HE PLAYS JAZZY VERSION OF COUNTDOWN TUNE 819 00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:08,480 HE PLAYS COUNTDOWN TUNE 820 00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:13,680 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 821 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:17,560 Very good. 822 00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:18,800 HE PLAYS NOTES 823 00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:21,000 Erm, how many? Seven. 824 00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:22,800 Seven. Gary, how many? Six. 825 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,080 Six. OK, Alan? Seven. 826 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,480 Oh, Munya? Six for me. 827 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:28,800 What's your six, Munya? 828 00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:30,840 Easily. Gary, your six? 829 00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:32,240 Arises. 830 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,360 One S. So, you can't have arises. 831 00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:35,800 It's bad enough he's controlled by Sarah 832 00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,920 and now you're chipping in. Sarah, your seven? 833 00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,840 Erm, readily. Alan, your seven? 834 00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:43,520 Redials. 835 00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,840 Yep. Oof. That's beautiful. 836 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:46,880 Seven points to both teams. 837 00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:52,280 Susie, Don Rodolfo from Spain. 838 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:55,760 Yeah, they could have had, erm, residual for eight. 839 00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:57,440 Oh, we were so close to Ireland. 840 00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:01,120 LAUGHTER 841 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,960 Turn the U upside down. 842 00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:07,480 Turn the U upside down, you've got it. 843 00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:08,520 Nailed. 844 00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:12,160 He's so proud! 845 00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:19,040 OK, so Alan and Munya have 24. Sarah and Gary have 26. 846 00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:20,520 APPLAUSE 847 00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:25,280 No mucking about now, love. 848 00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:26,360 Fingers on buzzers, 849 00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:29,560 it's time for today's crucial Countdown Conundrum. 850 00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,480 You're time starts now. 851 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:39,440 BUZZER RINGS Yes! 852 00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:41,040 Is it imploring? 853 00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:42,480 Let's take a look. How the...? 854 00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:43,560 It is. Wow. 855 00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,840 Genuinely! APPLAUSE 856 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:49,160 I've never done it before! Whoa! That was amazing! 857 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:50,680 Five seconds in! Five seconds. 858 00:45:50,720 --> 00:45:53,520 I've never done it before. Wow. 859 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,800 So, the final scores are Sarah and Gary have 26 points, 860 00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,280 Alan and Munya have won with 34. 861 00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:03,840 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 862 00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:06,280 Congratulations, you're now the proud owner of this, 863 00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:08,880 the Countdown Practice Milking Set. 864 00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:12,720 Thanks to all our panellists, our wonderful studio audience 865 00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:15,520 and to all of you for watching at home. That's it from us, goodnight. 866 00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:19,880 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 867 00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,120 Subtitles by Red Bee Media