1 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:04,360 Ladies and gentlemen, please make some noise for Mr Jimmy Carr! 2 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:05,240 Ladies and gentlemen, please make some noise for Mr Jimmy Carr! 3 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:07,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Merry Christmas! 4 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:07,520 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Merry Christmas! 5 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,240 Hi, everyone. Thank you. 6 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,120 The power! LAUGHTER 7 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:16,440 The power! LAUGHTER 8 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:17,720 Thanks for coming out. Merry Christmas, everyone. 9 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,480 You all right? CHEERING 10 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,960 OK, so, we've got an amazing line-up. 11 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,000 We've got team captains Jon Richardson and Rob Beckett, 12 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:23,920 We've got team captains Jon Richardson and Rob Beckett, 13 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,960 Judi Love, Daisy May Cooper, 14 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:26,240 Judi Love, Daisy May Cooper, 15 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:27,880 Katie Norris, Susie Dent and Rachel Riley. 16 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:29,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE That's the show. 17 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:30,160 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE That's the show. 18 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:33,720 It's great to have you here. 19 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,760 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUES 20 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:36,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUES 21 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:37,280 Christmassy! 22 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:41,800 Feels a bit cooler. It's lovely. It's great. 23 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:42,280 Feels a bit cooler. It's lovely. It's great. 24 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,160 OK. Is everyone all right? 25 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,200 I'm worried I don't look Christmassy enough. 26 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:48,520 I'm worried I don't look Christmassy enough. 27 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,560 LAUGHTER Shall we do this? 28 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:50,880 LAUGHTER Shall we do this? 29 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,920 Yeah. Yeah. We should do this. Ah. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 30 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:53,160 Yeah. Yeah. We should do this. Ah. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 31 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,960 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 32 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,000 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 33 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,680 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 34 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,400 Hello and welcome to 35 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:32,440 the 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown Christmas Special, 36 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:33,200 the 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown Christmas Special, 37 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,240 a show about letters, numbers, conundrums and Christmas. 38 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:36,240 a show about letters, numbers, conundrums and Christmas. 39 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:37,960 OK, let's meet tonight's players. 40 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,000 First up, it's team captain Jon Richardson. 41 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:40,680 First up, it's team captain Jon Richardson. 42 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,720 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 43 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:43,360 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 44 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,000 Jon does look like one of Santa's elves, 45 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:48,320 Jon does look like one of Santa's elves, 46 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,120 but the one that works in accounts. 47 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:52,840 You would know. 48 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,400 And Jon's team-mate, Daisy May Cooper. 49 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,400 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 50 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,920 Daisy claims she once attempted to have sex with a ghost. 51 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:04,880 Daisy claims she once attempted to have sex with a ghost. 52 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,160 I bet that put the willies up you! 53 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,240 Oh, God! 54 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,280 Up against them this evening, team captain Rob Beckett. 55 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:10,760 Up against them this evening, team captain Rob Beckett. 56 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,800 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thank you, thank you. 57 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:13,560 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thank you, thank you. 58 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,040 Rob Beckett loves Christmas because of the huge 59 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:17,320 Rob Beckett loves Christmas because of the huge 60 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,240 smiles on his kids' faces, 61 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,280 which, sadly for them, are genetic. 62 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:22,200 which, sadly for them, are genetic. 63 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,280 And joining Rob tonight, it's Judi Love. 64 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 65 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:28,520 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 66 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,440 Judi Love attended drama school for four months 67 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:32,720 Judi Love attended drama school for four months 68 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,800 but left after she fell pregnant. 69 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,840 And that is as close as Hackney is going to get 70 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:37,160 And that is as close as Hackney is going to get 71 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,200 to the nativity story. 72 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:39,560 to the nativity story. 73 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,560 So, you were at drama school and you fell pregnant? 74 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,600 So, that's...Yeah, it was... No. That's a hell of an improv session. 75 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:44,120 So, that's...Yeah, it was... No. That's a hell of an improv session. 76 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,160 It was proper. It was live. Everyone enjoyed it. 77 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:46,840 It was proper. It was live. Everyone enjoyed it. 78 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,440 It was a different kind of show. 79 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,680 Did you do any more acting after that? 80 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,720 We could do an improv moment right now. OK. 81 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:54,080 We could do an improv moment right now. OK. 82 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,480 That night... Yeah. 83 00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,640 ..it was so special to me. 84 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,840 Wait, is he the dad? 85 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,520 Jon, have you ever been asked to turn on a town's Christmas lights? 86 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,040 Jon, have you ever been asked to turn on a town's Christmas lights? 87 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,080 You sound very unwell, Jimmy. 88 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:12,360 You sound very unwell, Jimmy. 89 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,000 The voice box is the only thing you haven't had replaced, 90 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,280 and now look. 91 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,480 Uh, yeah, I did a few last year, 92 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:20,760 Uh, yeah, I did a few last year, 93 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,600 actually, but none of them have asked me back. 94 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,920 I hooked them all up to spark meters. 95 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,240 I had a few booked in this year, but then Andrew became available. 96 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,160 I had a few booked in this year, but then Andrew became available. 97 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,520 You can't beat a royal who wants to work cash-in-hand. 98 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,200 You can't beat a royal who wants to work cash-in-hand. 99 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,800 All right. Daisy, what was it like growing up with your brother Charlie? 100 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,160 All right. Daisy, what was it like growing up with your brother Charlie? 101 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,200 Traumatic. Christmases were very traumatic. 102 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:46,600 Traumatic. Christmases were very traumatic. 103 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,640 Our great nan came to stay with us one Christmas. 104 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:49,920 Our great nan came to stay with us one Christmas. 105 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,960 I was about eight. Charlie was about five, 106 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:52,840 I was about eight. Charlie was about five, 107 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,880 and we had bunk beds. Christmas Eve, we heard the door open 108 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,920 and we had bunk beds. Christmas Eve, we heard the door open 109 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:57,240 and we had bunk beds. Christmas Eve, we heard the door open 110 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,960 and we thought, "Oh, my God, it's Santa Claus." 111 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,320 And it wasn't. 112 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:02,360 It was our great nan, who was naked, 113 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:03,760 It was our great nan, who was naked, 114 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,800 sleepwalking WITH night terrors. 115 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:06,160 sleepwalking WITH night terrors. 116 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,200 Right? She just walked into our room and screamed. 117 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,160 Right? She just walked into our room and screamed. 118 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,720 Horrendous. Her tits were by her ankles. 119 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:13,000 Horrendous. Her tits were by her ankles. 120 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:13,800 What part...? 121 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,000 So what part of her made you think it was Father Christmas? 122 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:17,960 So what part of her made you think it was Father Christmas? 123 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,520 The long beard. The long beard. 124 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,760 It was awful. It was horrible. 125 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:25,480 It was awful. It was horrible. 126 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,520 Rob, what element of Christmas would you ban? 127 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:27,840 Rob, what element of Christmas would you ban? 128 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,880 I would ban The Snowman. The depressing cartoon? 129 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:30,840 I would ban The Snowman. The depressing cartoon? 130 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,880 Yeah, that. It's on every year. Why?! Ah, it's shit. 131 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,000 Yeah, that. It's on every year. Why?! Ah, it's shit. 132 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,320 It's a shit drawing. Like, we've got Moana now. 133 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:39,080 It's a shit drawing. Like, we've got Moana now. 134 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,120 Proper CGI. Animation's moved on. 135 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,520 Proper CGI. Animation's moved on. 136 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,560 I don't want to watch something worse at a special time. 137 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:44,880 I don't want to watch something worse at a special time. 138 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,920 Do you know what I mean? So, yeah, I'll get rid of The Snowman. 139 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,520 Do you know what I mean? So, yeah, I'll get rid of The Snowman. 140 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,560 So I've upset the entire nation, then. 141 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:51,200 So I've upset the entire nation, then. 142 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,240 Do you like The Snowman? Yeah, I do. He dies at the end. 143 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,120 Do you like The Snowman? Yeah, I do. He dies at the end. 144 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,680 Do you not like that bit, when he dies? 145 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,720 He dies? Oh, I'll watch it this year. 146 00:04:58,760 --> 00:04:58,960 He dies? Oh, I'll watch it this year. 147 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,960 Judi, are you a good cook? Do you do Christmas dinner? 148 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:03,720 Judi, are you a good cook? Do you do Christmas dinner? 149 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,760 Yeah. It depends on whether, you know, the spirit takes me. 150 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:06,800 Yeah. It depends on whether, you know, the spirit takes me. 151 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,520 The spirit is called rum. 152 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,640 Your food situation at Christmas - 153 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,160 we've spoken about this before - is mental, 154 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,960 how much food you make. We do everything. 155 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,000 We do rice and peas, and we do plain rice. 156 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,040 Then we do curry goat and then we do jerk chicken. 157 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:19,640 Then we do curry goat and then we do jerk chicken. 158 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,680 Then we have fried chicken. But in the morning we 159 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:22,000 Then we have fried chicken. But in the morning we 160 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,040 have fried fish, Escovitch fish with hardo bread. 161 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:24,440 have fried fish, Escovitch fish with hardo bread. 162 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,240 We might have ackee and saltfish. Then we kind 163 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,280 of add our little British culture, which is a bit of toast. 164 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:29,960 of add our little British culture, which is a bit of toast. 165 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,240 And then... 166 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:33,280 LAUGHTER 167 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:33,680 LAUGHTER 168 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,720 Then we have dessert, and you've got the black cake. 169 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:36,040 Then we have dessert, and you've got the black cake. 170 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,840 We've got everything. Fruits and cream. 171 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,880 It feels like you could cut the plain rice course. 172 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:40,200 It feels like you could cut the plain rice course. 173 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,240 Oh, no, no, no. This is Jamaican rice. 174 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:42,840 Oh, no, no, no. This is Jamaican rice. 175 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,040 There's nothing plain in there. 176 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,960 Even the plain white rice is seasoned. 177 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,000 It's washed. It's got salt. It's got butter. 178 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:48,320 It's washed. It's got salt. It's got butter. 179 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,360 It's washed?!Oh, let's not go there, white people, please! 180 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:51,680 It's washed?!Oh, let's not go there, white people, please! 181 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,480 You wash it and then you let it bubble 182 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,320 up and you put butter and you put salt. 183 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,360 You put a bit of thyme and I like to, with my plain white rice, 184 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:00,360 You put a bit of thyme and I like to, with my plain white rice, 185 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,160 I get a Scotch bonnet, when it's simmering, 186 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,240 and I put the Scotch bonnet 187 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,640 in the middle and just let it simmer it down. 188 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:05,920 Don't let it burst. 189 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,520 Let me tell you something. You will never... 190 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,560 Like they say - once you go black, you don't go back. 191 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:10,040 Like they say - once you go black, you don't go back. 192 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,080 Once you go white rice with a Scotch bonnet, 193 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:12,560 Once you go white rice with a Scotch bonnet, 194 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,680 you won't go back. I'm telling you. 195 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,720 Try it, people. It sounds good. Sounds good. Thank you. SINGLE CLAP 196 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:17,040 Try it, people. It sounds good. Sounds good. Thank you. SINGLE CLAP 197 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,520 Thank you for the one clap. 198 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,200 OK. Jon, have you got a mascot? I have. 199 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:22,520 OK. Jon, have you got a mascot? I have. 200 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,560 What have you got?Um, well, it's all about Christmas traditions. 201 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:25,320 What have you got?Um, well, it's all about Christmas traditions. 202 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:27,360 For me, the best tradition of Christmas is 203 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,120 For me, the best tradition of Christmas is 204 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,160 when you get your Christmas morning bin bag. 205 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:30,400 when you get your Christmas morning bin bag. 206 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,880 APPLAUSE 207 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:37,080 APPLAUSE 208 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,120 I start looking for mine about September. 209 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,200 I'd start filling it with that suit. 210 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,640 So, you know, you've got to start thinking about 211 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:49,960 So, you know, you've got to start thinking about 212 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,480 what sort of load it's going to take. 213 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,520 Uh, what thickness of bag you want. You know, 214 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:53,840 Uh, what thickness of bag you want. You know, 215 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,880 you get the wrong Christmas, and the kids have been up at 5:30, 216 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:56,240 you get the wrong Christmas, and the kids have been up at 5:30, 217 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:58,280 you're three Christmas bin bags in by 6:00. 218 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,320 You ain't coming back from that. Christmas Day is over. 219 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:00,640 You ain't coming back from that. Christmas Day is over. 220 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,680 Is that a heavy-duty? It's not full heavy-duty. 221 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:03,000 Is that a heavy-duty? It's not full heavy-duty. 222 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,040 Because then I think, um, there's too much heft to it. 223 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:05,360 Because then I think, um, there's too much heft to it. 224 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,400 Right. And it sort of takes... You want the crinkle. 225 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:07,680 Right. And it sort of takes... You want the crinkle. 226 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:08,760 Yeah. You want some of that. 227 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,800 Some of that Christmas... Are you struggling with that? 228 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:11,080 Some of that Christmas... Are you struggling with that? 229 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:12,360 I am struggling a little bit. 230 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,960 I don't think you've picked the right bag. 231 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,320 I don't think you've picked the right bag. 232 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,360 Oh. AUDIENCE REACT 233 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:19,680 Oh. AUDIENCE REACT 234 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,560 Oh, I like that. Don't criticise his black bag. 235 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,600 No. I've been having Christmas bags for years. 236 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:24,320 No. I've been having Christmas bags for years. 237 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,600 Ah, you always remember your... 238 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,640 Oh, I get emotional looking at this picture. 239 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:27,960 Oh, I get emotional looking at this picture. 240 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,000 Your first Christmas bin bag is, um... It's a real thing. 241 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:31,600 Your first Christmas bin bag is, um... It's a real thing. 242 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:32,720 Is that...? 243 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,160 Is that really you?That's me, yeah. Which one? 244 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,200 Is that really you?That's me, yeah. Which one? 245 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:38,480 Is that really you?That's me, yeah. Which one? 246 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,520 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 247 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,360 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 248 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,400 Yeah, my sister's in that picture, but the, um... 249 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:44,120 Yeah, my sister's in that picture, but the, um... 250 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:45,840 The team have taken the decision to edit her out 251 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,880 and put the bag where she was stood. So that's a...that's a conversation 252 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,480 and put the bag where she was stood. So that's a...that's a conversation 253 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,520 we'll have at my real family Christmas. 254 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:51,760 we'll have at my real family Christmas. 255 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,680 Daisy, have you got a mascot? Do you want to bring him out? 256 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:56,880 Daisy, have you got a mascot? Do you want to bring him out? 257 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,920 Oh, this is my son Benji, dressed as a Christmas pudding. 258 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,960 Oh, this is my son Benji, dressed as a Christmas pudding. 259 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:01,520 Oh, this is my son Benji, dressed as a Christmas pudding. 260 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,560 Oh! Thank you, babe. Oh. Hello, poppet. 261 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,600 Oh! Thank you, babe. Oh. Hello, poppet. 262 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:05,880 Oh! Thank you, babe. Oh. Hello, poppet. 263 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,680 Um...Yeah. It's only 264 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,720 because I sort of fucked up a bit with childcare. 265 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:10,600 because I sort of fucked up a bit with childcare. 266 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,480 I said, "Can I bring him?" And they said, "Fine." 267 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:17,000 I said, "Can I bring him?" And they said, "Fine." 268 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,720 And they said, "Have you brought a mascot?" 269 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,760 And I said, "No." Bless him. 270 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:21,080 And I said, "No." Bless him. 271 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,120 You were a bit scared of Jimmy earlier, weren't you? 272 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:24,920 You were a bit scared of Jimmy earlier, weren't you? 273 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,280 He's not the Grinch. 274 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,680 Look! Here he is. He's a nice man. You wave to him. 275 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:30,720 Look! Here he is. He's a nice man. You wave to him. 276 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,760 Stop it.Hello! 277 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:33,000 Stop it.Hello! 278 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,760 Hi! 279 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:36,800 How old are you? You are 17 months. 17 months? 280 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,480 How old are you? You are 17 months. 17 months? 281 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,440 Yeah. Well, talk me through the conception. 282 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,440 It was really great, actually. 283 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:45,520 It was really great, actually. 284 00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:46,880 In a Travelodge. 285 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,440 Really?!Really, yeah. I've had the best times there. 286 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,080 Really?!Really, yeah. I've had the best times there. 287 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,120 Straight talk. Are you 100% sure that's not Rob Beckett's? 288 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,080 Straight talk. Are you 100% sure that's not Rob Beckett's? 289 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:00,240 Show us your teeth. 290 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,720 Thanks, darling. He's not going to bite you, 291 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:05,040 Thanks, darling. He's not going to bite you, 292 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,080 the nasty man. Can I ask...?Oh! 293 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,360 the nasty man. Can I ask...?Oh! 294 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,400 Oh, darling. I'm so sorry. 295 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:10,680 Oh, darling. I'm so sorry. 296 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,720 And you've picked up a child before, have you? 297 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:12,960 And you've picked up a child before, have you? 298 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:16,760 You know... 299 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,800 APPLAUSE 300 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,840 Judi, have you got a mascot? I have got a mascot. 301 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,400 Judi, have you got a mascot? I have got a mascot. 302 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,440 My Jamaican crackers. 303 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:24,640 My Jamaican crackers. 304 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,040 Yeah. I'm Jamaican, if you didn't know. 305 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:28,360 Yeah. I'm Jamaican, if you didn't know. 306 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,400 It just...it just brings you into, like, my kind of household 307 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:31,120 It just...it just brings you into, like, my kind of household 308 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,160 and my vibes with different words and stuff that I can teach you. 309 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,200 and my vibes with different words and stuff that I can teach you. 310 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:35,520 and my vibes with different words and stuff that I can teach you. 311 00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:36,960 So, pull it open. CRACKER BANGS 312 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,760 Woo! 313 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,800 Now, can you read what that says with your best Jamaican accent? 314 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,840 Now, can you read what that says with your best Jamaican accent? 315 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:43,760 Now, can you read what that says with your best Jamaican accent? 316 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,640 Oh! 317 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,160 Bye, Rob. 318 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,240 Likkle more? Yes! Likkle more. Likkle more. 319 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:52,640 Likkle more? Yes! Likkle more. Likkle more. 320 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:54,360 Do you know what that means? A little more? 321 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,400 Lick it more. Oh. 322 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,200 No, it doesn't. Likkle more. 323 00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,840 Yeah, it means a little more, like... 324 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,880 Or you could say in the same thing, like, 325 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:02,200 Or you could say in the same thing, like, 326 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,240 "Yeah, I'll see you soon. Likkle more. Like, soon come." 327 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:04,560 "Yeah, I'll see you soon. Likkle more. Like, soon come." 328 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,600 Likkle more. Gun finger? All right, then. OK. 329 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:07,080 Likkle more. Gun finger? All right, then. OK. 330 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,080 Just got carried away. 331 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,800 Rob definitely cancelled after that. 332 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,520 Woo! 333 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:15,400 Go on. Merry Christmas. 334 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,440 See if Jon... Give it to Jon. Yeah, say that. 335 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:18,240 See if Jon... Give it to Jon. Yeah, say that. 336 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:19,800 Wagwan, Jon.Yeah. 337 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,760 "Me day yah". Mi deh yah. Say it faster, though. Mi deh yah. 338 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,360 "Me day yah". Mi deh yah. Say it faster, though. Mi deh yah. 339 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,400 "Where are you?" "Mi deh yah. Mi deh yah. 340 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,240 "You can't see me? Me here. Me here." 341 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,280 You're there? Yeah, yeah! Say it with your chest, 342 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,440 You're there? Yeah, yeah! Say it with your chest, 343 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,480 though, Jon. I'm here! No, no. 344 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:34,920 though, Jon. I'm here! No, no. 345 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,360 I'm right here, Judi. You've missed that "mi deh yah". 346 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:39,840 I'm right here, Judi. You've missed that "mi deh yah". 347 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,880 Weh deh, Jon?! Jon! 348 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:42,120 Weh deh, Jon?! Jon! 349 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,960 Mi deh yah! Yeah! 350 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,000 APPLAUSE 351 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:46,240 APPLAUSE 352 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,240 But, Jimmy, I will say, 353 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,280 you definitely know your language 354 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:50,600 you definitely know your language 355 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,640 because the other one is usually wagwan 356 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:53,200 because the other one is usually wagwan 357 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,240 and you said it before even being prompt. 358 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:55,520 and you said it before even being prompt. 359 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:56,880 So big up yourself, Jimmy. 360 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,080 Sometimes look at me like I'm some sort of bumbaclart. 361 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,120 Sometimes look at me like I'm some sort of bumbaclart. 362 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:05,440 Sometimes look at me like I'm some sort of bumbaclart. 363 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,480 APPLAUSE 364 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:07,920 APPLAUSE 365 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,440 Rob, have you got a mascot? Can it not be racist? 366 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:12,680 Rob, have you got a mascot? Can it not be racist? 367 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,320 The answer is yes, and then no. 368 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:16,920 The answer is yes, and then no. 369 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,960 Yeah, I do have a mascot. What I've got is... I was getting 370 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:19,960 Yeah, I do have a mascot. What I've got is... I was getting 371 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,520 the Christmas decorations out the loft, 372 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,600 as you do, and I stumbled across 373 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,640 a box full of Christmas presents that I've got my wife, 374 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:26,600 a box full of Christmas presents that I've got my wife, 375 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,640 Lou, in the past that she's never used. 376 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:28,960 Lou, in the past that she's never used. 377 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,000 These are presents you bought for the good lady? 378 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:31,440 These are presents you bought for the good lady? 379 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,480 These are presents I bought for my wife that she doesn't want. 380 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:33,760 These are presents I bought for my wife that she doesn't want. 381 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,800 And I think she's bang out of order. 382 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:36,240 And I think she's bang out of order. 383 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,280 It's already good. She's into Arts and Crafts. 384 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:42,120 It's already good. She's into Arts and Crafts. 385 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,840 I got her a seven-piece chisel set. 386 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,240 This was a good one. 387 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:49,600 Wood varnish. 388 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,960 She kept on saying she wanted that fence painted, so I got this. 389 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,160 She kept on saying she wanted that fence painted, so I got this. 390 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,520 She did fuck all with it. 391 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,440 We wanted to try and spice things up in the bedroom. 392 00:11:59,480 --> 00:11:59,800 We wanted to try and spice things up in the bedroom. 393 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,840 Right.You know, you're in a marriage, you sort of think... 394 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:02,320 Right.You know, you're in a marriage, you sort of think... 395 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,280 I don't know. So I got her a little outfit. 396 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,320 You don't know? What, about spicing things up in the bedroom? 397 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:06,920 You don't know? What, about spicing things up in the bedroom? 398 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,400 I'm not married. 399 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,440 You have plain sex with a Scotch bonnet in the middle of you. 400 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:10,720 You have plain sex with a Scotch bonnet in the middle of you. 401 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,760 APPLAUSE 402 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:14,960 APPLAUSE 403 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,240 Anyway, so I thought I'll get... 404 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,280 ..I'll get her an outfit to wear for a bit of sexy time. 405 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:21,560 ..I'll get her an outfit to wear for a bit of sexy time. 406 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:22,640 So I got her this. 407 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,120 But I thought that might be quite nice. 408 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,160 Bit of role play. She never wore it. What a piss-take. 409 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:29,720 Bit of role play. She never wore it. What a piss-take. 410 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,680 It's a beautiful gift. You know, this one, 411 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,640 she didn't want this one either. Bottle of champagne. 412 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,480 What can be the problem with a bottle of champagne? 413 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,360 That's nice. You know? What's it say on the label? 414 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,400 "To Rob, thanks for all your hard work on the Baftas." 415 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:40,440 "To Rob, thanks for all your hard work on the Baftas." 416 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,080 APPLAUSE 417 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:45,280 APPLAUSE 418 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:46,760 What are you going to do, eh? 419 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:50,160 Jimmy will have the wood varnish. He's due a... 420 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,840 You're due a recoat. 421 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,880 APPLAUSE 422 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:54,880 APPLAUSE 423 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,920 Over in Dictionary Corner, it's Katie Norris. 424 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:57,200 Over in Dictionary Corner, it's Katie Norris. 425 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 426 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 427 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,160 Merry Christmas, Jimmy. Well, merry Christmas to you. 428 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:02,480 Merry Christmas, Jimmy. Well, merry Christmas to you. 429 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,520 It's your first time on the show. Tell us a little bit about yourself. 430 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:04,800 It's your first time on the show. Tell us a little bit about yourself. 431 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,040 Uh, well, my name is Katie 432 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,080 and people often think I've got divorced-woman energy, 433 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:08,800 and people often think I've got divorced-woman energy, 434 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,840 but...I've actually never been married. 435 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,480 but...I've actually never been married. 436 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,120 And I'm not a mum. 437 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,160 Just a woman with a tight snatch, a loose tongue and a social life. 438 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,160 Just a woman with a tight snatch, a loose tongue and a social life. 439 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,600 Can I just get a bit of commotion for the outfit? 440 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:21,080 Can I just get a bit of commotion for the outfit? 441 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,120 CHEERING 442 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:23,360 CHEERING 443 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,640 Thank you. 444 00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:27,960 Thank you. 445 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,920 So I only wear this for special occasions. 446 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,720 There was a bit of an issue with the crotch, though, 447 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,640 because it started to erode. 448 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,320 Um, but the, uh... 449 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,360 The designers sewed into my crotch 450 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,400 a professor's elbow. You know, like a suede patch? 451 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:40,800 a professor's elbow. You know, like a suede patch? 452 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,840 Which does feel quite funny to me because I'm not used to feeling 453 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:43,160 Which does feel quite funny to me because I'm not used to feeling 454 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,200 a professor's elbow down there, but I wanted to feel confident. 455 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,160 a professor's elbow down there, but I wanted to feel confident. 456 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,800 Could you tell us less about yourself? 457 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:53,040 Could you tell us less about yourself? 458 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:56,760 I've got a gift for you, Jimmy. Excellent. 459 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:57,080 I've got a gift for you, Jimmy. Excellent. 460 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:58,920 It's Christmas.It took me 8.5 hours. 461 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,960 So I recently trained to become a taxidermist. 462 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:01,800 So I recently trained to become a taxidermist. 463 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,440 Um... 464 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,400 This is Boo. JUDI:Oh. 465 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:08,680 This is Boo. JUDI:Oh. 466 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,720 Boo Radley. I mean, Boo-Boo's showing her boo-boo. 467 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:11,840 Boo Radley. I mean, Boo-Boo's showing her boo-boo. 468 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,880 Yes, her boo-boo. Yeah. That's a squirrel's elbow down there. 469 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,360 Yes, her boo-boo. Yeah. That's a squirrel's elbow down there. 470 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,400 APPLAUSE 471 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:18,000 APPLAUSE 472 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,040 And with Katie, of course, it's Susie Dent. 473 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:20,680 And with Katie, of course, it's Susie Dent. 474 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,720 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 475 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 476 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,680 Susie's books make a great 477 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:27,720 last-minute Christmas gift for people you don't like. 478 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:28,360 last-minute Christmas gift for people you don't like. 479 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,000 What's your favourite festive word, Susie? 480 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,040 Oh, wonderclout. 481 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:34,800 Oh, wonderclout. 482 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,840 And a wonderclout is something that looks really promising, 483 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,080 And a wonderclout is something that looks really promising, 484 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:39,440 you think it's going to be great, 485 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,480 and it ends up being really disappointing. 486 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:42,240 and it ends up being really disappointing. 487 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,680 Oh, I've got one of those.Yeah. 488 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,040 Yeah. Actually, there is... In wrestling, 489 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:47,440 Yeah. Actually, there is... In wrestling, 490 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,480 there is a Christmas hold, which is when one wrestler gets the other by 491 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,520 there is a Christmas hold, which is when one wrestler gets the other by 492 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:52,160 there is a Christmas hold, which is when one wrestler gets the other by 493 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,200 the crotch and gets a handful of nuts. 494 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:54,640 the crotch and gets a handful of nuts. 495 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,200 I think that's what your squirrel has. 496 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,240 Was that nuts on the squirrel, then, or a bulky vagina? 497 00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,600 Was that nuts on the squirrel, then, or a bulky vagina? 498 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:01,200 No, these are nuts. 499 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,360 Did you just ask, "Was it nuts or a bulky vagina"? 500 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,040 Did you just ask, "Was it nuts or a bulky vagina"? 501 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,360 I think it was a fair question. I don't think we're using the phrase 502 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,480 I think it was a fair question. I don't think we're using the phrase 503 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,520 "bulky vagina" enough on our Christmas show. 504 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:15,520 "bulky vagina" enough on our Christmas show. 505 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,560 And in charge of the numbers, it's Rachel Riley. 506 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:17,880 And in charge of the numbers, it's Rachel Riley. 507 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 508 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:20,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 509 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,560 I'm not saying Rachel's 510 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,600 Christmas dress is short, but I think I can see her grotto. 511 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:27,840 Christmas dress is short, but I think I can see her grotto. 512 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,400 It's not bulky, either. 513 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,240 APPLAUSE 514 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,720 Thanks for sharing. Merry Christmas. Rachel... 515 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:40,680 Thanks for sharing. Merry Christmas. Rachel... 516 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,960 ..what is your favourite Christmas statistic? 517 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,000 You know how people put food out for Santa and the reindeer? 518 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:46,520 You know how people put food out for Santa and the reindeer? 519 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,560 So some people put milk out. And apparently in the UK, 520 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:49,200 So some people put milk out. And apparently in the UK, 521 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,240 1.3 million cans of beer get put out for Santa on Christmas Eve, 522 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,000 1.3 million cans of beer get put out for Santa on Christmas Eve, 523 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,040 which is about 2.5 million units of alcohol. 524 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,240 which is about 2.5 million units of alcohol. 525 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,280 So Santa is about 600,000 times the drink-drive limit 526 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,320 So Santa is about 600,000 times the drink-drive limit 527 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,240 So Santa is about 600,000 times the drink-drive limit 528 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:02,960 when he's going around up there. 529 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,000 So he can't even read that naughty list. 530 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:05,320 So he can't even read that naughty list. 531 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,360 Which explains why my little one gets presents every year 532 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:07,640 Which explains why my little one gets presents every year 533 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,280 and she's an absolute shit. 534 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,600 Rachel Riley, everyone. 535 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,640 APPLAUSE 536 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:15,400 APPLAUSE 537 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,440 OK. And the prize the teams will be competing for tonight is definitely 538 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,960 OK. And the prize the teams will be competing for tonight is definitely 539 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,000 not an elf on a shelf. For legal reasons, 540 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:21,320 not an elf on a shelf. For legal reasons, 541 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,360 it's the Countdown elf upon a mantelpiece. 542 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,280 it's the Countdown elf upon a mantelpiece. 543 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,320 APPLAUSE 544 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:27,520 APPLAUSE 545 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,000 Thanks for lending him the gear, Jon. 546 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:35,240 Thanks for lending him the gear, Jon. 547 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,680 OK, let's Countdown, everyone. Time for our first game. 548 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:39,400 OK, let's Countdown, everyone. Time for our first game. 549 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,440 Rob, Judi, you get first pick of the letters. 550 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:42,080 Rob, Judi, you get first pick of the letters. 551 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,120 Consonant. OK, straight in. Thank you, Judi. 552 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,040 Consonant. OK, straight in. Thank you, Judi. 553 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,320 R 554 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,360 You can pick. Can I get a vowel, please? Yeah. 555 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,000 You can pick. Can I get a vowel, please? Yeah. 556 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,400 O 557 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,080 Another vowel, please. 558 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:53,120 E 559 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,320 Consonant, please. 560 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,560 N 561 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,600 Am I still going? Yeah, it looks like it. 562 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:58,680 Am I still going? Yeah, it looks like it. 563 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,000 Another consonant, please. 564 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,120 C 565 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,200 Vowel. 566 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,240 U 567 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,960 Do you want to go? No? Vowel. No. Do you want to...? 568 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,480 A. Do you want to start writing it down, though? 569 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,520 Oh, I thought I was saying it, you was writing it. 570 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:08,800 Oh, I thought I was saying it, you was writing it. 571 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:09,600 Vowel, please. 572 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,760 JON:Are you sure? I wasn't, but now I am, just to piss you off. 573 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:13,920 JON:Are you sure? I wasn't, but now I am, just to piss you off. 574 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,640 Yeah. 575 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:16,840 O 576 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,440 And then fuck it, another vowel. 577 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,320 APPLAUSE 578 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,320 You have to have four... 579 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:24,240 I'm overruling. We'll have a consonant. 580 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:25,800 You have to have four consonants on this game. 581 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:26,960 T 582 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,000 Oh, I see a word. Oh, yeah. 583 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:29,320 Oh, I see a word. Oh, yeah. 584 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,160 Merry Christmas, everyone! 585 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,960 And for the first time today, here's the Countdown Clock. 586 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:40,480 And for the first time today, here's the Countdown Clock. 587 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,000 {\an8}# It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... # 588 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,400 {\an8}# It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... # 589 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,800 {\an8}Ooh! 590 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,840 {\an8}# Everywhere you go 591 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,360 {\an8}# Everywhere you go 592 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,400 {\an8}# Take a look in the five and ten 593 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:53,040 {\an8}# Take a look in the five and ten 594 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,080 # Glistening once again... # 595 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:55,320 # Glistening once again... # 596 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,200 Oh, Rob. 597 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,240 # With candy canes and silver lanes aglow 598 00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,200 # With candy canes and silver lanes aglow 599 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,240 # It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas 600 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,280 # It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas 601 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:04,080 # It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas 602 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,280 # Toys in every store... # 603 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:06,640 It's quite hard to read. 604 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,800 # But the prettiest sight to see 605 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,840 # Is the holly that will be on your own front door. # 606 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,880 # Is the holly that will be on your own front door. # 607 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,440 # Is the holly that will be on your own front door. # 608 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:16,560 MAGICAL TINKLING 609 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 610 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,640 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 611 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:20,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 612 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,000 Er... 613 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,280 ..Rob, what have you got? 614 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,320 A four. 615 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:25,560 A four. 616 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:26,640 Judi, how many? 617 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,200 Seven. Seven?Yeah. 618 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,280 Daisy, how many? 619 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,320 I got six. OK. Jon? 620 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:31,880 I got six. OK. Jon? 621 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:32,960 Seven. 622 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,000 Rob, what is your broadcastable four-letter word? 623 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:35,760 Rob, what is your broadcastable four-letter word? 624 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,640 CART. Daisy, your six? 625 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:38,800 TOUCAN 626 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,120 JUDI:Ooh, nice. 627 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,160 Er, Judi, your seven? 628 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:42,400 Er, Judi, your seven? 629 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:43,440 COUNTER 630 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:44,760 Mm-hm. Very good. 631 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,800 Oh, my golly! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 632 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:47,080 Oh, my golly! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 633 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:48,520 DAISY:Oh, wow! 634 00:18:49,494 --> 00:18:51,120 And, Jon, your seven? 635 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,360 CARTOON 636 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,080 - Ah! - Oh, my goodness. 637 00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:58,360 Wow. Seven points to both teams. 638 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:58,640 Wow. Seven points to both teams. 639 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,600 Katie, Susie, what could they have had? 640 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,040 Well, you could have had an eight. 641 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,600 PLAYERS GASP 642 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:04,800 COURANTE 643 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,840 Um, it's a 16th-century court dance. 644 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:07,680 Um, it's a 16th-century court dance. 645 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,640 Short steps forward, short steps back. 646 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,680 It's a bit mincing. I think you'd be quite good at this, Jimmy. 647 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:11,960 It's a bit mincing. I think you'd be quite good at this, Jimmy. 648 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:12,880 Little... 649 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,920 Christmasy.Very Christmassy. Nice. 650 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:15,200 Christmasy.Very Christmassy. Nice. 651 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,240 So, at the end of that, both teams have 7 points. 652 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:17,520 So, at the end of that, both teams have 7 points. 653 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,400 Well done, Judi! 654 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,200 OK, on to our first numbers round. 655 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,240 Jon, Daisy, your turn to pick the numbers. 656 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:23,560 Jon, Daisy, your turn to pick the numbers. 657 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:24,600 Would you like to pick the numbers? No. 658 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,120 Two big ones, please. 659 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,160 3, 3, 660 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:30,400 3, 3, 661 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,200 5, 4, 662 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,240 50 and 75. 663 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:34,480 50 and 75. 664 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,040 And the target? 665 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,480 667 666 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,520 OK, and your time starts now. 667 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:40,280 OK, and your time starts now. 668 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,840 OK, so the target was 667. 669 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:13,400 OK, so the target was 667. 670 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,440 Rob, did you get it? 671 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,480 I got 669, so...no. 672 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,360 I got 669, so...no. 673 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,640 Judi, did you get it? 674 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,080 No. Daisy, did you get it? 675 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,520 I got 9. 676 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,160 I've written... 677 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,200 5 + 4 = 9? 678 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:28,360 5 + 4 = 9? 679 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,440 Judi done that as 33, not two lots of 3. 680 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,920 Judi done that as 33, not two lots of 3. 681 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:36,560 Jon, did you get it? 682 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,440 666 683 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,480 ALL: Ooh! 684 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:41,040 ALL: Ooh! 685 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,320 The number of the Beast. 686 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,360 At Christmas, Jon! How could you? 687 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:44,920 At Christmas, Jon! How could you? 688 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,040 How did you do it? 689 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,080 5 + 4 = 9 690 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:48,320 5 + 4 = 9 691 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:49,360 Yep. Satanic. 692 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,320 x 75 693 00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:52,360 Evil. 694 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:53,400 = 675 695 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,440 3 x 3 = 9 696 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:55,720 3 x 3 = 9 697 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:56,920 And take it away. 698 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,320 = 666 JUDI:Wow. 699 00:20:58,360 --> 00:20:59,480 7 points to Jon. 700 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,520 APPLAUSE 701 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:01,720 APPLAUSE 702 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,840 Rachel, could it be done? 703 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,640 It could. If you say... 704 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,680 4 x 3 = 12 705 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:09,200 4 x 3 = 12 706 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,240 x 50 = 600 707 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:11,640 x 50 = 600 708 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:12,680 Yes! 709 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:13,760 + 75 - 3 - 5 710 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,080 What are you saying "yes" for? 711 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:17,120 Yeah. I was almost right. 712 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:17,720 Yeah. I was almost right. 713 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,240 OK, so Rob and Judi have 7. Jon and Daisy have 14 points. 714 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,760 OK, so Rob and Judi have 7. Jon and Daisy have 14 points. 715 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,800 Wow. APPLAUSE 716 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:25,600 Wow. APPLAUSE 717 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:26,960 And here is your teaser. 718 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,000 The words are I RUB SNOW. 719 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:29,280 The words are I RUB SNOW. 720 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,600 And the clue is, the thicker the better. 721 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,600 That's I RUB SNOW - the thicker the better. 722 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,640 See you after the break. CHEERING 723 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:35,480 See you after the break. CHEERING 724 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 725 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,520 Welcome back. The answer to the teaser. 726 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:53,920 The words were I RUB SNOW. 727 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,800 The clue was, the thicker the better. 728 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,840 It was, of course, UNIBROWS. 729 00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:58,240 It was, of course, UNIBROWS. 730 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,280 So Jon and Daisy are in the lead. 731 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:00,880 So Jon and Daisy are in the lead. 732 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,320 They've been playing in teams so far,, 733 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:04,360 but this game is just for Rob and Daisy. 734 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,080 but this game is just for Rob and Daisy. 735 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:06,840 So, Daisy, your turn to choose. 736 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,880 Three vowels, please. Three vowels? OK. Three. 737 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:09,200 Three vowels, please. Three vowels? OK. Three. 738 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,080 JUDI:I think this is the moment where we can get our points. 739 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:12,160 You're not playing. 740 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,280 DAISY:And another one. 741 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,320 E, U, E and O. 742 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:16,240 E, U, E and O. 743 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,280 And the rest - the other ones. 744 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:18,520 And the rest - the other ones. 745 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:20,160 Consonants. Whatever they are! 746 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,240 We've got S... 747 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,200 Wow. Thanks for taking such an interest in the show. 748 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,240 ..G, N, 749 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:25,480 ..G, N, 750 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,520 another S, 751 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:28,040 another S, 752 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,080 another G. Oh, wow. 753 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:30,600 another G. Oh, wow. 754 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,640 OK, and your time starts now. 755 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:33,480 OK, and your time starts now. 756 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,520 # Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring-tingle-tingling too 757 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,560 # Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring-tingle-tingling too 758 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:38,840 # Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring-tingle-tingling too 759 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,880 # Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you 760 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,920 # Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you 761 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:43,760 # Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you 762 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,800 # Outside, the snow is falling and friends are calling, "Yoohoo!" 763 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,840 # Outside, the snow is falling and friends are calling, "Yoohoo!" 764 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,080 # Outside, the snow is falling and friends are calling, "Yoohoo!" 765 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:51,120 # Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you 766 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,160 # Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you 767 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:53,480 # Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you 768 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,520 # Ring-a-ling-a-ling, a-ding-dong-ding... # 769 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:56,040 # Ring-a-ling-a-ling, a-ding-dong-ding... # 770 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,000 That's... 771 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,040 # Ring-a-ling-a-ling, a-ding-dong-ding... # 772 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,120 # Ring-a-ling-a-ling, a-ding-dong-ding... # 773 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,040 CHEERING 774 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:07,280 CHEERING 775 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:09,720 Nice. 776 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,160 Oh, this is...this is a sweet ride. 777 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,120 Oh, this is...this is a sweet ride. 778 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:17,760 Look, I've got presents. 779 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,080 Who's that for, me or Rob? That's for you. 780 00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:22,480 Who's that for, me or Rob? That's for you. 781 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,520 Can I open it now? Yeah. I picked out special for you. 782 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:24,800 Can I open it now? Yeah. I picked out special for you. 783 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:25,880 Hope you like it. 784 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:27,680 Oh, my God. That's all I need. 785 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,560 Oh, wow. 786 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,680 I got you that. 787 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,720 Oh, was that the first face-lift? This one... You've got... 788 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,400 Oh, was that the first face-lift? This one... You've got... 789 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,120 THUD 790 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:37,680 Oh, shit. 791 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,120 Hang on. 792 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:40,680 CLATTERING Oh! Jesus. 793 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,400 Daisy, I got you that. I thought you'd... 794 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:45,640 Ooh, what's this? 795 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,680 Oh! Oh, my gosh! 796 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:48,680 Oh! Oh, my gosh! 797 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,600 Oh, yes! 798 00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:54,120 Oh, let's have a look. They're not, like... 799 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,160 It's not, like, posed or cheesy. It's just... 800 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:57,400 It's not, like, posed or cheesy. It's just... 801 00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,400 I could talk you through them. They're just candid shots. 802 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,440 Oh, January! Yes! 803 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:01,720 Oh, January! Yes! 804 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,640 I mean, Jimmy, why didn't I get one of those? 805 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,680 Cos I fancy Jimmy. I really fancy him. 806 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,080 Cos I fancy Jimmy. I really fancy him. 807 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:09,120 Yeah, I can't talk when he's there. 808 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:09,480 Yeah, I can't talk when he's there. 809 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,000 ROB:What is it you like about him? 810 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,560 I just think he's really fit. 811 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:15,280 Gosh. 812 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,080 Wow. Which one of his faces do you like most? 813 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:19,400 Wow. Which one of his faces do you like most? 814 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,000 All of them! 815 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:24,040 What's your biggest fantasy you have about Jimmy? 816 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,000 What's your biggest fantasy you have about Jimmy? 817 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,480 What's your biggest fantasy? 818 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,520 He says, "Don't worry about the maths bit," 819 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:29,800 He says, "Don't worry about the maths bit," 820 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,720 and we just get it on under the desk. 821 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,600 ROB:The thing is, he's going to use that when he's about 90, 822 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:38,920 ROB:The thing is, he's going to use that when he's about 90, 823 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,960 still doing TV. 824 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:41,360 still doing TV. 825 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,400 Driving himself with the studio like Elton Jon in a tracksuit. 826 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:44,720 Driving himself with the studio like Elton Jon in a tracksuit. 827 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:48,960 Oh. All right? 828 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:52,600 APPLAUSE 829 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:53,840 Do you wanna...? 830 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,640 Do you wanna come for a ride? I would love that. 831 00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:57,960 Do you wanna come for a ride? I would love that. 832 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,000 Yeah. Why not? Oh, are you getting in with him? 833 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:00,600 Yeah. Why not? Oh, are you getting in with him? 834 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,200 Can you do the maths bit? Yeah. 835 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,320 APPLAUSE 836 00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:08,520 APPLAUSE 837 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,040 Yeah. 838 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:19,840 JUDI:Daisy... 839 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,560 CLATTERING DAISY:Oh, careful! 840 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,560 ALL:Oh! 841 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:24,560 Oh! 842 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:27,200 There you go. Oh, fuck. 843 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,080 He's en route to a Travelodge. 844 00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:30,320 Daisy! 845 00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:32,320 Oh, Daisy, how many?What? 846 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:36,440 Oh! Right! Yes. Letters. 847 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:37,040 Oh! Right! Yes. Letters. 848 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:38,280 I... Do you remember the countdown? 849 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,000 I got SNOGS. 850 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,120 You got SNOGS? 851 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:44,240 Did you? 852 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,520 APPLAUSE 853 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,720 I'm a little bit frightened. 854 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,520 You got SNOGS. OK. Rob? 855 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,560 I got five - GUESS. 856 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:05,040 I got five - GUESS. 857 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,080 GUESS. Pretty good. APPLAUSE 858 00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:07,320 GUESS. Pretty good. APPLAUSE 859 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:10,560 I'm going to have to drop you home. 860 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:11,800 DAISY LAUGHS 861 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,840 SLEIGH WHIRS NOISILY Oh, I love this. 862 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:14,120 SLEIGH WHIRS NOISILY Oh, I love this. 863 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,360 Don't sound great, does it? 864 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,440 Do you know, I lost my virginity in a Clio. 865 00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:19,840 Do you know, I lost my virginity in a Clio. 866 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:21,520 THUD Ooh! 867 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:29,440 5 points to both teams. 868 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:30,800 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 869 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,040 Nice little Christmas drive. 870 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,080 Was, wasn't it? Good. 871 00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:39,320 Was, wasn't it? Good. 872 00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:40,760 That's fine. 873 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,200 The Bipolar Express. 874 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:45,400 The Bipolar Express. 875 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:52,440 Katie, Susie? 876 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:53,920 NEGUSES. What? 877 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,960 NEGUSES. NEGUSES? 878 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:56,240 NEGUSES. NEGUSES? 879 00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:58,280 Yes. They are hot toddies. hot drinks. 880 00:26:58,320 --> 00:26:58,640 Yes. They are hot toddies. hot drinks. 881 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:00,680 Port, sugar, lemon and spice. Perfect for Christmas. 882 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:01,200 Port, sugar, lemon and spice. Perfect for Christmas. 883 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,240 Named after Colonel Francis Negus, who created it. 884 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:04,160 Named after Colonel Francis Negus, who created it. 885 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,200 So, at the end of that, Rob and Judi have 12 points. 886 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:06,600 So, at the end of that, Rob and Judi have 12 points. 887 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:08,120 Jon and Daisy have 19. 888 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:14,760 Well, it says here 889 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,800 now it's time for Jon and Judi to go head-to-head in the maths. 890 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:18,200 now it's time for Jon and Judi to go head-to-head in the maths. 891 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,240 But is there any point to that? Should we just...? 892 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:20,640 But is there any point to that? Should we just...? 893 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,800 Judi, your turn to pick the numbers. 894 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,840 Three small and three big numbers. Three and three. 895 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,320 Three small and three big numbers. Three and three. 896 00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:29,240 We've got...we've got balance. Here we go. We've got... 897 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,080 10, 5, 898 00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:33,120 3, 75, 899 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,160 100 and 50. 900 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:35,400 100 and 50. 901 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:36,360 And the target? 902 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,000 957. JON:Whoo! 903 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:39,200 Your time starts now. 904 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,480 {\an8}The click-clocking's turning me off. 905 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,200 {\an8}Help me, what's-your-name. 906 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:53,400 {\an8}Help me, what's-your-name. 907 00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:00,280 {\an8}Well, you can... Wait, wait. 908 00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:12,120 OK, so the target was 957. 909 00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:12,640 OK, so the target was 957. 910 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:13,720 Jon, did you get it? 911 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:15,760 I think I got 953. 912 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:16,480 I think I got 953. 913 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:17,640 Judi, did you get it? 914 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:18,960 Yeah. 915 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:20,920 Rachel, take it easy. Judi's got this.OK. 916 00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:22,480 ROB:Why doesn't Judi do it on the board? 917 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,400 Go on. There's no point Rachel writing it out again. 918 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:27,800 Go on. There's no point Rachel writing it out again. 919 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,000 CHEERING 920 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:37,440 Can I just make sure that Judi can't see Rachel's clipboard? 921 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:37,960 Can I just make sure that Judi can't see Rachel's clipboard? 922 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,000 Just because I think they probably both got it. It wouldn't help. 923 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:40,320 Just because I think they probably both got it. It wouldn't help. 924 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,360 ROB:Oh, you're a petty, petty man. Just, you know... 925 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:42,800 ROB:Oh, you're a petty, petty man. Just, you know... 926 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,840 WHINING:"Please can you make sure that Judi doesn't see the answers, 927 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:46,280 WHINING:"Please can you make sure that Judi doesn't see the answers, 928 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,320 "cos I would like another 7 points! Cos they are the rules!" 929 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,360 "cos I would like another 7 points! Cos they are the rules!" 930 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:50,720 "cos I would like another 7 points! Cos they are the rules!" 931 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,000 Fuck off! 932 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,040 NOW it feels like Christmas! 933 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:57,760 I did... Go on, Judi. 934 00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,800 10 x 75 935 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:01,400 10 x 75 936 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:02,560 Yeah. Is...? 937 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,600 = 750 938 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:05,040 = 750 939 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:07,080 5... An 8. ..+ 3 940 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,560 5... An 8. ..+ 3 941 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:09,840 Right? ROB CACKLES 942 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,880 Hold on. And I added 100. 943 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:12,640 Hold on. And I added 100. 944 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:13,840 That makes what? 945 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,800 870. 946 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,840 No, 850. 947 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:18,840 Hold on. 948 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:21,760 No. 2 x 50... 949 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:26,880 That made 975. 950 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:27,680 That made 975. 951 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,720 And then I took the 8 away. And then I took away the 10. 952 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:31,000 And then I took the 8 away. And then I took away the 10. 953 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,840 957. APPLAUSE 954 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:36,080 957. APPLAUSE 955 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,000 Numbers. There's numbers. I used the numbers. 956 00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:41,320 Numbers. There's numbers. I used the numbers. 957 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,200 Well, there isn't a 2 up there. Huh? 958 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,240 Where was there a 2? Who said anything about a 2? 959 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:45,480 Where was there a 2? Who said anything about a 2? 960 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:47,840 50 x 2 961 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:49,080 I don't know where... 962 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,120 You need to sort your maths out, babes. 963 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:52,320 You need to sort your maths out, babes. 964 00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:53,760 Jon, what did you get again? 965 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:55,120 953. 966 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:56,640 Go on. How'd you do it? For 7 points. 967 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,680 100 - 5 968 00:29:58,720 --> 00:29:58,920 100 - 5 969 00:29:58,960 --> 00:29:59,760 = 95 970 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:00,840 x 10 971 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:01,880 = 950 972 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,000 + 3 973 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,040 = 953. Seven points. Oh! APPLAUSE 974 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:05,560 = 953. Seven points. Oh! APPLAUSE 975 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:06,600 Sorry! 976 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,000 I know how I got 920... Wait. Hold on. No. 977 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:11,360 I know how I got 920... Wait. Hold on. No. 978 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,400 10 x... No.Can I just...? No. 979 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:14,520 10 x... No.Can I just...? No. 980 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,360 Happy New Year! Yeah. 981 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,400 APPLAUSE 982 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:18,600 APPLAUSE 983 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,280 Rachel, could it be done? If you say... 984 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:24,640 Rachel, could it be done? If you say... 985 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,680 75 + 5 = 80 Yeah. 986 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:27,160 75 + 5 = 80 Yeah. 987 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,200 100 ÷ 50 = 2 Exactly. 988 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:30,040 100 ÷ 50 = 2 Exactly. 989 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,000 + 10 = 12 990 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,040 12 x 80 = 960 991 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:34,280 12 x 80 = 960 992 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:35,360 - 3 993 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,040 There you go. I see it. 994 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:44,520 OK. Time now to go across to Dictionary Corner. 995 00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:44,800 OK. Time now to go across to Dictionary Corner. 996 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,720 Katie, what have you got for us? 997 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:48,760 Well, Jimmy, I'm a female comedian, so men are terrified of me. 998 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:50,280 Well, Jimmy, I'm a female comedian, so men are terrified of me. 999 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,320 I don't know why. Um, you know, all I'm thinking 1000 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:52,800 I don't know why. Um, you know, all I'm thinking 1001 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,840 when I meet a shy, introverted man in his mid-30s is, 1002 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:55,960 when I meet a shy, introverted man in his mid-30s is, 1003 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,000 "Speak up, you little simp! 1004 00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:58,520 "Speak up, you little simp! 1005 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,560 "What do you mean you don't know how to drive?!" 1006 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:01,200 "What do you mean you don't know how to drive?!" 1007 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:02,880 Do you drive? 1008 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:03,920 I'm driven. 1009 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:07,520 Ooh! 1010 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,000 So I'm actually... I'm taking a short break from dating 1011 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:13,960 So I'm actually... I'm taking a short break from dating 1012 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,000 at the moment to focus on my career as a godmother. 1013 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:16,320 at the moment to focus on my career as a godmother. 1014 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,360 I love being a godmother because you don't just spread your legs 1015 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:18,640 I love being a godmother because you don't just spread your legs 1016 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,040 and become a godmother, do you? 1017 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:22,520 You're chosen. 1018 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,120 Right, I think I'm going to sing now. 1019 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:28,160 Um... 1020 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:29,680 HEAVY PIANO AND CACKLING 1021 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,720 THUNDER RUMBLES 1022 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:31,960 THUNDER RUMBLES 1023 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,960 Now, Countdown. 1024 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,000 Why would anybody want to become a godmother? 1025 00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:36,320 Why would anybody want to become a godmother? 1026 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,360 Well, I'll tell you, darlings. It's the power. It's the prestige. 1027 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:39,400 Well, I'll tell you, darlings. It's the power. It's the prestige. 1028 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,440 # Come with me to the bottom of the garden 1029 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:42,320 # Come with me to the bottom of the garden 1030 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,360 # Let's go see the toads 1031 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:44,880 # Let's go see the toads 1032 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:46,920 # Each of them used to be my boyfriend 1033 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,000 # Each of them used to be my boyfriend 1034 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,040 SWEETLY:# What is one of those? 1035 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:50,320 SWEETLY:# What is one of those? 1036 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,360 # A suitor, a sweetheart, a fella or a fellow 1037 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:53,440 # A suitor, a sweetheart, a fella or a fellow 1038 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,480 # Just make sure they're not a DJ of the techno 1039 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:56,280 # Just make sure they're not a DJ of the techno 1040 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:57,320 SWEETLY:# What's a DJ? 1041 00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:58,760 # A boy who cannot love 1042 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:00,800 # Now, may I introduce you to Geordie? 1043 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:01,320 # Now, may I introduce you to Geordie? 1044 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,360 # This toad is Simon His pits were always smelly 1045 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:04,080 # This toad is Simon His pits were always smelly 1046 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,120 # Little Jason here liked to cum upon my belly 1047 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:06,960 # Little Jason here liked to cum upon my belly 1048 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,000 # Racist, sexist, couldn't drive Poor Charlie had a chode 1049 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:09,440 # Racist, sexist, couldn't drive Poor Charlie had a chode 1050 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,480 # And this one's just a regular toad 1051 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:11,960 # And this one's just a regular toad 1052 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,000 # I'm your godmother Now listen to my tales 1053 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:14,840 # I'm your godmother Now listen to my tales 1054 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,880 # Heed my wary warnings My magic never fails 1055 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:17,760 # Heed my wary warnings My magic never fails 1056 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:19,800 # Godmummy Katie Biddle-diddle-dum 1057 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:20,080 # Godmummy Katie Biddle-diddle-dum 1058 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,120 # I am brilliant, amazing woman! # 1059 00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:23,920 # I am brilliant, amazing woman! # 1060 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:25,960 SWEETLY:Then why aren't you married, Auntie Katie? 1061 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:26,680 SWEETLY:Then why aren't you married, Auntie Katie? 1062 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,560 DISCORDANT PIANO STING 1063 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,480 DISCORDANT PIANO STING 1064 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1065 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:39,800 Whoo! 1066 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,840 Oh, thank you. So I did sing that to my godson, Jasper, who's five. 1067 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,880 Oh, thank you. So I did sing that to my godson, Jasper, who's five. 1068 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:44,200 Oh, thank you. So I did sing that to my godson, Jasper, who's five. 1069 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,880 Um, and he looked up at me and he said, 1070 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,920 "Katie, do you have friends?" 1071 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:48,120 "Katie, do you have friends?" 1072 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,160 I said, "Yeah, Jasper, I've got loads of friends 1073 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:51,440 I said, "Yeah, Jasper, I've got loads of friends 1074 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,040 "because I don't have any children." 1075 00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,200 APPLAUSE 1076 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,240 Katie Norris, everyone.Whoo! 1077 00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:01,120 Katie Norris, everyone.Whoo! 1078 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,160 OK, so, er... Rob and Judi have 12 points. 1079 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:03,840 OK, so, er... Rob and Judi have 12 points. 1080 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:05,880 Jon and Daisy have 26. 1081 00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:06,600 Jon and Daisy have 26. 1082 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:07,800 Well done. 1083 00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:10,720 And here is your teaser. 1084 00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:12,760 The words are ELFS TITS. 1085 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:13,040 The words are ELFS TITS. 1086 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:15,080 The clue is, which way are they leaning? 1087 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:15,400 The clue is, which way are they leaning? 1088 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,440 That's ELFS TITS - which way are they leaning? 1089 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:17,760 That's ELFS TITS - which way are they leaning? 1090 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,800 See you after the break. CHEERING 1091 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:20,280 See you after the break. CHEERING 1092 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,200 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1093 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:29,520 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1094 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,200 Welcome back. The answer to the teaser. 1095 00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:37,720 The words were ELFS TITS. 1096 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,600 The clue was, which way are they leaning? 1097 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,480 It was, of course, LEFTISTS. 1098 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,320 OK, before we go on, 1099 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,360 he's not on the show tonight, but he's turned up anyway. 1100 00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:45,840 he's not on the show tonight, but he's turned up anyway. 1101 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:47,760 It's Joe Wilkinson. CHEERING 1102 00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:49,800 MUSIC: Jingle Bells 1103 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:51,160 MUSIC: Jingle Bells 1104 00:34:09,240 --> 00:34:10,800 Er, right, Jimmy. Um.. 1105 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:14,200 Just brought some eggnog. 1106 00:34:14,240 --> 00:34:15,840 Cos I love eggnog. So... 1107 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,240 Well, Merry Christmas. 1108 00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:19,480 AUDIENCE GASPS 1109 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:20,480 Ooh, what's...? 1110 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,480 Er, Joe... Er... 1111 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:25,120 Er, Joe... Er... 1112 00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,160 Oh. Oh! 1113 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,200 Joe. Joe...Although... 1114 00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:29,520 Joe. Joe...Although... 1115 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,560 Although it can make my head swell up. 1116 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:31,920 Although it can make my head swell up. 1117 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,200 Basically, I'll be honest, 1118 00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:37,640 I'm eggnog intolerant. 1119 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,560 But it's Christmas, so you can't not have eggnog, can you? 1120 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:42,520 But it's Christmas, so you can't not have eggnog, can you? 1121 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:46,360 You are drinking quite a lot of eggnog there. 1122 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:48,400 Fabio, do you mind bringing on a bit more eggnog? I'm out of eggnog. 1123 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:49,280 Fabio, do you mind bringing on a bit more eggnog? I'm out of eggnog. 1124 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,320 MUSIC:Jingle Bells 1125 00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:52,280 MUSIC:Jingle Bells 1126 00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:03,880 Thank you, mate. 1127 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:12,200 Joe, what's going on? 1128 00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:14,240 Oh. Are you wondering why, um, Fabio brings his eggnog 1129 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,160 Oh. Are you wondering why, um, Fabio brings his eggnog 1130 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,200 in his motorcycle sidecar? 1131 00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:18,600 in his motorcycle sidecar? 1132 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:19,640 Yeah. 1133 00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:21,240 Cos he's a fucking idiot. 1134 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,800 ROB AND AUDIENCE:Aww. 1135 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:29,800 What's-what's happening? 1136 00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:30,960 Oh, Jon's upset... 1137 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,000 Oh, right. Yeah. I know Jon's upset him. 1138 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:33,280 Oh, right. Yeah. I know Jon's upset him. 1139 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:34,640 I know what's going on here. 1140 00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:36,680 He can sense when someone thinks they can drink more eggnog than me. 1141 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:38,280 He can sense when someone thinks they can drink more eggnog than me. 1142 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:43,680 It's his gift. Well... 1143 00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:48,040 ..Jon, you reckon you can drink more eggnog than me? 1144 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:48,440 ..Jon, you reckon you can drink more eggnog than me? 1145 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,480 Well, all right, let's put your money where your mouth is. 1146 00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:50,800 Well, all right, let's put your money where your mouth is. 1147 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:52,840 Let's play a little game I like to call 1148 00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:53,120 Let's play a little game I like to call 1149 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:54,680 "Can You Drink More Eggnog Than Me?" 1150 00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:55,760 JINGLE PLAYS 1151 00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,800 RECORDING:Can You Drink More Eggnog Than Me? 1152 00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:58,040 RECORDING:Can You Drink More Eggnog Than Me? 1153 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,680 CHEERING 1154 00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:03,600 CHEERING 1155 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,640 It's a...it's a simple game, Jon. 1156 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:08,920 It's a...it's a simple game, Jon. 1157 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:10,960 Let's just see if you can drink more eggnog than me. 1158 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:11,200 Let's just see if you can drink more eggnog than me. 1159 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:14,360 When you're ready, Jimmy. 1160 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,400 Gentlemen, your time starts...now. 1161 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:17,040 Gentlemen, your time starts...now. 1162 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:18,600 FESTIVE MUSIC 1163 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:20,560 SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT 1164 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,600 I can feel a boil swelling up on the back of my head. 1165 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:23,320 I can feel a boil swelling up on the back of my head. 1166 00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:25,360 Hold on, I can...I can feel a boil swelling up on the back of my head. 1167 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:26,920 Hold on, I can...I can feel a boil swelling up on the back of my head. 1168 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:28,680 That is not good. 1169 00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:30,720 Come on, Jon.Oh, it's gritty. It's gritty. It's definitely... 1170 00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:31,040 Come on, Jon.Oh, it's gritty. It's gritty. It's definitely... 1171 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:32,360 Jon, you haven't even done the first one. 1172 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,360 That boil's there... Come on, Jon! Come on, Jon. 1173 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:35,400 LOUD POP 1174 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:37,240 AUDIENCE GROANS 1175 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:40,000 Ah. 1176 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:41,600 Jon! Come on!Ah. 1177 00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,080 Don't let it slow you down, Jon. 1178 00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:44,080 Yeah, I think... 1179 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:46,960 Ah, there's pus in the... 1180 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,000 This is a very expensive suit! 1181 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:49,400 This is a very expensive suit! 1182 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:50,800 There's pus in the eggnog. 1183 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,680 Urgh! There's pus in the eggnog. 1184 00:36:52,720 --> 00:36:54,720 There's some pus in the eggnog. There's some pus in the eggnog. 1185 00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,360 There's some pus in the eggnog. There's some pus in the eggnog. 1186 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,400 There is... I'm going to warn you - there's pus in the eggnog. 1187 00:36:58,440 --> 00:36:59,320 There is... I'm going to warn you - there's pus in the eggnog. 1188 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,360 That's pus in my hair! 1189 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:01,600 That's pus in my hair! 1190 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,000 Do you know what? 1191 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:05,040 To be fair to Jon, there is some pus in the eggnog. 1192 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:06,040 To be fair to Jon, there is some pus in the eggnog. 1193 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,000 Do you know what? Let's call it a draw. 1194 00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:11,840 There's pus in the eggnog. Well played. 1195 00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:13,480 Let's play Countdown! 1196 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,120 CHEERING 1197 00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:22,920 OK, on with the game. 1198 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,960 We were playing Countdown before whatever the fuck that was. 1199 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:25,920 We were playing Countdown before whatever the fuck that was. 1200 00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:28,920 Rob and Judi, your turn to choose. 1201 00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:30,400 Right, here we go. 1202 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,200 I'll get them.Are you going to help? All right. Yeah. 1203 00:37:32,240 --> 00:37:34,080 I'll have a little sit down. JUDI:You pick, darling. 1204 00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:35,320 Are you doing it, Joe? Yeah. 1205 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,360 Can I get a two vowels, please? 1206 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:37,600 Can I get a two vowels, please? 1207 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,640 Absolutely.Thank you, Jesus. 1208 00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:39,920 Absolutely.Thank you, Jesus. 1209 00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,960 I and an E all right? Yes, please. Yeah. 1210 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:42,240 I and an E all right? Yes, please. Yeah. 1211 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:43,480 Three consonants. 1212 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:45,520 Three consonants seems too many. 1213 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:45,760 Three consonants seems too many. 1214 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:46,840 P, 1215 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:48,240 M, 1216 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:49,280 W... 1217 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:50,560 Or an H. P-H. 1218 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,600 What's...? One of them? Three of them?Yeah. 1219 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:53,120 What's...? One of them? Three of them?Yeah. 1220 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:54,400 Yeah, three of them, please. Yeah. 1221 00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,440 They could be Ms or Ws. It's up to you. 1222 00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:56,800 They could be Ms or Ws. It's up to you. 1223 00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:58,840 Er, I like it when Rachel does it. That could... 1224 00:37:58,880 --> 00:37:59,720 Er, I like it when Rachel does it. That could... 1225 00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:02,480 That could be one of those. Where's the P? 1226 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,200 What?You had a P earlier. JON:Where's the P gone? 1227 00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:06,240 Where's the P? That's absolutely none of your fucking business. 1228 00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:07,400 Where's the P? That's absolutely none of your fucking business. 1229 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,800 Get down to your shit and I'll do mine. 1230 00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:11,040 Get down to your shit and I'll do mine. 1231 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:13,720 Can I just confirm what we've got there? 1232 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,480 Can you read those letters to me? 1233 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,520 E, umlaut, ouch, M, W. 1234 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:18,200 E, umlaut, ouch, M, W. 1235 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:20,480 LAUGHING:"Umlaut"? 1236 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:22,520 Right, um...a vowel, please. 1237 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:22,800 Right, um...a vowel, please. 1238 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:24,800 A vowel. Are we not having the P, then? 1239 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:26,120 It's gone. He's gone rogue. 1240 00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:27,480 Another I? OK. 1241 00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:30,160 What's that one? 1242 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:31,360 Another bloody umlaut. 1243 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:34,680 OK. Your time starts now. 1244 00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,280 Don't know whether to spell it or subtract it. 1245 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:39,520 Don't know whether to spell it or subtract it. 1246 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,040 Rob, how many? 1247 00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:08,320 Four. Four? 1248 00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:09,400 Judi, how many? 1249 00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,440 Four. HOME is my four. 1250 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:11,680 Four. HOME is my four. 1251 00:39:11,720 --> 00:39:13,000 Jon, how many? 1252 00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:14,640 Five. Ooh. 1253 00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:16,200 OK. Daisy? 1254 00:39:16,240 --> 00:39:18,240 Five, if that's definitely a W. 1255 00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:19,520 Five, if that's definitely a W. 1256 00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:21,560 OK, Rob.I've got C-O-M-E, COME. As in "..all ye faithful". 1257 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,600 OK, Rob.I've got C-O-M-E, COME. As in "..all ye faithful". 1258 00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:23,880 OK, Rob.I've got C-O-M-E, COME. As in "..all ye faithful". 1259 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:24,960 Right. Jon, your five? 1260 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,360 CHIME 1261 00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:28,400 CHIME? OTHERS:Ooh! 1262 00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:28,680 CHIME? OTHERS:Ooh! 1263 00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:29,520 Oh, and Christmassy. 1264 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:31,160 Daisy, your five? 1265 00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:32,760 I got WHOLE. 1266 00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:34,720 You got what? 1267 00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:36,000 WHOLE 1268 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,560 Can you stop trying to seduce me, please? 1269 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:40,680 WHOLE with a W. 1270 00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:41,880 With an L? 1271 00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:43,920 How did you get...? Oh, well, what's that, then? 1272 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:44,200 How did you get...? Oh, well, what's that, then? 1273 00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:46,240 Oh, gosh, now I've got nothing. 1274 00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:47,520 Oh, gosh, now I've got nothing. 1275 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:49,480 I'm afraid at Christmas there's "no L". 1276 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,320 ALL GROAN 1277 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:52,560 Jon Richardson. 1278 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:58,760 5 points to Jon and Daisy. 1279 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,560 APPLAUSE 1280 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:01,640 Tough round. 1281 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:03,680 Katie, Susie, could they have done any better? 1282 00:40:03,720 --> 00:40:04,000 Katie, Susie, could they have done any better? 1283 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:06,040 Just fives. Yeah. Yeah. Could have had HOMIE. 1284 00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:06,440 Just fives. Yeah. Yeah. Could have had HOMIE. 1285 00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:08,480 OK. Jon and Daisy are in the lead with 31 points.Yes! 1286 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:09,960 OK. Jon and Daisy are in the lead with 31 points.Yes! 1287 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,000 APPLAUSE 1288 00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:12,560 APPLAUSE 1289 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:15,920 And here is your final teaser. 1290 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,960 The words are ELF SEX AD. 1291 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:18,240 The words are ELF SEX AD. 1292 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,120 And the clue is, it's very good for you. 1293 00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:22,160 That's ELF SEX AD - it's very good for you. 1294 00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:22,640 That's ELF SEX AD - it's very good for you. 1295 00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:24,680 See you after the break. CHEERING 1296 00:40:24,720 --> 00:40:25,400 See you after the break. CHEERING 1297 00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:33,680 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1298 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:41,480 Welcome back. The answer to the teaser. 1299 00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,320 The words were ELF SEX AD. 1300 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:44,960 The clue was, it's very good for you. 1301 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,040 It was, of course, FLAXSEED. 1302 00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:49,080 OK, before we go on, as it's Christmas, let's play a quick game. 1303 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:50,520 OK, before we go on, as it's Christmas, let's play a quick game. 1304 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,560 I'll read out the first line of some classic Christmas cracker jokes. 1305 00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:53,520 I'll read out the first line of some classic Christmas cracker jokes. 1306 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:55,000 All you have to do is buzz in 1307 00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:56,600 when you think you know the punch line. 1308 00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:58,640 Could not be simpler. 5 bonus points up on offer. 1309 00:40:58,680 --> 00:40:58,960 Could not be simpler. 5 bonus points up on offer. 1310 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,000 So let's play Pull My Cracker. 1311 00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:01,240 So let's play Pull My Cracker. 1312 00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,280 FESTIVE JINGLE 1313 00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:04,000 FESTIVE JINGLE 1314 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:06,440 CRACKER SNAPS 1315 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,280 Annoyingly, it does that when I say "Pull My Cracker". 1316 00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:10,320 FESTIVE JINGLE 1317 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:10,520 FESTIVE JINGLE 1318 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:13,160 CRACKER SNAPS 1319 00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:14,720 Probably best if no-one says it. 1320 00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:16,160 Pull My... 1321 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:17,240 AUDIENCE MEMBER:..Cracker! 1322 00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:18,880 FESTIVE JINGLE 1323 00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:22,560 CRACKER SNAPS 1324 00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:25,360 Out! 1325 00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:28,680 OK. What comes at the end of Christmas Day? 1326 00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:29,520 OK. What comes at the end of Christmas Day? 1327 00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,320 Father Christmas. 1328 00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:32,840 And, boy, he's earned it. 1329 00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:34,480 BUZZER 1330 00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:35,640 Boxing Day. 1331 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,000 Any other guesses? 1332 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:39,320 The letter Y. 1333 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:40,840 That's the right boring answer. 1334 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:42,720 Yeah. OTHERS:Oh! 1335 00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:43,760 WHOOPING 1336 00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:48,520 Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital? 1337 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:49,160 Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital? 1338 00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:50,840 BUZZER 1339 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:52,880 Because he doesn't believe in Western medicine. 1340 00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:53,400 Because he doesn't believe in Western medicine. 1341 00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:58,440 That is the right... Yeah, that's the right answer. 1342 00:41:58,480 --> 00:41:59,560 Is it? Yeah. 1343 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:00,800 BUZZER 1344 00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:02,600 Cos he's in good elf! 1345 00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:04,600 Yeah, I'll give you that. AUDIENCE GROANS 1346 00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:06,640 Oh, nice. APPLAUSE 1347 00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:07,920 Oh, nice. APPLAUSE 1348 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,560 Christmas. 1349 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,120 What is white and minty? 1350 00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:12,200 Oh... BELL 1351 00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:14,000 My ass! Jimmy Carr! 1352 00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,280 Sorry, Judi. Judi? 1353 00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:22,960 I was just going to say Jimmy. 1354 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,000 What, white and minty?Yeah. 1355 00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:25,280 What, white and minty?Yeah. 1356 00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,320 Yeah, that's exactly how I imagine him tasting. 1357 00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,360 Yeah, that's exactly how I imagine him tasting. 1358 00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:29,600 Yeah, that's exactly how I imagine him tasting. 1359 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,280 How's your son? 1360 00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,040 JUDI GUFFAWS 1361 00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:38,520 Oh, Judi's gone. 1362 00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,040 HIGH-PITCHED RAMBLING 1363 00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:45,240 HIGH-PITCHED RAMBLING 1364 00:42:46,720 --> 00:42:48,040 A Polo bear? 1365 00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:49,880 A Polo bear is the right answer. Oh... 1366 00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:51,480 KLAXON BLARES 1367 00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,520 OK. Jon got the most right, so Jon gets the points. 1368 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:54,080 OK. Jon got the most right, so Jon gets the points. 1369 00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:56,120 Oh, for... Oh, for Pete's sake. Oh, my God. 1370 00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:56,480 Oh, for... Oh, for Pete's sake. Oh, my God. 1371 00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,520 APPLAUSE 1372 00:42:58,560 --> 00:42:59,280 APPLAUSE 1373 00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,320 OK, time for our final letters game. 1374 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:01,560 OK, time for our final letters game. 1375 00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:03,320 Jon, Daisy, your turn to choose. 1376 00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,360 Er, you're welcome to choose, but if you're just going to do 1377 00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:05,800 Er, you're welcome to choose, but if you're just going to do 1378 00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:07,840 that "three vowels, five consonants" shit, I might do it myself. 1379 00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:08,120 that "three vowels, five consonants" shit, I might do it myself. 1380 00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:09,560 You do it yourself. Yep. 1381 00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:11,600 Can we have four vowels and five consonants, please? 1382 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:13,160 Can we have four vowels and five consonants, please? 1383 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,080 We've got A, O, E, U, 1384 00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:17,120 D, T, B, L, 1385 00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:17,480 D, T, B, L, 1386 00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,520 and D. 1387 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:19,760 and D. 1388 00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:21,400 And...and a bonus T. 1389 00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:25,840 OK. And your time starts... 1390 00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:26,720 OK. And your time starts... 1391 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:27,920 {\an8}..now. 1392 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:29,960 {\an8}# Oh, the weather outside is frightful 1393 00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,040 {\an8}# Oh, the weather outside is frightful 1394 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,080 {\an8}# But the fire is so delightful 1395 00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:34,520 {\an8}# But the fire is so delightful 1396 00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:36,560 {\an8}# And since we've no place to go... # 1397 00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:37,280 {\an8}# And since we've no place to go... # 1398 00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:38,320 {\an8}ROB:Oh! "SNOW" PATTERS 1399 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:40,320 {\an8}# Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow... # 1400 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:41,720 {\an8}Aww! 1401 00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,760 {\an8}# Oh, the fire is slowly dying 1402 00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:45,160 {\an8}# Oh, the fire is slowly dying 1403 00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,200 {\an8}# And, my dear, we're still goodbye-ing... # 1404 00:43:47,240 --> 00:43:48,240 {\an8}# And, my dear, we're still goodbye-ing... # 1405 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:49,640 {\an8}Oh! God! 1406 00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:51,680 {\an8}# But as long as you love me so... # There's a lot here! 1407 00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:52,320 {\an8}# But as long as you love me so... # There's a lot here! 1408 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,360 {\an8}# Let it snow, let it snow... # DAISY:Oh, God. 1409 00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:55,520 {\an8}# Let it snow, let it snow... # DAISY:Oh, God. 1410 00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:56,640 {\an8}# Let it snow. # 1411 00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:58,680 {\an8}Feel like I'm in a nightclub in Essex. 1412 00:43:58,720 --> 00:43:59,120 {\an8}Feel like I'm in a nightclub in Essex. 1413 00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,160 {\an8}THEY YELP 1414 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:01,520 {\an8}THEY YELP 1415 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:03,560 {\an8}Fucking hell! WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE 1416 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:04,160 {\an8}Fucking hell! WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE 1417 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,160 Oh, God. 1418 00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:08,400 Oh, God. 1419 00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:09,440 Daisy, how many? 1420 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,480 Four. Four? OK. Jon, how many? 1421 00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:11,880 Four. Four? OK. Jon, how many? 1422 00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:13,640 Er...seven. 1423 00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:14,800 How many, Rob? 1424 00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:16,640 Five. Five. Judi? 1425 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:17,680 Five. 1426 00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:18,760 Your four, Daisy? 1427 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:20,280 LUBE 1428 00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:21,960 JUDI:It's all over my lips, isn't it? 1429 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,320 Rob, your five? 1430 00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:24,560 TUBED 1431 00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:26,600 TUBED 1432 00:44:28,100 --> 00:44:29,400 It's been TUBED. SUSIE:Completely fine. 1433 00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:30,440 - Is that good? - Yes. 1434 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:31,480 - Thank you, actually. - Yes. 1435 00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:32,520 OK, Judi. Your five? 1436 00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:33,640 ADULT 1437 00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:34,720 ADULT? 1438 00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:36,240 Jon, for the seven? 1439 00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:37,880 Er...DOUBLED. 1440 00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:39,160 JOE:Whoa! 1441 00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:41,200 Oh, my goodness! 7 points to Jon.Wow! 1442 00:44:41,240 --> 00:44:42,440 Oh, my goodness! 7 points to Jon.Wow! 1443 00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:44,480 Got to get Jimmy. Got to get Jimmy. 1444 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:44,960 Got to get Jimmy. Got to get Jimmy. 1445 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,000 On the count of three. One, two, three. 1446 00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:47,280 On the count of three. One, two, three. 1447 00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:48,680 Hail Jimmy! 1448 00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,160 CHEERING 1449 00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:53,920 CHEERING 1450 00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:55,560 Um, Katie, could they have done any better? 1451 00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:57,600 Yeah, they could have had BUTTLOAD for eight, or DEADBOLT. 1452 00:44:57,640 --> 00:44:59,400 Yeah, they could have had BUTTLOAD for eight, or DEADBOLT. 1453 00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:00,760 Is that a real word, BUTTLOAD? 1454 00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:02,040 It is now. 1455 00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,320 OK, so Rob and Judi have 12 points, 1456 00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:05,920 OK, so Rob and Judi have 12 points, 1457 00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:07,960 Jon and Daisy have 43. 1458 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:08,920 Jon and Daisy have 43. 1459 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:10,960 CHEERING 1460 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:11,200 CHEERING 1461 00:45:11,240 --> 00:45:12,280 Fantastic! 1462 00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,400 Now, as it's Christmas, you know we always do this on the show, yeah? 1463 00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:16,520 Now, as it's Christmas, you know we always do this on the show, yeah? 1464 00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,560 The Conundrum at Christmas is worth 32 points.Yes! 1465 00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:19,880 The Conundrum at Christmas is worth 32 points.Yes! 1466 00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:21,840 That's always been the tradition on this show. 1467 00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:24,720 So, for 32 points, 1468 00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:26,760 here's today's crucial Christmas Countdown Conundrum. 1469 00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:28,200 here's today's crucial Christmas Countdown Conundrum. 1470 00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:38,560 BELL RINGS 1471 00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:39,800 Oh, I got it wrong. Sorry. 1472 00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:40,880 ROB TUTS 1473 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:43,520 It's right there. 1474 00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,400 R-E... 1475 00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:47,920 R-E... 1476 00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:49,960 Come on, it's right there. You can see it. 1477 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:50,280 Come on, it's right there. You can see it. 1478 00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:51,720 I can see it, but I can't say it. 1479 00:45:53,240 --> 00:45:54,920 They go round and round. 1480 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:56,960 Maybe a cycle. Something-something. 1481 00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:57,200 Maybe a cycle. Something-something. 1482 00:45:57,240 --> 00:45:59,000 Something-cycle. Come on. 1483 00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:01,040 Goes round and round. 1484 00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:01,440 Goes round and round. 1485 00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:03,040 BELL RINGS Go on. 1486 00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,280 CAROUSELS. CAROUSELS. 1487 00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:07,160 CAROUSELS. CAROUSELS. 1488 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:09,160 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1489 00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:13,560 Merry Christmas! 1490 00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:18,720 Yes! 32! 1491 00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:20,760 So the final scores are Jon and Daisy have 43 points - well done - 1492 00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:22,800 So the final scores are Jon and Daisy have 43 points - well done - 1493 00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:23,640 So the final scores are Jon and Daisy have 43 points - well done - 1494 00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:25,680 which means our winners, Rob and Judi, with 44 points. 1495 00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:27,160 which means our winners, Rob and Judi, with 44 points. 1496 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:28,640 It's a Christmas miracle! 1497 00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:30,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1498 00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,360 Congratulations. You're now the proud owner of this, 1499 00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:34,000 Congratulations. You're now the proud owner of this, 1500 00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,040 the Countdown elf upon a mantelpiece. 1501 00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:37,280 the Countdown elf upon a mantelpiece. 1502 00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:38,720 CHEERING 1503 00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:43,920 Thanks to all our panellists, our wonderful studio audience, 1504 00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:44,240 Thanks to all our panellists, our wonderful studio audience, 1505 00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:45,600 and to all of you for watching at home. 1506 00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,640 That's it from us. Goodnight and merry Christmas! 1507 00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:48,520 That's it from us. Goodnight and merry Christmas! 1508 00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:50,560 CHEERING 1509 00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:51,520 CHEERING 1510 00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:11,800 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 1511 00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:12,760 Subtitles by Red Bee Media