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{\an8}"The Herdmans were absolutely
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{\an8}"the worst kids
in the history of the world."
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They lied.
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{\an8}They stole.
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{\an8}Come back here!
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{\an8}They smoked cigars.
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Even the girls.
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{\an8}They hit little kids.
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{\an8}Even if the little kids
were bigger than them.
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00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:56,408
Hey!
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00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,540
{\an8}They took
the Lord's name in vain.
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00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,835
Oh, my God!
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00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,008
They cussed teachers.
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00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,264
{\an8}They even set fire
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00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,768
to Fred Shoemaker's old,
broken-down tool shed.
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00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,478
{\an8}To be fair, the shed was ugly
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00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,523
{\an8}and was about
to fall over anyway.
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00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,191
{\an8}My father said, "Burning it down
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{\an8}"was the only good thing
the Herdmans ever did,
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00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,529
{\an8}"and if they'd known
it was a good thing,
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00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,323
"they wouldn't have
done it at all."
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00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:39,951
They were just
so all-around awful,
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00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:42,370
{\an8}you could hardly believe
they were real.
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00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,455
{\an8}No one knew
why they were that way.
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00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,792
{\an8}It seemed they just came out
of the womb mean.
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00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:49,085
{\an8}And speaking of that womb,
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00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,754
{\an8}us kids have never
seen their parents.
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00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:54,090
Some thought they'd given up
and run away.
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00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:57,552
{\an8}My theory was that they were the
first parents to be kidnapped
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00:02:57,553 --> 00:03:00,180
tied up,
and robbed by their own kids.
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00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,056
Ralph,
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00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,975
Leroy,
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00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:05,518
Claude,
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00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,061
Ollie,
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00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,729
Gladys,
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00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,650
and the toughest one
of them all, Imogene.
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00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:14,527
{\an8}All the same,
except for different sizes
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{\an8}and different
black-and-blue marks
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{\an8}where they had
clonked each other.
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00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,283
{\an8}Okay, everybody,
find your seats.
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00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:22,618
I hope you're ready
for Show and Tell.
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00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,371
{\an8}My first Shower-and-Teller
will be...
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00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,456
Me.
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00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,501
{\an8}Okay. Ollie Herdman is first.
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{\an8}I'm... Wait.
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00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,588
{\an8}It's my cat.
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{\an8}Spike.
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00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,692
{\an8}What's all the fuss about?
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00:03:58,530 --> 00:03:59,530
{\an8}I can't see. I can't see.
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That's me.
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00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,034
Hey!
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00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:04,745
Did I mention they stole?
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00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,334
What do you want?
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00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:12,586
This necklace?
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00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:15,880
Or your neck? Hmm?
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00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,256
I chose my neck.
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00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,590
I usually avoided trouble,
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00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,428
but apparently my favourite
locket got her attention.
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00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:25,515
Imogene was their
unchallenged leader.
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00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:28,518
She struck mortal fear
into anyone in her path,
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00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,645
including adults.
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00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,813
She especially
didn't like Alice.
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00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,565
- Hey, Nits.
- Ow!
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00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:35,983
Probably because Alice
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00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,153
was the exact opposite
of Imogene.
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00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,072
All the way down to her...
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00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:43,366
Your hands
smell like soap again.
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00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:44,659
Hiding your nits?
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00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:47,412
It was head lice, and it was
one time at summer camp.
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00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,415
But Imogene never forgets.
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00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,798
- The Herdmans are just...
- I know.
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00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,759
The Herdmans are absolutely
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00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,929
the worst kids
in the history of the world.
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00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:09,059
What'd they do now, dear?
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00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,311
My mum gave me that locket.
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00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,397
Nothing.
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00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:15,482
The usual.
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00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,316
Set something on fire?
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00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,986
Dump soapy water
down a school hallway?
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00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:23,573
Steal your lunch and then punch
you for not havin' any sweets?
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00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:25,616
Something like that.
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00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,743
Do your homework tonight.
Big day tomorrow.
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00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,954
- Gettin' the Christmas tree.
- Great, Dad.
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00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:33,041
I'm sure the Herdmans
will find some way to ruin it.
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00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,211
That's not very jolly.
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00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:41,550
God, this is a selfish prayer.
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00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,636
I know
I shouldn't pray it, but...
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00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,054
can you send the Herdmans
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00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,724
somewhere far away
until I grow up?
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00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:53,061
Somewhere without many people.
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00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,857
Maybe an island
with no people at all.
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00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,110
And violent,
dangerous creatures.
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00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:04,615
Either do that, or make me
invisible until college.
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00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:06,950
That would fix it.
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00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,661
Thanks, God.
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00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:13,248
Sorry for this awful prayer.
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00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:16,375
We figured the Herdmans
were headed straight for Hell
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00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,377
by way of the state prison
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00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,713
until they got mixed up
with my mother,
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00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,841
our church,
and our big Christmas pageant.
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00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,059
That's my family.
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00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,561
My dad, Bob,
full-time accountant,
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00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,647
my mum, Grace, full-time mum,
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00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:40,234
my brother, Charlie,
full-time smart alec.
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00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,154
Every year.
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00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:46,782
Okay. Honey.
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00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,954
Little help, please. Sweetheart?
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00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:57,000
Normal family in a normal town.
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00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:00,462
And this is our town.
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00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:02,631
It doesn't have much.
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00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:05,383
The one thing our town
was known for
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00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:07,593
was our church's annual
Christmas pageant.
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00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,680
It was a big deal.
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00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,015
Even bigger this year
because of the anniversary.
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00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,726
I'll tell you everything
you need to know
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00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,521
about the Emmanuel Annual.
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00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:20,940
This is the very first one,
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00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,067
the year our church
in our town opened.
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00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,778
Legend has it, the pageant
used to mean something
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00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,947
and that everyone in town
was excited to see it.
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00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,448
They wanted to be reminded
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00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,158
of the beauty
of the Christmas story
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00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:34,246
But I'm not sure the pageant
was all that beautiful any more.
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00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:36,664
This is us last year.
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00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,708
That's Alice,
you met her earlier,
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00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,835
in her third year playing Mary.
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00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:42,545
And that's Mrs Armstrong,
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00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:44,839
who's directed the pageant
for forever
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00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:48,718
and makes sure
nothing ever changes, ever.
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00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:51,554
In my opinion,
after the 74th same old pageant,
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00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:54,640
it had all the depth and joy
of a recycled Christmas card.
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00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,184
But keeping it the same
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00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:58,395
is exactly how the town
wanted it.
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00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,731
Because it was the 75th,
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00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:03,399
there was even more attention
than normal.
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00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,359
People from other towns
were coming.
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00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,652
Former cast members.
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00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,237
It was even in the paper.
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00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:10,281
And the Ladies Aid
was helping with the costumes
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00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:11,825
to make them nicer than normal.
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00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,587
- Is that level?
- Tilting to the left.
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00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,130
- How about... How about now?
- Oh, that's worse.
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00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,381
- Finally...
- What?
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00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,509
...in local news,
'tis the season to remind you
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00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:32,595
of the annual Christmas pageant
in the town of Emmanuel,
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00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:35,181
which will actually fall on
Christmas Day this year.
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00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,099
They're advertising on TV now?
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00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,351
Attendance and giving
are down at church.
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00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,894
The town needs visitors.
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00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,523
I think they're desperate.
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00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:44,899
Okay, just tell me
when it's right.
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00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,108
You don't have to tell me
it's wrong.
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00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,401
I'll just assume
that it's wrong,
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00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:49,237
and you tell me
if it stops being wrong.
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00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:50,322
That's level.
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00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,698
These are kind of hot.
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00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:53,784
- Hold on.
- What?
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00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:58,663
- There.
- They got...
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00:08:58,664 --> 00:09:01,624
So, it's time to tell you
something about my mum.
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00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:04,545
It's hard to sum up what
she does in a single sentence.
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00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,089
Whether it was doing our annual
Christmas decorating together
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00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,341
or making sure we participated
in the Christmas pageant,
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00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,093
even if we didn't want to,
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00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:14,262
she kept our family on track.
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00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,931
That was her main focus in life,
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00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:20,686
but that was about to change
right now.
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00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,064
- Careful.
- What's going on?
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00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:28,318
- Is that a Herdman fire?
- That's the Armstrong house.
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00:09:33,824 --> 00:09:35,157
Oh, no.
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00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,827
Mrs Wendelken. Alice's mum,
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00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:40,162
the queen bee
of the town supermums,
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00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,998
whose single glance...
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00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:43,291
That's the one.
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00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:44,709
...could make my mum feel small.
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00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:47,212
- Tuck in your shirt. Oh.
- It's under my coat.
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00:09:48,964 --> 00:09:49,965
You're gonna be okay.
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00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,885
Helen, are you in much pain?
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00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:56,721
- Yes. Terrible.
- I'm so sorry. What happened?
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00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:58,556
I took a spill. Never mind how.
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00:09:58,557 --> 00:09:59,808
Broke both of her legs.
183
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,685
- Both of them?
- Yes, both.
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00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:04,729
Call Mr Armstrong
at the factory.
185
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,480
And shut off the cooker
under my potatoes
186
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:08,108
or the whole house'll burn down.
187
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,153
Inform the Ladies Aid,
I will not be at the meeting.
188
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,821
We need to find a replacement
for the bazaar.
189
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:15,907
- Okay, that's a lot.
- And the Potluck Committee.
190
00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:17,241
And the Beautification
Committee.
191
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:19,703
- Of course.
- And the Christmas pageant.
192
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,998
I'll need someone
who can follow my plan.
193
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:25,500
- Rebecca?
- Yes.
194
00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:27,960
You could do that.
Especially because of Alice.
195
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,962
I can't, obviously.
196
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,131
I'm too busy with my job
and the other committees.
197
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,718
But don't worry, Helen.
We'll find someone.
198
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:36,637
I suppose I could try.
199
00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:39,555
That's okay, Grace.
200
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:43,267
The pageant is an especially
big deal this year.
201
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,478
You can bring the biscuits.
That's your thing.
202
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:47,022
I'm sorry, "my thing"?
203
00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:50,441
Bringing the biscuits
is "my thing"?
204
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:54,071
Well, your shop-bought brand
from last year were so tasty.
205
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:56,949
You'll be great.
206
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,117
We'll find someone, Helen.
207
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,415
One other thing about my mum,
208
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,792
she preferred
keeping life simple.
209
00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:11,212
But if one of the judgy
town mums challenged her,
210
00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:13,005
she'd try anything.
211
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,090
Even...
212
00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:15,968
- Mrs Armstrong?
- You did what?
213
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,055
You volunteered to direct
the Christmas pageant?
214
00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:22,223
She needed help.
215
00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:24,141
Mrs Wendelken was gonna find...
216
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,685
Mrs Wendelken doesn't have
to do everything
217
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:28,771
and those ladies need to know
I am perfectly capable...
218
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:29,897
You realize that Armstrong woman
219
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,775
is gonna be calling this house
ten times a day?
220
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,528
You didn't give her
our phone number, did you?
221
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:37,446
You promised
she would never have it.
222
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:39,615
After Mrs Wendelken said that
I could just bring biscuits,
223
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:40,867
it was all a blur.
224
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,034
Now I guess I have to attend.
225
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:45,413
And watch Charlie the shepherd
wearing my bathrobe again.
226
00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:48,040
Oh, no. Did somebody die?
227
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,418
It's worse than that, son.
228
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:55,132
Your mum is running
the Christmas pageant.
229
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:58,676
I bet you all think
this is really funny,
230
00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:01,304
but the Christmas pageant
is a tradition,
231
00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:04,265
and it's important
and I can manage it just fine.
232
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,601
In fact, I told Mrs Armstrong
233
00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:09,563
it's going to be the best
Christmas pageant ever.
234
00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:13,567
I wonder who that is.
235
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,613
This was not good.
236
00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:20,948
The pageant
had to be great this year
237
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,992
and as much as I admired her
for stepping up,
238
00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:25,203
Mum had never done
anything like this before
239
00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:27,747
and didn't know what
or who she was up against.
240
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,750
I couldn't stand to see her fail
in front of the whole town.
241
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,586
- But...
- You got this, Mum.
242
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:39,008
God, please make it
a good pageant
243
00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,801
so Mum doesn't get blamed.
244
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,803
Now, why did I spend
so much time
245
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,847
telling you
all about the Herdmans
246
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:47,850
and our town's lather,
rinse, repeat Christmas pageant?
247
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:50,354
What could one possibly
have to do with the other?
248
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,606
You'll see.
249
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,858
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
250
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:59,695
As you know, once a month,
we ask the Sunday School
251
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:02,156
to be in service
for the first 15 minutes
252
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:03,742
and do something special.
253
00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:08,580
Sing a song, act out a parable,
or recite some Bible verses.
254
00:13:09,248 --> 00:13:10,666
Before we bring them up,
255
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,917
I'm sure you heard about
256
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:16,088
Mrs Armstrong's
unfortunate accident.
257
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:17,922
She is recovering.
258
00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:23,303
But I want to be sure to give
special mention to Grace,
259
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:27,349
for volunteering
to direct the Christmas pageant.
260
00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:33,604
We are all very grateful,
261
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:35,064
especially with
all the attention
262
00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:36,774
the pageant
is getting this year.
263
00:13:36,775 --> 00:13:39,152
So good luck. No pressure.
264
00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,280
All right, this month,
265
00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:43,865
Ms Warren asked the kids
266
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:46,451
to share what they liked best
about church.
267
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:47,744
Ms Warren.
268
00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:49,495
Go ahead, sweetie.
269
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,164
So just up there.
Yep, big voice.
270
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,333
What I like best
about Sunday School
271
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,170
is the good feeling I get
when I go there.
272
00:14:01,592 --> 00:14:04,552
All right, Minnie, you're up.
Go ahead. Voice loud.
273
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:07,806
I love to sing hymns,
and I love Jesus.
274
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:11,018
So cute.
275
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:13,270
Charlie, how 'bout you?
276
00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:19,526
What I like best
about church is...
277
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,738
there aren't any Herdmans here.
278
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,418
Charlie'll tell you some
other things he likes next time.
279
00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:40,714
Happy Sunday.
280
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:47,261
What?
There are other things I like,
281
00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:49,639
but she said,
"What you like best."
282
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:53,059
And what I like best
is no Herdmans.
283
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:56,771
Hey, that's not a very
Christian sentiment.
284
00:14:56,772 --> 00:14:59,733
It's the truth. And you say,
"Always tell the truth."
285
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:06,405
When your dad says that,
286
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:09,910
he means not
at the expense of kindness.
287
00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:12,703
- Nailed it.
- Pulled that out of your...
288
00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:15,039
The truth was,
the last three days in a row,
289
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,502
Leroy Herdman stole the dessert
from Charlie's lunch box.
290
00:15:20,212 --> 00:15:21,420
Give it up, Charlie!
291
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,758
Why Charlie? I guess
it was his turn this month.
292
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,854
{\an8}Day three of the siege,
Charlie surrendered.
293
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:40,065
Fine, take it. I don't care.
294
00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:42,984
I get all the snacks I want
from church, anyway.
295
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,944
What kinds of snacks?
296
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:50,741
Chocolate cake, sweetie bars,
biscuits, Kool-Aid, ice cream,
297
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:53,495
doughnuts, popcorn balls.
298
00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:57,665
So go ahead. Church gives me
everything I need.
299
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:59,292
Too bad you'll never know.
300
00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:02,004
You'd melt if you ever
showed up in a church.
301
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:06,592
Charlie's lie couldn't have
backfired more spectacularly.
302
00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:09,427
{\an8}That Sunday was our food drive.
303
00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:11,013
Good morning. Thank you
for coming. Nice to see you.
304
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:13,014
Hello.
305
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:15,309
Good to see you.
Thank you for coming.
306
00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:21,397
You sure we got the right place?
307
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:22,524
They're here.
308
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,110
Oh, my goodness.
309
00:16:26,278 --> 00:16:27,362
We can do this.
310
00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:30,323
Just keep smiling.
311
00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:32,743
- Where do you get the cake?
- Cake?
312
00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:35,912
Yeah. Right over there,
that's it.
313
00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:38,623
Good idea, Leroy.
We can work with this.
314
00:16:38,624 --> 00:16:40,875
Are you here for Sunday School?
315
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:44,921
A-ha! More school, he says.
I knew there'd be a catch.
316
00:16:44,922 --> 00:16:46,464
Come on, let's get outta here.
317
00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:48,926
No, no, no.
It's not like regular school.
318
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:53,137
You'll learn about Jesus
and you'll sing songs about Him.
319
00:16:53,138 --> 00:16:55,223
- Are your parents here?
- Mum's working.
320
00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:57,058
We were told
there'd be desserts.
321
00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:59,101
Free desserts to anyone
who wants 'em.
322
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:02,480
I'm sure I could rustle you up
something special
323
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:04,691
after service,
if you'd like to stay.
324
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,069
I will show you where it is.
325
00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:12,405
Oh, boy.
326
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:16,411
Jesus loves me, this I know
327
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,915
For the Bible tells me so
328
00:17:24,545 --> 00:17:25,796
Uh-oh.
329
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:31,760
Beth, you'd be happy
to have them sit by you, right?
330
00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:35,264
Great. Come now.
331
00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,071
Well, we haven't melted yet.
332
00:17:52,281 --> 00:17:53,322
So they stayed.
333
00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:55,283
Jesus loves me...
334
00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:57,910
They didn't sing any hymns.
335
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,871
For the Bible...
336
00:17:59,872 --> 00:18:01,289
Our Father, who art in heaven...
337
00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:02,457
...or say prayers.
338
00:18:03,876 --> 00:18:05,294
Baby Jesus...
339
00:18:07,004 --> 00:18:09,298
But they did practise
their drawing skills.
340
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:18,765
{\an8}And made a little money.
341
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,392
{\an8}All right, kids.
342
00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:23,394
We're going to be starting
rehearsals soon
343
00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:25,188
for our Christmas pageant.
344
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:27,815
So please be sure
to let your parents know
345
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:30,276
they'll need to stay after
church with you next week
346
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:31,694
for all the details.
347
00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:34,071
I do hope you'll be
in the choir again this year.
348
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:36,741
- Your voice, it's so...
- Grief, Alice.
349
00:18:36,742 --> 00:18:38,034
I'm not gonna try and play Mary
350
00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:40,203
just because my mum's
running the pageant.
351
00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:42,747
We want all of you to be there.
352
00:18:42,748 --> 00:18:44,957
Hey, what's a pageant?
353
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,584
- It's a play.
- A play?
354
00:18:46,585 --> 00:18:48,503
You know, like a film.
355
00:18:48,504 --> 00:18:50,839
- But in front of people.
- A film, huh?
356
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,885
The Herdmans
were big filmgoers.
357
00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:57,595
Come here, you little...
358
00:18:57,596 --> 00:18:58,930
Though they never paid
their own way.
359
00:18:58,931 --> 00:19:01,265
Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Stop! Stop! Stop!
360
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,684
Hey. Hey, hey, hey...
Don't... Stop. Stop.
361
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:06,229
Stop fighting. Hey!
Hey, hey. Okay. Okay.
362
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:07,814
Hey! Enough! Dude. Hey!
363
00:19:19,076 --> 00:19:20,701
Everyone shows up to watch.
364
00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,120
It's about Jesus.
365
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,709
Everything here is.
366
00:19:28,544 --> 00:19:29,627
After that comment,
367
00:19:29,628 --> 00:19:31,964
I figured she didn't care much
about the Christmas pageant.
368
00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:33,339
But I was wrong.
369
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,091
And at summer camp,
they have a super-fast boat.
370
00:19:35,092 --> 00:19:37,009
It's way faster than a car.
371
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,427
I've only ever been on a canoe.
372
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:40,304
And then there's this raft
we dive off of.
373
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:42,682
- I can do the swan dive.
- Sounds fun.
374
00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:44,184
And then you get eaten
by a bear.
375
00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:49,898
So, Nits, Wallflower,
you ready for this?
376
00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:52,234
I'm gonna be in your pageant
this year.
377
00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:55,653
- You're what?
- Nits heard me.
378
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:57,030
I'm gonna be in your Bible play.
379
00:19:57,906 --> 00:20:00,616
What?
You can't be in the pageant.
380
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:02,786
I'm gonna be Baby Jesus's mum.
381
00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,955
You're too dirty to play Mary,
Imogene Herdman.
382
00:20:05,956 --> 00:20:07,498
Everyone knows.
383
00:20:07,499 --> 00:20:08,584
Alice!
384
00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:12,670
- Who's Mary?
- Baby Jesus's mum.
385
00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:14,672
Which everyone knows except you.
386
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:16,382
And I'm always Mary
in the pageant
387
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,510
and there's nothing
you can do about it.
388
00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:23,223
Sweetie, you're gonna tell 'em
you don't wanna do it.
389
00:20:23,974 --> 00:20:25,349
You want me to be Mary.
390
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,976
And why would I do that?
391
00:20:26,977 --> 00:20:29,353
'Cause if you don't,
then next spring,
392
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,397
when the pussy willows come out,
393
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:32,940
I'm gonna stick a pussy willow
394
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:34,942
so far down
your pretty little ear,
395
00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:36,570
they won't be able
to get it out.
396
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:40,907
It'll sprout there
and grow and grow.
397
00:20:40,908 --> 00:20:42,700
And you'll spend
the rest of your life
398
00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:45,871
with a pussy willow bush
growing right out of your head.
399
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,373
Believe it or not,
she'd done it before.
400
00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:52,419
- Get off me! Ow!
- Okay. Just one sec. One sec.
401
00:20:55,589 --> 00:20:56,590
What?
402
00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:07,475
What are you lookin' at?
403
00:21:07,476 --> 00:21:10,603
Why would you even
want to be in the pageant?
404
00:21:10,604 --> 00:21:11,772
None of your business.
405
00:21:22,574 --> 00:21:24,116
While the little kids
were all tired,
406
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:25,785
and the big kids
were all hungry,
407
00:21:25,786 --> 00:21:28,246
and the mothers all wanted
to go home and cook dinner
408
00:21:28,247 --> 00:21:29,872
and the fathers
all wanted to go home
409
00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:31,249
and watch the game on TV,
410
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:35,336
the Herdmans sat quietly,
waiting for my mum to begin.
411
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:39,257
And I was praying for a miracle
that Imogene would stay quiet
412
00:21:39,258 --> 00:21:40,967
and the Herdmans wouldn't burn
anything down
413
00:21:40,968 --> 00:21:42,218
and ruin my mum's rehearsal
414
00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:44,137
and embarrass us
in front of everyone.
415
00:21:45,514 --> 00:21:47,266
Okay, that's three miracles.
416
00:21:50,686 --> 00:21:52,020
Well, hello, everyone.
417
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:55,774
This won't take very long.
418
00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,526
All right, just a moment.
419
00:21:58,527 --> 00:22:02,905
This is from
a lot of calls this week.
420
00:22:02,906 --> 00:22:03,991
Okay.
421
00:22:04,783 --> 00:22:08,035
First, as Mrs Armstrong
always says,
422
00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:11,498
"There are no small parts,
only small actors."
423
00:22:15,169 --> 00:22:16,170
What does that mean?
424
00:22:17,379 --> 00:22:18,839
I honestly don't know.
425
00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:21,841
Okay, we don't have
many rehearsals,
426
00:22:21,842 --> 00:22:24,136
so you must all try
to be present at every one.
427
00:22:25,971 --> 00:22:28,724
- What if we get sick?
- You won't get sick.
428
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:33,019
Now, you little children
over here,
429
00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:34,396
you will be angels.
430
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:37,106
"The older boys and girls
will be shepherds
431
00:22:37,107 --> 00:22:40,110
"and guests at the inn
and members of the choir.
432
00:22:40,903 --> 00:22:42,653
"And we need Mary and Joseph,
433
00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:45,573
"the Three Wise Men,
and the Angel of the Lord.
434
00:22:45,574 --> 00:22:49,785
"They aren't hard parts,
but they're important parts.
435
00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:53,998
"So those kids must absolutely
come to every rehearsal." Oh.
436
00:22:53,999 --> 00:22:55,625
What if they get sick?
437
00:22:55,626 --> 00:22:58,002
- They won't get sick either.
- But what if they do?
438
00:22:58,003 --> 00:22:59,505
Nobody is getting sick, David.
439
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:02,465
"We always start with Mary.
440
00:23:02,466 --> 00:23:05,092
"We must choose Mary carefully
441
00:23:05,093 --> 00:23:08,471
"because Mary
is the mother of Jesus.
442
00:23:08,472 --> 00:23:12,476
"She should be a sweet,
happy little girl, who..."
443
00:23:13,936 --> 00:23:16,355
Okay, enough of this.
444
00:23:17,356 --> 00:23:20,358
I know many of you would like
to play Mary in our pageant,
445
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:22,652
but we only need one.
446
00:23:22,653 --> 00:23:24,278
Imogene, do you have a question?
447
00:23:24,279 --> 00:23:27,073
No. I wanna be Mary.
448
00:23:27,074 --> 00:23:28,784
And Ralph wants to be Joe.
449
00:23:29,535 --> 00:23:31,452
It was like a detective film
450
00:23:31,453 --> 00:23:34,121
where a nice little old lady
shoves a gun in the bank window
451
00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:35,373
and says,
"Give me all your money,"
452
00:23:35,374 --> 00:23:36,874
and you can't believe it.
453
00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:38,835
My mother couldn't believe it.
454
00:23:38,836 --> 00:23:41,004
We have to give
everyone a chance.
455
00:23:41,922 --> 00:23:44,216
Does anyone else
wanna volunteer for Joseph?
456
00:23:46,510 --> 00:23:49,470
Elmer? You usually
like playing Joseph.
457
00:23:49,471 --> 00:23:51,597
Elmer hated playing Joseph.
458
00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:53,057
But his dad was the minister,
459
00:23:53,058 --> 00:23:54,893
so he made him
when nobody else volunteered.
460
00:23:56,603 --> 00:23:58,981
Nobody else ever volunteered.
461
00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:03,819
Well, that's very surprising.
Anybody else?
462
00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:07,322
All right.
463
00:24:08,407 --> 00:24:10,575
Ralph will be our Joseph.
464
00:24:10,576 --> 00:24:13,328
Would anyone else
like to volunteer for Mary?
465
00:24:14,288 --> 00:24:16,331
Alice, don't you want to
volunteer this year?
466
00:24:18,292 --> 00:24:19,626
No.
467
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:24,714
Anybody?
468
00:24:24,715 --> 00:24:27,675
Mum was in a terrible spot.
The worst.
469
00:24:27,676 --> 00:24:31,721
The parents, the pageant,
the church, the whole town,
470
00:24:31,722 --> 00:24:34,308
they'd blame Mum
if the pageant imploded.
471
00:24:34,975 --> 00:24:36,435
Would I step up to help?
472
00:24:37,728 --> 00:24:39,979
What I would do next
would determine
473
00:24:39,980 --> 00:24:42,649
the fate of the pageant
to this very day.
474
00:24:51,366 --> 00:24:52,367
Okay.
475
00:24:53,035 --> 00:24:56,121
Imogene will be our Mary.
476
00:25:00,751 --> 00:25:03,252
We have Wise Men next.
477
00:25:03,253 --> 00:25:05,213
Leroy, Claude and Ollie
wanna play them.
478
00:25:05,214 --> 00:25:08,174
Okay, now we have to give
everyone a chance, Imogene.
479
00:25:08,175 --> 00:25:10,426
Everyone's had their chance.
480
00:25:10,427 --> 00:25:12,721
They've had
all kinds of chances.
481
00:25:13,305 --> 00:25:15,389
- And the Angel of the Lord?
- Gladys.
482
00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:16,683
Me!
483
00:25:19,228 --> 00:25:21,438
Robby! Robby!
484
00:25:22,648 --> 00:25:23,649
Michelle.
485
00:25:24,566 --> 00:25:25,776
You raise that hand.
486
00:25:27,736 --> 00:25:29,530
Suppose that's that, then.
487
00:25:31,865 --> 00:25:33,282
We need the shepherds.
488
00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:34,660
Charlie, you're in.
489
00:25:35,327 --> 00:25:36,410
David and Robby?
490
00:25:36,411 --> 00:25:39,747
I just remembered,
we're going to Philadelphia.
491
00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:42,375
- We are not!
- I'll probably be sick.
492
00:25:42,376 --> 00:25:44,585
I'll put you both down
for probably.
493
00:25:44,586 --> 00:25:46,838
Mum, Gladys Herdman
hits too hard.
494
00:25:46,839 --> 00:25:49,799
My goodness, Gladys isn't going
to hit anyone.
495
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:50,884
What an idea!
496
00:25:51,802 --> 00:25:54,595
The Angel of the Lord visits
the shepherds in the field
497
00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:56,681
and tells them
that Jesus is born.
498
00:25:56,682 --> 00:25:58,057
And hits them.
499
00:25:58,058 --> 00:26:00,059
I don't wanna hear
another word about it.
500
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:02,395
No shepherds
will quit or get sick.
501
00:26:02,396 --> 00:26:03,981
Or go to Philadelphia.
502
00:26:04,648 --> 00:26:05,649
Ow!
503
00:26:07,025 --> 00:26:10,862
I felt terrible for my mum.
And some of it was my fault.
504
00:26:10,863 --> 00:26:13,823
Here she was, five minutes
into covering for Mrs Armstrong
505
00:26:13,824 --> 00:26:16,784
and the Herdmans had hijacked
the entire pageant.
506
00:26:16,785 --> 00:26:19,495
I'd been afraid
it'd be the same old thing,
507
00:26:19,496 --> 00:26:22,207
and now I'd do anything for it
to be boring again.
508
00:26:24,585 --> 00:26:26,794
Word about what happened
spread faster
509
00:26:26,795 --> 00:26:28,714
than a Herdman-set grass fire.
510
00:26:29,339 --> 00:26:31,924
Kids told their parents,
parents called their neighbours
511
00:26:31,925 --> 00:26:33,802
and neighbours
called their relatives.
512
00:26:42,728 --> 00:26:45,355
How could you let this happen?
How could...
513
00:26:46,940 --> 00:26:47,941
How could...
514
00:26:48,901 --> 00:26:49,902
How could...
515
00:26:50,611 --> 00:26:52,570
Does anyone have a paper bag?
516
00:26:52,571 --> 00:26:53,905
It's not fair
that a whole family
517
00:26:53,906 --> 00:26:55,156
who doesn't even
go to our church
518
00:26:55,157 --> 00:26:57,033
just barged in and took over
the pageant.
519
00:26:57,034 --> 00:26:58,618
Injustice was done.
520
00:26:58,619 --> 00:27:01,580
We all agree it was a travesty.
521
00:27:02,581 --> 00:27:05,082
Because the Herdmans volunteered
for the pageant?
522
00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:07,293
She is referring
to the grievous assault
523
00:27:07,294 --> 00:27:09,296
on the impartial
casting process yesterday.
524
00:27:09,922 --> 00:27:13,090
With all due respect,
nothing about the process
525
00:27:13,091 --> 00:27:15,177
has ever been impartial,
Mrs Armstrong.
526
00:27:16,053 --> 00:27:18,638
And as for a grievous assault,
527
00:27:18,639 --> 00:27:22,225
I literally pleaded with
your children to participate.
528
00:27:22,226 --> 00:27:24,436
We were paralysed with shock.
529
00:27:25,020 --> 00:27:26,021
But you spoke.
530
00:27:26,980 --> 00:27:28,190
It came in waves.
531
00:27:30,859 --> 00:27:33,069
I'm sorry, but we're using
532
00:27:33,070 --> 00:27:35,112
really big words
to talk about a pageant
533
00:27:35,113 --> 00:27:37,198
where the kids
just have to stand
534
00:27:37,199 --> 00:27:39,700
in the same spot
they stand in every year.
535
00:27:39,701 --> 00:27:41,161
We take it seriously.
536
00:27:42,371 --> 00:27:45,957
So do I, Mrs Slocum,
that's why I volunteered.
537
00:27:45,958 --> 00:27:49,503
Judging by who you cast as Mary,
you apparently don't.
538
00:27:51,171 --> 00:27:52,214
Rebecca,
539
00:27:52,923 --> 00:27:55,132
is it possible that,
as Alice's mum,
540
00:27:55,133 --> 00:27:57,553
you have a personal interest
in who plays Mary?
541
00:27:58,387 --> 00:27:59,805
The pageant is sacred.
542
00:28:00,430 --> 00:28:01,431
Wait.
543
00:28:02,224 --> 00:28:03,933
The pageant is sacred?
544
00:28:03,934 --> 00:28:06,102
- Obviously.
- It's about community.
545
00:28:06,103 --> 00:28:07,937
- And fundraising.
- And Mother Mary.
546
00:28:07,938 --> 00:28:10,481
- And tradition.
- What do you all suggest?
547
00:28:10,482 --> 00:28:13,067
That I kick the Herdmans
out of the Christmas pageant
548
00:28:13,068 --> 00:28:14,862
and keep them out of the church?
549
00:28:15,904 --> 00:28:17,030
Yes.
550
00:28:33,922 --> 00:28:35,257
I mean,
I can't just kick 'em out.
551
00:28:36,258 --> 00:28:39,051
But they're right. It might be
a disaster with the Herdmans.
552
00:28:39,052 --> 00:28:41,971
Now, that's a pageant
I'd actually like to see.
553
00:28:41,972 --> 00:28:43,890
Mother Mary puffin' on a cigar,
554
00:28:43,891 --> 00:28:46,601
the shepherds clobbering
each other with their hooks.
555
00:28:46,602 --> 00:28:48,478
Five bucks say
they burn down the manger.
556
00:28:49,354 --> 00:28:50,521
Why'd you have to tell 'em
557
00:28:50,522 --> 00:28:52,356
they'd get food at church, dummy?
558
00:28:52,357 --> 00:28:53,566
'Cause I didn't think
they'd actually
559
00:28:53,567 --> 00:28:55,109
walk into a church building!
560
00:28:55,110 --> 00:28:56,987
I'm surprised
they didn't burst into flames.
561
00:28:57,988 --> 00:28:59,698
Sorry I didn't volunteer.
562
00:29:01,325 --> 00:29:02,492
Did I ruin the pageant?
563
00:29:03,076 --> 00:29:06,455
Oh, my goodness, no! Honey...
564
00:29:08,165 --> 00:29:11,792
Beth, I will tell you
what I told those condescending,
565
00:29:11,793 --> 00:29:13,920
hyper-controlling
busybodies from church,
566
00:29:13,921 --> 00:29:15,546
that while Helen Armstrong
might be surprised
567
00:29:15,547 --> 00:29:16,839
the sun rises every morning
568
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:18,508
even though she's not there
to supervise it,
569
00:29:18,509 --> 00:29:20,134
she is not the only woman
in the world
570
00:29:20,135 --> 00:29:21,636
who can run a Christmas pageant.
571
00:29:21,637 --> 00:29:23,304
And if they don't think
I can do it,
572
00:29:23,305 --> 00:29:24,972
they are in for a big lesson.
573
00:29:24,973 --> 00:29:26,350
You said all that?
574
00:29:27,267 --> 00:29:29,060
Well, not all of it.
575
00:29:29,061 --> 00:29:30,979
- Any of it?
- Never mind.
576
00:29:32,356 --> 00:29:34,398
It was the night
of the first rehearsal.
577
00:29:34,399 --> 00:29:37,193
The big night for Mum to prove
she could make this work.
578
00:29:37,194 --> 00:29:39,737
I was ready to help
in any way I could.
579
00:29:39,738 --> 00:29:42,031
But first, as usual,
the kids were sent outside
580
00:29:42,032 --> 00:29:44,116
while the parents
had prayer time together.
581
00:29:44,117 --> 00:29:46,786
I think it was less about prayer
than that they wanted us all
582
00:29:46,787 --> 00:29:49,372
to get our energy out
so we'd behave later.
583
00:29:49,373 --> 00:29:50,666
But then...
584
00:30:04,179 --> 00:30:05,347
Now.
585
00:30:22,865 --> 00:30:23,866
Stop.
586
00:30:25,826 --> 00:30:28,744
Hey, kids. They'll be ready
for you in a minute.
587
00:30:28,745 --> 00:30:30,205
Have a good rehearsal.
588
00:30:51,643 --> 00:30:53,686
The first rehearsal
was usually about as much fun
589
00:30:53,687 --> 00:30:55,646
as a three-hour ride
on the school bus.
590
00:30:55,647 --> 00:30:57,982
And just as noisy and crowded.
591
00:30:57,983 --> 00:31:01,194
But after what we'd just faced,
no one made a sound
592
00:31:01,195 --> 00:31:03,029
and we just waited
quietly to see
593
00:31:03,030 --> 00:31:05,656
what awful thing
the Herdmans might do next.
594
00:31:05,657 --> 00:31:08,117
This is why they shouldn't
have shown up.
595
00:31:08,118 --> 00:31:10,328
Didn't Reverend Hopkins
talk about when Jesus said,
596
00:31:10,329 --> 00:31:12,371
"Suffer the little children
come unto me"?
597
00:31:12,372 --> 00:31:14,416
Yeah, well, Jesus wouldn't have
suffered Herdmans.
598
00:31:15,292 --> 00:31:16,835
- Okay.
- Mum?
599
00:31:17,961 --> 00:31:19,504
Do you need help with anything?
600
00:31:19,505 --> 00:31:21,673
Today, we're going to ignore
everything except blood.
601
00:31:22,633 --> 00:31:24,927
I'm gonna start soon. Now,
go sit down next to Imogene.
602
00:31:26,345 --> 00:31:27,346
Mum!
603
00:31:28,722 --> 00:31:31,016
Your quiet might rub off on her.
604
00:31:36,438 --> 00:31:38,398
Okay, quiet down, everyone.
605
00:31:40,859 --> 00:31:42,611
Good, then.
606
00:31:44,071 --> 00:31:45,071
Okay.
607
00:31:45,072 --> 00:31:49,033
Welcome, everyone.
We're glad to see all of you.
608
00:31:49,034 --> 00:31:50,993
That might've been
the biggest lie ever said
609
00:31:50,994 --> 00:31:52,495
right out loud in the church.
610
00:31:52,496 --> 00:31:53,871
First, the easy part.
611
00:31:53,872 --> 00:31:55,790
Let's separate
everyone into angels
612
00:31:55,791 --> 00:31:58,334
and shepherds
and guests at the inn.
613
00:31:58,335 --> 00:32:00,670
Who were the shepherds?
Where'd they come from?
614
00:32:00,671 --> 00:32:02,380
- What's an inn?
- It's like a motel
615
00:32:02,381 --> 00:32:04,090
where people go
to spend the night.
616
00:32:04,091 --> 00:32:05,591
What people? Jesus?
617
00:32:05,592 --> 00:32:08,427
Oh, honestly!
Jesus wasn't even born yet!
618
00:32:08,428 --> 00:32:10,263
Mary and Joseph went there.
619
00:32:10,264 --> 00:32:12,181
- Why?
- What happened first?
620
00:32:12,182 --> 00:32:14,518
- Begin at the beginning.
- The very beginning?
621
00:32:15,102 --> 00:32:17,311
That really scared everyone
because the beginning
622
00:32:17,312 --> 00:32:19,063
would be The Book of Genesis,
623
00:32:19,064 --> 00:32:20,857
where it says
"In the beginning."
624
00:32:20,858 --> 00:32:23,068
And if we started there,
we'd be here for years.
625
00:32:23,735 --> 00:32:26,405
Let's start at the beginning
of the Christmas story.
626
00:32:27,739 --> 00:32:30,741
We've all heard it
a million times.
627
00:32:30,742 --> 00:32:33,328
I think it's a good idea
for all of us to hear it again.
628
00:32:33,829 --> 00:32:36,373
It's a good reminder
of what Christmas is all about.
629
00:32:37,583 --> 00:32:39,876
"And Joseph also
went up from Galilee,
630
00:32:39,877 --> 00:32:42,837
"out of the city of Nazareth
into Judea,
631
00:32:42,838 --> 00:32:46,175
"unto the city of David,
which is called Bethlehem,
632
00:32:46,633 --> 00:32:49,343
"because he was of the house
and lineage of David,
633
00:32:49,344 --> 00:32:53,431
"to be taxed with Mary,
his espoused wife,
634
00:32:53,432 --> 00:32:55,391
"being great with child."
635
00:32:55,392 --> 00:32:58,102
- "Great with child"?
- Pregnant, stupid.
636
00:32:58,103 --> 00:32:59,187
Ralph, that's enough.
637
00:32:59,188 --> 00:33:01,522
It's not very nice to say that
Mary was pregnant.
638
00:33:01,523 --> 00:33:03,107
My mother wouldn't want us
talking about that.
639
00:33:03,108 --> 00:33:04,192
It was true.
640
00:33:04,193 --> 00:33:05,818
Mrs Wendelken didn't like
641
00:33:05,819 --> 00:33:07,904
cats having kittens
or birds laying eggs,
642
00:33:07,905 --> 00:33:11,032
and she didn't let Alice play
with anyone who had two rabbits.
643
00:33:11,033 --> 00:33:12,117
Will ya shut up?
644
00:33:12,993 --> 00:33:14,243
I wanna hear.
645
00:33:14,244 --> 00:33:15,620
I couldn't believe it.
646
00:33:15,621 --> 00:33:18,164
The Herdmans were famous
for never sitting still
647
00:33:18,165 --> 00:33:20,374
and never paying attention
to anyone,
648
00:33:20,375 --> 00:33:22,835
teachers, parents, police.
649
00:33:22,836 --> 00:33:25,296
Yet something about
the Christmas story
650
00:33:25,297 --> 00:33:27,215
had them hanging on every word.
651
00:33:27,216 --> 00:33:29,550
Mary and Joseph
had to go in the stable
652
00:33:29,551 --> 00:33:33,221
because there was no room
for them at the inn.
653
00:33:33,222 --> 00:33:36,182
My God! Not even for Jesus?
654
00:33:36,183 --> 00:33:38,851
We don't use God's name
that way, Imogene.
655
00:33:38,852 --> 00:33:42,438
What's a manger?
Is that like a bed for the baby?
656
00:33:42,439 --> 00:33:44,190
Why would they have
a bed in a barn?
657
00:33:44,191 --> 00:33:46,943
Well, that's the point,
actually, Leroy.
658
00:33:46,944 --> 00:33:48,945
They didn't have
a bed in a barn.
659
00:33:48,946 --> 00:33:50,446
They had to use
whatever was there.
660
00:33:50,447 --> 00:33:52,657
What would you do
if you had a new baby
661
00:33:52,658 --> 00:33:54,200
and no bed to put the baby in?
662
00:33:54,201 --> 00:33:55,827
We put Gladys
in a drawer.
663
00:33:57,746 --> 00:33:59,288
There you go.
664
00:33:59,289 --> 00:34:00,581
Mary put the Baby Jesus
665
00:34:00,582 --> 00:34:02,875
in a stone feeding trough
for animals.
666
00:34:02,876 --> 00:34:04,503
What were the wadded up clothes?
667
00:34:05,379 --> 00:34:07,713
You said she wrapped Him
in wadded-up clothes.
668
00:34:07,714 --> 00:34:09,132
Swaddling clothes.
669
00:34:10,217 --> 00:34:13,302
They used to wrap their babies
tightly in a big piece of fabric
670
00:34:13,303 --> 00:34:14,553
so they couldn't move around.
671
00:34:14,554 --> 00:34:17,390
They tied Him up
and put Him in a box?
672
00:34:17,391 --> 00:34:18,891
Where was Child Welfare?
673
00:34:22,312 --> 00:34:25,189
"And, lo, the Angel of the Lord
came upon them
674
00:34:25,190 --> 00:34:28,024
"and the glory of the Lord
shone round about them."
675
00:34:28,025 --> 00:34:29,277
Shazam!
676
00:34:30,279 --> 00:34:31,279
Shazam?
677
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:32,738
Out of the black night
678
00:34:32,739 --> 00:34:36,242
with horrible vengeance,
the Mighty Marvo!
679
00:34:36,243 --> 00:34:38,245
That's the most
she's ever spoke.
680
00:34:39,621 --> 00:34:41,247
It's a comic book.
681
00:34:41,248 --> 00:34:42,666
Oh.
682
00:34:43,292 --> 00:34:45,584
Well, then, yes.
683
00:34:45,585 --> 00:34:47,086
I think the Angel of the Lord
684
00:34:47,087 --> 00:34:49,255
is kind of like
a comic book hero.
685
00:34:51,592 --> 00:34:55,845
"Now, when Jesus was born
in Bethlehem of Judea,
686
00:34:55,846 --> 00:34:59,557
"in the days of Herod the King,
behold,
687
00:34:59,558 --> 00:35:03,144
"there came Wise Men
from the east to Jerusalem."
688
00:35:03,145 --> 00:35:06,355
That's you, Leroy.
Claude, Ollie, pay attention.
689
00:35:06,356 --> 00:35:09,066
Wise how?
They teachers or somethin'?
690
00:35:09,067 --> 00:35:11,027
No, dumbbell,
they're like presidents.
691
00:35:11,028 --> 00:35:12,112
Let's not hit.
692
00:35:13,030 --> 00:35:15,448
But that's close.
They were kings.
693
00:35:15,449 --> 00:35:16,741
Well, it's about time.
694
00:35:16,742 --> 00:35:20,369
Maybe someone'll finally tell
that innkeeper where to get off
695
00:35:20,370 --> 00:35:22,247
and get the baby
out of the barn.
696
00:35:25,125 --> 00:35:26,834
"And when they were come
into the house,
697
00:35:26,835 --> 00:35:28,628
"they saw the young child
698
00:35:28,629 --> 00:35:30,379
"with Mary, His mother,
699
00:35:30,380 --> 00:35:32,632
"and fell down
and worshipped Him.
700
00:35:32,633 --> 00:35:34,342
"And when they had
opened their treasures,
701
00:35:34,343 --> 00:35:39,889
"they presented unto Him gifts,
gold, frankincense, and myrrh."
702
00:35:39,890 --> 00:35:41,933
Hold on. What's that stuff?
703
00:35:41,934 --> 00:35:43,643
Oils and perfume.
704
00:35:43,644 --> 00:35:47,772
Oil? What sort of cheap king
hands out oil?
705
00:35:47,773 --> 00:35:50,650
You'd get better presents
at the firemen's shelter.
706
00:35:50,651 --> 00:35:53,486
It was King Herod, actually.
707
00:35:53,487 --> 00:35:56,614
He sent the Wise Men
to find the Baby Jesus.
708
00:35:56,615 --> 00:35:59,242
Was it him that sent
the crummy presents?
709
00:35:59,243 --> 00:36:00,993
It was worse than that, actually.
710
00:36:00,994 --> 00:36:03,663
Herod planned on putting
the Baby Jesus to death.
711
00:36:03,664 --> 00:36:05,373
- My God!
- Imogene.
712
00:36:05,374 --> 00:36:06,791
Who's playing this Herod, anyway?
713
00:36:06,792 --> 00:36:08,709
We don't show Herod
in our pageant.
714
00:36:08,710 --> 00:36:10,753
- What?
- What?
715
00:36:10,754 --> 00:36:12,588
- Come on!
- No!
716
00:36:12,589 --> 00:36:14,674
You gotta show him getting
beat up in the end.
717
00:36:14,675 --> 00:36:15,758
Charlie can be Herod.
718
00:36:15,759 --> 00:36:17,635
- I don't wanna be Herod.
- No!
719
00:36:17,636 --> 00:36:19,220
Somebody oughta get
the innkeeper too.
720
00:36:19,221 --> 00:36:22,432
- Gladys, use your angel powers.
- No, honey, I don't think we...
721
00:36:27,354 --> 00:36:31,149
All right, that's enough.
That's enough! That's enough.
722
00:36:32,025 --> 00:36:33,360
Okay, okay.
723
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:39,073
Please, I need you all
to settle down.
724
00:36:39,074 --> 00:36:41,410
- Maybe Jesus can kill Herod.
- Shazam!
725
00:37:03,140 --> 00:37:05,893
- Nice painting, huh?
- I guess.
726
00:37:08,103 --> 00:37:11,522
That Mary, she was a tough one.
727
00:37:11,523 --> 00:37:12,608
Tough?
728
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,610
Yeah, she went
through quite a lot
729
00:37:15,611 --> 00:37:18,530
and overcame big challenges
to bring a child into the world.
730
00:37:21,408 --> 00:37:22,618
Doesn't look tough.
731
00:37:23,243 --> 00:37:24,995
Just looks sweet and pretty.
732
00:37:26,038 --> 00:37:28,582
Yeah. In that painting,
I guess, yeah.
733
00:37:31,126 --> 00:37:34,254
What do they have the name of
our town above the painting for?
734
00:37:35,088 --> 00:37:36,672
Do you know what Emmanuel means?
735
00:37:36,673 --> 00:37:37,758
No.
736
00:37:39,218 --> 00:37:40,761
It means "God with us."
737
00:37:42,179 --> 00:37:43,805
That's what Baby Jesus was.
738
00:37:44,806 --> 00:37:45,807
And you're...
739
00:37:47,184 --> 00:37:50,061
The character
you volunteered to play
740
00:37:50,062 --> 00:37:51,563
helped make that happen.
741
00:37:52,981 --> 00:37:53,982
Pretty neat.
742
00:37:56,276 --> 00:37:57,277
I guess.
743
00:38:01,532 --> 00:38:02,533
Anyways...
744
00:38:03,867 --> 00:38:04,868
look, I...
745
00:38:07,829 --> 00:38:11,333
You all asked
a lot of good questions tonight.
746
00:38:13,335 --> 00:38:16,046
And it made me wonder...
747
00:38:17,506 --> 00:38:20,174
if maybe you might enjoy
watching the Christmas pageant
748
00:38:20,175 --> 00:38:21,343
more than being in it.
749
00:38:23,011 --> 00:38:24,554
You know, you could really
750
00:38:24,555 --> 00:38:26,764
absorb it all,
see all the details.
751
00:38:26,765 --> 00:38:28,141
You know what I mean?
752
00:38:31,353 --> 00:38:33,564
No. I'm gonna do this.
753
00:38:37,276 --> 00:38:39,402
I think my character
should've set fire to that inn.
754
00:38:39,403 --> 00:38:40,695
Yeah. Maybe in the play,
755
00:38:40,696 --> 00:38:43,198
you can chase the innkeeper
to the next country.
756
00:38:46,201 --> 00:38:47,202
Imogene...
757
00:38:48,787 --> 00:38:50,663
I really need them to behave.
758
00:38:50,664 --> 00:38:52,456
If you could help me with that,
759
00:38:52,457 --> 00:38:54,000
I can make sure you have
all the dessert you want
760
00:38:54,001 --> 00:38:55,294
when the pageant is over.
What do you think?
761
00:38:56,587 --> 00:38:57,671
Heard that before.
762
00:38:59,756 --> 00:39:00,966
Imogene, let's go!
763
00:39:02,009 --> 00:39:03,010
Gotta go.
764
00:39:16,732 --> 00:39:17,816
Oh!
765
00:39:18,275 --> 00:39:20,986
- What happened to you?
- Herdmans.
766
00:39:22,112 --> 00:39:24,698
They tried to kill me... again.
767
00:39:25,449 --> 00:39:26,658
That's show business, pal.
768
00:39:34,249 --> 00:39:35,417
I'm at a loss.
769
00:39:36,043 --> 00:39:38,794
I don't see any bruises.
That's a victory.
770
00:39:38,795 --> 00:39:41,797
We didn't even rehearse. She
just told the Christmas story.
771
00:39:41,798 --> 00:39:43,299
The Herdmans had never heard it.
772
00:39:43,300 --> 00:39:45,343
Just suppose you didn't know
anything about it,
773
00:39:45,344 --> 00:39:46,802
and somebody told you.
774
00:39:46,803 --> 00:39:48,889
I'd be more confused
about Santa Claus.
775
00:39:50,807 --> 00:39:52,475
What would you think?
776
00:39:52,476 --> 00:39:54,810
Well, the whole thing's
a hospitality nightmare.
777
00:39:54,811 --> 00:39:56,854
Pretty pathetic that
a pregnant woman shows up
778
00:39:56,855 --> 00:39:58,940
and the only room you can find
for her is in the stable.
779
00:39:58,941 --> 00:40:00,816
That's exactly
what the Herdmans said.
780
00:40:00,817 --> 00:40:03,152
I never thought about it before.
It is pathetic.
781
00:40:03,153 --> 00:40:05,196
We hear all about
this warm stable
782
00:40:05,197 --> 00:40:07,616
with animals
and the sweet-smelling hay.
783
00:40:08,575 --> 00:40:10,077
My cousins grew up on a farm.
784
00:40:10,702 --> 00:40:12,370
Nothing sweet about that smell.
785
00:40:12,371 --> 00:40:14,205
I have to admit.
786
00:40:14,206 --> 00:40:17,708
Deep down, those kids
might just have good instincts.
787
00:40:17,709 --> 00:40:20,003
They wanted to burn
Herod alive, Mum.
788
00:40:21,421 --> 00:40:22,631
I said, "Deep down."
789
00:40:23,799 --> 00:40:26,551
They picked the right villain.
That's something, right?
790
00:40:26,552 --> 00:40:29,054
What did happen to Herod?
I don't even know.
791
00:40:31,265 --> 00:40:32,766
Who would be calling at this...
792
00:40:34,768 --> 00:40:36,394
- Mrs Armstrong.
- Mrs Armstrong.
793
00:40:36,395 --> 00:40:38,312
It's the fifth time this hour.
794
00:40:38,313 --> 00:40:41,315
Wendelken told her that you
haven't axed the Herdmans yet.
795
00:40:41,316 --> 00:40:43,402
She needs to know
what's taking so long.
796
00:40:45,028 --> 00:40:46,404
Sweetheart, the smell of this
797
00:40:46,405 --> 00:40:48,740
just reminds me
that you're busy.
798
00:40:50,701 --> 00:40:51,702
God...
799
00:40:53,203 --> 00:40:55,037
I just have a feeling
800
00:40:55,038 --> 00:40:57,124
this is gonna be
a real disaster.
801
00:40:59,751 --> 00:41:00,878
You awake, kiddo?
802
00:41:08,385 --> 00:41:10,052
How you doin' with all this?
803
00:41:10,053 --> 00:41:12,639
Are we sure Mum can't replace
the Herdmans?
804
00:41:13,265 --> 00:41:14,932
I think it's a little late
for that.
805
00:41:14,933 --> 00:41:18,520
And it's all my fault, because
I didn't raise my stupid hand.
806
00:41:19,396 --> 00:41:22,607
There was a man much
wiser than me that once said,
807
00:41:22,608 --> 00:41:25,484
"You can't add
a single hour to your life
808
00:41:25,485 --> 00:41:27,987
"by being anxious
about anything."
809
00:41:27,988 --> 00:41:29,865
And that includes putting on
a Christmas pageant.
810
00:41:30,282 --> 00:41:31,909
He hadn't met the Herdmans.
811
00:41:33,452 --> 00:41:34,453
Actually...
812
00:41:35,495 --> 00:41:37,080
he knows them
better than anyone.
813
00:41:37,873 --> 00:41:41,709
Anyway, would you come with me
in the morning to do something?
814
00:41:41,710 --> 00:41:43,045
What kinda something?
815
00:41:43,795 --> 00:41:46,380
Sort of an errand.
816
00:41:46,381 --> 00:41:48,049
I think it'd be good
for you to go.
817
00:41:48,050 --> 00:41:49,134
And the whole family.
818
00:41:49,718 --> 00:41:51,136
Somethin' I want you to see.
819
00:41:52,471 --> 00:41:53,472
Okay.
820
00:41:55,057 --> 00:41:56,266
Get some sleep.
821
00:41:56,975 --> 00:41:58,601
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
822
00:41:58,602 --> 00:42:00,728
Evan. You got it?
823
00:42:00,729 --> 00:42:01,813
Yeah.
824
00:42:06,777 --> 00:42:08,779
- Thanks, Bob.
- Thank you. Merry Christmas.
825
00:42:12,157 --> 00:42:14,451
- What's all this for?
- Wouldn't you like to know?
826
00:42:22,668 --> 00:42:24,418
I never knew you were
a Secret Santa.
827
00:42:24,419 --> 00:42:25,878
Well, it's not exactly a secret.
828
00:42:25,879 --> 00:42:27,713
The Church
Charitable Works Committee
829
00:42:27,714 --> 00:42:29,215
has been doing this for decades.
830
00:42:29,216 --> 00:42:32,802
It's a good way to get out of
our comfort zone and step up.
831
00:42:32,803 --> 00:42:34,345
Plus, I thought you all would be
832
00:42:34,346 --> 00:42:36,557
especially interested
in one of my stops.
833
00:42:45,816 --> 00:42:47,775
I think some of your classmates
live here.
834
00:42:47,776 --> 00:42:51,070
Really?
This is one of your stops?
835
00:42:51,071 --> 00:42:53,739
You never told me
you visited the Herdmans.
836
00:42:53,740 --> 00:42:55,284
Didn't seem of note
until this year.
837
00:42:55,993 --> 00:42:58,786
- Beth, you wanna come?
- That wouldn't be a good idea.
838
00:42:58,787 --> 00:43:00,413
Okay.
839
00:43:00,414 --> 00:43:03,917
But we all need to remember
Christmas comes for everyone.
840
00:43:24,563 --> 00:43:26,105
- It's the ham man!
- I want some!
841
00:43:26,106 --> 00:43:28,357
- It's ham day!
- Give me some ham! Give it!
842
00:43:28,358 --> 00:43:29,567
Ham day!
843
00:43:29,568 --> 00:43:31,195
Hey! Hey! Hey!
844
00:43:31,778 --> 00:43:33,613
That ham's for Christmas eatin'
845
00:43:33,614 --> 00:43:35,615
and if any of you
touch it before then,
846
00:43:35,616 --> 00:43:38,327
I will invent a torture
just for you!
847
00:43:40,829 --> 00:43:43,248
- Is your mum home?
- Not when the sun's up.
848
00:43:44,958 --> 00:43:48,085
- I'm sorry about that.
- It's fine. I know how to cook.
849
00:43:48,086 --> 00:43:49,171
I'm sure you do.
850
00:43:52,341 --> 00:43:54,885
Well, please let her know
I stopped by.
851
00:43:55,511 --> 00:43:56,970
I got the biggest ham
for you guys.
852
00:44:03,268 --> 00:44:04,603
Merry Christmas.
853
00:44:12,736 --> 00:44:14,070
Give it to me!
I want the first bite!
854
00:44:14,071 --> 00:44:16,739
Give it to me!
Back off, Imogene!
855
00:44:16,740 --> 00:44:17,908
Get off me, Ralph!
856
00:44:18,659 --> 00:44:20,536
Back up! Back up!
857
00:44:25,582 --> 00:44:27,416
No mum or dad home.
858
00:44:27,417 --> 00:44:28,835
Reverend Hopkins says
they don't know
859
00:44:28,836 --> 00:44:30,461
where their mum is
half the time.
860
00:44:30,462 --> 00:44:32,505
I heard, when Gladys turned two,
861
00:44:32,506 --> 00:44:34,674
Mr Herdman climbed
on a railroad train
862
00:44:34,675 --> 00:44:36,259
and never came back.
863
00:44:36,260 --> 00:44:39,137
- Nobody could blame him.
- All right, Beth, that's enough.
864
00:44:41,515 --> 00:44:43,976
I can't believe I listened
to those women.
865
00:44:45,435 --> 00:44:46,854
What's on your mind?
866
00:44:48,939 --> 00:44:50,439
What's on my mind is that
867
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:53,192
Mrs Armstrong
and Mrs Wendelken
868
00:44:53,193 --> 00:44:55,445
and everyone else can stuff it.
869
00:44:56,613 --> 00:44:57,947
Whoa.
870
00:44:57,948 --> 00:44:59,032
After all,
871
00:44:59,950 --> 00:45:02,160
they raised their hands,
and no one else did.
872
00:45:03,161 --> 00:45:04,162
And that's that.
873
00:45:30,898 --> 00:45:32,231
Ow! What?
874
00:45:32,232 --> 00:45:33,859
How do you get a book
out of the library?
875
00:45:35,527 --> 00:45:36,819
Well, you have to have a card.
876
00:45:36,820 --> 00:45:38,529
- Do you have one?
- Yeah.
877
00:45:38,530 --> 00:45:39,615
Give it to me.
878
00:45:41,033 --> 00:45:43,284
It doesn't
really work like that.
879
00:45:43,285 --> 00:45:44,995
I'll be right with you.
880
00:45:46,330 --> 00:45:47,331
Oh, my.
881
00:45:48,790 --> 00:45:51,250
I don't keep any money here,
if that's what you're after.
882
00:45:51,251 --> 00:45:53,837
This is the library, right?
Where the books are?
883
00:45:54,922 --> 00:45:56,839
We need the one
with Jesus in it.
884
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:58,424
And His mum.
885
00:45:58,425 --> 00:46:00,719
- And the Wise Men.
- And stupid Herod.
886
00:46:01,845 --> 00:46:03,262
It's the one they use in church.
887
00:46:03,263 --> 00:46:04,472
You mean the Bible?
888
00:46:04,473 --> 00:46:06,265
Hi, Mrs Graebner.
889
00:46:06,266 --> 00:46:09,018
Imogene and her brothers
would like to get library cards.
890
00:46:09,019 --> 00:46:10,103
Me too!
891
00:46:10,979 --> 00:46:12,063
And her sister.
892
00:46:12,064 --> 00:46:13,231
Beth!
893
00:46:13,232 --> 00:46:14,315
Oh, phew!
894
00:46:14,316 --> 00:46:16,275
- I thought that...
- Calm down, lady.
895
00:46:16,276 --> 00:46:17,819
We just need to look
some stuff up.
896
00:46:19,029 --> 00:46:22,573
Imogene and Ralph are playing
Mary and Joseph in the pageant.
897
00:46:22,574 --> 00:46:24,952
I'm aware. I bought tickets.
898
00:46:25,702 --> 00:46:27,954
Before I found out about it.
899
00:46:27,955 --> 00:46:29,622
They haven't
offered any refunds.
900
00:46:29,623 --> 00:46:33,584
And now, you want library cards?
901
00:46:33,585 --> 00:46:34,670
You?
902
00:46:36,129 --> 00:46:37,589
To check out Bibles?
903
00:46:39,341 --> 00:46:42,636
Now I've seen everything.
Herdmans in the library.
904
00:46:45,305 --> 00:46:47,683
There's the Christmas story.
905
00:46:49,268 --> 00:46:51,311
Where's the pictures?
906
00:47:01,697 --> 00:47:05,533
Some of these words are weird,
but this stuff is gold.
907
00:47:05,534 --> 00:47:08,911
- Ralph, go find a Herod book.
- How?
908
00:47:08,912 --> 00:47:10,204
I'll show you
the card catalogue.
909
00:47:10,205 --> 00:47:12,957
Don't buy anything!
910
00:47:12,958 --> 00:47:15,085
It's not that kind of catalogue.
911
00:47:18,297 --> 00:47:21,133
Beth's mum was right.
This Mary is kind of tough.
912
00:47:25,596 --> 00:47:28,264
The Herdmans searched through
book after book,
913
00:47:28,265 --> 00:47:30,474
looking up every question
that came to mind.
914
00:47:30,475 --> 00:47:33,019
My fingers were sliced up
like a turkey sandwich
915
00:47:33,020 --> 00:47:35,314
from all the times I went back
to the card catalogue.
916
00:47:46,617 --> 00:47:49,036
- Pictures.
- Pictures in lots of books.
917
00:47:50,537 --> 00:47:52,622
I'd had plenty
of homework assignments
918
00:47:52,623 --> 00:47:54,415
where I had to go to the library
919
00:47:54,416 --> 00:47:57,376
but I don't think I was ever
as interested in anything
920
00:47:57,377 --> 00:47:59,670
as Imogene
was in the Christmas story.
921
00:47:59,671 --> 00:48:01,297
Do you hear me?
922
00:48:01,298 --> 00:48:04,551
The shepherds were just minding
their business, and boom!
923
00:48:06,011 --> 00:48:08,721
Yeah, I get it.
We're Wise Men, though.
924
00:48:08,722 --> 00:48:10,598
We just walk up
with a box of junk.
925
00:48:10,599 --> 00:48:12,392
Why are you making us
do all this?
926
00:48:16,939 --> 00:48:19,232
Ollie, what's that film
you like with the whale?
927
00:48:19,233 --> 00:48:20,608
Land Ho!
928
00:48:20,609 --> 00:48:22,610
You think that captain guy
in Land Ho!
929
00:48:22,611 --> 00:48:24,403
just made up
how to build a raft?
930
00:48:24,404 --> 00:48:25,696
- No way.
- That's right.
931
00:48:25,697 --> 00:48:27,366
He had to read up.
932
00:48:28,075 --> 00:48:29,742
I thought we were
doing this for cake.
933
00:48:29,743 --> 00:48:31,327
It's about the cake, too.
934
00:48:31,328 --> 00:48:34,122
But it's also, like,
we get to make a film.
935
00:48:35,707 --> 00:48:38,418
In the films we watch,
the actress gets to...
936
00:48:40,087 --> 00:48:43,673
All the actors and actresses
get to be someone else.
937
00:48:43,674 --> 00:48:46,843
They get to change who they are
and live a different life.
938
00:48:46,844 --> 00:48:49,554
They can get away
from their miserable lives
939
00:48:49,555 --> 00:48:51,473
and become someone new.
940
00:48:52,349 --> 00:48:53,559
That's what we get to do.
941
00:48:56,144 --> 00:48:57,144
Yeah.
942
00:48:57,145 --> 00:49:00,064
So I get to be a king.
943
00:49:00,065 --> 00:49:02,525
Yeah. On Christmas Eve, you do.
944
00:49:02,526 --> 00:49:04,694
No way Gladys can be an angel.
945
00:49:04,695 --> 00:49:06,028
Yes, I can!
946
00:49:06,029 --> 00:49:07,447
You can at least try.
947
00:49:08,866 --> 00:49:12,369
Great. And I just get to be
some poor guy married to you.
948
00:49:14,872 --> 00:49:16,122
He's someone important enough
949
00:49:16,123 --> 00:49:17,790
that they wrote about him
in books.
950
00:49:17,791 --> 00:49:21,837
And I get to be
a sweet, pretty...
951
00:49:26,341 --> 00:49:28,259
Then we can get
all the food they got.
952
00:49:28,260 --> 00:49:31,305
Plus, now I got a book licence!
953
00:49:33,682 --> 00:49:34,850
You chokin' over there?
954
00:49:36,476 --> 00:49:37,560
I should go home.
955
00:49:37,561 --> 00:49:39,146
Nobody asked you to stay.
956
00:49:42,316 --> 00:49:43,817
Claude likes his licence.
957
00:49:44,735 --> 00:49:48,238
That was about as close
to a thank you as I'd ever get.
958
00:49:52,409 --> 00:49:54,494
Sorry I'm late.
959
00:49:55,329 --> 00:49:57,079
All right,
let's get into our groups.
960
00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:58,248
Angels, you are...
961
00:50:00,125 --> 00:50:03,128
Oh. Okay, good.
And everyone else...
962
00:50:05,339 --> 00:50:08,425
Well... thank you
for being on time.
963
00:50:09,885 --> 00:50:11,010
Yes, Claude?
964
00:50:11,011 --> 00:50:13,639
- Can we hang Herod?
- No, Claude.
965
00:50:15,390 --> 00:50:17,684
No one's going to die
in this pageant.
966
00:50:20,020 --> 00:50:21,687
We have a lot of work
to do tonight,
967
00:50:21,688 --> 00:50:23,857
- so let's get to it.
- Excuse me.
968
00:50:25,692 --> 00:50:28,570
Why are they still here?
969
00:50:29,196 --> 00:50:31,532
Because they're
in the pageant, Rebecca.
970
00:50:31,990 --> 00:50:33,658
And that's how
it's going to stay.
971
00:50:33,659 --> 00:50:34,825
Oh, really?
972
00:50:34,826 --> 00:50:36,536
And what would you like
me to tell
973
00:50:36,537 --> 00:50:39,539
Mrs Armstrong, Mrs Slocum
and the other mothers?
974
00:50:39,540 --> 00:50:40,748
You can tell them
975
00:50:40,749 --> 00:50:43,669
it's going to be the best
Christmas pageant ever.
976
00:50:44,378 --> 00:50:46,797
I'm gonna make it work
with the Herdmans.
977
00:50:48,090 --> 00:50:49,550
Places, everyone.
978
00:51:01,353 --> 00:51:03,604
Isn't the Angel of the Lord
supposed to say something?
979
00:51:03,605 --> 00:51:04,940
Hey!
980
00:51:06,358 --> 00:51:08,484
Yeah, they were still Herdmans
981
00:51:08,485 --> 00:51:09,819
and some people
982
00:51:09,820 --> 00:51:11,947
were not going to forget that
for a minute.
983
00:51:24,585 --> 00:51:25,711
Go. Go, go.
984
00:51:27,045 --> 00:51:28,671
Get away from the baby!
985
00:51:28,672 --> 00:51:31,716
Imogene, the Wise Men
are here to honour Him
986
00:51:31,717 --> 00:51:33,843
not harm Him, for heaven's sake.
987
00:51:33,844 --> 00:51:36,345
What if we didn't go home
a different way?
988
00:51:36,346 --> 00:51:38,556
What if we tell the king
where the baby was?
989
00:51:38,557 --> 00:51:41,727
- Old Herod would murder him.
- He would not!
990
00:51:42,436 --> 00:51:43,978
I thought about it
later, though,
991
00:51:43,979 --> 00:51:46,189
and I decided
that if Herod, a king,
992
00:51:46,190 --> 00:51:49,525
set out to murder Jesus,
a carpenter's baby son,
993
00:51:49,526 --> 00:51:52,111
and he did know where he was,
he would do it.
994
00:51:52,112 --> 00:51:54,447
So, Leroy gave us something
to think about.
995
00:51:54,448 --> 00:51:55,948
- Stop!
- No Jesus. Ever.
996
00:51:55,949 --> 00:51:57,783
Okay. Let's just take it down
a notch, okay?
997
00:51:57,784 --> 00:51:59,619
Stand up. Stand up.
I can't hear you guys
998
00:51:59,620 --> 00:52:01,037
when you're all talking at once.
999
00:52:01,038 --> 00:52:03,748
Alice clearly didn't think
anything from the Herdmans
1000
00:52:03,749 --> 00:52:05,041
was worth thinking about.
1001
00:52:05,042 --> 00:52:07,168
Is there a way
to make her smile?
1002
00:52:07,169 --> 00:52:08,586
No, she doesn't do that.
1003
00:52:08,587 --> 00:52:10,797
But at least others
seemed to be trying...
1004
00:52:11,423 --> 00:52:13,592
in unexpected ways.
1005
00:52:23,060 --> 00:52:24,895
Okay. Places, everyone!
1006
00:52:27,481 --> 00:52:29,565
Who do I talk to about rewrites?
1007
00:52:29,566 --> 00:52:31,902
I heard about rewrites
in the films.
1008
00:52:37,157 --> 00:52:38,283
Okay, God.
1009
00:52:39,326 --> 00:52:41,245
Now it's getting
even more scary.
1010
00:52:42,538 --> 00:52:44,830
So please do something
to help Mum
1011
00:52:44,831 --> 00:52:46,166
and save the pageant.
1012
00:52:47,209 --> 00:52:48,210
That's all.
1013
00:52:49,253 --> 00:52:50,254
Amen.
1014
00:52:54,216 --> 00:52:55,341
The last rehearsal
1015
00:52:55,342 --> 00:52:58,052
was also the night
before the potluck supper.
1016
00:52:58,053 --> 00:53:00,471
So the whole church
was full of kids and parents
1017
00:53:00,472 --> 00:53:02,515
and the members
of the Potluck Committee.
1018
00:53:02,516 --> 00:53:06,143
Which meant Mrs Slocum had
a chance to do a little spying
1019
00:53:06,144 --> 00:53:08,438
to find something
to disapprove of.
1020
00:53:12,484 --> 00:53:13,944
Hello, Mrs Slocum.
1021
00:53:14,528 --> 00:53:15,737
Hi!
1022
00:53:17,030 --> 00:53:18,322
Sorry about all this.
1023
00:53:18,323 --> 00:53:20,825
It's just, with so much to do
this time of year,
1024
00:53:20,826 --> 00:53:23,160
the Potluck Committee
decided to come in tonight
1025
00:53:23,161 --> 00:53:24,996
to get the food ready.
1026
00:53:24,997 --> 00:53:26,414
I hope we won't bother you.
1027
00:53:26,415 --> 00:53:27,498
You won't.
1028
00:53:27,499 --> 00:53:28,749
We won't even be
near the kitchen.
1029
00:53:28,750 --> 00:53:30,251
You won't even know we're here.
1030
00:53:30,252 --> 00:53:31,669
Mum was wrong.
1031
00:53:31,670 --> 00:53:34,423
Everybody knew we were there
before the evening was over.
1032
00:53:35,382 --> 00:53:39,594
Okay, everybody,
this will be a dress rehearsal.
1033
00:53:39,595 --> 00:53:40,970
Who knows what that means?
1034
00:53:40,971 --> 00:53:42,555
- Costumes.
- Dress-up.
1035
00:53:42,556 --> 00:53:44,974
Yes, for some of you.
1036
00:53:44,975 --> 00:53:47,393
I don't have any kinda costume.
1037
00:53:47,394 --> 00:53:51,022
Just wear your dad's bathrobe.
That's what I always do.
1038
00:53:51,023 --> 00:53:52,607
My dad doesn't have a bathrobe.
1039
00:53:52,608 --> 00:53:54,317
Then what does he wear
around the house?
1040
00:53:54,318 --> 00:53:55,860
His underwear.
1041
00:53:55,861 --> 00:53:56,944
All right.
1042
00:53:56,945 --> 00:53:59,780
That's okay. This year,
because of the anniversary,
1043
00:53:59,781 --> 00:54:02,159
Ladies Aid has helped
with nicer costumes.
1044
00:54:08,165 --> 00:54:09,374
Yeah.
1045
00:54:22,137 --> 00:54:23,639
You can be sweet.
1046
00:54:26,767 --> 00:54:28,060
Hello, Imogene.
1047
00:54:29,144 --> 00:54:31,021
Aren't you supposed to be
in costume?
1048
00:54:31,647 --> 00:54:32,689
I will be.
1049
00:54:33,315 --> 00:54:34,525
- I'm playing Mary.
- Oh.
1050
00:54:35,943 --> 00:54:37,527
I couldn't tell.
1051
00:54:37,528 --> 00:54:40,364
You don't look like any Mary
I've seen before.
1052
00:54:43,534 --> 00:54:46,161
Well, gotta go prepare
the potluck dinner.
1053
00:54:46,912 --> 00:54:49,039
It's for 500 people.
1054
00:54:59,258 --> 00:55:01,217
It makes my eyes glow
in the light.
1055
00:55:01,218 --> 00:55:04,095
Now, the main point
of a dress rehearsal
1056
00:55:04,096 --> 00:55:05,555
isn't costumes.
1057
00:55:05,556 --> 00:55:08,266
It's about getting through
the show without stopping.
1058
00:55:08,267 --> 00:55:09,851
- Got it?
- Got it.
1059
00:55:09,852 --> 00:55:11,102
- Got it.
- Okay.
1060
00:55:11,103 --> 00:55:13,063
I'm gonna sit upstairs
in the audience.
1061
00:55:15,399 --> 00:55:16,482
Take it away!
1062
00:55:16,483 --> 00:55:17,693
Yay!
1063
00:55:18,318 --> 00:55:19,319
Yes.
1064
00:55:22,114 --> 00:55:23,365
Big smiles.
1065
00:55:24,408 --> 00:55:25,784
Hang on to the railing.
1066
00:55:26,994 --> 00:55:28,036
That's good.
1067
00:55:29,121 --> 00:55:32,040
Oh, good grief.
Everyone, it's showtime!
1068
00:55:33,208 --> 00:55:36,127
Imogene. What's wrong?
Where's your costume?
1069
00:55:36,128 --> 00:55:37,629
Where's the baby?
1070
00:55:38,714 --> 00:55:40,548
There is no baby.
We're using a doll.
1071
00:55:40,549 --> 00:55:41,717
Yeah, I know.
1072
00:55:42,259 --> 00:55:44,510
'Cause you couldn't get
a real one 'cause of me.
1073
00:55:44,511 --> 00:55:46,305
- No.
- It was true.
1074
00:55:47,055 --> 00:55:49,307
We had lots of babies
offered in the beginning.
1075
00:55:49,308 --> 00:55:52,561
All the way from Eugene Sloper,
who was a promising option,
1076
00:55:54,229 --> 00:55:57,648
up to Junior Cottle,
who was almost four.
1077
00:55:57,649 --> 00:55:59,525
His father said
he could scrunch up.
1078
00:55:59,526 --> 00:56:01,861
Heard we need a baby.
I can help.
1079
00:56:01,862 --> 00:56:03,905
Really? That's great. Who?
1080
00:56:03,906 --> 00:56:05,364
They've always got
two or three babies
1081
00:56:05,365 --> 00:56:07,241
in carriages at the supermarket.
1082
00:56:07,242 --> 00:56:08,535
I'll just take one.
1083
00:56:09,536 --> 00:56:11,829
Imogene, I hope you're kidding.
1084
00:56:11,830 --> 00:56:14,749
You know you can't just walk off
with someone's baby.
1085
00:56:14,750 --> 00:56:16,709
I doubt Imogene did know that.
1086
00:56:16,710 --> 00:56:18,754
She walked off
with everything else.
1087
00:56:20,923 --> 00:56:23,424
But when all the parents
heard about the Herdmans,
1088
00:56:23,425 --> 00:56:24,843
they withdrew their babies.
1089
00:56:32,559 --> 00:56:34,101
- We had hope.
- Hello?
1090
00:56:34,102 --> 00:56:36,437
Bernice Toole was fostering
a three-month-old.
1091
00:56:36,438 --> 00:56:38,649
No, it doesn't matter
that she's Chinese!
1092
00:56:39,358 --> 00:56:41,817
- Thank you, Bernice!
- Yes!
1093
00:56:41,818 --> 00:56:43,402
But then the baby got adopted
1094
00:56:43,403 --> 00:56:46,405
and Bernice said it was too soon
to ask to borrow a kid back.
1095
00:56:46,406 --> 00:56:48,242
- So, that was that.
- Where is it?
1096
00:56:49,743 --> 00:56:51,661
I think Beth brought it in
from the car.
1097
00:56:51,662 --> 00:56:53,330
Let's go check with her.
1098
00:56:53,914 --> 00:56:55,748
Imogene's brothers
had hidden the doll
1099
00:56:55,749 --> 00:56:58,084
because they didn't think
it looked like Jesus,
1100
00:56:58,085 --> 00:56:59,293
whatever that meant.
1101
00:56:59,294 --> 00:57:01,964
But after a fruitless search,
we had to start.
1102
00:57:03,465 --> 00:57:07,885
- Away in a manger
- O little town of Bethlehem...
1103
00:57:07,886 --> 00:57:10,012
- No crib for a bed...
- How still we see...
1104
00:57:10,013 --> 00:57:11,264
Stop. Stop.
1105
00:57:11,265 --> 00:57:14,643
Back row,
"Away in a manger" comes first.
1106
00:57:16,019 --> 00:57:17,478
I've got the baby.
1107
00:57:17,479 --> 00:57:19,940
Finally. No thanks to you jerks.
1108
00:57:20,566 --> 00:57:23,109
Don't touch him!
It's Baby Jesus.
1109
00:57:23,110 --> 00:57:25,611
Now, Imogene, you're not
supposed to say anything.
1110
00:57:25,612 --> 00:57:28,698
Then, Wise Men, you're supposed
to quietly leave!
1111
00:57:28,699 --> 00:57:32,243
This is important, everyone.
Remember what I said?
1112
00:57:32,244 --> 00:57:35,329
Nobody says anything
in our pageant
1113
00:57:35,330 --> 00:57:37,832
except for the Angel of the Lord
1114
00:57:37,833 --> 00:57:39,500
and of course,
the singing choir.
1115
00:57:39,501 --> 00:57:41,210
Mary, Joseph, and the others
1116
00:57:41,211 --> 00:57:43,921
create a lovely picture
for us to look at
1117
00:57:43,922 --> 00:57:46,507
while we think about Christmas
and what it means.
1118
00:57:46,508 --> 00:57:47,925
What does it mean?
1119
00:57:47,926 --> 00:57:49,468
I'm starting to forget.
1120
00:57:49,469 --> 00:57:51,513
Okay, let's take it from the...
1121
00:57:52,556 --> 00:57:54,974
Imogene, you can't wear earrings
during the performance.
1122
00:57:54,975 --> 00:57:56,726
You know Mary
didn't wear earrings.
1123
00:57:56,727 --> 00:57:59,103
- I have to wear these.
- Why is that?
1124
00:57:59,104 --> 00:58:01,731
I got my ears pierced and I
don't want 'em to grow together.
1125
00:58:01,732 --> 00:58:03,107
They're not gonna grow together
in an hour and a half.
1126
00:58:03,108 --> 00:58:04,984
Well, I'd better leave 'em in.
1127
00:58:04,985 --> 00:58:07,153
- The doctor said that?
- What doctor?
1128
00:58:07,154 --> 00:58:09,489
- Who pierced your ears?
- Gladys.
1129
00:58:12,201 --> 00:58:13,243
All right.
1130
00:58:14,203 --> 00:58:16,579
We'll find a smaller pair
for the pageant.
1131
00:58:16,580 --> 00:58:18,539
Let's take it from the top.
Okay, so...
1132
00:58:18,540 --> 00:58:20,541
I think I ought to tell them
what I named him.
1133
00:58:20,542 --> 00:58:22,835
No. Remember,
Mary doesn't name the baby.
1134
00:58:22,836 --> 00:58:24,421
I told you. I named him!
1135
00:58:24,963 --> 00:58:27,590
No. No!
Joseph doesn't name him either.
1136
00:58:27,591 --> 00:58:31,010
God sends an angel to tell Mary
what his name should be.
1137
00:58:31,011 --> 00:58:32,471
I would've named him Bill.
1138
00:58:33,096 --> 00:58:36,599
Wait, Gladys told Mary
what to name her baby?
1139
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:38,267
No, Gladys is the angel
1140
00:58:38,268 --> 00:58:40,144
that comes to the shepherds
and says,
1141
00:58:40,145 --> 00:58:41,646
"Unto you a child is born."
1142
00:58:41,647 --> 00:58:44,732
Unto me! Not them. Me.
1143
00:58:44,733 --> 00:58:46,734
I'm the one who had the baby.
1144
00:58:46,735 --> 00:58:49,529
It just means
that Jesus is for the world.
1145
00:58:49,530 --> 00:58:54,743
Unto all of us a child is born,
even the poor people, like...
1146
00:58:58,330 --> 00:59:00,831
you know, the shepherds
you're playing.
1147
00:59:00,832 --> 00:59:03,168
Why didn't they let Mary
name her own baby?
1148
00:59:03,710 --> 00:59:06,087
What'd the angel do,
just walk up and say,
1149
00:59:06,088 --> 00:59:07,673
"Name Him 'Jesus'"?
1150
00:59:08,507 --> 00:59:10,258
- Yes.
- That's not right.
1151
00:59:10,259 --> 00:59:11,926
The angel says,
1152
00:59:11,927 --> 00:59:15,471
"His name shall be called
Wonderful, Counsellor...
1153
00:59:15,472 --> 00:59:19,642
"Mighty God, Everlasting Father,
The Prince of Peace."
1154
00:59:19,643 --> 00:59:22,061
My God! He'd never get out
of the first grade
1155
00:59:22,062 --> 00:59:23,897
if he had to write all that.
1156
00:59:26,942 --> 00:59:29,152
I'm so sorry.
1157
00:59:29,778 --> 00:59:32,406
I was passing by
and thought I'd take a peek.
1158
00:59:33,198 --> 00:59:35,617
I'd better check
on that applesauce cake.
1159
00:59:40,789 --> 00:59:43,249
Imogene, I told you not to take
the Lord's name in vain.
1160
00:59:43,250 --> 00:59:45,836
How can you be Mary
if you're offending everyone?
1161
00:59:47,087 --> 00:59:48,880
I think we need to take a break.
1162
00:59:48,881 --> 00:59:51,215
Let's meet back here
in five minutes
1163
00:59:51,216 --> 00:59:52,551
and we'll start over.
1164
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:56,763
I told you
it would be a disaster.
1165
01:00:01,894 --> 01:00:03,853
I just want you to know
I'm happy to take over
1166
01:00:03,854 --> 01:00:05,314
the part of Mary at any time.
1167
01:00:06,607 --> 01:00:08,192
That's good to know, Alice.
1168
01:00:11,153 --> 01:00:12,236
Imogene, can I...
1169
01:00:12,237 --> 01:00:13,404
I'm going to the loo,
1170
01:00:13,405 --> 01:00:15,908
and I'm changing out
of this silly costume.
1171
01:00:24,166 --> 01:00:26,959
There she is. Need anything?
1172
01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:29,838
It's kind of... all wrong.
1173
01:00:31,048 --> 01:00:32,925
Like,
everything's falling apart.
1174
01:00:33,717 --> 01:00:36,427
I'm not sure it was really
together in the first place.
1175
01:00:36,428 --> 01:00:38,430
Can't we just put Alice
in as Mary?
1176
01:00:39,056 --> 01:00:40,723
We can't let
the Herdmans ruin this
1177
01:00:40,724 --> 01:00:42,684
for the church or embarrass you.
1178
01:00:44,311 --> 01:00:46,938
I think Imogene's head
is doing a number on her.
1179
01:00:46,939 --> 01:00:48,898
Just need
to get through this rehearsal.
1180
01:00:48,899 --> 01:00:50,234
We can do this.
1181
01:00:51,568 --> 01:00:52,860
Fire!
1182
01:00:52,861 --> 01:00:54,446
What now?
1183
01:00:56,740 --> 01:00:58,115
Why? Why?
1184
01:00:58,116 --> 01:01:00,410
Thick smoke
coming from the bathroom!
1185
01:01:02,162 --> 01:01:04,580
Okay. Okay. okay. Everyone,
grab each other's hands.
1186
01:01:04,581 --> 01:01:06,290
Grab your neighbour's
hands and...
1187
01:01:06,291 --> 01:01:08,292
All right, Beth,
lead the chain out.
1188
01:01:08,293 --> 01:01:09,961
Everyone, grab your coats.
1189
01:01:09,962 --> 01:01:12,213
Alice? Alice!
1190
01:01:12,214 --> 01:01:13,673
Beth, honey...
1191
01:01:13,674 --> 01:01:15,633
Everyone, come on. Come on.
1192
01:01:15,634 --> 01:01:16,927
Are you okay, dear?
1193
01:01:18,428 --> 01:01:20,263
I smelled smoke
when I walked in.
1194
01:01:20,264 --> 01:01:22,057
You smelled smoke
in the bathroom?
1195
01:01:23,851 --> 01:01:24,935
Go with your dad.
1196
01:01:26,728 --> 01:01:29,647
- Do we know what happened?
- Herdmans happened.
1197
01:01:29,648 --> 01:01:31,232
Come on. Come on, angels.
1198
01:01:31,233 --> 01:01:33,068
- Imogene, are you okay?
- Yep.
1199
01:01:34,570 --> 01:01:37,114
Step aside.
Another Herdman fire.
1200
01:01:37,823 --> 01:01:39,907
- I'm scared.
- I know, dear. I know. I know.
1201
01:01:39,908 --> 01:01:42,118
Herdmans? In church?
1202
01:01:42,119 --> 01:01:44,037
Yep. All of them.
1203
01:01:44,746 --> 01:01:46,414
Lord have mercy on us all.
1204
01:01:46,415 --> 01:01:49,042
What a train wreck.
Nothing but trouble.
1205
01:01:59,261 --> 01:02:01,721
Beth, I want you to go
and find the Herdmans, okay?
1206
01:02:01,722 --> 01:02:03,848
- Okay. All right.
- Okay, go grab 'em.
1207
01:02:03,849 --> 01:02:07,519
Imogene? Imogene?
1208
01:02:15,819 --> 01:02:18,196
And you saw Imogene Herdman
in the bathroom?
1209
01:02:18,197 --> 01:02:19,488
She was there.
1210
01:02:19,489 --> 01:02:21,365
And it's well-known
those kids smoke.
1211
01:02:21,366 --> 01:02:22,950
So that's what happened.
1212
01:02:22,951 --> 01:02:25,244
Mum, I can't find the Herdmans.
1213
01:02:25,245 --> 01:02:27,288
Well, they were just here,
weren't they?
1214
01:02:27,289 --> 01:02:29,582
I looked everywhere.
They're gone.
1215
01:02:29,583 --> 01:02:32,251
And then Dianna sees
Imogene standing there.
1216
01:02:32,252 --> 01:02:34,004
The place is filled with smoke.
1217
01:02:34,922 --> 01:02:38,049
Hello? She smokes.
She started the fire.
1218
01:02:38,050 --> 01:02:39,967
This needs to be the last straw.
1219
01:02:39,968 --> 01:02:42,554
Let's not jump
to conclusions, Rebecca.
1220
01:02:43,180 --> 01:02:44,556
Wouldn't that be refreshing?
1221
01:02:46,350 --> 01:02:48,059
Her Mary did this!
1222
01:02:48,060 --> 01:02:49,977
And a million
other things, Reverend.
1223
01:02:49,978 --> 01:02:51,812
Would you like to hear?
1224
01:02:51,813 --> 01:02:55,150
- What happens now, Mum?
- I honestly don't know.
1225
01:02:55,901 --> 01:02:57,528
Now will they call it off?
1226
01:02:58,987 --> 01:03:00,238
They might try.
1227
01:03:00,239 --> 01:03:04,075
Grace said the Angel of the Lord
is like a comic book hero.
1228
01:03:04,076 --> 01:03:06,160
Is this what I think it is?
A Herdman thing?
1229
01:03:06,161 --> 01:03:08,120
I heard they talk about
underwear the whole time.
1230
01:03:08,121 --> 01:03:10,081
Excuse me. The Herdman children
1231
01:03:10,082 --> 01:03:12,166
don't talk about underwear
during rehearsals.
1232
01:03:12,167 --> 01:03:13,251
That was another boy.
1233
01:03:13,252 --> 01:03:16,963
Alice says they talked about
Jesus being murdered.
1234
01:03:16,964 --> 01:03:18,673
That is in the Bible.
1235
01:03:18,674 --> 01:03:20,550
Well, they really
shouldn't be here.
1236
01:03:20,551 --> 01:03:21,634
- No.
- I agree.
1237
01:03:21,635 --> 01:03:23,261
When there's smoke,
there's fire.
1238
01:03:23,262 --> 01:03:27,224
- As in, literally.
- Okay, okay, everyone. Please.
1239
01:03:29,768 --> 01:03:33,479
You're the one who's been doing
all the work, not them.
1240
01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:36,483
If you can tell me
this will be fine, I trust you.
1241
01:03:38,443 --> 01:03:40,571
I'm sorry,
I can't tell you that.
1242
01:03:41,738 --> 01:03:43,990
Reverend Hopkins,
we found the source.
1243
01:03:43,991 --> 01:03:45,200
Yes, sir?
1244
01:03:46,952 --> 01:03:48,661
My applesauce cake!
1245
01:03:48,662 --> 01:03:51,289
But I saw the smoke
coming from the bathroom.
1246
01:03:51,290 --> 01:03:53,207
That's why I called.
1247
01:03:53,208 --> 01:03:54,959
There was no fire
in the bathroom.
1248
01:03:54,960 --> 01:03:58,005
But while everyone was out here,
the cake burned up.
1249
01:03:58,797 --> 01:04:01,632
Thank you, gentlemen.
Go home, everyone.
1250
01:04:01,633 --> 01:04:03,342
We're done here. Okay?
1251
01:04:03,343 --> 01:04:05,888
That is a wrap
on dress rehearsal.
1252
01:04:08,473 --> 01:04:11,101
Did I say that right?
"It's a wrap"?
1253
01:04:13,020 --> 01:04:14,438
Yeah, you said it right.
1254
01:04:17,024 --> 01:04:18,650
No one even says sorry?
1255
01:04:21,069 --> 01:04:22,196
Let's go home.
1256
01:04:37,211 --> 01:04:38,253
Hi, sweetheart.
1257
01:04:39,379 --> 01:04:40,380
Hey.
1258
01:04:48,430 --> 01:04:50,265
I think you're doing
a great job, Mum.
1259
01:04:52,935 --> 01:04:54,019
Thanks, sweetheart.
1260
01:04:55,354 --> 01:04:57,773
Although I don't think
anyone else agrees with you.
1261
01:05:02,819 --> 01:05:04,112
Probably not.
1262
01:05:07,491 --> 01:05:09,701
I just thought
I could do it somehow.
1263
01:05:10,744 --> 01:05:12,620
And that it could be
the best one ever,
1264
01:05:12,621 --> 01:05:14,248
even with the Herdmans.
1265
01:05:16,124 --> 01:05:18,335
Is it still too late
to replace them?
1266
01:05:18,961 --> 01:05:20,796
I don't think
that'd be right, honey.
1267
01:05:22,506 --> 01:05:24,507
I also don't think it's right
1268
01:05:24,508 --> 01:05:27,135
the way those women talk
about the Herdmans.
1269
01:05:30,389 --> 01:05:31,807
Don't forget.
1270
01:05:34,810 --> 01:05:36,812
The whole point of the story...
1271
01:05:38,647 --> 01:05:41,315
is that Jesus
was born for the Herdmans
1272
01:05:41,316 --> 01:05:43,068
as much as He was for us.
1273
01:05:45,821 --> 01:05:47,655
We'd be missing
the point of all of it
1274
01:05:47,656 --> 01:05:49,282
if I turned them away.
1275
01:05:49,283 --> 01:05:50,993
But what if they ruin it
for you?
1276
01:05:53,412 --> 01:05:54,872
They probably will.
1277
01:05:58,250 --> 01:05:59,585
But it's not about me.
1278
01:06:07,551 --> 01:06:10,053
You're doing a great job, Mum.
1279
01:06:14,016 --> 01:06:16,602
Let's see what happens
tomorrow night first.
1280
01:06:53,680 --> 01:06:55,057
What is it, hon?
1281
01:07:07,736 --> 01:07:08,737
Mum?
1282
01:07:09,446 --> 01:07:11,782
I prayed about it,
and I agree with you.
1283
01:07:13,158 --> 01:07:15,244
You have to stick
with the Herdmans.
1284
01:07:16,537 --> 01:07:17,746
Thanks, honey.
1285
01:07:19,289 --> 01:07:21,874
But I can't get a call through
to the Herdman house.
1286
01:07:21,875 --> 01:07:23,544
Is it disconnected?
1287
01:07:24,294 --> 01:07:25,629
I don't think so.
1288
01:07:26,296 --> 01:07:29,173
I hope they didn't hear what
people were saying about them.
1289
01:07:29,174 --> 01:07:32,094
Wait. Did Imogene quit?
1290
01:07:33,262 --> 01:07:35,222
- I don't know.
- How could she quit?
1291
01:07:35,848 --> 01:07:38,432
- She can't do that to you!
- It'll be all right, Beth.
1292
01:07:38,433 --> 01:07:41,353
Alice knows how to play Mary.
It'll be fine.
1293
01:07:41,979 --> 01:07:45,398
Or, well, you know,
it'll be what it's always been.
1294
01:07:45,399 --> 01:07:47,150
It can't be
what it's always been!
1295
01:07:49,695 --> 01:07:51,113
Beth, where are you going?
1296
01:07:52,406 --> 01:07:53,406
Beth?
1297
01:07:53,407 --> 01:07:55,783
Explain this one to me.
1298
01:07:55,784 --> 01:07:58,077
Before, the only way
for the pageant to work
1299
01:07:58,078 --> 01:07:59,662
was without the Herdmans.
1300
01:07:59,663 --> 01:08:02,373
Now, the only way for it to work
was with them.
1301
01:08:02,374 --> 01:08:05,209
Maybe my mum didn't lead
committees or run a business
1302
01:08:05,210 --> 01:08:07,420
or wear a power dress
while shopping
1303
01:08:07,421 --> 01:08:10,590
but she did the right thing
when no one else would.
1304
01:08:10,591 --> 01:08:12,758
So now, I had to.
1305
01:08:12,759 --> 01:08:17,055
And that meant facing
Imogene Herdman alone.
1306
01:08:40,912 --> 01:08:41,955
Hi, Gladys.
1307
01:08:44,541 --> 01:08:46,376
I need to talk to Imogene.
1308
01:08:50,589 --> 01:08:53,091
Okay, then.
1309
01:08:57,386 --> 01:08:58,638
What do you want?
1310
01:08:58,639 --> 01:08:59,972
After all that riding,
1311
01:08:59,973 --> 01:09:01,933
you'd think I'd have
figured out what to say.
1312
01:09:01,934 --> 01:09:04,143
There were a million things
running through my head.
1313
01:09:04,144 --> 01:09:07,103
But when she opened the door,
all I could get out was...
1314
01:09:07,104 --> 01:09:08,357
Hey.
1315
01:09:09,858 --> 01:09:10,859
Wait!
1316
01:09:12,944 --> 01:09:15,862
- Why'd you leave last night?
- It was cold out.
1317
01:09:15,863 --> 01:09:18,115
They were trying to figure out
what happened.
1318
01:09:18,116 --> 01:09:21,077
Bunch of idiots standin' around,
scratchin' their bums.
1319
01:09:21,078 --> 01:09:23,579
They figured out we did it,
then started lookin'.
1320
01:09:23,580 --> 01:09:24,871
No, no, they burned a cake.
1321
01:09:24,872 --> 01:09:27,250
Doesn't matter what happened.
They knew it was me.
1322
01:09:27,251 --> 01:09:29,836
They think you smoke cigars.
They just assumed...
1323
01:09:29,837 --> 01:09:31,295
Of course they did.
1324
01:09:31,296 --> 01:09:34,840
Well, were you smoking a cigar?
1325
01:09:34,841 --> 01:09:36,092
Yes.
1326
01:09:36,093 --> 01:09:37,636
Oh.
1327
01:09:40,055 --> 01:09:41,597
Well, you shouldn't smoke.
1328
01:09:41,598 --> 01:09:43,809
- Got it. Bye.
- Wait!
1329
01:09:45,018 --> 01:09:47,269
- Are you gonna do the pageant?
- Nope.
1330
01:09:47,270 --> 01:09:48,855
- What?
- I'm not doin' it.
1331
01:09:48,856 --> 01:09:51,190
But I thought you wanted
to be someone else.
1332
01:09:51,191 --> 01:09:52,525
Like in a film.
1333
01:09:52,526 --> 01:09:54,778
Things changed. Bye.
1334
01:09:56,780 --> 01:10:00,283
- Do you mind?
- Yes. I mind. I mind a lot!
1335
01:10:00,284 --> 01:10:04,662
My mother stood up for you.
She fought for you.
1336
01:10:04,663 --> 01:10:07,707
The town practically
hates her for it.
1337
01:10:07,708 --> 01:10:11,586
But she did it anyway.
Because she cares about you.
1338
01:10:11,587 --> 01:10:12,670
What do you care?
1339
01:10:12,671 --> 01:10:15,465
You didn't want me
in the pageant anyway.
1340
01:10:16,008 --> 01:10:17,009
Right?
1341
01:10:17,885 --> 01:10:20,095
- Things changed.
- Really?
1342
01:10:21,680 --> 01:10:23,932
My mum needs you to be Mary.
1343
01:10:25,851 --> 01:10:26,852
Okay?
1344
01:10:27,477 --> 01:10:29,813
Yes, I told her
not to let you do it.
1345
01:10:31,607 --> 01:10:33,150
She gave you a chance.
1346
01:10:34,193 --> 01:10:35,985
People are coming from all over
1347
01:10:35,986 --> 01:10:37,904
and it's too late
to change all the parts
1348
01:10:37,905 --> 01:10:40,489
and hope it's just the same old,
boring pageant...
1349
01:10:40,490 --> 01:10:41,574
I can't do it!
1350
01:10:41,575 --> 01:10:43,492
I'll never be the girl
in the painting.
1351
01:10:43,493 --> 01:10:45,661
But we can't have
a painting on stage.
1352
01:10:45,662 --> 01:10:46,996
We need a real person.
1353
01:10:46,997 --> 01:10:50,958
- Alice will do it.
- Right. "Alice'll do it."
1354
01:10:50,959 --> 01:10:53,002
Everyone loves Mary
1355
01:10:53,003 --> 01:10:55,838
because she's sweet
and she's pretty.
1356
01:10:55,839 --> 01:10:57,299
And I'll never be...
1357
01:11:01,470 --> 01:11:04,973
You don't think you can be sweet
because you're so tough.
1358
01:11:05,766 --> 01:11:07,684
Toughest kid
in the world, right?
1359
01:11:09,228 --> 01:11:13,065
But if you quit the pageant,
you won't be sweet or tough.
1360
01:11:13,941 --> 01:11:16,275
Besides, Mary,
1361
01:11:16,276 --> 01:11:18,195
the real Mary,
1362
01:11:18,904 --> 01:11:21,155
didn't care
what anyone thought of her
1363
01:11:21,156 --> 01:11:24,076
and did the hard thing,
even though it was scary.
1364
01:11:27,704 --> 01:11:29,498
You're kinda
like that, actually.
1365
01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:34,461
Please show up.
1366
01:11:36,421 --> 01:11:37,589
For my mum?
1367
01:11:40,676 --> 01:11:43,011
Even if it's just to make
everyone angry?
1368
01:11:45,138 --> 01:11:49,059
I'm sorry. I'm a Herdman.
I'm just not her.
1369
01:12:01,321 --> 01:12:04,491
At least our candles
will look perfect.
1370
01:12:06,451 --> 01:12:07,870
Well...
1371
01:12:08,912 --> 01:12:09,913
we're here.
1372
01:12:12,124 --> 01:12:14,585
You made it. Be proud of that.
1373
01:12:15,502 --> 01:12:16,503
Right, Beth?
1374
01:12:17,921 --> 01:12:20,299
We've never once
run through the whole thing.
1375
01:12:20,883 --> 01:12:22,884
I don't know
what's gonna happen tonight.
1376
01:12:22,885 --> 01:12:24,135
If the Herdmans show up,
1377
01:12:24,136 --> 01:12:26,137
it might be the first
Christmas pageant in history
1378
01:12:26,138 --> 01:12:28,347
where Joseph and the Wise Men
get in a fight
1379
01:12:28,348 --> 01:12:31,143
and Mary lights a cigar
and hightails it with the baby.
1380
01:12:31,727 --> 01:12:33,687
- Do you mind?
- No.
1381
01:12:36,231 --> 01:12:38,066
- Break a leg.
- Thank you.
1382
01:12:38,817 --> 01:12:40,026
He doesn't mean it.
1383
01:12:40,027 --> 01:12:41,694
It's what they say
in the theatre.
1384
01:12:41,695 --> 01:12:44,198
Mrs Armstrong wrote about it
in her book of notes.
1385
01:12:45,073 --> 01:12:46,949
Hey, look at you.
1386
01:12:46,950 --> 01:12:48,243
Too tight.
1387
01:12:50,037 --> 01:12:52,164
You look great.
You can go backstage.
1388
01:12:56,001 --> 01:12:57,711
Don't think they're coming.
1389
01:13:06,887 --> 01:13:08,096
I think I need Alice.
1390
01:13:11,892 --> 01:13:13,060
Understood.
1391
01:13:14,144 --> 01:13:15,145
Alice?
1392
01:13:18,941 --> 01:13:21,068
You may need to play
Mary tonight.
1393
01:13:43,590 --> 01:13:46,425
- All right, here we go.
- Yeah.
1394
01:13:46,426 --> 01:13:48,302
Shirley's wing poked me.
1395
01:13:48,303 --> 01:13:50,763
It's okay, sweetheart. When
she turns around, just duck.
1396
01:13:50,764 --> 01:13:51,932
Okay.
1397
01:13:58,438 --> 01:14:00,941
Mary and Joseph
are dressed and ready to go.
1398
01:14:02,442 --> 01:14:03,652
That's great, Alice.
1399
01:14:34,933 --> 01:14:36,852
Thank you all for coming.
1400
01:14:42,274 --> 01:14:44,026
For 75 years,
1401
01:14:44,818 --> 01:14:48,822
the pageant
has been an opportunity
1402
01:14:50,782 --> 01:14:54,369
to remind us who Christmas
is supposed to be about.
1403
01:14:56,705 --> 01:14:57,748
This year,
1404
01:14:59,541 --> 01:15:02,336
it's turned out a little
different than we planned.
1405
01:15:02,961 --> 01:15:06,548
Which, I'll admit,
is a first for this pageant.
1406
01:15:12,638 --> 01:15:13,680
Honestly...
1407
01:15:17,100 --> 01:15:20,646
...so much has happened
to get us here...
1408
01:15:22,856 --> 01:15:25,859
...that I don't quite know
what's gonna happen tonight.
1409
01:15:28,779 --> 01:15:30,739
But maybe
that's not a bad thing.
1410
01:15:32,157 --> 01:15:35,077
Because Mary and Joseph
weren't so sure either.
1411
01:15:39,164 --> 01:15:40,541
Thank you for coming.
1412
01:15:42,793 --> 01:15:44,086
And Merry Christmas.
1413
01:15:59,810 --> 01:16:02,479
- Are you okay?
- I have no idea.
1414
01:16:03,730 --> 01:16:04,773
Okay.
1415
01:16:24,209 --> 01:16:27,795
Away in a manger
1416
01:16:27,796 --> 01:16:31,591
No crib for a bed
1417
01:16:31,592 --> 01:16:35,469
The little Lord Jesus
1418
01:16:35,470 --> 01:16:38,806
Laid down His sweet head
1419
01:16:38,807 --> 01:16:40,850
The stars in the bright sky...
1420
01:16:40,851 --> 01:16:42,186
What is she doing?
1421
01:16:42,728 --> 01:16:44,228
Looked down where He lay...
1422
01:16:44,229 --> 01:16:46,105
What's wrong?
1423
01:16:46,106 --> 01:16:49,775
The little Lord Jesus
1424
01:16:49,776 --> 01:16:53,696
Asleep on the hay
1425
01:16:53,697 --> 01:16:57,825
The cattle are lowing
1426
01:16:57,826 --> 01:17:01,162
The Baby awakes
1427
01:17:01,163 --> 01:17:04,875
But little Lord Jesus...
1428
01:17:15,677 --> 01:17:16,845
What is she wearing?
1429
01:17:17,554 --> 01:17:19,096
She brought something from home.
1430
01:17:19,097 --> 01:17:21,098
She said
if she was going to do this,
1431
01:17:21,099 --> 01:17:23,434
she was gonna look
like the real Mary.
1432
01:17:23,435 --> 01:17:25,312
They look like refugees.
1433
01:17:27,523 --> 01:17:28,565
Yeah.
1434
01:17:30,108 --> 01:17:31,276
They do.
1435
01:17:34,571 --> 01:17:37,156
"In the days of Caesar Augustus,
1436
01:17:37,157 --> 01:17:38,783
"a decree went out
1437
01:17:38,784 --> 01:17:41,202
"that all the world
should be taxed
1438
01:17:41,203 --> 01:17:44,623
"and Joseph went to Bethlehem
with Mary, his wife..."
1439
01:17:53,131 --> 01:17:58,135
O little town of Bethlehem
1440
01:17:58,136 --> 01:18:02,974
How still we see thee lie
1441
01:18:02,975 --> 01:18:07,895
Above thy deep
and dreamless sleep
1442
01:18:07,896 --> 01:18:12,692
The silent stars go by
1443
01:18:12,693 --> 01:18:17,154
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
1444
01:18:17,155 --> 01:18:21,409
The everlasting light...
1445
01:18:21,410 --> 01:18:23,035
Why are you burpin' the doll?
1446
01:18:23,036 --> 01:18:25,747
It's how I helped Gladys
when she was a baby.
1447
01:18:27,583 --> 01:18:30,126
Are met in thee tonight...
1448
01:18:30,127 --> 01:18:32,086
I never!
1449
01:18:32,087 --> 01:18:34,797
Burping the Baby Jesus
as if He had colic.
1450
01:18:34,798 --> 01:18:36,883
That certainly
wasn't in the programme.
1451
01:18:36,884 --> 01:18:38,301
Well, I like it.
1452
01:18:38,302 --> 01:18:40,720
You think the Baby Jesus
didn't need to burp?
1453
01:18:40,721 --> 01:18:41,805
He's...
1454
01:18:42,764 --> 01:18:43,764
"And in that region,
1455
01:18:43,765 --> 01:18:45,683
"there were shepherds
in the field,
1456
01:18:45,684 --> 01:18:48,604
"keeping watch
over their flocks by night."
1457
01:18:53,442 --> 01:18:58,279
While shepherds watched
their flocks by night
1458
01:18:58,280 --> 01:19:03,242
All seated on the ground
1459
01:19:03,243 --> 01:19:08,372
The Angel of the Lord came down
1460
01:19:08,373 --> 01:19:13,545
And glory shone around
1461
01:19:14,922 --> 01:19:18,383
"And an Angel of the Lord
appeared to them."
1462
01:19:27,518 --> 01:19:30,687
And an Angel of the Lord
appeared to them.
1463
01:19:38,654 --> 01:19:39,738
Hey!
1464
01:19:42,533 --> 01:19:45,410
Unto you a child is born!
1465
01:19:48,830 --> 01:19:52,417
What are you waiting for?
Go see the baby!
1466
01:20:13,021 --> 01:20:14,189
Hurry up!
1467
01:20:36,378 --> 01:20:40,840
We three kings of orient are
1468
01:20:40,841 --> 01:20:44,595
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
1469
01:20:45,345 --> 01:20:47,763
Field and fountain
1470
01:20:47,764 --> 01:20:49,515
Moor and mountain...
1471
01:20:49,516 --> 01:20:51,434
I knew this would happen.
1472
01:20:51,435 --> 01:20:54,605
They don't have the frankincense
or the myrrh or the gold.
1473
01:20:55,105 --> 01:20:56,731
They brought something different
1474
01:20:56,732 --> 01:20:58,942
and I knew right away
where it came from.
1475
01:21:00,027 --> 01:21:01,987
They probably
don't even like ham.
1476
01:21:02,779 --> 01:21:05,741
Yes, they do. They love ham.
1477
01:21:09,620 --> 01:21:11,163
My ham's in the play.
1478
01:21:14,625 --> 01:21:15,958
"And when Jesus was born,
1479
01:21:15,959 --> 01:21:19,712
"there came Wise Men
from the east to worship Him,
1480
01:21:19,713 --> 01:21:23,926
"bringing gifts of gold
and frankincense and myrrh."
1481
01:21:33,810 --> 01:21:36,896
They're supposed to leave.
They're ruining the whole thing.
1482
01:21:36,897 --> 01:21:38,105
It makes perfect sense
1483
01:21:38,106 --> 01:21:40,316
for the Wise Men
to sit down and rest.
1484
01:21:40,317 --> 01:21:42,109
They came a long way.
1485
01:21:42,110 --> 01:21:44,570
You expect them
to hand over the ham and leave?
1486
01:21:44,571 --> 01:21:46,406
They didn't bring ham!
1487
01:21:51,453 --> 01:21:56,624
What Child is this who
laid to rest
1488
01:21:56,625 --> 01:22:01,462
On Mary's lap, is sleeping?
1489
01:22:01,463 --> 01:22:03,589
Whom angels...
1490
01:22:03,590 --> 01:22:06,300
As for ruining the whole thing,
1491
01:22:06,301 --> 01:22:07,385
it seemed to me
1492
01:22:07,386 --> 01:22:10,848
that the Herdmans had improved
the pageant, a lot.
1493
01:22:12,474 --> 01:22:14,809
Just by doing
what came naturally.
1494
01:22:14,810 --> 01:22:17,395
Like burping the baby,
for instance.
1495
01:22:17,396 --> 01:22:19,856
Or thinking a ham
would make a better present
1496
01:22:19,857 --> 01:22:21,900
than a lot of perfume or oil.
1497
01:22:33,120 --> 01:22:35,746
Usually by the time
we got to Silent Night,
1498
01:22:35,747 --> 01:22:37,707
I was fed up
with the whole thing,
1499
01:22:37,708 --> 01:22:39,710
couldn't wait for it to be over.
1500
01:22:40,752 --> 01:22:43,088
But I didn't feel
that way this time.
1501
01:22:46,466 --> 01:22:49,552
I almost wished
for the pageant to go on
1502
01:22:49,553 --> 01:22:51,053
with the Herdmans in charge,
1503
01:22:51,054 --> 01:22:53,307
just to see what else they'd do.
1504
01:23:32,221 --> 01:23:36,350
I realised I'd never really
seen the Nativity before.
1505
01:23:37,518 --> 01:23:41,605
But Imogene was helping me
see it more clearly than ever.
1506
01:23:53,742 --> 01:23:57,286
Silent night
1507
01:23:57,287 --> 01:24:00,456
Holy night
1508
01:24:00,457 --> 01:24:04,210
All is calm
1509
01:24:04,211 --> 01:24:07,422
All is bright
1510
01:24:08,048 --> 01:24:12,844
Round yon Virgin
Mother and Child...
1511
01:24:12,845 --> 01:24:14,680
And then it happened.
1512
01:24:15,639 --> 01:24:17,765
Everyone had been waiting
all this time
1513
01:24:17,766 --> 01:24:21,435
for the Herdmans to do something
absolutely unexpected.
1514
01:24:21,436 --> 01:24:23,187
And sure enough...
1515
01:24:23,188 --> 01:24:24,273
Look.
1516
01:24:29,361 --> 01:24:30,487
She's crying.
1517
01:24:32,155 --> 01:24:33,574
Mary is crying.
1518
01:24:39,997 --> 01:24:41,539
In that moment...
1519
01:24:41,540 --> 01:24:45,168
Imogene Herdman experienced
the real Christmas story
1520
01:24:45,169 --> 01:24:46,712
for the very first time.
1521
01:24:50,841 --> 01:24:52,885
And so we did, too.
1522
01:26:00,786 --> 01:26:03,956
Lord at thy birth
1523
01:26:08,961 --> 01:26:09,962
Well...
1524
01:26:10,671 --> 01:26:13,841
it was the best
Christmas pageant ever.
1525
01:26:38,115 --> 01:26:39,116
Take a bow.
1526
01:26:41,326 --> 01:26:44,288
Bow. They're clapping for you.
1527
01:27:11,732 --> 01:27:12,941
Thank you.
1528
01:27:47,976 --> 01:27:50,478
Everyone agreed
it was the best ever,
1529
01:27:50,479 --> 01:27:53,190
but nobody seemed to know
why exactly.
1530
01:27:53,815 --> 01:27:55,525
One thing I did know,
1531
01:27:55,526 --> 01:27:56,692
because of my mum
1532
01:27:56,693 --> 01:27:58,986
and her understanding
of the Christmas story,
1533
01:27:58,987 --> 01:28:02,407
the Herdmans finally got
what they needed most all along.
1534
01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:04,409
A community.
1535
01:28:05,035 --> 01:28:07,829
But they gave us something
we needed all along, too.
1536
01:28:08,622 --> 01:28:10,957
For years, I thought about
the wonder of Christmas
1537
01:28:10,958 --> 01:28:14,210
and the mystery of Jesus's birth
and never really understood it.
1538
01:28:14,211 --> 01:28:18,298
But now, it didn't seem
so mysterious after all.
1539
01:28:19,341 --> 01:28:22,009
When Imogene asked me
what the pageant was about,
1540
01:28:22,010 --> 01:28:24,178
I told her it was about Jesus.
1541
01:28:24,179 --> 01:28:26,473
But that was just part of it.
1542
01:28:27,516 --> 01:28:29,100
It was about a new baby
1543
01:28:29,101 --> 01:28:31,310
and His dirt-poor
mother and father
1544
01:28:31,311 --> 01:28:33,145
who were in a lot of trouble.
1545
01:28:33,146 --> 01:28:36,232
No money, no place to go,
no doctor,
1546
01:28:36,233 --> 01:28:38,402
nobody they knew, no respect.
1547
01:28:39,236 --> 01:28:43,407
But they were the ones God chose
to help change the world.
1548
01:28:48,203 --> 01:28:49,538
As for Imogene,
1549
01:28:50,414 --> 01:28:53,625
Christmas seemed
to come over her all at once.
1550
01:29:21,486 --> 01:29:22,738
Thanks for coming back.
1551
01:29:23,655 --> 01:29:24,656
You made me.
1552
01:29:26,700 --> 01:29:28,035
I don't think so.
1553
01:29:30,621 --> 01:29:33,332
Here's your ham. Great prop.
1554
01:29:34,208 --> 01:29:37,544
It wasn't a prop.
It was a gift from the boys.
1555
01:29:42,049 --> 01:29:43,133
And...
1556
01:29:44,092 --> 01:29:45,427
I have something else.
1557
01:29:47,387 --> 01:29:49,389
I figured it was time
to return this.
1558
01:29:58,941 --> 01:30:00,192
Thanks.
1559
01:30:01,610 --> 01:30:05,030
So, now that
the pageant is over,
1560
01:30:06,490 --> 01:30:08,909
you probably don't plan
on coming here again.
1561
01:30:10,202 --> 01:30:12,663
But maybe you could come
next week?
1562
01:30:15,582 --> 01:30:17,167
As long as there's snacks.
1563
01:30:23,549 --> 01:30:25,050
It's exactly right.
1564
01:30:26,093 --> 01:30:27,177
Right?
1565
01:30:28,011 --> 01:30:29,096
What's that?
1566
01:30:30,055 --> 01:30:31,098
The painting.
1567
01:30:32,891 --> 01:30:35,102
What did she mean
"exactly right"?
1568
01:30:35,936 --> 01:30:37,104
I don't know.
1569
01:30:40,732 --> 01:30:46,446
I think Imogene liked the idea
of the Mary in the painting.
1570
01:30:48,323 --> 01:30:49,825
All pure-looking.
1571
01:30:50,659 --> 01:30:52,578
As if she never
did anything else
1572
01:30:53,412 --> 01:30:55,914
except have Jesus
on Christmas Eve.
1573
01:30:58,542 --> 01:31:00,252
Imogene once told me,
1574
01:31:01,253 --> 01:31:03,005
"I'm not her."
1575
01:31:05,507 --> 01:31:06,633
But to me...
1576
01:31:08,635 --> 01:31:11,638
Mary will always
look like Imogene Herdman.
1577
01:31:15,017 --> 01:31:16,226
That's why...
1578
01:31:17,644 --> 01:31:21,106
we still use this blanket
even after all these years.
1579
01:31:27,779 --> 01:31:29,907
So, everyone,
1580
01:31:30,824 --> 01:31:31,991
now that you know
1581
01:31:31,992 --> 01:31:35,204
why the pageant
is so important to us...
1582
01:31:36,330 --> 01:31:40,042
I don't know, would anybody
like to play a part?
1583
01:31:41,502 --> 01:31:44,086
Wow, that is so many hands!
1584
01:31:44,087 --> 01:31:45,213
Thankfully,
1585
01:31:45,214 --> 01:31:49,635
we have a lot of parts
and there are no small parts.
1586
01:31:50,761 --> 01:31:53,471
Okay, so, parents, if you wanna,
1587
01:31:53,472 --> 01:31:56,015
take everybody down
to the sanctuary,
1588
01:31:56,016 --> 01:31:57,558
we'll get everybody sorted.
1589
01:31:57,559 --> 01:31:58,935
We'll assign you roles
1590
01:31:58,936 --> 01:32:01,980
and we will have
our very first rehearsal.
1591
01:32:02,523 --> 01:32:03,857
Okay, get out of here.
1592
01:32:49,945 --> 01:32:51,738
Can I try those?
1593
01:32:59,538 --> 01:33:02,124
Well, those were Gladys' wings.
1594
01:33:02,708 --> 01:33:04,876
She won't let anyone else
wear them.
1595
01:33:04,877 --> 01:33:10,257
But if you run on downstairs,
we'll find you a whole new set.
1596
01:33:27,357 --> 01:33:30,777
"Hey. Unto you a child is born."