♪
Ben: FREUD SAID, "LOVE AND WORK. WORK AND LOVE.
THAT’S ALL THERE IS."
\hWELL, I’M RETIRED, AND MY WIFE IS DEAD.
\h\hAS YOU CAN IMAGINE, THAT’S GIVEN ME SOME TIME ON MY HANDS.
\h\h\h\hMY WIFE’S BEEN GONE FOR THREE AND A HALF YEARS.
I MISS HER IN EVERY WAY. \h\h\h\h\hAND RETIREMENT?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHAT IS AN ONGOING, RELENTLESS EFFORT IN CREATIVITY.
\h\h\h\h\h\hAT FIRST, I ADMIT I ENJOYED THE NOVELTY OF IT.
\h\hSORT OF FELT LIKE I WAS PLAYING HOOKY.
I USED ALL THE MILES I’D SAVED \h\h\h\hAND TRAVELED THE GLOBE.
THE PROBLEM WAS, NO MATTER WHERE I WENT, AS SOON AS I GOT HOME,
\h\h\hTHE NOWHERE-TO-BE THING HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS.
I REALIZED THE KEY TO THIS WHOLE DEAL WAS TO KEEP MOVING.
GET UP, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, \h\h\h\h\h\hAND GO SOMEWHERE.
ANYWHERE.
\h\h\h\h\hCOME RAIN OR SHINE, I’M AT MY STARBUCKS BY 7:15.
\h\h\h\h\hEXCUSE ME, MIND IF WE JOIN YOU?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-NO. -HEY. HOW ARE YOU?
CAN’T EXPLAIN IT, BUT IT MAKES \h\hME FEEL PART OF SOMETHING.
\h\hTHESE GUYS TODAY, THEY’RE NOT NUMBERS GUYS.
DON’T TALK FIGURES \h\h\h\hWITH THEM.
\h\h\hHOW DO I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU NAME IT. GOLF, BOOKS, MOVIES, PINOCHLE.
TRIED YOGA, LEARNED TO COOK,
\h\h\hBOUGHT SOME PLANTS, TOOK CLASSES IN MANDARIN.
\h\h\h\h\h\hXIANG XIN WO, WO SHEN ME DOU SHIGUO LE.
TRANSLATION -- "BELIEVE ME, \h\hI’VE TRIED EVERYTHING."
\hAND THEN, OF COURSE, THERE ARE THE FUNERALS.
\h\h\h\hSO MANY MORE THAN I COULD IMAGINE.
THE ONLY TRAVELING I DO \h\h\h\h\h\hTHESE DAYS
\h\h\h\h\h\hIS OUT TO SAN DIEGO TO VISIT MY SON AND HIS FAMILY.
\h\h\h\hTHEY’RE GREAT. I LOVE THEM TO PIECES.
BUT TO BE HONEST, I THINK I PROBABLY RELIED ON THEM
WAY MORE THAN I SHOULD.
\h\h\h\hDON’T GET ME WRONG, I’M NOT AN UNHAPPY PERSON.
QUITE THE CONTRARY.
\hI JUST KNOW THERE’S A HOLE IN MY LIFE, AND I NEED TO FILL IT.
SOON.
[ HORN HONKS ]
\h\hWHICH BRINGS ME TO TODAY WHEN I WAS LEAVING THE MARKET
\h\h\h\hAND CAUGHT YOUR FLYER OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE.
HMM.
"SENIORS, BE AN INTERN."
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBEN, I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU.
HI.
HEY.
WHAT’D YOU FIND?
\h\h\h\h\hI THINK AN INTERNET PLACE IS LOOKING FOR SENIOR INTERNS.
-AM I READING THIS RIGHT? \h\h\h\h\h\h-LET ME SEE.
\h"APPLICANTS MUST BE OVER 65 YEARS OF AGE...
HAVE ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS, A GENUINE INTEREST IN E-COMMERCE,"
WHATEVER THAT IS...
"...AND A ROLL-UP-YOUR-SLEEVES ATTITUDE."
AboutTheFit.com, ISN’T THAT \h\h\h\h\hTHE OUTFIT THAT WAS...
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
THEY BOUGHT ONE OF THOSE OLD FACTORIES IN RED HOOK.
MY DAUGHTER SAYS THEY SELL CLOTHES ON THE INTERNET.
HOW THAT WORKS, I HAVE NO IDEA.
\h\h\h\h\hWELL, YOU HAVE TO UPLOAD THE APPLICATION.
THAT COULD BE CHALLENGING. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLISTEN TO THIS --
\h\h\h\h"COVER LETTERS ARE SO OLD-FASHIONED.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSHOW US WHO YOU ARE WITH A COVER-LETTER VIDEO.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hUPLOAD YOUR VIDEO TO YouTube OR VIMEO USING
\h\h.MOV, .AVI, OR A .MPG FILE.
WE LOOK FORWARD TO \h\h\hMEETING YOU."
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWELL, I GUESS THAT’S MEETING ME.
I SWEAR I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT LANGUAGE THAT WAS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT, BEN?
-A FROZEN LASAGNA? \h\h\h\h\h-WELL...
I COULD MAKE A LITTLE SALAD, TURN IT INTO A DINNER FOR TWO,
LIKE WE DID THAT TIME AND NEVER DID AGAIN.
\h\hYOU KNOW THAT WAS OVER FIVE MONTHS AGO?
OH, YEAH. NO, NO, WE GOT TO \h\h\hDO THAT AGAIN, FOR SURE,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBUT OKAY IF WE TAKE A RAIN CHECK?
YOU’RE AWFUL CUTE, \h\hYOU KNOW THAT?
\h\h\h\h\h\h-NO, I DIDN’T. -WELL, IT’S TRUE, YOU ARE.
SO I’LL SEE YOU.
DON’T TAKE TOO LONG, DOLL.
\h\h\h\h\hYOU’RE NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER.
-I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h-ALL RIGHT.
[ CLOCK TICKING ]
SO HERE I AM, APPLYING TO BE \h\h\h\h\hONE OF YOUR INTERNS
\h\h\h\hBECAUSE THE MORE I THINK ABOUT THIS IDEA,
THE MORE TREMENDOUS \h\hI THINK IT IS.
\hI LOVE THE IDEA OF HAVING A PLACE I CAN GO EVERY DAY.
I WANT THE CONNECTION, \h\h\h\hTHE EXCITEMENT.
I WANT TO BE CHALLENGED,
AND I GUESS I MIGHT EVEN \h\h\hWANT TO BE NEEDED.
\h\hTHE TECH STUFF MIGHT TAKE A BIT TO FIGURE OUT.
\h\h\h\h\hI HAD TO CALL MY 9-YEAR-OLD GRANDSON
\h\h\h\hJUST TO FIND OUT WHAT A USB CONNECTOR WAS.
BUT I’LL GET THERE. \h\hEAGER TO LEARN.
\hALSO, I WANT YOU TO KNOW I’VE BEEN A COMPANY MAN ALL MY LIFE.
I’M LOYAL, I’M TRUSTWORTHY, \hAND I’M GOOD IN A CRISIS.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND I LOVE THAT YOU’RE RIGHT HERE IN BROOKLYN.
I’VE LIVED HERE ALL MY LIFE, \h\h\h\h\h\hAND LATELY I FEEL
I MAY NOT BE HIP ENOUGH \hTO LIVE IN BROOKLYN,
SO THIS COULD HELP WITH THAT, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTOO.
\h\h\h\h\hI READ ONCE, MUSICIANS DON’T RETIRE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHEY STOP WHEN THERE’S NO MORE MUSIC IN THEM.
WELL, I STILL HAVE MUSIC IN ME, ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE ABOUT THAT.
[ KENDRICK LAMAR’S "I" PLAYS ]
♪ THIS IS A WORLD PREMIERE ♪
♪ AS I LOOK AROUND ME ♪
\h♪ SO MANY, MANY WANT TO DOWN ME ♪
♪ BUT AIN’T NO... NEVER DROWN ME ♪
\h\h\h\h♪ IN FRONT OF A DIRTY DOUBLE-MIRROR THEY FOUND ME ♪
♪ AND I LOVE MYSELF ♪
\h\h\h♪ THE WORLD IS A GHETTO WITH GUNS AND PICKET SIGNS ♪
♪ I LOVE MYSELF ♪
♪ BUT THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT WHENEVER THEY WANT ♪
♪ I DON’T MIND ♪ ♪ I LOVE MYSELF ♪
♪ HE SAID I GOT TO GET UP ♪
♪ LIFE IS MORE THAN SUICIDE ♪
♪ I LOVE MYSELF ♪
♪ ONE DAY AT A TIME ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hGOOD NEWS, I FOUND A SIZE EIGHT IN NAVY.
NO, YOU ARE RIGHT. THAT PACKAGE SHOULD HAVE ARRIVED BY NOW.
\h\h\h\h\h\hLET ME TRACK THAT FOR YOU.
YEP, THESE PANTS ARE AWESOME \h\h\h\h\h\hIF YOU HAVE HIPS.
SUPER SLIMMING.
\h\hOKAY, LET ME JUST REVIEW THIS WITH YOU --
YOU HAVE SIX BRIDESMAIDS. \h\h\h\h\hYOU ORDERED SIX
\h\h\h\hOF THE SILK CHIFFON ANTOINETTE DRESSES IN PINK.
\h\h\hTHE WEDDING IS IN THREE DAYS,
AND THE DRESSES JUST ARRIVED \h\h\h\hALL IN CHARCOAL GRAY.
\h\h\hWHICH WE DON’T EVEN SELL, SO THAT IS A BIT OF A MYSTERY.
\h\h\h\h\hOKAY, HERE’S WHAT WE’RE GONNA DO ABOUT THIS.
I AM GONNA CALL THE VENDOR AND HAVE THIS FIXED TODAY.
\h\h\h\hI WILL PERSONALLY SEE THE DRESSES BEFORE THEY ARE FedExed.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND I PROMISE YOU THEY WILL BE AT YOUR FRONT DOOR
BY 9:00 A.M. FRIDAY, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY?
YOU KNOW WHAT, LET ME GIVE YOU \h\h\hMY CELL, JUST IN CASE --
718-555-0199.
OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH \hFOR YOUR PATIENCE.
AND I AM GONNA REFUND YOU BACK \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hALL YOUR MONEY.
IT’S THE--
YES. N--
OKAY, HEY, YOU CHECK THIS ONE \h\h\h\hOFF YOUR LIST, OKAY?
THIS IS DONE.
\h\h\h\hAND, RACHEL, HAVE A GREAT WEDDING.
\h\h\h\h\hOH, MY GOD, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
Becky: JULES?
\h\h\hI KNOW, I KNOW, I’M LATE FOR SOMETHING.
YEAH, EVERYTHING.
\hYOU SEE WHY I TAKE CUSTOMER-SERVICE CALLS?
I MEAN, IT’S SO GOOD. YOU LEARN SO MUCH.
OKAY, WHAT’S UP? WHAT AM I DOING?
OKAY, CAMERON WAS WAITING FOR \hYOU BUT HAD ANOTHER MEETING.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHE SAID HE’LL BE BACK AT 2:00.
\h\hEVERYONE NEEDS YOU TO SIGN OFF \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hON TOMORROW’S HOMEPAGE. RIGHT.
\h\hAND YOUR 11:00 IS IN THE BIG CONFERENCE ROOM.
\hSO IS YOUR 11:10. FINANCE NEEDS YOU,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND I GUESS YOU E-MAILED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE
\h\hAT 4:00 A.M. ABOUT SOMETHING?
\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, GOOD, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.
I WANT TO FIGURE OUT A WAY FOR FRIENDS TO SHOP TOGETHER ONLINE.
MAKE IT LESS OF AN ALONE THING.
E-MAIL ME THAT IDEA, WILL YOU? \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYEAH, I LIKE THAT.
UM, IS NOW A GOOD TIME TO CALL YOUR MOM BACK?
DUDE, I’M ON A BIKE.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
COME ON.
OH.
OH, WHAT A MESS. THIS IS THE MIDDLE OF THE OFFICE.
DON’T -- DON’T -- DON’T PUT THAT...
[ SIGHS ] \h\h[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
\h\h\h♪ BECAUSE YOU KNOW I’M ALL ABOUT THAT BASS ♪
♪ ’BOUT THAT BASS, NO TREBLE ♪
♪ I’M ALL ABOUT THAT BASS ♪
-HELLO. \h-HI.
I’M BEN WHITTAKER.
I RECEIVED AN E-MAIL ABOUT AN INTERVIEW
FOR THE SENIOR INTERN PROGRAM.
\h\h\hHEY, BEN. HOW’S IT GOING?
IT’S GOING GOOD, REAL GOOD. THANK YOU.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hEXCELLENT. TAKE A SEAT AROUND THE CORNER,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND SOMEONE FROM TALENT ACQUISITION WILL COME GET YOU.
THANK YOU.
"TALENT ACQUISITION"?
♪ I’M ALL ABOUT THAT BASS ♪
♪ ’BOUT THAT BASS, NO TREBLE ♪
♪ I’M ALL ABOUT THAT BASS, \h\h\h\h\h’BOUT THAT BASS ♪
[ SONG ENDS ]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY, YOU GUYS HAVE TO REMEMBER,
\h\h\h\h\h\hTHE HOMEPAGE HAS TO READ IN A GLANCE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h-RIGHT. -ALSO, YOU HAVE TO GET BACK LIKE THIS
\hIF YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT LOOKS LIKE IF YOU’RE, LIKE, OVER 35.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY, SO I CAN’T READ ANYTHING,
\h\h\h\h\h\hBUT IF I COULD, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SEE?
"FIVE GIRLS, ONE SHIRT" OR "CHECK OUT THE FIT"?
\h\h\hWELL, BOTH, BUT WHAT I REALLY WANT YOU TO SEE
IS THE SHIRT WORN BY FIVE DIFFERENT BODY TYPES.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY, THEN YOU GOT TO MAKE ME SEE THAT.
TRY MAKING THE PHOTO GRID \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBIGGER.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI LOVE THAT FIVE. CAN WE MAKE IT MORE GRAPHIC?
YEAH, THAT’S COOL.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMAYBE HERO THE GIRL IN THE RED SHIRT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h-JULES... -THAT IS A GREAT RED.
\hIT IS GOING TO FLY OUT OF HERE.
I NEEDED YOU TO SIGN OFF ON THIS, LIKE, TWO HOURS AGO.
\hI KNOW, I KNOW, BUT CAN YOU TRY?
YEP.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMIA? TELL ME THAT THING AGAIN.
OH, 40% OF OUR VISITORS DON’T GO PAST THE HOMEPAGE.
WHICH ISN’T SO BAD.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYEAH, BUT WE SHOULD FIX THAT.
OKAY, HERE YOU GO.
I LOVE IT.
GREAT, AND IT’S UP.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY. THANKS, EVERYBODY.
\h-THANKS. -THANK YOU.
Employee: LET’S GO OVER \h\hTHE PITCH FOR FRIDAY.
OKAY, SO...
THE ANTOINETTE DRESS.
MAJOR SCREW-UP BY THE VENDOR.
THERE’S GONNA BE A COUPLE OF \h\h\h\h\h\hINTERVIEWS TODAY, BEN.
\h\hWE WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT WE BOTH FIND THE RIGHT FIT.
\h\h\h\h\h\hBUSINESS AS USUAL IS NOT REALLY OUR MOTTO,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSO WE HOPE YOU HAVE SOME FUN HERE.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE’RE \h\h\h\h\h\hHIRING SENIOR INTERNS,
\h\h\h\h\hSO SOME OF OUR INTERN QUESTIONS
MAY NOT EXACTLY FIT \h\h\hYOUR PROFILE,
BUT WE’RE GONNA GO FOR IT \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hANYWAY, OKAY?
FIRE AWAY.
OKAY, GOOD.
WHERE’D YOU GO TO SCHOOL?
I WENT TO NORTHWESTERN.
\h\h\h\hHEY, MY BROTHER WENT TO NORTHWESTERN.
\h\hPROBABLY NOT AT THE SAME TIME.
\h\h\h\h\hPROBABLY NOT. HE GRADUATED IN 2009.
CLASS OF ’65. [ CHUCKLES ]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWOW, WHAT WAS YOUR MAJOR?
DO YOU REMEMBER?
AND AFTER NORTHWESTERN YOU WENT ON TO...?
I WENT TO WORK \hFOR DEX ONE.
OKAY, AND THEY MADE...? PHONEBOOKS.
I WAS IN CHARGE OF \h\h\h\hOVERSEEING
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHE PRINTING OF THE PHYSICAL PHONEBOOK.
I DID THAT FOR OVER 20 YEARS, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND BEFORE THAT,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI WAS THEIR V.P. OF SALES AND ADVERTISING.
SO, DO THEY STILL MAKE PHONEBOOKS?
I MEAN, DOESN’T EVERYONE JUST GOOGLE NUMBERS?
I BELIEVE THEY DO, BUT BEFORE GOOGLE THAT WAS HOW YOU GOT A NUMBER.
\h\h\h\h\hOH, NO, NO. YEAH, I -- I GET IT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSO 40 YEARS AT THE PHONEBOOK COMPANY?
THAT IS AMAZING, \h\h\hSERIOUSLY.
OKAY, BENJAMIN.
NOW, I’M GONNA ASK YOU ONE OF OUR MORE TELLING QUESTIONS
FOR ALL OF OUR INTERNS, SO I WANT YOU TO, LIKE,
\h\h\hTHIS IS THE ONE TO REALLY THINK ABOUT, OKAY?
\h\h\h\h\h\hAND -- AND TAKE YOUR TIME.
WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 10 YEARS?
WHEN I’M 80?
YEAH, SURE.
YEAH, WHATEVER.
UM...
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWAIT. DID NOT REALIZE YOU WERE 70.
THAT’S, UH -- THAT QUESTION JUST DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU, DOES IT?
SHOULD WE JUST SCRATCH THAT ONE AND JUST MOVE ON?
-IT’S YOUR CALL, JUSTIN. \h-OKAY, THAT ONE’S GONE.
YOU LOOK GREAT, BY THE WAY. SO GREAT.
AND YOU’RE CLEARLY MORE THAN QUALIFIED FOR THIS JOB.
YOU’RE ACTUALLY, LIKE, WAY OVERQUALIFIED,
AND WE WERE SO IMPRESSED.
YOU HAD GREAT INTERVIEWS, GREAT VIDEO.
YOU NAILED IT, BEN. \h\h\h\h\hCONGRATS.
YOU’RE AN INTERN.
-HEY. -HI.
I NEED YOU FOR TWO MINUTES, UNINTERRUPTED.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-OKAY. -REMEMBER A FEW WEEKS AGO,
\h\h\hWE TALKED ABOUT THE SENIOR INTERN PROGRAM?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-NO. -REALLY? WE HAD A --
WE HAD A WHOLE, BIG CONVERSATION ABOUT IT.
\h\h\h\h\hWE DID? OKAY, REMIND ME.
SENIORS IN HIGH SCHOOL \h\h\h\h\h\h\hOR COLLEGE?
NO, NO, NO, NO.
SENIORS IN LIFE. \h\hOLDER PEOPLE.
HOLD ON, WHAT?
I TOLD YOU I FELT LIKE WE NEEDED TO DO AN OUTREACH PROGRAM.
YOU DEFINITELY SEEMED TO BE LIKING THE IDEA,
SO I SET IT IN MOTION. IT’S GONNA BE GREAT.
HOLD, PLEASE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU’RE HIRING SENIOR CITIZEN INTERNS?
\h\h\h\hTHERE’S BEEN A TON OF RESEARCH ON THIS,
\h\h\hAND THE RESULTS ARE ACTUALLY INCREDIBLE.
I MEAN, IMAGINE HAVING AN INTERN WITH A LIFETIME OF EXPERIENCE,
\h\h\hAS OPPOSED TO SOMEBODY WHO SPENT
THE LAST FOUR YEARS OF THEIR LIFE PLAYING BEER PONG.
DO THEY EVENTUALLY \h\hWANT JOBS HERE?
\h\h\h\hNO, DARLING, THEY’RE ALL RETIRED.
THEY -- THEY JUST WANT THE EXPERIENCE.
AND I WOULD LIKE ONE TO WORK DIRECTLY WITH YOU.
WAIT, CAMERON, NO.
\h\h\h\hFIRST OF ALL, I’M NOT GREAT WITH OLDER PEOPLE.
YOU KNOW HOW I AM WITH MY PARENTS.
THIS COULD BE...
\h\h\h\hWHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE ONE?
BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO \h\h\hSET THE TONE.
NOW, WOULD YOU PREFER \h\h\hA MAN OR A WOMAN?
\h\h\hTHERE’S A GREAT 72-YEAR-OLD WOMAN, REALLY CUTE.
THAT’S LIKE THE SAME AGE \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAS MY MOM.
-THAT’S TOO WEIRD. \h\h\h-THAT’S FINE.
THERE’S A MAN EVERYONE LOVES. HE SEEMS AMAZING.
\h\hI WATCHED HIS VIDEO WITH THE WHOLE GROUP.
PEOPLE WERE CRYING.
OKAY, THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK, IN MY OPINION.
\h\h\h\hBUT HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO DO THIS FOR?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-MINIMUM? -SIX WEEKS OR WE’LL BE SUED.
\h\hI KNOW WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT THIS.
YEAH, WE DID. \h\hFOR REAL.
HE STARTS TOMORROW.
♪
[ CLOCK TICKING ]
MM.
BACK IN ACTION.
THANK GOD.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJason: NEW INTERNS, WELCOME TO ATF.
WE ALL WORK ON THIS ONE FLOOR, \h\h\h\h\h\hAND THAT IS BECAUSE
\h\h\h\h\hWE ARE ALL ABOUT COMMUNICATION AND TEAMWORK.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNO ONE HAS A PRIVATE OFFICE,
NOT EVEN OUR FOUNDER AND CEO, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJULES OSTIN,
\hWHO IS ACTUALLY RIGHT OVER THERE.
SHE LOVES TO RIDE HER BIKE \h\h\h\hTHROUGH THE OFFICE.
THAT WOMAN DOES NOT LIKE TO WASTE TIME.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hPLUS, SHE COUNTS IT AS EXERCISE.
THAT’S ADORABLE.
\hYEAH. MM-HMM.
HEY. HOW YOU DOING? \h\h\h\hI’M DAVIS.
\h\hHI, DAVIS. BEN WHITTAKER.
-EXCITING PLACE, HUH? \h\h\h\h-OH, MY GOD.
\h\h\h\h\hTHEY HAD ONE OPENING FOR A REGULAR-AGE INTERN, NO OFFENSE.
\h\h\hI GOT IT. I’M SO PSYCHED.
I’M PRETTY PSYCHED \h\h\h\h\h\hMYSELF.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hALL RIGHT, A FEW WORDS ABOUT JULES.
SHE STARTED ABOUT THE FIT \h\h\hONLY 18 MONTHS AGO.
THIS WHOLE IDEA WAS HATCHED \h\hAT JULES’ KITCHEN TABLE
RIGHT HERE IN BROOKLYN.
JULES TRIED EVERYTHING ON \h\h\h\h\hTHAT SHE SOLD,
DESCRIBED THE FIT HERSELF,
AND APPARENTLY IT WORKED.
SHE WAS ONLINE IN FOUR MONTHS.
SHE STARTED WITH 25 EMPLOYEES.
SHE’S NOW UP TO 216.
WITH YOU 4, 220.
WOW.
HEY, BEN, ARE YOU GONNA \hWEAR A SUIT EVERY DAY?
\h-YOU BET. -CONFIDENT.
I LIKE HOW YOU ROLL.
I LIKE IT A LOT.
[ BELL DINGING ]
\h\hWE JUST HIT A RECORD HIGH OF 2,500 LIKES ON INSTAGRAM.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYEAH! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AND THAT’S WHAT WE DO
\hWHEN SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS AROUND HERE.
NEW INTERNS, GRAB A SEAT
AT ONE OF THE INTERN TABLES \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOVER THERE.
CHECK YOUR E-MAIL. YOU MAY FIND \h\h\hTHAT YOU’VE BEEN ASSIGNED
TO ONE PARTICULAR PERSON \hOR ONE PARTICULAR TEAM.
OR YOU MIGHT JUST BE \h\h\h\h\hA FLOATER.
IT’S ALL GOOD.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY, LET ME INSTAGRAM THIS.
MOMENT IN TIME.
GRAY IS THE NEW GREEN.
TAKE A SEAT.
♪
THANKS.
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]
GOT ONE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"WELCOME BEN! YOUR INTERNSHIP WILL BE
DIRECTLY WITH OUR FOUNDER, \h\h\h\h\h\hJULES OSTIN."
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, I’M IN THE PHOTO STUDIO.
FLOATER. \h\hLOVE!
\h\h\hHEY, BEN, WHAT’D YOU GET?
LOOKS LIKE I’M GONNA BE A PERSONAL INTERN.
NICE. TO?
JULES OSTIN.
UNFORTUNATE.
HANG IN THERE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"HI BEN, I HAVE SECURED AN APPOINTMENT
\h\h\h\h\hFOR YOU TO MEET WITH JULES OSTIN TODAY AT 3:55 P.M.
PLEASE BE PROMPT AS JULES HAS ANOTHER MEETING AT 4:00 P.M."
HMM.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hALL RIGHT, I’M GOING TO MERCHANDISING.
BEAUTIFUL.
IT’S PERFECT.
\h\h\hYES, I’LL TRY TO HAVE HER THERE AT 5:00.
UM, NO, WAIT.
I BOOKED HER WITH A VENDOR \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAT 5:15.
I’M SORRY.
I’LL CALL YOU BACK.
YES, HELLO?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHI. I’M BEN WHITTAKER.
I HAVE A 3:55 APPOINTMENT \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWITH MS. OSTIN.
3:55?
I THOUGHT SHE WAS MEETING WITH HER NEW INTERN.
THAT’S ME.
HOW YOU DOING?
\h\h\hI’M SORRY, UH, HOW ARE YOU AN INTERN?
\h\h\h\hW-- IT’S THE NEW SENIOR INTERN PROGRAM.
IT JUST STARTED TODAY.
OH, MY GOD.
UM...
How old are you?
70. YOU?
I’M 24.
I KNOW, I LOOK OLDER.
IT’S THE JOB. IT AGES YOU.
WHICH WON’T BE GREAT IN YOUR CASE.
SORRY.
I ACTUALLY THOUGHT YOU LOOKED YOUNGER.
YEAH, RIGHT.
\h\h\hANY TIPS BEFORE I GO IN?
\h\h\hJUST TALK FAST. SHE HATES SLOW TALKERS.
MAYBE THAT’S JUST WHEN I TALK SLOW.
DON’T DAWDLE IN ANY WAY. JUST KEEP IT MOVING.
AND DON’T FORGET \h\h\h\hTO BLINK.
-BLINK? -YEAH.
SHE HATES WHEN PEOPLE DON’T BLINK. IT WEIRDS HER OUT.
\h\h\hBUT IT’S 3:57. THIS MEETING THAT SHE’S IN
JUST TOOK UP LIKE TWO OF YOUR F-- THEY’RE OUT. GO, GO, GO.
-OKAY, THANKS. \h\h-GO. YEAH.
WHAT?
OH, YEAH, I’M HERE.
HI, JULES?
\h\h\h\hI’M BEN, YOUR NEW INTERN.
\h\hI’M GLAD YOU ALSO SEE THE HUMOR IN THIS.
BE HARD NOT TO.
SO, BEN...
\h\h\hI WAS GONNA SAY WHAT IS A NICE GUY LIKE YOU
\h\h\h\h\hDOING AT A PLACE LIKE THIS?
\h\h\h\hBUT CAMERON GAVE ME THE DRILL,
\h\h\hSO CAN I JUST BE HONEST WITH YOU?
PLEASE.
\hI’M NOT GONNA HAVE A LOT FOR YOU TO DO.
THAT’S THE TRUTH.
AND YOU BEING ASSIGNED TO ME IS KIND OF JUST
FOR ME TO SET AN EXAMPLE FOR THE REST OF THE TEAM.
IF YOU ASK ME, I THINK THAT YOU’D BE MUCH BETTER OFF
WORKING IN CREATIVE \h\h\hOR MARKETING.
IT’S A LITTLE BIT \h\hSLOWER PACE,
MAYBE A LITTLE BIT \hEASIER TO GRASP.
IF YOU REQUESTED TO TRANSFER, WE CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
\h\h\h\h\hIF THAT’S WHAT YOU’D PREFER.
YOU’LL BE HAPPIER, BELIEVE ME. I AM NOT SO FUN TO WORK FOR.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHAT’S WHAT I GATHER, BUT I CAN GET ALONG WITH ANYONE,
\h\h\h\h\h\hAND I’M HERE TO LEARN ABOUT YOUR WORLD,
GIVE HELP WHERE I CAN, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSO...
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSO, YOU DON’T WANT TO TRANSFER?
NOT REALLY, SIR.
I’M TERRIBLY SORRY.
EXCUSE ME.
OKAY.
WELL, THEN, LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME.
GREAT, I’M EXCITED.
I WILL E-MAIL YOU WHEN I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TO DO.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOR I COULD JUST STOP BY A FEW TIMES A DAY, CHECK IN...?
I’LL E-MAIL YOU.
ALSO, DON’T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO DRESS UP.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI MEAN, WE’RE SUPER CAS HERE.
WELL, I’M COMFORTABLE IN A SUIT, IF IT’S OKAY.
NO, IT’S FINE.
OLD SCHOOL.
EXACTLY.
\h\h\hAT LEAST I’LL STAND OUT.
I DON’T THINK YOU NEED A SUIT TO DO THAT.
TRUE.
\h\hWELL, I THINK WE DID IT IN LESS THAN TWO MINUTES.
\hI’LL WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU.
OKAY.
\hWANT THE DOOR OPEN OR CLOSED?
DOESN’T MATTER.
OPEN, ACTUALLY.
YOU’LL GET USED TO ME.
LOOK FORWARD TO IT.
♪
HI.
HOWDY.
WHAT DO YOU NEED?
[ CHUCKLES ]
NO.
WHAT’S UP, BEN? \hARE YOU GOOD?
PERFECT.
OKAY.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
THE V-NECK BACK TEE?
THIS IS HOLLY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCAN YOU RUN THAT UP TO THEM?
YEAH, NO, NO, WE LOVE THE WHOLE LINE, MARK.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLewis: OKAY, SO YOU CAN ZOOM OUT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-LIKE THAT. -I’M GOING TO A MEETING.
I’LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR. \h\h\h\hWE’LL TALK THEN?
AND THEN YOU CAN JUST CLICK HERE TO BUY IT.
COOL, YEAH.
♪
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
HELLO?
HI, YEAH.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU STAYING?
\h\h\h\h\hCAN’T LEAVE BEFORE THE BOSS LEAVES, DAVIS.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLOOKS LIKE YOU’RE GONNA BE HERE A WHILE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hALL RIGHT. SEE YOU IN THE MORNING, BEN.
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
YOU, TOO.
[ ALARM BEEPING, RINGING ]
LET’S MAKE IT HAPPEN.
THANKS.
HOW ABOUT I PUSH, \h\hYOU DELIVER?
THANK YOU.
I LIKE THAT THERE’S FOUR FAVES \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hINSTEAD OF THREE,
BUT CAN I SEE THE ONE WITHOUT THE JACKET JUST TO...
SURE.
HI.
OKAY, SO THEY WANT TO KNOW
WHAT CUSTOMERS BOUGHT WHO DIDN’T COME BACK
SO THEY CAN SPOT A PROBLEM IF THERE IS ONE, RIGHT?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYEAH, BUT I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW TO--
ALL RIGHT, WELL, HERE’S WHAT I THINK WE SHOULD DO.
\h\h\h\h\h-BEN! -WE SHOULD GO--
BEN! HEY, LOOK. HERE SHE COMES.
\h\h\h\hWATCH HOW SHE WON’T EVEN--
HEY, BECK. WHAT’S UP?
\h\h\h\hYOU LOOK REALLY NICE TO--
HOW LONG CAN A WOMAN \hBE MAD AT YOU FOR?
\h\hWELL, IT KIND OF DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU DID.
WELL, FIRST OF ALL, NOTHING ON PURPOSE.
WE WERE GOING OUT \h\hFOR A MINUTE.
I THOUGHT SHE WAS COOL. \h\h\h\hI REALLY LIKED HER.
BUT THEN I SORT OF \h\hACCIDENTALLY...
-SLEPT WITH HER ROOMMATE. \h\h\h-THAT DOESN’T HELP.
\h\h\h\h\hI DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS HER ROOMMATE.
\h\h\h\h\hI MET HER OUT. HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT?
\h-HEY, NIKKI. -BEN, TELL ME.
I DON’T KNOW THIS STUFF.
YOU’RE OLDER.
YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH \h\h\h\h\h\hA LOT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI MEAN, YOU -- I MEAN, YOU HAVE A LOT OF EXPERIENCE.
\h\h\hHOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE’LL BE MAD AT ME FOR?
JAY, I HAVE ZERO EXPERIENCE \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWITH WOMEN,
\hAND I CAN TELL YOU, THERE’S NO COMING BACK FROM THAT ONE.
\h\hI MEAN, I ASSUME YOU TALKED TO HER, APOLOGIZED,
\h\h\h\h\h\hTOLD HER HOW MUCH SHE MEANS TO YOU.
WELL, YOU KNOW...
YOU DIDN’T TALK TO HER?
WHAT DID YOU DO, SEND HER A TWEET?
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
I, LIKE, TEXTED HER \hA BILLION TIMES.
\h\h\h\hSHE DIDN’T ANSWER, SO THEN I E-MAILED HER.
BUT IT WAS LIKE, \hA NICE E-MAIL.
IT WAS A LONG ONE, \hWELL THOUGHT OUT.
SUBJECT LINE I WROTE, \h\h\h\h"I’M SOOORRY,"
WITH LIKE A TON OF O’s.
SO IT WAS LIKE, "I’M SOOORRY,"
WITH A SAD EMOTICON \hWHERE HE’S CRYING
\hAT THE SIDE OF ITS LITTLE CHEEK.
I SHOULD PROBABLY ACTUALLY \h\h\h\hJUST TALK TO HER, HUH?
OBVIOUSLY.
\hCAN’T IMAGINE IT WOULD HURT.
OH, DID YESTERDAY’S NUMBERS \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCOME IN?
YEAH.
WE COULD DO IT THAT WAY, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTOO.
I NOTICED MY INTERN \hSURE KEEPS BUSY.
MR. CONGENIALITY.
HE’S A VERY BIG HIT.
EVERYBODY LOVES HIM.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY, DO NOT LOOK AT THAT DESK.
\h\h\h\h\h\hIT’S LIKE THE OFFICE JUNK DRAWER.
\hIT’S JUST GONNA DRIVE YOU CRAZY.
YOU JUST DID THAT.
\h\h\h\hWHAT, ARE YOU PREPARING FOR SURGERY?
OKAY, SERIOUSLY?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLIKE, HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN?
[ TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS ]
NO, NO, I-I CAN SET IT UP.
SHE’S JUST IN A MEETING.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHI. SOMETHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH?
YES, JULES SPILLED SOY SAUCE ON HER SAINT LAURENT JACKET.
\h\h\hCAN YOU TAKE IT TO THE PHOTO STUDIO?
THERE’S LOTS OF CLEANERS AND STUFF IN THERE.
\h\h\h\hSURE. WHERE IS IT?
SHE’S WEARING IT.
\hTHEY WOULD LIKE US TO CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY...
OKAY.
...OF, UH, MEETING WITH SOME, UH, POTENTIAL CEOs.
WOW.
\h\h\h\hI DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.
W-WHY? UH...
AM I TOO INEXPERIENCED AT RUNNING A BUSINESS?
I-I DIDN’T GO TO HARVARD?
\hMY -- MY METHODS AREN’T BY THE BOOK?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI MEAN, ISN’T THAT HOW WE GOT HERE?
REALLY?
I NEED ADULT SUPERVISION?
COULD WE BE DOING BETTER?
WE HIT OUR FIVE-YEAR GOAL \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIN NINE MONTHS.
EXACTLY.
JULES, WE CAN’T KEEP UP WITH OUR OWN SUCCESS.
YOU KNOW THAT.
YOU’RE AN HOUR LATE \hTO EVERY MEETING.
WE HAVE A NAME FOR IT -- JULES STANDARD TIME.
AND LOOK, I GET IT. THERE’S ONLY SO MANY HOURS IN THE DAY.
WE’RE ALL PLAYING CATCHUP.
OUR TECH GUYS WORK UNTIL 2:00, 3:00 IN THE MORNING.
CUSTOMER SERVICE \h\h\hIS SLAMMED.
WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF INVENTORY.
WE’VE GOT SHIPPING ISSUES AND PROGRAMMING PROBLEMS.
AND -- AND THE BIGGER WE GET,
THE MORE COMPLICATED IT’S GONNA GET.
\h\hBUT ISN’T THIS WHAT A STARTUP IS?
WHAT?
SAY IT. WHAT IS EVERYONE \h\h\h\h\h\hSO WORRIED ABOUT?
THAT IT’S ALL GOING TOO FAST, AND IT COULD GET AWAY FROM US.
OUR INVESTORS JUST THINK THAT A SEASONED CEO
COULD TAKE SOME THINGS OFF YOUR PLATE.
THAT’S ALL. JUST FREE YOU UP TO DO WHAT YOU DO GREAT.
YOU COME UP WITH THE IDEAS,
AND LET SOMEBODY ELSE MAKE THE TRAINS RUN ON TIME.
\h\hBUT, CAMERON, THIS NEW PERSON,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHEY ARE GOING TO WANT TO DO THINGS THEIR WAY.
TECHNICALLY BE MY BOSS.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI MEAN, HOW CAN I DO WHAT I DO
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIF I HAVE TO REPORT TO SOMEONE ELSE,
RUN EVERY IDEA I HAVE \h\h\h\hBY THIS PERSON?
\h\h\h\h\hCAN YOU SEE THAT WORKING?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWELL, GILT GROUPE BROUGHT IN A CEO.
HOW ARE THEY DOING?
I MEAN, GET ME CEO LESSONS, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU KNOW?
[ SIGHS ]
Ben: UH, EXCUSE ME.
I APOLOGIZE,
BUT BECKY SAID YOU NEEDED \hSOMETHING TAKEN CARE OF
ON YOUR JACKET.
OH, RIGHT.
THANK YOU, BEN.
OF COURSE.
THE V.C.s MADE UP A LIST OF POTENTIAL CEOs.
LET’S JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THE LIST.
\hEXPLORE IT, THEN DECIDE.
BABY STEPS.
BEN.
\h\h\hSOMETHING BIG GOING ON IN THERE?
I COULDN’T SAY.
YOU WERE IN THERE \h\hA LONG TIME.
I CAN’T HEAR A THING.
Psst!
\h\hSAY SOMETHING ABOUT ME TO HER.
\h\h\h\h\h\h[ Mouthing ] NO, YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
ON MY WAY, BOSS.
HMM. BOSS.
♪
HEY, BEN. BEN.
\h\h\hHOW OLD’S THAT BRIEFCASE?
IT’S A 1973 EXECUTIVE ASHBURN \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hATTACHé.
THEY DON’T MAKE IT ANYMORE.
\h\hI’M A LITTLE IN LOVE WITH IT.
IT’S A CLASSIC, LEWIS. \h\h\h\hIT’S UNBEATABLE.
GOOD NIGHT.
BYE.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
\h\h\h\h\h\hJules: OH, MY GOD. SOMEBODY CLEANED UP THAT DESK.
I SWEAR, I WAS GONNA STAY LATE \h\h\h\h\h\hAND DO THIS MYSELF.
WASN’T ME.
BEN CAME IN AT 7:00 THIS MORNING AND DID IT.
WHO?
BEN.
YOUR INTERN.
BEN WHITTAKER.
SOMEONE’S VERY HAPPY.
BRILLIANT. THANK YOU.
BEST THING THAT’S HAPPENED \h\h\h\h\hAROUND HERE ALL WEEK.
[ BELL DINGS ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU.
\h\hTHIS IS YOUR GIFT FOR A JOB WELL DONE.
\h\h\h\hI’M FIONA, THE HOUSE MASSEUSE.
HI, FIONA.
-HI. -BEN.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHI. DOES THAT FEEL OKAY?
IT FEELS GREAT, ACTUALLY. \h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHANK YOU.
OKAY. YOU’RE A LITTLE BIT TIGHT, BEN.
WELL, I HAVEN’T SAT AT A DESK \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hFOR A WHILE.
-MY BODY’S NOT USED TO IT. \h\h\h\h\h\h-NO, I GET IT.
\h\h\hPLUS, THEY SAY SITTING IS THE NEW SMOKING.
\h\hLET ME SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
I, UH, SPOTTED YOU \hIN THE LUNCHROOM.
I WONDERED WHO YOU WERE.
-DID YOU? OH. \h\h\h-YEAH.
THEN SOMEONE TOLD ME YOU WERE AN INTERN.
THAT’S PRETTY COOL OF YOU TO DO THIS.
WELL, IT’S A BRAVE NEW WORLD. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHOUGHT I’D JUMP IN.
SEE WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT.
YEAH, I KNOW. \hABSOLUTELY.
I’M CONSTANTLY AMAZED AT WHAT THEY DO HERE.
\hLOVE BEING A PART OF IT.
OH.
-OH, MY GOD. \h\h\h-YEAH.
THERE. YEAH. RIGHT THERE.
HOW’S THAT, BEN?
WELL, IT’S -- OH, BOY.
GOOD.
JASON.
OKAY, GOOD. GOOD, GOOD.
THERE, GOOD.
HERE YOU GO.
A LITTLE TIGHT \h\hRIGHT HERE.
IS THAT BETTER?
-OH, BOY, OH, BOY. \h-OH, HOW’S THAT?
OH, BOY.
WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU, BEN.
LOVE THAT THERE’S ANOTHER OLDIE BUT GOODIE HERE.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
SEE YOU LATER?
LOVE TO.
ME, TOO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
\h\h\h\hYOU’RE NOT AS OLD AS I THOUGHT YOU WERE.
OOH!
WAIT, SO YOU’RE SAYING YOU SHAVE EVERY DAY?
\h\h\h\h\h\h-YES. -EVEN ON SUNDAYS?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-EVERY DAY. -OKAY, AND EVEN IF YOU KNOW
THAT YOU’RE NOT GONNA SEE ANYONE THAT YOU KNOW?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-YES. -HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI’M ON cheapapartments.com,
AND I LITERALLY CAN’T AFFORD \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hA SINGLE APARTMENT
IN ALL OF BROOKLYN.
MY PARENTS GAVE ME TWO WEEKS \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTO FIND A PLACE,
AND THAT’S JUST NOT \h\h\hGONNA HAPPEN.
GETTING EVICTED?
\h\h\h\hHEY, I’M IN NO RUSH, BUT APPARENTLY THEY ARE.
\h\hALL RIGHT, HERE. LET ME SEE YOUR PHONE.
Cheapapartments.com. HAVE YOU TRIED CRAIGSLIST?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-YES. -OKAY. THEN I AM OUT OF IDEAS.
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
\hJULES. HI. HOW ARE YOU?
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
-HEY. -HEY.
-HOW’S IT GOING? \h\h-WELL, GOOD.
-MIKE, RIGHT? \h\h\h-YEAH.
\hYEAH, I’M BEN. I WORK FOR JULES.
YEAH, SHE’LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI KNOW.
LOOK, I DON’T WANT TO MAKE YOU \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hFEEL UNCOMFORTABLE,
BUT I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE \h\h\hLOOKED OUT THE WINDOW,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND IT APPEARED YOU WERE DRINKING SOMETHING
FROM A PAPER BAG.
\h\h\h\hI DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, MAN.
\h\hWHY DON’T YOU TELL HER YOU CAN’T DRIVE HER TODAY,
OR I’M GONNA HAVE TO.
WE ALL GOOD?
YEAH.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJULES, I’M SORRY TO DO THIS,
\hBUT I’M ACTUALLY NOT FEELING SO HOT.
\h\h\h\h\h\hNOT SURE I SHOULD BE DRIVING.
I WOULDN’T WANT TO GIVE YOU ANYTHING.
OH, SURE.
YEAH, NO, YOU SHOULD \h\hTAKE THE DAY OFF
AND FEEL BETTER, OKAY?
THANKS.
\h\h\h\h\hI’M HAPPY TO COVER FOR MIKE.
\h\h\hTHAT’S OKAY. BECKY CAN DRIVE ME.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hREALLY? YOU WANT TO GIVE HER MORE TO DO?
I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND IF I DON’T GET IN THE FRONT.
I-I’M NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE. I JUST THINK BETTER IN THE BACK.
\h\h\hI MEAN, I COULD GET IN THE FRONT, BUT --
\h\h\hNO, NO, NO. THIS IS PERFECT.
YEAH.
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
AND EVERYTHING YOU HEAR IN THE CAR IS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-OKAY? -GOES WITHOUT SAYING.
\h\h\h\h-HI, MOM. -Oh, I found you.
YEAH. SO, WHAT’S UP? HOW’S EVERYTHING?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWell, your dad and I are finally putting together
all our research at the hospital.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[ KEYS CLACKING ] THAT’S GREAT.
I hear you typing.
That’s better.
So, we’ve been studying \h\h\h\h\h\hwomen under 40
who sleep less than six hours a night.
-AND WHAT’D YOU FIND OUT? \h\h\h-It’s interesting.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIt seems like they’re 38% more likely
to experience major weight gain
compared to women who slept \h\h\h\h\h\h\hseven hours a night.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
YOU KNOW I HAVEN’T SLEPT IN TWO YEARS.
Well, I can’t change \h\hthe facts, dear.
\hMOM, YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M RUSHING INTO THE CITY FOR A MEETING AND I NEED TO PREPARE.
\hCAN I CALL YOU WHEN I GET HOME?
Oh, you don’t have to.
OKAY. LOVE YOU.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hThank you. [ CELLPHONE CLICKS ]
[ SKYPE RINGTONE PLAYS ]
Hey, how we doing?
\h\h\hDid you look over the material on Atwood?
YEAH, I DID.
UH, HE HAD A GREAT RUN AT TRAVELOCITY AND CITIGROUP...
AND I GET IT. \hHE’S MAJOR.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHe is. And the best thing about him
\h\h\his he’s been watching us, and he loves what we’re doing.
But he’s only one of the names \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hon the list.
So if you don’t like him, \h\h\h\h\h\h\hwe move on.
\h\hBut, Jules, try to be open.
He’s supposed to \h\hbe brilliant.
And the V.C.s love him. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hA lot.
\h\h\hMARK ZUCKERBERG NEVER BROUGHT IN A CEO,
AND HE WAS A TEENAGER.
Call me after.
OKAY.
\h\h\h\h\hOH, THANKS, BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO.
-I CAN OPEN THE DOOR. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h-SURE.
OKAY, SO, THIS SHOULDN’T TAKE MORE THAN AN HOUR.
BUT IF YOU CAN’T STAY HERE,
\h\h\hI’LL CALL BECKY AND THEN SHE’LL FIND YOU.
\h\h\h\h\h\hAND THEN YOU CAN JUST PULL UP --
DON’T WORRY. I’LL BE HERE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI THINK I FORGOT TO EAT TODAY.
SHOULD I PICK YOU UP \h\h\h\h\hSOME SUSHI?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNO, I EAT TOO MUCH MERCURY.
I’LL BE FINE. \h\hI’M GOOD.
I’M ACTUALLY KIND OF NAUSEOUS, SO...
[ SIGHS ]
♪
THAT WAS FAST.
NOT FAST ENOUGH.
OH, I-I PICKED YOU UP SOME SOUP \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hFROM A PLACE I KNOW.
THANKS.
YOU REALLY DIDN’T HAVE TO D-- TO DO --
\h\h\h\h\hOH, MY GOD, THAT SMELLS SO GOOD.
GOOD.
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
WORD TRAVELS FAST.
PRETTY SHORT MEETING.
\h\h-YEAH. I HATED HIM. -REALLY? WHAT HAPPENED?
I THOUGHT HE WAS A CONDESCENDING, SEXIST KNOW-IT-ALL
WHO DID NOT SEEM TO GET WHAT WE DO AT ALL.
AND, HONESTLY, I THINK HE WOULD RUN OUR BUSINESS
IN A COMPLETELY INORGANIC WAY THAT WOULD LOSE US
\h\hALL THE CUSTOMERS WE HAVE KILLED OURSELVES TO GET.
\h\h\hOH, AND I THINK THAT HE WOULD REPLACE US
\h\h\h\hAS SOON AS HE GOT THE CHANCE.
Oh, and...
\h\h\h\h\h[Chuckles] the man never blinked.
An Olympian non-blinker.
OKAY, THEN.
Yeah.
SEE YOU IN THE A.M.?
BE THERE OR BE SQUARE.
I’M SORRY.
Hey, don’t be.
♪
\hI JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU FOR HELPING OUT WITH MIKE TODAY
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND FOR GETTING ME CHICKEN SOUP.
OH, AND FOR CLEANING THAT MESS. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHAT WAS AWESOME.
SERIOUSLY.
YOU’RE VERY WELCOME.
\h\h\h\h\hIT’S OKAY. I REALLY WON’T BITE.
YOU STARTED THIS BUSINESS ALL BY YOURSELF A YEAR AND A HALF AGO,
\h\hAND NOW YOU HAVE A STAFF OF 220 PEOPLE.
REMEMBER WHO DID THAT.
WHO?
[ CHUCKLES ]
UM, THANK YOU.
AND I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT TRY TO GET SOME SLEEP.
-MOMMY. -HEY!
HI.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-HI. -HERE’S MY FAVORITE GIRL.
\hHEY, BABY. [ SMOOCHES ]
-HI, HONEY. \h\h\h-HEY.
OVER THE HUMP.
SO, HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
\h\h\hKIND OF OKAY. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
MADDIE SAID SHE DIDN’T WANT TO \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBE MY FRIEND ANYMORE.
OH.
\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU KNOW WHAT? I DON’T THINK SHE MEANT IT.
SHE’D MISS YOU TOO MUCH. \h\h\h\h\h\h[ SMOOCHES ]
I’M STARTING TO THINK THAT MADDIE IS BIPOLAR.
WE GO THROUGH THIS \hEVERY OTHER DAY.
WE DO.
OH, HOW WAS YOUR MEETING? IT WAS TODAY, RIGHT?
YEAH, JUST HAD IT.
MOMMY, I THINK I’M WINNING. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLOOK!
OH, THAT IS SO COOL.
\h\h\h\hYEAH, THAT’S THE PLAY-DOH CAKE CHALLENGE.
WE’RE NOT FINISHING \h\hUNTIL TOMORROW,
SO PLEASE HOLD ON ALL JUDGING.
NOT TO MENTION THAT WE HAD AN ACCIDENT WITH MINE
WHEN SOMEONE, NOT TO NAME ANY NAMES, PUT HER ELBOW IN IT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-WHAT? -IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWELL, I GOT TO SAY, I LOVE THE PINK ONE A LOT.
\h\h\h\hTHAT’S MINE. ARE YOU HAPPY AT ME?
I AM SO HAPPY AT YOU. I’M BEYOND HAPPY AT YOU.
DADDY HELPED ME WITH THE ICING.
GOOD JOB, YOU GUYS.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSO, HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU YOUR BATH, OKAY?
\h\h\hWAIT, HANG ON. I WAS WAITING FOR YOUR CALL.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSO, YOU DIDN’T LIKE THE GUY?
\h\h\h\h\hHE WASN’T A GOOD FIT FOR ME.
BUT A LOT OF OTHER NAMES \h\h\h\h\hON THE LIST, SO...
YEAH.
\h\h\h\h\hI’M GONNA BEAT YOU UPSTAIRS.
♪ DO I WANT YOU? ♪
♪ OH, MY, DO I? ♪
[ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBEN, I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN DAYS.
THAT’S RIGHT, HOMEY. \h\hBEN’S GOT A JOB.
\h\h\h\h\h\hPatty: OH, YOU’RE NEVER HOME.
\h\hWHAT DO YOU DO-- NEVER MIND. IT’S PATTY.
[ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ]
♪ OH, MY, AND I DO I? ♪
♪ YOU KNOW, HONEY ♪
♪ ’DEED I DO ♪
[ DIALING ]
♪ I’M GLAD THAT I’M THE ONE ♪
FIONA: Hello?
HI, UH, FIONA.
IT’S BEN WHITTAKER FROM ABOUT THE FIT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOh, hey. It’s good to hear your voice.
\h\h\h\hOH, IT’S GOOD TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, TOO.
\h\h\hIt was great meeting you today.
I CALLED YOU QUICKER THAN YOU THOUGHT I WOULD.
I’m glad you did. \h\h\h[ Laughs ]
JULES.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hShh. Let her sleep, Dad.
Okay.
WHEN I HEARD THAT, I WAS LIKE, "GOOD,
BECAUSE I DEFINITELY WASN’T \hEATING LUNCHABLES BEFORE."
]
YEAH, THEY’RE COMING OUT WITH
A MORE GROWN-UP VERSION \h\h\h\h\hOF LUNCHABLES.
\h\h\h\h\h\hUH, THEY’RE CALLED SO YOU STILL CAN’T COOK-ABLES.
UH, GROW-UP-ABLES ALREADY.
[ TELEVISION SHUTS OFF ]
I TRIED TO STAY UP.
I KNOW.
I’M SORRY I FELL ASLEEP IN THERE. I JUST PASSED OUT.
I KNOW WE HAD A PLAN TO HAVE A GROWN-UP CONVERSATION.
\h\h\h\hYOU WANT TO NETFLIX SOMETHING?
HM?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI’M SORRY. I JUST FELL OUT FOR A SECOND.
IT’S OKAY.
PAIGE LEARNED TO SAY \h"HUMONGOUS" TODAY.
REALLY?
CRACKS ME UP.
SHE LOOKS AT ME, \h\h\h\hSHE SAYS,
"YOU’RE A VERY HUMONGOUS DAD, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hDAD."
OH.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
\h\h\h\h\hOH, GOD. YOU KNOW I HATE TO SOUND LIKE THE OTHER MOMS.
BUT I’M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE \h\h\h\h\hI NEED A LITTLE ME TIME.
I KNOW.
GOOD NIGHT.
ANYBODY HOME?
CAN’T KEEP MY EYES OPEN, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJULE.
WE’LL DO IT TOMORROW, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY?
[ SIGHS ]
CAN YOU TURN OUT \h\h\hYOUR LIGHT?
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
[ TELEPHONE BEEPS ]
HELLO?
\hHey, Ben. It’s Becky.
From Jules’ office?
YEAH, HEY. WHAT’S UP?
Jules’ driver is M.I.A.
He’s not answering \hany of my texts.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI know you drove Jules yesterday,
and I didn’t hear \hany complaints.
So can you pick her up \h\h\h\h\h\hthis morning?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-SURE. -You know where she lives?
-I WAS THERE YESTERDAY. -Okay, so you remember.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-YEAH. -And you’re hearing me, right?
LOUD AND CLEAR, BOSS.
\h\h\hOkay, so be there at 7:45, ring the bell, and walk away.
She’ll know it’s you.
RING BELL, WALK AWAY. GOT IT.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
OH, WALK AWAY.
\hHANG ON. I’M COMING.
HI. HERE FOR JULES?
\h\h\hYEAH, HI, SORRY. I’LL WAIT IN THE CAR.
UH, SHE’S ON A CALL. DO YOU WANT TO COME IN?
I JUST MADE SOME COFFEE.
COULD BE A WHILE.
I’M MATT.
BEN WHITTAKER.
GOOD TO MEET YOU. \h\h\hCOME ON IN.
\hLEGOS EVERYWHERE, SO WATCH YOUR STEP.
SURE.
Jules: MAYBE FEATURE SOME BLOGGERS ON THE HOMEPAGE?
HAVE A SEAT, BEN.
HEY, PAIGE, THIS IS BEN. \h\h\h\hHE WORKS WITH MOMMY.
-HI. -HI.
\h\h\h\h\h\hI’M PLAYING PRINCESS MEMORY GAME.
\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, YEAH. LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE ABOUT TO WIN.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSO, YOUR JULES’ NEW DRIVER?
\hNO, ACTUALLY, I’M HER INTERN.
THAT’S HYSTERICAL.
\h\h\h\h\hYOU KNOW WHAT AN INTERN IS? \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNO.
\h\h\h\hTHAT’S OKAY. EVERYONE THINKS IT’S HYSTERICAL.
HEY, MATT, DID A--
MORNING.
\hIS THAT ALL DRY-CLEANING?
\h\h\hTHESE THREE ARE. THESE TWO ARE LAUNDRY.
\h\hAND THIS BUTTON -- THIS BUTTON IS MISSING.
I MEAN, IT’S LOOSE, SO...
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-OKAY. -IF THEY COULD JUST...
-YOU GOT IT. \h\h-THANKS.
\h\h\hHEY, AND, HONEY, UH, BEFORE YOU LEAVE,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJUST GOT TO GO OVER A COUPLE THINGS.
OKAY.
-LOOK WHO I FOUND. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h-YAY!
-HE WAS IN YOUR HAMPER. \h\h\h\h\h\h-THANK YOU.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMATTY, DID AN ATF BOX ARRIVE FOR ME?
ON THE TABLE.
\h\hUH, I -- I THINK I’LL JUST WAIT -- WAIT OUT--
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBEN. DO YOU WANT A RAISIN?
\h-THANK YOU. -[ GIGGLES ]
OKAY, SO TONIGHT, YOU’RE WORKING...
ARE YOU LISTENING, OR DID I LOSE YOU?
\h\h\h\h\h\hBEN, IS SHE LISTENING?
I AM TOTALLY LISTENING.
\h\h\hI ORDERED SOME STUFF TO CHECK ON HOW IT ARRIVED.
NOT GREAT, BY THE WAY.
\hGO ON. TONIGHT?
\h\hYEAH, OKAY. YOU’RE WORKING,
\h\hSO PAIGE AND I ARE GONNA GO TO MY MOM’S FOR DINNER.
\h\h\h\h\hAFTER SCHOOL’S RUBY’S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND, UH, WHAT ABOUT NEXT MONDAY?
DO YOU KNOW YET IF WE CAN GO TO \h\hDINNER WITH ROBBIE AND ANNIE?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, I’M SO SLAMMED NEXT WEEK.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI’M SORRY. IF YOU WANT TO GO, I’LL MAKE IT.
\h\h\h\h-WHEN WAS IT? -OH, MY GOD. MONDAY.
OKAY, I’M SORRY. I WAS FIXATED \h\h\h\h\hON THIS TISSUE PAPER.
I WILL BE THERE.
OKAY.
THANK YOU FOR THE COFFEE. THANKS FOR LETTING ME PLAY.
OH! SORRY.
I’LL MEET YOU IN THE CAR.
ACTUALLY, I HAVE TO GO. \h\h\hCOME ON, SWEETIE.
\h\h\h\h\hBEN, WE’RE GONNA DROP PAIGE AT SCHOOL, OKAY?
-HERE WE GO. -LET’S DO IT.
KISS DADDY GOODBYE. \h\h\h\h\h\h\hMWAH!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHEY, WAIT. YOU FORGOT YOUR DOGGY.
[ SMOOCHES ]
MATT SEEMS LIKE A TERRIFIC GUY.
HMM? \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSORRY, \h\h\h\h\h\hDIDN’T MEAN TO INTERRUPT.
UH, THAT’S OKAY. \hI AGREE. HE IS.
WHO? THE DAD?
THAT’S WHAT THE OTHER KIDS CALL MATT
BECAUSE HE’S THE ONLY DAD IN A SEA OF MOMS.
\h\h\hI’VE READ ABOUT THESE HOUSEHUSBANDS.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIT’S INTERESTING HOW THAT ALL WORKED JUST NOW.
THEY ACTUALLY PREFER TO BE CALLED STAY-AT-HOME DADS.
\h\h\h\hOH, SORRY. DID NOT KNOW THAT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWELL, IT’S VERY ADMIRABLE.
\h\h\h\h\hHE’S A REAL 21st-CENTURY FATHER.
HE IS.
\h\h\h\h\hHE ACTUALLY HAD A GREAT JOB IN MARKETING,
\h\h\h\h\h\hBUT, UM, WHEN ABOUT THE FIT TOOK OFF,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHE LEFT TO BE A FULL-TIME DAD.
TOTALLY SAVED OUR BUTTS.
[ KEYS CLICKING ]
OH, WE’RE HERE, \h\h\hBIG GIRL.
I DO THIS IN THE CAFETERIA
\hTO MY LUNCH FRIENDS WHEN THEY’RE DON’T LOOKING.
-YOU DO THAT? -HEY, JULES.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHI. NICE TO SEE YOU HERE.
\h\h\h\h\hUH, NOT SURE IF YOU GOT OUR E-MAIL,
BUT WE’RE DOING A FIESTA LUNCH \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNEXT FRIDAY,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND WE THOUGHT YOU COULD BRING THE GUACAMOLE.
UH, YOU PROBABLY WON’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE IT, SO YOU CAN BUY IT.
WHICH IS FINE.
ENOUGH FOR 18.
NO, I CAN MAKE IT. IT’S NOT A PROBLEM.
\h\h\h\h\h\hGREAT. MATT CAN BRING IT.
TOTALLY.
BYE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hALL RIGHT. HAVE A GREAT DAY, SWEET PEA.
HAVE FUN AT RUBY’S PARTY, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY?
MOMMY? DO YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE GUACAMOLE?
\h\h\h\h\h\hYES, I DO. REALLY WELL, IN FACT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWE’RE -- WE’RE GONNA MAKE IT TOGETHER.
\h\h\h\hAND AFTER THAT, WE’LL HAVE A MOTHER-DAUGHTER DANCE PARTY?
[ CHUCKLES ]
HEY, MADDIE. \hWHAT’S UP?
Bipolar.
OH, MY GOD.
COME HERE.
OH, I LOVE YOU, \h\h\hBIG GIRL.
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
GOD.
TAKING THE HIGH ROAD IS EXHAUSTING.
IT’S 2015. [ SEAT BELT CLICKS ]
ARE WE REALLY STILL CRITICAL OF WORKING MOMS?
SERIOUSLY? STILL?
\h\h\h\h\hI’M SORRY. THAT WAS ALL RHETORICAL.
THERE’S NO NEED \h\hTO RESPOND.
WASN’T GOING TO.
[ CELLPHONE DINGS ]
OH, BEN.
\h\h\h\h\h\hI WANT TO STOP BY THE WAREHOUSE.
480 GREENPOINT.
SURE.
\h\h\hNO, NO, NO, NO. YOU WANT TO MAKE A RIGHT.
\h\h9th TO HAMILTON TO THE EXPRESSWAY.
\h\h\hUH, I THINK WE SHOULD TAKE 4th TO FLATBUSH. MUCH FASTER.
I-IT WON’T BE.
BY 12 MINUTES, AT LEAST.
CAN I TRY?
I APOLOGIZE.
NO NEED.
Jules: TRY TO LINE THE DOTS UP \h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHE BEST YOU CAN.
AND THEN...
OKAY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIF YOU CAN, TRY TO PULL THIS TOWARDS YOU,
HOLDING IT ON THE OUTSIDE.
GOOD MEETING YOU.
\h\h\h\hOKAY, SO THEN PUT THAT ON LIGHTLY.
PUT IT DOWN WITH TWO. \h\h\h\h\hSECURE IT.
OUR PACKAGE SHOULD FEEL LIKE \h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHEY’RE GETTING
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hA LITTLE GIFT THAT THEY BOUGHT FOR THEMSELVES.
\h\h\h\h♪ TALL AND TAN AND YOUNG AND LOVELY ♪
♪ THE GIRL FROM IPANEMA \h\h\h\hGOES WALKING ♪
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ] \h\h\hIT’S OPEN.
BEN.
\h\h\h\h-WOW. -COME ON IN.
-DIDN’T EXPECT THIS. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h-YEAH.
I LIKE TO THINK OF IT AS A LITTLE BIT OF PARADISE.
CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A BACK RUB? OH, NO, THANKS.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI JUST CAME BY BECAUSE I FOUND OUT I HAVE TO WORK LATE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOH. THEN NO DINNER TONIGHT.
\h\h\hSORRY. I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBUT I’M HOPING WE CAN PICK ANOTHER NIGHT.
\h\hOF COURSE. COME SIT DOWN.
LET ME HAVE YOUR JACKET.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-OH. -JUST FOR A MINUTE.
COME ON. RELAX.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY, HOW ABOUT A FOOT MASSAGE?
DURING OFFICE HOURS?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYEAH, THAT’S KIND OF THE POINT.
\h-MAY I? -WELL...
OKAY.
IT’S ALREADY PRETTY GOOD.
\h\h\h\h\h\hALL I’VE DONE IS TAKE OFF YOUR SOCK.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWELL, NO ONE’S EVER DONE THAT BETTER.
JUST RELAX.
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
PUT YOUR HEAD BACK.
OH.
SO, WHEN WOULD YOU LIKE TO RESCHEDULE?
\h-TOMORROW? -[ CHUCKLES ]
\h\h\hCAN’T TOMORROW. WHAT ABOUT SATURDAY?
GOOD.
\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, GOD. THIS IS ENORMOUSLY SATISFYING.
\h\h\h\h\h\hWHAT TIME SHOULD I PICK YOU UP?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNOON? I LOVE DAYTIME DATES.
LUNCH, PERFECT. \hIT’S SOONER.
SO, HOW’S IT GOING? \h\h\hHOW’S JULES?
I MEAN, SHE WORKS ON ALL CYLINDERS ALL THE TIME.
DOESN’T STOP, DOESN’T SLEEP, NEVER SEE HER EAT.
MAYBE IT’S GOOD THAT I’M HERE, YOU KNOW?
I HOPE I CAN HELP HER.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI KNEW YOU WERE GONNA BE A GOOD GUY.
I KNEW IT.
TRY TO RELAX.
OH.
OOH.
[ MOANING ]
OH. WOW.
OH, MY GOD.
I’M SORRY! I’M LEAVING! \h\h\h\h\hI’M LEAVING!
SORRY! DON’T STOP! \h\h\hI’M LEAVING.
OH, MY SHOE.
SORRY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-SO? -I DON’T KNOW, KID.
\h\h\h\h\hTHIS LEASE DOESN’T LOOK SO HOT TO ME.
THREE-MONTH SECURITY DEPOSIT. YOU MUST REALLY LOVE THIS PLACE.
NO, IT’S HORRIBLE.
BUT I CAN GET IN \h\h\hTHIS WEEK.
WELL, IF I WERE YOU, I’D KEEP LOOKING.
\h\h\h-OKAY. -HEY, LEWIS.
\h\h\h\h\hWHAT’S UP? I’VE NEVER SEEN YOU SO AWAKE.
I WAS JUST ASKED TO DELIVER THIS HUGE ORDER TO TRIBECA,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND I THINK IT’S TO JAY Z’s APARTMENT.
\h\h\h\h\hI’M NOT KIDDING. LOOK, IT SAYS, "S. CARTER."
-I’M A LITTLE FREAKED OUT. -I DON’T KNOW WHO THAT IS,
\h\h\h\h\hBUT IS THIS SOMEONE YOU WANT TO IMPRESS?
THIS IS A GENIUS, BEN.
WHOA, WHAT IF BEYONCé \h\h\h\h\h\hOPENS THE DOOR? OH, MY GOD.
\h\hOKAY, NOW I KNOW WHO YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.
WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD PUT ON A PROPER SHIRT WITH A COLLAR.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hA COLLAR? THESE ARE HIP-HOP PEOPLE.
DRESS TO IMPRESS, LEWIS. GO TO THE RACK.
FIND A BOYFRIEND SHIRT THAT FITS.
BRING THE HAIR DOWN IF YOU CAN. TUCK IN THE SHIRT.
\hWHY DOESN’T ANYBODY TUCK ANYTHING IN ANYMORE?
OH, I’M ASKING YOU.
OKAY, OKAY.
BENJAMIN...
WE MADE SOME PROGRESS.
\h\h\h\hVERY BIG DAY FOR THE INTERN TEAM.
IT WAS GREAT.
I MEAN, SHE YELLED AT ME, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBUT --
\h\hSHE YELLS AT ME ALL THE TIME, TOO.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRIGHT? IT WAS COMMUNICATION.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-YEAH. -IT WAS A BREAKTHROUGH.
YEAH.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWHOO! OH, YOU WANT ONE TOO?
-YEAH. -OKAY.
\h\hOKAY, BOYS. I’M POSSIBLY MEETING JAY Z AND/OR BEYONCé,
AND I’M IN A BLOUSE.
\h\h\hWEAR IT, DUDE. IT’S AN IMPROVEMENT.
NOT TRUE.
BIG ONE.
♪
-I HATE EATING ALONE. \h\h\h\h\h\h-SO DO I.
YOU KNOW, YOU DON’T ACTUALLY \h\h\h\hHAVE TO KEEP DOING THAT.
OH, FORCE OF HABIT.
HERE YOU GO.
\h\h\h\h\hSWIPED THESE FROM THE TECH FRIDGE.
OH, NICE GOING.
YOU WANT A SLICE?
SURE, THANKS.
CHEERS.
\h\h\h\h\hI NOTICED A COUPLE HOURS AGO,
\h\hYOU HAD A MEETING WITH ANOTHER POSSIBLE CEO.
I SAW HIM ARRIVE. \hHOW’D THAT GO?
IT WAS GOING WELL...
UNTIL HE CALLED US --
I BELIEVE THE TERM HE USED \h\h\h\h\h\h\hWAS A "CHICK SITE."
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND I DIDN’T HEAR ANYTHING HE SAID AFTER THAT.
APPARENTLY, SELLING CLOTHES \h\h\hMAKES US A "CHICK SITE."
I MEAN, REALLY?
HOW IS THIS NOT LEGIT?
I COULDN’T AGREE MORE. I FIND THAT SURPRISING.
\h\h\h\h\h\hREALLY? SEXISM IN BUSINESS?
SO...
WHAT DID YOU DO FOR WORK, BEN, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBEFORE YOU RETIRED?
I WAS A V.P. FOR DEX ONE.
PHONEBOOKS?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYEAH. I WAS IN CHARGE OF PRINTING,
AND BEFORE THAT I RAN SALES AND ADVERTISING.
BIG JOBS.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWASN’T THIS A FACTORY THAT USED TO MAKE PHONEBOOKS?
NO. WHAT?
-YEAH. -WHAT?
\h\h\h\h\hTHIS IS WHERE YOU WORKED?
FOR ALMOST 40 YEARS.
[ CHUCKLES LIGHTLY ]
YEAH.
FOR TWENTY-SOME YEARS I SAT RIGHT BY THAT WINDOW.
THAT WAS MY OFFICE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIT WAS A FEW STEPS UP BACK THEN.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWE’D LOOK OUT OVER THE WHOLE FACTORY.
OUR PRINTING PRESSES WERE IN THAT CORNER.
THAT’S WHY THE FLOOR DIPS \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBACK THERE.
NO WAY.
\h\hI KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BUILDING.
OR USED TO.
YOU KNOW THE SYCAMORES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING?
\h\h\h\h-YEAH. -THE BIG ONES?
YEAH. THE BIG ONES. \h\h\hI LOVE THEM.
\h\hYEAH. I REMEMBER THE DAY THEY WERE PLANTED.
IS IT TOTALLY WEIRD \hBEING BACK HERE?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWELL, IT FEELS LIKE HOME.
IT’S...REMODELED, BUT...
HOME.
SO YOU’RE ON FACEBOOK, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHUH?
WELL, I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT.
\h\h\h\h\h\hI JOINED ABOUT 10 MINUTES AGO.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[ CHUCKLES ] WELL, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.
YOU WANT SOME HELP?
I’D LOVE SOME, BUT, REALLY, YOU’VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNO, I NEED A DIVERSION.
\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU HAVE A PHOTO OF YOURSELF?
\h\h\h-NO. I NEED ONE? -IF YOU WANT TO LOOK UP
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hALL THOSE HOTTIES FROM HIGH SCHOOL, YOU DO.
SAY CHEESE.
CHEESE. [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
THAT’S CUTE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY, I JUST NEED TO SEND THAT TO YOU.
UH, ALL RIGHT.
SO THERE ARE ALL THESE QUESTIONS FOR YOUR PROFILE
\h\h\hTHAT YOU CAN ANSWER IF YOU WANT TO OR NOT.
LIKE RELIGIOUS VIEWS, \h\hPOLITICAL VIEWS...
PEOPLE WHO INSPIRE YOU...
JULES OSTIN.
I’M NOT TRYING TO \hBROWNNOSE YOU,
BUT I’VE BEEN IN BUSINESS A LONG TIME,
AND I’VE NEVER RUN ACROSS ANYONE QUITE LIKE YOU.
YOU DO INSPIRE, JULES.
\h\h\h\h\h\hI JUST KNEW, AT THE END OF THE DAY,
\h\h\h\hTHAT A WOMAN WITH A GLASS OF WINE
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND A LAPTOP HAD REAL SHOPPING POTENTIAL.
\h\h\h\h\h\hAND IF YOU COULD ACTUALLY PROMISE HER THINGS WOULD FIT...
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSEE? THAT’S WHAT I MEAN.
OKAY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMM. YOU HAVE A FAVORITE QUOTE?
I DO.
\h"YOU’RE NEVER WRONG TO DO THE RIGHT THING."
-WHO SAID THAT, YOU? \h\h\h\h\h\h\h-YEAH.
\hBUT I’M PRETTY SURE MARK TWAIN SAID IT FIRST.
[ CHUCKLES ]
\h\h\h\h\hOKAY, FAVORITE MUSIC?
UH, GEEZ. SAM COOKE, ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITES.
LOVE MILES DAVIS, \hBILLIE HOLIDAY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, SHE WAS GREAT, RIGHT?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI MEAN, SHE COULD JUST, LIKE...
-TRANSPORT YOU. \h\h-OH, YEAH.
OKAY, BOOKS?
LOVE CLANCY, LUDLUM.
\h\hCRAZY ABOUT "HARRY POTTER."
-MATT LOVES "HARRY POTTER," TOO. -OH, YEAH?
YEAH, LIKE, READ THEM ALL \h\hTHE WEEK THEY CAME OUT.
WOW. ME, TOO.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hUM, OKAY, WHAT’S YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS?
ARE YOU MARRIED?
SINGLE?
WIDOWER.
I’M SORRY.
I THINK WE SHOULD JUST \h\h\h\hSAY SINGLE, THEN?
YEAH.
\hOKAY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED NOW?
\h\h\h\h\hYOU NEED SOMEONE TO FRIEND.
\h\h\hI’LL BE FRIENDS WITH THE OTHER INTERNS.
THEY’LL SHOW ME HOW TO DO IT IN THE MORNING.
\h\h\hWELL, YOU -- YOU CAN FRIEND ME.
OKAY, THANK YOU.
OKAY.
\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY. CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY PART OF THE FACEBOOK GENERATION.
-GOOD DEAL. -[ LAUGHS ]
\h-UM, YOU DONE? -YES, THANK YOU.
OKAY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWELL, I HAVE, UH, ABOUT ANOTHER HOUR OF WORK.
\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU -- YOU OKAY WITH THAT?
OF COURSE.
THIS WAS GREAT, JULES.
YEAH.
\h\h\hIT WAS NICE TO HAVE AN ADULT CONVERSATION WITH AN ADULT MAN,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? LIKE, NOT ABOUT WORK.
NOT ABOUT...
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
[ BLUES MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ MUSIC ENDS ]
[ SNORING LOUDLY ]
OH, WE’RE HERE?
YEAH.
WAS I SNORING?
\h\hNO, NO, NO. JUST SLEEPING.
SORRY. \h\h\h\h[ SEAT BELT CLICKS ]
\h\h\h\h\hMY PARENTS ARE SLEEP RESEARCHERS,
AND THEY’VE BEEN STUDYING MY SLEEP MY WHOLE LIFE.
\h\h\h\h\hAPPARENTLY, I’M A CLASSIC NOISY SLEEPER.
FUN GETTING TO KNOW ME, HUH?
\h\h\h-IT IS. -[ CHUCKLES ]
I NEVER FALL ASLEEP IN THE CAR, \h\hSO THAT WAS ACTUALLY AMAZING.
\h\h\hAPOLOGIZE FOR THE RACKET.
BARELY NOTICED.
\hI’LL PRETEND I BELIEVE YOU.
[ SIGHS ]
I LOVE THIS HOUSE.
\h\h\h\h\h\hIT JUST LOOKS HAPPY TO ME.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLIKE, IF IT WAS IN A KID’S BOOK,
IT WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD WHEN YOU TURNED THE PAGE AND SAW IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I DO.
WELL...
SAYONARA.
\h\h\h\hI DIDN’T HEAR YOU COME IN.
YOU KNOW...
I WAS THINKING...
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWE NEED SOME AWAKE TIME TOGETHER.
YEAH, THAT, TOO.
♪
MORNING.
GOOD MORNING. \hI’M DORIS.
\h\h\hTHEY ASKED ME TO DRIVE YOU TODAY.
\h\h\h\h\h\hARE YOU ALL SET BACK THERE?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU GOT YOUR SEAT BELT FASTENED?
WHAT HAPPENED TO BEN? [ SEAT BELT CLICKS ]
\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, SOMEBODY SAID THAT HE GOT TRANSFERRED.
\h\h\hUM, YOU KNOW THE BEST WAY TO GET BACK TO HEADQUARTERS?
[ HORN HONKS, TIRES SCREECH ]
\h\h-OH! -OH, MY!
[ HORN HONKS ] \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, WHAT--
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-COME ON! -HOLD YOUR HORSES, MANIAC!
\h[ CHUCKLES ] WHICH WAY, HON?
-I’M ALL TURNED AROUND HERE. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-DORIS.
-DORIS! DORIS! \h-WHAT? WHAT?!
\h\h\hYOU TOLD ME TO TRANSFER HIM.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHAT WAS TWO DAYS AGO. WHY DIDN’T YOU CHECK WITH ME?
\h\h\hFIRST OF ALL, THAT WAS YESTERDAY.
WELL, WHERE IS HE? \h\h\hDO YOU KNOW?
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
THANK YOU.
YOU MUST THINK \hI’M DEMENTED.
NOT THE WORD I WOULD USE,
BUT I WAS A LITTLE SURPRISED \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWHEN I GOT THE CALL.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJULES, I APOLOGIZE IF I OVERSTEPPED IN SOME WAY.
\h\h\hNO. NO, NO, NO. NO, PLEASE DON’T APOLOGIZE.
\hYOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG.
LOOK, I HAVE A LOT GOING ON, AND I’M A VERY PRIVATE PERSON.
AND AT FIRST, I DON’T KNOW, I THOUGHT
MAYBE THIS WASN’T GONNA WORK, BUT I WAS WRONG.
\hLET ME GET ONE OF THOSE.
-NO, NO, NO. \h\h\h\h-NO.
JULES, NO EXPLANATION NECESSARY. PLEASE.
NO, ACTUALLY, ONE IS BECAUSE I AM USUALLY BETTER THAN THIS.
[ SIGHS ]
THE TRUTH IS...
SOMETHING ABOUT YOU MAKES ME FEEL CALM
OR MORE CENTERED OR SOMETHING, AND I-I COULD USE THAT.
OBVIOUSLY.
I HOPE YOU’LL ACCEPT MY APOLOGY AND COME BACK TO WORK FOR ME.
IF YOU WANT.
AND I’M NOT JUST SAYING THIS
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBECAUSE I SCREWED UP THIS MORNING.
BUT I WAS THINKING THAT
I’D LIKE TO BRING YOU UP TO MY AREA, NEXT TO BECKY.
I KNOW YOU CAN HANDLE MORE WORK. IF YOU’D LIKE MORE. I...
OH, GOD, I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I HATE
THAT I JUMPED THE GUN AND I MADE YOU FEEL--
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI’M COMING BACK. I-I’M HAPPY TO COME BACK.
EXCELLENT.
CAN I GIVE YOU A LIFT BACK TO THE OFFICE?
\h\hSURE, THANKS. CAN I TAKE THIS?
NO.
[ SIGHS ]
\h\h\h\h\h\hACTUALLY, DO YOU MIND DRIVING?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI DON’T TECHNICALLY \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHAVE A LICENSE. SURE.
\h\h\h\hTHIS IS -- THIS IS CRAZY, BEN.
\h\h\h\h\h\hTWO DESKS ARE NOT GONNA FIT IN HERE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNO, I PROMISE I’LL STAY OUT OF YOUR WAY.
BUT IT’S IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE NOW I DON’T HAVE ROOM FOR --
-HI. -HI.
THIS IS GOOD, RIGHT?
I LIKE THIS ARRANGEMENT.
UH, BECKY, I WANT YOU TO LET BEN GIVE YOU A HAND, OKAY?
\h\h\h\hAND CC HIM ON ALL MY E-MAILS?
\h\h\h\h\hDID WE GET YESTERDAY’S NUMBERS?
\hUH, YES, WE DID. I SAW THEM HERE...
-HERE YOU GO. \h\h-THANKS.
AND I NEED TO GO OVER THE DATA ON CUSTOMER PURCHASE PATTERNS.
LET BEN TAKE A LOOK \h\h\hAT THAT, TOO.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hACTUALLY, LET BEN TAKE A LOOK AT THAT FIRST.
OKAY.
DON’T WORRY, BECKY. \h\hBACKUP’S GOOD.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hPING ME WHEN CAMERON GETS IN?
[ CRIES ]
[ CRYING ]
HEY.
BECKY?
I’VE BEEN HERE NINE MONTHS, BEN, AND SHE’S NEVER ASKED ME
TO TAKE A LOOK AT ANYTHING FOR HER EVER, OKAY?
\h\h\h\hI HEAR YOU. THAT’S FRUSTRATING.
\h\hI MEAN, TOTALLY. I GRADUATED FROM PENN.
I HAVE A BUSINESS DEGREE.
BUT I NEVER SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT AROUND HERE.
AND YOU’RE LIKE 50 YEARS OLDER THAN ME AND YOU’RE DEAF.
I HAPPEN TO THINK YOU DO \hA LOT OF THINGS RIGHT.
YOU DO SO MUCH.
\h\h\hI KNOW. I KNOW THAT.
\h\h\h\h-MM-HMM. -BUT SHE DOESN’T.
I MEAN, I BUST MY ASS FOR HER 14 HOURS A DAY,
AND SHE NEVER NOTICES.
OH. OH, MY GOD.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI HATE GIRLS WHO CRY AT WORK.
\h\h\hHOW ’BOUT IF YOU, JUST AS AN EXPERIMENT,
TRY LETTING ME HELP YOU.
A LOT OF YOUR STRESS \hIS GONNA BE LIFTED
ONCE YOU’RE OUT FROM UNDER \h\hTHIS MOUNTAIN OF WORRY.
AND MAYBE YOU SHOULD CONSIDER LEAVING HERE AT A NORMAL HOUR
ONCE IN A WHILE.
\hSEE YOUR FRIENDS. HAVE A LITTLE FUN.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMM-HMM. I CAN OFFER MY ASSISTANCE IN THIS AREA.
I WOULD LOVE TO, \h\h\h\hACTUALLY.
I JUST DON’T WANT HER TO THINK THAT I CAN’T DO MY JOB
AND I NEED AN INTERN TO HELP ME.
OKAY, YOU’RE NOT GONNA \h\hWANT TO HEAR THIS,
\hBUT I HEARD WOMEN WHO SLEEP LESS THAN SEVEN HOURS A NIGHT
GAIN 38% MORE WEIGHT
\h\h\h\h\hTHAN WOMEN WHO SLEEP MORE THAN SEVEN HOURS A NIGHT.
WHAT?!
I LEAVE HERE AT 11:00. I GET BACK AT 7:00.
I SLEEP LIKE FIVE HOURS A NIGHT, AND NOW I’M GONNA GET FAT?
LET’S GET THROUGH THIS STUFF. \h\h\h\hLET’S DO IT TOGETHER.
LET’S CLEAN-SLATE IT.
LET’S JUST DO IT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-YES! -VERY NICE, ST. LOUIS.
-AH, SUEDE JACKET IN D.C. -I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW WELL THAT SWEATER IS DOING.
-I’M SO HAPPY.
-BEAUTIFUL, MIAMI! THANK YOU. \h\h\h\h-OH! LOOK AT CHICAGO!
\h\hSHE PUT THE SAME BOOTS IN HER CART AS THE WOMAN FROM HOUSTON.
\h\h\hOKAY, LET’S SEE WHAT SHE DOES AT CHECKOUT.
[ BEEPS ]
\h\h\h\h\hSHE’S NOT BUYING THEM EITHER.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY, MAYBE CHECK THE DELIVERY COST ON THOSE BOOTS?
MM-HMM.
-KNOCK-KNOCK. \h\h\h\h-HEY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHI. I TOOK A LOOK AT THE DATA PURCHASE PATTERNS.
UH, SHOULD I COME BACK?
NO, NO, COME ON IN. \h\hTHAT WAS FAST.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWELL, I ENLISTED BECKY’S HELP.
IT SEEMS THE MOST EXPENSIVE \hPLACE YOU’RE ADVERTISING
IS ACTUALLY BRINGING YOU THE CUSTOMERS WHO ARE SPENDING THE LEAST.
\h\h\h\hAND THE CHANNELS YOU’RE LEAST INVESTING IN
ARE ADDING ENORMOUS VALUE IN SEGMENTS THAT CURRENTLY APPEAR TO HAVE LOW VALUE
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBUT ACTUALLY HAVE THE HIGHEST SPENDING POTENTIAL.
THAT’S WHAT I COULD TELL \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSO FAR.
OH, BEN. CAN YOU, LIKE, \hDEAL WITH THAT FOR ME?
MAYBE COME UP WITH \h\hA BETTER PLAN?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI MEAN, IF YOU HAVE THE TIME?
HAPPY TO.
THE MAN SPENT 40 YEARS \h\h\h\h\h\hIN BUSINESS.
YEAH, NO, I GET IT.
\h\h\h\hAND, JULES, BECKY WAS A HUGE HELP IN THIS.
\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU KNOW SHE HAS A BUSINESS DEGREE FROM PENN?
I KNOW.
I MEAN, I FORGOT, \h\h\hBUT I KNOW.
I’LL SAY SOMETHING \h\h\h\h\h\hTO HER.
THAT WOULD BE VERY NICE.
HEY. HOW’S IT GOIN’ UP HERE IN FIRST-CLASS?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBUSY. I SEE YOU FOUND AN APARTMENT.
NO.
MY TWO WEEKS ARE UP.
\hI’M MOVIN’ IN WITH MY COUSIN.
EXCELLENT.
IN PHILADELPHIA.
-DAVIS. -WHAT?
I’LL GET THERE BY 11:00, LEAVE AT 5:00.
\h\h\hIT’S COOL. I CAN HANDLE IT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE EVERYBODY’S UNCLE AROUND HERE.
YEAH, WHY IS THAT?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBECAUSE I’M GONNA SAVE YOUR ASS,
AND I’M GONNA PUT YOU UP \h\h\h\h\h\hFOR A FEW WEEKS.
OBVIOUSLY.
BEN, THANK YOU.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMWAH! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
\hOKAY. OKAY. EASY, FELLA.
Davis: I LIKE THAT YOU DO \h\hTHE THROW PILLOW THING.
\h\h\h\hI WAS MARRIED FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
MM.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWHOA. IS THIS YOUR CLOSET?
BUSY MAN ABOUT TOWN.
\h\h\h\h\hWHAT’S IN ALL THESE DRAWERS?
\h\hBOXERS, T-SHIRTS, POCKET SQUARES, HANDKERCHIEFS.
\hOKAY, WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH THE HANDKERCHIEF?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHAT ONE I JUST DON’T GET AT ALL.
OKAY. IT’S ESSENTIAL.
THAT YOUR GENERATION DOESN’T KNOW THAT IS CRIMINAL.
THE BEST REASON TO CARRY A HANDKERCHIEF IS TO LEND IT.
ASK JASON ABOUT THIS.
WOMEN CRY, DAVIS.
WE CARRY IT FOR THEM.
ONE OF THE LAST VESTIGES OF THE CHIVALROUS GENT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOH. WELL, THEN IT’S DIFFERENT THAN A PO--
I KNOW YOU WANT TO HANG, BUT I --
I HAVE TO GET SOME SLEEP, KID. I’M POOPED.
GOOD NIGHT, BEN.
THANKS AGAIN.
WILL YOU WAKE ME IN THE MORNING \h\h\h\hOR IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
-MY PARENTS ALWAYS-- \h\h\h\h\h-TOO MUCH.
\h\h\h\hUNDERSTOOD. I’LL JUST SET AN ALARM ON MY PHONE.
\h\h\hI HOPE I CAN HEAR IT. I’M SUCH A DEEP SLEEPER.
\h\hOH, MY GOD. I’LL WAKE YOU.
THANK YOU!
\h\hLOVE YOU! NOT KIDDING!
I LOVE YOU, TOO. \hNOW GO TO BED.
HERE’S SOME MORE BERRIES, GUYS.
BEN, CAN YOU POUR ME \hMORE SYRUP, PLEASE?
SURE CAN.
THERE YOU GO.
PERFECT. GOOD JOB.
OH, THANKS.
OH, BOY. OKAY, SO, THIS REALLY \h\h\h\hBIG CEO NAMED TOWNSEND,
THE ONE EVERYONE SAID WOULD \hNEVER BE INTERESTED IN US
BECAUSE WE WEREN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM?
-YEAH? -YEAH?
[ LAUGHTER ]
\h\h\h\hWE’RE LIKE YOUR SISTER WIVES.
WELL, WE JUST FOUND OUT HE’S BEYOND INTERESTED.
EXCITING.
YEAH.
MAYBE.
EVERYONE’S FLIPPING OUT \h\h\h\h\h\h\hABOUT IT,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBUT YOU KNOW I’M STILL ON THE FENCE AT BEST.
\h\h\h\h\h\hANYWAY, THE ONLY THING IS,
I HAVE TO GO TO SAN FRANCISCO \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTO MEET HIM.
\h\h-HE CAN’T COME HERE. -WHEN DO YOU HAVE TO GO?
THE ONLY DAY HE CAN MEET \h\h\h\hIS NEXT THURSDAY.
DO YOU WANT TO COME?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMAYBE WE CAN STAY THE WEEKEND?
OH, THAT SOUNDS AWESOME. UM...
OH, THURSDAY I CAN’T.
PAIGE IS SNACK LEADER AT SCHOOL,
AND I’M SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE CLASS WITH HER.
-IT’S KIND OF A BIG DEAL. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-RIGHT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYEAH, IT’S A REALLY BIG DEAL.
NO, I KNOW, SWEETIE. I’M SORRY. I FORGOT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hUH, MAYBE BEN COULD GO WITH YOU.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYEAH, THAT’S A GOOD IDEA.
\h\h\h\h\hGUYS, BEN HAS A LIFE.
UH, NOT REALLY.
NOT ONE THAT TAKES ME \h\h\hTO SAN FRANCISCO.
IF YOU WANT THE COMPANY, \h\h\h\h\h\h\hI’D LOVE TO GO.
REALLY?
DEFINITELY.
-GUESS WHAT, BEN? \h\h\h\h\h\h-YES?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTODAY, MY DAD’S GONNA BE ARIEL.
IT’S HIS TURN.
-OH, THAT’S GOOD, RIGHT? \h\h\h\h\h\h-REALLY GOOD.
Matt: YOU GUYS THINK FINDING A CEO IS A BIG DEAL?
HERE, THE BIG NEGOTIATION IS WHO GETS TO BE ARIEL
WHEN WE’RE PLAYING \h"LITTLE MERMAID."
\hAND FOR THE RECORD, IT’S NEVER BEEN MY TURN.
\h-MNH-MNH. -[ LAUGHS ]
SO THIS IS HUGE FOR ME. I’M EXCITED.
I GET TO COMB MY HAIR WITH A FORK... [ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
...PLAY WITH GADGETS AND GIZMOS APLENTY.
DADDY!
THIS IS JULES.
\h\hSO, GUYS, HOW LONG TILL WE GET IT FIXED?
I MEAN, IF YOU CAN’T ZOOM IN, \h\h\h\h\h\hYOU PROBABLY WON’T BUY.
CAMERON: Yeah, the first couple \h\hhours are already down 23%.
-OH, BOY. \h-OKAY.
-I WILL BE THERE IN LIKE... \h\h\h\h\h\h\h-TWO MINUTES.
-...TWO MINUTES. \h\h-We’re on it.
BEN, DO YOU HAVE THE INFO ON FRIENDS SHOPPING TOGETHER?
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
\h\h-YEAH. -THANK YOU.
-THIS IS JULES. -What’s wrong?
OH, MOM, HI.
UM, I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE ZOOM LINK --
UM, THE BUTTON THAT YOU CLICK ON TO ZOOM IN ON A PHOTO,
\h\h\h\h\h-ISN’T WORKING. -That doesn’t sound like \h\h\h\hsuch a big deal.
WELL, ACTUALLY, IT IS. UM...
IT’S WHAT PEOPLE USE TO GET A CLOSER LOOK AT WHAT --
EVERYBODY ZOOMS IN.
\hI guess I don’t go to your website enough to know that.
[ SCOFFS ]
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
Oh, typing and ringing.
\h\h\h\hYEAH, SORRY. OH, IT’S THE WAREHOUSE.
\h\h\hMOM, I’M SORRY. CAN I CALL YOU BACK?
\h\h\h\h-No need. -OKAY, LOVE YOU.
Yep.
\hWHO SAYS "YEP" TO "I LOVE YOU"?
[ RINGING CONTINUES ]
HI, ALONZO.
ALONZO: Hi, Jules.
Not good news.
\hWHAT? OKAY. LAY IT ON ME.
\h\h\h\h\hIn a routine check by the sanitation department,
they found one bedbug.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-NO. -Unfortunately, yes.
We sent out 4,800 boxes \h\h\h\h\h\hyesterday.
We have to get them all back, \hshut down the warehouse...
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-UGH. -...spray for bedbugs,
then we can start shipping \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hagain.
-NIGHTMARE. -NIGHTMARE.
OKAY, HERE WE ARE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY, LET ME JUST FINISH THIS E-MAIL.
[ GASPS ]
NO!
NO.
NO, NO, NO.
[ GASPS ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
\h\h\h\hHEY, GUYS. THANKS FOR COMING.
I KNOW THE ZOOM IS BROKEN,
\h\h\hAND I DON’T MEAN TO PULL ANYONE OFF OF THAT,
BUT I NEED A FAVOR.
I ACCIDENTALLY SENT AN E-MAIL \h\h\h\hTO THE WRONG PERSON,
AND SHE’S AT WORK \h\h\hRIGHT NOW.
AND I KNOW SHE DOESN’T CHECK \h\h\h\h\hHER PERSONAL E-MAIL
UNTIL SHE GETS HOME \h\h\h\h\hAT 5:30.
\h\h\h\h\hSO I HAVE UNTIL THEN TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO DELETE IT.
\h\hBECAUSE IF THIS PERSON SEES THIS E-MAIL, IT’LL BE HORRIBLE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND ON TOP OF THAT, SHE HAS A MINOR HEART CONDITION.
\h\h\h\h\h\hI THINK THIS COULD POSSIBLY BE NOT GOOD FOR THAT.
\h\h\h\h\h\hSO I AM COUNTING ON YOUR GOOD GRACES AND BRILLIANCE
\h\h\h\hTO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO SAVE MY ASS.
\h\h\hTRUTHFULLY, JULES, IT’S PRETTY IMPOSSIBLE
TO HACK INTO A SERVER.
Techie #2: AND YOU DON’T KNOW HER PASSWORD?
NO IDEA.
JULES, I THINK THERE’S ONLY \h\h\h\h\h\h\hONE THING WE CAN DO.
WHAT? TELL ME. \h\hI’M DYING.
ME AND THE BOYS TAKE OFF,
WE BREAK INTO YOUR MOM’S HOUSE, AND WE STEAL HER COMPUTER.
\h\h\hBREAK INTO HER HOUSE AND STEAL THE COMPUTER?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
THAT’S FREAKING GENIUS.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hFemale GPS Voice: YOU WILL REACH YOUR DESTINATION
IN 300 YARDS.
LITTLE DOES GPS LADY KNOW SHE IS AN ACCOMPLICE TO A CRIME.
THE WOMAN HAS A HEART CONDITION. THINK OF IT AS A GOOD DEED.
I NEVER THOUGHT YOU’D BE A BAD INFLUENCE ON ME, WHITTAKER.
OH, RELAX, FELLAS. THIS IS \hGONNA BE A PIECE OF CAKE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHE KEY IS UNDER A FLOWERPOT.
WE GO IN, WE DELETE, \h\h\h\hWE DISAPPEAR.
SHE DOESN’T HAVE AN ALARM, RIGHT?
\h\h\h\hNOPE. SHE DOES NOT.
WHAT IF THERE’S, LIKE, A PASSWORD ON THE E-MAIL? HMM?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHEN WE TAKE THE COMPUTER.
\h\h\h\h\hJULES SAID SHE’D BUY HER A NEW ONE, SO IT’S A WIN-WIN.
YOU WILL REACH YOUR DESTINATION \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIN 100 YARDS.
\h\h\hTHIS IS LIKE AN "OCEANS" MOVIE.
\h\hBEN’S THE OLD GUY WITH THE BIG GLASSES.
HIS NAME IS ELLIOTT GOULD.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYEAH, AND, JASON, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU’RE CLOONEY. THANK YOU.
\h\h\h\hAND I’LL BE MATT DAMON ’CAUSE I’M KIND OF AN OUTSIDER.
YEAH, DEFINITELY. \h\h\h\hWHO AM I?
\h\h\h\h\h\hUH, YOU ARE BEN AFFLECK’S BROTHER.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWELL, WHY AREN’T I BRAD PITT?
I THINK THAT’S KIND OF \h\h\hSELF-EXPLANATORY.
[ FUNKY HEIST MUSIC PLAYS ]
-OKAY, CLOONEY. \h\h-THANK YOU.
YOU’RE BEHIND THE WHEEL.
PARK ON THE STREET.
KEEP THE ENGINE RUNNING, \h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOUR EYES OPEN.
DAMON, AFFLECK’S BROTHER, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU’RE WITH ME.
\h\hALL RIGHT, LET’S DO THIS.
\h\h\h\h\h\hREMEMBER, THE KEY’S UNDER THE FLOWERPOT.
[ ALARM BEEPING ]
OH, NO.
OH, GREAT PLAN SO FAR. \h\h\h\h\h\hOH, MY GOD.
\h\h\h\h-LEWIS, GET BECKY. -IF WE DON’T KNOW THE CODE,
THIS IS GONNA TURN INTO AN ALARM IN 60 SECONDS.
BECKY, PUT JULES ON.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSHE PUT ME ON HOLD. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT GIRL?
\h\h\h\h\h\hTHIS IS SO NOT GOOD. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO, BEN?
-WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED-- \h\h\h\h\h-STOP EATING!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-UH-HUH! -GO LOOK FOR THE COMPUTER!
RIGHT NOW! GO! GO! GO!
NO! SEPARATELY! \h\hSEPARATE--
\h\hBECKY: Ben. Ben, you there?
\h\h\hBECKY, DON’T SCREW AROUND. PUT JULES ON. IT’S AN EMERGENCY.
-She’s in a meeting. \h\h\h-INTERRUPT HER.
JULES: Ben, what’s up?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJULES, YOUR MOTHER HAS AN ALARM.
-No, she doesn’t. \h-YES, SHE DOES.
I’M IN HER KITCHEN. IT’S ABOUT \h\hTO GO OFF. WHAT’S HER CODE?
\h\hI HAVE NO IDEA. BEN, LISTEN TO ME.
I KNOW THIS WOMAN.
THAT IS A FAKE ALARM THAT SHE BOUGHT
OFF OF SOME INFOMERCIAL OR SOMETHING, OKAY?
\h\hIT’S NOT REAL. IT’S NOT CONNECTED.
\h\h\hIt’s just to scare off burglars.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSHE SAYS IT’S FAKE. IT’S JUST TO SCARE OFF BURGLARS.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, WELL, IT’S DOING A GOOD JOB.
LISTEN, MY PARENTS WOULD NEVER PAY FOR AN ALARM, OKAY?
THEY’RE THE CHEAPEST PEOPLE IN AMERICA.
\h\hOKAY, WELL, IT HASN’T TURNED INTO AN ALARM YET.
\h\h\h-IT’S STILL BEEPING. -THAT’S ’CAUSE IT’S A FAKE.
TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. HAVE YOU FOUND THE COMPUTER?
IT’S NOT DOWN HERE.
♪
LEWIS, GO IN THERE. \hDAVIS, IN THERE.
\h\h-FOUND IT! -GOT IT! WHAT?
WE FOUND TWO. WHICH ONE IS HERS? THE WHITE ONE OR THE SILVER ONE?
\h\h\hTHE WHITE ONE OR THE SILVER ONE?
THE WHITE ONE OR THE SILVER ONE? WHITE ONE OR THE SILVER ONE?
-YOUR MOM’S COMPUTER? \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-YES.
\h\h\h\h\hIT’S WHITE. I GOT IT FIXED FOR HER ONCE.
-I AM POSITIVE. -THE WHITE ONE!
WHITE.
[ ALARM BLARING ]
OH, MY GOD.
I KNEW THERE WAS NO SUCH THING \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAS A FAKE ALARM!
WE’RE GONNA GET ARRESTED! \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI KNEW IT!
THAT’S IT! WE’RE DONE!
\h\h\h\h\h\hOUR FINGERPRINTS ARE ALL OVER THIS PLACE!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBEN, DO YOU SEE THE E-MAIL?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-NOT YET. -DOUBLE-TIME IT, DUDE.
HERE, LET ME.
FOUND IT!
\h\h"WHY IS MY MOTHER ALWAYS SUCH A RAGING BITCH?"
\h\h\h\h\hSUBJECT -- "SHE’S A TERRORIST."
Yes! Delete it!
GONE.
NOW FROM THE TRASH!
GOT IT.
[ SIREN WAILS ]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hDAVIS, WHERE’D YOU FIND THIS?
UNDER THE BED, RIGHT SIDE.
WHICH RIGHT SIDE?
RIGHT SIDE FACING THE BED! OH, MY GOD! MY LIFE IS OVER!
I’M GONNA BE A FELON AND I HAVE NOT COMMITTED A CRIME!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hDAVIS. DAVIS, PULL IT TOGETHER.
\h\h\hCAN’T YOU HEAR HOW FAR AWAY THAT IS?
WE’VE GOT AT LEAST 30 SECONDS \h\h\h\h\hUNTIL THEY’RE HERE.
[ Lisping ] HOW AM I GONNA EXPLAIN THIS TO MY PARENTS?
\h\h\hOH, MY GOD. MY LISP IS BACK!
-20 SECONDS. \h\h\h\h-OH!
JUST RUN! RUN!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJason: [ Rapping ] ♪ GIVE IT AWAY NOW ♪
♪ JUST GIVE IT AWAY ♪
♪ YEAH, HERE WE GO NOW ♪
\h♪ TELL ME WAT’CHU REALLY WANT TO DO ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ COME HERE, MA, TALK WITH ME, TALK WITH ME ♪
♪ LOOK LIKE YOU’RE REAL GOOD ♪
♪ TALK AND YA REALLY WANT TO WALK FOR ME ♪
\h\h♪ THE WAY YOU REALLY TRY TO PUT IT ON, DAWG ♪
♪ DANCE LIKE YA NEVER DID \h\h\h\h\hBEFORE FOR ME ♪
♪ WANT TO BREAK YO’ BACK, \hGONNA BREAK YO’ NECK ♪
♪ AND THE WAY YOU TRY TO PUT IT \h\h\h\h\hON THE FLOOR FOR ME ♪
♪ COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, YEAH ♪
JASON!
OPEN THE DOOR!
\h\h♪ EVERY TIME I COME THROUGH ♪
\h♪ THIS MOTHERFREAKER IS ALWAYS IN THE RIDE ♪
JASON! OPEN THE DOOR!
OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!
\h\h\hWHOA! WHOA, OKAY!
\h\h\h\h\hOKAY! [ LOCK CLICKS ]
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ] [ SIREN APPROACHING ]
HOLD ON! I’M NOT IN! I’M NOT IN! I’M NOT IN!
I’M IN.
♪ HERE SHE COMES ♪
-CHEERS! -CHEERS!
♪ WALKIN’ DOWN THE STREET ♪
YOU ARE A CRAZY SON OF A BITCH. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?
I DIDN’T, ACTUALLY.
I’M SURE MY BLOOD PRESSURE \h\h\h\h\hWAS THROUGH THE ROOF.
BUT IT WAS WORTH IT. \h\h\h\h\hGOOD TIMES!
\h\h[ LAUGHTER ] GUYS, I CAN’T --
\hI LITERALLY CAN’T THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR WHAT YOU JUST DID.
IT WAS SO ABOVE AND BEYOND \h\h\hAND BRAVE AND LOYAL.
I AM INDEBTED TO YOU \h\h\h\h\h\hFOREVER.
\h\h\h\h\h-NO, YOU’RE NOT. -WELL, YOU’RE VERY WELCOME.
YOU KNOW...
\hTAKES A TEAM, BUT IT’S DONE.
-ALL TAKEN CARE OF. \h\h\h\h\h\h-OKAY.
I’M GONNA HAVE ANOTHER. \h\h\h\h\hANYBODY ELSE?
\h-I WOULD LOVE THAT. -YEAH, LET’S DO THAT.
YEAH. BUT COULD I JUST GET A HALF THIS TIME?
I’LL TAKE HIS HALF.
\h\hWE’LL ALL HAVE DOUBLES.
N-No, it’s okay. I can drink. It’s a thing about me.
NOW, WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAGAIN?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI NEVER WANT TO NOT KNOW YOU.
I’M JASON.
I’VE WORKED FOR YOU \hFOR LIKE A YEAR.
I’VE DELIVERED THINGS \h\h\h\h\hTO YOUR HOME.
\h\h\hI MET MATT A BUNCH OF TIMES.
I’VE TIED YOUR DAUGHTER’S SHOE \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBEFORE.
\h\hI -- I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I’M JUST TERRIBLE WITH NAMES.
IT’S ALL RIGHT. \h\hIT’S JASON.
YOU’RE NEW, RIGHT?
\h\h\hYEAH. I’M DAVIS.
\h\h\hI STARTED WORK THE SAME DAY AS BEN.
WE’RE PRETTY MUCH BESTIES, AND I’M HIS MENTEE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOH. HE GAVE ME THIS TIE, FOR EXAMPLE.
\hIT WAS HIS. IT’S VINTAGE.
-"VINTAGE." -I LIKE IT.
I LIKE MEN IN TIES.
-AND, YOU’RE LEWIS. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h-YES.
YEAH, I COULD HEAR A LITTLE BIT \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOVER THE PHONE.
YOU WERE VERY COOL \h\hUNDER PRESSURE.
WELL, IT WAS MY FIRST HEIST. I TRIED TO BE CHILL.
THANKS FOR NOTICING.
SALUT.
\h-MM! -WHOO!
BOYS, WHAT CAN I SAY...
I’M SORRY.
\h\h\hI DIDN’T MEAN TO CALL YOU "BOYS."
NOBODY CALLS MEN \h"MEN" ANYMORE.
HAVE YOU NOTICED?
WOMEN WENT FROM "GIRLS" \h\h\h\h\h\hTO "WOMEN."
MEN WENT FROM "MEN" \h\h\h\hTO "BOYS"?
\hTHIS IS A PROBLEM IN THE BIG PICTURE.
-DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-YEAH.
I’M GONNA HAVE ANOTHER.
\h\h\h\h\h\hANOTHER? YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYEP. OKAY, HERE’S MY THEORY ABOUT THIS.
WE ALL GREW UP DURING THE "TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY" THING, RIGHT?
MM-HMM.
SO WE WERE ALWAYS TOLD WE COULD \h\h\hBE ANYTHING, DO ANYTHING.
\hAND I THINK GUYS GOT, MAYBE NOT LEFT BEHIND,
BUT NOT QUITE AS NURTURED, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU KNOW?
\h\hI MEAN, LIKE, WE WERE THE GENERATION OF "YOU GO, GIRL."
WE HAD OPRAH.
\h\hAND I WONDER SOMETIMES HOW GUYS FIT IN, YOU KNOW?
\h\hTHEY STILL SEEM TO BE TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT.
THEY’RE STILL DRESSING \h\h\hLIKE LITTLE BOYS.
THEY’RE STILL PLAYING \h\h\h\hVIDEO GAMES.
WELL, THEY’VE GOTTEN GREAT. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSO...
I LOVE VIDEO GAMES.
OH, BOY.
HOW, IN ONE GENERATION, HAVE MEN GONE FROM
GUYS LIKE JACK NICHOLSON AND HARRISON FORD TO...
TAKE BEN, HERE.
A DYING BREED. \h\h\hYOU KNOW?
LOOK AND LEARN, BOYS,
BECAUSE IF YOU ASK ME, THIS IS WHAT COOL IS.
OH, THANKS, ACE. YOU’RE NOT GONNA DRINK ANYMORE, RIGHT?
\h\h[ CHUCKLES ] CALLING ME "ACE"?
THAT IS JUST SUPER COOL, RIGHT?
-DEFINITELY. \h-VERY COOL.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY. I AM OFFICIALLY A LITTLE DIZZY.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE TIRADE.
I AM GONNA GO.
BUT I AM FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT, GENTLEMEN.
\h\h\h\hANOTHER WORD WHICH IS NEVER USED ANYMORE.
LET’S BRING IT BACK, SHALL WE?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-YES. -BEN, I’LL BE UBERING HOME.
-THANKS AGAIN. \h-WHOA! WHOA!
OKAY.
[ Slurring ] I’M SO SORRY.
DON’T WORRY.
I’M FINE NOW.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[ RETCHES ] OKAY.
IT’S OKAY, IT’S OKAY.
[ GROANS ]
OH, I HAVEN’T DONE THAT \h\h\h\h\h\hSINCE COLLEGE.
THANK YOU.
OH, MAN.
\h\h\h\h\hVERY SORRY YOU HAD TO SEE THAT.
HUMILIATING.
IT’S ALL GOOD.
YOU FEELING BETTER?
YEAH.
YEAH, I FORGOT YOU GOT TO EAT \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBEFORE YOU DRINK.
I’M GOOD NOW.
THANK YOU.
\hI’M LEAVING IN A MINUTE.
\h\h\h\hJUST WORKING ON MAKING THIS THE WORST POSSIBLE DAY FOR YOU.
\h\h\hNO, NOT AT ALL. YOU’VE HAD A STRESSFUL DAY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHOW IS IT THAT YOU ALWAYS MANAGE TO SAY THE RIGHT THING...
DO THE RIGHT THING, BE THE RIGHT THING?
IT’S UNCANNY.
\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU -- YOU GET SOME REST.
I WILL.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
OH, AND, UH...
SAYONARA.
ABSOLUTELY.
♪
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
REALLY SO NICE OF YOU TO DO THIS.
MOST WOMEN WOULD HAVE JUST RESCHEDULED.
OH, NOT TO WORRY. \h\hI UNDERSTAND.
IT WAS UNEXPECTED.
-THANK YOU. -THANK YOU.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
\h\h\h\h\h\h-Hi. -Oh. Come on in.
Oh, no, after you. \h\h\h\h\hGo ahead.
Benji, you brought a date \h\h\h\hto a funeral. Unreal.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWe had plans. Who knew this was gonna happen?
Well, how do you do? \h\h\h\h\hI’m Miles.
Hello. Fiona.
\hI’m so sorry for your loss.
Oh, thank you, dear.
Wowza!
♪
I NEVER WENT TO A SHIVA BEFORE.
\hTHE LAUGHTER WAS WONDERFUL.
\h\h\h\hI DON’T THINK I’VE EVER EATEN MORE.
I’M NOT EVEN SURE HOW I LEFT WITH A BOX OF COOKIES.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWELL, YOU WERE A BIG HIT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hGIVING THE WIDOW THAT BACK MASSAGE -- WINNING MOVE.
\h\h\hOH, YEAH. SHE NEEDED IT.
I DEFINITELY THINK \hIT’S A GOOD IDEA
TO TAKE ALL FIRST DATES \h\h\h\h\h\h\hTO A FUNERAL.
YEAH. A REAL ICEBREAKER, \h\h\h\h\h\hDON’T YOU THINK?
[ LAUGHS ]
I KNOW YOU’RE KIDDING BUT, HONESTLY,
WHO NEEDS THE STRAIN OF THE DINNER DATE?
AND THE "WHY AREN’T YOU MARRIED?" CONVERSATION.
AT OUR AGE IT’S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE TO CATCH UP.
WELL, I CAN DO ME \hIN 10 SECONDS.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU READY? YEP.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWIDOWER, ONE SON, TWO GRANDKIDS.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSPENT MY LIFE MANUFACTURING PHONEBOOKS,
\hWHICH NO LONGER SERVE A PURPOSE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
I’M CURRENTLY WORKING \h\h\h\h\hAS AN INTERN,
HAVING A BALL.
\h\h\h\hAND THE BEST NEWS IS, I HAVE A CRUSH ON A GIRL I MET AT WORK.
\h\h\h\h\hI’M SORRY YOU LOST YOUR WIFE.
OKAY.
DIVORCED.
THREE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS.
ONE GRANDCHILD, A BOY, ON THE WAY.
\h\h\hI WAS SICK A FEW YEARS BACK.
I’M NOT ANYMORE.
\h\h\hI’M AN IN-HOUSE E-COMMERCE MASSEUSE.
LOVE MY JOB.
AND I FINALLY MET A MAN I ACTUALLY WANT TO HANG OUT WITH.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLUCKY ME. [ LAUGHS ]
♪
[ COUGHING ]
MORNING.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHEY, BUDDY. YOU DON’T LOOK SO GREAT.
YEAH, I KNOW.
BUT BELIEVE ME, I LOOK BETTER THAN I FEEL. [ PAIGE CRYING ]
OH, DID YOU SEE THE YANKEES \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLAST NIGHT?
-OH, THEY WERE ON FIRE. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h-OH, MAN.
Jules: GOT TO GET SOMETHING \h\h\h\h\hIN YOUR STOMACH.
HONEY, HONEY, HONEY.
JUST CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE ONE BITE BEFORE SCHOOL?
\h\h\h\hPLEASE? JUST ONE BITE?
HEY, WHAT’S WITH THE WATERWORKS, LITTLE ONE?
\h\h\h\h\h\hI JUST TOLD HER THAT THE SITTER’S GONNA HAVE TO
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTAKE HER TO MADDIE’S BIRTHDAY PARTY
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBECAUSE MATT’S FEELING SICK.
BUT I DON’T WANT TO GO \h\h\hWITH THE SITTER.
BEN?
CAN YOU TAKE ME?
PLEASE?
OH, HONEY?
\hI’M SO SORRY, BUT BEN’S GOT TO GO TO WORK TODAY.
[ CRYING ]
\h\hJULES. COME ON. IT’LL TAKE AN HOUR.
LET ME TAKE HER.
\h\h\h\h\h\hBen: I -- I CAN’T BELIEVE WE’RE STILL GOING THROUGH THIS.
\h\h\hI’M GOING THE RIGHT WAY. PLEASE HAVE A LITTLE TRUST.
\h\h\h\hBUT THE PARK WHERE THE PARTY IS...
OH. SORRY, BEN.
ACTUALLY, THIS IS IT.
YOU’RE LIKE A CLONE.
\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, BOY. THIS LOOKS LIKE A NICE PARTY.
YEAH, IT DOES.
SO WHICH ONE IS MADDIE?
THE ONE IN THE PINK.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY. THE ONE IN THE PINK.
\hYOU CAN GO SIT WITH THE OTHER MOMS, OKAY?
\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY. YOU WANT TO GIVE MADDIE HER PRESENT?
YEAH. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY.
HAVE FUN.
THE OTHER MOMS.
FREP-- FREPRINO \hOR SOMETHING.
\h\h\h\hYEAH, I KNOW. I DON’T KNOW ANY OF THEM.
HI. I’M BEN.
-HI. JANE. \h\h-JANE.
-AND EMILY. -HI, EMILY.
I’M HELPING MATT AND JULES OUT \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTODAY.
OH, ARE YOU MATT’S DAD?
\h\h\h\h\hNO, NO. I WORK FOR JULES.
OH.
THAT’S OKAY?
\hI’VE JUST HEARD SHE’S, YOU KNOW, KIND OF TOUGH.
\h\hTOUGH? JULES? SURE. SHE’S A TOTAL BADASS.
I GUESS THAT’S HOW SHE BECAME \h\h\h\h\h\h\hAN INTERNET SENSATION.
MUST MAKE YOU GUYS PROUD, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHUH?
ONE OF YOUR OWN OUT THERE \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hEVERY DAY,
CRASHING THE GLASS CEILING \h\h\h\h\h\h\hOF THE TECH WORLD.
SO, BRAVO, GOOD FOR HER. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRIGHT?
\h\h\hY-YEAH. NO, FOR SURE.
[ CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY ]
WHAT’S UP, KIDDO?
I DON’T FEEL GOOD.
\h\h\h\h\hYOU DON’T? DO YOU WANT TO SIT ON MY LAP?
\h\h\h\hYOU KNOW, IF SHE’S SICK SHE PROBABLY SHOULDN’T BE HERE.
TOUGH CROWD, PAIGEY. YOU WANT TO HIT THE ROAD?
DOES THAT MEAN "LEAVE"?
’FRAID SO.
Paige: I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE SOMETHING...BLUE!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBen: IS IT THE CAR NEXT TO US?
NO.
\h\hIS IT, UM, THAT DOG LEASH?
NO.
UM, IS IT THE SKY?
YES! YOU GOT ONE.
YOUR TURN, BEN.
OKAY.
OH, I HAVE A GOOD ONE.
I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE \h\h\h\h\h\hSOMETHING GREEN.
IS IT THAT TREE?
NOPE.
IS IT THAT FRONT DOOR?
WELL, IT’S KIND OF GREEN.
IS IT, BEN?
IS IT THAT FRONT DOOR?
YEAH, IT IS, HONEY. \h\h\h\hGOOD GIRL.
[ HORN HONKS ]
♪
[ CELLPHONE CHIMES ]
[ SNORING ]
THANKS SO MUCH, BEN.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHEY, COME ON IN THE KITCHEN.
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING BEFORE YOU HIT THE ROAD?
WANT A CUP OF COFFEE \h\hOR A BITE TO EAT?
UH, I’M GOOD, THANKS.
\h\h\h\h\h\hOKAY. HOW WAS SHE? SHE GIVE YOU ANY TROUBLE?
SHE WAS PERFECT.
SHE WASN’T FEELING SO GREAT AT THE PARTY, SO WE LEFT EARLY,
AND SHE JUST FELL ASLEEP IN THE CAR, SO I LET HER GET A NAP IN.
SO NICE OF YOU. \h\hTHANK YOU.
[ CELLPHONE DINGS ]
SORRY.
\h\h\h\hYOU SEEM LIKE YOU’RE FEELING MORE WITH IT.
OH, YEAH. YEAH. \h\h\h\h\hUM...
I GUESS I JUST NEEDED \h\hA LITTLE DOWNTIME.
YOU KNOW, OR MAYBE I WASN’T EVEN THAT SICK, I DON’T KNOW.
HEY, BEN, I GOT SOMETHING \h\h\h\h\h\h\hI WANTED TO ASK.
WHAT’S YOUR WHOLE TAKE \h\h\h\hON THE CEO THING?
\h\h\h\h\hI MEAN, YOU’RE MORE ON THE INSIDE THAN I AM.
I KNOW JULES IS TRYING TO DO RIGHT BY EVERYBODY --
THE INVESTORS.
THE COMPANY.
YOU.
\hSHE’S GOT A LOT ON HER SHOULDERS.
\h\hTHE PRESSURE IS UNBELIEVABLE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAM I WRONG THAT I WANT IT TO HAPPEN?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI MEAN, I-I WANT WHAT SHE WANTS,
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAROUND HERE.
\h\h\h\hWE DON’T SEE HER ENOUGH, AND MAYBE THIS CAN FIX THAT.
\h\hA CEO’s GONNA FIX WHAT’S GOING ON HERE, MATT?
WHATEVER SHE DECIDES, I JUST -- I WANT IT TO BE GOOD FOR HER.
I WANT HER TO BE HAPPY.
OF COURSE.
SHE DESERVES THAT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYEAH, SHE DOES DESERVE IT.
HI, AMY.
\h\h\h\h\hBENJAMIN, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
FOUND IT ON eBay.
YOU WERE RIGHT. TOTAL CLASSIC.
IT’S AWESOME, KID.
♪ AND MANY MORE ♪
[ LAUGHTER, CHEERING ]
SO, HOW DID IT GO?
OH. WELL, YOU HAVE A GREAT KID, JULES.
SHE’S ADORABLE.
OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH \h\h\h\hFOR DOING THAT.
SO, YOU EXCITED ABOUT OUR TRIP \h\h\h\hTO SAN FRANCISCO TOMORROW?
-ARE YOU OKAY? \h\h\h\h-YEAH.
OH, I HOPE YOU DON’T HAVE \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWHAT MATT HAS.
I DON’T.
YOU SURE?
POSITIVE.
WHAT’S THAT?
BLOOD PRESSURE.
I TAKE IT EVERY DAY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hARE YOU SURE \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU’RE OKAY? YEAH.
YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE YOU. \h\h\h\h\hYOU’RE ALL FLUSHED.
WHY DON’T YOU GO SEE FIONA, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHE MASSEUSE,
AND JUST CHILL A LITTLE.
WHAT’S UP?
WHOA, BEN, YOU OKAY?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU SEEM TO BE SLIGHTLY MALFUNCTIONING.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBECKY. DOES HE LOOK RIGHT TO YOU?
OKAY. THANK YOU.
I THINK WE’RE GOOD HERE.
GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
IT’S ALL GOOD.
IS IT HIS COLORING?
\h\h\hOH, MY GOD, YOU’RE ALL NUTS.
\h\h\h\h\h\hI’M 100%. LET’S MOVE ON, KIDS.
BIG DAY. LOTS TO DO.
OKAY. BEN...
IF I AM GIVING YOU TOO MUCH TO \h\h\hDO OR WORKING YOU TOO HARD,
PLEASE DO NOT FEEL THAT YOU HAVE TO GO WITH ME TO SAN FRANCISCO.
JULES, PEOPLE MY AGE GET TIRED SOMETIMES.
THAT’S ALL THIS IS.
YOU’RE TIRED?
THAT’S WHY YOU HAVEN’T LOOKED AT ME ONCE SINCE I CAME OVER HERE?
I’M LOOKING AT YOU.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJULES. CAMERON’S ON THE PHONE.
OKAY.
LIKE, IF YOU DON’T FEEL BETTER \h\h\h\h\h\h\hTONIGHT OR LATE--
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI’M JUST SAYING I CAN GO BY MYSELF, OKAY?
I’M A BIG GIRL. \hI’LL BE FINE.
OKAY, SERIOUSLY?
BEN, WHAT IS IT?
\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU KNOW, I’M A SENSITIVE MAN.
\h\h\h\hPEOPLE DON’T THINK THAT ABOUT ME.
I DON’T LOOK IT, \h\h\h\hBUT I AM.
UNDER ALL THIS MAN STUFF \h\h\hTHAT YOU SO ADMIRE...
MM-HMM. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h...I’M JUST \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hA BIG BOWL OF MUSH.
I KNOW THAT.
OKAY.
THAT’S IT?
\h\h\h\h\hTHAT’S WHAT 24 HOURS OF CRAZY COMES TO?
\h\h\h\h\hTHAT YOU’RE A SENSITIVE BOWL OF MUSH?
JULES.
BEN.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJULES, WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWE GOT THE DAY OFF. WE’RE TRAVELING IN FIRST-CLASS.
\h\hLET’S AT LEAST HAVE A LITTLE FUN.
NOW, THAT, I CAN DO.
[ LAUGHS ]
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
♪
[ WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY ]
\h\h\h\h\h\h[ LAUGHS, SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[ LAUGHS, SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
♪
\h\h\h\hLADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AS WE START OUR DESCENT,
PLEASE MAKE SURE YOUR SEAT \h\hBACKS AND TRAY TABLES
ARE IN THEIR FULL, UPRIGHT POSITIONS
AND ALL CARRYON LUGGAGE \h\h\h\h\h\h\hIS STOWED
\hUNDER THE SEAT IN FRONT OF YOU.
YOU OKAY?
YEAH.
\h\h\hJUST THINKING, TOMORROW I MEET THE GUY
\hWHO MAY BECOME MY BOSS, KIND OF.
I MEAN A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE BOSSES, RIGHT?
-MOST PEOPLE HAVE BOSSES. \h\h-JULES, IT’S SIMPLE.
\h\h\hIF YOU THINK TOWNSEND IS GONNA BE GOOD FOR YOU
AND GOOD FOR THE COMPANY, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHEN DO IT.
AND IF NOT...
EXACTLY.
\h\h\h\hJUST BECAUSE I CAME ALL WAY HERE...
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRIGHT. DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING.
I AGREE.
\h\h\hDO YOU THINK I CAN TAKE A XANAX
IF I HAD TWO GLASSES OF WINE AN HOUR AGO?
\h\h\h\hWELL, I’D WAIT ANOTHER COUPLE HOURS.
IT’S A THING I DO BEFORE I LAND. WE’RE GOOD NOW.
♪
[ FIRE ALARM BLARING ]
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
-Jules? -YEAH.
\h\h\h\h\h\h-You hear that? -UH-HUH. I HEAR IT. I’M UP.
[ SIREN WAILS ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
ARE YOU OKAY?
THIS ALARM GOING OFF
IS NOT A GOOD OMEN \h\hABOUT THIS GUY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h-IT’S A SIGN, BEN. -OH, I’M PRETTY SURE IT’S NOT.
\h\hSO YOU HAVEN’T TAKEN A XANAX, YET?
\h\h\h\h\hYOU TOLD ME TO WAIT A FEW HOURS.
\h\h\h\hYOU TRAVEL WITH YOUR OWN ROBE?
YEAH.
\h\h\hHotel Manager: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
A SMOKE ALARM WENT OFF \hIN ONE OF THE ROOMS,
\h\h\h\hBUT THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN TAKEN CARE OF.
OUR SINCEREST APOLOGIES.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, YEAH. 100 PEOPLE, 2 ELEVATORS.
DEFINITELY A SIGN.
[ SIGHS ]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWELL, THANKS FOR ESCORTING ME BACK.
MM-HMM.
[ BEEPS ]
YOU WANT TO SEE MY ROOM?
OH, NICE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI MEAN, DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO COME IN?
I HAVE A TEA KETTLE. WE COULD HAVE TEA OR...
[ SIGHS ]
I’M RIDICULOUSLY NERVOUS ABOUT TOMORROW.
YOU CAN LIE DOWN.
I KNOW YOU’RE TIRED. I’LL SIT IN THE CHAIR.
HERE YOU GO.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA SIT IN A CHAIR?
\h\hPLEASE LET ME BE HERE. I NEED TO LIE DOWN, TOO.
WE DON’T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT WORK OR ANYTHING.
\h\h\h\h\hALL RIGHT. WHAT SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT?
MARRIAGE?
WILL YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR WIFE?
SHE WAS GREAT, RIGHT?
SHE WAS.
MOLLY WAS HER NAME.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSHE WAS A MIDDLE-SCHOOL PRINCIPAL.
BELOVED.
SO PERFECT.
LONG MARRIAGE?
NOT LONG ENOUGH.
42 YEARS.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWOW. WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?
YOU KNOW WHEN PEOPLE SAY THEY WANT TO GROW OLD TOGETHER?
\h\h\h\h\h-MM-HMM. -WELL, WE DID THAT.
WE MET WHEN WE WERE 20.
WELL, I WAS 20. \h\hSHE WAS 19.
AND WHAT WAS AMAZING IS SHE NEVER REALLY CHANGED.
THAT’S A HARD THING \h\h\hTO PULL OFF.
SHE HANDLED LIFE LIKE IT WAS EASY.
ALWAYS.
EVEN WHEN IT WASN’T.
GOD, I ENVY THAT.
ARE YOU HUNGRY?
WE HAVE, UM...
GUMMY BEARS, CHOCOLATE CHIPS, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hPRINGLES.
YUP.
I’M JUST GONNA BRING \h\hTHE WHOLE THING.
YOU KNOW THOSE ARE LIKE 15 BUCKS EACH?
BENJAMIN, I RUN A VERY BIG \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hINTERNET COMPANY.
LET’S GO CRAZY.
OKAY.
SO...
[ CRUNCHES ] SO...
[ CLEARS THROAT ] \h\h\hYEAH, SO...
I GOT A WEIRD ONE \h\h\h\hFOR YOU.
MATT IS CHEATING ON ME.
\h\h\hWAIT A MINUTE. YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWAIT, YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?
I SAW THEM TOGETHER.
OH, MY GOD. WHEN?
YESTERDAY.
I’M -- I’M SORRY.
I MEAN, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT THAT I SAW THEM, BUT I DID.
YESTERDAY.
\h\hTHEN IT IS STILL GOING ON.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?
FOR LIKE 18 DAYS.
\h\h\h\hSHE’S A MOM AT PAIGE’S SCHOOL.
IT’S STILL SO HARD \hFOR ME TO GRASP.
I-I WAS IN THE KITCHEN \h\h\hMAKING SANDWICHES,
AND HIS PHONE WAS THERE.
HE WAS UPSTAIRS \h\hWITH PAIGE,
\h\h\h\hAND H-HE WAS GETTING ALL THESE TEXT MESSAGES.
AND I DON’T KNOW WHY, \h\h\hBUT I READ THEM.
IT WAS NOT GOOD.
DOES HE KNOW YOU KNOW?
NO.
’CAUSE, HONESTLY, I’M -- \h\h\h\h\h\hI’M NOT READY...
TO DEAL WITH IT.
\h\h\h\h\h\hI WOULD LIKE TO BE A LITTLE LESS DEVASTATED,
IF THAT IS POSSIBLE.
IT’S CLASSIC, THOUGH, \h\h\h\h\h\h\hISN’T IT?
THE SUCCESSFUL WIFE.
\h\h\h\hTHE HUSBAND FEELS LIKE HIS MANHOOD IS THREATENED,
SO HE ACTS OUT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hGIRLFRIEND, I GUESS, MAKES HIM FEEL MORE LIKE A MAN.
SOMETIMES I’M NOT SURE I KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON. WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY TAKING THE RAP FOR ANY OF THIS, ARE YOU?
NO! NO, NO.
\h\h\h\h\h\hHE IS THE ONE DOING SOMETHING WRONG.
I GET THAT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMONOGAM-ISH IS NOT WHAT I’M AFTER.
\h\h\hI-I’M JUST -- I’M TAKING A SEC...
AND I’M HOPING THAT IT’S JUST \hA HORRIBLE LAPSE IN JUDGMENT
AND NOT, LIKE, LOVE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND ONCE HE MOVES THROUGH THIS,
\h\h\h\h\h\hWE WILL EVENTUALLY BE ABLE TO BE OKAY AGAIN.
WHAT DO YOU THINK \h\h\hABOUT THAT?
\hCLEARLY YOU DON’T THINK THAT’S A POSSIBLE THING.
-IT -- IT WOULD BE UNUSUAL. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h-I GET THAT.
\h\hI GET NOT EVERYBODY COULD DO THAT, BUT...
EVERYBODY’S NOT US.
I HAVE FAITH IN US \h\h\h\hBECAUSE...
\h\h\h\h\hI BELIEVE HE STILL LOVES ME.
\h\h\h\hAND, YOU KNOW, WE’VE BEEN GOING THROUGH SO MUCH THAT...
GOD, I WISH YOUR EXPRESSIONS \h\h\h\h\hWEREN’T SO TRANSPARENT.
SOME COUPLES DO SURVIVE THESE THINGS, YOU KNOW.
\h\h\hI GOOGLED IT -- "STAYING TOGETHER AFTER THE AFFAIR."
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND A LOT OF COUPLES, I MEAN, A LOT STAY TOGETHER.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND ANYWAY, THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE SAID
ABOUT MOVING THROUGH IT
\h\h\hAND FOCUSING ON US AND NOT ON THE AFFAIR.
I DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP ON HIM.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI KNOW HIM, AND I KNOW HE KNOWS BETTER.
BUT I AM ONLY HUMAN,
AND I AM SO MAD AT HIM.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU KNOW, SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED TO US SO FAST.
I THINK... \h[ SIGHS ]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hPART OF ME WAS EVEN EXPECTING THIS.
\hLIKE, YOU KNOW, HE WAS THE MORE SUCCESSFUL ONE
\h\h-WHEN WE STARTED OUT. -NO, I DIDN’T KNOW THAT.
\h\h\h\h\hYEAH, HE WAS. HE WAS A RISING STAR.
\h\h\h\h\h\hAND HE BOWED OUT SO THAT I COULD DO THIS.
HE WAS AMAZING.
IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA.
\hI’M SURE THAT’S WHY I’M EVEN CONSIDERING
THIS WHOLE CEO THING,
\h\h\h\h\hTHINKING MAYBE SOMEONE ELSE COMING IN
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWILL HELP ME GET MY LIFE BACK ON TRACK.
OKAY, THAT -- \hTHAT’S IT.
I HATE TO BE THE FEMINIST HERE, BETWEEN THE TWO OF US,
BUT YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE A HUGE CAREER AND BE WHO YOU ARE
WITHOUT HAVING TO ACCEPT THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS HAVING AN AFFAIR
AS SOME KIND OF PAYBACK.
RIGHT ON.
I MEAN IT.
ME, TOO.
BUT SUCH IS LIFE, \h\h\hMY FRIEND.
NO, IT ISN’T. \hNOT ALWAYS.
\hAND I’M NOT SO SURE I’D BE SO FORGIVING.
I AM NOT SO FORGIVING.
\h\hI’M SAYING THAT I COULD POTENTIALLY BE FORGIVING.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBUT DON’T THINK THAT I DON’T FEEL WHAT’S GOING ON HERE.
IT’S CRUSHING.
\h\h\h\h\hAND WHEN I THINK OF PAIGE...
OH, DON’T.
ALSO, IF WE GOT DIVORCED, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHE’D REMARRY.
MAYBE NOT TO THIS GIRL, \h\h\h\h\h\h\hBUT SOMEONE.
AND WE BOTH KNOW \h\hI’M NOT EASY.
\hSO I COULD BE, LIKE, SINGLE FOREVER, WHICH MEANS THAT...
FORGIVE ME, BUT THIS DOES
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hKEEP ME UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
OH.
WHAT?
THAT I DON’T WANT TO \h\hBE BURIED ALONE.
\h\h\hPAIGE’LL BE WITH HER HUSBAND,
\h\h\hAND MATT’LL BE WITH HIS NEW FAMILY,
\h\h\h\h\h\hAND I WILL BE BURIED WITH STRANGERS.
\h\hI WILL BURIED IN THE STRANGERS SINGLES SECTION OF THE CEMETERY.
NOT THAT THAT IS A REASON \h\h\h\h\h\h\hTO STAY TOGETHER.
BUT IT’S JUST, YOU KNOW, \h\h\h\h\h\hA SCARY SIDEBAR.
\hLET’S TAKE THAT ONE OFF YOUR PLATE RIGHT NOW.
YOU CAN BE BURIED WITH ME AND MOLLY.
I HAPPEN TO HAVE SPACE, OKAY?
OH.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. \h\h\h\hTHAT IS...
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND TO THINK I DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO HIRE YOU.
\h\h\h\hTHE ONE TIME I DON’T HAVE MY HANKY.
[ LAUGHS, SNIFFLES ]
YOU WANT TO...
WATCH TV?
\h\h\hJUST FOR A FEW MINUTES?
YEAH, SURE, I WOULD.
[ TELEVISION REMOTE CLICKING ]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hEVEN THOUGH THE PLANNED MERGER HAS...
]
♪
AND I WAS MEANT \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪
♪
YOU WERE \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪
♪
THE ANGELS \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪
♪
AIRPORT, PLEASE.
SO, DID WE LIKE HIM?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHE SAID ALL THE RIGHT THINGS.
HE SAID THAT NO ONE KNOWS \h\h\hABOUT THE FIT LIKE ME.
THAT HE DOESN’T WANT TO REMOVE \h\h\h\h\h\hTHE SOUL OF THE COMPANY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHE SAID THAT HE DOESN’T HAVE A PLAN.
HE WANTS TO WATCH US \hAND SEE WHAT WORKS.
HE WAS POLITE AND RESPECTFUL \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND SUPER SMART.
AND I HIRED HIM.
SERIOUSLY?
YEAH.
\h\h\h\hYOU DID IT RIGHT IN THE ROOM?
\h\h\hHE TOLD ME TO SLEEP ON IT AND THAT WE’D TALK TOMORROW,
\h\h\hBUT I SAID THE JOB WAS HIS.
WE SHOOK HANDS ON IT.
YOU KNOW IF, UH, WE DISAGREE, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHE’S THE TIEBREAKER?
\hOF COURSE. HE’S THE CEO.
YEAH. DUH.
[ WINDOW MOTOR WHIRRING ]
HI.
HEY!
YOU SMELL MINTY.
I JUST MADE MINT TEA.
SO...
YES? NO?
I DID IT.
I LIKED HIM. \h\h\hA LOT.
\h\h\h\h\hAND, UH... I OFFERED HIM THE JOB.
WOW. REALLY?
YEAH.
AND YOU’RE OKAY \h\h\hWITH IT?
YEAH.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI THINK IT’LL BE GOOD FOR US.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
DO WE HAVE ANY, LIKE, REAL BOOZE, LIKE VODKA OR SOMETHING?
YEAH.
DID "GOOD FOR US" \h\h\h\h\hMEAN...
ABOUT THE FIT...
OR US?
YOU-AND-ME US.
\h\h\hI FIGURE IF SOMEONE ELSE CAN CALL SOME OF THE SHOTS AT WORK,
THEN MAYBE...
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWE CAN GET BACK TO WHERE WE WERE 18 MONTHS AGO.
THEY SAY YOU CAN’T PUT THE GENIE BACK IN THE BOTTLE,
BUT WE CAN TRY, RIGHT?
♪
[ SIGHS ]
[ CAR DOOR CLOSES ]
HEY!
HI.
WAIT, YOU LIVE HERE?
YEAH, BEN’S BEEN PUTTING ME UP UNTIL I CAN FIND A PLACE.
OH, SHOULD I LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU’RE HERE?
THAT’S OKAY. \hI’LL RING.
OKAY.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
FIONA?!
JULES!
COME ON IN.
I’M JUST ON MY WAY \h\h\h\h\hTO WORK.
BEN’S RIGHT IN HERE.
I’LL LET YOU TWO TALK.
-SEE YOU. -MM-HMM.
HI.
WOW.
YOU AND FIONA, HUH? \h\h\h\h\hWHO KNEW.
SHE’S A GREAT GAL.
SHE SURPRISED ME LAST NIGHT. SHE BROUGHT OVER DINNER.
IT’S BRAND-NEW.
CONGRATULATIONS. \h\h\hI LOVE HER.
YEAH.
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
\h\hSO, I WAS READY KIND OF EARLY THIS MORNING, SINCE ABOUT 4:00,
AND MATT AND PAIGE LEFT AN HOUR \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAGO FOR A FIELD TRIP
SO I THOUGHT I’D COME BY. \h\h\h\h\h\hI HOPE THAT’S OKAY.
YEAH.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
I JUST WANTED TO SAY...
I SLEPT ON IT.
I HAVEN’T CALLED TOWNSEND \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYET, BUT...
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI STILL FEEL LIKE IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
WELL...
\h\h\h\h\h\hI DIDN’T SLEEP SO WELL MYSELF.
OVER THIS?
YOU REMEMBER THE DAY I DROVE YOU TO THE WAREHOUSE?
YOU WERE GIVING ME THE WRONG DIRECTIONS AND ALL THAT?
YEAH. I REMEMBER.
\h\h\h\h\hOKAY, WELL, I STOOD IN THE BACK,
AND I WATCHED YOU SHOW THE WORKERS
\h\h\h\h\hHOW TO FOLD AND BOX THE CLOTHES.
\h\h\h\h\hI KNEW THEN THAT WAS WHY ATF WAS A SUCCESS.
\h\h\h\hNO ONE ELSE IS EVER GONNA HAVE
THAT KIND OF COMMITMENT TO YOUR COMPANY, JULES.
\h\h\h\h\h\hTO ME, IT’S PRETTY SIMPLE.
ABOUT THE FIT NEEDS YOU, AND IF YOU DON’T MIND ME SAYING,
YOU NEED IT.
\hSOMEONE MAY COME IN WITH MORE EXPERIENCE THAN YOU,
BUT THEY’RE NEVER GONNA KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW.
I NEVER HAD ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE.
NOT MANY PEOPLE DO.
THIS BIG, BEAUTIFUL, EXCITING THING THAT YOU CREATED.
IT’S A DREAM, \h\hISN’T IT?
AND YOU’RE GONNA \h\hGIVE THAT UP
IN THE HOPES THAT YOUR HUSBAND WILL STOP HAVING AN AFFAIR?
\h\h\hI DON’T SEE HOW THAT ADDS UP.
YOU SHOULD FEEL NOTHING BUT GREAT ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE.
AND I’D HATE TO SEE YOU LET ANYONE TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU.
\h\h\h\h\h\hI GUESS YOU CAME OVER HERE
BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO HEAR SOME OF THIS.
YES.
\h\h\hAND MAYBE ALSO BECAUSE YOU’RE MY...
INTERN.
WELL, I WAS GONNA SAY \h\hINTERN/BEST FRIEND.
BUT THERE’S NO NEED TO GET \h\hALL SENTIMENTAL ABOUT IT
EVEN THOUGH WE COULD POTENTIALLY BE BURIED TOGETHER.
CAN’T GET CLOSER \h\h\hTHAN THAT.
[ LAUGHS ]
IT’S MOMENTS LIKE THIS \h\h\h\h\h\hWHEN YOU NEED
SOMEONE YOU KNOW YOU CAN COUNT ON.
SO THANK YOU.
\hI LIKE YOUR HOUSE SO MUCH BY THE WAY.
THANKS.
SO?
SHALL WE?
OKAY.
WELCOME BACK, \h\hYOU TWO.
JULES, I HAVE SOMETHING COOL \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTO SHOW YOU.
\hDO YOU REMEMBER TAKING A CUSTOMER-SERVICE CALL
ABOUT A BRIDE WHOSE BRIDESMAIDS’ DRESSES SHOWED UP IN GRAY,
AND WE HAD THE VENDOR REMAKE THEM OVERNIGHT
AND PUT THEM ON A PLANE?
YEAH. YEAH. \h\hRACHEL.
CHECK THIS OUT.
[ GASPS ]
THE SILK CHIFFON ANTOINETTE DRESS.
THEY LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
OH, AND THESE JUST ARRIVED \h\h\h\h\h\h\hFROM MARK TOWNSEND.
\h-HERE. -THANKS.
BECKY? GIVE ME TOWNSEND’S \h\h\h\h\h\h\hNUMBER, WILL YOU?
Becky: OKAY.
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
THIS IS JULES.
HEY, ALONZO, WHAT’S UP?
UH-HUH. OKAY.
DO WE NEED THAT MANY?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMatt: I HOPE I’M NOT TOO LATE.
DON’T DO THIS FOR ME, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJULES.
PLEASE?
JUST DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hFOR YOU.
OH, MY GOD.
I WANT TO CONTINUE RUNNING MY COMPANY, MATT.
YOU GOT TO KNOW THAT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHEN DO IT. I DON’T WANT YOU TO BE UNHAPPY.
I’M ALREADY UNHAPPY.
\h\h\h\h\hI NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
I KNOW.
\h\h\hJUST TELL ME, IS IT ALMOST OVER?
\h\h\h\hI DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN --
IT’S OVER.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI CAN’T TELL YOU HOW S-SORRY AND ASHAMED I AM.
\h\h\hI THOUGHT I COULD DO IT.
\h\h\hI THOUGHT I COULD BE THE GUY THAT I TOLD YOU
I WAS GOING TO BE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND THEN SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY...
\h\h...I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING YOU.
BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY ME.
I GOT LOST.
IT’S A CONFUSING WORLD \h\h\h\h\h\h\hOUT THERE,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND WHO I AM GOT MESSED UP FOR A MINUTE.
AND NOW I’M WATCHING YOU READY \h\h\hTO GIVE ALL THIS UP FOR ME.
\h\h\hI WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN.
\hI LOVE YOU, AND I WILL DO SO MUCH BETTER IF YOU’LL LET ME.
♪
PLEASE, JULES.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLET ME MAKE IT RIGHT AGAIN.
\h\h\h\h\hYOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE GOOD?
IF YOU CARRIED A HANDKERCHIEF.
\h\h\h\h\h\hHAVE YOU CALLED TOWNSEND YET?
BECAUSE IF I’VE EVER MET ANYONE \h\h\h\h\h\h\hWHO DOESN’T NEED A BOSS,
IT WAS YOU.
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL HIM AND TELL HIM I CHANGED MY MIND.
\h\h\h\h\hI MEAN, WE’RE GOOD HERE.
WE’RE GONNA MAKE IT.
I’M GONNA MAKE SURE \h\h\h\hWE MAKE IT.
GOOD.
♪
BECKY.
WHERE’S BEN?
I’M NOT SURE. HE SAID HE WAS TAKING THE DAY OFF.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
Fiona.
\hDo you know where Ben is?
♪
I’M SO SORRY TO INTERRUPT.
THAT’S OKAY.
EXTEND YOUR LEFT ARM, JULES.
LEFT KNEE UP...
\hBREATHE AND RELAX FOR INNER BALANCE.
-AM I DOING IT RIGHT? \h\h\h\h\h\h-ALMOST.
GOT SOMETHING GOOD \h\h\hTO TELL YOU.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hGREAT. TELL ME WHEN WE’RE DONE.
BREATHE DEEPLY, JULES.
THAT’S IT, OUT THERE.
THIS UP.
♪