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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Thank you so much.
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00:01:19,767 --> 00:01:23,353
Where in the Nativity story are
we supposed to fit a juggler?
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You said you'd
keep an open mind.
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There are more ways to celebrate the birth
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of Christ besides
singin' Joy to the World.
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Ladies.
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After the auditions, I was planning
to leave the show in your hands.
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But if you can't get along,
I will take it back
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and the pageant
will be two carols,
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the lady who juggles, and good night.
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We'll be fine.
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Of course, Chaplain.
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Who's next?
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So a penguin and a farmer
walk into a bar...
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This is a duck.
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This is a dolphin.
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This is a goose.
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Hark the Herald angels sing
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Glory to the newborn King
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Tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and...
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Joy to the world,
the Lord has come
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Here we go.
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Dashin' through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
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O'er the fields we go
Laughin' all the way
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Ha! Ha! Ha!
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Go, tell it on the mountain
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Over the hills and everywhere
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Go. Go, tell it
on the mountain...
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Merry Christmas.
Happy Hanukkah.
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Don't forget Kwanzaa.
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Watch out, old Jesus is back!
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Black Cindy!
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I can sing, too. You know, in
addition to the ice skating.
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And so the penguin says, "Dude, he's
not an eggplant, he's retarded."
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It lost me at the umbrellas.
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"Be not afraid, for behold, I
bring good tidings of great joy."
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Thank you, Doggett.
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I assume by your
choice of material,
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you're interested in
the part of an angel?
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00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,529
Yes, ma'am.
That's correct,
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because last year I was up
on this stage as the ox,
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and the year before
that I was the ass.
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And so, I dunno about y'all,
but I'm really startin'
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to feel like you're tryin'
to assassinate my character.
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'Cause I know that I am ready
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to shine my light
for the shepherds
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and announce across the land the
miracle of baby Jesus Christ.
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Mr. Healy, I know that
I said a lot of things.
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What do you want, Chapman?
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I need a marriage request form.
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You need a form
and my approval,
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which you don't have.
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Please, Mr. Healy.
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Marriage is a privilege.
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You are not entitled to it.
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And to use one of your own delightful
phrases, "Go fuck yourself."
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Yup.
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What part of "out of
the kitchen effective
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"immediately" did
you not understand?
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Without my produce order, I have
to re-plan the whole holiday menu.
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I can't sit on
the bench all day
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while you play out
this little power trip.
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We'll all be eating
sardines for Christmas.
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You're gonna be
eating prison loaf
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when I drag you to Seg by that
purple pelt on your head.
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Now, have some self-respect
and don't make me do it.
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It feels serious in here.
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It smells good, though.
What kind of soup is that?
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Navy bean.
I'll save you a bowl.
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Gloria, you are reassigned
to the kitchen.
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Head cook, queen bee.
You start now.
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00:06:04,801 --> 00:06:05,928
Can I bring my people?
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00:06:06,095 --> 00:06:08,097
Whatever you need to do.
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Get the forms from O'Neill.
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This is bullshit
and you know it.
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This whole place will
fall apart when I'm gone.
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Let's go.
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No, originally from Poughkeepsie,
well, outside of Poughkeepsie.
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Go on.
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So, after the
tragedy with Miller,
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I was determined to find out if drugs
were in fact coming into the prison.
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I thought, um...
I had a hunch.
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So when the vegetable truck pulled
up, I went through the boxes.
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Let me stop you there.
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So, you went through
the boxes before they
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actually came
onto the property?
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That's correct.
At the gate.
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So you didn't find drugs in the
kitchen or on prison grounds?
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No, ma'am, the pills were
in a box of cabbage,
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and I brought them
straight to Caputo.
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Okay.
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Well, Bennett.
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00:06:53,016 --> 00:06:54,101
Uh, John?
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Yeah.
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00:06:57,311 --> 00:07:02,358
John, your intentions
were so good here,
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00:07:02,484 --> 00:07:04,153
but from what
you're telling me,
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00:07:04,278 --> 00:07:07,781
Neptune's Produce didn't
bring drugs into the prison.
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00:07:07,864 --> 00:07:09,158
You did.
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00:07:10,867 --> 00:07:12,535
What are you
talkin' about?
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00:07:12,661 --> 00:07:16,623
You just said that you found
the drugs in the cabbage
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before the truck
pulled onto the campus,
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00:07:19,835 --> 00:07:22,171
and then you brought
them to Caputo.
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00:07:22,337 --> 00:07:24,214
- That's right, but...
- John,
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00:07:25,340 --> 00:07:28,426
you are one of the good guys.
I know that.
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So, I want to protect you.
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00:07:31,180 --> 00:07:34,183
I think it's best if you don't
fill out a report on this.
108
00:07:34,474 --> 00:07:36,643
But they were going
to the kitchen.
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It's not like the truck
was making stops
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between the front gate
and the loading dock.
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We don't know that.
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- Of course we do.
- Bennett,
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I am so impressed by
how you've handled things.
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And you know what? I am going
to authorize incentive pay.
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That's an extra $130 a month.
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- Thank you, but...
- Now...
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Hmm.
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You go do your job and let
me take it from here.
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00:08:01,335 --> 00:08:02,544
Okay, John?
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00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:07,590
- Howard, Larry's here!
- Hey, Pop.
121
00:08:07,716 --> 00:08:08,842
You want
a cup of decaf?
122
00:08:08,925 --> 00:08:10,886
I have this vanilla
coconut creamer I put in.
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00:08:11,011 --> 00:08:12,095
It's delicious.
I'll make you one.
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00:08:12,221 --> 00:08:13,222
- Thanks, Ma.
- Mmm.
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00:08:13,847 --> 00:08:15,390
You read about this
Google Glass thing?
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00:08:15,473 --> 00:08:16,808
We're gonna all
look like cyborgs.
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00:08:17,351 --> 00:08:19,686
Cyborgs? Aren't those your
neighbors down in Florida?
128
00:08:19,811 --> 00:08:21,563
So, to what do we
owe this pleasure?
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00:08:21,938 --> 00:08:24,316
I went to the movies on
86th, so, I was nearby.
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00:08:24,399 --> 00:08:25,901
- Anything good?
- Nah.
131
00:08:25,984 --> 00:08:27,505
My friends
loved your radio thing.
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00:08:27,569 --> 00:08:29,821
Everyone was talking
about it at mahjong.
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Did Piper enjoy it? I never
got the full report from you.
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00:08:32,908 --> 00:08:35,911
Uh, she had some
issues with it.
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00:08:36,036 --> 00:08:38,872
But, uh, we talked
them through.
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00:08:39,873 --> 00:08:43,043
And then we kept talking and
at the end of our talk,
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00:08:43,168 --> 00:08:45,754
we decided that we were gonna
get married right away.
138
00:08:45,837 --> 00:08:48,215
While she's still in there.
139
00:08:48,298 --> 00:08:49,591
As soon as possible.
140
00:08:49,716 --> 00:08:51,134
So...
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00:08:53,178 --> 00:08:55,764
That's really the full
report, since you asked.
142
00:09:00,977 --> 00:09:03,105
I think this is the longest you
two have ever been silent.
143
00:09:03,188 --> 00:09:04,814
Why are you rushing this?
144
00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:07,442
I want to start my life, Ma.
145
00:09:07,567 --> 00:09:09,611
I want to know that
we are committed
146
00:09:09,694 --> 00:09:11,613
and that our commitment
is taken seriously.
147
00:09:11,738 --> 00:09:13,740
So, take it seriously.
You need a paper for that?
148
00:09:14,116 --> 00:09:16,451
You've known we were getting married, Dad.
This is not new information.
149
00:09:16,576 --> 00:09:19,246
The point is that Piper is
spending a year in an institution.
150
00:09:19,329 --> 00:09:21,706
You can't tell what she's gonna
be like when she gets out.
151
00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:23,959
Or when she gets
out, for that matter.
152
00:09:24,042 --> 00:09:25,377
Things are arbitrary in there.
153
00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:27,129
You give someone the wrong
look on the wrong day...
154
00:09:28,338 --> 00:09:30,382
Why don't you just wait and
see how things turn out?
155
00:09:30,465 --> 00:09:32,717
Yeah, if you meet someone else
in the meantime, you'll have...
156
00:09:32,801 --> 00:09:36,972
I don't want to wait and see. I don't
want to meet anyone else, okay?
157
00:09:37,055 --> 00:09:40,058
I love her and I want to spend
the rest of my life with her.
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00:09:40,142 --> 00:09:41,726
In all her ways.
159
00:09:41,935 --> 00:09:44,104
She's had some
interesting ways so far.
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00:09:44,187 --> 00:09:46,606
Girl ways. Boy ways. Drug ways.
161
00:09:46,689 --> 00:09:47,816
Ma!
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00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:52,279
I get it, Larry, she's a natural blonde.
She's exotic for you.
163
00:09:52,988 --> 00:09:56,491
But exotic is for pets and vacations,
it's not for making a life.
164
00:09:57,326 --> 00:10:00,287
You think I'm that shallow?
I know her.
165
00:10:00,454 --> 00:10:02,497
She is exciting,
I'll give you that,
166
00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:04,624
but does she share your values?
167
00:10:04,791 --> 00:10:06,001
Will she be a good mother?
168
00:10:06,084 --> 00:10:08,837
Does she make you feel
good about yourself?
169
00:10:09,421 --> 00:10:10,464
I think so.
170
00:10:10,546 --> 00:10:11,756
Why, you can't remember?
171
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,176
Yes, she does.
Of course she does.
172
00:10:15,177 --> 00:10:19,181
Look, we've been together a long time.
We're invested.
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00:10:19,348 --> 00:10:21,057
Are you calculating
your opportunity costs
174
00:10:21,183 --> 00:10:22,434
or are you
discussing love here?
175
00:10:22,517 --> 00:10:24,853
Why don't you just
wait until she gets out?
176
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:27,814
See if you're still compatible.
Spend some time.
177
00:10:27,897 --> 00:10:29,483
Larry, why are you
in such a hurry?
178
00:10:30,859 --> 00:10:32,235
It's not like
she's going anywhere.
179
00:10:32,361 --> 00:10:34,361
What, are you afraid she's
gonna meet someone else?
180
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,789
Well, if it isn't
the invisible woman.
181
00:10:44,873 --> 00:10:48,710
One intense talk about the
future and you disappear on me.
182
00:10:49,211 --> 00:10:52,422
Not a shocker, but I had
gotten my hopes up.
183
00:10:56,343 --> 00:10:57,886
I'm getting married.
184
00:10:58,678 --> 00:11:01,431
You've been getting married
since before you got here.
185
00:11:01,931 --> 00:11:03,558
This is not news.
186
00:11:05,935 --> 00:11:07,561
Say what you really mean.
187
00:11:12,401 --> 00:11:16,279
I pick him.
I pick Larry.
188
00:11:21,826 --> 00:11:23,453
Of course you do.
189
00:11:23,703 --> 00:11:25,455
I love you, too.
190
00:11:28,458 --> 00:11:30,085
But we both know
I don't have the balls
191
00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:31,794
to free fall through
life with you.
192
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,755
No. You don't.
193
00:11:36,383 --> 00:11:38,927
At least I made a decision, right?
194
00:11:39,302 --> 00:11:40,554
Aren't you proud of me?
195
00:11:41,930 --> 00:11:43,223
Piper...
196
00:11:46,142 --> 00:11:47,269
Fuck you.
197
00:11:47,436 --> 00:11:49,104
- Alex...
- Listen...
198
00:11:50,939 --> 00:11:52,399
Yes.
199
00:11:52,982 --> 00:11:54,317
You have made a decision.
200
00:11:55,026 --> 00:11:57,446
So here is what it
means going forward.
201
00:12:00,115 --> 00:12:04,411
You may not come running to me again.
Not with your problems.
202
00:12:04,578 --> 00:12:06,288
Not with your love.
203
00:12:07,497 --> 00:12:10,459
Not with your need
or sadness or anger,
204
00:12:10,542 --> 00:12:14,212
or even your laundry when it's not
specifically your laundry day.
205
00:12:15,797 --> 00:12:18,425
You may never come to me again.
206
00:12:21,177 --> 00:12:22,471
Ever.
207
00:12:36,359 --> 00:12:38,487
Well, what do you know?
208
00:12:38,652 --> 00:12:40,113
Jesus. What are
you doing here?
209
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,782
Relax, man. Just here to
get my paycheck, shit.
210
00:12:42,865 --> 00:12:44,326
Oh, It's nice to see
you, too, buddy.
211
00:12:44,451 --> 00:12:46,328
Sorry. I'm just... It's
a surprise, I mean.
212
00:12:46,495 --> 00:12:49,164
Spit it out.
Have you seen her?
213
00:12:49,289 --> 00:12:50,582
You gave her my note, right?
214
00:12:50,664 --> 00:12:51,874
I wrote her a letter,
didn't put my name on it.
215
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,585
But she'll know who it's from.
She say anything?
216
00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:55,170
- Who?
- Who?
217
00:12:55,295 --> 00:12:59,048
My girl, man! Fuck! Oh, God, I
can't keep my brain off of her!
218
00:12:59,174 --> 00:13:01,593
What do you think you're
gonna do about that?
219
00:13:01,717 --> 00:13:04,846
Man's greatest struggle in life
is to find a woman who's sexy
220
00:13:04,971 --> 00:13:06,556
but, like, still
could be a mom.
221
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,224
She's that, Benny.
222
00:13:08,350 --> 00:13:11,269
I feel like she
could be the one.
223
00:13:11,436 --> 00:13:13,729
You know, I see myself
buying sheets with her.
224
00:13:13,855 --> 00:13:15,607
Taking trips to Mount Rushmore.
225
00:13:15,689 --> 00:13:16,690
That's great.
226
00:13:16,774 --> 00:13:18,734
Oh, she's got
these lips, Jesus!
227
00:13:18,860 --> 00:13:20,445
I had no idea. I always
dated women with thin lips.
228
00:13:20,529 --> 00:13:21,946
It's a fucking revelation.
229
00:13:22,030 --> 00:13:23,365
Isn't something on the
record with you guys now?
230
00:13:23,448 --> 00:13:24,824
I mean, how does that play out?
231
00:13:24,949 --> 00:13:26,201
I dunno, but whatever
it is, she's worth it.
232
00:13:26,284 --> 00:13:28,578
Hey, if you get any info, intel,
insight, fucking call me, all right?
233
00:13:28,702 --> 00:13:30,783
- Happy holidays, man.
- Hey, what about your paycheck?
234
00:13:32,706 --> 00:13:34,792
You know your
lines yet for the pageant?
235
00:13:34,876 --> 00:13:37,253
I dunno. 'Cause I
can't concentrate
236
00:13:37,379 --> 00:13:39,506
with Satan's Girl Scout
skipping around.
237
00:13:39,964 --> 00:13:43,426
I was a Girl Scout.
Troop 247.
238
00:13:43,801 --> 00:13:45,887
They taught
us how to use tampons.
239
00:13:48,223 --> 00:13:52,602
You are still on
probationary term, Leanne.
240
00:13:52,726 --> 00:13:54,521
Don't be talking
about tampons while
241
00:13:54,604 --> 00:13:57,399
I'm sittin' here plottin' my revenge.
Thanks.
242
00:13:58,608 --> 00:14:00,109
Okay, I figured it out.
243
00:14:00,235 --> 00:14:02,237
She don't need God. That
was a misinterpretation.
244
00:14:02,362 --> 00:14:05,240
I went back to my book
to find some answers.
245
00:14:05,323 --> 00:14:07,116
I needed a clear answer.
246
00:14:07,242 --> 00:14:10,579
Luke, 19:27,
Jesus said,
247
00:14:10,704 --> 00:14:12,288
"But those mine enemies,
248
00:14:12,414 --> 00:14:15,375
"which would not that
I should reign over them,
249
00:14:15,458 --> 00:14:19,212
"bring hither, and
slay them before me."
250
00:14:20,088 --> 00:14:23,258
And I found it. I found it.
I turned right to the page.
251
00:14:23,383 --> 00:14:27,136
Now if that ain't a sign,
I don't know what is.
252
00:14:30,265 --> 00:14:33,935
Is it just me, or are these
eggs, like, extra spicy?
253
00:14:34,018 --> 00:14:35,562
My mouth is on fire.
254
00:14:37,439 --> 00:14:40,191
Okay, so, for Secret Santa,
255
00:14:40,275 --> 00:14:44,738
I've got you guys, Red, Norma,
Gina, I'm putting Alex in.
256
00:14:45,614 --> 00:14:47,115
Think we should ask Chapman?
257
00:14:47,198 --> 00:14:49,618
Hmm. I think she'd
give good gifts.
258
00:14:49,867 --> 00:14:53,288
Come on, you guys, Secret Santa
is supposed to be like family.
259
00:14:53,455 --> 00:14:56,249
What, you honestly think
Chapman and Vause are family?
260
00:14:56,332 --> 00:14:57,917
Well, I think it's nice.
261
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,045
We don't have Mercy anymore.
And Tricia.
262
00:15:05,841 --> 00:15:08,970
Let's throw 'em in. Expand the circle.
It's fucking Christmas.
263
00:15:09,137 --> 00:15:12,056
All right. All right. Hey, you
gonna finish those eggs...
264
00:15:12,181 --> 00:15:16,394
No! No! You can't have these.
They're good this morning.
265
00:15:16,561 --> 00:15:18,896
Do not say that to Red.
Whatever you do.
266
00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:22,525
As far as we're concerned,
breakfast was a mess, capisce?
267
00:15:22,692 --> 00:15:24,152
Hmm. Yeah.
Of course.
268
00:15:24,277 --> 00:15:26,488
Sure. But when she gets
back in the kitchen,
269
00:15:26,571 --> 00:15:28,332
could you ask her to
make the eggs like this?
270
00:15:28,364 --> 00:15:30,492
Because they are delicious.
271
00:15:32,076 --> 00:15:33,953
You're both asking
for fuckin' trouble.
272
00:15:35,538 --> 00:15:39,501
Chapman, hello.
Happy holidays.
273
00:15:39,709 --> 00:15:41,127
Happy holidays.
274
00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:43,087
You are a first time offender
275
00:15:43,171 --> 00:15:46,508
with a short sentence,
and you're white.
276
00:15:47,133 --> 00:15:48,968
Which means there
are a lot of programs
277
00:15:49,051 --> 00:15:50,845
here that you probably
are not aware of,
278
00:15:50,928 --> 00:15:53,014
because you're lucky
enough not to meet them.
279
00:15:53,139 --> 00:15:54,182
I'm sure.
280
00:15:54,307 --> 00:15:55,642
Like the GED program.
281
00:15:55,725 --> 00:15:58,603
We've allocated some funds to
bring that back in the new year.
282
00:15:58,812 --> 00:16:00,438
Well, that's great to hear.
283
00:16:01,147 --> 00:16:03,274
I don't personally
care for talk radio.
284
00:16:03,358 --> 00:16:07,195
The incessant chatting gives me
a migraine, but some people do,
285
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,739
and apparently, some
of these little shows
286
00:16:09,864 --> 00:16:12,492
have fans that write articles.
287
00:16:13,117 --> 00:16:15,787
Oh. This is about
Larry's radio thing.
288
00:16:15,870 --> 00:16:19,332
Yeah. I believe he got
some of the facts wrong.
289
00:16:19,457 --> 00:16:21,710
But, you know,
it's not a news story.
290
00:16:21,835 --> 00:16:27,006
It's more like, um,
storytelling.
291
00:16:27,089 --> 00:16:28,216
Did you listen to it?
292
00:16:28,299 --> 00:16:29,300
No.
293
00:16:31,177 --> 00:16:33,221
So, here's what
I need from you.
294
00:16:33,346 --> 00:16:36,932
On the off chance that there's
a follow-up storytelling,
295
00:16:37,058 --> 00:16:41,771
it would be great if your husband
could be better informed
296
00:16:41,896 --> 00:16:44,232
about all we're trying
to accomplish here.
297
00:16:44,315 --> 00:16:45,859
Here's a list.
298
00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:54,868
Of course.
299
00:16:56,244 --> 00:16:58,413
I would be happy to make
sure he's up to speed.
300
00:16:59,622 --> 00:17:02,667
I mean, that would only
serve all of us, right?
301
00:17:03,084 --> 00:17:04,085
That's right.
302
00:17:04,168 --> 00:17:05,253
But, you know,
303
00:17:05,336 --> 00:17:08,423
I'm not the only one who's
been talking to Larry.
304
00:17:08,506 --> 00:17:10,633
Counselor Healy
has spoken with him.
305
00:17:11,050 --> 00:17:13,261
Why was Healy speaking
to your husband?
306
00:17:13,678 --> 00:17:15,221
He called to tell him
I was having
307
00:17:15,304 --> 00:17:17,599
a lesbian affair
with another inmate.
308
00:17:18,224 --> 00:17:19,559
Oh, good Christ.
309
00:17:19,642 --> 00:17:21,394
No, no, that's okay.
310
00:17:22,645 --> 00:17:25,899
It's probably just another
case of misinformation.
311
00:17:27,609 --> 00:17:28,902
What's your angle, Chapman?
312
00:17:29,110 --> 00:17:33,281
You know, you keep referring
to Larry as my husband?
313
00:17:33,448 --> 00:17:36,534
But we're not married yet.
Though we do hope to be.
314
00:17:37,159 --> 00:17:40,580
So, that means, I need a
marriage request form,
315
00:17:40,663 --> 00:17:43,875
and, of course, your approval.
316
00:17:45,251 --> 00:17:50,465
And I would be happy to make
sure that my new husband
317
00:17:51,090 --> 00:17:53,843
is up to speed with all of the
318
00:17:55,094 --> 00:17:57,263
great work you're
doing here at Litchfield.
319
00:17:59,599 --> 00:18:02,518
I am sure we could
arrange something.
320
00:18:08,149 --> 00:18:10,902
All of us in the
kitchen, making tamales.
321
00:18:11,653 --> 00:18:13,404
Almost feels like
Christmas at home.
322
00:18:13,529 --> 00:18:14,530
Hmm.
323
00:18:14,864 --> 00:18:19,494
Yea, except my Uncle Fernando
ain't around to stick his hand down my pants.
324
00:18:19,619 --> 00:18:20,829
Please, speak English.
325
00:18:20,954 --> 00:18:22,747
How about you learn Spanish?
326
00:18:22,831 --> 00:18:26,000
In my family, it's Cousin Frankie.
Fuckin' perv.
327
00:18:26,083 --> 00:18:29,253
My mother hit him with a brick
when he messed with my niece once.
328
00:18:30,463 --> 00:18:32,006
She broke his cheekbone.
329
00:18:32,089 --> 00:18:36,010
Now half his face is kinda sunk in.
Serves him right.
330
00:18:36,218 --> 00:18:38,513
My daughter's with my cousin
331
00:18:38,596 --> 00:18:40,473
at some marimacha
collective she's part of.
332
00:18:41,390 --> 00:18:42,600
Not a dick for miles.
333
00:18:42,684 --> 00:18:43,844
And I want it so.
334
00:18:43,852 --> 00:18:46,855
- You ain't worried they'll turn her gay?
- She's a baby.
335
00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:48,341
And I only got a year.
336
00:18:50,191 --> 00:18:52,109
I'll get her back before
she knows anything.
337
00:18:54,028 --> 00:18:56,906
Immigration! Hands
where I can see 'em.
338
00:18:58,950 --> 00:19:00,284
Hmm. Funny, cabrona.
339
00:19:02,370 --> 00:19:05,080
Hey, the Squirrel and
the Silent One nearby?
340
00:19:05,247 --> 00:19:08,209
Out back. But not too long,
'cause they got work to do.
341
00:19:08,376 --> 00:19:09,418
All right.
342
00:19:11,587 --> 00:19:15,299
Hey, hey, Tweedles, time to draw
your names for Secret Santa.
343
00:19:15,383 --> 00:19:18,052
Now, Norma, I'll remind
you again, it's a secret,
344
00:19:18,177 --> 00:19:19,971
so don't go blabbing
all over camp.
345
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:23,683
If you pick your own name, just
put it back and pull again.
346
00:19:27,102 --> 00:19:28,103
Really?
347
00:19:29,022 --> 00:19:30,064
You seen Red?
348
00:19:30,147 --> 00:19:33,192
No, not yet.
How's she doing?
349
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:36,362
She wouldn't leave the cube this morning.
She won't show up for work.
350
00:19:36,445 --> 00:19:37,488
I said, "They're
gonna throw you
351
00:19:37,572 --> 00:19:38,781
"in the SHU if you
don't go to work,"
352
00:19:38,907 --> 00:19:41,027
but then she gave me that
look that makes my ass leak.
353
00:19:42,243 --> 00:19:44,370
I am familiar with that look.
354
00:19:44,537 --> 00:19:46,080
You gotta talk to her.
355
00:19:47,749 --> 00:19:49,333
And what am I supposed to say?
356
00:19:49,417 --> 00:19:50,752
That it's all gonna be okay?
357
00:19:51,252 --> 00:19:54,171
She's a very bright woman.
She knows how fucked she is.
358
00:19:54,547 --> 00:19:58,426
Please, Nicky. She's
really not in a good way.
359
00:20:02,764 --> 00:20:04,098
I'll see what I can do.
360
00:20:06,225 --> 00:20:07,226
Ooh!
361
00:20:07,309 --> 00:20:09,062
Diaz got an interesting one.
362
00:20:09,144 --> 00:20:10,813
Mom Diaz or daughter Diaz?
363
00:20:10,939 --> 00:20:12,231
Daughter.
364
00:20:12,314 --> 00:20:15,735
"Dayanara, I think of
your body all the time.
365
00:20:16,110 --> 00:20:19,906
"I'll be doing something else,
something normal, like driving my car
366
00:20:20,155 --> 00:20:25,620
"or making spaghetti, and then I
see you there in my brain, naked.
367
00:20:25,954 --> 00:20:29,040
"I can barely write this
letter I get so turned on.
368
00:20:29,123 --> 00:20:31,333
"You cast a spell on me.
369
00:20:31,459 --> 00:20:35,504
"And, baby, I hope that
spell is never undone.
370
00:20:35,630 --> 00:20:37,632
"Until we see
each other again."
371
00:20:37,715 --> 00:20:41,677
Signed, "Hot for you."
But with the number four.
372
00:20:41,803 --> 00:20:43,137
Poor schmuck.
373
00:20:43,262 --> 00:20:45,473
Guess he doesn't know
Mendez stuck it in her.
374
00:20:45,598 --> 00:20:47,224
And what's the
latest with that?
375
00:20:47,308 --> 00:20:48,476
So far just a suspension.
376
00:20:48,559 --> 00:20:50,401
Captain's not saying
anything about it, though.
377
00:20:50,436 --> 00:20:51,646
And he won't. Watch.
378
00:20:51,729 --> 00:20:53,773
Diaz'll get transferred
and Mendez will be back.
379
00:20:53,856 --> 00:20:55,650
They love that sadistic fuck.
380
00:20:55,733 --> 00:20:57,944
You just gotta let
the jizz settle first.
381
00:20:59,821 --> 00:21:03,407
Hey, check this out. Vause got
one from Chapman's fiance.
382
00:21:03,532 --> 00:21:05,284
Ooh, scandal!
383
00:21:05,785 --> 00:21:09,998
He's asking, will she add
him to her visitation list?
384
00:21:10,081 --> 00:21:11,874
"We need to talk," he says.
385
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,640
You think they're
conspiring on something?
386
00:21:13,668 --> 00:21:15,169
Yeah. A threesome.
387
00:21:17,171 --> 00:21:20,382
Been thinkin' about that, have you?
Chapman and Vause?
388
00:21:20,925 --> 00:21:23,260
I'm not saying something
we don't all know.
389
00:21:30,184 --> 00:21:32,937
There she is.
And standing up!
390
00:21:33,604 --> 00:21:34,981
I heard you'd gone horizontal.
391
00:21:35,106 --> 00:21:38,693
I'm not here. I'm outside
raking dirt somewhere.
392
00:21:38,860 --> 00:21:40,235
You don't see me.
393
00:21:41,403 --> 00:21:44,284
All right. You gotta
pick your name for the Secret Santa.
394
00:21:44,615 --> 00:21:47,535
Not this year, Nicky.
I'm not in the mood.
395
00:21:47,702 --> 00:21:50,245
Come on, Red.
You love Christmas.
396
00:21:50,371 --> 00:21:53,708
Your sons come up, I mean,
with their big-haired wives.
397
00:21:53,833 --> 00:21:56,460
I can't wait to see what
Sparkle Tits wears this year.
398
00:21:56,544 --> 00:21:58,880
Sparkle Tits and
Yuri have split.
399
00:21:59,254 --> 00:22:01,883
She took the kids and the
tits and the guinea pig
400
00:22:01,966 --> 00:22:03,634
and moved to Sheepshead Bay.
401
00:22:09,765 --> 00:22:11,225
So, how was breakfast?
402
00:22:11,893 --> 00:22:15,479
Spicy. And my
potatoes were cold.
403
00:22:15,938 --> 00:22:17,773
But it wasn't a disaster?
404
00:22:19,942 --> 00:22:22,184
I heard that someone found a
long black hair in her eggs,
405
00:22:22,235 --> 00:22:23,905
but it went unconfirmed.
406
00:22:26,115 --> 00:22:29,702
What? Should we have
gone on a hunger strike?
407
00:22:29,911 --> 00:22:32,121
They all work in
kitchens now, don't they?
408
00:22:32,245 --> 00:22:34,707
They pop out of a trunk of a
car and learn to fry an egg.
409
00:22:34,790 --> 00:22:36,084
God bless America.
410
00:22:36,249 --> 00:22:38,419
You can't blame Gloria.
411
00:22:38,544 --> 00:22:40,664
She's just trying to make the
best of a bad situation.
412
00:22:40,838 --> 00:22:44,257
Fucking Mendez. This is not
how it was supposed to go.
413
00:22:44,425 --> 00:22:47,220
None of this is how
it's supposed to go.
414
00:22:47,762 --> 00:22:51,057
You're tougher than woodpecker lips.
You'll be okay.
415
00:22:56,604 --> 00:23:00,691
Here. Just get whoever
it is something nice.
416
00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:04,528
It's good karma. Sometimes
that shit comes back around.
417
00:23:14,956 --> 00:23:16,289
All clear!
418
00:23:18,626 --> 00:23:20,586
Heard you broke up
with your girl.
419
00:23:21,503 --> 00:23:24,632
Wow. Twitter's got
nothing on prison.
420
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,341
You feel bad?
421
00:23:27,051 --> 00:23:28,928
I feel like I did
what I needed to do.
422
00:23:29,804 --> 00:23:30,888
She mad?
423
00:23:31,139 --> 00:23:32,140
Yep.
424
00:23:32,265 --> 00:23:34,642
Mad enough to leave
a dead rat on your locker?
425
00:23:34,725 --> 00:23:35,893
What?
426
00:23:37,310 --> 00:23:38,437
Whoa!
427
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,023
What the fuck? No, no,
no, she didn't do that.
428
00:23:41,149 --> 00:23:43,692
Do you think that that thing
just crawled up here and died?
429
00:23:43,818 --> 00:23:46,154
No. This a message rat.
430
00:23:46,279 --> 00:23:48,321
Someone say they
gonna kill you.
431
00:23:48,405 --> 00:23:49,448
Say it right here.
432
00:23:49,991 --> 00:23:56,831
See, they meant "you're," apostrophe R-E.
As in, you are gonna die.
433
00:23:56,914 --> 00:23:59,332
But this some
ignorant bitch-ass shit.
434
00:23:59,458 --> 00:24:01,002
What's an Amalekite?
435
00:24:01,127 --> 00:24:02,711
I think it's some Bible stuff.
436
00:24:02,837 --> 00:24:05,006
Hey, yo, Black Cindy.
Come here.
437
00:24:05,173 --> 00:24:07,967
Stuff. I bet this was that
crazy fucking hillbilly.
438
00:24:08,092 --> 00:24:09,177
What's up?
439
00:24:09,302 --> 00:24:11,804
- You was raised in the church, right?
- I was,
440
00:24:13,764 --> 00:24:15,266
but like my daddy say...
441
00:24:15,348 --> 00:24:21,354
The Lord don't take
the wuzzers into the kingdom
442
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:25,776
He take the izzers Yeah!
443
00:24:27,862 --> 00:24:29,780
Uh, so what's an Amalekite?
444
00:24:30,614 --> 00:24:31,740
- Amalekite?
- Mmm-hmm.
445
00:24:31,866 --> 00:24:35,536
Oh, they real baddies in the Bible.
Attackin' everybody.
446
00:24:35,661 --> 00:24:38,539
Preying on the weak and shit.
A war tribe.
447
00:24:38,956 --> 00:24:43,336
Ooh, in Samuel, God told
Saul to kill 'em all.
448
00:24:44,545 --> 00:24:47,882
Utterly destroy them motherfuckers.
That what God say.
449
00:24:47,965 --> 00:24:51,344
Even the babies.
Even the cows.
450
00:24:52,053 --> 00:24:53,888
They so bad their
cows had to die.
451
00:24:54,513 --> 00:24:55,723
Say anything about rats?
452
00:24:56,515 --> 00:24:57,725
No. Mmm-mmm.
453
00:24:58,433 --> 00:25:00,728
Okay, this is nuts.
454
00:25:00,853 --> 00:25:01,937
It is.
455
00:25:02,355 --> 00:25:03,731
I have to tell someone.
456
00:25:04,565 --> 00:25:07,776
Right. 'Cause
COs love trouble.
457
00:25:08,194 --> 00:25:10,279
Man, you say something,
458
00:25:10,403 --> 00:25:12,740
they gonna put you in Seg
"for your own protection,"
459
00:25:12,823 --> 00:25:14,575
just so they ain't gotta deal.
460
00:25:14,658 --> 00:25:16,077
True, true.
461
00:25:16,202 --> 00:25:19,705
You gotta handle this yourself.
Straight up. Cut.
462
00:25:21,414 --> 00:25:22,615
Well, what am I supposed to do?
463
00:25:22,624 --> 00:25:24,752
Kill that
motherfucker. Out.
464
00:25:30,507 --> 00:25:32,260
I seen dead everything.
465
00:25:32,343 --> 00:25:34,220
Did you explain to
her about the inventory?
466
00:25:34,303 --> 00:25:36,931
That protein order has
to last into next month.
467
00:25:37,056 --> 00:25:38,140
I'll come back and
there will be nothing
468
00:25:38,266 --> 00:25:39,641
but scraps for me to work with.
469
00:25:39,767 --> 00:25:41,143
They all talk Spanish
when we're around.
470
00:25:41,269 --> 00:25:43,271
Listen, Jesus.
471
00:25:43,436 --> 00:25:45,940
She may have fed
a quinceanera or two,
472
00:25:46,023 --> 00:25:47,858
but this will catch up
with her soon enough.
473
00:25:47,942 --> 00:25:50,443
Feeding an entire
prison population day in
474
00:25:50,569 --> 00:25:52,613
and day out is a whole
other pot of fish stew
475
00:25:52,696 --> 00:25:54,447
and when she
starts to drown in it,
476
00:25:54,573 --> 00:25:56,174
we'll be the ones
who will pay the price.
477
00:25:56,284 --> 00:25:59,745
It'll take us weeks to put
everything back into working order.
478
00:26:00,288 --> 00:26:02,164
This is what I need you to do.
479
00:26:02,957 --> 00:26:04,959
Speed up the inevitable.
480
00:26:06,335 --> 00:26:08,254
Overcook, over-salt.
481
00:26:08,461 --> 00:26:10,131
We need the inmates to revolt.
482
00:26:10,298 --> 00:26:12,216
Red, we're
on the B-team.
483
00:26:12,300 --> 00:26:14,218
We don't go anywhere
near food prep anymore.
484
00:26:14,302 --> 00:26:16,637
She's got us
stacking boxes, serving...
485
00:26:17,305 --> 00:26:19,265
Well, start serving
very slowly then.
486
00:26:19,348 --> 00:26:21,809
The meal times will
be all screwed up.
487
00:26:21,934 --> 00:26:23,476
It'll throw the whole camp off.
488
00:26:23,978 --> 00:26:25,146
Yeah, I don't know.
489
00:26:25,229 --> 00:26:27,440
I mean, she runs a pretty
tight ship, right, Norma?
490
00:26:27,522 --> 00:26:28,649
I don't think
we'll get away with it.
491
00:26:28,774 --> 00:26:31,193
Don't think, Gina.
Just do it.
492
00:26:31,319 --> 00:26:34,363
You want to be stacking boxes
for the rest of your stay?
493
00:26:34,487 --> 00:26:36,740
You listen to
what I'm telling you,
494
00:26:36,824 --> 00:26:38,659
you need to fuck
with that kitchen.
495
00:26:38,784 --> 00:26:39,865
You fuck with this kitchen,
496
00:26:39,868 --> 00:26:40,911
I'll have you
outta here so fast
497
00:26:40,995 --> 00:26:41,996
you'll think your
ass grew wheels.
498
00:26:42,121 --> 00:26:43,496
Hey, we just wanna
do a good job.
499
00:26:43,580 --> 00:26:45,874
Yeah? Then why you in here
sniffin' around the dry goods
500
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,252
when I asked you to wipe
down the service station?
501
00:26:49,253 --> 00:26:53,174
Yeah, yeah, yeah, mira, I got four
kids, I know every trick there is.
502
00:26:53,841 --> 00:26:56,677
Now, I kept you here
'cause you know your shit.
503
00:26:57,386 --> 00:26:59,512
It's not your fault
that Red lost the kitchen.
504
00:26:59,638 --> 00:27:02,641
But we all know this
is one of the good jobs.
505
00:27:02,850 --> 00:27:05,019
Don't let Red take
you down with her.
506
00:27:07,688 --> 00:27:09,064
Vamos, let's go.
507
00:27:09,482 --> 00:27:11,524
Maybe she's just
trying to engage me.
508
00:27:11,650 --> 00:27:15,154
She says that thing about the
Amalekites, piques my interest,
509
00:27:15,237 --> 00:27:18,282
and then she can get me to
go to Bible study group.
510
00:27:19,825 --> 00:27:21,035
She's a weird girl.
511
00:27:21,118 --> 00:27:23,400
- Yeah. "You gonna die" was really vague.
- Ha!
512
00:27:23,454 --> 00:27:25,498
Like, totally open
to interpretation.
513
00:27:25,831 --> 00:27:29,043
You know that tweakhead is coming
for you, you better prepare.
514
00:27:29,126 --> 00:27:31,628
All right, listen,
chick steps up,
515
00:27:32,087 --> 00:27:33,881
kick her straight in the cooch.
516
00:27:33,964 --> 00:27:36,050
Hurts just as much on
girls as it do on guys.
517
00:27:36,175 --> 00:27:37,301
Mmm-hmm.
518
00:27:37,385 --> 00:27:39,720
Yeah, yeah, but if you
punchin', you go for the nose.
519
00:27:39,803 --> 00:27:41,180
Biff! Swap!
You know what I mean?
520
00:27:41,347 --> 00:27:44,599
I still say the pookacha.
Shot to the twat.
521
00:27:45,434 --> 00:27:47,144
Yo! Then, when
she doubled over,
522
00:27:47,269 --> 00:27:49,021
- elbow straight to the back.
- Like...
523
00:27:49,230 --> 00:27:51,482
- Bitch out!
- What? Gone!
524
00:27:51,564 --> 00:27:53,359
Pow, pow, pow,
pow! Whomp!
525
00:27:55,861 --> 00:27:58,322
Okay, come on,
you guys, come on!
526
00:27:58,406 --> 00:28:00,824
With Red, I just had to come
up with a creative solution.
527
00:28:00,908 --> 00:28:02,701
So, maybe we should think
along those lines.
528
00:28:04,245 --> 00:28:06,080
Figure out something
she really needs.
529
00:28:07,415 --> 00:28:08,999
What is something
that she really needs?
530
00:28:09,417 --> 00:28:10,418
New teeth!
531
00:28:12,585 --> 00:28:15,066
- This is jacked up! Bitches in heat.
- Yo.
532
00:28:21,011 --> 00:28:22,930
- He's in love with you.
- What are you talking about?
533
00:28:23,013 --> 00:28:25,140
Mendez. He's madly
in love with you.
534
00:28:25,433 --> 00:28:26,767
Clearly you gave
an amazing performance,
535
00:28:26,892 --> 00:28:29,562
because the man
is head over heels.
536
00:28:29,644 --> 00:28:31,105
Unless it wasn't a performance.
537
00:28:31,272 --> 00:28:33,107
- You think I liked it?
- I don't know.
538
00:28:33,232 --> 00:28:35,943
All I know is that he sure did
and I had to hear all about it,
539
00:28:36,026 --> 00:28:37,652
and now I can
barely look at you.
540
00:28:37,778 --> 00:28:40,489
John, it's our baby.
541
00:28:41,073 --> 00:28:42,657
Well, it can go
live with George.
542
00:28:42,783 --> 00:28:44,452
- Who's George?
- Mendez!
543
00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:53,085
He'll think it's
his love child anyway.
544
00:28:54,628 --> 00:28:56,671
I'll ask him
to get a DNA test.
545
00:28:56,797 --> 00:28:58,006
Then they'll fire me.
546
00:28:58,132 --> 00:28:59,967
They're not gonna
know it's yours.
547
00:29:00,092 --> 00:29:01,885
They'll just know it's not his.
548
00:29:01,969 --> 00:29:03,929
Then Cesar will pick it
up from the hospital
549
00:29:04,012 --> 00:29:05,180
and he'll bring it to you.
550
00:29:05,306 --> 00:29:06,307
If the test
proves it's not his,
551
00:29:06,432 --> 00:29:08,350
they're gonna want to know how
you got pregnant in prison,
552
00:29:08,476 --> 00:29:12,480
and then we're back to where we started.
Daya, it was a bad plan.
553
00:29:12,729 --> 00:29:14,440
And you had sex with him.
554
00:29:15,649 --> 00:29:18,777
John, I love you.
555
00:29:20,154 --> 00:29:21,822
I hate him.
556
00:29:23,031 --> 00:29:26,160
I only love you.
You gotta know that.
557
00:29:26,827 --> 00:29:28,036
I can't do this.
558
00:29:28,203 --> 00:29:29,288
What...
559
00:29:30,164 --> 00:29:31,499
You missed a spot.
560
00:29:40,132 --> 00:29:41,967
Come on, Lorna,
tell us who you got!
561
00:29:42,134 --> 00:29:43,636
No! It's a secret!
562
00:29:44,136 --> 00:29:45,513
Some secret.
563
00:29:45,596 --> 00:29:46,888
You just got finished asking me
564
00:29:47,014 --> 00:29:49,683
what my favorite color is
and if my feet get cold.
565
00:29:53,061 --> 00:29:54,522
If I was making you slippers,
566
00:29:54,771 --> 00:29:57,107
which I am not,
I wouldn't be anymore.
567
00:29:57,191 --> 00:30:01,028
So, you just get used to having
cold feet that ain't magenta!
568
00:30:04,198 --> 00:30:07,034
Wow. Please start
fucking her again.
569
00:30:07,326 --> 00:30:09,370
Yeah, you only get one
chance to break my heart.
570
00:30:11,038 --> 00:30:12,456
Hey, remember that, Vause.
571
00:30:12,831 --> 00:30:16,544
Such self-restraint. It's
impressive for a junkie.
572
00:30:17,044 --> 00:30:19,046
Well, yeah, that's with drugs.
573
00:30:19,129 --> 00:30:20,172
Look, you gotta remember,
574
00:30:20,255 --> 00:30:22,799
I had a mom who sent me to
overnight camp when I was three.
575
00:30:22,883 --> 00:30:25,553
I have mastered the art
of shutting people off.
576
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,561
Yeah, maybe I should go
into training with you.
577
00:30:28,930 --> 00:30:30,432
What, Chapman?
578
00:30:31,684 --> 00:30:35,854
Sucks. I'm sorry, kid.
I know she got to you.
579
00:30:36,689 --> 00:30:40,734
Hey, how about we both say a
little prayer that she gets fat
580
00:30:40,859 --> 00:30:42,777
and stops shaving her legs?
581
00:30:44,446 --> 00:30:45,573
Done.
582
00:30:49,159 --> 00:30:50,244
Look.
583
00:30:53,747 --> 00:30:58,835
From your son? Oh, Sophia,
I'm so happy for you.
584
00:30:59,836 --> 00:31:02,423
Look, he didn't
write anything else.
585
00:31:02,590 --> 00:31:06,594
But that's his signature. My wife
didn't fake-sign it for him this time.
586
00:31:06,719 --> 00:31:07,761
Oh!
587
00:31:08,345 --> 00:31:09,597
So that's something, right?
588
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:10,805
Mmm-hmm.
589
00:31:10,931 --> 00:31:14,768
That's something. I just
wish he'd talk to me.
590
00:31:15,018 --> 00:31:16,520
He's starting to.
591
00:31:19,773 --> 00:31:22,943
Sisters. You all sure
about this part for me?
592
00:31:23,318 --> 00:31:26,739
Have faith, dear.
Your voice resonates.
593
00:31:27,781 --> 00:31:32,077
Yeah. You right. I should
just put the past behind me.
594
00:31:32,578 --> 00:31:34,329
No way that could happen again.
595
00:31:54,266 --> 00:31:55,350
Alex.
596
00:31:56,143 --> 00:31:57,144
Yeah?
597
00:31:57,728 --> 00:32:00,814
You're tall.
598
00:32:02,316 --> 00:32:03,900
I've been told.
599
00:32:16,288 --> 00:32:17,289
Um...
600
00:32:20,041 --> 00:32:21,835
Sorry, this is, uh...
601
00:32:24,379 --> 00:32:27,508
Had so many things planned
to say to you, but now I...
602
00:32:28,509 --> 00:32:30,719
I'm just picturing you...
603
00:32:30,844 --> 00:32:32,262
Got you all flustered?
604
00:32:32,346 --> 00:32:33,847
You got me pissed off.
605
00:32:34,348 --> 00:32:36,016
How many times do
you think you can
606
00:32:36,099 --> 00:32:38,435
come around and fuck up
Piper's life, huh?
607
00:32:38,519 --> 00:32:42,773
I don't know what
psychic black void
608
00:32:43,482 --> 00:32:44,775
your little game
with her fills,
609
00:32:44,941 --> 00:32:48,737
but you need to end it now
and stay away from her.
610
00:32:49,697 --> 00:32:54,201
Not a problem. She's all yours, champ.
We done here?
611
00:32:54,409 --> 00:32:56,286
Whoa, whoa! Whoa.
Hold on.
612
00:32:59,873 --> 00:33:03,585
Suddenly she's all mine
when you have been
613
00:33:04,211 --> 00:33:06,630
working her over
since she got here?
614
00:33:07,214 --> 00:33:11,677
Working her over? Are
you fucking kidding me?
615
00:33:13,345 --> 00:33:19,476
She came to me. Dragged me into
that chapel and fucked me.
616
00:33:24,231 --> 00:33:29,236
Surprised me, too. She never
used to be the aggressor.
617
00:33:30,779 --> 00:33:33,657
I guess it was a new color
she was trying on.
618
00:33:33,741 --> 00:33:35,784
Or maybe she was bored.
Uh, who knows?
619
00:33:36,410 --> 00:33:37,661
You fucked in a chapel?
620
00:33:37,828 --> 00:33:39,162
It's prison.
621
00:33:41,456 --> 00:33:43,250
There aren't
a whole lot of options.
622
00:33:43,375 --> 00:33:44,835
But I'm done.
623
00:33:46,461 --> 00:33:48,462
I can't survive another
spin on her merry-go-round.
624
00:33:48,505 --> 00:33:53,218
And clearly, you're still into
it, so enjoy the ride.
625
00:33:53,552 --> 00:33:56,346
Fuck you. It's not a ride.
We're getting married.
626
00:33:57,055 --> 00:33:58,056
Great.
627
00:34:00,851 --> 00:34:02,269
So why are you here?
628
00:34:02,770 --> 00:34:04,396
I wanted to meet you.
629
00:34:08,483 --> 00:34:11,612
Larry, my heart is with you.
630
00:34:13,488 --> 00:34:17,075
She's hot.
She's read everything.
631
00:34:19,119 --> 00:34:21,162
We both know
what she's like in bed.
632
00:34:25,626 --> 00:34:27,795
But she is fucked up.
633
00:34:29,003 --> 00:34:31,465
I know it, and you do, too.
634
00:34:32,132 --> 00:34:34,968
Or else you wouldn't be here
warning me to stay away.
635
00:34:36,136 --> 00:34:37,971
I'm not your problem.
636
00:35:01,703 --> 00:35:03,163
Hey, College.
637
00:35:05,749 --> 00:35:08,502
- What are you...
- Don't be acting all modest.
638
00:35:08,585 --> 00:35:10,838
You're about as
indecent as they come.
639
00:35:12,172 --> 00:35:16,760
Okay. Let me dry off and
we can talk about this.
640
00:35:17,511 --> 00:35:20,347
Bathroom's full.
Try back later.
641
00:35:30,106 --> 00:35:31,399
I don't wanna talk.
642
00:35:32,526 --> 00:35:35,529
I'm not going to let you
intimidate me, Tiffany.
643
00:35:36,738 --> 00:35:37,865
What do you want?
644
00:35:38,699 --> 00:35:40,241
What do I want?
645
00:35:41,952 --> 00:35:43,203
Hmm.
646
00:35:43,328 --> 00:35:47,248
I want you to feel the
same pain on your body
647
00:35:47,499 --> 00:35:51,670
as you have made
me feel in my heart.
648
00:35:57,467 --> 00:35:59,427
I know, it's not much.
649
00:36:00,178 --> 00:36:03,264
But it's sharp, it's sharp.
Do you wanna see?
650
00:36:14,234 --> 00:36:15,360
Hmm.
651
00:36:22,993 --> 00:36:24,036
Out.
652
00:36:24,118 --> 00:36:25,537
I thought only lady COs
can go in the bathroom.
653
00:36:25,620 --> 00:36:28,081
Hey! This is not
your assigned bathroom,
654
00:36:28,164 --> 00:36:30,250
you are out of bounds.
Out, now!
655
00:36:38,759 --> 00:36:41,511
I guess next time we're gonna
get more creative. That's okay.
656
00:36:41,595 --> 00:36:42,763
Doggett!
657
00:36:42,930 --> 00:36:44,431
I got some other ideas.
658
00:36:44,765 --> 00:36:47,768
- Doggett!
- Yes. Yes, yes, yes, coming.
659
00:37:06,995 --> 00:37:07,996
You okay?
660
00:37:09,122 --> 00:37:13,710
No. I'm not equipped
to deal with this.
661
00:37:13,794 --> 00:37:15,003
I have to tell someone.
662
00:37:15,545 --> 00:37:17,297
Please, she is a bitty thing.
663
00:37:17,380 --> 00:37:19,466
You can take her. Easy.
664
00:37:19,549 --> 00:37:21,802
And when you do,
score is settled.
665
00:37:21,885 --> 00:37:24,596
Girl, stop being
a bitch-ass bitch.
666
00:37:25,639 --> 00:37:29,810
You got a little blood on your nip-nip there.
Rinse that off.
667
00:38:39,587 --> 00:38:41,268
Five, six, seven, eight.
668
00:38:44,300 --> 00:38:46,928
Pop, turn and shake.
669
00:38:47,054 --> 00:38:49,139
No,
a shimmy now. Daya!
670
00:38:49,222 --> 00:38:50,264
Okay.
671
00:38:50,390 --> 00:38:52,308
- Got it.
- Five, six, seven, eight.
672
00:38:54,561 --> 00:38:59,357
Hip, hip, ha, ha,
pop, pop, turn and shimmy.
673
00:38:59,566 --> 00:39:00,942
- No, pero you gotta pop!
- Booty.
674
00:39:01,068 --> 00:39:02,069
- All right!
- Okay, okay.
675
00:39:02,194 --> 00:39:03,528
And shake your
booty at the end.
676
00:39:03,695 --> 00:39:05,238
Five, six,
seven, eight.
677
00:39:05,572 --> 00:39:07,892
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, hip,
hip, ha, ha, pop, pop, turn...
678
00:39:07,908 --> 00:39:10,785
Ladies, this is not a recreational area.
Get to work. Now!
679
00:39:11,995 --> 00:39:13,997
Whoa, lighten up.
It's the holidays.
680
00:39:14,081 --> 00:39:15,082
I said back to work.
681
00:39:15,207 --> 00:39:17,084
Okay, but we were just
rehearsing our dance.
682
00:39:17,209 --> 00:39:19,419
The rules are put in
place for your safety.
683
00:39:20,795 --> 00:39:22,422
All right.
684
00:39:22,547 --> 00:39:24,507
Daya needs to tell
her boyfriend to lighten up.
685
00:39:24,591 --> 00:39:25,592
I know, right?
686
00:39:25,717 --> 00:39:28,511
I understand some Spanish, Flaca.
He's not my boyfriend.
687
00:39:28,595 --> 00:39:29,930
What did you say, inmate?
688
00:39:32,140 --> 00:39:33,225
Nothing.
689
00:39:33,433 --> 00:39:35,143
That's right.
You say nothing.
690
00:39:35,268 --> 00:39:36,561
You have nothing to say.
691
00:39:59,584 --> 00:40:01,211
I don't see any
electrical issues.
692
00:40:01,628 --> 00:40:03,028
Appliance seems to
be in good shape.
693
00:40:03,588 --> 00:40:07,842
Just full of grease. So I'm
gonna say grease fire.
694
00:40:08,301 --> 00:40:10,137
Brilliant. Thank you.
695
00:40:13,306 --> 00:40:15,100
How bad did Murphy seem to you?
696
00:40:15,267 --> 00:40:16,559
It's hard to say.
697
00:40:16,643 --> 00:40:19,312
You know, after she got sprayed,
there was a lot of foam.
698
00:40:20,855 --> 00:40:24,609
She was burned, all over her
arm and, like, her clavicle.
699
00:40:24,692 --> 00:40:26,903
I seen it before
Maritza spritzed.
700
00:40:27,195 --> 00:40:30,824
Mendoza, part of your
job is to make sure
701
00:40:30,949 --> 00:40:32,867
these ovens are
cleaned properly.
702
00:40:32,993 --> 00:40:35,495
Don't make me regret
putting you in charge.
703
00:40:35,662 --> 00:40:37,247
I did clean those ovens.
704
00:40:37,789 --> 00:40:39,791
Well, clearly not well enough.
705
00:40:40,167 --> 00:40:42,502
Yeah. Clearly.
706
00:40:51,970 --> 00:40:53,721
All right, get back to work.
707
00:40:55,932 --> 00:40:57,600
Attention, ladies,
708
00:40:57,684 --> 00:41:00,561
breakfast has been
temporarily delayed.
709
00:41:03,273 --> 00:41:04,357
Are you sure you're okay?
710
00:41:04,524 --> 00:41:06,567
Yeah, it just
scared me a little.
711
00:41:07,652 --> 00:41:08,945
Me, too.
712
00:41:13,533 --> 00:41:14,701
Bennett!
713
00:41:17,620 --> 00:41:19,080
We have more to discuss.
714
00:41:19,206 --> 00:41:20,498
Yes, sir.
715
00:41:26,546 --> 00:41:29,132
Blocks B and C
resume normal program.
716
00:41:30,508 --> 00:41:34,428
Talk to the medic, get a detailed
account of Murphy's injuries,
717
00:41:34,554 --> 00:41:36,348
bring me the report
by the end of the day.
718
00:41:36,430 --> 00:41:38,683
Speaking of reports,
where's the drug bust?
719
00:41:38,766 --> 00:41:41,811
I want to get that filed.
That is a big win for us.
720
00:41:41,895 --> 00:41:44,605
Yeah, can I talk
to you about that?
721
00:41:44,731 --> 00:41:48,693
I had this meeting
or something with Fig.
722
00:41:49,194 --> 00:41:50,737
Christ. What happened?
723
00:41:52,405 --> 00:41:54,782
She is a pencil
pusher, Bennett.
724
00:41:54,908 --> 00:41:58,036
You and I, we are
battling in the trenches.
725
00:41:59,204 --> 00:42:02,498
She told me not to
file a report about the...
726
00:42:04,792 --> 00:42:08,088
About the drugs. She said an
investigation could point to me.
727
00:42:08,380 --> 00:42:10,257
That little...
728
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:17,222
She's cutting off your
balls to protect her own.
729
00:42:17,305 --> 00:42:19,766
You write up
that report, Bennett,
730
00:42:19,849 --> 00:42:20,975
and you bring it to me.
731
00:42:21,101 --> 00:42:24,312
That way, in fact, you
did not file it. I did.
732
00:42:25,146 --> 00:42:26,273
Yes, sir.
733
00:42:26,606 --> 00:42:28,649
This place fucking stinks.
734
00:42:29,276 --> 00:42:31,111
We'll open some windows, sir.
735
00:42:32,528 --> 00:42:34,447
That's not what
I meant, Bennett.
736
00:42:34,572 --> 00:42:35,949
That's not what I meant.
737
00:42:45,458 --> 00:42:47,001
Merry Christmas, Chapman.
738
00:42:53,758 --> 00:42:55,135
It's not Christmas yet.
739
00:42:55,343 --> 00:42:59,139
Yeah, well, it came
early for you this year.
740
00:42:59,889 --> 00:43:02,225
There you go. Go on.
741
00:43:04,477 --> 00:43:06,271
You big ho, ho, ho.
742
00:43:35,342 --> 00:43:39,553
I never meant to hurt anyone, Norma.
Least of all Gina.
743
00:43:39,679 --> 00:43:42,056
She's my daughter.
You know that.
744
00:43:56,363 --> 00:43:59,532
Yo. Check it out.
745
00:44:00,533 --> 00:44:04,204
Whoa! You put a lot
of work into that.
746
00:44:04,287 --> 00:44:06,873
Who knew you were so
fucking thoughtful? Jesus.
747
00:44:06,956 --> 00:44:10,626
Yeah. I have my moments.
Think she'll like it?
748
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:13,046
I don't know if she'll
appreciate the groom.
749
00:44:13,671 --> 00:44:15,882
What happened to that iron
gate keeping your heart shut?
750
00:44:16,007 --> 00:44:17,591
It's a joke.
751
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:18,885
Is it?
752
00:44:27,768 --> 00:44:29,437
What are you doing there?
753
00:44:30,230 --> 00:44:31,231
Making you a pair of earrings.
754
00:44:31,314 --> 00:44:33,774
Wait! You asshole! That's
supposed to be a surprise.
755
00:44:33,983 --> 00:44:35,276
Surprise!
756
00:44:37,695 --> 00:44:38,905
These suck.
757
00:44:40,281 --> 00:44:45,370
God! I'm just not crafty. I
don't know what to give you.
758
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:52,043
Man, you're right. It should be a boy.
It's not funny.
759
00:44:58,550 --> 00:45:02,720
Hey. I think I know what
I want for Christmas.
760
00:45:03,388 --> 00:45:04,514
Yeah?
761
00:45:04,596 --> 00:45:05,723
Yeah.
762
00:46:08,411 --> 00:46:09,496
Next.
763
00:46:25,803 --> 00:46:28,431
I got the marriage form.
It's all filled out.
764
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:30,016
Good. Good.
765
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:33,685
If I make it.
766
00:46:33,853 --> 00:46:35,104
If you make it?
767
00:46:35,271 --> 00:46:38,399
Someone's trying to kill me.
A Christian meth head.
768
00:46:38,650 --> 00:46:40,193
Someone else is
trying to kill you?
769
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:43,488
Hey, it's not my fault. I
didn't ask for this. It just...
770
00:46:43,655 --> 00:46:48,201
It just happened? It happened.
The drama happened to find you.
771
00:46:48,284 --> 00:46:51,037
Like it always does.
'Cause you need it.
772
00:46:51,829 --> 00:46:53,331
Where did that come from?
773
00:46:55,124 --> 00:46:56,501
I met Alex.
774
00:46:59,337 --> 00:47:01,047
What do you mean you met Alex?
775
00:47:01,381 --> 00:47:03,715
I wanted to tell
her to stay away.
776
00:47:04,884 --> 00:47:08,054
I wanted her to see that I was a
real person that she was hurting.
777
00:47:08,137 --> 00:47:11,140
But actually, Piper,
778
00:47:11,224 --> 00:47:13,104
you were the one that was
doing all the hurting.
779
00:47:13,893 --> 00:47:16,103
Whatever she said
is a lie, Larry.
780
00:47:16,229 --> 00:47:19,399
She's a crazy,
manipulative liar.
781
00:47:19,857 --> 00:47:21,693
This is unbelievable.
782
00:47:23,361 --> 00:47:26,155
I can't believe you didn't trust
me to handle this on my own.
783
00:47:26,322 --> 00:47:30,618
No, I didn't. I didn't, and
doesn't that say so much?
784
00:47:31,118 --> 00:47:33,705
I can't be on your
ride anymore, Piper.
785
00:47:33,871 --> 00:47:37,917
I don't think we share the same values.
Why was I in such a hurry?
786
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:39,751
Because I was afraid.
787
00:47:42,630 --> 00:47:45,425
You shouldn't be with
someone out of fear.
788
00:47:48,553 --> 00:47:51,598
No. No.
789
00:47:53,099 --> 00:47:55,560
No, no, no.
790
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,272
I'm sorry. I...
791
00:48:02,233 --> 00:48:03,443
Bye, Piper.
792
00:48:04,860 --> 00:48:06,862
No. Larry.
793
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:18,124
No. No.
794
00:48:23,630 --> 00:48:24,756
Alex.
795
00:48:25,339 --> 00:48:28,134
Are you kidding me?
Get out.
796
00:48:28,635 --> 00:48:31,220
- Alex...
- Get out. No fucking way.
797
00:48:33,013 --> 00:48:34,265
Get out.
798
00:48:35,141 --> 00:48:36,643
You heard the lady.
799
00:49:25,441 --> 00:49:27,735
Another holiday.
Can you believe this?
800
00:49:28,027 --> 00:49:32,031
I can because I have eyes.
And a calendar.
801
00:49:33,491 --> 00:49:36,452
Healy, if you ever
call an inmate's family
802
00:49:36,536 --> 00:49:38,579
again with your
lesbian witch hunt shit,
803
00:49:38,705 --> 00:49:40,331
I will destroy you.
804
00:49:41,666 --> 00:49:43,459
Your mail-order bride
will leave you,
805
00:49:43,543 --> 00:49:46,003
and you will never work again.
806
00:49:46,086 --> 00:49:47,588
Get some fucking therapy, man.
807
00:50:01,310 --> 00:50:02,478
- Hey.
- Hey.
808
00:50:02,562 --> 00:50:03,937
I heard you were coming.
809
00:50:04,731 --> 00:50:06,691
I would have sent
these to the hospital,
810
00:50:09,318 --> 00:50:11,738
but I thought I'd rather
deliver them in person.
811
00:50:12,071 --> 00:50:17,243
Wow, Mr. Caputo,
Joe, thank you.
812
00:50:17,869 --> 00:50:19,662
That's really thoughtful.
813
00:50:21,748 --> 00:50:24,375
Oh, this is
my boyfriend, Stephen.
814
00:50:24,458 --> 00:50:25,835
This is Joe Caputo.
815
00:50:25,917 --> 00:50:28,254
- Hello.
- Hello, Stephen.
816
00:50:30,047 --> 00:50:31,465
Really, really nice
to meet you.
817
00:50:31,923 --> 00:50:33,175
Happy holidays, sir.
818
00:50:33,925 --> 00:50:36,554
- Joe. Please.
- Joe.
819
00:50:38,598 --> 00:50:41,642
Oh. All right, that could be trouble.
Excuse me.
820
00:50:41,768 --> 00:50:45,396
Oh, no, I think that's theater for
"the show's gonna start soon."
821
00:50:46,439 --> 00:50:49,108
Right.
Of course.
822
00:50:49,567 --> 00:50:52,445
Okay.
Okay, night... Yeah.
823
00:51:12,632 --> 00:51:15,301
- Joy to the world
- The world
824
00:51:15,426 --> 00:51:17,762
- The Lord is come
- Is come
825
00:51:17,845 --> 00:51:23,392
- Let Earth receive her King
- Her King
826
00:51:23,476 --> 00:51:28,940
Let every heart
prepare Him room
827
00:51:29,022 --> 00:51:32,735
- And Heaven and nature sing
- Nature sing
828
00:51:32,860 --> 00:51:34,779
- And Heaven and nature sing
- Nature sing
829
00:51:34,946 --> 00:51:39,826
- And Heaven, and Heaven, nature sing
- Nature sing
830
00:51:46,998 --> 00:51:53,965
Amazing grace
831
00:51:56,175 --> 00:52:01,722
- How sweet
- Sweet
832
00:52:01,848 --> 00:52:06,477
- The sound
- Sound
833
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:10,063
That saved
834
00:52:10,189 --> 00:52:17,070
A wretch like me
835
00:52:17,530 --> 00:52:19,782
Like me
836
00:52:20,073 --> 00:52:26,998
I once was lost
837
00:52:27,414 --> 00:52:29,166
Lost
838
00:52:29,667 --> 00:52:35,046
But now I'm found
839
00:52:36,089 --> 00:52:38,217
Found
840
00:52:38,342 --> 00:52:40,887
Was blind
841
00:52:41,012 --> 00:52:45,016
But now
842
00:52:45,349 --> 00:52:51,647
I see
843
00:52:55,150 --> 00:52:56,193
Psst. Hey!
844
00:53:03,034 --> 00:53:04,410
Thank you.
Merry Christmas.
845
00:53:04,911 --> 00:53:06,328
Merry Christmas.
846
00:53:08,079 --> 00:53:09,248
Shut the fuck up.
847
00:53:11,250 --> 00:53:15,379
Joseph, I'm not
feeling very well.
848
00:53:15,462 --> 00:53:19,508
I'm really tired
and I have a pain.
849
00:53:19,592 --> 00:53:22,595
I think it's time for
the baby to be born!
850
00:53:23,846 --> 00:53:29,685
Please, Mary, lie down here on
this nice bed I made in the straw.
851
00:53:30,269 --> 00:53:32,605
Oh, yeah, lay down, Mary!
852
00:53:37,359 --> 00:53:39,486
Jesus fucking Christ!
853
00:53:40,362 --> 00:53:43,365
All right, ladies. Knock it off!
Knock it off!
854
00:53:47,036 --> 00:53:49,204
Joseph, you were saying?
855
00:53:49,413 --> 00:53:50,957
That should have
been us up there.
856
00:53:51,122 --> 00:53:52,165
I know.
857
00:53:52,917 --> 00:53:56,670
Lie down, Mary,
it won't be long now.
858
00:55:23,049 --> 00:55:25,342
Yeah!
859
00:55:28,721 --> 00:55:30,962
You should be in the center.
You should be in the center.
860
00:56:27,196 --> 00:56:31,242
Hey! Hey! Where you
think you're going?
861
00:56:32,534 --> 00:56:34,411
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
862
00:56:34,494 --> 00:56:38,331
You do not wanna fight with me
right now, crazy. You do not.
863
00:56:38,540 --> 00:56:39,917
Oh, no?
864
00:56:40,042 --> 00:56:41,961
Maybe you're right.
I don't wanna fight you.
865
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:44,838
I wanna end you right now.
866
00:56:50,136 --> 00:56:52,554
You better stop. Mr. Healy's
right over there.
867
00:56:52,638 --> 00:56:53,806
Hi, Mr. Healy.
868
00:56:54,932 --> 00:56:59,352
Mr. Healy! Mr. Healy! Mr. Healy!
869
00:57:00,395 --> 00:57:02,148
She's trying to kill me!
870
00:57:18,664 --> 00:57:19,999
Oh!
871
00:57:20,124 --> 00:57:21,917
Look what you
brought out to play.
872
00:57:22,001 --> 00:57:24,253
You back the fuck off me!
873
00:57:24,461 --> 00:57:26,839
You think I'm scared
of you? Do you?
874
00:57:28,090 --> 00:57:31,844
I'm not scared of you.
'Cause I got God by my side.
875
00:57:33,679 --> 00:57:36,640
And he told me that you
ain't worth nothin'! See?
876
00:57:37,808 --> 00:57:39,601
See how he just
works through me?
877
00:57:39,810 --> 00:57:42,062
And he wants me to smite you.
878
00:57:43,314 --> 00:57:44,523
I see things.
879
00:57:50,863 --> 00:57:53,324
Hmm, she-devil.
That's what you are.
880
00:57:53,406 --> 00:57:56,869
You're the devil,
and I'm the angel of God.
881
00:57:56,994 --> 00:58:02,208
I mean, look at my dress. Have you seen it?
How's that for poetry?
882
00:58:02,916 --> 00:58:03,917
Hmm?
883
00:58:04,043 --> 00:58:06,670
'Cause God loves me.
He don't love you.
884
00:58:06,753 --> 00:58:08,421
'Cause you ain't
worthy of God's love,
885
00:58:08,547 --> 00:58:10,341
you ain't worthy
of nobody's love.
886
00:58:14,469 --> 00:58:18,598
So I think it's
time that you die.
887
00:58:19,183 --> 00:58:20,226
No!
888
00:58:36,445 --> 00:58:46,626
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com