1 00:00:05,050 --> 00:00:06,384 [cell door slams] 2 00:00:07,761 --> 00:00:09,179 [theme song playing] 3 00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:57,978 [cell door slams] 4 00:01:13,661 --> 00:01:15,328 [cell door slams] 5 00:01:15,329 --> 00:01:17,685 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com 6 00:01:18,749 --> 00:01:21,584 [in sultry voice] I'd butter your toast. 7 00:01:23,796 --> 00:01:25,839 I'd feed her dog. 8 00:01:27,765 --> 00:01:29,802 I'd zip his sweater. 9 00:01:29,885 --> 00:01:31,053 Mmm. 10 00:01:31,136 --> 00:01:32,137 [in normal voice] See? 11 00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:34,848 It doesn't matter what you say, as long as it's... 12 00:01:34,932 --> 00:01:37,100 [in sultry voice] "I'd blank your blank." 13 00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:38,185 [chuckles] 14 00:01:38,268 --> 00:01:40,979 [in normal voice] It all sounds dirty, always. 15 00:01:41,063 --> 00:01:43,398 [in sultry voice] I'd disembowel his cat. 16 00:01:43,481 --> 00:01:44,817 That is not sexy. 17 00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:46,777 No, she did not say that right. 18 00:01:46,860 --> 00:01:49,279 I'd scratch that eczema. 19 00:01:49,362 --> 00:01:52,074 Oh, she is killing your theory, here, Doggett. 20 00:01:52,157 --> 00:01:54,868 Well, her exception proves the rules, 'cause... 21 00:01:54,952 --> 00:01:57,746 you guys gotta know, my boyfriend, Arlen... 22 00:01:57,830 --> 00:01:59,081 [exhales] 23 00:01:59,164 --> 00:02:01,208 He was the master of it. [moans] 24 00:02:01,291 --> 00:02:05,045 He'd bed you whispering, [in sultry voice] "I'd light your crack pipe"? 25 00:02:05,921 --> 00:02:08,716 I didn't smoke crack. Crack's for coloreds. 26 00:02:08,799 --> 00:02:10,008 - [in normal voice] Oh, is it, now? - N... 27 00:02:11,301 --> 00:02:14,096 African Americans. Crack is for African Americans. 28 00:02:14,179 --> 00:02:15,681 Maybe you should just drive. 29 00:02:15,764 --> 00:02:17,224 I am drivin'. 30 00:02:17,307 --> 00:02:19,434 I gotta say, these cup holders are nice. 31 00:02:19,517 --> 00:02:23,521 The air works. Seats don't smell like hot dog juice. 32 00:02:23,605 --> 00:02:25,858 Maybe we should get all of our terminal inmates 33 00:02:25,941 --> 00:02:27,776 to drive our outdated crap into a quarry. 34 00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:30,070 Gotta give it to the baldy, though. 35 00:02:30,153 --> 00:02:32,530 She had some set of balls. 36 00:02:32,614 --> 00:02:34,700 You know, a man went bald... 37 00:02:34,783 --> 00:02:36,034 and he bawled. 38 00:02:36,118 --> 00:02:37,745 [mimics sobbing] 39 00:02:37,828 --> 00:02:39,872 But then he met a really nice lady who... 40 00:02:39,955 --> 00:02:41,331 She liked a clean head, right? 41 00:02:41,414 --> 00:02:43,792 So he balled her real good. 42 00:02:43,876 --> 00:02:46,669 So you got "bald," "bawled," and "balled," right? 43 00:02:46,754 --> 00:02:50,423 They all sound alike, but they're all spelled different. 44 00:02:50,507 --> 00:02:51,549 [chuckles] Isn't that wild? 45 00:02:51,633 --> 00:02:53,051 My mom taught me that. 46 00:02:53,135 --> 00:02:55,345 She taught me so many cool things. 47 00:02:59,224 --> 00:03:00,976 Come on, hon. Get it all down. 48 00:03:02,602 --> 00:03:04,312 That's right. 49 00:03:04,396 --> 00:03:05,981 Chug, chug, chug. 50 00:03:07,690 --> 00:03:09,358 Hey! All of it! 51 00:03:11,736 --> 00:03:13,196 Finish that bottle. 52 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,782 [young Pennsatucky grunting] 53 00:03:14,865 --> 00:03:17,534 [Debbie] See for yourself she ain't right in the head. 54 00:03:17,617 --> 00:03:21,288 Never had all what belongs to her, poor thing. 55 00:03:22,330 --> 00:03:24,041 But we take what the Lord gives us. 56 00:03:25,042 --> 00:03:28,003 Anyhow, so's I understand it, 57 00:03:28,086 --> 00:03:31,006 supplemental security income benefits for little Bessie bugs like mine 58 00:03:31,089 --> 00:03:33,758 is $314 a month. 59 00:03:34,843 --> 00:03:36,469 Is that right? 60 00:03:36,553 --> 00:03:37,971 [Maxwell] How many kids are coming for Mother's Day? 61 00:03:38,055 --> 00:03:42,184 A lot. Some of our ladies, they have three, four, seven. 62 00:03:42,267 --> 00:03:43,560 [exhales] 63 00:03:43,643 --> 00:03:44,978 I would have had five. 64 00:03:45,979 --> 00:03:47,397 Or six... 65 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:50,776 if you count the one that fell out after the night in the caves. 66 00:03:50,859 --> 00:03:51,860 Huh. 67 00:03:51,944 --> 00:03:55,113 Would have been a miracle baby, like Tim Tebow. 68 00:03:55,197 --> 00:03:57,157 Based on the state of your mouth when you came in, 69 00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,701 I'm gonna say your baby wasn't on the star athlete track. 70 00:03:59,785 --> 00:04:02,655 Oh, yeah? Well... neither was Tim Tebow. 71 00:04:03,705 --> 00:04:05,165 You know, when his mama was pregnant, 72 00:04:05,248 --> 00:04:06,291 she had the sickness 73 00:04:06,374 --> 00:04:08,168 and the doctors told her not to have the baby, 74 00:04:08,251 --> 00:04:09,752 but she had it anyhow. 75 00:04:09,837 --> 00:04:13,298 And she was on dysentery medicine and in Filipino town. 76 00:04:13,381 --> 00:04:15,268 He wasn't such a great quarterback. 77 00:04:16,301 --> 00:04:17,344 Oh. 78 00:04:17,427 --> 00:04:19,972 Like you so great at football. [scoffs] 79 00:04:20,055 --> 00:04:21,389 I may have kids one day. 80 00:04:21,473 --> 00:04:23,100 One day? You got a time machine? 81 00:04:23,183 --> 00:04:25,060 The women in my family have very young ovaries. 82 00:04:25,143 --> 00:04:26,854 My mother had me at 49. 83 00:04:26,937 --> 00:04:29,147 Her mother had my Uncle Chess, at 52. 84 00:04:29,231 --> 00:04:30,315 I got plenty of time. 85 00:04:30,398 --> 00:04:32,192 We believe what we believe. 86 00:04:32,275 --> 00:04:34,319 You guys, look at this... look at this sale stuff. 87 00:04:34,402 --> 00:04:36,738 We should just bring back all this Cinco de Mayo. 88 00:04:36,864 --> 00:04:37,906 I mean, look. 89 00:04:42,035 --> 00:04:43,954 "Fiesta like there's no mañana." 90 00:04:44,037 --> 00:04:45,538 Seriously. 91 00:04:45,622 --> 00:04:47,958 You know most of the kids are gonna be Mexican, 92 00:04:48,041 --> 00:04:49,292 so make 'em feel at home. 93 00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:51,336 Just get 'em one of these red chili piñatas, 94 00:04:51,419 --> 00:04:54,339 a bunch of these... green candies from St. Patrick's Day, 95 00:04:54,422 --> 00:04:55,757 and we got a party. 96 00:04:55,841 --> 00:04:56,967 Doggett, enough. 97 00:04:57,050 --> 00:04:58,218 The only reason why you're in here 98 00:04:58,301 --> 00:05:00,595 is 'cause we couldn't leave you in the van. 99 00:05:09,897 --> 00:05:11,982 Let's go price the helium tanks. 100 00:05:16,111 --> 00:05:17,529 [exhaling] 101 00:05:20,060 --> 00:05:21,144 You all right? 102 00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:22,314 I'm fine. 103 00:05:22,868 --> 00:05:24,119 [breathing deeply] 104 00:05:24,870 --> 00:05:26,371 Are you havin' a panic attack? 105 00:05:26,955 --> 00:05:28,916 I'm breathing mindfully. 106 00:05:28,999 --> 00:05:30,959 I'm supposed to do it to 108... 107 00:05:31,043 --> 00:05:34,754 and then do it again if I'm not feeling any better... 108 00:05:34,837 --> 00:05:36,631 even though I never feel better. 109 00:05:37,757 --> 00:05:39,717 Now I lost count. Shit! 110 00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:40,843 [groans] 111 00:05:41,220 --> 00:05:42,313 Where did you learn this? 112 00:05:42,315 --> 00:05:44,689 Some magazine. I don't know. 113 00:05:44,691 --> 00:05:46,409 I'm just trying to find some fuckin' peace. 114 00:05:48,462 --> 00:05:51,173 Holy shit, look who's back. 115 00:05:51,256 --> 00:05:52,299 You missed me, right? 116 00:05:52,382 --> 00:05:55,302 - Like a bulldog misses his balls. - [chuckles] 117 00:05:55,385 --> 00:05:56,886 You're in that bunk. 118 00:05:59,055 --> 00:06:00,890 I can't sleep on the top bunk. 119 00:06:00,974 --> 00:06:02,809 - Yeah, well, not the top. - [Anita] Oh, no. Uh-uh. 120 00:06:02,892 --> 00:06:05,061 That's Rosa's bed. Back it up. 121 00:06:05,145 --> 00:06:06,896 DeMarco, she's been assigned to that bunk. 122 00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:08,523 Show some respect for the dead. 123 00:06:16,108 --> 00:06:17,484 [groans] 124 00:06:17,534 --> 00:06:20,162 Red, I know you from the first night I spent in this room, 125 00:06:20,327 --> 00:06:22,621 but you take one more thing down, I'm gonna reopen your head wounds. 126 00:06:22,704 --> 00:06:24,289 Wanna build a shrine to Rosa? 127 00:06:24,373 --> 00:06:26,416 Build it somewhere she had joy... 128 00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:30,670 not on this miserable bed where she lay dying of cancer. 129 00:06:30,754 --> 00:06:32,589 The woman went out like a champ. 130 00:06:33,757 --> 00:06:34,966 Tough fuckin' broad. 131 00:06:35,049 --> 00:06:36,426 You want any of this? 132 00:06:36,510 --> 00:06:38,470 Yeah, the playin' cards. 133 00:06:38,553 --> 00:06:40,764 She was a good card player. 134 00:06:44,017 --> 00:06:45,144 [Sister Ingalls] How you doing, Red? 135 00:06:45,227 --> 00:06:47,020 [Red] Strangest thing... 136 00:06:47,103 --> 00:06:50,239 ever since the assault I speak with this Russian accent. 137 00:06:51,024 --> 00:06:53,026 - You still having headaches? - Yeah. [groans] 138 00:06:54,153 --> 00:06:56,446 Trying to wean myself off the pills. 139 00:06:56,530 --> 00:06:59,324 I can't stand feeling foggy all the time. 140 00:07:00,450 --> 00:07:01,868 You got any on ya? 141 00:07:01,951 --> 00:07:03,995 A few. I've been cheeking them. 142 00:07:05,330 --> 00:07:06,373 Here. 143 00:07:06,805 --> 00:07:07,782 How much you want? 144 00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:09,272 Nothin'. 145 00:07:09,274 --> 00:07:11,670 [chuckles] You don't give anything away for free. 146 00:07:11,753 --> 00:07:13,422 I've turned over a new leaf. 147 00:07:13,937 --> 00:07:15,882 Wait. That's been in your mouth? 148 00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:17,896 Briefly, yes. 149 00:07:18,051 --> 00:07:20,345 Ugh. Shkeeve. No offense. 150 00:07:20,429 --> 00:07:23,056 I only share spit with my man and my babies. 151 00:07:25,309 --> 00:07:26,351 I'll take it. 152 00:07:33,944 --> 00:07:36,989 Mother's Day Fair... expanded visitation... 153 00:07:37,279 --> 00:07:39,948 it fosters the inmates' connection to the outside world. 154 00:07:40,031 --> 00:07:42,576 These women forget they have lives on the outside, 155 00:07:42,659 --> 00:07:43,868 it affects how they behave in here. 156 00:07:43,952 --> 00:07:46,205 Maybe they forget for good reason. 157 00:07:46,288 --> 00:07:49,749 Well, that's your job to worry about now. You're the expert. 158 00:07:49,833 --> 00:07:51,626 Not really. My degree's in cosmetology. 159 00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:52,752 My whole résumé's a lie. 160 00:07:52,836 --> 00:07:54,588 But you would be amazed what ladies will reveal 161 00:07:54,671 --> 00:07:56,256 while you're bleaching their arm hair. 162 00:07:57,174 --> 00:08:00,427 [stammers] I don't know you that well. You're joking, right? 163 00:08:00,510 --> 00:08:02,512 'Cause I just got everything square around here, 164 00:08:02,596 --> 00:08:03,722 and it's been an uphill climb. 165 00:08:03,805 --> 00:08:05,073 So I heard. 166 00:08:05,599 --> 00:08:06,891 Now, what'd you hear? 167 00:08:06,975 --> 00:08:10,729 That you got caught in a shit-storm, but you put up a sturdy umbrella. 168 00:08:10,812 --> 00:08:12,189 Yeah, well, it's starting to leak. 169 00:08:12,272 --> 00:08:16,443 Now I'm doing Madame Shit-Storm's job, along with doing my old job, 170 00:08:16,526 --> 00:08:18,987 which the powers-that-be have yet to fill. 171 00:08:19,070 --> 00:08:20,113 [sighs] 172 00:08:20,197 --> 00:08:21,865 I'm doin' two jobs. 173 00:08:21,948 --> 00:08:24,033 Do you resent that the administration hired me 174 00:08:24,117 --> 00:08:25,994 before finding a replacement for your old job? 175 00:08:27,161 --> 00:08:28,247 Are you analyzin' me? 176 00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:29,373 No. 177 00:08:29,456 --> 00:08:32,251 I just don't want any shade without having been given a shot. 178 00:08:32,334 --> 00:08:34,002 My beef's not with you. 179 00:08:34,085 --> 00:08:35,545 What'd you hear about me? 180 00:08:35,629 --> 00:08:38,257 That you're smart and you're qualified and... 181 00:08:38,340 --> 00:08:39,383 you said yes. 182 00:08:40,342 --> 00:08:42,802 Does my saying yes maybe cancel out the smart part? 183 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:44,702 How's this? 184 00:08:44,704 --> 00:08:47,781 Welcome to Litchfield, where your services are needed 185 00:08:47,783 --> 00:08:51,329 in both the counseling and hair removal arenas. 186 00:08:51,603 --> 00:08:54,022 These are complicated ladies in a complicated place. 187 00:08:54,105 --> 00:08:55,399 [Taystee] Yo! 188 00:08:55,482 --> 00:08:58,527 Mr. Caputo! That your girlfriend? 189 00:08:58,610 --> 00:09:01,280 I had a feeling you had a thing for the darker berries. 190 00:09:02,614 --> 00:09:04,866 Jefferson, this is Counselor Rogers. 191 00:09:04,949 --> 00:09:07,076 Counselor? What about Mr. Healy? 192 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,161 He's still here. 193 00:09:08,245 --> 00:09:10,622 Huh. This is gonna get interestin'. 194 00:09:10,705 --> 00:09:12,374 Is it? How so? 195 00:09:12,457 --> 00:09:14,208 Jefferson, why don't you go help set up? 196 00:09:14,293 --> 00:09:15,835 Yes, sir, mas'er. 197 00:09:17,837 --> 00:09:19,339 Mr. Caputo, sir. 198 00:09:19,423 --> 00:09:20,424 What do you want, Bennett? 199 00:09:20,507 --> 00:09:21,925 Sir, all the lights in C-Dorm went out, 200 00:09:22,008 --> 00:09:24,177 so I sent some of the girls in electrical down to take a look at it. 201 00:09:24,261 --> 00:09:26,346 They're not girls, Bennett. They're inmates. 202 00:09:26,962 --> 00:09:27,931 Or women. 203 00:09:28,014 --> 00:09:29,266 Or electricians. 204 00:09:29,349 --> 00:09:30,475 What's your point? 205 00:09:31,685 --> 00:09:34,271 Um, well, the lights are back on now. 206 00:09:34,354 --> 00:09:36,648 It's a great story. Thank you for sharing. 207 00:09:38,692 --> 00:09:40,527 - Berdie Rogers, new counselor. - Hi. 208 00:09:40,610 --> 00:09:42,362 Officer Bennett... 209 00:09:42,446 --> 00:09:44,448 is there anything else you'd like to tell us? 210 00:09:44,531 --> 00:09:46,074 Nice to meet you. 211 00:09:50,870 --> 00:09:52,205 What's goin' on there? 212 00:09:52,289 --> 00:09:54,749 [sighs] Nothing. It's nothing. 213 00:09:54,833 --> 00:09:57,502 How about we go on a tour of the dorms in all their well-lit glory? 214 00:10:02,841 --> 00:10:04,843 Everybody says she's got magic. 215 00:10:04,926 --> 00:10:07,929 Did she touch it, too? I wanna know that she touched it. 216 00:10:08,847 --> 00:10:12,601 Mmm-hmm. She touched it. She blessed it. 217 00:10:12,684 --> 00:10:13,685 - [gasps] - Oh, shit. 218 00:10:13,768 --> 00:10:14,894 [inmate] What does that mean? 219 00:10:15,979 --> 00:10:18,189 [gasps] Hasan put a curse on me, didn't he? 220 00:10:18,272 --> 00:10:19,941 That's a cursed egg. 221 00:10:20,024 --> 00:10:22,319 I'll lose a foot. 222 00:10:22,402 --> 00:10:23,945 Bobo will attack all the quail. 223 00:10:24,028 --> 00:10:26,072 It's not a cursed egg. My hand slipped, okay? 224 00:10:26,155 --> 00:10:28,408 Why don't you go get cleaned up, and then we'll start all over again? 225 00:10:28,492 --> 00:10:31,077 We're gonna do a whole thing, okay? Go. 226 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,331 [inmate] I'm all eggy now. It's gonna attract snakes. 227 00:10:34,414 --> 00:10:35,665 I know. That's not good. 228 00:10:36,285 --> 00:10:39,044 Now what does the egg do? You makin' somebody else go away? 229 00:10:39,085 --> 00:10:40,462 I'm making an omelet. 230 00:10:40,545 --> 00:10:42,506 I got no scraps for your hooch today, 231 00:10:42,589 --> 00:10:45,592 and I am still waiting on my jar from the last batch. 232 00:10:45,675 --> 00:10:48,595 Okay, it's comin'. A few more days. It's gonna be good. 233 00:10:48,678 --> 00:10:50,639 Listen, we were thinkin' of doin', like, 234 00:10:50,722 --> 00:10:52,474 a little game booth for the kids, 235 00:10:52,557 --> 00:10:56,310 where they throw Ping-Pong balls into little bowls of water. Win a prize. 236 00:10:56,395 --> 00:10:57,479 Can I borrow some bowls? 237 00:10:57,562 --> 00:10:59,668 Where you gonna get some Ping-Pong balls around here? 238 00:10:59,670 --> 00:11:00,951 Found a bunch in the warehouse. 239 00:11:00,953 --> 00:11:03,938 They're old as fuck and mostly dented, but they'll work. 240 00:11:04,255 --> 00:11:06,070 What are you gonna do for prizes? 241 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:09,032 Buy some Tootsie Rolls from commissary... 242 00:11:09,115 --> 00:11:10,241 dole them out. 243 00:11:11,410 --> 00:11:12,452 That's nice of you. 244 00:11:12,536 --> 00:11:14,871 Yeah, well, it's y'all's day. 245 00:11:14,954 --> 00:11:17,749 Must be hard as fuck bein' in here when you got kids on the outside. 246 00:11:17,832 --> 00:11:18,875 Your kids comin'? 247 00:11:18,958 --> 00:11:21,961 Yeah... for the first time in a long time. 248 00:11:22,045 --> 00:11:24,839 My tía, she moved back into the city. 249 00:11:24,923 --> 00:11:26,966 Don't forget to call your mother tomorrow. 250 00:11:28,217 --> 00:11:29,385 Oh, my mom's passed. 251 00:11:32,431 --> 00:11:33,807 - I'm sorry. - Yeah. 252 00:11:35,391 --> 00:11:36,643 - Mira, Blanca! - [Blanca] Eh? 253 00:11:36,726 --> 00:11:40,647 Why don't you get this one some of those fruit cocktail-sized bowls? 254 00:11:41,648 --> 00:11:42,649 I won a goldfish once 255 00:11:42,732 --> 00:11:44,358 [speaking Spanish] in one of those games. 256 00:11:45,318 --> 00:11:46,360 Tequila, we named him. 257 00:11:46,445 --> 00:11:47,946 [speaking English] We gave him, like, Froot Loops to eat. 258 00:11:48,029 --> 00:11:49,405 Like 12 years that thing lived... 259 00:11:49,489 --> 00:11:51,783 until my cousin, Antoni, ate him on a dare. 260 00:11:51,866 --> 00:11:53,201 Fucking asshole. 261 00:11:54,243 --> 00:11:56,412 I'm definitely a carbon monoxide guy. 262 00:11:57,288 --> 00:11:59,749 Put on some tunes, breathe deep, go out easy. 263 00:12:00,875 --> 00:12:02,919 - Maybe pills. - Figures. 264 00:12:03,002 --> 00:12:04,378 What do you mean, "figures"? 265 00:12:04,463 --> 00:12:06,255 Pills are expensive. 266 00:12:07,423 --> 00:12:08,424 But you don't even think about that. 267 00:12:08,508 --> 00:12:11,470 Well, I didn't realize that my hypothetical suicide had a budget. 268 00:12:11,553 --> 00:12:13,262 Some of us have to think about these things. 269 00:12:13,346 --> 00:12:15,348 I make 11 cents an hour. 270 00:12:15,431 --> 00:12:18,142 When I get outta here, I will have no home... 271 00:12:18,226 --> 00:12:21,771 I will have no job... and not a whole lot of prospects. 272 00:12:21,855 --> 00:12:23,940 All the more reason to start thinking economically. 273 00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,485 Welcome to the real world, princess. 274 00:12:26,568 --> 00:12:28,402 This is not a healthy discussion. 275 00:12:29,112 --> 00:12:32,323 You know, when you go to a shooting range, you don't have to pay until you leave. 276 00:12:32,557 --> 00:12:34,101 So you can check out a gun... 277 00:12:34,826 --> 00:12:36,953 shoot yourself right there. Wouldn't cost you a cent. 278 00:12:37,996 --> 00:12:39,873 I would like to change the subject, please. 279 00:12:41,457 --> 00:12:44,085 You know, the... hot one's back. 280 00:12:44,168 --> 00:12:46,045 What do you mean, "the hot one"? 281 00:12:46,129 --> 00:12:47,130 Your girlfriend. 282 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,634 The Bettie Page of Litchfield. 283 00:12:52,426 --> 00:12:53,512 Alex is back? 284 00:12:56,011 --> 00:12:57,096 I gotta go find her. 285 00:12:57,098 --> 00:13:00,000 - Oh, hey! You're on the clock here. - Well, can I go early? 286 00:13:00,209 --> 00:13:01,102 Sure. 287 00:13:01,185 --> 00:13:03,605 Why don't you grab a happy hour cocktail with her at TGI Fridays? 288 00:13:03,688 --> 00:13:05,928 - You wanna put in for vacation time, too? - Okay, okay, all right. 289 00:13:05,930 --> 00:13:07,709 Finish your fucking job. 290 00:13:08,527 --> 00:13:10,278 It's not like she's goin' anywhere. 291 00:13:10,361 --> 00:13:12,071 And to be honest, she looked a little rough. 292 00:13:13,281 --> 00:13:15,449 It sucks when hot chicks start to cool down. 293 00:13:16,701 --> 00:13:19,704 [man speaking indistinctly on PA] 294 00:13:19,788 --> 00:13:20,914 Okay, okay, listen up. 295 00:13:20,997 --> 00:13:23,374 If you don't have children comin' today, please come back another time. 296 00:13:23,457 --> 00:13:25,627 And for all you mothers, it's a numbers day. 297 00:13:25,710 --> 00:13:26,920 No special request. 298 00:13:27,003 --> 00:13:29,848 I only wanna trim so I look the same as the last time I saw her. 299 00:13:30,131 --> 00:13:32,175 It's called object permanence. 300 00:13:32,258 --> 00:13:35,009 It's also called boring... but you the boss. 301 00:13:35,929 --> 00:13:37,639 And what are we doin' with you today? 302 00:13:37,722 --> 00:13:40,183 I'll take number seven, please. 303 00:13:41,935 --> 00:13:43,311 You excited for Mother's Day? 304 00:13:43,394 --> 00:13:46,022 Oh, yeah, all my kids are comin'. 305 00:13:46,105 --> 00:13:48,983 Little Donovan and baby Frankie, 306 00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:51,695 that's short for Francesca, and the twins. 307 00:13:51,778 --> 00:13:52,904 You got four kids? 308 00:13:52,987 --> 00:13:56,157 Oh, sure. Catholic. You know how it goes. 309 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,034 You don't got no kids. 310 00:13:58,117 --> 00:14:01,329 Yes, I do. I have four kids and they're all coming to see me. 311 00:14:01,412 --> 00:14:03,122 Bull... shit. 312 00:14:03,206 --> 00:14:05,541 - Show me your stomach. - What? 313 00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:08,169 Mother of four, twins no less. 314 00:14:08,252 --> 00:14:10,421 Let me see your belly. 315 00:14:10,504 --> 00:14:14,425 Maybe I did a lot of sit-ups, and maybe they're adopted. 316 00:14:14,508 --> 00:14:16,344 Get the fuck out of my chair. 317 00:14:16,427 --> 00:14:19,055 No, I need this. I lost my van. 318 00:14:19,138 --> 00:14:20,974 I have been scrubbin' toilets. 319 00:14:21,057 --> 00:14:22,684 Let me feel like a person. 320 00:14:22,767 --> 00:14:25,895 You can feel like a person after I see my actual baby 321 00:14:25,979 --> 00:14:27,772 that came out of me and exists. 322 00:14:27,856 --> 00:14:31,025 Well, maybe my mother's comin' to visit and I need to look nice for her. 323 00:14:31,109 --> 00:14:32,819 [speaking Spanish] Liar. 324 00:14:32,909 --> 00:14:35,954 I really haven't been feelin' so good lately, 325 00:14:36,030 --> 00:14:39,701 and dollin' up's the only way I got to feel better. 326 00:14:42,495 --> 00:14:43,747 - Okay. - What? 327 00:14:43,830 --> 00:14:45,582 - I'll work on her real fast. - Come... 328 00:14:45,665 --> 00:14:47,500 I got a soft spot for the pathetics. 329 00:14:47,584 --> 00:14:49,586 [softly] Thank you, thank you, thank you. 330 00:14:50,629 --> 00:14:52,631 Somebody comin' to visit you this weekend? 331 00:14:53,715 --> 00:14:54,924 My son, Michael. 332 00:14:55,008 --> 00:14:56,050 Oh. 333 00:14:56,134 --> 00:15:00,054 How does that work, with you being a lady-man and all? 334 00:15:00,138 --> 00:15:03,850 Do you and his mother both celebrate the day? 335 00:15:03,933 --> 00:15:06,102 You really wanna be callin' me a lady-man 336 00:15:06,185 --> 00:15:08,688 when I got a fistful of your hair in my hand? 337 00:15:08,772 --> 00:15:10,899 Oh, I just thought it sounded nice. 338 00:15:10,982 --> 00:15:13,317 I don't know from these things. 339 00:15:13,401 --> 00:15:15,278 That's why I'm askin' questions. 340 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:19,198 We're sharing the day. 341 00:15:19,282 --> 00:15:22,410 He's spending Father's Day with her new boyfriend, the pastor. 342 00:15:22,493 --> 00:15:23,494 Oh. 343 00:15:23,577 --> 00:15:26,956 Well, that doesn't seem fair. He's not his father. 344 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:28,958 Well, I'm not sure I am anymore, either. 345 00:15:29,042 --> 00:15:30,627 ♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪ 346 00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:34,172 ♪ And don't you come back No more, no more, no more, no more ♪ 347 00:15:34,255 --> 00:15:37,550 ♪ Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more ♪ 348 00:15:37,634 --> 00:15:38,760 ♪ What you say? ♪ 349 00:15:38,843 --> 00:15:40,094 - Mmm-mmm. - [chuckles] 350 00:15:40,178 --> 00:15:42,180 We goin' about this the wrong way. I should sing. 351 00:15:42,263 --> 00:15:44,390 It'll drive him out of there screaming. 352 00:15:44,473 --> 00:15:45,767 - Mmm. - [chuckles] 353 00:15:45,850 --> 00:15:46,976 Mmm. Do my feet again. 354 00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:49,228 Mmm. Like this, baby? Like this? 355 00:15:49,312 --> 00:15:50,396 Ah, yeah. Ooh. 356 00:15:51,397 --> 00:15:53,692 Yeah, you squeeze there while I pinch my nipples. 357 00:15:53,775 --> 00:15:56,027 We have some more of that spicy chicken from Bongo's, 358 00:15:56,110 --> 00:15:57,654 - have sex again. - [chuckles] 359 00:15:57,737 --> 00:16:00,281 I run around the block a couple times, do some jumpin' jacks. 360 00:16:00,364 --> 00:16:01,741 Get out. 361 00:16:02,784 --> 00:16:04,160 Do you hear me? 362 00:16:04,243 --> 00:16:07,621 It is time for you to vacate the premises. 363 00:16:07,706 --> 00:16:08,957 It's your eviction notice. 364 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,846 [sighs] Ooh. 365 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,044 Did you see that? 366 00:16:14,577 --> 00:16:15,619 That was a foot. 367 00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:17,631 A whole person in there. 368 00:16:19,968 --> 00:16:21,219 Mmm. You scared. 369 00:16:22,303 --> 00:16:23,304 A little. 370 00:16:24,513 --> 00:16:26,265 Don't be. You're gonna make a great daddy. 371 00:16:27,976 --> 00:16:29,018 Ah. 372 00:16:29,102 --> 00:16:30,519 - Back on that foot. - [chuckles] 373 00:16:30,603 --> 00:16:32,021 Back on that... There you go. 374 00:16:32,105 --> 00:16:33,314 There. 375 00:16:35,192 --> 00:16:37,651 You know, there's nothing wrong with that light. 376 00:16:37,736 --> 00:16:39,738 [chuckles] Oh, yeah? Why don't you let me be the judge of that? 377 00:16:39,821 --> 00:16:41,364 Because you don't know what the fuck you're doing. 378 00:16:41,447 --> 00:16:42,531 Okay, you know what? 379 00:16:42,615 --> 00:16:46,160 For your information, there's actually a loose fluorescent bulb in here. 380 00:16:46,244 --> 00:16:49,538 You're lucky I caught this, or we might all be dead. 381 00:16:49,622 --> 00:16:50,623 [scoffs] 382 00:16:52,583 --> 00:16:54,627 You know why she's in here all the time lately? 383 00:16:54,711 --> 00:16:55,962 'Cause she's a dumbshit. 384 00:16:56,045 --> 00:16:58,006 'Cause she got a crush on me. 385 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,091 What are you talking about? 386 00:17:00,174 --> 00:17:03,469 When she had that bet thing going on with the bully butch bitch, 387 00:17:03,552 --> 00:17:06,222 she tried to get me, but I didn't do it. 388 00:17:06,305 --> 00:17:07,724 She wasn't offering anything good. 389 00:17:07,807 --> 00:17:10,643 Well, I've seen you suck a cock for a bag of ranch Doritos. 390 00:17:10,727 --> 00:17:14,272 Totally different. That was a cock. And I love ranch flavor. 391 00:17:14,814 --> 00:17:17,066 The point is, she's really into me, 392 00:17:17,150 --> 00:17:18,735 which is why she keeps coming around here. 393 00:17:18,818 --> 00:17:20,694 Well, you gotta stop leading her on. 394 00:17:20,779 --> 00:17:23,614 I ain't done nothin'. I can't help that I'm dyke bait. 395 00:17:26,242 --> 00:17:28,995 Yeah, look at her, bendin' down, showin' you her ass. 396 00:17:29,078 --> 00:17:30,246 I think you're right. 397 00:17:30,329 --> 00:17:33,582 I'm telling you... she's so desperate for me. 398 00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,252 Makes me almost sad for her. 399 00:17:39,172 --> 00:17:41,090 [drier timer buzzing] 400 00:17:41,174 --> 00:17:42,633 [oven timer dings] 401 00:17:45,058 --> 00:17:46,512 Oh, Nicky! She coming! 402 00:17:46,595 --> 00:17:48,890 - Stop her! It's not ready! - What's not ready? 403 00:17:48,973 --> 00:17:50,892 No, Mommy, you have to go back! Go back to bed! 404 00:17:50,975 --> 00:17:52,894 Sweetie, we're having brunch at the Four Seasons. 405 00:17:52,977 --> 00:17:54,771 Paloma, why is she not dressed? 406 00:17:54,854 --> 00:17:57,690 [stammers] I tell her, but she want to surprise you. 407 00:17:57,774 --> 00:17:59,567 She been up since 6:00. 408 00:17:59,650 --> 00:18:02,445 Well, that's very cute, honey, 409 00:18:02,528 --> 00:18:03,947 but we need to get dressed 410 00:18:04,030 --> 00:18:06,657 and put on our happy faces and pretend we like Grandma. 411 00:18:07,909 --> 00:18:09,360 There'll be shrimp cocktail. 412 00:18:09,418 --> 00:18:10,912 But it's Mother's Day. 413 00:18:10,995 --> 00:18:12,538 That's right. It's my day. 414 00:18:12,621 --> 00:18:16,918 So we will get through brunch, and I will head straight for the spa. 415 00:18:17,001 --> 00:18:18,127 Happy mother. 416 00:18:19,628 --> 00:18:20,880 Oh, come on, sweetheart. 417 00:18:20,964 --> 00:18:23,925 Put on the blue dress I bought you from Bergdorf's. 418 00:18:33,309 --> 00:18:35,478 She didn't read my card. 419 00:18:40,149 --> 00:18:42,485 Your hair looks nice like that. 420 00:18:42,568 --> 00:18:44,028 Oh, you noticed. 421 00:18:44,112 --> 00:18:45,238 - [scoffs] - Oh, honey. 422 00:18:45,321 --> 00:18:48,407 Yeah, well, I'm glad to see you keepin' yourself up, doll. 423 00:18:48,491 --> 00:18:52,495 No one likes to see a beautiful, ripe fruit just wither on the vine. 424 00:18:52,578 --> 00:18:53,955 You like my ripe fruit? 425 00:18:54,038 --> 00:18:57,458 [scoffs] So sweet, so juicy. 426 00:18:57,541 --> 00:19:00,920 Oh, as if the smell of this dinner isn't making me feel nauseous enough. 427 00:19:01,004 --> 00:19:03,631 Well, maybe you'd rather talk about vegetables, huh? 428 00:19:03,714 --> 00:19:06,675 Like your favorite stalk of celery that just walked in. 429 00:19:06,759 --> 00:19:09,345 Yeah, looks like she's lost a little bit of her crunch. 430 00:19:09,428 --> 00:19:11,472 What the fuck is she doin' back here? 431 00:19:16,727 --> 00:19:17,770 Hi. 432 00:19:17,854 --> 00:19:19,397 Inmate, no touching. 433 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,649 Yeah, inmate. Let's just keep it orthodox. 434 00:19:21,732 --> 00:19:24,986 What happened? What are you doing back here? 435 00:19:25,069 --> 00:19:26,445 And... 436 00:19:26,529 --> 00:19:28,031 What happened to your face? 437 00:19:29,198 --> 00:19:31,742 Just a little trouble in lockup. I was in a mood. 438 00:19:33,077 --> 00:19:36,205 I forgot that you should let crackheads have their way. 439 00:19:36,289 --> 00:19:37,373 Well, yeah. 440 00:19:37,456 --> 00:19:38,958 Crackheads... 441 00:19:39,042 --> 00:19:40,084 Wookiees... 442 00:19:40,168 --> 00:19:41,835 you know, you gotta let 'em win. 443 00:19:42,879 --> 00:19:45,496 What... did you do? 444 00:19:45,498 --> 00:19:48,927 This is so unbelievably embarrassing. 445 00:19:49,010 --> 00:19:50,594 Come on. 446 00:19:50,678 --> 00:19:52,925 Like anybody in here can judge. 447 00:19:55,099 --> 00:19:56,517 How am I back here? 448 00:19:57,768 --> 00:20:00,123 That's my question. Come on. 449 00:20:00,939 --> 00:20:02,941 [stammers] Let's go take a walk. 450 00:20:03,024 --> 00:20:05,109 [Taystee] But can't real faith make shit happen? 451 00:20:05,193 --> 00:20:07,236 Look, who knows anything, all right? 452 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:08,737 All I'm saying is, they did some kind of 453 00:20:08,821 --> 00:20:10,114 voodoo spell on Vee, 454 00:20:10,198 --> 00:20:11,574 and, boom, bitch was gone. 455 00:20:11,657 --> 00:20:12,700 Yo. 456 00:20:13,242 --> 00:20:15,578 Vee is fine. 457 00:20:15,661 --> 00:20:17,288 - [Taystee] Oh, my God. - Yo, okay. 458 00:20:17,371 --> 00:20:19,123 I cannot go through this again. 459 00:20:19,207 --> 00:20:24,837 Suzanne... you throw that tray, or anything on it, 460 00:20:24,921 --> 00:20:26,923 we dog-pilin' on you till you're flat. 461 00:20:27,006 --> 00:20:29,383 - Mmm-hmm. - Agree to disagree, 462 00:20:29,467 --> 00:20:31,135 and let's get on with our lives. 463 00:20:31,219 --> 00:20:32,470 Agree to disagree. 464 00:20:32,553 --> 00:20:34,222 Uh-huh. Shit. 465 00:20:34,305 --> 00:20:35,431 Rhymes with, "Vee." 466 00:20:35,514 --> 00:20:37,485 Rhymes with, "Let it be." 467 00:20:37,565 --> 00:20:41,104 So, what you want with this voodoo magic, anyhow? 468 00:20:41,187 --> 00:20:42,396 [Taystee] Don't be playin' around with that. 469 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:46,150 Mess with the evil forces, you'll be out like Cedric Diggory. 470 00:20:46,234 --> 00:20:47,651 Who? 471 00:20:47,735 --> 00:20:48,930 [both] Harry Potter. 472 00:20:48,932 --> 00:20:50,975 Died in the Triwizard Tournament? 473 00:20:51,364 --> 00:20:52,698 [Poussey] Look, I don't know. I just... 474 00:20:52,781 --> 00:20:54,242 I think it's interestin'. 475 00:20:54,325 --> 00:20:57,954 I mean, who knows what kind of forces are operatin' out there in the universe? 476 00:20:58,037 --> 00:21:00,873 Maybe it ain't such a bad idea to try to get 'em on your side. 477 00:21:01,874 --> 00:21:04,335 [Poussey's mom] All right, Poussey, you read the Calvin part, 478 00:21:04,418 --> 00:21:06,584 I'll be the mom. Here. 479 00:21:07,171 --> 00:21:09,215 "Mom, was I ever a grub?" 480 00:21:09,298 --> 00:21:10,299 "A what?" 481 00:21:10,383 --> 00:21:14,428 "You know, a larva. Did I really 'pup-ate' at age two?" 482 00:21:15,179 --> 00:21:16,155 "Pu-pate." 483 00:21:17,056 --> 00:21:18,391 Like... poo? 484 00:21:18,474 --> 00:21:21,852 Oh, come on. You know that word from when we studied butterflies. 485 00:21:21,935 --> 00:21:24,313 The caterpillar goes through the pupal stage and then... 486 00:21:24,397 --> 00:21:25,648 I love you, Mommy. 487 00:21:27,108 --> 00:21:29,443 Love you, too, baby. 488 00:21:29,628 --> 00:21:30,837 Now, let's keep reading. 489 00:21:33,239 --> 00:21:34,782 I am so excited! 490 00:21:34,865 --> 00:21:36,492 I don't think I'm gonna be able to go to sleep tonight. 491 00:21:36,575 --> 00:21:37,951 No, you gotta try. 492 00:21:38,036 --> 00:21:40,121 You don't want your baby seeing you with bags under your eyes. 493 00:21:40,204 --> 00:21:41,914 That's setting a really bad example. 494 00:21:41,998 --> 00:21:44,583 So, how you feelin' about your first Mother's Day? 495 00:21:44,667 --> 00:21:46,585 - I'm not a mother yet. - Sure you are. 496 00:21:46,669 --> 00:21:49,342 If she's already givin' you pain and trouble, you're a mother. 497 00:21:49,713 --> 00:21:50,881 And I'm a mother. 498 00:21:50,964 --> 00:21:53,134 You getting me a present tomorrow for all I've done for you? 499 00:21:53,759 --> 00:21:55,844 Don't I just cause you pain and trouble? 500 00:21:55,928 --> 00:21:57,694 At least get me a card or something. 501 00:21:58,722 --> 00:22:00,558 Draw me one of your weird pictures. 502 00:22:02,268 --> 00:22:03,519 Give me my stuff! 503 00:22:03,602 --> 00:22:06,522 Oh, no? Something to hide? 504 00:22:06,605 --> 00:22:09,233 Love letters, maybe, from all those men in your life? 505 00:22:09,317 --> 00:22:10,776 This is fancy. 506 00:22:10,859 --> 00:22:11,860 Greenwich, Connecticut? 507 00:22:11,944 --> 00:22:13,362 Who the fuck you know in Greenwich, Connecticut? 508 00:22:13,446 --> 00:22:15,323 No one. I was gonna throw it out. It's stupid. 509 00:22:15,406 --> 00:22:17,325 "I've heard I'm to have a grandchild. 510 00:22:17,408 --> 00:22:18,992 I'd like to see you. 511 00:22:19,077 --> 00:22:21,370 Sincerely, Delia Mendez Powell." 512 00:22:22,163 --> 00:22:23,372 Mendez? 513 00:22:23,374 --> 00:22:25,522 Holy shit! This is Pornstache's mother? 514 00:22:26,917 --> 00:22:29,420 Yo, I smell money here. You gotta say yes. 515 00:22:29,503 --> 00:22:31,255 Write her back and tell her you'll see her. 516 00:22:31,339 --> 00:22:33,257 'Cause I need another person involved here, right? 517 00:22:33,341 --> 00:22:35,093 I don't wanna see her. 518 00:22:37,303 --> 00:22:40,223 Fine. Don't listen to your mother. 519 00:22:40,306 --> 00:22:42,683 'Cause that always works out so well. 520 00:22:46,562 --> 00:22:49,440 So, listen... I got a guy. 521 00:22:49,523 --> 00:22:50,983 You are a guy. 522 00:22:51,066 --> 00:22:52,360 Suck my dick. 523 00:22:55,113 --> 00:22:57,615 He's comin' up the tunnel on Wednesday. He's gonna sell it for us. 524 00:22:57,698 --> 00:22:59,325 So we gotta get that shit to the greenhouse. 525 00:22:59,408 --> 00:23:01,660 So far, the best plan we've come up with 526 00:23:01,744 --> 00:23:03,996 is takin' it out one bag at a time up our snatches 527 00:23:04,079 --> 00:23:06,915 while the meth-heads take their afternoon naps, okay? 528 00:23:06,999 --> 00:23:09,333 And that plan has more holes in it than we have, doesn't it? 529 00:23:10,043 --> 00:23:13,214 All right, we need to space these pompoms out more evenly. 530 00:23:13,832 --> 00:23:16,008 I'm a wacky clown. I don't need symmetry. 531 00:23:16,091 --> 00:23:18,636 And you're stallin'. It's time. 532 00:23:18,719 --> 00:23:21,680 It's so pretty. I like looking at it. 533 00:23:21,764 --> 00:23:24,933 Yeah, well, say goodbye, 'cause come Wednesday, 534 00:23:25,017 --> 00:23:28,229 that shit is going down the tunnel and out into the world for sale... 535 00:23:28,312 --> 00:23:29,730 like a Romanian baby. 536 00:23:30,368 --> 00:23:31,774 This shit is happenin'. 537 00:23:35,194 --> 00:23:37,696 [Gina] I take this ball of blue energy... 538 00:23:39,948 --> 00:23:41,825 and I pass it to you. 539 00:23:45,746 --> 00:23:48,499 I take this ball of blue energy and I pass it... 540 00:23:48,582 --> 00:23:50,293 [Frieda] You sure you want to do this, Red? 541 00:23:50,376 --> 00:23:53,379 I've only got two years left, Frieda. 542 00:23:53,462 --> 00:23:58,217 Compared to what I was looking at when I got here, that's so little time. 543 00:23:58,301 --> 00:24:00,511 I see the light at the end of the tunnel. 544 00:24:00,594 --> 00:24:01,929 [chuckles] So to speak. 545 00:24:02,012 --> 00:24:05,266 [grunts] How much time we got before we have to rejoin the witch ladies? 546 00:24:05,349 --> 00:24:06,517 Oh, about a half hour. 547 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,562 It takes 'em forever to pass that ball around the circle. 548 00:24:09,645 --> 00:24:11,689 It drives Maxwell nuts. 549 00:24:11,772 --> 00:24:14,270 She smokes by the basketball courts till they're done. 550 00:24:14,272 --> 00:24:16,026 And this is okay with Caputo? 551 00:24:16,109 --> 00:24:20,900 Oh, it's a whole new world around here. A kinder, gentler Litchfield. 552 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,742 Wiccans get night walks on the full moon. 553 00:24:23,826 --> 00:24:26,745 Things that break get mostly fixed. 554 00:24:26,829 --> 00:24:30,791 I even hear people are getting out early. 555 00:24:30,874 --> 00:24:33,461 Uh, Sanchez in the kitchen, 556 00:24:33,544 --> 00:24:37,465 that, uh... that girl with the nostrils from grounds crew. 557 00:24:37,548 --> 00:24:39,007 [panting] All the more reason to do this. 558 00:24:39,091 --> 00:24:41,385 Are you sure? Are you really sure? 559 00:24:41,469 --> 00:24:43,637 We had a good thing goin' here, Red. 560 00:24:43,721 --> 00:24:44,972 [grunting] 561 00:24:45,973 --> 00:24:47,225 I'm sure. 562 00:24:48,684 --> 00:24:50,185 Bye-bye, tunnel. 563 00:24:51,354 --> 00:24:52,480 [groans] 564 00:24:53,731 --> 00:24:55,983 [Gina] And ye shall be free from slavery. 565 00:24:56,984 --> 00:25:00,028 And as a sign that ye be really free... 566 00:25:00,112 --> 00:25:02,573 ye shall be naked in thy rites. 567 00:25:02,656 --> 00:25:04,367 And ye shall dance... 568 00:25:05,493 --> 00:25:07,453 Wait, don't do that. 569 00:25:07,536 --> 00:25:08,931 It's metaphorical naked. 570 00:25:08,933 --> 00:25:11,622 I mean, we're passing around an invisible ball, for Christ's sake. 571 00:25:11,624 --> 00:25:13,834 I thought we didn't believe in Christ. 572 00:25:13,917 --> 00:25:15,294 [Frieda] Better hurry. 573 00:25:15,378 --> 00:25:16,879 [Red] Almost finished. 574 00:25:20,215 --> 00:25:22,385 You're a twisted fuck, aren't ya? 575 00:25:22,878 --> 00:25:24,637 Life is complex, huh? 576 00:25:25,137 --> 00:25:26,805 Let's rejoin the circle. 577 00:25:26,889 --> 00:25:29,475 I could use some energy, blue or otherwise. 578 00:25:29,558 --> 00:25:30,601 [grunts] 579 00:25:31,843 --> 00:25:33,145 Healy, I wanna go home. 580 00:25:33,228 --> 00:25:35,188 You haven't answered my question. 581 00:25:35,273 --> 00:25:39,234 Why is Rogers here? I started Safe Place. 582 00:25:39,318 --> 00:25:42,321 These women trust me, okay? And I'm good at my job, Joe. 583 00:25:42,405 --> 00:25:44,865 She's here because she's needed. 584 00:25:44,948 --> 00:25:46,700 We never replaced Callahan. 585 00:25:46,784 --> 00:25:48,286 We all know Bailey is senile. 586 00:25:48,567 --> 00:25:52,415 For months, you're tellin' me how swamped you are, how overwhelmed. 587 00:25:52,498 --> 00:25:54,082 Okay, I take it back. I'm fine. 588 00:25:54,166 --> 00:25:56,294 Let her go. I've got it covered, okay? 589 00:25:57,432 --> 00:25:58,288 No. 590 00:26:00,088 --> 00:26:02,049 Fine, then she can have all the blacks and the crazies. 591 00:26:03,171 --> 00:26:03,886 Healy... 592 00:26:03,888 --> 00:26:06,011 Look, I've got a bad feeling about this one. 593 00:26:06,094 --> 00:26:08,138 She doesn't smell right, and I mean that literally. 594 00:26:08,140 --> 00:26:11,097 She's got a weird smell. Have you noticed that? 595 00:26:11,099 --> 00:26:12,072 Sam! 596 00:26:12,643 --> 00:26:14,312 She's here now. 597 00:26:14,395 --> 00:26:15,563 She's your coworker. 598 00:26:16,698 --> 00:26:19,660 Eh, be nice, be respectful. 599 00:26:20,943 --> 00:26:22,528 Come on, be a gentleman. 600 00:26:23,054 --> 00:26:25,030 [Healy's mom] Yes, my little gentleman. 601 00:26:25,242 --> 00:26:26,984 Gentleman Sam. 602 00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:29,422 Yes, and yes again! 603 00:26:29,775 --> 00:26:32,292 Because the angels have spoken to me... 604 00:26:32,663 --> 00:26:34,832 [softly] and they've told me their secrets. 605 00:26:36,291 --> 00:26:37,851 I brought you breakfast. 606 00:26:41,964 --> 00:26:43,716 Now it's a party! 607 00:26:43,799 --> 00:26:45,551 Come dance with Mommy. 608 00:26:53,042 --> 00:26:54,627 [Alex] Is your mom coming? 609 00:26:55,644 --> 00:26:56,839 Are you kidding me? 610 00:26:57,521 --> 00:27:00,649 Carol is spending the day with her un-imprisoned children. 611 00:27:00,651 --> 00:27:01,652 Mmm. 612 00:27:04,820 --> 00:27:08,281 Diane would smack the shit out of me if she were still alive. 613 00:27:08,366 --> 00:27:09,575 [sniffles] 614 00:27:11,535 --> 00:27:14,596 She's probably looking down right now just... 615 00:27:15,873 --> 00:27:18,121 vomiting angel dust. 616 00:27:21,518 --> 00:27:23,552 I feel so stupid. 617 00:27:24,423 --> 00:27:26,148 You were living in Queens. 618 00:27:26,759 --> 00:27:29,595 I'm sure that made prison seem much more attractive. 619 00:27:31,096 --> 00:27:33,599 Every time I close my eyes, I relive that moment. 620 00:27:33,972 --> 00:27:35,809 Fuck up. Fuck up. 621 00:27:35,893 --> 00:27:36,849 Alex... 622 00:27:36,851 --> 00:27:39,562 [sobbing] I had a chance to make a life. 623 00:27:39,647 --> 00:27:41,690 Okay, you need to shut up. 624 00:27:43,442 --> 00:27:44,443 [Alex whimpers] 625 00:27:45,277 --> 00:27:46,445 [sniffles] 626 00:27:48,030 --> 00:27:50,658 Oh, that's not hot when your snot drips in my mouth like that. 627 00:27:50,741 --> 00:27:51,742 - No? - No. 628 00:27:51,825 --> 00:27:53,952 - It's not your thing? - No, I don't like that. 629 00:27:54,036 --> 00:27:55,788 [chuckles] I thought you'd be into it. 630 00:27:55,871 --> 00:27:56,872 Mmm-mmm. 631 00:27:59,291 --> 00:28:00,584 [sobbing] 632 00:28:01,877 --> 00:28:03,504 I'm such an idiot. 633 00:28:03,587 --> 00:28:05,897 No, Alex... 634 00:28:07,425 --> 00:28:10,218 You have to stop. You have to. It wasn't your fault. 635 00:28:10,302 --> 00:28:11,854 Of course it was my fault! 636 00:28:12,430 --> 00:28:14,320 No one put that gun in my hand. 637 00:28:14,322 --> 00:28:16,109 - But you didn't know. - Fuck up! 638 00:28:16,224 --> 00:28:18,018 Alex, it wasn't you. 639 00:28:18,303 --> 00:28:19,554 It wasn't you. 640 00:28:22,523 --> 00:28:23,691 It... 641 00:28:32,950 --> 00:28:34,493 [softly] It was the system. 642 00:28:37,455 --> 00:28:38,789 You got caught... 643 00:28:40,123 --> 00:28:41,709 in the system. 644 00:28:43,251 --> 00:28:46,880 I'm just a fly in the web of the prison industrial complex? 645 00:28:46,964 --> 00:28:48,549 [scoffs] Christ. 646 00:28:48,632 --> 00:28:50,968 But at least we're in the same web, right? 647 00:28:52,970 --> 00:28:54,847 I mean, at least we're in it together. 648 00:28:57,099 --> 00:28:58,183 Yeah. 649 00:28:59,518 --> 00:29:00,853 At least we're in it together. 650 00:29:00,936 --> 00:29:02,187 [Donaldson] Ladies! 651 00:29:02,270 --> 00:29:04,397 Get the heck out of there right now! 652 00:29:04,482 --> 00:29:07,192 You're out of bounds! Count's in five! 653 00:29:08,486 --> 00:29:10,863 I know you're back there! I'm not an idiot! 654 00:29:10,946 --> 00:29:13,741 Out now! You're both gettin' shots! 655 00:29:26,419 --> 00:29:28,005 Place is goin' to hell. 656 00:29:28,088 --> 00:29:30,215 Hands off! And fingers off! 657 00:29:30,298 --> 00:29:32,968 Back away from the table! And nobody touch me. 658 00:29:33,051 --> 00:29:35,471 If anybody touches me, you don't go in. 659 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,642 You are all expected to behave. 660 00:29:39,725 --> 00:29:42,435 Anyone not behaving will be sent back home. 661 00:29:42,907 --> 00:29:45,147 All caregivers must be reachable 662 00:29:45,230 --> 00:29:48,901 in case your children you've checked in need to be sent back out. 663 00:29:49,943 --> 00:29:51,319 Welcome to the fun zone. 664 00:29:51,677 --> 00:29:53,179 Mother's last name? 665 00:29:53,197 --> 00:29:55,532 I think you know it. How you doin', my friend? 666 00:29:56,366 --> 00:29:57,660 Fine. Fine. 667 00:29:57,743 --> 00:29:59,870 Yeah? Glad to hear it. 668 00:29:59,953 --> 00:30:01,914 So, listen, I got a couple of your baby's aunts and uncle here. 669 00:30:01,997 --> 00:30:03,373 [softly] Hey, can you please keep it down? 670 00:30:03,456 --> 00:30:05,083 Stop sweatin' it, bro. Nobody's listenin'. 671 00:30:06,043 --> 00:30:07,044 Uh, names? 672 00:30:07,127 --> 00:30:09,004 You're gonna have to learn these soon, too, hermano. 673 00:30:09,087 --> 00:30:13,551 Eva, Lucy, Christina, and that's Emiliano. 674 00:30:14,415 --> 00:30:15,678 So, listen, you should come by the house soon, 675 00:30:15,761 --> 00:30:16,804 you know, get to know us. 676 00:30:16,887 --> 00:30:20,223 I'm not just busting balls, okay? You're family now. 677 00:30:20,581 --> 00:30:22,100 Okay, here are your badges. [chuckles awkwardly] Have a nice day. 678 00:30:22,184 --> 00:30:23,226 All right, go ahead, kids. 679 00:30:23,310 --> 00:30:25,646 Go give your mother a big hug and a kiss for me. 680 00:30:25,729 --> 00:30:26,855 And Emiliano... 681 00:30:26,939 --> 00:30:29,191 no tongue, you little perv. 682 00:30:30,317 --> 00:30:31,694 Happy Mother's Day, Johnny boy. 683 00:30:32,945 --> 00:30:34,362 [all cheering] 684 00:30:47,668 --> 00:30:48,961 [boy] This blows! 685 00:30:49,044 --> 00:30:50,295 [puppies yapping] 686 00:30:55,968 --> 00:30:57,510 [imitating airplane engine] 687 00:30:58,688 --> 00:31:02,024 Hey, Warren! You know you're not allowed out there. 688 00:31:02,224 --> 00:31:05,310 Yeah, but I made a kite, Mr. Healy. Kids love kites. 689 00:31:05,393 --> 00:31:07,605 That may be true, but you've been banned 690 00:31:07,688 --> 00:31:10,273 from interacting with the children, and you know that. 691 00:31:10,357 --> 00:31:12,275 Yeah, that was last year. 692 00:31:12,359 --> 00:31:16,321 And this is a kite, not Chinese jump rope. 693 00:31:16,669 --> 00:31:18,531 The answer is no, Warren. 694 00:31:19,704 --> 00:31:22,900 Now, you're not to step foot outside of this building. 695 00:31:23,579 --> 00:31:24,580 Is that clear? 696 00:31:25,998 --> 00:31:27,124 Yes, sir. 697 00:31:44,224 --> 00:31:46,769 [Brook] Everyone needs to back up and line up. 698 00:31:47,159 --> 00:31:48,896 Okay, okay, who's first? 699 00:31:49,467 --> 00:31:50,856 Where's the stick? 700 00:31:50,939 --> 00:31:52,065 Sticks? We can't give 'em sticks. 701 00:31:52,359 --> 00:31:53,942 How are they supposed to break the piñata? 702 00:31:54,026 --> 00:31:55,819 I don't know. Punch it, I guess. 703 00:31:55,903 --> 00:31:58,071 Give it a good shot in the side, work out their anger. 704 00:31:58,155 --> 00:32:00,157 They're having fun. They're not angry. 705 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:01,408 Sure they are. 706 00:32:01,498 --> 00:32:05,052 Hey, kid, your mother is in prison. 707 00:32:05,312 --> 00:32:06,246 Pummel the piñata. 708 00:32:06,856 --> 00:32:07,821 Jab, jab. 709 00:32:13,654 --> 00:32:14,867 Hit it. 710 00:32:15,790 --> 00:32:17,066 All right. 711 00:32:19,509 --> 00:32:20,552 [gasps] 712 00:32:20,636 --> 00:32:23,013 No, you look really good! 713 00:32:23,096 --> 00:32:24,765 You could, like, leave here and go straight to 714 00:32:24,848 --> 00:32:27,059 a My Chemical Romance concert and be the balls. 715 00:32:28,435 --> 00:32:32,940 [exclaims] You missed! Next! Loser. 716 00:32:33,023 --> 00:32:35,108 Why you being so fuckin' mean, man? They're kids. 717 00:32:35,192 --> 00:32:38,862 Number one, they miss, mo' candy for me. 718 00:32:38,946 --> 00:32:40,698 And number two, I don't like kids. 719 00:32:41,531 --> 00:32:43,575 I don't like mamas, neither, for that matter. 720 00:32:43,659 --> 00:32:45,035 Mine thinks I'm shit. 721 00:32:45,118 --> 00:32:47,329 Well, fuck her. I'm done with mama. 722 00:32:47,412 --> 00:32:49,665 - I'm done with stand-ins for mamas. - Mmm. 723 00:32:49,748 --> 00:32:52,042 I am parent-free and proud. 724 00:32:52,518 --> 00:32:54,419 Yeah, well, I liked my moms. 725 00:32:54,421 --> 00:32:56,048 Well, lucky you. 726 00:32:56,213 --> 00:32:57,380 [girl] Oh, come on. 727 00:32:57,464 --> 00:33:00,067 Maybe when mine dies, I'll like her better. 728 00:33:00,383 --> 00:33:01,979 A'ight, next! 729 00:33:02,469 --> 00:33:03,825 Shit. 730 00:33:04,423 --> 00:33:07,713 - Simon says deep breath in. - [all inhaling] 731 00:33:08,561 --> 00:33:11,353 - Simon says deep breath out. - [all exhaling] 732 00:33:11,436 --> 00:33:12,437 Hands in the air. 733 00:33:14,481 --> 00:33:16,358 Chang, Simon didn't say that. 734 00:33:16,441 --> 00:33:18,026 - [kids laughing] - But that's okay. 735 00:33:18,110 --> 00:33:22,197 I encourage you all to follow your own path. 736 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,241 What you in for? 737 00:33:24,324 --> 00:33:27,035 [Yoga Jones] Simon says tug at your ear. 738 00:33:27,119 --> 00:33:29,579 [Yoga Jones] Tug at your other ear. 739 00:33:29,662 --> 00:33:32,875 Simon says wiggle your hips. 740 00:33:32,958 --> 00:33:35,085 Simon says hop on one foot! 741 00:33:35,168 --> 00:33:37,880 - Duck. - [Yoga Jones] Simon says wiggle your hips. 742 00:33:37,963 --> 00:33:39,923 - Duck. - [Yoga Jones] Jump up in the air! 743 00:33:40,007 --> 00:33:41,925 - Simon says turn around. - Duck. 744 00:33:42,009 --> 00:33:44,177 - [Yoga Jones] Don't turn around. - Goose. 745 00:33:44,261 --> 00:33:47,222 [Yoga Jones] Simon says hands on your head. 746 00:33:48,556 --> 00:33:51,810 - Simon says hands on your knees. - [girl] Duck... 747 00:33:51,894 --> 00:33:53,979 Use his shirt like a paper towel. 748 00:33:54,062 --> 00:33:55,438 He loves it. 749 00:33:55,522 --> 00:33:58,942 One, two, three, go. 750 00:33:59,026 --> 00:34:00,610 [kids exclaiming] 751 00:34:02,112 --> 00:34:04,156 Yo, hey, hey! Get out... Get out of here! 752 00:34:04,239 --> 00:34:06,074 - [kids giggling] - Get out of here! 753 00:34:06,158 --> 00:34:08,786 You! You better get out of here! Where's your mother, boy? 754 00:34:08,869 --> 00:34:10,649 Get out of here! 755 00:34:10,651 --> 00:34:13,067 I don't understand. Why isn't your brother here? 756 00:34:14,041 --> 00:34:15,560 He says it's for babies. 757 00:34:16,043 --> 00:34:18,603 I haven't seen him in two and a half years. 758 00:34:20,798 --> 00:34:23,508 Look at you. You got a mustache? 759 00:34:23,591 --> 00:34:25,385 Jesus. [chuckles] 760 00:34:25,468 --> 00:34:26,553 You got hair everywhere? 761 00:34:26,636 --> 00:34:27,720 Oh, Mom! 762 00:34:27,805 --> 00:34:30,049 Never mind. Don't answer that. I can't... 763 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:32,184 It's good to see you. 764 00:34:32,267 --> 00:34:33,601 You, too. 765 00:34:33,685 --> 00:34:34,923 Lourdes treating you good? 766 00:34:35,010 --> 00:34:37,105 We're fine. She and Benny fight a lot. 767 00:34:37,189 --> 00:34:40,360 They had a crazy one when he got suspended from school last week. 768 00:34:41,157 --> 00:34:42,325 What'd he get suspended for? 769 00:34:42,408 --> 00:34:43,576 Cutting class. 770 00:34:44,196 --> 00:34:46,364 So, he misses school and they make him miss more school, 771 00:34:46,448 --> 00:34:47,866 that makes no sense. 772 00:34:47,950 --> 00:34:50,535 Jesus, what the hell? Cutting class. 773 00:34:50,618 --> 00:34:51,870 You know what? 774 00:34:51,954 --> 00:34:53,956 You tell him that he needs to get his little delinquent ass 775 00:34:54,039 --> 00:34:56,749 over here next week for visitation, you got that? 776 00:34:56,834 --> 00:34:57,960 Okay. 777 00:34:59,002 --> 00:35:00,212 [sighs] 778 00:35:00,533 --> 00:35:01,742 I'm sorry, papi. 779 00:35:02,672 --> 00:35:04,424 - You're here, right? - Yeah. 780 00:35:04,426 --> 00:35:06,770 Yeah, let's talk about you, huh? 781 00:35:07,803 --> 00:35:10,347 What you been up to for the last 30 months? Fun things? 782 00:35:11,348 --> 00:35:13,976 - [girl groans] - All right, next. 783 00:35:14,059 --> 00:35:16,186 [inmate 1] Yeah, I'm glad you're here. 784 00:35:16,269 --> 00:35:18,730 - [Taystee] You was just here. - You made my day. 785 00:35:20,107 --> 00:35:23,068 [Black Cindy chuckles] She made it. Next. 786 00:35:23,151 --> 00:35:26,363 Grandma's not a clown. This is eye shadow. 787 00:35:26,446 --> 00:35:28,198 Grandma put on a face for you. 788 00:35:28,281 --> 00:35:31,451 Please, I'm gorgeous. [clicks tongue] 789 00:35:31,534 --> 00:35:33,703 [inmate 2] I know what you're saying, but... 790 00:35:49,594 --> 00:35:52,472 - All right, honey, take a little spritz. - Mmm-mmm. 791 00:35:52,555 --> 00:35:55,934 What, no? Be a filthy animal. Who raised you, huh? 792 00:35:56,018 --> 00:35:57,060 Oh, hi, Annette. 793 00:35:58,422 --> 00:36:00,867 There you go. Wipe front to back, throw it in the trash. 794 00:36:00,981 --> 00:36:02,065 Thank you very much. 795 00:36:02,149 --> 00:36:03,483 This is a nice setup you got here. 796 00:36:03,566 --> 00:36:04,651 Oh, you. 797 00:36:04,734 --> 00:36:07,779 You are so lucky you are in electrical. 798 00:36:07,863 --> 00:36:09,489 Listen, you want my company or not? 799 00:36:09,931 --> 00:36:12,034 Yes, I do. Sit her down. 800 00:36:12,117 --> 00:36:13,576 - All right. - Yeah. 801 00:36:14,702 --> 00:36:15,913 Look at this shit, right? 802 00:36:15,996 --> 00:36:18,165 I mean, look at this, with these fuckin' kids. 803 00:36:18,248 --> 00:36:19,374 Oh, they're everywhere. 804 00:36:19,457 --> 00:36:20,500 I hate kids. 805 00:36:20,583 --> 00:36:22,710 You know, they don't drink, they haven't traveled. 806 00:36:24,296 --> 00:36:26,214 It's nasty in there. You might wanna hold your breath. 807 00:36:26,298 --> 00:36:28,133 Hey, can I talk to you? 808 00:36:29,217 --> 00:36:31,280 Um, I mean, I can wait till you're finished. 809 00:36:31,887 --> 00:36:34,431 This mad juju that you and Gloria do... 810 00:36:35,390 --> 00:36:36,762 how does it work? 811 00:36:37,475 --> 00:36:38,894 I'm really missing someone. 812 00:36:45,192 --> 00:36:47,485 Is the baby gonna live with us? 813 00:36:47,569 --> 00:36:48,674 Um... 814 00:36:49,321 --> 00:36:50,507 We'll see. 815 00:36:51,156 --> 00:36:52,449 "We'll see"? 816 00:36:52,532 --> 00:36:53,616 What the fuck is that? 817 00:36:54,256 --> 00:36:55,868 I'm gonna be a tía. 818 00:36:55,887 --> 00:36:57,013 [Bennett] Hey. 819 00:36:57,162 --> 00:36:58,447 Hi, there. 820 00:36:58,449 --> 00:36:59,826 Everyone having fun? 821 00:37:01,124 --> 00:37:02,292 [Dayanara sighs] 822 00:37:03,485 --> 00:37:05,832 Um, I have a Mother's Day joke. 823 00:37:06,379 --> 00:37:09,299 How come computers are so smart? 824 00:37:09,382 --> 00:37:10,883 It's 'cause they listen to their motherboards. 825 00:37:13,261 --> 00:37:14,930 Do you get it? That's what they call the... 826 00:37:15,013 --> 00:37:16,264 It's the board thingy in the computer. 827 00:37:16,348 --> 00:37:19,351 I think it's, like, what all the circuits are... attached to. 828 00:37:20,393 --> 00:37:22,757 - It's motherboard, 'cause... - [Aleida clears throat] 829 00:37:25,941 --> 00:37:27,199 All right, well, anyway, have a... 830 00:37:27,985 --> 00:37:29,925 have a great afternoon, so... 831 00:37:36,326 --> 00:37:37,827 CO Bennett, let's chat. 832 00:37:39,537 --> 00:37:41,414 When are you gonna learn to leave well enough alone? 833 00:37:41,498 --> 00:37:43,208 We were just talking. 834 00:37:43,291 --> 00:37:46,211 I do you a solid and sweep everything under the carpet, 835 00:37:46,294 --> 00:37:47,963 and you go around lifting up the corners. 836 00:37:48,046 --> 00:37:50,923 "Hey, everybody, look, look. Look what I got under here." 837 00:37:51,008 --> 00:37:53,468 Okay, respectfully, sir, I'm pretty sure you did yourself a solid. 838 00:37:55,095 --> 00:37:59,218 You think you're the only one ever to be tempted by an inmate? 839 00:37:59,641 --> 00:38:03,270 You think I never saw a tight piece sitting in my office chair crying, 840 00:38:03,353 --> 00:38:05,105 tears covering her khaki-covered tits, 841 00:38:05,188 --> 00:38:07,940 and thought, "I could bend that over my inbox"? 842 00:38:08,492 --> 00:38:11,069 A lesser man would be using this place 843 00:38:11,153 --> 00:38:14,656 as his own personal pussy smorgasbord, 844 00:38:14,739 --> 00:38:17,409 every fucking color, shape, size. 845 00:38:17,492 --> 00:38:19,779 Around the world without ever leaving upstate. 846 00:38:20,078 --> 00:38:21,454 But I am not a lesser man. 847 00:38:22,664 --> 00:38:24,541 When those feelings come on me, you know what I do? 848 00:38:24,624 --> 00:38:25,667 Please don't tell me. 849 00:38:25,750 --> 00:38:28,170 I take care of my fucking self. 850 00:38:28,540 --> 00:38:30,338 - Do you know what I'm saying? - I'm pretty sure I do. 851 00:38:30,422 --> 00:38:31,464 I spank it out, Bennett. 852 00:38:31,548 --> 00:38:32,799 Uh, it's... 853 00:38:32,882 --> 00:38:35,510 And for the love of Pete, I suggest you do the same... 854 00:38:35,593 --> 00:38:39,222 like decent men have been doing since time immemorial. 855 00:38:41,766 --> 00:38:45,770 Me and Diaz, it's about more than sex... sir. 856 00:38:47,980 --> 00:38:49,691 Just stay away from her, okay? 857 00:38:50,733 --> 00:38:52,194 Poor, deluded fuck. 858 00:38:52,277 --> 00:38:53,403 What'd you say? 859 00:38:57,615 --> 00:39:00,580 I mean, I just feel bad because it's her day, you know? 860 00:39:00,826 --> 00:39:03,455 And she's just sitting in the car while I'm here. 861 00:39:03,538 --> 00:39:05,248 I didn't mean to steal your mom's day. 862 00:39:05,571 --> 00:39:07,792 Yeah, well, I don't need another mother. 863 00:39:09,419 --> 00:39:10,793 I get that. 864 00:39:11,171 --> 00:39:13,465 So, how are things with the good pastor? 865 00:39:13,548 --> 00:39:15,007 He makin' your mom happy? 866 00:39:15,092 --> 00:39:16,251 Yeah, I guess. 867 00:39:16,569 --> 00:39:18,386 How about you? Gettin' along? 868 00:39:18,964 --> 00:39:20,680 Well, he taught me how to shave. 869 00:39:21,681 --> 00:39:23,168 What'd he say about that? 870 00:39:23,683 --> 00:39:27,019 He tell you to go down, shave with the grain? 871 00:39:27,104 --> 00:39:29,439 No, up and against the grain. 872 00:39:29,522 --> 00:39:30,898 That ain't how you do it. 873 00:39:30,982 --> 00:39:32,609 Well, that's what he told me. 874 00:39:32,692 --> 00:39:34,069 Well, I know better. 875 00:39:34,152 --> 00:39:35,362 Now, who you gonna listen to, 876 00:39:35,445 --> 00:39:38,448 someone who just shaves his face or someone who shaves everywhere? 877 00:39:38,673 --> 00:39:39,949 Ew. 878 00:39:43,370 --> 00:39:45,660 You think that baby over there is cuter than my girl? 879 00:39:45,662 --> 00:39:46,663 Ay, please. 880 00:39:46,950 --> 00:39:49,834 You have the prettiest bebecita here, after mine. 881 00:39:49,917 --> 00:39:51,002 I know. 882 00:39:51,086 --> 00:39:52,087 [giggles] 883 00:39:53,755 --> 00:39:55,423 [Maria] Ay, look at her. 884 00:39:55,507 --> 00:39:57,384 She looks terrified. 885 00:39:57,467 --> 00:39:59,219 - [Maritza] Oh, she'll come around. - [Maria] Mmm-hmm. 886 00:39:59,302 --> 00:40:02,139 I mean, what's more beautiful than having a baby? 887 00:40:02,222 --> 00:40:03,640 Making a life? 888 00:40:03,723 --> 00:40:05,100 The smell of their heads, 889 00:40:05,183 --> 00:40:07,852 the way they put their whole weight on you when they fall asleep. 890 00:40:07,935 --> 00:40:09,479 She's gonna fall in love, and then she'll be fine. 891 00:40:09,562 --> 00:40:10,813 Mmm-hmm. 892 00:40:11,650 --> 00:40:14,526 Ay, chica, you got a little something on your shirt there. 893 00:40:14,609 --> 00:40:17,695 - What is that? Piss or shit? - Oh, it smells like shit. 894 00:40:17,779 --> 00:40:21,158 Oh, my God! This is so disgusting! 895 00:40:22,617 --> 00:40:24,536 - Here, take it! Take it! - Eh? 896 00:40:24,619 --> 00:40:25,953 [Maritza] So gross! 897 00:40:26,037 --> 00:40:27,872 [speaking Spanish] Hey, what am I supposed to do with this baby? 898 00:40:27,955 --> 00:40:29,040 [speaking English] Give it to my sister! 899 00:40:29,124 --> 00:40:30,875 [grunting] 900 00:40:30,958 --> 00:40:32,794 Okay, this is gettin' ridiculous. 901 00:40:32,877 --> 00:40:34,921 Kids, stand back. 902 00:40:41,219 --> 00:40:42,887 [kids exclaiming] 903 00:40:47,099 --> 00:40:48,851 [all screaming excitedly] 904 00:40:55,858 --> 00:40:57,152 - [boy] There's no candy. - Where's the candy? 905 00:40:57,235 --> 00:40:58,528 - [girl] It's empty. - Oh, my God. 906 00:40:58,611 --> 00:41:00,655 This is such a metaphor for their lives. 907 00:41:00,738 --> 00:41:01,739 Didn't you put it in? 908 00:41:01,823 --> 00:41:03,283 I wasn't supposed to put it in. 909 00:41:03,366 --> 00:41:06,077 And I was. Oh, jeez. It's probably still in the van. 910 00:41:06,161 --> 00:41:08,288 Well, no point getting it now. There's nothing to put it in. 911 00:41:08,371 --> 00:41:09,264 I'll take it. 912 00:41:09,747 --> 00:41:12,083 [boy] What's a piñata without candy? 913 00:41:15,962 --> 00:41:17,339 [inaudible] 914 00:41:23,072 --> 00:41:26,159 So, aside from the fact that he don't know how to shave, 915 00:41:26,431 --> 00:41:28,391 I am kind of happy you have a man around. 916 00:41:29,434 --> 00:41:30,893 Does he give you advice about girls and stuff? 917 00:41:30,977 --> 00:41:33,646 His advice about girls was... 918 00:41:33,730 --> 00:41:34,897 "Wait until marriage." 919 00:41:34,981 --> 00:41:36,941 Good Lord, one of those. 920 00:41:38,025 --> 00:41:39,277 Now, you want some real advice? 921 00:41:39,361 --> 00:41:41,863 From my second mom or my used-to-be dad? 922 00:41:42,329 --> 00:41:45,157 From former man to current man. 923 00:41:46,158 --> 00:41:49,579 Now, when I was your age, my dad told me, 924 00:41:49,683 --> 00:41:53,117 "Find a real insecure girl and practice on her. 925 00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:55,887 That way, when you meet a girl you really like, 926 00:41:56,043 --> 00:41:57,451 you'll be good at it." 927 00:41:58,086 --> 00:42:01,445 And you really wanna be a lady in a world where men do that? 928 00:42:02,884 --> 00:42:04,427 God help me, I do. 929 00:42:05,825 --> 00:42:07,389 And you're never tight again. 930 00:42:07,472 --> 00:42:10,244 I mean, you could work it back a little, but... 931 00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:13,228 it's never the same after you've torn that shit up. 932 00:42:13,311 --> 00:42:15,522 And you'll always pee yourself a little when you sneeze, 933 00:42:15,605 --> 00:42:17,189 and you never really sleep again. 934 00:42:18,483 --> 00:42:20,067 You got anything good to say about it? 935 00:42:20,352 --> 00:42:21,979 I just want you to be prepared. 936 00:42:23,154 --> 00:42:25,573 I mean, it's not all bad. You end up with a baby. 937 00:42:26,110 --> 00:42:27,534 It just ruins your life is all. 938 00:42:29,286 --> 00:42:30,537 You sayin' I ruined your life? 939 00:42:30,620 --> 00:42:31,908 Of course. 940 00:42:32,330 --> 00:42:34,332 The day you was born was the end. 941 00:42:35,500 --> 00:42:36,543 [sighs] 942 00:42:36,626 --> 00:42:38,586 She's just so perfect. 943 00:42:39,546 --> 00:42:40,588 [baby Dayanara coos] 944 00:42:40,672 --> 00:42:44,954 How could anythin' be bad... if we made somethin' like this? 945 00:42:47,595 --> 00:42:49,847 - [baby Dayanara fussing] - [shushing] 946 00:42:52,684 --> 00:42:55,598 Anyone seen what's-her-name, the little one? 947 00:42:56,062 --> 00:42:57,450 She was getting me punch. 948 00:42:57,587 --> 00:42:59,115 I haven't seen her for a while. 949 00:43:00,525 --> 00:43:01,776 Go look for your sister. 950 00:43:02,927 --> 00:43:04,263 Lucy? 951 00:43:07,117 --> 00:43:08,160 Lucy! 952 00:43:08,428 --> 00:43:10,034 Go look for your sister. 953 00:43:12,912 --> 00:43:15,247 Now, this is nice. Mmm. 954 00:43:15,332 --> 00:43:17,083 This makes me happy. 955 00:43:18,626 --> 00:43:19,752 Happy Mother's Day, Ma. 956 00:43:19,836 --> 00:43:21,504 Happy Mother's Day. 957 00:43:21,588 --> 00:43:22,672 [speaking Russian] Your head. 958 00:43:22,755 --> 00:43:24,215 Your beautiful face. 959 00:43:24,299 --> 00:43:27,427 Yes. Well, now it's interesting. 960 00:43:27,510 --> 00:43:31,806 [speaking English] Ma... so, you ready for things to get goin' again? 961 00:43:32,557 --> 00:43:34,325 [whispers] I got a brand new LED headlamp. 962 00:43:35,184 --> 00:43:37,269 I think we're going to take a little break, darling. 963 00:43:37,997 --> 00:43:39,481 Actually, a long one. 964 00:43:40,365 --> 00:43:42,409 It's too much to think about. 965 00:43:42,817 --> 00:43:45,908 I need to think about the future, getting out, 966 00:43:46,016 --> 00:43:48,365 getting back to my life, my home... 967 00:43:48,706 --> 00:43:49,741 the market. 968 00:43:53,703 --> 00:43:55,162 I need to look forward. 969 00:43:55,246 --> 00:43:56,331 Yeah. 970 00:43:59,334 --> 00:44:01,168 Who's minding the store today? 971 00:44:01,252 --> 00:44:02,504 [scoffs] What you mean, Ma? 972 00:44:02,587 --> 00:44:04,631 [chuckles] What I mean is, it's Mother's Day. 973 00:44:04,714 --> 00:44:06,508 That's always been a big day for us. 974 00:44:06,591 --> 00:44:08,718 Platters, baskets... 975 00:44:08,801 --> 00:44:11,095 [speaking Russian] We closed for today. 976 00:44:11,178 --> 00:44:13,014 Came to see you instead. 977 00:44:13,824 --> 00:44:15,558 [speaking English] We can afford to do that? 978 00:44:15,642 --> 00:44:16,687 Yeah. 979 00:44:17,435 --> 00:44:19,937 [speaking Russian] It's fine. It's okay. 980 00:44:24,651 --> 00:44:26,152 Hey. Hey, hey, hey. What's goin' on? 981 00:44:26,235 --> 00:44:27,319 Lucy's missing. 982 00:44:27,404 --> 00:44:28,571 - Oh, Jesus. - Oh. 983 00:44:28,655 --> 00:44:30,239 No, stop. What are you doing? 984 00:44:30,322 --> 00:44:31,366 I gotta call it in. 985 00:44:31,449 --> 00:44:32,575 If you call it in, they're gonna pull the alarm. 986 00:44:32,659 --> 00:44:35,202 The day's over for everybody. She's here someplace. 987 00:44:35,286 --> 00:44:37,414 - Let me look a little more. - [sighs] 988 00:44:37,497 --> 00:44:39,957 Okay, look, 20 minutes, okay? And then I gotta call it in. 989 00:44:40,041 --> 00:44:41,125 All right. 990 00:44:42,710 --> 00:44:43,753 [Pennsatucky] In the name of Jesus, 991 00:44:43,836 --> 00:44:45,838 I ask that the souls of my unborn babies 992 00:44:45,922 --> 00:44:49,133 be considered to enter the Holy Kingdom, 993 00:44:49,216 --> 00:44:52,011 even though they never had a chance to get baptized 994 00:44:52,094 --> 00:44:53,304 'cause I was wicked 995 00:44:54,305 --> 00:44:55,682 and I got 'em sucked out... 996 00:44:57,016 --> 00:44:58,392 'cause I was weak... 997 00:44:59,477 --> 00:45:00,812 and I didn't know any better. 998 00:45:02,146 --> 00:45:03,690 And I'm sorry. 999 00:45:05,066 --> 00:45:06,358 [sniffles] 1000 00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:11,495 I'm sorry that I never got to be your mama. 1001 00:45:11,497 --> 00:45:14,236 Little Blake and Bonnie... 1002 00:45:15,493 --> 00:45:18,064 Boyd, Bethany... 1003 00:45:19,371 --> 00:45:20,372 Braeden... 1004 00:45:22,166 --> 00:45:24,001 and even you, little Buddy Jr. 1005 00:45:25,169 --> 00:45:27,379 I see we're fond of the "B" names. 1006 00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:30,216 Yeah, I always liked that letter. 1007 00:45:31,425 --> 00:45:33,845 It's like a whole little graveyard here. 1008 00:45:35,221 --> 00:45:37,139 Yeah, these are all my unborn babies. 1009 00:45:37,223 --> 00:45:38,221 Ooh. 1010 00:45:38,725 --> 00:45:42,103 ♪ She got the Mother's Day blues ♪ 1011 00:45:43,980 --> 00:45:45,732 Jesus, you look like the Angel of Death. 1012 00:45:45,815 --> 00:45:46,941 I get that a lot. 1013 00:45:48,234 --> 00:45:50,487 Yeah, I'm goin' to hell. I know it. 1014 00:45:50,570 --> 00:45:52,321 I mean, even though I was saved and everything, 1015 00:45:52,404 --> 00:45:53,823 I just... 1016 00:45:53,906 --> 00:45:56,450 They never even had a chance, you know? 1017 00:45:56,534 --> 00:45:58,953 Son, you gotta let go of that shit. 1018 00:45:59,256 --> 00:46:00,412 It's easy for you to say. 1019 00:46:00,497 --> 00:46:03,040 I'm guessing you ain't never had to abort nobody. 1020 00:46:03,124 --> 00:46:04,709 A bold assumption. 1021 00:46:06,127 --> 00:46:09,296 You ever read a book called Freakonomics? 1022 00:46:09,321 --> 00:46:10,448 No. 1023 00:46:10,708 --> 00:46:12,967 What's it about, bearded ladies and midgets? 1024 00:46:12,969 --> 00:46:16,432 Close. It's about economic theory, cause and effect. 1025 00:46:17,597 --> 00:46:18,681 Sounds boring. 1026 00:46:18,765 --> 00:46:20,704 Mmm. It's actually a pretty good read. 1027 00:46:21,324 --> 00:46:23,019 They have this chapter in it, 1028 00:46:23,102 --> 00:46:25,021 "Where Have All the Criminals Gone?" 1029 00:46:26,606 --> 00:46:27,815 Over there in that field. 1030 00:46:27,899 --> 00:46:29,316 [chuckles] 1031 00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,443 You know, in the 1990s, 1032 00:46:31,528 --> 00:46:34,155 crime fell spectacularly, 1033 00:46:34,238 --> 00:46:37,645 and this book attributes that to the passing of Roe v. Wade. 1034 00:46:37,909 --> 00:46:39,536 The Darkness of '73. 1035 00:46:39,619 --> 00:46:42,079 The exact opposite, actually. 1036 00:46:42,163 --> 00:46:44,832 I mean, the abortions that occurred after Roe v. Wade... 1037 00:46:44,916 --> 00:46:46,793 These were children that weren't wanted. 1038 00:46:46,876 --> 00:46:50,004 Children who, if their mothers had been forced to have them, 1039 00:46:50,087 --> 00:46:53,007 would've grown up poor and neglected and abused, 1040 00:46:53,090 --> 00:46:57,178 the three most important ingredients when one is making a felon. 1041 00:46:57,261 --> 00:46:58,930 But they were never born. 1042 00:46:59,013 --> 00:47:00,472 So, 20 years later, 1043 00:47:00,557 --> 00:47:03,517 when they would've been of prime crime age, 1044 00:47:03,601 --> 00:47:05,019 they weren't there. 1045 00:47:05,102 --> 00:47:07,021 And the crime rate... [scoffs] 1046 00:47:07,104 --> 00:47:08,981 Dropped dramatically. 1047 00:47:09,065 --> 00:47:11,108 - What's your point? - Well, my point is that 1048 00:47:11,192 --> 00:47:13,820 you were a meth-head, white-trash piece of shit, 1049 00:47:13,903 --> 00:47:15,237 and your children, had they been born, 1050 00:47:15,321 --> 00:47:17,699 would have been meth-head, white-trash pieces of shit. 1051 00:47:17,782 --> 00:47:19,867 So by terminating those pregnancies, 1052 00:47:19,951 --> 00:47:23,996 you spared society the scourge of your offspring. 1053 00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:27,041 I mean, when you think about it, it's... a blessing. 1054 00:47:28,084 --> 00:47:30,544 Never thought about it that way. 1055 00:47:30,628 --> 00:47:32,296 Well, maybe you should, hmm? 1056 00:47:32,379 --> 00:47:34,173 Maybe you should stop punishing yourself. 1057 00:47:34,256 --> 00:47:35,967 I mean, what does a good mother do? 1058 00:47:36,050 --> 00:47:38,469 A good mother does what's best for her children. 1059 00:47:38,552 --> 00:47:40,888 And maybe what was best for your children 1060 00:47:40,972 --> 00:47:44,183 was wipin' 'em out before they had to lead miserable fucking lives. 1061 00:47:48,688 --> 00:47:49,856 Yeah. 1062 00:47:49,939 --> 00:47:51,398 Maybe. 1063 00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:53,400 It makes me feel a little better, actually. 1064 00:47:53,484 --> 00:47:54,777 [chuckles] 1065 00:47:54,861 --> 00:47:56,988 Good, then I've done my job. 1066 00:47:57,071 --> 00:47:59,378 - "Clown cheers crowd." - [chuckling] 1067 00:48:02,827 --> 00:48:03,828 [softly] Lucy? 1068 00:48:05,204 --> 00:48:06,205 Lucy! 1069 00:48:07,248 --> 00:48:09,000 Where the fuck are you? 1070 00:48:15,715 --> 00:48:18,217 - [alarm buzzes] - [sighs] 1071 00:48:18,300 --> 00:48:20,983 Motherfuckers. They couldn't wait? 1072 00:48:26,726 --> 00:48:28,728 I want to stay with Daya. 1073 00:48:28,811 --> 00:48:30,604 You're in so much fucking trouble. 1074 00:48:30,688 --> 00:48:32,148 [guard 1] Everybody, on the ground! 1075 00:48:33,650 --> 00:48:34,776 [guard 2] Get down! Right where you are! 1076 00:48:34,859 --> 00:48:36,443 - [kid sobbing] - [guard 3] Get down on the ground! 1077 00:48:36,527 --> 00:48:37,779 [Black Cindy grunts] 1078 00:48:37,862 --> 00:48:39,488 - [guard 1] Get down! - [girl 1] Mommy, get up! 1079 00:48:40,364 --> 00:48:42,616 [guard 4] Everyone out of those porta-potties now! 1080 00:48:42,700 --> 00:48:43,701 [Nicky] Fuck. 1081 00:48:44,702 --> 00:48:45,870 We're on our way. 1082 00:48:45,953 --> 00:48:48,622 - [girl 1] Mommy, get up! - [girl 2] Do I get on the ground? 1083 00:48:48,706 --> 00:48:50,792 - Mama, what's happening? Get up. - It's okay. Mommy's fine. 1084 00:48:50,875 --> 00:48:53,127 - [girl 3] Is everything okay? - [guard 1] Stay down until we tell you! 1085 00:48:53,210 --> 00:48:54,545 [girl 4 whimpering] 1086 00:48:55,755 --> 00:48:57,048 [sobbing] 1087 00:49:04,681 --> 00:49:06,265 [Maria sighs] 1088 00:49:06,833 --> 00:49:07,834 Good day? 1089 00:49:07,836 --> 00:49:09,045 So good. 1090 00:49:10,352 --> 00:49:12,730 Yads, thank you for bringing her. 1091 00:49:13,450 --> 00:49:16,025 Okay, all right, mami. 1092 00:49:16,341 --> 00:49:18,277 I'll see you next week. 1093 00:49:19,361 --> 00:49:20,529 I don't think so. 1094 00:49:20,612 --> 00:49:22,239 "I don't think so"? What do you mean, "I don't think so"? 1095 00:49:22,323 --> 00:49:25,242 She's getting bigger. She's startin' to understand things. 1096 00:49:25,889 --> 00:49:26,762 I've been reading... 1097 00:49:27,988 --> 00:49:29,244 I don't want her seeing her mother in prison, 1098 00:49:29,246 --> 00:49:30,414 thinkin' this is normal. 1099 00:49:32,624 --> 00:49:34,168 It's best we cut this off right now. 1100 00:49:34,251 --> 00:49:35,336 What are you talkin' about? 1101 00:49:35,878 --> 00:49:38,005 Ruiz, you move it along. 1102 00:49:38,089 --> 00:49:39,548 What do you mean, "Cut this off"? 1103 00:49:39,829 --> 00:49:41,425 - You gonna walk away from me? - Sorry, Maria. 1104 00:49:41,508 --> 00:49:43,094 What, I don't have a choice in this? 1105 00:49:43,177 --> 00:49:44,887 Yadri... Wait! Wait! 1106 00:49:44,971 --> 00:49:45,972 Yadriel! 1107 00:49:46,055 --> 00:49:48,725 Yadriel! Yadriel! Coño! 1108 00:49:48,808 --> 00:49:49,976 Yadriel! [gasping] 1109 00:49:50,059 --> 00:49:52,186 Oh, my... Fuck! 1110 00:49:52,269 --> 00:49:53,562 [gasps] 1111 00:50:03,364 --> 00:50:05,032 [folk-pop music playing] 1112 00:50:44,394 --> 00:50:47,733 _ 1113 00:50:55,666 --> 00:50:58,752 [music continues playing] 1114 00:50:58,753 --> 00:51:00,753 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com