1 00:01:04,293 --> 00:01:09,496 - Sync and corrections by awaqeded - - Resync by GoldenBeard - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:01:11,073 --> 00:01:12,614 You need a lot of this. 3 00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:15,367 The wrong place for that, my friend. 4 00:01:29,466 --> 00:01:31,918 Do you see my towel? 5 00:01:39,184 --> 00:01:41,928 - I'm starving. - Yeah, me, too. 6 00:01:44,606 --> 00:01:46,141 Hey, Norma. 7 00:01:48,235 --> 00:01:49,977 Morning, Norma. 8 00:01:50,988 --> 00:01:53,565 Hey, Norma, can I get my morning blessing? 9 00:01:54,741 --> 00:01:56,943 You know, the little arm squeeze thing you do? 10 00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:02,289 Yup, hits the spot. 11 00:02:06,253 --> 00:02:07,537 Hey. 12 00:02:11,133 --> 00:02:13,467 Yo, Norma, I know you got the magic. 13 00:02:13,468 --> 00:02:16,595 Banfield says she brushed against you in the cafeteria, 14 00:02:16,596 --> 00:02:20,391 and when you touched her wart, it fell off the next day! 15 00:02:22,144 --> 00:02:24,520 So, I got this letter I'm sending to my guy, Rodney, 16 00:02:24,521 --> 00:02:27,139 and I'm a need you to hocus pocus it. 17 00:02:27,857 --> 00:02:30,692 You know, I hear he got this new girlfriend, Leslie. 18 00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:33,654 Oh, and I don't need you to hex her or nothing like that, 19 00:02:33,655 --> 00:02:36,073 'cause, you know, that would be crazy. 20 00:02:36,074 --> 00:02:37,574 Or would it? 21 00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:41,738 I don't know. You know, It would be great, actually, if you could hex Leslie. 22 00:02:49,129 --> 00:02:50,330 That's it? 23 00:02:57,304 --> 00:03:00,632 Oh, I felt that. Seriously! 24 00:03:01,516 --> 00:03:04,476 Goosies on my arms! Look at my arm hair! 25 00:03:04,477 --> 00:03:07,604 Oh, that is some spooky shit! Oh, thank you. 26 00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:11,476 Thank you so much! Spooky shit. 27 00:03:14,654 --> 00:03:17,982 Are you a good witch or a bad witch? 28 00:03:22,412 --> 00:03:24,163 Two types of sexual harassment 29 00:03:24,164 --> 00:03:25,914 are generally recognized. 30 00:03:25,915 --> 00:03:29,335 Quid Pro Quo and Hostile Work Environment. 31 00:03:29,336 --> 00:03:32,088 Quid Pro Quo means, "Something for something." 32 00:03:32,089 --> 00:03:35,174 For instance, a manager promises to give you a promotion 33 00:03:35,175 --> 00:03:37,218 in exchange for some sexual favor. 34 00:03:37,219 --> 00:03:38,719 Hostile Work Environment. 35 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,054 - This type... - Question? 36 00:03:40,055 --> 00:03:41,805 - Hostile environment? - Yes. 37 00:03:41,806 --> 00:03:42,889 It's a prison. 38 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:46,977 Uh, we are referring to a co-worker's unwanted flirting, 39 00:03:46,978 --> 00:03:49,063 sexually suggestive looks, 40 00:03:49,064 --> 00:03:53,234 language, shoulder massages, back scratching. 41 00:03:53,235 --> 00:03:58,447 Uh, any behavior that a reasonable person would deem inappropriate. 42 00:03:58,448 --> 00:04:01,492 Using, um, offensive or degrading names, 43 00:04:01,493 --> 00:04:04,828 such as "honey, sweetie, baby..." 44 00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:06,205 Daddy-mack. 45 00:04:06,206 --> 00:04:08,283 - Cuddly-wuddly. - Sugar tits. 46 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,876 Come on! How old are you? 47 00:04:10,877 --> 00:04:13,670 - Sorry, sir. - No, really, how old are you? 48 00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:16,590 - Uh, 21, sir. - Wow. 49 00:04:16,591 --> 00:04:19,301 Yeah, my birthday was actually last Tuesday. 50 00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:22,263 - I had my first Amaretto sour. - Good for you. 51 00:04:22,264 --> 00:04:24,223 Now, lose the junior high school shenanigans 52 00:04:24,224 --> 00:04:25,641 and act like a fucking person. 53 00:04:25,642 --> 00:04:26,767 Yes, sir. 54 00:04:26,768 --> 00:04:29,686 And the rest of you, set an example for the new COs 55 00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:32,890 and show some respect to George over here. 56 00:04:33,566 --> 00:04:36,652 - Sexual harassment... - That's actually Tim from HR. 57 00:04:36,653 --> 00:04:38,404 But the majority of sexual harassment... 58 00:04:38,405 --> 00:04:40,739 - Who's George? - George is PR. 59 00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:44,410 - Is PR the same as marketing? - No, no, Debra's marketing. 60 00:04:44,411 --> 00:04:48,830 Welcome to the corporate maze. Sorry for the rigmarole. 61 00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:52,126 It'd be nice if it also covered inmate relations, 62 00:04:52,127 --> 00:04:53,960 being this is a female prison. 63 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,086 Completely agree. 64 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:59,466 But, uh, hey, anything to get folks thinking about appropriate behavior. 65 00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,843 We've had some incidents in the past. 66 00:05:01,844 --> 00:05:05,264 Oh, you wouldn't believe some of the cases we've had. Just... 67 00:05:05,265 --> 00:05:09,518 Employees sexting and porn on their work computers, 68 00:05:09,519 --> 00:05:12,438 masturbating in the office. Just disgusting. 69 00:05:12,439 --> 00:05:15,057 - Disgusting. - Yeah, disgusting. 70 00:05:17,319 --> 00:05:20,487 Don't you think the people buying these panties 71 00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:22,739 will feel weird if they knew a bunch of felons made them? 72 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:24,825 Mmm-mmm. They'd probably think that shit was hot. 73 00:05:24,826 --> 00:05:27,786 Yeah, they should put that shit on the tag, "Made in Federal." 74 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,248 Dudes would be into polyester grannies 75 00:05:31,249 --> 00:05:34,710 if they knew they came from a bunch of bisnotches behind bars. 76 00:05:34,711 --> 00:05:37,754 You know, when I was in Chicago, this guy asked me for my dirty underwear. 77 00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:39,673 - To wear? - To sniff. 78 00:05:39,674 --> 00:05:42,092 Oh. Yeah, that's a thing. Panty sniffers. 79 00:05:42,093 --> 00:05:43,677 In Tokyo, they have vending machines. 80 00:05:43,678 --> 00:05:47,306 You can buy dirty schoolgirl panties for, like, I don't know, 10,000 yen. 81 00:05:47,307 --> 00:05:49,725 - What that is in real money? - It's like 80 bucks. 82 00:05:49,726 --> 00:05:51,093 Huh! 83 00:05:51,853 --> 00:05:54,563 One of my old boyfriends was obsessed with noses. 84 00:05:54,564 --> 00:05:56,565 Always trying to suck on mine. 85 00:05:56,566 --> 00:05:59,318 It left a very confusing hickey. 86 00:05:59,319 --> 00:06:00,694 I can't believe that's a thing. 87 00:06:00,695 --> 00:06:02,571 Man, everything is a thing! 88 00:06:02,572 --> 00:06:05,073 Like them people who like to fuck in animal costumes. 89 00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:06,157 Furries. 90 00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:08,327 Or those guys who are really into My Little Pony. 91 00:06:08,328 --> 00:06:11,113 - Bronies. - Look at you, Google. 92 00:06:11,706 --> 00:06:13,624 What are you, some kind of fetish fangirl? 93 00:06:13,625 --> 00:06:16,084 See, that's the thing with the Internet. 94 00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:17,919 Nobody's a freak no more. 95 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:22,215 See, it used to be all these weirdoes sitting alone in their houses, 96 00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:25,093 jerking it to bugs or falling in love with their toasters, 97 00:06:25,094 --> 00:06:26,887 feeling all creepy and sad. 98 00:06:26,888 --> 00:06:29,598 Now, all they got to do is log on 99 00:06:29,599 --> 00:06:31,975 and find the same-minded toaster-loving peeps 100 00:06:31,976 --> 00:06:35,854 and, like, bam, suddenly shit be perfectly normal! 101 00:06:35,855 --> 00:06:40,276 Shawty, you could be into cannibalism or like being tickled. It don't matter. 102 00:06:40,277 --> 00:06:43,111 Somebody out there gonna like what you like. 103 00:06:44,531 --> 00:06:47,198 Damn! I sewed the leg shut again. 104 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,693 Shit! 105 00:06:49,411 --> 00:06:50,661 How do you even do that? 106 00:06:50,662 --> 00:06:52,371 Man, whatever. 107 00:06:52,372 --> 00:06:55,416 This 'bout to be a headband. Yeah. 108 00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:57,118 Check it, check it. 109 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,422 Inmate! That's official Whispers merchandise. 110 00:07:01,423 --> 00:07:02,589 If you make any more mistakes, 111 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:04,633 we're gonna take the full retail price out of your pay. 112 00:07:04,634 --> 00:07:08,219 Ooh, what is that? Like 100 hours of work for 25 cents of fabric? 113 00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:10,013 Zip it, Hayes, or that's a shot. 114 00:07:10,014 --> 00:07:11,432 This is not coffee hour, 115 00:07:11,433 --> 00:07:14,802 and there are plenty of bodies in here who'd be happy to fill those seats! 116 00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:31,159 What am I supposed to do with you? 117 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,828 You're the boss. You tell me. 118 00:07:32,829 --> 00:07:34,621 I don't know how you talked your way back in here. 119 00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:37,666 You're like a Somali pirate trying to get their ladder hooked. 120 00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:41,545 But I got the whole fucking Coast Guard watching you. 121 00:07:41,546 --> 00:07:44,381 You see these girls? They're mine! 122 00:07:44,382 --> 00:07:45,632 Don't you try nothing. 123 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,384 The evil eye goes both ways. 124 00:07:47,385 --> 00:07:49,386 I'm only happy to be back. 125 00:07:49,387 --> 00:07:51,680 You gonna be happy sweeping the floor, washing dishes? 126 00:07:51,681 --> 00:07:53,724 Because there's no way I'm gonna let you handle a knife. 127 00:07:53,725 --> 00:07:55,384 Probably wise. 128 00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:58,971 - Go help Norma. - That peeler is pretty sharp, too. 129 00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:04,943 And no funny business, got it? I am watching my back, Red. 130 00:08:04,944 --> 00:08:06,688 Yes, boss. 131 00:08:12,702 --> 00:08:14,244 All right, everybody, come on, 132 00:08:14,245 --> 00:08:15,996 I gotta get this shit prepped before 10:00! 133 00:08:15,997 --> 00:08:18,164 10:00? First lunch block isn't till 11:00. 134 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,249 Well, Benny's coming. 135 00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:21,209 I'm not gonna make my kid drive up here for two hours 136 00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,544 to sit with him for five minutes. 137 00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:23,920 He should come a different time. 138 00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:25,339 Hitchhikers can't be choosers. 139 00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:27,917 Sophia's wife can't drive him later, and she's my ride. 140 00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:38,685 You know if you boil them first, you could slide the skin off with your hands. 141 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:39,887 I taught you that. 142 00:08:41,814 --> 00:08:43,683 Amateurs. 143 00:08:47,028 --> 00:08:49,780 Twelve years we've been in this kitchen together. 144 00:08:49,781 --> 00:08:51,190 We're a good team, hmm? 145 00:08:54,994 --> 00:08:56,953 Thank you, Norma. 146 00:09:25,692 --> 00:09:27,568 Well, I want everything to be better. 147 00:09:27,569 --> 00:09:28,777 I want everything to be happier. 148 00:09:28,778 --> 00:09:30,821 And I keep doing the same thing over and over again, 149 00:09:30,822 --> 00:09:32,656 which, to me, is the definition of insanity. 150 00:09:32,657 --> 00:09:34,316 Right? 151 00:09:35,493 --> 00:09:38,320 Welcome, sister. Have a seat. 152 00:09:38,913 --> 00:09:40,489 Join us. 153 00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:44,292 As I was saying, 154 00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:47,253 you're all here because you're interested in transformation. 155 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:50,966 And you're asking yourself, "Do I feel happy?" 156 00:09:50,967 --> 00:09:52,133 Right on. 157 00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,760 "Do I feel good enough? 158 00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:55,471 Do I feel out of control?" 159 00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:58,557 Lonely? 160 00:09:58,558 --> 00:10:02,603 Afraid? Why do I hate myself? 161 00:10:02,604 --> 00:10:03,770 Choice words. 162 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:07,232 Well, this self that you speak of... 163 00:10:07,233 --> 00:10:08,900 it's not a fixed object. 164 00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:12,112 - It's a story that we're telling, right? - Right on. 165 00:10:12,113 --> 00:10:16,032 And if you wanna change the self, you gotta change the story. 166 00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:18,785 Because the desire to transform, 167 00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:22,748 the thing that brought you here today, means you've already begun to change. 168 00:10:22,749 --> 00:10:24,249 - Right? - Yeah. 169 00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:28,086 I'm not here to save you, children. I'm just a bearded guy in white pants. 170 00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:34,050 They call me Guru Mack because I'm a teacher. 171 00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:37,629 And I can teach you how to change your story. 172 00:10:39,641 --> 00:10:43,135 Sister Sad Eyes, what brings you to us today? 173 00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:47,765 Don't be shy, you're among friends. Everybody here is a searcher. 174 00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:52,770 What is the story that you are telling? 175 00:10:54,989 --> 00:10:56,315 Mmm... 176 00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:00,945 My... 177 00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:06,408 Okay, okay, okay, I got it. 178 00:11:10,922 --> 00:11:12,539 I feel your spirit. 179 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:16,502 You don't ever have to speak with me. 180 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,090 I hear you. 181 00:11:28,314 --> 00:11:29,807 Stay with us. 182 00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:32,894 I'm glad you're here. 183 00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,081 I can't let you perform this in class. 184 00:11:46,082 --> 00:11:49,292 Oh, it's not a solo piece. I'm gonna cast the other parts. 185 00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:51,127 Of course, I play Edwina. 186 00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:55,131 I know she has freckles and a more... ample bosom than I, 187 00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:58,384 but I think we can use our imaginations. 188 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,428 How do I put this constructively? 189 00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:04,600 Um, this piece of writing is... obscene. It's pornographic. 190 00:12:04,601 --> 00:12:08,054 No, it's erotically inclined. 191 00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,473 "His purple love muscle? 192 00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:15,151 Her three holes opened, ready to be explored by his..." 193 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:16,486 "Swollen pangolin." 194 00:12:16,487 --> 00:12:17,946 I don't even know what a pangolin is. 195 00:12:17,947 --> 00:12:21,400 It's a mammal with scales. And in this context, it's... 196 00:12:22,869 --> 00:12:26,488 Okay, yeah, I got it. This was not the assignment. 197 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,040 You asked us to use our imagination. 198 00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:32,669 I asked you to re-imagine a primary life experience, 199 00:12:32,670 --> 00:12:35,255 not write a kinky sex fantasy set in space. 200 00:12:35,256 --> 00:12:39,384 It's not just sex, it's love. 201 00:12:39,385 --> 00:12:42,553 It's two people connecting... 202 00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:45,641 with four other people, and aliens. 203 00:12:45,642 --> 00:12:47,684 - Suzanne, no. - But it's just... 204 00:12:47,685 --> 00:12:50,429 It's inappropriate and I can't support it. 205 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,140 That's final. 206 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,279 Whoa, whoa, what's going on? 207 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:02,198 Stupid! I'm stupid. 208 00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:05,368 She said it's dirty and it's wrong, and she hated it! 209 00:13:05,369 --> 00:13:07,453 Hated what? 210 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:10,540 Your story? And you've been working so hard, too. 211 00:13:10,541 --> 00:13:12,326 Yeah. 212 00:13:13,544 --> 00:13:17,206 Come on, now. 'Cause one person doesn't like it? 213 00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:24,012 You know, Stephen King got rejected a bazillion times 214 00:13:24,013 --> 00:13:25,889 before anybody looked at his shit! 215 00:13:25,890 --> 00:13:27,598 Fucking J.K. Rowling! 216 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:30,476 Some punk-ass publisher read Harry fucking Potter 217 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,596 and was like... "Nope." 218 00:13:33,314 --> 00:13:36,692 Now, I haven't read this yet, 219 00:13:36,693 --> 00:13:42,113 but knowing that wacky brain of yours, I'm sure it's got to be mad interesting. 220 00:13:42,114 --> 00:13:44,441 She said it was vulgar. 221 00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:51,289 Okay, you really did, um... go there. 222 00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:55,961 Look, Berdie is just trying to protect her stupid-ass class. 223 00:13:55,962 --> 00:13:58,129 Chang got to do her scene, 224 00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:01,591 and it's all heads chopping off and organs coming out. 225 00:14:01,592 --> 00:14:03,760 That's because this is America. 226 00:14:03,761 --> 00:14:08,014 Violence is all good and fine, but sex? Lord, no! 227 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:09,557 Okay? 228 00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:14,221 Don't let her stop you, Suzanne. You got to keep writing. 229 00:14:15,815 --> 00:14:18,358 - So, there's these different categories. - Mmm-hmm. 230 00:14:18,359 --> 00:14:21,402 Who you're gonna marry, what car you're gonna drive, 231 00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:23,238 and how many kids you're gonna have. 232 00:14:23,239 --> 00:14:25,949 Are you telling me you've never played MASH before? 233 00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:27,200 Not since I was 12. 234 00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:30,696 I remember that. MASH. Tells your future, right? 235 00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:33,790 Mansion, Apartment... 236 00:14:33,791 --> 00:14:36,584 - Shack, House. Yes! - Yeah. 237 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,461 You draw your spiral... 238 00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:40,171 - Mmm-hmm. - ...and then you count your lines, 239 00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:42,007 and you get your magic number. 240 00:14:42,008 --> 00:14:44,134 And there it is, your whole life! 241 00:14:44,135 --> 00:14:46,302 Ah. Yeah. 242 00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:48,297 I always ended up living in the shack. 243 00:14:51,017 --> 00:14:53,769 Chapman probably lived in a mansion. 244 00:14:53,770 --> 00:14:56,437 - In the game or in real life? - In real life. 245 00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:58,564 Oh, no. It was hardly a mansion. 246 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,267 How many bathrooms? 247 00:15:01,152 --> 00:15:07,524 Um, four? Or five. There was a half-bath off the playroom. 248 00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,319 The playroom? 249 00:15:12,038 --> 00:15:14,656 It was a good-sized house. 250 00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:16,908 Mansion. 251 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,954 - Did you have a maid? - No! 252 00:15:21,172 --> 00:15:22,539 Housekeeper. 253 00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:26,551 I was very lonely as a child. 254 00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:37,221 Do you hear yourself sometimes? Like, when you speak? 255 00:15:38,773 --> 00:15:40,148 Mmm! 256 00:15:40,149 --> 00:15:44,027 Fuck, yeah! Hey, y'all, tell me these kosher meals ain't delicious! 257 00:15:44,028 --> 00:15:48,198 - This broccoli still got crunch. - Yo, y'all gotta keep your voices down. 258 00:15:48,199 --> 00:15:51,159 Y'all get the noodles? Yo, mine had noodles! 259 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,578 Mmm-mmm-mmm! 260 00:15:53,579 --> 00:15:57,082 - Would y'all shut the hell up? - Yo, why you shushing me? 261 00:15:57,083 --> 00:16:00,043 You keep running your mouth, everyone's gonna start asking! 262 00:16:00,044 --> 00:16:01,169 So? 263 00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:03,671 Then they're gonna find out none of us are actually Jewish, 264 00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:05,173 and none of us gonna get 'em! 265 00:16:05,174 --> 00:16:07,175 - How do they know I ain't Jewish? - Shh. 266 00:16:07,176 --> 00:16:10,011 Man, how come Jews only get to eat this deliciousness? 267 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:11,179 Shh! 268 00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:12,464 Now stop shushing me! 269 00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:17,143 That's a eye shush. And a eye shush just as bad as a regular shush! 270 00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:21,314 One, two, three, four, five. Yes! 271 00:16:21,315 --> 00:16:22,482 So, you're gonna marry Gustav. 272 00:16:22,483 --> 00:16:25,235 And you're gonna be living in an apartment in Maui. 273 00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:30,156 With 13 kids! 274 00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:32,617 And you're gonna be driving... you know, a Toyota Corolla. 275 00:16:32,618 --> 00:16:33,819 Great. 276 00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:37,122 Gustav. Is that the Romanian? 277 00:16:37,123 --> 00:16:39,415 - Yes, he's... He's very nice. - Mmm-hmm. 278 00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:43,753 He's not the world's greatest speller, but English is not his first language. 279 00:16:43,754 --> 00:16:46,631 Thirteen kids in an apartment, that is gonna be tight. 280 00:16:46,632 --> 00:16:51,212 Well, you're gonna be living in Maui, spending most of your time outside. 281 00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:55,515 I thought I was gonna marry Ralph, but he's so into firearms. 282 00:16:55,516 --> 00:16:58,434 I guess that could be dangerous with all the little ones around. 283 00:16:58,435 --> 00:16:59,644 - Right? - Mmm. 284 00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:00,937 Ralph's the fatty? 285 00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:05,316 No, no. The fatty is into Japanese cartoons. 286 00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:07,610 He has these dreamy eyes. 287 00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:09,730 You find the good in everyone. 288 00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:12,866 - It's a lovely quality. - Lovely? 289 00:17:12,867 --> 00:17:15,201 She's scamming creeps for commissary money. 290 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:17,495 I mean, that is what you're doing, isn't it? 291 00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:22,625 They are lonely. They just need somebody to listen to them. 292 00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:24,710 And it's not like I got something better to do. 293 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,337 I think that women's prison 294 00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:29,424 feeds into the whole '70s exploitation fantasy for men. 295 00:17:29,425 --> 00:17:32,510 It's like we're all in Chained Heat or Cellblock Sisters 296 00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:35,263 and all we do is have lesbian sex and strip searches 297 00:17:35,264 --> 00:17:37,924 and naked cat fights in the shower. 298 00:17:43,147 --> 00:17:44,605 We also do other things. 299 00:17:46,442 --> 00:17:47,984 Who cares if it's a fantasy? 300 00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:51,446 They get what they want, I get to make a buck. 301 00:17:51,447 --> 00:17:53,482 Everybody wins! 302 00:18:09,215 --> 00:18:10,798 What are those? 303 00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:14,760 They were gonna be a gift for you, but I have an idea. 304 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:18,098 Bear with me because it's, uh... it sounds kind of crazy. 305 00:18:18,099 --> 00:18:19,807 Shoot. 306 00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:22,518 You may think that I stole these from Whispers, 307 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:26,897 but... technically... I didn't, 308 00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:29,317 because I made them from material they were just gonna throw away. 309 00:18:29,318 --> 00:18:34,356 So, I re-purposed trash and there's... there's no official crime happening here. 310 00:18:34,865 --> 00:18:36,692 You are such a good girl. 311 00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:42,163 These are the second pair I've made with no one noticing. 312 00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:46,751 If I could get some people helping me, I could have a pretty healthy supply. 313 00:18:46,752 --> 00:18:48,378 And rumor has it, 314 00:18:48,379 --> 00:18:51,506 there are guys out there that like sniffing dirty underwear. 315 00:18:51,507 --> 00:18:53,591 And I think that they would be extra interested 316 00:18:53,592 --> 00:18:56,719 if they came from lady felons. 317 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:01,766 We are sitting on... a gold mine! 318 00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:04,685 We have captive women and we have underwear! 319 00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:08,898 All we need to do is recruit a bunch of girls with super stinky tutus 320 00:19:08,899 --> 00:19:10,566 and then figure out a way to get the used goods 321 00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:13,479 out there to the... freaks who want 'em. 322 00:19:16,157 --> 00:19:20,277 No! It sounds nuts, doesn't it? 323 00:19:21,412 --> 00:19:24,656 - It made sense in my head. - Are you kidding? 324 00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:26,367 What? 325 00:19:27,293 --> 00:19:28,959 This is fucking brilliant. 326 00:19:32,423 --> 00:19:35,216 This is your duty belt. It contains a walkie... 327 00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:37,343 - He said "duty." - ...cuffs, expandable baton, 328 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:40,263 sterile gloves, and pepper spray. 329 00:19:40,264 --> 00:19:41,431 Nice! 330 00:19:41,432 --> 00:19:44,434 These are not toys. They are a last resort. 331 00:19:44,435 --> 00:19:48,271 If an inmate is not responding to a reasonable command 332 00:19:48,272 --> 00:19:49,564 and needs to be subdued, 333 00:19:49,565 --> 00:19:53,184 I will demonstrate the proper subjugation technique. 334 00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,404 CO Rikerson, if you please. 335 00:19:56,405 --> 00:20:01,992 The goal is to use your opponent's own weight and inertia against her. 336 00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:06,206 Now, let us imagine this is a diminutive lady inmate 337 00:20:06,207 --> 00:20:09,375 and not Dont'a Hightower over here. 338 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:12,128 You don't want to hurt me, buddy, huh? 339 00:20:12,129 --> 00:20:15,506 I will use a combination joint-locking technique 340 00:20:15,507 --> 00:20:17,918 to take my opponent to the ground. 341 00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:21,679 The inmate is angry. 342 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,800 Maybe she goes to grab me, or push me. Please. 343 00:20:26,477 --> 00:20:29,770 Trap her hand against my chest with my right hand. 344 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,689 Turn the wrist... 345 00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:35,526 ...apply an arm bar with my left hand just above the elbow. 346 00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:37,320 And as I pivot, 347 00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:40,607 - easily taking my attacker to the ground. - Ow, ow, ow. 348 00:20:43,494 --> 00:20:46,287 God, that hurt. That really hurt! 349 00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:47,955 - Sorry. - Shit, man! 350 00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:50,500 I need my inhaler. Where's my inhaler? 351 00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:52,168 Okay, as you can see, 352 00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:55,838 I have, uh, effectively neutralized the prisoner. 353 00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:59,300 Great, great. Well done, Jackie Chan. Thank you for that. 354 00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:03,888 You guys should read through those manuals and keep practicing this karate business. 355 00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:06,266 It seems very effective. 356 00:21:06,267 --> 00:21:07,350 We're not done. 357 00:21:07,351 --> 00:21:09,435 Can I speak with you for a minute? 358 00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:13,106 Okay. Practice with your partners. 359 00:21:13,107 --> 00:21:16,109 CO Donaldson, take over. 360 00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:17,902 All right, COs, line up with your inmates. 361 00:21:17,903 --> 00:21:19,112 - Let's get started. - Okay. 362 00:21:19,113 --> 00:21:20,696 Half speed, no takedowns. 363 00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:23,283 But when you feel comfortable, take it to the ground. 364 00:21:23,284 --> 00:21:27,995 All right... "Sicko-witch." Give me your best shot. 365 00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:32,033 - It's Sikowitz. Like "psycho." - Well, we'll see about that. 366 00:21:33,585 --> 00:21:37,630 - I'm not afraid of you, Donuts. - Stop calling me that. 367 00:21:37,631 --> 00:21:39,382 I know you bribed your way in here. What'd it take? 368 00:21:39,383 --> 00:21:41,183 Half a dozen jellies and a cruller, huh? 369 00:21:43,179 --> 00:21:46,055 Hey, Joe, we're not paying these guys do PE. 370 00:21:46,056 --> 00:21:47,848 They need 40 hours of training. 371 00:21:47,849 --> 00:21:50,560 We need to be able to assess their physical efficiency, 372 00:21:50,561 --> 00:21:52,312 teach them how to convey an order. 373 00:21:52,313 --> 00:21:55,523 That sounds like... on-the-job stuff to me. 374 00:21:55,524 --> 00:21:58,901 I can't send a bunch of untrained COs out there. 375 00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:00,153 You're not. 376 00:22:00,154 --> 00:22:02,780 You're partnering them with experienced guards 377 00:22:02,781 --> 00:22:04,691 and calling it an apprenticeship. 378 00:22:05,659 --> 00:22:07,702 There is an art to this. 379 00:22:07,703 --> 00:22:10,120 Proper levels of assertion, 380 00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:14,709 how to communicate verbally and non-verbally. 381 00:22:14,710 --> 00:22:17,203 That's why we have the manual. 382 00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,998 They are not gonna read that. 383 00:22:21,425 --> 00:22:22,717 Yes, really. 384 00:22:22,718 --> 00:22:26,721 See what I did there? Communicated with you non-verbally. 385 00:22:26,722 --> 00:22:30,175 No training here. Let's get 'em working. 386 00:22:32,478 --> 00:22:34,387 Motherfucker! 387 00:22:37,274 --> 00:22:40,651 Ay, tonta, your mother never taught you how to reheat dinner rolls? 388 00:22:40,652 --> 00:22:44,822 My mother taught me to pluck my eyebrows and to duct-tape my tits together. 389 00:22:44,823 --> 00:22:47,533 Mira, I told you that you needed to 390 00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:49,660 clean these steamers between every meal. 391 00:22:49,661 --> 00:22:51,871 - That's some nasty shit. - You know what's nasty? 392 00:22:51,872 --> 00:22:53,539 The cabbage that's been in there for two days. 393 00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:56,292 You are a pain in my ass, the both of you. 394 00:22:56,293 --> 00:22:59,169 - If you fill them with warm, soapy... - No, no, no chiming in. 395 00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:01,297 What, you think I don't know how to run my kitchen? 396 00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:04,467 All right, Maria, you're in charge while I take my visitation. 397 00:23:04,468 --> 00:23:05,801 You gonna leave me here with these clowns? 398 00:23:05,802 --> 00:23:08,379 Try not to fuck it all up, huh? 399 00:23:12,684 --> 00:23:13,768 Aw. 400 00:23:13,769 --> 00:23:16,312 It's good to see you back in here, Gina. 401 00:23:16,313 --> 00:23:18,356 Hey, Red, we've come to see Norma, actually. 402 00:23:18,357 --> 00:23:21,776 A bunch of us were wondering if you would meet with us in a group. 403 00:23:21,777 --> 00:23:23,903 My Wiccan circle is getting weird. 404 00:23:23,904 --> 00:23:26,697 Protchnick keeps rubbing the energy ball on her cooter, 405 00:23:26,698 --> 00:23:29,158 and who wants to touch it after that? You know, so... 406 00:23:29,159 --> 00:23:32,578 I think we would all benefit from some energetic time with you. 407 00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:34,246 What are you babbling about? 408 00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:37,458 Norma's a healer. She has powers. 409 00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:38,709 You believe this? 410 00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:42,004 She's performing miracles, Red. Everyone's talking about it. 411 00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:45,425 We booked some time in the chapel, and we were hoping to meet tomorrow. 412 00:23:45,426 --> 00:23:48,553 Chapel? What is she, your priest? 413 00:23:48,554 --> 00:23:52,307 The poor woman doesn't speak, so she can't tell you to fuck off, but I can. 414 00:23:52,308 --> 00:23:55,184 She doesn't want to listen to all your snively little problems. 415 00:23:55,185 --> 00:23:56,394 Do you, Norma? 416 00:23:56,395 --> 00:23:59,314 Be careful. She can hex you! 417 00:23:59,315 --> 00:24:02,983 You think she's some kind of magical mute? 418 00:24:02,984 --> 00:24:05,194 There's no way she's comfortable with this. 419 00:24:05,195 --> 00:24:08,238 Are you, Norma? Go, get out of here. 420 00:24:08,239 --> 00:24:09,407 Gina, you know better. 421 00:24:09,408 --> 00:24:12,152 - Stop listening to this basket case. Shoo! - We're gonna talk. 422 00:24:13,161 --> 00:24:16,831 Are they hounding you all the time? 423 00:24:16,832 --> 00:24:19,750 These women are desperate for anything to believe in. 424 00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:23,463 Looking to you to guide them when you can't even guide yourself. 425 00:24:23,464 --> 00:24:26,757 Norma, put the drink in first and then the sandwich. 426 00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:28,418 You're squishing all of them! 427 00:24:29,177 --> 00:24:32,589 There you go. Better. 428 00:24:51,533 --> 00:24:54,118 Guru Mack is our teacher. 429 00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,579 Our teacher is our father. 430 00:24:56,580 --> 00:24:58,456 Our father is our God. 431 00:24:58,457 --> 00:25:00,541 Our God is our light, 432 00:25:00,542 --> 00:25:04,545 the sky, the sun, the heart. 433 00:25:04,546 --> 00:25:08,383 My children, today we open our hearts 434 00:25:08,384 --> 00:25:11,336 to this woman, Norma Moon... 435 00:25:12,095 --> 00:25:17,593 as I join her in marriage, with body, with speech and with mind. 436 00:25:18,894 --> 00:25:22,480 Norma Moon, on this blessed day, 437 00:25:22,481 --> 00:25:28,019 I take you as my wife, my partner, and my light. 438 00:25:29,070 --> 00:25:34,610 I join my heart to your heart, and my soul to your soul, 439 00:25:35,201 --> 00:25:37,578 and my flesh to your flesh. 440 00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:41,081 And I vow to honor you in this life 441 00:25:41,082 --> 00:25:44,001 and on many astral planes to come. 442 00:25:44,002 --> 00:25:45,328 I am yours. 443 00:26:04,314 --> 00:26:08,693 Kirsa Rain, on this blessed day, I take you as my wife, 444 00:26:08,694 --> 00:26:11,730 my partner and my light. 445 00:26:12,531 --> 00:26:18,236 And I join my heart to your heart, my soul to your soul... 446 00:26:19,370 --> 00:26:21,614 and my flesh to your flesh. 447 00:26:35,345 --> 00:26:38,514 Silver Tree, on this blessed day, 448 00:26:38,515 --> 00:26:40,600 - I take you as my wife... - This is getting weird. 449 00:26:40,601 --> 00:26:43,227 I never should have signed over the pink slip to my Volvo. 450 00:26:43,228 --> 00:26:46,939 And I join my heart to your heart, my soul to your soul, 451 00:26:46,940 --> 00:26:49,893 and my flesh to your flesh. 452 00:27:02,413 --> 00:27:03,664 Keep an eye out for contact. 453 00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:07,459 Obviously, if they're playing basketball, gonna be some hands and shoulders. 454 00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:10,170 But any intimacy, call it off. 455 00:27:10,171 --> 00:27:12,507 - Like, "No touching"? - Right. 456 00:27:12,508 --> 00:27:14,634 And don't ever let them suck you into an argument. 457 00:27:14,635 --> 00:27:15,801 Don't get emotional. 458 00:27:15,802 --> 00:27:20,264 One of my training sergeants told me, "If it feels good, don't say it." 459 00:27:20,265 --> 00:27:22,057 De-escalate the situation. 460 00:27:22,058 --> 00:27:23,433 - De-escalate. Got it. - Right. 461 00:27:23,434 --> 00:27:24,935 - Okay? - Yeah. 462 00:27:24,936 --> 00:27:26,979 All right. Keep an eye on this Uno game over here, 463 00:27:26,980 --> 00:27:28,849 make sure they're not gambling. 464 00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:36,113 So, they'll have six, uh, extra pair. Whoa. 465 00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:38,108 Hey, Lolly! 466 00:27:40,536 --> 00:27:41,702 I know you? 467 00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:44,530 Yeah. Chicago? 468 00:27:46,457 --> 00:27:47,658 Um... 469 00:27:48,209 --> 00:27:49,494 Sorry. 470 00:27:50,295 --> 00:27:52,004 Wow. 471 00:27:52,005 --> 00:27:54,006 That is weird. 472 00:27:54,007 --> 00:27:59,053 You know, she didn't have glasses before, so, maybe she was blind in Chicago? 473 00:27:59,054 --> 00:28:03,683 Oh, that thing happened in the yard. I wonder if she's still mad at me. 474 00:28:03,684 --> 00:28:07,562 Wait, she was with us in Chicago? What is she doing here? 475 00:28:07,563 --> 00:28:10,974 Well, anyway. Okay, how many girls do we need? 476 00:28:12,067 --> 00:28:14,109 Only a few to start. We don't know if we have any customers. 477 00:28:14,110 --> 00:28:16,862 And how many days do you think it's gonna take to get 'em, uh... 478 00:28:16,863 --> 00:28:18,231 pungent? 479 00:28:19,199 --> 00:28:20,449 - Three. - Okay. 480 00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:24,369 Ah, that seems like a lot. If it's you? I don't know, two? 481 00:28:24,370 --> 00:28:26,997 - What, why? - You have a strong brew. 482 00:28:26,998 --> 00:28:28,123 Oh. 483 00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:29,499 That's not a bad thing. 484 00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:31,877 Some people just have more... presence than others. 485 00:28:31,878 --> 00:28:33,754 Are you gonna be wearing them? 486 00:28:33,755 --> 00:28:35,590 - Me? No! - Okay. 487 00:28:35,591 --> 00:28:39,176 Can't deal with the thought of dudes inhaling my dried excretions. 488 00:28:39,177 --> 00:28:40,928 No, I will stick to being the brains... 489 00:28:40,929 --> 00:28:42,221 - not the bajingo. - All right. 490 00:28:42,222 --> 00:28:44,431 Okay, we need a mule to carry them out of here. 491 00:28:44,432 --> 00:28:45,891 Yes, panty mule. 492 00:28:45,892 --> 00:28:48,018 Someone gullible, 493 00:28:48,019 --> 00:28:52,147 and insecure enough to be flattered that you picked them. 494 00:28:52,148 --> 00:28:55,400 For the record, I was not gullible, I was trusting. 495 00:28:55,401 --> 00:28:58,403 And perhaps a little... inhibited. 496 00:28:58,404 --> 00:28:59,856 You had a flimsy sense of self. 497 00:29:00,574 --> 00:29:02,494 You dressed head to toe in Urban Outfitters. 498 00:29:03,827 --> 00:29:05,953 There's gotta be a joker in this bunch 499 00:29:05,954 --> 00:29:08,998 who needs a few extra bucks and some warm fuzzies. 500 00:29:08,999 --> 00:29:10,283 Hmm. 501 00:29:13,169 --> 00:29:15,755 - That's the one. - Where? 502 00:29:15,756 --> 00:29:17,715 - Bet he doesn't even shave yet. - That guy? 503 00:29:17,716 --> 00:29:19,008 He's like a Gerber baby. 504 00:29:19,009 --> 00:29:20,676 What makes you think that we can trust him? 505 00:29:20,677 --> 00:29:22,678 Believe me, that kid is a bug. 506 00:29:22,679 --> 00:29:25,848 He'll piss off the other COs soon enough. And then he'll be looking for friends. 507 00:29:25,849 --> 00:29:27,474 So, you tell me how this is gonna work. 508 00:29:27,475 --> 00:29:30,477 "Hi, Gerber, how do you feel about marching past security 509 00:29:30,478 --> 00:29:32,980 with a bunch of dirty panties shoved down your pants?" 510 00:29:32,981 --> 00:29:38,402 See, this is why I will handle this part. Because you have no nuance. 511 00:29:38,403 --> 00:29:41,864 Oh, yeah. Got you now. Bam! Uno, motherfucker! 512 00:29:41,865 --> 00:29:46,035 You cheating bitch! Those ain't the rules! You draw two and lose a turn. 513 00:29:46,036 --> 00:29:47,577 What you saying, I don't know Uno? 514 00:29:47,578 --> 00:29:51,331 I'm saying you sitting on cards and you're a dumb, cheating bitch! 515 00:29:51,332 --> 00:29:53,042 - Fuck you, bitch! - Hey, freeze! 516 00:29:53,043 --> 00:29:55,169 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 517 00:29:55,170 --> 00:29:58,581 Ahh! 518 00:30:03,553 --> 00:30:04,679 Whoa! 519 00:30:05,889 --> 00:30:09,016 Oh, my God. He's fucking insane! 520 00:30:09,017 --> 00:30:10,801 He's perfect. 521 00:30:11,561 --> 00:30:13,938 - This is unreadable! - What is it? 522 00:30:13,939 --> 00:30:17,316 Suzanne's erotica. It's worse than Fifty Shades! 523 00:30:17,317 --> 00:30:20,027 Not possible. How many times she use the word, "Jeez"? 524 00:30:20,028 --> 00:30:21,528 It's fucking gross. 525 00:30:21,529 --> 00:30:24,740 She's got a sentence that goes on a whole paragraph 526 00:30:24,741 --> 00:30:28,653 about some lady's clit that turns into a caterpillar! 527 00:30:29,204 --> 00:30:30,412 Mmm. 528 00:30:30,413 --> 00:30:34,117 Finished. Two new chapters! 529 00:30:34,793 --> 00:30:37,920 I eagerly await your thoughts, Madam Editor. 530 00:30:37,921 --> 00:30:40,165 Peruse at your leisure. 531 00:30:41,007 --> 00:30:43,133 I ain't perusing shit. 532 00:30:43,134 --> 00:30:46,171 Well, shit, let me see it. 533 00:30:48,223 --> 00:30:50,640 Well, you can't blame her for wanting to escape, all right? 534 00:30:50,641 --> 00:30:51,934 It's lonely as fuck in here. 535 00:30:51,935 --> 00:30:58,058 "The Admiral thrust his pork sword into her squish mitten"? 536 00:30:59,067 --> 00:31:00,400 Oh, shit! 537 00:31:00,401 --> 00:31:02,194 Mmm! 538 00:31:02,195 --> 00:31:03,612 What the fuck was that? 539 00:31:03,613 --> 00:31:08,033 You assess the situation and you respond with the appropriate level of force! 540 00:31:08,034 --> 00:31:11,120 And you never, ever, ever discharge your weapon 541 00:31:11,121 --> 00:31:13,497 unless it's absolutely necessary! 542 00:31:13,498 --> 00:31:16,583 And if you do, and that weapon happens to be pepper spray, 543 00:31:16,584 --> 00:31:19,662 you better damn well make sure you're upwind! 544 00:31:20,380 --> 00:31:24,424 You are a trigger-happy knucklehead who just got out of diapers. 545 00:31:24,425 --> 00:31:26,426 But you, how could you let this happen? 546 00:31:26,427 --> 00:31:28,763 Sir, with all due respect, I'm not a nanny. 547 00:31:28,764 --> 00:31:32,599 No! You are an officer with 20 plus years' experience, 548 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,854 and your job was to impart some wisdom on fucking Baby Huey over here! 549 00:31:36,855 --> 00:31:39,899 Well, this is what happens when you put untrained officers in gen pop. 550 00:31:39,900 --> 00:31:43,228 You don't think I know that? I fucking know that! 551 00:31:45,696 --> 00:31:48,115 - Bayley, I should be firing your ass. - I know. 552 00:31:48,116 --> 00:31:52,202 But it's your first day, so I'm gonna chalk this up to mental retardation. 553 00:31:52,203 --> 00:31:57,374 If you so much as look at an inmate wrong in the next week, you're out of here! 554 00:31:57,375 --> 00:32:00,544 Take the stupid fucking nametag off. Now go! 555 00:32:00,545 --> 00:32:03,957 Get your asses down to medical, and get an eyewash. 556 00:32:04,507 --> 00:32:07,051 And read the stupid fucking manuals! 557 00:32:07,052 --> 00:32:08,677 I hate fractions. 558 00:32:08,678 --> 00:32:10,304 - I ain't never gonna use it. - Oh, yeah? 559 00:32:10,305 --> 00:32:12,807 What about when the recipe calls for you to double it, 560 00:32:12,808 --> 00:32:15,475 and you gotta add a cup and a quarter? 561 00:32:15,476 --> 00:32:17,853 You're gonna have to know how to add those two quarters together. 562 00:32:17,854 --> 00:32:19,597 When I'm a prison cook? 563 00:32:21,942 --> 00:32:24,568 All right, let's do number five. 564 00:32:24,569 --> 00:32:28,155 "In Debra's class, three-eighths of the students have brown hair. 565 00:32:28,156 --> 00:32:31,450 Of the students with brown hair, half have brown eyes. 566 00:32:31,451 --> 00:32:33,410 What fraction of the students in Debra's class 567 00:32:33,411 --> 00:32:36,205 have both brown hair and brown eyes?" 568 00:32:36,206 --> 00:32:39,208 Fuck Debra. Right in her brown eye. 569 00:32:39,209 --> 00:32:42,336 Baby, come on, you gotta graduate. 570 00:32:42,337 --> 00:32:44,421 This is fifth-grader math! 571 00:32:44,422 --> 00:32:47,049 I mean, I don't understand it either, okay? 572 00:32:47,050 --> 00:32:52,805 But... we can figure this out. All you gotta do is get a C. 573 00:32:52,806 --> 00:32:53,973 Psst! 574 00:32:53,974 --> 00:32:57,601 - Yo, Mike, you want a bag? - Nah, man, she's not that ugly. 575 00:33:01,147 --> 00:33:02,515 What does that mean, a bag? 576 00:33:03,859 --> 00:33:07,562 - You selling weed again? - No, it's part of a joke. 577 00:33:08,488 --> 00:33:11,482 - What joke? - You wouldn't get it. 578 00:33:14,535 --> 00:33:15,660 So, you guys really getting along, huh? 579 00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:18,497 Oh, yeah, they've been giggling for the last two hours. 580 00:33:18,498 --> 00:33:21,000 He's fucking hilarious. 581 00:33:21,001 --> 00:33:22,417 Hey! Language. 582 00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:24,586 Benny said "fuck" in the car, like, four times. 583 00:33:24,587 --> 00:33:26,755 - You didn't say anything. - Benny doesn't live in our house. 584 00:33:26,756 --> 00:33:28,841 - This is censorship. - Michael. 585 00:33:28,842 --> 00:33:30,968 Fuck that, I'm not a fucking baby. 586 00:33:30,969 --> 00:33:33,888 Knock it off! Does he talk like this around the pastor? 587 00:33:33,889 --> 00:33:36,849 No, this just started. 588 00:33:36,850 --> 00:33:39,434 Well, cut it out. I'm serious. 589 00:33:39,435 --> 00:33:41,061 Fuckity fuck, fuck, fuck. 590 00:33:43,148 --> 00:33:45,690 Mendoza, they need you back in the kitchen. 591 00:33:45,691 --> 00:33:46,775 I'm with my son. 592 00:33:46,776 --> 00:33:49,069 It's an emergency. Ramos cut her finger off. 593 00:33:49,070 --> 00:33:51,906 What? Well, tell them to handle it. 594 00:33:51,907 --> 00:33:54,449 Are you in charge of the kitchen? Let's go. 595 00:33:54,450 --> 00:33:56,861 Your kid can wait in the lobby. 596 00:34:00,373 --> 00:34:01,782 Sorry, baby. 597 00:34:02,750 --> 00:34:04,119 Whatever. 598 00:34:11,342 --> 00:34:13,427 - Neri wants a baby. - Mmm. 599 00:34:13,428 --> 00:34:14,636 One day she's ranting about 600 00:34:14,637 --> 00:34:17,181 how irresponsible it is to put more people on the planet, and now, 601 00:34:17,182 --> 00:34:21,518 suddenly, she's clocking her ovulation and welding a nursery mobile 602 00:34:21,519 --> 00:34:24,396 that frankly, between you and me, looks very sharp and dangerous. 603 00:34:24,397 --> 00:34:28,101 Well, maybe you guys should go for it. I think you'd be great parents! 604 00:34:29,235 --> 00:34:33,606 You would be... memorable parents. 605 00:34:35,325 --> 00:34:37,576 I gotta get my shit together, Pipes. 606 00:34:37,577 --> 00:34:41,038 We're still living with Carol and Bill and the layers of taupe are getting to me. 607 00:34:41,039 --> 00:34:44,666 And suddenly, everyone and their mother's got a job. Even Bloomer. 608 00:34:44,667 --> 00:34:46,043 Now that Polly's whipping him into shape... 609 00:34:46,044 --> 00:34:47,995 No, no, no. No. Stop! No Larry. 610 00:34:49,089 --> 00:34:50,880 - He has a job? As what? - Mmm. 611 00:34:50,881 --> 00:34:54,259 He's a regional editor for Zagat. He's got an office and everything. 612 00:34:54,260 --> 00:34:55,836 Really? 613 00:34:56,596 --> 00:35:01,176 Look, all I'm saying is times are a-changing, and I need to work. 614 00:35:03,436 --> 00:35:04,804 I have work for you! 615 00:35:06,564 --> 00:35:07,689 Really? 616 00:35:07,690 --> 00:35:08,898 Could you build me a website? 617 00:35:08,899 --> 00:35:11,776 It could be something very simple, like a WordPress template or something. 618 00:35:11,777 --> 00:35:14,537 Why do you need a website? No one even follows your blog anymore. 619 00:35:15,698 --> 00:35:17,866 I'm starting a used panty business. 620 00:35:17,867 --> 00:35:20,035 There are people 621 00:35:20,036 --> 00:35:23,622 who like to sniff dirty underwear. 622 00:35:23,623 --> 00:35:26,125 Oh, I know. 623 00:35:26,126 --> 00:35:29,169 There's a lot of sites. You've got yourself some competition. 624 00:35:29,170 --> 00:35:31,588 Really? Well, then, how much do they go for? 625 00:35:31,589 --> 00:35:32,881 Like, 25 bucks a pop. 626 00:35:32,882 --> 00:35:35,300 But the longer the wear, the more you can tack on. 627 00:35:35,301 --> 00:35:38,262 And there's like a lot of special categories, 628 00:35:38,263 --> 00:35:40,973 like "worn to the gym," or "masturbated in," "peed in." 629 00:35:40,974 --> 00:35:42,057 What about "been to prison"? 630 00:35:42,058 --> 00:35:44,298 Oh, yeah, you could definitely charge more for that. 631 00:35:44,978 --> 00:35:46,853 Pregnant ladies are a big thing, too. 632 00:35:46,854 --> 00:35:48,230 - Really? - Yeah. 633 00:35:48,231 --> 00:35:51,441 I think it's because... maybe they... they smell different. 634 00:35:51,442 --> 00:35:56,196 You know, Neri smells different and she's just talking about getting pregnant. 635 00:35:56,197 --> 00:35:59,866 Wait, are you really gonna start a whole criminal enterprise from behind bars? 636 00:35:59,867 --> 00:36:01,694 No, it's not drugs. It's underwear. 637 00:36:02,745 --> 00:36:04,197 I like your spirit. 638 00:36:06,166 --> 00:36:08,417 I am concerned that you know all of this. 639 00:36:08,418 --> 00:36:10,119 I'm a generalist. 640 00:36:14,174 --> 00:36:17,710 - Hey. Psst. Chapman. - Yeah? 641 00:36:18,386 --> 00:36:19,587 Um... 642 00:36:20,221 --> 00:36:23,265 You think that growing up with all that money was good for you? 643 00:36:23,266 --> 00:36:24,599 In what way? 644 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,477 Like, did being a rich person make you better? 645 00:36:27,478 --> 00:36:30,730 I bet you had, like, ballet, music lessons and shit like that. 646 00:36:30,731 --> 00:36:34,234 Ballet, yeah, yeah. And I did play the flute for two years. 647 00:36:34,235 --> 00:36:36,611 Although "play" is a very strong word. 648 00:36:36,612 --> 00:36:38,988 There's this flute face that I could never... 649 00:36:38,989 --> 00:36:41,616 I never quite got right. 650 00:36:41,617 --> 00:36:45,863 Okay, so... it's a better life when you have money? 651 00:36:46,706 --> 00:36:50,834 A lot of people expect it to fill some sort of emotional hole, 652 00:36:50,835 --> 00:36:54,879 - and all it really does is buy stuff. - Yeah, but what's wrong with stuff? 653 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:59,218 Stuff is good. Especially when stuff is food or a roof over your head. 654 00:36:59,219 --> 00:37:00,927 You know, there was this study 655 00:37:00,928 --> 00:37:06,683 that said, "Money does buy happiness, up to $75,000 a year." 656 00:37:06,684 --> 00:37:10,562 But after that, increasing your income doesn't make you any happier. 657 00:37:10,563 --> 00:37:12,021 75 grand is a lot. 658 00:37:12,022 --> 00:37:15,935 Yeah, no. I guess... I guess it is. 659 00:37:16,777 --> 00:37:18,396 Are you worried about... 660 00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,864 Yeah. 661 00:37:23,368 --> 00:37:25,320 Love is the most important thing. 662 00:37:26,662 --> 00:37:29,081 Yeah, but money helps. 663 00:37:29,082 --> 00:37:33,835 Yeah, money does help. But you know what? We both ended up here. 664 00:37:33,836 --> 00:37:36,914 All right. Thanks. 665 00:37:39,175 --> 00:37:40,501 Hey, Dayanara? 666 00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:43,796 What size panties do you wear? 667 00:37:50,936 --> 00:37:52,437 Ay, damn. 668 00:37:52,438 --> 00:37:54,564 Any Jewy movies in here? Shit. 669 00:37:54,565 --> 00:37:56,525 Ain't all movies Jewy? 670 00:37:56,526 --> 00:37:59,444 Like Fiddler on the Roof or some shit like that. 671 00:37:59,445 --> 00:38:03,490 - You know, half of them don't even play. - Shit! 672 00:38:03,491 --> 00:38:06,243 I got to get ahead of this thing. 673 00:38:06,244 --> 00:38:08,745 Come and try and bust me for not being the real Jew deal, 674 00:38:08,746 --> 00:38:10,872 I got to throw some knowledge back at 'em. 675 00:38:10,873 --> 00:38:14,459 Well, look, shouldn't you be reading... What's it called, the Jewish bible? 676 00:38:14,460 --> 00:38:18,213 No, I'm going for the Jewish experience. You feel me? 677 00:38:18,214 --> 00:38:21,425 Get all cultural on them, should be mad convincing. 678 00:38:21,426 --> 00:38:25,713 Man, I need some, like... Seinfeld episodes. 679 00:38:26,139 --> 00:38:28,515 Oh! Ka-ching! 680 00:38:28,516 --> 00:38:32,101 Check it out! Woody fucking Allen. 681 00:38:32,102 --> 00:38:33,895 Now, that's some Jew shit right there. 682 00:38:33,896 --> 00:38:36,398 Look, come on, you really think they gonna test us? 683 00:38:36,399 --> 00:38:39,067 And if they do, you think Woody Allen is gonna save you? 684 00:38:39,068 --> 00:38:43,655 Oh, mark my words, they gonna test us. 685 00:38:43,656 --> 00:38:46,825 Y'all gonna be looking real stupid, but when they come for us... 686 00:38:46,826 --> 00:38:47,951 I'm gonna be ready. 687 00:38:53,249 --> 00:38:54,659 Yo, Suzanne. 688 00:38:56,669 --> 00:38:59,213 - I been reading your story. - Okay. 689 00:38:59,214 --> 00:39:00,630 So? 690 00:39:00,631 --> 00:39:04,126 Who does Edwina choose? Gilly or Space Admiral Rodcocker? 691 00:39:04,885 --> 00:39:08,172 - Uh, I haven't decided yet. - You can't leave me hanging here. 692 00:39:10,140 --> 00:39:11,891 - Yeah, well, technically... - Okay. 693 00:39:11,892 --> 00:39:14,060 ...they're not even in the same timeline. 694 00:39:14,061 --> 00:39:17,856 Admiral is in the future. Gilead is in the past. 695 00:39:17,857 --> 00:39:23,195 And Edwina, she can move through time, but only in one direction. 696 00:39:23,196 --> 00:39:27,073 Yeah, see, don't nobody care about that. Right? They just wanna get off. 697 00:39:27,074 --> 00:39:28,484 You know? 698 00:39:30,035 --> 00:39:31,119 So, you liked it? 699 00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,538 You know, it's weird as fuck, right? 700 00:39:33,539 --> 00:39:36,500 - But it just... It sucked me in. - Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh. 701 00:39:36,501 --> 00:39:40,545 I just got to kick back with some bootleg and just escape from this place. 702 00:39:40,546 --> 00:39:44,132 I even lost track of time reading it. Or I blacked out. 703 00:39:44,133 --> 00:39:47,051 Look, either way, this shit is hot. 704 00:39:48,596 --> 00:39:51,848 Just don't leave a bitch with blue balls. You know what I'm saying? 705 00:39:51,849 --> 00:39:53,308 Yes. 706 00:39:53,309 --> 00:39:55,310 - All right? You got me. - Yes. 707 00:39:55,311 --> 00:39:59,389 A'ight. Get to writing. Chop, chop. 708 00:40:00,816 --> 00:40:01,983 Hey, Joe. 709 00:40:01,984 --> 00:40:05,354 I, uh... heard about the little incident out in the yard. 710 00:40:05,821 --> 00:40:07,406 The kid panicked. 711 00:40:07,407 --> 00:40:09,191 - Watch the plant. - Right. 712 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,036 He wasn't ready. 713 00:40:13,037 --> 00:40:16,080 And inmates can sue over things like that. There was a case in Maine. 714 00:40:16,081 --> 00:40:19,869 No, no, no. You were right. It's my bad. 715 00:40:23,381 --> 00:40:26,550 Thank you. That's not how we do things. It's dangerous. 716 00:40:26,551 --> 00:40:27,801 I hear you. What do you want? 717 00:40:27,802 --> 00:40:29,553 Another two-hour class to go over procedure? 718 00:40:29,554 --> 00:40:33,222 I want a proper... 40-hour training period. 719 00:40:33,223 --> 00:40:35,885 How about we split the difference? Six hours? 720 00:40:38,438 --> 00:40:40,104 I'll take what I can get. 721 00:40:40,105 --> 00:40:41,815 Joe, I'm doing my best to work the system, 722 00:40:41,816 --> 00:40:43,983 but there's gonna be a lot of changes around here, 723 00:40:43,984 --> 00:40:45,319 and I need you to be open-minded. 724 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,821 We've got a whole new plan for the kitchen, 725 00:40:47,822 --> 00:40:49,573 work details, processing, a whole bunch of stuff. 726 00:40:49,574 --> 00:40:54,953 It's actually in the packet here and... just whenever you... 727 00:40:54,954 --> 00:40:57,114 - I'm not gonna read those. - Okay. 728 00:41:00,668 --> 00:41:03,462 - What do you do here? - What do you mean? 729 00:41:03,463 --> 00:41:06,999 - What's your official title? - I'm the Director of Human Activity. 730 00:41:07,883 --> 00:41:09,544 What does that even mean? 731 00:41:10,553 --> 00:41:12,136 That sounds like God! 732 00:41:12,137 --> 00:41:13,555 Yeah. 733 00:41:13,556 --> 00:41:14,889 No, I guess it does, it's... 734 00:41:14,890 --> 00:41:18,142 I have to be honest, this whole corporate structure thing, 735 00:41:18,143 --> 00:41:19,436 I find it confusing. 736 00:41:19,437 --> 00:41:20,854 It's actually really simple. 737 00:41:20,855 --> 00:41:23,272 So, here, you mind if I... 738 00:41:23,273 --> 00:41:27,361 So, you got the... board, right? 739 00:41:27,362 --> 00:41:30,655 And then, you got the CEO, you got the CFO, 740 00:41:30,656 --> 00:41:35,952 you got the various departments, and then here's me, here's you. 741 00:41:35,953 --> 00:41:37,203 See, we're on the same level. 742 00:41:37,204 --> 00:41:40,164 You don't seem to have to check with me to do anything. 743 00:41:40,165 --> 00:41:43,828 Because it actually flows this way. 744 00:41:45,129 --> 00:41:48,340 Through me... to you. 745 00:41:48,341 --> 00:41:51,092 So you're... you're my boss? 746 00:41:51,093 --> 00:41:55,840 No, no, no, we're on the same level. It's just that the flow is... 747 00:41:56,932 --> 00:41:58,433 this way. 748 00:41:58,434 --> 00:42:00,309 You're basically the warden? 749 00:42:00,310 --> 00:42:03,355 No, no, no, 'cause that position doesn't even exist. 750 00:42:03,356 --> 00:42:05,189 No, but it's what you are. 751 00:42:05,190 --> 00:42:09,861 I mean, if you are my boss, then... you're a warden. 752 00:42:09,862 --> 00:42:12,071 No, no, no. We don't call it that. I'm the Director... 753 00:42:12,072 --> 00:42:14,024 The Director of Human Activity. 754 00:42:21,624 --> 00:42:25,202 It's a shame. You were really helping people, Norma. 755 00:42:25,836 --> 00:42:27,504 We still have that time in the chapel. 756 00:42:27,505 --> 00:42:29,465 What are we supposed to do? Meet without you? 757 00:42:31,842 --> 00:42:33,628 Yeah, yeah. 758 00:42:41,477 --> 00:42:45,640 No, I'm fine. Maybe later. My back is acting up. 759 00:42:47,775 --> 00:42:49,526 Aw. 760 00:42:49,527 --> 00:42:51,611 You're sweet, my friend. 761 00:42:51,612 --> 00:42:53,863 Oh. Thank you. 762 00:42:55,575 --> 00:42:57,867 The pain is moving around. 763 00:42:57,868 --> 00:43:00,870 It travels from my back, down my arms, 764 00:43:00,871 --> 00:43:03,998 sometimes in my hips. 765 00:43:03,999 --> 00:43:07,494 Lower. Lower, Norma. There. There, there, there, there. 766 00:43:12,467 --> 00:43:15,127 Makes my joints tense being there. 767 00:43:15,845 --> 00:43:19,055 Watching her strut around like it's hers. 768 00:43:19,056 --> 00:43:21,975 Those tacos have no idea what they're doing. 769 00:43:21,976 --> 00:43:25,638 I'm meant to be in charge, Norma. 770 00:43:30,067 --> 00:43:34,237 Of who, you? No, I'm your friend. 771 00:43:34,238 --> 00:43:36,816 Your bossy friend, but still, your friend. 772 00:43:39,660 --> 00:43:43,162 There was this time when Vasily was only six months old, 773 00:43:43,163 --> 00:43:46,332 I had to leave him with my sister-in-law for a week. 774 00:43:46,333 --> 00:43:49,418 We thought Yuri had the measles. 775 00:43:49,419 --> 00:43:53,673 When I came to get him, he cried, and reached for her instead of me. 776 00:43:53,674 --> 00:43:56,501 Like she was his mother. 777 00:43:57,470 --> 00:44:02,382 I know it sounds crazy... but I have that same feeling now. 778 00:44:03,225 --> 00:44:06,511 That kitchen is my baby! 779 00:44:18,866 --> 00:44:22,152 Is this the thing you do? The magic? 780 00:44:23,913 --> 00:44:27,624 Well, stop it. I'm not comfortable with that. 781 00:44:27,625 --> 00:44:30,410 Come on, Norma, let's get back to the real thing. 782 00:44:43,223 --> 00:44:44,591 What is that? 783 00:44:45,935 --> 00:44:48,394 Why? What's the point? 784 00:44:48,395 --> 00:44:50,354 We don't have any members. 785 00:44:50,355 --> 00:44:53,392 And even if they wanted to come, where would we gather? 786 00:44:55,027 --> 00:44:57,821 What, along the side of the fucking highway? 787 00:44:57,822 --> 00:45:00,232 What next, rest-stop bathrooms? 788 00:45:03,035 --> 00:45:07,865 All those wives, and I'm left with you. My one true believer. 789 00:45:08,666 --> 00:45:10,917 So much for sacred vows. 790 00:45:10,918 --> 00:45:15,414 No way I'm going down on those trumped-up bullshit charges. 791 00:45:17,507 --> 00:45:20,927 Those girls were there of their own accord. 792 00:45:20,928 --> 00:45:23,130 And since when is tithing against the law? 793 00:45:25,474 --> 00:45:27,183 We got to get off the grid. 794 00:45:27,184 --> 00:45:30,137 Get back to the woods, commune with Gaia. 795 00:45:33,398 --> 00:45:35,017 Shit! 796 00:45:39,614 --> 00:45:43,366 You fucking piece of shit! Come on! 797 00:45:43,367 --> 00:45:45,569 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 798 00:45:50,165 --> 00:45:52,367 Oh, fuck! 799 00:45:53,502 --> 00:45:56,838 You bitch! You bitch! You bitch! You bitch! 800 00:45:56,839 --> 00:46:00,125 Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! 801 00:46:00,843 --> 00:46:02,086 Come on! 802 00:46:03,595 --> 00:46:06,806 Bitch! God damn it! 803 00:46:08,308 --> 00:46:09,509 Shit! 804 00:46:11,103 --> 00:46:15,231 One kick if you want money. 805 00:46:15,232 --> 00:46:18,276 Two kicks if you want to live on 149th with Grandma. 806 00:46:18,277 --> 00:46:21,271 How about I give you three kicks if you don't shut the fuck up? 807 00:46:22,657 --> 00:46:25,158 You're taking advice from a fucking fetus now? 808 00:46:25,159 --> 00:46:29,162 Nice. You trust a stupid little fetus more than me. 809 00:46:29,163 --> 00:46:31,039 I'm just trying to do the right thing. 810 00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:33,492 This is the right thing. 811 00:46:34,376 --> 00:46:37,879 What happens when you get out of here and you can't even live in public housing 812 00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:39,213 'cause you got a record? 813 00:46:39,214 --> 00:46:43,585 And you gotta pull change out of a sofa for a dollar meal? 814 00:46:44,929 --> 00:46:47,797 Why you think I've been in a bad mood for 24 years? 815 00:46:50,309 --> 00:46:51,685 You've had your good days. 816 00:46:54,063 --> 00:46:55,430 Name one. 817 00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,352 My 17th birthday. 818 00:47:00,820 --> 00:47:05,198 You took me to the day spa, we sat in the hot pool, 819 00:47:05,199 --> 00:47:07,116 we made fun of the lady with the big ass mole. 820 00:47:09,369 --> 00:47:11,321 And we got our toes done. 821 00:47:13,082 --> 00:47:15,325 I was so happy that day. 822 00:47:16,043 --> 00:47:19,420 Because Cesar gave me a fistful of cash. 823 00:47:19,421 --> 00:47:21,214 You liked me because I was buying you things. 824 00:47:21,215 --> 00:47:25,335 No. You were nice to me. 825 00:47:26,011 --> 00:47:27,762 Most of the time, you were such a bitch. 826 00:47:27,763 --> 00:47:30,882 Maybe I wouldn't have been a bitch if we had money. 827 00:47:32,142 --> 00:47:35,930 All I ever wanted was to spend time with you. 828 00:47:41,318 --> 00:47:43,687 You were stupid to want me. 829 00:47:44,654 --> 00:47:47,983 Kids are dumb, you gotta make decisions for them. 830 00:47:49,118 --> 00:47:51,953 You're gonna put a kid in a car seat and they're gonna scream and scream. 831 00:47:51,954 --> 00:47:54,634 You're not gonna take 'em out and put 'em on your lap, are you? 832 00:47:54,706 --> 00:47:56,582 You used to make Emilio ride in the trunk. 833 00:47:56,583 --> 00:47:57,834 That's not the point. 834 00:47:57,835 --> 00:48:02,421 Imagine you had some really rich family who could really provide for you. 835 00:48:02,422 --> 00:48:06,259 You probably would be a famous artist right now, instead of in here. 836 00:48:06,260 --> 00:48:09,296 You keep that baby, you're being selfish. 837 00:48:12,057 --> 00:48:14,267 I had to remake 200 dinners from scratch 838 00:48:14,268 --> 00:48:18,146 because the tip of your fucking pinky was floating around the stew somewhere. 839 00:48:18,147 --> 00:48:21,190 If you're gonna chop your finger off, you couldn't do it away from my food? 840 00:48:21,191 --> 00:48:23,102 I'm having a hard day. 841 00:48:24,236 --> 00:48:27,113 - Why weren't you watching her? - I can't do nothing with stupid. 842 00:48:27,114 --> 00:48:32,035 How am I supposed to be a mother to my son when my prison kids keep fucking it up? 843 00:48:32,036 --> 00:48:34,996 - You could start with your language. - Excuse me, what? 844 00:48:34,997 --> 00:48:36,790 Maybe try not to curse so much? 845 00:48:36,791 --> 00:48:40,334 Or at least tell your son not to. At least not around my Michael. 846 00:48:40,335 --> 00:48:41,878 What are you talking about? 847 00:48:41,879 --> 00:48:43,880 My son has never cursed before. 848 00:48:43,881 --> 00:48:45,714 And one ride with your kid, 849 00:48:45,715 --> 00:48:48,384 and suddenly, it's "Fuck this, and fuck that." 850 00:48:48,385 --> 00:48:51,846 He's 15. So what? He says "fuck." 851 00:48:51,847 --> 00:48:54,383 We don't talk like that in our house. 852 00:48:55,309 --> 00:49:00,305 You think my son is your son's problem? 853 00:49:02,316 --> 00:49:07,904 Tell Benny... to cool it with the dirty jokes and language. 854 00:49:07,905 --> 00:49:10,315 That is, if he wants to keep his ride. 855 00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:19,707 Fuck me! 856 00:49:19,708 --> 00:49:22,793 Somebody keeps leaving the handle over the fucking burner! 857 00:49:22,794 --> 00:49:24,378 Shit. 858 00:49:24,379 --> 00:49:27,756 Mendoza? What's this I hear about Ramos cutting her finger off? 859 00:49:27,757 --> 00:49:29,968 It was just the tip of her pinky. 860 00:49:29,969 --> 00:49:33,012 I would've been here... I would've cut her head off, too. 861 00:49:33,013 --> 00:49:37,016 Well, why weren't you here? Your work duty takes priority. 862 00:49:37,017 --> 00:49:39,810 We have entrusted you with a huge responsibility, 863 00:49:39,811 --> 00:49:43,689 and that means you can't take off whenever you get a visitor or a headache. 864 00:49:43,690 --> 00:49:46,985 You know what gives me a headache? This job! 865 00:49:46,986 --> 00:49:50,905 I gotta be there for my son because he needs a mother! 866 00:49:50,906 --> 00:49:54,283 I didn't ask for this shit. You know that my ankles are swollen. 867 00:49:54,284 --> 00:49:55,659 I got callouses! 868 00:49:55,660 --> 00:49:59,538 And then, my hair... smells like canola oil. 869 00:49:59,539 --> 00:50:02,784 I fucking hate this place! I quit! 870 00:50:04,253 --> 00:50:06,871 You can't quit. This is prison. 871 00:50:11,176 --> 00:50:12,919 And there's nobody else to do it. 872 00:50:19,559 --> 00:50:21,685 Jesus. 873 00:50:21,686 --> 00:50:24,772 Yeah, give it to her. I'm done. 874 00:50:24,773 --> 00:50:29,311 She wants this so bad... let her have it! 875 00:50:34,158 --> 00:50:35,484 Okay, Reznikov. 876 00:50:36,243 --> 00:50:38,403 You're up. Enjoy. 877 00:51:09,068 --> 00:51:12,987 You know... you can cut an extra one from that piece of fabric. 878 00:51:12,988 --> 00:51:14,072 I don't want them. 879 00:51:14,073 --> 00:51:17,700 Well, you could wear them until they're really dirty and then give them to me. 880 00:51:17,701 --> 00:51:20,453 Okay, Chapman. 881 00:51:20,454 --> 00:51:24,324 No, no, it's not for me. They're to, um... 882 00:51:25,917 --> 00:51:27,452 They're to sell to creepy dudes. 883 00:51:28,837 --> 00:51:30,330 Why would I wanna do that? 884 00:51:33,092 --> 00:51:35,252 Because I'm asking you. 885 00:51:37,512 --> 00:51:40,556 This is official Whispers merchandise. 886 00:52:17,969 --> 00:52:19,970 - Piper, right? - Yeah. 887 00:52:19,971 --> 00:52:22,181 - Oh, you're the murderer! - No. 888 00:52:22,182 --> 00:52:24,267 It's a long story, but it's fine. She's fine. 889 00:52:24,268 --> 00:52:28,054 She probably is the person who took you on a tour when you first got here. 890 00:52:28,897 --> 00:52:30,439 I didn't kill her. 891 00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:31,607 Oh, the little wiry one? 892 00:52:31,608 --> 00:52:34,235 - Yeah. - Yeah, you should have killed her. 893 00:52:34,236 --> 00:52:37,814 But it's nice to see you, man! We're a long way from Chicago. 894 00:52:40,575 --> 00:52:44,946 You know, I actually wanted to apologize to you... about Chicago. 895 00:52:46,915 --> 00:52:49,375 I should have stepped in when that woman jumped you. 896 00:52:49,376 --> 00:52:51,794 What? Come on. What you gonna do about that? 897 00:52:51,795 --> 00:52:54,672 You're supposed to get your ass beat over some stranger? 898 00:52:54,673 --> 00:52:58,217 - Come on, it's all right. - That's kind of what I was thinking, yeah. 899 00:52:58,218 --> 00:53:00,303 Don't worry about it. 900 00:53:00,304 --> 00:53:04,591 Oh, and... how great is this place? 901 00:53:05,934 --> 00:53:08,177 Dude, I fucking love it here. 902 00:53:09,146 --> 00:53:11,314 Um, I am the kosher meal, please. 903 00:53:11,315 --> 00:53:14,268 - Hey, no. I was next. - Are you? 904 00:53:22,367 --> 00:53:24,327 Smooth like butter. 905 00:53:24,328 --> 00:53:25,494 You, Captain Four Fingers, 906 00:53:25,495 --> 00:53:29,332 get those green beans off the burner while they're still green! 907 00:53:29,333 --> 00:53:30,999 Norma, where's that corn bread? 908 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,252 You've lost your speed, woman. Let's go. 909 00:53:33,253 --> 00:53:36,373 You're leaving a snail trail on my floor. 910 00:53:38,508 --> 00:53:40,209 You're gonna put up with that? 911 00:53:43,180 --> 00:53:48,092 Norma, check on the line, make sure those trays aren't cold. 912 00:53:48,685 --> 00:53:50,387 I saw that evil eye. 913 00:53:51,646 --> 00:53:54,565 I just... want to be a crow. 914 00:53:54,566 --> 00:53:58,186 Why can't I be a crow? 915 00:53:59,028 --> 00:54:04,526 I am a speck in the universe. A miserable speck. 916 00:54:13,585 --> 00:54:16,162 Why are you still here, Norma? 917 00:54:18,047 --> 00:54:23,844 Why are you following me... after all these years? Go! 918 00:54:23,845 --> 00:54:28,425 Run away like the rest of them. They were right, I'm a fraud. 919 00:54:29,226 --> 00:54:33,472 I'm a false prophet, Norma. I'm not your God. 920 00:54:34,273 --> 00:54:38,267 You have wasted your life on a worthless man. 921 00:54:39,444 --> 00:54:44,358 Human. Not special. Not honest. Not good. 922 00:54:45,074 --> 00:54:47,285 And now, I'm old. 923 00:54:47,286 --> 00:54:52,907 And you're old and childless... and poor and damned. 924 00:54:57,086 --> 00:54:58,287 Argh! 925 00:54:59,506 --> 00:55:01,750 You're never gonna leave, are you? 926 00:55:03,510 --> 00:55:05,879 Because you are a slave. 927 00:55:08,014 --> 00:55:10,266 A meek little servant. 928 00:55:10,267 --> 00:55:12,310 And you'll never be anything else. 929 00:55:12,311 --> 00:55:16,814 And If I didn't tell you where to go and what to do, you would have no self at all. 930 00:55:16,815 --> 00:55:18,106 Nothing! 931 00:55:18,107 --> 00:55:20,025 Silent nothing! 932 00:55:20,026 --> 00:55:21,978 Worshipping nothing! 933 00:55:25,365 --> 00:55:27,275 Speak, woman. 934 00:55:28,535 --> 00:55:30,445 Fucking speak! 935 00:55:32,622 --> 00:55:34,073 You won't, will you? 936 00:55:35,083 --> 00:55:36,334 And you know why? 937 00:55:36,335 --> 00:55:39,212 Because you have nothing to say! 938 00:55:49,348 --> 00:55:52,216 Son of a... 939 00:55:53,310 --> 00:55:54,685 bitch! 940 00:56:01,693 --> 00:56:03,527 To a meal well done. 941 00:56:03,528 --> 00:56:06,989 You have embraced your new general with dignity. 942 00:56:06,990 --> 00:56:08,991 Did we have a choice? 943 00:56:08,992 --> 00:56:12,870 Not really, but you did well anyway. I toast you all. 944 00:56:14,873 --> 00:56:17,283 Ladies, get ready to thank me. 945 00:56:19,919 --> 00:56:21,044 What is this? 946 00:56:21,045 --> 00:56:24,123 The wave of the future. 947 00:56:25,425 --> 00:56:27,794 Pre-packaged... 948 00:56:29,596 --> 00:56:31,548 boil in the bag meals. 949 00:56:32,056 --> 00:56:34,308 Your lives just got a hell of a lot easier. 950 00:56:34,309 --> 00:56:36,886 Dump these babies in the steamer... 951 00:56:38,187 --> 00:56:39,397 and call it a day. 952 00:56:39,398 --> 00:56:41,899 Tell me this is a joke. 953 00:56:41,900 --> 00:56:44,485 No... it was a memo. 954 00:56:44,486 --> 00:56:48,356 From Jeffrey in Food Services and Linda in Purchasing. 955 00:56:49,408 --> 00:56:54,112 You didn't think I'd put you in charge if you actually had any power, did you? 956 00:57:20,814 --> 00:57:22,731 She's not gonna come. 957 00:57:22,732 --> 00:57:25,192 Maybe we should take turns leading the prayer circle? 958 00:57:25,193 --> 00:57:27,778 Or we could just keep meeting with her one on one? 959 00:57:27,779 --> 00:57:30,314 But I thought the whole point of this was to organize. 960 00:57:34,911 --> 00:57:37,120 I told you. What did I tell you? 961 00:57:37,121 --> 00:57:40,449 Non-believers, all of you. Nobody ever listens to me. 962 00:57:46,965 --> 00:57:48,507 What is she doing? 963 00:57:48,508 --> 00:57:50,544 - Shh! - Oh, that felt good. 964 00:57:53,096 --> 00:57:54,673 Oh, yeah. 965 00:57:55,849 --> 00:57:58,092 Oh, thank you. 966 00:58:01,980 --> 00:58:03,063 Wow. 967 00:58:11,573 --> 00:58:13,066 Do you feel that energy? 968 00:58:13,992 --> 00:58:16,243 Oh, my gosh, I'm feeling like I'm glowing. Am I glowing? 969 00:58:32,896 --> 00:58:39,396 - Sync and corrections by awaqeded - - Resync by GoldenBeard - - www.addic7ed.com -