1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,912 [cell door slams] 2 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,040 [theme song playing] 3 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,833 [cell door slams] 4 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,598 [cell door slams] 5 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,117 - [indistinct chatter] - I can do it. 6 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:25,353 If I approach with a reasonable and a health-positive offer, 7 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,312 she can't say no. Right? 8 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:31,320 Look, I would talk to her for you, 9 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,995 but I told Badison I'd no longer be her personal phone case, 10 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:35,594 so I'm trying to avoid owing favors. 11 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,631 Other than sexual ones to you, of course. 12 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,112 [Piper] Maybe her face is so scrunched up 13 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,192 because you can't move around. It's too crowded. 14 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,840 Regular physical exercise releases facial muscles. 15 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:52,079 I wouldn't lead with that. But you got this. 16 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,390 Ooh, Chapman's a real ringer for me. 17 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,456 Could be a double-digit opportunity for both of us. 18 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,836 This game isn't as fun as I thought it would be. 19 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,195 How many points you got? 20 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,753 I haven't really been keeping track. 21 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,320 What the freight train? You gotta keep track of your points! 22 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,352 [stutters] I'm losing interest. 23 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,320 Unacceptable. Mmm-mmm. 24 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:19,110 Hello. I'm Chapman. I live on your block. 25 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,360 I was wondering if I could have a minute of your time? 26 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,679 Look, I don't want to step on anybody's toes, 27 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:31,711 but I recently spoke with the head of rec, and we're bringing back kickball. 28 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:37,478 And I was wondering if you or your colleagues would like to join. 29 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,074 I think it's gonna be a lot of fun. 30 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,913 We're gonna get extra blacktop time, 31 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:45,153 and I also think it will be an opportunity to get some actual cardio, 32 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,038 because of all the running bases. 33 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,557 - I know what kickball is. - Of course. Would you like to sign up? 34 00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,632 I retired my kickball shoes. 35 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:59,920 Would it be okay if I ask some of the other girls? 36 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,030 It's a free country. 37 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,600 Thank you. 38 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:11,597 And if you change your mind, I'm gonna save a spot for you. 39 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:17,480 Oh! 40 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,910 [sighs] Freight train. 41 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,957 [indistinct chatter] 42 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:30,037 On a scale of one to Derek Jeter, how much do you hate that cookie? 43 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,560 I don't like her, with her clipboard. 44 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:36,155 No one starts things. I'm the starter. 45 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:38,958 [indistinct chatter] 46 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:41,676 Mmm. 47 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,069 Why is this powder? 48 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,798 I had to get a little creative. 49 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,116 [snorts] Whoa! 50 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:51,998 [coughing] 51 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,080 Creative how? 52 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,999 I mighta used a riot girl to score from C-Block. 53 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,835 Wait. You used my money to line the pockets of Carol-Block? 54 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:02,832 Desperate times. 55 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,754 But a temporary stop-gap, 'cause guess who bagged CO Enders? 56 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:06,840 [laughs] 57 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,793 Next week this time, be back in the pill business. 58 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:11,951 [chuckles and sniffles] Enders, huh? 59 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,040 Mmm. 60 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:14,879 How'd you flip her? 61 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,112 [chuckling] Shall I hazard a guess? 62 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,070 [exhales heavily] 63 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,675 I get it. I get it. 64 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,952 I started this business with a rimjob. [chuckles] 65 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,673 Receiving. 66 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,400 I don't kiss ass, with or without tongue. 67 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,993 But I have been known to shove my foot up one. 68 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,834 You wanna bend over for me? What are you not saying? 69 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,594 She wants 55%. 70 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:47,474 Oh. Oh, okay. [chuckles] Well, could be worse. 71 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:51,713 [inhales deeply] That extra 20% comes out of your cut. 72 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,599 [sighs] Got it. 73 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,239 [sighs and clears throat] 74 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,994 Come here. Come. Come here. 75 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:03,390 [sniffling] Mmm-hmm. Mmm. Mmm. 76 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,320 Hi. 77 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,757 I don't like it when I have to be the bad fly. 78 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:10,910 [chuckles] 79 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:15,077 Guy. Lady. [chuckles] 80 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,157 What do you say we rewind, huh? 81 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,800 This is where you fucking say, "Yes, Ma'am." 82 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:27,830 Yes. I got you. 83 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:31,070 Ma'am! 84 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:32,160 Jesus! 85 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,511 Oh, my God! What are the flies doing here? 86 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,200 I told Tonya to close the lid on the dumpster. 87 00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:41,431 [inhales deeply] Did she clock out? 88 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,352 [breathing heavily] 89 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,150 What did you take? 90 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,072 [grunting] 91 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:53,756 Do you have more? 92 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,359 [groaning] 93 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,239 - [bone clicks] - My elbow is clicking. You hear that? 94 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,953 Wait. Is your elbow emitting a high-pitched ringing 95 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,396 not unlike that of a tuning fork? 96 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,056 'Cause that's the only sound I'm hearing. 97 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,720 It's like in The Addams Family theme song. 98 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,874 ♪ Doo-be-doo-bee, click, click ♪ 99 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,716 I guess we are dialed in to different stations. 100 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,837 Thanks to you, those thugs fucked up my hinge joint 101 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,310 and I can't get that song out of my head. 102 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:25,036 Shit! You know what song I'm thinkin' about now? [grunts] 103 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:29,875 ♪ The knee bone's connected to the Leave-me-the-fuck-alone bone ♪ 104 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,680 I know your head hurts and all, 105 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,911 but you did get to stare into my cave of wonders. 106 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,440 So, you're welcome. 107 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,480 Well, I guess the gratitude part of my brain must've been damaged 108 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:44,071 when a bookshelf got slammed onto my head, because I was helping you. 109 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,471 On your feet, Flores. Your staycation from gen pop is up. 110 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,994 - The fuck? - Oh! 111 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,790 The doctor said to ice my ribs and rest for 72 hours. 112 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,200 And I have this click. 113 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,873 A new patient needs the bed, 114 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,872 and you're the least likely to die, so come on. 115 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,634 Please, God, let the new girl be in a coma. 116 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,155 I haven't had my after-breakfast pudding. 117 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,960 This ain't the Best Value Inn. Check out is now. 118 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,633 Come on. You need help gettin' up? 119 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,552 [stutters] Don't touch. 120 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:10,676 [sighs] 121 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,479 Oh, no! No! 122 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,199 I see how it is now. 123 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:20,991 You kick out someone from C-Block so a deplorable can get the bed. 124 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,676 You outsource our jobs and repeal our healthcare? 125 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,558 [Barbara] Go away! Go away! 126 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,511 No. No! No! 127 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,496 - Should I call Burch for a Psych consult? - Help! Help me. 128 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:32,856 [doctor] No. She's high as a kite. 129 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,758 Let's see how she's doing when she comes down. 130 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:36,877 Strap her tightly. Let her ride it out. 131 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:40,032 Please, you cannot put the squawking chicken next to me, man. 132 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,760 I have a migraine. I need sleep. 133 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:43,779 - Good luck with that. - [Barbara] Help! 134 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,110 - Please help me! No! No! - Calm down. It's okay! 135 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:48,550 [groaning continues] 136 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,154 [Fig] Can I get a fucking towel, please? 137 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,310 Give me a sec. 138 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,678 Towels. Towels. Towels. 139 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,193 I just gotta remember where I packed them. 140 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:04,352 How about this one? The one with "towels" written on it in Sharpie? 141 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,353 And it's full of books. Of course. 142 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,033 I got the boxes used. 143 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,760 [groans] Joe, you could have fuckin' relabeled. 144 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:12,840 Why? 145 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,156 I'll know it's books because it's heavy. 146 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,870 Also, when I open it up, I'll see books. 147 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:26,280 You didn't pull away that time. 148 00:08:26,281 --> 00:08:28,875 I haven't had my coffee. My reflexes are compromised. 149 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,872 I am soaked. Find me a towel. 150 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:32,394 You're comfortable here. 151 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,320 Binge-watching Younger. 152 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,875 Reading Nordic noir in bed. 153 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,536 You take your bra off the second you walk in the door. 154 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,677 - The ladies like to breathe. - You see? 155 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,752 I'm finally getting to see the real Natalie. 156 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,559 It was more convenient to stay here 157 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:50,314 than to commute back and forth to Albany every day. 158 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:55,792 You've been seen sitting across from me while I eat in public. 159 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,075 Once at a Five Guys. 160 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,480 Relax. 161 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:02,594 It's like the last days of camp where everyone becomes best friends 162 00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,911 and vows to stay in touch forever. 163 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,416 It'll wear off a week after you're gone. 164 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,591 Speaking of, wasn't that supposed to be today? 165 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,159 I have one more thing to do. 166 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:15,075 And I need that shirt. The rest are in one of these boxes. 167 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,554 One more thing? 168 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,759 Let's do something special before I leave Monday. 169 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,559 Properly mark the occasion. 170 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,394 You are such a delicate flower. 171 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,154 I was thinking something like a quickie in the garden 172 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,197 at the FDR Presidential Library? 173 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,078 You so have been saving that up. 174 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,231 Since 11th-grade US history. 175 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,710 [chuckles] It's on my fucket list. 176 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,792 [chuckling] 177 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,600 - [indistinct chatter] - Let me ask you something. 178 00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:47,310 Does this hair say wrongfully accused to you? 179 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:52,156 Mmm. That hair right there be sayin', 180 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:56,678 "Moisturize my ends. Please, Lord! Shea butter my shit." 181 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,274 [chuckles] 182 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,637 Why aren't you laughing? That's funny, talkin' hair. 183 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,200 Come on. I gotta get loose for my show. 184 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:06,396 Ey! Ey! 185 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,193 - [sighs] - Your hair is fine. 186 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:10,560 I don't know why I'm so nervous. 187 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,320 Sylvia says I'm not even gonna be on camera. 188 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,073 'Cause your face would break it. 189 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:16,879 [laughing] 190 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:18,959 I'm sorry. 191 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,111 That was low-hangin' fruit. You right. My bad. 192 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,320 Wait. 193 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,790 I thought you was done with interviews after the last one? 194 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,440 What you tryin' to do? Piss off the guards at every prison? 195 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,000 It ain't an interview. 196 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,118 All right? I have a trial deposition tomorrow. 197 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,759 I thought that wasn't for months? 198 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:41,998 [sighs heavily] No, man. Caputo is moving, so they wanna get his testimony now. 199 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:45,272 And he agreed to be a character witness and say nice things about me. 200 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,195 Like how I am not a murderer. 201 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:50,960 Shit. 202 00:10:50,961 --> 00:10:55,193 And how I don't deserve the death penalty. 203 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,475 [groans] 204 00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:57,835 [winces] 205 00:10:58,640 --> 00:10:59,640 Are you okay? 206 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,915 Yeah. I'm fine. Just... 207 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,072 My back has been hurting lately. 208 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,551 Probably 'cause of them concrete beds in Ad Seg. 209 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,040 Might've pinched a nerve. 210 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:15,433 Vee used to lay on her back with, like, books under her head. 211 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,512 Said it aligned the spine. 212 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,912 [sighs] Yeah. Yeah, I could try that. 213 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,153 - Yeah. - [sighs] 214 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,560 Can I have one of those? 215 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:37,976 I don't know what you're talkin' about. 216 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,277 [sighs] Yo, I got jumped for you, remember? 217 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,430 [sighs] 218 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:43,874 I still got pain. 219 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,036 Trust me, you don't want this. 220 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,112 These are some bath salts from three years ago. 221 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,671 Sent four girls to Psych before we got it off the market. 222 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,074 Is that why Barb's in medical? 223 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:58,835 You were trying to kill her? 224 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:00,639 [sighs] Nah. 225 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:04,518 Barb's a genuine addict. She can handle the punch. 226 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,314 [sighs] I'm just trying to buy some time is all. 227 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,518 She gets a little R&R in medical. And I get some time to think. 228 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,193 That's some Iago shit. 229 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,680 You know, the bird from Aladdin? 230 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:16,719 You don't get it. 231 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,951 Druggie Barb wants to have me killed. 232 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,360 Sober Barb will do it. 233 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,999 You sound paranoid and shit. 234 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,800 This morning, I caught my roommate messing with my toothpaste. 235 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:27,359 Damn. That's some messed-up shit. 236 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:28,440 [sighs] 237 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:34,513 I'll get Barb's habit covered with what CO Enders smuggles in, 238 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,239 but it's not enough for the whole block. 239 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,674 [sighs] 240 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,072 I got no more ideas. 241 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:43,720 I maybe have an idea. 242 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:44,800 Hmm? 243 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:46,960 I already smuggled in jizz. 244 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:49,120 Jizz? 245 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:51,440 [clicks tongue] 246 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,237 [Spanish music playing over speakers] 247 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,395 All right, we're gonna take it to the left. 248 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,799 - She said left, stupid. - I went left. 249 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,554 This is left. See? "L" for left. 250 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,390 I'm confused. 251 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:13,633 Ladies! Let's control our bodies and remember the dancer's space. 252 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,758 Otherwise, accidents happen and you end up dancing from a chair. 253 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,435 I won't apologize for connecting to the music. 254 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,194 Which is why it's important to maintain proper form. 255 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:26,473 So that when you are out and the no touching rule don't apply, 256 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,517 you can carry on with a partner. 257 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,600 [chuckles] 258 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,318 You know what? Hold on. 259 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,354 [chuckles] Oh, okay. 260 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,511 Okay. Put your arms like this. Let's go. 261 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,560 Oh, wow. Okay. See? 262 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:44,077 Nobody wants to see you flapping around like a balloon at a car dealership. 263 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:47,437 But if you take ownership of your personal space... 264 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,477 - Okay, relax. Okay? - Okay. 265 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:51,074 Just being a man is half of it. 266 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,877 Okay, tuck those hips in. 267 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,077 In, under, okay? 268 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,160 Let's go. 269 00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,510 That's right. 270 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,353 Tuck it in. Tuck it in. 271 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:04,040 See the difference? 272 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:06,797 Very good. 273 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:10,353 Yes, move those hips, too. Move the hips. 274 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:14,477 - There you go! Luschek! - [chuckling] 275 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,630 Oh, it's, uh... I think the song's skipping. 276 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,313 That's how it goes. 277 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,993 Now I'm really confused. 278 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,080 [Gloria] Oh, my goodness. 279 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:34,676 Okay. Let's, um... let's see those moves. 280 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,797 It takes some getting used to. The phone and the glass. 281 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:46,790 Just like the movies, Ma. 282 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:52,270 It's so good to see you. Thank you for coming, Vasya. 283 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,955 - I'm sorry I didn't come earlier. - No, it's fine. 284 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,549 - You're here now. That's what's important. - Hmm. 285 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,312 How is Yuri? And Maxsim? 286 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,438 They didn't want to visit their mamochka in the big house? Hmm? 287 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,352 Well, no, Yuri's good. 288 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,194 He got a trucking job with Salon du Chocolat. 289 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:13,194 He's gotta drive at night when it's cool or else the nougat melts. 290 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,590 - [chuckles] - So he sleeps during the day. 291 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,656 He got Maxsim a job there, too. They're always on the road. 292 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,036 As long as they are working, that is good. 293 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,039 Yeah. 294 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:25,080 [in Russian] 295 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:28,278 [in English] Once they get on their feet, they'll make time for their mother. 296 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,480 You could all come together. 297 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,356 Maybe bring the grandbabies. 298 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,035 They're old enough to make the drive now, huh? 299 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,160 Mmm. 300 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,111 And your father? He is good, too? 301 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,436 Yeah, Pop's fine. 302 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:47,355 I stay with him every once in a while, but he's barely, uh... 303 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,033 He is also working? 304 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:53,034 [stutters] No. Actually, no, Ma. He doesn't have a job right now. 305 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,873 Why didn't he come with you? Is he sick? 306 00:15:56,960 --> 00:16:01,079 No, he's okay. He's got his colitis, but he's okay. 307 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,439 Did you not tell him I'm ready to see him again? 308 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,795 I told him, Ma. But, um... 309 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,840 I don't think he's ready to see you. 310 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,757 What do you mean? 311 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:21,798 Ma, he's seeing someone. 312 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:24,594 A woman. 313 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,080 I don't know. I think he's happy. 314 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:28,875 [chuckles] Oh, JJesus. 315 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,636 Fuck. 316 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:36,356 [gasps] Oh, so that's why no one has fucking come to see me. 317 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,353 Because you're all covering for your father's wandering pecker. 318 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:49,837 [in English] But he's still married. I did not raise you to look the other way. 319 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,956 Ma, you cut him out. You cut all of us out. 320 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:54,999 What did you expect? 321 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,038 I expected him to stay true to his marriage vows. 322 00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:59,719 [in Russian] 323 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:03,032 [in English] That was the romantic proverb he pledged to me on our wedding day. 324 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:07,239 You see, this is why no one comes to visit you. Okay? 325 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,960 To be lectured by Old Country maxims. 326 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,919 You put this glass between us, Ma. 327 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,469 You. No one else. You did it. 328 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,594 [crying] 329 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,918 [Daya] You look nice. 330 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,000 Who's the sucker? 331 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,833 I don't need no man to look nice. 332 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,360 It's for my self-esteem and shit. 333 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,114 You gotta envision the life you want and then manifest it. 334 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,913 So cheetah print is your vision? 335 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,354 [sighs] 336 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,636 You wanna be a rug in some Saudi guy's house? 337 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,518 First of all, it's leopard. 338 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,354 And like a leopard, I'm fucking adaptable. 339 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:50,832 Leopards learn to drag their prey into the trees so that the lions can't get it. 340 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,160 Margarita's real into nature documentaries. 341 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,736 I thought you were getting your own place. 342 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,160 I'm working on it. 343 00:17:58,880 --> 00:17:59,880 Shit's expensive. 344 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:01,314 They want first and last month, 345 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,835 plus a security deposit, plus a fucking brokers fee. 346 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,752 And it gotta be a three-bedroom for the kids. 347 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:12,040 Look, I maybe got an idea that could help you get them back faster. 348 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,672 You got any of Cesar's old connects? 349 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,751 We just gotta get around Lassie. 350 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,517 I heard if you dip your underwear in coyote piss, 351 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:25,636 you can mask the smell. 352 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,360 What are you talking about? I gotta wear underwear now? 353 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,399 Yeah, 'cause you're gonna be sticking... 354 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,400 up your... 355 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,439 And then you're gonna stash it in that visitor's bathroom and I... 356 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,240 Are you fucking crazy? 357 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,080 You want me to end up back in there with you? 358 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,032 They're my family, too. 359 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,736 You can't leave them in foster care. And you said you needed money. 360 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,479 I'm getting money. 361 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,029 I'm killing it with the Nutri Herbal shit. 362 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,431 I'm about to make Captain's Club and get a three-day cruise to St. Thomas. 363 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,115 - That's bullshit and you know it. - No. You're bullshit. 364 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,356 [sighs] 365 00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:02,318 I'm like a leopard. I learn from my mistakes. 366 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,677 And I ain't gonna let no lion take away my second chance. 367 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:13,234 We're back with our new advice segment, Asking for a Friend. 368 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:17,109 "Dear AFAF, I changed my whole life for this person. 369 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:22,320 I dyed my hair blonde, became a lesbian and got a tattoo of my lover's name." 370 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,198 Okay, I see the problem. 371 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:28,877 Okay, my advice is never get a tattoo of a lover's name. 372 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,840 Also, never use the word "lover." 373 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,958 I mean, have we learned nothing from Angelina Jolie? 374 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,839 [chuckling] Or Nick Cannon? Or Johnny Depp? 375 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,914 I mean, just because you change your tattoo to say "Wino Forever," 376 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,834 doesn't mean we won't remember it once said "Winona." 377 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:50,278 [gasps] Johnny Depp was knockin' cowboy boots with Wynonna Judd? 378 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,591 Hmm, love can build a bridge. 379 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,959 Only acceptable name to tattoo on your body is your mother's. 380 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,396 But, like, don't do that. That's weird. 381 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:05,679 Um, just stick to, like, shooting stars for luck or, like, Bauhaus lyrics. 382 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,274 [groaning softly] 383 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:08,950 [sighs] 384 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,672 BRB with more straight-talk-a from Flaca. 385 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:13,955 And your girl, Tova. 386 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,998 - [groans] - God, can you, like, come up here, please? 387 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:21,312 My back is jacked. This the only way the pain is less than seven. 388 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,680 You should get that checked out. 389 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:27,112 No. I am done with prison doctors after Gyno Glenn. 390 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,351 Don't be comin' at me with your judgy face, 391 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:30,715 gripin' 'bout a yeast infection 392 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,315 when it ain't my choice to wear polyester panties. 393 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,711 It's like I'm talking to nobody. I can't find any kind of flow. 394 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:40,510 This segment is a dud anyway. It's killing our comedy. 395 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,750 No. We're helping people. 396 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:48,437 Writing letters when you got no other option is cathartic and shit. 397 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,871 It's like going to confession with a priest, 398 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,553 except no one's gonna molest you. 399 00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,919 They're everywhere. 400 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,037 They're fucking everywhere. 401 00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:06,750 Please! Please! Please. 402 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,672 They're gonna eat my face off. 403 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,753 - [Nicky] Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. - [breathing heavily] 404 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,593 - Who are they? - The flies. 405 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,036 Hmm. How do you know they're gonna eat you? 406 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:20,591 They told me, with their little tiny hand-rubbing. 407 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,159 Excuse me. 408 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,392 I was recently appointed the Lord of the Flies. Okay? 409 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:30,040 So I happen to know that they're vegetarian. 410 00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:32,316 Exactly. I'm a carrot. 411 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:36,431 Okay. That's useful information. Thank you. 412 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,471 You see that giant green frog over there? 413 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:42,676 [gasps] Huh. 414 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:43,910 [Nicky] By the plant? 415 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:48,275 [gasps] Look! The frog ate him. 416 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:49,999 - [laughing] - Oh! 417 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,114 Merci beaucoup, Mr. Frog. 418 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,874 May I call you Edward Sutton Weaver Ill? 419 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,195 Oui. 420 00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,954 [breathes heavily] 421 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,475 Cool. [sighs] 422 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,831 - [gasps] What if they come back? - Yeah. 423 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,116 [stutters] They can't find you if you're quiet. 424 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,431 They have five eyes. 425 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:15,194 Look, don't worry. I'm gonna guide you out of the swamp. 426 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:16,316 Okay. 427 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:20,155 First, let's crouch down, okay? Real low. 428 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,677 [whispering] Lower. Lower. 429 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,872 Thank you so much for helping me. 430 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,919 [shushes] No fly zone. 431 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:33,960 [mouthing] Thank you. 432 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,795 [in Spanish] 433 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,990 Weird? [scoffs] Luschek? 434 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,313 [in English] Oh, yeah. I heard about the Chapo. Yeah. 435 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:56,990 Would you describe me as, um... scary? 436 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,197 No, not really. Like, Mom scary. 437 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,715 Like, I-don't-wanna-disappoint-you scary. 438 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,359 [in Spanish] 439 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,159 [grunting] 440 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,871 [breathing heavily] 441 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:17,239 [breathing heavily] 442 00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,795 [in English] where was his crotch? 443 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,911 Well, it was, like, grinding into my right thigh. 444 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,993 [in Spanish] 445 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,196 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 446 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:35,398 [in English] That was a boner-boner. [chuckles] Luschek is into you. 447 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,597 [scoffs and sighs] 448 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,831 Oh, damn. The food is here. 449 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:40,839 [in Spanish] 450 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:41,840 [in English] No. 451 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,800 [in Spanish] 452 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:56,960 [in English] Blues did this to you? 453 00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:00,360 [sighs] 454 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,310 Point those bitches out. I'll... 455 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:04,675 [in Spanish] 456 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:13,191 [in English] I can go on six days without eating. That's how I won my first car. 457 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,999 You need to tell a guard or something. 458 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:16,710 [in Spanish] 459 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:21,936 [in English] Must be someone in here 460 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,270 who doesn't buy into this alphabet war bullshit. 461 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,034 [scoffs] If I had your ass, I would ask Luschek. 462 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,356 [in Spanish] 463 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,671 [in English] Everybody has their superpowers. 464 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:39,236 Are you stupid? 465 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,119 [Blanca winces and exhales] 466 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:43,429 I need 16 signatures 467 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,638 in order for Luschek to open the yard for kickball practice. 468 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,600 I canvassed the block all day and I have three signatures. 469 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:52,960 Three! 470 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,679 One of which is Beth the baby killer. 471 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,976 Which is far too long of a name to put on a kickball jersey. 472 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,676 I'll sign up. That makes four. Quarter way there. 473 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,592 I already forged your signature. 474 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,760 We're engaged. It's legal. 475 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,878 [chuckles] You seem to forget that I have a busted shoulder. 476 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,640 Might not be too much help in the outfield. 477 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,831 I thought that you could be designated kicker, 478 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,630 which means I'm actually short 14 spots. 479 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:22,634 Kickball is classic childhood fun. Why doesn't anybody wanna play? 480 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,476 Guys? I'm asking you. 481 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:28,680 Come on, Dwight? 482 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,072 You look like you've seen sports. 483 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:37,310 It's not really a great time for me to be in the vicinity of flying balls. 484 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,880 [chuckling] 485 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:40,600 Balls. 486 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:42,480 What's your excuse? 487 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:46,269 Okay. That's fair. 488 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,719 Oh, man, white girl, I would join, 489 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,634 but I am swamped with Salsa Fitness by Gloria. 490 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,792 I gotta make lesson plans, come up with new eight counts... 491 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,157 Everybody is complaining about the loss of these cheese jobs 492 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:02,240 and having nothing to do, 493 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,518 so I offer a little bit of extra time in the open air... 494 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,798 Well, open air barely visible through a slatted roof. 495 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,116 Organized sports are nature's anti-depressants. 496 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,399 Remind me why you give a shit, Pipes. 497 00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,840 Because this place sucks. 498 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,997 At night, we're locked in a box, which is locked in a cage, 499 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,790 which is locked in a windowless compound, and I cannot do anything to change that. 500 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,960 But I can reinstate kickball. 501 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:39,680 A small, tiny thing that will make this place suck less. 502 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,639 Both while I'm here and for those who come after. 503 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,792 That's actually really nice. 504 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:49,194 Maybe you could try tetherball? 505 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:53,354 [chuckles] It doesn't matter what I choose. Nobody's going to sign up. 506 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,756 - I bet Badison's behind this. - [Badison laughs] 507 00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,397 She's marking her territory all over my stuff. 508 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,154 Maybe nobody's signing up because of this gang shit. 509 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,118 This block system is totally insane. 510 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:09,796 I mean, we're supposed to bow down to those mousey bitches? 511 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:13,874 Be all C-Block ride or die, no reasons? [tsks] 512 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:17,636 That's how Max operates. Gangs run this place. 513 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,359 Personally, I like having a team. 514 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,719 You know what is all about teams? 515 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,280 Please don't say the word "kickball." 516 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,349 It ain't a team if they're attacking their own. 517 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:27,476 Ask Blanca. 518 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,678 This is like how they tame elephants to stay in a box. 519 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:32,911 First, they tie them with a rope when they're babies. 520 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,630 By the time they're fully grown, you can keep them in there with a string. 521 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,232 They also savagely beat them with bullhooks. 522 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,958 I'm not sure how applicable that is to this situation. 523 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,635 You know what? Busted nose is right. 524 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,435 Gangs trick you into feeling that you got no other option, 525 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:55,874 but we each got our own power. 526 00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:01,917 Chapman, you wanna make kickball happen? Make kickball happen. 527 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,435 These aren't the only bitches in this prison. 528 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:06,430 Break the string. 529 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:13,797 Good morning, Maxinistas! 530 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,235 Oh! Whoa! 531 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,789 Got a whole stack of letters to get through. 532 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:24,238 [scoffs] My girl Flaca was right. Y'all got hella problems. 533 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,074 And we must be some kind of advice goddesses. 534 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:28,640 - [Flaca] Mmm-hmm. - Hmm. 535 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,631 This one looks interesting. 536 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:38,393 "Dear Asking for a Friend, me and my friend got caught up in a thing. 537 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:42,997 I lied to protect myself and now my friend is goin' down for it. 538 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:49,711 The guilt is killing me. It's giving me stomach aches. 539 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,872 I think I might have an ulcer. What should I do?" 540 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,951 - [breathes heavily] - Wow. 541 00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,112 That's a real pickle for our poor letter writer. 542 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,396 [chuckles] I got this one. 543 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:05,074 Speak on it, sis. 544 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:07,713 I got a best friend. 545 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,950 She's in a facility 1,500 miles away, 546 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,672 and I think about her every day. [chuckles] 547 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:19,393 I think about her when I'm putting on makeup 548 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:21,631 and when I'm taking off my makeup 549 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,236 and when I'm thinking about what makeup I'm gonna do. 550 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:28,514 'Cause that's what friends do. 551 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,794 But this letter writer? 552 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:34,393 She's a traitor and a hater. 553 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,193 You need to take blame for what you did. 554 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,432 [stutters] Well, now, I really don't think she did something. 555 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:42,557 She said she lied about something. 556 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:43,915 Yeah, "lied." [scoffs] 557 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,118 Lied about being a person capable of friendship, 558 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:51,433 and now her stomach acid is punishing her because she's a selfish bitch. [grunts] 559 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,552 Whoa, whoa. Language. 560 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,279 Bitch is fine. 561 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,113 Betty White said it on Hot in Cleveland. 562 00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:58,475 [sighs] 563 00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,040 [Flaca] If I met this letter writer, 564 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,272 I'd say, "There are two things I don't like about you. 565 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,755 - Your face..." - Well, sass it down a notch. 566 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:11,995 Well, this writer should suffocate herself for making the world a worse place. 567 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:13,156 Ow! 568 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:16,269 What the hell? 569 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:17,960 [sighs] 570 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,112 You understand that everything you say here today 571 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:25,080 is under oath and will be recorded and may be used during trial? 572 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:27,234 I do. 573 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,480 Please state your full name for the court record. 574 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,711 Joseph Salvatore Caputo. 575 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:36,316 Mr. Caputo, can you describe the nature of your relationship 576 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,551 with the defendant, Ms. Tasha Jefferson? 577 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:41,155 Ms. Jefferson was an inmate under my care 578 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,959 at the Litchfield Correctional Institution. 579 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,759 And you were warden of this facility? 580 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:49,076 [stutters] Technically, the director of human activity 581 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,237 but that's corporate speak. 582 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:56,315 Ms. Jefferson was also assigned work duty as my secretarial assistant. 583 00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,710 Personally chosen by me, I might add, 584 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,918 due to her placing first in our mock jobs fair. 585 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,112 How would you describe your working relationship? 586 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,760 I'd say she was an excellent assistant. 587 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,278 She was very dedicated to her job. 588 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:15,832 Easy to motivate, amenable to criticism. [sighs] 589 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:19,550 Stubborn, but a great attitude. 590 00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:21,760 [chuckling] She dropped her fair share of phone calls, 591 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:26,357 but, in her defense, the phones could be tricky at Litchfield. 592 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:28,958 We had a good working relationship. 593 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:32,952 [upbeat song playing over radio] 594 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,275 You ever been to Farmer Cubana? 595 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,558 They have the most incredible pulled pork sandwich. 596 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:42,389 It's 9:00 a.m. 597 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:44,599 [scoffs] That's the beauty of brunch. 598 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,136 If you can have French toast at 2:00, 599 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,994 you can have barbeque in the morning, you know. 600 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:50,150 Not a brunch person, or... 601 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:53,950 I read you should only eat fruit before 11:00 for the digestion. 602 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,394 Hmm. 603 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,678 [gasps] Uh, I know this other place. It's called Urban Soul. 604 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:03,994 They have this live bluegrass trio, they're amazing, and bottomless mimosas. 605 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:05,639 That don't sound fun to me. 606 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:11,394 [stutters] Uh, we could go to Costco. We get a rotisserie chicken 607 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,676 and check out the free Eagles cover band in the park. 608 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,036 I don't like none of those things. 609 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:21,270 Come on, I mean, it's... I have the whole day off. 610 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:25,559 What do you normally do on the weekends? You know, with your boyfriends? 611 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:30,112 Ain't no weekends when you're in sales. Saturday is my biggest day. 612 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,715 People finally home to open their doors. 613 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,040 What if I bought what you make on a typical Saturday? 614 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,389 - Four cases. - [scoffs] Deal. 615 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,911 I meant five. And you gotta pay for Sunday, too, 'cause of the commute. 616 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:47,880 All right. 617 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,550 If you're hungry, I know a place that makes amazing mofongo. 618 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,910 - Mofongo? [laughs] - Mofongo. You're gonna love it. 619 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,872 [indistinct yelling] 620 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:06,236 [indistinct chatter] 621 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,437 Pendejo, you couldn't give me another minute? 622 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,000 Yeah, you're a real gentleman, huh? 623 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:12,311 Yo, be careful with my shit, bro. 624 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:13,595 Where have you been? 625 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:15,677 I've been callin' you all night. 626 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:16,830 Is that my shirt? 627 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,456 You pissed it's not lying on the sidewalk with all your other shit? 628 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,358 If you'd paid your half, it wouldn't be. 629 00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:24,751 The landlord sent his wife this time, so I couldn't jerk him off. 630 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:26,800 My mom's on her way with a U-Haul, 631 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,496 but she got wedged under a bridge, so she gotta wait for a tow truck. 632 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,016 Yo, I don't wanna live with your mother. 633 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,157 [chuckles] Good, 'cause you're not invited. 634 00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:37,995 My moms don't trust women. You gotta find somewhere else. 635 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:41,800 Be careful with my shit. 636 00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,039 Don't just stand there. 637 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,033 Ain't you never seen somebody be evicted before? 638 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,715 Go get boxes and donuts. 639 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:54,910 [sighs] 640 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:04,997 I'm so happy you decided to come. 641 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:09,438 I'm telling you, it's lovely to be around people who don't judge you. 642 00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,319 And you're sure some D-Blockers will be in here? 643 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,756 Non-hostile, athletically-inclined ones? 644 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:16,433 This is a safe space. 645 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,991 [Maria] "...get thrown into the sea, with a millstone tied around their neck 646 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:23,477 than to cause one of these little ones to stumble." 647 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,392 So watch yourselves. 648 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:30,032 If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them, 649 00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,715 and if they repent, forgive them." 650 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,958 Religious people are a peaceful people. 651 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,509 - "And even if they sin against you..." - Not historically. 652 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,910 "...seven times in one day 653 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:46,792 and come back to you seven times, saying, 'I repent, ' you must forgive them." 654 00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,796 And what does this mean to you? 655 00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,798 [stutters] I don't know. I read and re-read this so many times. 656 00:34:57,880 --> 00:34:59,560 I don't know. I think it's kinda bullshit. 657 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,456 I know I'm not supposed to say that word in here, 658 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,597 but it just doesn't make sense. 659 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:05,592 What about, "Fool me once, shame on you. 660 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,115 Fool me twice, shame on me. But fool me seven times, 661 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,510 then you deserve what's coming to you?" 662 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:19,070 And maybe that's the kind of thinking that got me in here in the first place. 663 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,431 Maybe if somebody messes up that many times, 664 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,591 it's more about them hurting or something. 665 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:29,829 And that me retaliating isn't gonna fix that problem, 666 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,593 only make a new one. 667 00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:35,717 Thank you for sharing, Maria. 668 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:43,000 Would anyone else like to share their insights... 669 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:46,312 [whispering] I have always been partial to that Maya Angelou quote, 670 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:51,239 "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." 671 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:54,235 I don't hate that. 672 00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:58,032 When I first got here, 673 00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,397 you were really pregnant and you were kind of nice. 674 00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,472 Yeah? Okay, look, we were never friends. 675 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:09,115 But you didn't hate me at first. 676 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:13,194 I know I'm supposed to talk about "The JJudgment of Solomon," 677 00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:16,956 but today, I want to talk about the Cult of the Holy Virgin. 678 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,874 I told you I googled that. It's not a real thing. 679 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,714 That is because the Internet is controlled by men, 680 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,679 - and the Cult is for women only. - [chuckling] 681 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:29,117 The Internet does not want the world to know. 682 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,157 But the man will not keep us down. 683 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,917 We have been cast out for too long. 684 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:38,358 I'm doing this thing. It's kind of stupid. I'm starting a kickball league. 685 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,559 I need 16 signatures. We get extra yard time. 686 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,075 If you wanna sign up... 687 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,191 [Adeola] It cannot be contained. 688 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:54,230 It has been too long that our power and our flower has been ignored. 689 00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:58,030 But what if we took all of the flowers and combined them, 690 00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:00,954 and the smell would be overpowering, 691 00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,919 and it would be a different world, it would be a smarter world, 692 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,550 it would be the world of gardens? 693 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,519 You were also present for the riot negotiations, 694 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,671 spearheaded by Ms. Jefferson, were you not? 695 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:18,880 Not from the start, but I was brought in about halfway, yes. 696 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,120 What was your impression of my client during that time? 697 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:25,312 She took her role as lead negotiator very seriously. 698 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,757 She was articulate. She was prepared with statistics. 699 00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:34,995 It is not easy to go toe-to-toe with Natalie Figueroa, let me tell you, 700 00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:36,949 but she did. 701 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,192 She was focused on improving the conditions of the prison, 702 00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,835 which is more than I can say for most of her fellow inmates, 703 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:46,436 who were just reveling in the Purge. 704 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,270 Thank you, Mr. Caputo. 705 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,238 I have no more questions. 706 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:56,760 Mr. Caputo. 707 00:37:57,720 --> 00:38:00,440 It seems you had a very close relationship with the defendant. 708 00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:04,078 I take my role as rehabilitator very seriously. 709 00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,474 During the defendant's incitement of the riot, 710 00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,712 a crime to which she has already pleaded guilty, 711 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,996 was there ever a point where you feared for your life? 712 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,514 No. Never. 713 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:21,437 Really? Not once during three days of kidnapping and false imprisonment? 714 00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:25,109 No. 715 00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:27,994 Were you scared when Ms. JJefferson physically assaulted you? 716 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,960 - I wouldn't say she assaulted me. - I barely... 717 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:32,920 My client apologizes. 718 00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,839 The former head of public relations at MCC 719 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:41,239 has testified that he witnessed Ms. Jefferson punch you in the face, 720 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:46,392 resulting in blood, quote, "pouring from your nose." 721 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:47,880 Did that not happen? 722 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,114 Yes, it did, but... 723 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:56,671 This was after the defendant, along with three other inmates, 724 00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:58,911 trapped you in your office and threatened you 725 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,196 with various homemade prison weapons, 726 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:05,069 including "a board lined with rusty nails"? 727 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,637 Could you answer out loud, please, for the court reporter? 728 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:16,400 Yes. 729 00:39:18,720 --> 00:39:20,200 [sighs] 730 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,158 [indistinct chatter] 731 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:25,120 [clears throat] 732 00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:27,474 Nice try with Enders. 733 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,915 It's too bad she got busted coming in this morning. 734 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,037 Turns out tucking shit in your undertit 735 00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,954 doesn't work so well after a breast reduction. 736 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,760 And why do women do that, huh? 737 00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:43,835 I mean, outside of cancer, why would a woman ever make her tits smaller? 738 00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:47,119 Fucking serves her right. 739 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:55,080 We should start a club. 740 00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,189 We're injury buddies. 741 00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,840 [chuckles] We were never buddy-buddies. 742 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:03,999 Not too late to start. 743 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:08,834 Did you want something, gimpy? 744 00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:13,959 Thought you should know, your girls are falling down on their job. 745 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:15,640 Not watching your back like they should. 746 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,112 Why do I need to watch my back? 747 00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,792 I heard some inmates talking about a coup. 748 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,470 Trying to undermine your position. Like Gloria, for one. 749 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,316 Gloria? Which one is Gloria? 750 00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:35,233 [scoffs and laughs] 751 00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:38,154 What, is she gonna lead a dance-dance revolution? 752 00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:40,072 She gettin' all up on Luschek. 753 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,312 And not because of his undeniable sexual magnetism. 754 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,631 What's that? You got an eye thing? 755 00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:49,475 I'm saying, she's getting close to him for the wrong reasons. 756 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,074 Your reasons. 757 00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,473 What do you think you know? 758 00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,392 I'm an appreciator of beauty. 759 00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:06,152 I watch Luschek and when I watch him, I see what I see. 760 00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:09,631 Like, how every day he got a different phone. 761 00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:11,835 Understand me? 762 00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:14,393 Oh, I'm starting to overstand. 763 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:17,600 It's Zirconia, right? 764 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:23,798 If your intel shakes out, I might start calling you Diamond. 765 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,234 [Badison chuckles] 766 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,710 Cubic zirconia are optically flawless, 767 00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,520 so, you should probably stick with the "Z" word. 768 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,195 Lady, your real name is Irene. 769 00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:35,476 I call you Diamond, be grateful. 770 00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,520 So she's the one who OD'ed, but it's my fault? 771 00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:42,838 Christ. Firstborn's supposed to be the responsible one, 772 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,992 so how come I had enough sense not to get hooked to my own product? 773 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:48,640 Classic junkie. It's always somebody else's fault. 774 00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:50,439 Junkie's got nothing to do with it. 775 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:52,512 Family always blames family. 776 00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,195 Yesterday, my son told me that I'm the reason 777 00:41:55,280 --> 00:42:00,036 my husband is prematurely ejaculating into a divorcee from Sheepshead Bay. 778 00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:04,279 [scoffs] The problem with family is expectations. 779 00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:06,795 Unconditional love, my ass-crack. 780 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,776 You gotta earn my affections. They're not a right. 781 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:13,397 Exactly. I spent weeks apologizing to my son, begging him to visit, 782 00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:16,712 when I was the one who grew him from a speck of nothing. 783 00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,759 Fed him milk from my breast for three fucking years 784 00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:22,036 and now my tits hang like shriveled figs. 785 00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:23,120 [laughs] 786 00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:28,758 "Aw, Mommy, please come visit me. I'm so sad you only visit Barbie." 787 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:33,471 Fuck unconditional love. Hate keeps me warm at night. 788 00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:37,315 In Russia, we have a saying. 789 00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:40,552 [in Russian] 790 00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,352 You don't even have to translate that. I hear you loud and clear. 791 00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,152 Sit there. Across from me. 792 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,149 She's my partner now. 793 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,596 Thinking you're a runaway carrot is nothing. 794 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:17,592 I remember this one time I was so fucked up, 795 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,673 I go and I knock on the elevator door and nobody answers, 796 00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:22,513 - I took a shit in the hallway. - [laughing] 797 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:23,920 Yeah. Reasonable. 798 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,354 [stutters] And the next morning, 799 00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:28,751 I wake up in bed next to Katie Buhrmaster's super hairy brother 800 00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,309 and I found out that I had sold him 801 00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:35,110 my entire Beanie Baby collection for one bump. 802 00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:36,950 That doesn't sound so bad. 803 00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,475 I had Humphrey the Camel, okay? 804 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:41,916 And Garcia the Tie-Dyed Bear. 805 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:43,753 Also, I am gay. 806 00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:48,114 The next morning was the first time I tried to get sober. 807 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:54,592 Last time I was sober was, God, 30 years ago. 808 00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:57,633 I was the good daughter. 809 00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:01,712 When I first got here, man, I had ethics. 810 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,156 Strictly sell. 811 00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:08,553 I didn't even touch my own supply until that rat, Frieda, fucked everything up. 812 00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:13,474 I got added years. I could've been out by now. 813 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:17,520 Not dodging assassination attempts by my own sister. 814 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:21,230 [chuckles] Well, this place will bring out your dark side. 815 00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,676 Yeah. I learned that the last time I was here. 816 00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:25,480 You were here? 817 00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:30,159 Fuck. Maybe it really is time to get sober. 818 00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:33,551 There is too much going on around here that is getting by me. 819 00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:38,351 Eighth time's the charm. That's what I'm hoping. 820 00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:41,996 What's the point of being sober in here, huh? 821 00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:43,833 Nobody wants to feel this. 822 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:49,960 My guru, Jolene, says that I am resting up for my next life. 823 00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:52,958 Hopefully as an only child. 824 00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:58,115 I have found that it's a lot easier to just be present for your current life 825 00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,556 rather than constantly trying to score to shut it out. 826 00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:04,114 I'm just saying, there is no shutting it out. 827 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:07,591 Also sometimes you gotta do some ugly shit to score. 828 00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:10,960 Denning, you've been cleared for meds. 829 00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:15,596 Yeah, I don't need it. 830 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,320 That was colossally bone-headed. 831 00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:23,995 You could've sold that shit. This is the seller's market. 832 00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:25,594 [chuckles] 833 00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:33,354 I brought your favorite. 834 00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:36,392 Simple, but classic. 835 00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:38,756 Here. 836 00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:44,195 They're my apology chips. 837 00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:47,034 My mom said no. 838 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:52,117 I tried, I swear. 839 00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:55,352 She picked right now to be this good, lawful person 840 00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:57,312 for the first time in her life. 841 00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:02,673 Maybe we could find somebody else. You got family or a brother? 842 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,160 I got no one. 843 00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:07,277 Without product, I got nothing to offer in here, 844 00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:11,070 so it's best to walk away before you're a target by association. 845 00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:14,232 At camp, I heard that they trained a chicken to come through the fence. 846 00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:15,834 We don't go outside. 847 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:20,159 No. But the girls were saying that they're gonna bring back kickball. 848 00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:21,594 Don't you get it? 849 00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,593 If there was a way to bring shit in, I would've thought of it. 850 00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:27,070 Sometimes you gotta say dumb ideas to get to a good one. 851 00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:28,958 You want drugs that bad? 852 00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:31,279 Are you that fucking desperate? 853 00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:34,072 It's not about the drugs. 854 00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,392 Are you gonna make me say it? 855 00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:47,717 You've been nice to me. 856 00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:49,676 [sighs] 857 00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:54,715 I don't wanna be alone. 858 00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:56,029 [sniffles] 859 00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,355 [both breathing heavily] 860 00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:30,480 Shit. 861 00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:33,272 [grunting] 862 00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:36,830 [sighs] 863 00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:41,435 [clears throat] 864 00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,912 Is it better if I say sorry or just not address it? 865 00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:50,835 Oh, it's cool. I came, like, a bunch of times, too. 866 00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:52,719 Really? 867 00:47:52,720 --> 00:47:55,155 No, stupid. That took, like, three seconds. 868 00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:56,435 Hmm. 869 00:47:58,080 --> 00:47:59,560 I made you breakfast. 870 00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:05,896 It's the chocolate one, not spinach. 871 00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:07,070 [chuckles] 872 00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:08,680 [slurps] 873 00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:10,400 Mmm! 874 00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:12,432 Maybe you could take a container to work. 875 00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:13,795 The other guards might like it. 876 00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:15,200 [sighs and sniffles] 877 00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,840 You know what? I bet the guys will go nuts for it. 878 00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,958 You know, you might even get three new customers. 879 00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,396 Yeah. Great. Three. Hmm. 880 00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,154 I'll have my own place in no time. 881 00:48:26,240 --> 00:48:29,756 Hey, I told you, you can stay here as long as you need. 882 00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:30,759 [sighs] 883 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:35,118 This ain't big enough for me and my kids. Plus, your grandmother lives here. 884 00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:36,839 Yeah, but she never comes out. 885 00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:38,149 [sighs] 886 00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:45,750 [chuckles] Listen, I'm gonna be back around 7:00. 887 00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,560 In case maybe you wanna make dinner. 888 00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:50,279 [stutters] Not in a blender. 889 00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:53,273 And nothing too spicy. That aggravates Nana's night reflux. 890 00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,800 Okay. [sniffles and sighs] 891 00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:08,156 [door closes] 892 00:49:08,240 --> 00:49:09,640 [sighs] 893 00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:14,197 [Spanish music playing over speakers] 894 00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:27,120 Again. 895 00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:36,594 [laughs] That was so good. 896 00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:42,034 Wow. You're in the groove. I think that was the best class yet. 897 00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:44,589 It was maybe top three. At most. 898 00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:47,430 [Gloria] Um... 899 00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:49,915 We gotta talk. 900 00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:52,800 I know. I'm sorry. 901 00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:55,759 I didn't know if it was better to apologize to you after the fact 902 00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:57,274 or pretend like it didn't happen. 903 00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,113 Uh, I wasn't talking about that. 904 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:04,239 [stutters] No? I mean, me, neither. What are we talking about? 905 00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:05,320 [sighs] 906 00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,800 It's this gang shit. It's out of control. 907 00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:11,600 And no offense, but the COs are doing nothing 908 00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:13,360 and people are getting really hurt in here. 909 00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:16,000 I wouldn't say we're not doing nothing. 910 00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:19,558 We canceled mixed yard and put Swope in the SHU. 911 00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:23,554 That don't matter when C's attacking C. It's gone intra-block now. 912 00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:26,593 I will definitely look into that. 913 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:31,599 And I will talk to the interim warden, 914 00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:35,196 even though I'm pretty sure she doesn't give a flying fuck. 915 00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:36,920 Well... 916 00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:39,760 you got charm. 917 00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:42,910 Use it. 918 00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:55,435 [sighs] You know, you're at least 15 years too old for him. 919 00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:57,512 I don't know what you're talking about. 920 00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,353 If you ever go into that class again, 921 00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:02,592 I'll have Shruti cut out your thyroid in your sleep. 922 00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:07,637 She was one test away from being an ENT surgeon. 923 00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:09,600 Feel me? 924 00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:22,430 You need all these books? 925 00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:24,876 I didn't know half the words those lawyers were saying. 926 00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:27,759 It was like a scene out of Boston Legal. 927 00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,309 And then this prosecutor lady was coming for me. 928 00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:35,390 She tried to paint me as some revenge monster. 929 00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:38,595 Broken by the system, my ass. 930 00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:40,279 [sighs] 931 00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:42,317 You got good people on your side, too. 932 00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,590 You said your lawyer was hella smart. 933 00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:48,354 I don't know if that's enough. 934 00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:55,150 It was nice to hear all those things that Mr. Caputo was saying about me. 935 00:51:55,240 --> 00:51:58,597 After all that him and I had been through, 936 00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:02,799 for him to step up like that, man... 937 00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:06,709 [sighs] He's a good egg. 938 00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,912 - [groans] - Hey! Are you okay? 939 00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,320 [breathing heavily] 940 00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:23,593 I gotta tell you something. 941 00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:28,080 It's real bad, T. 942 00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:30,470 Come on, now. You know you can tell me. 943 00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,313 [breathing heavily] 944 00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:35,360 I... 945 00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:43,669 [cries] 946 00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:46,835 [Black Cindy sighs] 947 00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:50,920 I got a daughter. 948 00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,992 - Oh. - [cries] 949 00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:58,078 [sighs] Look, that's cool. 950 00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:00,599 I mean, how old is she? 951 00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:05,234 Thirteen. 952 00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:09,671 She doesn't even know she's my kid. 953 00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,237 She thinks she's my sister. 954 00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:15,994 Look, that happens. All right? 955 00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:19,278 Some people think that Solange is Beyoncé's daughter. 956 00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:21,591 I didn't even tell the dad, neither. 957 00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:26,957 Instead, I lied to protect myself. 958 00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:34,312 He out there walking around, no clue what could hit him. 959 00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,074 I'm here pretending like it didn't even happen. 960 00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:44,037 Going on in life like... 961 00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:46,675 Like nothing. 962 00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,316 I'm sorry, T. I'm sorry I lied to you. 963 00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:56,040 [inhales sharply] I'm not a good person. 964 00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:57,120 No. 965 00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:00,073 - I'm not a good person. - I know you. All right? 966 00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:04,074 There is so much good in you. You had your reasons. 967 00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:07,672 I'm not a good person, T. 968 00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:12,591 No. All right? No. No. 969 00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:16,235 You are a good egg, too. 970 00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:18,312 [crying] I'm not a good person, T. 971 00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:23,037 - [knocking at door] - [exhales] 972 00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:26,030 [scoffs] What do you want? 973 00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,510 If you'd answer your fucking phone, I would tell you. 974 00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:32,150 I can't fucking find it. It's probably in a box with my towels. 975 00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:35,597 I'm moving, remember? You banished me to Missouri. 976 00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:37,990 [scoffs] I should've banished you from opening your mouth, 977 00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:39,776 but I didn't think I needed to tape that shut. 978 00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:41,154 What are you talking about? 979 00:54:41,240 --> 00:54:44,153 I am talking about being a good employee, Joe! 980 00:54:44,240 --> 00:54:47,756 Toeing the company line and not fucking the people who pay you. 981 00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:51,197 How is taking a bottom-feeding job not toeing the company line? 982 00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:53,636 Jack Pearson personally called me to ask me 983 00:54:53,720 --> 00:54:58,511 why you were on the defense witness list for Tasha Jefferson. 984 00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:02,389 You are making me look like a fucking idiot for not firing you. 985 00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:03,720 Are you trying to get me fired? 986 00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:07,875 Linda, it's not about you. 987 00:55:09,240 --> 00:55:11,311 I am trying to do the right thing by that girl. 988 00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:14,393 Well, this isn't about the right thing, Joe. 989 00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:17,473 And stop acting like you're above all this. 990 00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:22,954 Stop acting like you can just do whatever you want without consequences. 991 00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:26,634 MCC's dirt is your dirt. 992 00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:28,556 You're MCC. 993 00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:32,120 Yeah. 994 00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:36,678 No. Not anymore. 995 00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:39,080 I quit. 996 00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:40,160 [scoffs] 997 00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:45,350 [sighs] 998 00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:47,115 [indistinct chatter] 999 00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:50,437 - [Alex laughs] - Oh, that's right. 1000 00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:55,158 Oh, no, I didn't order this. 1001 00:55:55,240 --> 00:55:57,232 Open the book, JJonBenét. 1002 00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:04,636 [gasps and laughs] 1003 00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:08,351 Yes! Yay! [laughs] 1004 00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:12,034 Look who got kickball going. 1005 00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:13,839 There must've been divine intervention. 1006 00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:16,754 Your D-Block friend got all the church ladies to sign up. 1007 00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:18,559 I told you God is real. 1008 00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:20,555 Like in that movie they made 1009 00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:23,030 based on the kid's memoir that turned out to be a hoax. 1010 00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:24,315 [sighs] 1011 00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:27,512 I feel like I should warn you that I am not a graceful loser. 1012 00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:35,719 [scoffs] You didn't get kickball. You got D-Block kickball. 1013 00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:37,757 I just offered it to anybody who wanted to play. 1014 00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:39,354 You said I could ask the other girls. 1015 00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:43,798 If Barb's bitches are playing, we gotta have our own team. 1016 00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:47,470 Akers, Creech, Chambal, both Amys, you're joining kickball. 1017 00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:49,153 - Yeah, I call pitcher. - Damn it! 1018 00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:50,440 Can we change it to dodgeball? 1019 00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:53,759 Badison, you're in charge. 1020 00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:56,912 We can call it Badison News Bears. [laughs] 1021 00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:57,959 That's stupid. 1022 00:56:57,960 --> 00:56:58,996 Oh. 1023 00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,474 Great. 1024 00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:06,200 Diamond! Yo, you can be base coach. 1025 00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:07,600 For real? 1026 00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:13,629 - [indistinct chatter] - [imitates airplane roaring] 1027 00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:40,000 [inhales deeply] 1028 00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:42,714 If we're gonna do this, 1029 00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:45,478 we gotta be smarter this time. 1030 00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:47,995 ["The Lion Sleeps Tonight" playing] 1031 00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:56,749 ♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪ 1032 00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,958 ♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪ 1033 00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:06,955 ♪ In the jungle, the mightyjungle The lion sleeps tonight ♪ 1034 00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:14,713 ♪ In the jungle, the quietjungle The lion sleeps tonight ♪ 1035 00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:25,759 ♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪ 1036 00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:38,318 ♪ Near the village, the peaceful village The lion sleeps tonight ♪ 1037 00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:46,153 ♪ Near the village, the quiet village The lion sleeps tonight ♪ 1038 00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:57,199 ♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪