1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,912
[cell door slams]
2
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,040
[theme song playing]
3
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,833
[cell door slams]
4
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,598
[cell door slams]
5
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,117
- [indistinct chatter]
- I can do it.
6
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:25,353
If I approach with a reasonable
and a health-positive offer,
7
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,312
she can't say no. Right?
8
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:31,320
Look, I would talk to her for you,
9
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,995
but I told Badison
I'd no longer be her personal phone case,
10
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:35,594
so I'm trying to avoid owing favors.
11
00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,631
Other than sexual ones to you, of course.
12
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,112
[Piper] Maybe her face is so scrunched up
13
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,192
because you can't move around.
It's too crowded.
14
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,840
Regular physical exercise
releases facial muscles.
15
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:52,079
I wouldn't lead with that.
But you got this.
16
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,390
Ooh, Chapman's a real ringer for me.
17
00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,456
Could be a double-digit opportunity
for both of us.
18
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,836
This game isn't as fun
as I thought it would be.
19
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,195
How many points you got?
20
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,753
I haven't really been keeping track.
21
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,320
What the freight train?
You gotta keep track of your points!
22
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,352
[stutters] I'm losing interest.
23
00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,320
Unacceptable. Mmm-mmm.
24
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:19,110
Hello. I'm Chapman. I live on your block.
25
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,360
I was wondering
if I could have a minute of your time?
26
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,679
Look, I don't want to step on
anybody's toes,
27
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:31,711
but I recently spoke with the head of rec,
and we're bringing back kickball.
28
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:37,478
And I was wondering if you
or your colleagues would like to join.
29
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,074
I think it's gonna be a lot of fun.
30
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,913
We're gonna get extra blacktop time,
31
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:45,153
and I also think it will be an opportunity
to get some actual cardio,
32
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,038
because of all the running bases.
33
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,557
- I know what kickball is.
- Of course. Would you like to sign up?
34
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,632
I retired my kickball shoes.
35
00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:59,920
Would it be okay
if I ask some of the other girls?
36
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,030
It's a free country.
37
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,600
Thank you.
38
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:11,597
And if you change your mind,
I'm gonna save a spot for you.
39
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:17,480
Oh!
40
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,910
[sighs] Freight train.
41
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,957
[indistinct chatter]
42
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:30,037
On a scale of one to Derek Jeter,
how much do you hate that cookie?
43
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,560
I don't like her, with her clipboard.
44
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:36,155
No one starts things. I'm the starter.
45
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:38,958
[indistinct chatter]
46
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:41,676
Mmm.
47
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,069
Why is this powder?
48
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,798
I had to get a little creative.
49
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,116
[snorts] Whoa!
50
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:51,998
[coughing]
51
00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,080
Creative how?
52
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,999
I mighta used a riot girl
to score from C-Block.
53
00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,835
Wait. You used my money
to line the pockets of Carol-Block?
54
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:02,832
Desperate times.
55
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,754
But a temporary stop-gap,
'cause guess who bagged CO Enders?
56
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:06,840
[laughs]
57
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,793
Next week this time,
be back in the pill business.
58
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:11,951
[chuckles and sniffles] Enders, huh?
59
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,040
Mmm.
60
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:14,879
How'd you flip her?
61
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,112
[chuckling] Shall I hazard a guess?
62
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,070
[exhales heavily]
63
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,675
I get it. I get it.
64
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,952
I started this business with a rimjob.
[chuckles]
65
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,673
Receiving.
66
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,400
I don't kiss ass, with or without tongue.
67
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,993
But I have been known
to shove my foot up one.
68
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,834
You wanna bend over for me?
What are you not saying?
69
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,594
She wants 55%.
70
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:47,474
Oh. Oh, okay.
[chuckles] Well, could be worse.
71
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:51,713
[inhales deeply]
That extra 20% comes out of your cut.
72
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,599
[sighs] Got it.
73
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,239
[sighs and clears throat]
74
00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,994
Come here. Come. Come here.
75
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:03,390
[sniffling] Mmm-hmm. Mmm. Mmm.
76
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,320
Hi.
77
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,757
I don't like it
when I have to be the bad fly.
78
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:10,910
[chuckles]
79
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:15,077
Guy. Lady. [chuckles]
80
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,157
What do you say we rewind, huh?
81
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,800
This is where you fucking say,
"Yes, Ma'am."
82
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:27,830
Yes. I got you.
83
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:31,070
Ma'am!
84
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:32,160
Jesus!
85
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,511
Oh, my God! What are the flies doing here?
86
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,200
I told Tonya to close the lid
on the dumpster.
87
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:41,431
[inhales deeply] Did she clock out?
88
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,352
[breathing heavily]
89
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,150
What did you take?
90
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,072
[grunting]
91
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:53,756
Do you have more?
92
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,359
[groaning]
93
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,239
- [bone clicks]
- My elbow is clicking. You hear that?
94
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,953
Wait. Is your elbow emitting
a high-pitched ringing
95
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,396
not unlike that of a tuning fork?
96
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,056
'Cause that's the only sound I'm hearing.
97
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,720
It's like in The Addams Family theme song.
98
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,874
♪ Doo-be-doo-bee, click, click ♪
99
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,716
I guess we are dialed in
to different stations.
100
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,837
Thanks to you,
those thugs fucked up my hinge joint
101
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,310
and I can't get that song out of my head.
102
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:25,036
Shit! You know what song
I'm thinkin' about now? [grunts]
103
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:29,875
♪ The knee bone's connected to the
Leave-me-the-fuck-alone bone ♪
104
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,680
I know your head hurts and all,
105
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,911
but you did get to stare
into my cave of wonders.
106
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,440
So, you're welcome.
107
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,480
Well, I guess the gratitude part
of my brain must've been damaged
108
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:44,071
when a bookshelf got slammed onto my head,
because I was helping you.
109
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,471
On your feet, Flores.
Your staycation from gen pop is up.
110
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,994
- The fuck?
- Oh!
111
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,790
The doctor said to ice my ribs
and rest for 72 hours.
112
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,200
And I have this click.
113
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,873
A new patient needs the bed,
114
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,872
and you're the least likely to die,
so come on.
115
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,634
Please, God,
let the new girl be in a coma.
116
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,155
I haven't had my after-breakfast pudding.
117
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,960
This ain't the Best Value Inn.
Check out is now.
118
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,633
Come on. You need help gettin' up?
119
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,552
[stutters] Don't touch.
120
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:10,676
[sighs]
121
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,479
Oh, no! No!
122
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,199
I see how it is now.
123
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:20,991
You kick out someone from C-Block
so a deplorable can get the bed.
124
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,676
You outsource our jobs
and repeal our healthcare?
125
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,558
[Barbara] Go away! Go away!
126
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,511
No. No! No!
127
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,496
- Should I call Burch for a Psych consult?
- Help! Help me.
128
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:32,856
[doctor] No. She's high as a kite.
129
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,758
Let's see how she's doing
when she comes down.
130
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:36,877
Strap her tightly. Let her ride it out.
131
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:40,032
Please, you cannot put
the squawking chicken next to me, man.
132
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,760
I have a migraine. I need sleep.
133
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:43,779
- Good luck with that.
- [Barbara] Help!
134
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,110
- Please help me! No! No!
- Calm down. It's okay!
135
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:48,550
[groaning continues]
136
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,154
[Fig] Can I get a fucking towel, please?
137
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,310
Give me a sec.
138
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,678
Towels. Towels. Towels.
139
00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,193
I just gotta remember where I packed them.
140
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:04,352
How about this one? The one with "towels"
written on it in Sharpie?
141
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,353
And it's full of books. Of course.
142
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,033
I got the boxes used.
143
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,760
[groans] Joe, you could have
fuckin' relabeled.
144
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:12,840
Why?
145
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,156
I'll know it's books because it's heavy.
146
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,870
Also, when I open it up, I'll see books.
147
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:26,280
You didn't pull away that time.
148
00:08:26,281 --> 00:08:28,875
I haven't had my coffee.
My reflexes are compromised.
149
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,872
I am soaked. Find me a towel.
150
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:32,394
You're comfortable here.
151
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,320
Binge-watching Younger.
152
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,875
Reading Nordic noir in bed.
153
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,536
You take your bra off
the second you walk in the door.
154
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,677
- The ladies like to breathe.
- You see?
155
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,752
I'm finally getting to see
the real Natalie.
156
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,559
It was more convenient to stay here
157
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:50,314
than to commute back and forth
to Albany every day.
158
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:55,792
You've been seen sitting across from me
while I eat in public.
159
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,075
Once at a Five Guys.
160
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,480
Relax.
161
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:02,594
It's like the last days of camp
where everyone becomes best friends
162
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,911
and vows to stay in touch forever.
163
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,416
It'll wear off a week after you're gone.
164
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,591
Speaking of,
wasn't that supposed to be today?
165
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,159
I have one more thing to do.
166
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:15,075
And I need that shirt.
The rest are in one of these boxes.
167
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,554
One more thing?
168
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,759
Let's do something special
before I leave Monday.
169
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,559
Properly mark the occasion.
170
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,394
You are such a delicate flower.
171
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,154
I was thinking something like
a quickie in the garden
172
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,197
at the FDR Presidential Library?
173
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,078
You so have been saving that up.
174
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,231
Since 11th-grade US history.
175
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,710
[chuckles] It's on my fucket list.
176
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,792
[chuckling]
177
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,600
- [indistinct chatter]
- Let me ask you something.
178
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:47,310
Does this hair say
wrongfully accused to you?
179
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:52,156
Mmm. That hair right there be sayin',
180
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:56,678
"Moisturize my ends.
Please, Lord! Shea butter my shit."
181
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,274
[chuckles]
182
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,637
Why aren't you laughing?
That's funny, talkin' hair.
183
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,200
Come on. I gotta get loose for my show.
184
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:06,396
Ey! Ey!
185
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,193
- [sighs]
- Your hair is fine.
186
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:10,560
I don't know why I'm so nervous.
187
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,320
Sylvia says I'm not even gonna be
on camera.
188
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,073
'Cause your face would break it.
189
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:16,879
[laughing]
190
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:18,959
I'm sorry.
191
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,111
That was low-hangin' fruit.
You right. My bad.
192
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,320
Wait.
193
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,790
I thought you was done with interviews
after the last one?
194
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,440
What you tryin' to do?
Piss off the guards at every prison?
195
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,000
It ain't an interview.
196
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,118
All right?
I have a trial deposition tomorrow.
197
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,759
I thought that wasn't for months?
198
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:41,998
[sighs heavily] No, man. Caputo is moving,
so they wanna get his testimony now.
199
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:45,272
And he agreed to be a character witness
and say nice things about me.
200
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,195
Like how I am not a murderer.
201
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:50,960
Shit.
202
00:10:50,961 --> 00:10:55,193
And how I don't deserve the death penalty.
203
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,475
[groans]
204
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:57,835
[winces]
205
00:10:58,640 --> 00:10:59,640
Are you okay?
206
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,915
Yeah. I'm fine. Just...
207
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,072
My back has been hurting lately.
208
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,551
Probably 'cause of them concrete beds
in Ad Seg.
209
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,040
Might've pinched a nerve.
210
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:15,433
Vee used to lay on her back
with, like, books under her head.
211
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,512
Said it aligned the spine.
212
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,912
[sighs] Yeah. Yeah, I could try that.
213
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,153
- Yeah.
- [sighs]
214
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,560
Can I have one of those?
215
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:37,976
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
216
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,277
[sighs] Yo, I got jumped for you,
remember?
217
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,430
[sighs]
218
00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:43,874
I still got pain.
219
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,036
Trust me, you don't want this.
220
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,112
These are some bath salts
from three years ago.
221
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,671
Sent four girls to Psych
before we got it off the market.
222
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,074
Is that why Barb's in medical?
223
00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:58,835
You were trying to kill her?
224
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:00,639
[sighs] Nah.
225
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:04,518
Barb's a genuine addict.
She can handle the punch.
226
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,314
[sighs] I'm just trying to
buy some time is all.
227
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,518
She gets a little R&R in medical.
And I get some time to think.
228
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,193
That's some Iago shit.
229
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,680
You know, the bird from Aladdin?
230
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:16,719
You don't get it.
231
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,951
Druggie Barb wants to have me killed.
232
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,360
Sober Barb will do it.
233
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,999
You sound paranoid and shit.
234
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,800
This morning, I caught my roommate
messing with my toothpaste.
235
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:27,359
Damn. That's some messed-up shit.
236
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:28,440
[sighs]
237
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:34,513
I'll get Barb's habit covered
with what CO Enders smuggles in,
238
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,239
but it's not enough for the whole block.
239
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,674
[sighs]
240
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,072
I got no more ideas.
241
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:43,720
I maybe have an idea.
242
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:44,800
Hmm?
243
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:46,960
I already smuggled in jizz.
244
00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:49,120
Jizz?
245
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:51,440
[clicks tongue]
246
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,237
[Spanish music playing over speakers]
247
00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,395
All right, we're gonna take it
to the left.
248
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,799
- She said left, stupid.
- I went left.
249
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,554
This is left. See? "L" for left.
250
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,390
I'm confused.
251
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:13,633
Ladies! Let's control our bodies
and remember the dancer's space.
252
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,758
Otherwise, accidents happen
and you end up dancing from a chair.
253
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,435
I won't apologize
for connecting to the music.
254
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,194
Which is why it's important
to maintain proper form.
255
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:26,473
So that when you are out
and the no touching rule don't apply,
256
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,517
you can carry on with a partner.
257
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,600
[chuckles]
258
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,318
You know what? Hold on.
259
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,354
[chuckles] Oh, okay.
260
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,511
Okay. Put your arms like this. Let's go.
261
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,560
Oh, wow. Okay. See?
262
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:44,077
Nobody wants to see you flapping around
like a balloon at a car dealership.
263
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:47,437
But if you take ownership
of your personal space...
264
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,477
- Okay, relax. Okay?
- Okay.
265
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:51,074
Just being a man is half of it.
266
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,877
Okay, tuck those hips in.
267
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,077
In, under, okay?
268
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,160
Let's go.
269
00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,510
That's right.
270
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,353
Tuck it in. Tuck it in.
271
00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:04,040
See the difference?
272
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:06,797
Very good.
273
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:10,353
Yes, move those hips, too. Move the hips.
274
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:14,477
- There you go! Luschek!
- [chuckling]
275
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,630
Oh, it's, uh...
I think the song's skipping.
276
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,313
That's how it goes.
277
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,993
Now I'm really confused.
278
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,080
[Gloria] Oh, my goodness.
279
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:34,676
Okay. Let's, um... let's see those moves.
280
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,797
It takes some getting used to.
The phone and the glass.
281
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:46,790
Just like the movies, Ma.
282
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:52,270
It's so good to see you.
Thank you for coming, Vasya.
283
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,955
- I'm sorry I didn't come earlier.
- No, it's fine.
284
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,549
- You're here now. That's what's important.
- Hmm.
285
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,312
How is Yuri? And Maxsim?
286
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,438
They didn't want to visit
their mamochka in the big house? Hmm?
287
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,352
Well, no, Yuri's good.
288
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,194
He got a trucking job
with Salon du Chocolat.
289
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:13,194
He's gotta drive at night
when it's cool or else the nougat melts.
290
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,590
- [chuckles]
- So he sleeps during the day.
291
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,656
He got Maxsim a job there, too.
They're always on the road.
292
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,036
As long as they are working, that is good.
293
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,039
Yeah.
294
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:25,080
[in Russian]
295
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:28,278
[in English] Once they get on their feet,
they'll make time for their mother.
296
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,480
You could all come together.
297
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,356
Maybe bring the grandbabies.
298
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,035
They're old enough
to make the drive now, huh?
299
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,160
Mmm.
300
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,111
And your father? He is good, too?
301
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,436
Yeah, Pop's fine.
302
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:47,355
I stay with him every once in a while,
but he's barely, uh...
303
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,033
He is also working?
304
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:53,034
[stutters] No. Actually, no, Ma.
He doesn't have a job right now.
305
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,873
Why didn't he come with you? Is he sick?
306
00:15:56,960 --> 00:16:01,079
No, he's okay.
He's got his colitis, but he's okay.
307
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,439
Did you not tell him
I'm ready to see him again?
308
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,795
I told him, Ma. But, um...
309
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,840
I don't think he's ready to see you.
310
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,757
What do you mean?
311
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:21,798
Ma, he's seeing someone.
312
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:24,594
A woman.
313
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,080
I don't know. I think he's happy.
314
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:28,875
[chuckles] Oh, JJesus.
315
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,636
Fuck.
316
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:36,356
[gasps] Oh, so that's why no one
has fucking come to see me.
317
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,353
Because you're all covering
for your father's wandering pecker.
318
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:49,837
[in English] But he's still married.
I did not raise you to look the other way.
319
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,956
Ma, you cut him out.
You cut all of us out.
320
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:54,999
What did you expect?
321
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,038
I expected him to stay true
to his marriage vows.
322
00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:59,719
[in Russian]
323
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:03,032
[in English] That was the romantic proverb
he pledged to me on our wedding day.
324
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:07,239
You see, this is why no one comes
to visit you. Okay?
325
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,960
To be lectured by Old Country maxims.
326
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,919
You put this glass between us, Ma.
327
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,469
You. No one else. You did it.
328
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,594
[crying]
329
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,918
[Daya] You look nice.
330
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,000
Who's the sucker?
331
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,833
I don't need no man to look nice.
332
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,360
It's for my self-esteem and shit.
333
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,114
You gotta envision the life you want
and then manifest it.
334
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,913
So cheetah print is your vision?
335
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,354
[sighs]
336
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,636
You wanna be a rug
in some Saudi guy's house?
337
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,518
First of all, it's leopard.
338
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,354
And like a leopard, I'm fucking adaptable.
339
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:50,832
Leopards learn to drag their prey into
the trees so that the lions can't get it.
340
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,160
Margarita's real
into nature documentaries.
341
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,736
I thought you were getting your own place.
342
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,160
I'm working on it.
343
00:17:58,880 --> 00:17:59,880
Shit's expensive.
344
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:01,314
They want first and last month,
345
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,835
plus a security deposit,
plus a fucking brokers fee.
346
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,752
And it gotta be a three-bedroom
for the kids.
347
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:12,040
Look, I maybe got an idea
that could help you get them back faster.
348
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,672
You got any of Cesar's old connects?
349
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,751
We just gotta get around Lassie.
350
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,517
I heard if you dip your underwear
in coyote piss,
351
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:25,636
you can mask the smell.
352
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,360
What are you talking about?
I gotta wear underwear now?
353
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,399
Yeah, 'cause you're gonna be sticking...
354
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,400
up your...
355
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,439
And then you're gonna stash it
in that visitor's bathroom and I...
356
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,240
Are you fucking crazy?
357
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,080
You want me to end up
back in there with you?
358
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,032
They're my family, too.
359
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,736
You can't leave them in foster care.
And you said you needed money.
360
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,479
I'm getting money.
361
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,029
I'm killing it with the Nutri Herbal shit.
362
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,431
I'm about to make Captain's Club
and get a three-day cruise to St. Thomas.
363
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,115
- That's bullshit and you know it.
- No. You're bullshit.
364
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,356
[sighs]
365
00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:02,318
I'm like a leopard.
I learn from my mistakes.
366
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,677
And I ain't gonna let no lion
take away my second chance.
367
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:13,234
We're back with our new advice segment,
Asking for a Friend.
368
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:17,109
"Dear AFAF,
I changed my whole life for this person.
369
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:22,320
I dyed my hair blonde, became a lesbian
and got a tattoo of my lover's name."
370
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,198
Okay, I see the problem.
371
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:28,877
Okay, my advice is
never get a tattoo of a lover's name.
372
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,840
Also, never use the word "lover."
373
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,958
I mean, have we learned nothing
from Angelina Jolie?
374
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,839
[chuckling] Or Nick Cannon?
Or Johnny Depp?
375
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,914
I mean, just because you change
your tattoo to say "Wino Forever,"
376
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,834
doesn't mean we won't remember
it once said "Winona."
377
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:50,278
[gasps] Johnny Depp was knockin'
cowboy boots with Wynonna Judd?
378
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,591
Hmm, love can build a bridge.
379
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,959
Only acceptable name
to tattoo on your body is your mother's.
380
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,396
But, like, don't do that. That's weird.
381
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:05,679
Um, just stick to, like, shooting stars
for luck or, like, Bauhaus lyrics.
382
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,274
[groaning softly]
383
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:08,950
[sighs]
384
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,672
BRB with more straight-talk-a from Flaca.
385
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:13,955
And your girl, Tova.
386
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,998
- [groans]
- God, can you, like, come up here, please?
387
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:21,312
My back is jacked. This the only way
the pain is less than seven.
388
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,680
You should get that checked out.
389
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:27,112
No. I am done with prison doctors
after Gyno Glenn.
390
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,351
Don't be comin' at me
with your judgy face,
391
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:30,715
gripin' 'bout a yeast infection
392
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,315
when it ain't my choice
to wear polyester panties.
393
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,711
It's like I'm talking to nobody.
I can't find any kind of flow.
394
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:40,510
This segment is a dud anyway.
It's killing our comedy.
395
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,750
No. We're helping people.
396
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:48,437
Writing letters when you got
no other option is cathartic and shit.
397
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,871
It's like going to confession
with a priest,
398
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,553
except no one's gonna molest you.
399
00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,919
They're everywhere.
400
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,037
They're fucking everywhere.
401
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:06,750
Please! Please! Please.
402
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,672
They're gonna eat my face off.
403
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,753
- [Nicky] Oh, my God. Okay. Okay.
- [breathing heavily]
404
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,593
- Who are they?
- The flies.
405
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,036
Hmm. How do you know
they're gonna eat you?
406
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:20,591
They told me,
with their little tiny hand-rubbing.
407
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,159
Excuse me.
408
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,392
I was recently appointed
the Lord of the Flies. Okay?
409
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:30,040
So I happen to know
that they're vegetarian.
410
00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:32,316
Exactly. I'm a carrot.
411
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:36,431
Okay. That's useful information.
Thank you.
412
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,471
You see that giant green frog over there?
413
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:42,676
[gasps] Huh.
414
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:43,910
[Nicky] By the plant?
415
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:48,275
[gasps] Look! The frog ate him.
416
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:49,999
- [laughing]
- Oh!
417
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,114
Merci beaucoup, Mr. Frog.
418
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,874
May I call you Edward Sutton Weaver Ill?
419
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,195
Oui.
420
00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,954
[breathes heavily]
421
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,475
Cool. [sighs]
422
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,831
- [gasps] What if they come back?
- Yeah.
423
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,116
[stutters] They can't find you
if you're quiet.
424
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,431
They have five eyes.
425
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:15,194
Look, don't worry.
I'm gonna guide you out of the swamp.
426
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:16,316
Okay.
427
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:20,155
First, let's crouch down, okay? Real low.
428
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,677
[whispering] Lower. Lower.
429
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,872
Thank you so much for helping me.
430
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,919
[shushes] No fly zone.
431
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:33,960
[mouthing] Thank you.
432
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,795
[in Spanish]
433
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,990
Weird? [scoffs] Luschek?
434
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,313
[in English] Oh, yeah.
I heard about the Chapo. Yeah.
435
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:56,990
Would you describe me as, um... scary?
436
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,197
No, not really. Like, Mom scary.
437
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,715
Like, I-don't-wanna-disappoint-you scary.
438
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,359
[in Spanish]
439
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,159
[grunting]
440
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,871
[breathing heavily]
441
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:17,239
[breathing heavily]
442
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,795
[in English] where was his crotch?
443
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,911
Well, it was, like,
grinding into my right thigh.
444
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,993
[in Spanish]
445
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,196
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
446
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:35,398
[in English] That was a boner-boner.
[chuckles] Luschek is into you.
447
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,597
[scoffs and sighs]
448
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,831
Oh, damn. The food is here.
449
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:40,839
[in Spanish]
450
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:41,840
[in English] No.
451
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,800
[in Spanish]
452
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:56,960
[in English] Blues did this to you?
453
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:00,360
[sighs]
454
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,310
Point those bitches out. I'll...
455
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:04,675
[in Spanish]
456
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:13,191
[in English] I can go on six days without
eating. That's how I won my first car.
457
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,999
You need to tell a guard or something.
458
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:16,710
[in Spanish]
459
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:21,936
[in English] Must be someone in here
460
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,270
who doesn't buy into
this alphabet war bullshit.
461
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,034
[scoffs] If I had your ass,
I would ask Luschek.
462
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,356
[in Spanish]
463
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,671
[in English]
Everybody has their superpowers.
464
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:39,236
Are you stupid?
465
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,119
[Blanca winces and exhales]
466
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:43,429
I need 16 signatures
467
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,638
in order for Luschek to open the yard
for kickball practice.
468
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,600
I canvassed the block all day
and I have three signatures.
469
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:52,960
Three!
470
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,679
One of which is Beth the baby killer.
471
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,976
Which is far too long of a name
to put on a kickball jersey.
472
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,676
I'll sign up. That makes four.
Quarter way there.
473
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,592
I already forged your signature.
474
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,760
We're engaged. It's legal.
475
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,878
[chuckles] You seem to forget
that I have a busted shoulder.
476
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,640
Might not be too much help
in the outfield.
477
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,831
I thought that you could be
designated kicker,
478
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,630
which means I'm actually short 14 spots.
479
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:22,634
Kickball is classic childhood fun.
Why doesn't anybody wanna play?
480
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,476
Guys? I'm asking you.
481
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:28,680
Come on, Dwight?
482
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,072
You look like you've seen sports.
483
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:37,310
It's not really a great time for me
to be in the vicinity of flying balls.
484
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,880
[chuckling]
485
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:40,600
Balls.
486
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:42,480
What's your excuse?
487
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:46,269
Okay. That's fair.
488
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,719
Oh, man, white girl, I would join,
489
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,634
but I am swamped
with Salsa Fitness by Gloria.
490
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,792
I gotta make lesson plans,
come up with new eight counts...
491
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,157
Everybody is complaining
about the loss of these cheese jobs
492
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:02,240
and having nothing to do,
493
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,518
so I offer a little bit of extra time
in the open air...
494
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,798
Well, open air barely visible
through a slatted roof.
495
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,116
Organized sports
are nature's anti-depressants.
496
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,399
Remind me why you give a shit, Pipes.
497
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,840
Because this place sucks.
498
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,997
At night, we're locked in a box,
which is locked in a cage,
499
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,790
which is locked in a windowless compound,
and I cannot do anything to change that.
500
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,960
But I can reinstate kickball.
501
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:39,680
A small, tiny thing
that will make this place suck less.
502
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,639
Both while I'm here
and for those who come after.
503
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,792
That's actually really nice.
504
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:49,194
Maybe you could try tetherball?
505
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:53,354
[chuckles] It doesn't matter
what I choose. Nobody's going to sign up.
506
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,756
- I bet Badison's behind this.
- [Badison laughs]
507
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,397
She's marking her territory
all over my stuff.
508
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,154
Maybe nobody's signing up
because of this gang shit.
509
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,118
This block system is totally insane.
510
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:09,796
I mean, we're supposed to bow down
to those mousey bitches?
511
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:13,874
Be all C-Block ride or die, no reasons?
[tsks]
512
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:17,636
That's how Max operates.
Gangs run this place.
513
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,359
Personally, I like having a team.
514
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,719
You know what is all about teams?
515
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,280
Please don't say the word "kickball."
516
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,349
It ain't a team
if they're attacking their own.
517
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:27,476
Ask Blanca.
518
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,678
This is like how they tame elephants
to stay in a box.
519
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:32,911
First, they tie them with a rope
when they're babies.
520
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,630
By the time they're fully grown,
you can keep them in there with a string.
521
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,232
They also savagely beat them
with bullhooks.
522
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,958
I'm not sure how applicable that is
to this situation.
523
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,635
You know what? Busted nose is right.
524
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,435
Gangs trick you into feeling
that you got no other option,
525
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:55,874
but we each got our own power.
526
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:01,917
Chapman, you wanna make kickball happen?
Make kickball happen.
527
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,435
These aren't the only bitches
in this prison.
528
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:06,430
Break the string.
529
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:13,797
Good morning, Maxinistas!
530
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,235
Oh! Whoa!
531
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,789
Got a whole stack of letters
to get through.
532
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:24,238
[scoffs] My girl Flaca was right.
Y'all got hella problems.
533
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,074
And we must be some kind
of advice goddesses.
534
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:28,640
- [Flaca] Mmm-hmm.
- Hmm.
535
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,631
This one looks interesting.
536
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:38,393
"Dear Asking for a Friend,
me and my friend got caught up in a thing.
537
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:42,997
I lied to protect myself
and now my friend is goin' down for it.
538
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:49,711
The guilt is killing me.
It's giving me stomach aches.
539
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,872
I think I might have an ulcer.
What should I do?"
540
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,951
- [breathes heavily]
- Wow.
541
00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,112
That's a real pickle
for our poor letter writer.
542
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,396
[chuckles] I got this one.
543
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:05,074
Speak on it, sis.
544
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:07,713
I got a best friend.
545
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,950
She's in a facility 1,500 miles away,
546
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,672
and I think about her every day.
[chuckles]
547
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:19,393
I think about her
when I'm putting on makeup
548
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:21,631
and when I'm taking off my makeup
549
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,236
and when I'm thinking about
what makeup I'm gonna do.
550
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:28,514
'Cause that's what friends do.
551
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,794
But this letter writer?
552
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:34,393
She's a traitor and a hater.
553
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,193
You need to take blame for what you did.
554
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,432
[stutters] Well, now, I really don't think
she did something.
555
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:42,557
She said she lied about something.
556
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:43,915
Yeah, "lied." [scoffs]
557
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,118
Lied about being a person
capable of friendship,
558
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:51,433
and now her stomach acid is punishing her
because she's a selfish bitch. [grunts]
559
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,552
Whoa, whoa. Language.
560
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,279
Bitch is fine.
561
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,113
Betty White said it on Hot in Cleveland.
562
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:58,475
[sighs]
563
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,040
[Flaca] If I met this letter writer,
564
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,272
I'd say, "There are two things
I don't like about you.
565
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,755
- Your face..."
- Well, sass it down a notch.
566
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:11,995
Well, this writer should suffocate herself
for making the world a worse place.
567
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:13,156
Ow!
568
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:16,269
What the hell?
569
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:17,960
[sighs]
570
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,112
You understand
that everything you say here today
571
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:25,080
is under oath and will be recorded
and may be used during trial?
572
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:27,234
I do.
573
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,480
Please state your full name
for the court record.
574
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,711
Joseph Salvatore Caputo.
575
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:36,316
Mr. Caputo, can you describe
the nature of your relationship
576
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,551
with the defendant, Ms. Tasha Jefferson?
577
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:41,155
Ms. Jefferson was an inmate under my care
578
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,959
at the Litchfield
Correctional Institution.
579
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,759
And you were warden of this facility?
580
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:49,076
[stutters] Technically,
the director of human activity
581
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,237
but that's corporate speak.
582
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:56,315
Ms. Jefferson was also assigned work duty
as my secretarial assistant.
583
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,710
Personally chosen by me, I might add,
584
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,918
due to her placing first
in our mock jobs fair.
585
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,112
How would you describe
your working relationship?
586
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,760
I'd say she was an excellent assistant.
587
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,278
She was very dedicated to her job.
588
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:15,832
Easy to motivate,
amenable to criticism. [sighs]
589
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:19,550
Stubborn, but a great attitude.
590
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:21,760
[chuckling] She dropped
her fair share of phone calls,
591
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:26,357
but, in her defense,
the phones could be tricky at Litchfield.
592
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:28,958
We had a good working relationship.
593
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:32,952
[upbeat song playing over radio]
594
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,275
You ever been to Farmer Cubana?
595
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,558
They have the most incredible
pulled pork sandwich.
596
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:42,389
It's 9:00 a.m.
597
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:44,599
[scoffs] That's the beauty of brunch.
598
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,136
If you can have French toast at 2:00,
599
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,994
you can have barbeque
in the morning, you know.
600
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:50,150
Not a brunch person, or...
601
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:53,950
I read you should only eat fruit
before 11:00 for the digestion.
602
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,394
Hmm.
603
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,678
[gasps] Uh, I know this other place.
It's called Urban Soul.
604
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:03,994
They have this live bluegrass trio,
they're amazing, and bottomless mimosas.
605
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:05,639
That don't sound fun to me.
606
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:11,394
[stutters] Uh, we could go to Costco.
We get a rotisserie chicken
607
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,676
and check out the free Eagles cover band
in the park.
608
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,036
I don't like none of those things.
609
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:21,270
Come on, I mean, it's...
I have the whole day off.
610
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:25,559
What do you normally do on the weekends?
You know, with your boyfriends?
611
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:30,112
Ain't no weekends when you're in sales.
Saturday is my biggest day.
612
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,715
People finally home to open their doors.
613
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,040
What if I bought
what you make on a typical Saturday?
614
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,389
- Four cases.
- [scoffs] Deal.
615
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,911
I meant five. And you gotta pay
for Sunday, too, 'cause of the commute.
616
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:47,880
All right.
617
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,550
If you're hungry, I know a place
that makes amazing mofongo.
618
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,910
- Mofongo? [laughs]
- Mofongo. You're gonna love it.
619
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,872
[indistinct yelling]
620
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:06,236
[indistinct chatter]
621
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,437
Pendejo, you couldn't give me
another minute?
622
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,000
Yeah, you're a real gentleman, huh?
623
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:12,311
Yo, be careful with my shit, bro.
624
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:13,595
Where have you been?
625
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:15,677
I've been callin' you all night.
626
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:16,830
Is that my shirt?
627
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,456
You pissed it's not lying on the sidewalk
with all your other shit?
628
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,358
If you'd paid your half, it wouldn't be.
629
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:24,751
The landlord sent his wife this time,
so I couldn't jerk him off.
630
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:26,800
My mom's on her way with a U-Haul,
631
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,496
but she got wedged under a bridge,
so she gotta wait for a tow truck.
632
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,016
Yo, I don't wanna live with your mother.
633
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,157
[chuckles] Good,
'cause you're not invited.
634
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:37,995
My moms don't trust women.
You gotta find somewhere else.
635
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:41,800
Be careful with my shit.
636
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,039
Don't just stand there.
637
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,033
Ain't you never seen
somebody be evicted before?
638
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,715
Go get boxes and donuts.
639
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:54,910
[sighs]
640
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:04,997
I'm so happy you decided to come.
641
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:09,438
I'm telling you, it's lovely
to be around people who don't judge you.
642
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,319
And you're sure some D-Blockers
will be in here?
643
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,756
Non-hostile, athletically-inclined ones?
644
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:16,433
This is a safe space.
645
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,991
[Maria] "...get thrown into the sea,
with a millstone tied around their neck
646
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:23,477
than to cause one of these
little ones to stumble."
647
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,392
So watch yourselves.
648
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:30,032
If your brother or sister
sins against you, rebuke them,
649
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,715
and if they repent, forgive them."
650
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,958
Religious people are a peaceful people.
651
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,509
- "And even if they sin against you..."
- Not historically.
652
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,910
"...seven times in one day
653
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:46,792
and come back to you seven times, saying,
'I repent, ' you must forgive them."
654
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,796
And what does this mean to you?
655
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,798
[stutters] I don't know.
I read and re-read this so many times.
656
00:34:57,880 --> 00:34:59,560
I don't know. I think it's kinda bullshit.
657
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,456
I know I'm not supposed
to say that word in here,
658
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,597
but it just doesn't make sense.
659
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:05,592
What about, "Fool me once, shame on you.
660
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,115
Fool me twice, shame on me.
But fool me seven times,
661
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,510
then you deserve what's coming to you?"
662
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:19,070
And maybe that's the kind of thinking
that got me in here in the first place.
663
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,431
Maybe if somebody messes up
that many times,
664
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,591
it's more about them hurting or something.
665
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:29,829
And that me retaliating
isn't gonna fix that problem,
666
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,593
only make a new one.
667
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:35,717
Thank you for sharing, Maria.
668
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:43,000
Would anyone else like to share
their insights...
669
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:46,312
[whispering] I have always been partial
to that Maya Angelou quote,
670
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:51,239
"When people show you who they are,
believe them the first time."
671
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:54,235
I don't hate that.
672
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:58,032
When I first got here,
673
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,397
you were really pregnant
and you were kind of nice.
674
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,472
Yeah? Okay, look, we were never friends.
675
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:09,115
But you didn't hate me at first.
676
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:13,194
I know I'm supposed to talk about
"The JJudgment of Solomon,"
677
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:16,956
but today, I want to talk about
the Cult of the Holy Virgin.
678
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,874
I told you I googled that.
It's not a real thing.
679
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,714
That is because
the Internet is controlled by men,
680
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,679
- and the Cult is for women only.
- [chuckling]
681
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:29,117
The Internet
does not want the world to know.
682
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,157
But the man will not keep us down.
683
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,917
We have been cast out for too long.
684
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:38,358
I'm doing this thing. It's kind of stupid.
I'm starting a kickball league.
685
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,559
I need 16 signatures.
We get extra yard time.
686
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,075
If you wanna sign up...
687
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,191
[Adeola] It cannot be contained.
688
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:54,230
It has been too long that our power
and our flower has been ignored.
689
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:58,030
But what if we took all of the flowers
and combined them,
690
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:00,954
and the smell would be overpowering,
691
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,919
and it would be a different world,
it would be a smarter world,
692
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,550
it would be the world of gardens?
693
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,519
You were also present
for the riot negotiations,
694
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,671
spearheaded by Ms. Jefferson,
were you not?
695
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:18,880
Not from the start,
but I was brought in about halfway, yes.
696
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,120
What was your impression of my client
during that time?
697
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:25,312
She took her role as lead negotiator
very seriously.
698
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,757
She was articulate.
She was prepared with statistics.
699
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:34,995
It is not easy to go toe-to-toe
with Natalie Figueroa, let me tell you,
700
00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:36,949
but she did.
701
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,192
She was focused on improving
the conditions of the prison,
702
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,835
which is more than I can say
for most of her fellow inmates,
703
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:46,436
who were just reveling in the Purge.
704
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,270
Thank you, Mr. Caputo.
705
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,238
I have no more questions.
706
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:56,760
Mr. Caputo.
707
00:37:57,720 --> 00:38:00,440
It seems you had a very close relationship
with the defendant.
708
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:04,078
I take my role as rehabilitator
very seriously.
709
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,474
During the defendant's incitement
of the riot,
710
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,712
a crime to which
she has already pleaded guilty,
711
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,996
was there ever a point
where you feared for your life?
712
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,514
No. Never.
713
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:21,437
Really? Not once during three days
of kidnapping and false imprisonment?
714
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:25,109
No.
715
00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:27,994
Were you scared when Ms. JJefferson
physically assaulted you?
716
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,960
- I wouldn't say she assaulted me.
- I barely...
717
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:32,920
My client apologizes.
718
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,839
The former head of public relations at MCC
719
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:41,239
has testified that he witnessed
Ms. Jefferson punch you in the face,
720
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:46,392
resulting in blood, quote,
"pouring from your nose."
721
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:47,880
Did that not happen?
722
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,114
Yes, it did, but...
723
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:56,671
This was after the defendant,
along with three other inmates,
724
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:58,911
trapped you in your office
and threatened you
725
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,196
with various homemade prison weapons,
726
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:05,069
including "a board lined
with rusty nails"?
727
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,637
Could you answer out loud, please,
for the court reporter?
728
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:16,400
Yes.
729
00:39:18,720 --> 00:39:20,200
[sighs]
730
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,158
[indistinct chatter]
731
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:25,120
[clears throat]
732
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:27,474
Nice try with Enders.
733
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,915
It's too bad she got busted
coming in this morning.
734
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,037
Turns out tucking shit in your undertit
735
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,954
doesn't work so well
after a breast reduction.
736
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,760
And why do women do that, huh?
737
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:43,835
I mean, outside of cancer, why would
a woman ever make her tits smaller?
738
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:47,119
Fucking serves her right.
739
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:55,080
We should start a club.
740
00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,189
We're injury buddies.
741
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,840
[chuckles] We were never buddy-buddies.
742
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:03,999
Not too late to start.
743
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:08,834
Did you want something, gimpy?
744
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:13,959
Thought you should know,
your girls are falling down on their job.
745
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:15,640
Not watching your back like they should.
746
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,112
Why do I need to watch my back?
747
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,792
I heard some inmates talking about a coup.
748
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,470
Trying to undermine your position.
Like Gloria, for one.
749
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,316
Gloria? Which one is Gloria?
750
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:35,233
[scoffs and laughs]
751
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:38,154
What, is she gonna lead
a dance-dance revolution?
752
00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:40,072
She gettin' all up on Luschek.
753
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,312
And not because of
his undeniable sexual magnetism.
754
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,631
What's that? You got an eye thing?
755
00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:49,475
I'm saying, she's getting close to him
for the wrong reasons.
756
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,074
Your reasons.
757
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,473
What do you think you know?
758
00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,392
I'm an appreciator of beauty.
759
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:06,152
I watch Luschek and when I watch him,
I see what I see.
760
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:09,631
Like, how every day
he got a different phone.
761
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:11,835
Understand me?
762
00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:14,393
Oh, I'm starting to overstand.
763
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:17,600
It's Zirconia, right?
764
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:23,798
If your intel shakes out,
I might start calling you Diamond.
765
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,234
[Badison chuckles]
766
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,710
Cubic zirconia are optically flawless,
767
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,520
so, you should probably stick
with the "Z" word.
768
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,195
Lady, your real name is Irene.
769
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:35,476
I call you Diamond, be grateful.
770
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,520
So she's the one who OD'ed,
but it's my fault?
771
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:42,838
Christ. Firstborn's supposed to be
the responsible one,
772
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,992
so how come I had enough sense
not to get hooked to my own product?
773
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:48,640
Classic junkie.
It's always somebody else's fault.
774
00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:50,439
Junkie's got nothing to do with it.
775
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:52,512
Family always blames family.
776
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,195
Yesterday, my son told me
that I'm the reason
777
00:41:55,280 --> 00:42:00,036
my husband is prematurely ejaculating
into a divorcee from Sheepshead Bay.
778
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:04,279
[scoffs] The problem with family
is expectations.
779
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:06,795
Unconditional love, my ass-crack.
780
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,776
You gotta earn my affections.
They're not a right.
781
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:13,397
Exactly. I spent weeks apologizing
to my son, begging him to visit,
782
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:16,712
when I was the one who grew him
from a speck of nothing.
783
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,759
Fed him milk from my breast
for three fucking years
784
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:22,036
and now my tits hang like shriveled figs.
785
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:23,120
[laughs]
786
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:28,758
"Aw, Mommy, please come visit me.
I'm so sad you only visit Barbie."
787
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:33,471
Fuck unconditional love.
Hate keeps me warm at night.
788
00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:37,315
In Russia, we have a saying.
789
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:40,552
[in Russian]
790
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,352
You don't even have to translate that.
I hear you loud and clear.
791
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,152
Sit there. Across from me.
792
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,149
She's my partner now.
793
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,596
Thinking you're a runaway carrot
is nothing.
794
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:17,592
I remember this one time
I was so fucked up,
795
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,673
I go and I knock on the elevator door
and nobody answers,
796
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:22,513
- I took a shit in the hallway.
- [laughing]
797
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:23,920
Yeah. Reasonable.
798
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,354
[stutters] And the next morning,
799
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:28,751
I wake up in bed next to
Katie Buhrmaster's super hairy brother
800
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,309
and I found out that I had sold him
801
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:35,110
my entire Beanie Baby collection
for one bump.
802
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:36,950
That doesn't sound so bad.
803
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,475
I had Humphrey the Camel, okay?
804
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:41,916
And Garcia the Tie-Dyed Bear.
805
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:43,753
Also, I am gay.
806
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:48,114
The next morning was the first time
I tried to get sober.
807
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:54,592
Last time I was sober was, God,
30 years ago.
808
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:57,633
I was the good daughter.
809
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:01,712
When I first got here, man, I had ethics.
810
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,156
Strictly sell.
811
00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:08,553
I didn't even touch my own supply until
that rat, Frieda, fucked everything up.
812
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:13,474
I got added years.
I could've been out by now.
813
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:17,520
Not dodging assassination attempts
by my own sister.
814
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:21,230
[chuckles] Well, this place will bring out
your dark side.
815
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,676
Yeah. I learned that the last time
I was here.
816
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:25,480
You were here?
817
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:30,159
Fuck. Maybe it really is time
to get sober.
818
00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:33,551
There is too much going on around here
that is getting by me.
819
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:38,351
Eighth time's the charm.
That's what I'm hoping.
820
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:41,996
What's the point
of being sober in here, huh?
821
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:43,833
Nobody wants to feel this.
822
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:49,960
My guru, Jolene, says
that I am resting up for my next life.
823
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:52,958
Hopefully as an only child.
824
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:58,115
I have found that it's a lot easier
to just be present for your current life
825
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,556
rather than constantly trying to score
to shut it out.
826
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:04,114
I'm just saying,
there is no shutting it out.
827
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:07,591
Also sometimes you gotta do
some ugly shit to score.
828
00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:10,960
Denning, you've been cleared for meds.
829
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:15,596
Yeah, I don't need it.
830
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,320
That was colossally bone-headed.
831
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:23,995
You could've sold that shit.
This is the seller's market.
832
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:25,594
[chuckles]
833
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:33,354
I brought your favorite.
834
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:36,392
Simple, but classic.
835
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:38,756
Here.
836
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:44,195
They're my apology chips.
837
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:47,034
My mom said no.
838
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:52,117
I tried, I swear.
839
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:55,352
She picked right now
to be this good, lawful person
840
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:57,312
for the first time in her life.
841
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:02,673
Maybe we could find somebody else.
You got family or a brother?
842
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,160
I got no one.
843
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:07,277
Without product,
I got nothing to offer in here,
844
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:11,070
so it's best to walk away
before you're a target by association.
845
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:14,232
At camp, I heard that they trained
a chicken to come through the fence.
846
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:15,834
We don't go outside.
847
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:20,159
No. But the girls were saying
that they're gonna bring back kickball.
848
00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:21,594
Don't you get it?
849
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,593
If there was a way to bring shit in,
I would've thought of it.
850
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:27,070
Sometimes you gotta say dumb ideas
to get to a good one.
851
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:28,958
You want drugs that bad?
852
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:31,279
Are you that fucking desperate?
853
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:34,072
It's not about the drugs.
854
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,392
Are you gonna make me say it?
855
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:47,717
You've been nice to me.
856
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:49,676
[sighs]
857
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:54,715
I don't wanna be alone.
858
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:56,029
[sniffles]
859
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,355
[both breathing heavily]
860
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:30,480
Shit.
861
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:33,272
[grunting]
862
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:36,830
[sighs]
863
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:41,435
[clears throat]
864
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,912
Is it better if I say sorry
or just not address it?
865
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:50,835
Oh, it's cool.
I came, like, a bunch of times, too.
866
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:52,719
Really?
867
00:47:52,720 --> 00:47:55,155
No, stupid.
That took, like, three seconds.
868
00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:56,435
Hmm.
869
00:47:58,080 --> 00:47:59,560
I made you breakfast.
870
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:05,896
It's the chocolate one, not spinach.
871
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:07,070
[chuckles]
872
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:08,680
[slurps]
873
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:10,400
Mmm!
874
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:12,432
Maybe you could take a container to work.
875
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:13,795
The other guards might like it.
876
00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:15,200
[sighs and sniffles]
877
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,840
You know what?
I bet the guys will go nuts for it.
878
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,958
You know, you might even get
three new customers.
879
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,396
Yeah. Great. Three. Hmm.
880
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,154
I'll have my own place in no time.
881
00:48:26,240 --> 00:48:29,756
Hey, I told you,
you can stay here as long as you need.
882
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:30,759
[sighs]
883
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:35,118
This ain't big enough for me and my kids.
Plus, your grandmother lives here.
884
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:36,839
Yeah, but she never comes out.
885
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:38,149
[sighs]
886
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:45,750
[chuckles] Listen,
I'm gonna be back around 7:00.
887
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,560
In case maybe you wanna make dinner.
888
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:50,279
[stutters] Not in a blender.
889
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:53,273
And nothing too spicy.
That aggravates Nana's night reflux.
890
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,800
Okay. [sniffles and sighs]
891
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:08,156
[door closes]
892
00:49:08,240 --> 00:49:09,640
[sighs]
893
00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:14,197
[Spanish music playing over speakers]
894
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:27,120
Again.
895
00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:36,594
[laughs] That was so good.
896
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:42,034
Wow. You're in the groove.
I think that was the best class yet.
897
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:44,589
It was maybe top three. At most.
898
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:47,430
[Gloria] Um...
899
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:49,915
We gotta talk.
900
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:52,800
I know. I'm sorry.
901
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:55,759
I didn't know if it was better
to apologize to you after the fact
902
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:57,274
or pretend like it didn't happen.
903
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,113
Uh, I wasn't talking about that.
904
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:04,239
[stutters] No? I mean, me, neither.
What are we talking about?
905
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:05,320
[sighs]
906
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,800
It's this gang shit. It's out of control.
907
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:11,600
And no offense,
but the COs are doing nothing
908
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:13,360
and people are getting really hurt
in here.
909
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:16,000
I wouldn't say we're not doing nothing.
910
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:19,558
We canceled mixed yard
and put Swope in the SHU.
911
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:23,554
That don't matter when C's attacking C.
It's gone intra-block now.
912
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:26,593
I will definitely look into that.
913
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:31,599
And I will talk to the interim warden,
914
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:35,196
even though I'm pretty sure
she doesn't give a flying fuck.
915
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:36,920
Well...
916
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:39,760
you got charm.
917
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:42,910
Use it.
918
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:55,435
[sighs] You know, you're at least 15 years
too old for him.
919
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:57,512
I don't know what you're talking about.
920
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,353
If you ever go into that class again,
921
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:02,592
I'll have Shruti cut out your thyroid
in your sleep.
922
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:07,637
She was one test away
from being an ENT surgeon.
923
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:09,600
Feel me?
924
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:22,430
You need all these books?
925
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:24,876
I didn't know half the words
those lawyers were saying.
926
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:27,759
It was like a scene out of Boston Legal.
927
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,309
And then this prosecutor lady
was coming for me.
928
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:35,390
She tried to paint me
as some revenge monster.
929
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:38,595
Broken by the system, my ass.
930
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:40,279
[sighs]
931
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:42,317
You got good people on your side, too.
932
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,590
You said your lawyer was hella smart.
933
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:48,354
I don't know if that's enough.
934
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:55,150
It was nice to hear all those things
that Mr. Caputo was saying about me.
935
00:51:55,240 --> 00:51:58,597
After all that him and I had been through,
936
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:02,799
for him to step up like that, man...
937
00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:06,709
[sighs] He's a good egg.
938
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,912
- [groans]
- Hey! Are you okay?
939
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,320
[breathing heavily]
940
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:23,593
I gotta tell you something.
941
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:28,080
It's real bad, T.
942
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:30,470
Come on, now. You know you can tell me.
943
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,313
[breathing heavily]
944
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:35,360
I...
945
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:43,669
[cries]
946
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:46,835
[Black Cindy sighs]
947
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:50,920
I got a daughter.
948
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,992
- Oh.
- [cries]
949
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:58,078
[sighs] Look, that's cool.
950
00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:00,599
I mean, how old is she?
951
00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:05,234
Thirteen.
952
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:09,671
She doesn't even know she's my kid.
953
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,237
She thinks she's my sister.
954
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:15,994
Look, that happens. All right?
955
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:19,278
Some people think
that Solange is Beyoncé's daughter.
956
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:21,591
I didn't even tell the dad, neither.
957
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:26,957
Instead, I lied to protect myself.
958
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:34,312
He out there walking around,
no clue what could hit him.
959
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,074
I'm here pretending
like it didn't even happen.
960
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:44,037
Going on in life like...
961
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:46,675
Like nothing.
962
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,316
I'm sorry, T. I'm sorry I lied to you.
963
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:56,040
[inhales sharply] I'm not a good person.
964
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:57,120
No.
965
00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:00,073
- I'm not a good person.
- I know you. All right?
966
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:04,074
There is so much good in you.
You had your reasons.
967
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:07,672
I'm not a good person, T.
968
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:12,591
No. All right? No. No.
969
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:16,235
You are a good egg, too.
970
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:18,312
[crying] I'm not a good person, T.
971
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:23,037
- [knocking at door]
- [exhales]
972
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:26,030
[scoffs] What do you want?
973
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,510
If you'd answer your fucking phone,
I would tell you.
974
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:32,150
I can't fucking find it.
It's probably in a box with my towels.
975
00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:35,597
I'm moving, remember?
You banished me to Missouri.
976
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:37,990
[scoffs] I should've banished you
from opening your mouth,
977
00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:39,776
but I didn't think
I needed to tape that shut.
978
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:41,154
What are you talking about?
979
00:54:41,240 --> 00:54:44,153
I am talking about
being a good employee, Joe!
980
00:54:44,240 --> 00:54:47,756
Toeing the company line
and not fucking the people who pay you.
981
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:51,197
How is taking a bottom-feeding job
not toeing the company line?
982
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:53,636
Jack Pearson personally called me
to ask me
983
00:54:53,720 --> 00:54:58,511
why you were on the defense witness list
for Tasha Jefferson.
984
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:02,389
You are making me look
like a fucking idiot for not firing you.
985
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:03,720
Are you trying to get me fired?
986
00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:07,875
Linda, it's not about you.
987
00:55:09,240 --> 00:55:11,311
I am trying to do the right thing
by that girl.
988
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:14,393
Well, this isn't
about the right thing, Joe.
989
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:17,473
And stop acting
like you're above all this.
990
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:22,954
Stop acting like you can just do
whatever you want without consequences.
991
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:26,634
MCC's dirt is your dirt.
992
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:28,556
You're MCC.
993
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:32,120
Yeah.
994
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:36,678
No. Not anymore.
995
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:39,080
I quit.
996
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:40,160
[scoffs]
997
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:45,350
[sighs]
998
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:47,115
[indistinct chatter]
999
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:50,437
- [Alex laughs]
- Oh, that's right.
1000
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:55,158
Oh, no, I didn't order this.
1001
00:55:55,240 --> 00:55:57,232
Open the book, JJonBenét.
1002
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:04,636
[gasps and laughs]
1003
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:08,351
Yes! Yay! [laughs]
1004
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:12,034
Look who got kickball going.
1005
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:13,839
There must've been divine intervention.
1006
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:16,754
Your D-Block friend
got all the church ladies to sign up.
1007
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:18,559
I told you God is real.
1008
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:20,555
Like in that movie they made
1009
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:23,030
based on the kid's memoir
that turned out to be a hoax.
1010
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:24,315
[sighs]
1011
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:27,512
I feel like I should warn you
that I am not a graceful loser.
1012
00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:35,719
[scoffs] You didn't get kickball.
You got D-Block kickball.
1013
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:37,757
I just offered it to anybody
who wanted to play.
1014
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:39,354
You said I could ask the other girls.
1015
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:43,798
If Barb's bitches are playing,
we gotta have our own team.
1016
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:47,470
Akers, Creech, Chambal, both Amys,
you're joining kickball.
1017
00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:49,153
- Yeah, I call pitcher.
- Damn it!
1018
00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:50,440
Can we change it to dodgeball?
1019
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:53,759
Badison, you're in charge.
1020
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:56,912
We can call it
Badison News Bears. [laughs]
1021
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:57,959
That's stupid.
1022
00:56:57,960 --> 00:56:58,996
Oh.
1023
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,474
Great.
1024
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:06,200
Diamond! Yo, you can be base coach.
1025
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:07,600
For real?
1026
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:13,629
- [indistinct chatter]
- [imitates airplane roaring]
1027
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:40,000
[inhales deeply]
1028
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:42,714
If we're gonna do this,
1029
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:45,478
we gotta be smarter this time.
1030
00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:47,995
["The Lion Sleeps Tonight" playing]
1031
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:56,749
♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪
1032
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,958
♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪
1033
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:06,955
♪ In the jungle, the mightyjungle
The lion sleeps tonight ♪
1034
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:14,713
♪ In the jungle, the quietjungle
The lion sleeps tonight ♪
1035
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:25,759
♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪
1036
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:38,318
♪ Near the village, the peaceful village
The lion sleeps tonight ♪
1037
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:46,153
♪ Near the village, the quiet village
The lion sleeps tonight ♪
1038
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:57,199
♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪