1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,924 [cell door slams] 2 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,051 [theme song playing] 3 00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:58,850 [cell door slams] 4 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:16,785 [cell door slams] 5 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,542 It's bold. I'll give her that. 6 00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:26,711 - Boldly stupid. - [Danilo] Everybody out! 7 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,138 Did I stutter? Get out. 8 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,723 [Young] Go on, out! 9 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,976 You won't get to go home, but you can't stay here. 10 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,146 Reznikov, I said move your ass. 11 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,818 [in guttural voice] Put one foot in front of the other 12 00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:51,736 and step the fuck out. 13 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:04,833 - [gasps] - Let's go, Cathy. Time to get up. 14 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:19,472 [Badison chuckling] Oh, looks like Chatty Cathy ain't so chatty no more, huh? 15 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,478 Where you taking us? A cage match? 16 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:28,260 How do we know this ain't another one of your sick games? 17 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:31,317 Relax. The SHU is closing down. 18 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,195 - What? Why? - New sheriff in town. 19 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,905 What happened to the old sheriff? 20 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,658 - I need to push it all the way in. - [screams] 21 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:42,036 Goddamn motherfuck! 22 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,247 Ah! [exhales deeply] 23 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:46,875 All done. 24 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,336 So is this what you pictured when we started talking babymaking? 25 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:54,132 Well, you weren't not bent over a kitchen island, ass up. 26 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:58,261 You want me to talk to your body for you? Give it encouragement? 27 00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:01,472 Maybe massage the area, huh? 28 00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,600 Joe, I'm not getting pregnant through my ass cheek. 29 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:08,521 I figure it's never too early to show the kid who's good cop around here. 30 00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,774 So that would make me bad cop? 31 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:15,361 Mmm. Make you... firm cop. 32 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:19,032 [chuckling] Because I'm cold and heartless. 33 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:22,660 - Well, you are the new "ice" queen. - Hilarious. 34 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,204 Why are we even doing this 35 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,527 if you don't think I'm gonna be a good mother? [chuckles] 36 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:30,835 Babe, I am balls deep in medical science for you. 37 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:35,131 You think I would be poking that gorgeous ass with needles 38 00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:38,009 if I didn't think you were gonna be an amazing mother? 39 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,974 Come on. Safe... Safe to approach? 40 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,059 Hmm? 41 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:51,722 What's this all about? First-day jitters? Oh, gross. I hate when you try and predict my feelings, but... 42 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,401 yeah. 43 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:59,447 Mmm. Maybe what you need is a Joe Caputo pep talk. 44 00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:04,285 Oh, please. Save it for your 12-year-old mentee who stole my job. 45 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,663 To be fair, you got fired. 46 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,915 And she's 26. 47 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:10,583 Not helping! 48 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,168 [door opens and closes] 49 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:25,306 - The hell is this? - CO Hopper, good morning. 50 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,808 Ad Seg's already at capacity, 51 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:29,227 and your first day on the job, you're closing down the SHU? 52 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:32,480 That is right. We will no longer be using solitary confinement 53 00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:33,815 as a means of discipline. 54 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:38,403 Listen. Over and over, studies conclude that it's cruel and ineffective, 55 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:41,197 and it results in memory loss, suicidal tendencies... 56 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,032 Tamika, we need a means of discipline. 57 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,535 All right? We need the threat of a means of discipline. 58 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:48,121 And incentive programs motivate good behavior 59 00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,872 far more than fear of punishment. 60 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:54,168 Well, if we're not punishing them, then what the hell is the point of prison? 61 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:57,547 Rehabilitation. Or at least it should be. 62 00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,215 Perfect. Perfect. 63 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,259 So why don't we give them gold stars and nut-free snacks while we're at it? 64 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,345 If that's actually a suggestion, Hopper, 65 00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,681 you're welcome to add it to my suggestion box. 66 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:08,849 [chuckles] 67 00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:13,688 You wanna know what I think? I think this is a move. 68 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:18,151 I think it's your way of justifying why they gave you this job. 69 00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:22,780 Excuse me, they didn't give me this job. I got this job. 70 00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:25,074 Yeah, let's go with that. 71 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,577 Not that I have to list my résumé to you, 72 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:30,747 but I've been taking prison management courses for months now without you... 73 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,892 Oh, come on, Tamika! You really think they looked at your night school classes 74 00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:36,419 and thought, "Wow, she's so qualified"? 75 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:41,549 I got years on you, Tamika. Years! Years of real-life experience. 76 00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:44,052 We all know you got this job because... 77 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,350 Because you tick the right boxes. 78 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,771 What? You think I'm some sort of diversity quota hire? 79 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:56,397 You don't? 80 00:05:58,983 --> 00:05:59,983 [scoffs] 81 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:11,621 Federal funding for detention centers like ours is up 20%. 82 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,247 More ICE agents on the streets, 83 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:16,834 plus a growing list of deportable offenses means our beds stay full. 84 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,087 Then we ship 'em out, we bring in even more. 85 00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:23,132 PolyCon charges $150 per day per detainee, 86 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:27,220 which means stocks rise, people feel safer, everybody's happy. 87 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:30,264 This is your new office, by the way. I got you a Nespresso. 88 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:34,811 What's the deal here, Linda? 89 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:38,106 You're treating this gig like it's a reward, 90 00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:41,317 and I can't help feeling it's more of a punishment. 91 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:42,819 Mm, why's that? 92 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:47,407 Maybe because you gave my Max job to an unqualified child? 93 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:48,574 [scoffs] 94 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,870 You say unqualified, I say differently qualified. 95 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,290 Tamika is the right face for the moment. 96 00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:58,793 You got a diversity grant, didn't you? 97 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,462 It was huge. [chuckles] 98 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:06,509 And win-win. I mean, I can't think of a person more suited to run this place. 99 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,970 You obviously don't care what people think, 100 00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:11,472 and you're very unyielding. 101 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,643 - Ice queen? - Hmm, yeah. I was gonna say "warden," 102 00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:17,895 but if that's the title you want, we will make it work. 103 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,856 We're gonna get you a little plaque. [chuckles] 104 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,899 And this is your queendom. 105 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:24,693 Thank you. 106 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:29,991 Here they are. 107 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:31,987 [door closes] It's so quiet. 108 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:36,789 They are much more docile, compared to Max. 109 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:41,377 Our red uniforms are for Level Two, people with felony convictions, etcetera. 110 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,839 Orange are our Level Ones, our non-criminals. 111 00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:47,175 So they're in orange, but they're not criminals? 112 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:51,220 Well, they are criminals. They're here, right? 113 00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:54,474 - They came to our country illegally. - That's exactly right, Carlos. 114 00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:57,810 Carlos Litvack, Natalie Figueroa, our new warden. 115 00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:00,938 Mr. Litvack is head of ICE here at PolyCon Detention. 116 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,566 ICE handles the processing, the legal, the deportation. 117 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,902 And PolyCon handles the housing and the feeding. 118 00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:10,907 - What's with the bird? - [Linda] Cute, right? 119 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,576 Flew in here a few days ago. 120 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:17,038 Keeps the ladies entertained, so we, uh, decided not to deport it. 121 00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:17,955 [both laugh] 122 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,208 [Fig] Do any of them speak English? 123 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:24,962 Some, though most favor Español. 124 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:30,510 Majority are from Mexico, followed by El Salvador, Honduras, Guatemala. 125 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:31,969 Then we have your others. 126 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:36,349 Your, uh, Haitians, your Jamaicans, general Africans. 127 00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:39,769 Of course, there's your Asian nerds, your cool Asians. 128 00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,187 But beware of the Plastics. 129 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,144 That was a Mean Girls joke. 130 00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:48,236 So it's like the It's a Small World ride, 131 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:53,783 but minus the joy and the singing. And the line is just as long. 132 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,994 Some do-gooder lawyer-advocate types told the detainees 133 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:59,539 who were working in the kitchen that they don't get paid 134 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:02,041 and it doesn't help their case, so they quit. 135 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,335 Looks like you have your first task. 136 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:08,256 Luckily, America's cheapest labor force is just down the hill. [chuckles] 137 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:23,646 This is so unfair! This shit should be legit a crime. 138 00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:26,566 To have a dick like that. 139 00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:28,609 [sniffles] 140 00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:32,405 He had a Make-A-Wish dick, and he wanted to take me to LA. 141 00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:38,953 [sighs] I could've been a wifey or a trophy wife or a Real Housewife. 142 00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,746 [sobs softly] 143 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,958 All I ever wanted to be was anything with the word "wife" in it, you know? 144 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:48,212 But no! I had to say no. 145 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:53,217 And go to that stupid fucking Indigo club and get scooped up with all these people. 146 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,428 - No offense. - None taken. 147 00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:58,889 What I don't understand is how you even got into that club without ID. 148 00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:05,354 Hello? Look at me. I don't need an ID to get into places. 149 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,398 That's kinda like my thing. 150 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:11,485 She kinda looks like that girl from Glee but with sharper lines, you know? 151 00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:14,280 You know how hard it is to get an ID after prison? 152 00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:17,241 - Sorry, I'm not a criminal. - What is your fucking problem? 153 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:20,036 People like you are the reason this is so hard for the rest of us. 154 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:24,040 Bitch, I was born here. I committed my crime legally. 155 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,002 Ugh! 156 00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:29,587 Thank God you're in here. 157 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,965 You know what I mean. This shit's brutal. 158 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:38,971 I need to get in touch with someone so that I can prove that I was born here. 159 00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:44,101 - I'm gonna ask for my phone call. - You don't get a phone call. 160 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,563 [scoffs] But there are phones right there. 161 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,357 You don't get a free call. 162 00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:53,444 You gotta pay to set up an account, and you gotta pay per minute. 163 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,488 Okay, well, fuck that. 164 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:58,282 When I get assigned my lawyer, that's the first thing I'm gonna do. 165 00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,784 You don't get a lawyer. 166 00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:00,867 [scoffs] 167 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,663 What? This is America. 168 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,206 Not in here. 169 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:10,127 It looks like a prison, it smells like a prison, 170 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,754 but it's not a prison. 171 00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:13,713 It's worse. 172 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:19,303 Okay, I get that you're all Sally Sadface because you're an illegal and everything, 173 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,513 but that's just not me. 174 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,140 I'm not an illegal. 175 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,894 [scoffs] Sorry. "Undocumented" or whatever. 176 00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:28,979 But if we work together, 177 00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:31,524 we can get in touch with someone on the outside. 178 00:11:32,274 --> 00:11:34,193 Oh, wait, what about your boyfriend? 179 00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:36,153 It's over. 180 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,658 [rock music playing] 181 00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:43,494 ♪ We're all gonna die! ♪ 182 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:49,667 ♪ Now! ♪ 183 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,797 [all cheering] 184 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,549 Listen up, arrimados! 185 00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:59,218 [in Spanish] Before the police come, 186 00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,804 let's not forget why we came here tonight. 187 00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:06,142 [in English] This party may be illegal, but that woman right there is not! 188 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:17,695 [in Spanish] Diablo, Mr. Sexy Romantic, made us throw you this party. 189 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:19,530 [speaking Spanish] 190 00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:23,033 Congratulations on the green card, Blanca! 191 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,368 [all cheering] 192 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,372 Tell us how it feels. 193 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:30,999 [in English] Really? 194 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:35,837 [speaking Spanish] 195 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:36,880 [Blanca] Um... 196 00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:41,427 [in Spanish] Well, it feels... 197 00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:45,723 - [in English] Very good! - [all cheering] 198 00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:51,187 [in Spanish] And, like, a relief. 199 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:55,483 And I know this is a bit ridiculous, but... 200 00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,735 back in Santo Domingo, 201 00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:59,779 my mom and dad would argue a lot... 202 00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:03,240 and our place was tiny, we had two rooms, there was nowhere to go. 203 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:09,413 And I remember that song from the show, Perfect Strangers. 204 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,332 [all laughing] 205 00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:13,334 You know, with Balki and Larry? 206 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:20,216 And Balki would have that "America or Burst" sign, and I thought, 207 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:28,057 "Wow, that country looks amazing. Anything is possible there." 208 00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:30,226 And now I'm here. 209 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:34,021 [in English] All I had to do was change a bunch of adult diapers... 210 00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:40,027 [in Spanish] fill out all the paperwork, wait 12 years, and then... 211 00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:43,113 [in English] Welcome to America! 212 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,824 - [all cheer] - [guitar riff plays] 213 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:53,457 [in Spanish] But none of that matters. 214 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:56,126 [in English] I love this country... 215 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,879 [in Spanish] because it gave me Diablo. 216 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,423 - [crowd] Aw! - [Weevil] Whoa! 217 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,634 Say something less fucking corny! 218 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:05,553 Shut up, buttface! 219 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,100 [in English] I love you. 220 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:15,145 [in Spanish] Wait, wait, wait. You love me? 221 00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:18,399 [in English] Yeah, I do. 222 00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:19,775 [guitar playing] 223 00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:26,073 [in Spanish] Baby, I love you, too. 224 00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,009 [in English] I've been wanting to tell you for so long, 225 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:30,035 [in Spanish] but you're so intimidating. 226 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,204 [in English] And now that you've said it, 227 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,706 [in Spanish] I can say it. 228 00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:36,542 [in English] Baby, I love you so much. 229 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:39,503 [in Spanish] You make me so horny when you're this cheesy. 230 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:57,855 Dude, you've got to stop taking other people's puddings. 231 00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:03,152 Why? There is a long history in this country of pudding taking, 232 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:06,363 and it divides along chocolate and vanilla lines. 233 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:11,619 Also, butterscotch. That's the Natives. 234 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:13,954 And that's why I... 235 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,839 - [inmate] God damn it! - ...eat this pudding. 236 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:18,417 All right, listen. 237 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:22,129 All it's doing at this point is pissing off the senior citizens. 238 00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:23,589 Let me ask you a question. 239 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,550 What is it you really want? 240 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,093 Ice cream. And justice. 241 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:37,937 It's not fair that because Cindy lied, Taystee has to be in prison now forever? 242 00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:41,148 For ever ever? Yes. 243 00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:42,733 And it can't even be fixed, 244 00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:45,235 because they won't even be in the same room together. 245 00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:49,406 Unless I can get them in the same room together. 246 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,508 Wait. But they hate each other. 247 00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:56,497 Unless I can get two people who hate each other in the same room. 248 00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:59,333 But why would two people who hate each other be in the same... 249 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:01,043 Unless... No. 250 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,212 Well, they could... No, that will never work. 251 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:09,969 We gotta come up with a real, practical, real-world example for this. 252 00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:14,306 - I got it! I got it. I got it. - What? 253 00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,101 The Parent Trap. 254 00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:20,062 Ooh. Like when you tell people that you're pregnant, 255 00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:23,899 and then your friend's stepdad gives you money for an abortion you don't need? 256 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,819 I never saw the remake. 257 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,280 - A goddamn roll of tinfoil? - [laughs] 258 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,908 Piper, you're amazing. 259 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:38,288 All I did was look up "DIY sensory activities budget." 260 00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:40,165 I can send you all links, if you'd like? 261 00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:43,043 Please don't. I can't research baby shit anymore. 262 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:46,727 Yesterday, I went online to buy a baby spoon, and six hours later, I'm in a Google deep-dive 263 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,094 about how leaching plastics are gonna kill us all. 264 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:56,097 So can we talk about anything else? Please. [Samantha] Okay. All right. All right. Piper, you're up. 265 00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,059 How'd the sexy pics go over with your wife? 266 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,602 - [Kiki] Oh, yes. - Good! 267 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,147 Great. She loved 'em. 268 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:07,317 It's amazing how a little nip can bridge the gap between time and space. 269 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,988 - Enjoy those while those last. - Wait. Do those get ruined, too? 270 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,614 Nothing doesn't get ruined. 271 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,658 Oh, my God. I'm gonna pee myself. 272 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:17,036 FYI, that gets ruined the most. 273 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,119 Oh! 274 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:21,040 Uh, I can hold her while you go to the bathroom. 275 00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:24,710 Are you sure? I haven't day-peed alone in a month! 276 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,087 Thank you. Thank you. 277 00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:31,050 [knocking at door] 278 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:34,678 - Uh, go. I can keep an eye. - [Maia] All right, then. 279 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:35,929 [Kiki] Pass the baby. 280 00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:40,184 [knocking continues] 281 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,437 Ms. Chapman. 282 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,523 Oh, what's going on here? 283 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,151 Are we baking some babies? 284 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,951 You see that? Vause is dealing. 285 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:04,124 Doubt it. With the shit going down lately? Her dumb ass is smarter than that. 286 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,127 Probably gunnin' for some curry love. 287 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:11,298 No, I saw something. I'm gonna check it out. 288 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:23,352 - What the fuck, Vause? What are you doing? - You flushing your drugs, inmate? 289 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,775 Vause, I know what you're up to. 290 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,486 You wanna save yourself some trouble? 291 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:35,614 Tell me where you're getting the drugs from. Who's your source? 292 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:39,618 - Or? - Or... 293 00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:42,871 I'll have 'em haul your ass down to solitary. 294 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,873 - Okay. All right, all right. Yeah. - Yeah. 295 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:48,210 Let's chill, everybody. New warden closed the SHU, 296 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:51,880 plus there's no way for us to know what we didn't actually see. 297 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,091 Yeah. It was a bloody tampon. 298 00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:56,802 See? Just a tamp. 299 00:18:58,053 --> 00:19:00,639 You think you've got this place all figured out, huh? 300 00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:03,475 Well, I've got a new warden to impress, so from now on, 301 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,769 you're getting nothing in or out of this cell. 302 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,856 Whoever you're selling for, better let 'em know you're burnt. 303 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:13,694 - Exactly. - Also, you should never flush tampons. 304 00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:15,362 The whole pipe will back up on you. 305 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:37,342 [Pennsatucky] Hi, T! It's Suzanne. And you are courageously invited to the... 306 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:41,138 - What the fuck? - ...library for a meeting of the... 307 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,849 - Uh, the... - Give me that. 308 00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:51,690 First of all, this don't say "courageously," it says "cordially." 309 00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,611 And what's Suzanne want me in the library for, anyway? 310 00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:59,239 I don't know. Maybe she misses you. 311 00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:04,036 I mean, if you ask me, I don't get it. Was your friendship even that great? 312 00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:06,914 Because in my experience, 313 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:10,459 the good memories from the past are never as good as we remember them, 314 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,562 and then the bad ones are worse than we remember them, 315 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:15,589 but our minds, they play these games so we don't kill ourselves. 316 00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,424 And we just keep doing shit. 317 00:20:18,508 --> 00:20:21,929 Suzanne wants to talk to me so bad, why don't she come and do it herself? 318 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,263 Have you met her? 319 00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:24,848 She's weird. 320 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:28,063 But have you met you? 'Cause you're terrifying. 321 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:35,817 So why don't you just come to the library, and you go down that wormhold? 322 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:39,613 - It's "wormhole." - No. No, it's not! 323 00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:42,574 No, it's not. I'm trying something new. 324 00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:49,724 I understand, but did you have to surprise me like that? 325 00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:54,378 Yes, I did. Did you forget, Ms. Chapman? You are on probation. 326 00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:56,546 My job is rolling up on people. 327 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:59,466 How else can I catch them violating or doing drugs 328 00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:01,009 or running a baby fight club? 329 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,178 I promise you I'm not running a baby fight club. 330 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:05,639 I know. I'm just being funny. 331 00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:08,725 Ooh! Snickerdoodle. May I? 332 00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,812 Please. They don't eat flour. 333 00:21:11,895 --> 00:21:12,896 What? 334 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:16,358 Well, let me tell you what's not funny. 335 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,610 It's when I rolled up to the restaurant 336 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:21,947 that my newest supervisee told me that she worked at, 337 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:25,951 only to be informed that you were fired last week. 338 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,122 I guess I was feeling so badly about being fired, 339 00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:33,709 I didn't want to tell you that I had been fired. 340 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:34,792 I'm sorry. 341 00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:40,215 Okay, you need to tell me immediately when there's a change of employment. 342 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,259 So, now, do you have a new job? 343 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,344 Here. Nannying for my niece. 344 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,013 And are they paying you? 345 00:21:46,596 --> 00:21:48,515 In room and board and baby hugs. 346 00:21:48,598 --> 00:21:51,476 [chuckling] Don't be cute. Only I get to do that. 347 00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:55,689 Will they be giving you a W-2 for your taxes at the end of the year? 348 00:21:55,772 --> 00:21:58,942 - I don't think so. - Yeah, so that's not a job, okay? 349 00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,152 That's a favor. 350 00:22:00,902 --> 00:22:03,030 Let me keep you on track, Ms. Chapman, okay? 351 00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:07,743 We have a rapport, but I can issue a warrant for your arrest if need be. 352 00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:11,955 So get a real job. Like, today. 353 00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:21,506 Hey. The other ladies left because they heard the um, former-felon thing. 354 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:24,176 But, uh, listen, we are here for you. 355 00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:27,471 Literally no one is here for me. 356 00:22:27,804 --> 00:22:30,766 Which must be hard to understand because you're not a mom, 357 00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:32,976 but at the end of the day, we're just... 358 00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:36,229 we're just not comfortable. I mean, I am cool with you. 359 00:22:36,313 --> 00:22:38,565 But this one... Judgmental. 360 00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:40,525 So I totally get it, though. 361 00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:44,529 Getting back on your feet post-prison must be so hard. 362 00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:46,823 And we support you. 363 00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:51,203 Sending good vibes, okay? Okay. 364 00:22:53,997 --> 00:22:57,876 Damn. That... that was cold. 365 00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:02,464 Hey, Hellman. 366 00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:05,050 Boo! [laughs] 367 00:23:05,258 --> 00:23:07,636 Does this bother you? Doesn't this bother you, huh? 368 00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:10,847 - Does this bother you? - The fuck are you doing, Murphy? 369 00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:14,351 Shit. Someone's not in the mood. 370 00:23:14,434 --> 00:23:15,477 Not today. 371 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,437 Oh, that's too bad. 372 00:23:18,355 --> 00:23:20,565 'Cause I had a lot of time to think in the SHU. 373 00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:21,858 Oh, yeah? 374 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,611 We gotta talk about Vause. 375 00:23:25,153 --> 00:23:26,753 Thought it was Jefferson you'd be after. 376 00:23:26,780 --> 00:23:28,949 [chuckling] Jefferson never would have fucked with me 377 00:23:29,032 --> 00:23:30,158 if Vause hadn't set me up. 378 00:23:30,992 --> 00:23:33,036 So you're too scared to beef with Jefferson? 379 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,204 [chuckling] 380 00:23:34,287 --> 00:23:37,416 I'm gonna deal with that crazy nightmare in my own good time. 381 00:23:37,499 --> 00:23:39,334 After we deal with Vause. 382 00:23:40,335 --> 00:23:42,379 Hey, I'm not opposed. 383 00:23:42,462 --> 00:23:45,632 That cunt flushed 1,500 bucks worth of salt down the crapper today. 384 00:23:45,715 --> 00:23:47,759 [chuckles] Oh. Exactly. 385 00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:52,639 So you should get that cunt transferred. 386 00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:54,683 Someplace wicked far away 387 00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:58,103 where she'll never get to see her lesbo wife again. 388 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,731 That's actually not bad. 389 00:24:09,739 --> 00:24:13,034 [Maritza] I need to figure out a way to get my birth certificate. 390 00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:15,370 Show these motherfuckers I don't belong here. 391 00:24:16,204 --> 00:24:21,626 [gasps] OMG! Look! Look, it's a turtledove! 392 00:24:22,919 --> 00:24:23,962 [Maritza gasps] 393 00:24:24,379 --> 00:24:30,635 It's... It's a sign! Of... Of life or hope or fuckin' keep on trying or something. 394 00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:35,307 It's a sign you can get shit on at any moment, even indoors. 395 00:24:35,390 --> 00:24:39,811 [stammers] I need to call... I gotta call Daisy or my sister or my mom. 396 00:24:41,688 --> 00:24:43,688 As soon as I figure out one of their phone numbers. 397 00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:47,360 You don't know anyone's numbers? Not even your mother's? 398 00:24:48,069 --> 00:24:49,988 I'm young, remember? 399 00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:52,115 [scoffing] 400 00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:55,011 Plus, I don't really have a great relationship with my mom. 401 00:24:55,035 --> 00:24:57,037 And my mom doesn't have a great relationship 402 00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:58,497 with paying the phone bill. 403 00:24:58,580 --> 00:25:03,126 So the only numbers I remember are 911 or ones with songs. 404 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:05,337 Like, for pizzas and shit. 405 00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:08,048 [gasps] 406 00:25:08,131 --> 00:25:10,842 Oh, my God. I know who we should call. 407 00:25:11,134 --> 00:25:13,261 - 1-800-Get-Sprung! - Gross. 408 00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:17,015 No, no. Seriously. You haven't heard of that lawyer, Kay Sprung? 409 00:25:17,599 --> 00:25:20,810 ♪ DUI at night got you moaning? ♪ 410 00:25:20,894 --> 00:25:25,232 ♪ Call Kay Sprung And get off in the morning ♪ 411 00:25:25,649 --> 00:25:27,567 - You're sure that's for a lawyer? - Yes! 412 00:25:27,651 --> 00:25:31,279 Because I slept with someone in their legal office. And... 413 00:25:32,739 --> 00:25:35,534 it's a 1-800 number, so it's free. 414 00:25:37,035 --> 00:25:40,622 Why don't you just get this? Nothing here is free. 415 00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:42,749 Not even a 1-800 number. 416 00:25:43,333 --> 00:25:47,128 You need to buy a phone card from the machine. With money. 417 00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:49,130 Do you have any money? 418 00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:50,714 No. 419 00:25:52,842 --> 00:25:54,177 Do you have any money? 420 00:25:58,098 --> 00:25:59,098 Yes. 421 00:26:00,433 --> 00:26:02,894 I have $30 left from what came from down the hill. 422 00:26:03,728 --> 00:26:07,607 So come on! A lawyer could help both of us. 423 00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:17,867 Yeah! See? The dove was a sign. The dove was a sign. 424 00:26:18,827 --> 00:26:21,037 Nine... What? "Service needed. Please call." 425 00:26:24,958 --> 00:26:27,335 [in Spanish] Machine of the Devil! 426 00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:29,170 [in English] Fuck your mother on the altar! 427 00:26:29,546 --> 00:26:30,672 [Maritza speaking Spanish] 428 00:26:30,755 --> 00:26:32,191 [in Spanish] Everything went to shit! 429 00:26:32,215 --> 00:26:34,175 How so? Why don't you try it again? 430 00:26:35,552 --> 00:26:37,470 [in English] So it's good? Look at it. 431 00:26:37,554 --> 00:26:39,234 [in Spanish] Sancocho tastes better to me. 432 00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:41,558 Yes. It's good. 433 00:26:42,934 --> 00:26:45,145 Not as good as my mother's Olla soup, but... 434 00:26:45,228 --> 00:26:47,428 - [Blanca gasps] - [in English]...you're getting there. 435 00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:49,899 [kisses] 436 00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:52,902 [woman] Bianca? Bianca! 437 00:26:52,986 --> 00:26:55,322 [in Spanish] You should go. She's home. 438 00:26:56,489 --> 00:26:57,616 [woman] Bianca! 439 00:26:59,034 --> 00:27:00,827 Oh, fuck. 440 00:27:04,789 --> 00:27:06,166 [in English] What happened? 441 00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:08,752 I went grocery shopping. What does it look like? 442 00:27:08,835 --> 00:27:11,838 Now, come and help me unload. What is he doing here? 443 00:27:11,921 --> 00:27:14,007 Never mind him. What happened to the car? 444 00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:16,801 Oh! I was driving along, 445 00:27:16,885 --> 00:27:20,305 and this mailman runs right out of nowhere and right into my car. 446 00:27:20,388 --> 00:27:22,140 You mean his truck ran into your car? 447 00:27:22,223 --> 00:27:27,646 No, he did. He hit my car with his body. Right out of nowhere, I tell ya! 448 00:27:28,021 --> 00:27:29,105 [in Spanish] My God. 449 00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:32,275 I knew it was too soon for the old bat to start driving again! 450 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:36,154 [in English] Okay, what happened to him? Did the ambulance come and get him? 451 00:27:36,237 --> 00:27:38,198 How am I supposed to know? 452 00:27:38,281 --> 00:27:42,118 I left before they could say it was my fault. It was clearly his. 453 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:44,162 [in Spanish] We have to call the cops. 454 00:27:44,245 --> 00:27:47,707 - [in English] No. No, no, no, no. - Mi amor, I don't know about this. 455 00:27:47,791 --> 00:27:49,310 [in Spanish] You could get into trouble... 456 00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:51,127 So could she! Huh? 457 00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:53,755 And if she goes, I lose my job and... 458 00:27:53,838 --> 00:27:56,758 [in English] Bianca, I've told you so many times, speaka the English. 459 00:27:57,092 --> 00:27:59,761 [in Spanish] You're sure about this, my love? 460 00:27:59,844 --> 00:28:03,807 Yes. She's a fucking cunt, but she's my fucking cunt. 461 00:28:03,890 --> 00:28:06,893 [in English] Stop watching me and help me unload! 462 00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:10,855 I got these 12 for a dollar. 463 00:28:10,939 --> 00:28:13,233 If you're nice to me, maybe I'll give you one. 464 00:28:15,318 --> 00:28:18,697 You know, go. I'll... I'll call you later. It'll be fine. 465 00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:20,782 Yeah. Scram, buster! 466 00:28:36,339 --> 00:28:40,135 And then in the legend, I put, "D is for Diarrhea." 467 00:28:40,927 --> 00:28:46,975 Tell me, did you write down every single thing 468 00:28:47,058 --> 00:28:49,978 that happened while I was gone? 469 00:28:50,061 --> 00:28:53,523 No, I just wrote down three things that stood out from every day, 470 00:28:53,606 --> 00:28:55,108 so they wouldn't all meld together. 471 00:28:55,191 --> 00:28:59,320 [gasping] Oh. Did you hear there were two murders and one OD? 472 00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:01,698 But rumor is that was a murder, too. 473 00:29:01,781 --> 00:29:05,618 Reznikov, new work assignment. They want you to run a kitchen. 474 00:29:05,702 --> 00:29:08,747 Pick four inmates to help you and give me the list by tomorrow. 475 00:29:08,830 --> 00:29:09,831 No. 476 00:29:09,914 --> 00:29:12,625 That wasn't an invitation, inmate. That was an order. 477 00:29:12,709 --> 00:29:15,503 I'll say it again. No. 478 00:29:15,795 --> 00:29:19,174 Dwight, please keep reading from your boring book. 479 00:29:19,257 --> 00:29:21,384 Maybe that will drive her away. 480 00:29:22,051 --> 00:29:24,721 Here's from a section I called "Wonderings." 481 00:29:25,054 --> 00:29:28,975 "What day is it in Stevie Wonder's song, 'I Just Called to Say I Love You'? 482 00:29:29,058 --> 00:29:31,311 We know it's not New Year's Day. We know it's not..." 483 00:29:31,394 --> 00:29:33,646 I don't understand. Everyone wants the kitchen gig. 484 00:29:33,730 --> 00:29:36,107 - I thought that was your whole thing? - Not anymore. 485 00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:39,903 Oh, and Thursday's memory was my grandmother's Vicks VapoRub. 486 00:29:39,986 --> 00:29:40,904 Hmm. 487 00:29:40,987 --> 00:29:44,449 I'm not the only inmate with experience running a kitchen. 488 00:29:45,742 --> 00:29:47,494 You should ask Gloria. 489 00:29:48,328 --> 00:29:50,288 [Ginger] Gloria who? 490 00:29:52,081 --> 00:29:53,166 Mendoza. 491 00:29:55,585 --> 00:29:56,753 Suit yourself. 492 00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:03,652 [Black Cindy] I don't understand. 493 00:30:03,676 --> 00:30:06,179 The new Outlander season ain't even out yet. 494 00:30:06,262 --> 00:30:08,932 [gasping] Oh! Wait. You went to the Dark Web, huh? 495 00:30:09,015 --> 00:30:12,519 Mmm. I heard all about the Dark Web on Black Twitter. 496 00:30:15,980 --> 00:30:17,065 [chuckles] 497 00:30:17,982 --> 00:30:19,776 Well, well... 498 00:30:21,152 --> 00:30:22,862 The fuck is this? 499 00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:25,156 Parent trapped! 500 00:30:25,448 --> 00:30:27,534 [Black Cindy] The hell are you doing, Suzanne? 501 00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:32,163 This is your chance to make everything better. 502 00:30:32,247 --> 00:30:33,248 Now... 503 00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:35,792 commence! 504 00:30:39,546 --> 00:30:40,922 "Commence," huh? 505 00:30:43,758 --> 00:30:44,758 [scoffs] 506 00:30:48,304 --> 00:30:49,304 [groans] 507 00:30:52,225 --> 00:30:53,268 [scoffs] 508 00:30:53,977 --> 00:30:56,896 Taystee, I tried to make it right. You gotta know I did. 509 00:30:56,980 --> 00:30:59,041 You gotta know I did. I went and talked to the lawyer, 510 00:30:59,065 --> 00:31:00,668 - but it was too late... - Taystee, don't go. 511 00:31:00,692 --> 00:31:02,944 Suzanne, I will throw you across this fucking room. 512 00:31:03,027 --> 00:31:04,153 Hear me out. 513 00:31:06,114 --> 00:31:07,907 All I want is for us to be friends again. 514 00:31:07,991 --> 00:31:09,367 No! I know you're gonna say, 515 00:31:09,450 --> 00:31:14,247 "No, no, that friend ship has sailed," but I need us to fix this. 516 00:31:14,330 --> 00:31:16,833 - What do you want us to do? - I don't know! 517 00:31:17,166 --> 00:31:19,544 Make your own justice. 518 00:31:20,211 --> 00:31:21,796 [Pennsatucky] I know what I would do. 519 00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:23,631 Beat her ass. 520 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,012 [Black Cindy] Go for it. 521 00:31:32,181 --> 00:31:33,182 Beat me up. 522 00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:37,103 I deserve it. 523 00:31:39,147 --> 00:31:40,481 That's what you want, huh? 524 00:31:52,201 --> 00:31:53,244 [grunts] 525 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,124 [chuckles] 526 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,211 Fuck you. 527 00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,007 [Black Cindy sobs] 528 00:32:07,717 --> 00:32:08,718 [sobbing] Taystee... 529 00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:18,561 Get your last look at Morticia, 530 00:32:18,645 --> 00:32:22,023 'cause we're about to say bye-bye-bye to her creepy ass, thanks to me. 531 00:32:22,106 --> 00:32:23,399 What'd you do? 532 00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:27,612 That's for me to know and you to witness as my plan slowly unfolds. 533 00:32:28,279 --> 00:32:32,450 Or maybe you won't see anything at all! [laughs] 534 00:32:33,034 --> 00:32:35,453 All you need to know is that bitch is going down. 535 00:32:36,829 --> 00:32:38,164 What'd you say? 536 00:32:40,041 --> 00:32:42,961 Oh, no. I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about someone else. 537 00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:44,712 That's what I thought. 538 00:32:48,466 --> 00:32:51,803 See? We cool. That's my Taystee girl right there! 539 00:32:57,892 --> 00:32:59,352 [inmates clamoring] 540 00:33:03,314 --> 00:33:05,400 Stop! Jefferson, stop! 541 00:33:05,483 --> 00:33:08,444 10-33! Need help down here! 10-33! 542 00:33:11,114 --> 00:33:13,658 Taystee, let go! Let go! 543 00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:18,997 No! Shit! 544 00:33:33,177 --> 00:33:36,180 Shut it down! Fight's over! Shut it down! 545 00:33:40,476 --> 00:33:42,186 [panting] 546 00:33:42,770 --> 00:33:44,490 Hopper, what do you want me to do with them? 547 00:33:44,897 --> 00:33:46,524 Well, we can't put 'em in SHU. 548 00:33:47,483 --> 00:33:48,568 I don't know, Warden. 549 00:33:48,651 --> 00:33:51,320 What do they say to do about this situation in night school? 550 00:33:51,571 --> 00:33:52,571 Uh... 551 00:33:53,448 --> 00:33:54,866 We could, um... 552 00:33:55,658 --> 00:33:56,658 Uh... 553 00:33:57,076 --> 00:34:00,204 [scoffs] All right, lock them in separate cells, alone. 554 00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:03,458 Double up the others if you have to, and we'll figure it out from there. 555 00:34:04,417 --> 00:34:05,460 [Alvarez] Move! 556 00:34:14,260 --> 00:34:15,970 Hi! You're so pretty! 557 00:34:16,596 --> 00:34:19,557 Anyway, listen. My friend has money in her account, 558 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,310 but the kiosk is broken and there aren't any more phone cards, 559 00:34:22,393 --> 00:34:23,978 - so... - Wait. Wait. Um... 560 00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:25,521 [in Spanish] Do you speak Spanish? 561 00:34:25,772 --> 00:34:28,107 [in French] Uh, perhaps French? 562 00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:30,068 [in English] English? 563 00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:33,738 [in Bengali] Yes, but you'll never know that! 564 00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:37,075 Leave me alone, you rogue thieves. 565 00:34:37,158 --> 00:34:38,868 - [in English] Oh! Ugh! - [Blanca sighs] 566 00:34:38,951 --> 00:34:42,038 Okay. Is it rude to wish that more people in here spoke English? 567 00:34:42,121 --> 00:34:45,458 - I mean, what the fuck? - [in Twi] Yes, it is very rude. 568 00:34:46,125 --> 00:34:49,445 [in English] Oh. Hello. I could not help but listen in on your conversation earlier. 569 00:34:50,546 --> 00:34:52,632 See, that's sort of my thing. 570 00:34:53,424 --> 00:34:56,719 Here's my phone card on which I have $12 remaining. 571 00:34:56,803 --> 00:34:58,679 When the machine is working again, 572 00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:01,974 I expect a transfer of $30 from the wild one's account. 573 00:35:02,058 --> 00:35:03,434 That's a total rip-off. 574 00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:07,438 Yes, but I don't really know you. It's $12 plus the risk I'm assuming. 575 00:35:07,814 --> 00:35:09,190 - Deal. - No deal. 576 00:35:09,273 --> 00:35:12,443 Dude, it's $5 a minute. It takes three minutes to connect. 577 00:35:12,527 --> 00:35:14,112 Okay. All we need is two minutes. 578 00:35:14,487 --> 00:35:16,572 - [Blanca] That's all my money. - Thank you. 579 00:35:17,573 --> 00:35:18,407 Uh, your name again? 580 00:35:18,491 --> 00:35:21,994 Efua Onagbeboma. Sorry, I do not shake hands. 581 00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:23,496 Okay. It's, like, a cultural thing. 582 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:25,123 Germophobe. 583 00:35:25,456 --> 00:35:26,456 Right. 584 00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:30,795 Okay. 585 00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:33,547 Hi! 586 00:35:34,090 --> 00:35:36,175 Uh, yes. Can I please speak... No, no, no! 587 00:35:37,093 --> 00:35:38,803 This fucking bitch put me on hold. 588 00:35:39,846 --> 00:35:40,930 Good day. 589 00:35:41,472 --> 00:35:44,267 Yes. May I please speak to Jason the paralegal? 590 00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:48,771 Yes, Jason. The one with the face and the cute... 591 00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:50,857 Fuck! This bitch put me on hold... 592 00:35:51,649 --> 00:35:53,860 Jason! Hi! 593 00:35:54,819 --> 00:35:56,179 Yeah, it's Maritza. Maritza Ramos. 594 00:35:59,365 --> 00:36:01,367 [stammering] We met at the funeral. 595 00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:06,497 Y... Yeah, you know, the club? The one with the, um, afterlife theme? 596 00:36:08,916 --> 00:36:11,356 You said I was the first to do the wheelbarrow thing with you. 597 00:36:12,211 --> 00:36:13,462 Okay, listen. So I... 598 00:36:14,755 --> 00:36:16,090 I need a lawyer. 599 00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:19,886 I'm an American citizen, and I've been detained by ICE. And... 600 00:36:21,345 --> 00:36:22,346 The fuck? 601 00:36:24,390 --> 00:36:26,517 Hello? What the fuck just happened? 602 00:36:26,893 --> 00:36:28,519 The card is spent? 603 00:36:30,771 --> 00:36:32,940 - Oh, my God. - [Blanca] Unbelievable! 604 00:36:33,399 --> 00:36:35,776 Blanca, wait! Where are you going? 605 00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:37,153 Nowhere. 606 00:36:37,236 --> 00:36:39,113 'Cause there's nowhere to fucking go 607 00:36:39,197 --> 00:36:42,575 and no one to fucking call, you stupid, dumb, Colombian Barbie. 608 00:36:43,784 --> 00:36:46,245 Okay. One, I'm Colombian-American. 609 00:36:46,329 --> 00:36:48,915 And two, what does my hotness have to do with this? 610 00:36:48,998 --> 00:36:50,833 - [scoffs] - Okay. Listen, listen. 611 00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:54,754 We have to stay positive. 612 00:36:55,421 --> 00:36:57,882 Okay? T... Think about our bird of hope! 613 00:36:57,965 --> 00:37:00,760 You wasted our last fucking opportunity. 614 00:37:01,135 --> 00:37:03,554 Just leave me alone. Okay? 615 00:37:04,263 --> 00:37:07,850 I can't believe, of all people, that you're giving up! 616 00:37:08,226 --> 00:37:11,229 You are the stankass who pissed herself back at camp 617 00:37:11,312 --> 00:37:12,980 so the guards wouldn't touch you. 618 00:37:13,397 --> 00:37:15,358 Bitch, you stood on tables. 619 00:37:16,943 --> 00:37:18,402 That's not who I am anymore. 620 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:20,613 I already had nothing, 621 00:37:21,197 --> 00:37:25,201 and now I have less than nothing because of you, dumbass. 622 00:37:25,284 --> 00:37:27,995 Don't blame me because your boyfriend abandoned you. 623 00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:29,497 At least I'm trying! 624 00:37:29,580 --> 00:37:31,916 Well, stop! Stop trying! 625 00:37:32,667 --> 00:37:34,085 Stop hoping. 626 00:37:34,627 --> 00:37:38,172 Because look around you. Nobody is coming for us. 627 00:37:39,465 --> 00:37:42,301 And it's not a fucking dove, you fucking idiot! 628 00:37:42,385 --> 00:37:43,761 It's a pigeon. 629 00:37:44,095 --> 00:37:46,681 Okay. Pigeon, dove... It's the same fucking thing! 630 00:37:46,764 --> 00:37:49,308 No, it's not. 631 00:37:50,559 --> 00:37:53,062 Nobody gives a fuck about pigeons. 632 00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:10,496 [phone line ringing] 633 00:38:12,498 --> 00:38:13,666 [phone ringing] 634 00:38:19,088 --> 00:38:20,840 - Hello? - Hello. 635 00:38:20,923 --> 00:38:22,550 [in Spanish] Baby? Baby, it's me. 636 00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:24,302 Blanca? 637 00:38:26,804 --> 00:38:31,225 Oh, my God! I'm so relieved to hear you. 638 00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:34,353 What happened? Why haven't you called? I don't understand. 639 00:38:34,437 --> 00:38:35,771 I don't understand, either. 640 00:38:35,855 --> 00:38:38,065 [in English] They're not telling us anything. 641 00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:42,194 [in Spanish] ICE grabbed me outside of Litchfield, and now I'm in Arizona. 642 00:38:42,486 --> 00:38:45,406 Well, no problem. I'm coming tomorrow. 643 00:38:46,198 --> 00:38:48,826 I'll borrow money and drive there. 644 00:38:48,909 --> 00:38:51,078 It's not worth it. 645 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:54,749 [in English] They just keep transferring people for no reason. 646 00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:58,794 [in Spanish] I'm asking them why they're doing all this, but no one will tell me. 647 00:38:58,878 --> 00:38:59,896 And they are treating us... 648 00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:01,881 [in English] They're just treating us so... 649 00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:05,968 [sighs] I don't know why this is happening. 650 00:39:06,969 --> 00:39:08,262 [in Spanish] Me neither. 651 00:39:09,972 --> 00:39:11,432 [in English] I'm sorry, baby. 652 00:39:12,641 --> 00:39:16,562 [in Spanish] I know I ruined everything for us before because of that old cunt. 653 00:39:17,730 --> 00:39:20,483 And it was one thing when you wanted to wait the two years for me... 654 00:39:20,566 --> 00:39:21,650 [in English] But this? 655 00:39:22,276 --> 00:39:24,987 [sniffles] You can't keep waiting forever. 656 00:39:25,071 --> 00:39:27,365 [in Spanish] No, my love, don't say that. 657 00:39:27,448 --> 00:39:29,885 [in English] We've gotten through everything else in the past. 658 00:39:29,909 --> 00:39:32,244 We're gonna get through this, too. Okay? 659 00:39:32,870 --> 00:39:33,930 [in Spanish] What's a few more months 660 00:39:33,954 --> 00:39:35,748 [in English] while we figure this out? 661 00:39:35,831 --> 00:39:37,792 We have the rest of our lives together. 662 00:39:38,542 --> 00:39:41,629 [in Spanish] We're gonna try heroin when we're 80, remember? 663 00:39:41,712 --> 00:39:42,630 [laughing] 664 00:39:42,713 --> 00:39:45,216 [in English] We're gonna have our own washer and dryer. 665 00:39:45,299 --> 00:39:47,385 [in Spanish] And a dog named... 666 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:48,803 Mojito. 667 00:39:48,886 --> 00:39:50,012 [chuckles] 668 00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:52,807 Baby... 669 00:39:53,474 --> 00:39:55,643 I love you very much. Tell me... 670 00:39:55,726 --> 00:39:58,562 [in English] Uh, what... what can I do? I need to know. 671 00:39:58,646 --> 00:39:59,855 Okay. Get a pen. 672 00:40:00,606 --> 00:40:03,606 I'm gonna give you my alien number. [in Spanish] Use it to track me online. 673 00:40:05,611 --> 00:40:07,255 [in English] Find out what happened to the "permanent" 674 00:40:07,279 --> 00:40:09,698 [in Spanish] in my "permanent resident" status. 675 00:40:10,533 --> 00:40:12,451 Hang tight, my beautiful dove. 676 00:40:14,495 --> 00:40:17,081 - Wardy Ward, wait up! - Don't call me that. 677 00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:19,500 What's up, Hellman? 678 00:40:19,834 --> 00:40:23,087 Hey, don't mind Hopper today. He's under a lot of pressure lately. 679 00:40:23,629 --> 00:40:25,423 Oh! He's under a lot of pressure? 680 00:40:25,506 --> 00:40:28,342 Yeah, yeah. But listen, I think I can help you. 681 00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:31,762 I've been looking at this whole situation, you want my opinion? 682 00:40:32,471 --> 00:40:33,889 You need to transfer Vause. 683 00:40:36,058 --> 00:40:37,143 Vause? 684 00:40:37,852 --> 00:40:39,520 Trust me, it's for her protection. 685 00:40:39,603 --> 00:40:42,565 I mean, if you look at it, she's the root of all this stuff. 686 00:40:42,648 --> 00:40:43,834 Murphy and her crew have it out for her. 687 00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:46,418 It's only a matter of time before she leaves here on a stretcher. 688 00:40:46,652 --> 00:40:49,113 Now... Now, I know you have a lot on your plate, 689 00:40:49,488 --> 00:40:53,033 so I already filled out the request. All's you have to do is sign it. 690 00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:54,869 Sure, I'll take a look. 691 00:40:54,952 --> 00:40:57,163 Awesome. Just looking out for you. 692 00:40:57,746 --> 00:41:00,416 I think another incident like that free-for-all back there 693 00:41:00,499 --> 00:41:02,251 would be a bad look for the new warden. 694 00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:06,422 And by the way, I love that blazer on you. 695 00:41:14,263 --> 00:41:16,223 [Fig] So is it everything you thought it would be? 696 00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:18,577 [Tamika] What are you doing here? 697 00:41:18,601 --> 00:41:22,354 Grabbing a few things. The new place is really bare bones. 698 00:41:23,022 --> 00:41:24,565 So, how was your first day? 699 00:41:25,441 --> 00:41:26,817 Good. Good. 700 00:41:27,985 --> 00:41:29,528 Oh, this. 701 00:41:30,696 --> 00:41:32,656 Workplace hazard, you know? 702 00:41:33,491 --> 00:41:34,533 God damn it! 703 00:41:35,409 --> 00:41:36,928 How the hell do you ever adjust this thing? 704 00:41:36,952 --> 00:41:38,287 You can't. It's broken. 705 00:41:39,455 --> 00:41:40,655 I put in a request months ago. 706 00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:43,166 Fuck. 707 00:41:43,918 --> 00:41:46,587 You are not gonna last long around this place 708 00:41:46,670 --> 00:41:49,381 if a broken chair sends you into that kind of tailspin. 709 00:41:49,965 --> 00:41:51,926 It's not about the stupid chair. 710 00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:55,095 Can I ask you an honest question? 711 00:41:55,179 --> 00:41:57,932 Only if you want an unyielding answer. 712 00:41:59,642 --> 00:42:01,685 I only got this job because I'm black... 713 00:42:02,978 --> 00:42:03,979 right? 714 00:42:04,063 --> 00:42:05,189 [Fig] Pretty much. 715 00:42:06,774 --> 00:42:07,774 [scoffs] 716 00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:15,866 And I only had it because I'm a woman. 717 00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:20,579 And I only got the new job because I'm a fucking bitch. 718 00:42:21,580 --> 00:42:25,251 Look, it doesn't really matter how we get the job. 719 00:42:25,334 --> 00:42:28,546 What matters is what we do once we have them. 720 00:42:34,343 --> 00:42:36,512 That your suggestion box? 721 00:42:37,263 --> 00:42:38,263 Yeah. 722 00:42:39,682 --> 00:42:40,683 Cute. 723 00:42:42,226 --> 00:42:43,561 Here's my suggestion. 724 00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:47,606 Do whatever the fuck you want. 725 00:42:49,149 --> 00:42:50,693 And get a better blazer. 726 00:42:56,448 --> 00:42:57,283 [door closes] 727 00:42:57,366 --> 00:42:58,366 Red! What are you doing? 728 00:43:04,623 --> 00:43:06,917 I've been looking all over the place for you. 729 00:43:07,585 --> 00:43:11,839 The sound of the tumble noise is very soothing. 730 00:43:20,889 --> 00:43:24,310 You know, they came by my cell, offered me the kitchen. 731 00:43:26,020 --> 00:43:28,355 But I also know you turned it down. 732 00:43:28,439 --> 00:43:32,401 And they say Russians are the ones to leak things. 733 00:43:32,860 --> 00:43:35,404 Since when do you voluntarily give kitchens to me? 734 00:43:40,159 --> 00:43:41,160 Gloria... 735 00:43:43,370 --> 00:43:44,913 I don't think I can do it. 736 00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:50,961 Something happened to me in that box. 737 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:55,007 I left part of myself in there. 738 00:43:57,593 --> 00:43:59,637 How are you okay? 739 00:44:00,220 --> 00:44:01,555 I don't think that I am. 740 00:44:04,391 --> 00:44:06,185 [sighs] But... 741 00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:09,480 I think the way we get back to... 742 00:44:10,397 --> 00:44:14,068 who we were before is by doing the things we did before. 743 00:44:14,151 --> 00:44:15,194 You know what I mean? 744 00:44:15,569 --> 00:44:16,820 Before what? 745 00:44:17,571 --> 00:44:20,407 The SHU? Prison? 746 00:44:21,825 --> 00:44:23,535 [chuckles] America? 747 00:44:24,787 --> 00:44:28,540 Listen, I want the kitchen, but only if you're there with me. 748 00:44:29,083 --> 00:44:31,835 That's how we get those parts of ourselves back, Red. 749 00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:34,713 Maybe we can, um... 750 00:44:35,714 --> 00:44:38,133 get some of the old gang together again. 751 00:44:39,093 --> 00:44:40,469 Nicky and Lorna. 752 00:44:42,096 --> 00:44:43,597 Norma and Gina. 753 00:44:46,642 --> 00:44:48,060 Norma and Gina aren't here. 754 00:44:50,604 --> 00:44:52,189 No, of course. 755 00:44:55,192 --> 00:44:57,236 So it'll be like old times? 756 00:44:58,487 --> 00:44:59,487 Yeah. 757 00:45:00,823 --> 00:45:04,243 I'll run the kitchen, and you'll be my lieutenant. 758 00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:09,748 Oh! [laughs] I see how you Russians work. 759 00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:13,460 You say communism, but you mean dictatorship. 760 00:45:14,503 --> 00:45:17,089 - [Suzanne screaming] - [Pennsatucky shushing] 761 00:45:17,172 --> 00:45:20,426 Suzanne, what the hell are you doing? You're gonna get a shot. 762 00:45:20,509 --> 00:45:21,802 [whimpering] I'm sad. 763 00:45:23,178 --> 00:45:24,847 I'm sad and I don't feel better, 764 00:45:24,930 --> 00:45:26,850 and neither does Cindy, and neither does Taystee, 765 00:45:26,932 --> 00:45:29,059 and nothing ever makes me feel better. 766 00:45:29,143 --> 00:45:32,771 Shh! Let's just think. Let's think about this. 767 00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:35,774 There's got to be some way that we can make this right. 768 00:45:37,526 --> 00:45:42,740 Tell me, does anything else happen in any of these other movies you've seen? 769 00:45:42,823 --> 00:45:43,907 I don't know. 770 00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:48,245 All I know is that this terrible thing happened 771 00:45:48,328 --> 00:45:51,081 and there is no going back unless we do an Outlander 772 00:45:51,165 --> 00:45:54,042 and go through the stone of Craigh na Dun... 773 00:45:54,126 --> 00:45:57,004 - Then, tell me what happened at camp. - I can't tell you anything. 774 00:45:58,672 --> 00:46:01,508 - Cindy told me not to tell anyone. - Fine. 775 00:46:04,678 --> 00:46:08,974 She told you not to tell any persons, but... 776 00:46:10,851 --> 00:46:12,811 [in sock puppet voice] can you tell me? 777 00:46:13,562 --> 00:46:19,568 Hm? I mean, technically, I'm not a person, seeing as I have no blood or vital organs. 778 00:46:30,496 --> 00:46:34,833 You promise, promise, never to repeat this? 779 00:46:36,001 --> 00:46:37,961 Oh, I promise, promise. [kissing] 780 00:46:45,135 --> 00:46:47,471 [exhales deeply] Okay. 781 00:46:49,598 --> 00:46:50,599 So... 782 00:46:52,559 --> 00:46:54,728 [door opens and closes] 783 00:46:57,648 --> 00:47:00,067 I brought donuts. 784 00:47:01,318 --> 00:47:03,195 Your mother has me doing the Whole30. 785 00:47:03,654 --> 00:47:05,072 I don't know what that is. 786 00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:08,367 Prison, remember? 787 00:47:08,450 --> 00:47:11,620 Yeah. Trust me, I'll never forget. 788 00:47:16,917 --> 00:47:18,019 So, if you brought the donuts, 789 00:47:18,043 --> 00:47:20,546 I take it you're able to pay me back the $50 you borrowed? 790 00:47:20,629 --> 00:47:23,006 Soon. So soon. 791 00:47:24,383 --> 00:47:27,553 Do you remember that summer I interned for you in high school? 792 00:47:28,387 --> 00:47:31,807 I was wondering if I could do that again. 793 00:47:32,349 --> 00:47:35,060 But as a job. If you'd hire me. 794 00:47:35,143 --> 00:47:38,146 Piper, I don't think my clients are gonna be comfortable with a felon 795 00:47:38,230 --> 00:47:39,870 looking through their credit information. 796 00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:43,861 I'll file, make copies, make coffee, make anything. 797 00:47:43,944 --> 00:47:45,195 I want to pay you back. 798 00:47:46,864 --> 00:47:48,073 For everything. 799 00:47:48,574 --> 00:47:50,576 So I'm supposed to help you pay me back? 800 00:47:51,910 --> 00:47:52,911 Yep. 801 00:47:53,829 --> 00:47:55,497 Because I'm still your daughter. 802 00:47:56,790 --> 00:48:00,377 Because life isn't long enough for us to be like this. 803 00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,715 Maybe this is the beginning of a road back. 804 00:48:07,676 --> 00:48:09,136 There's gotta be a way back. 805 00:48:13,849 --> 00:48:18,061 I have been meaning to, uh, digitize all my old files. 806 00:48:21,690 --> 00:48:24,443 How are you with minutiae and following direction? Good. Very good. 807 00:48:28,238 --> 00:48:29,698 Prison, remember? 808 00:48:33,702 --> 00:48:35,037 Please get rid of this donut. 809 00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:39,833 Any notes on my performance yesterday? 810 00:48:40,667 --> 00:48:44,087 [sighs] Maybe the whole getting-in-my-face part was a bit on the nose, 811 00:48:44,171 --> 00:48:46,131 but I think Hellman bought it. 812 00:48:47,174 --> 00:48:48,926 He bought it. He was so pissed, 813 00:48:49,009 --> 00:48:51,345 he actually ate all the burritos he brought in. 814 00:48:53,972 --> 00:48:56,475 By the way, I got the stuff. 815 00:48:57,601 --> 00:48:59,353 Raided my mom's medicine cabinet. 816 00:49:00,103 --> 00:49:01,164 I'm not sure what those are, 817 00:49:01,188 --> 00:49:03,023 and some might be expired, but it's a start. 818 00:49:03,106 --> 00:49:04,858 A random assortment of pills? 819 00:49:06,777 --> 00:49:08,820 This one says "Centrum Complete." 820 00:49:09,613 --> 00:49:11,281 Have you seen the people in here? 821 00:49:11,657 --> 00:49:14,368 I'd think a multivitamin would be a hot commodity. 822 00:49:15,035 --> 00:49:17,621 You need heroin or something good. 823 00:49:17,704 --> 00:49:22,542 [scoffs] Fine. Sell heroin from where you get heroin from. 824 00:49:22,876 --> 00:49:24,252 I get it from you. 825 00:49:25,128 --> 00:49:27,589 Well, I don't know how to get heroin. 826 00:49:28,590 --> 00:49:30,068 Then how did you think this was gonna work 827 00:49:30,092 --> 00:49:31,969 when you roped me into your fucking scheme? 828 00:49:33,804 --> 00:49:36,098 And why did I actually flush the drugs? 829 00:49:37,224 --> 00:49:40,143 I don't know. It had to look real. 830 00:49:42,062 --> 00:49:44,773 I'm sorry I don't know how to procure heroin, okay? 831 00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:48,235 I'm one of the good ones. This is all new to me. 832 00:49:48,527 --> 00:49:51,530 Not anymore. You're forcing me to sell drugs for you. 833 00:49:52,781 --> 00:49:53,781 Look, 834 00:49:54,908 --> 00:49:57,911 things are a little tough right now and I really need the money, okay? 835 00:49:58,286 --> 00:50:02,541 It's a long story. I just... I need it. So just sell the pills. 836 00:50:03,166 --> 00:50:04,166 Or else... 837 00:50:08,839 --> 00:50:12,217 All right, look, there is... There is another thing we can do. 838 00:50:14,344 --> 00:50:16,304 You know how everyone has a phone in here, right? 839 00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,515 You know what they don't have? 840 00:50:20,142 --> 00:50:21,184 Headphones. 841 00:50:21,643 --> 00:50:23,061 Jesus. You are bad at this. 842 00:50:23,145 --> 00:50:24,354 They don't have juice. 843 00:50:24,896 --> 00:50:26,523 Badison sold everyone a phone, 844 00:50:26,773 --> 00:50:29,293 but it's so hard to get a charge in here without getting caught. 845 00:50:29,317 --> 00:50:31,820 If you could bring in those portable charger things, 846 00:50:32,362 --> 00:50:33,447 we could make a mint. 847 00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:35,699 And it's not a felony. 848 00:50:36,408 --> 00:50:37,784 We charge people to charge. 849 00:50:39,870 --> 00:50:41,121 I'll go to a Target. 850 00:50:43,206 --> 00:50:45,459 Or is this more of a Costco type of thing? 851 00:50:45,709 --> 00:50:47,586 Either way, I'll go right after work. 852 00:50:47,919 --> 00:50:49,188 Actually, I can't go right after work... 853 00:50:49,212 --> 00:50:52,007 - I don't need to know your life. - Okay. 854 00:50:53,216 --> 00:50:57,095 And, I mean, when Jefferson gave that right cross to Murphy's face? Yowza. 855 00:50:57,721 --> 00:50:59,598 [imitates punching sounds] 856 00:50:59,681 --> 00:51:00,682 Morning. 857 00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:05,896 Hopper, take a look. 858 00:51:06,146 --> 00:51:07,731 Making some changes around here. 859 00:51:08,065 --> 00:51:10,358 Great, let's hope you've come to your senses. 860 00:51:10,442 --> 00:51:11,902 You're reopening the SHU? 861 00:51:11,985 --> 00:51:16,323 Nope. Making strategic inmate transfers instead. 862 00:51:17,407 --> 00:51:21,661 Move Tasha Jefferson back to D-Block and Cindy Hayes over to Florida. 863 00:51:23,705 --> 00:51:26,208 Oh, and, Hellman, about Vause... 864 00:51:27,167 --> 00:51:28,919 Thanks for the suggestion. 865 00:51:29,002 --> 00:51:32,923 But I looked into it, and it's Murphy who keeps getting jumped. 866 00:51:33,715 --> 00:51:35,884 That's why she's being transferred to Missouri. 867 00:51:36,468 --> 00:51:38,678 Ward, this is crazy. You can't do all this! 868 00:51:41,139 --> 00:51:43,642 Tell me again what I can't do. 869 00:51:47,479 --> 00:51:52,859 Oh, and, Dixon, carry this chair down to my office for me. 870 00:51:53,276 --> 00:51:54,319 Yes, ma'am. 871 00:52:03,537 --> 00:52:04,621 Hopper, sorry. 872 00:52:09,376 --> 00:52:12,045 Hey, um, thanks for adding me to your new crew. 873 00:52:12,129 --> 00:52:15,882 You were always one of my best girls and, frankly, you're the only one left. 874 00:52:15,966 --> 00:52:19,594 Oh, we missed you, Red. And Sterling missed you, too. 875 00:52:19,678 --> 00:52:20,678 Sterling? 876 00:52:20,720 --> 00:52:23,640 [gasps] That's right. You don't even know who he is yet. 877 00:52:23,723 --> 00:52:25,725 You gotta see this kid, Red. 878 00:52:25,809 --> 00:52:29,396 Yes, of course. I can't wait to see this little yozhik. 879 00:52:29,479 --> 00:52:31,231 [Nicky] It's good to have you back. 880 00:52:31,314 --> 00:52:33,650 Hey, yo, Blake, I know I'm not the boss of this place, 881 00:52:33,733 --> 00:52:35,318 but isn't the kitchen back that way? 882 00:52:35,402 --> 00:52:37,946 Kitchen? I was told to take you to the van. 883 00:52:40,031 --> 00:52:41,491 Well, maybe it's a good surprise. 884 00:52:42,033 --> 00:52:44,953 Like a outdoor barbecue-type situation. 885 00:52:45,036 --> 00:52:49,708 Oh, right. I'll just add that to the list of good prison surprises we've all had. 886 00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:55,172 "US Marshal"? 887 00:52:56,339 --> 00:52:59,342 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. What's this? 888 00:52:59,885 --> 00:53:03,013 - Where you taking us? - Relax. It's not your ride. 889 00:53:03,638 --> 00:53:04,639 [Danilo] Coming through! 890 00:53:04,723 --> 00:53:07,142 Please, don't do this. I don't know anyone in Missouri. 891 00:53:07,225 --> 00:53:09,603 Then maybe you should have been Goodison. 892 00:53:11,438 --> 00:53:13,249 Don't tell me those bitches are coming with me. 893 00:53:13,273 --> 00:53:14,816 Nope, just you. 894 00:53:17,611 --> 00:53:19,404 - Please. - [Danilo] Nah. 895 00:53:21,948 --> 00:53:23,909 [screams] Fuck! 896 00:53:28,955 --> 00:53:32,709 I'm so confused. Where are we going? 897 00:53:35,295 --> 00:53:38,006 This way my sister will know it's really me. 898 00:53:38,089 --> 00:53:40,926 You think someone would forge your letter from a detention center? 899 00:53:41,343 --> 00:53:44,221 You wouldn't understand. I've had a lot of stalkers over the years. 900 00:53:44,679 --> 00:53:46,723 Right. Because of your face? 901 00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:48,350 And my body. 902 00:53:51,436 --> 00:53:53,939 Excuse me. Where is the outgoing mail? 903 00:53:54,022 --> 00:53:57,442 It's over there. But you need to put a stamp on it first. 904 00:53:57,817 --> 00:53:59,778 Okay. Well, where do I get a stamp? 905 00:54:00,362 --> 00:54:01,529 At the kiosk. 906 00:54:02,405 --> 00:54:04,032 But the kiosk is broken. 907 00:54:04,115 --> 00:54:07,285 Which is why I couldn't get a phone card, which is why I wrote a letter. 908 00:54:07,619 --> 00:54:10,538 This was before I made a real enemy by stealing this envelope 909 00:54:11,039 --> 00:54:13,541 and after I traded in my food for the paper 910 00:54:13,625 --> 00:54:14,793 and my socks for the pen. 911 00:54:14,876 --> 00:54:17,337 [yells] And now you're saying that there's no more stamps? 912 00:54:18,421 --> 00:54:19,631 [sobs] 913 00:54:19,714 --> 00:54:20,757 Wish I could help. 914 00:54:23,218 --> 00:54:26,221 Let's go. It's not worth it. 915 00:54:26,304 --> 00:54:27,514 I don't wanna hear it. 916 00:54:28,306 --> 00:54:29,557 I wasn't gonna say it. 917 00:54:42,362 --> 00:54:45,740 [Diablo in Spanish] Baby, are you crying? 918 00:54:47,075 --> 00:54:48,368 Oh, my love. 919 00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:53,164 - You look beautiful. - [chuckles] 920 00:54:54,374 --> 00:54:55,709 [in English] You do, too. 921 00:54:56,668 --> 00:54:59,629 [guard] All right, enough with the PDA. Talk or walk. 922 00:55:03,300 --> 00:55:05,468 Bueno, baby, I looked into it. 923 00:55:07,512 --> 00:55:09,848 [in Spanish] I used all the coffee can money 924 00:55:10,265 --> 00:55:13,310 and got an appointment with an immigration lawyer. 925 00:55:13,393 --> 00:55:15,603 And? What did they say? 926 00:55:17,063 --> 00:55:18,189 It's not good. 927 00:55:19,357 --> 00:55:21,585 [in English] She says that your green card's been invalidated 928 00:55:21,609 --> 00:55:24,112 because you committed a deportable offense. 929 00:55:24,821 --> 00:55:27,157 For covering up for the old lady's hit-and-run? 930 00:55:27,240 --> 00:55:28,950 [in Spanish] No, it wasn't that. 931 00:55:29,034 --> 00:55:32,996 She said it was because you pled guilty to being an organizer in the riot. 932 00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:37,000 That's why they didn't give me extra time. 933 00:55:37,834 --> 00:55:39,437 [in English] To set me up with this shit! 934 00:55:39,461 --> 00:55:42,130 [in Spanish] I know, I know. But it doesn't matter. 935 00:55:42,672 --> 00:55:44,424 [in English] Baby, no matter what... 936 00:55:44,507 --> 00:55:46,676 [in Spanish] we will figure this out. 937 00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:49,137 What if they deport me back to Santo Domingo? 938 00:55:49,220 --> 00:55:52,100 I haven't been there in 15 years... [in English] Baby, I won't let them. 939 00:55:53,516 --> 00:55:56,478 [in Spanish] Besides, now that you're in Litchfield, 940 00:55:57,645 --> 00:55:59,939 at least I can visit, right? 941 00:56:02,734 --> 00:56:05,904 My love, at least here I can touch you. 942 00:56:06,446 --> 00:56:10,116 [sighs] It's been so long since I've been able to touch your skin. 943 00:56:10,533 --> 00:56:12,118 [Carlos in English] Mr. Zuniga? 944 00:56:12,869 --> 00:56:16,915 You got any other form of documentation with you today? A license or a passport? 945 00:56:17,457 --> 00:56:20,543 I was told I didn't need that. That my New York ID's enough. 946 00:56:20,627 --> 00:56:25,173 Right, but part of our protocol is we cross-reference the immigration status 947 00:56:25,256 --> 00:56:27,967 with all the visitors in and out of our facility. 948 00:56:28,510 --> 00:56:30,303 And yours came up flagged for us. 949 00:56:30,387 --> 00:56:32,847 Flagged? Flagged for what? 950 00:56:32,931 --> 00:56:36,017 Only asking some questions here, sir. No need to raise your voice. 951 00:56:36,101 --> 00:56:37,685 He did not raise his voice. 952 00:56:37,769 --> 00:56:38,895 No, listen. Please, okay? 953 00:56:38,978 --> 00:56:42,107 I'm a legal permanent resident. I've got a green card. 954 00:56:42,190 --> 00:56:43,190 Did I say step forward? 955 00:56:44,025 --> 00:56:47,195 You do not step forward until I tell you to. 956 00:56:50,073 --> 00:56:51,533 Can you produce that card for me? 957 00:56:51,616 --> 00:56:55,453 I... I didn't bring it with me. It's expired. I'm waiting on a new one. 958 00:56:55,537 --> 00:56:57,223 But you just finished saying you were legal. 959 00:56:57,247 --> 00:56:59,207 - I am. - But if your green card's expired, 960 00:56:59,290 --> 00:57:02,168 then you're not actually a legal permanent resident. 961 00:57:04,796 --> 00:57:07,924 Tell you what. We're gonna bring you into processing as we sort this out. 962 00:57:08,007 --> 00:57:11,970 And if there's no problem, like you say, there's not gonna be a problem. 963 00:57:12,053 --> 00:57:14,347 And if that's the case, we'll have you on your way soon. 964 00:57:14,431 --> 00:57:15,890 - So, come on. - No, stop. 965 00:57:15,974 --> 00:57:20,395 No, no, you can't do this! Hold on. You can't do this! He didn't do anything! 966 00:57:22,021 --> 00:57:23,982 [dialogue inaudible] 967 00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:36,161 I'm scared. Yeah. 968 00:57:40,832 --> 00:57:42,584 No one even knows where we are. 969 00:57:49,048 --> 00:57:51,050 [Spanish song playing]