1
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:14,973
[cell door slams]
2
00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:16,474
[theme song playing]
3
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:05,232
[cell door slams]
4
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,916
{\an8}[cell door slams]
5
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,756
{\an8}Why aren't you at work?
6
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,590
{\an8}Luschek never showed.
7
00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,467
{\an8}Probably passed out
in his own vomit somewhere.
8
00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:35,929
{\an8}-So you chose to come in here and... help?
-Yeah.
9
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,723
{\an8}Figured you could use it
for Thanksgiving.
10
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,099
{\an8}Then get your ass off my counter
11
00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,393
{\an8}and help Gina pull the turkeys
out of the freezer.
12
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,478
{\an8}Shit, we got real turkey this year!
13
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:47,399
{\an8}We got trimmings from the factory.
50 cents a pound.
14
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,902
{\an8}Trimmings...
The shit no one else wants.
15
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:51,945
{\an8}That's a bag of
turkey assholes right there.
16
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:54,657
{\an8}The whole meal has to come in
at $1.05 a prisoner.
17
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:57,075
{\an8}Taxpayers don't give a shit
if it's a holiday.
18
00:01:57,159 --> 00:01:58,994
{\an8}We're the bad guys.
19
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,421
{\an8}Pig-fucker.
20
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,974
Brown the onions for the gravy.
21
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,089
[Sophia] That too hot, baby?
22
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,802
No... it's perfect.
23
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,972
I feel so good.
24
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,224
[Sister Ingalls]
"Frequent blinking may actually be a way
25
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,727
for your brain to rest
while you're awake."
26
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,729
Wakeful rest, huh?
27
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,271
You okay, honey?
28
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:12,275
{\an8}[voice breaking]
It's just being touched by another person.
29
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,865
{\an8}-[Sophia] I get it.
-Thanks.
30
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,616
{\an8}The body gets lonely in here.
31
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:22,369
{\an8}Yeah. It's not even sex, you know?
I just...
32
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,497
{\an8}I miss contact.
33
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,541
{\an8}Human beings aren't supposed
to live like this.
34
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,711
{\an8}I've been in almost two years...
35
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,006
{\an8}and there's still nights
I reach out for my wife.
36
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:37,425
{\an8}You know, I was thinking about you guys.
37
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,887
{\an8}And I was imagining what I would do
38
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,555
{\an8}if Larry told me that
he wanted to be a woman.
39
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,683
{\an8}I'd like to think that
I would be open to it...
40
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,685
{\an8}but it would just be so weird.
41
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:50,147
I'm sorry, is that totally rude?
42
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,357
No. It's fine.
43
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,985
He would make such an ugly girl.
44
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,320
[both chuckle]
45
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:58,696
Is he coming to visit you today?
46
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,743
First holiday in prison can be rough.
47
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:03,827
Very emotional.
48
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,620
[Sophia] But she's gonna be fine...
49
00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:08,874
{\an8}'cause we about to make some Heidi Klum
shit happen right here. [chuckles]
50
00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:10,959
{\an8}[sniffs]
51
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,837
{\an8}Ugh, that smells nasty.
52
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,840
{\an8}What's it made of?
53
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,177
{\an8}You don't wanna know.
54
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,888
{\an8}[groans]
55
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,140
{\an8}How did you learn all this?
56
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:29,144
{\an8}My aunt was a santera.
I used to help her out sometimes.
57
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,563
{\an8}I dabble.
58
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,901
{\an8}So what's gonna happen to me?
59
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,236
{\an8}You're gonna cramp up...
60
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,613
{\an8}some wicked diarrhea.
61
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,617
{\an8}This shit ain't pretty.
62
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,078
{\an8}You drink this,
63
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:49,414
{\an8}then you're gonna go out
and dig a hole in the yard.
64
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,124
{\an8}You're gonna make me shit in a hole?
65
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,460
{\an8}No.
You're gonna put this bean in there.
66
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,046
{\an8}Then you're gonna find a cigarette...
67
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,256
{\an8}you're gonna blow some smoke in there...
68
00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,801
{\an8}you're gonna cover it up
with a mound of dirt.
69
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:04,471
{\an8}And that's gonna have to do it...
70
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,933
{\an8}because I don't have any angelica...
71
00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:12,020
{\an8}or gris-gris oil.
72
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,775
{\an8}[speaking Spanish]
73
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:20,153
{\an8}Take it.
74
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,784
This is gonna kill it?
75
00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:28,453
Well, that's what you want, right?
76
00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:30,080
As long as it don't feel anything.
77
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,458
Please.
It don't even have a brain yet.
78
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,632
{\an8}[speaking Spanish]
79
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,384
{\an8}Hurry up, drink it.
80
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:45,678
{\an8}[Dayanara] Ow, that's hot!
81
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,515
{\an8}[Gloria] I told you it was, stupid.
Go ahead, drink it all.
82
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,060
{\an8}[speaking Spanish]
83
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,811
{\an8}Where my Snickers?
84
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:09,119
{\an8}[Pennsatucky] You know, I pray for
all the dead babies...
85
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,914
and all their baby souls.
86
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:20,380
[sobs] And God, he's gonna let them into
heaven, even though they weren't baptized.
87
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,175
-Are you getting all of this?
-Yeah.
88
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:26,970
And you can also tell Judy that...
that I pray for her as well.
89
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,721
Well, her name's Barbara.
90
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,515
-Barbara?
-Barbara.
91
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:33,185
Damn!
I can't keep all this fan mail straight.
92
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:35,062
[stutters] I can't keep up with it.
93
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,396
What? You have fans?
94
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,565
-She's a hero.
-[Alex scoffs]
95
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,442
She's a defender of the unborn.
96
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:43,403
Jeez, that sounds like a bad X-Men movie.
97
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,863
What'd you do, bomb an abortion clinic?
98
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:48,366
And you can sign off with...
99
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:52,162
"I will be out of here by 2015...
100
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,082
before the rapture."
101
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,374
[chuckling] Oh, man.
102
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,750
Is something fucking funny to you?
103
00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:00,253
Yeah. It's just... People predict
the rapture all the time.
104
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:02,714
I mean, wasn't that
supposed to happen in 2011?
105
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:06,884
No. [stutters] It comes in two stages.
If you study your shit.
106
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:11,806
The first one was a spiritual rapture.
107
00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:15,018
And the second one coming
is a physical one.
108
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,104
Ah, I see.
109
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,188
-Okay?
-Got it.
110
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,439
And you're not invited...
111
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,817
because they don't allow
gay people on the rapture bus!
112
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,945
There's a bus?
113
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:27,990
Are all the seats already taken
by Appalachian meth-heads?
114
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,075
Oh, man, you're gonna... you're just
gonna get it, Vause, aren't you?
115
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,452
Do we have to go back in the dryer, huh?
116
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:33,536
You already locked me
in that fucking dryer.
117
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,247
Yeah, maybe I'll fucking
turn it on this time.
118
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,124
Make you spin around like a gerbil.
119
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,001
Wanna know why?
120
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,878
'Cause I've... had it...
121
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:46,508
with rich bitches like you.
122
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:52,973
[Jessica] Those are bobos.
123
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:56,434
Real Adidas have three stripes, not four.
124
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:57,894
Your shoes are bobos.
125
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,187
So?
126
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:03,233
So your mom shops at Payless.
And works at Friendly's.
127
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,901
[girls laugh]
128
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,279
My mom has, like, four jobs.
129
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,531
That's not something to brag about.
130
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,408
You dress like a bum.
131
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,660
-She smells like one, too.
-[girls giggle]
132
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,996
[car horn honks]
133
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,540
[Jessica] Do you guys live
in that janky car? [chuckles]
134
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,792
-Bye-bye, pigsty!
-Bye-bye, pigsty!
135
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,044
[girls giggle]
136
00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:25,713
-[Diane] Are those your friends?
-No.
137
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,257
How was school?
138
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:31,928
They changed the schedule around,
so I don't gotta work nights no more.
139
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,847
Fucking Brenda keeps trying to
get me to cover her shifts.
140
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,559
What are you doing?
It's freezing out.
141
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,937
[Diane] What the fuck was that?
142
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:44,691
I'm not wearing those anymore.
They're bobos.
143
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:48,736
Go get 'em back.
144
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,322
Jessica Wedge says they're lame.
145
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,240
So fuck Jessica Wedge.
146
00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:55,535
They all make fun of me.
They call me pigsty.
147
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,206
Did you tell them who your dad is?
148
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:02,292
-I've never even met him.
-Well, you tell them.
149
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,670
You tell them, "My dad is Lee Burley,
the drummer for Death Maiden."
150
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:08,298
You see what those smug little bitches
say then.
151
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,466
I mean, who are they, huh?
152
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,093
What?
'Cause their parents work at the college,
153
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,885
they think they're all fucking fancy?
154
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:15,763
You are the daughter of a rock god.
155
00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:19,101
If he's so rich and famous...
why are we so broke?
156
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,562
You know how many girls
used to scream at his concerts?
157
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:26,733
You know, rip their clothes off?
Throw themselves at him?
158
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,319
But your dad chose me.
159
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,696
And together we made you.
160
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,866
Now go get your fucking sneakers.
161
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:38,245
Don't you listen
to those smarty-pants assholes.
162
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,746
They're gonna have boring-ass lives.
163
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:42,082
They're gonna wish that they were you.
164
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,500
You are cool.
165
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,506
{\an8}[Pornstache] Listen up, turd-bags!
166
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,093
We're gonna let you have
your little going-away party,
167
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:57,054
but do not make our lives more difficult
afterwards by hanging yourself...
168
00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:59,932
with a sheet, or a tampon string...
169
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:02,602
or whatever the fuck you like
to get all arts and craftsy with.
170
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,313
No Thanksgiving suicides.
171
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:08,775
Chapman... what are we not to do
on this day of thanks?
172
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,318
Commit suicide?
173
00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:11,444
Exactly.
174
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,282
We are the Pilgrims,
you bitches are the Indians.
175
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,200
This is the holiday where we cooperate.
176
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,701
[Big Boo] Oh, yes.
177
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:22,789
We bring you maize...
and you give us smallpox blankets.
178
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,333
Exactly. Everybody wins.
179
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,004
You look like JonBenét Ramsey.
180
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:33,550
[chuckles sarcastically]
Well, that's what I was going for.
181
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,010
-Can you hold this for me?
-Yeah.
182
00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:40,432
Did you make this?
183
00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:42,642
Mmm-hmm.
184
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:46,188
It's my second attempt.
I spelled it wrong the first time.
185
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:47,480
[Alex chuckles]
186
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,316
And they say you went to college.
187
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,650
[chuckles]
188
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,195
God, I hate seeing people go.
189
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,198
-It reminds me how much time I have left.
-[Piper] Yeah.
190
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:58,032
But think of the story that you'll have.
191
00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,117
That is my line.
192
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:01,328
I know it is.
193
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,413
You always trot it out
in times of suckiness.
194
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,706
Yeah.
195
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,792
Like that stomach virus I had in Java.
196
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,627
Oh, it was a great fucking story.
197
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,504
The whole village came out
to watch you poop.
198
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,589
[both chuckle]
199
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,924
Hmm.
200
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,884
So maybe this is kind of like that.
201
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:20,555
Yo, yo, she coming, y'all!
Taystee!
202
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:24,809
{\an8}[all chanting] Taystee, Taystee, Taystee!
203
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:26,811
I'm getting out, bitches!
204
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,020
[all cheering]
205
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,522
Yeah. Fight the power!
Fuck the man!
206
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:30,607
Hey!
207
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,024
Watch it.
208
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,776
Hey, yo, come here.
209
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,070
Girl, you my shawty.
210
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:38,823
Aw! Cut it out.
211
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:41,909
You scrubby little hood rats gonna
make a bitch cry.
212
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,202
[both chuckling]
213
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,497
[R&B music playing]
214
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,081
I'll miss you, bitch.
215
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:48,165
Yeah, girl.
216
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:49,917
[inmates cheering]
217
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,345
-My God, do you remember this?
-Yes.
218
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,430
I don't even know how the arms go.
I think...
219
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,896
[Poussey] What the fuck?
220
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,523
Shit, these white girls
trying to throw down.
221
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:12,940
[inmates cheering and laughing]
222
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:21,408
[Janae] Yeah.
[Black Cindy] Yeah, girl!
223
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,242
[Big Boo] Shake that ass.
224
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,789
That's lesbian activity.
225
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:31,834
It sure is.
226
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,713
[Taystee] White girls gone wild.
227
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,173
[inmate] Oh, my gosh.
228
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,802
They're sexing, Mr. Healy.
I seen it.
229
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,804
This morning, in the bathroom,
230
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,056
one girl's face was all up
in the other one's hoo-ha.
231
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:46,308
It was so nasty.
232
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:50,227
-It's an abomination.
-Okay... enough.
233
00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:51,604
They were moaning and everything.
234
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:54,023
Speaking in tongues,
like it's some kind of revival.
235
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:56,401
Who? Who are you talking about?
236
00:12:56,484 --> 00:13:00,363
Vause... and Chapman.
237
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,241
-Chapman?
-Mmm-hmm.
238
00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:05,618
Chapman.
239
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,454
She a lesbian.
240
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,789
They lesbianing together.
241
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,793
They're in there right now...
in front of everyone,
242
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:15,962
dancing all up on each other.
243
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,213
Show me.
244
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,008
[inmates cheering]
245
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,016
Chapman!
246
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,352
Get over here.
247
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,355
-[music stops]
-[inmate] Party's over.
248
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,234
-We were just...
-Shut your mouth, Chapman.
249
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:41,363
You think it's appropriate
to violate your fellow inmate?
250
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,490
-Violate? We were just dancing--
-I said shut your mouth!
251
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:44,991
You asked me a question.
252
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:48,661
That looked like attempted rape to me.
253
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,204
-Take her to SHU.
-[Pornstache] Uh...
254
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:52,499
What? You can't do that.
255
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:53,625
Yeah, she's kind of right.
256
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,334
Shut up, Mendez!
257
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,253
You know, I'm tired of your shit.
258
00:13:57,336 --> 00:14:00,548
I'm your superior fucking officer!
259
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:04,469
Now, you put her in the goddamn box...
or I will fucking write you up, too!
260
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:05,595
[Piper] No, no, no, no.
261
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,013
-She didn't even do anything.
-[Healy] Step back!
262
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,557
Or I will cite you
for assaulting an officer.
263
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,183
[Piper] I have visitation today.
264
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,477
Larry's coming to see me.
265
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,020
-You can't do this.
-[Pornstache] It's all right.
266
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,813
-Let's do what the man says...
-Please don't do this to me.
267
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,982
...before he has an aneurysm.
Come on.
268
00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:20,317
[Piper] Please don't do this.
[Pornstache] Come on!
269
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,747
[Abby] Give me a shotgun!
270
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,417
Give me a motherfucking shotgun,
motherfucker!
271
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,671
This is you.
272
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:47,178
How long am I gonna be in here?
273
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:51,223
Till we let you out.
274
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,026
So tomorrow's the day.
275
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:06,823
My cousin was supposed to send me
my dress-out pack, but it never came.
276
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,659
Now I gotta wear the same shit
I came in here with.
277
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,035
Man, it's gonna be too tight.
278
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:13,079
Man, you can walk out of here
in a garbage bag,
279
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,081
you'll still be dancing
all the way to the bus. [chuckles]
280
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,418
I'm scared.
281
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:20,837
Nothing out there gonna be scarier
than this shit.
282
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,965
Shit, I been in institutions
my whole life.
283
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:26,634
I was a ward of the state till I was 16.
Then juvie.
284
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,554
I got no skills.
285
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,138
[Miss Claudette]
Well, now you're just lying.
286
00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:34,141
You've worked in that law library
for two years.
287
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,018
You know more than my public defender.
288
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:39,772
Yeah, but out there,
you need real school for that stuff.
289
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:42,609
[voice breaking]
No one's gonna take me serious.
290
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,902
[Miss Claudette] You're a smart girl.
291
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:47,404
You like to play the clown...
292
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:50,032
but you've got a lot to offer this world.
293
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,993
This is not a life, Taystee.
294
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,121
Yo, listen to Voodoo Mambo, yo.
295
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:57,039
Hey, yo, you think you just having...
296
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,124
What they call it?
297
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:01,753
That thing that happens to animals
in captivity where it changes they brains?
298
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,170
I seen it at the Bronx Zoo once.
299
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:08,300
This giraffe ate its own vomit...
banged its head up against the bars.
300
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,762
'Cause it ain't fit to
live in the wild no more.
301
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,013
Don't know how to eat leaves.
302
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,474
That's what I'm saying.
I'm the giraffe.
303
00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:15,975
Fuck no, you ain't.
304
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,769
Giraffes skinny.
Look at that ass.
305
00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:18,978
[both laugh]
306
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,606
Yo, don't let 'em get to you, T.
307
00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:24,859
This ain't where it's at.
308
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,946
Jed and Lane are flying in
from Chicago tonight with the kids.
309
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:30,114
Will Grammie be there?
310
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,824
Grammie's gonna stay in North Carolina.
311
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,075
She's got a boyfriend.
312
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:34,619
No shit!
313
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:35,703
Suzanne.
314
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:38,748
Sorry... language.
315
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,207
I know I'm a mess.
316
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,209
I've been cooking
at the soup kitchen at church.
317
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:43,711
Sweet potato casserole?
318
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,087
Yeah, I'm a one-trick pony.
319
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,338
-Hmm.
-[chuckles]
320
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:49,592
See... you're back at church.
321
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,178
I told you... people will get over it.
322
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:55,222
-Well... there's a new pastor.
-Hmm.
323
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,099
He's been really welcoming.
Very nice.
324
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,394
He introduced me to a money manager,
325
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:02,980
who gave me some free advice
on how to talk to the bank.
326
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:05,149
And he's sweet with Michael.
327
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:06,400
Um...
328
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,780
Eva stopped by the salon.
She's pregnant.
329
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,032
You know,
she's been trying for a long time.
330
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,284
You like him? This pastor?
331
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,704
He's a good man.
332
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,747
That's not what I'm asking.
333
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:25,044
I'm not gonna talk about this.
It's Thanksgiving.
334
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,629
Well, I wanna talk about it.
335
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,799
What do you want me to say?
336
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,968
That I met someone and I'm interested?
337
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,722
That I'm lonely and I miss men?
338
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,850
When you went away, you told me--
339
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:41,227
I know what I said.
340
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:45,522
Baby, I don't want some strange man
around my son... my wife.
341
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:49,819
Well, we don't always get
what we want now, do we?
342
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,491
-What about your hair?
-Mommy!
343
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,078
I happen to like my hair like this.
344
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,497
[sighs]
345
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,584
Hey. [clears throat]
346
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:06,085
-Here to see Chapman?
-Yep.
347
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:07,336
You two are such a cute couple.
348
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:10,464
She's the cute one.
I'm like her furry sidekick.
349
00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:11,548
[chuckles]
350
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:13,509
Oh, um...
351
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,678
Actually, you can't see her today.
352
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:16,888
Why not?
353
00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:19,348
She's had some privileges revoked.
354
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,935
-She's in the Security Housing Unit.
-The what?
355
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:27,314
Solitary? [stutters] She's in solitary?
What did she do?
356
00:18:27,398 --> 00:18:29,275
I'm sorry, I can't tell you that.
I don't...
357
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:30,985
[stutters] This is ridiculous!
358
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:34,363
I need to speak with your manager,
or your... superior,
359
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,448
whoever the fuck is in charge here,
please!
360
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,660
Please don't swear at me.
I can give you a number to call...
361
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:39,827
Is she okay?
362
00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:42,413
Can't I just see her for a minute?
363
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,999
I mean, it's a holiday, for God's sake.
364
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,920
Okay, can you at least...
365
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,798
give my phone number
to her counselor, Mr. Healy?
366
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,215
Okay? And have him call me?
367
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,759
Right away,
he needs to call me right away.
368
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:57,011
-I'm not allowed to...
-Please.
369
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,304
Please.
370
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:01,849
-I guess, maybe.
-Thank you.
371
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:03,309
Thank you!
372
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,686
Do you have...
373
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,062
Can I...
374
00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:16,739
-I'll pass it along.
-Okay.
375
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:22,411
And... and if you see Piper...
will you tell her that I love her?
376
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:25,539
Okay? And to call me.
Have her call me.
377
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:28,042
And also that...
378
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,503
that I love her.
379
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:33,965
Okay.
380
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:38,010
Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Bloom.
381
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,179
-[Shannon] Motherfucker!
-[inmate] Shut up!
382
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:43,808
[Shannon banging door] Motherfucker.
I'll kill you, motherfucker.
383
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,278
I'll kill all you motherfuckers!
384
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:02,284
[inmate crying] I'm gonna kill myself
if I can't get out of here.
385
00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:09,416
[inmate yelling]
386
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,469
[inmate banging and shouting]
387
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,561
[inmate screaming]
388
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,778
My brother, Donny,
shot a turkey last year...
389
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:38,654
but it weren't really a turkey.
390
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,614
It was a fucking bald eagle.
391
00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:41,741
[both chuckle]
392
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:44,786
But he still shoved a Coors Light
up the damn thing's ass
393
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:46,495
-and put it on the grill.
-[chuckles]
394
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:47,663
And proceeded to eat it.
395
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:51,667
And when the ranger walked up...
he had the bird hanging out of his mouth.
396
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:56,213
He took his ass right to jail.
And now he's in Federal, in Virginia.
397
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,382
[both chuckle]
398
00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,675
Did it taste like chicken?
399
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,094
No, it tasted like an eagle.
400
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,595
-[Leanne chuckles]
-[Pennsatucky caws]
401
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,389
[both chuckle]
402
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:08,017
-Was your brother smoking tina?
-He snorts Oxy now.
403
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,601
Fuck you.
404
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,854
What the... Get the... The fuck!
405
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,898
-[yelps]
-[spits]
406
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:14,982
[Alex] Thanks for last night, baby.
407
00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:18,277
That shit was amazing.
Nobody's ever licked my pussy like that.
408
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,780
You are lying!
I would never touch this bitch!
409
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,656
Hey, knock it off!
You wanna join your friend down the hill?
410
00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:24,325
[Pennsatucky]
You know, you're gonna go to hell!
411
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:27,078
And you're gonna burn there
for the entire eternity!
412
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:29,121
-I'm already there.
-[Bennett] Have a seat.
413
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:31,290
[opera music playing on stereo]
414
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:32,624
Taste it, Norma.
415
00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:35,544
-[slurps]
-What did I tell you?
416
00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:37,922
It's damn near perfect.
417
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:42,384
[Pornstache claps]
Ladies!
418
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,345
Listen up! It's time to leave.
419
00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:45,805
Let's go! Everybody out...
420
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:48,432
except for you.
You can stay.
421
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:51,185
Let's go, Silent Bob.
That means you, too. Come on.
422
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:53,270
It's okay, I'll take over.
423
00:21:55,772 --> 00:21:57,108
[Pornstache] Attagirl.
424
00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:08,744
[turns off stereo]
425
00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:24,510
Where's my shit, Red?
426
00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,845
I don't know what you're talking about.
427
00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:28,305
Really?
428
00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:31,517
Are you gonna make me
look through every box in here?
429
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,186
How'd you do it?
You stopped the truck?
430
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:35,646
Maybe.
431
00:22:36,898 --> 00:22:39,150
Or maybe I got it from one of your girls.
432
00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:41,068
My girls wouldn't tell you shit.
433
00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:42,236
Huh.
434
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:45,197
You want your pills?
435
00:22:47,324 --> 00:22:49,368
You can go stick your head in the toilet.
436
00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:51,703
There might be a few
still floating around.
437
00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:03,132
You listen to me, you crazy cunt!
438
00:23:04,591 --> 00:23:08,887
The next time my shipment comes in,
you're gonna put it to the side...
439
00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:12,058
top shelf... in the walk-in.
440
00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:14,518
Tricia's in detox.
441
00:23:14,601 --> 00:23:17,271
I hear Caputo's looking for her source.
442
00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:19,481
What would he think
of your little operation?
443
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:21,317
You mean, your operation?
444
00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:25,779
All the contraband
comes through... your kitchen.
445
00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:30,576
Looks like we're at
a Cold War stand-off, Ruskie.
446
00:23:31,577 --> 00:23:33,579
And I got a bigger weapon than you.
447
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,832
You wanna see it?
448
00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:53,099
[unzips]
449
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,063
[urinating]
450
00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:02,483
[sighs]
451
00:24:11,117 --> 00:24:12,201
[zips]
452
00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:18,707
Just a little something extra
for the holidays.
453
00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:26,923
Next time you fuck with my stash...
454
00:24:27,008 --> 00:24:28,259
I'll end your life.
455
00:24:36,350 --> 00:24:37,476
[phone ringing]
456
00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:38,602
[male operator] Hello?
457
00:24:38,685 --> 00:24:40,604
Hi! Yes, hi.
458
00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:43,232
Hello, I am trying to reach
459
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:46,360
the Executive Assistant or
the Assistant Warden, please.
460
00:24:46,443 --> 00:24:48,487
Sir, it's after duty hours.
461
00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:52,616
Okay. Yes. Look, uh...
my wife is in the solitary unit.
462
00:24:52,699 --> 00:24:54,701
Okay? She's being held there illegally.
463
00:24:54,785 --> 00:24:57,996
Now... my father is a lawyer,
I know her rights.
464
00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,831
It's a holiday, sir.
465
00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:02,876
Exactly! That's exactly right!
I know it's a holiday.
466
00:25:02,959 --> 00:25:04,878
That's what makes this so outrageous.
467
00:25:04,961 --> 00:25:06,172
You can call back on Monday--
468
00:25:06,255 --> 00:25:07,798
Would you please listen to me?
469
00:25:07,881 --> 00:25:10,008
Sir, please. Listen to me.
470
00:25:10,092 --> 00:25:12,636
I have left messages
for the Associate Warden,
471
00:25:12,719 --> 00:25:15,139
for the Public Information's Officer,
472
00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:18,767
for the Department of Corrections,
for the fucking Governor's office.
473
00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:19,851
Okay?
474
00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:23,647
If I don't get a call back
from somebody soon...
475
00:25:23,730 --> 00:25:26,983
you people are gonna have
a fucking lawsuit on your hands. Now...
476
00:25:27,068 --> 00:25:28,069
[woman] Hello, you have reached
477
00:25:28,152 --> 00:25:30,279
the Federal Correctional Institution
in Litchfield.
478
00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:32,948
God! Fuck!
479
00:25:35,242 --> 00:25:37,911
Dude... that was really dramatic.
480
00:25:38,912 --> 00:25:40,289
[sighs]
481
00:25:42,333 --> 00:25:44,876
You know how much
Piper loves Thanksgiving?
482
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,545
It is her favorite.
483
00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:48,046
Yeah, I don't know why.
484
00:25:48,130 --> 00:25:50,299
Had to wear a suit jacket.
Fucking toxic.
485
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:52,050
You've been to Thanksgiving
with my parents.
486
00:25:52,134 --> 00:25:55,512
Yeah, no, I know, it's horrible.
She loves... our Thanksgivings.
487
00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:58,349
Oh, in... in your parents' apartment?
488
00:25:58,432 --> 00:26:01,893
They go to South Beach.
They have gravy boats.
489
00:26:01,977 --> 00:26:03,895
A maid comes and cleans up in the morning.
Come on.
490
00:26:03,979 --> 00:26:08,400
They won't mind me using these awesome
tchotchkes for my table-scape, will they?
491
00:26:08,484 --> 00:26:09,943
We have to cancel.
492
00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:14,615
We have to cancel.
You have to cancel the whole thing.
493
00:26:14,698 --> 00:26:18,494
Cal, [stammers] I can't host
people here... all right?
494
00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:20,579
Not... under these circumstances.
495
00:26:20,662 --> 00:26:22,789
All right?
It just... It does not feel right.
496
00:26:22,873 --> 00:26:26,377
No, yeah, you're right, man.
We... we should cancel.
497
00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:31,757
We'll cancel.
We'll cover the mirrors, sit shivah.
498
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,926
It's what your... people do, right?
499
00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:37,304
It's when someone dies, Cal.
She's not dead.
500
00:26:37,388 --> 00:26:39,223
Exactly.
501
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:42,058
Look, I love my sister... dude,
502
00:26:42,143 --> 00:26:44,228
but she got herself sent to the hoosegow.
503
00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:45,812
And now she's clearly
pulled some other shit
504
00:26:45,896 --> 00:26:47,773
to get herself into even more trouble.
505
00:26:47,856 --> 00:26:50,901
You... you have done
everything that you can do.
506
00:26:50,984 --> 00:26:54,655
And Piper would love the fact
that you're throwing Thanksgiving!
507
00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:58,950
Our friends are coming,
the maid is coming tomorrow.
508
00:26:59,034 --> 00:27:04,956
And I've spent my entire life-savings
on this... this marvelous turkey.
509
00:27:05,874 --> 00:27:07,584
She'd want us to celebrate.
510
00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:10,671
I'm sure she's fine.
511
00:27:12,548 --> 00:27:14,090
[banging]
512
00:27:15,842 --> 00:27:17,719
[Shannon screams]
513
00:27:20,722 --> 00:27:21,848
Chapman?
514
00:27:23,099 --> 00:27:24,560
Mr. Healy?
515
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:25,686
How are you?
516
00:27:27,896 --> 00:27:30,607
I'm in a cement box
and people are screaming.
517
00:27:31,942 --> 00:27:35,111
You needed a little time-out
to think about your behavior.
518
00:27:35,196 --> 00:27:36,530
My what?
519
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,201
I was dancing.
520
00:27:40,284 --> 00:27:42,828
Provocatively. Sexually.
521
00:27:42,911 --> 00:27:44,288
Gay sexually.
522
00:27:44,371 --> 00:27:47,165
This is illegal.
You can't keep me in here.
523
00:27:47,249 --> 00:27:49,167
See, there's where you're wrong.
524
00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:53,630
Chapman, I tried to be nice to you,
because I understand where you come from.
525
00:27:53,714 --> 00:27:55,799
You don't know me.
526
00:27:55,882 --> 00:27:58,677
I thought we could be friends.
527
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,638
You're not yourself lately.
You're acting out.
528
00:28:01,722 --> 00:28:03,224
So you're teaching me a lesson?
529
00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:05,058
You should be thanking me.
530
00:28:06,352 --> 00:28:08,144
Alex Vause is sick.
531
00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:11,357
I get you.
532
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:12,858
You're not like her.
533
00:28:15,444 --> 00:28:18,029
The only sicko here...
534
00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:19,240
is you.
535
00:28:20,657 --> 00:28:23,994
And under different circumstances, what?
536
00:28:24,077 --> 00:28:25,996
I'd be your girlfriend?
537
00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:28,290
Is that it?
538
00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:31,460
Did I make you jealous?
539
00:28:33,670 --> 00:28:38,300
You put me in this hellhole for no reason.
540
00:28:39,260 --> 00:28:41,220
Wake up, Healy!
541
00:28:42,263 --> 00:28:43,889
Girls like me?
542
00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:49,185
We don't fuck ignorant, pretentious
old men with weird lesbian obsessions!
543
00:28:49,270 --> 00:28:52,648
We go for tall, hot girls...
544
00:28:54,149 --> 00:28:56,943
and... and we fucking... love it!
545
00:28:58,487 --> 00:29:02,073
So that leaves you... on the outside...
546
00:29:02,157 --> 00:29:06,287
living your sad, sad little life.
547
00:29:06,370 --> 00:29:09,873
You don't get me! Ever!
548
00:29:11,542 --> 00:29:13,335
So go fuck yourself!
549
00:29:16,129 --> 00:29:18,257
Happy Thanksgiving, Chapman.
550
00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:26,932
[Shannon screaming indistinctly]
551
00:29:28,016 --> 00:29:29,518
[Shannon crying]
552
00:29:39,069 --> 00:29:40,987
Where's my mattress?
553
00:29:41,863 --> 00:29:43,449
Where the fuck is my mattress?
What did you do to it?
554
00:29:43,532 --> 00:29:44,825
[snorts]
555
00:29:47,578 --> 00:29:49,413
Oh, fucking crackhead.
556
00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:56,044
[O'Neill gasps]
Yes!
557
00:29:59,715 --> 00:30:01,925
My bunkie stole my mattress.
558
00:30:02,008 --> 00:30:03,302
[O'Neill]
Yeah. And?
559
00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:05,929
It's gone. It's not there.
560
00:30:06,012 --> 00:30:07,138
Then how do you know it was stolen?
561
00:30:07,222 --> 00:30:09,265
Because it's not on my bed...
562
00:30:09,350 --> 00:30:11,017
and she and her hick friend
have been fucking with me.
563
00:30:11,101 --> 00:30:12,102
I need a new one.
564
00:30:12,185 --> 00:30:15,314
Okay, we issue one mattress per inmate.
You can fill out a form.
565
00:30:15,397 --> 00:30:17,441
It'll take a couple of weeks
to replace it.
566
00:30:17,524 --> 00:30:19,192
And what am I supposed to do
in the meantime?
567
00:30:19,275 --> 00:30:20,486
Sleep on the frame?
568
00:30:20,569 --> 00:30:23,154
It's quite good for you.
A hard surface aligns the vertebrae.
569
00:30:23,238 --> 00:30:25,366
Your body will thank you.
Excuse me.
570
00:30:27,868 --> 00:30:29,661
[loud rock music playing]
571
00:30:29,745 --> 00:30:30,871
Who are you?
572
00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:34,458
I'm Alex.
573
00:30:37,127 --> 00:30:38,920
I'm your daughter.
574
00:30:40,046 --> 00:30:41,214
[sighs heavily]
575
00:30:44,134 --> 00:30:45,469
Holy shit.
576
00:30:50,641 --> 00:30:51,892
How'd you find me?
577
00:30:51,975 --> 00:30:56,480
Well, I saw the show.
And then the manager sent me back here.
578
00:30:57,481 --> 00:30:59,691
Oh, you saw that shit?
That was embarrassing.
579
00:30:59,775 --> 00:31:02,569
We can't even fill
a fucking basement anymore.
580
00:31:02,653 --> 00:31:05,364
If one more jerk-off asks me
to play Dirty Girl...
581
00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:07,741
I wish I had never written
that fucking song.
582
00:31:07,824 --> 00:31:11,119
It is a great song.
That is still a great song.
583
00:31:11,202 --> 00:31:12,746
Oh, shut up, Lonnie.
584
00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:15,123
We're supposed to be in Philly,
585
00:31:15,206 --> 00:31:18,334
but Jimmy over here punched
the booking agent in the neck.
586
00:31:20,796 --> 00:31:24,257
I can't believe you're my kid, man!
You're my kid!
587
00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:27,594
I'm so happy to see you.
588
00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:29,930
Yeah. Me, too.
589
00:31:30,013 --> 00:31:33,141
'Cause I would've never recognized you
in a million years.
590
00:31:34,810 --> 00:31:36,437
And you got a serious rack on you, too.
591
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,189
I mean, I could have
accidentally fucked her, right?
592
00:31:39,272 --> 00:31:40,399
But that would have been bad.
593
00:31:40,482 --> 00:31:43,819
No. Seriously, that's... that's twisted.
594
00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:45,361
I didn't say that.
595
00:31:46,321 --> 00:31:48,449
Um, is there a bathroom?
596
00:31:48,532 --> 00:31:50,451
-Is there a bathroom?
-[chuckling] It's down there.
597
00:31:50,534 --> 00:31:51,660
Right. Thank you.
598
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:55,456
[Lonnie] Her rack?
599
00:31:55,539 --> 00:31:57,207
That would've been fucked up.
600
00:31:57,290 --> 00:31:58,917
Wow.
601
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,877
[Lonnie laughing] Her fucking rack.
602
00:32:06,842 --> 00:32:07,968
[sighs]
603
00:32:08,051 --> 00:32:09,302
[sniffling]
604
00:32:28,196 --> 00:32:29,823
Jesus, you scared me.
605
00:32:29,906 --> 00:32:31,700
You okay?
606
00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:35,621
I'm fine.
I'm just... I'm just gonna go home.
607
00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:37,623
He's not what you thought.
608
00:32:41,292 --> 00:32:42,753
It's fucking depressing.
[scoffs]
609
00:32:42,836 --> 00:32:46,297
Been imagining this moment
your whole life?
610
00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:51,470
I had this white fringe pleather jacket
611
00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:54,097
I always thought I'd wear
if I ever met him.
612
00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:57,726
Nice, pleather. [chuckles]
What happened?
613
00:32:59,185 --> 00:33:00,436
You're right.
614
00:33:02,355 --> 00:33:04,399
Maybe that would've made the difference.
615
00:33:05,901 --> 00:33:07,277
Most people...
616
00:33:08,278 --> 00:33:10,614
are better in the abstract.
617
00:33:11,907 --> 00:33:13,408
It's Alex, right?
618
00:33:15,326 --> 00:33:16,369
Yeah.
619
00:33:16,452 --> 00:33:17,453
Fahri.
620
00:33:19,915 --> 00:33:21,041
You want a bump?
621
00:33:21,124 --> 00:33:22,834
[chuckles] No, thanks.
622
00:33:22,918 --> 00:33:24,252
Smart girl.
623
00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:28,423
Fahri, what are you doing
hanging out with these losers?
624
00:33:29,591 --> 00:33:31,176
Uh...
625
00:33:31,259 --> 00:33:32,886
They're my clients.
626
00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:36,097
What do you do?
627
00:33:36,181 --> 00:33:38,892
I work for an international drug cartel.
628
00:33:38,975 --> 00:33:40,977
[laughs]
629
00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:42,103
Right.
630
00:33:45,231 --> 00:33:46,650
[groans]
631
00:33:50,946 --> 00:33:52,948
Will you get Gloria?
I'm dying.
632
00:33:55,826 --> 00:33:57,035
You're not dying.
633
00:33:58,078 --> 00:33:59,746
Here.
634
00:33:59,830 --> 00:34:01,206
Serves you right...
635
00:34:01,289 --> 00:34:04,209
for drinking some stupid potion
from some half-assed santera.
636
00:34:04,292 --> 00:34:07,087
-Who told you?
-She told me.
637
00:34:07,170 --> 00:34:10,340
So I told her to give you
some roots and berries.
638
00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:13,218
Make you shit your brains out
and learn your lesson.
639
00:34:13,301 --> 00:34:16,304
So the tea was bullshit?
It's not gonna work?
640
00:34:16,387 --> 00:34:19,891
You think I'm gonna let you
ice my grandbaby? Pfft.
641
00:34:19,975 --> 00:34:21,560
You want me to end up like you?
642
00:34:21,643 --> 00:34:23,562
I'm already in prison.
643
00:34:23,645 --> 00:34:27,440
All I need is five different baby daddies
and an ass tattoo of a dog.
644
00:34:27,523 --> 00:34:28,942
It's a wolf.
645
00:34:32,988 --> 00:34:35,073
Daya, I made mistakes, okay?
646
00:34:35,156 --> 00:34:37,701
I didn't have nobody
teaching me what to do.
647
00:34:37,784 --> 00:34:40,286
Oh, get away from me.
648
00:34:40,370 --> 00:34:43,289
-Maybe I'm not the mother of the year...
-Oh, you think?
649
00:34:43,373 --> 00:34:46,877
But at least I put something
into this world that could still be good.
650
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,086
I made something.
651
00:34:49,170 --> 00:34:51,547
I fucked up my own life...
652
00:34:51,632 --> 00:34:54,259
but Eva, Lucy and Christina,
653
00:34:54,342 --> 00:34:58,722
Emiliano...
even you could still be something.
654
00:34:59,765 --> 00:35:01,933
Babies give you hope.
655
00:35:37,427 --> 00:35:38,511
Fuck.
656
00:35:38,594 --> 00:35:40,263
[both chuckling]
657
00:36:00,951 --> 00:36:02,118
Oh, my God.
658
00:36:04,620 --> 00:36:06,081
There's mold.
659
00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:11,670
There's mold on the bologna.
660
00:36:12,628 --> 00:36:14,005
Oh, my God.
661
00:36:15,631 --> 00:36:17,092
[voice] I found a maggot.
662
00:36:25,558 --> 00:36:26,768
Hello?
663
00:36:29,980 --> 00:36:31,439
Is someone there?
664
00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:34,234
[voice] Are you real?
665
00:36:36,236 --> 00:36:39,865
Yes. Yes, I'm real.
Are you... are you real?
666
00:36:42,117 --> 00:36:43,618
[voice] I don't know.
667
00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:49,499
I'm gonna take a bus
all the way to the Bronx,
668
00:36:49,582 --> 00:36:51,084
right to Angelo's Pizza,
669
00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:53,044
and I'm gonna get a giant slice
with the works.
670
00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:55,338
But just one... because after,
671
00:36:55,421 --> 00:36:58,383
we're gonna have a big old Thanksgiving
at my cousin, Neicey, house,
672
00:36:58,466 --> 00:37:01,970
and we probably gonna go out dancing
at the Monte Carlo Room,
673
00:37:02,053 --> 00:37:07,642
and I'ma order a Sex on the Beach
with 10 maraschino cherries in it,
674
00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:10,145
and some man gonna buy it for me.
675
00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:11,772
[both laugh]
676
00:37:14,190 --> 00:37:16,234
Well, that sounds like a plan.
677
00:37:18,028 --> 00:37:22,198
You know, ain't no one on the outside
gonna do my 'do for a can of Pepsi.
678
00:37:22,282 --> 00:37:23,784
Which you still owe me, by the way.
679
00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:25,118
[chuckles]
680
00:37:25,201 --> 00:37:28,079
Jefferson... they're releasing you now.
Van's leaving.
681
00:37:28,163 --> 00:37:31,249
Right now?
I gotta say my goodbyes.
682
00:37:31,332 --> 00:37:34,585
It's a holiday.
COs wanna go home and see their families.
683
00:37:34,669 --> 00:37:37,130
If you don't go now,
you're not getting out till Monday.
684
00:37:37,213 --> 00:37:38,464
Let's go.
685
00:37:39,715 --> 00:37:41,259
Yo! Where's Poussey at?
686
00:37:42,552 --> 00:37:44,220
Jefferson! Now.
687
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,273
What the fuck? What the fuck?
They already took her?
688
00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:56,732
I didn't even say goodbye.
689
00:37:58,484 --> 00:38:02,280
Taystee! Yo! Tays!
690
00:38:02,363 --> 00:38:04,324
She can't hear you.
691
00:38:04,407 --> 00:38:05,741
[banging on window]
692
00:38:08,912 --> 00:38:10,746
[chuckles]
693
00:38:13,583 --> 00:38:15,210
[inmates chuckling]
694
00:38:26,096 --> 00:38:27,305
-[Polly] Hello?
-Hello!
695
00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:28,473
-[Pete] Hello!
-Hi!
696
00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:31,977
Come in, new family. [kisses]
Hello, happy Thanksgiving.
697
00:38:32,060 --> 00:38:34,187
-Ooh, your parents have a nice place.
-Yeah.
698
00:38:34,270 --> 00:38:35,313
-Cal!
-Hi.
699
00:38:35,396 --> 00:38:37,648
-Hi. Do you know Pete?
-Mmm-mmm. No.
700
00:38:37,732 --> 00:38:39,359
And this is Finn.
701
00:38:39,442 --> 00:38:42,278
[chuckles] Wow.
702
00:38:42,362 --> 00:38:43,363
He looks like Steve Buscemi.
703
00:38:43,446 --> 00:38:45,531
Congratulations, man.
704
00:38:45,615 --> 00:38:47,325
[Pete] Gotta wash your hands first.
705
00:38:47,408 --> 00:38:48,493
[Larry] Isn't that just to touch the baby?
706
00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:50,996
And to touch me, too.
Polly's being a total nutter.
707
00:38:51,079 --> 00:38:53,748
If it were up to Pete, he'd let him
suck on the bottom of his shoe.
708
00:38:53,832 --> 00:38:55,834
I hope you guys don't mind,
but we brought a stray.
709
00:38:55,917 --> 00:38:58,544
-Larry, this is our friend, Maury.
-Hi.
710
00:38:59,462 --> 00:39:00,964
Yeah, Maury Kind.
711
00:39:01,047 --> 00:39:03,633
I'm sorry, you're not a stray.
You're Maury Kind from NPR!
712
00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:05,635
-Guilty.
-Oh, my God, I love you.
713
00:39:05,718 --> 00:39:09,014
I love your show.
I mean, I love... [stutters] I love you.
714
00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:10,431
-[chuckles] Thank you.
-[Polly] Wow.
715
00:39:10,515 --> 00:39:11,557
-Back off, Larry.
-[Larry] Sorry, sorry.
716
00:39:11,641 --> 00:39:14,102
-Where should we put our stuff?
-Put it in the kitchen, follow me.
717
00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:15,728
You come meet my girlfriend!
718
00:39:15,811 --> 00:39:19,274
Don't get in her way, Cal!
She's got an angry, red vagina.
719
00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:21,734
She's been drinking rum punch
since 10:00 a.m.
720
00:39:21,817 --> 00:39:23,278
Thank God we pumped.
721
00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:26,156
I cannot believe you brought Maury Kind.
722
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,741
Yeah, I'm mixing sound on Urban Tales.
723
00:39:28,824 --> 00:39:31,077
He's going through a divorce,
so I invited him.
724
00:39:31,161 --> 00:39:35,748
-I didn't know you'd geek out so hard.
-You know, I'd love to talk to him.
725
00:39:35,831 --> 00:39:37,250
Well, it'd be weird if you didn't.
726
00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:40,045
Besides, he read your "Modern Love"
column and loved it.
727
00:39:40,128 --> 00:39:42,713
-Stop it. Seriously?
-Uh-huh.
728
00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:43,798
Holy shit.
729
00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:45,008
[Pete] Hey!
730
00:39:45,091 --> 00:39:47,385
-Your language.
-Huh? Sorry.
731
00:39:47,468 --> 00:39:48,511
Shh.
732
00:39:48,594 --> 00:39:49,762
[Piper] What an asshole.
733
00:39:50,846 --> 00:39:55,643
I can't believe... I cannot believe people
like him are even allowed to work here.
734
00:39:55,726 --> 00:40:00,106
They take these insecure...
and frustrated men
735
00:40:00,190 --> 00:40:02,442
and they put them in charge of
a bunch of powerless women
736
00:40:02,525 --> 00:40:05,987
and they become these predatory... creeps.
737
00:40:06,071 --> 00:40:11,701
I mean, all of that condescending...
"I know what's best for you" bullshit.
738
00:40:11,784 --> 00:40:14,829
[voice] You can rage...
but they always win.
739
00:40:16,081 --> 00:40:18,041
They're the ones with the keys.
740
00:40:19,209 --> 00:40:20,876
How long have you been down here?
741
00:40:21,962 --> 00:40:24,339
[voice] I've lost track.
I don't know.
742
00:40:25,465 --> 00:40:27,092
Nine months?
743
00:40:27,175 --> 00:40:28,551
A year?
744
00:40:30,803 --> 00:40:32,180
A year?
745
00:40:35,225 --> 00:40:36,642
That's insane.
746
00:40:36,726 --> 00:40:40,981
[voice] They keep the lights on...
so you lose all sense of time.
747
00:40:41,064 --> 00:40:42,315
It's not living.
748
00:40:42,398 --> 00:40:46,027
I mean, yeah, you're breathing...
but you ain't no person no more.
749
00:40:46,111 --> 00:40:47,946
It's bad.
750
00:40:48,029 --> 00:40:50,698
You start to see shit that ain't there.
751
00:40:51,741 --> 00:40:53,076
You start to hear voices.
752
00:40:53,159 --> 00:40:54,535
Oh, my God.
753
00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:57,705
[voice]
They keep you here till they break you.
754
00:40:58,873 --> 00:41:00,875
[gulps] I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
755
00:41:04,004 --> 00:41:05,671
Why did I do that?
756
00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:09,217
Why did I say those things?
757
00:41:11,761 --> 00:41:14,514
He's never going to let me out of here.
758
00:41:16,349 --> 00:41:20,145
I am so fucking stupid.
759
00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:24,524
I am so... fucking... stupid!
760
00:41:24,607 --> 00:41:26,442
What's wrong with me?
761
00:41:26,526 --> 00:41:27,902
[sobbing]
762
00:41:29,279 --> 00:41:30,905
[voice] You still there?
763
00:41:38,121 --> 00:41:43,084
I swear to God that
if... they let me out of here...
764
00:41:49,924 --> 00:41:51,884
I will shut up.
765
00:41:51,967 --> 00:41:53,553
I will shut up...
766
00:41:53,636 --> 00:41:57,223
and I will put my head down
and I will do my time
767
00:41:57,307 --> 00:42:02,645
and I'll smile at Healy and I...
[crying] I won't go near her.
768
00:42:02,728 --> 00:42:04,855
I won't even look at her.
769
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:08,693
I can do that.
I can do that. I can.
770
00:42:09,985 --> 00:42:11,404
Please.
771
00:42:13,948 --> 00:42:16,076
Please don't leave me here.
772
00:42:18,453 --> 00:42:20,080
Please.
773
00:42:20,163 --> 00:42:23,833
Hey, Vause, I know you're not working,
but can I get my bag?
774
00:42:23,916 --> 00:42:25,085
Yeah, just give me a sec.
775
00:42:25,168 --> 00:42:27,128
What happened to your glasses?
776
00:42:27,212 --> 00:42:29,255
[mimicking Pennsatucky]
Smashed in the name of Jesus.
777
00:42:29,339 --> 00:42:31,466
Oh, shit. Pennsatucky?
778
00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:34,427
Wow... you guys have released the kraken.
779
00:42:34,510 --> 00:42:37,388
She's decided it's her Christian duty
to annihilate me.
780
00:42:37,472 --> 00:42:39,765
Because I'm a "privileged rich girl."
[scoffs]
781
00:42:39,849 --> 00:42:41,267
Which is hilarious,
782
00:42:41,351 --> 00:42:44,270
because those types of girls
tortured me my whole fucking life.
783
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:49,192
If you and I had met in fifth grade...
you'd have made fun of my clothes.
784
00:42:50,443 --> 00:42:51,486
-[laughs]
-Who, me?
785
00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:53,529
No, no, no, no. I would never.
786
00:42:53,613 --> 00:42:55,865
-You look terrific.
-[sighs] Fuck!
787
00:42:55,948 --> 00:42:56,949
[Nicky chuckles]
788
00:42:58,993 --> 00:43:00,370
I know what you were like.
789
00:43:00,453 --> 00:43:02,122
Upper West Side...
790
00:43:03,373 --> 00:43:06,376
doorman building,
skiing in Jackson Hole.
791
00:43:06,459 --> 00:43:07,460
Am I wrong?
792
00:43:07,543 --> 00:43:09,545
-Who told you that shit?
-No one.
793
00:43:10,713 --> 00:43:13,508
My business was built on
sniffing out girls like you...
794
00:43:13,591 --> 00:43:15,135
and turning 'em into drug mules.
795
00:43:15,218 --> 00:43:17,970
I knew it.
You're a pimp.
796
00:43:18,053 --> 00:43:20,723
Man, you would've been perfect.
797
00:43:20,806 --> 00:43:24,102
Little Nicky at 19? Mmm!
I would've turned you out in two seconds.
798
00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:26,646
I'd make a terrible mule.
I would've done all your drugs.
799
00:43:26,729 --> 00:43:27,730
[Alex chuckles]
800
00:43:27,813 --> 00:43:30,941
Besides... okay, what makes you think
I would've fallen for your shit?
801
00:43:31,901 --> 00:43:34,529
Well, you grew up rich,
so you're used to easy money.
802
00:43:34,612 --> 00:43:37,448
You have enough stamps
in your passport to avoid suspicion.
803
00:43:37,532 --> 00:43:39,825
-You hate your parents.
-Yeah, totally.
804
00:43:39,909 --> 00:43:41,786
You're in your experimental phase.
805
00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:43,704
All you wanna do
is fuck a woman or black guy...
806
00:43:43,788 --> 00:43:45,706
-...have some adventure...
-Hmm. [chuckles]
807
00:43:45,790 --> 00:43:47,667
...and still be able to afford
a Birkin bag.
808
00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:49,001
-Shit, I'm in!
-[chuckles]
809
00:43:49,084 --> 00:43:50,753
Fuck it. You know me.
810
00:43:50,836 --> 00:43:52,087
Sign me up.
811
00:43:53,088 --> 00:43:54,590
Oh, was that who Piper was?
812
00:43:55,883 --> 00:43:57,843
No, no, Piper was different.
813
00:43:57,927 --> 00:43:59,262
Why? 'Cause you loved her?
814
00:44:01,431 --> 00:44:02,932
Because she was different.
815
00:44:06,101 --> 00:44:07,603
Get some glue, pimp.
816
00:44:09,814 --> 00:44:10,856
[sighs]
817
00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:12,024
Fuck.
818
00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:18,573
Crystal is in love with her pastor.
819
00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:20,533
Ah. [clicks tongue]
820
00:44:20,616 --> 00:44:22,076
I'm not surprised.
821
00:44:23,161 --> 00:44:26,789
A lot of women lust after their pastors,
it's very common.
822
00:44:26,872 --> 00:44:28,916
And pastors can do that.
823
00:44:28,999 --> 00:44:31,627
Priests have to learn
to bounce their eyes.
824
00:44:31,711 --> 00:44:33,213
Um, what's that?
825
00:44:33,296 --> 00:44:37,800
You never stay focused on a member
of the opposite sex for too long.
826
00:44:37,883 --> 00:44:40,178
That's how I watch
every Russell Crowe movie.
827
00:44:40,261 --> 00:44:41,637
[chuckles]
828
00:44:44,349 --> 00:44:45,850
She wants my blessing.
829
00:44:46,934 --> 00:44:49,604
-Then you should give it to her.
-Why?
830
00:44:51,772 --> 00:44:53,691
I don't understand why she needs
to have sex.
831
00:44:53,774 --> 00:44:56,361
I mean... [chuckles] look at you.
832
00:44:56,444 --> 00:44:58,195
I'm a nun, I took a vow.
833
00:44:58,279 --> 00:44:59,572
She married a man with a penis,
834
00:44:59,655 --> 00:45:01,824
I assume because
she wanted to use it occasionally.
835
00:45:02,950 --> 00:45:05,995
[sighs] How much time do you have left?
836
00:45:06,078 --> 00:45:07,204
[sighs]
837
00:45:07,288 --> 00:45:09,123
Three years, eight months.
838
00:45:09,206 --> 00:45:12,543
You got what you needed
at a pretty big cost to your family.
839
00:45:12,627 --> 00:45:14,211
This is what she needs.
840
00:45:15,338 --> 00:45:17,840
Doesn't Crystal deserve some happiness?
841
00:45:18,799 --> 00:45:19,842
Let her go.
842
00:45:21,051 --> 00:45:22,262
I can't.
843
00:45:22,345 --> 00:45:24,597
It's the right thing to do.
844
00:45:26,474 --> 00:45:27,892
[guests laughing and chattering]
845
00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:30,019
[Polly] Did you want
some more sweet potatoes?
846
00:45:35,608 --> 00:45:37,234
So, Neri, what do you do?
847
00:45:37,318 --> 00:45:39,028
I'm a hyperbaric welder.
848
00:45:39,111 --> 00:45:43,658
Yeah, I used to work on the pipelines...
but now I just normal weld.
849
00:45:43,741 --> 00:45:45,535
-Isn't she a badass?
-[laughs]
850
00:45:45,618 --> 00:45:48,120
We met when I was fabricating
some sculptures.
851
00:45:48,203 --> 00:45:51,291
Hmm, I have so many burn scars,
Cal and I are naming them.
852
00:45:51,374 --> 00:45:56,045
Oh, oh! Speaking of scars, how was it?
The whole birth thing?
853
00:45:56,128 --> 00:45:57,129
Did you eat your placenta?
854
00:45:57,212 --> 00:45:58,923
No. We passed on that.
855
00:45:59,006 --> 00:46:01,884
[Cal] Oh, it's really good for you.
Crazy nutrients.
856
00:46:01,967 --> 00:46:04,178
People dehydrate it
and make it into pills,
857
00:46:04,261 --> 00:46:06,055
but that's the expensive way.
858
00:46:06,138 --> 00:46:08,474
I always just thought you could,
like, scramble it up.
859
00:46:08,558 --> 00:46:12,186
[chuckles] Just, like, put it in a pan
with some salt and pepper. [pops]
860
00:46:12,269 --> 00:46:15,731
Bam! It sounds gross...
but possibly delicious.
861
00:46:15,815 --> 00:46:18,025
Throw some sage in there, too.
862
00:46:18,108 --> 00:46:19,109
Do you still have it?
863
00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:20,320
I don't.
864
00:46:20,403 --> 00:46:22,613
Pete, you're dropping food on his head.
865
00:46:24,073 --> 00:46:28,328
So, yeah, you know, we both decided
to stick it out, you know.
866
00:46:28,411 --> 00:46:33,290
I mean, it... it hasn't been easy, but,
you know, relationships... are not easy.
867
00:46:33,374 --> 00:46:34,375
-Right? [chuckles]
-Right. Yeah.
868
00:46:34,459 --> 00:46:37,378
Well, I thought your column
was an interesting perspective.
869
00:46:37,462 --> 00:46:41,507
-You know, the long-suffering husband.
-Fiancé.
870
00:46:41,591 --> 00:46:43,843
I mean, I didn't really mean for it
to come off that way.
871
00:46:43,926 --> 00:46:45,970
No. No, no, no, it was very entertaining.
872
00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:48,055
-Thank you... Yeah.
-Yeah.
873
00:46:48,138 --> 00:46:50,433
-Well, I'm a big fan of yours. I mean...
-Oh, well.
874
00:46:50,516 --> 00:46:53,143
I just... Yeah, I love your show and...
875
00:46:53,227 --> 00:46:56,939
I was just listening...
to the one on road trips--
876
00:46:57,022 --> 00:47:00,109
Cal, the turkey is... is amazing.
877
00:47:00,192 --> 00:47:03,070
-It's perfectly cooked.
-Thanks, man. It's a heritage bird.
878
00:47:03,153 --> 00:47:05,072
Actually, Maury, um...
879
00:47:05,155 --> 00:47:12,079
[stutters] I was thinking that...
my story would work really well aloud.
880
00:47:12,162 --> 00:47:14,415
-Right.
-You know, 'cause I consider myself
881
00:47:14,499 --> 00:47:17,001
a much better... verbal storyteller.
882
00:47:17,084 --> 00:47:18,127
-Right.
-You know, I don't know if you ever--
883
00:47:18,210 --> 00:47:20,546
Cal, what is a heritage...
I'm sorry, what was that?
884
00:47:20,630 --> 00:47:25,926
Sorry. No, I didn't know if you ever were
open to maybe... doing a prison episode.
885
00:47:26,010 --> 00:47:28,804
You know,
if you ever had guests like me on.
886
00:47:29,722 --> 00:47:31,849
Yeah. The thing is,
if we wanted to document prison,
887
00:47:31,932 --> 00:47:34,685
we'd probably... talk to actual inmates.
888
00:47:34,769 --> 00:47:38,731
And if we were gonna do a story about
someone whose loved one was in prison,
889
00:47:38,814 --> 00:47:41,191
we'd find a more representative example.
890
00:47:41,275 --> 00:47:44,236
Cycle of poverty... that sort of thing.
891
00:47:44,319 --> 00:47:49,074
Right. Yeah, no, that... [stutters]
I get... That makes sense. I get it.
892
00:47:49,158 --> 00:47:51,994
But, you know, we...
893
00:47:52,077 --> 00:47:56,081
we are working on a show
about unique long-distance relationships.
894
00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:58,793
You know, a guy who works
down on the ice every year,
895
00:47:58,876 --> 00:48:00,503
a pair of married missionaries.
896
00:48:00,586 --> 00:48:01,921
Your story could be good on that.
897
00:48:02,004 --> 00:48:03,548
-Really?
-Yeah.
898
00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:06,300
Wow. Yeah. I mean...
899
00:48:06,383 --> 00:48:08,928
Wow, I would... I would love that.
900
00:48:09,011 --> 00:48:10,555
I mean, I would... love to do that.
901
00:48:10,638 --> 00:48:11,806
[Cal] Hey, toast!
[Neri] Yes!
902
00:48:11,889 --> 00:48:13,766
[Cal] Toast.
[Pete] Cheers.
903
00:48:13,849 --> 00:48:15,685
-Happy Thanksgiving.
-Happy Thanksgiving.
904
00:48:15,768 --> 00:48:16,769
Eye contact.
905
00:48:16,852 --> 00:48:17,895
-Happy Thanksgiving.
-Perfect.
906
00:48:17,978 --> 00:48:20,022
[inmates talking indistinctly]
907
00:48:33,619 --> 00:48:35,287
[Big Boo] No gravy?
908
00:48:36,246 --> 00:48:37,247
Why is there no gravy?
909
00:48:37,331 --> 00:48:38,999
You complaining?
910
00:48:39,709 --> 00:48:42,002
Uh, no, ma'am. No, no, no.
911
00:48:42,086 --> 00:48:43,963
Come on, Little Boo.
Let's not complain.
912
00:48:44,046 --> 00:48:45,255
I don't know why you threw it out.
913
00:48:45,339 --> 00:48:47,132
I tried it.
It tasted great to me.
914
00:48:51,721 --> 00:48:56,476
I'm thankful for my health...
for my strong body and mind.
915
00:48:56,559 --> 00:48:58,185
And for you girls,
916
00:48:58,268 --> 00:49:02,690
who remind me every day
that self-forgiveness is possible.
917
00:49:03,774 --> 00:49:05,025
[Nicky] Hmm.
918
00:49:05,109 --> 00:49:07,402
I'm thankful that Taystee got
the fuck out of this dump.
919
00:49:07,487 --> 00:49:08,988
Yeah, I'll second that.
920
00:49:09,071 --> 00:49:12,032
I'm thankful for my new bitch, Little Boo.
921
00:49:12,116 --> 00:49:14,619
-Sit, hooker. Ah! Good girl.
-[dog barks]
922
00:49:14,702 --> 00:49:16,829
-There you go.
-[inmates chuckle]
923
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,541
Oh, and, of course,
I'm thankful for all y'all other bitches.
924
00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:21,751
[inmates chuckle]
925
00:49:21,834 --> 00:49:23,586
Do you wanna say grace, Sister?
926
00:49:26,171 --> 00:49:27,673
[Sister Ingalls] I trust in the Lord...
927
00:49:27,757 --> 00:49:29,341
with all my heart...
928
00:49:30,425 --> 00:49:33,763
and lean not on my own understanding.
929
00:49:33,846 --> 00:49:34,889
Amen.
930
00:49:34,972 --> 00:49:36,348
Amen.
931
00:49:36,431 --> 00:49:38,267
[Poussey] Amen.
932
00:49:42,938 --> 00:49:44,565
Man, it sucks to get glasses replaced,
933
00:49:44,649 --> 00:49:47,234
you have to get someone on the outside
to fill your prescription. [scoffs]
934
00:49:47,317 --> 00:49:48,569
How blind are you?
935
00:49:49,529 --> 00:49:50,780
Blindish.
936
00:49:51,947 --> 00:49:54,199
Bright side, you can't see
the color of these potatoes.
937
00:49:54,283 --> 00:49:55,535
[chuckles]
938
00:49:59,288 --> 00:50:01,832
It doesn't feel right to be eating
while she's in there.
939
00:50:01,916 --> 00:50:04,001
Straight girls. [scoffs]
940
00:50:04,084 --> 00:50:05,670
They'll fuck you up every time.
941
00:50:32,196 --> 00:50:33,864
[inmate screams]
942
00:50:55,344 --> 00:50:56,553
Hey!
943
00:50:57,972 --> 00:50:59,514
Hey. [knocks]
944
00:50:59,599 --> 00:51:01,767
Did you get this loaf thing?
945
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,731
Looks like three different dinners
mushed together into a mound.
946
00:51:07,982 --> 00:51:09,316
Are you looking at it?
947
00:51:12,778 --> 00:51:13,946
Hello?
948
00:51:15,072 --> 00:51:16,323
Can you hear me?
949
00:51:23,455 --> 00:51:25,499
Please tell me that you're still there.
950
00:51:29,544 --> 00:51:30,630
[Caputo] You can't leave her in there.
951
00:51:30,713 --> 00:51:32,798
I don't know what the hell she's doing
in seg in the first place.
952
00:51:32,882 --> 00:51:36,593
Christ, even Mendez...
said it was uncalled for
953
00:51:36,677 --> 00:51:38,638
and that guy lives
to throw people in the box.
954
00:51:38,721 --> 00:51:40,514
-You're not my boss.
-Today I am.
955
00:51:40,597 --> 00:51:41,974
Fig is on vacation.
956
00:51:42,057 --> 00:51:43,934
And I am telling you...
957
00:51:44,018 --> 00:51:48,063
I don't have the write-ups
or the paperwork to support it.
958
00:51:48,147 --> 00:51:51,316
She got under your skin, Sam.
This is personal.
959
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,986
She thinks she's running the place.
960
00:51:54,069 --> 00:51:56,280
[Caputo] You don't have to tell me that.
961
00:51:56,363 --> 00:52:00,534
Her fiancé is raising a stink
bigger than the shit I took this morning.
962
00:52:00,617 --> 00:52:03,120
Christ, he's probably got the Obamas
on the phone by now.
963
00:52:03,203 --> 00:52:06,248
These liberal, wealthy offenders,
they're connected.
964
00:52:07,207 --> 00:52:11,503
And if they review this...
the paper trail is going to be sweaty.
965
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,925
So do us all a favor
and get her out of there.
966
00:52:16,008 --> 00:52:18,052
It's not even 48 hours.
967
00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:19,594
Get her out of there.
968
00:52:24,599 --> 00:52:26,977
[inmates praying in Spanish]
969
00:52:33,901 --> 00:52:35,444
[Gloria] Mmm-hmm.
[Aleida] Mmm-hmm.
970
00:52:35,527 --> 00:52:36,528
Mmm-mmm.
971
00:52:39,406 --> 00:52:42,743
I'm sorry you feeling like shit, chica,
but I had to do it.
972
00:52:43,953 --> 00:52:45,705
It's okay.
I'm relieved, actually.
973
00:52:54,504 --> 00:52:55,756
[whispering] I wanna keep it.
974
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:57,800
[speaking Spanish]
975
00:52:57,883 --> 00:52:59,885
But I don't wanna
get him in trouble, though.