1 00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:12,316 WOW, HONEY, THESE ARE AWESOME. 2 00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:15,101 FLOWERS ARE SO LAST YEAR. 3 00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:17,103 OH, THAT'S RIGHT. 4 00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:18,626 YOU HAVE OPINIONS NOW. 5 00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:20,280 DAD, LAST CHANCE. 6 00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:21,455 ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANNA BUY THESE FOR ME? 7 00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:23,109 THEY'RE SO COOL. 8 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:26,634 OH, JOE, I'M SO TEMPTED, BUT THEY'RE SO EXPENSIVE. 9 00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,332 WHAT DO YOU SAY WE REVISIT THIS CONVERSATION 10 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,724 WHEN YOUR FEET STOP GROWING? 11 00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,683 THAT'S NOT GONNA BE FOR, LIKE, TEN YEARS. 12 00:00:31,813 --> 00:00:34,686 BY THAT TIME, THEY'LL PROBABLY HAVE HOVER SHOES. 13 00:00:34,816 --> 00:00:36,035 YOU ALREADY HAVE HOVER SHOES. 14 00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,385 - I DO? - YEAH, WATCH. 15 00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:42,215 GO HOVER BY THE DOOR AND STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT THE SHOES. 16 00:00:43,303 --> 00:00:46,132 DO YOU REALIZE THAT THIS IS 17 00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,221 OUR FIRST PUBLIC APPEARANCE AS A COUPLE? 18 00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:49,701 I KNOW. 19 00:00:49,831 --> 00:00:51,137 EMILY HOBBS 20 00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,487 THE CHILDREN OF FEUDING FATHERS. 21 00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:56,273 WE'RE SO ROMEO AND JULIET. 22 00:00:56,403 --> 00:00:59,580 THE ROMANTIC PART, NOT THE DYING PART. 23 00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:02,192 NOT THAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO POSSIBLY DYING, 24 00:01:02,322 --> 00:01:04,368 BUT WHEN ARE YOU GONNA TELL YOUR DAD? 25 00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:05,630 I DON'T KNOW. 26 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:06,761 DOWN THE ROAD, WHEN THE MOMENT'S RIGHT. 27 00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:08,198 SOMEDAY, YOU KNOW. NEVER. 28 00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:21,994 OOH, PRETTY DRESS. 29 00:01:22,995 --> 00:01:25,998 I SAID, "OOH, PRETTY DRESS!" 30 00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:31,046 I THINK I FOUND YOU THE PERFECT PAIR. 31 00:01:31,177 --> 00:01:34,093 I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT. 32 00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:38,184 HUH? 33 00:01:39,968 --> 00:01:41,970 UH, DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 34 00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:45,104 NOPE, BUT I HEAR THEY'RE A HOOT. 35 00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:46,627 GO. 36 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:52,807 I'M NEVER GONNA TAKE THESE OFF! 37 00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:55,854 UH, I--JUST A QUICK QUESTION, HOW LONG DO THE BATTERIES LAST? 38 00:01:55,984 --> 00:01:57,116 OH, THEY NEVER DIE. 39 00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:58,552 THEY'RE SOLAR. 40 00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:00,511 OH. 41 00:02:00,641 --> 00:02:02,165 AND FOR YOU, MR. HOBBS. 42 00:02:02,295 --> 00:02:03,775 OH, YES, I APPRECIATE THAT, 43 00:02:03,905 --> 00:02:06,821 BUT IF I'M GONNA BUY A, UH, WHAT IS THIS? 44 00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:10,695 A $300 PAIR OF SNEAKERS, THEY BETTER BE MADE OF $400, OKAY? 45 00:02:10,825 --> 00:02:12,000 SEE THAT, JOE? 46 00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:13,306 THE RULE APPLIES TO ME TOO. 47 00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:14,481 FOR BIG TIME CELEBRITIES, THEY'RE FREE. 48 00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:17,267 WELL THEN, LUCKILY I'M A BIG-TIME CELEBRITY. 49 00:02:17,397 --> 00:02:19,660 DAD, HOW COME YOU CAN GET 'EM, BUT I CAN'T? 50 00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:20,835 WELL, BECAUSE THEY'RE FREE. 51 00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,663 NOW COME ON, JOE. DON'T BE THAT GUY. 52 00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:23,925 WELL, YOU'RE ALL SET. 53 00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:27,799 OKAY. 54 00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:29,148 WATCH OUT! 55 00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:36,286 HEY, YOU GUYS OKAY? 56 00:02:36,416 --> 00:02:38,288 - FINE. FINE. - JOE, YOU FINE? 57 00:02:38,418 --> 00:02:39,724 YEAH, I'M OKAY. 58 00:02:39,854 --> 00:02:41,726 OH, THANK YOU. 59 00:02:41,856 --> 00:02:43,684 YOU'RE MY HERO. 60 00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:45,164 MINE TOO. 61 00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:46,078 MY BOSS TOLD ME TO BOLT DOWN 62 00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:47,906 THAT GIANT SHOE WEEKS AGO. 63 00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:49,864 I OWE YOU. - NO BIG DEAL. 64 00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:50,909 ARE YOU KIDDING ME, JOE? 65 00:02:51,039 --> 00:02:52,040 THIS IS A HUGE DEAL. 66 00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:53,607 YOU SAVED THAT WOMAN FROM GETTING HURT. 67 00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:54,869 REMEMBER THOSE SHOES YOU LOVED? 68 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,741 TAKE 'EM AS A THANK YOU. 69 00:02:56,871 --> 00:02:58,395 REALLY? CAN I? 70 00:02:58,525 --> 00:02:59,570 JOE, THERE'S 71 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:01,702 "NEVER TURN DOWN FREE STUFF." 72 00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:02,877 THANKS, PHIL. 73 00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:05,271 JANIE, PLAY US OUT. 74 00:03:35,823 --> 00:03:37,129 HEY, DAVID. 75 00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,435 ONE LARGE VANILLA BLENDED, 76 00:03:38,565 --> 00:03:40,088 NO SUGAR ADDED, EXTRA THICK. 77 00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:42,221 "THE DAVID." 78 00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:43,309 THEY CALL IT "THE DAVID" NOW? 79 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,834 NOT YET, BUT THEY WILL COME AROUND. 80 00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:47,835 THERE HE IS. THERE'S MY FAVORITE SON. 81 00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:48,749 HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY, JOE? 82 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,447 AMAZING. 83 00:03:50,577 --> 00:03:53,014 EVERYONE AT SCHOOL STARTED CALLING ME "HERO HOBBS." 84 00:03:54,581 --> 00:03:56,366 THE LUNCH LADY GAVE ME EXTRA TATER TOTS 85 00:03:56,496 --> 00:03:58,411 AND THE JOCK WHO TAKES EVERYONE'S TATER TOTS 86 00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,674 GAVE ME HIS TATER TOTS. 87 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:02,154 AND THE THREE GIRLS THAT EAT THE TATER TOTS 88 00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,112 THAT THE JOCK TAKES FROM ME 89 00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:05,897 SAID, "YOU GONNA EAT THOSE?" 90 00:04:06,027 --> 00:04:07,768 YEAH. 91 00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,161 COME ON. 92 00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,728 I AM SO LUCKY I DON'T LIKE TATER TOTS. 93 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:12,991 HEY, JOE. 94 00:04:13,121 --> 00:04:14,340 ONE LARGE BANANA BLENDED, 95 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,124 EXTRA SUGAR, WITH A CHOCOLATE BOOST. 96 00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:18,039 I CALL IT "THE HERO." 97 00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,477 THANK YOU, FITZY. 98 00:04:20,607 --> 00:04:22,827 UM, DID HE SAY FITZY OR SUCK-UP? 99 00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,352 UH, DAD, FITZY. FITZY, THAT'S MY DAD. 100 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:27,832 - HEY, MR. HOBBS. - HOW YOU DOING? 101 00:04:27,962 --> 00:04:29,703 YOU MUST BE SO PROUD OF YOUR JOE. 102 00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,966 WELL, I'LL TELL YA, THE FIRST NINE YEARS WERE GREAT, FITZY. 103 00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:34,621 BUT THE, UH--THE LAST YEAR WAS--IF I'M BEING HONEST-- 104 00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,101 THE EPISODES WERE A LITTLE WEAK. 105 00:04:36,231 --> 00:04:38,669 HE SAID JOE, NOT SHOW. 106 00:04:38,799 --> 00:04:42,586 YES, JOE--GOD--HEY, MY SON, HE'S THE BEST. 107 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:43,587 OH. 108 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:46,677 both: YES, MY HOBBS GOOGLE ALERT! 109 00:04:46,807 --> 00:04:48,418 JOE'S ABOUT TO BE ON THE NEWS! CHANNEL NINE! 110 00:04:48,548 --> 00:04:50,202 19 IF YOU WANT HD. 111 00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:53,118 WHAT? 112 00:04:53,248 --> 00:04:56,469 TODAY'S LOCAL HERO IS 6TH GRADER JOE HOBBS. 113 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,124 HE THOUGHT HE WAS JUST SHOPPING FOR SNEAKERS. 114 00:04:59,254 --> 00:05:02,257 BUT INSTEAD, HE WAS AT 115 00:05:02,388 --> 00:05:03,694 TO BECOME A HERO. 116 00:05:03,824 --> 00:05:06,218 HERE'S SOME CELL PHONE FOOTAGE AT THE SCENE. 117 00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:09,787 WATCH OUT! 118 00:05:09,917 --> 00:05:12,180 SOMETIMES, YOUR AVERAGE, EVERYDAY KID 119 00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:14,618 DOES SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY. 120 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:15,880 I LOVE THE SOUND OF THAT. 121 00:05:16,010 --> 00:05:17,142 HERO HOBBS. 122 00:05:17,272 --> 00:05:18,709 THAT IS FANTASTIC. 123 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:20,232 - YOU DA MAN! - THANKS, KEVIN. 124 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,886 YEAH, JOE, YOU DA MAN. 125 00:05:22,016 --> 00:05:24,671 OKAY, I JUST SAID THAT. LIKE-- 126 00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:31,678 PRINCESS BELLA, DR. MONKEY CHUNKS, 127 00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:33,811 WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT THE MALL TOGETHER? 128 00:05:33,941 --> 00:05:36,640 YOU KNOW YOUR DADS DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER. 129 00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:44,778 ALL RIGHT, SO, UH, WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE 130 00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:48,347 TO KEEP THIS OUR LITTLE SECRET? UH, GLITTER? STICKERS? 131 00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:51,829 WHAT AM I, FOUR? 132 00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:55,093 I WANT MAGIC WANDS AND PRINCESS DRESSES! 133 00:05:55,223 --> 00:05:58,226 SO LET'S MAKE THAT HAPPEN. 134 00:05:58,357 --> 00:06:00,359 YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT? 135 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,317 YOU'RE MY SISTER. WE'RE FAMILY. 136 00:06:02,448 --> 00:06:04,972 TICK-TOCK, EMILY. 137 00:06:05,103 --> 00:06:07,801 OH, AND I NEED A WATCH. 138 00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:13,677 SO LITTLE, YET SO SCARY. 139 00:06:15,243 --> 00:06:16,244 - HEY, HEY, PEOPLE. - HEY. 140 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:17,594 WHA--JOE! 141 00:06:17,724 --> 00:06:19,378 JOE, I JUST SAW THE NEWS. 142 00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:22,120 YOU ARE LIKE MY WIFE'S FAVORITE MIDNIGHT SNACK. 143 00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:24,514 A FOUR FOOT HERO. WHOO! 144 00:06:24,644 --> 00:06:26,211 STAND UP, BOY. 145 00:06:26,341 --> 00:06:28,082 JOE, YOU MOVE ME, MAN. 146 00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:30,998 YOU MOVE ME. 147 00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:34,349 IT'S GONNA BE AN HONOR TO SIT NEXT TO YOU AT THE LAKER GAME! 148 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,047 - WAH. YES. - OH, UH, ABOUT THAT. 149 00:06:36,177 --> 00:06:37,962 OH, YEAH, TELL ME YOU TALKED TO MY TICKET GUY. 150 00:06:38,092 --> 00:06:39,442 I DID, I GOT YOU THREE SEATS 151 00:06:39,572 --> 00:06:41,052 IN THE FOURTH ROW, RIGHT BEHIND THE BENCH. 152 00:06:41,182 --> 00:06:42,227 THE FOURTH ROW? 153 00:06:42,357 --> 00:06:44,838 WHAT AM I, AN ANIMAL? 154 00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:46,231 I CAN CALL A GUY. 155 00:06:46,361 --> 00:06:46,927 DAVID, I GOT THIS. 156 00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:49,582 STEP BACK, FITZY. 157 00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:52,455 HEY, GUYS. all: HEY. 158 00:06:52,585 --> 00:06:55,283 EVERYONE AT WORK SAW MY LITTLE LIFE-SAVER ON THE NEWS. 159 00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,460 I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. 160 00:06:57,590 --> 00:06:59,026 OOH. - TH-THANKS, MOM. 161 00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:01,594 JOE YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION. 162 00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:03,814 I FEEL LIKE GOING OUT THERE HELPING PEOPLE. 163 00:07:03,944 --> 00:07:05,903 I'M NOT GONNA DO IT, BUT IT'S STILL A GOOD FEELING. 164 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,647 HELLO? 165 00:07:10,777 --> 00:07:13,954 UH, YEAH, SURE. 166 00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:16,087 IT'S SAMANTHA, RACHEL, AND KARA. 167 00:07:16,217 --> 00:07:19,220 both: THE TATER TOT GIRLS! 168 00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:20,570 THEY WANNA TALK TO THE HERO. 169 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,572 SHALL I PATCH YOU THROUGH, SIR? 170 00:07:24,312 --> 00:07:25,226 JOE HERE. 171 00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:29,187 HOW CAN I SAVE YOU? 172 00:07:29,317 --> 00:07:30,971 THEY'RE LAUGHING. 173 00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:31,842 AT YOU? 174 00:07:31,972 --> 00:07:33,278 WITH ME. 175 00:07:33,408 --> 00:07:36,107 THIS IS A FIRST. 176 00:07:36,237 --> 00:07:37,717 SATURDAY NIGHT? 177 00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:39,066 WORKS FOR ME. 178 00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,633 OH, I'M GETTING ANOTHER CALL. 179 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:43,201 SAVE YA LATER. 180 00:07:43,331 --> 00:07:44,855 HELLO? 181 00:07:44,985 --> 00:07:46,987 YOU KNOW, I LOVE SEEING JOE THIS CONFIDENT. 182 00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,511 YEAH, HE NEVER GETS THIS KIND OF ATTENTION. 183 00:07:48,641 --> 00:07:50,121 - THIS IS HE. - HE DESERVES THIS. 184 00:07:50,251 --> 00:07:52,166 REALLY? THAT WOULD BE AMAZING! 185 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:54,604 THANK YOU. I'LL BE THERE. 186 00:07:54,734 --> 00:07:57,650 KICKIN' KICKS WANTS TO PRESENT ME WITH A PLAQUE TOMORROW. 187 00:07:57,781 --> 00:08:00,131 THEY'RE PICKING US UP IN THE SNEAKER MOBILE. 188 00:08:00,261 --> 00:08:01,262 - THE HIGH-TOP? - NO! 189 00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:02,263 - YEAH. - OH! 190 00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:03,743 OH! OH, MY GOD! 191 00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:07,921 THAT'S SO GREAT. 192 00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:09,923 THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING TO KICKIN' KICKS 193 00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,751 TO HONOR JOE HOBBS. 194 00:08:14,275 --> 00:08:15,842 COME ON, JOE, WAVE. 195 00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:17,757 THIS IS YOUR MOMENT. 196 00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:21,544 THERE YOU GO. 197 00:08:21,674 --> 00:08:24,068 DON'T YOU LOVE THE MALL? 198 00:08:24,198 --> 00:08:27,854 SO MUCH STUFF. 199 00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:29,856 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 200 00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:33,817 I WANT A GIANT RAINBOW LOLLIPOP, BIGGER THAN MY HEAD. 201 00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:36,602 COME ON, JANIE. 202 00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:40,214 BIGGER THAN MY HEAD, EMILY! 203 00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:42,739 YOU KNOW, THIS WOULD ALL COME TO AN END 204 00:08:42,869 --> 00:08:45,350 IF YOU JUST TOLD YOUR FATHER THE TRUTH. 205 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:46,917 I WILL. I'M JUST NERVOUS. 206 00:08:47,047 --> 00:08:48,222 WE'LL I'D TELL HIM 207 00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:50,355 BEFORE JANIE MAKES A PLAY FOR YOUR BEDROOM. 208 00:08:50,485 --> 00:08:54,185 - HAS THAT BEEN DISCUSSED? - OH, IT'S BEEN FLOATED. 209 00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:58,537 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, 210 00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:01,714 FOOT ENTHUSIASTS OF ALL AGES... 211 00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,716 KICKIN' KICKS WOULD LIKE TO PRESENT 212 00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:05,979 YOUNG MR. HOBBS WITH THIS. 213 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,852 SHE SAVED THAT CHILD'S LIFE! 214 00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:17,774 SO THAT WAS IT. 215 00:09:17,904 --> 00:09:19,863 THREE DAYS OF THE GOOD LIFE. 216 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,213 NOW I'M BACK TO BEING REGULAR, AVERAGE JOE. 217 00:09:22,343 --> 00:09:24,607 WELL, WE LOVE REGULAR, AVERAGE JOE. 218 00:09:24,737 --> 00:09:26,217 REGULAR JOE IS GREAT. 219 00:09:26,347 --> 00:09:28,045 GUYS, LET'S FACE IT. 220 00:09:28,175 --> 00:09:31,309 REGULAR JOE IS NOT GETTING ANY MORE BONUS TATER TOTS, 221 00:09:31,439 --> 00:09:33,920 AND HE'S DEFINITELY NOT GETTING FREE SNEAKERS. 222 00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:37,097 I MEAN, I NEVER REALIZED HOW BORING NORMAL LIFE WAS 223 00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:38,316 UNTIL I WAS FAMOUS. 224 00:09:38,446 --> 00:09:39,578 HEY, NO, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG 225 00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,711 OR--OR BORING ABOUT BEING NORMAL. 226 00:09:41,841 --> 00:09:43,843 IT'S JUST, FOR THE FIRST TIME, 227 00:09:43,974 --> 00:09:46,454 I FELT WHAT IT MUST FEEL LIKE TO BE YOU, DAD. 228 00:09:46,585 --> 00:09:48,718 YOU KNOW, IMPORTANT. 229 00:09:48,848 --> 00:09:50,371 NO, YOU SAY GOOD-BYE FIRST. 230 00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:53,200 NO, YOU. 231 00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:54,854 YOU'RE SO CUTE... 232 00:09:56,813 --> 00:10:00,033 TELEPHONE SURVEY PERSON. 233 00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:01,034 WHO WAS THAT? 234 00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:03,907 YOUR FRIEND, "ANITA NECKLACE"? 235 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,827 JANIE, HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU GO UP TO EMILY'S ROOM 236 00:10:10,957 --> 00:10:13,830 AND, UH, GET A FEEL FOR THE SPACE, OKAY? 237 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,660 JOE, I'M GONNA LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET. 238 00:10:17,790 --> 00:10:21,446 I DON'T NEED TO HAVE V.I.P. TREATMENT TO BE HAPPY. 239 00:10:21,576 --> 00:10:22,708 HONEY, YOU WHINED THE WHOLE RIDE HOME 240 00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:25,755 BECAUSE WE WEREN'T IN THE SNEAKER MOBILE. 241 00:10:25,885 --> 00:10:27,365 THE TONGUE IS THE SUNROOF. 242 00:10:27,495 --> 00:10:29,628 HOW COOL IS THAT? 243 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:30,803 YEAH, JOE, I CAN BE NORMAL. 244 00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:31,804 I'M--I'M GONNA PROVE IT TO YOU. 245 00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:33,763 SHOOT AND SCORE. 246 00:10:33,893 --> 00:10:35,634 YOUR TICKET GUY CAME THROUGH, DAVID. 247 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,505 LAKERS, HEAT. FLOOR SEATS. 248 00:10:37,636 --> 00:10:39,159 CAN I GET A WHAT, WHAT? 249 00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:40,291 OKAY, YOU KNOW, KEVIN, 250 00:10:40,421 --> 00:10:41,814 THANK YOU, BUT I DON'T WANT THEM. 251 00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:44,599 - WHAT, WHAT? - HERE WE GO, OKAY. 252 00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:45,775 HERE'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO. 253 00:10:45,905 --> 00:10:46,950 I'M GONNA TAKE JOE AND MARCUS 254 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,734 TO THE LAKER GAME LIKE A NORMAL GUY WOULD, 255 00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,388 WE'RE GONNA SIT IN NORMAL SEATS, 256 00:10:50,518 --> 00:10:52,085 AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE JUST AS MUCH FUN. 257 00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:54,000 DAD, HOW ARE YOU GONNA GET THROUGH A PUBLIC EVENT 258 00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:56,133 WITHOUT BEING HOUNDED FOR AUTOGRAPHS? 259 00:10:56,263 --> 00:10:59,963 WE ALL KNOW THAT I CAN'T GO AS DAVID HOBBS. 260 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:03,314 BUT YOU WANNA KNOW WHO I CAN GO AS? 261 00:11:03,444 --> 00:11:06,143 SCHNECK, RUSSELL SCHNECK. 262 00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,146 IS THIS GREAT, JOE? 263 00:11:09,276 --> 00:11:12,062 JUST A COUPLE OF REGULAR GUYS ENJOYING SOME REGULAR SEATS. 264 00:11:12,192 --> 00:11:13,367 YOU WERE RIGHT, DAD. 265 00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:14,717 NO ONE HOUNDED YOU. 266 00:11:14,847 --> 00:11:15,805 WELL, HOLD ON THERE, MISTER. 267 00:11:15,935 --> 00:11:18,111 YOU MEAN NOBODY HOUNDED RUSSELL SCHNECK, 268 00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:20,200 FLOOR COVERING SALESMAN. 269 00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:23,551 ALWAYS AND "FLOOREVER," TARZANA SHOWROOM. 270 00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:27,207 CAN I GET A WHAT, WHAT? 271 00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,913 THIS IS GREAT, DAD. 272 00:11:37,043 --> 00:11:38,610 WE ARE SO HIGH UP, I FEEL LIKE I'M FALLING, 273 00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,394 EVEN THOUGH I'M SITTING DOWN. 274 00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:41,874 I KNOW, RIGHT? 275 00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,006 AND WE NEVER GOT TO DO THE WAVE 276 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,659 WHEN WE WERE ON THE FLOOR. 277 00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:47,532 YEAH, AND--AND ONLY REGULAR GUYS GET TO DO THIS. 278 00:11:47,662 --> 00:11:50,665 HEY, HEAT, PUT THIS ON THE JUMBO SCREEN! 279 00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,104 WHOO-HOO! 280 00:11:54,234 --> 00:11:56,454 MARCUS, WHERE YOU BEEN, MAN? YOU MISSED THE TIP-OFF. 281 00:11:56,584 --> 00:11:58,325 I HAD TO GO TO BASE CAMP 282 00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:01,459 TO ACCLIMATE TO THE ALTITUDE BEFORE MY FINAL ASCENT. 283 00:12:02,895 --> 00:12:04,331 CAN I GET A HIT OF THAT, SIR? 284 00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:05,985 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 285 00:12:09,075 --> 00:12:10,033 THANK YOU. 286 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,034 ALL RIGHT, DAVID. 287 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,296 NOBODY RECOGNIZED YOU. 288 00:12:12,426 --> 00:12:13,427 YOU MADE YOUR POINT. 289 00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:14,559 WHEN CAN WE GO BACK 290 00:12:14,689 --> 00:12:16,082 TO TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOUR CELEBRITY? 291 00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:18,128 OH, NO, NO, RUSSELL SCHNECK'S GONNA BE WITH US 292 00:12:18,258 --> 00:12:19,912 ALL NIGHT LONG, MARCUS. 293 00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:22,175 - YES. - SEE? JOE'S ON BOARD. 294 00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:23,350 NO, MY EARS JUST POPPED. 295 00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:28,312 AHH, IS THAT A PIGEON? 296 00:12:28,442 --> 00:12:29,313 A PIGEON? 297 00:12:29,443 --> 00:12:30,923 NATURE AND SPORTS? 298 00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:33,447 IF I FIND A ROCK, MY HEAD'S GONNA EXPLODE. 299 00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:36,407 YES! 300 00:12:36,537 --> 00:12:37,930 I CAN'T EVEN SEE WHAT'S GOING ON FROM UP HERE. 301 00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,236 COULD BE WINNING, COULD BE LOSING. 302 00:12:39,366 --> 00:12:41,629 DON'T KNOW. ALL PART OF THE EXPERIENCE. 303 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:42,979 MAYBE MR. SCHNECK SHOULD HAVE STUCK 304 00:12:43,109 --> 00:12:44,719 ONE OF THESE IN HIS FANNY PACK. 305 00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:46,156 WELL, IN FACT, I DID. 306 00:12:46,286 --> 00:12:48,419 A SCHNECK IS ALWAYS PREPARED. 307 00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:52,684 OH, THIS IS INCREDIBLE. 308 00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:53,685 IT'S LIKE I'M ON THE COURT. 309 00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:54,729 I SEE NICHOLSON. 310 00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,514 I SEE SHAQUILLE O'NEAL. 311 00:12:56,644 --> 00:12:58,516 I SEE EMILY, XANDER MCGINLEY. 312 00:12:58,646 --> 00:13:01,649 WHAT? 313 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,826 I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. 314 00:13:03,956 --> 00:13:06,002 WHAT IS MY DAUGHTER DOING WITH A MCGINLEY? 315 00:13:06,132 --> 00:13:07,612 OH, THEY COULD BE KISSING, 316 00:13:07,742 --> 00:13:08,831 COULD BE HUGGING. WE DON'T KNOW. 317 00:13:08,961 --> 00:13:10,658 THAT'S PART OF THE EXPERIENCE. 318 00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,747 THAT'S--COME ON. 319 00:13:18,884 --> 00:13:20,277 YOU REALIZE THE ONLY WAY 320 00:13:20,407 --> 00:13:22,322 YOU'RE GONNA GET TO THAT FLOOR IS AS DAVID HOBBS. 321 00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:23,889 WELL, NO, NO. NOT TONIGHT, MARCUS. 322 00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,760 NOT TONIGHT-- I PROMISED JOE 323 00:13:25,891 --> 00:13:26,674 THAT I WOULD SPEND THE REST OF THE NIGHT 324 00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,720 AS A REGULAR GUY, OKAY? 325 00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:29,982 SO WHEN I WRING XANDER'S NECK, 326 00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:32,811 IT'S GONNA BE AS RUSSELL SCHNECK. 327 00:13:34,987 --> 00:13:35,945 OOF. 328 00:13:36,075 --> 00:13:36,946 TICKETS, PLEASE. 329 00:13:37,076 --> 00:13:37,947 UH, YES, MA'AM, I REALIZE 330 00:13:38,077 --> 00:13:39,078 THAT THIS IS NOT MY SECTION, 331 00:13:39,209 --> 00:13:40,427 BUT I NEED TO SPEAK WITH MY DAUGHTER. 332 00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:41,733 SHE'S SITTING RIGHT THERE. 333 00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,996 IN THAT CASE...TICKETS. 334 00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:46,259 UM, YES, YOU SEE, HERE'S THE SITUATION. 335 00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:47,870 SHE'S SITTING ON THE FLOOR WITH A YOUNG BOY 336 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,785 THAT I HIGHLY DISAPPROVE OF, AND SHE KNOWS THAT. 337 00:13:50,916 --> 00:13:52,744 AH, WELL, IN THAT CASE... 338 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,833 TICKETS! 339 00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:56,182 YOU WANNA TRY IT AGAIN? 340 00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:58,228 'CAUSE I CAN PLAY THIS ALL NIGHT LONG, MAN. 341 00:13:58,358 --> 00:13:59,925 UH, JUST TELL HER WHO YOU ARE. 342 00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,666 UH, YEAH, YES, MA'AM. I'M--I'M-- 343 00:14:01,796 --> 00:14:02,928 I'M--I'M RUSSELL SCHNECK, 344 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,756 FLOOR COVERING SALESMAN. 345 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:06,627 YES, MADAME, MAY--MAY I ASK YOU A QUESTION? 346 00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:08,281 IS THAT FLOOR A STAMPED CONCRETE, 347 00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:10,414 OR IS THAT IMPORTED TRAVERTINE? 348 00:14:10,544 --> 00:14:11,763 OOH! OOH... 349 00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,852 DID YOU JUST TRY TO HANDLE ME? 350 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:15,071 UH, WELL, NO, MA'AM. 351 00:14:15,201 --> 00:14:16,942 UH, NOT ON PURPOSE. NO, I DIDN'T-- 352 00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:20,424 - YOU KNOW WHAT? COME HERE. - OH, OH. OKAY. 353 00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,122 THIS IS ALL JUST A GIANT MISTAKE. 354 00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:25,733 IF YOU COME DOWN TO OUR SHOWROOM IN TARZANA 355 00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:30,390 I'LL GIVE YOU 40% OFF ANY TILE THAT WE HAVE IN STOCK. 356 00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:34,786 I'M PERFECTLY HAPPY WITH MY FLOORING SITUATION, SIR. 357 00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,006 AND, BY THE WAY, THANK YOU FOR ASSAULTING ME 358 00:14:37,136 --> 00:14:39,008 BECAUSE NOW I CAN WATCH THE ENTIRE GAME 359 00:14:39,138 --> 00:14:40,705 WHILE I FILL OUT MY REPORT. 360 00:14:40,835 --> 00:14:44,535 SO TAKE A SEAT 'CAUSE YOU GONNA BE HERE FOR A WHILE. 361 00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:49,975 MOMMY, LOOK. 362 00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:52,195 I'M A CHEERLEADER. 363 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:56,242 JANIE, THAT'S SO CUTE. 364 00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:58,375 AMY, WHEN WILL THIS SUGAR NIGHTMARE END? 365 00:14:58,505 --> 00:15:00,725 WAIT FOR IT. 366 00:15:00,855 --> 00:15:05,338 TWO, FOUR, SIX...EIGHT... 367 00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:08,994 I'M TIRED. 368 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:11,779 AND THAT'S JENGA. 369 00:15:11,910 --> 00:15:14,565 UH-OH. 370 00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:18,351 EMILY AND XANDER MCGINLEY ARE TOGETHER? 371 00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:19,962 DAVID WOULD BE HORRIFIED. 372 00:15:20,092 --> 00:15:22,442 KEVIN, LET ME HANDLE THIS. 373 00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:24,705 HI, HONEY. 374 00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:27,099 LOOK, I NEED YOU TO BE AS CALM AS POSSIBLE. 375 00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,275 DAD'S HERE? 376 00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:30,581 WHERE? 377 00:15:30,711 --> 00:15:31,712 WHERE? DID HE SEE ME? 378 00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:32,844 HEY, EM, LOOK. 379 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,672 WE'RE ON THE KISS CAM. 380 00:15:34,802 --> 00:15:36,195 NO KISSING! 381 00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:48,338 YOU WAS IN THAT MEN'S ROOM AN AWFULLY LONG TIME. 382 00:15:48,468 --> 00:15:50,818 IT WAS A $33 BUCKET OF SODA. 383 00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:53,952 IT HAD TO GO SOMEWHERE. 384 00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,042 MARCUS, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 385 00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:59,436 YOUNG JOE, KICK BACK AND RELAX 386 00:15:59,566 --> 00:16:03,048 AND LET YOUR UNCLE MARCUS SWEET TALK YOUR DAD'S WAY TO FREEDOM. 387 00:16:08,227 --> 00:16:09,707 HEY, BEAUTIFUL. 388 00:16:09,837 --> 00:16:12,927 I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE OWNING THAT UNIFORM, 389 00:16:13,058 --> 00:16:14,668 OWNING IT. 390 00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:17,280 SIT DOWN, STRING BEAN, BEFORE I SNAP YOU IN HALF 391 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,977 AND SERVE YOU WITH SOME MEATLOAF. 392 00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:25,027 YOU KNOW, A LESSER MAN WOULD BE INTIMIDATED. 393 00:16:25,157 --> 00:16:28,856 THE FACT THAT I'M WALKING AWAY IS JUST A COINCIDENCE, THOUGH. 394 00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:31,772 WHAT DID SHE SAY? 395 00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:34,514 SHE MARINATING ON IT. 396 00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:36,560 PSST. 397 00:16:36,690 --> 00:16:39,258 JOE, I NEED YOU TO GO UP TO THE MEN'S ROOM 398 00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:41,565 AND GET MY EYEGLASS REPAIR KIT. 399 00:16:41,695 --> 00:16:43,001 WHY DO YOU HAVE AN EYEGLASS REPAIR KIT? 400 00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,089 I-I-I DON'T. 401 00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,482 RUSSELL SCHNECK DOES. 402 00:16:45,612 --> 00:16:47,223 YOU SEE, WHEN I GET IN CHARACTER, I GO ALL THE WAY. 403 00:16:47,353 --> 00:16:48,528 OKAY, LISTEN TO ME. 404 00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:50,487 NEED YOU TO PUT YOUR HAND IN THE TOILET TANK, 405 00:16:50,617 --> 00:16:53,316 GET THE EYEGLASS REPAIR KIT, COME BACK HERE, 406 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:54,795 AND JIMMY THE LOCK WITH THE SMALL SCREWDRIVER, 407 00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:56,275 AND WE'LL ALL ESCAPE. 408 00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:58,669 YOU HAD ME AT "REACH INTO THE TOILET." 409 00:16:58,799 --> 00:17:01,280 I'M GONNA GO WITH HIM, MAKE SURE HE WASHES HIS HANDS. 410 00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:03,065 UH, WE GONNA GO TO THE BATHROOM, DARLING. 411 00:17:03,195 --> 00:17:05,197 WE B-- 412 00:17:08,287 --> 00:17:10,855 EMILY, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 413 00:17:10,985 --> 00:17:12,378 THIS IS ONLY HAPPENING 414 00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:13,988 BECAUSE YOU WOT TELL YOUR DAD ABOUT US. 415 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:15,555 I KNOW, I KNOW. 416 00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:17,079 COME ON. 417 00:17:17,209 --> 00:17:20,908 WE'VE BEEN SEEING EACH OTHER FOR A MONTH. 418 00:17:21,039 --> 00:17:23,563 BESIDES, MY DAD KNOWS. 419 00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:27,045 YOU'VE BEEN OVER FOR DINNER, LIKE, FIVE TIMES. 420 00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:29,047 I KNOW, AND EVERY TIME, I FEEL SO GUILTY 421 00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:31,876 I GO HOME AND SPILL MY GUTS TO MY MOM. 422 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,314 SHE'S RIGHT. 423 00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:36,663 I HAVE TO TELL HIM. 424 00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:37,969 AT LEAST BEFORE JANIE TELLS HIM. 425 00:17:42,756 --> 00:17:46,195 I CAN'T STAND LYING TO HIM, XANDER. 426 00:17:46,325 --> 00:17:48,110 THEN LET'S TELL HIM THE TRUTH. 427 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,373 WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER. 428 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,637 AS LONG AS YOU STAND A LITTLE BIT IN FRONT OF ME. 429 00:17:53,767 --> 00:17:55,943 I'M JUST AFRAID HE'LL FREAK OUT AND SAY NO. 430 00:17:56,074 --> 00:17:57,684 AND THEN WHAT? 431 00:17:57,815 --> 00:18:01,166 I DON'T KNOW. 432 00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:02,776 DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. 433 00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:04,213 YOU HAVE MY BLESSING. 434 00:18:04,343 --> 00:18:05,649 I'M SORRY, YOU'RE CHIMING IN 435 00:18:05,779 --> 00:18:07,607 ON MY CONVERSATION BECAUSE... 436 00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:09,696 BECAUSE I'M YOUR FATHER. 437 00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:13,091 YOU'RE MY FATHER? 438 00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:15,963 XANDER MCGINLEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 439 00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:19,141 DAD, I GOT THE TOOL KIT. 440 00:18:19,271 --> 00:18:20,446 - OH-- - JOE? 441 00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:22,796 EMILY? 442 00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:24,407 HELLO, SIR. 443 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:28,541 EMILY AND I HAVE SOMETHING WE'D LIKE TO TELL YOU. 444 00:18:28,672 --> 00:18:32,545 I REALLY WANTED TO TELL YOU, BUT I WAS AFRAID. 445 00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:36,854 OH, EMILY, YOU DON'T EVER HAVE TO BE AFRAID. 446 00:18:36,984 --> 00:18:40,162 YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING AT ANY TIME. 447 00:18:40,292 --> 00:18:41,380 I GOT IT. 448 00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:44,209 EXCEPT FOR RIGHT NOW. 449 00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:45,645 ALL RIGHT, NOW WE NEED A DISTRACTION. 450 00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:47,125 OH, OH. 451 00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:51,216 WHAT'S THAT? 452 00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:51,956 I'M TRYING TO CALL THAT PIGEON. 453 00:18:52,086 --> 00:18:53,262 MAYBE HE HAS SOME FRIENDS 454 00:18:53,392 --> 00:18:54,872 THAT'LL SWOOP DOWN TO CREATE A DIVERSION. 455 00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:02,662 IS THAT COMING FROM THE MEN'S ROOM? 456 00:19:04,664 --> 00:19:06,536 OH--ARE YOU SERIOUS? 457 00:19:06,666 --> 00:19:08,015 THIS--THIS-- 458 00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:09,887 THAT'S A STROKE OF LUCK. 459 00:19:10,017 --> 00:19:11,671 NOT REALLY. 460 00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:12,977 DID YOU BREAK THE TOILET? 461 00:19:13,107 --> 00:19:14,108 I DIDN'T BREAK THE TOILET. 462 00:19:14,239 --> 00:19:16,023 RUSSELL SCHNECK JUNIOR DID. 463 00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:18,069 EW, EW. 464 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,114 - COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. - ALL RIGHT. 465 00:19:20,245 --> 00:19:22,508 THIS IS THE MOST ROMANTIC MOMENT OF MY LIFE. 466 00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,336 DON'T WORRY, I GOT LONG LEGS. 467 00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:26,730 AHH! APPARENTLY NOT LONG ENOUGH. 468 00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:28,732 HOP ON MY BACK. 469 00:19:28,862 --> 00:19:30,081 I DON'T WANNA GET YOUR HERO SHOES ALL DIRTY. 470 00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:31,952 HEY, SOMETIMES A REGULAR GUY 471 00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:34,303 HAS TO WALK THROUGH POOP WATER IN HIS HERO SHOES. 472 00:19:34,433 --> 00:19:35,826 OKAY. OOH. 473 00:19:35,956 --> 00:19:37,654 OOH, YEAH. 474 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:45,183 THANKS AGAIN FOR THE GAME, MR. SCHNECK. 475 00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:48,317 YOU'RE WELCOME, RUSSELL SCHNECK JUNIOR. 476 00:19:50,884 --> 00:19:53,757 DAD, THIS WAS SERIOUSLY THE GREATEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE. 477 00:19:53,887 --> 00:19:54,975 AND YOU WERE RIGHT. 478 00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:56,934 AVERAGE JOES CAN HAVE FUN. 479 00:19:57,064 --> 00:19:59,328 YOU ARE ANYTHING BUT AVERAGE. 480 00:19:59,458 --> 00:20:03,070 IN FACT, JOE, YOU'RE EXTRAORDINARY. 481 00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:09,990 ALL RIGHT, GO UPSTAIRS. 482 00:20:12,732 --> 00:20:14,212 CAKE. 483 00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:38,758 WHAT?