1
00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:12,316
WOW, HONEY,
THESE ARE AWESOME.
2
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:15,101
FLOWERS ARE SO LAST YEAR.
3
00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:17,103
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
4
00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:18,626
YOU HAVE OPINIONS NOW.
5
00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:20,280
DAD, LAST CHANCE.
6
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:21,455
ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T
WANNA BUY THESE FOR ME?
7
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:23,109
THEY'RE SO COOL.
8
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:26,634
OH, JOE, I'M SO TEMPTED,
BUT THEY'RE SO EXPENSIVE.
9
00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,332
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE REVISIT
THIS CONVERSATION
10
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,724
WHEN YOUR FEET STOP GROWING?
11
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,683
THAT'S NOT GONNA BE FOR,
LIKE, TEN YEARS.
12
00:00:31,813 --> 00:00:34,686
BY THAT TIME, THEY'LL PROBABLY
HAVE HOVER SHOES.
13
00:00:34,816 --> 00:00:36,035
YOU ALREADY HAVE HOVER SHOES.
14
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,385
- I DO?
- YEAH, WATCH.
15
00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:42,215
GO HOVER BY THE DOOR AND STOP
BUGGING ME ABOUT THE SHOES.
16
00:00:43,303 --> 00:00:46,132
DO YOU REALIZE THAT THIS IS
17
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,221
OUR FIRST PUBLIC APPEARANCE
AS A COUPLE?
18
00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:49,701
I KNOW.
[giggles]
19
00:00:49,831 --> 00:00:51,137
EMILY HOBBS
AND XANDER MCGINLEY:
20
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,487
THE CHILDREN OF FEUDING FATHERS.
[giggles]
21
00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:56,273
WE'RE SO ROMEO AND JULIET.
22
00:00:56,403 --> 00:00:59,580
THE ROMANTIC PART,
NOT THE DYING PART.
23
00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:02,192
NOT THAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD
TO POSSIBLY DYING,
24
00:01:02,322 --> 00:01:04,368
BUT WHEN ARE YOU
GONNA TELL YOUR DAD?
25
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:05,630
I DON'T KNOW.
26
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:06,761
DOWN THE ROAD,
WHEN THE MOMENT'S RIGHT.
27
00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:08,198
SOMEDAY, YOU KNOW. NEVER.
28
00:01:08,328 --> 00:01:10,330
[both laugh]
29
00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:21,994
OOH, PRETTY DRESS.
30
00:01:22,995 --> 00:01:25,998
I SAID, "OOH, PRETTY DRESS!"
31
00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:31,046
I THINK I FOUND YOU
THE PERFECT PAIR.
32
00:01:31,177 --> 00:01:34,093
I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.
33
00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:38,184
HUH?
[shoes play {\an8}Pop Goes the Weasel]
34
00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,838
[chuckles]
35
00:01:39,968 --> 00:01:41,970
UH, DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
36
00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:45,104
NOPE, BUT I HEAR
THEY'RE A HOOT.
37
00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:46,627
GO.
38
00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:49,369
[shoes play {\an8}
Pop Goes the Weasel]
39
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:52,807
I'M NEVER GONNA
TAKE THESE OFF!
40
00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:55,854
UH, I--JUST A QUICK QUESTION,
HOW LONG DO THE BATTERIES LAST?
41
00:01:55,984 --> 00:01:57,116
OH, THEY NEVER DIE.
42
00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:58,552
THEY'RE SOLAR.
43
00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:00,511
OH.
44
00:02:00,641 --> 00:02:02,165
AND FOR YOU, MR. HOBBS.
45
00:02:02,295 --> 00:02:03,775
OH, YES, I APPRECIATE THAT,
46
00:02:03,905 --> 00:02:06,821
BUT IF I'M GONNA BUY
A, UH, WHAT IS THIS?
47
00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:10,695
A $300 PAIR OF SNEAKERS, THEY
BETTER BE MADE OF $400, OKAY?
48
00:02:10,825 --> 00:02:12,000
SEE THAT, JOE?
49
00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:13,306
THE RULE APPLIES TO ME TOO.
50
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:14,481
FOR BIG TIME CELEBRITIES,
THEY'RE FREE.
51
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:17,267
WELL THEN, LUCKILY
I'M A BIG-TIME CELEBRITY.
52
00:02:17,397 --> 00:02:19,660
DAD, HOW COME YOU CAN GET 'EM,
BUT I CAN'T?
53
00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:20,835
WELL, BECAUSE THEY'RE FREE.
54
00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,663
NOW COME ON, JOE.
DON'T BE THAT GUY.
55
00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:23,925
WELL, YOU'RE ALL SET.
56
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:24,926
[shoes play {\an8}
Pop Goes the Weasel]
57
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:27,799
OKAY.
58
00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:29,148
WATCH OUT!
59
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:30,715
[screams]
60
00:02:30,845 --> 00:02:33,848
[gasps]
61
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:36,286
HEY, YOU GUYS OKAY?
62
00:02:36,416 --> 00:02:38,288
- FINE. FINE.
- JOE, YOU FINE?
63
00:02:38,418 --> 00:02:39,724
YEAH, I'M OKAY.
64
00:02:39,854 --> 00:02:41,726
OH, THANK YOU.
65
00:02:41,856 --> 00:02:43,684
YOU'RE MY HERO.
66
00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:45,164
MINE TOO.
67
00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:46,078
MY BOSS TOLD ME TO BOLT DOWN
68
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:47,906
THAT GIANT SHOE WEEKS AGO.
69
00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:49,864
I OWE YOU.
- NO BIG DEAL.
70
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:50,909
ARE YOU KIDDING ME, JOE?
71
00:02:51,039 --> 00:02:52,040
THIS IS A HUGE DEAL.
72
00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:53,607
YOU SAVED THAT WOMAN
FROM GETTING HURT.
73
00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:54,869
REMEMBER
THOSE SHOES YOU LOVED?
74
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,741
TAKE 'EM AS A THANK YOU.
75
00:02:56,871 --> 00:02:58,395
REALLY? CAN I?
76
00:02:58,525 --> 00:02:59,570
JOE, THERE'S
AN OLD EXPRESSION:
77
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:01,702
"NEVER TURN DOWN FREE STUFF."
78
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:02,877
THANKS, PHIL.
79
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:05,271
JANIE, PLAY US OUT.
80
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:08,187
[shoes play {\an8}
Pop Goes the Weasel]
81
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,320
♪
82
00:03:35,823 --> 00:03:37,129
HEY, DAVID.
83
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,435
ONE LARGE VANILLA BLENDED,
84
00:03:38,565 --> 00:03:40,088
NO SUGAR ADDED, EXTRA THICK.
85
00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:42,221
"THE DAVID."
86
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:43,309
THEY CALL IT "THE DAVID" NOW?
87
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,834
NOT YET,
BUT THEY WILL COME AROUND.
88
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:47,835
THERE HE IS.
THERE'S MY FAVORITE SON.
89
00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:48,749
HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY, JOE?
90
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,447
AMAZING.
91
00:03:50,577 --> 00:03:53,014
EVERYONE AT SCHOOL STARTED
CALLING ME "HERO HOBBS."
92
00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,451
[laughs]
93
00:03:54,581 --> 00:03:56,366
THE LUNCH LADY
GAVE ME EXTRA TATER TOTS
94
00:03:56,496 --> 00:03:58,411
AND THE JOCK WHO TAKES
EVERYONE'S TATER TOTS
95
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,674
GAVE ME HIS TATER TOTS.
96
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:02,154
AND THE THREE GIRLS
THAT EAT THE TATER TOTS
97
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,112
THAT THE JOCK TAKES FROM ME
98
00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:05,897
SAID, "YOU GONNA EAT THOSE?"
99
00:04:06,027 --> 00:04:07,768
YEAH.
[laughs]
100
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,161
COME ON.
101
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,728
I AM SO LUCKY
I DON'T LIKE TATER TOTS.
102
00:04:10,858 --> 00:04:11,990
[laughs]
103
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:12,991
HEY, JOE.
104
00:04:13,121 --> 00:04:14,340
ONE LARGE BANANA BLENDED,
105
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,124
EXTRA SUGAR,
WITH A CHOCOLATE BOOST.
106
00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:18,039
I CALL IT "THE HERO."
107
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,477
THANK YOU, FITZY.
108
00:04:20,607 --> 00:04:22,827
UM, DID HE SAY
FITZY OR SUCK-UP?
109
00:04:22,957 --> 00:04:24,785
[chuckles]
110
00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,352
UH, DAD, FITZY.
FITZY, THAT'S MY DAD.
111
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:27,832
- HEY, MR. HOBBS.
- HOW YOU DOING?
112
00:04:27,962 --> 00:04:29,703
YOU MUST BE
SO PROUD OF YOUR JOE.
113
00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,966
WELL, I'LL TELL YA, THE FIRST
NINE YEARS WERE GREAT, FITZY.
114
00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:34,621
BUT THE, UH--THE LAST YEAR
WAS--IF I'M BEING HONEST--
115
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,101
THE EPISODES WERE A LITTLE WEAK.
116
00:04:36,231 --> 00:04:38,669
HE SAID JOE, NOT SHOW.
117
00:04:38,799 --> 00:04:42,586
YES, JOE--GOD--HEY,
MY SON, HE'S THE BEST.
118
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:43,587
[phone rings]
- OH.
119
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:46,677
both: YES,
MY HOBBS GOOGLE ALERT!
120
00:04:46,807 --> 00:04:48,418
JOE'S ABOUT TO BE ON THE NEWS!
CHANNEL NINE!
121
00:04:48,548 --> 00:04:50,202
19 IF YOU WANT HD.
122
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:53,118
WHAT?
123
00:04:53,248 --> 00:04:56,469
TODAY'S LOCAL HERO
IS 6TH GRADER JOE HOBBS.
124
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,124
HE THOUGHT HE WAS JUST
SHOPPING FOR SNEAKERS.
125
00:04:59,254 --> 00:05:02,257
BUT INSTEAD, HE WAS AT
THE MALL FOR A GREATER PURPOSE:
126
00:05:02,388 --> 00:05:03,694
TO BECOME A HERO.
127
00:05:03,824 --> 00:05:06,218
HERE'S SOME CELL PHONE
FOOTAGE AT THE SCENE.
128
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:09,787
- WATCH OUT!
- [shouts]
129
00:05:09,917 --> 00:05:12,180
SOMETIMES,
YOUR AVERAGE, EVERYDAY KID
130
00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:14,618
DOES SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY.
131
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:15,880
I LOVE THE SOUND OF THAT.
132
00:05:16,010 --> 00:05:17,142
HERO HOBBS.
133
00:05:17,272 --> 00:05:18,709
THAT IS FANTASTIC.
134
00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:20,232
- YOU DA MAN!
- THANKS, KEVIN.
135
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,886
YEAH, JOE, YOU DA MAN.
136
00:05:22,016 --> 00:05:24,671
OKAY, I JUST SAID THAT.
LIKE--
137
00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:31,678
PRINCESS BELLA,
DR. MONKEY CHUNKS,
138
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:33,811
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
AT THE MALL TOGETHER?
139
00:05:33,941 --> 00:05:36,640
YOU KNOW YOUR DADS
DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER.
140
00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:44,778
ALL RIGHT, SO, UH,
WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE
141
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:48,347
TO KEEP THIS OUR LITTLE SECRET?
UH, GLITTER? STICKERS?
142
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:51,829
WHAT AM I, FOUR?
143
00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:55,093
I WANT MAGIC WANDS
AND PRINCESS DRESSES!
144
00:05:55,223 --> 00:05:58,226
SO LET'S MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
145
00:05:58,357 --> 00:06:00,359
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
146
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,317
YOU'RE MY SISTER.
WE'RE FAMILY.
147
00:06:02,448 --> 00:06:04,972
TICK-TOCK, EMILY.
148
00:06:05,103 --> 00:06:07,801
OH, AND I NEED A WATCH.
149
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:13,677
SO LITTLE, YET SO SCARY.
150
00:06:15,243 --> 00:06:16,244
- HEY, HEY, PEOPLE.
- HEY.
151
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:17,594
WHA--JOE!
152
00:06:17,724 --> 00:06:19,378
JOE, I JUST SAW THE NEWS.
153
00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:22,120
YOU ARE LIKE MY WIFE'S
FAVORITE MIDNIGHT SNACK.
154
00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:24,514
A FOUR FOOT HERO.
WHOO!
155
00:06:24,644 --> 00:06:26,211
STAND UP, BOY.
156
00:06:26,341 --> 00:06:28,082
JOE, YOU MOVE ME, MAN.
157
00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:30,998
YOU MOVE ME.
158
00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:34,349
IT'S GONNA BE AN HONOR TO SIT
NEXT TO YOU AT THE LAKER GAME!
159
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,047
- WAH. YES.
- OH, UH, ABOUT THAT.
160
00:06:36,177 --> 00:06:37,962
OH, YEAH, TELL ME
YOU TALKED TO MY TICKET GUY.
161
00:06:38,092 --> 00:06:39,442
I DID,
I GOT YOU THREE SEATS
162
00:06:39,572 --> 00:06:41,052
IN THE FOURTH ROW,
RIGHT BEHIND THE BENCH.
163
00:06:41,182 --> 00:06:42,227
THE FOURTH ROW?
164
00:06:42,357 --> 00:06:44,838
WHAT AM I, AN ANIMAL?
165
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:46,231
I CAN CALL A GUY.
166
00:06:46,361 --> 00:06:46,927
DAVID, I GOT THIS.
167
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:49,582
STEP BACK, FITZY.
168
00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:52,455
HEY, GUYS.
all: HEY.
169
00:06:52,585 --> 00:06:55,283
EVERYONE AT WORK SAW MY LITTLE
LIFE-SAVER ON THE NEWS.
170
00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,460
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.
171
00:06:57,590 --> 00:06:59,026
OOH.
- TH-THANKS, MOM.
172
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:01,594
JOE YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION.
173
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:03,814
I FEEL LIKE GOING OUT THERE
HELPING PEOPLE.
174
00:07:03,944 --> 00:07:05,903
I'M NOT GONNA DO IT,
BUT IT'S STILL A GOOD FEELING.
175
00:07:06,033 --> 00:07:08,035
[phone rings]
176
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,647
HELLO?
177
00:07:10,777 --> 00:07:13,954
UH, YEAH, SURE.
178
00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:16,087
IT'S SAMANTHA,
RACHEL, AND KARA.
179
00:07:16,217 --> 00:07:19,220
both: THE TATER TOT GIRLS!
180
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:20,570
THEY WANNA
TALK TO THE HERO.
181
00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,572
SHALL I PATCH YOU
THROUGH, SIR?
182
00:07:22,702 --> 00:07:24,182
[clears throat]
183
00:07:24,312 --> 00:07:25,226
JOE HERE.
184
00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:29,187
HOW CAN I SAVE YOU?
185
00:07:29,317 --> 00:07:30,971
THEY'RE LAUGHING.
186
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:31,842
AT YOU?
187
00:07:31,972 --> 00:07:33,278
WITH ME.
188
00:07:33,408 --> 00:07:36,107
THIS IS A FIRST.
189
00:07:36,237 --> 00:07:37,717
SATURDAY NIGHT?
190
00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:39,066
WORKS FOR ME.
191
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,633
OH, I'M GETTING ANOTHER CALL.
192
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:43,201
SAVE YA LATER.
193
00:07:43,331 --> 00:07:44,855
HELLO?
194
00:07:44,985 --> 00:07:46,987
YOU KNOW, I LOVE SEEING
JOE THIS CONFIDENT.
195
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,511
YEAH, HE NEVER GETS
THIS KIND OF ATTENTION.
196
00:07:48,641 --> 00:07:50,121
- THIS IS HE.
- HE DESERVES THIS.
197
00:07:50,251 --> 00:07:52,166
REALLY?
THAT WOULD BE AMAZING!
198
00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:54,604
THANK YOU.
I'LL BE THERE.
199
00:07:54,734 --> 00:07:57,650
KICKIN' KICKS WANTS TO PRESENT
ME WITH A PLAQUE TOMORROW.
200
00:07:57,781 --> 00:08:00,131
THEY'RE PICKING US UP
IN THE SNEAKER MOBILE.
201
00:08:00,261 --> 00:08:01,262
- THE HIGH-TOP?
- NO!
202
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:02,263
- YEAH.
- OH!
203
00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:03,743
OH!
OH, MY GOD!
204
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:07,921
[all laugh]
THAT'S SO GREAT.
205
00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:09,923
THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING
TO KICKIN' KICKS
206
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,751
TO HONOR JOE HOBBS.
207
00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:14,145
[cheers and applause]
208
00:08:14,275 --> 00:08:15,842
COME ON, JOE, WAVE.
209
00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:17,757
THIS IS YOUR MOMENT.
210
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:21,544
THERE YOU GO.
211
00:08:21,674 --> 00:08:24,068
DON'T YOU LOVE THE MALL?
212
00:08:24,198 --> 00:08:27,854
SO MUCH STUFF.
213
00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:29,856
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
214
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:33,817
I WANT A GIANT RAINBOW
LOLLIPOP, BIGGER THAN MY HEAD.
215
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:36,602
COME ON, JANIE.
216
00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:40,214
BIGGER THAN MY HEAD, EMILY!
217
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:42,739
YOU KNOW, THIS WOULD
ALL COME TO AN END
218
00:08:42,869 --> 00:08:45,350
IF YOU JUST TOLD
YOUR FATHER THE TRUTH.
219
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:46,917
I WILL.
I'M JUST NERVOUS.
220
00:08:47,047 --> 00:08:48,222
WE'LL I'D TELL HIM
221
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:50,355
BEFORE JANIE MAKES A PLAY
FOR YOUR BEDROOM.
222
00:08:50,485 --> 00:08:54,185
- HAS THAT BEEN DISCUSSED?
- OH, IT'S BEEN FLOATED.
223
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:58,537
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
BOYS AND GIRLS,
224
00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:01,714
FOOT ENTHUSIASTS OF ALL AGES...
[chuckles]
225
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,716
KICKIN' KICKS
WOULD LIKE TO PRESENT
226
00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:05,979
YOUNG MR. HOBBS WITH THIS.
227
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,154
[shocked gasps]
228
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,852
SHE SAVED THAT CHILD'S LIFE!
229
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,942
[applause]
230
00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:17,774
[sighs]
SO THAT WAS IT.
231
00:09:17,904 --> 00:09:19,863
THREE DAYS OF THE GOOD LIFE.
232
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,213
NOW I'M BACK TO BEING REGULAR,
AVERAGE JOE.
233
00:09:22,343 --> 00:09:24,607
WELL, WE LOVE
REGULAR, AVERAGE JOE.
234
00:09:24,737 --> 00:09:26,217
REGULAR JOE IS GREAT.
235
00:09:26,347 --> 00:09:28,045
GUYS, LET'S FACE IT.
236
00:09:28,175 --> 00:09:31,309
REGULAR JOE IS NOT GETTING
ANY MORE BONUS TATER TOTS,
237
00:09:31,439 --> 00:09:33,920
AND HE'S DEFINITELY
NOT GETTING FREE SNEAKERS.
238
00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:37,097
I MEAN, I NEVER REALIZED
HOW BORING NORMAL LIFE WAS
239
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:38,316
UNTIL I WAS FAMOUS.
240
00:09:38,446 --> 00:09:39,578
HEY, NO,
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
241
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,711
OR--OR BORING
ABOUT BEING NORMAL.
242
00:09:41,841 --> 00:09:43,843
IT'S JUST,
FOR THE FIRST TIME,
243
00:09:43,974 --> 00:09:46,454
I FELT WHAT IT MUST FEEL LIKE
TO BE YOU, DAD.
244
00:09:46,585 --> 00:09:48,718
YOU KNOW, IMPORTANT.
245
00:09:48,848 --> 00:09:50,371
NO, YOU SAY GOOD-BYE FIRST.
246
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:53,200
[giggling]
NO, YOU.
247
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:54,854
YOU'RE SO CUTE...
248
00:09:56,813 --> 00:10:00,033
TELEPHONE SURVEY PERSON.
249
00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:01,034
WHO WAS THAT?
250
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:03,907
YOUR FRIEND,
"ANITA NECKLACE"?
251
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,827
JANIE, HONEY, WHY DON'T
YOU GO UP TO EMILY'S ROOM
252
00:10:10,957 --> 00:10:13,830
AND, UH, GET A FEEL
FOR THE SPACE, OKAY?
253
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,660
JOE, I'M GONNA LET YOU IN
ON A LITTLE SECRET.
254
00:10:17,790 --> 00:10:21,446
I DON'T NEED TO HAVE V.I.P.
TREATMENT TO BE HAPPY.
255
00:10:21,576 --> 00:10:22,708
HONEY, YOU WHINED
THE WHOLE RIDE HOME
256
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:25,755
BECAUSE WE WEREN'T
IN THE SNEAKER MOBILE.
257
00:10:25,885 --> 00:10:27,365
THE TONGUE IS THE SUNROOF.
258
00:10:27,495 --> 00:10:29,628
HOW COOL IS THAT?
259
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:30,803
YEAH, JOE, I CAN BE NORMAL.
260
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:31,804
I'M--I'M GONNA
PROVE IT TO YOU.
261
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:33,763
SHOOT AND SCORE.
262
00:10:33,893 --> 00:10:35,634
YOUR TICKET GUY
CAME THROUGH, DAVID.
263
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,505
LAKERS, HEAT.
FLOOR SEATS.
264
00:10:37,636 --> 00:10:39,159
CAN I GET A WHAT, WHAT?
265
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:40,291
OKAY, YOU KNOW, KEVIN,
266
00:10:40,421 --> 00:10:41,814
THANK YOU,
BUT I DON'T WANT THEM.
267
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:44,599
- WHAT, WHAT?
- HERE WE GO, OKAY.
268
00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:45,775
HERE'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
269
00:10:45,905 --> 00:10:46,950
I'M GONNA TAKE JOE
AND MARCUS
270
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,734
TO THE LAKER GAME
LIKE A NORMAL GUY WOULD,
271
00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,388
WE'RE GONNA SIT
IN NORMAL SEATS,
272
00:10:50,518 --> 00:10:52,085
AND WE'RE GONNA
HAVE JUST AS MUCH FUN.
273
00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:54,000
DAD, HOW ARE YOU GONNA GET
THROUGH A PUBLIC EVENT
274
00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:56,133
WITHOUT BEING HOUNDED
FOR AUTOGRAPHS?
275
00:10:56,263 --> 00:10:59,963
[sighs] WE ALL KNOW
THAT I CAN'T GO AS DAVID HOBBS.
276
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:03,314
BUT YOU WANNA KNOW
WHO I CAN GO AS?
277
00:11:03,444 --> 00:11:06,143
SCHNECK, RUSSELL SCHNECK.
278
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,146
IS THIS GREAT, JOE?
279
00:11:09,276 --> 00:11:12,062
JUST A COUPLE OF REGULAR GUYS
ENJOYING SOME REGULAR SEATS.
280
00:11:12,192 --> 00:11:13,367
YOU WERE RIGHT, DAD.
281
00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:14,717
NO ONE HOUNDED YOU.
282
00:11:14,847 --> 00:11:15,805
WELL, HOLD ON THERE, MISTER.
283
00:11:15,935 --> 00:11:18,111
YOU MEAN NOBODY HOUNDED
RUSSELL SCHNECK,
284
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:20,200
FLOOR COVERING SALESMAN.
285
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:23,551
ALWAYS AND "FLOOREVER,"
TARZANA SHOWROOM.
286
00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:27,207
CAN I GET A WHAT, WHAT?
[shrill laugh]
287
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:30,036
[all cheer]
288
00:11:32,386 --> 00:11:34,693
[all cheer]
289
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,913
- [laughs]
- THIS IS GREAT, DAD.
290
00:11:37,043 --> 00:11:38,610
WE ARE SO HIGH UP,
I FEEL LIKE I'M FALLING,
291
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,394
EVEN THOUGH
I'M SITTING DOWN.
292
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:41,874
I KNOW, RIGHT?
293
00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,006
AND WE NEVER
GOT TO DO THE WAVE
294
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,659
WHEN WE WERE ON THE FLOOR.
295
00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:47,532
YEAH, AND--AND ONLY REGULAR
GUYS GET TO DO THIS.
296
00:11:47,662 --> 00:11:50,665
HEY, HEAT, PUT THIS
ON THE JUMBO SCREEN!
297
00:11:50,796 --> 00:11:52,493
[chuckles]
298
00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,104
[crowd cheering]
WHOO-HOO!
299
00:11:54,234 --> 00:11:56,454
MARCUS, WHERE YOU BEEN, MAN?
YOU MISSED THE TIP-OFF.
300
00:11:56,584 --> 00:11:58,325
I HAD TO GO TO BASE CAMP
301
00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:01,459
TO ACCLIMATE TO THE ALTITUDE
BEFORE MY FINAL ASCENT.
302
00:12:01,589 --> 00:12:02,765
[breathes heavily]
303
00:12:02,895 --> 00:12:04,331
CAN I GET A HIT
OF THAT, SIR?
304
00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:05,985
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
305
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:08,945
[breathes deeply]
306
00:12:09,075 --> 00:12:10,033
THANK YOU.
307
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,034
ALL RIGHT, DAVID.
308
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,296
NOBODY RECOGNIZED YOU.
309
00:12:12,426 --> 00:12:13,427
YOU MADE YOUR POINT.
310
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:14,559
WHEN CAN WE GO BACK
311
00:12:14,689 --> 00:12:16,082
TO TAKING ADVANTAGE
OF YOUR CELEBRITY?
312
00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:18,128
OH, NO, NO, RUSSELL SCHNECK'S
GONNA BE WITH US
313
00:12:18,258 --> 00:12:19,912
ALL NIGHT LONG, MARCUS.
314
00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:22,175
- YES.
- SEE? JOE'S ON BOARD.
315
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:23,350
NO, MY EARS JUST POPPED.
316
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,091
[bird coos]
317
00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:28,312
AHH, IS THAT A PIGEON?
[spits]
318
00:12:28,442 --> 00:12:29,313
A PIGEON?
319
00:12:29,443 --> 00:12:30,923
NATURE AND SPORTS?
320
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:33,447
IF I FIND A ROCK,
MY HEAD'S GONNA EXPLODE.
321
00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:36,407
[all cheer]
- YES!
322
00:12:36,537 --> 00:12:37,930
I CAN'T EVEN SEE
WHAT'S GOING ON FROM UP HERE.
323
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,236
COULD BE WINNING,
COULD BE LOSING.
324
00:12:39,366 --> 00:12:41,629
DON'T KNOW.
ALL PART OF THE EXPERIENCE.
325
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:42,979
MAYBE MR. SCHNECK
SHOULD HAVE STUCK
326
00:12:43,109 --> 00:12:44,719
ONE OF THESE
IN HIS FANNY PACK.
327
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:46,156
WELL, IN FACT, I DID.
328
00:12:46,286 --> 00:12:48,419
A SCHNECK
IS ALWAYS PREPARED.
329
00:12:48,549 --> 00:12:51,378
[shrill laugh]
330
00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:52,684
OH, THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
331
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:53,685
IT'S LIKE I'M ON THE COURT.
332
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:54,729
I SEE NICHOLSON.
333
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,514
I SEE SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.
334
00:12:56,644 --> 00:12:58,516
I SEE EMILY, XANDER MCGINLEY.
335
00:12:58,646 --> 00:13:01,649
WHAT?
336
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,826
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
337
00:13:03,956 --> 00:13:06,002
WHAT IS MY DAUGHTER
DOING WITH A MCGINLEY?
338
00:13:06,132 --> 00:13:07,612
[Schneck impression]
OH, THEY COULD BE KISSING,
339
00:13:07,742 --> 00:13:08,831
COULD BE HUGGING.
WE DON'T KNOW.
340
00:13:08,961 --> 00:13:10,658
THAT'S PART
OF THE EXPERIENCE.
341
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,747
THAT'S--COME ON.
342
00:13:18,884 --> 00:13:20,277
YOU REALIZE
THE ONLY WAY
343
00:13:20,407 --> 00:13:22,322
YOU'RE GONNA GET
TO THAT FLOOR IS AS DAVID HOBBS.
344
00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:23,889
WELL, NO, NO.
NOT TONIGHT, MARCUS.
345
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,760
NOT TONIGHT--
I PROMISED JOE
346
00:13:25,891 --> 00:13:26,674
THAT I WOULD SPEND
THE REST OF THE NIGHT
347
00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,720
AS A REGULAR GUY, OKAY?
348
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:29,982
SO WHEN I WRING
XANDER'S NECK,
349
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:32,811
IT'S GONNA BE
AS RUSSELL SCHNECK.
350
00:13:34,987 --> 00:13:35,945
OOF.
351
00:13:36,075 --> 00:13:36,946
TICKETS, PLEASE.
352
00:13:37,076 --> 00:13:37,947
UH, YES, MA'AM, I REALIZE
353
00:13:38,077 --> 00:13:39,078
THAT THIS
IS NOT MY SECTION,
354
00:13:39,209 --> 00:13:40,427
BUT I NEED TO SPEAK
WITH MY DAUGHTER.
355
00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:41,733
SHE'S SITTING RIGHT THERE.
356
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,996
IN THAT CASE...TICKETS.
357
00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:46,259
UM, YES, YOU SEE,
HERE'S THE SITUATION.
358
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:47,870
SHE'S SITTING ON THE FLOOR
WITH A YOUNG BOY
359
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,785
THAT I HIGHLY DISAPPROVE OF,
AND SHE KNOWS THAT.
360
00:13:50,916 --> 00:13:52,744
AH, WELL, IN THAT CASE...
361
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,833
TICKETS!
362
00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:56,182
YOU WANNA TRY IT AGAIN?
363
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:58,228
'CAUSE I CAN PLAY THIS
ALL NIGHT LONG, MAN.
364
00:13:58,358 --> 00:13:59,925
UH, JUST TELL HER
WHO YOU ARE.
365
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,666
UH, YEAH, YES, MA'AM.
I'M--I'M--
366
00:14:01,796 --> 00:14:02,928
I'M--I'M RUSSELL SCHNECK,
367
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,756
FLOOR COVERING SALESMAN.
368
00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:06,627
YES, MADAME, MAY--MAY I
ASK YOU A QUESTION?
369
00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:08,281
IS THAT FLOOR
A STAMPED CONCRETE,
370
00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:10,414
OR IS THAT
IMPORTED TRAVERTINE?
371
00:14:10,544 --> 00:14:11,763
OOH! OOH...
372
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,852
DID YOU JUST
TRY TO HANDLE ME?
373
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:15,071
UH, WELL, NO, MA'AM.
374
00:14:15,201 --> 00:14:16,942
UH, NOT ON PURPOSE.
NO, I DIDN'T--
375
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:20,424
- YOU KNOW WHAT? COME HERE.
- OH, OH. OKAY.
376
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,122
THIS IS ALL
JUST A GIANT MISTAKE.
377
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:25,733
IF YOU COME DOWN
TO OUR SHOWROOM IN TARZANA
378
00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:30,390
I'LL GIVE YOU 40% OFF ANY TILE
THAT WE HAVE IN STOCK.
379
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:34,786
I'M PERFECTLY HAPPY WITH
MY FLOORING SITUATION, SIR.
380
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,006
AND, BY THE WAY, THANK YOU
FOR ASSAULTING ME
381
00:14:37,136 --> 00:14:39,008
BECAUSE NOW I CAN
WATCH THE ENTIRE GAME
382
00:14:39,138 --> 00:14:40,705
WHILE I FILL OUT MY REPORT.
383
00:14:40,835 --> 00:14:44,535
SO TAKE A SEAT 'CAUSE YOU
GONNA BE HERE FOR A WHILE.
384
00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:49,975
[shoes play {\an8}Pop Goes the Weasel]
- MOMMY, LOOK.
385
00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:52,195
I'M A CHEERLEADER.
386
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:56,242
[laughs]
JANIE, THAT'S SO CUTE.
387
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:58,375
AMY, WHEN WILL THIS SUGAR
NIGHTMARE END?
388
00:14:58,505 --> 00:15:00,725
WAIT FOR IT.
389
00:15:00,855 --> 00:15:05,338
TWO, FOUR, SIX...EIGHT...
390
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:08,994
I'M TIRED.
391
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:11,779
AND THAT'S JENGA.
392
00:15:11,910 --> 00:15:14,565
[whistle blows]
- UH-OH.
393
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:18,351
EMILY AND XANDER MCGINLEY
ARE TOGETHER?
394
00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:19,962
DAVID WOULD BE HORRIFIED.
395
00:15:20,092 --> 00:15:22,442
KEVIN, LET ME HANDLE THIS.
396
00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:24,705
HI, HONEY.
397
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:27,099
LOOK, I NEED YOU
TO BE AS CALM AS POSSIBLE.
398
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,275
DAD'S HERE?
399
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:30,581
WHERE?
400
00:15:30,711 --> 00:15:31,712
WHERE?
DID HE SEE ME?
401
00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:32,844
HEY, EM, LOOK.
402
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,672
WE'RE ON THE KISS CAM.
403
00:15:34,802 --> 00:15:36,195
NO KISSING!
404
00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:37,892
[blows whistle]
405
00:15:38,023 --> 00:15:41,766
[blows whistle repeatedly]
406
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:48,338
YOU WAS IN THAT MEN'S ROOM
AN AWFULLY LONG TIME.
407
00:15:48,468 --> 00:15:50,818
IT WAS A $33 BUCKET OF SODA.
408
00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:53,952
IT HAD TO GO SOMEWHERE.
409
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,042
MARCUS, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
410
00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:59,436
YOUNG JOE, KICK BACK AND RELAX
411
00:15:59,566 --> 00:16:03,048
AND LET YOUR UNCLE MARCUS SWEET
TALK YOUR DAD'S WAY TO FREEDOM.
412
00:16:08,227 --> 00:16:09,707
HEY, BEAUTIFUL.
413
00:16:09,837 --> 00:16:12,927
I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT
YOU ARE OWNING THAT UNIFORM,
414
00:16:13,058 --> 00:16:14,668
OWNING IT.
415
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:17,280
SIT DOWN, STRING BEAN,
BEFORE I SNAP YOU IN HALF
416
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,977
AND SERVE YOU
WITH SOME MEATLOAF.
417
00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:21,240
[chuckles]
418
00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:25,027
YOU KNOW, A LESSER MAN
WOULD BE INTIMIDATED.
419
00:16:25,157 --> 00:16:28,856
THE FACT THAT I'M WALKING AWAY
IS JUST A COINCIDENCE, THOUGH.
420
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:31,772
WHAT DID SHE SAY?
421
00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:34,514
SHE MARINATING ON IT.
422
00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:36,560
PSST.
423
00:16:36,690 --> 00:16:39,258
JOE, I NEED YOU TO GO UP
TO THE MEN'S ROOM
424
00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:41,565
AND GET MY EYEGLASS
REPAIR KIT.
425
00:16:41,695 --> 00:16:43,001
WHY DO YOU HAVE
AN EYEGLASS REPAIR KIT?
426
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,089
I-I-I DON'T.
427
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,482
RUSSELL SCHNECK DOES.
428
00:16:45,612 --> 00:16:47,223
YOU SEE, WHEN I GET IN
CHARACTER, I GO ALL THE WAY.
429
00:16:47,353 --> 00:16:48,528
OKAY, LISTEN TO ME.
430
00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:50,487
NEED YOU TO PUT YOUR HAND
IN THE TOILET TANK,
431
00:16:50,617 --> 00:16:53,316
GET THE EYEGLASS REPAIR KIT,
COME BACK HERE,
432
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:54,795
AND JIMMY THE LOCK
WITH THE SMALL SCREWDRIVER,
433
00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:56,275
AND WE'LL ALL ESCAPE.
434
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:58,669
YOU HAD ME
AT "REACH INTO THE TOILET."
435
00:16:58,799 --> 00:17:01,280
I'M GONNA GO WITH HIM,
MAKE SURE HE WASHES HIS HANDS.
436
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:03,065
UH, WE GONNA GO
TO THE BATHROOM, DARLING.
437
00:17:03,195 --> 00:17:05,197
WE B--
438
00:17:08,287 --> 00:17:10,855
EMILY, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
439
00:17:10,985 --> 00:17:12,378
THIS IS ONLY HAPPENING
440
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:13,988
BECAUSE YOU WOT
TELL YOUR DAD ABOUT US.
441
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:15,555
I KNOW, I KNOW.
442
00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:17,079
COME ON.
443
00:17:17,209 --> 00:17:20,908
WE'VE BEEN SEEING
EACH OTHER FOR A MONTH.
444
00:17:21,039 --> 00:17:23,563
BESIDES, MY DAD KNOWS.
445
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:27,045
YOU'VE BEEN OVER FOR DINNER,
LIKE, FIVE TIMES.
446
00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:29,047
I KNOW, AND EVERY TIME,
I FEEL SO GUILTY
447
00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:31,876
I GO HOME AND SPILL MY GUTS
TO MY MOM.
448
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,314
SHE'S RIGHT.
449
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:36,663
I HAVE TO TELL HIM.
450
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:37,969
AT LEAST BEFORE JANIE TELLS HIM.
451
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,058
[bangs head on wall,
grunts]
452
00:17:42,756 --> 00:17:46,195
I CAN'T STAND
LYING TO HIM, XANDER.
453
00:17:46,325 --> 00:17:48,110
THEN LET'S
TELL HIM THE TRUTH.
454
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,373
WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER.
455
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,637
AS LONG AS YOU STAND
A LITTLE BIT IN FRONT OF ME.
456
00:17:53,767 --> 00:17:55,943
I'M JUST AFRAID HE'LL FREAK
OUT AND SAY NO.
457
00:17:56,074 --> 00:17:57,684
AND THEN WHAT?
458
00:17:57,815 --> 00:18:01,166
I DON'T KNOW.
459
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:02,776
DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
460
00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:04,213
YOU HAVE MY BLESSING.
461
00:18:04,343 --> 00:18:05,649
I'M SORRY,
YOU'RE CHIMING IN
462
00:18:05,779 --> 00:18:07,607
ON MY CONVERSATION BECAUSE...
463
00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:09,696
BECAUSE I'M YOUR FATHER.
464
00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:13,091
YOU'RE MY FATHER?
465
00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:15,963
XANDER MCGINLEY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
466
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:19,141
DAD, I GOT THE TOOL KIT.
467
00:18:19,271 --> 00:18:20,446
- OH--
- JOE?
468
00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:22,796
EMILY?
469
00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:24,407
HELLO, SIR.
470
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:28,541
EMILY AND I HAVE SOMETHING
WE'D LIKE TO TELL YOU.
471
00:18:28,672 --> 00:18:32,545
I REALLY WANTED TO TELL YOU,
BUT I WAS AFRAID.
472
00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:36,854
OH, EMILY, YOU DON'T
EVER HAVE TO BE AFRAID.
473
00:18:36,984 --> 00:18:40,162
YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING
AT ANY TIME.
474
00:18:40,292 --> 00:18:41,380
[lock clicks]
- I GOT IT.
475
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:44,209
EXCEPT FOR RIGHT NOW.
476
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:45,645
ALL RIGHT, NOW WE NEED
A DISTRACTION.
477
00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:47,125
OH, OH.
478
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:49,823
[bird noises]
479
00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:51,216
WHAT'S THAT?
480
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:51,956
I'M TRYING
TO CALL THAT PIGEON.
481
00:18:52,086 --> 00:18:53,262
MAYBE HE HAS SOME FRIENDS
482
00:18:53,392 --> 00:18:54,872
THAT'LL SWOOP DOWN
TO CREATE A DIVERSION.
483
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:02,662
IS THAT COMING
FROM THE MEN'S ROOM?
484
00:19:04,664 --> 00:19:06,536
OH--ARE YOU SERIOUS?
485
00:19:06,666 --> 00:19:08,015
THIS--THIS--
486
00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:09,887
THAT'S A STROKE OF LUCK.
487
00:19:10,017 --> 00:19:11,671
NOT REALLY.
488
00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:12,977
DID YOU BREAK THE TOILET?
489
00:19:13,107 --> 00:19:14,108
I DIDN'T BREAK THE TOILET.
490
00:19:14,239 --> 00:19:16,023
RUSSELL SCHNECK JUNIOR DID.
491
00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:18,069
EW, EW.
492
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,114
- COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
- ALL RIGHT.
493
00:19:20,245 --> 00:19:22,508
THIS IS THE MOST ROMANTIC
MOMENT OF MY LIFE.
494
00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,336
DON'T WORRY,
I GOT LONG LEGS.
495
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:26,730
AHH! APPARENTLY
NOT LONG ENOUGH.
496
00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:28,732
[whimpering]
- HOP ON MY BACK.
497
00:19:28,862 --> 00:19:30,081
I DON'T WANNA GET
YOUR HERO SHOES ALL DIRTY.
498
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:31,952
HEY, SOMETIMES
A REGULAR GUY
499
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:34,303
HAS TO WALK THROUGH
POOP WATER IN HIS HERO SHOES.
500
00:19:34,433 --> 00:19:35,826
OKAY.
OOH.
501
00:19:35,956 --> 00:19:37,654
OOH, YEAH.
502
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:45,183
THANKS AGAIN
FOR THE GAME, MR. SCHNECK.
503
00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:48,317
YOU'RE WELCOME,
RUSSELL SCHNECK JUNIOR.
504
00:19:48,447 --> 00:19:50,754
[shrill laugh]
505
00:19:50,884 --> 00:19:53,757
DAD, THIS WAS SERIOUSLY
THE GREATEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE.
506
00:19:53,887 --> 00:19:54,975
AND YOU WERE RIGHT.
507
00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:56,934
AVERAGE JOES CAN HAVE FUN.
508
00:19:57,064 --> 00:19:59,328
YOU ARE ANYTHING
BUT AVERAGE.
509
00:19:59,458 --> 00:20:03,070
IN FACT, JOE,
YOU'RE EXTRAORDINARY.
510
00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:09,990
ALL RIGHT, GO UPSTAIRS.
511
00:20:12,732 --> 00:20:14,212
CAKE.
512
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:18,825
[shoes play {\an8}
Pop Goes the Weasel]
513
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:26,964
♪
514
00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:38,758
WHAT?