1
00:00:08,919 --> 00:00:10,387
DADDY, WHAT'S UP WITH JOE
THIS MORNING?

2
00:00:10,554 --> 00:00:12,223
WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

3
00:00:12,389 --> 00:00:13,424
HEY, BUDDY.
YOU GOT A GOOD NIGHT'S--

4
00:00:13,590 --> 00:00:16,893
BREAKFAST READY YET?

5
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,396
UH...YOU OKAY?

6
00:00:19,563 --> 00:00:22,032
YEAH. NEVER BETTER.

7
00:00:25,636 --> 00:00:27,538
DADDY, WHY IS HE WINKING
AT US?

8
00:00:27,704 --> 00:00:29,906
JOE, IS THERE AN INSIDE JOKE
THAT I FORGOT ABOUT?

9
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,375
BECAUSE IF THERE IS,
WHATEVER IT IS...

10
00:00:31,542 --> 00:00:34,111
OKAY?

11
00:00:34,278 --> 00:00:35,579
THERE YOU GO.

12
00:00:35,746 --> 00:00:37,414
- PATTIES?
- YEP.

13
00:00:37,581 --> 00:00:40,151
PATTIES?
DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?

14
00:00:40,317 --> 00:00:41,985
YEAH, UH,
RIGHT NOW, NO.

15
00:00:42,153 --> 00:00:44,355
LINKS.
I PREFER MY SAUSAGE LINKED.

16
00:00:44,521 --> 00:00:45,689
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

17
00:00:45,856 --> 00:00:47,558
SINCE WHEN DID YOU EVER CARE

18
00:00:47,724 --> 00:00:49,760
WHAT SHAPE YOUR BREAKFAST MEAT
COMES IN?

19
00:00:49,926 --> 00:00:51,528
SORRY.

20
00:00:51,695 --> 00:00:52,829
I'M TWO WEEKS AWAY
FROM BREAKING

21
00:00:52,996 --> 00:00:54,731
THE SCHOOL DISTRICT RECORD

22
00:00:54,898 --> 00:00:55,966
FOR CONSECUTIVE DAYS
WITHOUT AN ABSENCE.

23
00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:57,601
YOU'VE NEVER MISSED

24
00:00:57,768 --> 00:00:59,603
A DAY OF SCHOOL?
- NEVER.

25
00:00:59,770 --> 00:01:00,671
NOT EVEN THE TIME THAT
YOU BROKE YOUR LITTLE--

26
00:01:00,837 --> 00:01:01,972
NEVER!

27
00:01:02,173 --> 00:01:03,174
THE STRESS IS KILLING ME.

28
00:01:03,274 --> 00:01:05,041
LOOK, COME ON.

29
00:01:05,209 --> 00:01:06,677
THIS MUCH STRESS AT YOUR AGE
IS NOT HEALTHY.

30
00:01:06,843 --> 00:01:10,314
NEITHER ARE THESE PATTIES.

31
00:01:10,481 --> 00:01:12,416
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE
A DAY OFF?

32
00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:14,218
- "A DAY OFF?"
- YEAH.

33
00:01:14,385 --> 00:01:16,420
[laughs maniacally]
"A DAY OFF"?

34
00:01:16,587 --> 00:01:17,821
BUT JOE, YOU GOTTA FORGET
ABOUT THIS SCHOOL RECORD THING.

35
00:01:17,988 --> 00:01:19,690
COME ON.

36
00:01:19,856 --> 00:01:21,825
YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'M GONNA CALL THE SCHOOL

37
00:01:21,992 --> 00:01:23,660
TO TELL THEM YOU'RE SICK.
WE'RE GONNA GO TO THE BEACH.

38
00:01:23,827 --> 00:01:25,629
WE'RE GONNA PLAY HOOKY.
HOW ABOUT THAT?

39
00:01:25,796 --> 00:01:27,664
BUT DAD, THAT'S TOTALLY
AGAINST THE RULES.

40
00:01:27,831 --> 00:01:29,533
JOE, SOME RULES ARE MEANT
TO BE BROKEN, RIGHT?

41
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:30,767
AND BESIDES,
IT'S CALLED PLAYING HOOKY.

42
00:01:30,934 --> 00:01:32,503
IF IT WAS A BAD THING,

43
00:01:32,669 --> 00:01:34,004
THEY'D CALL IT
COMMITTING HOOKY.

44
00:01:34,205 --> 00:01:35,772
OKAY? YOU IN?

45
00:01:35,939 --> 00:01:37,574
- YEAH. OKAY.
- OKAY, BEAUTIFUL.

46
00:01:37,741 --> 00:01:39,643
GREAT.
- IF YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA.

47
00:01:39,810 --> 00:01:41,345
I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA.
COME ON, BOTH OF YOU.

48
00:01:41,512 --> 00:01:43,113
BATHING SUITS ON.
LET'S GO.

49
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:44,881
TOTALLY,
TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.

50
00:01:45,048 --> 00:01:46,450
- MOM, PLEASE. GET INSIDE.
- RUDE.

51
00:01:46,617 --> 00:01:48,452
INCONSIDERATE.
SELFISH.

52
00:01:48,619 --> 00:01:52,556
ANOTHER MORNING POWER WALK
RUINED BY DOG POOP.

53
00:01:52,723 --> 00:01:54,691
THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME
THIS WEEK ON OUR LAWN.

54
00:01:54,858 --> 00:01:56,827
AND EVERYBODY KNOWS, HONEY,

55
00:01:56,993 --> 00:01:58,829
IF YOUR DOG RELEASES,
YOU GOTTA PICK UP THE PIECES.

56
00:01:58,995 --> 00:02:00,964
HMM, HMM. HMM.

57
00:02:01,131 --> 00:02:02,065
[chuckles] REALLY?

58
00:02:02,233 --> 00:02:03,400
OH, YEAH.

59
00:02:03,567 --> 00:02:04,735
BETTER THAN YESTERDAY'S GEM.

60
00:02:04,901 --> 00:02:06,437
"IF YOUR DOG MAKES A DOODY,

61
00:02:06,603 --> 00:02:08,805
I'M CALLING JUDGE JUDY."
- HMM.

62
00:02:08,972 --> 00:02:11,675
YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M GONNA FIND
OUT WHO'S DOING IT,

63
00:02:11,842 --> 00:02:13,244
AND I'M GONNA BRING HIM
TO JUSTICE.

64
00:02:13,410 --> 00:02:16,012
YEAH.

65
00:02:16,247 --> 00:02:17,614
SOUNDS LIKE A REAL
"POO DONE IT?"

66
00:02:17,781 --> 00:02:18,949
RIGHT HERE.

67
00:02:19,115 --> 00:02:20,851
EMILY, DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING.

68
00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:22,253
COME ON.

69
00:02:22,419 --> 00:02:25,256
[upbeat music]

70
00:02:25,422 --> 00:02:32,896
♪

71
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:44,975
JOE, JUST WASH OFF
THE BOOGIE BOARD.

72
00:02:45,141 --> 00:02:46,443
LEAVE IT OUTSIDE, OKAY?
THANK YOU.

73
00:02:46,610 --> 00:02:47,944
DAVID...

74
00:02:48,111 --> 00:02:51,047
TOWELS?
FLIP-FLOPS? SAND TOYS?

75
00:02:51,282 --> 00:02:54,084
YOUR BRONZE GLOW THAT
EVEN THE GODS WOULD ENVY?

76
00:02:54,285 --> 00:02:55,552
YOU WENT TO BEACH WITHOUT ME?

77
00:02:55,719 --> 00:02:58,322
THAT'S OUR ONE RULE.

78
00:02:58,489 --> 00:03:01,492
SOME RULES ARE MEANT
TO BE BROKEN, KEVIN.

79
00:03:01,658 --> 00:03:03,594
IN FACT,
I'M BLOWING MY NAP OFF

80
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,630
AND GETTING JACKED UP
ON SUGAR.

81
00:03:06,797 --> 00:03:09,032
DON'T MAKE THIS A THING, KEVIN.

82
00:03:09,199 --> 00:03:10,734
IT'S YOUR THING.

83
00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:12,369
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID,
"KEVIN, NEVER LET ME

84
00:03:12,536 --> 00:03:13,570
"GO TO BEACH WITHOUT YOU
BECAUSE I FORGET

85
00:03:13,737 --> 00:03:15,038
TO PUT SUNSCREEN ON THE KIDS."

86
00:03:15,205 --> 00:03:16,340
NO, THAT WAS THE OLD DAVID.

87
00:03:16,507 --> 00:03:17,874
YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW, KEVIN,

88
00:03:18,041 --> 00:03:20,076
I USED A BOTTLE OF SPF 30
ON JANIE

89
00:03:20,311 --> 00:03:23,980
AND ON MILKY WHITE JOE,
I PUT ON...

90
00:03:24,147 --> 00:03:26,317
STEEL SHIELD.

91
00:03:26,483 --> 00:03:29,052
YEAH, THAT'S A BUG SPRAY, DAVID.

92
00:03:29,219 --> 00:03:30,921
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED
THE DEAD MOSQUITO

93
00:03:31,087 --> 00:03:33,390
LYING ON ITS BACK.

94
00:03:33,557 --> 00:03:35,692
I THOUGHT
IT WAS JUST SUNBATHING.

95
00:03:35,859 --> 00:03:37,928
IT WAS THE BEST DAY EVER, DAD.

96
00:03:38,094 --> 00:03:40,631
[gasps]

97
00:03:40,797 --> 00:03:41,665
WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?

98
00:03:41,832 --> 00:03:42,866
I DON'T KNOW.

99
00:03:43,033 --> 00:03:44,635
HE WASN'T THAT RED IN THE CAR.

100
00:03:44,801 --> 00:03:46,470
WHOO.

101
00:03:46,637 --> 00:03:48,772
HEY, DAVID.
I GOT GREAT NEWS, MAN.

102
00:03:48,939 --> 00:03:50,707
I GOT A CALL FROM
THE "DADS WHO CARE" PEOPLE.

103
00:03:50,874 --> 00:03:52,343
AND THEIR CHARITY WOULD LIKE
TO HONOR US,

104
00:03:52,509 --> 00:03:53,644
THE CREATORS
OF {\an8}<i>SEE DAD RUN,</i>

105
00:03:53,810 --> 00:03:56,347
AS CARING DADS OF THE YEAR.

106
00:03:56,447 --> 00:03:58,949
WE HAVE A NATIONAL RADIO
INTERVIEW THIS SATURDAY.

107
00:03:59,115 --> 00:04:00,651
THAT'S GREAT.
DID YOU HEAR THAT?

108
00:04:00,817 --> 00:04:03,119
THEY THINK I CARE.
- YEAH.

109
00:04:03,354 --> 00:04:05,822
DO THEY KNOW THAT YOU USE
BUG SPRAY AS SUNSCREEN?

110
00:04:05,989 --> 00:04:07,891
OH--

111
00:04:08,058 --> 00:04:10,026
[whispers] THAT IS THE WORST
SUNBURN I'VE EVER SEEN.

112
00:04:10,193 --> 00:04:11,995
WHAT DID YOU DO?

113
00:04:12,162 --> 00:04:13,864
IT'S JUST HIS FACE
A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW..

114
00:04:14,030 --> 00:04:15,566
AND BESIDES,
IT'S JUST A REMINDER

115
00:04:15,732 --> 00:04:17,067
OF THE GREAT DAY WE HAD,
RIGHT?

116
00:04:17,233 --> 00:04:18,134
- [groans] AH.
- OOH.

117
00:04:18,369 --> 00:04:20,103
[pops lips]

118
00:04:20,270 --> 00:04:21,271
LET'S SEE WHAT WE'VE GOT
GOING ON HERE, JOE.

119
00:04:24,975 --> 00:04:26,743
NOTICE? NO BUG BITES.

120
00:04:26,910 --> 00:04:29,380
DAD, WHEN THE KIDS AT SCHOOL
SEE MY SUNBURN,

121
00:04:29,546 --> 00:04:31,247
THEY'RE GONNA KNOW WE WENT
TO THE BEACH.

122
00:04:31,415 --> 00:04:33,116
YEAH, WELL,
UH, YOU KNOW, JOE,

123
00:04:33,283 --> 00:04:34,385
[stammers]
I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF THIS.

124
00:04:34,485 --> 00:04:35,819
I GOT AN IDEA, OKAY?

125
00:04:35,986 --> 00:04:37,988
KEVIN, CAN YOU RUN A BATH?

126
00:04:38,154 --> 00:04:39,390
OOH,
A COOL BATH DOES SOUND GOOD.

127
00:04:39,490 --> 00:04:41,224
YEAH, RUN ONE FOR JOE TOO.

128
00:04:41,392 --> 00:04:42,292
OKAY, BUT MINE FIRST
'CAUSE I GOT SOME SAND

129
00:04:42,459 --> 00:04:42,726
IN MY NETHERS.

130
00:04:48,298 --> 00:04:50,601
MAKEUP?
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS, DAD.

131
00:04:50,767 --> 00:04:52,569
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT, JOE?

132
00:04:52,736 --> 00:04:54,405
LOOK, YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE
THE SUNBURN ANYMORE.

133
00:04:54,571 --> 00:04:56,440
NICE WORK, BLAKE.
- ANY TIME, DAVID.

134
00:04:56,607 --> 00:04:58,742
ALL RIGHT. YEAH, THANKS
FOR TOUCHING ME UP TOO.

135
00:04:58,909 --> 00:05:01,878
DAD, WHAT IF THE WHOLE SCHOOL
FINDS OUT THE TRUTH?

136
00:05:02,045 --> 00:05:05,281
JOE, I'M NOT EMBARRASSED THAT
I WEAR A TINTED MOISTURIZER.

137
00:05:05,449 --> 00:05:07,117
I'M TALKING ABOUT ME, DAD.

138
00:05:07,283 --> 00:05:09,052
DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN I LIE?

139
00:05:09,219 --> 00:05:12,022
I'LL BE FARTING UP AND DOWN
THE HALLWAYS.

140
00:05:12,188 --> 00:05:15,258
PRICE OF FREEDOM, JOE.
PRICE OF FREEDOM.

141
00:05:15,426 --> 00:05:18,061
OKAY.
NOW IT'S PERSONAL.

142
00:05:18,228 --> 00:05:20,731
I AM GOING DOOR TO DOOR
UNTIL I IDENTIFY

143
00:05:20,897 --> 00:05:23,434
WHO THIS BELONGS TO.

144
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,602
DAD, PLEASE DO SOMETHING.

145
00:05:25,769 --> 00:05:27,904
SHE'S TURNING
INTO THE CRAZY POOP LADY.

146
00:05:28,071 --> 00:05:30,040
NOW I'VE NARROWED
THE CONTENTS DOWN

147
00:05:30,206 --> 00:05:32,876
TO EITHER THE FAZIO'S POODLE
OR THE GOLDSTEIN'S BICHON.

148
00:05:33,043 --> 00:05:34,645
HONEY, DO THESE SMELL
MORE LIKE

149
00:05:34,811 --> 00:05:36,947
MEATBALLS OR MATZOH BALLS
TO YOU?

150
00:05:37,113 --> 00:05:40,851
THEY SMELL LIKE CRAZY BALLS.

151
00:05:41,017 --> 00:05:42,686
I REST MY CASE.

152
00:05:42,853 --> 00:05:44,521
YOU KNOW, WE'RE LIVING
IN A SOCIETY

153
00:05:44,688 --> 00:05:46,457
WHERE RULES ARE MEANT
TO BE FOLLOWED.

154
00:05:46,623 --> 00:05:49,059
DADDY SAYS RULES ARE MEANT
TO BE BROKEN.

155
00:05:49,225 --> 00:05:51,194
THAT'S ONLY THE STUPID ONES,
HONEY. COME ON.

156
00:05:51,361 --> 00:05:53,096
ALL RIGHT, JOE,
GO GET IN THE CAR.

157
00:05:53,263 --> 00:05:54,865
ALL RIGHT.
OH, DON'T PUT THE SEAT BELT ON.

158
00:05:55,031 --> 00:05:56,467
I DON'T WANT TO RUIN
YOUR MAKEUP.

159
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:57,934
KIDDING.
IT'S A JOKE.

160
00:05:58,101 --> 00:05:59,002
[laughs]
COME ON.

161
00:05:59,169 --> 00:06:00,236
OKAY, HONEY.

162
00:06:00,471 --> 00:06:02,138
JUST TO UNDERSTAND YOU,

163
00:06:02,305 --> 00:06:04,541
YOUR SOLUTION
TO JOE'S STRESS PROBLEM

164
00:06:04,708 --> 00:06:06,543
IS TO DITCH SCHOOL,

165
00:06:06,710 --> 00:06:08,712
GO TO THE BEACH,
AND LIE TO COVER IT UP.

166
00:06:08,879 --> 00:06:12,015
YOU UNDERSTAND ME COMPLETELY.

167
00:06:12,182 --> 00:06:14,150
IT'S WHY WE MAKE SUCH
A PERFECT TEAM.

168
00:06:14,317 --> 00:06:16,720
YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S GONNA
SCREW THINGS UP EVEN MORE?

169
00:06:16,887 --> 00:06:18,489
[sighs]
HONEY, IF I TOOK THE TIME

170
00:06:18,589 --> 00:06:20,223
TO THINK ABOUT
WHY I DO THINGS,

171
00:06:20,390 --> 00:06:22,526
I WOULDN'T HAVE TIME
TO DO ANYTHING.

172
00:06:22,693 --> 00:06:23,960
I'M GONNA GRAB
A CUP OF COFFEE.

173
00:06:24,127 --> 00:06:25,596
ANYBODY?

174
00:06:32,903 --> 00:06:34,905
UM, DUDE,

175
00:06:35,071 --> 00:06:37,140
I DON'T WANT TO FREAK YOU OUT,

176
00:06:37,307 --> 00:06:42,713
BUT I THINK YOUR FACE IS,
LIKE, MELTING.

177
00:06:42,879 --> 00:06:44,548
all: EWW!

178
00:06:44,715 --> 00:06:45,916
ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S ENOUGH, CLASS.

179
00:06:46,082 --> 00:06:48,051
I AM CONCERNED ABOUT JOE.

180
00:06:48,218 --> 00:06:49,920
HE HAS NEVER MISSED
A DAY OF SCHOOL.

181
00:06:50,086 --> 00:06:51,522
ARE YOU OKAY, JOE?

182
00:06:51,622 --> 00:06:52,556
YEAH.

183
00:06:52,723 --> 00:06:53,690
I'M FINE.

184
00:06:53,857 --> 00:06:55,526
[flatulence]

185
00:06:58,028 --> 00:07:01,197
DOES ANYONE ELSE SMELL
SAUSAGE LINKS?

186
00:07:01,364 --> 00:07:02,866
NO, WAIT.

187
00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:04,701
PATTIES.

188
00:07:04,868 --> 00:07:07,270
JOE, UNFORTUNATELY,
I THINK

189
00:07:07,437 --> 00:07:11,107
I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

190
00:07:11,274 --> 00:07:13,544
WELL, YOU'LL BE HAPPY
TO KNOW

191
00:07:13,644 --> 00:07:15,712
THAT MY TEACHER THINKS
I HAVE A HORRIBLE SKIN DISEASE.

192
00:07:15,879 --> 00:07:16,747
AW, JOE.
THAT'S AWFUL.

193
00:07:16,913 --> 00:07:18,615
BUT?

194
00:07:18,782 --> 00:07:20,150
NOBODY SUSPECTS ME
OF PLAYING HOOKY.

195
00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:21,317
- SO?
- THANK YOU?

196
00:07:21,552 --> 00:07:23,286
YOU'RE WELCOME.

197
00:07:23,453 --> 00:07:25,055
AH, IT'S NO WONDER
YOU'RE THE DADS WHO CARE

198
00:07:25,221 --> 00:07:26,089
CO-CHAIR CO-CARING DAD
OF THE YEAR.

199
00:07:26,256 --> 00:07:27,558
UH-HUH.

200
00:07:27,691 --> 00:07:28,759
- DAD...
- HUH?

201
00:07:28,925 --> 00:07:30,627
I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP.

202
00:07:30,794 --> 00:07:31,595
THIS IS MORE PRESSURE
THAN THE STREAK.

203
00:07:31,762 --> 00:07:33,229
OH.

204
00:07:33,396 --> 00:07:35,231
JOE, TAKE IT EASY. LISTEN.

205
00:07:35,398 --> 00:07:37,100
I'M--I'M GONNA GO TO SCHOOL
WITH YOU TOMORROW,

206
00:07:37,267 --> 00:07:38,168
AND I'LL CLEAR
THE WHOLE THING UP, OKAY?

207
00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:39,035
THANKS, DAD.

208
00:07:41,938 --> 00:07:42,973
OKAY.

209
00:07:43,139 --> 00:07:44,775
I JUST ATE A BIG MEAL,

210
00:07:44,941 --> 00:07:46,743
AND I'M NOT WAITING
TO GO SWIMMING.

211
00:07:46,910 --> 00:07:50,413
LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

212
00:07:50,581 --> 00:07:52,215
[sighs]

213
00:07:52,382 --> 00:07:53,483
5 BUCKS SAYS SHE SINKS
LIKE A STONE.

214
00:07:57,921 --> 00:07:59,790
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND,
MR. HOBBS,

215
00:07:59,956 --> 00:08:01,758
BUT I MENTIONED JOE'S CONDITION
TO HIS CLASSMATES,

216
00:08:01,925 --> 00:08:04,060
AND THEY REALLY WANTED
TO DO SOMETHING.

217
00:08:04,227 --> 00:08:05,662
OH, NO.

218
00:08:05,829 --> 00:08:07,731
UH, ALL RIGHT.

219
00:08:07,898 --> 00:08:09,199
MRS. LEE, THERE'S SOMETHING
THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW.

220
00:08:09,365 --> 00:08:11,101
THE--

221
00:08:11,267 --> 00:08:13,303
[children chanting]

222
00:08:17,007 --> 00:08:17,974
YOUR SKIN CAN'T WIN.

223
00:08:18,141 --> 00:08:19,710
YOU'RE WAVING?

224
00:08:19,876 --> 00:08:21,645
OH, IT'S JUST A REFLEX, JOE.

225
00:08:21,812 --> 00:08:23,279
MR. HOBBS,

226
00:08:23,446 --> 00:08:25,081
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN.
- HEY.

227
00:08:25,248 --> 00:08:26,950
WE'RE ALL PULLING
FOR YOUR BOY.

228
00:08:27,117 --> 00:08:28,451
WELL, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

229
00:08:28,619 --> 00:08:30,621
JUST TELL THEM.

230
00:08:30,787 --> 00:08:32,522
I CAN'T.
IF WE TELL THEM THE TRUTH NOW,

231
00:08:32,689 --> 00:08:34,625
THEY'RE ALL GONNA FEEL SILLY
FOR CARING.

232
00:08:34,758 --> 00:08:35,792
[children chanting]
JOE! JOE!

233
00:08:35,959 --> 00:08:36,993
JOE! JOE! JOE! JOE!

234
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:38,328
I'M SORRY! I LIED!

235
00:08:38,494 --> 00:08:39,763
I DON'T HAVE A SKIN DISEASE.

236
00:08:42,298 --> 00:08:43,266
IT'S A MIRACLE!

237
00:08:43,433 --> 00:08:44,868
HE'S CURED!

238
00:08:45,035 --> 00:08:47,971
[all cheering]

239
00:08:48,138 --> 00:08:49,005
OH, YEAH, YES!

240
00:08:53,409 --> 00:08:55,679
FILING A FALSE ABSENCE NOTE,

241
00:08:55,846 --> 00:08:58,114
IMPERSONATING A FALSE DISEASE,

242
00:08:58,281 --> 00:09:02,285
ACCEPTING PUBLIC SYMPATHY
FOR SAID FALSE DISEASE,

243
00:09:02,452 --> 00:09:06,456
AND COMMITTING HOOKY.

244
00:09:06,657 --> 00:09:07,824
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN...
[clears throat]

245
00:09:07,991 --> 00:09:09,492
HERE'S THE THING.

246
00:09:09,660 --> 00:09:10,560
WE BOTH KNOW
THAT MY SON JOE

247
00:09:10,727 --> 00:09:12,395
IS A GOOD KID.

248
00:09:12,562 --> 00:09:13,730
HE REALLY IS.
HE'S NOT TO BLAME HERE.

249
00:09:13,897 --> 00:09:15,966
IF THERE'S ANYBODY TO BLAME...

250
00:09:16,132 --> 00:09:18,434
IT'S THE SCHOOL.

251
00:09:18,669 --> 00:09:20,236
REALLY?

252
00:09:20,403 --> 00:09:22,205
AND AS THE LEADER
OF THAT SCHOOL,

253
00:09:22,372 --> 00:09:26,743
A LOT OF THAT BLAME LIES
WITH YOU, MY FRIEND.

254
00:09:26,910 --> 00:09:28,578
I MEAN, LOOK AT THE PRESSURE
YOU PUT THESE KIDS ON.

255
00:09:28,745 --> 00:09:30,480
YOU KNOW, MY SON DEVELOPED
A TWITCH.

256
00:09:30,681 --> 00:09:32,315
THERE IT IS. LOOK AT THAT.
IT'S UNSIGHTLY.

257
00:09:32,482 --> 00:09:34,550
IS IT ANY WONDER HE NEEDED
A DAY OFF?

258
00:09:34,718 --> 00:09:36,219
AND I'LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING ELSE.

259
00:09:36,386 --> 00:09:37,520
HE'S NOT ALONE
IN ALL OF THIS.

260
00:09:37,688 --> 00:09:38,755
WHEN WE WENT TO THE BEACH,

261
00:09:38,922 --> 00:09:40,523
YOU KNOW WHAT WE SAW?

262
00:09:40,691 --> 00:09:41,825
WE SAW LACEY FISHER
AND HER MOTHER

263
00:09:41,992 --> 00:09:45,561
HANGING OUT ON A BOAT.

264
00:09:45,729 --> 00:09:47,698
NOW,
AS AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE DAD,

265
00:09:47,864 --> 00:09:49,700
I'D LIKE TO THINK
THAT YOU'D LIKE TO ACT

266
00:09:49,866 --> 00:09:52,102
AS AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE
PRINCIPAL AND APOLOGIZE.

267
00:09:52,268 --> 00:09:55,405
WOW.

268
00:09:55,571 --> 00:09:58,341
JOE, WOULD YOU STEP OUTSIDE,
SO I CAN TALK TO YOUR FATHER?

269
00:09:58,508 --> 00:10:01,311
OOH, THIS ISN'T
GONNA END WELL.

270
00:10:01,477 --> 00:10:03,379
[laughs]
I'LL BE OUT IN A SECOND.

271
00:10:03,546 --> 00:10:04,915
HE JUST WANTS TO APOLOGIZE
TO ME IN PRIVATE.

272
00:10:05,081 --> 00:10:06,216
I GET IT.

273
00:10:06,382 --> 00:10:08,384
DID I SAY "WOW" ALREADY?

274
00:10:08,551 --> 00:10:12,488
'CAUSE IF I DID,
I SHOULD HAVE ADDED THIS TO IT.

275
00:10:14,725 --> 00:10:16,392
MR. HOBBS, YOU'VE INSPIRED ME.

276
00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:19,062
I'VE JUST DECIDED
TO INSTITUTE

277
00:10:19,229 --> 00:10:21,497
A PARENT/STUDENT
DETENTION SESSION

278
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:23,533
ON SATURDAYS.
- OH.

279
00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,001
ONE THAT WILL HOLD PARENTS
EQUALLY ACCOUNTABLE

280
00:10:25,168 --> 00:10:26,569
FOR THEIR CHILDREN'S BEHAVIOR.

281
00:10:26,737 --> 00:10:29,172
OOH. YEAH.

282
00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:32,342
YOU KNOW, THE WIFE LOVES
HER SATURDAYS.

283
00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:33,910
BUT IF YOU THINK
IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO,

284
00:10:34,077 --> 00:10:35,712
SHE'LL BE HERE.

285
00:10:35,879 --> 00:10:38,114
AND WE'RE BACK TO "WOW."

286
00:10:43,319 --> 00:10:44,955
COME ON, GUYS.

287
00:10:45,121 --> 00:10:47,257
YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE
TO DETENTION.

288
00:10:47,423 --> 00:10:50,126
I DON'T WANT TO GO
TO STUPID DETENTION.

289
00:10:50,293 --> 00:10:51,828
WELL, SWEETIE,
YOUR DAD'S GOING WITH YOU.

290
00:10:51,995 --> 00:10:54,064
YOU SHOULD FOLLOW HIS EXAMPLE.

291
00:10:54,230 --> 00:10:57,000
I DON'T WANT TO GO
TO STUPID DETENTION.

292
00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:59,035
SO WERE YOU AND MARCUS
AT LEAST ABLE TO RESCHEDULE

293
00:10:59,202 --> 00:11:00,904
THE "DADS WHO CARE" INTERVIEW?

294
00:11:01,071 --> 00:11:02,572
NO. IT'S LIVE RADIO,

295
00:11:02,773 --> 00:11:04,640
SO WE'RE LOCKED IN.
- OH.

296
00:11:04,808 --> 00:11:06,642
GONNA HAVE TO DO THE INTERVIEW
FROM STUPID DETENTION.

297
00:11:06,810 --> 00:11:08,578
I'M GOING BACK TO BED.

298
00:11:08,779 --> 00:11:13,216
I STAYED UP LATE
WATCHING {\an8}<i>TITANIC.</i>

299
00:11:13,383 --> 00:11:15,585
SPOILER ALERT:
THE SHIP SINKS.

300
00:11:22,158 --> 00:11:23,927
IT'S NOT A TOTAL LOSS.

301
00:11:24,094 --> 00:11:26,897
THE FISHERS COULDN'T OUTRUN
THE LAW EITHER.

302
00:11:27,063 --> 00:11:29,532
HEY, LACEY.
I SEE WE BOTH GOT DETENTION.

303
00:11:29,699 --> 00:11:31,634
APPARENTLY, THE PRINCIPAL
GOT AN ANONYMOUS TIP

304
00:11:31,802 --> 00:11:34,104
THAT WE WERE ON A BOAT
THE OTHER DAY.

305
00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:35,872
YEAH, WELL,
IT'S LIKE I TELL

306
00:11:36,039 --> 00:11:37,874
MY YOUNG SON, JOE,
ALL THE TIME.

307
00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:39,175
IF YOU GONNA DO THE CRIME,
YOU GOTTA DO THE TIME.

308
00:11:39,342 --> 00:11:40,476
WHAT CRIME?

309
00:11:40,643 --> 00:11:42,578
I LOST MY MOTHER RECENTLY.

310
00:11:42,813 --> 00:11:46,917
WE WERE ON THAT BOAT SCATTERING
HER ASHES INTO THE SEA.

311
00:11:49,385 --> 00:11:52,222
THEY WERE STILL ON A BOAT.

312
00:11:52,388 --> 00:11:53,957
GOOD MORNING.
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE ALL--

313
00:11:54,124 --> 00:11:55,826
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN,
IF I MAY.

314
00:11:55,926 --> 00:11:57,060
I NOTICED THAT
THERE WASN'T ANY COFFEE

315
00:11:57,227 --> 00:11:58,294
TO GO WITH THOSE DOUGHNUTS

316
00:11:58,461 --> 00:12:00,330
SO I'D LIKE TO TREAT.

317
00:12:00,496 --> 00:12:02,365
I KNOW MRS. FISHER COULD USE
A LITTLE PICK-ME-UP.

318
00:12:02,365 --> 00:12:04,367
SO IF YOU'LL JUST LET ME
CALL MY ASSISTANT--

319
00:12:04,534 --> 00:12:06,903
THERE WILL BE NO CELL PHONES, EVERYONE.

320
00:12:07,070 --> 00:12:09,239
ADD THEIRS TO THE BOX.

321
00:12:09,405 --> 00:12:10,740
THANK YOU.

322
00:12:10,907 --> 00:12:13,109
THANK YOU.

323
00:12:13,276 --> 00:12:17,013
THEY'LL BE IN MY OFFICE
AT THE END OF THE DAY.

324
00:12:17,180 --> 00:12:19,582
NICELY PLAYED. VERY NICE.

325
00:12:19,749 --> 00:12:20,951
VERY NICE. I GET IT.

326
00:12:21,117 --> 00:12:22,853
OKAY, LISTEN. HERE'S THE THING.

327
00:12:22,953 --> 00:12:24,587
WHEN YOU'RE DONE
WITH YOUR LITTLE SHOW,

328
00:12:24,754 --> 00:12:25,688
I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT
LIVE INTERVIEW

329
00:12:25,856 --> 00:12:27,557
I HAVE TO DO,

330
00:12:27,723 --> 00:12:29,425
SO IF YOU WOULD SLIP ME BACK
THAT PHONE

331
00:12:29,592 --> 00:12:31,527
WITHOUT ANYBODY SEEING,
THAT'D BE GREAT.

332
00:12:31,694 --> 00:12:32,662
MR. HOBBS SEEMS TO THINK
THIS IS ALL FUN AND GAMES.

333
00:12:32,863 --> 00:12:33,930
WELL, IT'S NOT.

334
00:12:34,097 --> 00:12:34,998
IS THAT CLEAR?

335
00:12:35,165 --> 00:12:37,433
YES, SIR.

336
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,635
- STOP THAT.
- ABSOLUTELY.

337
00:12:39,870 --> 00:12:41,371
I'M NOT KIDDING.
DO YOU AND YOUR SON

338
00:12:41,537 --> 00:12:42,438
WANT TO BE HERE
AGAIN NEXT WEEK?

339
00:12:42,605 --> 00:12:43,639
OH, NO, SIR.

340
00:12:43,874 --> 00:12:44,941
THAT'S ANOTHER WEEK.

341
00:12:45,108 --> 00:12:46,877
OH, I'M IN BIG TROUBLE.

342
00:12:46,977 --> 00:12:48,979
- AND ANOTHER.
- DAD, YOU'RE KILLING ME.

343
00:12:49,145 --> 00:12:50,046
WAIT A MINUTE, HE'S SERIOUS?

344
00:12:50,213 --> 00:12:51,781
AND ANOTHER!

345
00:12:51,948 --> 00:12:53,950
[groans]
THIS STUPID DETENTION!

346
00:12:58,588 --> 00:13:00,356
THIS STAKEOUT'S
THE ONLY WAY

347
00:13:00,523 --> 00:13:02,893
WE'RE GONNA SNIFF OUT
THE POOP-A-TRAITOR.

348
00:13:03,059 --> 00:13:05,261
WHAT IF THEY'RE ALREADY GONE
AND ON THE RUNS?

349
00:13:05,428 --> 00:13:07,730
[laughs]

350
00:13:07,898 --> 00:13:09,900
OKAY, THE FACT THAT WE'RE
OUT HERE IS BAD ENOUGH,

351
00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:11,902
BUT DO WE REALLY HAVE
TO KEEP MAKING POOP PUNS?

352
00:13:12,002 --> 00:13:13,469
YES, WE DO-DO.

353
00:13:15,638 --> 00:13:17,407
ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE.

354
00:13:17,573 --> 00:13:19,242
I HAVE TO MAKE
A FEW BUSINESS CALLS.

355
00:13:19,409 --> 00:13:21,444
BUT I'LL BE RIGHT OUT
IN THE HALLWAY.

356
00:13:21,611 --> 00:13:23,313
SO IF ANY OF YOU WERE
THINKING ABOUT JUMPING SHIP,

357
00:13:23,479 --> 00:13:25,181
MRS. FISHER...

358
00:13:25,348 --> 00:13:26,582
[sobs]

359
00:13:26,749 --> 00:13:27,783
DON'T.

360
00:13:41,932 --> 00:13:43,633
DAD?

361
00:13:43,799 --> 00:13:45,435
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

362
00:13:45,601 --> 00:13:47,938
IT'S BETTER
YOU DON'T KNOW, JOE.

363
00:13:48,104 --> 00:13:50,173
BUT I DO LIKE PEOPLE KNOWING
WHERE I AM AT ALL TIMES

364
00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:53,576
SO THEY DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.

365
00:13:53,743 --> 00:13:55,378
I'M GONNA GO GET MY PHONE,

366
00:13:55,545 --> 00:13:57,413
I'M GONNA DO THE INTERVIEW,
OKAY?

367
00:13:57,580 --> 00:13:59,649
FORGET ABOUT ME.
GO BACK WITH THE OTHER STUDENTS.

368
00:13:59,815 --> 00:14:01,684
OKAY.

369
00:14:01,851 --> 00:14:04,620
I DON'T WANT YOU HERE.
GO ON, NOW GET. GO.

370
00:14:04,787 --> 00:14:07,090
- FINE.
- THIS AIN'T NO LIFE FOR YOU.

371
00:14:07,257 --> 00:14:09,092
NO ARGUMENT HERE.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

372
00:14:09,259 --> 00:14:11,794
ARE YOU REALLY NOT GONNA
HELP ME? I'M YOUR DAD.

373
00:14:11,962 --> 00:14:14,264
FINE. I CAN'T GET IN
ANY MORE TROUBLE, SO...

374
00:14:14,430 --> 00:14:16,032
BEFORE YOU MAKE THAT CALL,

375
00:14:16,199 --> 00:14:17,767
WE'RE ABOUT TO CRAWL
INTO A VENT.

376
00:14:17,968 --> 00:14:19,602
SO LET'S SEE
HOW IT PLAYS OUT.

377
00:14:23,739 --> 00:14:24,975
FANTASIA,

378
00:14:25,108 --> 00:14:26,842
WOULD YOU HURRY UP, FANTASIA?

379
00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:29,045
THE CRAZY POOP LADY IS
ON TO US.

380
00:14:29,212 --> 00:14:31,881
LOOK, SHE'S EVEN GOT FLYERS
OUT IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

381
00:14:32,048 --> 00:14:33,984
MM, MM, MM, MM.

382
00:14:34,150 --> 00:14:36,652
DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHY LOOK.
DO YOUR BUSINESS.

383
00:14:36,819 --> 00:14:38,989
I DO IT IN FRONT OF YOU.
- OKAY, YOU GUYS.

384
00:14:39,155 --> 00:14:41,324
LUNCH BREAK IS OVER.
LET'S GET BACK INTO POSITION.

385
00:14:41,491 --> 00:14:43,126
THEY'RE COMING.
COME ON.

386
00:14:43,293 --> 00:14:44,894
LET'S GO, GIRL. COME ON.
LET'S GO.

387
00:14:48,864 --> 00:14:50,900
THIS IS WORSE THAN
WHEN WE HAD TO WAIT FOR JOE

388
00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:53,103
AFTER HE SWALLOWED THE QUARTER
FROM HIS 50-STATE COLLECTION.

389
00:14:53,269 --> 00:14:55,605
YEAH, THE WEIRD THING WAS
THAT HE SWALLOWED A COLORADO,

390
00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:59,475
BUT POOPED OUT A HAWAII.

391
00:14:59,642 --> 00:15:03,846
ONLY MAGIC TRICK
HE EVER PULLED OFF.

392
00:15:04,014 --> 00:15:05,081
GREAT.

393
00:15:05,248 --> 00:15:07,117
NOW WE'RE STUCK HERE.

394
00:15:07,283 --> 00:15:09,552
HOW COME I COULDN'T FALL
IN LOVE WITH A MANLY DOG

395
00:15:09,719 --> 00:15:12,222
THAT I WASN'T AFRAID
TO BE SEEN WITH?

396
00:15:12,388 --> 00:15:12,855
[babbles]

397
00:15:16,826 --> 00:15:17,893
HOW YOU DOING BACK THERE, DAD?

398
00:15:18,061 --> 00:15:20,030
YEAH, I'M GOOD.

399
00:15:20,163 --> 00:15:21,931
I'M NO STRANGER TO CLIMBING
THROUGH VENTS.

400
00:15:22,098 --> 00:15:23,399
SEASON TWO WE DID
AN EPISODE CALLED

401
00:15:23,566 --> 00:15:26,269
{\an8}<i>SEE DAD VENT HIS FRUSTRATION.</i>

402
00:15:26,436 --> 00:15:29,205
- OH, I LOVE THAT ONE.
- YEAH.

403
00:15:29,372 --> 00:15:31,574
AMERICA LOVES CLIMBING
THROUGH VENTS.

404
00:15:31,741 --> 00:15:33,509
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHERE YOU'RE GOING?

405
00:15:33,676 --> 00:15:35,511
OKAY.

406
00:15:35,678 --> 00:15:38,948
WE'RE RIGHT ABOVE
THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE.

407
00:15:39,115 --> 00:15:40,183
OKAY.

408
00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:41,384
LET'S PUSH THIS DOWN.

409
00:15:41,551 --> 00:15:42,252
[clanging]

410
00:15:43,786 --> 00:15:44,687
ALMOST THERE.

411
00:15:44,854 --> 00:15:46,322
OOH!

412
00:15:50,493 --> 00:15:52,295
IT'S OKAY, DAD.
THE FLOOR BROKE MY FALL.

413
00:15:52,462 --> 00:15:55,898
OH, GOOD.
NOW GO GRAB THE PHONE.

414
00:15:56,066 --> 00:15:57,800
I GOT IT.

415
00:15:57,967 --> 00:15:59,802
DEAR, I PROMISE
I'LL BE HOME BY 4:00.

416
00:15:59,969 --> 00:16:03,339
YES, I'M HAVING THE YOGURT
THAT YOU PACKED ME.

417
00:16:03,506 --> 00:16:05,075
IT'S TEMPLEMAN!

418
00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:07,543
- OH!
- SAVE YOURSELF.

419
00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:10,080
AND DO THE INTERVIEW, DAD.
DO IT FOR AMERICA.

420
00:16:10,213 --> 00:16:12,248
NO, MARGARET.

421
00:16:12,415 --> 00:16:15,185
I DID NOT STOP FOR DOUGHNUTS,
AND I RESENT THE ACCUSATION.

422
00:16:15,351 --> 00:16:16,486
WELL, APOLOGY ACCEPTED.

423
00:16:16,652 --> 00:16:20,090
YES, I LOVE YOU TOO.

424
00:16:20,223 --> 00:16:21,724
AH, SATURDAYS.

425
00:16:21,891 --> 00:16:25,295
IT'S BEAR CLAW TIME.

426
00:16:25,461 --> 00:16:27,363
MARGARET SAID
I SHOULDN'T EAT YOU.

427
00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:33,002
[growling]

428
00:16:34,970 --> 00:16:37,207
[cell phone rings]

429
00:16:37,373 --> 00:16:40,710
HELLO?
THIS IS HE.

430
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:43,413
WELL, YEAH.
I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU

431
00:16:43,579 --> 00:16:46,982
THAT I'M HONORED
TO HAVE BEEN CHOSEN.

432
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:48,551
AM I WHISPERING?

433
00:16:48,718 --> 00:16:50,986
I DON'T THINK SO.

434
00:16:51,154 --> 00:16:53,956
MARCUS, ARE YOU THERE?
MAYBE THEY CAN HEAR YOU BETTER.

435
00:16:54,124 --> 00:16:55,024
YES, I'M HERE.

436
00:16:55,191 --> 00:16:56,359
WHAT?

437
00:16:56,526 --> 00:17:01,431
NO, I'M NOT WHISPERING EITHER.

438
00:17:01,597 --> 00:17:04,234
WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO SAY IS
WE ARE NOT WHISPERING.

439
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,836
AND WE BOTH CARE.

440
00:17:07,002 --> 00:17:09,239
YES, AND WE BOTH WANT
TO BE GOOD ROLE MODELS

441
00:17:09,405 --> 00:17:11,141
AND SET A GOOD EXAMPLE
FOR OUR CHILDREN.

442
00:17:11,307 --> 00:17:12,375
EXACTLY.

443
00:17:12,542 --> 00:17:14,244
BEING STAND-UP CITIZENS

444
00:17:14,410 --> 00:17:15,678
AND WALKING PROUDLY
IN THE COMMUNITY.

445
00:17:25,488 --> 00:17:27,523
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN.

446
00:17:27,690 --> 00:17:30,260
JOE, HOW LONG
HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?

447
00:17:30,426 --> 00:17:34,630
SINCE THE BEAR CLAW FIGHT.

448
00:17:34,797 --> 00:17:37,833
YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF,
YOUNG MAN?

449
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,370
I WANTED TO GET
MY DAD'S PHONE BACK

450
00:17:40,536 --> 00:17:42,572
SO HE COULD DO HIS INTERVIEW.

451
00:17:42,738 --> 00:17:44,840
YOU SEE, HE'S A ROLE MODEL
FOR SO MANY PEOPLE.

452
00:17:45,007 --> 00:17:46,609
I JUST DIDN'T WANT HIM
TO LET THEM DOWN.

453
00:17:46,776 --> 00:17:49,279
SO I CRAWLED THROUGH THE VENT

454
00:17:49,445 --> 00:17:51,414
AND I WAS GONNA GIVE HIM
HIS PHONE BACK.

455
00:17:51,581 --> 00:17:53,483
THE WHOLE THING WAS MY IDEA.

456
00:17:53,649 --> 00:17:54,917
WELL, JOE, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE A ROLE MODEL

457
00:17:55,084 --> 00:17:56,319
FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE AS WELL.

458
00:17:56,486 --> 00:17:58,854
I GUESS I WAS WRONG.

459
00:17:59,021 --> 00:18:00,323
YOU WERE WRONG.

460
00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:02,725
ABOUT BEING WRONG.

461
00:18:02,892 --> 00:18:04,627
JOE IS A ROLE MODEL.

462
00:18:04,794 --> 00:18:06,729
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?

463
00:18:06,896 --> 00:18:09,365
SINCE THE BEAR CLAW FIGHT.

464
00:18:09,532 --> 00:18:12,268
WE BOTH SAW IT.

465
00:18:12,435 --> 00:18:14,370
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN,

466
00:18:14,537 --> 00:18:18,107
JOE IS NOT THE GUILTY ONE.
AND NEITHER IS THE SCHOOL.

467
00:18:18,274 --> 00:18:21,444
AND NEITHER ARE YOU.
I AM.

468
00:18:21,611 --> 00:18:23,679
AND IF JOE WAS FEELING
ANY PRESSURE AT ALL,

469
00:18:23,846 --> 00:18:27,683
HE'S FEELING WAY MORE NOW
BECAUSE OF ME.

470
00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:32,087
AND HERE HE IS STILL TRYING
TO TAKE THE FALL FOR ME.

471
00:18:32,255 --> 00:18:34,023
WELL, I'M NOT GONNA LET
THAT HAPPEN THIS TIME.

472
00:18:34,224 --> 00:18:35,658
I'M GONNA TAKE THE FALL FOR HIM.

473
00:18:40,863 --> 00:18:44,934
A LITTLE ON THE NOSE, BUT OKAY.

474
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,802
YES,
THAT'S THE TYPE OF FATHER

475
00:18:46,969 --> 00:18:48,271
WE USED TO DEPICT ON THE SHOW.

476
00:18:48,438 --> 00:18:51,073
SOMEONE--UGH.

477
00:18:51,241 --> 00:18:54,677
WHO WOULDN'T HIDE
FROM RESPONSIBILITY.

478
00:18:54,844 --> 00:18:56,812
TAZEY, COME BACK HERE.

479
00:18:56,979 --> 00:18:57,813
YOU KNOW WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE HIDING.

480
00:18:57,980 --> 00:18:58,814
TAZEY.

481
00:18:58,981 --> 00:19:01,251
[gasps]

482
00:19:01,417 --> 00:19:03,986
SOMEBODY'S DOG, LOOK LIKE
A SKUNK DOG RAN THROUGH THERE.

483
00:19:04,153 --> 00:19:05,421
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET
A PICTURE OF IT.

484
00:19:05,588 --> 00:19:07,823
MARCUS?

485
00:19:07,990 --> 00:19:10,360
LOOK, I GOTTA GO.
IT'S BEEN HONOR. BYE.

486
00:19:10,526 --> 00:19:13,128
WHEN DID YOU GET A DOG?

487
00:19:13,296 --> 00:19:15,631
OH, LOOK AT HER.

488
00:19:15,798 --> 00:19:18,268
IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS.

489
00:19:18,368 --> 00:19:21,337
LOOK, MY CIGAR SHOP IS
RIGHT NEXT TO A DOG RESCUE.

490
00:19:21,504 --> 00:19:23,706
SO I WAS UP TO SIX CIGARS A DAY

491
00:19:23,873 --> 00:19:25,808
JUST SO I COULD SEE HER
IN THE WINDOW.

492
00:19:25,975 --> 00:19:29,111
FINALLY, I HAD TO TAKE
MY LITTLE TAZEY HOME.

493
00:19:29,279 --> 00:19:31,414
THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK UP
AFTER TAZEY?

494
00:19:31,581 --> 00:19:33,316
[sighs]
I JUST COULDN'T DO IT.

495
00:19:33,483 --> 00:19:35,818
I FELT LIKE EVERY TIME
I THREW HER POOP AWAY,

496
00:19:35,985 --> 00:19:41,156
I WAS THROWING A PIECE
OF HER AWAY.

497
00:19:41,324 --> 00:19:43,426
LOOK AT THIS FACE.
DO YOU BLAME ME?

498
00:19:43,593 --> 00:19:46,362
[gasps] WHO'S A LITTLE
SCHMOOTZIE WOOTZIE BEAR?

499
00:19:46,529 --> 00:19:48,431
WHO'S GOT
THE CUTEST LITTLE FACE?

500
00:19:48,598 --> 00:19:49,765
[laughs]
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US

501
00:19:49,932 --> 00:19:51,367
YOU GOT A DOGGY-WOGGY?

502
00:19:51,534 --> 00:19:53,068
THAT'S WHY.

503
00:19:53,303 --> 00:19:55,070
DID HE SCARE YOU?
IT'S OKAY.

504
00:19:55,305 --> 00:19:56,339
LET'S GO HOME AND CUDDLE
AND WATCH BASKETBALL.

505
00:20:02,745 --> 00:20:04,547
"DEAR KEVIN,

506
00:20:04,714 --> 00:20:06,416
"WE ACCEPT THE FACT THAT
YOU GET A LITTLE UPSET

507
00:20:06,582 --> 00:20:08,451
"WHEN WE LEAVE
FOR THE BEACH WITHOUT YOU.

508
00:20:08,618 --> 00:20:10,720
BUT YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT
THIS FAMILY FOR WHO WE ARE."

509
00:20:10,886 --> 00:20:12,355
{\an8}<i>[Don't You (Forget About Me)</i>
by Simple Minds]

510
00:20:12,522 --> 00:20:14,790
"A CRAZY POOP LADY."

511
00:20:14,957 --> 00:20:17,960
"THE EMBARRASSED DAUGHTER
OF A CRAZY POOP LADY."

512
00:20:18,127 --> 00:20:20,763
"A RULE BREAKER."

513
00:20:20,930 --> 00:20:23,633
"AN ATTENDANCE JUNKIE."

514
00:20:23,799 --> 00:20:25,935
"A LITTLE DOGGY LOVER."

515
00:20:26,101 --> 00:20:28,771
"AND AMERICA'S
NUMBER ONE DAD.

516
00:20:28,938 --> 00:20:30,640
"BUT ONE THING
WE KNOW FOR SURE--

517
00:20:30,806 --> 00:20:32,508
"WE'RE BETTER
WHEN WE'RE ALL TOGETHER.

518
00:20:32,675 --> 00:20:34,310
"WHICH INCLUDES YOU, KEVIN.

519
00:20:34,477 --> 00:20:36,078
"SO NO, WE DIDN'T FORGET
ABOUT YOU.

520
00:20:36,245 --> 00:20:37,112
NOW HURRY UP,
WE'RE IN THE CAR."

521
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:38,914
YES!

522
00:20:39,081 --> 00:20:40,316
♪

523
00:20:40,483 --> 00:20:40,950
* DON'T YOU