1
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:11,663
ALL RIGHT,
LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST,
2
00:00:11,793 --> 00:00:14,492
LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR
OUR VERY OWN SPOKEN WORD BEAST,
3
00:00:14,622 --> 00:00:16,450
JOE HOBBS.
4
00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:19,105
[applause]
5
00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:21,281
MR. MUMBRUE
CALLS ME UP.
6
00:00:21,412 --> 00:00:23,805
HE SAYS, "EXPRESS YOURSELF,
IF YOU PLEASE."
7
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:27,461
SO I TAKE MY TIME
TO FIND A RHYME
8
00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:29,768
FOR A YUMMY HUNK
OF CHEESE.
9
00:00:29,898 --> 00:00:31,552
ANYBODY GOT SOME CHEESE?
10
00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:33,076
[laughter]
11
00:00:33,206 --> 00:00:34,599
WELL, THAT IS
VERY GOUDA, JOE,
12
00:00:34,729 --> 00:00:38,559
BUT I THINK
YOU CAN DO CHEDDAR.
13
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:39,952
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GET SERIOUS.
14
00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:41,432
JOE, REMEMBER
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT?
15
00:00:41,562 --> 00:00:44,261
WITH SPOKEN WORD POETRY,
YOU NEED A PERSONAL CONNECTION
16
00:00:44,391 --> 00:00:46,306
TO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
17
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:48,613
TALK ABOUT SOMETHING
YOU'RE PASSIONATE ABOUT.
18
00:00:48,743 --> 00:00:50,702
SOMETHING
THAT EMBARRASSED YOU.
19
00:00:50,832 --> 00:00:52,704
MAYBE SOMETHING
YOU REGRET?
20
00:00:52,834 --> 00:00:56,838
WELL, LAST WEEK, I HID
SOMETHING FROM MY LITTLE SISTER.
21
00:00:56,969 --> 00:01:00,538
OKAY, AND THAT'S
SOMETHING YOU REGRET.
22
00:01:00,668 --> 00:01:03,715
WELL, I REGRET
SHE HASN'T FOUND IT YET.
23
00:01:03,845 --> 00:01:06,805
GOOD, HOW DOES IT FEEL
TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD?
24
00:01:06,935 --> 00:01:08,981
WELL, I CAN TELL YOU
THIS MUCH.
25
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:11,157
IT DOESN'T MAKE ME PROUD,
26
00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:13,681
AND I'M ASHAMED
IN FRONT OF THIS CROWD.
27
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:16,554
IT'S NOT EASY
TO SAY HOW I FEEL,
28
00:01:16,684 --> 00:01:20,035
BUT IF I'M GONNA STEP UP,
I'VE GOTTA BE REAL.
29
00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:23,082
[applause]
30
00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:24,997
GREAT.
YOU, SIR, ARE A NATURAL,
31
00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:27,260
WHICH IS WHY YOU WILL
BE REPRESENTING THIS CLASS
32
00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:29,132
AT THE SPOKEN WORD NIGHT.
33
00:01:29,262 --> 00:01:30,655
ME?
THANKS, MR. MUMBRUE.
34
00:01:30,785 --> 00:01:31,699
[applause]
35
00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,746
[bell rings]
36
00:01:36,182 --> 00:01:38,750
WOW, JOE.
YOU'RE REALLY DEEP.
37
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,708
- YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- I REALLY DO.
38
00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:41,796
YOU REALLY DO?
39
00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:43,624
SHE REALLY DOES.
40
00:01:43,755 --> 00:01:44,930
DAD.
41
00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:45,931
SEE YOU, JOE.
42
00:01:46,061 --> 00:01:47,759
OKAY, SEE YOU, VIOLET...
43
00:01:47,889 --> 00:01:49,239
WHICH RHYMES WITH PILOT,
44
00:01:49,369 --> 00:01:50,675
NOT THAT I'VE EVER TRIED
TO RHYME YOUR NAME,
45
00:01:50,805 --> 00:01:52,242
BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE CREEPY.
46
00:01:52,372 --> 00:01:53,939
REMEMBER.
47
00:01:54,069 --> 00:01:57,856
I'M DEEP-Y.
48
00:01:57,986 --> 00:02:00,467
JUST WALK IT OFF, BUDDY.
49
00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:01,729
HEY, MR. MUMBRUE.
50
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:03,644
DAVID HOBBS.
- PLEASE, CALL ME MAURY.
51
00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:05,472
I'M A BIG FAN, MR. HOBBS.
52
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:06,734
WHY, THANK YOU.
I APPRECIATE IT.
53
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,301
I'M A FAN
OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE.
54
00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:10,390
IT'S REALLY GREAT, AND--
AND HE'S REALLY INTO IT.
55
00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:13,828
WELL, JOE MAKES TEACHING
A PLEASURE, MR. HOBBS.
56
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,787
SO, MAURY, IF THERE'S ANYTHING
I COULD EVER DO TO RECIPROCATE,
57
00:02:15,917 --> 00:02:18,268
PLEASE DON'T HESITATE.
58
00:02:18,398 --> 00:02:19,921
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
59
00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:22,663
BECAUSE I WROTE
A SCREENPLAY,
60
00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:25,188
AND I WOULD LOVE TO GET
A PROFESSIONAL OPINION.
61
00:02:25,318 --> 00:02:26,798
WOULD YOU MIND?
62
00:02:26,928 --> 00:02:27,799
WOULD I MIND?
63
00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:29,104
NO.
NOT AT ALL.
64
00:02:29,235 --> 00:02:30,541
IS IT ANY GOOD?
65
00:02:30,671 --> 00:02:32,717
NO, NOT AT ALL.
66
00:02:32,847 --> 00:02:35,720
[upbeat music]
67
00:02:35,850 --> 00:02:43,858
♪
68
00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:58,569
[groans]
69
00:02:58,699 --> 00:03:01,311
OH. OH!
70
00:03:01,441 --> 00:03:02,790
- DAVID, PLEASE STOP THAT.
- OH, WHAT?
71
00:03:02,921 --> 00:03:04,966
THE WORDS ARE LITERALLY
HURTING MY FEELINGS, HONEY.
72
00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:06,707
I MEAN, THIS IS--
73
00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:08,709
THIS IS
THE WORST SCRIPT EVER.
74
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:09,884
WHAT'S THE GENRE?
75
00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:12,539
- BOREDOM.
- MM.
76
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,106
- YOU READY FOR IT?
- MM-HMM. MM-HMM.
77
00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:16,717
{\an8}THE TEACHER TRIP.
78
00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:19,024
IT'S AN ACTIONLESS,
ADVENTURE-FREE STORY
79
00:03:19,154 --> 00:03:21,940
ABOUT A GROUP OF ENGLISH
TEACHERS WHO TAKE A ROAD TRIP
80
00:03:22,070 --> 00:03:25,900
AND TALK NONSTOP ABOUT SOME GUY
NAMED LEO TOLSTOY.
81
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:27,902
OOH, YIKES.
82
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:31,036
IS THERE AT LEAST
SOME ROMANCE OR A CAR CHASE?
83
00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:32,429
WELL, THERE IS
A TOPLESS SCENE,
84
00:03:32,559 --> 00:03:34,953
BUT SPOILER ALERT,
IT'S LEO TOLSTOY.
85
00:03:35,083 --> 00:03:36,171
DAVID, WHAT ARE
YOU GONNA TELL HIM?
86
00:03:36,302 --> 00:03:37,521
I MEAN...
- [sighs]
87
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:38,652
YOU HAVE TO HANDLE THIS
THE RIGHT WAY,
88
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:40,698
OTHERWISE,
YOU'RE JUST GONNA RUIN
89
00:03:40,828 --> 00:03:43,222
JOE'S RELATIONSHIP
WITH HIS FAVORITE TEACHER.
90
00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:44,702
- HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
- HMM.
91
00:03:44,832 --> 00:03:46,051
I WAS JUST TRYING
TO DO SOMETHING NICE.
92
00:03:46,181 --> 00:03:48,532
OH, HONEY, WHY START NOW?
93
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,577
YOU'VE BEEN SO SUCCESSFUL
WITHOUT RESORTING TO THAT.
94
00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:51,752
- I KNOW.
- YEP.
95
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,972
- WHAT WAS I THINKING?
- MM.
96
00:03:54,102 --> 00:03:54,973
WELL, AS SOON
AS I FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO
97
00:03:55,103 --> 00:03:56,496
WITH THIS WHOLE
MUMBRUE SITUATION,
98
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:58,498
I'M NEVER DOING
A NICE THING AGAIN.
99
00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:01,501
AH, THERE'S THE MAN
I FELL IN LOVE WITH.
100
00:04:05,766 --> 00:04:08,073
EMILY, WILL YOU PLEASE
READ ME THIS BOOK?
101
00:04:08,203 --> 00:04:09,422
OH, NOT NOW.
102
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:12,120
BUT ALL I CAN READ
IS THE PICTURES.
103
00:04:12,251 --> 00:04:15,254
O.M.G., OLIVIA
JUST SENT ME THE FUNNIEST TEXT.
104
00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:17,865
WILL YOU
AT LEAST READ ME THAT?
105
00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:19,911
HEY, MARCUS, I ASKED YOU
TO HELP ME WITH THE GROCERIES,
106
00:04:20,041 --> 00:04:21,652
NOT HELP YOURSELF
TO THE GROCERIES.
107
00:04:21,782 --> 00:04:23,915
MAN, YOU KNOW I CAN'T RESIST
THE RIGHT PINK LADY.
108
00:04:24,045 --> 00:04:25,046
MAN.
- UH-HUH.
109
00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:27,658
SPEAKING OF PINK LADIES...
110
00:04:27,788 --> 00:04:31,488
LADIES, THERE ARE MORE BAGS
IN THE CAR.
111
00:04:31,618 --> 00:04:33,359
THANK YOU.
112
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,274
WHEN MOM STAYED HOME,
SHE DID ALL THAT STUFF HERSELF.
113
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:36,536
YES, AND THAT'S WHY
SHE WANTED
114
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:39,365
TO GO BACK TO WORK
VERY BADLY.
115
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:40,932
HEY, HONEY, WILL YOU CLEAN
YOUR ROOM FOR ME, PLEASE?
116
00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:44,414
- ANYTHING FOR YOU, DADDY.
- THANK YOU.
117
00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:48,548
SHE'S SO SWEET,
YOU KNOW.
118
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,420
I SHOULD GET HER TO DETAIL
MY CAR, YOU KNOW?
119
00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:51,812
THOSE LITTLE HANDS OF HERS,
SHE CAN GET BETWEEN THE SEATS
120
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,858
AND GET ALL THOSE FRENCH FRIES
THAT I DROP.
121
00:04:53,988 --> 00:04:55,642
[chuckles]
122
00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:56,991
HEY, DAVID,
CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
123
00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:58,602
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
124
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,691
WELL, AS YOU KNOW,
I KINDA WANNA BE A WRITER.
125
00:05:00,821 --> 00:05:03,084
AND I HEARD THAT YOU AGREED TO
READ JOE'S TEACHER'S SCREENPLAY,
126
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:04,085
SO I W--
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
127
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,522
YOU DID WHAT, DAVID?
128
00:05:05,652 --> 00:05:08,742
OH, YOU KNOW NOTHING GOOD
EVER COMES
129
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:10,875
FROM READING
SOMEBODY'S SCREENPLAY.
130
00:05:11,005 --> 00:05:12,355
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW
IT WAS GONNA BE TERRIBLE?
131
00:05:12,485 --> 00:05:14,618
OH, THEY ALL
ARE TERRIBLE!
132
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:15,619
BELIEVE ME,
THE NEXT TIME
133
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,098
ANYBODY ASKS ME
TO READ ANYTHING--
134
00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:18,839
A SCRIPT, I DON'T CARE--
I'M GONNA THROW IT
135
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,711
RIGHT BACK IN THEIR FACE.
136
00:05:20,841 --> 00:05:22,365
LOOK, DAVID.
137
00:05:22,495 --> 00:05:24,628
DAVID, YOU GOTTA
BOB AND WEAVE, MAN.
138
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,325
SOMEONE ASKS ME,
I ALWAYS TELL 'EM,
139
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:27,892
"YOU GOT
THE WRONG MARCUS BARNES."
140
00:05:28,022 --> 00:05:29,197
BOB.
141
00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:30,590
"I AM DR. MARCUS BARNES."
142
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:33,114
WEAVE.
143
00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:35,334
- WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR?
- PROCTOLOGIST.
144
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:36,422
REALLY?
145
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:37,728
WHY NOT A NEUROLOGIST?
- NO, NO, NO.
146
00:05:37,858 --> 00:05:39,425
I DON'T WANNA
IMPRESS THE PEOPLE.
147
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:40,818
YOU SAY NEUROLOGIST--
"OH, WHAT TYPE OF SCHOO--"
148
00:05:40,948 --> 00:05:43,298
NO, I WANNA STOP
THE CONVERSATION RIGHT THERE.
149
00:05:43,429 --> 00:05:46,780
NOBODY WANNA TALK
ABOUT THEIR BUTT PROBLEMS.
150
00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:48,129
THE BEST THING
FOR ME TO DO
151
00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:49,914
IS JUST TELL THE GUY
HIS SCRIPT IS HORRIBLE
152
00:05:50,044 --> 00:05:52,090
AND CRUSH HIS DREAMS
BEFORE HE THINKS HE HAS ANY SHOT
153
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:53,613
OF MAKING IT
IN SHOW BUSINESS.
154
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,441
YOU GONNA TELL HIM
THE TRUTH, HUH?
155
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:56,573
OF COURSE NOT.
156
00:05:56,703 --> 00:05:58,444
I'M JUST GONNA AVOID
THE GUY--BOB--
157
00:05:58,575 --> 00:05:59,750
UNTIL JOE GRADUATES.
158
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,447
WEAVE.
- WHOO!
159
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:02,709
I WAS LIKE JOE FRAZIER,
WASN'T I?
160
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,058
YEAH, THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.
[both laugh]
161
00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:06,931
HEY, DAD, I SAW YOU READING
MR. MUMBRUE'S SCRIPT.
162
00:06:07,061 --> 00:06:09,194
DID YOU LIKE IT? WAS IT GREAT?
DID YOU CALL HIM?
163
00:06:09,324 --> 00:06:11,152
SO MANY QUESTIONS.
164
00:06:11,283 --> 00:06:14,373
I'MA TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY
TO BOB AND LEAVE.
165
00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:16,593
[mumbles with mouth full]
- ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
166
00:06:16,723 --> 00:06:20,161
HEY, HOW'S YOUR, UM,
HOW'S YOUR PIECE
167
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:21,946
FOR MUMBRUE'S CLASS COMING?
168
00:06:22,076 --> 00:06:23,338
NOT GREAT.
169
00:06:23,469 --> 00:06:25,993
KINDA HAVING A HARD TIME
COMING UP WITH DEEP FEELINGS.
170
00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:27,865
MOSTLY I JUST WANT THE GIRLS
TO THINK I'M AWESOME,
171
00:06:27,995 --> 00:06:29,519
BUT THAT'S NOT DEEP
AT ALL.
172
00:06:29,649 --> 00:06:31,216
IT'S NOT?
173
00:06:31,346 --> 00:06:33,087
HUH.
174
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:35,525
AND AWESOME
IS REALLY HARD TO RHYME.
175
00:06:35,655 --> 00:06:37,004
WHAT--WELL, NOT REALLY.
HANG ON, JOE.
176
00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:38,484
UM, LET'S SEE.
177
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:41,748
I'LL HAVE A--
I'LL HAVE A BUCKET OF JOE
178
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:46,231
WITH A SIDE
OF COLESLAW-SOME.
179
00:06:46,361 --> 00:06:48,625
YEAH, I THINK I'M GONNA ASK
MR. MUMBRUE FOR SOME HELP.
180
00:06:48,755 --> 00:06:49,930
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
181
00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:51,628
COME ON, IT'S COLESLAW,
AND IT'S AWESOME.
182
00:06:51,758 --> 00:06:54,500
IT'S COLESLAW-SOME.
YOU'LL BE BACK.
183
00:06:56,676 --> 00:06:59,287
JOE, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU
AT SPOKEN WORD NIGHT.
184
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:00,680
YOU'RE GONNA BE--
- TIGHT?
185
00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:01,986
OUTTA SIGHT?
186
00:07:02,116 --> 00:07:03,204
DYNAMITE?
187
00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:05,816
I WAS GONNA SAY AWESOME.
188
00:07:05,946 --> 00:07:07,687
RIGHT.
189
00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:11,125
AWESOME LIKE...
COLESLAW-SOME?
190
00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:16,000
I NEED YOUR HELP
WITH MY SPOKEN WORD.
191
00:07:16,130 --> 00:07:18,089
YEAH.
I HEARD.
192
00:07:18,219 --> 00:07:19,569
AFTER SCHOOL.
193
00:07:19,699 --> 00:07:22,615
MR. MUMBRUE, PLEASE REPORT
TO THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE.
194
00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:24,748
YOU LEFT YOUR UNWASHED MUG
IN THE SINK.
195
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,184
UH, THANKS.
196
00:07:26,314 --> 00:07:28,534
EXCUSE ME, CLASS,
BUT I DO NOT NEED ANOTHER ONE
197
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:31,363
OF PRINCIPAL GILMORE'S
MUG DEMERITS.
198
00:07:35,541 --> 00:07:37,500
DAD, WAS THAT YOU
ON THE P.A. SYSTEM?
199
00:07:37,630 --> 00:07:39,110
CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW, JOE.
YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH.
200
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,939
FALSE ALARM, MY MUG WAS
IN THE DRYING RACK, SO--
201
00:07:42,069 --> 00:07:44,115
OH, HI!
- OH.
202
00:07:44,245 --> 00:07:45,725
MR. HOBBS,
WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?
203
00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:49,250
WELL, UH, I WAS, UM--
JOE FORGOT HIS LUNCH.
204
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:50,251
IT WAS GOOD SEEING YOU.
- OH.
205
00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:52,210
I WAS HOPING
YOU HAD COME BY
206
00:07:52,340 --> 00:07:53,472
TO TALK ABOUT MY SCRIPT.
207
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:55,039
YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN
TO READ IT YET, DID YA?
208
00:07:55,169 --> 00:07:56,954
WELL, SEE,
HERE'S THE THING.
209
00:07:57,084 --> 00:08:01,175
IT--WRITING IS A--
IT'S VERY, VERY DIFFICULT.
210
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:02,350
OH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.
211
00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:06,616
I PUT SIX YEARS OF MY LIFE
INTO THIS.
212
00:08:06,746 --> 00:08:10,097
I JUST HOPE
IT WAS WORTH IT.
213
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:13,100
WELL, IT WAS.
IT WAS--IT WAS GREAT.
214
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:14,885
YOU SHOULD BE
VERY PROUD OF YOURSELF.
215
00:08:15,015 --> 00:08:16,364
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
216
00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:17,365
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
217
00:08:17,496 --> 00:08:19,150
OKAY, OKAY,
SO YOU LIKED IT
218
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,282
WHEN THE ENGLISH TEACHERS' VAN
BROKE DOWN,
219
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:24,068
AND THEY TAUGHT THAT...
[chokes up]
220
00:08:24,198 --> 00:08:28,028
THAT SOCIALLY AWKWARD MECHANIC
HOW TO COMPARE LITERATURE?
221
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:31,815
OH, YEAH.
I WAS RIVETED.
222
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:35,253
THANK YOU.
THAT IS ALL I NEEDED TO HEAR.
223
00:08:35,383 --> 00:08:39,126
MOM, DAVID HOBBS
224
00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:40,388
LIKED MY SCRIPT!
225
00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:41,738
YOU'RE TEXTING
YOUR MOTHER?
226
00:08:41,868 --> 00:08:43,217
OH, WELL, YEAH,
THIS IS BIG NEWS FOR ME.
227
00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:44,654
PLUS, MY MOM
IS A HUGE FAN.
228
00:08:44,784 --> 00:08:46,786
SHE SAYS YOU
JUST GET CUTER EVERY DAY.
229
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,179
OH, WELL,
HANG ON A SECOND THEN.
230
00:08:48,309 --> 00:08:49,267
WHY DON'T YOU TEXT
YOUR MOTHER,
231
00:08:49,397 --> 00:08:51,095
"MOM, DAVID HOBBS
LOVED MY SCRIPT?"
232
00:08:51,225 --> 00:08:52,836
ALL RIGHT.
233
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,708
LET'S SEND A PICTURE
TO YOUR MOM, THERE WE GO.
234
00:09:00,147 --> 00:09:01,409
JANIE, I CAN'T FIND MY PHONE.
DID YOU SEE IT?
235
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:02,846
ME?
236
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,325
NO.
237
00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:06,153
BUT I'LL HELP YOU LOOK.
238
00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:07,851
THANK YOU.
239
00:09:12,812 --> 00:09:13,770
THIS IS FUN,
240
00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:16,686
JUST YOU AND ME
LOOKING FOR STUFF.
241
00:09:16,816 --> 00:09:20,124
ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS IT'S
OUT THERE ALONE, WITHOUT ME,
242
00:09:20,254 --> 00:09:22,474
ITS BATTERY
SLOWLY DRAINING.
243
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,824
[stuffed animal buzzing]
244
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:27,610
HMM, HMM.
245
00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:31,788
IF I WERE A PHONE,
WHERE WOULD I BE?
246
00:09:38,533 --> 00:09:41,449
YEAH, I HANDLED THE MUMBRUE
SITUATION LIKE A PRO, HONEY.
247
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:44,148
HE'S HAPPY, I'M HAPPY,
248
00:09:44,278 --> 00:09:45,758
AND JOE'S RELATIONSHIP
249
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:47,586
WITH HIS FAVORITE TEACHER
HAS NEVER BEEN STRONGER.
250
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:50,154
[door closes]
- MR. MUMBRUE QUIT.
251
00:09:50,284 --> 00:09:53,461
[piano notes]
252
00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:55,289
WAIT, JOE,
WHY DID HE QUIT?
253
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:57,074
I DON'T KNOW.
254
00:09:57,204 --> 00:10:00,338
WHEN CLASS WAS OVER, HE TOLD US
TO NEVER GIVE UP ON OUR DREAMS,
255
00:10:00,468 --> 00:10:04,081
THREW BACK HIS SCARF,
AND WALKED OUT.
256
00:10:04,211 --> 00:10:05,996
WHY WOULD
HE JUST LEAVE LIKE THAT?
257
00:10:06,126 --> 00:10:09,739
WELL, JOE, TO BE HONEST...
258
00:10:09,869 --> 00:10:13,351
WHO KNOWS
WHY A MAN DOES ANYTHING?
259
00:10:13,481 --> 00:10:16,571
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THE SCARF
WAS FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT.
260
00:10:16,702 --> 00:10:19,400
IT'S OLD-SCHOOL,
BUT IT WORKS.
261
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:27,582
DAVID,
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
262
00:10:27,713 --> 00:10:30,107
WELL, I DON'T THINK JOE HAS
PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER YET,
263
00:10:30,237 --> 00:10:32,196
SO LET'S--LET'S JUST KEEP IT
BETWEEN OURSELVES, OKAY?
264
00:10:32,326 --> 00:10:33,414
- MM-HMM.
- DAD.
265
00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:37,244
I WAS JUST PUTTING
TWO AND TWO TOGETHER.
266
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:38,985
DOES MR. MUMBRUE LEAVING
HAVE ANYTHING TO DO
267
00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:40,813
WITH YOU
LIKING HIS SCRIPT?
268
00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:43,120
JOE, I TOLD THE GUY
THAT I LIKED HIS SCRIPT.
269
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:44,295
I DIDN'T TELL HIM
TO QUIT HIS JOB.
270
00:10:44,425 --> 00:10:46,079
HE'S MAKING
A HUGE MISTAKE.
271
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,646
AW, MAN.
272
00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:48,691
HOW AM I
SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT
273
00:10:48,821 --> 00:10:50,910
MY WHOLE CLASS
WITHOUT MR. MUMBRUE?
274
00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:52,956
JOE, YOU GOT ME, PAL.
275
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,609
YOU GOT ME.
I CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR...
276
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:56,742
NIGHT WORD SPEAKY THING.
277
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:59,223
ONE WORD, DAD:
COLESLAW-SOME.
278
00:10:59,353 --> 00:11:00,703
COME ON, JOE.
279
00:11:00,833 --> 00:11:02,095
GIVE YOUR DAD A CHANCE.
280
00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:03,488
HE CAN BE
PRETTY INSPIRING.
281
00:11:03,618 --> 00:11:04,968
COME ON.
282
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,578
WHAT, UH, WHAT ARE
YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW?
283
00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:07,840
I DON'T KNOW.
284
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:09,146
THAT'S CONFUSION.
285
00:11:09,276 --> 00:11:11,322
YOU'RE CONFUSED.
286
00:11:11,452 --> 00:11:14,586
WHAT RHYMES WITH CONFUSED?
- AMUSED?
287
00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:15,805
YEAH, OKAY.
WE'RE IN A GROOVE NOW.
288
00:11:15,935 --> 00:11:16,501
YOU SEE
WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE, HONEY?
289
00:11:16,631 --> 00:11:17,589
ABSOLUTELY, SWEETIE,
290
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,330
BUT I'M WILLING TO GO
WITH IT.
291
00:11:19,460 --> 00:11:21,724
OKAY, SO THERE'S,
UH, LET'S SEE.
292
00:11:21,854 --> 00:11:23,900
THERE'S A--THERE WAS
A CONFUSED BOY NAMED JOE
293
00:11:24,030 --> 00:11:25,945
WHOSE--WHOSE WRITING
WAS SLOW.
294
00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:28,948
HE--HE LIKED
TO COLLECT ROCKS
295
00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,559
THAT HE KEPT
IN A BOX.
296
00:11:32,865 --> 00:11:34,780
NOW THAT'S GOT A RING.
297
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:37,348
DAD'S TAKING YOU
UNDER HIS WING.
298
00:11:37,478 --> 00:11:38,784
AND NOW YOU HAVE
WHAT YOU NEED
299
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:41,091
FOR YOUR NIGHT WORD
SPEAKY THING.
300
00:11:41,221 --> 00:11:43,006
HONEY, IT'S--
IT'S SPOKEN WORD NIGHT,
301
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,748
NOT A NIGHT
WITH DR. SEUSS.
302
00:11:45,878 --> 00:11:47,880
DAD, I APPRECIATE
WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO,
303
00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:50,709
BUT YOU JUST DON'T INSPIRE ME
THE WAY MR. MUMBRUE DOES.
304
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:56,759
LOOKING FOR YOUR PHONE
IS FUN, HUH?
305
00:11:56,889 --> 00:11:58,673
IT'S LIKE
AN EASTER EGG HUNT.
306
00:11:58,804 --> 00:12:00,240
I'M NEVER GONNA FIND IT.
307
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:01,372
I'VE GOTTA CALL OLIVIA
308
00:12:01,502 --> 00:12:03,113
AND TELL HER
TO CALL THE HOUSE PHONE.
309
00:12:03,243 --> 00:12:04,549
WAIT A MINUTE.
310
00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:07,247
WITHOUT MY CELL,
I DON'T KNOW OLIVIA'S NUMBER.
311
00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:10,163
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
OUR HOME PHONE NUMBER.
312
00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:13,558
I AM COMPLETELY CUT OFF
FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD!
313
00:12:13,688 --> 00:12:16,909
WE COULD READ A BOOK
IN MY FORT.
314
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,520
[sighs]
WHY NOT?
315
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:23,611
I'LL GO GET ONE.
316
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:26,223
[stuffed animal buzzing]
317
00:12:26,353 --> 00:12:28,355
MY PHONE!
318
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:30,967
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
319
00:12:31,097 --> 00:12:33,926
I'M TALKING INTO
THE BUSINESS END OF A MONKEY.
320
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,537
PLEASE CALL BACK
ON THE HOME PHONE.
321
00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:38,452
I DON'T KNOW
THE NUMBER.
322
00:12:42,848 --> 00:12:44,589
OH, HEY, MAURY,
THANKS FOR COMING BY.
323
00:12:44,719 --> 00:12:46,156
YOU'RE THANKING ME?
324
00:12:46,286 --> 00:12:48,811
YOU SET UP THIS MEETING WITH A
HIGH-POWERED HOLLYWOOD PRODUCER.
325
00:12:48,941 --> 00:12:51,248
MY MOM IS SO EXCITED.
326
00:12:51,378 --> 00:12:53,250
WELL, I'M--I'M--
I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT.
327
00:12:53,380 --> 00:12:55,469
NOW, AS I TOLD YOU, MAURY,
I LIKE YOUR SCRIPT,
328
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:56,731
BUT I'M JUST A TV GUY.
329
00:12:56,862 --> 00:12:58,516
WHAT YOU REALLY NEED
IS THE OPINION
330
00:12:58,646 --> 00:13:00,910
OF--OF A MOVIE GUY, RIGHT?
331
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,042
BEFORE YOU COMPLETELY CHANGE
YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AROUND,
332
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:06,132
WHICH IS WHY I INVITED
STERLING SILVER OVER HERE.
333
00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:08,918
SILVER KNOWS GOLD
BETTER THAN ANYBODY,
334
00:13:09,048 --> 00:13:11,834
BUT HE'S ALSO A VERY,
VERY TOUGH CRITIC.
335
00:13:11,964 --> 00:13:14,010
CLOONEY.
336
00:13:14,140 --> 00:13:17,100
CL--CLOONEY,
YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN.
337
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,623
OKAY, I'LL GIVE YOU
5% OF THE PROFIT.
338
00:13:18,753 --> 00:13:20,233
NOTHING MORE.
339
00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:22,061
OKAY. [speaks foreign language]
WE HAVE A DEAL.
340
00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:24,890
HEY, STAY HANDSOME, HUH?
341
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:26,892
YOU THE WRITER?
342
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,154
I CAN TELL BY THE HAT.
343
00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:29,808
THE ONLY THING
YOU'RE MISSING IS A LAPTOP
344
00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:31,375
AND A TABLE
AT STARBUCKETS.
345
00:13:31,505 --> 00:13:33,899
BOOM!
346
00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,119
UH, MAURY MUMBRUE.
347
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:37,729
MR. SILVER, WERE YOU JUST
TALKING TO GEORGE CLOONEY?
348
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,035
[laughs]
349
00:13:39,165 --> 00:13:40,993
A WISE MAN ONCE TOLD ME,
350
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,256
"NEVER BRAG
ABOUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE."
351
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,215
THAT MAN WAS TOM CRUISE.
352
00:13:45,345 --> 00:13:48,087
[cell phone rings]
353
00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:50,785
UGH, CHANNING TATUM'S
CALLING ME AGAIN.
354
00:13:50,916 --> 00:13:52,265
SHE IS RELENTLESS.
355
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:54,311
IGNORE.
356
00:13:54,441 --> 00:13:58,315
SO, STERLING, WHAT DID YOU
THINK OF MR. MUMBRUE'S SCRIPT?
357
00:13:58,445 --> 00:14:00,447
HEY, ANYBODY HOME, DAVID?
358
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:02,493
DR. BARNES, HI.
359
00:14:02,623 --> 00:14:05,017
I-I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
AND DAVID ARE FRIENDS.
360
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:07,541
OH, WELL, WE WERE
DOCTOR-PATIENT AT FIRST,
361
00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:09,979
AND THEN WE HAD A LITTLE
MEET-CUTE OVER HIS PROSTATE,
362
00:14:10,109 --> 00:14:12,285
AND...
[sighs] NOW WE'RE FRIENDS.
363
00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:14,070
YES, UH-HUH.
364
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,028
I'M JUST HERE
TO MAKE A HOUSE CALL.
365
00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:18,248
HEY, HOW'S EVERYTHING?
366
00:14:18,378 --> 00:14:19,858
- EVERYTHING'S GREAT.
- GREAT, GREAT, GREAT.
367
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,555
LET ME HEAR YOU SAY "AHH."
- AHH.
368
00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:24,254
I THOUGHT
YOU WERE A PROCTOLOGIST.
369
00:14:24,384 --> 00:14:26,734
YES, BEND OVER
AND SAY, "AHH."
370
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:29,041
HEY, I'M JUST GONNA STAND HERE
AND SAY, "UH-UH."
371
00:14:29,172 --> 00:14:33,916
SO, STERLING, WHAT DID--WHAT DID
YOU THINK OF THE SCRIPT?
372
00:14:34,046 --> 00:14:35,613
I'M GOING TO BE BLUNT
WITH YOU, KID.
373
00:14:35,743 --> 00:14:38,181
IT'S THE WORST SCRIPT
I EVER READ.
374
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,530
OH, WOW.
375
00:14:39,660 --> 00:14:41,619
YEAH.
THAT'S GOTTA HURT.
376
00:14:41,749 --> 00:14:43,751
WELL, AT LEAST YOU HAVE
TEACHING TO FALL BACK ON.
377
00:14:43,882 --> 00:14:45,666
OKAY, IT'S GOOD
SEEING YOU, MAURY.
378
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:47,146
I'M JUST--I'M JU--
I'M SO CONFUSED
379
00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:49,627
BECAUSE MR. HOBBS HERE
SAID HE LIKED IT.
380
00:14:49,757 --> 00:14:52,238
UH, MR. HOBBS
DID NOT TELL ME THAT.
381
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:54,371
YES, WELL, WHAT I--WHAT I--
I DID SAY THAT I LIKED IT.
382
00:14:54,501 --> 00:14:56,503
OH, THEN I LIKE IT TOO.
383
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,679
WELL, BUT I TOLD MAURY HERE
THAT WHAT HE REALLY NEEDED
384
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:01,334
WAS YOUR PROFESSIONAL OPINION.
- NOPE.
385
00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:02,727
IF YOU LIKE IT,
I LIKE IT.
386
00:15:02,857 --> 00:15:05,208
BUT I DON'T THINK
YOU REALLY DO LIKE IT.
387
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:06,600
OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
388
00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:08,428
UH, I DON'T LIKE IT.
389
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:09,995
I LOVE IT!
390
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,258
IN FACT,
I'M GOING TO BUY IT!
391
00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:13,607
[gasps]
392
00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:16,436
WELL, JUST TAKE IT
EASY THERE, MR. SILVER, I--
393
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:19,004
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
394
00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:20,179
I'M HAVING
HEART PALPITATIONS.
395
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:21,180
DR. BARNES.
396
00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:23,226
UM, UM, YEAH. YEAH.
397
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,750
I--UM--BEND--
BEND OVER.
398
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,056
I GOT YOU.
399
00:15:27,186 --> 00:15:29,493
FOR--FOR MY HEART?
400
00:15:29,623 --> 00:15:33,410
OH, I THOUGHT YOU SAID
FART PALPITATIONS. OH.
401
00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:35,499
THANK YOU, MR. SILVER.
402
00:15:35,629 --> 00:15:39,459
THANK YOU, DAVID,
FOR MAKING MY DREAMS COME TRUE.
403
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:42,332
MM-HMM.
404
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:46,814
MAURY.
405
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:48,729
I--
406
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:52,342
NOBODY--NOBODY BOUGHT
YOUR SCRIPT, MAURY.
407
00:15:52,472 --> 00:15:53,908
THAT'S NOT STERLING SILVER.
408
00:15:54,039 --> 00:15:56,476
THAT'S--THAT'S
MY ASSISTANT, KEVIN.
409
00:15:56,607 --> 00:16:00,002
WHAT?
410
00:16:00,132 --> 00:16:01,438
MR. MUMBRUE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
411
00:16:01,568 --> 00:16:04,223
I HAVE NO IDEA.
412
00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:06,008
WELL, SEE,
I-I STAGED THIS MEETING
413
00:16:06,138 --> 00:16:07,618
BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE
THE HEART TO TELL YOU
414
00:16:07,748 --> 00:16:10,186
THAT YOUR SCRIPT IS NO GOOD.
- WHAT?
415
00:16:10,316 --> 00:16:13,102
SO THEN YOU REALLY
DON'T LIKE MY SCRIPT?
416
00:16:13,232 --> 00:16:15,191
I REALLY
DON'T LIKE YOUR SCRIPT.
417
00:16:15,321 --> 00:16:18,498
BUT YOU'RE
A FANTASTIC TEACHER, MAURY.
418
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:20,196
AND I--AND I THINK
YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO THAT.
419
00:16:20,326 --> 00:16:23,199
- SO THIS WHOLE THING WAS A CON?
- UH--
420
00:16:23,329 --> 00:16:28,508
WHICH MEANS YOU ARE
THE WRITER, MARCUS BARNES.
421
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:31,033
WILL YOU READ MY SCRIPT?
422
00:16:31,163 --> 00:16:32,425
HEY, I WOULD LOVE TO, MAN,
423
00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:34,688
BUT I SUFFER FROM S.B.S.
424
00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:37,039
SPORADIC BLINDNESS SYNDROME.
425
00:16:37,169 --> 00:16:38,997
NEVER KNOW--
THERE IT IS.
426
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:41,217
IT'S COMING O--
I SEE A SP--IT'S COMING ON.
427
00:16:41,347 --> 00:16:43,262
I'LL FIND MYSELF OUT, FELLAS.
428
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:44,350
DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT.
429
00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:45,656
WHERE WE AT?
OKAY.
430
00:16:45,786 --> 00:16:48,006
ALL RIGHT. HEY.
431
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:52,880
I'M SORRY.
432
00:16:53,011 --> 00:16:55,100
SO AM I.
433
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:57,885
SO DOES THIS MEAN YOU'LL COME
BACK AND BE MY TEACHER AGAIN?
434
00:16:58,016 --> 00:17:00,584
JOE, I LOVE
BEING YOUR TEACHER,
435
00:17:00,714 --> 00:17:03,195
BUT THIS SETBACK
HAS ONLY INSPIRED ME
436
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:05,197
TO BECOME A BETTER WRITER
437
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:08,548
AND TRY AND MAKE IT
IN HOLLYWOOD.
438
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,507
PLUS, I MAY HAVE SAID
439
00:17:10,637 --> 00:17:12,465
SOME UNSAVORY THINGS
440
00:17:12,596 --> 00:17:14,250
TO PRINCIPAL GILMORE
BEFORE I LEFT,
441
00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:17,079
SO, YOU KNOW,
I GOTTA MAKE THIS THING HAPPEN.
442
00:17:20,908 --> 00:17:22,693
THANKS A LOT, DAD.
443
00:17:22,823 --> 00:17:24,216
IF YOU'D HAVE BEEN HONEST
IN THE FIRST PLACE,
444
00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:26,697
NONE OF THIS
WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.
445
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:31,354
REALLY?
446
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:32,964
YOU OFFERED
TO BUY THE SCRIPT?
447
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:36,010
THIS IS WHY WE NEED
TO REHEARSE MORE, DAVID.
448
00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:40,145
EMILY, HAVE YOU SEEN
DR. MONKEY CHUNKS?
449
00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:41,842
I CAN'T FIND HER.
[thumping]
450
00:17:41,973 --> 00:17:43,322
THAT'S HER THUMPING AROUND
IN THE DRYER.
451
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:44,976
SHE GOT A LITTLE WET,
SO I PUT HER IN THERE.
452
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:48,675
UH, I DON'T THINK
SHE SHOULD BE IN THERE.
453
00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:49,850
WHY NOT?
454
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:52,201
- SHE GETS DIZZY.
- NO, SHE'S FINE.
455
00:17:52,331 --> 00:17:53,506
WE PUT HER IN THE DRYER
ALL THE TIME.
456
00:17:53,637 --> 00:17:55,639
TAKE HER OUT.
457
00:17:55,769 --> 00:17:58,598
I HID YOUR PHONE IN HER BELLY,
AND NOW IT'S GETTING RUINED.
458
00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:01,166
I FOUND
THE PHONE, JANIE,
459
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,908
AND THAT'S A SHOE
IN THE DRYER.
460
00:18:04,038 --> 00:18:06,040
WHY WOULD YOU
TAKE MY PHONE?
461
00:18:06,171 --> 00:18:08,347
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M SORRY.
462
00:18:10,262 --> 00:18:12,699
GUESS SHE WON'T
MESS WITH ME ANYMORE.
463
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:13,700
MAYBE SHE WASN'T
MESSING WITH YOU.
464
00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:17,443
MAYBE SHE WAS
JUST MISSING YOU.
465
00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:20,490
SEE, MY GUESS IS SHE WANTED
TO HANG OUT WITH HER BIG SISTER,
466
00:18:20,620 --> 00:18:22,840
BUT YOU WERE TOO BUSY
HANGING OUT WITH YOUR PHONE.
467
00:18:22,970 --> 00:18:24,624
BUT WHAT DO I KNOW?
468
00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:26,887
- OH.
- MM-HMM.
469
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:28,367
WELL, IF SHE JUST TEXTED ME,
470
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:31,501
WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED
THIS WHOLE THING.
471
00:18:36,201 --> 00:18:38,421
HEY, UH, JOE,
I HATE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO,
472
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,074
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE
THE KID BEFORE YOU
473
00:18:40,205 --> 00:18:42,468
JUST DID {\an8}CAT IN THE HAT.
474
00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:46,037
CAN'T GO IN THERE.
I'M NOT READY.
475
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,952
JOE, YOU CAN DO THIS.
476
00:18:48,082 --> 00:18:52,957
ALL MR. MUMBRUE DID WAS--
WAS FLIP A SWITCH
477
00:18:53,087 --> 00:18:56,787
AND--AND INSPIRE
WHAT'S ALREADY WITHIN YOU.
478
00:18:56,917 --> 00:18:58,441
YOU DON'T NEED HIM.
479
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,486
OR ME.
480
00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:02,923
SO JUST
COME ON, MAN.
481
00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:07,276
JUST GO IN THERE, AND JUST SAY
WHAT YOU'RE TRULY FEELING.
482
00:19:07,406 --> 00:19:08,668
REALLY?
483
00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:09,930
YES.
ABSOLUTELY.
484
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:11,541
DAD.
485
00:19:11,671 --> 00:19:13,020
DECEPTION.
486
00:19:13,151 --> 00:19:15,980
THEY BOTH START WITH "D."
487
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:17,721
BUT THIS ISN'T
ABOUT LETTERS.
488
00:19:17,851 --> 00:19:18,983
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.
489
00:19:19,113 --> 00:19:22,726
HE'S SO DEEP-Y.
490
00:19:22,856 --> 00:19:26,338
I HAD A TEACHER WHO TAUGHT ME
MORE THAN ANYONE HAD,
491
00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:30,168
BUT NOW HE'S GONE
BECAUSE OF MY DAD.
492
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:33,389
THE MAN TOLD ME TO TALK
ABOUT HOW I WAS FEELING,
493
00:19:33,519 --> 00:19:36,522
SO I'M USING NIGHT WORD
SPEAKY THING TO BE REVEALING.
494
00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:39,177
I'M ANGRY, FRUSTRATED,
495
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:41,005
BUT I'M FEELING LIBERATED,
496
00:19:41,135 --> 00:19:44,443
BECAUSE THERE'S ONE THING
THAT I HAD TO LEARN.
497
00:19:44,574 --> 00:19:46,924
I'VE GOT MAD SKILLS, SON,
WITH WORDS TO BURN.
498
00:19:47,054 --> 00:19:49,056
COLESLAW-SOME OUT!
499
00:19:49,187 --> 00:19:51,494
[cheers and applause]
500
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,017
YEAH!
501
00:19:53,147 --> 00:19:54,453
WHOO!
502
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:57,543
COLESLAW-SOME.
503
00:19:57,674 --> 00:19:59,284
I'M NOT PAYING
FOR THE MIC.
504
00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:04,507
GOOD NIGHT, EMILY.
505
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,552
GOING TO BED?
506
00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:07,988
I WAS KINDA HOPING
I COULD READ YOU A STORY.
507
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:08,989
REALLY?
508
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:11,383
[pats couch]
SURE.
509
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:19,173
"THE MOTHER SWAN WANTED
HER BABIES TO SWIM."
510
00:20:19,304 --> 00:20:21,611
[phone vibrating]
"THE BABIES WERE NERVOUS."
511
00:20:21,741 --> 00:20:23,830
- AREN'T YOU GONNA ANSWER THAT?
- NOPE.
512
00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:25,484
BUT IT'S YOUR PHONE.
513
00:20:25,615 --> 00:20:29,314
I'M TOO BUSY.
514
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:30,968
THEN KEEP READING.
515
00:20:31,098 --> 00:20:34,537
I WANNA HEAR WHAT HAPPENS
TO THE BABY SWANS.
516
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:37,017
"THEY WOULD CLIMB ON HER BACK,
AND SHE'D GET INTO THE WATER
517
00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:38,541
"AND SHAKE THEM OFF.
518
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,020
"THEY WOULD CLIMB
BACK ON HER BACK,
519
00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:42,109
AND SHE'D
SHAKE THEM OFF AGAIN."