YOU SURE WE'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING HERE?
MM-HMM. I KNOW IT'S SCARY, BUT STAY STRONG.
TRUST ME, EVERYTHING'S GONNA TURN OUT GREAT.
WELL, I'M GOING AWAY FOREVER.
WHAT'S IN THE BAG, SWEETIE?
EVERYTHING I NEED FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE...
MOSTLY LIP GLOSS AND A PILLOW.
SWEETHEART, YOU--YOU SURE YOU WANT TO GO?
CAN I EAT COOKIES BEFORE DINNER?
MAYBE YOU COULD HAVE A HALF--NO.
CAN I STAY UP PAST 8:00?
WELL, MAYBE EIGHT O'--NO.
CAN I EAT MY LIP GLOSS?
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD EAT LIP GLOSS,
BUT I'M GUESSING, "NO."
THEN WE'RE DONE HERE.
DID YOU NOT SEE ME RUNNING AFTER THE CAR, YELLING,
"PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME"?
JOE, WE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT THIS.
IT'S NOT COOL TO PICK UP MY LITTLE BROTHER
IN FRONT OF SCHOOL.
I HAVE A REP TO KEEP UP.
YOUR REP?
I JUST RAN SCREAMING,
"PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME," AFTER A CAR
WITH A LICENSE PLATE THAT READS "SUPER QT."
I CANNOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT'S ON DAD'S LICENSE PLATE.
OKAY, THIS IS ME LEAVING.
OKAY, WE UNDERSTAND. RIGHT, DAVID?
YEAH, HANG ON. [grunts]
LISTEN, SWEETHEART, WE LOVE YOU,
BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA STAY IN THIS HOUSE,
YOU HAVE TO LIVE BY YOUR MOTHER'S RULES.
YOU HAVE TO LIVE BY OUR RULES.
YOU KNOW I'M SIX, RIGHT?
HEY, IS SHE GONNA BE OKAY?
SHE'S GOING OVER TO MARCUS AND ALICIA'S HOUSE.
SWEETIE, HONEY, THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME SHE'S DONE THIS.
OH, WAIT, WAIT.
SHE'S STOPPING, AND SHE'S SITTING DOWN, HONEY.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. - AND NOW SHE'S TURNING BACK.
NO, SHE'S POPPING OPEN A LIP GLOSS
AND CHOWING DOWN ON IT.
OH, NOPE. NOPE, SHE'S UP AND GOING AGAIN.
[upbeat music]
♪
I MISS HER ALREADY, AMY.
LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE COLORS LATELY.
SHE STAYS IN THE LINES.
SHE'S GOT LITTLE HEARTS AROUND MY NAME.
AH, I'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR THAT.
[laughing]
THANKS. YEAH.
DAVID, SHE'S GONNA BE FINE.
AMY, THIS GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING I BELIEVE IN.
WHAT'S MY NUMBER-ONE PRIORITY?
- NEVER SEND A BAD SELFIE? - NO.
NO, MY OTHER NUMBER-ONE PRIORITY.
KEEP THE KIDS SAFE. - THE KIDS SAFE.
WELL, FOLLOWING RULES IS WHAT KEEPS KIDS SAFE.
AS SOON AS SHE REALIZES IT, SHE'LL COME BACK.
[knock at door]
OH. HEY.
HEY, YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD RAN AWAY TO OUR HOUSE?
- YEAH. - MM-HMM.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING HER IN, ALICIA.
IT'S ALL GOOD. HOW DO YOU WANT US TO HANDLE IT?
SHE READY TO COME BACK YET?
EXCUSE ME, NEW, BETTER FAMILY...
WHEN WE GET BACK,
LET'S HAVE A CARTOONS COOKIE PARTY.
DOESN'T SEEM READY.
- SHE'S REALLY PLAYING HARDBALL. - OKAY, YEAH, YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS REMINDS ME OF, MARCUS?
REMEMBER THE NETWORK FORCED US
TO PUT A MONKEY IN AS A NEW CHARACTER?
REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
YEP, MR. BOBO GOT NOMINATED FOR AN EMMY.
RIGHT. WE ARE NOT GONNA CAVE IN THIS TIME.
WE'RE GONNA GET TOUGH.
SHE WANTS TO PLAY HARDBALL, WE'RE GONNA PLAY HARDER-BALL.
WE'RE GONNA GET TOUGH. WE'RE GONNA BE COLD AND HEARTLESS.
WE'RE GONNA DO THIS THE AMY WAY.
THAT'S MY WAY?
IT'S NAMED AFTER YOU. IT MUST BE.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY WATCHING HER?
OKAY? LOOK, I MISS HAVING A LITTLE ONE AROUND.
IT'S LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE, RIGHT, MARCUS?
HEY, YOU KNOW IT!
AND, YOU KNOW, WITH MARY AWAY AT SCHOOL,
YOU KNOW, MARCUS AND I WERE ACTUALLY THINKING
ABOUT HAVING ANOTHER BABY.
RIGHT, MARCUS? - [laughs]
YOU KNOW IT! WHOO!
AND MARCUS AGREES, YOU KNOW, IT'LL BE GOOD PRACTICE FOR US.
SO, COME ON, BABY. - HEY.
- WE'RE SO EXCITED. - WHOO! YOU KNOW IT.
[sighs] I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BE SO TOUGH,
BUT IT'S HARD TO HAVE JANIE AWAY.
YEAH, I MISS HER TOO.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
- HUH? - WE'RE FREE.
HERE'S TO A NIGHT WITHOUT OUR KIDS.
MM. IT DOES SOUND LIKE HEAVEN.
- HEY. - WE'RE HERE.
YOU--YOU KNOW, LISTEN, LET'S MAKE THE BEST OF THIS, OKAY?
JANIE'S NOT HERE. WE CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
ANYTHING.
OH, I GOT A NEW BIG BUDDY AT SCHOOL TODAY.
DAVID, THAT'S THE PROGRAM
WHERE THE SENIORS SHOW YOU THE ROPES IN, UH, HIGH SCHOOL.
CARSON AND I HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER EVERY DAY
FOR THE NEXT WEEK. - OH.
CARSON CASTLE? THE CARSON CASTLE?
YEAH. WE'VE HAD A LOT OF COOL TALKS,
AND I'VE REALLY GOTTEN TO KNOW HIM.
WELL, TELL ME ABOUT HIM.
I MEAN, LIKE, WHAT THINGS DOES HE LIKE?
UM, OH, WELL, HE'S CRAZY ABOUT TRIPLE BLACKTOWER BURGERS.
I AM TOO. I REMEMBER ONE TIME AT BLACKTOWER, FITZY AND I--
UH-HUH. LET'S BRING IT BACK TO CARSON.
MAYBE I WAS WRONG.
DAVID, I REALLY DIDN'T THINK SHE'D BE GONE THIS LONG.
OH, YOU'RE RIGHT, HONEY. I THINK WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IS,
WHEN SHE REALIZES WHAT SHE'S MISSING,
SHE'LL COME FLYING BACK HERE.
THAT DOES MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.
GOOD. OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS?
- OH, AND SO DOES THAT. - THERE YOU GO.
SO YOU DON'T MISS YOUR KID? - OH, WHAT KIDS?
- WE'RE STILL HERE. - NOT COOL.
ALL RIGHT.
THAT WAS WILD LAST NIGHT.
MM. I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME.
- WE JUST FELL ASLEEP AT 8:00. - MM-HMM.
ONE NIGHT WITHOUT JANIE DOES YOU GOOD.
OH, REALLY GOOD. I DIDN'T EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT HER.
[laughs] [telephone rings]
JANIE, HONEY, YOU OKAY?
SHE'S GREAT, AMY.
SLEPT LIKE A BABY.
MARCUS CARRIED HER TO HER ROOM.
OH, IS HE OKAY?
YEAH, SHE CAN BE A BIT OF A KICKER
WHEN YOU PICK HER UP IN HER SLEEP.
NO, HE LOVED IT.
JANIE HAS BEEN SO MUCH FUN FOR ME AND MARCUS.
THANKS FOR LENDING HER TO US.
OH, BABY, PUT A SMILEY FACE ON THE PANCAKE FOR ME.
YOUR MOMMY'S ON THE PHONE.
THAT'S INTERESTING.
WELL, SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK RIGHT NOW.
- UH, BYE. - BYE-BYE.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
SHE'S SHOWING NO SIGNS OF WEAKNESS.
I WILL BREAK HER.
HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT?
TO BREAK A LITTLE GIRL,
YOU GOT TO THINK LIKE A LITTLE GIRL.
HOT! HOT! HOT!
OOH.
THEY HAVE BOTH ASSEMBLIES AND LARGE MEETINGS IN THERE.
THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT A "MULTI"-PURPOSE ROOM.
WOW. YOU KNOW SO MUCH.
IT'S LIKE YOU'RE A SEARCH ENGINE IN A HOODIE.
HEY, GUYS.
[exhaling sharply]
EMILY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
NOTHING. I JUST, UH, WANTED TO SEE WHAT MY LITTLE BROTHER
WAS UP TO.
I'M JOE'S BIG SISTER, EMILY.
JOE DIDN'T MENTION HE HAD A SISTER.
WELL, UH, HE'S A LITTLE GOOFY SECRET-KEEPER,
THAT'S WHAT HE IS. - OW.
WHO'S IN THE MOOD FOR BLACKTOWER BURGERS?
BLACKTOWER BURGERS?
I LOVE THEM, BUT ISN'T IT A LITTLE OUT OF THE WAY?
NO, I JUST SKIPPED SCIENCE CLASS, DROVE DOWNTOWN,
RAN OUT OF GAS, HAD A BRISK WALK THROUGH LITTLE ARMENIA,
AND, BOOM, THERE I WAS.
[doorbell ringing, knock at door]
YOU LOOK STUNNING.
MAN, YOU HAVE TO GET JANIE OUT MY HOUSE.
YES, YES, I PROMISE YOU.
IF ALICIA GOES ALONG WITH THE PLAN,
JANIE WILL BE BACK IN HER ROOM TONIGHT,
YOU CAN GO BACK TO YOUR LITTLE LONELY MAN CAVE ALL BY YOURSELF
AND JUST WATCH YOUR LIFE SLIP BY, MARCUS.
MAN, THAT'S ALL I ASK.
NO OFFENSE, BUT I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH PLAYING DRESS-UP
AND SINGING LITTLE ANNOYING SONGS AND...
RELIVING MY CHILDHOOD
THROUGH JANIE'S WONDERFUL LITTLE EYES.
HELLO, FATHER.
HELLO, DAUGHTER. WHAT BRINGS YOU BY?
AUNT ALICIA SAID I'M OUT OF CLOTHES,
SO I JUST HAVE TO GO TO MY ROOM TO GET SOME NEW ONES.
WELL, HANG ON THERE, UH, PRINCESS.
I THINK THAT MIGHT BE A PROBLEM.
YOU SEE, IT'S NOT YOUR ROOM ANYMORE.
OH, HEY.
YOU GAVE MY ROOM AWAY?
YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT IT.
[telephone rings] - OOH.
HELLO?
NO, JANIE DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE, CHARLOTTE.
BUT, UH, YEAH, I THINK I COULD DO SOME DOLLS LATER,
BUT I GOT SOME EASY-BAKE TO DO WITH SALLY TOO,
SO, UH, MY SCHEDULE'S JUST KIND OF CRAMMED UP RIGHT NOW.
YEAH.
OKAY, LET ME JUST CALL YOU BACK. OKAY.
THIS SEEMS WRONG.
[sighs] IN SO MANY WAYS.
WELL, YOU COULD MAKE IT RIGHT.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LIVE BY THE HOUSE RULES.
OTHERWISE, THIS "JANIE'S ROOM" SIGN IS COMING DOWN.
I'M NOT COMING BACK.
I CAN'T-- I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
I THOUGHT FOR SURE YOU PRETENDING TO LIVE HERE
WOULD GET HER BACK.
"PRETENDING"?
I-I-I PROMISE YOU, JANIE WILL BE HOME TODAY.
EVERYTHING I DO, YOUR DAUGHTER BOOPS ME WITH A STAR, MAN--
EVERYTHING.
I'M BOOPED TO DEATH. BOOP, BOOP, BOOP, BOOP, BOOP.
I'M BOOPED, DAVID, SO VERY, VERY BOOPED.
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO TO GET HER BACK HERE.
LOOK, YOU TRIED SCARING HER.
WHY DON'T YOU LURE HER WITH PRIZES,
LIKE I USED TO DO WITH YOU ON THE SET?
- YOU DID THAT, REALLY? - YES.
REMEMBER THAT FAKE AWARD I GAVE YOU
WHEN YOU WOULDN'T COME OUT OF YOUR DRESSING ROOM
WHEN MR. BOBO GOT NOMINATED?
THAT AWARD WAS FAKE?
YEAH, THAT WAS A TABLE LAMP FROM YOUR OFFICE.
YOU DIDN'T GET SUSPICIOUS WHEN YOU GOT AN AWARD
THAT YOU NEVER HEARD OF?
OR WHEN YOUR OFFICE WAS REALLY DARK?
BUT THE LAMPY SEEMED SO PRESTIGIOUS.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU DESERVE THIS.
BOOP!
HEY, JOE. [chuckles]
WANT A RIDE TO SCHOOL?
YOU MEAN INSIDE THE CAR?
WHAT'S THE CATCH?
YOU'RE MY BRO. I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER--
YOUR LIKES AND YOUR DISLIKES,
YOUR FRIENDS-- FITZY, ELLIOT, AND CARSON.
LET'S START WITH CARSON.
CARSON?
SURE, LET'S TALK ABOUT CARSON.
UM, WELL, I GUESS THE MAIN THING IS, IS HE LOVES PUDDING.
- PUDDING? - CHOCOLATE PUDDING.
OH, AND MAGIC WORLD AMUSEMENT PARK.
YOU KNOW, I SHOULDN'T BE TELLING YOU THIS STUFF.
IT'S NOT RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT SOMEONE WHO'S INTO SOMEONE,
RIGHT TO THE PERSON HE'S INTO.
WAIT. HE'S WHAT?
OH, I SAID TOO MUCH.
FORGET I MENTIONED THE PUDDING, MAGIC WORLD,
THE SIGNED TRADING CARDS.
- SIGNED TRADING CARDS? - AH-AH.
OKAY.
GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH, JUST LIKE YOU ASKED.
SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, BUT I HAD TO GO TO THREE STORES
BEFORE I COULD FIND THOSE STICKERS YOU LIKE SO MUCH.
THANK YOU, AUNT ALICIA.
- YEAH. - I WOULD LIKE LUNCH ALSO.
AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT INFORMATION?
IS EVERYTHING OKAY, HONEY?
THIS ISN'T THE GRILLED CHEESE DADDY MAKES--
CRUST OFF, CUT INTO TRIANGLES,
AND THEN HE DOES A FUNNY GRILLED-CHEESE DANCE.
WELL, THERE ARE SOME THINGS ONLY YOUR DADDY CAN DO.
DANCE, MARCUS.
DANCE. - OH, OH.
[humming rhythmically]
[door bell rings]
WHY DON'T YOU GET THE DOOR?
I GOT TO WORK ON MY DANCING, I GUESS.
WHY, HELLO.
IS THIS THE HOBBS' RESIDENCE?
NO, THEY LIVE ACROSS THE STREET.
I'M EVER SO SORRY.
W-W-WAIT!
WHAT'S HAPPENING AT THE HOBBS' HOUSE?
JUST A MAGICAL PRINCESS PARTY. [shimmering tone]
A PRINCESS PARTY? I'M MISSING A PRINCESS PARTY?
- OH, NO. - OKAY.
IT'S A PRINCESS PUPPY PARTY.
A PRINCESS PUPPY PARTY?
I'M MISSING A PRINCESS PUPPY PARTY?
HOW COULD I BE MISSING A PRINCESS PUPPY PARTY?
KEVIN GETS EVERYTHING!
WELL, I SHOULD GO.
THE HOBBS' HOUSE MUST BE THE MOST WONDERFUL PLACE TO LIVE
IN ALL THE LAND.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT DIDN'T WORK.
IF THIS DIDN'T GET JANIE HOME, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WILL.
OH, THIS IS THE BEST PRINCESS PUPPY PARTY EVER.
AND I'VE BEEN TO THREE. AH!
THANKS, UH-- THANKS FOR THE PUDDING.
JOE TOLD ME YOU LOVED PUDDING.
SURE. I GUESS.
SEE? HE'S CRAZY ABOUT IT.
SO, OVER THE LAST FEW DAYS,
I FEEL LIKE WE'VE REALLY CONNECTED.
WE HAVE?
UH, YEAH. [laughs]
WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON.
WE BOTH LOVE BLACKTOWER BURGERS,
RADIO-CONTROLLED COPTERS, UH, KICKBOXING.
OH, HOW I LOVE KICKBOXING.
WOW. I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED.
I AM FULL OF SURPRISES...
LIKE THESE TWO TICKETS TO MAGIC WORLD AMUSEMENT PARK
THAT I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE.
SHI-BAM!
IT WAS WAY COOLER IN MY HEAD.
OKAY. [chuckles]
UH, ANYWAY, IT'S THE PERFECT PLACE
TO TAKE THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE.
I'M SPECIAL.
NOT THAT KIND OF SPECIAL, JOE.
WELL, THERE IS A GIRL I'D LIKE TO ASK.
AND I BET SHE'D SAY YES.
MY GIRLFRIEND LOVES AMUSEMENT PARKS.
GIRL-WHAT NOW?
THANKS, EMILY. LUCY'S REALLY GONNA LOVE THESE.
HAVE FUN! [chuckles]
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU.
YOU KNEW HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND?
YOU WERE USING ME THIS WHOLE TIME.
YOU WERE COMPLETELY USING ME
TO GET TO CARSON CASTLE'S PRETTY EYES.
HOW DO YOU KNOW HE HAS PRETTY EYES?
I'M NOT DEAD INSIDE.
YOU'RE A JERK.
NO, YOU WERE. I WAS JUST A JERK BACK.
FINE. WE'LL CALL IT EVEN.
YOU KNOW, EM...
IT STINKS NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK TO YOU AT SCHOOL,
PRETENDING I DON'T KNOW YOU.
THESE LAST FEW DAYS, IT'S BEEN FUN HAVING MY SISTER BACK.
REALLY?
IS THAT WHAT THIS WAS ALL ABOUT?
WELL, ACTUALLY, NO.
IT WAS MORE ABOUT THOSE MAGIC WORLD TICKETS,
BUT, UH, HANGING OUT WITH YOU
WAS KIND OF A NICE CONSOLATION PRIZE.
[chuckles] YOU ARE SOMETHING ELSE.
RIDE HOME? - REALLY?
YOU HAVE TO WEAR A WIG, AND I GET TO CALL YOU TRISHA.
HEY, THAT'S PROGRESS.
DON'T BE SAD, DADDY.
JANIE?
WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU GREW UP.
THAT'S WHAT EVERY PARENT SAYS
WHEN THEIR CHILD LEAVES FOR COLLEGE.
COLLEGE.
NO. NO, IT'S TOO SOON, HONEY. I'M--
[sighs]
IT SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY YOU WERE...
YOU WERE IN KINDERGARTEN.
I KNOW IT'S HARD, DADDY.
BUT I'LL ALWAYS BE YOUR LITTLE GIRL.
I'M JUST HAPPY YOU WERE THERE FOR ME GROWING UP...
FOR EVERY MOMENT.
WE DIDN'T WASTE A DAY.
DAVID?
HUH?
YOU OKAY?
NO.
NO, I MISS JANIE,
AND, UM, WE'RE WASTING TIME, HONEY.
WE'RE WASTING PRECIOUS TIME.
WHAT ABOUT COMING BACK ON OUR TERMS?
WHAT ABOUT BEING GOOD PARENTS?
[sighs] COME ON, HONEY, WHO CARES?
SHE'S SIX. SHE WANTS A COOKIE.
WHO CAN BLAME HER?
AND IF THAT MAKES ME A LOUSY PARENT, THEN I'M A LOUSY PARENT.
BUT I WANT MY BABY BACK HERE, NO CONDITIONS.
WAIT. I'M A LOUSY PARENT TOO.
HELLO. WE'RE HOME.
WE DON'T GET MUCH OF A WELCOME WHEN WE COME HOME, DO WE?
HELLO. I'M HOME.
- JANIE! - MY BABY!
MAYBE IT'S US.
- CAN I HAVE MY OLD ROOM BACK? - ABSOLUTELY.
[scoffs] REALLY? JUST LIKE THAT?
NO "HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS, KEVIN?"
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN LOOKED AT THE SWATCHES I PICKED OUT.
- WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH. - WE DID.
I MISSED YOU TOO
AND NOT JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE
A DECENT GRILLED CHEESE.
I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU FOR WATCHING JANIE.
OH, NO WORRIES.
I FORGOT HOW MUCH WORK A KID IS.
OH, YEAH.
WE LOVED HAVING HER, BUT I AM EXHAUSTED.
THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME STAY OVER, AUNT ALICIA.
AND I CAN'T ASK FOR A BETTER
SECOND DADDY THAN YOU, UNCLE MARCUS.
OH, SECOND DADDY. OH.
BABY GIRL, YOU COME OVER ANYTIME YOU WANT TO, OKAY?
YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST THINKING,
IT WAS NICE TO HAVE A LITTLE ONE RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE AGAIN.
YOU KNOW, I WASN'T SURE BEFORE,
BUT NOW I KNOW THAT WE'RE BOTH READY FOR A SECOND CHILD.
AM I RIGHT, ALICIA? - YOU KNOW IT, BABY.
COME ON. - LET'S GO.
- THANKS, GUYS. - BYE.
I MISSED YOU ALL.
I MISSED THE WAY DADDY DOES HIS GRILLED-CHEESE DANCE...
AND THE WAY MOMMY TUCKS ME IN...
AW, SWEETIE.
AND THE WAY JOE GIVES ME BUTTERFLY KISSES...
AND THE WAY EMILY ROLLS HER EYES WHEN MOMMY AND DADDY SPEAK.
HOW MUCH DID YOU MISS ME?
OH, SWEETHEART, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN'T EVEN MEASURE IT.
IT'S CERTAINLY MORE THAN MOMMY DID.
HOW ABOUT WE CELEBRATE WITH SOME COOKIES?
THAT'S OKAY.
NO COOKIES BEFORE DINNER-- REMEMBER?
GOOD GIRL.
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THOSE GOT THERE.