1
00:00:07,615 --> 00:00:08,790
ALL RIGHT, TROOPS.

2
00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:10,923
I WANT YOU TO EAT UP
THESE FLAPJACKS

3
00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,794
AND SPIT SHINE THOSE PLATES.

4
00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:14,535
- EW.
- GROSS.

5
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:15,971
DAD, YOU'RE NOT GONNA TRY
AND BE A TOUGH GUY

6
00:00:16,102 --> 00:00:17,060
'CAUSE GRANDPA'S COMING, RIGHT?

7
00:00:17,190 --> 00:00:18,496
YOU'RE DARN RIGHT I AM.

8
00:00:18,626 --> 00:00:19,627
ANYBODY GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
- YEAH.

9
00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:22,674
- I DO.
- IT'S WEIRD.

10
00:00:22,804 --> 00:00:24,589
I NEVER GET TO DO
WHAT I WANT TO DO.

11
00:00:24,719 --> 00:00:26,939
WELL, I'M ON MY WAY
TO PICK UP MY FATHER

12
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:29,028
FROM THE AIRPORT.

13
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,247
HMM.

14
00:00:30,377 --> 00:00:31,726
MM.

15
00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:33,685
OH, WHAT'S THIS?

16
00:00:33,815 --> 00:00:36,992
THAT'D BE HARD-CORE
MARINE COFFEE, SOLDIER!

17
00:00:37,123 --> 00:00:39,038
I JUST GREW HAIR ON MY CHEST.

18
00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:40,779
REALLY?
GIVE ME SOME OF THAT.

19
00:00:40,909 --> 00:00:43,477
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR
VANILLA-HAZELNUT LATTE

20
00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:45,349
WITH A DOLLOP
OF CREME FRAICHE, HUH?

21
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,220
I AM NOT GONNA DRINK THAT
IN FRONT OF HIM.

22
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:48,787
REMEMBER WHAT
HE CALLED ME LAST TIME--

23
00:00:48,917 --> 00:00:50,658
A SPINELESS BAG
OF PUPPY KISSES?

24
00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:52,660
OKAY, IN HIS DEFENSE,
YOU WERE SIPPING IT

25
00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:55,228
THROUGH A CINNAMON STICK,
WEARING A SHOWER CAP,

26
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:57,404
IN A BUBBLE BATH.

27
00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:59,276
I HOPE GRANDPA
CAN STILL DO THAT TRICK

28
00:00:59,406 --> 00:01:00,929
WHERE HE WALKS ON HIS HANDS.

29
00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:03,454
I CAN WALK ON MY HANDS.

30
00:01:03,584 --> 00:01:05,934
I'M JUST NOT GONNA DO IT RIGHT
NOW 'CAUSE I HAD A MANICURE.

31
00:01:06,065 --> 00:01:09,155
EMPHASIS ON "MAN."

32
00:01:11,853 --> 00:01:12,767
YES!

33
00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:13,986
all:
GRANDPA!

34
00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:16,293
HO!
12 MILES IN RECORD TIME.

35
00:01:16,423 --> 00:01:18,512
HOORAH!

36
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:19,644
HEY, DAD.

37
00:01:19,774 --> 00:01:22,255
I WAS--I WAS ON MY WAY
TO PICK YOU UP.

38
00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:24,039
YEAH, WELL, THE FLIGHT
GOT IN EARLY,

39
00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:25,389
SO I HOOFED IT FROM THE AIRPORT

40
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,782
TILL MY HANDS GOT JEALOUS,
AND FOR THE LAST MILE,

41
00:01:27,913 --> 00:01:29,784
I DID THIS.

42
00:01:35,486 --> 00:01:39,054
[grunts]
TROOPS, ATTEN-HUT!

43
00:01:39,185 --> 00:01:41,274
YOU'RE MY GRANDKIDS.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SALUTE ME.

44
00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:44,625
OH, A HANDSHAKE
WILL DO JUST FINE.

45
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:51,023
WELCOME, MAJOR.
COFFEE?

46
00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:52,894
MM.

47
00:01:53,025 --> 00:01:56,115
WHERE'D YOU GET IT FROM--
COFFEE BEAN AND LADY TEARS?

48
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:57,986
ARE YOU HUNGRY, DADDY?

49
00:01:58,117 --> 00:02:00,032
DAVID MADE SOME MINI
QUICHE LORRAINES YESTERDAY.

50
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:02,556
YOU'RE NOT HELPING ME, HONEY.

51
00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:05,603
SO, KIDS, GRAB MY BAG.

52
00:02:05,733 --> 00:02:08,171
[grunts]

53
00:02:08,301 --> 00:02:11,304
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
AT EASE, SOLDIERS.

54
00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:13,350
WAY TO GO, MR. HOLLYWOOD.

55
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,265
LOOKS LIKE YOUR KIDS
ARE AS SOFT AS YOU ARE

56
00:02:15,395 --> 00:02:18,137
AND YOUR
COCOA-BUTTER HANDSHAKE.

57
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:21,445
KIDS, SHOW ME MY BARRACKS.

58
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,448
WELL, I BETTER GET READY
TO LEAVE, HONEY.

59
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:27,494
GOT A HUGE TAP-DANCING SCENE
AS LITTLE SALLY DESARIO.

60
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,496
LUCKY.

61
00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:33,108
I USED TO HAVE WORK AS AN EXCUSE
TO GET OUT OF FAMILY TIME.

62
00:02:33,239 --> 00:02:35,372
NOW I'M GONNA BE STUCK WITH HIM
FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS.

63
00:02:35,502 --> 00:02:37,156
OH, DAVID, AT LEAST TRY.

64
00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:40,290
MAYBE SPENDING SOME QUALITY TIME
WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

65
00:02:40,420 --> 00:02:41,508
OH, YEAH.

66
00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,467
THE LAST 20 YEARS
DIDN'T MAKE A DENT.

67
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:47,340
BUT THE NEXT TWO DAYS,
THAT'LL BREAK THE ICE, HONEY.

68
00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:50,256
I'M SO SORRY, DAVID.
I MESSED UP SO BAD.

69
00:02:51,779 --> 00:02:52,998
YOU GOT CALLED IN
TO JURY DUTY,

70
00:02:53,128 --> 00:02:54,304
SO I WENT DOWN
TO THE COURTHOUSE

71
00:02:54,434 --> 00:02:55,740
TO PERSONALLY GET YOU
OUT OF IT,

72
00:02:55,870 --> 00:02:57,742
BUT THEY WOULDN'T MAKE
AN EXCEPTION THIS TIME,

73
00:02:57,872 --> 00:02:59,004
NOT EVEN FOR YOU.

74
00:02:59,134 --> 00:03:01,441
ARE YOU SAYING
WHAT I THINK YOU'RE SAYING?

75
00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:04,749
YEAH, DAVID,
YOU HAVE JURY DUTY TODAY.

76
00:03:04,879 --> 00:03:06,229
TODAY?
YES!

77
00:03:06,359 --> 00:03:09,232
OH, THAT IS FANTASTIC NEWS!

78
00:03:09,362 --> 00:03:12,496
OH, WOW!
THIS IS SO BAD.

79
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:13,758
OH, HONEY, I'M S--
I CAN'T SPEND QUALITY TIME

80
00:03:13,888 --> 00:03:16,935
WITH YOUR DAD NOW.

81
00:03:17,065 --> 00:03:18,502
[growls]

82
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:44,397
DADDY, ARE YOU SNEAKING
A MINI QUICHE?

83
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:45,442
NO.

84
00:03:45,572 --> 00:03:47,139
YES.

85
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,141
DON'T TELL GRANDPA.

86
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:50,534
DON'T TELL GRANDPA WHAT?

87
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:53,537
OH, UH, WELL, MAJOR, UNFORTUNATELY,

88
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,800
I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO SPEND
ANY QUALITY TIME WITH YOU

89
00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:58,716
BECAUSE...
OH, I HAVE JURY DUTY.

90
00:03:58,846 --> 00:03:59,891
[growls]

91
00:04:00,021 --> 00:04:01,371
JURY DUTY?

92
00:04:01,501 --> 00:04:02,850
WHAT'S THAT?

93
00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:04,461
WELL, THAT'S WHERE
I GET TO TELL WHETHER OR NOT

94
00:04:04,591 --> 00:04:05,984
SOMEBODY HAS DONE
SOMETHING WRONG

95
00:04:06,114 --> 00:04:07,333
AND PUNISH THEM.

96
00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:10,336
LIKE WHEN THE TEACHER
GIVES YOU TIME-OUT?

97
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:14,384
YEAH, BUT THESE ARE, LIKE,
TIME-OUTS FOR FIVE TO TEN YEARS.

98
00:04:14,514 --> 00:04:17,387
- WOW. TOUGH SCHOOL.
- YEAH.

99
00:04:17,517 --> 00:04:20,172
WOW, DAVID. I'M SURPRISED YOU
DIDN'T PULL THE CELEBRITY CARD

100
00:04:20,303 --> 00:04:23,306
AND FINAGLE YOUR WAY OUT OF IT.

101
00:04:23,436 --> 00:04:25,743
DAD, SINCE THE KIDS
ARE ON SCHOOL VACATION,

102
00:04:25,873 --> 00:04:26,874
I TOLD 'EM YOU'RE IN CHARGE,

103
00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:28,615
SO MAYBE THIS AFTERNOON
YOU CAN ALL WATCH

104
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:29,834
MY SOAP OPERA TOGETHER?

105
00:04:29,964 --> 00:04:31,139
I DOUBT IF WE'LL HAVE TIME.

106
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,837
I GOT TO TOUGHEN
THESE KIDS UP.

107
00:04:32,967 --> 00:04:35,840
PICKING UP
SOME OF DAVID'S SLACK.

108
00:04:35,970 --> 00:04:39,234
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, SIR,
I PICK UP DAVID'S SLACKS.

109
00:04:39,365 --> 00:04:41,715
[chuckles]
- STOP TALKING, PLEASE.

110
00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,630
- IT'S MY JOB. I DO.
- I HAVE TO GO SERVE MY COUNTRY.

111
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,502
OKAY, DAD, THERE'S FOOD
IN THE FRIDGE.

112
00:04:45,632 --> 00:04:46,677
YOU KNOW MY CELL.

113
00:04:46,807 --> 00:04:49,027
AND IF YOU GUYS DECIDE
TO WATCH THE SHOW,

114
00:04:49,157 --> 00:04:54,249
IT'S ACTUALLY ON CHANNEL--
- GOT IT.

115
00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:57,209
EMILY, JOE, JANIE,

116
00:04:57,340 --> 00:05:00,081
I'VE BEEN PUT IN CHARGE
OF THIS OUTPOST,

117
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:01,735
SO WE GOT A BUSY DAY
OF BOOT CAMP.

118
00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:03,824
WE'RE GONNA START
WITH CALISTHENICS,

119
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:07,175
SELF-DEFENSE,
THEN LUNCH,

120
00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:10,353
AND THEN
WE'LL REALLY START WORKING.

121
00:05:10,483 --> 00:05:12,877
WHAT IF WE HAVE TO PEE?

122
00:05:13,007 --> 00:05:15,270
NOT ON MY WATCH.

123
00:05:15,401 --> 00:05:19,405
WHY WOULD I PEE
ON YOUR WATCH?

124
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:22,234
GRANDPA, SIR,

125
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,758
AS MUCH AS I LOVE
A HIGHLY STRUCTURED DAY,

126
00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:26,978
I'VE GOT
A TON OF HOMEWORK TO DO.

127
00:05:27,108 --> 00:05:29,981
WELL, EMILY, I APPLAUD
YOUR DEDICATION TO ACADEMIA.

128
00:05:30,111 --> 00:05:33,201
THAT'S AN HONORABLE
DISCHARGE FOR YOU.

129
00:05:33,332 --> 00:05:35,029
YOUR LOSS, EMILY.

130
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,509
THIS IS GONNA GIVE ME
THE SIX-PACK

131
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:37,641
THE LADIES
HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR.

132
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:38,816
YEAH!

133
00:05:38,946 --> 00:05:41,514
NO ONE'S WAITING, JOE.

134
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,042
WELL, THOSE LAWYERS
DIDN'T TAKE MUCH TIME

135
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:49,653
MAKING THEIR CASE.

136
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:51,481
WELL, THERE WAS A LOT
OF OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE

137
00:05:51,611 --> 00:05:52,612
AGAINST THE DEFENDANT.

138
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,527
WE'LL BE OUT OF HERE
IN NO TIME,

139
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:55,963
AND WE CAN ALL GO HOME
AND SEE OUR FAMILIES.

140
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:57,356
WHOA, WHOA.

141
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:58,052
SLOW YOUR ROLL THERE,
NUMBER TWO.

142
00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,663
WHAT'S YOUR HURRY?

143
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,621
WE'RE HERE TO SERVE JUSTICE,
MY FRIEND,

144
00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:03,188
AND THAT TAKES TIME.

145
00:06:03,318 --> 00:06:05,364
IT MIGHT TAKE A WHOLE DAY...

146
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:07,235
POSSIBLY THREE.

147
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,629
THE SURVEILLANCE CAMERA
SHOWED THE DEFENDANT

148
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,152
WALKING OUT OF THE STORE
WITH THE FLAT SCREEN

149
00:06:11,283 --> 00:06:14,939
UNDER HIS JACKET.

150
00:06:15,069 --> 00:06:17,724
YOUR POINT?

151
00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:19,900
AND HE POSTED A PICTURE
OF HIMSELF

152
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:23,600
WITH A CAPTION SAYING, "CHECK
OUT THE 3-D TV I STOLE."

153
00:06:23,730 --> 00:06:26,777
W-W-WHAT IF HE WAS SOMEONE
WHO LOOKED JUST LIKE HIM?

154
00:06:26,907 --> 00:06:31,651
BEING A BIG TV STAR,
I-I'VE HAD MANY STUNT DOUBLES.

155
00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:34,872
WHY WOULD THE GUY
HAVE A STUNT DOUBLE?

156
00:06:35,002 --> 00:06:38,223
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE
TO FIND OUT.

157
00:06:38,353 --> 00:06:41,269
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M
ON THE SAME JURY AS DAVID HOBBS.

158
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,010
MY NAME IS--
- NO, NO, NO.

159
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:44,882
DON'T TELL ME.
I WON'T REMEMBER.

160
00:06:45,012 --> 00:06:47,972
LOOK, WE JUST ALL NEED
TO ELECT A FOREMAN

161
00:06:48,102 --> 00:06:49,452
AND GET THE JOB DONE.

162
00:06:49,582 --> 00:06:53,456
I NOMINATE
JUROR NUMBER THREE.

163
00:06:53,586 --> 00:06:54,848
- WHO'S WITH HER?
- [sputters]

164
00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,415
OKAY.

165
00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,069
NOW, AS YOUR
NEWLY ELECTED FOREMAN,

166
00:06:58,199 --> 00:07:01,942
I THINK IT'S TIME THAT WE DIG
INTO THE FACTS OF THIS CASE.

167
00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:03,640
AND THE FACT IS--

168
00:07:03,770 --> 00:07:05,772
LOOK AT THAT--LUNCHTIME.
PIZZA, ANYBODY?

169
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,121
- OOH!
- OKAY.

170
00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:09,472
WE DON'T NEED PIZZA.
W-WE NEED A VERDICT.

171
00:07:09,602 --> 00:07:11,604
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!

172
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:14,564
DAVID HOBBS AND I ARE HUNGRY.

173
00:07:14,694 --> 00:07:16,914
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM,
NUMBER TWO?

174
00:07:17,044 --> 00:07:18,219
IS THERE SOMEWHERE
YOU NEED TO BE?

175
00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:20,570
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TONIGHT.

176
00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:23,224
REALLY?
OH, I LIKE BIRTHDAYS.

177
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:24,878
ALL THOSE IN FAVOR

178
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,010
OF A COURTROOM-THEMED
BIRTHDAY PARTY SAY, "AYE."

179
00:07:26,140 --> 00:07:27,011
all: AYE!

180
00:07:27,141 --> 00:07:29,013
OKAY.

181
00:07:29,143 --> 00:07:31,276
ALL RIGHT, OVER THE HURDLES,
OVER THE HURDLES, COME ON.

182
00:07:31,406 --> 00:07:33,147
YOU'VE ONLY BEEN DOING THIS
FOR AN HOUR.

183
00:07:33,278 --> 00:07:34,671
YOU SHOULDN'T BE THAT TIRED.

184
00:07:34,801 --> 00:07:36,194
COME ON, COME ON.
GET LOW, GET LOW.

185
00:07:36,324 --> 00:07:38,152
YOU CALL THAT LOW?

186
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:42,722
SLITHER LIKE A WORM,
YOU GRUNT!

187
00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:44,942
COME ON, COME ON.
FASTER, FASTER, FASTER.

188
00:07:45,072 --> 00:07:46,117
FASTER.

189
00:07:46,247 --> 00:07:47,814
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO,
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.

190
00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,076
- OOH!
- OH.

191
00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:51,514
THAT'S JUST SAD.

192
00:07:51,644 --> 00:07:53,603
UH, WHAT'S THIS?

193
00:07:53,733 --> 00:07:54,995
IT'S AN OBSTACLE COURSE

194
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,997
TO STRENGTHEN AGILITY
AND BALANCE.

195
00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:58,433
FUN.

196
00:07:58,564 --> 00:08:00,044
GOING TO TAYLOR'S.

197
00:08:00,174 --> 00:08:01,349
IT'S OKAY, EMILY.

198
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,221
I KNOW YOU'RE
A LITTLE DELICATE FOR THIS.

199
00:08:03,351 --> 00:08:06,572
DAUGHTERS DON'T FALL FAR
FROM THE BAG OF PUPPY KISSES.

200
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:08,792
PLEASE, GRANDPA.

201
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,315
IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO STUDY,

202
00:08:10,445 --> 00:08:13,013
THIS PUPPY WOULD SAIL THROUGH
YOUR LITTLE JUNGLE GYM,

203
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:15,407
WAG MY TAIL,
THEN BURY YOUR FAVORITE SHOE

204
00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:18,802
IN THE BACKYARD,
SO TALK TO THE PAW.

205
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:23,894
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT,
SPONGE BUTT FLABBY PANTS.

206
00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,637
[normal voice]
OH, IT IS ON.

207
00:08:27,767 --> 00:08:28,725
[clicks switch]

208
00:08:28,855 --> 00:08:31,989
OKAY, NOW IT'S ON.

209
00:08:32,119 --> 00:08:34,208
[all cheering]

210
00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:36,167
OH! OKAY!

211
00:08:36,297 --> 00:08:37,734
HEAR YE! HEAR YE!

212
00:08:37,864 --> 00:08:39,649
[pounds table]
OH.

213
00:08:39,779 --> 00:08:41,738
THIS COURT WILL COME TO ORDER

214
00:08:41,868 --> 00:08:46,177
AND WISH JUROR NUMBER TWO
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

215
00:08:46,307 --> 00:08:47,570
[overlapping chatter]

216
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:49,615
[all cheering]

217
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:52,313
IT'S PIÑATA TIME!

218
00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:56,317
[all cheering]

219
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:59,190
OKAY, LET HER RIP.

220
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:00,495
GO!

221
00:09:00,626 --> 00:09:03,542
[all cheering, laughing]

222
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:06,023
I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN!
[screams]

223
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:11,855
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I GOT KICKED OFF THE JURY.

224
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,378
I'M GONNA BE STUCK LISTENING
TO THE MAJOR

225
00:09:13,508 --> 00:09:14,858
TELL ME HOW THE PRIMA DONNA

226
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,729
CAN'T HANDLE BEING
A REGULAR CITIZEN.

227
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,949
DAVID, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO GO IN THERE.

228
00:09:19,079 --> 00:09:20,211
THERE'S ANOTHER WAY.

229
00:09:20,341 --> 00:09:21,734
LIKE WHAT?

230
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:25,433
I HAVE HIS AND HIS
RUNNING-AWAY KITS.

231
00:09:27,653 --> 00:09:30,787
I GOT CURRENCY,
TICKETS, FAKE SWISS I.D.s.

232
00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:34,921
IN 12 HOURS, WE COULD BE SKIING
IN ZURICH.

233
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:36,314
- REALLY?
- YEAH.

234
00:09:36,444 --> 00:09:39,273
NO, NO,
I CAN'T LIE TO HIM.

235
00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:41,319
ALL RIGHT,
I GOT ONE MORE DAY

236
00:09:41,449 --> 00:09:43,626
OF HIM TAKING POTSHOTS
AT ME.

237
00:09:43,756 --> 00:09:45,497
JUST THINK ABOUT IT, DAVID,

238
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:49,849
OR SHOULD I SAY
"DIETER VON HOBBSENBURG"?

239
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:54,245
OH!

240
00:09:54,375 --> 00:09:55,855
I'LL BE THERE SOON, TAYLOR.

241
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:58,641
I'M JUST
A LITTLE TIED UP RIGHT NOW.

242
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,382
WHAT IS ALL THIS?

243
00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:02,601
OH, DAD!
PLEASE SAVE ME.

244
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:04,255
OH!

245
00:10:04,385 --> 00:10:06,518
OH, DAD.

246
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:09,303
I'M NOT CUT OUT FOR THIS.

247
00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:11,218
"NOT CUT OUT FOR THIS"?

248
00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:14,352
I DIDN'T THINK YOUR FATHER
WAS CUT OUT FOR JURY DUTY,

249
00:10:14,482 --> 00:10:16,397
BUT HE SHOWED UP
AND DID HIS PART.

250
00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:19,836
AND I'M PROUD OF YOU.

251
00:10:22,577 --> 00:10:24,884
"PROUD"?

252
00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:26,756
OF ME?

253
00:10:26,886 --> 00:10:29,454
YOU KNOW...
[stammers]

254
00:10:29,584 --> 00:10:31,630
I WAS ELECTED JURY FOREMAN.

255
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:33,197
JOE, DID YOU HEAR THAT?

256
00:10:33,327 --> 00:10:34,502
EMILY?

257
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:37,157
YOUR FATHER'S IN COMMAND.

258
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:40,857
I-I MISJUDGED YOU, SON.

259
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,907
"SON"?

260
00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:49,692
LITTLE HELP OVER HERE, GRANDPA.

261
00:10:49,822 --> 00:10:51,345
I'M COMING.

262
00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:53,521
WELL, IT'S--IT'S TOO BAD
YOU'RE LEAVING, MAJOR,

263
00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:57,525
BECAUSE TOMORROW
I GIVE MY BIG FOREMAN SPEECH

264
00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:59,310
WHERE I DELIVER THE VERDICT.

265
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,921
OH, THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.

266
00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:03,793
[whispers]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

267
00:11:03,923 --> 00:11:05,620
HE CALLED ME "SON."

268
00:11:05,751 --> 00:11:08,101
YEAH, WELL, I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE
TO FORGET IT.

269
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:09,450
YOU KNOW, I KNOW
WHAT A STICKLER YOU ARE

270
00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:11,322
FOR STICKING TO A SCHEDULE.

271
00:11:11,452 --> 00:11:14,107
YOU KNOW, FOR THIS,
I'LL CHANGE MY SCHEDULE.

272
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,110
WHO WANTS TO GO SEE DAD

273
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:18,938
IN ACTION
AT THE COURTHOUSE TOMORROW?

274
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:21,680
OH, ME.
PLEASE, ME.

275
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:24,074
ARE--ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANT TO DO THAT?

276
00:11:24,204 --> 00:11:26,206
WELL, ABSOLUTELY.

277
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:29,122
AND...

278
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:31,211
UH, CALL ME "DAD."

279
00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:36,739
OH.
OKAY, DAD.

280
00:11:39,872 --> 00:11:41,004
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, DAVID?

281
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,266
HE'S BRINGING THE KIDS DOWN
TO SEE YOU,

282
00:11:42,396 --> 00:11:43,876
AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN
ON THE JURY.

283
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,704
LOOK, HE CALLED ME "SON."

284
00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:48,011
IMAGINE IF I CALLED YOU "SON."

285
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:51,144
OH.

286
00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:53,451
EXACTLY.
ONLY I DIDN'T DROOL.

287
00:11:53,581 --> 00:11:54,887
YOU DID A LITTLE.

288
00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,454
I GOT IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO?

289
00:11:56,584 --> 00:11:58,108
I'M GONNA ACT SICK. LOOK...

290
00:11:58,238 --> 00:11:59,674
[coughs]

291
00:11:59,805 --> 00:12:01,198
I LOOK SICK?
- EW. OH, YEAH.

292
00:12:01,328 --> 00:12:02,939
I MEAN, YOUR PERFORMANCE
IS FLAWLESS,

293
00:12:03,069 --> 00:12:04,636
BUT YOU LOOK RADIANT
AS ALWAYS.

294
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:05,811
[clears throat]

295
00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:08,596
CURSE MY INNER GLOW.

296
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:11,338
WAIT.
I HAVE AN IDEA.

297
00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:13,297
REMEMBER EPISODE 134
WHEN WE SHOT

298
00:12:13,427 --> 00:12:14,515
ON LOCATION IN PARIS--

299
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:18,476
{\an8}<i>SEE DAD GET HIS HUNCHBACK?</i>

300
00:12:18,606 --> 00:12:20,957
RINGS A BELL.

301
00:12:23,350 --> 00:12:26,223
EASY PEASY.

302
00:12:26,353 --> 00:12:28,442
OH!
- OH, GRANDPA!

303
00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:29,922
OW!

304
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:31,837
OH!

305
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:35,188
NOT SO EASY WHEN YOU'RE
FACING ENEMY FIRE, HUH?

306
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:38,757
GRANDPA,
I'M IN SEVENTH GRADE.

307
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:40,933
THE ONLY ENEMY FIRE I GET
IS ON MY THIGHS

308
00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:43,327
WHEN I SLIDE DOWN THE ROPE
IN GYM CLASS.

309
00:12:43,457 --> 00:12:44,763
HE'S RIGHT, GRANDPA.

310
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,286
WE ARE NEVER GONNA NEED
ANY OF THIS.

311
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:48,027
NOT TRUE.

312
00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:49,550
YOU'RE GONNA NEED THIS
WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

313
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:51,814
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE
A REGULAR GRANDPA

314
00:12:51,944 --> 00:12:53,685
INSTEAD OF TREATING US
LIKE SOLDIERS?

315
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:55,426
THAT'S IT?

316
00:12:55,556 --> 00:12:57,645
YOU'RE SURRENDERING?

317
00:12:57,776 --> 00:13:01,954
SOFT,
JUST LIKE THEIR DADDY.

318
00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:05,392
I'M HOME.

319
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:09,396
DAD, IT LOOKS JUST LIKE
THE HOUSE I GREW UP IN,

320
00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:12,138
EXCEPT
WITHOUT THE BARBED WIRE.

321
00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:13,966
NEXT VISIT.

322
00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:16,534
SO DID YOU GET A CHANCE
TO WATCH MY SHOW?

323
00:13:16,664 --> 00:13:18,188
I WAS A LITTLE BUSY HERE

324
00:13:18,318 --> 00:13:20,755
TRYING TO TURN YOUR POWDER PUFFS
INTO SOLDIERS.

325
00:13:20,886 --> 00:13:23,193
OH, OKAY, I UNDERSTAND.

326
00:13:23,323 --> 00:13:25,325
BUT IT'S NOT EVERY DAY
YOUR DAUGHTER'S ON TV.

327
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:26,936
ACTUALLY, IT IS EVERY DAY.

328
00:13:27,066 --> 00:13:28,328
YOU KNOW WHAT?

329
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:32,115
IT'LL GIVE YOU A CHANCE
TO MISS IT TOMORROW.

330
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,768
OH, HEY, HONEY.

331
00:13:33,899 --> 00:13:37,076
LISTEN, MY HUNCHBACK
IS REALLY FLARING UP TODAY.

332
00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:40,166
I DON'T THINK I CAN MAKE IT
BACK TO JURY DUTY.

333
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:41,385
DAVID, WHY ARE YOU DOING

334
00:13:41,515 --> 00:13:44,083
YOUR {\an8}<i>SEE DAD GET HIS HUNCHBACK
BIT?</i>

335
00:13:46,172 --> 00:13:50,089
CAN I SEE YOU
IN THE KITCHEN, PLEASE?

336
00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:51,917
YOUR FATHER CAN'T COME
TO THE COURTHOUSE.

337
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:54,137
I GOT KICKED OFF THE JURY.

338
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,226
NOW HE'S PROUD OF ME.
HE CALLED ME "SON."

339
00:13:56,356 --> 00:13:58,576
I CALLED HIM "DAD."
IT'S A WHOLE THING.

340
00:13:58,706 --> 00:14:00,230
WOW. HE'S GONNA GO
ALL THE WAY

341
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,405
TO A COURTROOM
TO SEE YOU,

342
00:14:01,535 --> 00:14:03,189
BUT HE CAN'T EVEN POINT
THE REMOTE

343
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,322
TO THE TV
TO WATCH MY SHOW?

344
00:14:05,452 --> 00:14:08,891
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I BET HE'S NEVER EVEN SEEN IT.

345
00:14:09,021 --> 00:14:11,110
THAT'S IT.
I'LL PUT ON A SHOW.

346
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:13,330
- WHAT?
- I'LL FAKE THE WHOLE THING--

347
00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:17,421
THE JURY, THE COURTROOM,
THE JUDGE, EVERYTHING.

348
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:21,425
ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING
TO ME?

349
00:14:21,555 --> 00:14:22,774
YEAH, I WAS AT FIRST,
BUT WHAT I WAS SAYING

350
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,645
WAS WAY MORE INTERESTING, HONEY.

351
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:31,130
OKAY, PEOPLE, LET'S GO OVER
MY SCRIPT ONE MORE TIME.

352
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:34,133
NOW, WHEN THE JUDGE SAYS,
"GUILTY AS CHARGED,"

353
00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:36,614
YOU STAND UP AND SAY,
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE,"

354
00:14:36,744 --> 00:14:38,485
AND ATTACK THE BAILIFF.

355
00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:40,748
THEN DAVID WILL HEROICALLY LEAP
OUT OF THE JURY BOX

356
00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:41,924
AND TAKE YOU DOWN.

357
00:14:42,054 --> 00:14:43,926
NOW, NO MATTER
WHAT HAPPENS, PEOPLE,

358
00:14:44,056 --> 00:14:45,536
STAY IN CHARACTER.

359
00:14:45,666 --> 00:14:48,365
AH. AH.

360
00:14:48,495 --> 00:14:49,496
OKAY. OH!

361
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:50,802
COPY THAT.
OKAY, GUYS.

362
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,456
IT'S SHOWTIME!

363
00:14:52,586 --> 00:14:55,111
IN THREE, TWO, AND...
- HEY.

364
00:15:06,078 --> 00:15:09,690
AH, THE AMERICAN
JUSTICE SYSTEM--

365
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:13,607
THIS IS WHY I SACRIFICED
MY BIG TOE OVERSEAS.

366
00:15:15,522 --> 00:15:17,829
YOU KNOW, DAD,
I ONCE WON AN AWARD

367
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,352
PLAYING A LAWYER
ON A SOAP.

368
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:20,919
AND I WON THE MEDAL
OF HONOR

369
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:25,619
FOR THROWING MYSELF
ON A LIVE GRENADE.

370
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,404
[imitates explosion]

371
00:15:27,534 --> 00:15:32,061
ALL RISE, FOR THE HONORABLE
JUDGE BOB SKYWALKER.

372
00:15:35,194 --> 00:15:39,068
YOU MAY BE SEATED.

373
00:15:39,198 --> 00:15:41,505
JURORS, THANK YOU
FOR YOUR SERVICE,

374
00:15:41,635 --> 00:15:44,160
ESPECIALLY TO OUR FOREMAN,
DAVID HOBBS,

375
00:15:44,290 --> 00:15:46,336
WHO TOOK TIME AWAY
FROM HIS LIFE

376
00:15:46,466 --> 00:15:48,077
TO SERVE THE COURT.

377
00:15:48,207 --> 00:15:51,167
JURY, HAVE YOU REACHED
A VERDICT?

378
00:15:51,297 --> 00:15:52,733
YES, WE HAVE, YOUR HONOR.

379
00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:54,822
OH, PLEASE, MR. HOBBS,

380
00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:57,956
THE HONOR IS ALL MINE.

381
00:15:58,087 --> 00:15:59,610
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE
AN OPENING COMMENT

382
00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:01,351
OR OBSERVATION,
MR. FOREMAN?

383
00:16:01,481 --> 00:16:04,963
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

384
00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:07,183
I BELIEVE THAT IT'S UP

385
00:16:07,313 --> 00:16:09,881
TO EACH AND EVERYONE
ONE OF US

386
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:13,754
TO UPHOLD THE LAWS
OF THIS GREAT NATION.

387
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:17,106
AND ON THAT NOTE,
I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT

388
00:16:17,236 --> 00:16:18,672
AND GIVE A SPECIAL THANKS

389
00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:22,850
TO THE BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN
OF THE UNITED STATES MILITARY...

390
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:25,723
WHO SACRIFICE
SO MUCH FOR US,

391
00:16:25,853 --> 00:16:29,161
ESPECIALLY BIG TOES.

392
00:16:32,338 --> 00:16:33,557
AND ON THAT NOTE,

393
00:16:33,687 --> 00:16:35,472
I'D ALSO LIKE TO THANK
THE JURY,

394
00:16:35,602 --> 00:16:40,172
WHO, WITH MY STEADY
AND FAIR LEADERSHIP,

395
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:41,695
FIND THE DEFENDANT,
BART VADER,

396
00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:43,001
GUILTY OF BURGLARY!

397
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,263
[all gasp]

398
00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:45,786
THIS MAN HAS BURGLED,
AND AS A "BURGLARIST,"

399
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,136
HE SHOULD DO HIS TIME!

400
00:16:47,266 --> 00:16:49,747
THANK YOU.
- GUILTY AS CHARGED!

401
00:16:49,877 --> 00:16:52,750
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA
TAKE ME ALIVE!

402
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,666
I GOT THIS!
OOH!

403
00:16:55,796 --> 00:16:58,495
LET'S GET HIM.

404
00:17:04,109 --> 00:17:06,242
[groans]

405
00:17:06,372 --> 00:17:09,332
HEY! COME HERE!

406
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,595
- HEY!
- HUH?

407
00:17:11,725 --> 00:17:14,424
[grunts]
OOH!

408
00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:25,913
HEY!

409
00:17:26,044 --> 00:17:28,177
UH! OH!

410
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:36,098
- WE DID IT!
- YES!

411
00:17:39,057 --> 00:17:42,713
HOLY SHRAPNEL.

412
00:17:42,843 --> 00:17:45,150
CRUDITE?

413
00:17:50,851 --> 00:17:52,810
DAD, THAT WAS
THE MOST AWESOME FAKE THING

414
00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:54,377
YOU HAVE EVER DONE.

415
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:57,641
THANK YOU, SON.
NICE TACKLE.

416
00:17:57,771 --> 00:18:00,339
WELL, YOU WERE RIGHT, GRANDPA.

417
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,341
I GUESS ALL THAT TRAINING
REALLY DID PAY OFF.

418
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:04,691
YEAH, AND YOU DID IT
WHEN IT COUNTED...

419
00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:09,305
WELL, WHEN YOU THOUGHT
IT COUNTED.

420
00:18:09,435 --> 00:18:11,045
both:
THANKS, GRANDPA.

421
00:18:11,176 --> 00:18:13,787
YOU KNOW, I PUSHED
YOU KIDS HARD,

422
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:16,138
BUT, YOU KNOW,
IT'S ALL I KNOW.

423
00:18:16,268 --> 00:18:20,272
YOU'RE THE LAST SOLDIERS
I'VE GOT.

424
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,579
TROOPS, ATTEN-HUT!

425
00:18:22,709 --> 00:18:23,884
OH, COME ON.

426
00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:25,799
AT EASE.

427
00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:27,714
GRANDPA NEEDS A HUG.

428
00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:29,586
GRANDPA.

429
00:18:29,716 --> 00:18:30,630
UGH.

430
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:32,241
NEED AIR.

431
00:18:32,371 --> 00:18:35,069
OOH.

432
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,725
[laughing]

433
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:41,815
- DAVID?
- YES?

434
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:43,774
WE NEED TO TALK.

435
00:18:43,904 --> 00:18:45,210
UH...

436
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,473
ABOUT WHAT?

437
00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:49,301
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT HE'S NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT--

438
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:50,737
MY SHOW.

439
00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:53,349
[sighs]

440
00:18:53,479 --> 00:18:55,089
I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE GOING TO SAY.

441
00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:56,874
I'M COMPLETELY
WHAT YOU EXPECTED--

442
00:18:57,004 --> 00:18:59,572
A HOLLYWOOD SOFTIE.

443
00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:02,096
MAJOR, I KNOW
YOU DON'T APPROVE OF ME.

444
00:19:02,227 --> 00:19:05,317
DAVID,
I'VE ALWAYS APPROVED OF YOU.

445
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,798
NO, I'M PRETTY SURE
YOU HAVEN'T.

446
00:19:10,104 --> 00:19:13,891
DAVID, I LET YOU MARRY
MY LITTLE GIRL.

447
00:19:14,021 --> 00:19:16,067
NOW, THAT'S
THE HIGHEST COMPLIMENT

448
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,329
I COULD'VE GIVEN TO ANYONE.

449
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:20,680
YEAH.
THANK YOU.

450
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,856
BUT...

451
00:19:22,987 --> 00:19:26,991
WELL, I LIKED IT
WHEN YOU CALLED ME "SON," DAD.

452
00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:29,907
WELL, WHAT DO WE DO--

453
00:19:30,037 --> 00:19:33,040
HUG NOW AND BREAK OUT
SOME QUICHE LORRAINE?

454
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,396
OKAY, I-I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU'RE SERIOUS OR NOT,

455
00:19:40,526 --> 00:19:42,876
SO I'M--I'M GONNA GO
IN THE KITCHEN

456
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:45,052
AND HEAT THEM UP.

457
00:19:48,055 --> 00:19:50,971
IF YOU COME IN,
YOU COME IN.

458
00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:54,105
NO--NO JUDGMENTS.

459
00:19:57,978 --> 00:20:00,720
[sighs, chuckles]

460
00:20:05,551 --> 00:20:06,465
IT WAS GREAT
HAVING YOU, DAD.

461
00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:09,207
- WEARING OUT THE "DAD" THING.
- OKAY.

462
00:20:09,338 --> 00:20:11,905
SORRY.
[coughs] DAD.

463
00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:13,516
I'LL SEE YOU SOON, SWEETHEART.

464
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:15,474
OH, HAVE
A SAFE TRIP HOME, DADDY.

465
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:16,475
- YEAH.
- I LOVE YOU.

466
00:20:16,606 --> 00:20:18,172
LOVE YOU, SWEETHEART.

467
00:20:18,303 --> 00:20:21,785
AND DON'T LET ANYONE MISTREAT
LITTLE SALLY DESARIO.

468
00:20:21,915 --> 00:20:24,918
SHE'S MY FAVORITE CHARACTER
IN THAT "FORT PATINA FALLS."

469
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:28,313
AND YOU TELL THAT SANTIAGO
YOU'RE A MARRIED WOMAN.

470
00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:35,755
HE'S BEEN WATCHING MY SHOW
ALL ALONG!

471
00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:37,322
[both laugh]

472
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:38,715
I'LL MISS YOU, DAD.

473
00:20:38,845 --> 00:20:41,457
PLEASE STOP.