HEY, JANIE. I'’M COLLECTING TOYS FOR CHARITY.
GOT ANY?
YOU CAN TAKE THIS ONE.
SHE'’S UG-LY.
THIS IS THE SUSAN B. ANTHONY DOLL I GAVE YOU.
SHE FOUGHT TO GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO VOTE.
YEAH, AND I VOTE TO THROW HER OUT.
BEING A GREAT WOMAN HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH BEING BEAUTIFUL.
EWW, THAT IS HIDEOUS.
DAD, THIS IS SUSAN B. ANTHONY,
ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT WOMEN IN HISTORY.
REALLY? THIS WHOLE TIME I THOUGHT
IT WAS STEVEN SEAGAL.
COME ON.
OUT OF MY WAY, TIME FOR HARD DUTY.
LOOK-- I KNOW YOUR MOTHER'’S MEATLOAF
IS TOUGH ON THE PIPES,
BUT I DON'’T NEED A BLOW-BY-BLOW, OKAY?
DAD, HARD DUTY: THE FINAL PUSH IS THE NAME OF A VIDEO GAME.
FITZY, CARLOS, AND I HAVE BEEN TRAINING
FOR THIS ONLINE TOURNAMENT FOR WEEKS.
ALL RIGHT, JUST DON'’T FORGET MY ONE RULE
ABOUT PLAYING VIDEO GAMES.
DON'’T LET IT CUT INTO ACTUAL TV TIME.
ATTA BOY.
ARE YOU STILL HIDING FROM YOUR BOSS, SWEETIE?
HE DIDN'’T FOLLOW YOU HOME, AMY.
YA NEVER KNOW. RATINGS ON THE SOAP
HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS LOW.
CORDRELL'’S BEEN FIRING ACTORS LEFT AND RIGHT.
I FIGURE HE CAN'’T FIRE ME IF HE CAN'’T FIND ME.
LISTEN TO ME, I SEE CORDRELL ALL THE TIME AT THE GOLF COURSE
AND HE SEEMS NICE ENOUGH TO ME.
I GOTTA TAKE JANIE FOR HER GOLF LESSON, SO IF I RUN INTO HIM
I'’LL JUST WORK SOME OF MY MAGIC ON HIM--OKAY?
OH, THAT'’S SWEET, HONEY, BUT--BUT NO.
NO, DON'’T TALK TO HIM.
WHY?
'’CAUSE YOU'’LL RUIN MY CAREER.
SO WHAT, YOU HAVE TO WALK AROUND DISGUISED
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? WHAT'’S CORDRELL GOING TO SAY
WHEN HE SEES YA?
"HEY, CRAZY, WEIRD, STRANGE, OLD LADY, WHO ARE YOU
AND WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'’ HERE?"
STRANGER DANGER! I'’LL SAVE YOU, DAVID!
AAH!
OH, I STAND CORRECTED.
[upbeat music]
♪
DADDY, ARE WE TAKING THE LONG WAY TO THE CAR
JUST TO SEE YOUR PLAQUE AGAIN?
DON'’T BE SILLY.
I JUST CAME IN HERE TO CHECK THE PRICE ON VISORS.
AND WHILE WE'’RE AT IT, COME ON, LET'’S GO LOOK AT THE PLAQUE,
IT'’S RIGHT HERE.
AREN'’T YOU PROUD THAT DAD HOLDS THE COURSE RECORD?
IF I SAY YES, WOULD YOU BUY ME ONE OF THOSE PUPPETS?
THOSE ARE NOT PUPPETS. THOSE ARE CLUB COVERS.
ALTHOUGH THIS ONE LOOKS A LOT LIKE SPONGEBOB.
[chuckling]
OH!
[whispering] THAT'’S MOMMY'’S BOSS.
I GOTTA GO TALK TO HIM.
[whispering] MOMMY SAID, "NO, DON'’T.
YOU'’LL RUIN MY CAREER."
THAT COULD MEAN ANYTHING.
I THINK IT MEANS, "NO, DON'’T. YOU'’LL RUIN MY CAREER."
GO PLAY WITH SPONGEBOB.
EDWARD! DAVID HOBBS.
OH, I KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE.
YEAH, I KNOW YOU DO-- EVERYBODY DOES.
I JUST SAY THAT TO APPEAR HUMBLE.
LOOK, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW SOMETHING.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW MY WIFE, AMY, SHE LOVES DOING THE SHOW.
SHE REALLY DOES AND... THINKS THE WORLD OF YOU.
MY WIFE AMY!
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT DOING THE SHOW MEANS TO HER...
MY WIFE AMY.
WELL, I THINK I HAVE SOME IDEA.
UH, PROBABLY ABOUT AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED HOLDING
THE 16-YEAR COURSE RECORD BEFORE YOU TOOK IT AWAY.
LISTEN, WHY DON'’T WE GO OUT AND PLAY A ROUND THIS WEEKEND?
THIS WAY, YOU COULD WIN YOUR RECORD BACK.
WELL, I'’D LOVE TO, BUT THE CLUB IS CLOSED
FOR THE LOCAL TEEN BEAUTY PAGEANT.
TEEN BEAUTY PAGEANT?
MAN, WHAT KIND OF PARENT PARADES THEIR DAUGHTERS AROUND
IN FRILLY BALL GOWNS JUST SO THEY CAN
FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES, RIGHT?
YEAH, MY DAUGHTER'’S IN THE PAGEANT.
WELL, YOU DIDN'’T LET ME FINISH.
WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS THE BEST KIND OF PARENT--THAT'’S WHO.
COINCIDENTALLY, MY DAUGHTER EMILY IS IN THE BEAUTY PAGEANT.
WELL, IT'’S NICE TO MEET A FELLOW PAGEANT ENTHUSIAST.
I-I-I HATE PEOPLE WHO DISMISS IT AS OLD-FASHIONED AND SEXIST.
WE KNOW IT'’S SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
AND, AS A MATTER OF FACT, MY YOUNGEST ONE--MY LITTLE JANIE--
SHE ASPIRES TO THE GRACE AND BEAUTY OF THE PAGEANT, AS WELL.
THAT'’S NOT HER.
SO, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, YOU WANT ME TO ENTER
A BEAUTY PAGEANT THAT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING I BELIEVE?
WHY?
I'’D RATHER NOT SAY.
I'’LL ENTER A PAGEANT.
I'’LL GIVE YOU TWO TICKETS
TO THE CONCERT OF YOUR CHOICE, EMILY.
MY PRINCIPLES CAN'’T BE BOUGHT FOR TWO CONCERT TICKETS.
I'’LL DO IT FOR FREE!
AND WHAT DOES MOM THINK OF ALL THIS?
I'’LL THROW IN A LIMO IF YOU DON'’T INVOLVE HER.
I'’LL WALK THERE.
YOU HAVE TO DO NOTHING. JUST GO DOWN THERE, SIGN UP.
YOU DON'’T EVEN HAVE TO TRY. JUST GO AND SHOW UP.
DAD, BEAUTY PAGEANTS SEND A HORRIBLE MESSAGE TO YOUNG GIRLS
THAT OUTER BEAUTY MATTERS MOST.
I LIKE THAT MESSAGE.
THAT'’S A GOOD MESSAGE.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'’LL DO IT.
REALLY? OH, GREAT. OKAY!
BUT I AM DOING THIS DOG-AND-PONY SHOW MY WAY.
DOGS AND PONIES TOO? CAN THIS GET ANY BETTER?
OH, NOOOOO!
MAN, I JUST GOT HERE!
HEY, I'’M RETURNING YOUR DAD'’S FIVE IRON HE LENT ME.
DON'’T TELL HIM, '’CAUSE HE DOESN'’T KNOW HE LENT IT.
MARCUS, I HAVE BIGGER ISSUES RIGHT NOW.
FITZY AND CARLOS ARE SICK AFTER EATING AT DISCOUNT TACO.
AND NOW THEY CAN'’T PLAY
IN TOMORROW'’S VIDEO GAME TOURNAMENT.
FIRST OF ALL, HOW MUCH MONEY WERE THEY TRYING TO SAVE
BY EATING AT DISCOUNT TACO? MM!
AND SECOND, CAN'’T YOU JUST PLAY WITHOUT THEM?
NOPE. WE ENTERED AS A THREE-MAN SQUAD.
SIX WEEKS OF TRAINING, JUST DOWN THE TOILET.
HA, ALONG WITH THOSE CHEAP TACOS.
AM I RIGHT? CAN I...GET A...
MARCUS, YOU DON'’T UNDERSTAND WHAT GOES INTO THESE ONLINE,
MULTI-PLAYER GAMES.
IT TAKES MONTHS TO EARN HEALTH PACKS, WEAPONRY,...
HOLD ON, I MEAN--I KNOW YOU'’RE SAYING WORDS.
ALL I'’M HEARING IS BOOP, BOP, BOOP, BOOP, BOOP--NERD!
CAN'’T BELIEVE IT'’S COME TO THIS, BUT...
WILL YOU GUYS BE ON MY SQUAD?
NO, I CAN'’T.
MANY YEARS AGO, WHILE PLAYING SAVE THE HUMANOIDS,
I COULDN'’T SAVE THE HUMANOIDS, AND...
[sniffs] I LIVE WITH THAT GUILT EVERY SINGLE DAY.
BUT YOU START A NEW GAME AND THEY COME BACK, RIGHT?
DO THEY, MARCUS? [choking up] DO THEY?
- HEY, HONEY! - HEY!
OOH, I JUST BOUGHT THE CUTEST LITTLE JEGGINGS
FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL.
HONEY, I'’VE TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES,
I DON'’T HAVE THE THIGHS FOR JEGGINGS.
FORTUNATELY, EMILY DOES. WHERE IS SHE?
SHE'’S UPSTAIRS, BUT HANG--
[stammering] THERE'’S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU.
WHAT? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?
WELL, NO. UH, EMILY HAS ENTERED
A BEAUTY PAGEANT... FOR NO APPARENT REASON.
- A BEAUTY PAGEANT? - FOR NO APPARENT REASON.
I SHOULD GO TALK TO HER.
YEAH, YOU SHOULD. BUT WAIT, BEFORE YOU DO THAT,
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I TRIED TO TALK TO HER
AND ASK HER WHY, FOR NO APPARENT REASON,
SHE ENTERED A BEAUTY CONTEST,
AND SHE GOT REALLY SNIPPY AND MOODY
AND ALMOST TORE MY HEAD OFF.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'’LL PROBABLY BE DIFFERENT
WITH YOU, HONEY, SO...HAVE FUN.
ON THE SECOND THOUGHT, MAYBE I SHOULD GIVE HER SOME SPACE.
WELL, TCH... A MOTHER KNOWS.
IT'’S LIKE CHRISTMAS AND MY BIRTHDAY
ROLLED UP INTO ONE SPARKLY DREAM!
CAN I GO SEE THE MAKE-UP AREA?
UH, WELL, SW--ALL RIGHT, HAVE FUN.
DAVID, DID YOU SEE WHOSE NAME IS ON THE PROGRAM?
AMY, YOU KNOW MY POLICY: IF MY NAME'’S NOT ON IT,
I'’M NOT INTERESTED.
[gasps] JULIETTE CORDRELL, MY BOSS'’S DAUGHTER.
THAT MEANS EDWARD COULD BE HERE.
OH...
WHAT DID YOU DO?
- ME? - UH-HUH.
WOW!
DAVID, YOU KNOW
HOW COMPETITIVE THE GUY IS.
WHEN HE FINDS OUT THAT EMILY IS UP AGAINST HIS DAUGHTER,
THIS COULD GO WRONG IN SO MANY WAYS!
OR YOU CAN BOND OVER THE FACT
THAT YOU BOTH HAVE DAUGHTERS IN THE SAME BEAUTY CONTEST.
PAGEANT PALS, IF YOU WILL.
PAGEANT PALS.
HELLO.
WELL, HELLO, PAGEANT PAL.
YOU KNOW, IT'’S FUNNY, AMY,
I'’M USED TO SEEING YOU AS AN ACTOR
WHO COULD SLIP BACK INTO A COMA AT ANY MOMENT,
BUT BEING A PARENT PUTS YOU IN A WHOLE NEW LIGHT.
[forced laugh] WELL...
NOT THE TYPE OF LIGHT YOU WALK TOWARDS, I HOPE.
[laughing]
IT'’S AMAZING HOW OPPRESSIVE THE GENDER STEREOTYPES ARE.
I MEAN, IT'’S DISGUSTING THAT THERE'’S NO MALE EQUIVALENT.
YOU'’RE FUN!
SHE'’S JUST TRYING TO THROW US OFF OUR GAME.
I'’M JUST SAYING SOMETIMES EXPECTATIONS--
WANT TO KNOW MY EXPECTATIONS? I EXPECT TO WALK OUT OF HERE
WITH A TROPHY THE SIZE OF A SMALL CHILD.
HELLO!
THIS IS MY LITTLE SISTER, JANIE.
SHE'’S THE REASON I'’M HERE.
SHE THINKS BEING BEAUTIFUL IS ALL THAT MATTERS IN LIFE.
OH, SO YOU GET IT!
JANIE, DO YOU WANT TO BE IN A PAGEANT?
LET'’S DO THIS THING!
SO, TO SHOOT THE L.T.A., YOU PRESS THE X BUTTON.
- THE X BUTTON. - AND TO ACTIVATE YOUR HUD,
YOU PRESS THE SQUARE BUTTON. - SQUARE BU...OKAY.
SO FAR, ALL I'’M HEARING IS BUTTON.
OH, MAN, WE DON'’T HAVE A PRAYER WITHOUT KEVIN.
I AM A QUICK STUDY. I CAN LEARN THIS, MAN.
I'’LL GO GET KEVIN.
[calling]
KEVIN!
COME ON, MAN, WE NEED ANOTHER SOLDIER...
TO OBLITERATE THE ENEMY AND DESTROY THEIR WORLD!
[softer tone] FOR THE CHILDREN.
THAT'’S NOT ME ANYMORE, MARCUS.
I NO LONGER WALK THE WAYS OF THE WARRIOR.
NO, I'’M OUT HERE AT PEACE WITH MY BONSAI TREE.
[chuckles]
THERE'’S NO ANGER LEFT IN ME.
OKAY, THE ANGER'’S COMING BACK.
FOLKS, PLEASE WELCOME OUR NEXT CONTESTANT:
MISS JULIETTE CORDRELL.
JULIETTE IS A VISION IN RHINESTONES AND CHIFFON.
[recorded voice] I LIKE TO LOOK MY BEST AT ALL TIMES:
WHETHER I'’M IN A DESIGNER GOWN,
ENTERTAINING AT ONE OF MY MANY HOMES,
OR IN A DESIGNER GOWN HELPING ONE OF THE MANY HOMELESS.
IT'’S TRUE. FASHION IS HER PASSION.
[forced laughter]
IT'’S WORKING, WE'’RE FRIENDS. - SHH.
[applause]
OUR NEXT, EMILY HOBBS, IS A STUNNER IN...
[audience gasps]
SWEAT PANTS?
[recorded voice] I FIND THAT MY GREATEST ACCESSORY
IS MY MIND.
FOR IT DOESN'’T MATTER WHAT A WOMAN IS WEARING
ON THE OUTSIDE--IT'’S WHAT'’S INSIDE THAT REALLY COUNTS.
NO, IT'’S NOT!
[cheers and applause]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE JUDGES FIND MISS HOBBS
REFRESHINGLY ORIGINAL.
BRAINS OVER BEAUTY, BUT, UH, I'’M NOT SURE I LIKE IT.
OH, ACCORDING TO THE TELEPROMPTER, I DO LIKE IT.
A 9.8?
YOUR DAUGHTER IS BEATING MY DAUGHTER WITH A STUNT LIKE THAT?
COMING, EMILY!
THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE.
NOT ONLY IS OUR DAUGHTER MOCKING THE PAGEANT,
SHE'’S BEATING MY BOSS'’S DAUGHTER.
ALL RIGHT, I'’VE GOT GOOD NEWS.
I INSULTED CORDRELL ABOUT BEAUTY PAGEANTS.
SO I BRIBED EMILY TO ENTER THE CONTEST.
YOUR IDEA OF GOOD NEWS
IS SO DIFFERENT THAN MY IDEA OF GOOD NEWS.
OKAY, WELL, HERE'’S THE GOOD NEWS.
SINCE I BRIBED HER TO GET INTO IT,
I CAN BRIBE HER TO GET OUT OF IT.
OKAY, THEN BRIBE AWAY, PAL.
BECAUSE IF EMILY WINS THIS PAGEANT,
CORDRELL'’S GOING TO GIVE MY CHARACTER EBOLA.
OKAY? - ALL RIGHT.
AND NOW, TO START OFF THE TALENT PORTION,
EMILY HOBBS AS THE MATH MAGICIAN.
[cheers and applause]
AND POOF, THE MATH MAGICIAN
JUST PULLED A LOSER OUT OF THE HAT.
AND TIME!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SHE DID IT!
[applause] - SHE DID IT?
SHE DID IT!
[cheers and applause]
WHAT'’S THE MOST GRUESOME AILMENT WE CAN GIVE AN ACTRESS?
LIKE, WHAT'’S THAT HORRIBLE DISFIGURING DISEASE
THAT JOAN RIVERS HAS?
REALLY?
READY FOR THIS?
I DON'’T KNOW, MAN. I MEAN, WHAT IF I LOST MY EDGE?
WHAT IF I CAN'’T PULL THE TRIGGER ANYMORE?
- AND WE'’RE LIVE! - WHOO!
EAT LASER, ALIEN SCUM! [laughing maniacally]
THIS IS FOR THE HUMANOIDS. REDEMPTION IS MINE!
[imitates machine gun sound]
IT'’S BEAUTIFUL, MAN.
NOW, THIS GOT WEIRD FAST.
MOM, DAD! I'’M ONE OF THE FINALISTS!
YAY!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE JUMPING?
WE'’RE JUMPING ON THE INSIDE.
ISN'’T THIS GREAT?
I'’M WINNING BASED ON MY INNER BEAUTY.
OH, HONEY, YOU'’VE MADE YOUR POINT.
WOMEN HAVE BRAINS, OR WHATEVER, BUT WE'’RE DONE HERE.
LET'’S GO, OKAY? - WAIT, NO!
YOU WANT ME TO QUIT THE COMPETITION?
THROW AWAY EVERYTHING I STAND FOR?
EVERYTHING I BELIEVE IN?
UH, PRETTY MUCH.
BUT I'’M DOING THIS FOR JANIE.
SHE THREW AWAY A DOLL BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT IT WAS UGLY, DAD.
WELL, TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST,
THAT STEVEN SEAGAL WAS NOT A HANDSOME DOLL.
HOLD ON. HOLD ON.
EMILY, SWEETIE--DON'’T QUIT.
I LOVE WHAT YOU'’RE DOING FOR YOUR SISTER.
AND YOUR FATHER AND I, WE'’VE ALWAYS ENCOURAGED YOU
TO GO OUT THERE AND BE THE INDEPENDENT THINKER
THAT WE ARE SO PROUD OF.
THANKS, MOM, THANKS ,DAD!
OKAY, I'’M, UH...
A LITTLE CONFUSED HERE.
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME TO TALK HER OUT OF ALL THIS.
I-I DID, BUT IF CORDRELL'’S GOING TO BE PETTY AND FIRE ME
BECAUSE EMILY'’S WINNING, SO BE IT.
WHAT'’S IMPORTANT TO HER
IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT HE THINKS.
I'’M AN ACTOR.
HOW DO I KNOW WHAT TO THINK IF NOBODY TELLS ME?
LISTEN, YOU SWEATPANTS-WEARING CALCULATOR,
STOP MAKING A JOKE OUT OF THIS.
IT'’S A POSITIVE MESSAGE, AND I'’M NOT HURTING ANYONE.
UH, HELLO! YOU'’RE HURTING EVERYONE.
I HAD BIG PLANS FOR THIS TITLE, AND I'’M SURE MOLLY HERE
HAD SOME STUPID PLAN INVOLVING A HORSE NAMED BUTTERSCOTCH.
NOT EXACTLY, ALTHOUGH I LOVE HORSES.
AND IF I HAD ONE, BUTTERSCOTCH WOULD BE A SUPER CUTE NAME.
I'’M JUST HERE HOPING TO WIN THE SCHOLARSHIP MONEY.
SINCE MY DAD PASSED, THERE'’S NO WAY MY MOM CAN AFFORD
TO SEND ME OR MY LITTLE BROTHER TO COLLEGE.
UGH, TOO SAD FOR ME.
OFF WITH YOUR HEAD, ALIEN!
AND YOUR OTHER HEAD! [game noises in background]
MARCUS, I DON'’T LIKE WHAT WE'’VE UNLEASHED.
WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.
I GOT THIS.
OKAY, YOU'’RE JUST RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES,
PATTING YOUR HEAD.
WHY WOULD THEY MAKE A BUTTON TO DO THAT?
THEY DON'’T.
I CAN'’T BELIEVE WHAT I'’M ABOUT TO DO.
[sound of laser firing]
[whimpering]
WHO SHOT ME?
I DID. IT WAS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
[sound of laser firing] - AH, YES!
I GOT ONE! BLAHH!
MARCUS, YOU JUST SHOT ME!
SO WHAT? I'’M STILL IN THE BATTLE!
[sound of laser firing] OH, OH, OH, OH,
JUST GOT ANOTHER ONE!
YOU JUST SHOT YOURSELF.
I'’M REALLY NOT GOOD AT THIS, AM I?
AND THEN THERE WERE THREE. [cheers and applause]
HOWEVER, EMILY HOBBS HAS AN UNBEATABLE LEAD.
OH, WELL, GOOD LUCK TO ALL.
THE QUESTION FOR OUR CONTESTANTS, IS:
IF I COULD GRANT YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
WHEN I WAS LITTLE, MY DAD TOLD ME
I COULD DO DO ANYTHING MY HEART CAN DREAM.
SO MY WISH IS THAT EVERYONE, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE,
CAN GET A CHANCE AT A QUALITY EDUCATION.
THAT'’S THE ONLY WAY REAL DREAMS COME TRUE.
[cheers and applause]
IF I HAD ONE WISH, I'’D WISH...
THAT THERE WERE NO MORE BABIES.
THEY ARE GROSS, AND THEY ARE DUMB, AND THEY CRY.
- ALL RIGHTY, THEN. - UH--
I THINK I MAY HAVE MISSPOKEN.
JUST TO BE CLEAR, I MEANT BABIES OF ALL SPECIES:
BUNNIES, PONIES, KITTENS, WHAT HAVE YOU.
DON'’T LIKE '’EM, DON'’T NEED '’EM. GOOD NIGHT!
LOVE YOU ALL! OH, EXCEPT PUPPIES--HATE YOU!
[clears throat]
UH...YEAH.
WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT THE BABY THING, BLAH, BLAH.
I'’M STUPID!
WHAT'’S HAPPENING?
WELL, I HOPE YOU'’RE HAPPY.
YOU'’RE DAUGHTER RUINED THE CONTEST FOR EVERYBODY.
AND BY EVERYBODY, I MEAN ME.
SO YOU, YOUR CHARACTER WILL NO LONGER...
JUST HOLD THAT THREAT A SECOND.
UM, LISTEN. I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT
AFTER WATCHING OUR DAUGHTERS PERFORM
WITH SUCH DIGNITY AND GRACE,
IT'’S INSPIRED ME TO DO THE SAME,
AND, UM... I HAVE TO TELL YOU
THAT I DIDN'’T BREAK YOUR COURSE RECORD.
WHAT?
YEAH, I TOOK A MULLIGAN ON 18.
- THAT'’S NOT ALLOWED. - I-I'’M WELL AWARE OF THAT.
AND I'’M NOT PROUD OF IT,
BUT THE COURSE RECORD IS STILL YOURS.
YES!
[ahem]
GOTTA RESPECT AN HONEST GOLFER.
SEE YA ON THE LINKS, HOBBS. - OKAY, YOU GOT IT.
AND--AND I'’LL SEE YOU ON THE SET MONDAY, HMM?
YOU WILL?
YOU WILL!
[whispering] THANK YOU.
FOR?
YOU NEVER TOOK A MULLIGAN.
HOW DID YOU KNOW?
BECAUSE THE LAST TIME
YOU WERE ACCUSED OF TAKING A MULLIGAN BY MARCUS
YOU CALLED HIM CARCASS FOR A MONTH.
HUH? - THAT'’S '’CAUSE FOR THAT MONTH,
HE WAS DEAD TO ME.
YOU LOST THE CONTEST ON PURPOSE, DIDN'’T YOU?
YEAH. MOLLY NEEDED IT MORE THAN I DID.
THAT'’S REALLY NICE.
THAT'’S WHAT MAKES SOMEONE PRETTY ON THE INSIDE.
YOU'’RE EXACTLY RIGHT, JANIE.
I GET STUFF.
- EMILY? - YEAH?
WHY DO YOU HATE PUPPIES?
[soft music playing]
♪
FEELING BETTER, KEVIN?
ALMOST.
[sighs]
NOW I FEEL BETTER.