1
00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:10,967
[cheers and applause]
2
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:14,101
WOW, JOE'S TEAM
IS REALLY BAD.
3
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:16,059
WE'RE DOWN BY SEVEN RUNS.
[bat clinks]
4
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:18,801
[cheers and applause]
- EIGHT!
5
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:21,978
[cheers and applause]
- NINE.
6
00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,153
NOTHING BETTER THAN
WATCHING YOUR LITTLE BROTHER
7
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:24,502
PLAY BASEBALL.
8
00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:27,201
GO PANTHERS!
9
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:28,637
YOUR BROTHER
PLAYS FOR THE HAWKS.
10
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:30,813
WHATEVER.
11
00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,684
DIDN'T YOUR MOM TELL ME
THAT YOU HAVE SOME IMPORTANT
12
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:36,036
PSYCHOLOGY PROJECT THAT YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING ON?
13
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:39,648
- GO HAWKS!
- YEAH, I THOUGHT SO.
14
00:00:39,778 --> 00:00:43,347
WHAT'S JOE DOING OUT THERE?
- DIGGING FOR ROCKS.
15
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:45,306
[bat clinks]
16
00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:48,265
HERE IT COMES, JOE!
PUT DOWN THE ROCK, JOE.
17
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,006
THERE IT GOES, JOE!
HERE THEY COME, JOE!
18
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,312
all: AAW!
19
00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:54,967
YAY! MERCY RULE.
LET'S GO HOME.
20
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,231
- WHAT?
- DAD, YOU'RE SNACK MOM.
21
00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:58,754
I THINK THIS IS WHEN
YOU HAND OUT THE CUPCAKES.
22
00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,321
WHY? THEY LOST.
23
00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:02,062
all: [chanting]
SECOND PLACE IS ALMOST FIRST!
24
00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:03,150
NO, IT'S NOT.
25
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,934
all: [chanting]
WE TRIED OUR BEST!
26
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,414
THAT WAS THEIR BEST?
27
00:01:06,544 --> 00:01:08,459
all: [chanting]
AT LEAST WE HAVE OUR HEALTH!
28
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:11,854
HEALTH? THEY PLAYED
LIKE THEY'RE LIFE SUPPORT.
29
00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:14,857
I LITERALLY THINK
A CUPCAKE WOULD KILL THEM.
30
00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,380
HANG ON.
31
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:18,861
- HEY, DAD, IT'S CUPCAKE TIME!
- YEAH, LISTEN JOE.
32
00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:21,733
UM, YOU DON'T SEEM
TOO UPSET THAT YOU LOST.
33
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:23,213
'CAUSE I'M NOT.
34
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:24,954
CHECK OUT WHAT
I GOT FOR MY COLLECTION.
35
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,869
CHA-CHING!
36
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:28,479
YEAH, THAT'S
A REAL BEAUTY, PAL.
37
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:32,004
HEY, DOES YOUR COACH
EVEN CARE ABOUT WINNING?
38
00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:36,052
I DON'T KNOW,
IT'S NEVER COME UP.
39
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:38,489
HOLD ONTO YOUR ROCKS.
I'M GONNA HAVE A WORD WITH HIM.
40
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,796
UH, OH.
41
00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:47,455
HEY, GUYS, WORK RAN LATE.
I'M SORRY I MISSED THE GAME.
42
00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:49,021
AREN'T YOU GOING
TO ASK ME HOW IT WENT?
43
00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:52,938
OH...NO.
44
00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:54,940
YOU'RE LOOKING AT
THE NEW COACH OF THE HAWKS!
45
00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:58,596
- UH-OH.
- THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
46
00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:23,317
SO I'M COACHING JOE'S TEAM.
47
00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:24,883
WHY DOES EVERYBODY
KEEP SAYING "UH-OH?"
48
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:26,102
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "UH-OH?"
49
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:29,453
I MEAN, OH CRAP,
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
50
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:31,063
I LOVE YOU.
51
00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:34,676
SO, HOW DID YOU
GET THE COACHING JOB ANYWAY?
52
00:02:34,806 --> 00:02:36,112
I WALKED OVER TO THE GUY
AND ASKED HIM IF I COULD
53
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:37,722
TAKE OVER HIS JOB,
AND HE KISSED ME ON THE MOUTH
54
00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:40,116
AND RAN TO HIS CAR.
55
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,292
I HAPPEN TO THINK
I'D MAKE A GOOD COACH.
56
00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:46,078
AND I HAPPEN TO AGREE THAT
YOU'D ABSOLUTELY THINK THAT.
57
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:50,039
BUT, SWEETIE, YOU'RE
A TAD...COMPETITIVE.
58
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,867
COMPETITIVE?
PLEASE, HONEY.
59
00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:53,999
JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT
TO HAND OUT CUPCAKES TO A TEAM
60
00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:57,699
THAT LOST BY THE "HAVING
YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU" RULE?
61
00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:59,135
WAIT, YOU DIDN'T
HAND OUT THE CUPCAKES?
62
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,267
- I DID.
- AW!
63
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,877
EVENTUALLY.
64
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,139
I'LL TELL YOU,
FOR A BUNCH OF LOSERS,
65
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,924
THEY HAVE A VERY STRONG
SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT.
66
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:07,317
THEY'RE NOT LOSERS.
67
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:09,537
THEY CAME IN SECOND,
AND SECOND IS ALMOST FIRST.
68
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,191
YEAH.
[silverware clattering]
69
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,496
SEE THAT'S WHAT'S
WRONG WITH AMERICA, IN MY DAY--
70
00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:14,542
OH, PLEASE DON'T
BE THE "IN MY DAY" GUY--
71
00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:16,457
YOU GOT A REWARD WHEN YOU WON.
AND IT WASN'T A CUPCAKE.
72
00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:18,633
- YOU'RE BEING HIM.
- I AM NOT, HONEY, COME ON.
73
00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:20,983
I JUST WANT JOE TO WIN.
I WANT THE TEAM TO WIN.
74
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:22,680
I WANT HIM
TO BE A WINNER.
75
00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,508
PLEASE PROMISE ME YOU'RE NOT
GONNA DO ANYTHING CRAZY HERE,
76
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,162
OKAY?
77
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,164
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT JOE TO GET
HURT, EMOTIONALLY OR OTHERWISE.
78
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:29,644
I PROMISE I WON'T
DO ANYTHING CRAZY.
79
00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:31,167
ALL RIGHT.
80
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,864
NEED I REMIND YOU OF MY
MUCH-BELOVED BASEBALL EPISODE,
81
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:34,388
"MOST VALUABLE DAD."
82
00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:36,999
WHERE I COACH MY TV SON
TO THE LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP?
83
00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:38,566
NOBODY'S FEELINGS GOT HURT.
84
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:39,958
NEED I REMIND YOU
ABOUT THE REAL LIFE
85
00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:42,004
"CELEBRITY SOFTBALL GAME"
WHEN YOU STARTED A BRAWL
86
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:47,009
AND YOU TOOK OUT RYAN SEACREST
AND A KARDASHIAN?
87
00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:48,750
IN MY DEFENSE,
IT WAS THE BIG KARDASHIAN
88
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:52,101
AND SHE WAS THROWING INSIDE.
89
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:55,670
AND THE OTHER ONE
WAS RYAN SEACREST.
90
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,499
DID YOU PICK A TOPIC FOR YOUR
PSYCH MID-TERM PRESENTATION YET?
91
00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:01,110
YEP. "HOW TEENAGE
PROCRASTINATION CAUSES PARENTS
92
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,025
TO LOSE THEIR MINDS."
93
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:04,722
YOU'RE A GENIUS.
94
00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,202
NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO MAKE
THEIR PARENTS LOSE THEIR MINDS
95
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:08,117
BETTER THAN YOU.
96
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,511
THANK YOU!
HERE'S MY PLAN.
97
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,513
I PRETEND TO BLOW OFF
MY PROJECT LONG ENOUGH,
98
00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:15,255
DOCUMENT THE WHOLE THING,
THEY'LL GROUND ME.
99
00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:18,301
HELLO, A!
100
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:19,998
HEY, GIRLS.
HOW'S YOUR PROJECT COMING?
101
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:23,132
WHAT PROJECT?
102
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,051
- HEY JOE, PRACTICE, ONE HOUR.
- OKAY, COOL.
103
00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:30,139
I'M GONNA GET
INTO MY UNIFORM
104
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,707
AND GATHER MY GEOLOGICAL
SAMPLE BAGS.
105
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:38,016
- WHERE DID WE GO WRONG?
- WE?
106
00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:42,064
HELLO, COACH DAVID, I AM
VERY FOR OUR FIRST REHEARSAL.
107
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:45,633
"PRACTICE," KEVIN.
AND DUDE, THIS ISN'T {\an8}GLEE.
108
00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,377
IS THAT THE ROSTER?
- UM--
109
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:52,509
- THE CAST LIST.
- YEAH.
110
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,207
ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE.
WEAVER, 345.
111
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,906
BEACH, 415.
WEITZMAN, 630.
112
00:04:58,036 --> 00:05:00,125
WOW, THESE ARE IMPRESSIVE
BATTING AVERAGES.
113
00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:01,562
OH, I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT A BATTING AVERAGE IS,
114
00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,607
BUT THOSE ARE THE TIMES
THE KIDS ARE AVAILABLE FOR...
115
00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:05,566
PRACTICE.
116
00:05:05,696 --> 00:05:06,697
[chuckles]
117
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:07,916
6:30?
118
00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:10,135
YEAH, WEITZMAN
HAS HEBREW SCHOOL TILL 6:30.
119
00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:15,010
BUT IF HE SKIPS HIS KNISH BREAK,
HE COULD BE GOOD TO GO BY 6:15.
120
00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:18,274
- HEY DAD, HAVE YOU SEEN MY CUP?
- WHERE'D YOU SEE IT LAST?
121
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:21,799
WELL, I WAS USING IT
AS A SIFTER TO SORT ROCKS.
122
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:25,107
YOU'RE USING IT
ON THE WRONG STONES, BROTHER.
123
00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,852
THAT WAS A GREAT PRACTICE, DAD.
124
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:34,464
THIS BUMP ON MY HEAD MAKES ME
FEEL LIKE A REAL BALL PLAYER.
125
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,510
YEAH, AND YOU LOOKED LIKE
A REAL BALL PLAYER.
126
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,600
RUNNING, DIGGING...SIFTING.
127
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:45,301
OH, KEVIN, AGAIN--
SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION.
128
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:48,086
I ASSUMED YOU KNEW THAT
"HEADS UP" MEANT "LOOK OUT."
129
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:51,002
NOT "TRY TO CATCH THE BALL
WITH YOUR FACE."
130
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,440
IT IS NOT MY FIRST
BLOW TO THE HEAD, DAVID.
131
00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:58,227
NOR WILL IT BE MY LAST.
OR MY FIRST.
132
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,317
HEY, PLAYERS,
HOW WAS PRACTICE?
133
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,319
GREAT, MOM.
WE THREW STUFF. WE HIT STUFF.
134
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:06,148
I EVEN SWEATED.
SMELL MY PITS.
135
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:08,106
THAT'S HOW I KNEW
YOU WERE HOME.
136
00:06:08,237 --> 00:06:10,282
HIT THE SHOWERS.
137
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:14,112
WOW. I AM IMPRESSED, COACH.
138
00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:16,463
WHY IS HE SWOLLEN?
139
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:20,205
JOE IS--UM, HOW
DO I PUT THIS DELICATELY?
140
00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,338
HE'S HORRIBLE!
141
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:24,688
MY GOD, I'VE NEVER
SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.
142
00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,473
THAT BUMP ON HIS HEAD?
IT'S NOT FROM TRYING TO CATCH.
143
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:29,432
IT'S FROM TRYING TO THROW.
144
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:33,131
HE'S THE UN-NATURAL.
145
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:37,484
IT WAS A FIELD
OF BROKEN DREAMS.
146
00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:42,097
"HEADS UP." THAT'S HILARIOUS.
WHO COMES UP WITH THIS STUFF?
147
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:44,404
KEVIN, YOU'RE NOT
DRIVING HOME, ARE YOU?
148
00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:47,450
NO, NO. I'M DRIVING.
[laughs]
149
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,498
WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS,
THIS TEAM KNOCKED
150
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:54,544
ALL THE COMPETITIVENESS
RIGHT OUT OF ME.
151
00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:55,937
I CAN'T EVEN
HELP THIS TEAM.
152
00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:58,635
I MEAN, HONEY, I'VE NEVER
SEEN SO MANY ALLERGIES.
153
00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:01,595
GRASS. POLLEN. GLUTEN.
154
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:04,293
TWO KIDS WERE ALLERGIC
TO EACH OTHER.
155
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,991
I COUNTED. WE'VE GOT
SIX BATS AND SEVEN INHALERS.
156
00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:08,689
READY FOR THIS?
157
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:12,344
I TOLD ONE KID TO RUN HOME.
AND HE DID. LITERALLY!
158
00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:15,435
UNBELIEVABLE. EMILY
LEFT HER PSYCHOLOGY BINDER
159
00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:16,958
IN THE REFRIGERATOR.
160
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:21,397
THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY.
DOESN'T THIS MAKE YOU ANGRY?
161
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,530
- GRRR.
- OH, COME ON, DAVID.
162
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:25,183
THIS ISN'T FUNNY.
163
00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:27,098
SHE'S PUTTING HER PROJECT OFF
TILL THE LAST MINUTE AGAIN.
164
00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:29,840
IT'S WORTH HALF HER GRADE
AND IT'S DUE ON FRIDAY.
165
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:31,755
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME
TO SAY, HONEY? COME ON.
166
00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,670
THE KID HAS BEEN GETTING
STRAIGHT A'S SINCE BIRTH.
167
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:34,802
HOW DO YOU THINK
SHE GOT THOSE STRAIGHT A'S?
168
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:37,239
SHE NEEDS ME TO PUSH HER.
169
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,849
- HERE'S A CRAZY PLAN.
- WHAT?
170
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:41,286
DON'T PUSH HER.
171
00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:43,158
OKAY, SO YOU'RE SAYING
WE SHOULD MAKE HER RESPONSIBLE
172
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:44,638
FOR HER OWN WORK.
173
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:48,076
- YEAH, SURE.
- I KNOW, RIGHT? HOLD ON.
174
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:49,817
HEY, GUYS, HAVE YOU
SEEN MY PSYCH BINDER?
175
00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:53,255
- TRY THE FRIDGE.
- CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, MARY?
176
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:57,259
I LEFT IT IN THE FRIDGE.
THAT'S HILARIOUS.
177
00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:59,870
OH, QUICK PSYCH QUESTION.
178
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:04,614
AM I CRAZY OR DID CARLOS
LOOK SUPER HOT TODAY?
179
00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:06,137
I'M SORRY, DID YOU
SAY SOMETHING?
180
00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:09,532
- NO.
- NOTHING TO SAY HERE, HONEY.
181
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,798
PSYCH PROJECT DUE
IN TWO DAYS.
182
00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:16,974
ALARMING LACK
OF PARENTAL RESPONSE.
183
00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:20,500
SHOULD'VE BEEN GROUNDED BY NOW.
WONDERING WHAT NEXT MOVE IS.
184
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:24,155
ALSO WONDERING ABOUT CARLOS.
HE DID LOOK SUPER HOT TODAY.
185
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,248
WHEN CAN WE
GET SOME ICE-CREAM?
186
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:31,641
IN A MINUTE, SWEETIE.
187
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,469
FIRST WE'VE GOTTA
GET SOME MOMMY THINGS.
188
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,993
WHAT MOMMY THINGS?
189
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:37,691
THINGS DADDY SHOULDN'T
HAVE TO GET FOR MOMMY,
190
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:40,650
BUT MOMMY SAYS IT'S
THE LEAST THAT DADDY CAN DO.
191
00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:47,483
[clattering]
192
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:50,878
BABY, I TOLD YOU
NOT TO REACH FOR STUFF.
193
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,490
OH, HEY.
- YO, SPORT, SHOP MUCH?
194
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,927
- YEAH, SORRY.
- HEY, HEY I KNOW YOU.
195
00:08:57,058 --> 00:09:00,627
- PROBABLY FROM TV.
- UH, NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
196
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,846
YOU'RE THE HAWKS' NEW COACH.
197
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,761
- DAVID HOBBS.
- HEY, COACH VINCE.
198
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:07,372
[chuckles] YOU'RE
PLAYING MY TEAM ON SATURDAY.
199
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:08,504
[laughs]
200
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:11,942
[chuckles]
WHY ARE WE LAUGHING?
201
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,857
NO REASON. NO REASON.
HOW'S "THE JEWELER" DOING?
202
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:16,033
- THE JEWELER?
- YEAH. YOUR BOY.
203
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:19,167
THAT'S WHAT WE CALL HIM BECAUSE
HIS ONLY INTEREST IN BASEBALL
204
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:23,258
IS THAT THE INFIELD IS CALLED
A DIAMOND AND HE DIGS ROCKS.
205
00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:28,132
[chuckles] THE JEWELER.
- THAT'S FUNNY.
206
00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:30,091
NO, THAT'S NOT FUNNY, SWEETIE.
IT'S NOT EVEN CLEVER.
207
00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:32,049
HEY, VINCE,
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
208
00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:34,269
HOW ABOUT YOU STOP
CALLING MY KID "THE JEWELER?"
209
00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:38,316
- HOW ABOUT YOU STOP BEING UGLY?
- WHAT ARE YOU, FIVE?
210
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:42,059
- I'M FIVE.
- [mimicking Janie] I'M FIVE.
211
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:44,018
- WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
- I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM.
212
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:47,674
BUT YOU WILL ON SATURDAY.
OH, SNAP!
213
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:50,328
WELL, YOUR TEAM IS GOING DOWN
ON SATURDAY! CRACKLE!
214
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:53,941
AND POP!
215
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:57,074
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE
MAKE IT INTERESTING, TV BOY?
216
00:09:57,205 --> 00:10:00,861
WHAT DO YOU GOT IN MIND,
PROBABLY-BALD-UNDER-THE-CAP BOY?
217
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:03,733
THE LOSER DOES THE WINNER'S
GROCERY SHOPPING FOR ONE MONTH.
218
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,779
- MAKE IT TWO MONTHS!
- BRING IT!
219
00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:08,085
IT'S BRUNG.
220
00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:11,219
UH-OH.
221
00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:13,221
DOUBLE SCOOP OF ICE CREAM
IF YOU DON'T TELL MOMMY.
222
00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:16,398
- DEAL.
- OKAY.
223
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:21,359
ONE DAY BEFORE
YOUR PROJECT'S DUE
224
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,883
AND YOU HAVEN'T
STARTED IT YET.
225
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:24,798
I'VE STARTED IT,
I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO END IT.
226
00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,451
BY THIS POINT,
MOM SHOULD'VE PUNISHED ME!
227
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,323
SOMETHING IS MESSING
WITH HER HEAD.
228
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:31,718
AND I THINK I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
IT'S MY DAD.
229
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:34,895
I'M GOING TO HAVE
TO DIAL THIS UP A NOTCH.
230
00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:36,374
LADIES...
231
00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:37,506
I SEE YOU'RE PUTTING
YOUR PSYCHOLOGY BINDER TO USE.
232
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:42,424
YES, AND IT'S
COMING IN HANDY.
233
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:45,122
LET IT GO.
234
00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:46,080
HER PROJECT'S DUE IN ONE DAY
AND YOU'RE TELLING ME
235
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,517
TO LET IT GO?
236
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,172
SHE'S LITERALLY
WATCHING PAINT DRY.
237
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:54,392
[cell phone rings]
238
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,699
OH, HONEY TAKE THIS, PLEASE.
TAKE THAT.
239
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:59,397
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
240
00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:01,486
YEAH, HELLO, MRS. WEITZMAN.
HANG ON A SEC PLEASE.
241
00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:04,141
THANKS FOR CALLING ME BACK.
242
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:07,188
[thuds]
243
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:10,321
MRS. WEITZMAN, THE REASON
I'M CALLING YOU IS BECAUSE, UM,
244
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,280
I WAS THINKING OF ADDING
A COUPLE OF EXTRA PRACTICES
245
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:13,803
THIS WEEK AND I WANTED
TO KNOW IF YOU WOULD CONSIDER
246
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:17,633
LETTING JONAH
MISS HEBREW SCHOOL.
247
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,287
YES, I DO THINK YOUR PEOPLE
HAVE ALREADY SUFFERED ENOUGH,
248
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:21,768
MRS. WEITZMAN.
249
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:24,118
LOOK, I WOULD NOT
PUSH YOUR SON ANY HARDER
250
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,597
THAN I WOULD PUSH MINE.
251
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:26,686
RISE AND SHINE, JOE.
252
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:27,687
[bugle music]
253
00:11:27,817 --> 00:11:30,211
AAH!
254
00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:33,518
AS LONG AS YOU'RE DOWN THERE,
GIVE ME 20.
255
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:36,913
THERE'S A 20 IN MY WALLET.
JUST TAKE IT.
256
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,916
[Bizet's {\an8}Carmen Overture]
257
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:47,750
♪
258
00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:12,340
GREAT PRACTICE, KIDDO.
GO HIT THE SHOWERS.
259
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:14,168
THANKS, DAD.
260
00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:15,169
I REALLY THINK WE'RE BECOMING
A WELL-OILED MACHINE.
261
00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:17,693
[clattering]
262
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,260
I GOT IT, JOE. GO, GO.
263
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,044
ABSOLUTELY, MRS. WEITZMAN,
264
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:25,005
A SIX-HOUR PRACTICE
DOES SEEM EXCESSIVE.
265
00:12:25,135 --> 00:12:28,835
YES, I DO THINK YOUR PEOPLE
HAVE SUFFERED ENOUGH, JU--
266
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:31,141
OY.
267
00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:33,013
A SIX HOUR PRACTICE WITH
A BUNCH OF TEN-YEAR-OLDS?
268
00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:34,971
DAVID, YOU PROMISED ME YOU
WEREN'T GONNA LET THIS HAPPEN.
269
00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:37,321
I KNOW I PROMISED, HONEY,
BUT IT WASN'T MY FAULT.
270
00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:39,454
I RAN INTO THIS GUY NAMED VINCE,
WHO'S COACHING THE OTHER TEAM
271
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:42,762
ON SATURDAY WHO, BY THE WAY,
CALLS JOE "THE JEWELER."
272
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:45,242
AND I GOT MAD
AND I MADE A BET.
273
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:48,506
AW, COME ON, JUST BECAUSE
HE CALLED JOE A NAME?
274
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:52,815
DAVID, DID YOU LEARN NOTHING
FROM YOUR MUCH-BELOVED EPISODE,
275
00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:57,080
"MOST VALUABLE DAD?"
276
00:12:57,211 --> 00:13:00,910
KYLE, THIS GAME
IS FOR ALL THE MARBLES...
277
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,651
LITERALLY.
278
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,828
IF WE LOSE,
THE OTHER TEAM GETS THESE.
279
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:11,442
NOW KYLE, IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT HAPPENS OUT THERE TODAY,
280
00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:14,619
AS LONG AS YOU TRY YOUR BEST,
GIVE IT YOUR ALL,
281
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:18,101
AND PLAY WITH PRIDE, OKAY?
282
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:20,930
'CAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER
IF YOU WIN OR LOSE,
283
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:23,063
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY CHAMP.
284
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:24,194
[audience aaws]
285
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:27,284
[dings]
286
00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:30,897
I REMEMBER IT WELL.
I NAILED THAT SCENE.
287
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,855
BUT I ALSO REMEMBER
THAT IN REAL LIFE,
288
00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:34,422
ALL THE MARBLES MEANS
I'VE GOTTA GO SHOPPING
289
00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:37,425
FOR SOME GUYS' GROCERIES, HONEY,
AND I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
290
00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:39,688
I'LL BE BACK LATER.
291
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,559
I'M GONNA GO
HELP MARY WASH HER CAT.
292
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:44,519
OKAY.
293
00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:46,826
YOU DO REALIZE THAT MY
PROJECT'S DUE TOMORROW, RIGHT?
294
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:51,656
- WE DO.
- [breathing rapidly]
295
00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:53,658
AND THAT MARY DOESN'T
HAVE A CAT?
296
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,356
YEP.
297
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:59,142
SO, MOM, YOU'RE OKAY WITH ME
GOING OUT AT 10:00 AT NIGHT
298
00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:00,840
WHEN MY PROJECT'S
DUE TOMORROW MORNING,
299
00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:03,364
TO HELP MARY WASH
A CAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE?
300
00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:05,018
[choking] I'M COOL.
301
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:07,107
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
WITH MY MOTHER?
302
00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:10,327
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT
IS TO PROCRASTINATE LIKE THIS?
303
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:11,981
- WAIT, SO THIS WHOLE TIME--
- YES!
304
00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:13,026
- AND YOU NEVER--
- NO.
305
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:14,027
- AND YOU WERE HOPING--
- YES.
306
00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:15,202
- BUT YOUR PAPER--
- UH-HUH.
307
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,420
- [gasps] BUT YOUR FATHER--
- I KNEW IT!
308
00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:19,075
[gasps] YOU ARE SO GROUNDED,
YOUNG LADY.
309
00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:21,295
- THANK YOU, MOMMY.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
310
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:24,428
JUST TO BE CLEAR, BECAUSE
I DON'T SPEAK WHATEVER THAT WAS,
311
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:28,215
UM, THIS IS ALL MY FAULT
312
00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:31,566
BUT SHE'S GOING
TO FINISH HER PAPER ANYWAY.
313
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:34,438
YES.
314
00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:37,398
YOU'RE WELCOME.
315
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:40,140
ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WE'RE DOWN
BY ONE, WE GOTTA HOLD 'EM HERE.
316
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:41,228
[bat clinks]
317
00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:42,969
YES! GOOD CATCH.
THAT'S TWO, BOYS!
318
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,754
ALL RIGHT, TAKE TWO, BOYS!
TAKE TWO!
319
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:50,193
TWO OUT, KEVIN. OUT.
320
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:55,503
NO, KEVIN.
KEVIN, KEVIN. STAY.
321
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:57,461
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO, BATTER.
HIT IT TO THE JEWELER.
322
00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:59,681
TO THE JEWELER!
323
00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,639
- STILL NOT CLEVER.
- OH, THAT REMINDS ME.
324
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:04,729
I CAUGHT AN EPISODE OF YOUR
LITTLE TV SHOW LAST NIGHT...
325
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:07,167
AND YOU OWE ME A HALF-HOUR
OF MY LIFE BACK.
326
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:08,733
BOOM!
327
00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:10,300
[bat clinks]
328
00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:11,258
YES! OH, NO! NO! JOE!
329
00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:12,433
HERE IT COMES, JOEY!
HERE IT COMES, JOE!
330
00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:13,782
GET THE BALL, JOE.
THROW THE BALL, JOE.
331
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,653
NOT THE ROCK, JOE.
THROW THE BALL, NOT THE ROCK!
332
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,568
- YOU'RE OUT!
- YES!
333
00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:19,266
- HE THREW THE ROCK!
- SAFE!
334
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:22,051
- NO!
- YEAH!
335
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:26,012
OKAY, HERE WE GO, HAWKS!
LET'S GO, JOE!
336
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:30,146
C'MON, JASPER!
LET'S GO, CYCLONES!
337
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:32,192
IT'S A CLOSE GAME, HUH?
338
00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:34,542
YEAH, I'M PRETTY
IMPRESSED WITH YOUR TEAM.
339
00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,761
WELL, MY HUSBAND'S
THE NEW COACH.
340
00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:39,460
- AH, FUNNY, MINE'S OUR COACH.
- OH.
341
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:40,678
[laughter]
342
00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:43,072
- OH, THAT IS FUNNY.
- [laughs] YEAH.
343
00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:44,552
[chuckles]
344
00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:47,424
GUYS, ONE TO TIE, TWO TO WIN.
ONE TO TIE, TWO TO WIN.
345
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:50,427
WE'RE DOWN TO OUR LAST AT-BATS
AND OUR LAST INHALER.
346
00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:54,475
SO I NEED EVERYBODY TO PLAY HARD
AND BREATHE SHALLOW.
347
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:58,522
SO APPARENTLY YOUR HUSBAND
HAS A NICKNAME FOR MY SON,
348
00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,002
"THE JEWELER."
349
00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:02,613
[laughs] ACTUALLY
I CAME UP WITH THAT.
350
00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:03,919
- OH, REALLY?
- YEAH.
351
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:04,833
- OH, THAT WAS YOU?
- YEAH.
352
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,443
CLEVER.
353
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:07,792
YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, HE IS
KIND OF A NERD WITH HIS ROCKS.
354
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:11,100
- OH, YEAH.
- [mimicking Joe] "OOH, QUARTZ."
355
00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:13,276
- WHAT ARE YOU, FIVE?
- I'M FIVE.
356
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:16,976
- [mimicking Janie] "I'M FIVE."
- WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
357
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:19,108
HEY, WE'RE ALL
HAVING GOOD FUN HERE, HUH?
358
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:22,459
HEY, JEWELER!
YOU'RE A 24-CARAT LOSER!
359
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:24,592
[laughs]
360
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:27,160
OH, WOW! SO WE'RE
HAVING FUN, HUH?
361
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:32,165
OKAY, WELL, HERE'S
A FUN NICKNAME FOR YOUR SON.
362
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:34,863
- POOPIE PANTS?
- "POOPIE PANTS." I LIKE IT.
363
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,343
BOOM!
364
00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:38,258
YEAH! WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THAT, HUH?
365
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:42,305
WHOO, POOPIE PANTS!
YEAH, POOPIE PANTS!
366
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:45,134
OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT,
JASPER, I'M TALKING TO YOU!
367
00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:48,659
THERE'S A REASON THEY
GAVE YOUR JERSEY NUMBER TWO!
368
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:50,009
[cheers and applause]
369
00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:51,445
[bat clinks]
370
00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:55,188
YES, YES!
[overlapping shouts]
371
00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:57,581
ALL RIGHT, WE'VE GOT
A MAN ON FIRST.
372
00:16:57,712 --> 00:16:59,018
♪ WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT
373
00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:00,280
♪ WHAT'S THAT
IN YOUR PANTS? ♪
374
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,064
♪ IS IT POOPIE,
POOPIE PANTS? ♪
375
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:04,153
[bat clinks]
376
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:06,982
- HE'S OUT!
- IT'S OKAY.
377
00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:08,244
IT'S ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
378
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,159
IT'S OKAY, WE'RE DOWN
TO OUR LAST OUT.
379
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,727
WHO'S UP?
- UH, IT'S JOE.
380
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:16,165
[gasps]
YOUR SON.
381
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:18,298
THANK YOU, KEVIN.
382
00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:21,910
YOU CAN'T WRITE THIS STUFF.
I'M TINGLING.
383
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,739
GIMME A "P"!
GIMME AN "OOPIE!"
384
00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:26,219
WHAT'S THAT SPELL?
385
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:27,655
HONEY, HONEY
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
386
00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:29,613
TAKE THEM DOWN, DAVID.
TAKE THEM DOWN.
387
00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:32,268
MY HUSBAND'S NOT DOING
YOUR SHOPPING, MISTER!
388
00:17:32,399 --> 00:17:34,053
AMY, I THINK YOU'RE
GETTING A LITTLE OUT OF HAND.
389
00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:35,532
all: [chanting]
♪ WHAT'S THAT IN 'YO PANTS?
390
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,665
♪ IS IT POOPIE, POOPIE PANTS?
WHAT? ♪
391
00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:39,014
♪ WHAT'S THAT IN YO PANTS?
392
00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:40,755
♪ IS IT POOPIE,
POOPIE PANTS? ♪
393
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:44,498
- SO ARE THE KIDS.
- WHAT, WHAT, WHAT-WHAT-WHAT!
394
00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:45,586
all: [chanting]
♪ WHAT'S THAT IN 'YO PANTS?
395
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:47,327
♪ IS IT POOPIE, POOPIE PANTS?
396
00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:50,373
GUYS, GUYS.
ENOUGH WITH THE POOPIE, OKAY?
397
00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:52,201
UM...
398
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:54,073
I JUST WANT TO TELL
YOU ALL SOMETHING.
399
00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:55,813
[heartwarming music]
400
00:17:55,944 --> 00:17:59,252
IN THE FOUR DAYS
THAT I'VE BEEN YOUR COACH,
401
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:01,819
I HAVE NEVER
BEEN MORE PROUD. REALLY.
402
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:04,953
AND LOOK, IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT HAPPENS OUT HERE.
403
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,216
AS LONG AS YOU
PLAYED WITH PRIDE
404
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:10,393
AND HAD SOME CLASS
AND DIGNITY,
405
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:13,657
IT DOESN'T MATTER
IF YOU WIN OR LOSE.
406
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:17,313
IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY CHAMPS.
407
00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:19,881
all: AAW!
408
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:22,144
THAT'S A GIANT LOAD
OF BULL POOPIE, DAD.
409
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:23,798
[heartwarming music stops]
410
00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:26,061
YOU BECAME OUR COACH TO TURN US
INTO WINNERS AND I WANT TO WIN.
411
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:28,542
- JOE, IT'S OKAY.
- NO, IT'S NOT OKAY!
412
00:18:28,672 --> 00:18:31,936
GENTLEMEN, I TELL YOU THIS,
I DID NOT STRUGGLE
413
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:36,941
TO DO A PUSH-UP--IN THE DARK,
OF WHICH I AM SCARED--
414
00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:40,162
TO WALK OFF THIS FIELD
HOLDING A LOSER'S CUPCAKE.
415
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:43,557
I'M NOT A QUITTER, BUT A MAN
HAS GOT TO KNOW HIS LIMITATIONS.
416
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:47,126
YOU WANT ME ON THAT BENCH.
YOU NEED ME ON THAT BENCH.
417
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:49,476
I CAN'T BENCH YOU
FOR NO REASON.
418
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:50,955
DAD, I UNDERSTAND.
419
00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:53,871
AND I WOULD NEVER
PUT YOU IN THAT POSITION.
420
00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:58,615
OH, MY TIBIA!
SHE'S A-BROKEN!
421
00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:03,054
IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?
422
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:04,621
ON THE SITTING OUT PART, YES.
423
00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:09,496
BUT I'M ABOUT 50-50
ON WHERE MY TIBIA IS.
424
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:13,369
OH, NO! MY SON'S GOOD TIBIA!
KEVIN, WE NEED A PINCH HITTER.
425
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,328
- UH, PINCH HIT--
- UNDERSTUDY.
426
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:19,984
- OH, WELL, IT IS 6:15.
- WEITZMAN.
427
00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:22,987
[dramatic music]
428
00:19:23,118 --> 00:19:24,815
♪
429
00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:27,992
WEITZMAN.
430
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:31,213
OUR TEAM HAS SUFFERED ENOUGH.
431
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:33,346
NOW GET IN THERE
AND LET'S WIN THIS THING!
432
00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,130
COME ON!
433
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:36,653
[bat clinks]
434
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:38,438
all: MAZEL TOV!
435
00:19:38,568 --> 00:19:41,484
[wild cheers]
436
00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,225
[dramatic male narrator]
WITHOUT EVER SWINGING A BAT,
437
00:19:43,356 --> 00:19:44,618
OR RUNNING THE BASES,
438
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:47,098
YOUNG JOE HOBBS WENT ON TO LEAD
HIS TEAM TO VICTORY
439
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,013
THAT AFTERNOON.
440
00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,059
AND SOMEHOW,
THE CUPCAKES DID TASTE
441
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,018
JUST A LITTLE SWEETER
THAT DAY.
442
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:56,238
AS FOR DAVID HOBBS,
WHILE HE NEVER WENT ON
443
00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:59,415
TO COACH ANOTHER
LITTLE LEAGUE GAME,
444
00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:03,332
HE DID PROVE HIMSELF
TO BE THE MOST VALUABLE DAD.
445
00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:09,295
[thuds]
446
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:11,819
DAVID HOBBS ALSO
TOOK GREAT PLEASURE
447
00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:16,302
IN MAKING ANOTHER MAN SHOP
FOR HIS WIFE'S MOMMY THINGS.
448
00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:18,173
WOULD YOU
SHUT THIS GUY UP?
449
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:20,219
YEAH, KEVIN,
THAT'S ENOUGH.
450
00:20:20,349 --> 00:20:23,700
[dramatic male narrator]
WHATEVER YOU SAY, DAVID.
451
00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:25,746
YOU GOTTA ADMIT,
HE'S GOOD.
452
00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:28,052
YEAH.
453
00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:32,970
OH!
454
00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:36,235
OH, IS THAT THE WAY WE'RE
GOING TO PLAY IT, KARDASHIAN?
455
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:38,062
IT'S GO TIME.
456
00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:40,500
WHAT WAS THAT, SEACREST?
YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?