1
00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:12,925
BABY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
2
00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:15,493
BESIDES PUTTING YOUR BOOTS
ON THE WRONG FEET.
3
00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:17,495
I'M GETTING READY
FOR THE SNOW.
4
00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:20,933
IN THE MOVIES, IT ALWAYS
SNOWS ON CHRISTMAS EVE.
5
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:23,675
UGH, AGAIN?
WE LIVE IN L.A.
6
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:27,375
DON'T YOU REMEMBER
YOU DID THIS LAST YEAR?
7
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:28,506
I'M A KID.
8
00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:31,422
I DON'T REMEMBER
WHAT I DID YESTERDAY.
9
00:00:31,553 --> 00:00:33,990
[crying]
10
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:36,862
IT WOULDN'T BE THE HOLIDAYS
WITHOUT SOMEBODY CRYING.
11
00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:39,865
DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BE YOU.
HONEY, WHAT'S UP?
12
00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:43,434
[sobbing incoherently]
13
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:45,393
BILL CALLED YOU
INTO WORK TODAY?
14
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,003
YOU HATE THAT DIRECTOR.
15
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,526
[crying, mumbling]
16
00:00:48,657 --> 00:00:52,748
YES, I KNOW, MOM.
HATE IS A STRONG WORD.
17
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,054
DAVID, I'M GOING
TO MISS OUT
18
00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:56,360
ON ALL OF
THE CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS.
19
00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:59,320
JUST TRIMMING THE TREE
AND LETTERS TO SANTA
20
00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:01,713
AND YOU FORCING US TO WATCH
YOUR SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EPISODE,
21
00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:04,890
"SEE DAD GET SCROOGED."
22
00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:06,327
DON'T WORRY, MOM.
23
00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:07,850
WE'LL WAIT TO TRIM THE TREE
UNTIL YOU GET HOME.
24
00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:10,113
AND FORGET ABOUT MY LETTER
TO SANTA THIS YEAR.
25
00:01:10,244 --> 00:01:11,506
I'M TOO OLD FOR THAT.
26
00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:14,900
[sobs]
27
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:17,468
AMY, IT'S GOING
TO BE FINE, OKAY?
28
00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:18,817
IT'LL BE EVEN BETTER
29
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:21,472
IF YOU STOP CLUTCHING A TRAY
OF STINKY POTATOES.
30
00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:24,736
WHY ARE YOU CLUTCHING A TRAY
OF STINKY POTATOES?
31
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:27,565
[sobs unintelligibly]
32
00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:29,132
EMILY?
33
00:01:29,263 --> 00:01:32,918
YESTERDAY, WHEN SHE WAS
UNLOADING GROCERIES,
34
00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:34,920
SHE LEFT THEM
IN THE CAR.
35
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,313
SO SAY GOODBYE
TO OUR TRADITIONAL
36
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:40,100
CHEESY SCALLOPED POTATOES
AS WELL, DAVID.
37
00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:47,324
I'LL JUST GET
SOME MORE POTATOES.
38
00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:51,241
NO, THEY ONLY SELL THEM
AT COST CLUB.
39
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:53,504
SO I'LL GO
TO COST CLUB, HONEY.
40
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:56,594
[laughs]
41
00:01:56,725 --> 00:01:57,943
HEY--
42
00:01:58,074 --> 00:01:59,815
COST CLUB
ON CHRISTMAS EVE.
43
00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:02,557
HONEY, YOU'LL NEVER
GET OUT OF THERE ALIVE.
44
00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:05,647
PLEASE, I'LL BE IN AND OUT
IN 30 MINUTES.
45
00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:08,519
[laughing]
30 MINUTES.
46
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:10,869
NOW YOU'RE HYSTERICAL.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
47
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,915
WHY DON'T YOU SAVE
ALL THAT ENERGY AND EMOTION
48
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:14,177
FOR--FOR THE SHOW, OKAY?
49
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:16,527
THE KIDS AND I,
WE WILL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.
50
00:02:16,658 --> 00:02:18,529
RIGHT, KIDS?
- ABSOLUTELY.
51
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,662
30 MINUTES.
30 MINUTES.
52
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:24,361
- OKAY.
- I CAN'T BREATHE.
53
00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,450
- MERRY CHRISTMAS.
- HEY, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
54
00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:28,409
WHY CAN'T AMY BREATHE?
55
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,802
WELL, I TOLD HER I WAS GONNA
MAKE A QUICK STOP AT COST CLUB.
56
00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:34,284
both: [laughing]
57
00:02:34,415 --> 00:02:35,677
WHY DOES EVERYBODY
KEEP DOING THAT?
58
00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:38,070
OH, FIRST OF ALL,
DAVID, YOU'RE FAMOUS.
59
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:39,246
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET
MORE THAN TWO FEET
60
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,682
IN THE DOOR
WITHOUT BEING RECOGNIZED.
61
00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:43,641
TWO, YOU HAVE THREE CHILDREN
AND ONLY TWO ARMS,
62
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:46,644
AND THAT MATH
DOESN'T ADD UP.
63
00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:47,776
AND THIRD, YOU YOURSELF
64
00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:49,343
HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN
OF A SMALL CHILD.
65
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:50,648
ALL RIGHT, FIRST OF ALL,
66
00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:52,084
I'M GOING TO USE MY CELEBRITY
TO MY ADVANTAGE.
67
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:53,608
SECOND OF ALL,
I CAN HANDLE MY KIDS.
68
00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:55,740
AND THIRD--
69
00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:58,352
WHAT WAS THE THIRD THING?
I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION.
70
00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:00,267
DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU GUYS IN OR OUT?
71
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,790
TO WATCH YOU
HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN
72
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,575
AS I ENJOY A CORNUCOPIA
OF FREE FOOD SAMPLES?
73
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:06,273
IT'LL BE LIKE
DINNER AND A SHOW.
74
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:08,840
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL DRIVE ON THIS ONE.
75
00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:14,150
ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
HERE'S THE PLAN.
76
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:15,760
WE'RE GOING TO SAVE CHRISTMAS
FOR YOUR MOTHER.
77
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,240
WE'RE GOING TO GET IN,
WE'RE GOING TO GET OUT.
78
00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:19,329
NO DIVERSIONS,
NO DISTRACTIONS, OKAY?
79
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:22,202
- I SMELL PIZZA.
- I SEE TOYS.
80
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:23,725
- NEXT TO PINK CELL PHONES.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
81
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:27,381
WE HAD A--WE HAD A PLAN, GUYS.
IN AND OUT.
82
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,818
NOW YOU KNOW
WHY WE WERE LAUGHING.
83
00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:32,560
OOH, POTSTICKERS.
84
00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:37,521
[upbeat music]
85
00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:45,660
♪
86
00:03:57,759 --> 00:04:00,065
YES, UH,
EXCUSE ME, SIR, I--
87
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:04,548
OH, MY GOODNESS,
YOU'RE DAVID HOBBS.
88
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:06,681
YES, I AM.
89
00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:07,856
UH, CAN I HELP YOU
FIND ANYTHING?
90
00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,292
YES, YOU CAN.
91
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,468
FOUND 'EM.
92
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:14,558
ANYTHING ELSE,
MR. HOBBS?
93
00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:15,907
NOW, YOU CAN'T BE
SNATCHING PEOPLE
94
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:19,781
UP OUT OF THE POTSTICKER LINE
LIKE THAT.
95
00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:21,652
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
HERE'S WHAT WE NEED.
96
00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:23,437
WE NEED THOSE CHEESY SCALLOPED
POTATOES THAT YOU SELL, OKAY?
97
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:24,916
THEY'RE MY WIFE'S
HOLIDAY FAVORITE.
98
00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:28,616
UH, WELL, THEY'RE EVERYBODY'S
FAVORITE DURING THE HOLIDAY.
99
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:30,879
IF THERE'S ANY LEFT, THEY'LL BE
IN THE REFRIGERATOR SECTION
100
00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,881
BEHIND AISLE 138.
101
00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:33,969
ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED,
JUST ASK FOR CARL.
102
00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:35,275
THANKS, CARL.
103
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:37,059
OKAY, UH--
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
104
00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:40,976
WE'VE GOT TO FIGURE OUT
WHICH WAY AISLE 138 IS.
105
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:45,633
OOH, THEY JUST TOOK THE BABY
QUICHE OUT OF THE MICROWAVE.
106
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,069
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
107
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,941
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
HOBBS FAMILY.
108
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,769
MERRY CHRISTMAS, SANTA.
109
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:52,944
[chuckles]
110
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:54,859
JOE, ARE YOU GOING
TO SAY HI TO SANTA?
111
00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:58,123
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE SANTA.
112
00:04:58,254 --> 00:05:02,040
MERRY CHRISTMAS, JOE.
113
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,999
JOE, THAT IS SANTA.
114
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:05,653
YEAH, RIGHT.
115
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,394
LIKE SANTA COMES TO COST CLUB
ON CHRISTMAS EVE.
116
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,091
COME ON, COME ON.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
117
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:11,006
WHAT'S UP WITH YOU?
118
00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:13,051
YOU TELL YOUR MOM
THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING
119
00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:14,357
TO WRITE A LETTER TO SANTA,
120
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:17,012
AND NOW HE'S JUST A GUY
THAT LOOKS LIKE SANTA?
121
00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:18,143
I WANT TO BELIEVE,
122
00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:20,058
BUT NONE OF MY FRIENDS
DO ANYMORE.
123
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:21,756
AND THEY'RE STARTING
TO MAKE FUN OF ME.
124
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:23,627
AND THEY BRING UP
A PRETTY GOOD ARGUMENT TOO,
125
00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:27,457
MAINLY ABOUT PHYSICS
AND TIME TRAVEL.
126
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:28,719
WELL, I BELIEVE, JOE.
127
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,548
WELL, I BELIEVE
WHATEVER DADDY BELIEVES.
128
00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:32,680
ALL RIGHT, ATTA GIRL.
LET'S DO THIS, COME ON.
129
00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,335
I BELIEVE THAT THIS
SUPER CUTE JACKET IS ON SALE.
130
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:36,945
WELL, UNLESS
THAT SUPER CUTE JACKET
131
00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:38,512
IS MADE OUT OF CHEESY
SCALLOPED POTATOES,
132
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,688
DON'T EVEN THINK OF
PUTTING IT IN THE CART.
133
00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:50,611
COLONEL, WHAT I'M ABOUT
TO TELL YOU MAY SOUND STRANGE.
134
00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,656
CUT.
135
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:56,051
AMY, YOU SOUND STRANGE.
136
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:57,444
OKAY, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.
137
00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:58,793
AND THIS TIME,
HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT.
138
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:00,882
AND ACTION.
139
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:06,148
- COLONEL--
- CUT.
140
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:09,891
OKAY, THE COLONEL STILL THINKS
THAT SARAH IS HYSTERICAL.
141
00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:12,067
SO I WANT TO PICK UP THE SCENE
WITH HIM SHAKING HER,
142
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,286
LIKE A BOBBLEHEAD.
143
00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:15,636
LIKE A WHAT?
144
00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,507
AND ACTION.
145
00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:20,989
SARAH, YOU'RE HYSTERICAL.
146
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:24,384
PLEASE, JAMES,
YOUR GRIP IS LIKE A VICE.
147
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,516
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
- CUT.
148
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:28,562
COLONEL, JUST KEEP
DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
149
00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:31,042
AMY, I'M GOING TO NEED YOU
TO VIOLENTLY SHAKE YOURSELF.
150
00:06:31,173 --> 00:06:33,262
AND ACTION.
151
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,090
SARAH, YOU'RE HYSTERICAL.
152
00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:48,669
THAT'S 139. 137.
153
00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:53,238
WHERE THE HECK
IS 138?
154
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:55,589
NICE.
155
00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,939
JOE?
JANIE, EMILY?
156
00:06:58,069 --> 00:07:01,551
FOR NARNIA!
157
00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:03,205
JOE, WHERE ARE YOUR SISTERS?
158
00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:05,163
DAD, GUESS WHAT
I JUST FOUND.
159
00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:06,948
- AISLE 138?
- BETTER.
160
00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,993
A BLENDER THAT CAN
BLEND ANYTHING.
161
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:10,299
THE LADY FINISHED
HER DEMONSTRATION
162
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:14,521
BY LIQUEFYING A SHOE.
163
00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,000
EMILY, I-I'D ACTUALLY LIKE
TO SEE THAT.
164
00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:18,960
BUT LOOK, WE JUST DON'T
HAVE THE TIME RIGHT NOW, OKAY?
165
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:22,137
PUT IT IN THE CART, 'CAUSE I'VE
GOT SOME OLD SHOES AT THE HOUSE.
166
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:23,355
COME ON, JANE, LET'S GO.
IT'S TIME TO GO.
167
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:27,098
[heavenly choir sings]
168
00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:31,842
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING
MORE BEAUTIFUL IN YOUR LIFE?
169
00:07:31,973 --> 00:07:35,280
IT'S BREATHTAKING,
BUT WE'VE GOTTA GO.
170
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:37,413
DADDY, WE CAN'T
LEAVE HER HERE ON CHRISTMAS.
171
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,110
LOOK, SHE'S TRYING TO ESCAPE.
172
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:41,069
YES, I UNDERSTAND THAT.
173
00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:43,114
JANIE, I'M TRYING
TO ESCAPE, TOO,
174
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:45,465
WITH SOME CHEESY SCALLOPED
POTATOES AND MY SANITY, OKAY?
175
00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:46,466
LET'S GO.
176
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:49,425
- HANG IN THERE.
- OKAY.
177
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,688
DAVID, YOU GOTTA TRY
THIS KRAB WITH A "K".
178
00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:54,648
COME ON, WILL YOU STOP THAT?
OH--
179
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,693
WOW.
180
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:59,870
[mumbles]
- PUT IT IN THERE?
181
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:05,485
HERE WE ARE.
CHEESY SCALLOPED POTATOES.
182
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:07,312
WOULD, UH, YOU LIKE
ANOTHER CART?
183
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:08,879
NO, WE ARE DONE
WITH THE ENDLESS TEMPTATIONS
184
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:12,230
OF THIS MONEY TRAP, CARL.
GOOD DAY, SIR.
185
00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:13,362
YOUR CHEESY POTATOES?
186
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:18,498
I SAID, GOOD--
187
00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:19,890
HEY, LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND.
188
00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:22,066
HEY, IS THAT ONE OF
THOSE 1,000 PIECE TOOL SETS
189
00:08:22,197 --> 00:08:23,067
AS ADVERTISED ON TELEVISION?
190
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:25,026
I WANT ONE.
191
00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,985
WHAT DO YOU TWO NEED
WITH A 1,000 PIECE TOOL SET?
192
00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:30,292
NEITHER ONE OF YOU HAS EVER
FIXED A THING IN YOUR LIFE.
193
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:34,601
MAYBE BECAUSE WE NEVER HAD
A 1,000 PIECE TOOL SET, EMILY.
194
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:36,733
KIDS, QUICK STOP, AISLE 93.
LET'S GO.
195
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:45,133
[heavenly choir sings]
196
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:50,355
THIS MUST BE AISLE HEAVEN.
197
00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:57,232
CHUNKS, THIS IS ONE
SAD DISPLAY OF HOLIDAY CHEER.
198
00:08:57,362 --> 00:08:59,539
ALMOST AS SAD AS ME,
ALONE ON CHRISTMAS EVE,
199
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:03,455
TALKING TO A STUFFED MONKEY,
RIGHT?
200
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:06,589
DON'T ANSWER THAT.
201
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:11,725
DO THESE EVEN WORK?
202
00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:20,951
NO.
203
00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:22,562
MAN, I WISH I COULD MAKE THIS
SPECIAL FOR THE FAMILY.
204
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:25,521
BUT HOW?
205
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:27,131
[light dings]
206
00:09:27,262 --> 00:09:28,568
I GOT IT.
207
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:37,185
YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING
MORE BEAUTIFUL IN YOUR LIFE?
208
00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:40,492
DAD, YOU NEED
TO LOOK AWAY.
209
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:45,541
I CAN'T.
210
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,891
DAD, DAD.
SNAP OUT OF IT.
211
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:49,589
YES.
YES, OKAY.
212
00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:50,633
YES, EMILY.
I'M SORRY.
213
00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:53,114
I-I GOT LOST IN MY EYES.
214
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,246
- DAVID HOBBS.
- HI.
215
00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:56,900
I KNEW IT WAS YOU.
216
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:59,033
HEY, EVERYBODY!
DAVID HOBBS IS HERE!
217
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,121
UH-OH.
218
00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,122
HI.
219
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:02,123
[crowd chattering]
220
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:03,994
WHERE IS MARCUS?
221
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:05,474
I JUST TEXTED HIM.
222
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:10,000
HE'S IN FOOTWEAR,
CHECKING OUT KUGG BOOTS.
223
00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:13,482
I'M GLAD YOU TEXTED ME.
AM I PULLING THESE OFF?
224
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,918
NO.
225
00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:17,312
PULL THEM OFF.
226
00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:20,097
FOLKS, LET'S GIVE MR. HOBBS
A CHANCE TO FINISH SHOPPING
227
00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:21,272
AND GO HOME
TO HIS FAMILY.
228
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:22,578
[crowd protests]
229
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:23,492
THANK YOU,
AND MERRY CHRISTMAS.
230
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,536
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
231
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,495
THANK YOU,
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
232
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,193
- BYE, NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
233
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,239
YOU'RE VERY KIND
TO YOUR FANS, MR. HOBBS.
234
00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:33,633
LET ME OPEN A CHECKOUT LANE
JUST FOR YOU.
235
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:36,070
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.
236
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,332
OH, MAN.
THOSE ARE SWEET.
237
00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:38,855
YOU LIKE THEM?
238
00:10:38,986 --> 00:10:40,552
IT FEELS LIKE I'M WALKING
IN A MEADOW.
239
00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:44,034
MAN, I LOVE THEM.
240
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:48,473
WAIT A MINUTE,
I WANT TO WALK IN A MEADOW.
241
00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:51,041
GUYS, I WANT TO THANK YOU.
CARL--REALLY.
242
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:52,434
YOU'VE BEEN A HUGE HELP.
243
00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:53,783
MY PLEASURE, MR. HOBBS.
244
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:54,784
AND MIGHT I SAY,
YOU AND YOUR FRIEND
245
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:56,786
ARE REALLY
PULLING THOSE OFF.
246
00:10:56,917 --> 00:11:00,181
[both cheer]
247
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:03,271
DID YOU HEAR THE MAN?
248
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,839
COULD I BE SO BOLD
AS TO ASK FOR A PICTURE?
249
00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:08,537
ME AND YOU?
ABSOLUTELY, CARL, COME ON.
250
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,321
HERE, JOE,
HOLD THAT FOR A SEC.
251
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:14,325
AND YOU GOT THE, UH, PHONE.
BEAUTIFUL, OKAY.
252
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:15,587
READY?
253
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:19,635
AND--
COOL.
254
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:21,245
GOOD ONE?
ALL RIGHT, TAKE A LOOK, CARL.
255
00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:23,247
- YEAH.
- HAPPY? EXCELLENT.
256
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:24,248
ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU LATER.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
257
00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:26,729
[phone ringing]
258
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:28,339
OH, IT'S MOM.
HEY, HONEY.
259
00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:30,080
GUESS WHERE I AM.
260
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:31,473
WELL, I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.
261
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:33,518
I'VE GOT CHEESY POTATOES,
A 1,000 PIECE TOOL SET,
262
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:37,261
AND A PAIR OF KUGG BOOTS.
263
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:40,090
I'M GOING TO WEAR THEM
WHEN I FIX THINGS.
264
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:50,013
[all singing {\an8}Jingle Bells]
265
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:52,276
- HEY.
- OH, HEY.
266
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:53,756
ALL RIGHT, HEY.
267
00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:55,932
KEVIN, WHY ARE YOU
SO SWEATY?
268
00:11:56,063 --> 00:12:00,154
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN ANXIOUSLY
ANTICIPATING YOUR RETURN.
269
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:01,546
THAT MAKES SENSE.
ALL RIGHT.
270
00:12:01,677 --> 00:12:02,678
GUYS, I TALKED
TO YOUR MOTHER.
271
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:03,679
SHE'S RUNNING
A LITTLE BIT LATE.
272
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:05,376
THAT GIVES US
PLENTY OF TIME
273
00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:08,858
TO GET THESE POTATOES
IN THE OVEN, OKAY?
274
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,730
POTATOES, POTATOES.
275
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:11,818
WHERE ARE THE POTATOES?
276
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:17,606
ARE THEY IN THERE, MARCUS?
277
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,216
WHERE ARE THE POTATOES?
278
00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:23,394
JOE, I HANDED THEM
TO YOU AT THE EXIT, RIGHT?
279
00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:26,920
BUT I HAD TO TAKE THE PICTURE,
SO I HANDED THEM TO JANIE.
280
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:30,401
UNLESS YOU HAND ME CANDY,
I'M PUTTING IT DOWN.
281
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:36,494
SO WE HAVE NO POTATOES?
282
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:40,368
I GOT A POCKET
FULL OF POTSTICKERS, THOUGH.
283
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,587
THREE HOURS AT COST CLUB,
AND ALL I HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT
284
00:12:42,718 --> 00:12:47,331
IS A WALK IN A MEADOW
WITH A 1,000 PIECE TOOL SET.
285
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:50,073
[cries unintelligibly]
286
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:53,424
SORRY, GUYS.
I DON'T SPEAK DAD.
287
00:12:53,555 --> 00:12:55,426
I'M FLUENT.
288
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,080
[distressed mumbling]
289
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:59,126
- "THAT'S IT."
- [mumbles]
290
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:00,431
- "I TRIED."
- [mumbles]
291
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:01,911
- "I FAILED."
- [mumbles]
292
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:03,783
"I CAN'T BELIEVE
I LET YOUR MOTHER DOWN
293
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:08,744
ON CHRISTMAS EVE."
294
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:11,573
COME ON, DAD.
295
00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:13,662
IT'S NOT ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT.
296
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,707
WE DIDN'T EXACTLY
HELP YOU AT COST CLUB.
297
00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:16,926
WE CAN DO BETTER.
298
00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:19,537
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE CAN DO BETTER.
299
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:20,843
WE CAN.
WE CAN DO BETTER.
300
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:22,845
WE--WE CAN SAVE CHRISTMAS
FOR YOUR MOTHER.
301
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,238
WE'RE HOBBS.
WE'RE NOT QUITTERS.
302
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:25,326
WELL, I'M A BARNES,
303
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:26,806
AND I COME FROM
A LONG LINE OF QUITTERS.
304
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,633
AND I QUIT.
305
00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:32,289
AND I'MA TAKE MY TUB
OF K-RAB WITH ME, OKAY?
306
00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:34,422
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY.
HEY, HEY.
307
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,428
DAD, COME ON.
IT'LL WORK.
308
00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:45,128
EMILY, THERE IS NO WAY.
309
00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:46,564
THIS MIGHT WORK
FOR SUPERMAN,
310
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:49,263
BUT GLASSES AND A MUSTACHE
DON'T MAKE A DISGUISE.
311
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:52,005
WHERE'S DADDY?
WHERE'S DADDY?
312
00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:55,269
JANIE, IT'S ME.
313
00:13:55,399 --> 00:13:59,186
HOW DOES THIS STRANGER
KNOW MY NAME?
314
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,187
BABY.
315
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:02,102
OH.
316
00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:05,192
LOOK, IT'S DAVID HOBBS
IN A MUSTACHE.
317
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,194
WOW, I'M SUCH A FAN.
318
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:08,325
[crowd clamoring]
319
00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:09,849
- PLAN "B"! PLAN "B"!
- ON IT.
320
00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:13,026
LOOK!
THERE GOES HONEY BOO BOO!
321
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,506
[crowd screaming]
322
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:23,123
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
323
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,341
THE GLASSES AND HAT
WERE WORKING.
324
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:26,169
ALL RIGHT.
325
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:29,738
LET'S DO IT AGAIN.
326
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,958
AND ACTION.
327
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:36,963
SARAH, YOU'RE HYSTERICAL.
328
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:38,355
YEAH, NO, THE WATER'S
NOT READING.
329
00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:39,574
WE NEED TO GO BIGGER.
330
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:40,401
WAIT, WAIT.
JUST, UH--JUST A SEC--
331
00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:45,885
AND ACTION.
332
00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:47,321
YEAH.
333
00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:48,409
STILL NOT READING.
334
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:50,367
- OH, COME ON.
- STAY WITH IT, OKAY.
335
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:52,979
AND ACTION.
336
00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:55,503
OH, JAMES, NO MATTER
HOW HARD YOU TRY
337
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:58,810
TO PUSH ME AWAY--
338
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,638
THAT'S IT!
I'VE HAD IT!
339
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,466
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
340
00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:04,251
IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.
341
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:07,254
SOME OF US HAVE FAMILIES
WE'D LIKE TO BE WITH, BILL.
342
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:09,517
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE
THIS LONELY GRINCH
343
00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:11,998
WITH NOWHERE TO GO DOESN'T MEAN
THAT YOU HAVE TO KEEP US HERE,
344
00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:14,914
CAPTIVE, AS PUPPETS
IN YOUR THEATER OF CRUELTY.
345
00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:17,046
NO, CARL.
346
00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:23,705
YOU'RE RIGHT.
OKAY?
347
00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:25,185
I GO HOME EVERY NIGHT
348
00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:28,318
TO AN AGGRESSIVE FERRET
AND A DYING PLANT.
349
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:33,628
I MEAN, REALLY, HOW LONG
DOES IT TAKE FOR A PLANT TO DIE?
350
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:34,803
YOU'VE GOT
THIS BEAUTIFUL FAMILY
351
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,283
AND A HOUSE
FILLED WITH LOVE
352
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,328
AND PROBABLY
A CHRISTMAS GOOSE.
353
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:39,808
OH.
354
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,985
SOMEONE IN NEED
OF A CHRISTMAS GOOSE?
355
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:48,860
ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE.
356
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,340
WE'RE DOWN TO OUR LAST TRAY
OF CHEESY POTATOES.
357
00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:52,299
LET'S START PUSHING
THE JUMBO SHRIMP.
358
00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:54,562
THEY WON'T LAST
ANOTHER WEEK.
359
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:59,306
YOU HEAR THAT, DAD?
THERE'S ONLY ONE TRAY LEFT.
360
00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:02,396
[Beethoven's {\an8}Ode to Joy]
361
00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:10,230
♪
362
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,999
HANDS IN, ON THREE.
ONE, TWO, THREE, POTATOES.
363
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:41,000
- MOM.
- HOBBS.
364
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:44,264
- SNOW.
- REALLY, GUYS?
365
00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:47,267
COME ON, HANNAH.
WE'LL FIND SOMETHING ELSE.
366
00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:50,661
- UH, DAD?
- YEAH?
367
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:53,055
DADDY, THAT LITTLE GIRL
LOOKS SAD.
368
00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:57,755
YEAH, THIS FEELS
NOT RIGHT.
369
00:16:57,886 --> 00:17:00,932
JOE...
370
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:05,111
EXCUSE ME.
UM, HERE YOU GO.
371
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:07,330
WE DIDN'T MEAN
TO SCARE YOUR LITTLE ONE.
372
00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:08,897
THANK YOU.
373
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,943
THESE ARE KIND OF
OUR CHRISTMAS TRADITION.
374
00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:13,206
WHAT DO YOU SAY, HANNAH?
375
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:15,034
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
376
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:18,646
- MERRY CHRISTMAS.
- MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU.
377
00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:22,128
WELL, DAVID, THAT WAS QUITE
A DISPLAY OF TEAMWORK.
378
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:23,738
THANK YOU, SANTA.
379
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:26,219
QUITE THE LOVELY FAMILY
YOU HAVE HERE.
380
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:29,135
AND, JOE, I HEAR
YOU'RE THE INQUISITIVE ONE.
381
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:30,484
DO YOU HAVE
ANY QUESTIONS FOR ME?
382
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,138
YEAH.
383
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:33,748
HOW DO YOU GET AROUND THE WORLD
IN ONE NIGHT?
384
00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:35,576
[chuckles]
385
00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,578
I GET THAT A LOT.
386
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:41,973
IT'S ACTUALLY A MATTER
OF PHYSICS AND TIME TRAVEL.
387
00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:46,848
BUT MOSTLY BELIEF.
388
00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:49,155
OH, I ALMOST FORGOT.
389
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:52,419
I BELIEVE
YOU WERE LOOKING FOR THESE.
390
00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:54,812
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
391
00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:56,553
THANK YOU, SANTA.
392
00:17:56,684 --> 00:17:58,860
LOOK AT THIS.
393
00:17:58,990 --> 00:18:01,906
OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH--
394
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:03,734
WHERE'D HE GO?
395
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:07,521
YOU REALLY LOVE THOSE CHEESY
POTATOES, HUH, MR. HOBBS?
396
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:09,262
YES, WE DO, CARL.
397
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,699
HEY, BY THE WAY, YOU HAVE
A GREAT STORE SANTA HERE.
398
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:13,962
COST CLUB DOESN'T
HAVE A STORE SANTA.
399
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,746
NEVER HAS.
400
00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:20,055
WELL, HAPPY HOLIDAYS.
401
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:21,535
[heavenly choir sings]
402
00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:24,712
I BELIEVE.
403
00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:25,756
WE'VE GOT TO GET
ONE OF THESE.
404
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:33,938
OOH, TURKEY SMELLS GREAT.
I'M STARVING.
405
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:34,939
DONE.
406
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:36,550
HEY.
407
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,552
YOU MADE CHRISTMAS DINNER?
408
00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:40,989
WELL, COME ON, HONEY.
YOU ALWAYS DID IT FOR US.
409
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,774
AW, THANK YOU, MY LOVE.
OH, HONEY.
410
00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:45,907
SEASONS GREETINGS,
HOBBS FAMILY.
411
00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:47,691
YOU'RE HOME.
412
00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:52,609
PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO RELAX.
MAYBE IN THE LIVING ROOM?
413
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:55,612
WOULD YOU LIKE US TO RELAX
IN THE LIVING ROOM?
414
00:18:55,743 --> 00:19:00,791
UH, ONLY IF YOU WANT TO.
415
00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:03,229
YEAH, I'D LIKE YOU
TO RELAX IN THE LIVING ROOM.
416
00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:10,845
UNBELIEVABLE.
417
00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:12,847
WOW.
418
00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:14,240
IT'S MY CHRISTMAS GIFT
TO YOU GUYS.
419
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,677
COOL.
420
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:19,810
OH, THANK YOU, KEVIN.
421
00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:22,465
THIS IS--
THIS IS AMAZING, KEVIN.
422
00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:24,641
HOW DID YOU DO THIS?
- IT'S WHAT I DO.
423
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:28,297
WELL, YOU DID GOOD.
COME ON, UP TOP.
424
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:35,913
BREATHE.
BREATHE.
425
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:38,264
COME ON, GUYS, LET'S HELP MOM
DECORATE THE TREE.
426
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:39,395
- YEAH.
- YAY!
427
00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:46,185
AMY, HIT IT.
428
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:48,970
[all cheering, applauding]
429
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,972
AWESOME.
430
00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:51,973
OH, AND, UH,
I ALMOST FORGOT.
431
00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:53,279
THERE'S ONE LAST THING.
432
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:54,323
THIS IS ESPECIALLY
FOR JANIE.
433
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:11,732
SNOW!
434
00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:14,604
TOO COOL TO PLAY
IN THE SNOW?
435
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:17,433
NOPE.
436
00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:22,046
- HEY, OVER HERE, A SNOWBALL!
- YEAH, I GOT ONE, TOO!
437
00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:24,179
NICE TOUCH, KEVIN.
438
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:25,572
KIDS.
439
00:20:25,702 --> 00:20:31,099
THEY TAKE SUCH JOY
IN THE LITTLEST THINGS.
440
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,361
GO AHEAD.
441
00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:33,667
YAY, SNOW!
442
00:20:33,797 --> 00:20:36,147
[laughs]
443
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:40,891
[mumbles unintelligibly]
444
00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:43,851
I LOVE YOU, TOO, HONEY.
445
00:20:43,981 --> 00:20:48,508
[sleigh bells ringing]