HERE COMES RICKY.
all: BOO!
HOW WAS HOCKEY PRACTICE, SON?
GREAT, DAD.
[canned laughter]
SON, DID YOU FORGET YOUR MOUTH GUARD?
PSYCH, DAD!
[both laugh]
all: BOO!
- THIS IS FUN. RICKY STINKS. - [chuckles]
WHY DOES RICKY STINK AGAIN?
WELL, HONEY, BECAUSE AFTER SEE DAD RUN,
HE GOT A BIG HEAD
AND HE WAS RUDE TO ALL OF US, ESPECIALLY EMILY.
YEAH, HE STARTED DOING MOVIES, SELLING OUT CONCERTS,
DATING GIRLS NAMED TAYLOR, AND--
AND SUDDENLY HE WENT FROM RICKY ADAMS TO...
all: [taunting] RICKY ADAMS.
OH, HERE HE COMES AGAIN!
all: BOO!
YOU'RE TEACHING THE KIDS TO BOO RICKY?
YEAH, HONEY, BUT NOW, WE'RE DOING IT AS A FAMILY.
OUR DISLIKE OF RICKY IS BRINGING US CLOSER TOGETHER.
all: BOO!
DAVID, CAN I SEE YOU IN THE KITCHEN?
all: OOH!
[upbeat music]
♪
DAVID, HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA HOLD THIS GRUDGE AGAINST RICKY?
I WOULDN'T CALL IT A GRUDGE.
WELL, EVERY TIME HE CALLS TO APOLOGIZE,
YOU SAY, "HE'S DEAD TO ME."
YOU KNOW, THAT'S KIND OF A GRUDGE.
HONEY, THERE'S A VERY IMPORTANT BOND
BETWEEN A TV DAD AND A TV SON, AND HE BROKE IT.
WELL, IN SOME STRANGE WORLD THAT MAY BE TRUE.
IN THE TV WORLD.
YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME ANYMORE, DO YOU?
[laughs] DAVID, JUST WATCH HOW YOU PLAY
THE WHOLE TV SON DRAMA IN FRONT OF YOUR REAL LIFE KIDS.
OKAY? THEY WATCH YOUR EVERY MOVE.
OH, OKAY.
JUST SO YOU KNOW, JANIE DELETED
MY TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE EPISODES
TO MAKE ROOM FOR DORA THE EXPLORER,
SO SHE'S DEAD TO ME!
AND THERE IT IS. [clears throat]
DAVID, COME ON, WHY DON'T YOU CALL RICKY BACK?
HE MISSES YOU. LISTEN.
[answering machine beep] - [on machine ] HEY, DAVID.
IT'S RICKY. CAN YOU CALL ME BACK, PLEASE?
[answering machine beep]
DAVID! RICKY AGAIN.
HEY, IF YOU HAVE A CHANCE, I'M AROUND.
DAVID, PLEASE CALL MY SON BACK. HE'S NOT EATING.
MOM, I'M ON THE PHONE!
OOH. MAMA, HE IS SUFFERING.
BOO! HEY, GUYS, GUESS WHAT?
YOU ARE LOOKING AT ONE OF THE NOMINEES
FOR FRESHMAN CLASS PRESIDENT.
- OH! CONGRATULATIONS. - OH, HONEY!
- OH, MY GOSH, THAT'S SO GREAT. - EMILY, THAT'S GREAT.
YEAH, HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE.
I'M RUNNING AGAINST THE SON OF SOMEONE ON DAD'S GRUDGE LIST.
STAMOS?
DANZA?
[gasps] KELLY RIPA?
NO, IT'S XANDER MCGINLEY, TED MCGINLEY'S SON.
- OH, NO. - TED MCGINLEY'S NOT
ON MY GRUDGE LIST, HE'S ON MY "DEAD TO ME" LIST.
DAVID, YOU GOTTA LET IT GO.
AFTER WHAT HE DID TO ME?
AND THE 2008 WINNER OF TELEVISION'S
"DAD OF THE YEAR" IS...
A TIE BETWEEN DAVID HOBBS FROM SEE DAD RUN
AND TED MCGINLEY FROM TED PLUS TEN.
[cheers and applause]
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
CONGRATULATIONS, TED.
AFTER YOU.
- OH! - OH!
OH!
- OW! [grunts] - [laughs]
AH! AH! AH! AH!
- AH! - [winces]
[breathing hard] WOW. [laughs]
THANK YOU SO MUCH. THIS IS TRULY AN HONOR.
I'M DEEPLY BLESSED-- - HE BIT ME!
I'M BLEEDING FROM THE CALF.
I JUST WANT TO-- I JUST WANT TO--
WHY ARE YOU PUSHING ME? I WANT TO THANK SOME PEOPLE.
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU. - I WANT TO THANK
THE HAIR AND MAKEUP DEPARTMENT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU KNOW THAT I STILL GET A DULL PAIN IN MY LEG
WHENEVER IT RAINS?
LISTEN, THIS IS MY CHANCE TO GET BACK AT HIM.
EMILY, PLEASE, LET ME HELP YOU BEAT HIM.
DAD, XANDER IS NOT TED. HE'S A PERFECTLY NICE GUY.
PLEASE, I WANT TO WIN THIS ELECTION ON MY OWN MERIT.
I--OKAY, I UNDERSTAND THAT WINNING ON YOUR OWN MERIT
IS VERY IMPORTANT...
RIGHT AFTER DOING ANYTHING THAT HUMILIATES TED MCGINLEY.
MOM.
CAN HE DO POSTERS AND BUTTONS?
FINE, POSTERS AND BUTTONS, BUT THAT IS IT.
HE BIT ME!
ON NATIONAL TELEVISION! HE BROKE THE SKIN!
VOTE FOR MY SISTER.
SHE PROMISES TO TREAT YOU BETTER THAN SHE TREATS US.
WELL, IT COULD'VE BEEN A LOT WORSE.
[dramatic music]
[on TV] THIS IS THE EMILY HOBBS STORY.
AND HERE COMES WORSE.
EMILY HOBBS,
DAUGHTER OF AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE DAD, DAVID HOBBS.
FROM THE MOMENT SHE ENTERED THIS WORLD,
SHE WAS A NATURAL BORN LEADER,
SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT HER SCHOOL,
HER FAMILY, AND ANIMALS, EVEN THE UGLY ONES.
A VOTE FOR EMILY HOBBS IS A VOTE FOR A BETTER TOMORROW.
SEE DAD RUN NOW AVAILABLE ON DVD AND BLU-RAY.
[cheers and applause]
[dramatic chord]
[thunder clap]
[cheers and applause]
VOTE XANDER MCGINLEY AND WATCH THE MAGIC HAPPEN.
[chuckles]
[cheers and applause]
- TED. - DAVID.
HOW'S THAT SCRAWNY CALF?
STILL CARRY THE MARK OF MCGINLEY?
[laughs] PLEASE.
THOSE PORCELAIN VENEERS BARELY BROKE THE SKIN.
YOU EVER FIND THAT SIZE FIVE LADY SHOE OF YOURS?
[laughs]
I SEE YOU KEPT YOUR CURLY-HAIRED MAN BOY.
MY ASSISTANT, TED.
YEAH, TED. NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE TO GO MAKE NUMBER ONE...
ON MY OWN.
I'M SORRY. I TRIED TO TALK MY DAD
OUT OF MAKING THIS ELECTION ABOUT HIM.
I TRY TALKING MY DAD OUT OF MAKING EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM.
[laughs]
OH, ADMIT IT, HOBBS.
YOU DIDN'T DESERVE TO SHARE THAT AWARD WITH ME.
ON TED PLUS TEN, I RAISED TEN TV KIDS,
WHILE YOU RAISED TWO.
YOUR NEXT SHOW SHOULD BE
CALF BITER: THE TED MCGINLEY STORY,
OR--OR, WAIT A MINUTE, HOW 'BOUT
TED MCGINLEY, OWNER OF A FREAKISHLY SMALL HEAD,
WHICH I AM NOW CRUSHING.
WELL, MINE'S NOT AS SMALL AS YOURS.
YEAH, YOU HAVE A LITTLE PEANUT HEAD.
REALLY? YOURS IS-- both: DAD!
TRUST ME, YOU BOTH HAVE HUGE HEADS.
YEAH, UNCOOL, DAD.
YEAH, SO UNCOOL.
DAD, WHAT HAPPENED TO POSTERS AND BUTTONS?
[sighs] SORRY, EMILY. XANDER, I APOLOGIZE.
YEAH, ME TOO. DAVID, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE END THIS,
AND LET THE KIDS HAVE THEIR ELECTION?
SURE.
[both grunt]
HONEY, I AM SO GLAD
YOU FINALLY LET THE MCGINLEY GRUDGE GO,
WHICH LEADS US TO RICKY.
HONEY, YOU'VE GOTTA FORGIVE HIM.
IT'LL TEACH OUR KIDS A VALUABLE LESSON.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO SEE HIS FACE RIGHT NOW.
[knocking at the door]
WHY AM I SEEING HIS FACE RIGHT NOW?
HE'S BEEN WAITING OUT THERE ALL DAY.
- WHAT? - I THINK HIS MOTHER'S
PARKED ACROSS THE STREET. - HONEY, NO, NO, NO.
I CAN'T BE THE BIGGER PERSON TWICE IN ONE DAY.
- SHH! - I'M NOT OPRAH.
HEY, RICKY BROUGHT CUPCAKES.
THANK YOU...RICHARD.
DAVID, I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU FACE-TO-FACE
THAT I'M SORRY ABOUT THE WAY I BEHAVED.
BECOMING A CELEBRITY CAN REALLY CHANGE YOU.
I WAS ALL, "YO, I'M RICKY ADAMS."
SO I DROPPED THE ENTOURAGE,
I MOVED BACK HOME, AND NOW MY MOM MANAGES ME.
WHICH, IN RETROSPECT, WAS PROBABLY A MISTAKE.
both: BOO!
HEY, HEY, HEY. WE DO NOT BOO RICKY ANYMORE.
WHY? IT BROUGHT US TOGETHER AS A FAMILY.
THERE GOES "LET'S BOO RICKY" NIGHT.
HEY, THAT'S OKAY. I PROBABLY DESERVE THAT.
[sighs] HEY, THANKS FOR LETTING ME
GET THIS OFF MY CHEST.
HOLD ON, RICKY.
I--OH!
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT LITERALLY.
- OH, YEAH. [chuckles] - LISTEN,
YOU MADE A MISTAKE AND YOU LEARNED FROM IT.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU BIT ME.
I WOULD NEVER BITE YOU, DAVID.
- OH! [laughing] OKAY. ALL-- - EMILY!
HEY, LOOK, I FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT THE WAY I TREATED YOU,
AND, UM, I HOPE THAT ONE DAY, YOU CAN FORGIVE ME.
BOO.
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS EMILY'S LAST CAMPAIGN DAY, GUYS,
SO WE HAVE TO COME UP WITH A PLAN
BEFORE SHE GETS HOME, OKAY?
WHERE ARE WE WITH THE UNIONS?
STUDENT UNION REFUSES TO OFFICIALLY BACK A CANDIDATE,
BUT THE CROSSING GUARDS SAY THAT THEY CAN
GET THE CHESS CLUB TO GO HOBBS.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T TRUST THE CHESS CLUB GUYS.
TOO MANY HOURS ALONE WITH NO FEMALE INTERACTION.
I WAS CAPTAIN OF THE CHESS CLUB.
CHECK AND NO MATE.
- DAD, I'M HOME. - WELL, I GUESS
EVERYBODY IN OUR BOOK CLUB CAN AGREE THAT--
THAT WALDO IS IN A LOT OF PLACES.
UH, IF YOU CAN FIND HIM.
RIGHT. [laughter]
OKAY.
CAN WE JUST SKIP PAST THE PART
WHERE I ACCUSE YOU ALL OF NOT HAVING A BOOK CLUB,
WHEN YOU'RE ACTUALLY PLANNING SOME HAREBRAINED SCHEME
FOR MY CAMPAIGN?
- UH, YES, MA'AM. [mumbling] - YEAH. OH, MY GOD.
I WAS REALLY NERVOUS. I'M NOT A GOOD LIAR. I'M SORRY.
I THOUGHT SO.
SWEETIE, SIT DOWN.
LOOK, I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU.
I LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU THINK
THE WORLD IS ALL BUTTERFLIES AND RAINBOWS,
BUT I KNOW TED MCGINLEY,
AND HIS SON IS PROBABLY JUST LIKE HIM.
THESE PEOPLE WILL WIN AT ALL COSTS.
IF YOU THINK THAT THEY'RE NOT GONNA PULL SOMETHING,
THEY'RE GONNA MOP THE FLOOR WITH YOU.
ARE YOU SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, DAD?
THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME.
YEAH, I KNOW, HONEY. THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME.
YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE, OKAY?
AND IF I'M WRONG... IF I'M WRONG...
I WILL SHAVE MY HEAD.
WOW.
YOU'RE SERIOUS?
I CONSIDER MY HAIR ONE OF MY CHILDREN...
ONLY THEY'VE BEEN WITH ME LONGER AND DON'T TALK BACK,
SO YES, I'M PRETTY DAMN SERIOUS.
GET IN LINE AND TAKE A PICTURE WITH AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE DAD,
DAVID HOBBS, AND VOTE EMILY HOBBS.
ALL RIGHT, GOOD MAN. ENJOY YOUR PHOTO. VOTE EMILY.
MCGINLEY HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING.
BEAT IT, MAN BOY.
FINE, I'LL GO.
BUT I'M TAKIN' THIS WITH ME.
NICE PHOTO BOOTH, HOBBS. WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR HANDSHAKE?
I KNEW BETTER THAN TO TRUST A SNAKE LIKE YOU, MCGINLEY.
[beeps]
[photo snap]
HOW DO YOU EVEN LOOK IN THE MIRROR,
MR. "150 SHADES OF GREY HAIR"?
[laughs] - MY HAIR IS NOT GREY.
[beeps]
[photo snap]
I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR EARS, OLD MAN.
LOOK WHO'S TALKING,
MR. "TED PLUS TEN POUNDS TOO HEAVY
TO WEAR THOSE SKINNY JEANS."
OH, YEAH? YOU GOT EAR ROPES.
- THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT. - HEY, HEY, HEY.
both: NOT THE FACE. NOT THE FACE.
[beeps] [photo snap]
THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT, NO.
YOU WANT SOME OF THAT? YOU WANT SOME MORE?
THIS IS GRAPPLING.
CAN I SPEAK WITH MY DAD?
JUST DON'T USE ANY BIG WORDS.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT GUY?
I CAN'T BELIEVE I TRUSTED YOU, DAD.
YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT THE MCGINLEYS.
WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT THEY PULLED.
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES.
I'M SORRY, EMILY.
I AM HUMILIATED.
BUT AFTER TONIGHT, AT LEAST I WON'T BE ALONE.
OH, NO. MY BABIES.
[beeps] [photo snap]
DAD, IT'S TIME TO FACE THE MUSIC.
WAY AHEAD OF YOU.
[screams] DAD, YOU'RE HIDEOUS!
I MEAN--[chuckles] DOESN'T LOOK THAT BAD.
WHAT AM I SAYING, IT'S HORRIBLE!
EMILY, WE HAD A DEAL. I WAS WRONG.
NO, I WAS WRONG. YOUR HEAD LOOKS LIKE A KNEE.
LISTEN, I GUESS WITH ALL THE ENERGY
I POURED INTO GETTING EVEN WITH MCGINLEY,
I ENDED UP HURTING YOU, AND AGAIN, I'M SORRY.
THAT GRUDGE, DEAD TO ME.
I CAN SEE MY REFLECTION IN YOUR HEAD
AND IT'S FREAKING ME OUT.
WOW, DAD, YOU REALLY DID IT.
DADDY, YOU LOOK LIKE THAT MOVIE STAR.
- BRUCE WILLIS? - NO, E.T.
WELL, DAD, IF YOU CAN SHAVE YOUR HEAD, SO CAN I.
ME TOO.
WHOA, UM--
HOLD IT!
NOBODY'S SHAVING ANYTHING.
MOM'S RIGHT. I NEVER WANTED IT TO GO THIS FAR.
ME NEITHER. I TRIED, HONEY,
BUT I COULDN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT.
BUT IF YOU STILL WANT ME TO--
YOU DIDN'T REALLY DO IT?
OH, THANK GOODNESS! - OH.
YOUR HAIR REALLY IS YOUR BEST FEATURE.
[sighs] - I KNOW.
WELL, I SHAVED IT. SOLIDARITY, DAVID.
WHY DO YOU STILL HAVE HAIR?
BALD CAP, KEVIN.
BAG OF HAIR, DAVID.
[doorbell rings]
RICKY, PLEASE, NOT NOW.
EMILY, I JUST NEED A MINUTE.
I PROMISE YOU'LL WANT TO HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.
- WHAT YOU GOT THERE? - BEES.
WE'RE GONNA RELEASE THEM WHEN XANDER GIVES HIS SPEECH.
OH. OH. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA TALK TO THEM?
OH, YEAH, OKAY.
[clears throat] LISTEN, GUYS,
I MAY HAVE INADVERTENTLY SET A BAD EXAMPLE, OKAY?
HOLDING A GRUDGE,
IT'S KIND OF LIKE RELEASING A JAR OF BEES.
CHANCES ARE, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S GONNA GET STUNG.
- OH, MY GOSH, HONEY. - WOW, THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
WELCOME TO ELECTION DAY, FRESHMEN.
IT'S TIME TO HEAR FROM YOUR CANDIDATES FOR PRESIDENT.
[cheers and applause]
- I'M SORRY. - FOR WHAT?
THIS. [snaps fingers]
[whistling count-off]
[marching band fanfare]
♪
I KNEW IT. I KNEW I WASN'T WRONG. I KNEW IT.
♪
[whistling]
[music stops]
[cheers and applause]
YOU GET A T-SHIRT! YOU GET A T-SHIRT!
EVERYBODY GETS A T-SHIRT!
[cheers and applause] - I GOT ONE!
I GOT IT! I GOT IT! YEAH! [laughs] WHOO!
- HONEY. - I'M SORRY.
SUCKA. [laughs]
WOW, AMAZE ALERT!
AND NOW, EMILY HOBBS.
[applause]
THANKS, ANNABELLE.
FELLOW CLASSMATES, I WANT TO BE YOUR PRESIDENT
TO CHANGE THE WAY THINGS RUN AROUND HERE.
IF WE WORK TOGETHER, WE CAN HAVE
A STRONG AND POWERFUL STUDENT UNION.
OH, SHE IS GONNA GET SLAUGHTERED.
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING THAT CAN SAVE HER.
[whispering] RELEASE THE BEES.
ABSOLUTELY NOT. YOU LET HER DO THIS ON HER OWN.
I WANTED THIS ELECTION TO BE FAIR,
BUT A SMART MAN WITH A GREAT HEAD OF HAIR
ONCE TOLD ME THAT PEOPLE DON'T ALWAYS PLAY FAIR.
SOMETIMES, PEOPLE TRY TO GET THE BEST OF YOU,
BUT REALLY, THEY ONLY MAKE YOU STRONGER.
KEVIN?
PLEASE WELCOME MY FRIEND, RICKY ADAMS.
[Kelly Clarkson's Stronger] [cheers and applause]
BOOM.
♪ THINK YOU LEFT ME BROKEN DOWN ♪
♪ THINK THAT I'D COME RUNNING BACK ♪
♪ BABY, YOU DON'T KNOW ME, 'CAUSE YOU'RE DEAD WRONG ♪
♪ WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER ♪
♪ STAND A LITTLE TALLER
♪ DOESN'T MEAN I'M LONELY WHEN I'M ALONE ♪
both: ♪ WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU A FIGHTER ♪
♪ FOOTSTEPS EVEN LIGHTER
♪ DOESN'T MEAN I'M OVER 'CAUSE YOU'RE GONE ♪
both: ♪ WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER ♪
♪ STRONGER
♪ JUST ME, MYSELF, AND I
♪ WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER ♪
♪ STAND A LITTLE TALLER
♪ DOESN'T MEAN I'M LONELY WHEN I'M ALONE ♪
♪ YOU HEARD THAT I WAS STARTING OVER ♪
♪ WITH SOMEONE NEW, YEAH ♪
♪ YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT I'D COME BACK ♪
♪ I'D COME BACK SWINGING
♪ YOU TRY TO BREAK ME, BUT YOU SEE ♪
♪ WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER ♪
♪ STAND A LITTLE TALLER
♪ DOESN'T MEAN I'M LONELY WHEN I'M ALONE ♪
both: ♪ WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU A FIGHTER ♪
♪ FOOTSTEPS EVEN LIGHTER
♪ DOESN'T MEAN I'M OVER 'CAUSE YOU'RE GONE ♪
both: ♪ WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER ♪
[cheers and applause]
OH! CONGRATULATIONS, MADAME PRESIDENT.
MM, MM, MM. OH. - [laughs] GOOD WORK, HONEY.
- YOU! - WELL, YOU INSPIRED ME.
YOU GOT ME TO FORGIVE RICKY.
HOW DID YOU KNOW THE MCGINLEYS
HAD ONE LAST TRICK UP THEIR SLEEVE?
WELL, MCGINLEY CALLED,
THOUGHT I'D BE HAPPY TO TAKE DOWN A HOBBS.
HE WAS WRONG. NOBODY BITES MY TV DAD IN THE CALF.
THAT'S MY TV BOY.
THANKS AGAIN, RICKY.
ANYTHING FOR YOU, BLUE EYES.
[giggles]
[over P.A.] RICKY ADAMS,
YOUR MOM'S WAITING IN THE PARKING LOT.
MOM!
I GOTTA LEARN HOW TO DRIVE. - [laughs]
MAMA'S BOY.
WELL, AMY, YOU WERE RIGHT.
AFTER A WHILE, YOUR CHILDREN START TO TAKE AFTER YOU.
- UH-HUH. - AND YOU'RE WELCOME.
OH, UH, HANG ON. HANG ON. WAIT HERE FOR A SECOND.
TED. - DAVID.
I HAVE TO HAND IT TO YOU.
YOU HAVE A PRETTY AMAZING DAUGHTER.
THANK YOU. I THINK SO TOO.
HMM. MUST HAVE GOT IT FROM HER MOTHER.
[laughter]
UNTIL NEXT TIME.
DAVID.
[clears throat] THERE'S A SIGN ON MY BACK,
ISN'T THERE? - THERE IS.
YES, THERE IS. - THAT'S OKAY.
MAKES ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT LEAVING THOSE BEES IN HIS CAR.