1 00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:12,316 ANYONE NOTICE THE LOOKS I'M GETTING 2 00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:14,666 FROM THOSE TWO FINE YOUNG LADIES? 3 00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:17,974 MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I'VE RECENTLY GROWN OUT MY MUSTACHE. 4 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,410 - MM. - [laughs] YEAH. 5 00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,108 OR THEY'RE MESMERIZED BY THAT 6 00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:23,197 SPAGHETTI SIDEBURN YOU'RE SPORTING. 7 00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:25,634 [chuckles] - OH, MAN. 8 00:00:25,764 --> 00:00:26,809 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? 9 00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:28,550 HERE THEY ARE. MY FAVORITE PEOPLE! 10 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:29,899 all: HEY! 11 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,335 - MARIO. - HI. 12 00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:32,684 DAVID, GREAT TO SEE YOU. 13 00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:34,034 OH, MAN, EVERYTHING WAS FANTASTIC, THANK YOU. 14 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:35,774 I SEE EVERYONE HAD THE HOBBS SPECIAL. 15 00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:38,125 LIKE WE HAD A CHOICE. 16 00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:40,475 DON'T YOU RUN OFF. I HAVE TIRAMISU FOR EVERYBODY. 17 00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:41,650 - NICE. - OOH, TIRAMISU. 18 00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:43,130 TIRAMISU, TIRAMISU. 19 00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:46,263 [giggles] 20 00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:48,004 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE REST OF THE CLASS, EMILY? 21 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,615 I'M SNAP-TALKING WITH MATTHEW. 22 00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:53,401 I SENT HIM A PICTURE OF MY PASTA SHAPED LIKE A SMILEY FACE, 23 00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:55,490 AND HE SENT ME A PICTURE OF A HEART MADE OUT OF KETCHUP, 24 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,013 SO THEN I SENT HIM-- 25 00:00:57,144 --> 00:01:00,190 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. DON'T RUIN THE ENDING FOR ME. 26 00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:06,196 HI. - SORRY TO INTERRUPT. 27 00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:09,069 WE HEARD CELEBRITIES EAT HERE. 28 00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,592 COULD WE BOTHER YOU FOR A PICTURE? 29 00:01:10,722 --> 00:01:14,465 OH, WELL. OKAY, SURE. 30 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,734 WHY DON'T THOSE LADIES WANT YOUR PICTURE, MOMMY? 31 00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:24,345 'CAUSE NOBODY WATCHES SOAP OPERAS ANYMORE. 32 00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,956 SO NOBODY CARES WHO MOMMY IS, SWEETIE. 33 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,654 ALL RIGHT. LET'S JUST DO THIS THING. 34 00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:31,917 OOH. - AY YI YI. 35 00:01:32,048 --> 00:01:34,137 WELL, UM, WE'LL-- 36 00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:35,834 WE'LL GET THAT ONE TO GO. 37 00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:38,489 - YEAH. - UM... 38 00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:43,625 EMILY, EMILY, YOU'VE BEEN ON THAT PHONE ALL NIGHT, 39 00:01:43,755 --> 00:01:45,409 AND IT'S FAMILY NIGHT. COME ON. 40 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:49,196 YOU KEEP THIS UP, I'M GONNA TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU. 41 00:01:49,326 --> 00:01:51,894 IT'S LIKE WE'RE RAISING A FOREHEAD. 42 00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:54,201 HEY! MAYBE--MAYBE THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND. 43 00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:55,506 I SET UP A SMART ALERT FOR DAVID HOBBS. 44 00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:57,247 NOW ANY TIME YOUR NAME POPS UP ON THE INTERNET, 45 00:01:57,378 --> 00:02:01,425 I GET AN ALERT. ABOUT MY DADDY. 46 00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,123 REALLY? NICE. [phone chirps] 47 00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:06,126 - WHOA. - WHAT? 48 00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:08,258 WHAT? WHAT? - UH-OH. 49 00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:09,259 WHAT IS IT? 50 00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:13,655 [techno music] 51 00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:15,309 [British accent] DOES AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE DAD 52 00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:19,269 TREAT HIS KIDS LIKE THEY'RE NUMBER TWO? 53 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,532 THIS IS MITCH KROFT, AND, DAVID HOBBS... 54 00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,621 YOU HAVE BEEN MITCH-SLAPPED! 55 00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:26,233 [slap] 56 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,278 IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 57 00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:31,412 SURE, YOU JUST KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT. 58 00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:36,460 [upbeat music] 59 00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:44,294 ♪ 60 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:56,393 I WAS AS SURPRISED AS ANYONE TO SEE HOW 61 00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:58,482 DAVID HOBBS TREATS HIS SON. 62 00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:04,401 I MEAN, IT WENT FROM INNOCENT DESSERT TO TERROR...MISU. 63 00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:11,365 OUCH. 64 00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:12,583 I KNOW I'M YOUR FAVORITE, 65 00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:15,238 BUT CAN YOU MAKE IT A LITTLE LESS OBVIOUS? 66 00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:19,460 - DAD. - YEAH? 67 00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:20,983 WHY DID THAT GUY LIE ABOUT YOU? 68 00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:22,289 YOU DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE. 69 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,508 UNLESS I DID SOMETHING TO ANNOY YOU. 70 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,249 'CAUSE SOMETIMES I DO THIS NERVOUS RAMBLING THING 71 00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,730 THAT BUGS PEOPLE, AND I DON'T REALLY REALIZE I'M DOING IT-- 72 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:31,689 JOE, JOE, JOE, JOE. YOU'RE DOING IT. 73 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,256 IT'S JUST WHAT THESE PEOPLE DO, SWEETIE. 74 00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:35,302 THEY TAKE PICTURES OF CELEBRITIES, 75 00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:37,869 AND THEY TRY TO MAKE US LOOK BAD, FOR MONEY. 76 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,044 HMM? OKAY. - ALL RIGHT? 77 00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:39,915 GO GET READY FOR SCHOOL, PAL. 78 00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,395 ALL RIGHT. 79 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:42,613 IF I EVER DO SOMETHING TO ANNOY YOU, 80 00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:44,267 YOU CAN JUST TELL ME, SO THEN I'LL BE AWARE OF IT-- 81 00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:47,836 JOE... YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN. 82 00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:50,099 OOH, I'M SORRY. 83 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:54,756 DID I SAY "US CELEBRITIES"? MY MISTAKE. 84 00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:57,237 A REAL CELEBRITY HAS MORE THAN SEVEN PEOPLE 85 00:03:57,367 --> 00:04:01,197 FOLLOWING THEM...ON TWITTER. 86 00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:03,634 HONEY, AS SOON AS I FOUND OUT WHERE TWITTER IS, 87 00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:06,594 I WILL FOLLOW YOU THERE, OKAY? 88 00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:07,769 A CLIP OF YOU NAILING JOE 89 00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:10,075 HAS ALREADY GOTTEN 9,000 HITS ONLINE. 90 00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:11,512 EMILY, HONEY. YOU'RE--YOU'RE GONNA... 91 00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:14,645 [bang] 92 00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:18,519 DO THAT. 93 00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:21,522 YOU SHOULD HAVE TEXTED HER. 94 00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:23,524 - YOU OKAY WITH THIS? - WHAT? 95 00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,787 THE TABLOIDS CAN BE PRETTY ROUGH. 96 00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:26,962 WHAT? COME ON. 97 00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:28,268 THIS JUST GOES ALONG WITH BEING 98 00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:30,792 AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE DAD FOR TEN YEARS RUNNING. 99 00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:32,141 RIGHT? COME ON. 100 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,186 THEY'RE TRYING TO KNOCK ME OFF MY PEDESTAL. 101 00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:35,623 I'M SURPRISED IT DIDN'T HAPPEN SOONER. 102 00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:38,321 OH, IT DID. 103 00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:39,496 REMEMBER WHEN THEY WROTE YOU WERE HAVING 104 00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:44,022 A SCANDALOUS AFFAIR WITH SOPHIA VERGERA? 105 00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:49,550 OH, YEAH. 106 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:53,205 THE HUMANITY. 107 00:04:58,254 --> 00:05:00,996 - OW! - OH. 108 00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:05,174 JUST RELAX, AND DADDY WILL TAKE CARE OF THIS, OKAY? 109 00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,443 YEAH. 110 00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,140 ALL RIGHT. WHAT DO YOU THINK, HUH? 111 00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:20,232 DON'T YOU LOOK PRETTY? 112 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:23,888 DOES IT LOOK PRETTY TO YOU? 113 00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,500 UM...NO, IT DOES NOT. 114 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:32,332 AND YOU SAY YOU KNOW HAIR. 115 00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:36,379 AT LEAST ONE OF US LOOKS GOOD. 116 00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:37,685 [knock at door] 117 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,251 YEAH? - HEY, HEY, DAVID. 118 00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:40,122 - MARCUS! - HEY, HEY. 119 00:05:40,252 --> 00:05:41,428 GOLF! MARCUS, GOLF. 120 00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,952 OOH! HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE. 121 00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:45,257 NO, NO, NO. 122 00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:46,781 HOUSTON DOES NOT HAVE A PROBLEM, MARCUS. 123 00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:48,086 WE DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM, OKAY? 124 00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:49,914 I NEED TO GOLF. I'M GOING INSANE IN THIS HOUSE. 125 00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:52,526 SERIOUSLY, I'VE HAD MORE TEA PARTIES THAN THE QUEEN. 126 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:56,530 I AM--I AM A LEGEND IN "DUCK, DUCK, GOOSE." 127 00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:58,662 YOU KNOW WHAT "I SPY," MARCUS? YOU KNOW WHAT "I SPY"? 128 00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:02,100 "I SPY" A GOLF COURSE. 129 00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:03,928 LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU, DAVID. 130 00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:06,801 EVERY MORNING MY WIFE GETS UP AND GOES DOWN TO HUCKELBERRY'S 131 00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:08,498 TO GET A DOZEN ECLAIRS. 132 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,282 ALL RIGHT. YOU LIKE ECLAIRS. 133 00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:14,591 MAN, THAT DOZEN IS GONE BEFORE SHE GETS TO THE HOUSE. 134 00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:16,376 YOU LIVE TWO BLOCKS FROM THE STORE. 135 00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:17,855 DAVID, SHE DRIVES WITH HER KNEES. 136 00:06:17,986 --> 00:06:19,727 SHE DRIVES WITH HER KNEES. JUST LEANS--WITH THE KNEES. 137 00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:21,511 [munches] 138 00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:24,253 LISTEN. 139 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,950 THE POINT IS, THEY HOLD THOSE ECLAIRS 140 00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:28,779 BECAUSE SHE IS CLOSE, PERSONAL FRIENDS WITH DAVID HOBBS. 141 00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:31,173 - I UNDERSTAND. - THIS MORNING? NO ECLAIRS. 142 00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:35,177 AND SHE CAME HOME WITH THIS. 143 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,182 THIS IS A PICTURE OF ME AND EMILY 144 00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:41,792 WHEN SHE WAS FIVE YEARS OLD, MARCUS. 145 00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:42,967 COME ON, THEY PULLED THIS OUT OF THE ARCHIVES. 146 00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:44,142 THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 147 00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:45,535 THIS IS MY FAVORITE GAME TO PLAY WITH HER. 148 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:46,493 I'D HANG HER UPSIDE DOWN BY HER ANKLES. 149 00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,495 SHE LOVED IT. 150 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:50,018 THIS GUY IS JUST TRYING TO DIG UP SOME DIRT. 151 00:06:50,148 --> 00:06:51,411 THERE'S NOTHING THERE. 152 00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:52,542 YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING, MAN, 153 00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,152 TO GET OUT IN FRONT OF THIS, ALL RIGHT? 154 00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,416 YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING BIG, MAN. LOOK AT THIS. 155 00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,287 OH, COME ON. [phone rings] 156 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,855 YOU KNOW WHAT, MARCUS? LOOK, MY--MY FANS, 157 00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:02,204 THEY STILL LOVE ME, AND THEN THEY'LL GO WITH ME 158 00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:04,685 NO MATTER WHAT. 159 00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:05,729 OH, HANG ON. [phone beeps] 160 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:08,036 HELLO? 161 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:11,735 YES, THIS IS DAVID HOBBS, THE ONE AND ONLY. 162 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:14,434 WHAT? WHY? 163 00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:16,087 NO, HANG--HANG ON A SECOND. 164 00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:19,482 THAT--THAT WAS A COMPLETE MISUNDERSTANDING. 165 00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:22,267 NO, I'M NOT RAISING MY VOICE. I'M FINE. 166 00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:24,182 WELL NOW I'M RAISING MY VOICE 'CAUSE YOU CANCELED MY TEE TIME! 167 00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:27,316 HOW'S THAT? HELLO? 168 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,840 OH, THEY CANCELED OUR TEE TIME, MARCUS. 169 00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:32,495 OH, THEY CANCELED OUR TEE TIME? 170 00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:35,759 - DID I HEAR "TEA TIME"? - NO. 171 00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,674 YEAH, I'LL HAVE A LITTLE CHAMOMILE WITH A LITTLE HONEY 172 00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,241 TO CALM MY NERVES. I'D LIKE A LITTLE... 173 00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:42,374 [knock at door] - HANG ON. 174 00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:43,854 HEY, GWEN, CHARLOTTE. 175 00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:46,640 [mouth full] HI, MR. HOBBS. 176 00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,903 JANIE'S ALL READY TO GO. 177 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,382 OH, DAVID, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO COME SELL COOKIES? 178 00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:52,167 I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP. 179 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:54,430 I CAN SORT OF CONTROL CHARLOTTE, 180 00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:58,086 BUT JANIE EATS THROUGH OUR PROFITS LIKE A SMALL BEAVER. 181 00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:03,178 OUT IN FRONT OF IT, DAVID. 182 00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:05,746 NOTHING SAYS "GOOD DAD" LIKE A GROWN MAN 183 00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:08,531 IN A LITTLE GIRL'S UNIFORM SELLING COOKIES. 184 00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:13,710 I LOOK GOOD IN A UNIFORM. 185 00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:16,496 YEAH, THIS IS KIND OF FUN. I'M GLAD I CAME HERE TODAY. 186 00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,585 WELL, I DO LOVE YOUR ENTHUSIASM. 187 00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:21,762 YOU'RE LIKE A BREATH OF BLUE AIR. 188 00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:23,067 I'M AN ACTOR. WHEN I GET INTO A ROLE, 189 00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:24,591 I GET INTO A ROLE. 190 00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,941 SO IF I'M A BLUE BONNET, I'M BLUE BONNET ALL THE WAY. 191 00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:28,769 YEAH, YEAH. I CAN SEE THAT. 192 00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,248 OH, HEY, CAN I GIVE YOU MY MAIL? 193 00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:33,338 SAVE ME A TRIP TO THE POST OFFICE? 194 00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:34,601 - YOU DONE? - [laughs] 195 00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:37,386 PROBABLY NOT, PAPA SMURF. 196 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,300 ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE DONE. 197 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:39,954 OKAY. 198 00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:43,261 ALL RIGHT, OUT OF 20. 199 00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:44,828 JUST WONDERING. 200 00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:47,309 DOES THAT GUY TAKING PHOTOS BOTHER YOU? 201 00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:49,093 [camera shutter clicking] 202 00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:51,139 IT SEEMS LIKE SUCH AN INVASION OF PRIVACY. 203 00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:54,142 AH, JUST PART OF THE GAME. 204 00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:56,274 ALL RIGHT, HERE YOU GO. 205 00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:59,800 THERE'S YOUR--YOUR MINT CHOCOLATE, RIGHT, OKAY? 206 00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:02,759 ATTABOY, COME ON. GIVE ME A HUG, YEAH. 207 00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:03,717 [camera shutter clicking] WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN? 208 00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:06,981 [laughs] HEY, HE'S VERY FUNNY. 209 00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:08,678 ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME A HIGH FIVE. THERE YOU GO. 210 00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:11,551 TAKE A FREE BOX. HERE YOU GO. 211 00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,465 YOU ENJOY. YOU HAVE A NICE AFTERNOON. 212 00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:16,468 OKAY. 213 00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:17,774 [bee buzzing] - DADDY, A BEE! 214 00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:19,123 - WHAT? WHAT? - OH! 215 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:20,385 - GET IT! GET IT! - ALLERGIC! I'M ALLERGIC! 216 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:21,343 - [screams] - OKAY, ALL RIGHT! 217 00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:25,739 [camera shutter clicking] 218 00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,482 DAVID HOBBS. OR, AS WE NOW CALL HIM, 219 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,963 AMERICA'S ANGRIEST DAD EVER, 220 00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:35,096 IS AT IT AGAIN. 221 00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:38,012 WHAT'S WORSE THAN TAKING A LITTLE GIRL'S BOX OF COOKIES? 222 00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:39,927 BEATING HER WITH IT. 223 00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:42,973 SHAME ON YOU! THAT'S A DOUBLE MITCH-SLAP. 224 00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:44,584 [slap, slap] 225 00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:48,892 TRUTH STINGS, DOESN'T IT, DADDY? 226 00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:50,764 DAVID, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A HALF AN HOUR. 227 00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,287 WHY DON'T WE JUST GO SOMEPLACE ELSE? 228 00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:53,897 NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT. 229 00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,595 LOOK, MARIO JUST DOESN'T KNOW THAT WE'RE HERE. 230 00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:02,384 YEAH, YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT. 231 00:10:02,514 --> 00:10:03,559 - DADDY? - MM? 232 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:06,562 YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD IN THAT PICTURE. 233 00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:10,566 THAT'S NOT DAD. IT'S JOHN STAMOS. 234 00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:13,787 [whispering] STAMOS! 235 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:19,009 UH, RIGHT THIS WAY, MR. HOBBS. 236 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:21,969 HEY, UH, MARIO, WHERE'S--WHERE'S MY PICTURE? 237 00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,361 AND WHAT HAPPENED TO MY TABLE? 238 00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:26,147 OH, UH, UM... THIS--THIS IS YOUR TABLE. 239 00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:30,673 I-I JUST MOVED IT, FROM OVER THERE TO OVER HERE. 240 00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:33,067 MORE PRIVACY FOR YOU. 241 00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:37,767 IT'S CLOSER TO THE KITCHEN. THE FOOD, IT COMES OUT HOTTER. 242 00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:41,553 UH-OH. 243 00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:42,990 - NO. - UGH. 244 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,078 DON'T SAY IT. DON'T TELL ME MY SPECIAL'S 245 00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:46,428 OFF THE MENU. - OH, YEAH. 246 00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:50,737 IT LOOKS LIKE THEY SCRATCHED IT OFF WITH A KEY OR A KNIFE. 247 00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:53,043 OH, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. 248 00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:54,654 DAD, DON'T WORRY. I'M SURE EVERYTHING IS FINE. 249 00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:56,438 [sighs] [phone beeps] 250 00:10:56,568 --> 00:11:00,137 SIRI, WHO IS AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE TV DAD? 251 00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:01,922 [phone pings] 252 00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:04,707 FOR TEN YEARS, DAVID HOBBS HAS HELD THAT DISTINCTION. 253 00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,796 HOWEVER, DUE TO RECENT EVENTS... 254 00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:08,493 PLEASE TURN THAT OFF. 255 00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:09,930 DAD, DON'T GET SO ANGRY. 256 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,671 I AM NOT ANGRY. 257 00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:14,848 THE NEAREST ANGER MANAGEMENT CENTER IS .5 MILES. 258 00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:17,154 AND WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT USING THAT DURING FAMILY TIME? 259 00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:18,416 I CAN MAKE YOU AN APPOINTMENT. 260 00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:19,679 YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S IT. 261 00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:20,680 I'M TAKING IT AWAY FROM YOU FOR A WEEK. 262 00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:22,551 - MOM! - DON'T "MOM." 263 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,640 DIALING NOW. 264 00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:28,818 - ANGER MANAGEMENT CENTER. - MAKE IT STOP, HONEY. 265 00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:31,952 HE'LL CALL YOU BACK. OKAY, BYE. 266 00:11:32,082 --> 00:11:33,083 [door bangs] 267 00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:42,702 RESTORE DAVID'S RIGHTFUL PLACE 268 00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,921 AS AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE DAD, TAKE ONE. 269 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:49,752 [grunting] 270 00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:51,014 - NO! GET-- - GIVE ME THAT! 271 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,494 OH! - STOP IT! 272 00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:55,018 DROP THAT PURSE, COWARD! 273 00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,890 [grunts] DAMN IT! 274 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,587 OH! OH. 275 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:03,113 - I'LL SAVE THAT BABY! - [groans] 276 00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:04,375 GET BACK HERE, YOU! 277 00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:07,204 - OH! - THIEF! 278 00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:12,035 [struggling, crashing] 279 00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:14,777 AND CUT! 280 00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:17,606 DID I LOOK HEROIC? 281 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,216 THAT WAS GREAT. 282 00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:20,652 GREAT REHEARSAL. 283 00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:21,828 GOOD JOB. 284 00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,133 - WHOO-WHOO. - ALL RIGHT. 285 00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:25,832 MAN, WHEN WE FILM THIS ON LOCATION AND LEAK IT 286 00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,660 TO THE PRESS, YOUR IMAGE IS GONNA BE BACK ON TRACK. 287 00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:31,141 EXCELLENT. HEY, LISTEN, I-I AD-LIBBED "COWARD," 288 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:32,447 BUT I THINK "DIRTBAG" MIGHT BE STRONGER. 289 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:33,883 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 290 00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:35,885 A GREAT IDEA, DAVID. IT--I MUST HAVE READ YOUR MIND, 291 00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,496 BECAUSE I-I WROTE "DIRTBAG" IN THE SCRIPT. 292 00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,455 - OKAY. - WHAT-- 293 00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:42,283 THAT WAS VERY HEROIC, DAVID, 294 00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:43,414 UNTIL YOU KNOCKED THE BABY OUT THE DOOR. 295 00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:44,938 BUT, NO, STILL VERY HEROIC, 296 00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:48,289 'CAUSE IT'S NOT A REAL BABY, SO-- 297 00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:49,986 LISTEN, PEOPLE, THIS HAS GOT TO WORK, 298 00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:52,423 BECAUSE I'M--I'M STARTING TO LOSE THE PERKS OF BEING ME. 299 00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:55,122 AND WITHOUT MY PERKS I'M, YOU KNOW, JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. 300 00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,471 I-I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THAT. 301 00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,038 ALL RIGHT, OKAY PEOPLE, 302 00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:00,083 LET'S REHEARSE IT ONE MORE TIME, PLEASE. 303 00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,650 BACK TO ONE. LET'S DO THIS. 304 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,652 [phone ringing] 305 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,915 OH, HANG ON, HANG ON. 306 00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,090 YEAH, HANG ON. PHONE. 307 00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:08,918 [phone beeps] HELLO? 308 00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:10,572 [sighs] 309 00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:13,793 EMILY, IT'S FOR YOU! AGAIN! PICK IT UP. 310 00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:16,883 I'M DOING HOMEWORK, DAD. COULD YOU TAKE A MESSAGE? 311 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:19,146 THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON ALL DAY. 312 00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:25,152 [thick accent] JUST TELL HER LISA CALLED. 313 00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:27,197 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 314 00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:29,417 I'M USING MARY'S PHONE TO GET MY PHONE BACK. 315 00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:33,464 I AM THIS CLOSE TO DRIVING DAD TO THE EDGE. 316 00:13:33,595 --> 00:13:35,945 TAKE NOTE. YOU'LL BE DOING IT SOMEDAY. 317 00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:37,599 CAN I TRY? 318 00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:39,296 [deep voice] HI, DADDY. 319 00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:44,258 THIS ISN'T JANIE. 320 00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:49,089 WRONG, AND WAY TOO CREEPY. 321 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:51,743 [phone ringing] 322 00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:54,964 [nasally] THIS IS BRENDA FOR EMILY. 323 00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:58,663 AND THAT'S NOT CREEPY? 324 00:13:58,794 --> 00:14:03,494 - EMILY! - STILL DOING HOMEWORK. 325 00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,235 - ALL RIGHT, YOU READY, DAVID? - OH, YES. 326 00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,629 YES, LET'S GO. - ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS. 327 00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:11,067 AND, ACTION! 328 00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:12,416 [phone ringing] - [grunts] 329 00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:14,070 - CUT! - HANG ON. 330 00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:15,332 THAT WAS GOOD. GOOD TILL THE END, GOOD TILL THERE. 331 00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:16,638 HANG ON A SECOND. 332 00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:18,118 [phone beeps] 333 00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:20,555 YEAH, LOOK, TALK TO HER AT SCHOOL, PLE-- 334 00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:23,384 OH, HI, MRS. BROOKS. 335 00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,603 MIS--NO, MRS. BROOKS. 336 00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:26,866 YOU--YOU CAN'T BELIEVE 337 00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:31,522 EVERYTHING YOU READ IN THE TABLOIDS. 338 00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:32,872 OKAY, FINE. 339 00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:34,438 IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU FEEL, I UNDERSTAND. 340 00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:36,919 ALL RIGHT, GOOD-BYE. [phone beeps] 341 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,268 JANIE'S PLAYDATE JUST CANCELED. 342 00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:41,532 THAT'S WHY WE'RE GETTING OUT IN FRONT OF THIS, MAN. 343 00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:43,447 RUN, JOE, RUN! 344 00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:46,233 AND PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE, YOU BUNCH OF BULLIES! 345 00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:51,238 WHAT HAPPENED? 346 00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:52,935 JOE WAS GETTING AMBUSHED ON THE FRONT LAWN, 347 00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:55,416 AND I HAD TO JUMP IN AND SAVE HIM. 348 00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,026 THE OLDER KIDS PICKING ON YOU, JOE? 349 00:14:57,157 --> 00:15:02,989 NO. IT WAS THE BLUE BONNETS. 350 00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:04,381 THEY'RE TOUGH, DAVID. 351 00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:06,470 I HAD FOUR OF THEM JUST CLAWING ON TO ME 352 00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:09,038 LIKE A BUNCH OF ANGRY KOALA BEARS, JUST-- 353 00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:10,213 YEAH. 354 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,389 THEY YELLED, "REVENGE!" 355 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:16,959 AND THEN THEY STARTED STUFFING COOKIES DOWN MY PANTS. 356 00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:18,961 IS--IS THIS ABOUT THE BEE THING? 357 00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:20,528 YEAH. BUT THE JOKE'S ON THEM. 358 00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:22,399 I LOVE WARM COOKIES. 359 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:28,797 DADDY, WHEN'S MY FRIEND MOLLY COMING OVER? 360 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:33,236 OH, UM, MOLLY'S MOM JUST CANCELED THE PLAYDATE. 361 00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:36,892 WHY, DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG? 362 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,287 NO. 363 00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:44,160 NO, YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, HONEY. 364 00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:45,509 MARCUS, THIS PRODUCTION IS OVER. 365 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,729 LOOK, MY KIDS ARE STARTING TO GET HURT NOW, OKAY? 366 00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:50,384 NO MORE GAMES. I GOTTA PUT A STOP TO THIS. 367 00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:52,212 AND, JOE, A QUICK LIFE LESSON. 368 00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:53,735 DON'T EAT COOKIES OUT OF YOUR UNDERWEAR. 369 00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:58,827 GOT IT. STARTING NOW. 370 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,002 - DAD. - THANK YOU. YES? 371 00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:01,917 THE PHOTOGRAPHER GUY'S HERE AGAIN. 372 00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,440 I KNOW THAT, JOE. THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE. 373 00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,790 AS SOON AS MOM SHOWS UP, I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF HIM. 374 00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:07,357 WHY DO YOU NEED MOMMY? 375 00:16:07,488 --> 00:16:09,011 WELL, BECAUSE MOMMY IS LEVEL-HEADED, 376 00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:11,448 AND SHE WON'T LET THINGS GET OUT OF CONTROL. 377 00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:14,886 HOW DARE YOU! YOU PAPARAZZI BOTTOM-FEEDERS! 378 00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:17,063 DO YOU VULTURES HAVE ANY IDEA OF THE HEARTACHE 379 00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:18,542 YOU CAUSE WITH YOUR LIES? 380 00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:21,284 MY HUSBAND? HE'S A GOOD, GOOD MAN, OKAY? 381 00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:25,636 AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED! 382 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,508 PLEASE DON'T HURT ME. 383 00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,510 I WAS JUST TAKING A PICTURE OF MY PARENTS. 384 00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:36,647 WE'RE VISITING FROM MINNESOTA. 385 00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:41,130 THEY'VE GOT A STAMOS SPECIAL. 386 00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:44,960 VEAL, LEMON, CAPERS. 387 00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:48,137 THAT'S PICCATA. WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT THAT? 388 00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:52,011 MM, STAMOS. 389 00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:58,060 [phone ringing] 390 00:16:58,191 --> 00:17:00,410 HELLO? 391 00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:03,239 HELLO, MARY. 392 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,285 SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WEARING TO SCHOOL TOMORROW. 393 00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:08,244 TELL HER MY YELLOW BLOUSE WITH THE FRINGE. 394 00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:09,637 N-NO, TELL HER 395 00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:11,552 THE BABY BLUE LONG SLEEVE WITH THE SPARKLY-- 396 00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:12,640 MARY? MARY? SHE WILL CALL YOU BACK. 397 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:16,383 GOOD-BYE. 398 00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:18,646 EMILY, I'M GIVING THIS BACK TO YOU. 399 00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:21,562 ONLY BECAUSE I THINK THAT YOU'VE LEARNED YOUR LESSON, OKAY? 400 00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:23,477 - ABSOLUTELY. LESSON LEARNED. - ALL RIGHT. 401 00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:26,958 HONEY? I'M THINKING WE SHOULD TAKE THE FOOD TO GO. 402 00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:28,134 - WHAT? - OUT THE BACK. 403 00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:29,439 GOOD IDEA. 404 00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:31,398 YEAH, THEY DON'T EVEN BRING US BREAD ANYMORE. 405 00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:33,574 - THEY TREAT US LIKE POO. - WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE. 406 00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:35,228 WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 407 00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:37,186 LOOK, IF I CAN TEACH YOU ANYTHING, 408 00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,232 IT'S TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, OKAY? 409 00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:40,450 NOW, SIT DOWN. 410 00:17:40,581 --> 00:17:43,105 [sighing] 411 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,107 'CAUSE IT'S TIME TO STAND UP. 412 00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:48,415 NO, REALLY, JUST SIT DOWN. 413 00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:49,807 I'M GONNA STAND UP FOR YOU GUYS. 414 00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:53,289 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 415 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,770 IT'S AMERICA'S ANGRIEST DAD! DON'T HURT ME. 416 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:56,814 [childish voice] DON'T HURT ME. 417 00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:58,512 OH, WAIT, I FORGOT. 418 00:17:58,642 --> 00:17:59,948 I'M NOT A CHILD, SO I MUST BE SAFE. 419 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,124 THAT'S VERY FUNNY. 420 00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:05,301 LISTEN, I-I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WANT TO TAKE SHOTS AT ME. 421 00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:06,998 THAT'S FINE. THAT'S PART OF OUR GAME, 422 00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,609 AND I CAN TAKE IT. 423 00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:12,308 BUT WHEN IT STARTS AFFECTING MY KIDS... 424 00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:13,744 [clicks tongue] WE GOT A PROBLEM. 425 00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:16,312 LOOK, WE BOTH KNOW HOW THIS WORKS. 426 00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:18,880 IF I WANTED TO TAKE WHOLESOME AND SWEET PICTURES 427 00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:20,925 OF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, I'D WORK AT THE MALL. 428 00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:22,927 AND I'D BE POOR. 429 00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:25,582 BUT MANIPULATING SHOTS TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE 430 00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:29,325 THE WORST PARENT EVER ALLOWS ME TO DRIVE A MASERATI 431 00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:30,761 AND DATE A MODEL... 432 00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:34,374 SLASH-ACTRESS. 433 00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:38,856 [New Jersey accent] NOT BAD FOR A GUY FROM JERSEY, RIGHT? 434 00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:41,946 YOU GOTTA GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT. 435 00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:47,343 ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SMILE AND SAY "CHEESE," MY FRIEND. 436 00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:49,519 MM-HMM-HMM. 437 00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:55,351 [coughs, chokes] 438 00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:00,704 [choking and grunting] 439 00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:05,970 [grunts, gags] 440 00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:07,058 OH! - HANG ON, ONE MORE HIT. 441 00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:08,364 OH! 442 00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:11,237 YOU OKAY? ALL RIGHT, JUST HAVE A SEAT. 443 00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,281 CATCH YOUR BREATH, THERE YOU GO. 444 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:13,500 HE'S OKAY, EVERYBODY. - WHOO! 445 00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,371 - RIGHT, RIGHT, MITCH? - ALL RIGHT, YES! 446 00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:18,461 [applause] YAY! ALL RIGHT, YES! 447 00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:20,550 - THANK YOU. - MARIO! 448 00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:21,595 YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT MY HUSBAND'S HEAD SHOT 449 00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:22,770 BACK UP ON THAT WALL. 450 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,686 I DON'T SEE STAMOS HERE SAVING LIVES. 451 00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:27,470 I WAS JUST ENJOYING MY DINNER 452 00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:31,039 WHEN OUT OF NOWHERE MR. HOBBS ATTACKED ME. 453 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,475 [camera shutter clicking] 454 00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:35,435 IT WAS BLOODY DREADFUL. 455 00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:37,959 THIS IS AMAZING. I-I CAN'T WIN WITH THIS GUY. 456 00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:40,440 ALL RIGHT, HE'S TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD FOR SAVING HIS LIFE. 457 00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:43,182 DAD, DON'T WORRY. KARMA'S A MITCH. 458 00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:45,053 LOOK, WE BOTH KNOW HOW THIS WORKS. 459 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,359 IF I WANTED TO TAKE 460 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,274 SWEET AND WHOLESOME PICTURES 461 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:50,101 OF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, I'D WORK AT THE MALL. 462 00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:52,103 AND I'D BE POOR. 463 00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:54,584 BUT MANIPULATING SHOTS TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE 464 00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:58,197 THE WORST PARENT EVER ALLOWS ME TO DRIVE A MASERATI 465 00:19:58,327 --> 00:20:01,200 AND DATE A MODEL. - YOU RECORDED THAT? 466 00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:02,592 YEAH. AND, THANKS TO MY PHONE, 467 00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:04,420 IT'S ALREADY UPLOADED AND TRENDING. 468 00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:07,162 OH! YES! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, 469 00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:09,947 BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH. 470 00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:11,210 SEE, I KNEW I DID THE RIGHT THING 471 00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:12,950 BUYING YOU THAT PHONE, HONEY. RIGHT? 472 00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:16,519 AMY HOBBS SEEMS TO BE ANGRY ALL THE DAYS. 473 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,304 THAT'S RIGHT, MS. HOBBS. 474 00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:20,871 YOU'VE BEEN MITCH-SLAPPED. [slap] 475 00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:24,223 - I'M SORRY. - FOR WHAT? 476 00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:25,659 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? 477 00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:29,706 OH, I MATTER! 478 00:20:29,837 --> 00:20:31,055 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. - WHAT? 479 00:20:31,186 --> 00:20:32,448 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 480 00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:34,276 I'M GONNA STRIKE WHILE THE IRON'S HOT, BABY. 481 00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:36,974 I'M GONNA GO KICK A PUPPY AT THE MALL. 482 00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:38,628 SIT DOWN, HONEY. COME ON. 483 00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:40,282 THEY'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT ME IN A MINUTE.