1
00:00:08,767 --> 00:00:10,320
SECURITY SYSTEM
SHOULD BE GOOD AS NEW, SIR.
2
00:00:10,424 --> 00:00:11,873
EXCELLENT.
WHAT WAS THE PROBLEM?
3
00:00:11,977 --> 00:00:13,599
WAS THERE A POWER SURGE
IN THE MAINFRAME?
4
00:00:13,703 --> 00:00:15,843
OR A MALFUNCTION
IN THE MOTHERBOARD?
5
00:00:15,946 --> 00:00:18,880
UNNECESSARY
THINGY JIGGLING.
6
00:00:18,984 --> 00:00:20,951
SHE DOES NOT LIKE
HER THINGY JIGGLED.
7
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:23,161
OKAY.
8
00:00:23,264 --> 00:00:26,612
SO HOW ARE YOU LIKING
THE VIDEO SURVEILLANCE?
9
00:00:26,716 --> 00:00:29,270
VIDEO SURVEILLANCE?
10
00:00:29,374 --> 00:00:30,651
DIDN'T YOU READ HER MANUAL?
11
00:00:30,754 --> 00:00:33,688
NO.
THERE'S TOO MANY WORDS.
12
00:00:33,792 --> 00:00:35,414
YOU'RE WIRED THROUGH THE WHOLE
FIRST FLOOR OF THE HOUSE
13
00:00:35,518 --> 00:00:36,208
WITH HIDDEN CAMERAS.
14
00:00:43,629 --> 00:00:46,046
WAIT A MINUTE.
15
00:00:46,149 --> 00:00:49,704
ARE YOU TELLING ME
THAT I CAN WATCH MY FAMILY
16
00:00:49,808 --> 00:00:51,844
WITHOUT THEM KNOWING IT?
17
00:00:51,948 --> 00:00:54,019
IT'S MEANT TO MONITOR
CRIMINAL ACTIVITY.
18
00:00:54,123 --> 00:00:55,745
WHAT AM I, BATMAN?
19
00:00:55,848 --> 00:00:58,127
I'M GONNA USE THIS
TO SPY ON MY KIDS.
20
00:00:58,230 --> 00:01:01,233
I MEAN, WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL
LURKS IN THEIR LITTLE HEARTS?
21
00:01:01,337 --> 00:01:04,616
WAIT, MAYBE I AM BATMAN.
22
00:01:04,719 --> 00:01:07,550
YOU CAN WATCH FROM
ANY COMPUTER OR SMART PHONE.
23
00:01:07,653 --> 00:01:11,554
OH.
DO ME, DO ME.
24
00:01:11,657 --> 00:01:13,590
IT'S TIME FOR MY
SUPER SUGAR SNAPS.
25
00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:15,109
THERE'S NO MORE LEFT.
26
00:01:15,213 --> 00:01:17,491
THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK.
27
00:01:17,594 --> 00:01:21,495
YOU AND THE MONKEY
NEED TO LOOK AWAY.
28
00:01:21,598 --> 00:01:23,497
THIS IS AWESOME!
29
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,119
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
30
00:01:25,223 --> 00:01:26,293
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
31
00:01:26,396 --> 00:01:28,709
THIS IS THE HOLY GRAIL
OF PARENTING.
32
00:01:28,812 --> 00:01:30,228
I MEAN, THIS IS
THE GREATEST INVENTION
33
00:01:30,331 --> 00:01:32,782
SINCE "BECAUSE I SAID SO."
34
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,757
WOW, YOU'RE A WIZARD.
35
00:01:42,861 --> 00:01:43,931
THERE'S ONLY
ONE OTHER PERSON
36
00:01:44,034 --> 00:01:46,209
WHO ENJOYS SUPER SUGAR SNAPS
AS MUCH AS ME,
37
00:01:46,313 --> 00:01:48,280
AND THAT'S MARY.
38
00:01:48,384 --> 00:01:49,592
I LIKE 'EM.
39
00:01:49,695 --> 00:01:51,180
NOT LIKE MARY.
40
00:01:51,283 --> 00:01:52,422
WHEN SHE EATS 'EM,
41
00:01:52,526 --> 00:01:56,150
HER EYES SPARKLE
AND HER HAIR BOUNCES.
42
00:01:56,254 --> 00:01:58,739
OOH, SOMEBODY LIKES MARY.
43
00:01:58,842 --> 00:02:00,189
NO, I DON'T.
44
00:02:00,292 --> 00:02:01,742
OKAY, OKAY, I LIKE HER.
45
00:02:01,845 --> 00:02:03,571
BUT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW
I'M GONNA GET HER ATTENTION.
46
00:02:03,675 --> 00:02:05,366
I'M JUST PLAIN JOE.
47
00:02:05,470 --> 00:02:08,542
NO ARGUMENT HERE.
48
00:02:12,511 --> 00:02:13,719
WHERE'S YOUR DAD?
49
00:02:13,823 --> 00:02:15,204
I HAVE HIS COFFEE
AND BAGEL.
50
00:02:15,307 --> 00:02:16,550
UM, HE ALREADY GOT 'EM.
51
00:02:16,653 --> 00:02:17,896
HE HAD AN APPOINTMENT
WITH A GUY.
52
00:02:17,999 --> 00:02:21,934
WHAT GUY?
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT A GUY.
53
00:02:22,038 --> 00:02:23,626
OR AN APPOINTMENT.
54
00:02:23,729 --> 00:02:26,732
I'M THE GUY
WHO MAKES THE APPOINTMENTS.
55
00:02:26,836 --> 00:02:28,734
DAD SAYS THE SYSTEM
IS BROKEN.
56
00:02:28,838 --> 00:02:30,633
THE SYSTEM IS FINE.
57
00:02:30,736 --> 00:02:33,083
I BRING THE COFFEE,
I BRING THE BAGELS.
58
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:37,260
HOW COULD HE BRING
ANOTHER MAN INTO OUR HOUSE?
59
00:02:37,364 --> 00:02:39,504
THIS IS AWKWARD.
60
00:02:42,092 --> 00:02:43,784
YOU ARE FANTASTIC.
61
00:02:43,887 --> 00:02:47,167
I SHOULDA CALLED YOU
YEARS AGO.
62
00:02:47,270 --> 00:02:49,169
DANNY, YOU'RE MY GUY.
63
00:02:49,272 --> 00:02:50,515
I'M HERE FOR YOU 24/7.
64
00:02:50,618 --> 00:02:53,414
WE'RE GONNA BE GOOD FRIENDS,
ME AND YOU.
65
00:02:58,074 --> 00:03:01,388
I'VE BEEN OUTSOURCED.
66
00:03:27,379 --> 00:03:29,001
WHAT ARE YOU EATING, JOE?
67
00:03:29,105 --> 00:03:30,175
SUPER SUGAR SNAPS.
68
00:03:30,279 --> 00:03:32,108
BUT THERE'S NONE LEFT.
69
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:36,354
OH, YOU KNOW, I BET YOU
THAT I CAN FIND MORE.
70
00:03:39,736 --> 00:03:42,222
YOU KNOW,
IF I WAS A BOX OF CEREAL,
71
00:03:42,325 --> 00:03:44,983
WHERE WOULD I HIDE?
72
00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:51,541
BOOM.
73
00:03:51,645 --> 00:03:53,957
HOW'D YOU DO THAT?
74
00:03:54,061 --> 00:03:55,614
BECAUSE I AM THE GREAT
AND POWERFUL HOBBS.
75
00:03:55,718 --> 00:03:58,859
I SEE ALL.
I KNOW ALL.
76
00:03:58,962 --> 00:04:01,068
THEN YOU'RE JUST THE MAN
I NEED TO TALK TO.
77
00:04:01,171 --> 00:04:04,313
OH, WAIT, DON'T TELL ME,
DON'T TELL ME.
78
00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:09,939
IT'S ABOUT A GIRL.
79
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:10,905
WHOA.
80
00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:12,562
AND IF I'M GUESSING RIGHT,
81
00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:15,565
IT'S AN OLDER GIRL.
82
00:04:15,669 --> 00:04:16,842
WOW, YOU'RE AMAZING.
83
00:04:16,946 --> 00:04:18,396
YOU WANT TO GET
HER ATTENTION.
84
00:04:18,499 --> 00:04:19,569
YEAH.
85
00:04:19,673 --> 00:04:20,812
OKAY, ALL RIGHT,
JOE, HERE'S THE SECRET.
86
00:04:20,915 --> 00:04:22,365
WHEN IT COMES
TO GETTING WOMEN,
87
00:04:22,469 --> 00:04:25,161
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE HAIR,
RIGHT?
88
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:29,303
THAT'S WHY I USE A VERY GOOD
MOISTURIZING CONDITIONER.
89
00:04:29,407 --> 00:04:31,926
WHICH IS WHY {\an8}US WEEKLY
VOTED ME "BEST CELEBRITY HAIR."
90
00:04:32,030 --> 00:04:34,481
DIDN'T YOU TIE
WITH JOHN STAMOS?
91
00:04:34,584 --> 00:04:35,654
IT'S COMPLICATED, JOE.
92
00:04:35,758 --> 00:04:36,621
MY LAWYER SAID
I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT
93
00:04:36,724 --> 00:04:37,932
TILL THE CASE IS CLOSED.
94
00:04:38,036 --> 00:04:39,520
NOW LISTEN,
THERE'S AN EXPRESSION
95
00:04:39,624 --> 00:04:42,247
FROM MY MUCH-BELOVED EPISODE, {\an8}
DANCE LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING.
96
00:04:42,351 --> 00:04:43,317
WHAT IS IT?
97
00:04:43,421 --> 00:04:45,664
DANCE LIKE
NO ONE'S WATCHING.
98
00:04:45,768 --> 00:04:47,356
I LIKE IT.
99
00:04:47,459 --> 00:04:48,426
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
100
00:04:48,529 --> 00:04:49,668
UH, ALL RIGHT.
101
00:04:49,772 --> 00:04:50,980
WELL,
REMEMBER LAST HALLOWEEN
102
00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:52,464
WHEN YOU WANTED TO GO
AS A SMURF
103
00:04:52,568 --> 00:04:54,190
AND YOU HAD
YOUR "A-HA" MOMENT?
104
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,641
OH, YEAH, I THREW ON
EMILY'S FIELD HOCKEY SKIRT,
105
00:04:56,744 --> 00:04:58,159
AND I WENT
AS BRAVEHEART INSTEAD.
106
00:04:58,263 --> 00:05:00,438
RIGHT, AND REMEMBER HOW
ALL THE KIDS LAUGHED AT YOU?
107
00:05:00,541 --> 00:05:01,577
NO!
108
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,026
OH, UM, NO,
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
109
00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:05,270
LOOK, THE IMPORTANT THING
HERE IS THAT--
110
00:05:05,374 --> 00:05:08,791
IS THAT YOU HAD THE COURAGE
TO DO YOUR OWN THING.
111
00:05:08,894 --> 00:05:10,862
SEE, BY JUST
BEING YOURSELF, JOE,
112
00:05:10,965 --> 00:05:12,760
YOU WILL ATTRACT
THE WOMEN.
113
00:05:12,864 --> 00:05:15,107
- THANKS, DAD.
- ALL RIGHT.
114
00:05:15,211 --> 00:05:16,143
AND NOBODY LAUGHED AT YOU
115
00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:17,731
WHEN YOU WERE DRESSED
AS BRAVEHEART.
116
00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:19,905
I DIDN'T THINK THEY DID.
117
00:05:21,942 --> 00:05:23,702
OH.
118
00:05:26,187 --> 00:05:29,121
I LOVE YOU, EMILY,
BUT THE ANSWER IS NO.
119
00:05:29,225 --> 00:05:30,916
I'M FINE WITH YOU
LOVING ME A LITTLE LESS
120
00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:32,711
IF THAT MEANS
I CAN THROW A PARTY.
121
00:05:32,815 --> 00:05:33,954
SO YOU'D RATHER
THROW A PARTY
122
00:05:34,057 --> 00:05:35,265
THAN HAVE A GOOD
RELATIONSHIP WITH ME?
123
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:38,027
PLEASE DON'T ANSWER THAT.
124
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:39,028
FINE.
125
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:42,065
I GET IT.
YOU DON'T TRUST ME.
126
00:05:42,169 --> 00:05:43,791
OH, I DO TRUST YOU.
127
00:05:43,895 --> 00:05:45,828
MAYBE IT'S YOU
WHO DOESN'T TRUST ME.
128
00:05:45,931 --> 00:05:47,174
HMM?
129
00:05:47,277 --> 00:05:48,175
HMM.
130
00:05:48,278 --> 00:05:49,659
OOH, REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY.
131
00:05:49,763 --> 00:05:51,005
I'M GONNA ASK DAD.
132
00:05:51,109 --> 00:05:52,282
FINE, YOU GO AHEAD.
YOU ASK HIM.
133
00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:53,836
BUT HE WILL JUST TELL YOU
HOW THESE HOUSE PARTIES
134
00:05:53,939 --> 00:05:55,009
GET OUT OF CONTROL, OKAY?
135
00:05:55,113 --> 00:05:57,564
PEOPLE TEXT,
STRANGERS SHOW UP,
136
00:05:57,667 --> 00:05:58,875
AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
SOMEBODY'S FILMING
137
00:05:58,979 --> 00:06:01,878
A {\an8}HOBBS GONE WILD VIDEO,
OKAY?
138
00:06:01,982 --> 00:06:03,742
OH, PERFECT TIMING.
139
00:06:03,846 --> 00:06:05,813
DAD, CAN I THROW A PARTY?
140
00:06:05,917 --> 00:06:07,712
AND DON'T LOOK AT MOM.
141
00:06:07,815 --> 00:06:08,954
OH, I DON'T KNOW, EMILY.
142
00:06:09,058 --> 00:06:11,129
THESE PARTIES GET OUT
OF CONTROL, YOU KNOW?
143
00:06:11,232 --> 00:06:14,097
PEOPLE START TEXTING,
STRANGERS SHOW UP.
144
00:06:14,201 --> 00:06:17,963
PRETTY SOON, YOU'RE SHOOTING
A {\an8}HOBBS GONE WILD VIDEO.
145
00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:21,657
THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT MOM SAID.
146
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,142
EXACTLY.
147
00:06:24,245 --> 00:06:26,247
WELL, HOWEVER, YOUR MOM
AND I WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS IT.
148
00:06:26,351 --> 00:06:27,663
- YOU WOULD?
- MM-HMM.
149
00:06:27,766 --> 00:06:29,837
WE WOULD?
150
00:06:29,941 --> 00:06:31,977
TAKE ALL THE TIME
YOU NEED.
151
00:06:33,703 --> 00:06:36,775
YOU WANNA FILL ME IN
ON THIS "HOWEVER"?
152
00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:40,296
TO THE BATCAVE.
153
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,884
VIDEO SURVEILLANCE?
154
00:06:41,987 --> 00:06:43,333
YOU'RE SAYING IT WRONG.
155
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:45,784
IT'S {\an8}VIDEO SURVEILLANCE!
156
00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:48,856
WE'RE SPYING ON OUR KIDS.
157
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,237
AGAIN,
YOU'RE SAYING IT WRONG.
158
00:06:50,340 --> 00:06:53,102
WE'RE {\an8}SPYING ON OUR KIDS!
159
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:54,103
DON'T YOU SEE THIS?
160
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:56,139
AMY, WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL,
161
00:06:56,243 --> 00:06:58,970
THIS WONDERFUL LITTLE
TECHNOLOGICAL DREAM,
162
00:06:59,073 --> 00:07:00,765
WE GET TO STAY THREE TO FOUR
STEPS AHEAD OF OUR KIDS
163
00:07:00,868 --> 00:07:02,560
IN THE PARENTING GAME.
164
00:07:02,663 --> 00:07:05,183
EH...IT KINDA FEELS
LIKE CHEATING.
165
00:07:05,286 --> 00:07:06,460
IT'S NOT CHEATING.
166
00:07:06,564 --> 00:07:07,668
IT'S EVENING THE SCORE.
167
00:07:07,772 --> 00:07:09,014
DON'T YOU SEE,
168
00:07:09,118 --> 00:07:10,257
WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL
LITTLE THING RIGHT HERE,
169
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,603
WE'RE THE GOOD GUYS.
170
00:07:11,707 --> 00:07:13,122
EMILY GETS
TO THROW HER PARTY.
171
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:16,919
SHE GETS AWAY WITH NOTHING.
IT'S WIN-WIN.
172
00:07:17,022 --> 00:07:18,610
OOH, WAIT, JOE AND EMILY
ARE IN SECTOR THREE.
173
00:07:18,714 --> 00:07:19,749
THAT'S THE KITCHEN.
174
00:07:19,853 --> 00:07:22,027
YOU HAVE SECTORS,
REALLY?
175
00:07:22,131 --> 00:07:25,479
YEAH,
IT SOUNDS MORE BATMAN-Y.
176
00:07:25,583 --> 00:07:27,723
YOU KNOW, MOM IS NEVER
GONNA LET ME HAVE A PARTY.
177
00:07:27,826 --> 00:07:29,518
AND THERE'S NO WAY
DAD CAN CONVINCE HER.
178
00:07:29,621 --> 00:07:31,174
HE IS CLUELESS!
179
00:07:31,278 --> 00:07:35,213
BUT HE DOES GIVE GOOD ADVICE
ABOUT THE LADIES.
180
00:07:35,316 --> 00:07:39,010
HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU
NEVER TO SAY "LADIES."
181
00:07:39,113 --> 00:07:40,770
BUT HE PROBABLY
JUST QUOTED SOMETHING
182
00:07:40,874 --> 00:07:42,738
FROM ONE OF HIS
MUCH-BELOVED EPISODES,
183
00:07:42,841 --> 00:07:44,947
'CAUSE EVERYTHING ELSE
GOES RIGHT OVER HIS HEAD.
184
00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:46,949
WHOOSH!
185
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:51,781
NOTHING'S GONNA BE WHOOSHING
OVER THIS GUY'S HEAD ANYMORE.
186
00:07:51,885 --> 00:07:53,438
SPEAKING OF HIS HEAD,
187
00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:55,026
DOESN'T HE TALK
ABOUT HIS HAIR A LOT?
188
00:07:55,129 --> 00:07:57,615
"IF THERE'S ONE THING
I'VE LEARNED AS AN ACTOR..."
189
00:07:57,718 --> 00:08:00,238
all: "YOU GOTTA
KEEP YOUR HAIR."
190
00:08:02,102 --> 00:08:04,518
IT'S TRUE.
191
00:08:04,622 --> 00:08:05,692
OKAY, SWEETHEART,
THIS WAS FUN,
192
00:08:05,795 --> 00:08:07,072
BUT PLEASE TURN IT OFF, YEAH.
193
00:08:07,176 --> 00:08:09,489
WHAT ABOUT MOM?
SHE IS SO UPTIGHT.
194
00:08:09,592 --> 00:08:11,836
PLEASE TURN IT UP.
195
00:08:11,939 --> 00:08:13,354
I'M NOT THAT UPTIGHT.
AM I?
196
00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:15,115
I MEAN,
EVEN IF I USED TO BE,
197
00:08:15,218 --> 00:08:18,049
I'M MUCH LOOSER NOW THAT
I'M BACK AT WORK, RIGHT?
198
00:08:18,152 --> 00:08:19,568
AND SHE'S EVEN
MORE OF A TIGHT-BUTT
199
00:08:19,671 --> 00:08:21,017
NOW THAT SHE'S
BACK AT WORK.
200
00:08:21,121 --> 00:08:22,985
OH, NO,
NOT MY LITTLE JOE-JOE.
201
00:08:23,088 --> 00:08:24,849
IT'S ALWAYS,
"MOM, CAN I?"
202
00:08:24,952 --> 00:08:26,022
"NO!"
203
00:08:26,126 --> 00:08:27,127
"MOM, CAN I?"
204
00:08:27,230 --> 00:08:28,784
"NO!"
205
00:08:28,887 --> 00:08:30,717
MY PEANUT TOO!
206
00:08:30,820 --> 00:08:31,994
YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS
ISN'T FOR EVERYBODY.
207
00:08:32,097 --> 00:08:34,099
NO, NO, NO, DAVID,
I CAN TAKE IT.
208
00:08:34,203 --> 00:08:35,756
IN FACT, YOU'RE RIGHT.
209
00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:37,896
WE'RE GONNA LET HER
HAVE THIS PARTY,
210
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,242
AND SHE'S GONNA SEE
BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 7:00
211
00:08:39,346 --> 00:08:41,831
AND NOT A MINUTE PAST 10:00
THAT I AM NO TIGHT-BUTT.
212
00:08:41,935 --> 00:08:43,074
OKAY, PLUS,
WITH THIS BAD BOY,
213
00:08:43,177 --> 00:08:45,455
THEY'RE NOT GONNA
GET AWAY WITH SQUAT.
214
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:46,664
YEAH.
215
00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:48,458
WELCOME TO THE DARK SIDE, BATGIRL.
216
00:08:55,396 --> 00:08:57,295
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.
217
00:08:57,398 --> 00:08:58,952
HASHTAG, O.M.G.
218
00:08:59,055 --> 00:09:00,125
I KNOW,
AND MY PARENTS
219
00:09:00,229 --> 00:09:01,679
PROMISED TO STAY
IN THEIR ROOM ALL NIGHT.
220
00:09:01,782 --> 00:09:05,683
HASHTAG, PAR-TAY!
221
00:09:05,786 --> 00:09:07,063
THAT'S RIGHT, EMILY.
222
00:09:07,167 --> 00:09:09,721
WE'RE JUST UP HERE
COMPLETELY IN THE DARK.
223
00:09:11,723 --> 00:09:14,795
HASHTAG, WHOOSH.
224
00:09:14,899 --> 00:09:16,314
OH-OH.
225
00:09:16,417 --> 00:09:18,730
ME AND YOUR DADDY
ARE JUST UP HERE DOING OUR HAIR.
226
00:09:18,834 --> 00:09:20,870
- YOU WANT TO?
- SWEETIE.
227
00:09:20,974 --> 00:09:23,632
OH.
228
00:09:23,735 --> 00:09:26,600
EVENING, LADIES.
229
00:09:26,704 --> 00:09:28,637
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
230
00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:31,881
YOU KNOW, MARY, WHEN A MAN
REACHES A CERTAIN AGE,
231
00:09:31,985 --> 00:09:34,608
HE WANTS
TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.
232
00:09:34,712 --> 00:09:37,128
STEP BACK UP, BUDDY.
TOP STEP'S YOUR FRIEND.
233
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,859
I'M NOW CONSIDERED
A TWEENER.
234
00:09:43,962 --> 00:09:45,619
YOU'RE NOW CONSIDERED
A WEINER.
235
00:09:45,723 --> 00:09:47,138
GO!
236
00:09:51,521 --> 00:09:53,454
YOU GUYS
ARE HAVING A PARTY?
237
00:09:53,558 --> 00:09:55,733
I TOLD YOU
WE'RE NOT INVITED.
238
00:09:55,836 --> 00:09:59,737
YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT.
239
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,462
BYE, JANIE.
240
00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:03,154
WHY DON'T WE HAVE
OUR OWN TEA PARTY,
241
00:10:03,257 --> 00:10:04,604
AND YOU'RE ALL INVITED.
242
00:10:04,707 --> 00:10:07,020
EVEN YOU, SAD CLOWN.
243
00:10:07,123 --> 00:10:09,022
REALLY?
244
00:10:09,125 --> 00:10:10,886
I COULD ACTUALLY GO
FOR A CUP OF FAKE TEA
245
00:10:10,989 --> 00:10:14,510
AND A TINY SHOULDER
TO CRY ON.
246
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,373
OH, WAIT, ZOOM IN.
247
00:10:15,476 --> 00:10:16,546
ZOOM IN.
248
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:17,651
WHY?
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
249
00:10:17,755 --> 00:10:20,067
I THINK MATTHEW
BROUGHT CUPCAKES.
250
00:10:22,345 --> 00:10:24,865
HE'S SO HOT.
I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU.
251
00:10:24,969 --> 00:10:26,108
I KNOW,
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
252
00:10:26,211 --> 00:10:27,696
SINCE I STARTED
DATING MATTHEW.
253
00:10:27,799 --> 00:10:29,801
I THINK IT'S FINALLY
GONNA HAPPEN TONIGHT.
254
00:10:29,905 --> 00:10:31,354
WHAT'S
GONNA HAPPEN TONIGHT?
255
00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:32,562
SHH, SHH, SHH.
256
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:33,667
DON'T JUMP
TO ANY CONCLUSIONS.
257
00:10:33,771 --> 00:10:35,220
IT COULD BE ANYTHING.
258
00:10:35,324 --> 00:10:38,016
SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS HAVE
BEEN HANGING OUT FOR TWO MONTHS.
259
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,087
I'M KINDA SURPRISED
IT'S TAKEN SO LONG.
260
00:10:40,191 --> 00:10:41,917
HE'S MAKING SUCH
A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT.
261
00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:45,127
I WISH HE'D JUST GO FOR IT.
262
00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:46,956
I'M GONNA SAY YES.
263
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:47,785
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
264
00:10:47,888 --> 00:10:49,062
TURN IT UP, TURN IT UP.
265
00:10:49,165 --> 00:10:50,615
NO, DON'T--
DON'T TOUCH IT.
266
00:10:50,719 --> 00:10:52,928
YOU MUTED IT.
- WHAT?
267
00:10:53,031 --> 00:10:56,276
DON'T EVER TOUCH
THE BATCAVE.
268
00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:58,278
WELL, IF MATTHEW
EVER WORKS UP THE NERVE,
269
00:10:58,381 --> 00:11:00,832
YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONLY
FRESHMAN AT THE JUNIOR PROM.
270
00:11:00,936 --> 00:11:02,972
ARE YOU SURE
HE'S GONNA ASK YOU TONIGHT?
271
00:11:03,076 --> 00:11:03,973
I THINK SO.
272
00:11:04,077 --> 00:11:05,319
ALL RIGHT, THERE,
IT'S BACK ON.
273
00:11:05,423 --> 00:11:06,493
OKAY.
274
00:11:06,596 --> 00:11:08,012
I JUST HAVE
TO GET HIM ALONE.
275
00:11:08,115 --> 00:11:09,530
EVERY GIRL IN CLASS
IS ROOTING FOR YOU
276
00:11:09,634 --> 00:11:11,291
TO LAND THAT BIG BOY.
277
00:11:11,394 --> 00:11:16,020
WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL ARE WE
SENDING OUR DAUGHTER TO?
278
00:11:16,123 --> 00:11:18,263
IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S
THE ONLY ONE WHO'S ASKED ME.
279
00:11:18,367 --> 00:11:21,473
I'VE ALREADY TURNED DOWN
A BUNCH OF GUYS.
280
00:11:21,577 --> 00:11:23,717
I'M SAVING MYSELF FOR HIM.
281
00:11:23,821 --> 00:11:25,685
ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S IT.
282
00:11:25,788 --> 00:11:27,307
I'M GONNA GO DOWN THERE--
283
00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:28,653
DAVID, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
284
00:11:28,757 --> 00:11:29,896
NO, WE CAN'T LET HER KNOW
WE WERE SPYING ON HER.
285
00:11:29,999 --> 00:11:31,380
SHE WON'T EVER
TRUST US AGAIN.
286
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,554
AMY,
I'M A PROFESSIONAL ACTOR.
287
00:11:33,658 --> 00:11:35,902
YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE
A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE
288
00:11:36,005 --> 00:11:37,800
OF {\an8}SEE DAD STOP IT
FROM HAPPENING,
289
00:11:37,904 --> 00:11:39,526
STARRING THIS GUY,
290
00:11:39,629 --> 00:11:40,561
DIRECTED BY THIS GUY,
291
00:11:40,665 --> 00:11:42,149
AND WRITTEN BY--
292
00:11:42,253 --> 00:11:43,530
DAVID, JUST GO, OKAY?
293
00:11:43,633 --> 00:11:44,842
AND ACTION.
294
00:11:44,945 --> 00:11:49,501
I BELIEVE I SAID,
"AND DIRECTED BY THIS GUY."
295
00:11:49,605 --> 00:11:51,607
AND ACTION.
296
00:12:01,651 --> 00:12:03,412
HELLO, MATTHEW.
297
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,655
OH, HEY, MR. HOBBS.
WHAT'S UP?
298
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:09,176
WHAT'S UP WITH MR. HOBBS
IS NOT THE QUESTION.
299
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:12,835
THE QUESTION IS, WHAT'S UP
WITH MATTHEW PEARSON?
300
00:12:14,837 --> 00:12:17,357
THE MAN LOVES A CAMERA.
301
00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:18,599
NOTHING.
302
00:12:18,703 --> 00:12:20,912
JUST, UH, READY TO HAVE
SOME FUN, I GUESS.
303
00:12:21,016 --> 00:12:22,880
OHH, WHAT KIND OF FUN
ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
304
00:12:22,983 --> 00:12:24,640
"ACTING OLDER
THAN WE ARE" FUN?
305
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,159
BECAUSE THAT KIND OF FUN
306
00:12:26,262 --> 00:12:29,265
LEADS TO A LONG RIDE
IN THE DESERT WITH A SHOVEL.
307
00:12:34,823 --> 00:12:37,273
DAD, CAN I TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING FOR A SEC?
308
00:12:37,377 --> 00:12:40,207
YEAH.
309
00:12:40,311 --> 00:12:41,243
WHAT?
310
00:12:41,346 --> 00:12:42,313
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
311
00:12:42,416 --> 00:12:43,728
HONEY, I SAW
THE PATIO DOOR OPEN.
312
00:12:43,832 --> 00:12:44,833
I DIDN'T WANT
ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS
313
00:12:44,936 --> 00:12:46,938
TO GET TAKEN AWAY
BY A COYOTE.
314
00:12:47,042 --> 00:12:49,009
UPSTAIRS!
315
00:12:54,187 --> 00:12:57,155
THIS CANNOT GET
ANY MORE EMBARRASSING.
316
00:12:57,259 --> 00:13:00,676
TOP O' THE PARTY TO YOU, LASSIE.
317
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,161
YET IT JUST DID.
318
00:13:03,265 --> 00:13:05,957
YOU KNOW, MARY,
IT'S IMPORTANT FOR A MAN
319
00:13:06,061 --> 00:13:07,787
TO ALWAYS STAND OUT
IN A CROWD.
320
00:13:07,890 --> 00:13:08,995
BUT IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,
321
00:13:09,098 --> 00:13:11,963
I CAN CHANGE
INTO SOMETHING ELSE.
322
00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:16,105
I'M GONNA CHANGE
INTO SOMETHING ELSE.
323
00:13:16,209 --> 00:13:17,762
I THINK YOUR BROTHER
MAY HAVE A CRUSH ON ME.
324
00:13:17,866 --> 00:13:20,834
AND THE HITS
JUST KEEP ON COMING.
325
00:13:21,904 --> 00:13:24,182
PLEASE SIT DOWN.
326
00:13:27,772 --> 00:13:29,256
YOU DON'T FIT.
327
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,638
WOW.
328
00:13:31,741 --> 00:13:35,435
YOU JUST CAME RIGHT OUT
AND SAID IT, DIDN'T YOU?
329
00:13:35,538 --> 00:13:37,161
I APPRECIATE YOUR HONESTY.
330
00:13:37,264 --> 00:13:39,025
IT'S TRUE, I DON'T FIT.
331
00:13:39,128 --> 00:13:42,028
HONESTLY, I'VE FELT THAT WAY
MY ENTIRE LIFE.
332
00:13:42,131 --> 00:13:43,063
EVERYWHERE I GO--
333
00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:46,101
DR. MONKEY CHUNKS
IS UNCOMFORTABLE.
334
00:13:46,204 --> 00:13:49,173
I'M SORRY.
I'VE SAID TOO MUCH.
335
00:13:52,555 --> 00:13:54,730
I'M SORRY MY DAD
WAS ACTING SO WEIRD.
336
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,663
NO, NO, HE'S FINE.
337
00:13:56,766 --> 00:13:57,837
REALLY, IT'S COOL
THAT YOUR PARENTS
338
00:13:57,940 --> 00:14:00,598
ARE LETTING YOU
THROW A PARTY.
339
00:14:00,701 --> 00:14:03,049
YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY
TONIGHT, EMILY.
340
00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:06,121
SO DO YOU.
341
00:14:06,224 --> 00:14:11,402
SO DO YOU WANNA
GO TAKE A WALK OUTSIDE?
342
00:14:11,505 --> 00:14:14,198
THERE'S KIND OF SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO.
343
00:14:14,301 --> 00:14:15,820
OUCH!
344
00:14:15,924 --> 00:14:17,132
AHH...
345
00:14:17,235 --> 00:14:19,755
HI, GUYS. HEY.
346
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:23,138
I JUST HAD ME A HANKERING
FOR SOME, UH...
347
00:14:23,241 --> 00:14:25,174
UH, CREAM CHEESE.
348
00:14:25,278 --> 00:14:26,313
MMM.
349
00:14:26,417 --> 00:14:27,452
NOW, REALLY, MOM?
350
00:14:27,556 --> 00:14:29,730
UH-HUH.
351
00:14:32,009 --> 00:14:35,253
EXPIRED.
352
00:14:35,357 --> 00:14:38,084
THAT'S WHAT REALLY
GIVES IT THE KICK, YOU KNOW?
353
00:14:38,187 --> 00:14:41,018
MATTHEW, CAN I HAVE A MOMENT,
PLEASE, WITH MY DAUGHTER
354
00:14:41,121 --> 00:14:42,605
JUST, YOU KNOW,
GIRL-TO-GIRL?
355
00:14:42,709 --> 00:14:44,124
- OKAY.
- THANK YOU.
356
00:14:44,228 --> 00:14:45,436
UH, YEAH, I'LL JUST
BE HANGING WITH THE GUYS.
357
00:14:45,539 --> 00:14:47,196
YEAH, YOU DO THAT.
358
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:50,648
OH!
359
00:14:50,751 --> 00:14:52,167
HELLO, MATTHEW.
360
00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:54,341
MR. HOBBS.
- YEAH?
361
00:14:54,445 --> 00:14:55,549
YOU SCARED ME.
362
00:14:55,653 --> 00:14:57,275
A LITTLE SKITTISH ARE WE?
363
00:14:57,379 --> 00:14:58,690
YEAH, A LITTLE.
364
00:14:58,794 --> 00:15:02,832
UH, LET'S STEP INTO
MY OFFICE, PLEASE.
365
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:07,147
MR. HOBBS, DO YOU THINK
MAYBE I CAN POSSIBLY
366
00:15:07,251 --> 00:15:09,425
TALK TO YOU ABOUT
SOMETHING REALLY QUICK?
367
00:15:09,529 --> 00:15:11,911
YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME?
368
00:15:12,014 --> 00:15:14,499
YEAH, YOU ARE
THE COOLEST DAD I KNOW.
369
00:15:14,603 --> 00:15:17,882
I'M LISTENING.
370
00:15:17,986 --> 00:15:21,058
SEE, I REALLY LIKE EMILY,
371
00:15:21,161 --> 00:15:24,406
AND I--
372
00:15:24,509 --> 00:15:26,787
MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE
HOW HARD THIS IS FOR ME TO SAY.
373
00:15:26,891 --> 00:15:27,996
YEAH,
AND I CAN'T BELIEVE
374
00:15:28,099 --> 00:15:30,930
YOU'RE ACTUALLY
TRYING TO SAY IT.
375
00:15:31,033 --> 00:15:33,173
WELL, I MEAN,
IT'S HER FIRST TIME.
376
00:15:33,277 --> 00:15:34,588
AND SHE'S JUST A FRESHMAN.
377
00:15:34,692 --> 00:15:36,280
YOU KNOW,
I'M A LOT OLDER.
378
00:15:36,383 --> 00:15:39,110
SO I THOUGHT MAYBE I SHOULD
ASK YOUR PERMISSION.
379
00:15:43,183 --> 00:15:44,944
YEAH.
380
00:15:45,047 --> 00:15:47,153
UH, UM...
381
00:15:47,256 --> 00:15:50,880
SO ARE YOU COOL
WITH ME ASKING HER TO PROM?
382
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,230
PROM?
383
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:59,061
WAIT A MINUTE, THIS WHOLE THING
IS ABOUT THE PROM?
384
00:15:59,165 --> 00:16:01,443
YEAH.
WHAT DID YOU THINK I MEANT?
385
00:16:01,546 --> 00:16:03,963
OH.
386
00:16:06,103 --> 00:16:07,483
YEAH.
387
00:16:07,587 --> 00:16:09,313
WOW, UH, COME HERE, YOU.
388
00:16:09,416 --> 00:16:11,418
I'M JUST--
I'M SO NERVOUS.
389
00:16:11,522 --> 00:16:15,215
YEAH, I KNOW, NOT A LOT
OF PEOPLE GET TO HUG ME.
390
00:16:17,183 --> 00:16:22,636
OH, LOOK,
THIS HUMMUS EXPIRED TOO.
391
00:16:22,740 --> 00:16:24,914
MOM, WHY ARE WE CLEANING OUT
THE REFRIGERATOR?
392
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,778
I'M IN THE MIDDLE
OF A PARTY.
393
00:16:26,882 --> 00:16:28,815
BECAUSE THINGS HAVE
AN EXPIRATION DATE, EMILY,
394
00:16:28,918 --> 00:16:30,713
AND OTHER THINGS
YOU HANG ON TO
395
00:16:30,817 --> 00:16:32,163
FOR AS LONG
AS YOU CAN, OKAY?
396
00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:33,199
ESPECIALLY YOUR--
397
00:16:33,302 --> 00:16:34,269
OH, OH, HEY!
398
00:16:34,372 --> 00:16:35,684
OH, HOLD THAT THOUGHT,
HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
399
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:39,412
WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?
400
00:16:44,658 --> 00:16:46,039
OH, YOU'RE STILL MY BABY.
401
00:16:46,143 --> 00:16:47,040
AH!
402
00:16:47,144 --> 00:16:48,179
ALL RIGHT.
403
00:16:48,283 --> 00:16:50,561
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL BE UPSTAIRS
IF YOU NEED US.
404
00:16:50,664 --> 00:16:52,114
I AM NOT GOING TO NEED YOU.
405
00:16:52,218 --> 00:16:55,669
WHERE'S MY CREAM CHEESE
CONDITIONER?
406
00:16:55,773 --> 00:16:57,533
DID SHE THROW IT AWAY?
407
00:16:57,637 --> 00:17:00,847
AMY!
HEY!
408
00:17:00,950 --> 00:17:02,573
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO HERE.
409
00:17:02,676 --> 00:17:06,232
WHAT A MESS.
410
00:17:06,335 --> 00:17:08,027
YOU'RE RIGHT.
411
00:17:08,130 --> 00:17:09,511
I AM A MESS.
412
00:17:09,614 --> 00:17:10,822
LOST.
413
00:17:10,926 --> 00:17:12,583
UNSURE OF MY PLACE
IN THE WORLD.
414
00:17:12,686 --> 00:17:15,275
YOU'RE DONE HERE.
415
00:17:15,379 --> 00:17:17,036
I AM DONE HERE.
416
00:17:17,139 --> 00:17:19,107
SO WHO'S NEXT?
417
00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,488
IT'S A GREAT QUESTION, JANIE.
418
00:17:21,592 --> 00:17:24,526
I GUESS
THERE'S ALWAYS ROMANO.
419
00:17:24,629 --> 00:17:27,287
I HEARD DANZA'S
TRYING TO MAKE A COMEBACK.
420
00:17:27,391 --> 00:17:28,737
OH, EXCELLENT.
421
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,256
KEVIN,
NEXT TIME YOU'RE OUT,
422
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:32,016
I NEED YOU TO PICK ME UP
SOME CREAM CHEESE, OKAY?
423
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,742
CREAM CHEESE.
424
00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:35,675
FOR HIS CONDITIONER.
425
00:17:35,778 --> 00:17:37,401
I'M ON IT!
426
00:17:37,504 --> 00:17:38,436
OH!
427
00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:40,059
HE NEEDS ME.
428
00:17:47,135 --> 00:17:50,379
HEY, EMILY, I WAS
JUST TALKING TO YOUR DAD.
429
00:17:50,483 --> 00:17:51,932
YEAH.
430
00:17:52,036 --> 00:17:55,695
SAW YOU HUG.
431
00:17:55,798 --> 00:17:57,662
YEAH, NO, NO, IT'S GOOD.
IT'S GOOD.
432
00:17:57,766 --> 00:18:01,010
NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE
GET TO DO THAT.
433
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:05,463
SO, UM, I JUST
WANTED TO ASK YOU IF--
434
00:18:13,368 --> 00:18:15,473
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
435
00:18:15,577 --> 00:18:17,958
DANCING LIKE
NO ONE'S WATCHING.
436
00:18:18,062 --> 00:18:20,099
BUT EVERYONE
IS WATCHING!
437
00:18:20,202 --> 00:18:21,410
EVEN BETTER.
438
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,863
HE'S MAKING
A FOOL OF HIMSELF.
439
00:18:25,966 --> 00:18:28,969
I KNOW.
IT'S KINDA SWEET.
440
00:18:29,073 --> 00:18:31,075
I CAN'T LEAVE HIM HANGING.
441
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:51,647
SO YOU WERE GONNA
ASK ME SOMETHING?
442
00:18:51,751 --> 00:18:53,442
YEAH, I WAS.
443
00:18:53,546 --> 00:18:55,686
UM...
444
00:18:55,789 --> 00:18:59,690
EMILY, WOULD YOU LIKE
TO GO TO PROM WITH ME?
445
00:18:59,793 --> 00:19:01,485
YES, I WOULD LOVE TO.
446
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,490
OH.
447
00:19:13,290 --> 00:19:15,671
WELL, DAVID,
LOOKS LIKE OUR LITTLE GIRL
448
00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:17,915
IS STILL OUR LITTLE GIRL.
449
00:19:18,018 --> 00:19:20,435
YEAH, TOLD YOU
NOT TO JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS.
450
00:19:22,057 --> 00:19:24,163
WE WERE WORRIED
ABOUT TRUSTING HER
451
00:19:24,266 --> 00:19:26,751
WHEN SHE SHOULD BE THE ONE
WORRIED ABOUT TRUSTING US.
452
00:19:26,855 --> 00:19:28,374
- YEAH.
- HMM?
453
00:19:28,477 --> 00:19:30,962
GUESS WE CAN'T WATCH HER
FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.
454
00:19:31,066 --> 00:19:32,205
WE HAVE TO LET HER
GROW UP ON HER OWN
455
00:19:32,309 --> 00:19:35,346
AND HOPE THAT
WE RAISED HER RIGHT.
456
00:19:35,450 --> 00:19:37,072
HMM.
457
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,213
GOOD NEWS IS YOU DID
A GREAT JOB WITH HER.
458
00:19:40,317 --> 00:19:42,905
THANKS.
459
00:19:43,009 --> 00:19:46,461
OKAY, IT'S A MINUTE
PAST 10:00,
460
00:19:46,564 --> 00:19:47,600
LET'S SHUT THIS MOTHER DOWN.
461
00:19:47,703 --> 00:19:49,049
YEP.
462
00:19:49,153 --> 00:19:52,432
MAYBE JUST I SHOULD GO, BATMAN.
463
00:19:52,536 --> 00:19:54,262
YES, GOOD CALL.
464
00:19:54,365 --> 00:19:59,681
I'LL STAY HERE AND POWER DOWN
THE BATCAVE FOR GOOD.
465
00:20:05,445 --> 00:20:07,447
YOU'RE GOING DOWN, STAMOS.
466
00:20:21,703 --> 00:20:23,291
I HAD A GREAT TIME, JOE.
467
00:20:23,394 --> 00:20:26,328
ME TOO.
468
00:20:26,432 --> 00:20:28,537
YOU KNOW I'M A LITTLE
TOO OLD FOR YOU, RIGHT?
469
00:20:28,641 --> 00:20:30,194
I GUESS SO.
470
00:20:30,298 --> 00:20:31,471
BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
471
00:20:31,575 --> 00:20:35,648
IN ABOUT TEN YEARS,
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME A CALL?
472
00:20:35,751 --> 00:20:37,822
ONLY TEN YEARS.
473
00:20:37,926 --> 00:20:39,928
AH.