1
00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:12,099
HERE YOU GO, BABY.
LET ME SEE THE TOOTH.

2
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,839
YEAH!

3
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,232
LET'S DO ANGELINA JOLIE.

4
00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,017
ATTA GIRL!

5
00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,498
OKAY!

6
00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:23,371
I'M OFF TO MY SOAP OPERA CONVENTION.

7
00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:26,069
COME GIVE ME A HUG,
YOU LITTLE TOOTHLESS WONDER!

8
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,376
BUT I DON'T WANT YOU
TO GO AWAY.

9
00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:30,421
OH, I KNOW, SWEETIE,
BUT IT'S PART OF MY JOB.

10
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:32,293
THIS IS WHEN MY FANS
GET TO MEET ME...

11
00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:35,078
AND BERATE ME FOR BEING
A SOULLESS GOLD DIGGER, OKAY?

12
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:37,298
HEY, DON'T SELL
YOURSELF SHORT, HONEY.

13
00:00:37,428 --> 00:00:38,299
THEY ALSO HATE YOU
FOR EMBEZZLING MONEY

14
00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:40,736
FROM THE FORT PATINA FALLS ORPHANAGE.

15
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:44,522
GOOD THING THAT ORPHANAGE
WAS JUST A FRONT FOR THE MOB.

16
00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:49,049
THANKS FOR WATCHING, SWEETIE.

17
00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:50,746
OKAY, MY HOTEL INFO.

18
00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:51,921
AND I ALSO ASKED KEVIN
TO GIVE YOU A HAND

19
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,270
WITH JOE AND JANIE.
- WHY?

20
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:54,750
I WAS JUST GETTING
THE HANG OF THEM.

21
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,666
NO, HE'S NOT.

22
00:00:57,796 --> 00:00:59,102
WELL, EMILY'S GOING
TO MATTHEW'S PROM

23
00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:00,538
ON SATURDAY NIGHT,

24
00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:02,801
AND YOU NEED TO FOCUS
YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION ON...

25
00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:04,586
UGH! I LOOK HIDEOUS!

26
00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:07,110
OUR LITTLE PROMZILLA.

27
00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:09,069
SHE'S OUT OF HER MIND.

28
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,331
SHE'S UP THERE STARING
IN THE MIRROR LIKE,

29
00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:14,030
"MY EARLOBES ARE GINORMOUS!"

30
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:17,381
"MY HAIR'S SO STUPID!"

31
00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:22,212
YEAH, THAT WAS DADDY, SWEETIE.

32
00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:25,128
SHE'S A FRESHMAN
GOING TO THE JUNIOR PROM.

33
00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:26,999
THIS IS A REAL-LIFE FAIRYTALE
FOR HER.

34
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,827
THIS IS HER--HER MOMENT.

35
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:32,440
WHY AM I SO GASSY!

36
00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:35,095
- PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US.
- OH!

37
00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:37,358
IT'S ONLY A COUPLE OF NIGHTS.
AND I'M SORRY.

38
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,011
BECAUSE I WAS HOPING
SHE'D PICK OUT HER DRESS

39
00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:40,883
BEFORE I LEFT,
BUT SHE COULDN'T DECIDE.

40
00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:42,450
SHE SAID THE WOMAN
AT THE DRESS SHOP

41
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,060
WAS "OUT TO DESTROY HER."

42
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,366
SO NOW YOU HAVE TO TAKE HER.

43
00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:48,586
YEAH,
BUT "I DON'T WANT TO."

44
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:50,675
YOU JUST NEED TO FOLLOW
THESE VERY CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS.

45
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:53,113
NOW, WHEN EMILY ASKS
HOW SHE LOOKS IN THE DRESSES,

46
00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:55,680
YOU SMILE,
YOU SAY SHE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL,

47
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:57,029
AND YOU SWIPE
THAT CREDIT CARD.

48
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,293
DON'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE.

49
00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:00,990
YOU WILL OPEN UP
A CAN OF CRAZY

50
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,122
FOR WHICH THERE IS NO LID.

51
00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:04,428
- OKAY, NOW...
- ALL RIGHT?

52
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:06,561
WHAT PART ABOUT "'PLEASE DON'T
LEAVE US' DID YOU NOT GET?"

53
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,868
- OH, THAT'S ME.
- ALL RIGHT, GOOD-BYE.

54
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,174
- I LOVE YOU.
- ALL RIGHT, YOU BE SAFE, HONEY.

55
00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:12,697
- OKAY.
- ALL RIGHT.

56
00:02:12,828 --> 00:02:14,569
OH! HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND,
YOU SOULLESS GOLD DIGGER.

57
00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:15,961
OOH!

58
00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:17,789
MARCUS, YOU WATCHED.

59
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,096
I LOVE MY STORIES!

60
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,185
BYE, EMILY.
I LOVE YOU.

61
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:24,970
I HAVE A FREAKIN' MUSTACHE!

62
00:02:25,101 --> 00:02:27,756
SHE'S ALL YOURS.

63
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:34,850
- IT'S COMING!
- DAD!

64
00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:39,463
COME WITH US
IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!

65
00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:41,509
DO YOU SEE THIS PIMPLE FORMING
BETWEEN MY EYES?

66
00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,293
NO.

67
00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:44,512
THAT'S BECAUSE MY EYEBROWS
HAVE FINALLY MERGED

68
00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:46,078
INTO A BUSHY UNIBROW!

69
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:49,343
BETWEEN THAT AND MY MUSTACHE,
I'M BECOMING GRANDMA!

70
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:54,783
THIS IS ONE DAY
I DO NOT ENVY YOUR LIFE.

71
00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:57,786
MARY'S NOT GOING TO THE PROM.

72
00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:03,531
YOU FEEL THAT?
- YEAH.

73
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,620
EMILY!

74
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,187
- CARLOS ASKED YOU TO THE PROM?
- YES!

75
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:09,363
BUT NOW I ONLY HAVE TWO DAYS

76
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:12,279
TO FIX THIS RIDICULOUSLY LONG
GIRAFFE NECK.

77
00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,152
THANKS FOR PASSING THAT DOWN, DAD.

78
00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:22,114
WE NEED DRESSES!

79
00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:25,422
LIKE NOW!

80
00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:29,513
WE SHOULD'VE LEFT
WITH THE LITTLE PEOPLE.

81
00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:59,543
SMILE,
"YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL,"

82
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:02,372
SWIPE.

83
00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:03,982
SMI--
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

84
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,897
I'M REHEARSING MY LINE.

85
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,030
DAD?
HELP ME!

86
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,338
HELP US ALL!
AHH.

87
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:16,125
SO...
HOW DO I LOOK?

88
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,868
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

89
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:21,783
MOM TOLD YOU TO SAY THAT,
DIDN'T SHE?

90
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:28,180
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

91
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,748
SHE DID.

92
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:32,402
WELL, I WANNA KNOW
WHAT YOU THINK, DAD.

93
00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:36,232
I KNEW IT!
YOU THINK I LOOK KNOBBY.

94
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,973
LIKE I'M ALL ELBOWS
AND KNEES.

95
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:41,063
I'M SO CONFUSED
RIGHT NOW.

96
00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:43,500
I LOOK LIKE A BABY DEER
STUFFED INTO A DRESS, DON'T I?

97
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,853
I KNEW IT!

98
00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:50,594
NOW, I GOTTA FIND
SOMETHING ELSE!

99
00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:55,860
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
AND DON'T SAY I LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

100
00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:58,559
NICE?

101
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:01,344
YOU DON'T THINK
I LOOK BEAUTIFUL?

102
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,217
DOES THIS SAY
I'M TRYING TOO HARD,

103
00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:06,741
OR NOT HARD ENOUGH?

104
00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:09,004
YES.

105
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,794
- HOT.
- EW.

106
00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:23,584
FABULOUS!

107
00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:25,107
EW.

108
00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:27,675
YES!
THIS IS THE ONE!

109
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:30,808
FINALLY ONE THAT I LOVE!

110
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,727
DON'T MOVE.

111
00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:40,165
MAYBE THEY WILL FORGET
THAT WE WERE HERE.

112
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:42,907
YOU LOOK GREAT.

113
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,648
SO DO YOU.

114
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:47,434
BUT IT'S NOT LIKE
WE CAN BOTH WEAR THE SAME DRESS.

115
00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:53,788
YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET'S JUST KEEP LOOKING.

116
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:55,964
GOOD CALL.

117
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,619
both: HELP US!

118
00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:02,884
LIKE NOW!

119
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:12,241
NOT REALLY A GOLD DIGGER.

120
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,765
AND I WASN'T REALLY
IN A COMA.

121
00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:18,203
BUT I'M ABOUT TO SLIP INTO ONE
RIGHT NOW.

122
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,467
WE ARE NOT GONNA GET
ANY ACTION TODAY.

123
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:23,557
SANTIAGO {\an8}<i>ALWAYS</i> GETS ACTION.

124
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:32,130
MAN, OUR SHOW SUCKS.

125
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:33,654
OR IT COULD'VE BEEN THE...

126
00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:34,872
THING.

127
00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:36,439
- NO.
- YEAH.

128
00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,537
YOU'RE BREATHING ON ME.

129
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:48,669
I'M SORRY,
BUT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME

130
00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:50,540
YOUR PARENTS
HAVE TRUSTED ME TO BABYSIT YOU,

131
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,716
SO I'M NOT TAKING
ANY CHANCES.

132
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,979
THAT'S WHY
YOU WOULDN'T LET ME

133
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,765
SHARPEN MY CRAYON.

134
00:06:57,895 --> 00:07:00,637
HEY, UH, JOE'S BEEN TAKING
A WHILE IN THE BATHROOM.

135
00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:02,509
UH, YOU THINK HE'S OKAY, OR--

136
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:05,816
I AM NOT HAVING
THIS CONVERSATION.

137
00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:07,339
OKAY.

138
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:10,342
OH!

139
00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:12,388
HEY, KEVIN.
JUST CHECKING IN.

140
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:13,868
HOW ARE THE KIDS?
- ALIVE AND WELL.

141
00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:16,218
BOTH OF THEM.

142
00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:19,047
WELL, THAT IS THE GOAL.

143
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,440
OW!

144
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:21,528
WHAT WAS THAT?

145
00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:22,833
UH, NOTHING.

146
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:24,313
JOE'S JUST WATCHING
THE ANIMAL CHANNEL.

147
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,881
YEAH, JOE!
OWLS ARE AWESOME!

148
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:30,058
OKAY, BYE NOW.

149
00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:31,929
JOE, ARE YOU OKAY?

150
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,323
YEAH, I JUST TRIPPED OVER
MY OWN FOOT.

151
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,717
ARE YOU FEELING DIZZY,
SHORT OF BREATH?

152
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:39,459
'CAUSE I CAN OPEN AN AIRWAY
WITH A CRAYON!

153
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:42,200
NOT WITH PURPLE YOU'RE NOT!

154
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:46,944
- KEVIN, I'M FINE.
- MAYBE YOU'RE IN SHOCK.

155
00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:49,033
YOU SHOULD JUST SIT AND I'LL
GET YOU ANYTHING YOU NEED.

156
00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:50,905
ANYTHING?

157
00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:52,559
WHATEVER YOU WANT.

158
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:54,604
OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

159
00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:55,823
I SHOCKED
AT HOW TENDER IT IS.

160
00:07:57,738 --> 00:08:00,958
I'LL TAKE SOME POPCORN
AND A SODA.

161
00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:04,440
AND MAYBE PUT ON A MOVIE
WHEN YOU GET BACK.

162
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:08,575
I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

163
00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:11,491
OW! I JUST TRIPPED OVER
JOE'S OTHER FOOT!

164
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,369
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I STILL DON'T HAVE A DRESS!

165
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,588
THEY SAID THEY HAD
TO CLOSE THE SHOP

166
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,807
TO GO HOME
AND "FEED THEIR CHILDREN?"

167
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:25,722
HA.
I MEAN, WHO DOES THAT?

168
00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:27,594
THE RETURN OF PROMZILLA.

169
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:30,422
OOH, LOOK AT THE TIME.

170
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:31,815
YOU CAN'T TELL TIME.

171
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,948
I CAN TELL
WHEN IT'S TIME TO LEAVE.

172
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,822
EMILY, YOU--

173
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:40,781
YOU REALLY WANTED
TO WEAR THAT DRESS, DIDN'T YOU?

174
00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:42,652
YOU CAN TELL ME.
MARY'S NOT HERE.

175
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,393
IT WAS THE ONLY ONE
I LOVED, DAD.

176
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,090
AND MARY SHOULD'VE
GIVEN ME DIBS.

177
00:08:46,221 --> 00:08:47,962
I GOT ASKED TO THE PROM FIRST,

178
00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:51,792
AND MATTHEW AND I HAVE BEEN
A COUPLE FOR 102 DAYS.

179
00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:53,010
AND IF WE'RE REALLY
GETTING TECHNICAL,

180
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:54,795
I HAVE BLUE EYES.

181
00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:58,581
AND THAT AQUAMARINE DRESS
TOTALLY MADE THEM POP.

182
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,017
IT'S JUST I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED

183
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:02,019
MY FIRST PROM WOULD BE
LIKE A FAIRY TALE.

184
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:03,673
SO MUCH FOR THAT.

185
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:06,067
AW, WAIT. EMILY.

186
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:08,548
EMI--

187
00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:15,467
MARCUS?

188
00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:17,382
DAVID?

189
00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:19,254
MARCUS?

190
00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:21,386
DAVID?

191
00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:24,085
MARCUS.

192
00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:27,479
DAVID.

193
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:30,395
EMILY REALLY WANTS
THAT DRESS.

194
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:33,224
MARY REALLY WANTS
THAT DRESS.

195
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:34,661
THERE'S ONE PROBLEM, MARCUS.

196
00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,358
THE STORE SAID
THERE'S ONLY ONE DRESS LEFT.

197
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,186
LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE
A GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED,

198
00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:41,624
MADE-IN-TAIWAN,
AQUAMARINE DRESS STAND-OFF HERE.

199
00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:53,462
MARCUS.

200
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,377
- DAVID.
- MARCUS.

201
00:09:55,507 --> 00:09:56,421
- OH!
- MAR--

202
00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:57,945
AHH!

203
00:09:58,075 --> 00:09:59,250
AH.
AH, AH, AH.

204
00:09:59,381 --> 00:10:00,425
YOU CANNOT WIN, DAVID.

205
00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:03,428
YOU'RE TOUCHING MY HAIR.
SECURITY!

206
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:04,865
SECURITY, THAT--

207
00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:06,693
I'M TV'S DAVID HOBBS,

208
00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:08,869
AND THIS NON-CELEBRITY STRANGER
IS STEALING MY DRESS!

209
00:10:11,436 --> 00:10:13,221
WHOA! WHOA, WHOA!

210
00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:15,310
IS HE GONNA BE OKAY?

211
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,138
YEAH, IT WEARS OFF
IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES.

212
00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:18,835
OH, OKAY, GOOD.

213
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,970
CAN I BORROW THAT?

214
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:29,759
THAT'S COLD, DAVID.
THAT'S COLD.

215
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:35,896
both: AHH!

216
00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:40,117
THANKS FOR THE SUNDAES.

217
00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:43,381
I JUST HOPE I DON'T GET HURT
CLEANING MY ROOM.

218
00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:47,647
YEAH, AND SOMETIMES
I TRIP ON MY POINTY TOYS.

219
00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:50,650
NO, NO, WAIT.
I'LL DO YOUR CHORES FOR YOU.

220
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:52,739
THAT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST.

221
00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,392
OH.

222
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,046
THAT'S YOUR MOM
ON THE COMPUTER AGAIN.

223
00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:58,135
JUST...STAY PUT.

224
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,533
- WHERE'S EMILY?
- DAD!

225
00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:09,973
THAT'S OUR CUE!

226
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:11,279
AAH!

227
00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,803
GO! SAVE YOURSELF!

228
00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,897
WHERE HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN?

229
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:22,507
DAD, WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR HAIR?

230
00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,640
YEAH, I KNOW, RIGHT?
UNCLE MARCUS!

231
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:25,989
WHAT SMELLS LIKE
IT'S BURNING?

232
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,426
UNCLE MARCUS!

233
00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:30,341
WHY DON'T YOU SHOW THE GIRLS

234
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:33,257
THE "PRESENT"
YOU HAVE IN THE BAG?

235
00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:35,172
BECAUSE
"I DON'T WANT TO."

236
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:37,000
DAD, WHAT DID YOU DO?

237
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:39,786
AAH! AAH!

238
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:41,875
HE PRIED THAT OUT OF
MY TREMBLING HANDS

239
00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:45,313
AT THE DRESS SHOP
AFTER HE HAD ME TASERED!

240
00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:49,970
DAD, DIDN'T YOU HEAR
THE DEAL MARY AND I MADE?

241
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,580
YEAH, DAD,
DIDN'T YOU HEAR HER SAY

242
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,190
WE WERE GONNA GET
DIFFERENT DRESSES?

243
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:56,628
DID ANYBODY HEAR ME SAY {\an8}<i>
I WAS TASERED?!</i>

244
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,369
HEY, LOOK, IF ANYBODY
SHOULD HAVE DIBS ON THAT DRESS,

245
00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,936
IT'S EMILY.

246
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:02,112
SHE'S BEEN SEEING
MATTHEW PETERSON FOR 102 DAYS,

247
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,897
AND THIS DRESS
MAKES HER EYES POP.

248
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:06,551
BUT AQUAMARINE
IS MARY'S BIRTHSTONE,

249
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:09,511
AND SHE'S BEEN WAITING
78 DAYS FOR CARLOS TO ASK HER.

250
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:10,773
AND THIS JUST IN...

251
00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:12,688
HER FATHER WAS RECENTLY {\an8}<i>
TASERED!</i>

252
00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:16,997
78 DAYS FOR CARLOS TO ASK?

253
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:18,520
SOUNDS LIKE YOU.

254
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:21,871
AND 102 DAYS?
SOUNDS JUST LIKE YOU.

255
00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:23,351
YOU KNOW WHAT,
WEAR THE STUPID DRESS.

256
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,005
I DON'T EVEN WANT
TO GO ANYMORE.

257
00:12:25,135 --> 00:12:27,747
ME NEITHER.

258
00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:29,792
HOPE YOU DIDN'T NEED
THE RETURN RECEIPT.

259
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:31,925
HMM. HMM.

260
00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:34,971
MMM!

261
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,670
HEY, MARCUS.
MARCUS!

262
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,281
- WHAT?
- THIS REMIND YOU OF ANYBODY?

263
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:48,942
UH...DAVID?

264
00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:51,161
HI, HONEY.

265
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:54,034
UH...ABOUT HOW MUCH
OF THAT DID YOU HEAR?

266
00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:56,253
THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER
THAN OUR SHOW.

267
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:58,603
MM.

268
00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:01,824
IS THE ONE WITH
THE WIND-BLOWN HAIR THE VILLAIN?

269
00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:06,046
IN THIS EPISODE, YES.

270
00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:10,615
I'M SORRY, DAVID.

271
00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:11,791
I-I NEVER ACCOUNTED FOR

272
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:14,010
TWO PROMZILLAS
AND ONE DRESS.

273
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:16,447
BUT YOU AND MARCUS,
YOU NEED TO FIX THIS!

274
00:13:16,578 --> 00:13:18,406
THE MAN ATE MY RECEIPT.

275
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:20,408
AMY, IT'S HARD
TO COME BACK FROM THAT.

276
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:22,714
KEVIN!
GO GET MARCUS.

277
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:28,764
SERIOUSLY, GUYS, YOU'VE GOT
A LOT OF MEMORIES TOGETHER.

278
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,984
DO YOU REALLY WANNA RUIN
THIS ONE FOR YOUR DAUGHTERS?

279
00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:33,203
AMY, IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY.

280
00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:35,292
THE GIRLS AREN'T TALKING
TO EACH OTHER EITHER.

281
00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:37,599
KEVIN?

282
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:44,954
YOU GIRLS HAVE SPENT
YOUR WHOLE LIVES TOGETHER.

283
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:47,565
AND YOUR FATHERS
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE.

284
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:49,437
LIKE THE FIRST DAY YOU MET.

285
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,352
I WANT Y'ALL TO WATCH SOMETHING.

286
00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:55,486
- WE DID IT!
- AH...

287
00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:57,445
BOOM!

288
00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:00,013
READY?

289
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:01,884
OOF!

290
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:05,496
OKAY, OKAY, ALL RIGHT, OKAY.

291
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:08,021
OKAY.
OKAY.

292
00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:12,982
THE FIRST TIME WE LEFT YOU
ALONE WITH YOUR FATHERS...

293
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:18,466
HUH? HUH?

294
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:20,903
ALL RIGHT. OKAY.

295
00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:23,601
THE FIRST TIME
YOU HAD SOLID FOODS...

296
00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:25,560
TCH, TCH, TCH, TCH.

297
00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:35,831
HA HA HA HA!

298
00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:41,489
- DAVID!
- WHAT?

299
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,795
SHE STARTED IT.

300
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:46,973
AND FINALLY...

301
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:48,888
THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

302
00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:53,936
- YOU READY?
- I THINK SO.

303
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,156
JUST GLAD WE HAVE
EACH OTHER.

304
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:08,429
SHOULD WE LEAVE

305
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:13,216
BEFORE WE START CRYING?
- UHH. MIGHT BE TOO LATE.

306
00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:15,871
YOU GIRLS HAVE HAD
A LOT OF FIRSTS TOGETHER.

307
00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:19,266
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO MISS OUT
ON YOUR FIRST PROM?

308
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:24,575
PLEASE SAY SOMETHING!

309
00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:28,144
THE GOLD DIGGER'S LAPTOP
IS DOWN TO 10% POWER!

310
00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:32,061
I'M SORRY, MARE-BEAR.

311
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,715
ME TOO.

312
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:35,238
- I LOVE YOU.
- I LOVE YOU.

313
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,026
SHOULD WE HUG TOO, MAN?

314
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:43,159
HUG THE MAN!

315
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:44,117
OH...

316
00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:48,730
I NEED TO CALL MY BROTHER.

317
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,517
OKAY. THANKS.

318
00:15:53,648 --> 00:15:56,433
THERE'S NOTHING IN OUR SIZE
AT ANY OF THE OTHER STORES.

319
00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:58,392
WHO ARE WE KIDDING?
IT'S THE NIGHT BEFORE PROM.

320
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,002
WE'LL NEVER FIND DRESSES.

321
00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:02,439
HOLD IT.
WAIT. WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?

322
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:03,658
MARCUS.
- MM-HMM.

323
00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:05,051
- LOOK AT THIS.
- ACCESSORIZE A LITTLE BIT.

324
00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:07,183
THAT IS...FABULOUS.

325
00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:08,793
I'D DATE HIM
IF HE WORE THIS DRESS.

326
00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:12,710
OH, IT'S ALL GOOD, MAN.

327
00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:14,712
WE'RE FRIENDS.
WE MADE UP.

328
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,891
GUYS, STOP, PLEASE.
WE JUST WON'T GO.

329
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,459
WHAT? NO, NO, EMILY,
DON'T DO THAT.

330
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:24,113
PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP.

331
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:27,203
SORRY, DAD, BUT THIS
ISN'T YOUR TV SHOW

332
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,727
AND LIFE DOESN'T ALWAYS HAVE
A FAIRY TALE ENDING.

333
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:31,991
WE'LL WAIT IN THE CAR.

334
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:37,257
WHAT DID WE DO
IN OUR SPECIAL PROM EPISODE?

335
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,128
AH, LET'S SEE.
HMM, WELL...

336
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:42,740
SOMEONE DIDN'T GET TASERED IN
A DRESS SHOP--THAT'S FOR SURE!

337
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,786
THAT ACTUALLY WOULD HAVE BEEN
PRETTY FUNNY.

338
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:47,354
SERIOUSLY, MAN, COME ON,
OUR JOB AS DADS

339
00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:49,660
IS TO MAKE OUR DAUGHTERS'
DREAMS COME TRUE.

340
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:53,099
WHO DO WE KNOW THAT WE CAN CALL
TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN FOR US?

341
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,407
GOT IT.

342
00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:03,152
UH--UH--
I SAID WE GOOD.

343
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:04,936
WHY YOU KEEP
EYEBALLING ME, BRO?

344
00:17:10,725 --> 00:17:13,206
DREAMS DO COME TRUE.

345
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:14,468
- DAD?
- YEAH.

346
00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:17,166
WHAT, EXACTLY, DO YOU THINK
WE DREAM ABOUT?

347
00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:19,255
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

348
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:20,735
WHEN YOU SAID
YOU'D PULL SOME STRINGS

349
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:22,693
WITH YOUR WARDROBE PERSON,

350
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:25,174
I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BE
ATTACHED TO A TIME MACHINE.

351
00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:26,784
YOU GUYS LOOK GREAT.

352
00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:29,048
LIKE FAIRY PRINCESSES.

353
00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:31,267
ONLY SAD.

354
00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:36,055
JOE, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
AND BE HONEST.

355
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:38,274
BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE NOT.

356
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:40,407
YOU LOOK GREAT!

357
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,891
DAD, I REALLY
APPRECIATE ALL THIS,

358
00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:49,633
BUT THERE'S NO WAY WE ARE GOING
TO THE PROM LIKE THIS.

359
00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:51,635
EMILY, LISTEN,

360
00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:55,030
YOUR MOM SHOWED US THOSE
GREAT MOMENTS FROM YOUR LIFE,

361
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:58,251
AND THE ONE MOMENT
THAT I MISSED OF YOU

362
00:17:58,381 --> 00:18:00,383
THAT I WILL NEVER GET BACK

363
00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:03,299
IS THE MOMENT OF YOU TAKING
YOUR FIRST STEP.

364
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:05,562
THAT IS A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME
MOMENT.

365
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:09,218
AND SO IS THE PROM.

366
00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:11,002
SO PLEASE...

367
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,961
PLEASE DON'T MISS THAT.

368
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:19,576
HE'S RIGHT.
WE HAVE TO GO.

369
00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:21,143
IN THESE?

370
00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:27,018
OH--ARE THEY FIGHTING?

371
00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:30,196
I DON'T KNOW.
DON'T MOVE.

372
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:34,765
WE CAN TOTALLY
MAKE THIS WORK,

373
00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,593
BUT WE'RE GONNA BE LATE.

374
00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:39,553
LET'S CALL THE BOYS
AND HAVE THEM MEET US THERE.

375
00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:43,992
SEE?

376
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,299
SEE? SEE? WE DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING.

377
00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:56,047
THEY'RE NOT YELLING AT US.

378
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:58,354
YEAH, MAN.
IT'S COOL.

379
00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:09,191
EMILY...

380
00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:10,975
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

381
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:12,934
THIS TIME
I BELIEVE YOU.

382
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:15,937
AND, DAD, NO MATTER
HOW CRAZY THIS GOT

383
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,852
OR HOW CRAZY I GOT,

384
00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:20,246
JUST WANNA SAY THANK YOU.

385
00:19:21,769 --> 00:19:24,206
YOU'RE WELCOME.

386
00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:26,295
MAKE SURE YOU HAVE FUN,
BABY GIRL.

387
00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:27,949
MAKE SURE YOU DO IT
GANGNAM STYLE...

388
00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:30,473
STOP THAT, STOP THAT.

389
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:31,866
OH.
OKAY.

390
00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:35,261
YOU READY?

391
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:36,784
I THINK SO.

392
00:19:36,914 --> 00:19:39,178
I'M JUST GLAD
WE HAVE EACH OTHER.

393
00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,456
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT.

394
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:07,293
HEY, KEVIN.

395
00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:09,077
WHERE ARE
THE LITTLE FAKERS?

396
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,775
OH. THEY'RE SAFE NOW.

397
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:13,386
both: MOM!

398
00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:16,084
FINALLY, YOU'RE HOME!
GET US OUT OF THIS.

399
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,478
WHEN KEVIN TOLD ME
ABOUT ALL YOUR INJURIES,

400
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,828
I WAS SO WORRIED!

401
00:20:20,958 --> 00:20:22,873
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE ALL IN ONE PIECE.

402
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:25,746
AND READY FOR SHIPPING.

403
00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:27,313
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP, KEVIN.

404
00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:29,793
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GO UNPACK MOMMY.

405
00:20:29,924 --> 00:20:32,883
UNPACK US FIRST!

406
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:34,233
YEAH, IN A BIT.

407
00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:36,409
WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!

408
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:40,064
GREAT.
NOW IT'S TRAPPED IN HERE!