>> COME ON, LOUIE, WE'RE GOING
TO THE SHOW.
ON THIS EPISODE OF BIG ANG...
I REALLY WANT LITTLE LOUIE TO BE
IN A DOG SHOW.
LOUIE, THIS WAY.
I DON'T THINK IT'S THAT HARD.
LOUIE! LOUIE?
LOUIE!
[sotto voce] LOUIE!
THIS [bleep] MESS I'M IN.
MY HUSBAND NEIL MOVED BACK IN,
AND I'M MOVING INTO A BIGGER
HOUSE.
>> OH, MY GOD!
LET NEIL TAKE CARE OF THIS.
>> YOU WANTED TO MOVE IN.
THERE IT IS.
[house music playing]
* I LIKE THE WISE GUYS
* THE--THE WISE GUYS
* I WANT THAT
* I WANNA HAVE FUN
* AND GET WHACKED
* OH, MY, GOD.
* I LIKE THE WISE GUYS
* THE--THE WISE GUYS
* I LOVE--LOVE DIAMONDS
* I WANT A MASSAGE, FACIAL
* GET SPRAY-TANNED
* I WANT A MASSAGE, A FACIAL
* EVERYBODY LOVES ME
>> COME ON, LOUIE.
GOOD BOY.
LITTLE LOUIE'S MY LITTLE BABY.
HE DOESN'T KNOW IT YET, BUT
MAMA'S PUTTING HIM IN A DOG
SHOW.
OH, LET'S SEE HOW THIS WORKS
OUT.
HI, LEE!
>> HOW ARE YOU?
BABY BOY'S GETTING SOME STYLING
TODAY, RIGHT?
>> YES, HE NEEDS IT.
>> AND HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE
HIS TEMPERAMENT?
AN ANGEL, RIGHT?
>> OH, RIGHT.
[Louie barking, yapping]
>> OH--OH, MY GOODNESS!
>> LOUIE!
>> WHAT'S-A MATTER, MY BOY?
EVERYBODY THINKS I SPOIL LOUIE
TOO MUCH, AND THEY'RE PROBABLY
RIGHT.
BUT WHO DOESN'T LIKE TO BE
PAMPERED?
[Louie whimpers]
>> OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I FOUND OUT LOUIE HAS ONE BALL.
>> WELL, IT'S BETTER THAN NONE.
>> [laughs]
>> WE'RE ON THE BALL-HUNT.
LOUIE, WHERE IS YOUR BALL?
>> OH, ANGELA!
[vacuum blow-drying]
>> THERE YOU GO, LITTLE GUY!
>> OH, OH, OH, NO BITING!
OUCH!
HE'S GOT SHARP TEETH!
[Louie snarling]
>> LOUIE, YOU HAVE TO BE
BEAUTIFUL, AND BEHAVE GOOD.
>> ALL RIGHT, IT'S OKAY.
>> HE'S GOIN' INTO A DOGGY
CONTEST.
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> YEAH, HE'S GONNA DO GREAT.
>> I COULD SEE US NOW: ME AND
LITTLE LOUIE WALKING.
HI! COME ON, LOUIE, HI!
HI!
YOU KNOW, HE MAY NOT WIN THIS
CONTEST, BUT HE'LL BE THE CUTEST
LITTLE DOG THERE!
>> THAT'S FOR SURE.
>> I AM SHAKING!
THIS [bleep] MESS I'M IN.
I WANNA ACTUALLY KILL SOMEBODY
RIGHT NOW.
>> WELL, DON'T KILL ME.
>> THIS IS HOW I'M SHAKING.
MY SISTER JANINE PULLED THROUGH,
AND GOT ME THE HOUSE THAT I
WANTED.
TODAY, I'M FINALLY MOVING, BUT
IT'S A NIGHTMARE, THERE'S SO
MUCH TO DO.
>> I HOPE YOU STAY IN THIS HOUSE
MORE THAN A YEAR.
>> I'LL BE STAYING IN THIS HOUSE
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
>> I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
>> MY NERVES ARE SHOT.
I'VE MOVED FIVE TIMES IN FIVE
YEARS.
THANK GOD FOR DROP DEAD JEN
AGAIN, 'CAUSE IF I HAVE TO
DO THIS BY MYSELF, I WILL LOSE
MY [bleep] MIND.
>> YOU'RE RIGHT ACROSS THE
HIGHWAY FROM ME.
>> OH, THAT'S GOOD.
>> I LOVE THAT, AND WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE LOTS OF CRAZY PARTIES.
>> YES, I WANNA THROW ONE
IMMEDIATELY.
>> WOW!
OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT ALL THIS
WORK.
>> WHAT IF I COULD DO TO ALL
THIS [bleep]!
>> WHAT DO YOU WANNA START WITH?
>> I DON'T EVEN KNOW, I JUST
CAN'T THINK RIGHT NOW.
I--I--I NEED A MOMENT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> EVERYTHING'S HAPPENING TOO
FAST.
>> HAVE A MOMENT.
>> I JUST WANT EVERYTHING TO
VANISH, SO I CAN HAVE A NICE
HOUSEWARMING PARTY.
>> IT'S VERY QUIET HERE.
>> I KNOW, I DON'T HEAR
NOTHIN'.
>> WELL, I HOPE THEY ENJOY THEIR
LAST QUIET NIGHT ON THE BLOCK.
>> I KNOW, BECAUSE WE'RE BACK.
>> PARTYING RUNS THROUGH MY
BLOOD.
MY UNCLE SALLY DOGS LOVED
BIG PARTIES.
ASK ANYBODY, THEY KNOW,
"BIG ANGIE'S HAVING A PARTY?
WE GOTTA GO."
OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS MESS.
>> COME ON, LET'S GO OUTSIDE--
>> OH, MY [bleep] GOD, I'M
SCARED.
>> OH, MY GOD!
ANGELA!
>> DUDE, THIS IS BIZARRE!
>> LOOK AT ALL THOSE FURS.
YOU HAVE A ZOO OVER THERE.
>> THIS NOT NORMAL.
>> HAVE A [bleep] YARD SALE,
I MEAN IT.
>> YARD SALE?
I NEED TO GO KILL MYSELF.
>> LET NEIL TAKE CARE OF THIS.
[laughs]
>> YOU WANTED TO MOVE IN.
THERE IT IS!
I NEED A BREAK FROM MOVING, SO
I'M SIGNING LOUIE UP FOR THE DOG
SHOW.
HELLO.
>> HI, WHO IS THIS?
>> HI, THAT'S LITTLE LOUIE.
>> THAT'S LITTLE LOUIE?
>> I REALLY WANT LITTLE LOUIE TO
BE IN THE DOG SHOW.
ONE THAT, YOU KNOW, THEY WALK,
THEY LOOK NICE.
>> OBVIOUSLY, THE VERY FIRST
THING YOU HAVE TO DO IS HAVE
A BEAUTIFUL DOG.
>> THAT'S MY LITTLE LOUIE!
>> SO THAT'S A GOOD START.
BUT AFTER THAT, HE DOES NEED
THE BASIC OBEDIENCE.
>> OH, HE DOES.
I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST, YOU KNOW,
WALK HIM AROUND AND LOOK CUTE,
'CAUSE WE'RE USED TO DOING THAT.
WE DO THAT EVERY DAY.
>> HE NEEDS TO RESPOND TO BODY
LANGUAGE, TO HAND SIGNALS, AND
TO VOICE.
>> SIT, LOUIE, SIT!
I COULD START AT THE BOTTOM.
>> WELL, ALL DOGS HAVE TO START
AT THE BOTTOM.
BUT IF YOU HAVE A REALLY BRIGHT
DOG, THEY CAN LEARN IT QUICKLY.
>> TO ME, HE'S SMART.
>> WELL, UH, LITTLE LOUIE
IS ABOUT TO TAKE A DUMP.
>> SO I THINK WE HAVE TO DO
A LOT OF TRAINING.
>> YES, YOU DO.
>> I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A DOG SHOW
BEFORE, BUT I DO WATCH IT ON TV.
I DON'T THINK IT'S THAT HARD.
>> I'M GONNA SHOW YOU JUST WHAT
YOUR DOG IS CAPABLE OF DOING.
>> OVER!
[inspiring music]
*
OVER!
HEEL!
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS.
I DON'T THINK LOUIE CAN DO ALL
THIS.
HE'S GONNA HAVE TO WIN ON
LOOKS ONLY.
WELL, I REALLY THINK LITTLE
LOUIE COULD WIN.
>> WELL, HE'S PIDDLIN' ON THE,
UH...
>> LOUIE!
>> NOW, THAT'S A FAIL IN A DOG
SHOW.
IT'S GONNA BE HARDER THAN I
THOUGHT, BUT I'M GONNA DO
WHATEVER IT TAKES TO WIN,
BECAUSE I HATE TO LOSE.
>> I'M GONNA SET YOU UP WITH
A TRAINER, AND WE WILL SEE YOU
SATURDAY FOR THE SHOW.
>> OH, GOD.
OH, HAVE I GOT SOMEBODY FOR YOU!
SHE GOT BIG BOOBS, A NICE,
FAT ASS...
AND SHE'S ALSO 65 YEARS OLD.
>> OUR FIRST PARTY.
LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN!
>> OH!
[shrieking]
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> ANGELA!
[house music playing]
*
>> HI, BIG!
>> WHAT'S UP?
[audible pecking]
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> OH...JUST MOVED INTO THE NEW
HOUSE.
>> HOW'S THE HOUSE, THOUGH?
IT'S GOOD?
>> THIS HOUSE IS THE BOMB!
I'M GONNA HAVE A HOUSEWARMING
PARTY.
>> OH, YEAH?
>> I WANT YOU THERE.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN'.
MY LAST [bleep] HOUSEWARMING
PARTY, I GOT 65 STITCHES ON MY
ASS.
I WAS SO [bleep] WACK, I FELL
ON THE TOILET BOWL BRUSH CLEANER
THING, DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE I HAD
THIS CUT.
PICKED UP MY PANTS, STANDIN' AT
THE PARTY...
>> COVERED IN BLOOD.
>> ALL MY FRIENDS THINK, LIKE,
YOU KNOW, I HAD MY PERIOD OR
SOMETHIN'.
>> [laughs]
>> MY HOUSEWARMING PARTIES ARE
ALWAYS FULL OF SURPRISES.
WAIT TILL FRANKIE SEES THE
SURPRISE I HAVE FOR HIM.
>> DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
>> I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
>> OH, HAVE I GOT SOMEBODY FOR
YOU!
>> WHO DO YOU HAVE FOR ME?
>> SHE'S THE BEST.
YOU WILL LOVE HER.
SHE'S BLONDE.
SHE GOT BIG BOOBS, A NICE, FAT
ASS...
AND SHE'S ALSO 65 YEARS OLD.
SANDY HAS BEEN DYING TO MEET
FRANKIE EVER SINCE SHE LAID HER
EYES ON HIM AT THE BAR.
>> I'M GONNA MAKE SOME BLOODY
MARY, YOU WANT SOME?
MAKE SURE YOU MAKE IT NICE 'N'
SPICY.
>> DOES MY BLONDE LOVE IT LIKE
THAT?
>> YOUR BLONDE LOVES IT LIKE
THAT.
>> I'M TAKING LITTLE LOUIE TO
GET TRAINED FOR HIS FIRST DOG
SHOW.
HI, DEBBIE!
>> HI!
>> I'M ANGELA.
>> NICE TO MEET YOU.
AREN'T YOU ADORABLE, THOUGH?
WE'RE GONNA SEE WHAT LOUIE CAN
DO.
>> OH, LOUIE NEEDS A LOT OF
WORK.
>> LET'S GO!
>> LISTEN, I'M VERY COMPETITIVE.
I HAVE TO WIN THIS CONTEST, AND
I CAN'T WAIT TO GET STARTED.
>> LET'S WORK WITH YOU WALKING
WITH HIM.
>> COME ON, LOUIE, WE'RE GOING
TO THE SHOW.
>> TRY TO GET HIS ATTENTION.
>> COME ON, LOUIE.
[tongue clicking]
COME ON, LOUIE.
[kissing noises]
>> OKAY.
>> COME ON, COME ON.
[tongue clicking]
>> NO! AW...
>> HE DOESN'T WALK WELL.
>> WELL...[laughs]
>> LOUIE KNOWS HOW TO PEE AND
LOOK CUTE.
HE DON'T KNOW HOW TO WALK.
HOW COULD HE LEARN HOW TO WALK?
I CARRY HIM.
>> RIGHT NOW, HE'S, LIKE, HAVING
A SPRINKLE PARTY.
LET'S GO IN THE BACK.
>> OH, LOOK AT THIS!
>> I--WELL, THIS DON'T LOOK THAT
HARD.
I'M STARTING TO GET NERVOUS.
I'M SEEING HOOPS, AND THINGS.
>> WHEN YOU'RE IN THE
COMPETITION, THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING IS HIM PAYING ATTENTION TO
YOU, AND YOUR VOICE HAS TO BE
SERIOUS AND NOT TOO SCARY, BUT
NOT SILLY.
TRY THAT.
>> LOUIE!
>> NO, NO, WE'RE SINGING TO
LOUIE, THAT'S SINGING.
>> LOUIE.
>> LITTLE FIRMER, YOU COULD BE A
LITTLE FIRMER.
>> LOUIE.
>> OKAY.
>> LOUIE, LOUIE--
>> I WANT YOU TO TRY TO KEEPING
HIS ATTENTION.
>> LOUIE.
>> ALL RIGHT, UH...
>> WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
THIS IS MY VOICE.
>> LOUIE.
>> LOUIE...
IT AIN'T GONNA WORK.
>> THIS HERE IS PROBABLY THE
SCARIEST, OKAY, 'CAUSE IT HAS
MOTION.
DOGS DON'T LIKE MOTION UNDER
THEIR FEET.
OH, LOOK AT YOU!
OH, HE'S FINE.
>> YAY!
>> LOOK AT THAT.
WE HAVE A STAR.
>> COME ON, LOUIE, COME ON!
GOOD BOY.
COME ON, LOUIE.
>> COME ON.
YEAH, GOOD BOY!
>> YAY!
>> YES, COME ON. YEE-HAW!
>> OH, LOUIE, YOU'RE SO SMART.
LOUIE'S MAKING MAMA SO PROUD.
HE CAN'T WALK STRAIGHT, BUT HE'S
JUMPING THROUGH THE HOOPS.
I THINK I CAN DO THIS.
TONIGHT'S MY HOUSEWARMING PARTY.
IT TOOK FOREVER TO MOVE IN, BUT
WE DID IT.
TIME TO PARTY, PARTY, PARTY!
>> WE'RE HERE!
>> WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
>> OUR FIRST PARTY, LET'S MAKE
THIS HAPPEN!
>> SHOTS, FRANKIE, SHOTS!
>> ANGELA THROWS THE BEST
PARTIES, EVER.
>> WE NEVER GO TO BED BEFORE
THE SUN COMES UP, IT'S JUST
THE BEST.
>> ANTHONY, TO YOU!
THE HOTTEST BARTENDER IN THE
DRUNKEN MAFIA.
>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
>> FRANKIE'S HERE, HE'S SO HOT.
WAIT 'TIL MY GIRLFRIEND SANDY
GETS HER HANDS ON FRANKIE.
SHE IS A LUNATIC.
[shouting]
THE PARTY'S ON!
EVERYBODY'S DANCING, DRINKING,
DOING SHOTS, AND GOD KNOWS WHAT
ELSE.
>> YOU WANNA MAKE OUT WITH ME?
*
>> ONCE THE ALCOHOL STARTS
KICKING IN, EVERYBODY STARTS
LOSING THEIR MIND.
>> THE INFAMOUS WIGGLE SET!
>> FRANKIE!
>> YOU HAVE TO SEE ME NOW.
>> THAT WAS NICE.
>>YOU KNOW THAT BLONDE I WAS
TELLING YOU ABOUT?
SHE'S DANCING WITH THE STRIPED
SHIRT!
>> ARE YOU SERIOUS?
THIS IS THE BLONDE WITH THE BIG
BOOBS AND THE FAT ASS?
WELL, SHE IS BLONDE.
>> OH, MY GOD, SANDY'S IN HEAVEN
RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS WHY ALL THE WOMEN LOVE
FRANKIE.
HE'S GOING RIGHT ALONG WITH IT,
HE PLAYS IT UP, AND EVERYONE'S
HAPPY.
>> IN YOUR MOUTH!
>> NOW LEAN BACK.
>> YOU'RE GOOD?
>> WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT THAT
FRANKIE AND SANDY WOULD BE
HITTIN' IT OFF THIS WELL?
>> COME ON.
>> WE'LL GO?
>> COME ON.
>> SHE'S GOING.
>> SHE'S GOING!
>> YEA-A-A-AH!
>> IT'S ON!
>> FRANKIE'S HOT.
>> O-OH!
>> SANDY HAS TAKEN OFF HER
[bleep] CLOTHES.
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> FRANKIE NOW TOOK OFF HIS
CLOTHES, AND HE'S IN HIS
UNDERWEAR, LOOKING MIGHTY CUTE.
SANDY IS IN HER [bleep] BLOOMERS
LOOKING KINDA SCARY.
>> LOOK AT SANDY.
WHERE'S SANDY'S CLOTHES?
>> HE IS ADORABLE!
>> THIS GIRL: IS SHE OUT OF HER
[bleep] MIND?
THIS BITCH IS GYRATIN' ON
FRANKIE.
THAT SHOULD BE ME.
>> OH!
[shrieking]
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> SHE OKAY?
>> GET UP, GET UP!
>> CALL THE AMBULANCE!
>> SHE HAS TO GO TO A HOSPITAL.
>> GET A TOWEL.
>> SHE BROKE HER ARM?
>> IT'S BAD.
>> TODAY'S THE DOG SHOW.
LOUIE, THIS WAY.
I DON'T KNOW HOW WE'RE GONNA
PULL THIS ONE OFF.
IT'S GONNA BE A MIRACLE.
LOUIE!
[house music playing]
[people shouting, laughing]
>> AN-GE-LA!
HE IS ADORABLE!
>> EVERYBODY'S HAVING A GREAT
TIME, WATCHING SANDY AND
FRANKIE, WE'RE ALL CRACKING UP,
LAUGHING. ALL OF A SUDDEN--
>> OH!
[shrieking]
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> SHE OKAY?
>> GET UP!
SHE HAS TO GO TO A HOSPITAL.
>> GET A TOWEL.
>> SHE BROKE HER ARM?
>> CALL THE AMBULANCE!
>> HEY, NOBODY CALL NOBODY.
>> HER HOUSEWARMING PARTY...
SOMETHING ALWAYS [bleep]
HAPPENS.
>> SHE HAS TO GO IN AN
AMBULANCE.
HER ARM IS DESTROYED.
>> I'LL BE ALL RIGHT, THOUGH.
HONEST, I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
>> YOU GOTTA GO TO THE HOSPITAL.
[laughter]
>> GO, SANDY!
>> I'M IN A PANIC, WORRYING
ABOUT HOW TO GET SANDY TO THE
HOSPITAL, AND SHE'S WORRYING
ABOUT MISSING THE PARTY.
IS SHE CRAZY, OR WHAT?
>> IT WAS WORTH EVERY BIT!
>> ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE GONNA BE
ALL RIGHT!
EVEN THOUGH SANDY'S ON HER WAY
TO THE HOSPITAL IN THE
AMBULANCE, PARTY MUST GO ON.
>> LET'S DRINK TO SANDY!
>> I BREAK HEARTS.
>> YOU BREAK, YOU BREAK LIMBS.
>> I--I BREAK HEARTS, I BREAK
ELBOWS.
>> AW, I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE
A SHOT!
>> ANGELA!
>> SANDY!
>> HI, ANGELA!
>> SANDY IS MY FRIEND, THE
PLUMBER WITH THE HUMMER, NOT TO
BE CONFUSED WITH THE OTHER SANDY
WHO FELL HARD FOR FRANKIE.
>> WHAT DO YOU WANNA DRINK?
>> I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WINE.
WHAT ARE YOU HAVING?
>> A LITTLE PATRON SHOT.
>> I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WINE,
WHITE WINE.
>> NEVER DO WITH YOUR LEFT HAND.
ALWAYS THE RIGHT.
>> I'M LEFTY.
>> IT'S A RULE.
HOW ARE THE GUYS?
ANY HOT ONES?
OH, ALL THE GUYS ARE GREAT.
THEY ALL TREAT ME GOOD.
>> I NEVER SAW A PLUMBER WITH
[bleep] NAILS.
>> I KNOW, ALL THE GUYS SAY
THAT.
IT'S WHY YOU WEAR IT TO WORK,
LOVES.
>> YOU'RE A CLASSY PLUMBER,
SANDY.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> AFTER LAST NIGHT WITH THE
OTHER SANDY, IT SEEMS LIKE
SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH MY SINK
BY THE HOT TUB.
YOU PROBABLY DON'T HAVE THE
WATER ON.
>> OOH!
>> LOOK AT THAT!
THAT WAS AN EASY JOB.
>> I LOVE HAVING SANDY AS
A PLUMBER, AS A FRIEND.
I'VE NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND THAT
HAD A JOB LIKE THAT.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED
TO [bleep] SANDY?
THANK GOD, SHE'S ALL RIGHT.
>> AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID AT
THE HOSPITAL?
"TELL EVERYBODY I--SORRY, BUT
TELL THEM IT WAS WELL WORTH IT."
AND SHE WOULD DO IT AGAIN.
>> SHE'S SICK.
>> WELL, I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT
STARTED IT.
>> SHE THINKS HE'S THE MOST
GORGEOUS THING SHE EVER SAW,
WHICH HE IS.
SO, YOU KNOW HER, SHE ATTACKED
HIM.
I DON'T THINK ANYBODY'S WORTH
FORTY-[bleep] STITCHES.
I DON'T THINK SO.
[dog barking]
TODAY'S THE DOG SHOW, AND I'M
READY TO WHIP SOME ASS.
>> WHAT'S UP, BLONDIE?
READY FOR THIS DOG SHOW?
>> NOT REALLY. YOU?
>> ON A SATURDAY MORNING?
I GOT HOME 4:00 IN THE MORNING.
>> THAT MAKES TWO OF US.
>> I'M IMPRESSED.
LOOK HOW GOOD THEY SIT.
I CAN'T EVEN GET MY SON TO DO
THAT.
>> ME AND LOUIE HAVE BEEN
TRAINING ALL WEEK, AND IT'S
REALLY BEEN HARD.
BUT NOW, I'M READY TO WIN THIS
DOG SHOW.
>> FIRST DOG ON THE LINE,
PLEASE!
READY!
>> DO YOU TRAIN MEN?
'CAUSE I'M GONNA BRING MINE
HERE.
>> ALL DOGS ARE BEING JUDGED ON
OBEDIENCE AND BEAUTY.
THANK GOD FOR THE BEAUTY PART.
>> HE DEFINITELY CAN'T DO ANY
TRICKS, EXCEPT LIFT HIS LEGS.
>> I'M GONNA DO WHATEVER IT
TAKES FOR LOUIE TO JUMP THROUGH
THESE HOOPS AND NOT PEE ON THEM.
>> COULD YOU COME WITH ME?
I'M NERVOUS.
>> SURE!
I KNOW HE'S NEVER BEEN OFF-LEASH
BEFORE, BUT WE'LL TRY IT.
>> OOH!
[dog whimpering]
>> DOG SOUNDS LIKE ME.
>> COME ON, LOUIE!
>> JUMP, LOUIE!
>> GET OVER THE [bleep] JUMP,
LOUIE.
>> EXCELLENT.
>> LOUIE!
>> WE HAVE A FUGITIVE.
>> OKAY, LET'S PUT THE LEASH ON
HIM.
>> I GOTTA SEE THIS ONE.
>> LINDSEY, IS THIS BLURRY, OR
IS IT MY EYES?
>> LOOK AT 'IM, LOOK AT 'IM.
>> LOOK WHO'S THERE!
LOUIE, COME!
>> THIS IS GETTIN' [bleep]
SCARY.
>> COME ON.
>> COME ON, YOU DUMB LITTLE...
>> LOUIE, THIS WAY.
>> HE CAN'T EVEN WALK OVER
THE [bleep] THING.
>> LOUIE, THIS WAY.
>> HE WINS FOR THE DUMBEST DOG.
>> AT LEAST.
>> LOUIE, YOU DID SO BAD!
>> HE'S ONLY A BABY.
MY LITTLE LOUIE DIDN'T DO SO
WELL IN OBEDIENCE, SO THE ONLY
[bleep] CHANCE WE GOT RIGHT NOW
IS LOUIE'S LOOKS.
>> COME ON, LOUIE!
>> LOOK, SHE HAS TO PUT HIM ON
THE TABLE...
SO SHE CAN FEEL HIS ASS.
>> LIKE YOU DID LAST NIGHT.
>> DON'T TALK TO ME, JEN.
>> MAYBE HE'LL DANCE ON THE
TABLE LIKE I DANCE ON THE BAR.
>> SERIOUSLY?
>> PLEASE, PUT HIM DOWN ON THE
FLOOR, AND GO UP AND BACK.
>> OH, GOD, THEY'RE GONNA JUDGE
HIM BY HIS WALK.
>> LOOK AT HER FACE.
>> PLEASE TAKE YOUR DOG UP AND
BACK.
>> LOUIE!
I DON'T KNOW HOW WE'RE GONNA
PULL THIS ONE OFF, IT'S GONNA BE
A MIRACLE.
>> READY!
AND GO!
>> HERE WE GO, THEY'RE
ANNOUNCING THE WINNERS!
>> ONE, TWO, THREE, AND FOUR!
COME TO THE CENTER, PLEASE!
HAVEN'T HAD YOUR FILL OF
[house music playing]
*
>> PLEASE TAKE YOUR DOG UP AND
BACK.
>> LOUIE CAN'T EVEN WALK
STRAIGHT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO
WIN THIS DOG SHOW?
>> READY!
AND GO.
>> COME ON, LOUIE.
LOUIE'S WALKING LIKE A CHAMPION!
GO, LOUIE!
>> GOOD, LOUIE!
>> COME ON, LOUIE.
YOU'RE VERY GOOD.
>> THAT'S SOME WALK.
>> UP AND BACK, PLEASE.
>> UP AND BACK, UP AND BACK!
LOOK HOW CUTE MY LOUIE IS.
>> HERE WE GO, THEY'RE
ANNOUNCING THE WINNERS.
>> ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT'S
HAPPENING?
>> HE'S GONNA WIN FOR
THE SMALLEST DOG.
>> THAT'S NOT A CONTEST.
>> WHY NOT?
>> EVEN IF LOUIE DOESN'T WIN,
HE'LL STILL BE MY LITTLE PRINCE.
>> ONE, TWO, THREE, AND FOUR,
COME TO THE CENTER, PLEASE!
>> NOW, WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO?
>> CONGRATULATIONS!
>> OHH!
>> FIRST PLACE.
>> HE WON!
>> SECOND PLACE.
>> GO LOUIE!
>> THIRD PLACE.
>> I TOLD YOU WE WERE GONNA WIN,
LITTLE CUTIE.
>> LOUIE DIDN'T WIN FOR
OBEDIENCE, BUT HE DID WIN FOR
BEING THE CUTEST LITTLE DOG, AND
THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME!
>> HE GOT A TROPHY.
>> HE'LL PEE ON THAT.
>> HE'LL MAKE LOVE TO IT.
>> [laughs]
>> LOUIE, LOUIE, LOUIE!
>> NEXT TIME ON BIG ANG...
>> WE LOVE YOU, ANGELA!
>> ME AND MY LADIES ARE GOING TO
FLORIDA.
YEAH! YEAH!
NATURALLY, I CAN'T FIND MY
BATHING SUITS IN THE STORE.
GUESS WHY?
WHAT ARE YOUSE, BLIND?
>> ANGIE MAY NEED A BIGGER
MEASURING TAPE.
>> I BETTER FIND A CONDO, 'CAUSE
THIS IS HOW I WANNA LIVE.
WHEN I GO ON VACATION, I SPEND
ALL THE MONEY AND ALL THE CREDIT
CARDS.
>> YOU CAN'T GET A CONDO?
HOW ARE YOU GONNA GET A [bleep]
CONDO?