1 00:00:03,141 --> 00:00:06,322 I need to come back. I wanna move back in. 2 00:00:06,422 --> 00:00:08,122 - I disagree. - And I want the pills. 3 00:00:08,222 --> 00:00:09,242 The ones I had last time. 4 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:12,123 - I won't recommend those. - Well, they'll be in the file. 5 00:00:12,223 --> 00:00:16,283 No, I'm sorry. Not unless I deem them necessary. 6 00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:18,004 I rang Dr Gill. 7 00:00:18,104 --> 00:00:19,684 Told him you'd come in. 8 00:00:19,784 --> 00:00:21,564 He said there was no need. 9 00:00:21,664 --> 00:00:23,845 - No need? - For you to be here. 10 00:00:23,945 --> 00:00:25,405 What else did he say? 11 00:00:25,505 --> 00:00:28,845 He said that you'd been working your way through your final few sessions 12 00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:32,206 but that, in his view, you were ready to finish therapy. 13 00:00:32,306 --> 00:00:33,926 That's it, is it? 14 00:00:34,026 --> 00:00:38,087 He didn't mention the fact that he'd been lying to me this whole time? 15 00:00:38,187 --> 00:00:42,188 Rachel, what happened with Kester Gill was a huge disappointment. 16 00:00:43,228 --> 00:00:46,769 You've clearly had real difficulties. 17 00:00:46,869 --> 00:00:49,369 But the problems you're experiencing... 18 00:00:49,469 --> 00:00:51,089 troubles with your partner, 19 00:00:51,189 --> 00:00:52,850 questions about your future, 20 00:00:52,950 --> 00:00:55,530 issues about how you look, your self-esteem... 21 00:00:55,630 --> 00:00:59,451 these are found in the majority of people your age. 22 00:00:59,551 --> 00:01:03,552 You just process them differently. 23 00:01:04,352 --> 00:01:08,372 Kester thinks you're ready to end therapy here. 24 00:01:08,472 --> 00:01:12,293 Well, then, we've got a problem, haven't we? 25 00:01:12,393 --> 00:01:16,394 Cos I'm not going anywhere. 26 00:01:57,481 --> 00:02:00,501 She's recommending a short course only. 27 00:02:00,601 --> 00:02:01,942 Take one at dinnertimes, 28 00:02:02,042 --> 00:02:04,622 and if you feel funny or a little over-sleepy, 29 00:02:04,722 --> 00:02:08,723 then you just let us know, OK? 30 00:02:09,683 --> 00:02:11,903 If I wasn't allowed to stay in hospital, 31 00:02:12,003 --> 00:02:16,004 then I'd just have to take a bit of the hospital with me. 32 00:02:18,285 --> 00:02:22,145 Rae, shut the door. 33 00:02:22,245 --> 00:02:24,266 Well, you'll have more time to yell at me that way, 34 00:02:24,366 --> 00:02:25,906 and I won't get kicked out so quickly. 35 00:02:26,006 --> 00:02:29,066 Well, you won't get kicked out. They don't want me here. 36 00:02:29,166 --> 00:02:33,167 And you're just gonna try and convince me. 37 00:02:33,927 --> 00:02:36,348 We've got two more sessions. 38 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:40,448 Oh! 39 00:02:43,249 --> 00:02:47,250 Let me see. 40 00:02:53,811 --> 00:02:56,351 This one's because of Finn. 41 00:02:56,451 --> 00:02:59,272 Before I found out he was cheating on me. 42 00:02:59,372 --> 00:03:01,592 And this one... 43 00:03:01,692 --> 00:03:03,992 Well, this one's because of you. 44 00:03:04,092 --> 00:03:06,873 And it's worse. It hurt more. 45 00:03:06,973 --> 00:03:08,593 These are just setbacks. 46 00:03:08,693 --> 00:03:12,714 Setbacks? Is that what you just called them, setbacks? 47 00:03:12,814 --> 00:03:16,815 And finding out my therapist isn't actually a therapist, what's that? Just another setback? 48 00:03:19,815 --> 00:03:23,076 - In March this year... - Oh, what's this, Kester? Another story? 49 00:03:23,176 --> 00:03:25,196 - No, not a story. - What is it, then? 50 00:03:25,296 --> 00:03:28,077 It's an explanation. Of what's been happening. 51 00:03:28,177 --> 00:03:31,997 Rae, in March, they put all the doctors in here under review. 52 00:03:32,097 --> 00:03:35,558 I mean, you name it... if you could make it into a form, it was sent my way. 53 00:03:35,658 --> 00:03:38,078 Apparently, I became difficult to work with. 54 00:03:38,178 --> 00:03:41,239 I was suspended, and even though I was banned from the building, 55 00:03:41,339 --> 00:03:43,559 I kept coming back. 56 00:03:43,659 --> 00:03:47,660 Because of the duty of care I had... to my patient. 57 00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:52,061 To the patient I care about the most. 58 00:03:52,381 --> 00:03:56,202 And, if I'm honest, to the person I care about the most. 59 00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,882 But by that point, it didn't matter, Rae, because we did it. 60 00:03:58,982 --> 00:04:01,643 You'd got there. 61 00:04:01,743 --> 00:04:03,563 You were ready. 62 00:04:03,663 --> 00:04:06,963 Yeah, and then all the bad stuff started happening. 63 00:04:07,063 --> 00:04:09,324 Because of the work you did, 64 00:04:09,424 --> 00:04:13,165 it means you were prepared for the bad things. 65 00:04:13,265 --> 00:04:15,365 Look, you might wish to continue with therapy, 66 00:04:15,465 --> 00:04:17,645 but you can go to Bristol, trust me. 67 00:04:17,745 --> 00:04:19,486 Oh. 68 00:04:19,586 --> 00:04:21,326 If you don't believe me, look in your diary. 69 00:04:21,426 --> 00:04:25,047 - The diary doesn't work. - I disagree. 70 00:04:25,147 --> 00:04:27,087 It's all in there, Rae. 71 00:04:27,187 --> 00:04:30,208 I mean, I've never read it myself, but I know the ending. 72 00:04:30,308 --> 00:04:34,308 It's about this amazing girl who achieves all her dreams. 73 00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:52,831 Well, this is stupid. 74 00:04:54,912 --> 00:04:58,912 I'm scared. 75 00:04:59,873 --> 00:05:03,873 You and the rest of the world. 76 00:05:15,195 --> 00:05:19,196 You'd better be right about this. 77 00:05:24,877 --> 00:05:28,778 I had no idea if I could make it to the end of the street, 78 00:05:28,878 --> 00:05:30,818 let alone Bristol. 79 00:05:30,918 --> 00:05:34,339 I had no idea if things were going to be OK. 80 00:05:34,439 --> 00:05:38,439 I just had to give it a go. 81 00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:47,301 Oh, you're back, love. I thought you were staying at the hospital. 82 00:05:47,401 --> 00:05:49,741 Decided to give it a go. 83 00:05:49,841 --> 00:05:51,942 Are you sure? 84 00:05:52,042 --> 00:05:56,042 Not really. 85 00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:06,224 Karim got a new job. 86 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,025 It's in a factory. 87 00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:10,385 That's great. 88 00:06:10,485 --> 00:06:11,665 Isn't it? 89 00:06:11,765 --> 00:06:13,265 Yeah, it... 90 00:06:13,365 --> 00:06:15,426 means he'll be going away for a little bit. 91 00:06:15,526 --> 00:06:16,826 It's a bit too far to commute. 92 00:06:16,926 --> 00:06:18,706 - Why, where is it? - Monastir. 93 00:06:18,806 --> 00:06:19,307 - Where? - Tunisia. 94 00:06:19,407 --> 00:06:22,107 He goes at the end of the week. 95 00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:25,027 It's a six-month contract, but he's allowed to come home 96 00:06:25,127 --> 00:06:29,028 for a weekend in the middle of it, so it's not all bad. 97 00:06:29,128 --> 00:06:31,989 Oh, Finn rang to say he was sorry. 98 00:06:32,089 --> 00:06:34,789 I told him to shove his apology up his arse. 99 00:06:34,889 --> 00:06:38,890 MUSIC: Catherine by PJ Harvey 100 00:06:44,131 --> 00:06:48,132 Kester said the answers were in the diary. 101 00:06:50,372 --> 00:06:54,373 All I could see was page after page of cringeworthy bullshit. 102 00:06:58,813 --> 00:07:02,574 I had to concentrate on the here and now. 103 00:07:07,415 --> 00:07:09,935 I had to revise. 104 00:07:19,377 --> 00:07:23,378 Rae, concentrate on your own stuff. 105 00:07:24,258 --> 00:07:26,278 I needed to focus. 106 00:07:26,378 --> 00:07:29,719 But how could I think about Lady Macbeth when my head was full of 107 00:07:29,819 --> 00:07:32,159 Finn fucking Nelson? 108 00:07:32,259 --> 00:07:35,160 And I couldn't start crying to Chloe about my problems. 109 00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:37,640 She'd only just left hospital. 110 00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:41,741 I had to act normal. 111 00:07:42,701 --> 00:07:43,961 Um... 112 00:07:44,061 --> 00:07:47,282 Guys, what... what is the scene number, again, with the ghost in it? 113 00:07:47,382 --> 00:07:49,122 - So shiny... - You know the one I mean? 114 00:07:49,222 --> 00:07:51,643 Do you know what the number is? 115 00:07:51,743 --> 00:07:53,283 Hello? 116 00:07:53,383 --> 00:07:54,923 Yeah, definitely, Rae. Yeah. 117 00:07:55,023 --> 00:07:56,723 Well, you're not even listening. 118 00:07:56,823 --> 00:07:59,084 Oh, I'm picking my dress for the leavers' ball. 119 00:07:59,184 --> 00:08:01,364 Um... 120 00:08:01,464 --> 00:08:05,465 We are supposed to be studying for performing arts theory. 121 00:08:06,105 --> 00:08:09,166 Performing arts theory's easy. 122 00:08:09,266 --> 00:08:11,126 OK. 123 00:08:11,226 --> 00:08:14,807 Got your dress yet, Rae? 124 00:08:14,907 --> 00:08:18,047 - Well, what about Finn? - What about Finn? 125 00:08:18,147 --> 00:08:19,928 - Is he wearing a tux? - I don't know. 126 00:08:20,028 --> 00:08:22,528 - He would look fit in a tux. - Definitely. 127 00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:24,088 He doesn't have to wear one... 128 00:08:24,188 --> 00:08:25,729 Chop's only wearing one 129 00:08:25,829 --> 00:08:28,489 cos he's borrowed it from his dad's mate Len, who's a magician. 130 00:08:28,589 --> 00:08:31,329 All I wanna do is revise. 131 00:08:31,429 --> 00:08:33,490 Do you want a hand with your stuff? Are you OK? 132 00:08:33,590 --> 00:08:37,591 Do you want a hand? Rae, are you all right? 133 00:08:46,352 --> 00:08:50,293 What the fuck was she doing here? 134 00:08:50,393 --> 00:08:51,653 Rae... 135 00:08:51,753 --> 00:08:53,413 What? 136 00:08:53,513 --> 00:08:55,534 - Can I talk to you, please? - No. 137 00:08:55,634 --> 00:08:58,174 - No, I just want to explain myself... - Katie, what are you doing? 138 00:08:58,274 --> 00:08:59,854 Whoa, Rae, what's going on? 139 00:08:59,954 --> 00:09:01,455 Nothing. 140 00:09:01,555 --> 00:09:05,055 Well, it doesn't look like nothing. 141 00:09:05,155 --> 00:09:09,156 - I just came to pick Rae up. - It's fine. 142 00:09:11,076 --> 00:09:13,537 Rae, is there something you're not telling me? 143 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,057 No. 144 00:09:15,157 --> 00:09:18,578 Hiya, Katie, you OK? 145 00:09:18,678 --> 00:09:21,378 Just so you know, if I found out you've done something to my mate cry 146 00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:23,459 while I've been in hospital, 147 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:25,939 I'm gonna do something to make you cry. 148 00:09:26,039 --> 00:09:28,339 D'you know what I'm saying? 149 00:09:28,439 --> 00:09:31,380 Yeah. 150 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,380 - Right, I'll call you later. - OK. 151 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:38,481 Come on. 152 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:56,504 Whatever happened between me and Finn... 153 00:09:56,604 --> 00:09:59,545 ... and it was hardly anything... 154 00:09:59,645 --> 00:10:01,505 ... it's over, OK? 155 00:10:01,605 --> 00:10:04,586 OK. 156 00:10:04,686 --> 00:10:06,686 You were all he could think about. 157 00:10:07,686 --> 00:10:10,547 - Doubt it. - I'm telling the truth, Rae. 158 00:10:10,647 --> 00:10:13,467 Fine, yeah. 159 00:10:13,567 --> 00:10:17,068 Never mind. 160 00:10:17,168 --> 00:10:20,348 - What? - Nothing, it doesn't matter. 161 00:10:20,448 --> 00:10:22,149 No, Katie, it does, 162 00:10:22,249 --> 00:10:26,249 cos if you got something to say then... now is a good time to say it. 163 00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:29,350 Every time you see him, you bring... 164 00:10:29,450 --> 00:10:32,791 you bring your problems onto him. 165 00:10:32,891 --> 00:10:36,891 He cares about you so much that he just wants to... 166 00:10:37,731 --> 00:10:41,732 ... take that burden, you know? 167 00:10:42,212 --> 00:10:43,633 I hate to be the one to say this, 168 00:10:43,733 --> 00:10:46,993 because, listen, if... if you knew what you were doing, 169 00:10:47,093 --> 00:10:50,994 I'm sure you wouldn't do it. 170 00:10:51,094 --> 00:10:55,095 Your problems are bringing him down, Rae. 171 00:10:56,015 --> 00:11:00,015 He's just too nice a guy to say anything. 172 00:11:01,496 --> 00:11:05,496 They all are. 173 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:11,417 All of your friends. 174 00:11:13,978 --> 00:11:16,398 With you, it's like... 175 00:11:16,498 --> 00:11:18,959 you're the one with all the injuries, 176 00:11:19,059 --> 00:11:22,999 but it's them that feel the pain. 177 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,680 What, like... 178 00:11:24,780 --> 00:11:28,780 like I'm some kind of voodoo doll, is that what you're saying? 179 00:11:33,621 --> 00:11:37,382 They just think that you're always gonna be like this. 180 00:11:43,423 --> 00:11:48,864 Dear Diary, I would always be a burden to my friends and family. 181 00:11:50,024 --> 00:11:54,025 Katie could see it and, deep down, I knew it. 182 00:12:01,226 --> 00:12:04,747 Wow. Karim was leaving. 183 00:12:06,107 --> 00:12:10,108 There was no way Mum was gonna cope. 184 00:12:12,068 --> 00:12:13,688 How's your revision? 185 00:12:13,788 --> 00:12:15,969 You should go. 186 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,529 To Tunisia. 187 00:12:17,629 --> 00:12:19,449 Oh, it's not as simple as that, Rae. 188 00:12:19,549 --> 00:12:22,090 There's your sister to think about, for a start. 189 00:12:22,190 --> 00:12:24,610 I mean, bless her little heart. 190 00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:27,251 We can't go taking her over there, she'll fry like an egg. 191 00:12:27,351 --> 00:12:29,971 Mum, they do have babies in Tunisia, you know. 192 00:12:30,071 --> 00:12:32,271 That's how they end up with adults. 193 00:12:33,552 --> 00:12:35,692 And you loved Tunisia when you went before. 194 00:12:35,792 --> 00:12:38,413 You could go to the mosque. There'll be loads of mosques. 195 00:12:38,513 --> 00:12:41,613 - And Karim will be there. You love Karim. - I don't wanna talk about it. 196 00:12:41,713 --> 00:12:43,493 - Why not? - I just don't. 197 00:12:43,593 --> 00:12:45,934 You go on and on about me going off to uni 198 00:12:46,034 --> 00:12:47,694 and now you can't even leave Stamford. 199 00:12:47,794 --> 00:12:48,894 I've got to work! 200 00:12:48,994 --> 00:12:50,735 You hate work. 201 00:12:50,835 --> 00:12:54,835 I don't understand why you don't want to go. 202 00:12:55,235 --> 00:12:58,216 I do wanna go to Tunisia. 203 00:12:58,316 --> 00:13:01,337 It's my dream. 204 00:13:01,437 --> 00:13:04,497 I wanna be a good Muslim wife. 205 00:13:04,597 --> 00:13:05,897 But I'm not going. 206 00:13:05,997 --> 00:13:09,218 I can't, because who's gonna look after my baby? 207 00:13:09,318 --> 00:13:10,578 We just spoke about that. 208 00:13:10,678 --> 00:13:12,939 No. You. 209 00:13:13,039 --> 00:13:14,739 You're my baby. 210 00:13:14,839 --> 00:13:18,620 Who's gonna look after you? 211 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,380 I'm going off to uni. 212 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,580 Are you? 213 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:23,940 Because we want you to go to uni, of course we do. 214 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,301 We even broke open the non-alcoholic bloody champagne. 215 00:13:26,401 --> 00:13:27,981 But every day since then, 216 00:13:28,081 --> 00:13:32,082 things seem to be getting harder and harder for you. 217 00:13:32,682 --> 00:13:36,683 I can't leave until you can. 218 00:13:40,003 --> 00:13:44,004 And I don't think you're up to it. 219 00:13:58,286 --> 00:14:02,287 My name is Rachel Earl, and I have a rare ability. 220 00:14:03,607 --> 00:14:07,608 It's not just that my problems poison my mind. That's a given. 221 00:14:08,768 --> 00:14:11,909 My problems poison other people. 222 00:14:12,009 --> 00:14:14,509 And the closer those people get, 223 00:14:14,609 --> 00:14:17,110 the worse it becomes. 224 00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:21,210 So, what do you do when you harm the ones you love? 225 00:14:22,491 --> 00:14:25,331 You get out of their way. 226 00:16:37,594 --> 00:16:41,595 No-one was coming to save me. I'd have to do this on my own. 227 00:16:49,116 --> 00:16:51,697 When Kester said the answers were in the diary, 228 00:16:51,797 --> 00:16:55,137 maybe he was right. Maybe I had to look harder. 229 00:16:55,237 --> 00:16:57,378 Maybe I had to read through the pain. 230 00:16:57,478 --> 00:17:00,378 Now, being on your own that night was just a trigger. 231 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:03,259 What we need to figure out is why you don't like yourself. 232 00:17:03,359 --> 00:17:06,379 We need to start digging deeper, 233 00:17:06,479 --> 00:17:07,819 looking at things in your past 234 00:17:07,919 --> 00:17:09,780 and seeing how you've made sense of them, 235 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,140 things you might not have thought about for years. 236 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,581 You can't spend your life running away from stuff. 237 00:17:14,681 --> 00:17:18,221 This is about being really honest. Painfully so. 238 00:17:18,321 --> 00:17:20,302 But being honest with yourself. 239 00:17:20,402 --> 00:17:21,942 I don't get why he likes me. 240 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:25,342 It's embarrassing to be next to him. 241 00:17:25,442 --> 00:17:27,463 I'm embarrassed for him. 242 00:17:27,563 --> 00:17:30,383 You can't believe he likes you because you can't find anything 243 00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:33,424 - to like about yourself. - It's like my mind-set is... 244 00:17:33,524 --> 00:17:34,904 I just eat until it stops... 245 00:17:35,004 --> 00:17:36,784 Getting into weird patterns... 246 00:17:36,884 --> 00:17:40,885 We still make the same choices, because people can't change. 247 00:17:41,525 --> 00:17:44,726 Something broke inside me. 248 00:17:45,966 --> 00:17:49,967 Do you think perhaps your anger is borne out of frustration with yourself, 249 00:17:52,007 --> 00:17:56,008 that you're angry and frustrated with yourself for being ill? 250 00:17:58,688 --> 00:18:01,389 Maybe my illness wasn't a problem. 251 00:18:01,489 --> 00:18:05,489 Maybe it was just something I needed to learn to live with. 252 00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:10,950 Being brave isn't about never being afraid. 253 00:18:11,050 --> 00:18:15,051 It's about what you do when you are. 254 00:18:15,811 --> 00:18:18,352 Whether you can keep your head. Whether you do the right thing. 255 00:18:18,452 --> 00:18:20,632 In the spring, 256 00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:24,153 I was admitted to a mental home, 257 00:18:24,253 --> 00:18:27,153 because I kept trying to hurt myself. 258 00:18:27,253 --> 00:18:30,394 If I was to ask one of your friends what they liked about you, 259 00:18:30,494 --> 00:18:33,194 - what do you think they would say? - Our group of friends was... 260 00:18:33,294 --> 00:18:35,315 was nothing until you sprayed Rae all over it. 261 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:38,075 You're the one they always look to. 262 00:18:38,175 --> 00:18:39,315 You're the glue. 263 00:18:39,415 --> 00:18:42,676 You see yourself as a fragile thing, 264 00:18:42,776 --> 00:18:46,777 like a little broken bird, sloshing around in a bottle. 265 00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:50,917 But, basically, I think you're a pretty tough cookie. 266 00:18:51,017 --> 00:18:54,078 You don't think that people can change. 267 00:18:54,178 --> 00:18:58,179 But I know that they can. 268 00:18:58,699 --> 00:19:00,319 If I really was a voodoo doll, 269 00:19:00,419 --> 00:19:02,359 causing all that pain, 270 00:19:02,459 --> 00:19:06,460 then it was only because I'd been sticking the pins in myself. 271 00:19:07,220 --> 00:19:09,081 And if I'd stuck them in... 272 00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:13,181 then I could pull them out again. 273 00:19:14,822 --> 00:19:16,242 How are the hands? 274 00:19:16,342 --> 00:19:18,482 A bit better. 275 00:19:18,582 --> 00:19:22,003 Good. 276 00:19:22,103 --> 00:19:25,043 So, without wishing to sound rude, Rachel, 277 00:19:25,143 --> 00:19:27,444 why are you here? 278 00:19:27,544 --> 00:19:29,324 Well... 279 00:19:29,424 --> 00:19:32,165 I need your help. 280 00:19:32,265 --> 00:19:34,205 I wanna go to Bristol. 281 00:19:34,305 --> 00:19:38,006 Decided I can do it. 282 00:19:38,106 --> 00:19:42,106 So, I was wondering if you would be able to write me a letter, 283 00:19:42,706 --> 00:19:45,047 in case I don't get the grades. 284 00:19:45,147 --> 00:19:47,647 Saying what? 285 00:19:47,747 --> 00:19:51,748 Just saying that I would've got the grades if I hadn't have been in here. 286 00:19:52,508 --> 00:19:54,688 I can write a letter, 287 00:19:54,788 --> 00:19:58,789 but I'm afraid I've no idea what grades you would've got. 288 00:19:59,349 --> 00:20:01,810 Why the sudden turnaround? 289 00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:04,770 You seem so certain about things. 290 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,811 But not so long ago, you were just as certain 291 00:20:06,911 --> 00:20:09,531 you couldn't manage any of this. 292 00:20:09,631 --> 00:20:11,491 Kester says... 293 00:20:11,591 --> 00:20:13,892 that I owe it to myself to try. 294 00:20:13,992 --> 00:20:16,372 How are you going to do that? 295 00:20:16,472 --> 00:20:18,773 Well... 296 00:20:18,873 --> 00:20:22,613 ... I've just gotta learn how to handle things... 297 00:20:22,713 --> 00:20:26,714 on my own. 298 00:20:29,274 --> 00:20:33,415 I'm gonna stop waiting for someone to come and save me. 299 00:20:33,515 --> 00:20:37,516 So, do you need this letter? 300 00:20:38,876 --> 00:20:40,696 No. 301 00:20:40,796 --> 00:20:44,797 What does that mean? 302 00:20:45,237 --> 00:20:48,498 I guess it means... 303 00:20:48,598 --> 00:20:52,419 ... that we're done. 304 00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:54,819 No offence. 305 00:20:54,919 --> 00:20:57,699 I'm glad to hear it. 306 00:20:57,799 --> 00:21:01,800 No offence. 307 00:21:08,161 --> 00:21:12,162 MUSIC: The Medication Is Wearing Off by Eels 308 00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:18,703 Performing Arts Theory is two hours long. 309 00:21:18,803 --> 00:21:22,804 It's also, for many of you, your final exam, so good luck. 310 00:21:23,444 --> 00:21:25,984 Time now is two o'clock, which gives you until four o'clock. 311 00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:30,085 You may turn over your papers. 312 00:21:30,965 --> 00:21:32,506 I'd missed one exam already. 313 00:21:32,606 --> 00:21:35,626 That meant this one mattered more than ever. 314 00:21:35,726 --> 00:21:37,626 I had to make up the marks. 315 00:21:37,726 --> 00:21:41,827 I didn't know if I'd pass or fail, let alone get into Bristol. 316 00:21:41,927 --> 00:21:44,308 I just knew I had to try. 317 00:21:44,408 --> 00:21:46,548 Bit by bit, question by question, 318 00:21:46,648 --> 00:21:49,088 for no-one else other than me. 319 00:22:02,931 --> 00:22:05,351 But just because my exams were over 320 00:22:05,451 --> 00:22:07,832 didn't mean my problems suddenly were. 321 00:22:07,932 --> 00:22:10,432 And some things will never let you go. 322 00:22:10,532 --> 00:22:14,533 Not until you find the strength to deal with them. 323 00:22:15,373 --> 00:22:19,374 It was time to tell the gang about Finn. 324 00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:22,754 - No fucking way. - That's what she told me. 325 00:22:22,854 --> 00:22:24,595 - Are you serious, Rae? - That's disgusting. 326 00:22:24,695 --> 00:22:28,695 Guys... Guys... before you kick off, just hear me out, yeah? 327 00:22:29,735 --> 00:22:33,036 I haven't been easy to go out with. Trust me. 328 00:22:33,136 --> 00:22:35,436 He's meant to be your plus-one for the leavers' ball. 329 00:22:35,536 --> 00:22:38,157 He's supposed to be a plus-one for longer than that. 330 00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:41,518 Forget about Finn. Are you all right, Rae? 331 00:22:41,618 --> 00:22:44,118 Yeah, we've been worried about you. 332 00:22:44,218 --> 00:22:45,358 Well... 333 00:22:45,458 --> 00:22:49,319 that's why I wanted us to get together. 334 00:22:49,419 --> 00:22:52,359 So I can explain why I've been feeling the way 335 00:22:52,459 --> 00:22:55,600 that I've been feeling. 336 00:22:55,700 --> 00:22:59,881 OK, the only way that I can describe it is... 337 00:22:59,981 --> 00:23:03,981 ... it's like I'm walking through a forest the whole time 338 00:23:04,542 --> 00:23:06,282 and, for the most part... 339 00:23:06,382 --> 00:23:08,682 it's fine. 340 00:23:08,782 --> 00:23:10,042 It can... 341 00:23:10,142 --> 00:23:12,923 be beautiful. 342 00:23:13,023 --> 00:23:15,323 Peaceful, even. 343 00:23:15,423 --> 00:23:17,044 But... 344 00:23:17,144 --> 00:23:20,444 you always know that at some point... 345 00:23:20,544 --> 00:23:23,485 ... you're gonna come across these parts of the forest 346 00:23:23,585 --> 00:23:26,285 that you don't recognise. 347 00:23:26,385 --> 00:23:30,046 Dark corners that you didn't know were there, but... 348 00:23:30,146 --> 00:23:32,366 well, you always kind of knew they were coming. 349 00:23:32,466 --> 00:23:36,467 - Does that make sense? - Yeah. 350 00:23:37,587 --> 00:23:41,588 And that's when the world gets scary. 351 00:23:42,908 --> 00:23:46,489 And that's when you can lose your way. 352 00:23:46,589 --> 00:23:48,489 But... 353 00:23:48,589 --> 00:23:52,450 because I've got great mates... 354 00:23:52,550 --> 00:23:56,551 and people who make me strong and remind me that... 355 00:23:58,071 --> 00:24:02,072 well, even when I hit those dark parts of the forest... 356 00:24:02,992 --> 00:24:04,132 ... that... 357 00:24:04,232 --> 00:24:06,332 I've just gotta keep walking. 358 00:24:06,432 --> 00:24:10,433 Just keep walking, and I'll be OK. 359 00:24:11,193 --> 00:24:14,574 I'll be scared. 360 00:24:14,674 --> 00:24:16,374 But I'll be OK. 361 00:24:16,474 --> 00:24:18,134 So... 362 00:24:18,234 --> 00:24:22,235 you have to promise me that you're not gonna worry. 363 00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:26,856 And you're not going to hate Finn. Promise? 364 00:24:26,956 --> 00:24:28,176 - Promise. - Promise? 365 00:24:28,276 --> 00:24:29,376 - Yeah. - Yeah. 366 00:24:29,476 --> 00:24:31,817 It's OK to hate Katie Springer, though, right? 367 00:24:31,917 --> 00:24:34,737 - Yeah. - Definitely. 368 00:24:34,837 --> 00:24:38,838 You're not talking about the woods in Burghley Park, are you? 369 00:24:40,358 --> 00:24:42,099 What? 370 00:24:42,199 --> 00:24:44,199 I go there on my bike all the time. 371 00:24:46,279 --> 00:24:47,860 There's loads of dark pa... 372 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,640 You should cycle somewhere else, genius that you are. 373 00:24:55,241 --> 00:24:56,181 Rae! 374 00:24:56,281 --> 00:24:57,301 Rae. 375 00:24:57,401 --> 00:24:58,741 Look, I just wanted to say, 376 00:24:58,841 --> 00:25:01,302 if Finn doesn't take you to the leavers' ball, 377 00:25:01,402 --> 00:25:05,403 then I'd consider it an honour to step in and take you myself. 378 00:25:06,603 --> 00:25:08,343 The only possible caveat 379 00:25:08,443 --> 00:25:11,184 is that I've made some inroads with Kelly 380 00:25:11,284 --> 00:25:13,464 who does the trolleys in the Safeway's car park. 381 00:25:13,564 --> 00:25:15,584 So if she pages me back... 382 00:25:15,684 --> 00:25:17,865 I'd have to renege on my offer. 383 00:25:17,965 --> 00:25:20,105 I mean, I can't have blurred lines, Rae. 384 00:25:20,205 --> 00:25:21,545 Understood. 385 00:25:21,645 --> 00:25:22,866 Thanks, Danny. 386 00:25:22,966 --> 00:25:24,946 - Chlo... - I told her, Rae. 387 00:25:25,046 --> 00:25:27,586 I warned her. 388 00:25:27,686 --> 00:25:29,947 Shit. Chlo! 389 00:25:30,047 --> 00:25:33,067 Chlo, wait up. Chlo! 390 00:25:33,167 --> 00:25:36,148 - Chloe... - What car is it? 391 00:25:36,248 --> 00:25:38,348 Is it one of these? 392 00:25:38,448 --> 00:25:40,469 Or is it this one? 393 00:25:40,569 --> 00:25:43,929 - It's this one, isn't it? - Chlo... 394 00:25:56,131 --> 00:25:59,272 Chloe! 395 00:25:59,372 --> 00:26:01,752 Chloe, you've just got out of hospital. 396 00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:04,433 What's she doing? 397 00:26:04,533 --> 00:26:05,593 Chloe? 398 00:26:05,693 --> 00:26:07,313 I told you, Katie. 399 00:26:07,413 --> 00:26:09,194 I warned you. 400 00:26:09,294 --> 00:26:10,954 - What are you doing? - I warned you. 401 00:26:11,054 --> 00:26:14,835 You mess with my best mate, this is what happens. 402 00:26:14,935 --> 00:26:18,715 Your shitty little car gets it. 403 00:26:18,815 --> 00:26:22,476 Chloe, that's not my car. 404 00:26:22,576 --> 00:26:24,576 That's my car. 405 00:26:34,138 --> 00:26:37,679 - Oi, Katie. - No, I get it, Rae, OK? 406 00:26:37,779 --> 00:26:39,839 Yeah, I get it, your mate's pissed off. 407 00:26:39,939 --> 00:26:41,279 Can we just drop it, please? 408 00:26:41,379 --> 00:26:43,240 Yeah, OK, yeah, we can. 409 00:26:43,340 --> 00:26:46,040 But this is the last time that we ever speak, 410 00:26:46,140 --> 00:26:47,480 even if I get into uni. 411 00:26:47,580 --> 00:26:49,481 You're gonna to go to Bristol 412 00:26:49,581 --> 00:26:51,761 and you're gonna ignore the only person that you know? 413 00:26:51,861 --> 00:26:54,482 Yeah. Yeah, I am, Katie. 414 00:26:54,582 --> 00:26:57,242 Because there is no way you are anything like a proper mate, 415 00:26:57,342 --> 00:26:59,002 and if your life was so amazing, 416 00:26:59,102 --> 00:27:02,083 then you wouldn't be hanging around in a Lincolnshire cul-de-sac 417 00:27:02,183 --> 00:27:06,184 with the girls from the year below, would you? 418 00:27:11,144 --> 00:27:12,605 Chlo... 419 00:27:12,705 --> 00:27:14,205 OK? 420 00:27:14,305 --> 00:27:18,306 Listen, you do know that you doing that makes me love you even more? 421 00:27:18,626 --> 00:27:22,626 Even more than if you'd have got the right car. 422 00:27:23,267 --> 00:27:27,087 What made you go for the bins? 423 00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:30,408 The only thing I could think of! 424 00:27:30,508 --> 00:27:32,728 Chlo, can you do me a favour? 425 00:27:32,828 --> 00:27:36,729 Will you please try and stop worrying about me? 426 00:27:36,829 --> 00:27:39,049 I know it's hard, because I am literally 427 00:27:39,149 --> 00:27:41,970 the easiest person in the world to worry about, but... 428 00:27:42,070 --> 00:27:43,930 You've gotta try. 429 00:27:44,030 --> 00:27:45,810 Yeah? 430 00:27:45,910 --> 00:27:47,091 Yeah. 431 00:27:47,191 --> 00:27:50,051 Got bin juice on my hand now. 432 00:27:50,151 --> 00:27:51,732 - Whose car is that? - I don't know, 433 00:27:51,832 --> 00:27:53,772 but they're gonna be well pissed. 434 00:27:53,872 --> 00:27:55,872 Come on, hurry up! 435 00:28:03,073 --> 00:28:04,974 A bit racy. 436 00:28:05,074 --> 00:28:06,814 Racy? 437 00:28:06,914 --> 00:28:08,374 Yeah. 438 00:28:08,474 --> 00:28:10,215 Well, racy. 439 00:28:10,315 --> 00:28:12,095 As in... racy. 440 00:28:12,195 --> 00:28:14,896 Oh, OK. Perfect. 441 00:28:14,996 --> 00:28:18,996 That's the look I normally go for. 442 00:28:22,397 --> 00:28:25,257 Oh! 443 00:28:25,357 --> 00:28:28,018 - OK. - Oh, good. 444 00:28:28,118 --> 00:28:32,119 - Here you are, then. - Thanks. 445 00:28:33,159 --> 00:28:36,859 The leavers' ball wasn't exactly top of my to-do list, 446 00:28:36,959 --> 00:28:40,340 especially without Finn... 447 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:41,940 Any good? 448 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:45,901 ... but I had to show Mum I was on the mend. 449 00:28:46,001 --> 00:28:47,581 Bought it when I was 30. 450 00:28:47,681 --> 00:28:50,942 When I was, and don't bite my head off, 451 00:28:51,042 --> 00:28:53,622 I was a couple of sizes bigger. 452 00:28:53,722 --> 00:28:57,723 I never... quite had the confidence to wear it out. 453 00:29:08,165 --> 00:29:10,945 Oh, Rae. 454 00:29:11,045 --> 00:29:13,346 I'll wear it. 455 00:29:13,446 --> 00:29:16,026 On one condition. 456 00:29:16,126 --> 00:29:19,707 You go to Tunisia. 457 00:29:19,807 --> 00:29:21,387 - No. - Mum... 458 00:29:21,487 --> 00:29:24,948 Karim will be missing you like crazy. 459 00:29:25,048 --> 00:29:26,868 You're his life. 460 00:29:26,968 --> 00:29:30,189 I will ring you constantly. 461 00:29:30,289 --> 00:29:33,949 There's this thing called e-mail. Everyone's getting them. 462 00:29:34,049 --> 00:29:36,350 It's not about that. 463 00:29:36,450 --> 00:29:38,430 Mum... 464 00:29:38,530 --> 00:29:40,670 They still look sore. 465 00:29:40,770 --> 00:29:44,391 Yeah. They are. 466 00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:46,832 But they'll heal. 467 00:29:46,932 --> 00:29:49,512 I am learning how to handle things. 468 00:29:49,612 --> 00:29:53,613 But how am I gonna know you're OK? 469 00:29:54,293 --> 00:29:58,294 You don't. 470 00:29:59,854 --> 00:30:03,855 I'd have to hand my notice in at the hospital... 471 00:30:17,977 --> 00:30:19,557 Do you need a little jacket? 472 00:30:19,657 --> 00:30:23,678 - How about a little jacket? - Mum... 473 00:30:23,778 --> 00:30:27,779 I've got a jacket. 474 00:30:41,261 --> 00:30:43,201 You look lovely. 475 00:30:43,301 --> 00:30:46,042 So do you. 476 00:30:46,142 --> 00:30:50,143 You just look a bit more pyjama-y than I expected. 477 00:30:53,023 --> 00:30:55,764 I can't face it, Rae. 478 00:30:55,864 --> 00:30:59,004 What are you on about? 479 00:30:59,104 --> 00:31:01,845 Well... CHLOE SNIFFS 480 00:31:01,945 --> 00:31:03,445 W... 481 00:31:03,545 --> 00:31:05,445 Well, what happens next? 482 00:31:05,545 --> 00:31:07,766 Business college. 483 00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:11,866 I don't know. I don't... 484 00:31:12,987 --> 00:31:16,987 I only got that because my dad plays golf with the guy who runs it. 485 00:31:17,347 --> 00:31:19,648 And if I don't do that, then... 486 00:31:19,748 --> 00:31:23,748 then I don't know what I'm gonna do. 487 00:31:26,469 --> 00:31:29,930 I just know that I won't get to do it with you. 488 00:31:30,030 --> 00:31:34,030 Chlo... 489 00:31:34,750 --> 00:31:38,751 Like... when you told me to stop worrying about you. 490 00:31:40,431 --> 00:31:42,732 Well, I knew then that you were leaving. 491 00:31:42,832 --> 00:31:44,332 Yeah. 492 00:31:44,432 --> 00:31:48,433 Everyone's leaving, aren't they? 493 00:31:50,353 --> 00:31:54,254 The gang'll stay in touch, for a bit, but... 494 00:31:54,354 --> 00:31:58,354 Well... 495 00:32:00,555 --> 00:32:04,556 It's just life, isn't it? 496 00:32:06,076 --> 00:32:09,936 But me and you, right... 497 00:32:10,036 --> 00:32:12,057 ... we are Chloe and Rae. 498 00:32:12,157 --> 00:32:15,818 We're not the gang. 499 00:32:15,918 --> 00:32:18,498 And if I go to Bristol... 500 00:32:18,598 --> 00:32:20,458 ... then you can just come and visit. 501 00:32:20,558 --> 00:32:22,699 Yeah? 502 00:32:22,799 --> 00:32:24,899 Yeah, that'll be good. 503 00:32:24,999 --> 00:32:29,020 It doesn't matter where we are or what we're doing... 504 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:33,261 ... I promise we are always gonna be Chloe and Rae. 505 00:32:33,361 --> 00:32:36,461 Yeah? 506 00:32:36,561 --> 00:32:37,701 Yeah. 507 00:32:37,801 --> 00:32:41,222 - Yeah? - Yeah. 508 00:32:41,322 --> 00:32:43,022 Chloe... 509 00:32:43,122 --> 00:32:44,382 What? 510 00:32:44,482 --> 00:32:48,483 I spent ages on this make-up and you've made me cry! 511 00:32:49,043 --> 00:32:50,864 No, you made me cry! 512 00:32:50,964 --> 00:32:53,224 No, I was fine. It was you. 513 00:32:53,324 --> 00:32:55,144 Are you gonna go get ready, then? 514 00:32:55,244 --> 00:32:56,745 Yeah. 515 00:32:56,845 --> 00:32:59,345 And can I borrow some eyeliner or something? 516 00:32:59,445 --> 00:33:03,446 - Yeah, I'll do your make-up. - Thank you. 517 00:33:04,606 --> 00:33:06,866 Izzy, what's happened to your arm? 518 00:33:06,966 --> 00:33:09,547 Oh, it's better now. I'll take it off in a minute. 519 00:33:09,647 --> 00:33:11,827 It clashes with my dress. 520 00:33:11,927 --> 00:33:16,108 Here he is. 521 00:33:16,208 --> 00:33:19,269 My date. 522 00:33:19,369 --> 00:33:21,989 - You all look gorgeous. - Hello! 523 00:33:22,089 --> 00:33:23,869 Mwah! 524 00:33:23,969 --> 00:33:26,550 Look at him. He's total lush. 525 00:33:26,650 --> 00:33:28,550 Hurry up, knobhead. 526 00:33:28,650 --> 00:33:30,791 Right, let's do this. 527 00:33:30,891 --> 00:33:32,391 Er, wait. 528 00:33:32,491 --> 00:33:35,431 Er, I know things have been a bit tricky lately, 529 00:33:35,531 --> 00:33:38,992 um... but he wanted me to ask, so... 530 00:33:39,092 --> 00:33:42,633 Uh, if Finn and you may be able to be mates in the future... 531 00:33:42,733 --> 00:33:44,873 Archie, can we not do this now, please? 532 00:33:44,973 --> 00:33:47,313 To be honest, Raemundo, he kind of needs to know now. 533 00:33:47,413 --> 00:33:50,654 Cab's cost him a right fortune. 534 00:33:53,494 --> 00:33:57,395 MUSIC: Careless Whisper by Wham! 535 00:33:57,495 --> 00:34:01,816 _ 536 00:34:03,696 --> 00:34:06,477 Finn Nelson... late, not invited, 537 00:34:06,577 --> 00:34:10,117 taking his life in his own hands just by being here 538 00:34:10,217 --> 00:34:12,318 and looking beyond sexy in a tuxedo, 539 00:34:12,418 --> 00:34:16,418 which, Dear Diary, is not the point. 540 00:34:20,259 --> 00:34:22,640 - Izzy! - Sorry. 541 00:34:22,740 --> 00:34:26,740 Archie! 542 00:34:28,101 --> 00:34:30,101 Well, this was awkward. 543 00:34:30,461 --> 00:34:33,902 MUSIC: Never Ever by All Saints 544 00:34:35,902 --> 00:34:39,903 - Rae, I, um... I... I kissed Katie... - Finn... It's fine. 545 00:34:40,343 --> 00:34:42,683 No, it's not. 546 00:34:42,783 --> 00:34:46,364 I hurt you, and... 547 00:34:46,464 --> 00:34:49,844 ... I'm sorry. 548 00:34:49,944 --> 00:34:52,125 You spend all this time saying how... 549 00:34:52,225 --> 00:34:56,225 how you're not good enough for me, but I'm not good enough for you. 550 00:34:57,946 --> 00:35:01,086 I'm no better than any of the other 19-year-old knobheads out there. 551 00:35:01,186 --> 00:35:03,967 Are you criticising my taste in men now, or what? 552 00:35:04,067 --> 00:35:06,947 I'm serious, Rae. 553 00:35:08,067 --> 00:35:09,968 I let you down. 554 00:35:10,068 --> 00:35:13,688 Listen... 555 00:35:13,788 --> 00:35:17,789 ... I shouldn't have made out that you were Mr Perfect. 556 00:35:19,549 --> 00:35:22,310 It wasn't fair. 557 00:35:23,030 --> 00:35:25,891 But me and you... 558 00:35:25,991 --> 00:35:29,991 ... we're going to be all right. 559 00:35:30,631 --> 00:35:34,652 And you know why, don't you? 560 00:35:34,752 --> 00:35:37,453 Cos me and you, we... 561 00:35:37,553 --> 00:35:41,553 ... we don't always have to be an "us". 562 00:35:41,993 --> 00:35:45,134 And just because we're not together now, Finn Nelson... 563 00:35:45,234 --> 00:35:48,295 doesn't mean that we'll never be. 564 00:35:48,395 --> 00:35:49,575 OK? 565 00:35:49,675 --> 00:35:53,415 Yeah. 566 00:35:53,515 --> 00:35:57,296 If it all goes tits-up in Bristol... 567 00:35:57,396 --> 00:36:01,097 ... you know where to find me, don't you? 568 00:36:01,197 --> 00:36:03,057 Finn, if... 569 00:36:03,157 --> 00:36:05,858 if it goes tits-up in Bristol... 570 00:36:05,958 --> 00:36:08,738 ... then... 571 00:36:08,838 --> 00:36:12,839 ... well, I'm just going to have to figure it out on my own. 572 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,581 Can I have... one last kiss? 573 00:36:23,681 --> 00:36:27,681 Just to say goodbye. 574 00:36:28,561 --> 00:36:31,342 No. 575 00:36:31,442 --> 00:36:35,443 A kiss would be a backward step, wouldn't it? 576 00:36:38,123 --> 00:36:41,264 Shall we have a drink? 577 00:36:41,364 --> 00:36:43,344 Come on, it's meant to be a party. 578 00:36:43,444 --> 00:36:45,064 - Cheers. - M'dear. 579 00:36:45,164 --> 00:36:49,165 - M'dear! - M'dear. 580 00:36:49,645 --> 00:36:53,646 MUSIC: No Matter What by Boyzone 581 00:36:55,606 --> 00:36:58,507 I wasn't going to melt into his arms. 582 00:36:58,607 --> 00:37:02,607 But I did want to be with him in that moment. 583 00:37:03,248 --> 00:37:07,248 Even if Boyzone were playing. 584 00:37:16,610 --> 00:37:20,611 I've got something to show you. 585 00:37:25,131 --> 00:37:26,632 What?! 586 00:37:26,732 --> 00:37:30,072 Oh, Izzy! 587 00:37:30,172 --> 00:37:32,953 - Look what Izzy's got. - It matches Chop's. 588 00:37:33,053 --> 00:37:34,793 No! Are you joking me? 589 00:37:34,893 --> 00:37:37,994 - Izzy! - Do you love it? 590 00:37:38,094 --> 00:37:39,674 - Will you get one? - No! 591 00:37:39,774 --> 00:37:42,674 We should all get the same one. 592 00:37:42,774 --> 00:37:45,615 Stan Ford forever! 593 00:38:16,980 --> 00:38:18,841 Here we go. 594 00:38:18,941 --> 00:38:21,881 16 electric whiskies. 595 00:38:21,981 --> 00:38:25,062 - Who's playing here tonight, then, Danny? - Go on, Uncle Archie, mate! 596 00:38:28,542 --> 00:38:32,543 I'd like to dedicate this song to my best mates. 597 00:38:34,423 --> 00:38:36,424 Whoever they go on to be. 598 00:38:42,825 --> 00:38:44,365 * Happiness * 599 00:38:44,465 --> 00:38:45,925 * More or less * 600 00:38:46,025 --> 00:38:49,526 * It's just a change in me * * Something in my liberty * 601 00:38:49,626 --> 00:38:53,627 * Oh, my, my * 602 00:38:56,227 --> 00:38:59,288 * Happiness * * Coming and going * 603 00:38:59,388 --> 00:39:03,088 * I watch you look at me * * Watch my fever growing, I know * 604 00:39:03,188 --> 00:39:07,189 * Just where I am * 605 00:39:08,669 --> 00:39:12,010 * How many corners do I have to turn? * 606 00:39:12,110 --> 00:39:15,371 * How many times do I have to learn * 607 00:39:15,471 --> 00:39:19,471 * All the love I have is in my mind? * 608 00:39:20,551 --> 00:39:24,552 * But I'm a lucky man * 609 00:39:28,033 --> 00:39:32,033 * With fire in my hands * 610 00:39:34,954 --> 00:39:38,955 * But I'm a lucky man * 611 00:39:41,275 --> 00:39:45,276 * Fire in my hands * 612 00:39:47,956 --> 00:39:50,977 * I'm a lucky man... * 613 00:39:51,077 --> 00:39:52,857 None of us knew what was coming next, 614 00:39:52,957 --> 00:39:55,258 or who we would become. 615 00:39:55,358 --> 00:39:58,138 * Fire in my hands... * 616 00:39:58,238 --> 00:40:01,579 We just knew that being together was the best way of saying goodbye. 617 00:40:01,679 --> 00:40:03,139 _ 618 00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,579 * Happiness * * Something in my own place * 619 00:40:05,679 --> 00:40:09,180 * I'm stood here naked * * Smiling, I feel no disgrace * 620 00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:13,281 * With who I am... * 621 00:40:15,001 --> 00:40:17,781 Izzy got three Cs. More than enough to go and do 622 00:40:17,881 --> 00:40:20,662 textiles at Peterborough College of Design. 623 00:40:20,762 --> 00:40:24,863 Rachel Earl. 624 00:40:24,963 --> 00:40:28,963 And Chloe did way better than anyone expected. 625 00:40:29,603 --> 00:40:33,424 In her retakes, that is. 626 00:40:33,524 --> 00:40:35,465 I didn't open mine straightaway. 627 00:40:35,565 --> 00:40:39,005 I had more important things to do. 628 00:40:50,487 --> 00:40:54,488 We've still got one session left. 629 00:40:56,928 --> 00:41:00,909 As I was walking over here, a bird took a dump and just missed me. 630 00:41:01,009 --> 00:41:04,029 Just missed my head. 631 00:41:04,129 --> 00:41:07,350 So I like to think that, given what happened the very first time we met, 632 00:41:07,450 --> 00:41:09,590 that I've made some progress. 633 00:41:09,690 --> 00:41:13,691 Well, maybe it's the pigeon that's changed. 634 00:41:24,413 --> 00:41:26,033 So what did you need? 635 00:41:26,133 --> 00:41:28,954 To get into Bristol? 636 00:41:29,054 --> 00:41:33,055 Two As and a B. 637 00:41:36,535 --> 00:41:40,536 Congratulations. 638 00:41:53,138 --> 00:41:57,139 There you go. 639 00:41:59,459 --> 00:42:02,860 - See ya. - No, not if I see you first. 640 00:42:35,825 --> 00:42:39,826 Karim asked me to make sure you didn't forget your chain. 641 00:43:06,431 --> 00:43:09,031 Dear Diary... That's the secret, I reckon. 642 00:43:11,752 --> 00:43:15,752 You don't need fixed ideas about who you are or where you're headed. 643 00:43:23,394 --> 00:43:27,394 You don't need offers or grades or stamps of approval. 644 00:43:48,238 --> 00:43:52,079 You just need to be ready to cope with whatever crap comes your way. 645 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,361 And as for all the crazy shit... 646 00:44:04,481 --> 00:44:07,121 ... the mental screw-ups and the madness... 647 00:44:10,922 --> 00:44:13,642 ... well, that's mine, Dear Diary. 648 00:44:16,123 --> 00:44:18,523 I get to keep that. 649 00:44:28,405 --> 00:44:30,405 That travels with me.