1 00:00:01,010 --> 00:00:01,910 [chimes twinkling melodically] 2 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,210 -Fa! Fa! Fa! -Hmm, yeah, 3 00:00:03,343 --> 00:00:04,043 how much did that cost? 4 00:00:04,176 --> 00:00:04,910 -300. -Nice! 5 00:00:05,043 --> 00:00:06,076 Is that yours? 6 00:00:06,210 --> 00:00:07,243 -Yeah. -[blade scraping] 7 00:00:07,376 --> 00:00:08,043 -Got it on eBay. 75. -Gigantic. 8 00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:09,076 Looking at your knives? 9 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,343 -Hey, Colin. -Hi, Colin. 10 00:00:10,476 --> 00:00:11,610 -[blade scraping] -I've got a nice one. 11 00:00:11,743 --> 00:00:12,910 -Wow, it's a Ghurkha. -Ooh. [chuckling] 12 00:00:13,043 --> 00:00:14,010 It's a vintage, look at the notches on that. 13 00:00:14,143 --> 00:00:15,310 Seen some action, this one has. 14 00:00:15,443 --> 00:00:16,310 [they laugh] 15 00:00:16,443 --> 00:00:17,943 Right, are we ready to go? 16 00:00:18,076 --> 00:00:19,110 Oh, he's not here yet, is he? 17 00:00:19,243 --> 00:00:20,143 Er, who do you mean? 18 00:00:20,276 --> 00:00:21,510 [chuckling] Yeah, yeah. 19 00:00:21,643 --> 00:00:22,510 Yeah, I told that prick to make sure 20 00:00:22,643 --> 00:00:23,810 he was here at eight sharp. 21 00:00:23,943 --> 00:00:24,810 Should I give Ray Purchase a call? 22 00:00:24,943 --> 00:00:25,743 Good idea. 23 00:00:27,076 --> 00:00:27,910 Bingo! 24 00:00:29,543 --> 00:00:31,076 Been trying to pick this pencil up in my mouth 25 00:00:31,210 --> 00:00:32,610 for the last 15 minutes. 26 00:00:32,743 --> 00:00:34,176 Are we good to go? 27 00:00:34,310 --> 00:00:35,410 -[talkback button clicks] -Hi, Steven. 28 00:00:35,543 --> 00:00:36,543 This is Clem H Fandango. 29 00:00:36,676 --> 00:00:37,410 Can you hear me? 30 00:00:37,543 --> 00:00:38,710 Yeah, I can... 31 00:00:38,843 --> 00:00:41,376 Whoa, did you just say "Clem H Fandango"? 32 00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,543 So you've added an H to your name? 33 00:00:44,676 --> 00:00:46,343 You don't think you were enough of a prat already? 34 00:00:46,476 --> 00:00:47,743 It was Equity's idea, actually. 35 00:00:47,876 --> 00:00:48,910 They told me to change my name 36 00:00:49,043 --> 00:00:50,310 as there's another actor 37 00:00:50,443 --> 00:00:53,743 already apparently called Clem Fandango. 38 00:00:53,876 --> 00:00:55,510 Yeah, but you're not an actor. 39 00:00:55,643 --> 00:00:57,043 Sorry, Steven, we're gonna have to get this done quickly. 40 00:00:57,176 --> 00:00:59,210 Colin needs to edit everything by midday. 41 00:00:59,343 --> 00:01:00,610 You all right, buddy? 42 00:01:00,743 --> 00:01:03,476 I'm Colin Skittles from Swing Out Spritzer. 43 00:01:03,610 --> 00:01:06,310 Now there's a certain way we'd like you to perform the VO. 44 00:01:09,876 --> 00:01:11,443 If you like, buddy, 45 00:01:11,576 --> 00:01:13,910 I can run through it first as a guide. 46 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,143 Well, go on, then. 47 00:01:18,276 --> 00:01:19,110 Brill. 48 00:01:20,443 --> 00:01:21,710 Hey, guys! 49 00:01:21,843 --> 00:01:23,576 Don't lose your cool this summer. 50 00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:25,443 Be as cool as ice, 51 00:01:25,576 --> 00:01:28,710 and enjoy a tall glass of Tawny Owl Ice Tea. 52 00:01:28,843 --> 00:01:30,010 Ter-wit, ter-woo! 53 00:01:30,143 --> 00:01:31,810 Ter-wit, ter-woo! 54 00:01:40,576 --> 00:01:42,110 Hey, guys! 55 00:01:42,210 --> 00:01:44,410 Don't lose your cool this summer. 56 00:01:44,543 --> 00:01:46,310 Be as cool as ice 57 00:01:46,443 --> 00:01:50,943 and enjoy a tall glass of Tawny Owl Ice Tea. 58 00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:52,576 Ter-wit, ter-woo! 59 00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:54,110 Ter-wit, ter-woo! 60 00:01:55,176 --> 00:01:56,510 All right, buddy? 61 00:01:57,710 --> 00:02:01,576 ["Take My Hand" by Matt Berry] 62 00:02:11,810 --> 00:02:15,576 [melancholic music continues] 63 00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:25,110 Brigadoon. 64 00:02:25,210 --> 00:02:26,476 Really? 65 00:02:26,610 --> 00:02:28,310 I can't remember the last musical I saw. 66 00:02:28,443 --> 00:02:29,143 Cats? 67 00:02:29,276 --> 00:02:30,010 Cats! 68 00:02:30,143 --> 00:02:31,343 Yes, on Drury Lane. 69 00:02:31,476 --> 00:02:34,343 And if I recall, I was so drunk 70 00:02:34,476 --> 00:02:37,576 I collapsed in my seat whilst sitting down. 71 00:02:37,710 --> 00:02:39,776 Well, at least you didn't get up and join in 72 00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,643 like Michael Barrymore used to! 73 00:02:41,776 --> 00:02:44,410 He did, didn't he? [laughs dramatically] 74 00:02:44,543 --> 00:02:46,310 Talking of theatres, if I were you, Toast, 75 00:02:46,443 --> 00:02:48,610 I'd avoid going past the Garrick for a week or two. 76 00:02:48,743 --> 00:02:51,310 Is Ray Purchase dropping his slacks again? 77 00:02:51,443 --> 00:02:53,243 No, they're putting on a production of The Graduate. 78 00:02:53,376 --> 00:02:55,943 That, erm, ex of yours is playing the lead. 79 00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:57,710 Who? Maggie Philbin? 80 00:02:57,843 --> 00:02:59,310 Lorna Wynde. 81 00:02:59,443 --> 00:03:00,776 [wistful music] 82 00:03:00,910 --> 00:03:02,643 Lorna Wynde? 83 00:03:02,776 --> 00:03:03,910 Lorna Wynde. 84 00:03:05,276 --> 00:03:06,376 I always thought she was quite pretty 85 00:03:06,510 --> 00:03:09,376 in that over-the-top American way. 86 00:03:09,510 --> 00:03:13,010 You did that awful daytime soap together in LA. 87 00:03:13,143 --> 00:03:13,976 She had that thing, 88 00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,376 do you remember, on close-ups? 89 00:03:15,510 --> 00:03:17,810 She went all cross-eyed whenever her face 90 00:03:17,943 --> 00:03:19,876 came within three feet of a camera. 91 00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:22,110 Really affected her career in television. 92 00:03:22,176 --> 00:03:24,276 That's why she's doing theatre these days. 93 00:03:24,410 --> 00:03:25,376 Lorna Wynde. 94 00:03:25,510 --> 00:03:26,176 Please, Jane. 95 00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:27,843 Lorna Wynde! 96 00:03:27,976 --> 00:03:29,676 She promised to move back to London with you, 97 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,510 but she didn't show up at the airport. 98 00:03:31,643 --> 00:03:32,810 You were so heartbroken 99 00:03:32,943 --> 00:03:34,710 you couldn't speak for three weeks. 100 00:03:34,843 --> 00:03:36,810 You were in a terrible state. 101 00:03:36,943 --> 00:03:38,176 You cried so hard 102 00:03:38,310 --> 00:03:39,776 you followed through in Oddbins. 103 00:03:39,910 --> 00:03:41,143 All right, Jane! 104 00:03:42,176 --> 00:03:43,476 Please! 105 00:03:43,610 --> 00:03:44,476 Please stop saying... 106 00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:45,343 Lorna Wynde. 107 00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:46,810 Stop saying Lorna Wynde. 108 00:03:46,943 --> 00:03:48,210 -Lorna Wynde. -Yes! 109 00:03:48,343 --> 00:03:50,376 More importantly, where are we going for lunch? 110 00:03:50,510 --> 00:03:51,676 We'll have to get a wriggle on. 111 00:03:51,810 --> 00:03:53,676 I'm off to Scotland to visit Tilda Swinton. 112 00:03:53,810 --> 00:03:55,110 Ha! Tilda. 113 00:03:55,243 --> 00:03:56,510 Mad as a bag of monkeys, 114 00:03:56,643 --> 00:03:58,210 but tremendous fun. 115 00:03:58,343 --> 00:03:59,276 I'm sorry, Jane, 116 00:03:59,410 --> 00:04:01,976 I've suddenly lost my appetite. 117 00:04:02,110 --> 00:04:03,776 I'd rather go home, if it's all the same with you. 118 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,110 [blade clanks] 119 00:04:06,176 --> 00:04:07,610 Careful, Toast. 120 00:04:07,743 --> 00:04:11,010 [sombre rock music] 121 00:04:11,143 --> 00:04:13,010 The second Jane said she was back in town, 122 00:04:13,143 --> 00:04:14,976 -I felt physically sick. -[blade sharpener scraping] 123 00:04:15,110 --> 00:04:16,910 Like I was right there, back at the airport. 124 00:04:17,110 --> 00:04:18,276 Right. 125 00:04:18,410 --> 00:04:20,410 The anguish pulls hard on one, Ed. 126 00:04:20,543 --> 00:04:22,443 Like an anchor made of white gold. 127 00:04:22,576 --> 00:04:25,210 -Mm. -My stomach feels like lead. 128 00:04:25,343 --> 00:04:26,643 -I've not eaten all day. -[blade sharpener scraping] 129 00:04:26,776 --> 00:04:28,243 Not even been able to go to the toilet, 130 00:04:28,376 --> 00:04:30,310 which as you know, is very unlike me. 131 00:04:30,443 --> 00:04:32,910 -[blade sharpener scraping] -[Ed clears throat aloofly] 132 00:04:33,110 --> 00:04:34,943 Thanks for the sympathetic ear. 133 00:04:35,110 --> 00:04:37,476 Does a chap good to unload, 134 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:38,376 as it were. 135 00:04:40,110 --> 00:04:41,676 Sorry, I wasn't listening. 136 00:04:41,810 --> 00:04:43,376 What the hell's with the knives? 137 00:04:43,510 --> 00:04:45,576 Jane was waving one of those around earlier, 138 00:04:45,710 --> 00:04:47,410 and those clowns in the studio. 139 00:04:47,543 --> 00:04:49,876 Oh, everyone has knives these days. 140 00:04:50,010 --> 00:04:52,176 Ever since those Tottenham riots. 141 00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:54,376 People need to protect themselves and their property. 142 00:04:54,510 --> 00:04:55,343 Well, I haven't got one. 143 00:04:55,476 --> 00:04:56,276 Well, maybe you should get one. 144 00:04:56,410 --> 00:04:57,643 Oh, by the way, Toast, 145 00:04:57,776 --> 00:04:59,410 I need to talk to you about something. 146 00:04:59,543 --> 00:05:01,276 We're going to have a guest staying here. 147 00:05:01,410 --> 00:05:02,776 Who? Peter Powell? 148 00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:05,143 -No, my niece, Honeysuckle. -Ugh. 149 00:05:05,276 --> 00:05:07,110 She hasn't been feeling herself lately, poor thing. 150 00:05:07,210 --> 00:05:09,276 Her mum reckons she's got a gluten allergy. 151 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,510 Anyway, she's come down to London 152 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,143 -to visit a homoeopath. -[Toast scoffs] 153 00:05:12,276 --> 00:05:13,410 She's going to need somewhere to stay. 154 00:05:13,543 --> 00:05:15,443 What the hell is a homoeopath? 155 00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:17,676 Someone who specialises in alternative medicine. 156 00:05:17,810 --> 00:05:19,276 Ooh, what, like, a witch doctor? 157 00:05:19,410 --> 00:05:20,743 Yeah, I'm pretty sceptical myself 158 00:05:20,876 --> 00:05:22,610 about this whole homoeopathy lark. 159 00:05:22,743 --> 00:05:23,876 Anyway, she's tried everything else, poor dear, 160 00:05:24,010 --> 00:05:25,576 and it hasn't worked. 161 00:05:25,710 --> 00:05:28,243 Anyway, she's going to need to sleep in your bedroom. 162 00:05:28,376 --> 00:05:30,210 Well, where the hell am I gonna go? 163 00:05:30,343 --> 00:05:31,843 Well, presumably on the sofa here. 164 00:05:31,976 --> 00:05:33,843 Is there a sofa here? 165 00:05:33,976 --> 00:05:35,410 -Yeah. -[Toast scoffs] 166 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,776 [bright music] 167 00:05:37,910 --> 00:05:39,110 [belt creaking] 168 00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:40,343 -There she is. -[knocking on door] 169 00:05:40,476 --> 00:05:42,576 -Sorry, Toast. -[Toast exclaims] 170 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:45,110 Just showing Honeysuckle her room. 171 00:05:45,243 --> 00:05:47,743 Steven Toast, my niece Honeysuckle. 172 00:05:47,876 --> 00:05:49,576 -Hello. -Fuck off and die! 173 00:05:49,710 --> 00:05:51,243 [sinister music] 174 00:05:51,376 --> 00:05:52,976 I beg your pardon? 175 00:05:53,110 --> 00:05:54,910 [chuckling] Apologies, Toast. 176 00:05:55,110 --> 00:05:56,510 It's the allergy. 177 00:05:56,643 --> 00:05:58,976 Honeysuckle suffered a very negative reaction to something. 178 00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:00,543 I'm so sorry, Mr Toast. 179 00:06:00,676 --> 00:06:01,743 Like my uncle said, 180 00:06:01,876 --> 00:06:03,376 I haven't been feeling myself lately. 181 00:06:03,510 --> 00:06:06,310 [eerie music] 182 00:06:06,443 --> 00:06:10,976 -[Toast grunts] -[sofa squeaks] 183 00:06:11,110 --> 00:06:14,110 [sofa springs creak] 184 00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:15,343 [chilling music] 185 00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:16,976 -Oi! -Ah! 186 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,976 There's no fucking toilet paper in the bathroom! 187 00:06:20,110 --> 00:06:23,210 There's, there's some kitchen roll under the sink! 188 00:06:23,343 --> 00:06:24,743 [Honeysuckle growls] 189 00:06:24,876 --> 00:06:29,510 -[chilling music continues] -[Toast whimpering] 190 00:06:30,443 --> 00:06:31,276 Ah, going somewhere, Toast? 191 00:06:31,410 --> 00:06:32,643 Y-Yeah, I... 192 00:06:32,776 --> 00:06:34,176 I'm gonna move out for a few days, Ed. 193 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,010 Yes, maybe best. 194 00:06:36,143 --> 00:06:37,110 Honeysuckle's a bit of a handful. 195 00:06:37,243 --> 00:06:38,276 The sooner we get her sorted out 196 00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:39,543 with this homoeopathy the better. 197 00:06:39,676 --> 00:06:40,843 -Yes. -[suitcase rattling] 198 00:06:40,976 --> 00:06:42,010 -Where are you going? -[clasps clicking] 199 00:06:42,143 --> 00:06:43,943 Francis Bacon has a spare room. 200 00:06:44,110 --> 00:06:45,110 He owes me a few favours. 201 00:06:45,243 --> 00:06:45,943 Francis Bacon? 202 00:06:46,110 --> 00:06:46,943 I thought he was dead. 203 00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:48,710 Why does everyone say that? 204 00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:51,776 [melancholic music] 205 00:06:56,876 --> 00:06:58,976 [suitcase thuds] 206 00:06:59,110 --> 00:06:59,943 Oh, God! 207 00:07:01,010 --> 00:07:03,643 [Toast sobbing] 208 00:07:08,676 --> 00:07:09,610 Toast? 209 00:07:09,743 --> 00:07:11,310 Is that you? 210 00:07:11,443 --> 00:07:13,310 -Lorna. -Oh, Toast. 211 00:07:13,443 --> 00:07:14,710 I recognised the streak in your hair 212 00:07:14,843 --> 00:07:17,176 from across the way. [chuckles] 213 00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:18,810 That streak. 214 00:07:18,943 --> 00:07:21,176 -Didn't you fall out of a tree? -Yeah, I fell out of a tree. 215 00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:22,743 I knew I'd see you again. 216 00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:25,343 Wait, are you crying? 217 00:07:25,476 --> 00:07:26,143 Crying? Me? 218 00:07:26,276 --> 00:07:27,176 Nah. 219 00:07:27,310 --> 00:07:29,943 Toast, I owe you an explanation. 220 00:07:30,110 --> 00:07:30,910 No, you don't. 221 00:07:32,110 --> 00:07:33,576 I can't even remember what happened. 222 00:07:33,710 --> 00:07:36,176 We both know that's not true, Steven. 223 00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:38,876 I bounced back and was fine within a couple of hours. 224 00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:40,476 And if you don't mind, 225 00:07:40,610 --> 00:07:42,610 I'm late for a luncheon. 226 00:07:42,743 --> 00:07:43,943 Oh, Toast, 227 00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:45,876 you always were a lousy poker player. 228 00:07:46,010 --> 00:07:46,743 Coffee? 229 00:07:46,876 --> 00:07:48,343 My treat? 230 00:07:48,476 --> 00:07:50,543 [Toast huffs] 231 00:07:50,676 --> 00:07:52,543 Well, it is a nice day. 232 00:07:52,676 --> 00:07:54,010 We could get some ice cream. 233 00:07:55,176 --> 00:07:55,876 Yes! 234 00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:58,943 [gentle music] 235 00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:00,876 Do you have any cigarettes? 236 00:08:01,010 --> 00:08:03,710 You always did like a cigarette after ice cream. 237 00:08:03,843 --> 00:08:05,376 I don't have any, 238 00:08:05,510 --> 00:08:08,710 but somebody left a pipe in the drawer, next to the Bible. 239 00:08:08,843 --> 00:08:10,676 -[drawer scrapes] -Is that your knife? 240 00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:12,310 Yeah. 241 00:08:12,443 --> 00:08:13,876 Everybody told me to bring one if I was coming to London 242 00:08:14,010 --> 00:08:15,510 because of the Tottenham siege? 243 00:08:15,643 --> 00:08:16,943 Tottenham riots. 244 00:08:18,476 --> 00:08:20,876 You know, I never thought I'd see you again. 245 00:08:21,010 --> 00:08:23,543 -[reflective music] -I was in a real bad place. 246 00:08:23,676 --> 00:08:24,943 You ripped me in half, woman. 247 00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:27,776 In bloody half! [chews pipe] 248 00:08:27,910 --> 00:08:29,176 I was in a dreadful state. 249 00:08:29,310 --> 00:08:31,643 I know, I heard. 250 00:08:31,776 --> 00:08:33,110 Apparently, you cried so hard 251 00:08:33,176 --> 00:08:34,710 you followed through in Oddbins. 252 00:08:34,843 --> 00:08:35,676 Yes, I did. 253 00:08:36,643 --> 00:08:38,943 [reflective music continues] 254 00:08:39,110 --> 00:08:40,143 Shall we? 255 00:08:40,276 --> 00:08:41,210 For old times' sake? 256 00:08:41,343 --> 00:08:42,743 What? 257 00:08:42,876 --> 00:08:44,110 You know. 258 00:08:44,243 --> 00:08:46,176 [both giggle] 259 00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:48,443 [chuckles] Abraham Lincoln. 260 00:08:48,576 --> 00:08:49,443 Forgotten you'd mastered him. 261 00:08:49,576 --> 00:08:50,543 You do him so well. 262 00:08:50,676 --> 00:08:52,110 Do Bruce Forsyth. 263 00:08:52,210 --> 00:08:53,443 Bruce is easy. 264 00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:54,910 You've just gotta get the chin right. 265 00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:56,943 [bright playful music] 266 00:08:57,110 --> 00:08:58,776 [Toast chuckling] 267 00:08:58,910 --> 00:09:02,910 [bright playful music continues] 268 00:09:05,510 --> 00:09:06,243 Oh, this is so much fun! 269 00:09:06,376 --> 00:09:07,676 Let me take a selfie. 270 00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:09,543 -A what? -A picture, 271 00:09:09,676 --> 00:09:11,476 of us back together. 272 00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:13,110 [camera clicks] 273 00:09:13,243 --> 00:09:14,643 I'm really sorry I ran out on you, Steven Toast. 274 00:09:14,776 --> 00:09:15,510 I wanna make it up. 275 00:09:15,643 --> 00:09:17,210 Leave it, Lorna. 276 00:09:17,343 --> 00:09:19,510 Your backside's writing checks your mouth just cannot cash. 277 00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:20,810 You must have been real upset 278 00:09:20,943 --> 00:09:22,710 to have followed through in Oddbins. 279 00:09:22,843 --> 00:09:24,676 Didn't I just read they were facing liquidation? 280 00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:26,910 [scoffs] They weren't the only ones! 281 00:09:27,110 --> 00:09:28,576 [Toast chuckles dryly] 282 00:09:28,710 --> 00:09:31,143 Well, at least you haven't lost your sense of humour. 283 00:09:31,276 --> 00:09:32,543 Lorna, 284 00:09:32,676 --> 00:09:35,510 you're once, twice, 285 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:36,876 three times a lady. 286 00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:41,343 And I've only ever said that to six other people before. 287 00:09:41,476 --> 00:09:43,610 You sound like your character from our show. 288 00:09:43,743 --> 00:09:45,276 I watched an episode of that the other day. 289 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:46,243 [Lorna] Really? 290 00:09:47,510 --> 00:09:49,243 -How did it look? -Damn good. 291 00:09:49,376 --> 00:09:50,810 -[cheesy dramatic music] -Look, Principal, 292 00:09:50,943 --> 00:09:53,010 I don't think I can goddamn do this any more. 293 00:09:53,143 --> 00:09:54,110 There's only so many times 294 00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:55,810 I can watch you throw a flush, 295 00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,743 while I end up with a deuce. 296 00:09:57,876 --> 00:09:59,810 I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Professor. 297 00:09:59,943 --> 00:10:00,876 Christ to hell. 298 00:10:01,010 --> 00:10:02,143 I mean, I'm sick of being 299 00:10:02,276 --> 00:10:03,776 just another British stud you figure 300 00:10:03,910 --> 00:10:05,243 you can take off the shelf 301 00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:07,243 whenever there's an itch that needs a-scratchin'. 302 00:10:07,376 --> 00:10:08,310 I'm sorry? 303 00:10:08,443 --> 00:10:10,810 Spare me the Girl Guide routine. 304 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:13,076 You're just using me to make your husband jealous. 305 00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:14,176 Keep going, Professor. 306 00:10:14,310 --> 00:10:15,643 I love it when you're angry. 307 00:10:18,476 --> 00:10:20,376 -[glass smashes] -[dramatic music beat] 308 00:10:20,510 --> 00:10:21,943 I'm goddamn serious. 309 00:10:22,076 --> 00:10:24,076 Don't treat me like a major league son of a bitch! 310 00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:26,243 Go ahead, do it. 311 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,810 Would it make you feel more like a man? 312 00:10:27,943 --> 00:10:28,676 Yes! 313 00:10:28,810 --> 00:10:29,543 Get out. 314 00:10:29,676 --> 00:10:31,010 Oh, I'm leaving. 315 00:10:31,143 --> 00:10:32,043 But I'll be back in the morning 316 00:10:32,176 --> 00:10:34,476 for my share of the business, 317 00:10:34,610 --> 00:10:35,910 and the baby. 318 00:10:36,043 --> 00:10:37,143 [tense soul music] 319 00:10:37,276 --> 00:10:39,110 [Principal breathing heavily] 320 00:10:39,243 --> 00:10:40,476 [door sound effect clicks] 321 00:10:40,610 --> 00:10:41,843 [door sound effect thuds] 322 00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:43,843 Sometimes it's hard to let go of the past. 323 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,843 I'm off to see Francis Bacon. 324 00:10:45,976 --> 00:10:46,943 Isn't he dead? 325 00:10:47,076 --> 00:10:48,610 Why does everyone say that? 326 00:10:49,843 --> 00:10:52,010 Honey, you could always stay here with me. 327 00:10:52,143 --> 00:10:53,610 [scoffs] My God, 328 00:10:53,743 --> 00:10:55,343 -she is fucking beautiful, -[reflective music] 329 00:10:55,476 --> 00:10:57,710 but I know we can never get back together. 330 00:10:57,843 --> 00:11:00,310 If I don't leave now, I'll never leave. 331 00:11:00,443 --> 00:11:01,876 I'd better say that out loud. 332 00:11:02,010 --> 00:11:03,643 If I don't leave now, I'll never leave. 333 00:11:03,776 --> 00:11:04,876 Bye! 334 00:11:05,010 --> 00:11:08,676 [reflective music continues] 335 00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:12,576 [door thuds shut] 336 00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:17,576 -[mysterious music] -[phone bleeping] 337 00:11:20,243 --> 00:11:21,810 And you'll need a decent suit, Anton. 338 00:11:21,943 --> 00:11:23,176 I'm not turning up to my opening 339 00:11:23,310 --> 00:11:25,810 with George from Asda on my arm. [chuckles] 340 00:11:25,943 --> 00:11:29,143 We'll go to Turnball's off St James's, my treat. 341 00:11:29,276 --> 00:11:32,110 Ah, and I've ordered us a nice bottle of bubbly. 342 00:11:32,210 --> 00:11:33,743 -[bottle clanks] -Yes. 343 00:11:33,876 --> 00:11:35,876 Yes, I'm raising a glass now. 344 00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:38,176 To us! [chuckling] 345 00:11:38,310 --> 00:11:40,110 -[doorbell buzzes] -Mm! 346 00:11:40,243 --> 00:11:42,110 Come up, dear, it's open! 347 00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,343 Now there's somebody at the door. 348 00:11:43,476 --> 00:11:44,343 [door latch clicks open] 349 00:11:44,476 --> 00:11:45,643 We're no longer alone, Anton. 350 00:11:45,776 --> 00:11:48,110 [door creaks shut] 351 00:11:48,210 --> 00:11:49,276 Toast! 352 00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:50,710 How are you? 353 00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:52,776 I was just ordering some printer ink cartridges. 354 00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:54,310 I'll call you back. 355 00:11:54,443 --> 00:11:55,310 [receiver clunks] 356 00:11:55,443 --> 00:11:57,476 You look very depressed, Toast. 357 00:11:57,610 --> 00:11:59,943 Where have you been, the Old Kent Road? 358 00:12:00,143 --> 00:12:01,376 I'm sorry, Bacon, 359 00:12:01,510 --> 00:12:03,176 I need somewhere to stay for a day or two. 360 00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,876 Hmm, something happen between you and Ed? 361 00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:07,510 He's an odd fish, isn't he? 362 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:09,276 I see you've been painting your father again. 363 00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:12,843 Oh, yes. [chuckles] [growls] 364 00:12:12,976 --> 00:12:14,010 I'm in a quandary. 365 00:12:14,976 --> 00:12:16,210 Lorna's back. 366 00:12:16,343 --> 00:12:17,843 The American with the dickey eye? 367 00:12:17,976 --> 00:12:19,243 Only when she does close-ups. 368 00:12:19,376 --> 00:12:22,110 I remember the mess she made of you last time. 369 00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:24,743 Didn't you cry so hard, you shat yourself in your room? 370 00:12:24,876 --> 00:12:26,743 No, I shut myself in my room. 371 00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:28,376 I shat myself in Oddbins. 372 00:12:28,510 --> 00:12:30,176 Oh, yes, that's right. 373 00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:32,410 Didn't I just read they're facing liquidation? 374 00:12:34,110 --> 00:12:36,443 They weren't the only ones. [chuckles heartily] 375 00:12:36,576 --> 00:12:37,910 I'd stick to drama, Toast. 376 00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:42,310 But you did love her, didn't you? 377 00:12:43,310 --> 00:12:44,676 -[gentle music] -I did. 378 00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:45,476 I still do. 379 00:12:45,610 --> 00:12:46,443 Oh. 380 00:12:48,443 --> 00:12:49,810 I don't mean to impose, Bacon, 381 00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:52,610 but I really don't have anywhere else to go. 382 00:12:53,810 --> 00:12:57,643 [melancholic music] 383 00:12:57,776 --> 00:13:01,643 * From a tramp to a king, come winter or spring * 384 00:13:01,776 --> 00:13:05,810 * The song that you sing remains the same tune * 385 00:13:05,943 --> 00:13:09,876 * It'll pass untold when love takes hold * 386 00:13:10,010 --> 00:13:12,110 * Like a weight made of gold * 387 00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:17,110 -* And it pulls so hard * -* Weighed down * 388 00:13:17,876 --> 00:13:21,610 * I'm weighed down * 389 00:13:21,743 --> 00:13:25,343 * Weighed down * 390 00:13:25,476 --> 00:13:28,343 * I'm weighed down * 391 00:13:37,910 --> 00:13:41,943 [melancholic ballad instrumental] 392 00:13:54,343 --> 00:13:59,110 [melancholic ballad instrumental quietens] 393 00:14:00,876 --> 00:14:02,876 What are you doing here with an old queen like me, Toast? 394 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:03,876 Go to Lorna. 395 00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:06,743 Love is the greatest gift we share. 396 00:14:06,876 --> 00:14:08,276 No, you're right, Bacon. 397 00:14:09,643 --> 00:14:10,610 Thanks, old friend! 398 00:14:15,310 --> 00:14:17,010 -[door latch clicks] -And what you looking at? 399 00:14:17,143 --> 00:14:18,643 [door thuds shut] 400 00:14:18,776 --> 00:14:20,810 [Honeysuckle groaning demonically] 401 00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:25,776 -[thunder rumbling] -[vomit sploshing] 402 00:14:28,143 --> 00:14:32,943 -[demonic growls resonates] -[vomit sloshing] 403 00:14:34,776 --> 00:14:36,576 I'm not certain that this is a gluten allergy. 404 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:37,943 [Honeysuckle belches] 405 00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:39,543 I'm gonna give Alan the homoeopath a ring. 406 00:14:39,676 --> 00:14:41,010 What? 407 00:14:41,143 --> 00:14:42,910 [Honeysuckle groans demonically] 408 00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:43,943 -[vomit sploshing] -Hello, Alan? 409 00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:45,410 Jackie Paper. 410 00:14:45,543 --> 00:14:47,776 You free for a home visit? 411 00:14:47,910 --> 00:14:48,910 [Toast tapping on door] 412 00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:49,776 Lorna! 413 00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:50,743 [seductive soul music] 414 00:14:50,876 --> 00:14:52,676 [Toast grunts] 415 00:14:52,810 --> 00:14:54,843 [horse whinnies] 416 00:14:54,976 --> 00:14:58,810 -[Toast moans] -[horse whinny echoing] 417 00:14:58,943 --> 00:15:01,343 [both moaning] 418 00:15:01,476 --> 00:15:03,476 [horse whinny echoing] 419 00:15:03,610 --> 00:15:04,376 Oh! 420 00:15:05,410 --> 00:15:06,376 Oh, my gosh! 421 00:15:06,510 --> 00:15:08,110 Putt, putt, putt, oh! 422 00:15:08,210 --> 00:15:09,810 Oh my God! 423 00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:10,843 Oh! 424 00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:12,510 -[Toast grunts] -Oh, my gosh! 425 00:15:12,643 --> 00:15:13,810 [horse whinny echoing] 426 00:15:13,943 --> 00:15:15,576 That was definitely the best sex I've ever had 427 00:15:15,710 --> 00:15:16,810 without getting an erection. 428 00:15:16,943 --> 00:15:18,176 What's that all about? 429 00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:19,943 It's 'cause I'm so in love with you. 430 00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:21,610 I can only ever normally achieve an erection 431 00:15:21,743 --> 00:15:23,243 with people I have zero respect for. 432 00:15:23,376 --> 00:15:27,110 Oh! 433 00:15:27,210 --> 00:15:28,643 -There he is! -There he is. 434 00:15:28,776 --> 00:15:29,643 [camera clicks] 435 00:15:29,776 --> 00:15:31,443 Hey, I'm gonna go round to Ed's 436 00:15:31,576 --> 00:15:33,010 and pick up the rest of my belongings, 437 00:15:33,143 --> 00:15:34,443 but I'll be straight back. 438 00:15:34,576 --> 00:15:36,010 Perfect. 439 00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:37,543 Oh, there's one thing, though, Toast, before you go. 440 00:15:37,676 --> 00:15:39,310 I'm not even sure if it's worth mentioning, 441 00:15:39,443 --> 00:15:41,276 but, erm, it may be relevant. 442 00:15:41,410 --> 00:15:42,643 What is it? 443 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,110 I'm married. 444 00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:45,410 [dramatic music beat] 445 00:15:45,543 --> 00:15:46,910 -You're married? -Yeah, 446 00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:49,143 although my husband pays me so little attention, 447 00:15:49,276 --> 00:15:52,143 he may have actually forgotten about it so. 448 00:15:52,276 --> 00:15:53,343 You're married to someone else? 449 00:15:53,476 --> 00:15:54,576 I think you should meet him 450 00:15:54,710 --> 00:15:56,310 and explain the situation. 451 00:15:56,443 --> 00:15:58,543 It would be so much better coming from you. 452 00:15:58,676 --> 00:16:01,110 Tell him that my marriage to him is over. 453 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,610 He's recording in London at the moment. 454 00:16:02,743 --> 00:16:04,110 You could go to his studio. 455 00:16:04,210 --> 00:16:05,276 He's not one of those chaps 456 00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:06,676 with his bare backside hanging out, 457 00:16:06,810 --> 00:16:08,710 carrying industrial tape and drugs, is he? 458 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,576 No, he's not a fucking... 459 00:16:10,710 --> 00:16:13,776 He's not a roadie, Toast, he's a rock musician. 460 00:16:13,910 --> 00:16:15,776 Come on, honey, this could be our second chance. 461 00:16:15,910 --> 00:16:17,210 You know what? You're right. 462 00:16:18,576 --> 00:16:20,010 I don't care that you're married to someone else. 463 00:16:20,143 --> 00:16:21,443 It's you I love. 464 00:16:21,576 --> 00:16:24,743 And after years of being dealt the deuce, 465 00:16:24,876 --> 00:16:27,110 I finally feel like I'm holding a flush. 466 00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:33,443 -[both moan] -[gentle music] 467 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:36,710 [demonic laughter echoing] 468 00:16:36,843 --> 00:16:37,676 -[chilling music] -Ed? 469 00:16:37,810 --> 00:16:39,110 I'm down here, under the table! 470 00:16:39,210 --> 00:16:40,510 What the hell are you doing down there? 471 00:16:40,643 --> 00:16:41,710 Hiding from Honeysuckle. 472 00:16:41,843 --> 00:16:43,310 I just came to say goodbye, Ed. 473 00:16:43,443 --> 00:16:44,510 I'm moving in with Lorna. 474 00:16:44,643 --> 00:16:46,943 -Oh, don't leave me! -I have to. 475 00:16:47,110 --> 00:16:48,310 I need to move on. 476 00:16:48,443 --> 00:16:49,710 I know it's the right thing to do. 477 00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:50,976 -[demonic groaning echos] -I... 478 00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:51,643 -What's wrong, Toast? -Nothing, I er... 479 00:16:54,110 --> 00:16:55,410 [husband groans] 480 00:16:55,543 --> 00:16:57,643 [cheesy dramatic music] 481 00:16:57,776 --> 00:16:59,576 [body thuds] 482 00:16:59,710 --> 00:17:03,410 [gasps] Oh, my God! 483 00:17:03,543 --> 00:17:05,276 Come on, Principal, we don't have much time. 484 00:17:05,410 --> 00:17:07,143 Our flight to Hawaii leaves in an hour. 485 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,510 [Principal sobs] 486 00:17:08,643 --> 00:17:10,276 But you said you hated your husband. 487 00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:12,443 That you wanted him dead and that you love me. 488 00:17:12,576 --> 00:17:13,776 [Principal sobs] 489 00:17:13,910 --> 00:17:16,310 You do love me, don't you? 490 00:17:16,443 --> 00:17:18,576 Don't tell me that I've got this badly wrong? 491 00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:20,343 -[Principal cries] -[dramatic music] 492 00:17:20,476 --> 00:17:21,843 I'll bring the car out front. 493 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,010 See you in a minute. 494 00:17:26,876 --> 00:17:31,776 -[door thuds] -No! [sobs] 495 00:17:32,743 --> 00:17:33,843 [demonic wailing echoing] 496 00:17:33,976 --> 00:17:34,810 [Ed] You're not having second thoughts 497 00:17:34,943 --> 00:17:35,610 about you and Lorna, are you? 498 00:17:35,743 --> 00:17:36,876 Of course I'm not. 499 00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:38,210 What the hell's with all the knives? 500 00:17:38,343 --> 00:17:39,643 It was part of my father's collection. 501 00:17:39,776 --> 00:17:40,776 -Do you want one? -Why not? 502 00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:42,643 Everyone else seems to have one. 503 00:17:42,776 --> 00:17:43,876 I hope that homoeopath gets here soon! 504 00:17:44,010 --> 00:17:45,476 -[demon cackles] -[glass smashes] 505 00:17:45,610 --> 00:17:47,010 [demonic laughter reverberates] 506 00:17:47,143 --> 00:17:50,543 [upbeat mysterious music] 507 00:18:01,343 --> 00:18:02,743 [Lorna sighs deeply] 508 00:18:02,876 --> 00:18:05,343 -[awful band music halts] -Stop, stop, guys. 509 00:18:06,743 --> 00:18:08,276 It's too loud. 510 00:18:08,410 --> 00:18:10,810 There's something's been on my mind for the last few days. 511 00:18:10,943 --> 00:18:11,843 What is it, Josh? 512 00:18:13,476 --> 00:18:15,410 I think we should scrap these electric instruments 513 00:18:15,543 --> 00:18:18,843 and just play wooden ones. 514 00:18:18,976 --> 00:18:20,310 We're about to begin an arena tour. 515 00:18:20,443 --> 00:18:21,976 How are they gonna hear us? 516 00:18:22,110 --> 00:18:25,610 I wanna cancel those venues and just play churches. 517 00:18:25,743 --> 00:18:26,943 What the fuck? 518 00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:28,743 You know, I'm getting just a little sick 519 00:18:28,876 --> 00:18:30,643 of the amount of bad language 520 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:33,776 and the unprotected sex that I see on these arena tours. 521 00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:35,176 -[drummer laughs] -No, I'm serious. 522 00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:36,943 -[dramatic music] -You think I'm kidding? 523 00:18:37,110 --> 00:18:38,843 I dare you to test me. 524 00:18:38,976 --> 00:18:40,676 I will strangle you with the hands 525 00:18:40,810 --> 00:18:44,543 -that the good Lord gave me. -[phone vibrates] 526 00:18:50,110 --> 00:18:51,610 What the hell is that? 527 00:18:51,743 --> 00:18:54,310 [upbeat music] 528 00:18:55,610 --> 00:18:56,476 Okay, Lorna. 529 00:18:56,610 --> 00:18:57,776 I'm going to go in there, 530 00:18:57,910 --> 00:18:59,310 sort the rock man out once and for all 531 00:18:59,443 --> 00:19:01,110 and then we can start our new life together. 532 00:19:01,176 --> 00:19:02,543 [Lorna sighs] 533 00:19:02,676 --> 00:19:05,543 [mysterious music] 534 00:19:07,610 --> 00:19:08,876 Good luck. 535 00:19:09,010 --> 00:19:10,843 -[angelic music ends] -Isn't that beautiful? 536 00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:13,776 [door thuds open] 537 00:19:13,910 --> 00:19:16,843 Which one of you cocksuckers is Lorna Wynde's husband? 538 00:19:16,976 --> 00:19:17,743 That'd be me. 539 00:19:17,876 --> 00:19:19,110 Oh, yeah? 540 00:19:19,210 --> 00:19:19,910 Well, she's in love with me 541 00:19:20,110 --> 00:19:20,876 and she's leaving you 542 00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:22,510 and your marriage is over. 543 00:19:22,643 --> 00:19:25,443 So you'd better deal with that like a man and step aside. 544 00:19:25,576 --> 00:19:27,276 What did you just say? 545 00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:29,110 What, are you fucking deaf? 546 00:19:29,243 --> 00:19:30,676 [guitar clunks] 547 00:19:30,810 --> 00:19:31,710 Whoa! 548 00:19:31,843 --> 00:19:32,676 -[blade slashes] -[Josh wails] 549 00:19:32,810 --> 00:19:34,110 Oh, shit, his nose has come off! 550 00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:35,376 -[Josh groaning] -It's all right, I've got it. 551 00:19:35,510 --> 00:19:36,476 -Argh! -I've got it. 552 00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:37,610 Oh, God! 553 00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,210 His beautiful nose! 554 00:19:39,343 --> 00:19:40,376 Yeah, his nose is fine. 555 00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:41,576 He just walked into the blade. 556 00:19:41,710 --> 00:19:43,976 No, no, no! 557 00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:45,476 Lorna, we need to go. 558 00:19:45,610 --> 00:19:47,610 I arranged for us to look at a flat at 5.30. 559 00:19:47,743 --> 00:19:49,110 Look what you've done! 560 00:19:49,210 --> 00:19:50,376 I didn't do anything! 561 00:19:50,510 --> 00:19:51,676 Like I said, he walked into the blade! 562 00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:53,243 -[Josh groaning] -Oh, darling! 563 00:19:54,543 --> 00:19:55,410 I'm sorry I've been neglecting you. 564 00:19:55,543 --> 00:19:57,476 I wanna renew our marriage vows 565 00:19:57,610 --> 00:19:59,543 and I wanna live a holy life. 566 00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:01,343 And I'm sorry, too, honey. 567 00:20:01,476 --> 00:20:03,076 I sent you those selfies of me and Toast 568 00:20:03,210 --> 00:20:04,543 to make you jealous. 569 00:20:04,676 --> 00:20:06,643 Just so you'd pay me a little more attention. 570 00:20:06,776 --> 00:20:09,176 It's you I love, not him. 571 00:20:09,310 --> 00:20:12,710 No way him, he's a fucking loser asshole! 572 00:20:12,843 --> 00:20:14,910 -[tense music builds] -[blade clanks] 573 00:20:15,043 --> 00:20:16,276 What a fool I've been. 574 00:20:16,410 --> 00:20:18,376 She's obviously still in love with the rock man. 575 00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:19,843 All this to make him jealous. 576 00:20:19,976 --> 00:20:22,176 Just like that two-bit soap we were in. 577 00:20:22,310 --> 00:20:23,776 I thought I'd been dealt a flush, 578 00:20:23,910 --> 00:20:25,810 but I've ended up with another deuce. 579 00:20:25,943 --> 00:20:27,610 I'd better say that out loud. 580 00:20:27,743 --> 00:20:28,943 I thought I'd been dealt a flush, 581 00:20:29,076 --> 00:20:30,510 but I've ended up with another deuce. 582 00:20:30,643 --> 00:20:33,110 Can somebody call an ambulance? 583 00:20:33,243 --> 00:20:34,410 Oh, God! 584 00:20:35,576 --> 00:20:37,310 What shall I do about the flat? 585 00:20:37,443 --> 00:20:39,343 [eerie melodic music] 586 00:20:39,476 --> 00:20:43,243 [people grunting and moaning] 587 00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:45,876 Ed, is that you? 588 00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:46,710 I'm coming in! 589 00:20:46,843 --> 00:20:47,676 Don't, Toast! 590 00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:49,443 Please, don't come in! 591 00:20:49,576 --> 00:20:50,776 I'm coming in. 592 00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:53,276 -[demon growling] -[wind howling] 593 00:20:53,410 --> 00:20:55,376 What the hell are you two up to, Ed? 594 00:20:55,510 --> 00:20:56,476 Hey, cocksucker. 595 00:20:56,610 --> 00:20:58,376 Wanna see something cool? 596 00:20:58,510 --> 00:20:59,210 What? 597 00:20:59,343 --> 00:21:00,476 [demon growls] 598 00:21:00,610 --> 00:21:03,343 [thunder cracks] 599 00:21:04,476 --> 00:21:05,510 Dear God! 600 00:21:05,643 --> 00:21:07,110 [Honeysuckle growls demonically] 601 00:21:07,243 --> 00:21:09,976 The good news is that Alan the homoeopath is on his way. 602 00:21:10,110 --> 00:21:11,576 [thunder cracks] 603 00:21:11,710 --> 00:21:12,943 [Alan] Is the girl in there? 604 00:21:13,110 --> 00:21:13,943 Is that you, Alan? 605 00:21:14,110 --> 00:21:15,343 [Alan] Of course it's me! 606 00:21:15,476 --> 00:21:17,110 [thunder rumbling] 607 00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:20,743 [dramatic heroic music] 608 00:21:20,876 --> 00:21:23,176 [Toast] What are you gonna do, Alan? 609 00:21:23,310 --> 00:21:25,210 What am I gonna to do? 610 00:21:25,343 --> 00:21:27,376 I'm a fuckin' homoeopath, aren't I? 611 00:21:27,510 --> 00:21:30,110 I'm gonna do it the natural way. 612 00:21:30,176 --> 00:21:32,143 [demon snarling] 613 00:21:32,276 --> 00:21:35,276 -[dramatic music] -[thunder cracking] 614 00:21:35,410 --> 00:21:37,710 Fuck 615 00:21:37,843 --> 00:21:39,110 -off! -[catapult whacks] 616 00:21:39,243 --> 00:21:41,510 [angelic music] 617 00:21:41,643 --> 00:21:43,110 That should do it. 618 00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:45,943 Well, I must say, I'm very impressed. 619 00:21:46,110 --> 00:21:48,876 This homoeopathy lark seems to have done the trick. 620 00:21:49,010 --> 00:21:50,176 I don't know much about it, 621 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,910 but there's clearly a marked improvement. 622 00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:53,710 You see, a lot of people, 623 00:21:53,843 --> 00:21:55,976 they look down their nose at homoeopathy. 624 00:21:56,110 --> 00:21:57,310 They think it's a scam, 625 00:21:58,643 --> 00:21:59,710 but that's because they don't know 626 00:21:59,843 --> 00:22:01,443 what the fuck they're talking about. 627 00:22:03,110 --> 00:22:04,610 Well, it's clearly very effective, 628 00:22:04,743 --> 00:22:06,676 and not the complete bullshit I'd assumed. 629 00:22:08,010 --> 00:22:09,843 Ah, so, everything back to normal. 630 00:22:11,110 --> 00:22:12,610 So, Toast, 631 00:22:12,743 --> 00:22:14,776 how did the confrontation with Lorna's husband go? 632 00:22:16,576 --> 00:22:17,976 Turns out Lorna was using me 633 00:22:18,110 --> 00:22:20,543 just to make her husband jealous. 634 00:22:20,676 --> 00:22:23,476 She's still very much in love with the rock man. 635 00:22:23,610 --> 00:22:25,376 We won't be moving in together. 636 00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:26,476 Oh, shame. 637 00:22:27,476 --> 00:22:30,110 Then there was an altercation 638 00:22:30,243 --> 00:22:31,943 and his nose got cut off. 639 00:22:32,110 --> 00:22:33,910 [melodic melancholic music] 640 00:22:34,110 --> 00:22:35,276 Are you all right, son? 641 00:22:36,476 --> 00:22:37,943 He'll be fine. 642 00:22:38,110 --> 00:22:39,443 As I said, 643 00:22:39,576 --> 00:22:40,910 everything back to normal. 644 00:22:41,876 --> 00:22:45,010 ["Take My Hand" by Matt Berry] 645 00:22:45,143 --> 00:22:47,510 * So, take my hand, * 646 00:22:47,643 --> 00:22:52,443 * We'll disappear to a pub that's not too far from here * 647 00:22:54,110 --> 00:22:56,976 * Though I don't know you and you don't know me * 648 00:22:57,110 --> 00:23:01,110 * I just had to talk to you, you see * 649 00:23:01,243 --> 00:23:04,776 * So, say you'll come, please don't go * 650 00:23:04,910 --> 00:23:09,243 * You could be the one for all I know *