WEBVTT 1 00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:09,792 - Previously, on "Happy!"... It's Hailey's birthday! 2 00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:13,187 all: ♪ Happy birthday to... 3 00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:15,363 - [shrieks] 4 00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:17,495 - Hailey! - Happy birthday. 5 00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:20,194 - How did you know? - That's what friends are for. 6 00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:22,370 - You want me to kill you? 7 00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:24,720 - It's not me, Pink. It's someone else. 8 00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,200 - Orcus. 9 00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:27,549 - Hey, hot stuff. 10 00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:29,638 - You're cheating on me. [toy thunks] 11 00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:32,423 - Come on! - [screams] 12 00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,077 [air hisses] 13 00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:36,471 - You forgot my birthday, Mom! - Something I can't remember, 14 00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:39,430 something I can't understand. 15 00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:40,736 I know what I have to do now. 16 00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:42,738 I'm here to see Sonny Shine. 17 00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:44,261 - He's got blackmail on everyone. 18 00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:45,480 It's on videotape. 19 00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,221 - The real stuff's gotta be at Shine Tower, 20 00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:49,353 so that is where we're gonna go. 21 00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,660 - I run the third-largest network in the nation. 22 00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:54,184 - [screaming] 23 00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:55,359 - [gasps] 24 00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:58,188 - This is my stage, Sonny! [grunts] 25 00:00:58,232 --> 00:01:00,408 [microphone feedback] 26 00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:02,366 [bones crunching] 27 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,238 - I killed it. - [shrieks] 28 00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:05,804 - Whatever it was that came out of that thing, 29 00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:07,763 I put it in a jelly jar. I stuck it in the fridge. 30 00:01:07,806 --> 00:01:09,678 - [gasps, groaning] 31 00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,680 - Holy shit. - Nick, where are you? 32 00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:12,811 - Some dad. 33 00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:14,857 He forgot his daughter's birthday. 34 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,467 - And I'm, uh, going right there and I'm gonna 35 00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:17,816 get her the stuffed, uh-- what do you call it? 36 00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:19,253 - The Wishees. 37 00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:21,646 - [sobbing] 38 00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:25,824 [jaunty music] 39 00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:32,918 ♪ 40 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:49,152 [eerie music] 41 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:56,203 ♪ 42 00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:01,164 - [hollering] 43 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,600 [heavy metal music] 44 00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:03,949 [suits squeak] 45 00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:08,258 ♪ 46 00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:10,260 [music stops] 47 00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:13,655 [overlapping chatter] [phones ringing] 48 00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:16,658 [man singing and screaming indistinctly] 49 00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:20,270 ♪ 50 00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:24,535 [grunting] 51 00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:25,884 [sighs] Fuck. 52 00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:27,669 [gunshot] - My ass! 53 00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:29,018 - Sax? 54 00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:30,802 male narrator: Two Sockatoos, one bullet-- 55 00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:33,370 the timeframe: 5.6 seconds. 56 00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,677 The bullet leaves Merry McCarthy's Glock 25 57 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:39,246 at 1:34 p.m. at a velocity of 1,200 feet per second. 58 00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:40,943 It penetrates the Wishee costume, 59 00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:42,466 then makes a sharp, 60 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,338 nigh impossible change of direction, 61 00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:46,949 continuing at an angle of 27 diagonal degrees 62 00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,646 through Sax's grassy knoll, 63 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,996 barely grazing his two pimpled flesh mounds. 64 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,870 Defying all laws of gravity, probability, and decency, 65 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:56,785 the bullet then bursts free of the dark canyon, 66 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:59,309 narrowly avoiding the all-too-tempting target 67 00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,876 of Sax's sweet-- 68 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,225 [ding] 69 00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,661 That's some bullet. 70 00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,968 [funky music] 71 00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,013 - How the hell did you get this thing out of there? 72 00:03:08,057 --> 00:03:10,015 - Like shoving a cat in a mason jar, Mer. 73 00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:13,367 [both grunting, panting] 74 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,543 I don't know. 75 00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,371 Dipshit Dan just might be on to something. 76 00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:19,677 Maybe this thing is from another planet. 77 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,636 - Doug's dead. Sonny killed him. 78 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:24,900 - Yeah, Doug, right, not Dan. 79 00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:26,945 Sorry. 80 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:29,731 [both grunting] 81 00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:32,386 - What the hell were you doing at Shine Tower anyway? 82 00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:33,865 - Yeah, the million-dollar question, Mer. 83 00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,258 I got no idea. 84 00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,782 Last thing I remember... [grunts] 85 00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:39,915 I was in your kitchen eating a PB&J. 86 00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:42,526 - Oh, that wasn't "J." You ate its blood. 87 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,746 ♪ 88 00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,269 I know what you're thinking. 89 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:47,923 - No, you don't. 90 00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,011 - Go on. - What? 91 00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,142 - Say it. - No. 92 00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:51,927 - The blood brought you back to its host. 93 00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,537 - I think you know how full-batshit you sound. 94 00:03:53,581 --> 00:03:55,626 - Sure do, and yet... 95 00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:58,934 - And yet... 96 00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,501 - Oh, hey. - What? 97 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,633 - Found another tape. - Oh, no more sex tape shit. 98 00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:05,070 - It's Kap Gostynski. - Mm. 99 00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,594 - He's the head of the network, Sax. 100 00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:07,856 - Exactly, who gives a shit? 101 00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,031 - Don't you know what that means? 102 00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,859 We're gonna hit Sonny where he's soft. 103 00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:12,034 - No, we're not. 104 00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:14,558 What we are gonna do is cut this thing open 105 00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:15,559 and see what's inside him. 106 00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:16,778 Now use your legs, not your back, 107 00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,301 count of three. 108 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,911 One, two-- 109 00:04:19,955 --> 00:04:22,914 [Wishee splats] 110 00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:25,439 Did you use your legs? 111 00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:31,836 ♪ 112 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:35,492 One, two, three. [both grunt] 113 00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:37,886 [both panting] 114 00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:40,454 - Seriously, what the fuck is it? 115 00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:41,977 - Well, according to Dayglo Doug, 116 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,370 sometime in the Etruscan Age-- 117 00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,720 - That's not funny. - Well, look, Mer, 118 00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,461 I know this may be hard to believe, but I, too, 119 00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,941 have had occasion to question my sanity as of late. 120 00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:51,116 - Oh, I believe it. 121 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,466 - Well, you know, alls I'm saying is that 122 00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:54,076 your best bet is just roll with it. 123 00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:57,601 You know, don't overthink it. 124 00:04:57,645 --> 00:05:01,475 Thinking, actually, is bad. 125 00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:02,867 - Let go of me! 126 00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:06,871 I want to see Sonny Shine! 127 00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:08,830 Tell him it's Amanda Hansen! 128 00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:11,398 You have no right to keep me in here. 129 00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:12,921 [panting] 130 00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,923 [sighs] 131 00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:17,969 [foreboding music] 132 00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:20,015 [approaching footsteps] 133 00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:21,756 - Miss Hansen. 134 00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,758 You're back. - I want answers, Shine. 135 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,760 - You want answers. 136 00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:29,416 I want answers! 137 00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:30,678 [deep breath] 138 00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:33,376 Someone stole something from my building. 139 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:36,074 Two not-as-yet-but-soon-to-be identified individuals 140 00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:39,687 broke in and made off with something very, 141 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,950 very precious to me. 142 00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:45,823 The violation of it all, Miss Hansen... 143 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,651 ♪ 144 00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:50,393 The violation... 145 00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:51,916 But I'm sure you wouldn't know anything about that. 146 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:55,703 [sniffs] I'm sure your being here 147 00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:58,053 is a complete coincidence. 148 00:05:58,096 --> 00:05:59,881 - You're covered in blood. 149 00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:02,579 - I met up with an old friend. Things got crazy. 150 00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:04,625 I don't have time for this. 151 00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,496 I have a show to prepare for. 152 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,150 I'll keep this simple. Why are you here? 153 00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:10,544 - That night-- 154 00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:13,938 that night in your tower, 155 00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:16,724 something happened to me. 156 00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:20,423 Now you are gonna tell me what you did to me or-- 157 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,860 - [whistles] 158 00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:26,081 - [screams] [panting] 159 00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:28,823 [whimpering] 160 00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:31,913 [panting] 161 00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,659 - Shh. 162 00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:40,574 [Wishee chirping, burbling] 163 00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:42,837 Yes? [Wishees chirping, burbling] 164 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,969 Yes, yes. 165 00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:49,147 No, no. 166 00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:52,150 [laughs] Color me gobsmacked. 167 00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:54,718 ♪ 168 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:58,853 You are special. 169 00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:01,943 I know what's missing in your life. 170 00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:03,771 And shame on them for being such 171 00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:06,817 super secret keepers! 172 00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:10,038 Miss Hansen, you're with child. 173 00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:12,954 ♪ 174 00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:15,173 - What? 175 00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:17,567 - Listen, sister, I'm with you. 176 00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:20,222 I--my hard drive's whirling away. 177 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,050 - [heavy breathing] 178 00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:24,966 - Oh, you're a woman, 179 00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:28,578 and you've got a lot of nonsensical emotions, 180 00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:31,059 um, brewing up in you right now. 181 00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,930 - [screams] Let go of me! 182 00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,063 - I know what you need. 183 00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:36,804 ♪ 184 00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:39,807 [dark music] 185 00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:41,983 ♪ 186 00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:45,116 This will fill that void you're feeling inside. 187 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,119 [eerie music] 188 00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:49,512 ♪ 189 00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,166 Come back when you need more. 190 00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:54,212 - [whimpering] 191 00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:57,215 [romantic music] 192 00:07:57,259 --> 00:08:04,309 ♪ 193 00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:10,533 - You sure can do some cool stuff with your tongue. 194 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:11,752 - Friend showed me, 195 00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:13,318 and you don't know the half of it. 196 00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,843 - My friend Hailey showed me how to do this... 197 00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,975 ♪ 198 00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:19,803 - Oh, wow. 199 00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:21,675 - We used to do everything together-- 200 00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:25,026 the carousel, flying kites by the pier. 201 00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:26,854 - Uh-huh. 202 00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:29,552 - Last year on her birthday, we made paper lanterns 203 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,336 with, like, all the colors. 204 00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,599 She was so happy. 205 00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:35,558 But this year I forgot her birthday. 206 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:38,343 That look on her face, she-- she's just changed so much. 207 00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:40,041 - For shit's sake! 208 00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:41,912 Hailey, Hailey, Hailey! 209 00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:44,175 Is that all you can talk about? 210 00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:46,700 - Uh, what? - She's not thinking about you. 211 00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,571 Why are you thinking about her? 212 00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:51,095 "Friends." Ha, what a scam. 213 00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:54,272 We exist for them, and then they just forget. 214 00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:57,362 What kind of a friend is that? 215 00:08:57,406 --> 00:09:00,757 Hmm, c'est la vie, am I right? 216 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:02,716 - I think so? 217 00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,587 - Let's get out of here, 218 00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,589 do something crazy. 219 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:10,027 - Isn't this crazy? 220 00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:13,857 - Sure, but I'm talking about... 221 00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:16,904 - [laughs] That's what she said. 222 00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:19,254 [devious music] 223 00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:20,472 - So where do you want to start? 224 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,910 - Give me an asshole, a mouth, or something. 225 00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,999 Get my bearings. 226 00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:28,916 - [clicks tongue] Try the middle? 227 00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:31,962 [saw whirring] 228 00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:35,618 [flesh squelching] [Wishee screeches] 229 00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,272 - [grunts] 230 00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:40,275 [Wishee screeching] 231 00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:43,321 [dramatic music] 232 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:46,760 ♪ 233 00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:47,935 - Third weirdest thing I've seen all day. 234 00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:49,153 - Did you see where it went? 235 00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:50,894 - That truck hit me, all I saw was stars 236 00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:52,243 and little birds spinning around. 237 00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:53,767 Tweet, tweet. Tweet, tweet. 238 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,769 - Le Dic, what the fuck are you doing here? 239 00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,335 - I'm doing you one, big, hard solid-- 240 00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:59,250 though I don't know why I should. 241 00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,383 Someone wants you dead. - Oh, shocker. 242 00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:02,950 Who is it this time? 243 00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:05,256 - The Bug. 244 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,606 - What'd he say? 245 00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,651 - He tempted me with all my vices rolled into one. 246 00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:11,959 Ladies, liquor, and luck. [women moan] 247 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:13,830 He baited that hook 248 00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:16,050 with the finest Cajun country pie 249 00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:18,313 you've ever almost tasted-- 250 00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,054 by pie, I mean pussy. 251 00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:21,098 - Yep. 252 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,360 - This Bug gets me all drugged up, 253 00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:24,145 says he's looking for a taxi driver. 254 00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:25,799 Someone's been getting up in his business, 255 00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,975 robbed his house, busted up one of his operations, 256 00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,237 and he wants a name, 257 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,368 and he just knows I can give it to him. 258 00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:31,935 So I play it cool, right? 259 00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:34,416 But he looks at you with those big, round bug eyes-- 260 00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,723 shiny like an oil slick, and I'm smart. 261 00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:38,942 I say, "I tell you a name, I'm as good as dead. 262 00:10:38,986 --> 00:10:40,248 "So I'll do one better, 263 00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:41,771 and I'll bring him straight to you." 264 00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:42,990 - I'm touched, Le Dic, really. 265 00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:44,121 - I ain't criss-crossing you, Sax. 266 00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:45,993 That is why I'm here. - Yeah, right. 267 00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,734 Honor amongst scumbags? - Exactly. 268 00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:50,214 This Bug--he ain't one of us. 269 00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:52,216 To tell you the truth, well, this ain't the first time 270 00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:55,002 that I seen him. 271 00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:57,308 I used to be into some weird sexual shit. 272 00:10:57,352 --> 00:10:59,702 I ain't too proud to admit it-- 273 00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:02,836 role-play, getting beat up, whipped, 274 00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:05,012 wolf bag, scatty pants-- 275 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,709 - Jesus Christ. Get to the point. 276 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,232 - I moved through dark circles-- 277 00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:10,147 nasty, pervy-- 278 00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:14,935 till one night, I end up at this high-roller's orgy, 279 00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:17,328 latex lovers dressed like animals. 280 00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:19,461 I don't remember what happened, but I remember that Bug. 281 00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:22,072 And he was right there in the middle of all of it. 282 00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:26,033 Whatever happened there, well... 283 00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:29,166 it made me do caca in my Hanes. 284 00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:30,864 I never wanted to go back there after that. 285 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,866 - And yet-- - Six, seven times tops. 286 00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,215 - Okay, where was this orgy? 287 00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:36,260 - That's the crazy part. 288 00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:37,871 Shine Tower, 289 00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:41,222 you know, that kiddy clown on TV. 290 00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:43,137 Yeah, well... 291 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,356 roll this up and smoke it, Sax. 292 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,445 A little bird told me another one 293 00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:49,056 of those nasty parties is going off, 294 00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,535 and I mean tonight. 295 00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:51,928 [phone ringing] 296 00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:54,931 - Look, we need--oh. 297 00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:57,368 - [stammers] - Uh, hey. 298 00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:59,980 - Nick, I'm gonna need you to take Hailey today. 299 00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:03,244 - Uh, now's not a good time-- - Don't you dare. 300 00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:06,073 Don't you dare finish that sentence, Nicholas. 301 00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:08,031 Don't you dare! 302 00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:10,338 [phone line beeping] 303 00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:13,863 [shoes squeaking] 304 00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:15,909 - Uh, yeah, I gotta take care of something. 305 00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:16,910 - Really? Now? 306 00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:19,216 - You, I want in to Pervapalooza. 307 00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:21,131 - Can do. 308 00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:24,961 But you're gonna need a costume. 309 00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:27,790 - Warden. 310 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,313 - [scoffs] 311 00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:32,099 Goddamn Wolfpack. 312 00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:34,101 You can stand. 313 00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:37,278 Won't be long. 314 00:12:37,321 --> 00:12:38,888 Not a hockey fan? 315 00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:41,195 - Calcio Storico. 316 00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:42,500 600 years old. 317 00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:44,851 They still play it once a year. 318 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,505 Piazza Santa Croce. 319 00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:49,377 That's in Florence. 320 00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,988 Florence, Italy. 321 00:12:52,032 --> 00:12:55,209 Now, if you were to turn up with your stick, 322 00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:58,299 and your pads, and your helmet... 323 00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:00,257 they'd shove them all up your ass 324 00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:03,217 and you'd buy them a pint afterwards. 325 00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:06,263 Makes your hockey seem rather like foxy boxing, 326 00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:09,179 which I do happen to hold in high regard-- 327 00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,312 foxy boxing, that is, 328 00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:12,530 not hockey. 329 00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:17,361 - Let's talk about, uh, this whole... 330 00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:20,843 Kumbaya thing you got going on. 331 00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:21,931 - "Kumbaya"? 332 00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:24,020 - I see what's going on out there-- 333 00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:27,850 Aryan Brotherhood, Black Gangster Disciples, 334 00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:31,941 and Nuestra Familia all getting along together 335 00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:33,856 like a Waldorf salad. 336 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,423 There hasn't been a violent incident 337 00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:38,382 or a disciplinary infraction 338 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:41,995 of any kind in over 72 hours. 339 00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:44,998 - That's lovely. - That's not lovely. 340 00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:48,436 That's fucking unacceptable, 341 00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:51,874 because if the gangs aren't fighting each other, 342 00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:55,182 they're fighting the guards, they're fighting me, 343 00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:57,271 and I have to keep the peace. 344 00:13:57,314 --> 00:14:00,013 And, uh... [laughs] 345 00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:02,102 Ooh. [hisses through teeth] 346 00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:05,192 Keeping the peace can hurt. 347 00:14:05,235 --> 00:14:07,063 [tense music] 348 00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:08,499 You get me? 349 00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:11,372 - I think I do. - I like to hear that. 350 00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:13,983 I like that you and I 351 00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:16,377 can be on the level. 352 00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,944 It stops, 353 00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:20,468 or you are gonna spend the rest of your days 354 00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:23,906 with that hockey stick shoved up your ass, 355 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:27,214 and we won't be grabbing any pints, 356 00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:30,130 you and me. 357 00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:34,047 Understand? 358 00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:36,919 I'm gonna need you to say 359 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:39,008 you understand. 360 00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:41,141 ♪ 361 00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:43,534 - Perfectly. 362 00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:47,408 [mellow music] 363 00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,279 - This is your place? 364 00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:52,587 - I, you know, crash here with my friend. 365 00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:54,589 - The infamous Hailey. 366 00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:56,634 - No, not--not Hailey, Nick. 367 00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:58,941 - Excusez-moi? 368 00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:01,074 - It--it's complicated. 369 00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,119 - I'm complicated. Try me. 370 00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:05,252 - Well, I haven't told anybody this, 371 00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:08,429 but I got a new friend, Nick. 372 00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,213 He's Hailey's dad. 373 00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:12,694 She stopped believing and he needed me, 374 00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,957 so I'm Nick's friend now. 375 00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:17,742 - You're telling me you jumped friends? 376 00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:22,095 [laughing] 377 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:25,098 Sweetie, I know you're going through a hard time, 378 00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,187 but what you're saying is shiznuts. 379 00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,536 Your friend's your friend. 380 00:15:28,579 --> 00:15:31,017 When your friend stops believing, you disappear. 381 00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:33,280 We don't change friends. 382 00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:37,110 I mean, if we could do that, are we even imaginary? 383 00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:39,503 - Oh, I'm imaginary, all right. 384 00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:42,115 I'm an imaginary lemon. 385 00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:43,638 I can't help anybody. 386 00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,466 - Okay, Happy? 387 00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:47,642 You're killing my buzz. 388 00:15:47,685 --> 00:15:50,645 [stirring music] 389 00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:53,561 ♪ 390 00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:56,781 What happened to that badass bucking bronco 391 00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:59,001 who rallied the troops and took down 392 00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,655 Psycho Santa Claus? 393 00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:03,571 - I--I did do that, didn't I? 394 00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:05,312 - Hell yeah, you did. 395 00:16:05,355 --> 00:16:08,489 When you said "pick on someone your own size," 396 00:16:08,532 --> 00:16:11,535 you could have wrung out my panties with a mop bucket. 397 00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:14,103 It's time to forget about your friends-- 398 00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:18,151 all of them-- before they forget about you. 399 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:21,197 So, you ever done it before? 400 00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:22,503 - "It"? - Yeah. 401 00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:24,331 You know, it-- 402 00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:26,333 with a girl. - Oh! 403 00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,291 [clears throat] It. 404 00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:29,684 [stammering] Yeah, it. 405 00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,686 Totally. Oh, tons of times. 406 00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:36,125 I'm really good at it. 407 00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:38,040 - Oh, boy. 408 00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:41,043 Don't worry, Happy, I got this. 409 00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:46,918 [party horns blowing] all: ♪ Happy birthday... 410 00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:51,010 - Um, so I, um-- 411 00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:52,489 I--I kinda got held up. 412 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:53,708 - Huh? 413 00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:56,015 - But, um... 414 00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:58,974 I know what day it was. 415 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,063 - It's okay. - No, it's not. 416 00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:04,936 You know, I-- 'cause I meant to... 417 00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,851 with the balloons... 418 00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:10,246 eating, uh, the sugary... 419 00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,857 with the clowns holding farm animals, 420 00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:14,163 little favor things. 421 00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:16,165 - Are you trying to describe a birthday party? 422 00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:19,516 - Yeah, the point-- the point is, um... 423 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,084 [mellow rock music playing over speakers] 424 00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:25,827 It--it was our first birthday, 425 00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,873 you know, as father-daughter, and, um... 426 00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:31,746 ♪ 427 00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:35,097 It was important. 428 00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,273 I'm sorry. 429 00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,275 ♪ 430 00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,886 - 24 hour rule. 431 00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:44,063 We can do something today. 432 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,674 ♪ 433 00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:48,589 You can't. - No, I'd love to. 434 00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:49,894 I'd love to. 435 00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:51,287 I--I--there's just this thing that I gotta-- 436 00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:54,073 all: Birthday! - Oh, thank Christ. 437 00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:56,118 all: ♪ Birthdays are lovely and birthdays are sweet ♪ 438 00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:58,903 ♪ So thanks for choosing us and choosing our treats ♪ 439 00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:01,210 - Where you going? - Bathroom. 440 00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:02,820 - You need help? 441 00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,648 all: ♪ World-famous Zoodle Cake for $13.99! ♪ 442 00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:05,693 - No way! - Yes way! 443 00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:07,695 - Hooray! all: Birthday! 444 00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:09,305 ♪ So thanks for choosing us and ♪ 445 00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:11,699 [all trail off] 446 00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:14,702 [Bryan Ferry's "Slave to Love" over speakers] 447 00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:17,357 ♪ 448 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:21,012 [lighter flicking] 449 00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,363 - Trouble getting it up? 450 00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:28,150 ♪ 451 00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,934 - I am so happy right now. 452 00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:32,633 No, really, I was afraid that you was dead. 453 00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:34,113 I mean, getting shot in the face 454 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:36,245 is not exactly a night out at Studio 54-- 455 00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:38,204 not to mention the ever-present risk 456 00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:39,596 of a catheter infection. 457 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,859 For a guy like you, 458 00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:45,602 the possibilities are endless. 459 00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:48,127 And then... 460 00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,259 I wouldn't be able-- - To kill me yourself, yes. 461 00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:52,870 - Yeah. - Very sweet-- 462 00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:56,091 as sweet as that ripe, red little cherry. 463 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:59,747 How's life since I took yours? 464 00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,966 - I'm walking a bit more like John Wayne because of you, 465 00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,665 but, eh, I've been worse. 466 00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:07,624 Yourself? 467 00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:10,149 [gasps] Whoa! 468 00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:13,891 - Yeah, life has been, um, interesting 469 00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:15,197 since our last tango. 470 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,720 - All right, you're already boring me. 471 00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:19,114 Maybe you're feeling suicidal coming here. 472 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,985 Maybe you think that I don't dare fuck you up 473 00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:23,423 in the middle of Greaser Gary's Shit and Biscuit Roadhouse. 474 00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:27,992 Either way, this... 475 00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:31,082 is not gonna end well for you. 476 00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:33,215 - Don't cause a scene, Sax. - [grunts] 477 00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:35,391 - Think of all the children-- 478 00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,132 especially yours. 479 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,135 [sinister music] 480 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,963 - The only thing I'm thinking about now 481 00:19:42,006 --> 00:19:43,660 is how I'm gonna rip out your piss tube 482 00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:46,141 and shove it into your good eye until I hit brain. 483 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,925 - It's fascinating. 484 00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:51,015 When we first met, you had nothing to lose, 485 00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:53,235 nothing to live for but that next drink, 486 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,410 next blackout. 487 00:19:54,454 --> 00:19:56,717 It gave you a kind of invulnerability. 488 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,067 But now... 489 00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:00,808 don't you see? 490 00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,723 [bottle squelches] 491 00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:05,204 Daddy can't be naughty. 492 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:06,901 Imagine she comes out of the bathroom 493 00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:09,208 and sees papa dragged off to prison. 494 00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:12,036 And just when you came back into her life. 495 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,777 [scoffs] 496 00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:17,868 She's a complicated little thing, that Hailey. 497 00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:19,218 - Say her name again. 498 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:21,872 - I am so glad that she and I had the chance 499 00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:24,266 to get to know each other over the holidays. 500 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,399 - I know you think you're a real sick fuck, 501 00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:30,054 but trust me. 502 00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:32,361 You're a goddamn amateur compared to what goes on 503 00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:34,972 on top of this skull right here. 504 00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:37,192 Now, you're not half capable of understanding 505 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,282 what the fuck I would do to you if you ever touched that child. 506 00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:42,284 - Don't insult me. 507 00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:44,243 I can assure you I have no intention 508 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,462 of touching your daughter. 509 00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:48,508 What I have in mind for you 510 00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:51,162 is on a completely different level of fuckery. 511 00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,730 You truly have no idea. 512 00:20:53,774 --> 00:20:57,038 It almost makes me feel... 513 00:20:57,081 --> 00:21:00,868 well, no. 514 00:21:00,911 --> 00:21:03,131 But she has been in there a long time, hasn't she? 515 00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:06,090 I hope she's okay. 516 00:21:06,134 --> 00:21:08,397 Make a wish. 517 00:21:08,441 --> 00:21:10,486 ♪ 518 00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:13,272 - [grunts] - Oh, my God, Dad! 519 00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:14,360 - Washing your hands, that's good. 520 00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:15,274 There are a lot of germs everywhere. 521 00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:17,885 I'll let you finish up. 522 00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:20,279 ["Slave to Love" continues over speakers] 523 00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:24,021 - ♪ And the spring is turning ♪ 524 00:21:24,065 --> 00:21:25,936 - Grab your shit. We're going to Grandma's. 525 00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:28,243 - Grandma's dead. - [sighs] 526 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,376 Not that grandma. 527 00:21:30,419 --> 00:21:33,292 - ♪ I can see your smile all: ♪ Slave to love 528 00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:35,468 - ♪ Na-na-na-na - ♪ Oh! 529 00:21:35,511 --> 00:21:38,471 [funky music] 530 00:21:38,514 --> 00:21:39,994 ♪ 531 00:21:40,037 --> 00:21:41,474 [doorbell buzzes] 532 00:21:41,517 --> 00:21:46,348 ♪ 533 00:21:46,392 --> 00:21:49,177 [door creaks] 534 00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:52,354 - I bought three boxes of Samoas from you last week, 535 00:21:52,398 --> 00:21:54,574 Now what, are you crooks trying to rob my pension? 536 00:21:54,617 --> 00:21:56,315 - Mom, Ma, it's me. 537 00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,534 Nicky. 538 00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,323 - Drawing a blank. 539 00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:07,804 - Don't you recognize your own kid? 540 00:22:07,848 --> 00:22:09,197 - She don't look nothing like me. 541 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,416 - Not her, me. 542 00:22:10,459 --> 00:22:12,461 - Nicky, I'm busting your balls. 543 00:22:12,505 --> 00:22:13,984 I'm fuckin' with you. Come on in. 544 00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:15,377 You look like shit, by the way. 545 00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:18,032 Entrez-vous, kids. 546 00:22:18,075 --> 00:22:19,468 - Um... 547 00:22:19,512 --> 00:22:20,600 [door slams] 548 00:22:20,643 --> 00:22:22,471 Yeah, yeah, I know it's been a while. 549 00:22:22,515 --> 00:22:26,867 - Time flies when we're dodging familial responsibilities. 550 00:22:26,910 --> 00:22:28,521 Who wants a drink? - Eh, no. 551 00:22:28,564 --> 00:22:30,436 I'm--I'm dry-ish. 552 00:22:30,479 --> 00:22:31,611 - One bullshit. How about you? 553 00:22:31,654 --> 00:22:33,264 - Now, Ma, come on. 554 00:22:33,308 --> 00:22:36,050 - What? Virgin. 555 00:22:36,093 --> 00:22:38,052 It's not. - No booze for the kid! 556 00:22:38,095 --> 00:22:40,968 - It's called manners, you ape. 557 00:22:41,011 --> 00:22:44,145 Whatever floats your boat. 558 00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:47,235 Oh, I'm just glad you got back in time. 559 00:22:47,278 --> 00:22:49,368 I got the cancer. 560 00:22:49,411 --> 00:22:51,108 The big "C". 561 00:22:51,152 --> 00:22:53,459 Doctors give me 15, 20 good years left. 562 00:22:53,502 --> 00:22:55,286 - Ah, Christ, Ma. 563 00:22:55,330 --> 00:22:57,898 - It's already left a mark. 564 00:22:57,941 --> 00:22:59,508 - I'm sorry. 565 00:22:59,552 --> 00:23:01,118 - Well, 566 00:23:01,162 --> 00:23:04,252 not as much as he is, kiddo. 567 00:23:04,295 --> 00:23:05,645 Right here. 568 00:23:05,688 --> 00:23:08,212 Right here's where the milky magic used to happen. 569 00:23:08,256 --> 00:23:09,518 - Why are we sharing this? 570 00:23:09,562 --> 00:23:12,913 - It's called conversation, you orangutan. 571 00:23:12,956 --> 00:23:15,263 All right, brass tacks now. 572 00:23:15,306 --> 00:23:17,570 Who's my competition? [snarls] 573 00:23:17,613 --> 00:23:20,355 - Uh, Janet, this is, uh-- 574 00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:24,228 this is your granddaughter, Hailey. 575 00:23:24,272 --> 00:23:26,405 - And she has a name. 576 00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:28,537 Oh, and by the looks of things, she's had it for what? 577 00:23:28,581 --> 00:23:30,234 Nine, ten years? 578 00:23:30,278 --> 00:23:32,541 - 11, just. 579 00:23:32,585 --> 00:23:34,500 - Oh, belated. 580 00:23:34,543 --> 00:23:37,938 - All right, look-- all right, I know it's been 581 00:23:37,981 --> 00:23:39,243 a long time, and--and I know 582 00:23:39,287 --> 00:23:40,506 I should have told you about the kid. 583 00:23:40,549 --> 00:23:42,551 - And the kid about her. - I was gonna get to it! 584 00:23:42,595 --> 00:23:44,292 You know, we had a lot to cover! 585 00:23:44,335 --> 00:23:46,642 But we're here now, right, all together. 586 00:23:46,686 --> 00:23:49,297 And I just thought maybe it'd be a good time 587 00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:50,646 for yous to get to know each other, right? 588 00:23:50,690 --> 00:23:53,040 Bonding time. - "Bonding time"? 589 00:23:53,083 --> 00:23:56,522 - Bonding time. - "Bonding." 590 00:23:56,565 --> 00:23:58,611 I'll bond you with the back of my hand, 591 00:23:58,654 --> 00:24:00,177 you bed-wetting bastard! 592 00:24:00,221 --> 00:24:01,527 Now out with it! - Stay here. 593 00:24:01,570 --> 00:24:04,094 [grunts, sighs] 594 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,272 As I'm sure you're aware, I got a, um, 595 00:24:08,316 --> 00:24:11,145 tendency to attract negative energy to me-- 596 00:24:11,188 --> 00:24:14,975 nothing I can't handle-- but with the kid... 597 00:24:15,018 --> 00:24:18,326 You know, if Hailey's close to me, then she ain't safe. 598 00:24:18,369 --> 00:24:20,197 [muffled] You know? 599 00:24:20,241 --> 00:24:21,590 She needs her Grandma Sax. 600 00:24:21,634 --> 00:24:23,287 - "Grandma"? - Okay, Janet. 601 00:24:23,331 --> 00:24:25,942 But I just need someone I can trust who can-- 602 00:24:25,986 --> 00:24:28,162 - All right, don't get your tighties in a tizzy. 603 00:24:28,205 --> 00:24:29,598 I've been taking care of things 604 00:24:29,642 --> 00:24:31,295 since before your butthole turned brown. 605 00:24:31,339 --> 00:24:33,254 I'll take care of her now. 606 00:24:33,297 --> 00:24:35,474 I'll watch the kid. 607 00:24:35,517 --> 00:24:38,477 [soft dramatic music] 608 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,304 ♪ 609 00:24:40,348 --> 00:24:42,219 - [sighs] 610 00:24:42,263 --> 00:24:44,091 [clicks tongue] 611 00:24:44,134 --> 00:24:45,614 - Let me guess. You gotta go. 612 00:24:45,658 --> 00:24:46,963 - There's only one thing I want, 613 00:24:47,007 --> 00:24:48,182 and that's for you to be safe. 614 00:24:48,225 --> 00:24:50,010 And that's why I gotta do what I gotta do. 615 00:24:50,053 --> 00:24:52,099 - Sure. Go. 616 00:24:52,142 --> 00:24:54,318 ♪ 617 00:24:54,362 --> 00:24:56,059 - You're gonna be okay here. You know that, right? 618 00:24:56,103 --> 00:24:57,496 I'm gonna come back for you. 619 00:24:57,539 --> 00:25:00,150 - Yep. 620 00:25:00,194 --> 00:25:02,762 - Okay. 621 00:25:02,805 --> 00:25:05,286 Try to keep her away from the goddamn moonshine. 622 00:25:05,329 --> 00:25:08,507 I mean, that shit will just knock a horse on its ass. 623 00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:11,422 [door opens, closes] 624 00:25:11,466 --> 00:25:14,730 - You just need to relax. 625 00:25:14,774 --> 00:25:17,037 - Okay... [goofy whinny] 626 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:18,429 Those come off? 627 00:25:18,473 --> 00:25:22,172 - They're not the only things that can come off. 628 00:25:22,216 --> 00:25:25,654 - ♪ Uh, touch me 629 00:25:25,698 --> 00:25:28,222 ♪ I wanna feel your body 630 00:25:28,265 --> 00:25:31,225 ♪ Ooh 631 00:25:31,268 --> 00:25:34,228 [Samantha Fox's "Touch Me" playing over boom box] 632 00:25:34,271 --> 00:25:36,491 - [grunts] 633 00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:38,711 - ♪ This is the night - ♪ Touch me 634 00:25:38,754 --> 00:25:42,192 ♪ Touch me, I want to feel your body ♪ 635 00:25:42,236 --> 00:25:46,675 ♪ Your heartbeat next to mine ♪ 636 00:25:46,719 --> 00:25:49,199 - ♪ This is the night - ♪ 'Cause I want your body 637 00:25:49,243 --> 00:25:51,071 [exclaiming softly] 638 00:25:51,114 --> 00:25:54,204 - ♪ All the time 639 00:25:54,248 --> 00:25:57,730 - Well, that's something I've never seen before. 640 00:25:57,773 --> 00:26:01,211 Do you think it'll taste like bananas now? 641 00:26:01,255 --> 00:26:02,604 - I don't know. 642 00:26:02,648 --> 00:26:04,606 - Haven't you ever tasted your own horn before? 643 00:26:04,650 --> 00:26:07,087 - Well, I'm not really built that way. 644 00:26:07,130 --> 00:26:08,392 Plus, if I could, 645 00:26:08,436 --> 00:26:10,220 I don't think I'd ever leave the house. 646 00:26:10,264 --> 00:26:12,222 I love bananas. 647 00:26:12,266 --> 00:26:14,398 - All right, enough talk. 648 00:26:14,442 --> 00:26:15,748 Here it comes. 649 00:26:15,791 --> 00:26:17,793 Here comes the fun. 650 00:26:17,837 --> 00:26:20,230 - ♪ Touch me 651 00:26:20,274 --> 00:26:23,407 - Are you ready? - [gulps] 652 00:26:26,715 --> 00:26:28,674 - So then he grabbed the gun and shot Santa Claus 653 00:26:28,717 --> 00:26:30,110 right between the eyes. 654 00:26:30,153 --> 00:26:31,851 [liquid pouring] 655 00:26:31,894 --> 00:26:34,331 And that's how I met my dad. 656 00:26:34,375 --> 00:26:36,856 - Much better story than how I met my dad. 657 00:26:36,899 --> 00:26:38,292 - How? - [grunts] 658 00:26:38,335 --> 00:26:39,815 At his funeral. 659 00:26:39,859 --> 00:26:42,557 I, uh--ah, there you are. 660 00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:44,211 [spits] 661 00:26:44,254 --> 00:26:47,649 Ah, bless you, child. 662 00:26:47,693 --> 00:26:49,085 - Is this my dad? - Mm-hmm. 663 00:26:49,129 --> 00:26:50,739 Yeah, eighth grade. 664 00:26:50,783 --> 00:26:52,785 That picture speaks a thousand words, 665 00:26:52,828 --> 00:26:54,656 most of them not for publication. 666 00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:56,789 Nicky was the soft one-- runt of the litter. 667 00:26:56,832 --> 00:27:00,053 Everyone thought he was special, 668 00:27:00,096 --> 00:27:01,924 so much so we thought about taking him out to the woods 669 00:27:01,968 --> 00:27:05,319 and just setting him free. 670 00:27:05,362 --> 00:27:07,321 I'm joking. 671 00:27:07,364 --> 00:27:10,019 Honey, freshen. 672 00:27:10,063 --> 00:27:14,067 So, you are a Sax, hmm? 673 00:27:14,110 --> 00:27:17,287 [spits] From Saxi, in the Nordic. 674 00:27:17,331 --> 00:27:19,072 That's Scandinavian. 675 00:27:19,115 --> 00:27:21,901 In fact, that's where we get the Sax family crest-- 676 00:27:21,944 --> 00:27:25,121 two gnomes crossing their itty bitty daggers 677 00:27:25,165 --> 00:27:28,081 beneath a flag that reads... 678 00:27:28,124 --> 00:27:30,083 "Size don't matter." 679 00:27:30,126 --> 00:27:32,302 [funky music] 680 00:27:32,346 --> 00:27:34,043 You know, us Sax's, sometimes, 681 00:27:34,087 --> 00:27:36,219 we get the short end of the stick. 682 00:27:36,263 --> 00:27:38,308 But we fight back, always. 683 00:27:38,352 --> 00:27:40,093 And so what about you, child? 684 00:27:40,136 --> 00:27:41,877 Any fight in you? 685 00:27:41,921 --> 00:27:45,098 - When I have to, but it's hard when you're little. 686 00:27:45,141 --> 00:27:47,970 - That's when you fight dirty. 687 00:27:48,014 --> 00:27:50,756 That's the first thing I taught your father. 688 00:27:50,799 --> 00:27:52,975 The bigger they are, 689 00:27:53,019 --> 00:27:55,238 the more it hurts below the belt. 690 00:27:55,282 --> 00:27:57,414 ♪ 691 00:27:57,458 --> 00:28:01,418 Tricky Dick Nixon, that is a good cocktail, child. 692 00:28:01,462 --> 00:28:03,682 Don't touch. 693 00:28:03,725 --> 00:28:05,988 [sighs] 694 00:28:06,032 --> 00:28:08,687 - Good afternoon. I'm Julie. 695 00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:10,950 May I call you Amanda? 696 00:28:10,993 --> 00:28:13,953 Your blood pressure's great. Your weight's great. 697 00:28:13,996 --> 00:28:16,390 Your temp is 98.6 on the dot. 698 00:28:16,433 --> 00:28:18,087 Any pain? - Nope. 699 00:28:18,131 --> 00:28:19,393 - Spotting? - Nope. 700 00:28:19,436 --> 00:28:22,178 - How about change in mood? Any depression? 701 00:28:22,222 --> 00:28:24,137 - I don't want to talk about it, Julie. 702 00:28:24,180 --> 00:28:27,009 - Aww, well, a little bit of moodiness is to be expected 703 00:28:27,053 --> 00:28:30,796 with the change in hormones. 704 00:28:30,839 --> 00:28:33,799 - You're saying-- - The test came back positive. 705 00:28:33,842 --> 00:28:35,365 - That's not possible. 706 00:28:35,409 --> 00:28:37,933 - Oh, some of life's greatest blessings aren't planned. 707 00:28:37,977 --> 00:28:38,978 - What are my options? 708 00:28:39,021 --> 00:28:40,370 - You can see the child to term 709 00:28:40,414 --> 00:28:42,329 and then choose to either keep him or her, 710 00:28:42,372 --> 00:28:45,680 or you can give them up for adoption. 711 00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:48,117 - And my third option? 712 00:28:48,161 --> 00:28:51,294 - Oh, you mean murder? 713 00:28:51,338 --> 00:28:53,340 [laughs] 714 00:28:53,383 --> 00:28:55,168 [peaceful music] 715 00:28:55,211 --> 00:28:56,604 - I'm sorry? 716 00:28:56,647 --> 00:28:59,041 - You are going to have a beautiful child of God, 717 00:28:59,085 --> 00:29:01,870 and hopefully he or she looks just like you. 718 00:29:01,914 --> 00:29:05,352 So beautiful. - I'm not having it. 719 00:29:05,395 --> 00:29:08,834 - I think it's wise that you understand the facts. 720 00:29:08,877 --> 00:29:11,184 Cervical cancer spikes post-abortion. 721 00:29:11,227 --> 00:29:14,361 You have an 87% chance of becoming sterile, 722 00:29:14,404 --> 00:29:17,364 and often, we are unable to remove all the baby's limbs 723 00:29:17,407 --> 00:29:18,800 and digits from the womb. 724 00:29:18,844 --> 00:29:19,932 - What? 725 00:29:19,975 --> 00:29:22,804 - They kind of just float around... 726 00:29:22,848 --> 00:29:24,240 causing all sorts of medical issues, 727 00:29:24,284 --> 00:29:25,938 as you can imagine. 728 00:29:25,981 --> 00:29:28,070 - What the hell kind of women's health clinic is this? 729 00:29:28,114 --> 00:29:30,029 - The kind that can save your soul. 730 00:29:30,072 --> 00:29:31,160 - Okay. 731 00:29:31,204 --> 00:29:33,032 - You have an 11-year-old daughter? 732 00:29:33,075 --> 00:29:34,860 How would she feel about 733 00:29:34,903 --> 00:29:36,862 you killing her little brother or sister? 734 00:29:36,905 --> 00:29:39,516 - Fuck you, Julie. 735 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,519 [sinister music] 736 00:29:42,563 --> 00:29:46,436 ♪ 737 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,917 [no audible dialogue] 738 00:29:48,961 --> 00:29:56,011 ♪ 739 00:29:57,447 --> 00:30:00,886 [intermittent static] 740 00:30:01,495 --> 00:30:08,545 ♪ 741 00:30:10,896 --> 00:30:13,812 [revelatory music] 742 00:30:13,855 --> 00:30:16,249 - [snoring softly] 743 00:30:16,292 --> 00:30:18,817 [phone vibrating] 744 00:30:18,860 --> 00:30:21,820 [devious music] 745 00:30:21,863 --> 00:30:28,827 ♪ 746 00:30:28,870 --> 00:30:31,830 [continues snoring softly] 747 00:30:31,873 --> 00:30:38,880 ♪ 748 00:30:39,576 --> 00:30:40,882 [door opens] 749 00:30:40,926 --> 00:30:42,797 [man screaming] 750 00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:45,452 - Holy shit. 751 00:30:45,495 --> 00:30:48,107 [door slams] 752 00:30:50,936 --> 00:30:53,939 - [splutters] You need to work on your aim! 753 00:30:53,982 --> 00:30:55,549 - What? - Smoothie! 754 00:30:55,592 --> 00:30:57,203 He's alive--one eye down, 755 00:30:57,246 --> 00:31:01,076 but still with the same sparkling personality. 756 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,949 What is-- what is that? 757 00:31:03,992 --> 00:31:05,080 - Sax-- - You knew. 758 00:31:05,124 --> 00:31:07,953 You knew? - I saw him at Shine Tower. 759 00:31:07,996 --> 00:31:10,172 You know, when we were--I don't think he realized it was me. 760 00:31:10,216 --> 00:31:11,347 I was gonna tell you-- 761 00:31:11,391 --> 00:31:12,958 - I'm gonna tear your head off right now. 762 00:31:13,001 --> 00:31:14,176 - Yeah, tough guy? What's stopping you? 763 00:31:14,220 --> 00:31:16,222 - "You were right" is what's stopping me. 764 00:31:16,265 --> 00:31:17,876 We should have gone after this son of a bitch 765 00:31:17,919 --> 00:31:18,964 a long time ago. 766 00:31:19,007 --> 00:31:20,139 - The Kap tape-- you have to see this. 767 00:31:20,182 --> 00:31:22,141 - Oh, this? 768 00:31:22,184 --> 00:31:23,620 - Hell, Sax! 769 00:31:23,664 --> 00:31:26,188 We could flip him. We can get him to testify. 770 00:31:26,232 --> 00:31:28,147 You get your revenge. I get my badge back. 771 00:31:28,190 --> 00:31:31,106 - Oh, shove your badge up your vadge. 772 00:31:31,150 --> 00:31:33,630 They're all in this together. 773 00:31:33,674 --> 00:31:35,632 I should have seen it. 774 00:31:35,676 --> 00:31:38,505 I take out Shine, and from him, I get to Smoothie. 775 00:31:38,548 --> 00:31:41,334 If Le Dic can get me anywhere near that sequined clown, 776 00:31:41,377 --> 00:31:43,466 then we take him out. 777 00:31:43,510 --> 00:31:46,165 We finish this--my way. 778 00:31:46,208 --> 00:31:47,340 - I know what you're feeling right now-- 779 00:31:47,383 --> 00:31:48,558 - Do you? - But you have to take 780 00:31:48,602 --> 00:31:50,343 a step back and take a breath. 781 00:31:50,386 --> 00:31:51,518 You could be walking into a trap. 782 00:31:51,561 --> 00:31:53,433 - Mer, you invited me into this pool. 783 00:31:53,476 --> 00:31:56,349 Well, here the fuck I am, weenie bikini and all. 784 00:31:56,392 --> 00:31:58,960 Where are you? - Not in that pool. 785 00:31:59,004 --> 00:32:00,657 The one thing I've learned 786 00:32:00,701 --> 00:32:03,008 is you can't underestimate Shine. 787 00:32:03,051 --> 00:32:06,489 [tense music] 788 00:32:06,533 --> 00:32:09,188 - I've been out there, Mer. 789 00:32:09,231 --> 00:32:11,538 Driving a cab, taking my little kid to school-- 790 00:32:11,581 --> 00:32:14,236 just living a normal life 791 00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:17,109 like any other average chump. 792 00:32:17,152 --> 00:32:18,893 I've been a sitting duck. 793 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:22,157 He could have after me anytime he wanted... 794 00:32:22,201 --> 00:32:24,986 [sighs] But he didn't. 795 00:32:25,030 --> 00:32:27,249 Now, maybe he thought that I wasn't a threat. 796 00:32:27,293 --> 00:32:29,164 Maybe he thought that there's no way I could touch him, 797 00:32:29,208 --> 00:32:32,994 so maybe, just maybe, Mer... 798 00:32:33,038 --> 00:32:35,388 ♪ 799 00:32:35,431 --> 00:32:39,087 Maybe he underestimated me. 800 00:32:39,131 --> 00:32:42,047 [muffled bang] 801 00:32:42,090 --> 00:32:44,092 [muffled bang] 802 00:32:44,136 --> 00:32:46,268 [mellow music] 803 00:32:46,312 --> 00:32:48,314 - They make you look so grown up. 804 00:32:48,357 --> 00:32:50,229 Do they still hurt? 805 00:32:50,272 --> 00:32:52,100 - Not as bad as I thought. 806 00:32:52,144 --> 00:32:55,234 - Well, a little pain never hurt anyone. 807 00:32:55,277 --> 00:32:58,106 I like them. - My mom's gonna kill me. 808 00:32:58,150 --> 00:33:01,153 ♪ 809 00:33:01,196 --> 00:33:04,460 - Parents always tell you that you're too young for things, 810 00:33:04,504 --> 00:33:07,507 but no matter how desperately they try, 811 00:33:07,550 --> 00:33:11,424 they can't stop you from growing up. 812 00:33:11,467 --> 00:33:14,035 Where were you when I texted? 813 00:33:14,079 --> 00:33:16,342 - I thought you knew everything. 814 00:33:16,385 --> 00:33:19,084 ♪ 815 00:33:19,127 --> 00:33:21,173 - Dropped off again 816 00:33:21,216 --> 00:33:24,437 from relative to relative. 817 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,613 Sometimes it feels like no one wants you. 818 00:33:26,656 --> 00:33:28,180 I know how that is. 819 00:33:28,223 --> 00:33:30,008 - You don't know anything about me. 820 00:33:30,051 --> 00:33:33,185 - We have more in common than you might think. 821 00:33:33,228 --> 00:33:36,623 ♪ 822 00:33:36,666 --> 00:33:38,233 [chuckles] It wasn't long ago 823 00:33:38,277 --> 00:33:40,105 that you were one of those children. 824 00:33:40,148 --> 00:33:42,585 What was it? "Not one wish..." 825 00:33:42,629 --> 00:33:44,457 - Not just two wishes! 826 00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:48,461 - "But three wishes." 827 00:33:48,504 --> 00:33:50,767 - They never came true, did they? 828 00:33:50,811 --> 00:33:54,249 - Mine did. I wanted to meet my dad. 829 00:33:54,293 --> 00:33:57,339 - That's so sweet. [chuckles] 830 00:33:57,383 --> 00:33:59,472 But was he everything you wished for? 831 00:33:59,515 --> 00:34:04,042 ♪ 832 00:34:04,085 --> 00:34:06,783 - I can never be like that anymore, can I? 833 00:34:06,827 --> 00:34:09,656 - No, you can never be naive again. 834 00:34:09,699 --> 00:34:12,137 No longer a child, a victim, 835 00:34:12,180 --> 00:34:14,617 like a little lamb, eyes to the clouds, 836 00:34:14,661 --> 00:34:16,445 led singing to the slaughterhouse. 837 00:34:16,489 --> 00:34:18,360 You have seen so much. 838 00:34:18,404 --> 00:34:20,188 - You could be little forever. 839 00:34:20,232 --> 00:34:23,278 - Your perception has sharpened. 840 00:34:23,322 --> 00:34:26,151 You can see things they can't see. 841 00:34:26,194 --> 00:34:29,632 The truth behind the artifice. 842 00:34:29,676 --> 00:34:34,072 Now all you have to do is... 843 00:34:34,115 --> 00:34:35,682 look. 844 00:34:35,725 --> 00:34:38,685 [sinister music] 845 00:34:38,728 --> 00:34:45,126 ♪ 846 00:34:45,170 --> 00:34:46,432 [radical rock music] 847 00:34:46,475 --> 00:34:51,437 - [drawn-out] Why are you buzzing? 848 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:55,528 - [drawn-out] I don't know! 849 00:34:55,571 --> 00:34:57,704 ♪ 850 00:34:57,747 --> 00:35:00,837 [horn vibrating] 851 00:35:00,881 --> 00:35:03,275 - [hollers] 852 00:35:03,318 --> 00:35:05,581 ♪ 853 00:35:05,625 --> 00:35:07,801 Phew. 854 00:35:07,844 --> 00:35:09,542 - [panting] 855 00:35:09,585 --> 00:35:12,762 - Well, it doesn't get much weirder than that. 856 00:35:12,806 --> 00:35:15,200 [goo squelching] 857 00:35:18,159 --> 00:35:23,208 - ♪ I'm always chasing rainbows ♪ 858 00:35:23,251 --> 00:35:28,038 ♪ Watching the clouds passing by ♪ 859 00:35:28,082 --> 00:35:31,172 ♪ My schemes are just like 860 00:35:31,216 --> 00:35:34,132 ♪ All my dreams 861 00:35:34,175 --> 00:35:37,091 ♪ Ending in the sky 862 00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:39,876 ♪ Some fellows 863 00:35:41,922 --> 00:35:44,272 You know, it's happening tonight. 864 00:35:44,316 --> 00:35:46,622 [tense music] 865 00:35:46,666 --> 00:35:49,538 My smart, splendid lads, 866 00:35:49,582 --> 00:35:51,279 I think there's a very good chance 867 00:35:51,323 --> 00:35:54,326 that you'll both be alive to see the sunny, 868 00:35:54,369 --> 00:35:56,893 sunny light of day. 869 00:35:56,937 --> 00:36:00,158 - What the hell? 870 00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:02,160 - [grunts] 871 00:36:02,203 --> 00:36:04,945 [muffled shouting] 872 00:36:04,988 --> 00:36:07,208 - [groans] 873 00:36:07,252 --> 00:36:09,776 - [hollering] 874 00:36:09,819 --> 00:36:12,561 [stammering, hollering] - Let me out! 875 00:36:12,605 --> 00:36:14,824 [dramatic music] 876 00:36:14,868 --> 00:36:17,218 - [grunts, hollers] 877 00:36:17,262 --> 00:36:20,090 [grunting] Pink! 878 00:36:20,134 --> 00:36:22,876 [alarm wailing] 879 00:36:22,919 --> 00:36:25,008 ♪ 880 00:36:25,052 --> 00:36:27,837 - [grunts] - [hollers] 881 00:36:27,881 --> 00:36:34,844 ♪ 882 00:36:34,888 --> 00:36:38,326 [hollers] 883 00:36:38,370 --> 00:36:41,068 - I'm sorry. 884 00:36:41,111 --> 00:36:44,985 - Pink, I'm scared. 885 00:36:45,028 --> 00:36:48,162 - I love you. 886 00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:51,209 [both hollering] 887 00:36:55,735 --> 00:36:56,997 [mellow music] 888 00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,304 - Wow, what was that? 889 00:36:59,347 --> 00:37:00,783 - I dunno, 890 00:37:00,827 --> 00:37:03,264 but I'd order it again on a Sunday. 891 00:37:03,308 --> 00:37:09,879 ♪ 892 00:37:09,923 --> 00:37:11,185 What? 893 00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:13,927 Nothing, it's just-- 894 00:37:13,970 --> 00:37:15,276 you're so pretty. 895 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:18,627 - [giggles] 896 00:37:18,671 --> 00:37:20,934 - Oh, no, no thanks. I don't smoke. 897 00:37:20,977 --> 00:37:23,241 But I do spoon. 898 00:37:23,284 --> 00:37:25,199 ♪ 899 00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:26,896 - This is nice. 900 00:37:26,940 --> 00:37:28,811 Most guys just want to fork. 901 00:37:28,855 --> 00:37:31,292 - You know, you can stay for a while-- 902 00:37:31,336 --> 00:37:32,424 like--like all night. 903 00:37:32,467 --> 00:37:33,990 I--I mean, if you want. 904 00:37:34,034 --> 00:37:35,905 - You want me to stay all night? 905 00:37:35,949 --> 00:37:37,255 - Sure! 906 00:37:37,298 --> 00:37:39,692 Oh, we--we could have chocolate chip pancakes 907 00:37:39,735 --> 00:37:42,172 in the morning, like at a sleepover. 908 00:37:42,216 --> 00:37:45,263 - Well, I do love pancakes. 909 00:37:45,306 --> 00:37:48,875 But won't your friend be wondering where you are? 910 00:37:48,918 --> 00:37:50,920 - Oh, who cares about him? 911 00:37:50,964 --> 00:37:54,359 He's probably somewhere dumb and boring. 912 00:37:54,402 --> 00:37:57,840 [yawning] Doing dumb... 913 00:37:57,884 --> 00:37:59,320 boring stuff. 914 00:37:59,364 --> 00:38:02,323 [heavy electropop music] 915 00:38:02,367 --> 00:38:05,326 [muffled moaning] 916 00:38:05,370 --> 00:38:12,377 ♪ 917 00:38:42,798 --> 00:38:49,849 ♪ 918 00:39:00,076 --> 00:39:02,470 - Amanda? 919 00:39:02,514 --> 00:39:04,907 - Nick. 920 00:39:04,951 --> 00:39:12,001 ♪