WEBVTT 1 00:00:04,265 --> 00:00:04,482 . 2 00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:06,615 - Hey, what's up? I came as fast as I could. 3 00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:07,964 - Title of your sex tape. Nailed it. 4 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,053 So have you ever heard of a guy named Bruno Rojas? 5 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:11,576 - Yeah, big guy in the Colombian cartel, right? 6 00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:13,491 - He was, until he got shot in the chest yesterday 7 00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:14,971 by his top lieutenant. 8 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,625 Apparently, the bullet went straight through his nipple. 9 00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:18,061 - Whoa. Nature's bull's-eye. 10 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,454 - Oh, my God, I love the way your brain works. 11 00:00:19,497 --> 00:00:21,456 Anyway, he's in a coma now, and Captain Holt thinks 12 00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:23,501 if I'm here when he wakes up, I can get him to talk. 13 00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:25,547 - So what'd you call me for? - Because I need a partner. 14 00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:27,810 - What about them? - Oh, we're not here for work. 15 00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:29,942 I brought Scully in because he needs some medical tests. 16 00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:31,509 - Yeah, I'm here all the time. 17 00:00:31,553 --> 00:00:33,163 I'm kind of the mayor of this place. 18 00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:35,426 Cheryl, baby, you got a fresh bag for me? 19 00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,037 - Saving you the biggest one, Scully. 20 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,081 - You're too good to me. 21 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,822 Anyway, I'll see you guys around. 22 00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:42,259 Dan, Dan, the enema man. [laughs] 23 00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,653 - Well, guess it's kind of nice to see Scully in his element. 24 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:45,784 - Whoo! 25 00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:47,047 - Jake, I can't stay here with you. 26 00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:48,700 I have so much on my plate at work. 27 00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,006 - Yeah, so do I. 28 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,877 I mean, I've been pulling double shifts nonstop, 29 00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:54,750 but we haven't really gotten to hang out in almost a month. 30 00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:56,099 Our anniversary is coming up, 31 00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:57,448 and we don't even have anything planned. 32 00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:59,363 - I know, but we talked about this. 33 00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:01,365 We're gonna take a trip as soon as we have time. 34 00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:02,888 I promise. - Just like you promised 35 00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:04,281 we would see the "Bumblebee" movie? 36 00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:06,153 - I didn't promise that. I believe what I said was, 37 00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:07,241 "Isn't that a kids' movie?" 38 00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:09,156 - Yeah, and I believe what I said was, 39 00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:11,636 "It's for teens." [snorting laughter] 40 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,074 Look, I get that you can't take any time off from work, 41 00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:16,380 but this is a loophole. It's still work. 42 00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:18,034 You know, we can hang out here 43 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,514 and chat and catch up and laugh, 44 00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:21,907 and technically, we'll be doing our jobs. 45 00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,736 I call it a "casecation." 46 00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:27,565 ♪ Casecation, all I ever wanted ♪ 47 00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:28,566 - Ooh. 48 00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,307 - ♪ Casecation, had to get away ♪ 49 00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:31,743 - Babe, this is so sweet, 50 00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,963 but do you honestly think that Holt's gonna let me 51 00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:35,878 just hang out here with you indefinitely? 52 00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:37,314 - Yes. Just tell him I need supervision. 53 00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:38,968 I've spent the last six years building up a reputation 54 00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:41,013 as an irresponsible goof for this very moment. 55 00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:43,103 - That is ridiculous. Holt respects you. 56 00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:44,930 - Does he, though? 57 00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:46,410 [phone rings] 58 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:47,933 - Hello, you've reached the office of Raymond Holt. 59 00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:49,370 I can come to the phone right now. 60 00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:51,415 - Hey, sir, I'm just here at the hospital with Jake, 61 00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:52,677 and I think he could use some-- 62 00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:55,941 - Oversight? Agreed. 63 00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,334 - So? - ♪ Casecation 64 00:01:57,378 --> 00:01:59,162 ♪ All I ever wanted 65 00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:02,383 [upbeat music] 66 00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:09,477 ♪ 67 00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,315 - Prepare to be romanced. 68 00:02:21,358 --> 00:02:22,794 Voilà. - [gasps] 69 00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:24,231 - Bienvenue à Paris. 70 00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:26,276 [romantic music playing] - Bonjour, madame. Fromage? 71 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,277 - Don't worry, Charles is leaving 72 00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:28,496 in a second. - I am? 73 00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:29,540 - Yeah, you were just helping me set up. 74 00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:31,325 - Fine. Enjoy your weird anniversary 75 00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:33,892 with just the couple, you selfish jerks. 76 00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:36,286 - Thank you for your help! 77 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:39,550 So what do you think? - I love it. 78 00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:41,378 It's really romantic. - Aww. 79 00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:42,771 - I mean, except for the comatose body 80 00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:43,989 in the middle of the room. 81 00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:45,295 - Oh, yeah, just pretend he's part of Paris. 82 00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:46,470 Imagine we're on a walking tour 83 00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,516 of the Louvre, and he's a statue. 84 00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:50,561 - Oh. - Yeah. Shall we, ma chérie? 85 00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,998 I asked the lady at the store what her favorite cheeses were, 86 00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,478 and those were all super expensive, 87 00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:57,046 so I got us a budget-conscious selection of local cheddars. 88 00:02:57,089 --> 00:03:01,006 - So, a full year of marriage. What was your favorite part? 89 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:03,226 - [gasps] Are you asking me to do a marriage highlight reel 90 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:04,662 countdown à la "NBA Inside Stuff"? 91 00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:06,664 - I mean, that's not exactly what I was-- 92 00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:08,188 - Number five! 93 00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,841 Ahmad Rashad. It's my best impression. 94 00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,234 Number five was the time 95 00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:13,367 that we accidentally got our contact lenses switched. 96 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:14,542 I got to see the world through your eyes. 97 00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:15,978 - But our prescriptions are different, 98 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:17,849 and the world was so blurry. - Yeah, it was crazy. 99 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:18,981 I thought I was having a stroke. 100 00:03:19,024 --> 00:03:20,722 Okay, your turn. - Number four! 101 00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:23,203 - Oh, is an old witch introducing this highlight? 102 00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,291 - That was exactly what you sounded like. 103 00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:25,292 - No. - Yes. 104 00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:26,467 - Agree to disagree. - Fine. 105 00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:28,469 Number four was when we played laser tag 106 00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:30,079 and we shot all those little kids. 107 00:03:30,122 --> 00:03:32,386 - Oh, yeah. We really messed up little Mason's birthday party. 108 00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:33,387 - Mm-hmm. - Deservedly so. 109 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:34,431 He was a jerk. - Ugh. 110 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,650 - Okay, what should number three be? 111 00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:37,173 Ooh, I know. 112 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,436 It was that time we shared an UberPool with Michael Caine. 113 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:40,437 - Oh! 114 00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:43,310 ♪ 115 00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:45,355 [both mouthing words] 116 00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:46,791 - I mean, obviously, Michael Caine 117 00:03:46,835 --> 00:03:48,706 was shooting a movie in London at that time, and also, 118 00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,317 why would Michael Caine be in an UberPool? 119 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,188 - But it was still so cool. - It really was. 120 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,625 We shared a car with Alfred. - We did! 121 00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:55,931 Okay, number two. 122 00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:57,498 This might be my favorite moment 123 00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,891 of our entire time as a couple: January 6th. 124 00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:02,242 - Eddie Redmayne's birthday. - Why do you know that? 125 00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:03,286 - 'Cause he was weird in "Jupiter Ascending." 126 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,809 - Oh, yeah. - I'm just a fan. 127 00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,071 - Yeah, that's not what I'm talking about. 128 00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:07,682 - Okay. 129 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,511 - It was the coldest night of the year, 130 00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:13,122 and you put socks on my feet while I slept. 131 00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:15,080 You never even took credit for it. 132 00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,299 - But now I'm getting credit for that 133 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,996 and for not taking credit. 134 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,563 That's double credit, you fool. 135 00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:21,913 [door opens] - You two are just the cutest. 136 00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:23,915 I can't wait for number one! 137 00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,221 - Oh, it's Ahmad Rashad. 138 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,092 - I'm Pam. I'm from next door. 139 00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:28,920 I was listening to the two of you talk 140 00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:30,182 and just had to get a look. 141 00:04:30,226 --> 00:04:34,012 [gasps] You're both very attractive. 142 00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:37,842 - Aren't they? - Boyle, go home! 143 00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:39,322 - Oh, Pam can stay but not me? 144 00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:40,628 - Yeah, because she's a patient here. 145 00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:42,107 I'm assuming, because of your gown. 146 00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:43,544 - I am. I have a twisted bowel. 147 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:46,677 I have a tube; I have a bag. Do you want to see? 148 00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,331 - Oh, no, no, no. But thank you, Pam. 149 00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:50,377 - Let me know if you smell anything. 150 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,161 I don't even notice it anymore. 151 00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:53,205 - Well, I'm pretty sure 152 00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:54,294 I actually already smell something. 153 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:56,339 - No, you'll know. - Oh. 154 00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:57,775 - Do you two have kids? 155 00:04:57,819 --> 00:05:01,126 Mixed race babies are always so adorable. 156 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:03,346 - Oh, you said words. 157 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,130 - Yeah, we don't have kids yet, 158 00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:06,610 but we're gonna start trying soon. 159 00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:08,612 - I just have the one, my Bobby. 160 00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:12,268 He was such a cute little kid, until he discovered his wiener. 161 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,793 - Pam, there you are. It's time for your IV. 162 00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:18,187 You're playing music in here? You can't do that. 163 00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,623 - Why not, Nurse Janet? 164 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,625 Is it gonna distract the doctors? 165 00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,627 - Yes, that's exactly what it'll do. 166 00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:25,150 - Okay, fine, I'll turn it off immediately. 167 00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,848 [music stops] 168 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,851 - Are we the bad guys here? - Yeah, it seems very likely. 169 00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:31,113 Hey, by the way, 170 00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,114 we don't have to pretend we're undercover here. 171 00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:33,376 The hospital staff knows we're cops. 172 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,551 - Oh, I wasn't setting up cover. 173 00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:35,770 Was I? - Well, just the kids thing. 174 00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:37,162 Saying that we were gonna start trying soon. 175 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:39,469 - Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean right away. 176 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,819 I just meant in the near future. 177 00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:43,821 - Oh. [chuckles] Okay. 178 00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:45,083 Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 179 00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,433 Cool, cool, cool, cool, 180 00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:47,825 except for that there's one little problem there, 181 00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:49,697 which is that I don't know that I totally know 182 00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:53,004 that I for sure want to have kids, 183 00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:54,397 so... 184 00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,486 - You don't? - No. 185 00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:59,054 Do you? - Uh-huh. 186 00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:01,448 - Oh. 187 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:03,493 . 188 00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:04,581 - I don't understand. I thought we were 189 00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:06,278 on the same page about kids. 190 00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:07,758 We talked about this. - We did? 191 00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:10,761 - Aw, look at these pictures my brother sent of Matthew. 192 00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:12,241 - Mm. - We should do this someday. 193 00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,285 What do you think? 194 00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:14,504 - Are you kidding me? Of course. 195 00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:16,158 I was talking about going to the water park. 196 00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:17,812 You were talking about having kids? 197 00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:20,423 - Yeah! I said, "Do you think we can afford it?" 198 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,991 And you said, "We'll start saving right away." 199 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,209 - So let me get this straight. 200 00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:26,081 All that water park money I've been saving, 201 00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:27,474 you want to spend it on kids now? 202 00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,345 - Yeah. Why would you want to spend that much money 203 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,738 on a water park? 204 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,261 - Look, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say here. 205 00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:34,481 I just-- I never wanted children. 206 00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:35,830 - Well, I always have. 207 00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:38,180 - All right, so how do we handle this? 208 00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:40,443 - I mean, there's only one thing to do when two people 209 00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,924 have diametrically opposing views on a subject. 210 00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,273 - Talk about it lovingly and decide how to move forward? 211 00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:46,362 - Structured debate. - Oh. Fun. 212 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,364 - High school format. Modified Lincoln-Douglas. 213 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:51,193 Let's take one hour apart for research and prep. Yeah. 214 00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:53,500 - Great, I'll just do a Lincoln-Douglas. 215 00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:56,372 - I'd be careful if I were you. Relationships are like bowels. 216 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,983 Once you get them twisted, they can never untwist. 217 00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:00,811 - Pam, you're in here again. 218 00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:03,814 [upbeat music] 219 00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:07,557 ♪ 220 00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:10,168 - That's all you prepped? 221 00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,256 - Yeah, I just searched my heart 222 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:12,997 and then wrote down how I was feeling. 223 00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:15,217 - I'm gonna eat you alive, you dumb son of a bitch. 224 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,524 - Cool. And then we'll have kids together? 225 00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:18,829 - Yeah. It's gonna be great. 226 00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:20,135 Okay, the topic today 227 00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:22,050 is whether or not we should have children. 228 00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:23,181 I will be taking the affirmative. 229 00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:24,356 You will be taking the negative. 230 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,010 Each round will be individually scored 231 00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:27,447 by our judge, Captain Holt. 232 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:28,926 - Do you need to hear my credentials? 233 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:32,060 Debate moderator license D as in delta, 8-1-0-- 234 00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:34,018 - I believe you. - Y as in Yankee, 4-1. 235 00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:36,456 J as in Juliet, J as in Juliet, 6. 236 00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:38,196 - Great. - I have a variety of timers. 237 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,850 Do you prefer a buzz or a ding? - Don't care. 238 00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,069 - Ding. - Okay. 239 00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:42,549 Peralta, you can present the first argument 240 00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:43,854 from your, uh... 241 00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,508 [scoffs] Scribbled list of feelings. 242 00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:46,770 - I'll have you know 243 00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:48,468 that I have some data-driven arguments as well. 244 00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:51,775 According to a study I read, people with kids 245 00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:54,125 were less likely to report that they were happy in their lives 246 00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:55,649 than people without kids. 247 00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:58,826 Now, call me crazy, but being happy tends to make me feel, 248 00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,001 uh, pretty happy. 249 00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,089 - Where did you read this study? 250 00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,133 - Well, it wasn't something I read 251 00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:04,484 so much as told about. 252 00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:05,659 - And who told you about it? 253 00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:09,227 - Hitchcock. - Hitchcock? 254 00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,620 - Yeah. - That seems like 255 00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,535 a pretty intellectual thing for him to mention. 256 00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:14,102 What was the context? 257 00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:16,931 - He had invested in a NuvaRing competitor called Vag-a-Plug 258 00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:18,585 and was practicing his sales pitch on me. 259 00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:20,630 - This is your first argument? Your opening statement? 260 00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:21,675 [bell dings] - Point to Amy. 261 00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,111 - All right, fine. Forget the study. 262 00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:24,895 I just don't want to lose what we already have. 263 00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:27,115 - Ask anyone with children and they'll tell you 264 00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:30,205 children bring meaning and love into your life. 265 00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:32,468 Yes, there may be some moments that you lose, 266 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,470 but there will also be new moments. 267 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,906 Take the water park. 268 00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:39,954 I would never go with you, but you know who would? 269 00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:42,217 Your kid. - Point to Amy. 270 00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:43,827 - That's not your call to make, Peralta. 271 00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:45,133 [bell dings] Point to Amy. 272 00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:47,091 - Okay, fine. New subject: work. 273 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,963 We both work way too much. 274 00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:50,094 Why bother having kids 275 00:08:50,138 --> 00:08:51,574 if you never get to spend time with them? 276 00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,968 I mean, I love my job, and I know you love yours, 277 00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:55,012 and I don't think it's fair for either of us 278 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,579 to have to sacrifice that. 279 00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:58,320 - Do you know why I want to become lieutenant so badly? 280 00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:00,017 - To prove your worth to your hyper judgmental parents. 281 00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:01,279 - Yes, obviously that. 282 00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:02,846 But also, the higher your rank, 283 00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,413 the more control over your hours. 284 00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:06,589 Plenty of people have jobs and kids, Jake, 285 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,069 and they find a way. 286 00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:09,592 - This has become more about your employment status. 287 00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:12,421 As your supervisor, I feel I have a conflict of interest 288 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:13,988 and should abstain from judging. 289 00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:15,598 - Okay, so do we both get a point? 290 00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,774 - No. Kevin has been on the phone all this time. 291 00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,820 He's also a licensed debate moderator. 292 00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:22,474 - License number J as in Juliet, 2-5-9... 293 00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:24,259 - This means nothing to me. - H as in hotel. 294 00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,000 Z as in Zulu. - Oh, thank God he stopped. 295 00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:27,305 - 3-6-9. 296 00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:29,177 Point to Amy. - Okay, fine. 297 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:32,789 You want to know why I really don't want to have children? 298 00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,965 I had a crappy dad. 299 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:36,837 I know what happens when you mess up as a parent. 300 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,360 It's not great. 301 00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:41,189 And this may come as a shock to you, but... 302 00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:42,930 I kind of have some dad issues with certain people. 303 00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:44,061 - Holt. - Me. 304 00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:45,541 - Raymond. - Yeah, but not just him. 305 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,065 It's every male authority figure from my entire life. 306 00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:49,850 - Hey, Jake, can you move "Legends of the Fall" 307 00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:50,938 from new releases into drama? 308 00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,026 - You got it, Dad. 309 00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:54,028 Craig was only six weeks older than me. 310 00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,377 - Since this has become about me, 311 00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:57,248 I'm gonna have to abstain from this round as well, 312 00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:58,859 but Kevin is still standing by. 313 00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,512 - Actually, I feel as though your personal relationship 314 00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:02,210 with Peralta affects me too. 315 00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:04,038 Luckily, I had Gail standing by as well. 316 00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:05,648 - [gasps] Oh, my God, you guys know Gail? 317 00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:06,867 - Who's Gail? 318 00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:07,911 - Vice president of the Debaters Club. 319 00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:09,521 - This is a very big deal. 320 00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:10,697 - Do you need to hear my credentials? 321 00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,873 License number U as in uniform, 7-- 322 00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:15,092 - No! No more credentials, please. 323 00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:16,485 I don't want to have a structured debate. 324 00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:18,139 It's an idiotic way to decide something. 325 00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:19,140 - What? - How dare you? 326 00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,445 - Is he insane? 327 00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:21,925 - Raymond, Kevin, I'll be reporting this. 328 00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:23,144 - Okay, look. 329 00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:26,364 Amy, I'm scared, okay? 330 00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:27,888 I'm scared that we're gonna have a child 331 00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:29,193 and I won't be able to handle it, 332 00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:30,717 I'm scared that I'm not gonna be a good father, 333 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,894 and I'm scared that I'll make a mistake I can't take back. 334 00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:36,592 - Jake, I get it. I'm scared too. 335 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,507 - Every other big decision I've made in my life 336 00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:39,639 I was sure about: 337 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,466 becoming a cop, asking you to marry me, 338 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:43,599 buying those Jordan 1s for $500. 339 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,340 - Wait, you spent $500 on sneakers? 340 00:10:45,383 --> 00:10:47,168 - Yeah, they were so cool, and if I had never worn them, 341 00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:48,473 they would have kept their value. 342 00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:50,127 - So they lost their value? - Yes, all of it. 343 00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:51,738 I stepped in a puddle as soon as I left the store. 344 00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:52,913 But this isn't about the Jordans. 345 00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,392 This is about the fact 346 00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:56,830 that I don't want to bring a human being into this world 347 00:10:56,873 --> 00:11:00,660 unless I'm 100% sure that I'm ready to take care of it. 348 00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:02,444 Okay? 349 00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,098 - Too emotional. Point to Amy. 350 00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:05,534 - Okay, Gail is clearly biased. 351 00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:07,101 I think we need a new moderator. 352 00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:08,406 - Bob Templeman here. 353 00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:10,495 - What? How many people are on this phone call? 354 00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:12,715 . 355 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:15,022 - Hey, so Holt went to go smooth things over with Gail. 356 00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:16,066 He thinks we may just have to pay 357 00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:17,415 the Debaters Guild a small fine. 358 00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:19,504 - Cool. And as you can see, Pam is here. 359 00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:20,767 She has some thoughts. 360 00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:22,246 - I was saying to Jake, before Bobby, 361 00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:24,640 I didn't think I wanted to have kids either. 362 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,773 But he's the best thing that ever happened to me. 363 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,731 - Hey, Pam, could you give us a minute? 364 00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:31,038 - Oh, of course. I'm gonna call my friend JoAnn. 365 00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,910 She's been waiting for a big update on all of this. 366 00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:37,087 - Great. 367 00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:39,089 - [sighs] 368 00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:41,613 - I'm sorry. The debate was a bad idea. 369 00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:43,137 I just... 370 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,443 I felt ambushed by the fact that you didn't want kids, 371 00:11:45,487 --> 00:11:47,097 and I thought I could fix it with logic. 372 00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:48,620 - I mean, what if I had won the debate? 373 00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:49,970 - Jake, I'm trying so hard to be nice, 374 00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,493 but I don't know how to respond to that. 375 00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:52,668 - Cold-blooded but fair. - I get it. 376 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,757 You're scared. I can't change that. 377 00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:55,845 - Yeah, but that doesn't mean 378 00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:57,804 I'll never change how I feel about it. 379 00:11:57,847 --> 00:11:59,196 I mean, I used to be scared of sushi, 380 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,502 and now it's my favorite food. 381 00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:02,634 I got tuna sashimi from a pharmacy the other day. 382 00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,288 - You shouldn't have. - Yeah, it was very warm. 383 00:12:04,332 --> 00:12:05,681 I got so sick. 384 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,857 Look, can we just press pause on this conversation? 385 00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:09,772 I mean, let's enjoy our lives for a little bit, 386 00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,469 and then maybe the next time it comes up, 387 00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,689 I'll feel differently, okay? 388 00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:17,780 - No. - What? 389 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,129 - I need an answer from you now. 390 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:20,652 - [chuckles] Like right this minute? 391 00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:22,654 - You can take a day or a week, 392 00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:24,004 or maybe a month. 393 00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:26,833 - That's not a lot of time, Ames. 394 00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:29,052 I mean, that doesn't seem totally fair. 395 00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:30,488 - Well, now you know how I feel. 396 00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:33,100 Women don't have the luxury of waiting till we're 60 397 00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:35,276 and then changing our minds and getting remarried 398 00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:37,626 and having a baby with some dumb 28-year-old. 399 00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:38,714 - Oh, come on. 400 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,020 There's no way I'm gonna be rich enough 401 00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:42,979 that a 28-year-old is gonna want to be with me. 402 00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:44,241 Did that help? 403 00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:45,808 Look, I don't understand what the big deal is. 404 00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:47,505 You're still young. We have plenty of time. 405 00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:49,943 - I know, but I don't want to wait around for two years 406 00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:51,814 and then have you decide you don't want kids, 407 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:54,599 'cause I don't want to start over at 38. 408 00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:57,602 - Start over? 409 00:12:57,646 --> 00:12:58,778 Like, with someone else? 410 00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:02,346 - ♪ Casecation, all I ever wanted ♪ 411 00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:05,262 ♪ Casecation, had to get away 412 00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:06,568 ♪ Casecation 413 00:13:06,611 --> 00:13:08,700 ♪ The vibe in here is really weird ♪ 414 00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:09,832 - I think they're having a fight. 415 00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:11,007 - No, it's not a fight, 416 00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:13,488 it's just a devastatingly sad conversation 417 00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:14,663 about whether or not we should have kids 418 00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:15,969 or just start over, 419 00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:17,797 so you were totally wrong, Rosa. 420 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,059 - What? You got married 421 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,800 without talking about if you want children? 422 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:21,975 - Yeah, and we also got married without discussing 423 00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:23,193 whether or not we like water parks. 424 00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:24,716 A lot of new stuff has come up, okay, Terry? 425 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,327 - Why are you guys here? - A CI came in. 426 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:27,850 There's a lot of chatter that whoever tried to kill Rojas 427 00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:28,851 is coming to finish the job. 428 00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:29,939 - At the hospital? - Yeah. 429 00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,462 Holt wanted extra manpower here. 430 00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,508 - Okay, why don't you two lock down the nurses' station 431 00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:34,857 while Amy and I secure the room? 432 00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,467 - Actually, I'd rather be with Rosa. 433 00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:37,512 - Uh-oh. - Damn, Jake. 434 00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:39,209 - [sighs] Thanks a lot, Sarge. 435 00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:40,080 - You told me to sing! 436 00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:41,559 - Yeah, but what was all this? 437 00:13:41,603 --> 00:13:43,387 - That's just Terry being Terry. 438 00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:44,780 - Okay, from this vantage 439 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,303 we can see the elevator and the stairs. 440 00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:48,566 No one should be able to get to Rojas without us noticing. 441 00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,394 - Cool. - Hey, look, um... 442 00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:52,396 I don't want you to get caught in the middle of this stuff 443 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,397 between me and Jake. 444 00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:54,616 I don't want you to choose sides. 445 00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:56,009 - Already chose. I'm with you. - Really? 446 00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,097 I didn't know you wanted kids. 447 00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:58,272 - I don't know if I'll ever want kids, 448 00:13:58,315 --> 00:13:59,664 but you should have them. They're so cute. 449 00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:01,579 It's [bleep] up. - Aw, it is [bleep] up. 450 00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:02,754 - Anyway, do you want me to talk to Jake? 451 00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:04,495 I'm a pretty good bully. - Thanks, but no. 452 00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:07,107 I've got this covered. I left him alone with Terry. 453 00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:08,673 That guy is a walking advertisement 454 00:14:08,717 --> 00:14:09,979 for the joys of fatherhood. 455 00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:13,069 - Do not do it. - What? 456 00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:14,897 Don't you love your girls? - So much. 457 00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:16,159 You should have seen Cagney this morning 458 00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:18,031 with her little braids in. - Oh. 459 00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:19,946 - But they are a ton of work, man. 460 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,905 If you are not totally, 100% sure you want them, 461 00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:23,906 you won't survive. 462 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,908 - Is it really that hard? - Yes. 463 00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:28,258 I never get any sleep. I'm always sick. 464 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,608 I never get to watch anything I want on TV. 465 00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:32,262 I still haven't finished "Breaking Bad," 466 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:34,090 but I can recite "Moana" from memory? 467 00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:37,180 "Maui, shape-shifter, demigod of the wind and sea. 468 00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:39,791 I am Moana." Why do I know that? 469 00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:41,010 - I don't want to watch kids' movies. 470 00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:42,533 I want to watch movies for adults. 471 00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:43,621 Adults and teens. 472 00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:45,275 - And they are getting so manipulative. 473 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,625 Yesterday, Cagney pretended to be hurt, 474 00:14:47,669 --> 00:14:49,018 I went in to help her, 475 00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:51,281 and Lacey snuck in the kitchen and stole two cookies. 476 00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:53,109 - Oh, my God. Your children are monsters. 477 00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:54,545 - Hey, those are my kids, man. 478 00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:55,720 Back off. - Right. 479 00:14:55,764 --> 00:14:56,852 - And the crazy part is, 480 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,680 I really do want to go to the water park, 481 00:14:58,723 --> 00:14:59,811 but I can't give that to him 482 00:14:59,855 --> 00:15:00,943 because it's the only card I hold. 483 00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,118 - Mm. [bell dings] 484 00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:03,598 Elevator. 485 00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,861 - Excuse me, NYPD. Can I see your ID? 486 00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:08,777 - Amy, behind the wheelchair. 487 00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,605 - NYPD! Stop! 488 00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:13,477 - [grunts] 489 00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,959 - Diaz for Jeffords. - This is Terry. 490 00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:18,221 - I think we got our guy. Colombian man, 491 00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:19,657 unarmed, but he tried to run 492 00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:21,007 as soon as we identified ourselves. 493 00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,660 And he's got a picture of Rojas on his phone. 494 00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:24,836 - We'll be right there. 495 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,664 - No one in or out of this hallway. 496 00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:28,971 Why do you think that guy is unarmed? 497 00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:30,842 - Who knows? Maybe he was trying to smother Rojas 498 00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:32,148 or unplug his life support. 499 00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:34,934 - Or maybe he's a distraction, 500 00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:37,197 and someone else is going for the cookie jar. 501 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,241 - What? 502 00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:42,593 ♪ 503 00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,378 - Hi, Pam. 504 00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,683 - Hi, Jake. 505 00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:48,382 Don't come any closer, or I'll blow us both up! 506 00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:51,863 . 507 00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:53,126 - I'm sorry. 508 00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:54,475 You weren't supposed to be here. 509 00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,129 This wasn't part of the plan. - It's okay, Pam. 510 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:57,478 No need to panic. We're just talking. 511 00:15:57,521 --> 00:16:00,698 Look, I'm just gonna put this away. 512 00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,135 No, Terry, don't open that, please. 513 00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:03,614 - What's going on in there? 514 00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:05,529 - There is a woman in here with an explosive device. 515 00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:07,662 - What? You okay? - Yep. Everyone is fine. 516 00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:09,664 I just need you to evacuate this entire floor, 517 00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:11,753 call ESU and the bomb squad right away, 518 00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:13,798 and jam all cellular and Wi-Fi signals. 519 00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,409 - On it. 520 00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:18,238 - Okay, Pam, so we're just gonna stay calm here 521 00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:19,630 and talk this thing through as friends. 522 00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:21,458 - This isn't supposed to be happening. 523 00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:24,331 The man said that I'd be able to sneak in here unnoticed. 524 00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:25,723 - What man? Who asked you to do this? 525 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,812 - I didn't get his name, but he was very attractive. 526 00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:29,640 Antonio Banderas could play him in a movie. 527 00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:31,164 What has he been doing lately? 528 00:16:31,207 --> 00:16:33,079 You know what? He should be on "Outlander." 529 00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:34,254 - Okay, Pam, I'm gonna cut you off, 530 00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:35,168 but it's not because I'm not interested. 531 00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:36,299 - I'm sorry, I'm nervous. 532 00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:37,387 I get chatty when I get nervous. 533 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:38,867 - This man who gave you the bomb, 534 00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:41,174 did he happen to mention whether or not it's on a timer 535 00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:42,566 or if there's a remote detonator? 536 00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:44,873 - I don't know. I'm terrible with electronics. 537 00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:48,355 I wish my son Bobby were here. He taught me how to iPad. 538 00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:50,357 - Okay, I also know how to iPad, 539 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,054 so maybe I could take a look. 540 00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:53,316 - Stay where you are! 541 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,188 The man told me that when I got the bomb set, 542 00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:57,233 I should text him with this phone 543 00:16:57,277 --> 00:16:58,626 and if anything went wrong, 544 00:16:58,669 --> 00:16:59,975 I should push this button. 545 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,629 - No, no, no, no! You don't want to do that. 546 00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:03,109 - Yes, I do. I have to. 547 00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:04,632 - Well, there's only one thing to do when two people 548 00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:07,200 have diametrically opposing opinions on a subject. 549 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:09,202 Structured debate. - What? 550 00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:10,377 - Yeah, I just learned about it. 551 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:11,900 All right, I will argue the negative: 552 00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:12,944 I don't want to blow up. 553 00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:14,381 And you can argue the affirmative: 554 00:17:14,424 --> 00:17:16,252 you do want to blow up, which I have to say, Pam, 555 00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:17,645 is a very tough stance to take. 556 00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:18,733 - I don't want to blow up, 557 00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:21,040 but the man said he'd give me $500,000. 558 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:23,738 This is so Bobby can take care of my granddaughter. 559 00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:25,653 That girl means the world to me. 560 00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:26,697 - Fine, fine. Point to Pam. 561 00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:28,221 But if you care about her so much, 562 00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:29,352 how can you just blow yourself up? 563 00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:30,353 You'll never get to see her again. 564 00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:31,528 - Well, at least I know 565 00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:33,182 she'll be financially well taken care of. 566 00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:36,229 - Sure, but is this really how you want her to remember you? 567 00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:37,795 As a murderer? - I'd rather be remembered 568 00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:40,320 as a woman who blew up a mobster to help her family 569 00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:41,582 rather than a librarian 570 00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,975 whose bowels are tied up like a sailor's knot! 571 00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:45,847 - Okay, that's a very strong argument. 572 00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:46,891 Very strong. 573 00:17:46,935 --> 00:17:48,110 But you're forgetting one thing. 574 00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,677 You're not just gonna be killing a mobster. 575 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,113 You're also gonna be killing me. 576 00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:53,333 - He said the blast would only hurt people in the room. 577 00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:54,769 You could just walk right out of here. 578 00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:57,511 - Pam, you know I can't do that. 579 00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:59,339 Now, please, just give me the bomb. 580 00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:00,601 - And then what? 581 00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:02,472 Bobby doesn't get any money and I go to jail? 582 00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:03,778 I can't go to jail. 583 00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:05,954 Every roommate I've ever had has hated me. 584 00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:08,130 In college, I had a roommate named Mary-Ellen, 585 00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,611 and she was dating the brother of Steve Guttenberg-- 586 00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:11,699 - Pam, what are we talking about here? 587 00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:13,266 - I'm sorry. I'm really nervous. 588 00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:14,615 - Wait, wait, wait, wait! I know it probably feels like 589 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:16,095 you don't have a lot of options right now. 590 00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,662 In fact, this whole situation probably feels like-- 591 00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:20,621 like a twisted bowel, but it's not. 592 00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:23,276 There's still one end of this bowel that's open. 593 00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:25,452 - Which end? 594 00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:28,890 - The butt end. - I'm listening. 595 00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:31,153 - Okay, if you hand me that bomb right now, 596 00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:34,374 nothing bad will have happened, and that'll be because of you, 597 00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:35,853 because you cooperated. 598 00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:38,595 Also, I'm sure a judge would understand 599 00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:39,770 how you got into this situation. 600 00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:41,250 I mean, you were asked to do this 601 00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:43,557 by an Antonio Banderas type. Who could say no to that? 602 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,602 And even if you do go to prison, 603 00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:47,865 it is gonna be such a fancy prison. 604 00:18:47,909 --> 00:18:51,565 - With a lot of crafts? - Yes, with tons of crafts. 605 00:18:51,608 --> 00:18:54,655 Pam, listen to me. 606 00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:57,527 Let's untwist this bowel together. 607 00:18:57,571 --> 00:19:01,357 Let's clear everything out. 608 00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:03,011 - [exhales] 609 00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,537 - Okay. 610 00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:09,322 [sighs in relief] 611 00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:11,759 You did great, Pam. Thank you. 612 00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:12,847 - Now that it's out of my hands, 613 00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,414 I can see it really is a bomb. 614 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:15,545 - Yes. Yes, it is. 615 00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:18,157 - Oh, my God, get some help! - Okay. 616 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,116 ♪ 617 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,335 - You okay? - Hey. 618 00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:24,250 Yeah, I'm okay. 619 00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:27,514 - Really surprised by Pam. 620 00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:29,516 I did not see that coming. - Right? 621 00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:30,647 You should have seen the look on my face 622 00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:32,040 when I saw it was her. 623 00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:33,868 - Your jaw just dropped. 624 00:19:33,911 --> 00:19:35,130 - Oh, she's right there. - Mm-hmm. 625 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,741 - Good-bye, Pam. Good luck with everything. 626 00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:39,743 Kind of liked her in the end. - Yeah. 627 00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:42,050 So did they defuse the bomb? 628 00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:43,269 - Yeah, one of 'em. 629 00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:46,228 Oh, you didn't hear? There was a second bomb. 630 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:47,534 Ya butt. 631 00:19:47,577 --> 00:19:49,579 Ya butt is da bomb. - Aww. 632 00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,886 On our anniversary. 633 00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:53,801 Speaking of which, I requested next week off 634 00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:56,282 so we can take an actual vacation... 635 00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:57,892 to the water park. 636 00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:00,634 - I've never been more in love with you in my entire life. 637 00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:03,724 And hey, I've been thinking, 638 00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:07,467 and I do want to have kids. 639 00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:10,121 With you. 640 00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:13,255 - You're not scared anymore? - Oh, no, I am so scared. 641 00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:14,517 Maybe even more so than before, 642 00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:16,693 but I was scared in there with Pam too, 643 00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:19,783 and you know, I didn't panic or mess anything up there. 644 00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:22,482 If anything, I was sharper. I was a freakin' debate genius. 645 00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,919 - Debate genius? Oh, that's very hot. 646 00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:27,965 - Oh, that's an added bonus. Okay, keep that energy up. 647 00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:31,317 But the point that I was actually trying to make is, 648 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,928 maybe it's a good thing that I'm scared of fatherhood. 649 00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:37,366 You know? Maybe it'll turn me into a freakin' dad genius. 650 00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,284 But we don't have to start trying right away, right? 651 00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:45,156 I mean, I don't know that I'm all the way there yet. 652 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,115 - No, of course not. 653 00:20:47,158 --> 00:20:50,031 Whenever we're both ready. - How do you know when that is? 654 00:20:50,074 --> 00:20:51,728 - I guess we'll just have to have another one 655 00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:54,470 of these really fun, casual conversations. 656 00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:56,124 - Cool. Love that. Can't wait. 657 00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:57,343 - [laughs] 658 00:20:57,386 --> 00:21:00,084 Can we go home now? - Yes, please. 659 00:21:00,128 --> 00:21:01,869 Maybe we can grab some Thai food 660 00:21:01,912 --> 00:21:03,305 and brainstorm baby names? 661 00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:04,785 - Ooh, I like that. 662 00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:07,178 - Now, I am a fan of the show "American Gladiators." 663 00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:11,182 How do you feel about the name Blaze Peralta? 664 00:21:11,226 --> 00:21:12,314 - Not great. 665 00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:14,229 - What about Laser? - No. 666 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,230 - Nitro? - No. 667 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,231 - Viper? - No. 668 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,494 - Atlas? - Ooh, I do love atlases. 669 00:21:18,538 --> 00:21:20,714 - Mm, common ground. 670 00:21:22,585 --> 00:21:24,544 - Fremulon. 671 00:21:24,587 --> 00:21:26,850 - Not a doctor. - Shh.