1
00:00:03,569 --> 00:00:06,007
I've just received the email
about whether I've gotten
2
00:00:06,050 --> 00:00:07,486
the job as commissioner.
3
00:00:07,530 --> 00:00:09,010
Well, from the look on my face, I'm sure
4
00:00:09,053 --> 00:00:10,881
you can guess what it says.
5
00:00:11,174 --> 00:00:13,568
No. We have no idea at all.
6
00:00:13,612 --> 00:00:15,222
Just tell us, you monster.
7
00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:16,571
Really? No one noticed the slight
8
00:00:16,615 --> 00:00:19,792
tension in my labial commissure?
9
00:00:19,835 --> 00:00:21,837
- My lips. I'm smiling.
- Wait, you're smiling?
10
00:00:21,881 --> 00:00:23,317
Wait, we're allowed to say "labia" again?
11
00:00:23,361 --> 00:00:24,579
- Wait, you got it?
- I got it.
12
00:00:24,623 --> 00:00:25,841
Ohh!
13
00:00:25,885 --> 00:00:27,930
- Labia.
- Commissioner Raymond Holt.
14
00:00:27,974 --> 00:00:29,497
- Labia.
- You gotta stop right now,
15
00:00:29,541 --> 00:00:31,107
- Hitchcock.
- We need to celebrate.
16
00:00:31,151 --> 00:00:32,761
Ooh, we need music.
17
00:00:32,805 --> 00:00:35,416
Ooh-ohh, ohh, I brought a "Jock
Jams" CD for the wedding.
18
00:00:35,460 --> 00:00:37,113
Oh, we didn't talk about that.
19
00:00:37,157 --> 00:00:39,072
- It was gonna be a surprise.
- Our first dance was gonna be
20
00:00:39,115 --> 00:00:40,291
the "Tootsee Roll."
21
00:00:40,334 --> 00:00:41,553
Oh, no, and we didn't get to do it.
22
00:00:41,596 --> 00:00:43,119
I know. All right, nobody move.
23
00:00:43,163 --> 00:00:45,121
I'm gonna go get the CD.
24
00:00:45,165 --> 00:00:46,645
I want to thank you all.
25
00:00:46,688 --> 00:00:48,777
What an incredible moment.
26
00:00:48,821 --> 00:00:50,910
30 years of struggle and sacrifice.
27
00:00:50,953 --> 00:00:52,999
But it was worth it, because
I finally get to read
28
00:00:53,042 --> 00:00:55,436
the ten words I've longed to hear:
29
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,874
"Raymond Holt, you are not the"... oops.
30
00:00:58,918 --> 00:00:59,962
I misread the email.
31
00:01:00,006 --> 00:01:01,877
Didn't see the "not."
32
00:01:01,921 --> 00:01:03,052
So...
33
00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:06,273
I will not be the new commissioner.
34
00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:08,188
♪ Y'all ready for this ♪
35
00:01:09,798 --> 00:01:11,278
Jock jam.
36
00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:12,888
Whoo.
37
00:01:14,412 --> 00:01:15,674
Why is on one else dancing?
38
00:01:15,717 --> 00:01:16,979
Did I miss something?
39
00:01:17,023 --> 00:01:18,503
Feels like I missed something.
40
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,418
I'll just keep going until
someone tells me to...
41
00:01:20,461 --> 00:01:22,158
- Stop, Jake.
- All right.
42
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,670
Synced & corrected by MaxPayne
== https://subscene.com ==
43
00:01:42,048 --> 00:01:45,312
So Captain Holt is taking
another personal day.
44
00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:48,359
In his absence, I will be
running things around here.
45
00:01:48,402 --> 00:01:50,143
- That's not true.
- I'm in charge.
46
00:01:50,186 --> 00:01:53,233
Mm, no, it's gonna be more of a
Westeros free-for-all, okay?
47
00:01:53,276 --> 00:01:54,495
Who will bend a knee?
48
00:01:54,539 --> 00:01:55,931
- I will.
- Nobody's bending anything.
49
00:01:55,975 --> 00:01:57,019
Let's get started.
50
00:01:57,063 --> 00:01:58,238
Sarge, is Captain Holt all right?
51
00:01:58,281 --> 00:01:59,761
He never miss work.
52
00:01:59,805 --> 00:02:02,764
He said he was at a 49 and
improving at 8.6% a day.
53
00:02:02,808 --> 00:02:04,505
So I guess he'll be in soon.
54
00:02:04,549 --> 00:02:05,898
Now, we have two...
55
00:02:05,941 --> 00:02:07,639
Guess who just got paid, y'all.
56
00:02:07,682 --> 00:02:09,684
That's right. We got stacks
on stacks on stacks.
57
00:02:09,728 --> 00:02:11,251
Whoa. Where's all that cash from?
58
00:02:11,294 --> 00:02:13,819
Well, my brilliant wife
found a crazy loophole
59
00:02:13,862 --> 00:02:15,037
called "wedding insurance."
60
00:02:15,081 --> 00:02:16,038
It's very common.
61
00:02:16,082 --> 00:02:17,431
It's like renter's insurance.
62
00:02:17,475 --> 00:02:18,563
Oh, my God. Do we have that too?
63
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:20,129
- Yes.
- You are a wizard.
64
00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:22,697
The point is, we are
getting refunded in full,
65
00:02:22,741 --> 00:02:25,744
so we are going on a
super-deluxe, five-star
66
00:02:25,787 --> 00:02:27,398
mega-baller honeymoon.
67
00:02:27,441 --> 00:02:29,312
So you're not just going
to the Berkshires anymore?
68
00:02:29,356 --> 00:02:30,879
Screw that crap hole.
69
00:02:30,923 --> 00:02:32,751
It's a dump, and anyone who
goes there is garbage.
70
00:02:32,794 --> 00:02:34,448
I was gonna take Sharon there
for a romantic weekend.
71
00:02:34,492 --> 00:02:36,537
Oh, well, congratulations, ya poor.
72
00:02:36,581 --> 00:02:38,365
I am so sorry. Money really changes you.
73
00:02:38,409 --> 00:02:40,628
The resort is called Posadita Bonita.
74
00:02:40,672 --> 00:02:42,021
And it's in Mexico.
75
00:02:42,064 --> 00:02:43,718
Great food, great beaches, and when I say
76
00:02:43,762 --> 00:02:45,285
"Ay caramba" there, I'll fit right in.
77
00:02:45,328 --> 00:02:46,852
I don't think so.
78
00:02:46,895 --> 00:02:48,419
Isn't that the place that
Gina is always talking about,
79
00:02:48,462 --> 00:02:49,550
because she gets referral rewards points?
80
00:02:49,594 --> 00:02:51,030
Why, yes, it is.
81
00:02:51,073 --> 00:02:52,858
Don't forget to use code
GINA30 at checkout.
82
00:02:52,901 --> 00:02:54,990
It's super intimate and super fancy.
83
00:02:55,034 --> 00:02:57,384
And when we're there,
there's only one rule.
84
00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:59,473
A.B.C.
85
00:02:59,517 --> 00:03:01,170
Always be coconuting.
86
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:03,216
At all times, we will either
be drinking from, eating,
87
00:03:03,259 --> 00:03:05,610
or wearing a coconut.
88
00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:10,919
Oh, this place is amazing.
89
00:03:10,963 --> 00:03:12,573
I've never had sex outside
the United States.
90
00:03:12,617 --> 00:03:13,618
What are you thinking about?
91
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:15,315
Weirdly, the same thing.
92
00:03:15,358 --> 00:03:16,751
- Whoa.
- Welcome to paradise.
93
00:03:16,795 --> 00:03:18,318
- Margarita?
- Yes, I would love one.
94
00:03:18,361 --> 00:03:21,887
But is there any way you
could put it in a coconut?
95
00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:23,105
It will be my pleasure, sir.
96
00:03:23,149 --> 00:03:24,542
Oh, thank you.
97
00:03:24,585 --> 00:03:26,544
I requested a ridiculous
thing, and he's doing it.
98
00:03:26,587 --> 00:03:28,502
Quick, think of more stupid
stuff we can ask for.
99
00:03:28,546 --> 00:03:29,764
- Grapes.
- Sorry, I panicked.
100
00:03:29,808 --> 00:03:30,939
And I couldn't think of anything.
101
00:03:30,983 --> 00:03:32,288
No, no, no, grapes is perfect.
102
00:03:32,332 --> 00:03:33,942
Excuse me, sir, is there any way
103
00:03:33,986 --> 00:03:35,509
you could get my wife some grapes?
104
00:03:35,553 --> 00:03:37,250
- Yes, sir, right away.
- He's running.
105
00:03:37,293 --> 00:03:39,078
He's running for the grapes.
106
00:03:39,121 --> 00:03:40,166
Here are your drinks
107
00:03:40,209 --> 00:03:43,299
and a lovers' toolbox from a Mr. Boyle.
108
00:03:43,343 --> 00:03:44,344
Ah, thank you so much.
109
00:03:44,387 --> 00:03:45,476
We will never open this.
110
00:03:45,519 --> 00:03:46,520
Oh, my God, Jake, look.
111
00:03:46,564 --> 00:03:48,174
Yes, the grapes.
112
00:03:48,217 --> 00:03:49,262
Oh, and you brought cheese.
113
00:03:49,305 --> 00:03:50,350
I don't even want cheese.
114
00:03:50,393 --> 00:03:51,960
No, Jake, in the lounge.
115
00:03:53,179 --> 00:03:54,136
Captain Holt?
116
00:03:54,180 --> 00:03:56,443
Peralta?
117
00:03:56,487 --> 00:03:58,489
Ay caramba.
118
00:03:58,532 --> 00:04:00,839
Gina, what the hell?
119
00:04:00,882 --> 00:04:02,318
New phone, who dis?
120
00:04:02,362 --> 00:04:03,494
You can't do that in person.
121
00:04:03,537 --> 00:04:05,321
It's Charles.
122
00:04:05,365 --> 00:04:06,540
Boyle. Your coworker.
123
00:04:06,584 --> 00:04:08,020
Oh, hey, Charles.
124
00:04:08,063 --> 00:04:10,501
I just found out that your mom left my dad.
125
00:04:10,544 --> 00:04:11,676
They're getting divorced.
126
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:12,938
Eh, they had a good run.
127
00:04:12,981 --> 00:04:14,809
Fun fact: The average American marriage
128
00:04:14,853 --> 00:04:16,202
lasts fewer than two days.
129
00:04:16,245 --> 00:04:17,986
- That's not true.
- It doesn't have to be.
130
00:04:18,030 --> 00:04:19,422
It's commentary.
131
00:04:19,466 --> 00:04:20,772
Well, you know who didn't
think it was a good run?
132
00:04:20,815 --> 00:04:22,338
My daddy, Lynn Boyle.
133
00:04:22,382 --> 00:04:23,557
He's inconsolable.
134
00:04:23,601 --> 00:04:24,776
Well, I'm sure he'll get over it.
135
00:04:24,819 --> 00:04:26,560
No, Boyles don't "get over it."
136
00:04:26,604 --> 00:04:27,953
It becomes part of us.
137
00:04:27,996 --> 00:04:30,129
It lives within us. It eats us out.
138
00:04:30,172 --> 00:04:31,783
We have to get them back together.
139
00:04:31,826 --> 00:04:33,175
- Pass.
- Well, I'm doing it with
140
00:04:33,219 --> 00:04:34,916
- or without your help.
- Okay, without.
141
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,527
- Okay, you called my bluff.
- It has to be with your help.
142
00:04:36,570 --> 00:04:37,702
And I'm not taking no for an answer.
143
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:38,703
- No.
- Okay, you did it again.
144
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:40,008
Why are you like this?
145
00:04:40,052 --> 00:04:42,228
I don't know.
146
00:04:42,271 --> 00:04:44,404
Hey, Sarge, I have a problem,
and I would ask Holt,
147
00:04:44,447 --> 00:04:47,973
- but since he's not back...
- You came to Top Dog Terry.
148
00:04:48,016 --> 00:04:49,191
Smart move.
149
00:04:49,235 --> 00:04:51,585
I've been solving problems all day long.
150
00:04:53,152 --> 00:04:54,849
Okay, so you know that meth
case I've been working on
151
00:04:54,893 --> 00:04:56,329
for the last two months?
152
00:04:56,372 --> 00:04:58,113
The Department of Sanitation
police want to poach it
153
00:04:58,157 --> 00:04:59,637
from me, because the drugs
were found in a dumpster.
154
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:00,855
They're saying it's garbage-related.
155
00:05:00,899 --> 00:05:01,813
This is an easy one.
156
00:05:01,856 --> 00:05:03,336
Tell them to screw off.
157
00:05:03,379 --> 00:05:05,381
See? Problem solved.
158
00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:08,036
Yeah, well, I did that, and
they threatened to make
159
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:09,603
a formal complaint to the mayor.
160
00:05:09,647 --> 00:05:10,648
Then just let them have the case.
161
00:05:10,691 --> 00:05:11,997
Problem solved.
162
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,695
Terry, I've been working
on it for two months,
163
00:05:14,739 --> 00:05:16,305
and those dummies are gonna blow it.
164
00:05:16,349 --> 00:05:20,658
Right. Well, you could
partner up with sanitation.
165
00:05:20,701 --> 00:05:22,398
Problem solved? Woof-woof?
166
00:05:22,442 --> 00:05:23,486
Nope. Headquarters won't allow it
167
00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:24,705
due to budgetary reasons.
168
00:05:24,749 --> 00:05:26,751
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
169
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:28,883
You know, Captain Holt was
writing an instruction manual
170
00:05:28,927 --> 00:05:30,885
for his replacement in case
he was named commissioner.
171
00:05:30,929 --> 00:05:31,930
Maybe he could tell you what to do.
172
00:05:31,973 --> 00:05:33,584
That's not necessary.
173
00:05:33,627 --> 00:05:35,629
Top Dog Terry can make a decision.
174
00:05:35,673 --> 00:05:36,935
And what would that be?
175
00:05:39,111 --> 00:05:42,331
Does Top Dog Terry want a
moment to think about it?
176
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:44,116
Woof-woof.
177
00:05:44,159 --> 00:05:46,248
Since the rejection, a great
sadness has enveloped me.
178
00:05:46,292 --> 00:05:48,511
I kept expecting this dark feeling to pass,
179
00:05:48,555 --> 00:05:49,730
but it's only gotten worse.
180
00:05:49,774 --> 00:05:51,427
Not getting the job you want stinks.
181
00:05:51,471 --> 00:05:53,865
In first grade, I was passed
over for line leader,
182
00:05:53,908 --> 00:05:55,518
and I'm still pissed.
183
00:05:55,562 --> 00:05:58,478
Kyle D.'s lines had curves
and gaps and cutting galore.
184
00:05:58,521 --> 00:05:59,784
It was a frickin' carnival.
185
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:01,437
Yeah. What's a line leader?
186
00:06:01,481 --> 00:06:02,830
Well, it's not just that
I didn't get the job.
187
00:06:02,874 --> 00:06:04,266
It's that John Kelly did.
188
00:06:04,310 --> 00:06:06,617
He's already released a memo detailing his
189
00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:08,270
"vigilant policing" initiative.
190
00:06:08,314 --> 00:06:10,142
It's essentially a return
to stop and frisk.
191
00:06:10,185 --> 00:06:13,841
Choosing him is a betrayal
of everything I stand for.
192
00:06:13,885 --> 00:06:15,669
I feel the same way about Kyle D.
193
00:06:15,713 --> 00:06:17,671
I tried to suck it up and go back to work.
194
00:06:17,715 --> 00:06:19,238
I put on my uniform and got in my car.
195
00:06:19,281 --> 00:06:22,676
And next thing I knew, I
was on a plane to Mexico.
196
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,417
I didn't even pack a bag.
197
00:06:24,460 --> 00:06:26,724
I bought a bundle of novelty
shirts at a nearby gift shop.
198
00:06:26,767 --> 00:06:28,377
This one says, "What's up, beaches?"
199
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:30,945
Instead of "bitches" for humor reasons.
200
00:06:30,989 --> 00:06:33,208
- But you hate humor.
- Well, I'm a joke now,
201
00:06:33,252 --> 00:06:34,819
so it suits me.
202
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:38,344
Mm-kay. But, how did you
end up here in Mexico
203
00:06:38,387 --> 00:06:40,781
at the exact same tiny resort as us?
204
00:06:40,825 --> 00:06:42,783
Gina's been talking up
this place up for years.
205
00:06:42,827 --> 00:06:44,698
Referral Code GINA30.
206
00:06:44,742 --> 00:06:46,918
I had no idea you'd be here.
207
00:06:46,961 --> 00:06:48,571
- You know what?
- It's fine, sir.
208
00:06:48,615 --> 00:06:50,530
A lot of people go on their
honeymoon with their boss.
209
00:06:50,573 --> 00:06:51,879
Nope, I thought if I said it out loud
210
00:06:51,923 --> 00:06:52,924
it would normalize it, but it's weird.
211
00:06:52,967 --> 00:06:53,968
It's gonna be okay.
212
00:06:54,012 --> 00:06:55,230
How long are you staying, sir?
213
00:06:55,274 --> 00:06:56,841
Just until I get my head right.
214
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:59,495
But don't worry.
I'll steer clear of you two.
215
00:06:59,539 --> 00:07:00,932
You won't even know I'm here.
216
00:07:00,975 --> 00:07:03,499
This place is so romantic.
217
00:07:03,543 --> 00:07:06,807
Yeah, and so... intimate.
218
00:07:06,851 --> 00:07:09,201
- Don't worry.
- I'm not listening to you.
219
00:07:09,244 --> 00:07:11,899
I'm just thinking about
how this sea bass is cold
220
00:07:11,943 --> 00:07:14,206
but not as cold and cruel
as the hands of fate
221
00:07:14,249 --> 00:07:18,819
that have thrust my entire
life into darkness.
222
00:07:18,863 --> 00:07:20,342
Ah, damn it.
223
00:07:20,386 --> 00:07:22,301
I just ordered the sea bass.
224
00:07:22,999 --> 00:07:25,219
Ahh, babe, this is so nice.
225
00:07:25,262 --> 00:07:27,641
There are hot stones on
our butts for no reason.
226
00:07:27,642 --> 00:07:28,372
Not on mine.
227
00:07:28,377 --> 00:07:29,397
My butt stones keep falling off,
228
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,441
because I'm so tense about Holt being here
229
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:32,235
and ruining everything.
230
00:07:32,481 --> 00:07:35,750
- It hasn't been that bad.
- Really?
231
00:07:35,794 --> 00:07:37,491
Oops. Sorry.
232
00:07:37,534 --> 00:07:39,275
Can't even float right.
233
00:07:39,319 --> 00:07:40,755
Just push me away.
234
00:07:40,799 --> 00:07:42,539
Everyone else does.
235
00:07:42,583 --> 00:07:46,195
It's not great, but as long as
we stay in here, we're safe.
236
00:07:46,239 --> 00:07:47,893
Peralta, Santiago, I'm in your room.
237
00:07:47,936 --> 00:07:49,459
What? How?
238
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:50,634
Patio door was open I
pushed through the hedge.
239
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,462
Tell me, what is it about me
240
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:54,247
that screams loser?
241
00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:55,814
Yeah, you know, we're kind of in the middle
242
00:07:55,857 --> 00:07:57,511
of getting massages right now, sir.
243
00:07:57,554 --> 00:07:58,947
Oh, how thoughtless of me.
244
00:07:58,991 --> 00:08:00,862
I'll get down here so you can see my face.
245
00:08:00,906 --> 00:08:02,298
Oh, no, that's...
246
00:08:02,342 --> 00:08:05,475
Hello. The question was,
what is it about me
247
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:08,957
that screams loser?
248
00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:12,004
I can't figure out what went
wrong between our parents.
249
00:08:12,047 --> 00:08:13,483
They were so in love.
250
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,050
Oh, okay, so we're having a conversation?
251
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:16,530
No, to get them back together,
252
00:08:16,573 --> 00:08:17,836
we need to know what happened.
Did your mom tell you?
253
00:08:17,879 --> 00:08:18,924
- Nope.
- Damn it.
254
00:08:18,967 --> 00:08:20,447
Okay, let's brainstorm.
255
00:08:20,490 --> 00:08:22,101
It could be that my dad is
too clingy or too masculine.
256
00:08:22,144 --> 00:08:24,059
You know what? I'm going
to play a game on my phone
257
00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:25,669
while you go on this little journey.
258
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:28,237
He overshares, he's indecisive,
259
00:08:28,281 --> 00:08:29,543
he's always crying.
260
00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:30,587
Oh, I made it inside the temple.
261
00:08:30,631 --> 00:08:32,154
He wears a kimono a lot.
262
00:08:32,198 --> 00:08:33,677
- I became a hawk.
- I have talons.
263
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:34,983
Well, he can't keep a secret.
264
00:08:35,027 --> 00:08:36,680
He has a clinically loose pelvis.
265
00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:38,552
- Okay, that did break through.
- I heard "loose pelvis."
266
00:08:38,595 --> 00:08:39,901
Charles, you've got to stop.
267
00:08:39,945 --> 00:08:41,381
It's none of those things.
268
00:08:41,424 --> 00:08:42,774
Wait. You said your mom
didn't tell you anything.
269
00:08:42,817 --> 00:08:44,384
- Do you know what happened?
- Yes, I do.
270
00:08:44,427 --> 00:08:45,820
And it's none of your business, Charles.
271
00:08:45,864 --> 00:08:48,344
Just stop sticking your nose
where it doesn't belong.
272
00:08:48,388 --> 00:08:49,824
Really, Gina.
273
00:08:49,868 --> 00:08:53,349
And where does my nose belong
if not inside our parents?
274
00:08:53,393 --> 00:08:54,698
Okay, so we can get away from Holt.
275
00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:56,135
I mean, should we tell him to leave,
276
00:08:56,178 --> 00:08:57,136
that he's ruining our honeymoon?
277
00:08:57,179 --> 00:08:58,615
No, we can't.
278
00:08:58,659 --> 00:09:01,705
That would crush him, and
he's already so crushed.
279
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:03,098
Wait, I got it.
280
00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:04,099
We kill Holt.
281
00:09:04,143 --> 00:09:05,666
No.
282
00:09:05,709 --> 00:09:07,363
No, that was crazy for a
multitude of reasons.
283
00:09:07,407 --> 00:09:09,365
We have a bunch of fun activities planned.
284
00:09:09,409 --> 00:09:12,629
If we include him, it'll cheer
him up, and he'll leave.
285
00:09:12,673 --> 00:09:15,023
Right, but aren't most of our activities
286
00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:16,546
kind of geared towards couples?
287
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,853
Name one couples' activity
that wouldn't be more fun
288
00:09:18,897 --> 00:09:20,115
with your boss there.
289
00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:21,682
Welcome to Sensual Food Tasting:
290
00:09:21,725 --> 00:09:23,858
The Art of Feeding Your Lover.
291
00:09:23,902 --> 00:09:25,555
I feel like I don't belong here.
292
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:28,863
Mm, I love how the mud
revitalizes your skin.
293
00:09:28,907 --> 00:09:31,518
And I love how it masks my shame.
294
00:09:31,561 --> 00:09:33,389
I am loving this.
295
00:09:33,433 --> 00:09:35,609
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
296
00:09:35,652 --> 00:09:36,871
Mmm.
297
00:09:36,915 --> 00:09:38,699
This is actually quite pleasant.
298
00:09:38,742 --> 00:09:41,049
You know, when you invited
me to join you today,
299
00:09:41,093 --> 00:09:42,268
I was skeptical.
300
00:09:42,311 --> 00:09:43,878
I had been sitting by the pool
301
00:09:43,922 --> 00:09:46,881
contentedly watching a bee
struggle to avoid drowning
302
00:09:46,925 --> 00:09:49,449
and thinking to myself
how I am like that bee.
303
00:09:49,492 --> 00:09:50,842
Man, I hope it survived.
304
00:09:50,885 --> 00:09:52,452
We can't afford to lose any more bees.
305
00:09:52,495 --> 00:09:53,932
It didn't. The point is that I am glad
306
00:09:53,975 --> 00:09:55,585
you included me into your
frivolous activities.
307
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,370
You helped me to remember
there's more to life
308
00:09:57,413 --> 00:09:58,632
than the NYPD.
309
00:09:58,675 --> 00:10:00,939
Wow, that's great to hear, sir.
310
00:10:00,982 --> 00:10:02,070
I feel a lot better.
311
00:10:02,114 --> 00:10:03,637
I think I may be heading home.
312
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:05,595
Unless you need a third
for tonight's activities.
313
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,162
- What are we...
- Sensual pottery.
314
00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:08,772
I think we're good.
315
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:10,513
Sarge, I keep getting calls
about my drug case from...
316
00:10:10,557 --> 00:10:11,906
What the hell is going on?
317
00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:14,126
Nothing. Just deciding what to do about
318
00:10:14,169 --> 00:10:16,693
your sanitation issue, like a boss.
319
00:10:16,737 --> 00:10:18,043
You're looking for Captain
Holt's manual aren't you?
320
00:10:18,086 --> 00:10:19,827
Please, Diaz.
321
00:10:19,871 --> 00:10:22,612
Top Dog Terry does not need to
look for Captain Holt's manual.
322
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:24,049
He knows it's on his computer.
323
00:10:24,092 --> 00:10:25,746
Top Dog Terry was looking for the password.
324
00:10:25,789 --> 00:10:27,791
Why don't you just make your own decision?
325
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:29,924
I did that, and I'm very proud of it.
326
00:10:29,968 --> 00:10:31,708
I just want to make sure
Captain Holt would make
327
00:10:31,752 --> 00:10:33,797
the same decision so I
can be proud of him too.
328
00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:36,017
Gina. Do you know Captain Holt's password?
329
00:10:36,061 --> 00:10:38,715
Oh, Terry, just because I
know all your passwords
330
00:10:38,759 --> 00:10:40,543
doesn't mean I know Captain Holt's.
331
00:10:40,587 --> 00:10:41,936
Okay, well, we could probably guess it.
332
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:44,896
Why don't you try BaldByChoice or PecMan
333
00:10:44,939 --> 00:10:46,810
or MacklemoreEnthusiast?
334
00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:49,770
- Stop saying my passwords.
- Damn, Gina.
335
00:10:49,813 --> 00:10:51,250
Now Terry's got to update his keychain.
336
00:10:51,293 --> 00:10:53,121
Start simple. Kevin with a capital K
337
00:10:53,165 --> 00:10:54,296
and a 1 instead of an I
338
00:10:54,340 --> 00:10:55,863
Oh, I feel good about that.
339
00:10:58,344 --> 00:11:00,607
Locked out? Too many failed attempts?
340
00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:02,783
I only guessed once.
341
00:11:02,826 --> 00:11:05,960
Computer will now delete hard drive?
342
00:11:06,004 --> 00:11:07,570
I've got to fix this.
343
00:11:09,529 --> 00:11:11,313
Good. You fixed it.
344
00:11:11,357 --> 00:11:12,836
He's leaving. Our plan worked.
345
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,490
We saved our own honeymoon, and fun bonus,
346
00:11:14,534 --> 00:11:15,970
- we cheered up Holt.
- Yes.
347
00:11:16,014 --> 00:11:17,406
Okay, it's time to celebrate.
348
00:11:17,450 --> 00:11:18,973
You know what that means.
349
00:11:19,017 --> 00:11:21,019
This B needs a C in her A.
350
00:11:21,062 --> 00:11:22,542
Oh, my God.
351
00:11:22,585 --> 00:11:23,847
This babe needs a coconut in her arms.
352
00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:26,807
Oh, I thought you were saying
353
00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:28,461
this needs a
in her.
354
00:11:28,504 --> 00:11:29,984
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, that was my reaction.
355
00:11:30,028 --> 00:11:31,507
All right, I'll go get
us a couple of coconuts.
356
00:11:31,551 --> 00:11:33,161
Ahh, hey there, Captain.
357
00:11:33,205 --> 00:11:35,033
Haven't seen you looking this
happy since they picked up
358
00:11:35,076 --> 00:11:36,948
"The Durrells in Corfu"
for a fourth season.
359
00:11:36,991 --> 00:11:39,602
Yes, well, I've reached the
best part of every vacation:
360
00:11:39,646 --> 00:11:41,039
Reviewing the charges.
361
00:11:41,082 --> 00:11:42,518
- Well, don't let me interrupt.
- Have a safe flight.
362
00:11:42,562 --> 00:11:44,172
And I'll see you back at the Nine-Nine.
363
00:11:44,216 --> 00:11:45,739
No, you won't; I'll never
be going back there again.
364
00:11:45,782 --> 00:11:47,741
- What? Why?
- I'm confused.
365
00:11:47,784 --> 00:11:50,178
You and Amy made me see
that there's more to life
366
00:11:50,222 --> 00:11:53,921
than the NYPD, so I'm quitting.
367
00:11:53,965 --> 00:11:55,705
Oh.
368
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:59,883
Well... what a satisfying result
369
00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:02,974
that we all were hoping would occur.
370
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:06,077
Hold on. So let's just back up a second.
371
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,774
When you say you're
quitting, you mean quitting
372
00:12:07,818 --> 00:12:09,036
for, like, a couple of weeks,
and then you'll come back
373
00:12:09,037 --> 00:12:11,047
Jordan-style with a new badge number?
374
00:12:11,051 --> 00:12:12,690
No, I mean, quitting permanently,
375
00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:14,824
I'm putting in my resignation
as soon as I get back home.
376
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:15,955
I better hurry if I want
to be at the airport
377
00:12:15,999 --> 00:12:17,478
six hours ahead of my flight.
378
00:12:17,522 --> 00:12:18,610
Hey, you know what?
379
00:12:18,653 --> 00:12:20,046
I should drive you there.
380
00:12:20,090 --> 00:12:21,656
Will you come with me to
grab my keys from the room?
381
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:25,835
Okay, they're just right in here, so...
382
00:12:27,837 --> 00:12:28,881
You're not leaving this room.
383
00:12:28,925 --> 00:12:30,317
What the hell is going on?
384
00:12:30,361 --> 00:12:31,710
I can't let you quit.
385
00:12:31,754 --> 00:12:34,974
Yes, but why the candles and rose petals?
386
00:12:35,018 --> 00:12:37,194
- Wuh-oh.
- Is that Mr. McClane I hear?
387
00:12:37,237 --> 00:12:41,415
'Cause someone's about to Die Harrr...
oh, my God.
388
00:12:41,459 --> 00:12:42,808
Why is Captain Holt here?
389
00:12:43,102 --> 00:12:44,799
Because he's gonna...
wait, are you dressed like
390
00:12:44,842 --> 00:12:46,018
Bonnie Bedelia in "Die Hard?"
391
00:12:46,061 --> 00:12:47,454
- I am.
- For sexy reasons?
392
00:12:47,497 --> 00:12:49,064
- Yes.
- Oh, boy.
393
00:12:49,108 --> 00:12:50,326
Jake, why is he here?
394
00:12:50,327 --> 00:12:51,643
Because he's quitting the force,
395
00:12:51,686 --> 00:12:53,079
so I brought him to convince him not to,
396
00:12:53,123 --> 00:12:54,733
but obviously that is
not important anymore.
397
00:12:54,777 --> 00:12:56,300
All right, Captain, it's been a good run.
398
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:57,644
Thank you for teaching me
the importance of a tie
399
00:12:57,645 --> 00:12:58,920
in the workplace, and the
door is right over here.
400
00:12:58,921 --> 00:13:01,239
- Whoa, whoa, wait. What?
- You're quitting?
401
00:13:01,283 --> 00:13:03,241
- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.
402
00:13:03,285 --> 00:13:04,288
We're keeping you right here.
403
00:13:04,289 --> 00:13:06,592
- How are you going to do that?
- Physically restrain me?
404
00:13:06,636 --> 00:13:07,054
Great idea.
405
00:13:07,055 --> 00:13:09,203
Is there anything in
Charles' box of nightmares
406
00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:11,467
that could be used to tie up Holt?
407
00:13:11,510 --> 00:13:13,860
Yes. Literally everything
in here could be used
408
00:13:13,904 --> 00:13:15,340
to tie up a person.
409
00:13:15,384 --> 00:13:17,908
Wow, Terry, put Captain Holt's
computer back together?
410
00:13:17,951 --> 00:13:19,475
- Looks great.
- Sure did.
411
00:13:19,518 --> 00:13:21,825
Couldn't find room inside
for this stuff, though.
412
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,827
Well, is there any chance
the info on in computer
413
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,263
was maybe saved to the cloud?
414
00:13:25,307 --> 00:13:27,004
I don't know.
415
00:13:27,047 --> 00:13:29,615
Gina, was Captain Holt's hard
drive backed up to the cloud?
416
00:13:29,659 --> 00:13:31,313
- Yeah.
- Then why did you let me try
417
00:13:31,356 --> 00:13:32,357
to rebuild his computer?
418
00:13:32,401 --> 00:13:34,011
Because I'm a rascal.
419
00:13:34,054 --> 00:13:37,884
Okay, so I just log onto
the cloud as Captain Holt
420
00:13:37,928 --> 00:13:40,539
and click "forgot password"
421
00:13:40,583 --> 00:13:42,715
and answer his security questions.
422
00:13:42,759 --> 00:13:45,675
First up: What is God?
423
00:13:45,718 --> 00:13:46,937
Hey, Gina.
424
00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:48,678
Did you see "Real Housewives" last night?
425
00:13:48,721 --> 00:13:51,333
If she says no, then ask
about "Below Deck."
426
00:13:51,376 --> 00:13:52,769
What are you doing?
427
00:13:52,812 --> 00:13:54,292
She's getting suspicious, Scully.
Act natural.
428
00:13:54,336 --> 00:13:55,902
Are you wearing an earpiece?
429
00:13:55,946 --> 00:13:57,991
Tell her no. Scully, stop
saying what I'm saying.
430
00:13:58,035 --> 00:13:59,906
Be normal.
431
00:13:59,950 --> 00:14:01,038
Charles, what are you doing?
432
00:14:01,081 --> 00:14:02,300
Damn it, Gina.
433
00:14:02,344 --> 00:14:03,910
What does it look like I'm doing?
434
00:14:03,954 --> 00:14:05,738
I'm trying to unlock your phone
using a mask of your face
435
00:14:05,782 --> 00:14:07,871
so I can find out why your mom left my dad.
436
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:09,220
Charles, give me my phone.
437
00:14:09,263 --> 00:14:11,744
Okay, fine.
438
00:14:11,788 --> 00:14:14,312
- Boom, unlocked it.
- Give me my phone, Charles.
439
00:14:14,356 --> 00:14:16,314
Not until I find out or
parents are breaking up.
440
00:14:16,358 --> 00:14:17,924
- Give it.
- Scrolling, scrolling.
441
00:14:17,968 --> 00:14:19,665
- Give me my phone, you idiot.
- You were the reason.
442
00:14:19,709 --> 00:14:21,624
You sent her a text that says,
"You should divorce him"?
443
00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:24,148
Okay, yeah, but that's
open to interpretation.
444
00:14:24,191 --> 00:14:25,584
No, but then she says, "I don't want to,"
445
00:14:25,628 --> 00:14:27,369
and then you say, "But you have to.
446
00:14:27,412 --> 00:14:29,066
"Leave him now, and divorce him.
447
00:14:29,109 --> 00:14:30,546
Don't tell him why."
448
00:14:30,589 --> 00:14:34,811
Okay, yeah, you did interpret it correctly.
449
00:14:34,854 --> 00:14:37,204
Shame, shame.
450
00:14:37,248 --> 00:14:38,728
I'm so sorry I brought Holt back here.
451
00:14:38,771 --> 00:14:40,643
I had no idea you were doing
this whole "Die Hard" thing.
452
00:14:40,686 --> 00:14:42,427
Man, you really got the hair exactly right.
453
00:14:42,471 --> 00:14:44,734
Did you contact the onset
hair stylist, Paul Abascal?
454
00:14:44,777 --> 00:14:46,126
No, this is a wig.
455
00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:47,954
- Oh, that's cool too.
- So here's what I'm thinking.
456
00:14:47,998 --> 00:14:49,826
We let Holt go, I have sex
with Holly Gennaro but hotter.
457
00:14:49,869 --> 00:14:52,306
The squad handles the captain,
or disbands, whatever,
458
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:53,830
we have sex again...
459
00:14:53,873 --> 00:14:55,571
- Okay, stop suggesting that.
- We need to stay focused.
460
00:14:55,614 --> 00:14:57,137
- Right.
- Holt it fragile.
461
00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:58,617
We need to be gentle, okay?
462
00:14:58,661 --> 00:15:00,140
- Just follow my lead.
- With pleasure.
463
00:15:00,184 --> 00:15:01,577
I love the view. I'm sorry.
464
00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:03,666
This outfit is driving me insane.
465
00:15:03,709 --> 00:15:06,495
Hello, sir. Sorry again for
tying you spread eagle
466
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:09,323
- on the bed.
- Apology not accepted.
467
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,543
Look, I know you're upset, but this isn't
468
00:15:11,587 --> 00:15:13,806
your last chance to become commissioner.
469
00:15:13,850 --> 00:15:15,068
John Kelly's old.
470
00:15:15,112 --> 00:15:16,505
He's not gonna be in office forever.
471
00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:18,071
True, but he'll just be replaced by another
472
00:15:18,115 --> 00:15:19,421
mediocre old white man.
473
00:15:19,464 --> 00:15:20,813
Nothing will ever change.
474
00:15:20,857 --> 00:15:22,815
All right, well, what about all your goals
475
00:15:22,859 --> 00:15:24,251
for the Nine-Nine?
476
00:15:24,295 --> 00:15:25,644
You still have so much left to accomplish.
477
00:15:25,688 --> 00:15:26,950
Wrong, I've accomplished everything
478
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:28,299
that I set out to do.
479
00:15:28,342 --> 00:15:29,822
I wanted to reduce crime, and I did.
480
00:15:29,866 --> 00:15:31,345
There's no crime in Brooklyn anymore.
481
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:32,782
Seems like a bit of a stretch.
482
00:15:32,825 --> 00:15:34,653
What about improving community relations?
483
00:15:34,697 --> 00:15:36,176
Done. Everyone loves the police.
484
00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:37,700
It's embarrassing.
485
00:15:37,743 --> 00:15:39,266
Way off. All right, Ame,
step aside; I got this.
486
00:15:39,310 --> 00:15:41,138
Captain, what about the Halloween Heist?
487
00:15:41,181 --> 00:15:43,314
I'll just come in and win it
and then go back to my house.
488
00:15:43,357 --> 00:15:45,055
- Damn it. I'm out.
- Jake.
489
00:15:45,098 --> 00:15:47,187
All right, fine, sir, do you
know why I love coming to work?
490
00:15:47,231 --> 00:15:48,972
Because there's a bumper pool
table in the break room.
491
00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:50,800
Yes, obviously I love
the bumper pool table.
492
00:15:50,843 --> 00:15:53,629
But do you want to know another reason why?
493
00:15:53,672 --> 00:15:55,021
You.
494
00:15:55,065 --> 00:15:56,196
You've made me a better cop.
495
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:57,589
You've made me a better person.
496
00:15:57,633 --> 00:15:59,852
I've learned so much from you.
497
00:15:59,896 --> 00:16:01,941
So you can't quit.
498
00:16:01,985 --> 00:16:04,553
Because I need you.
499
00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:07,294
- Oh, please. How selfish.
- What?
500
00:16:07,338 --> 00:16:08,557
That little speech you just gave.
501
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,384
It was all about you and what you need.
502
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,474
How unbelievably selfish.
503
00:16:12,517 --> 00:16:14,476
Okay, well, I don't want
to get mad right now,
504
00:16:14,519 --> 00:16:16,347
'cause Amy is worried about you, so...
505
00:16:16,390 --> 00:16:18,175
No, screw that noise.
506
00:16:18,218 --> 00:16:19,872
How dare you call Jake selfish?
507
00:16:19,916 --> 00:16:22,396
He just wasted his entire honeymoon
508
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,224
trying to take care of
you while you wallowed
509
00:16:24,268 --> 00:16:26,052
in your misery like a little baby.
510
00:16:26,096 --> 00:16:28,272
- That seems a little harsh.
- Oh, does it?
511
00:16:28,315 --> 00:16:29,882
- I don't give a hoot.
- Oh, damn.
512
00:16:29,926 --> 00:16:32,058
For the last five years, all I've done is
513
00:16:32,102 --> 00:16:34,844
give a hoot about you and what you think.
514
00:16:34,887 --> 00:16:36,715
I gave a hoot about you as a boss.
515
00:16:36,759 --> 00:16:38,282
I gave a hoot about you as a mentor.
516
00:16:38,325 --> 00:16:40,153
I gave a hoot about you as a friend.
517
00:16:40,197 --> 00:16:41,764
She gave so many hoots.
518
00:16:41,807 --> 00:16:43,766
- Not anymore.
- After the way you've acted
519
00:16:43,809 --> 00:16:46,246
and what you just said to
Jake, I don't give a hoot,
520
00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:48,031
what you think, and I really don't
521
00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:51,556
give a hoot if you decide
to quit the NYPD, so do it.
522
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:52,905
I'm all out of hoots.
523
00:16:52,949 --> 00:16:55,517
I'm hootless.
524
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,431
- Now, what I want to say is...
- Jake.
525
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:58,781
Coming Holly Gennaro.
526
00:17:00,925 --> 00:17:03,079
Hey, I thought piña coladas
might be too festive,
527
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,757
so I got two super-depressing
coconuts filled with merlot.
528
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,692
- I'm not depressed.
- I'm relieved.
529
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:10,826
For the first time all week,
it's just the two of us.
530
00:17:10,870 --> 00:17:12,306
I'm right here.
531
00:17:12,349 --> 00:17:14,134
I escaped using some of
the lube Boyle sent you.
532
00:17:14,177 --> 00:17:15,788
It got everywhere. I had to change.
533
00:17:15,831 --> 00:17:18,878
Yeah, and your new shirt is
very aggressive and confusing.
534
00:17:18,921 --> 00:17:20,096
Is the pineapple the slut,
535
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,445
or is it calling someone else a slut?
536
00:17:21,489 --> 00:17:23,186
Clearly the pineapple is the slut.
537
00:17:23,230 --> 00:17:24,709
- Huh.
- Look, I wanted to say
538
00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,015
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah?
539
00:17:26,059 --> 00:17:27,800
Maybe find someone who gives a hoot.
540
00:17:27,843 --> 00:17:29,453
Try an owl cage.
541
00:17:29,497 --> 00:17:31,804
Oh, honey, I love you, but not your best.
542
00:17:31,847 --> 00:17:34,110
Look, you have every right
not to accept my apology,
543
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:36,243
but at least hear it first.
544
00:17:36,286 --> 00:17:38,027
I'm sorry I said Jake was selfish.
545
00:17:38,071 --> 00:17:39,724
I'm sorry I ruined your honeymoon.
546
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:42,597
I'm sorry I interrupted your
"Die Hard" -themed sexcapades.
547
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,426
You don't have to list
everything; It's cool.
548
00:17:45,469 --> 00:17:48,429
Right. I thought if I
played by the NYPD's rules
549
00:17:48,472 --> 00:17:50,692
and didn't make any waves, one
day I would rise to a position
550
00:17:50,735 --> 00:17:52,650
where I could make meaningful change.
551
00:17:52,694 --> 00:17:55,697
When they hired John Kelly,
I realized I was wrong,
552
00:17:55,740 --> 00:17:57,655
and I thought I was out of options.
553
00:17:57,699 --> 00:17:59,657
But then you tied me to
your bed, legs akimbo,
554
00:17:59,701 --> 00:18:03,748
and made me realize there was another way.
555
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:06,012
I could not give a hoot.
556
00:18:06,055 --> 00:18:07,100
Wow, the hoot thing is catching on.
557
00:18:07,143 --> 00:18:08,666
Didn't see that coming.
558
00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:10,233
I'm going to go directly
to the mayor and tell him
559
00:18:10,277 --> 00:18:12,670
John Kelly's "vigilant policing" proposal
560
00:18:12,714 --> 00:18:14,324
is regressive and counter-productive,
561
00:18:14,368 --> 00:18:16,674
and if he implements it, I'm gonna make
562
00:18:16,718 --> 00:18:18,459
a big stink in the press.
563
00:18:18,502 --> 00:18:20,287
Going over the commissioner and
threatening the mayor, sir?
564
00:18:20,330 --> 00:18:21,984
Don't you think that'll piss him off?
565
00:18:22,028 --> 00:18:24,857
I don't give a hoot.
566
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:26,467
Listen, I'm on the next plane back,
567
00:18:26,510 --> 00:18:28,556
but I wanted to pay for you
two to extend your stay
568
00:18:28,599 --> 00:18:30,775
so you can have a proper honeymoon.
569
00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:32,777
Oh, sir, thank you.
570
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:34,605
That's very nice, right, Jake?
571
00:18:34,649 --> 00:18:35,780
Yeah, super cool.
572
00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,391
Just out of curiosity asking for a friend,
573
00:18:37,434 --> 00:18:39,436
where did you get the shirt,
and how much did it cost?
574
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,525
Ooh, you're still wearing the mask?
575
00:18:41,569 --> 00:18:44,572
- Yeah, to hide my sadness.
- I'll take it off.
576
00:18:44,615 --> 00:18:46,052
No, don't.
577
00:18:46,095 --> 00:18:47,880
For some reason, it's easier
to care about what you say
578
00:18:47,923 --> 00:18:49,446
when you look like me.
579
00:18:49,490 --> 00:18:51,144
Why did you tell your mom
to leave my dad, Gina?
580
00:18:51,187 --> 00:18:53,189
Is it so bad being a Boyle?
581
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:56,192
Yes, it terrible, but
that's not why I did it.
582
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:57,846
My mom was cheating on your dad,
583
00:18:57,890 --> 00:18:59,456
so I told her she had to break it off.
584
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:00,936
What? Why didn't you tell me?
585
00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:02,720
Because I didn't want to hurt you or him.
586
00:19:02,764 --> 00:19:05,375
She was being disgusting, so I
told her she had to end it.
587
00:19:05,419 --> 00:19:06,724
You were trying to protect us.
588
00:19:06,768 --> 00:19:08,378
Gina, you were actually being sweet.
589
00:19:08,422 --> 00:19:10,554
Uh-doi.
590
00:19:10,598 --> 00:19:12,556
- How's it going, Sarge?
- Not good.
591
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,645
I'm reading this book on
religion, and apparently
592
00:19:14,689 --> 00:19:16,691
there's some debate as to what God is.
593
00:19:16,734 --> 00:19:17,692
Don't worry about it.
594
00:19:17,735 --> 00:19:19,172
- Gina had the manual.
- What?
595
00:19:19,215 --> 00:19:20,260
Why didn't she just give it to me?
596
00:19:20,303 --> 00:19:22,001
'Cause she's a rascal.
597
00:19:22,044 --> 00:19:23,524
Look at what it says.
598
00:19:23,567 --> 00:19:25,874
"Never use italics, lest
people think you are
599
00:19:25,918 --> 00:19:27,310
a con-man or a clown."
600
00:19:27,354 --> 00:19:29,225
I'm not sure how this applies here.
601
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,879
No. Under that.
602
00:19:30,923 --> 00:19:33,186
"If you are unsure of what
to do in any situation,
603
00:19:33,229 --> 00:19:36,189
consult Sergeant Jeffords."
604
00:19:36,232 --> 00:19:38,495
I trust him completely."
605
00:19:38,539 --> 00:19:40,019
Well, that's a kick in the butt.
606
00:19:40,062 --> 00:19:42,760
So what should I do, Sarge?
607
00:19:42,804 --> 00:19:44,937
Tell sanitation you'll
work the case together.
608
00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:47,330
You're the primary, and HQ can take it out
609
00:19:47,374 --> 00:19:48,549
of the supplemental budget.
610
00:19:48,592 --> 00:19:50,464
- I'll find the room.
- Cool.
611
00:19:50,507 --> 00:19:52,596
Top Dog Terry's back.
612
00:19:53,946 --> 00:19:55,077
Okay, you ready?
613
00:19:55,121 --> 00:19:57,862
Mm-hmm.
614
00:19:57,906 --> 00:19:59,255
Hello.
615
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:00,953
Oh, my God.
616
00:20:00,996 --> 00:20:02,171
Are you Melvil Dewey?
617
00:20:02,215 --> 00:20:03,564
Indeed I am.
618
00:20:03,607 --> 00:20:05,914
I invented the Dewey decimal system,
619
00:20:05,958 --> 00:20:09,962
but right now I'm working on
the Do-me decimal system.
620
00:20:10,005 --> 00:20:11,050
Mm-hmm, yeah.
621
00:20:11,093 --> 00:20:12,094
This is really working for me.
622
00:20:12,138 --> 00:20:13,226
- Really?
- Yeah.
623
00:20:13,269 --> 00:20:14,923
- Awesome.
- So, Mr. Dewey,
624
00:20:14,967 --> 00:20:17,273
can you save me from the
terrorists that have taken over
625
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:18,274
Nakatomi Plaza?
626
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:20,015
Yes, Holly Gennaro,
627
00:20:20,059 --> 00:20:25,151
I just need file them in the library...
card... catalog.
628
00:20:25,194 --> 00:20:26,282
Yeah, this is really hard to track.
629
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:27,718
Let's just take our clothes off.
630
00:20:27,762 --> 00:20:29,024
- Oh, thank God.
- This old jacket is so hot.
631
00:20:29,068 --> 00:20:30,330
Yeah.
632
00:20:30,373 --> 00:20:31,896
That was magical.
633
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:34,116
- I can't believe we're back.
- I refuse to accept it.
634
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,378
I'm still coconuting.
635
00:20:35,422 --> 00:20:36,771
This is filled with coffee.
636
00:20:36,814 --> 00:20:37,815
It is very hot.
637
00:20:37,859 --> 00:20:39,252
Coconut is not a good insulator.
638
00:20:39,295 --> 00:20:41,123
No, it's not.
639
00:20:41,167 --> 00:20:42,559
- Captain.
- Peralta, Santiago,
640
00:20:42,603 --> 00:20:44,126
how was the end of the honeymoon?
641
00:20:44,170 --> 00:20:45,475
It was amazing.
642
00:20:45,519 --> 00:20:47,651
Not to brag, but I saw a sea turtle.
643
00:20:47,695 --> 00:20:49,001
Kind of sounds like you're bragging, babe.
644
00:20:49,044 --> 00:20:50,480
- I was.
- It looked right at me.
645
00:20:50,524 --> 00:20:52,047
- How'd it go here?
- Did you contact the mayor?
646
00:20:52,091 --> 00:20:53,875
Yes. I voiced my concerns
as soon as I got back.
647
00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:55,790
He heard me out, and he's put John Kelly's
648
00:20:55,833 --> 00:20:57,705
"vigilant policing"
initiative under review.
649
00:20:57,748 --> 00:21:00,316
Way to go, No Hoots Holt.
650
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,057
- Was Kelly pissed?
- Very much so.
651
00:21:02,101 --> 00:21:04,973
To retaliate, he closed the
bottom floor of the Nine-Nine
652
00:21:05,017 --> 00:21:06,366
for renovations indefinitely.
653
00:21:06,409 --> 00:21:08,020
Everyone's been moved to our bullpen.
654
00:21:08,063 --> 00:21:09,543
Wait. What?
655
00:21:09,586 --> 00:21:11,762
Prepare yourselves.
656
00:21:12,589 --> 00:21:15,462
The Nine-Nine is at war with the NYPD.
657
00:21:17,725 --> 00:21:19,553
Ay caramba.
658
00:21:19,596 --> 00:21:21,772
- Not a doctor.
- Shh.
659
00:21:21,816 --> 00:21:23,861
Fremulon.