1
00:00:04,173 --> 00:00:05,575
[snoring]
2
00:00:05,993 --> 00:00:07,125
[gasps]
3
00:00:07,537 --> 00:00:08,994
[whispers] It's happening again.
4
00:00:09,178 --> 00:00:11,429
Rosa, Rosa, Hitchcock fell
asleep in the break room.
5
00:00:11,464 --> 00:00:13,217
I pranked him.
I tied his shoelaces together.
6
00:00:13,253 --> 00:00:14,239
You're 38 years old, dude.
7
00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:16,167
I know, and yet my pranks
still stay so fresh.
8
00:00:16,202 --> 00:00:17,168
It's incredible.
9
00:00:17,203 --> 00:00:19,237
You gotta untie his shoes
before he gets hurt.
10
00:00:19,272 --> 00:00:20,906
Look, seriously?
11
00:00:20,941 --> 00:00:22,908
- Seriously.
- [groans] Fine.
12
00:00:23,054 --> 00:00:24,743
But what's the worst thing
that could happen?
13
00:00:24,778 --> 00:00:25,477
[gasping]
14
00:00:25,512 --> 00:00:26,845
He's being strangled to death!
15
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:27,913
How?
16
00:00:28,058 --> 00:00:30,916
[upbeat music]
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00:00:30,951 --> 00:00:37,856
♪ ♪
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00:00:42,077 --> 00:00:46,077
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
19
00:00:47,967 --> 00:00:49,500
[light funky music]
20
00:00:49,535 --> 00:00:50,934
[sighs]
21
00:00:53,205 --> 00:00:56,007
- So you still annoyed?
- Yes.
22
00:00:56,042 --> 00:00:57,708
You can't keep saying "mischief managed"
23
00:00:57,743 --> 00:00:59,143
after we finish sex.
24
00:00:59,178 --> 00:01:00,191
It's what Harry Potter says
25
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,816
when he needs to clear
the Marauder's Map.
26
00:01:01,852 --> 00:01:04,115
Obviously, I know that,
but I would prefer
27
00:01:04,150 --> 00:01:06,283
to keep wizard terms
out of our sex life.
28
00:01:06,318 --> 00:01:07,652
But what we're doing is magical.
29
00:01:07,687 --> 00:01:09,047
We're making a baby.
30
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[sighs]
31
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Wait, why'd you stop the elevator?
32
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Look, I know you're excited,
and I am too,
33
00:01:15,161 --> 00:01:16,668
but I really don't want to talk
34
00:01:16,704 --> 00:01:19,008
about us trying to get pregnant
while we're at work.
35
00:01:19,126 --> 00:01:20,782
You haven't said anything
to Charles, right?
36
00:01:20,818 --> 00:01:22,383
No, and it's killing me.
37
00:01:22,419 --> 00:01:24,399
I still don't get why you can
tell Rosa but I can't tell him.
38
00:01:24,435 --> 00:01:25,468
Rosa's low key.
39
00:01:25,504 --> 00:01:26,537
Charles can be low key.
40
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So how was everyone's weekend?
41
00:01:28,229 --> 00:01:29,473
Oh, uh, we bought a couch.
42
00:01:29,508 --> 00:01:31,575
Hoo-hoo, tell me everything!
43
00:01:31,916 --> 00:01:33,752
Okay, fine, he can be a bit much.
44
00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:35,746
But don't worry.
45
00:01:35,781 --> 00:01:38,086
I have a plan that guarantees
I'm not gonna tell him.
46
00:01:38,529 --> 00:01:39,782
I've cut him out of my life completely.
47
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That doesn't seem sustainable.
48
00:01:40,953 --> 00:01:43,087
Yeah, well, so far, it's working
49
00:01:43,122 --> 00:01:44,454
and it's foolproof, so...
50
00:01:44,489 --> 00:01:45,526
Morning!
51
00:01:45,724 --> 00:01:47,434
- Jake, can I talk to you for a second?
- Mm-hmm.
52
00:01:47,470 --> 00:01:49,126
I feel like we haven't
hung out in forever.
53
00:01:49,162 --> 00:01:50,643
Oh, is that so? I didn't realize.
Is that the case?
54
00:01:50,679 --> 00:01:51,995
You wanna get a drink
after work tonight?
55
00:01:52,030 --> 00:01:54,230
I'm dying to tell you about
Genevieve's new shampoo.
56
00:01:54,265 --> 00:01:55,265
[whispers] It's edible.
57
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:56,632
Oh, wow, that sounds so fun,
58
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:59,969
but I actually... can't
because I have plans
59
00:02:00,004 --> 00:02:02,238
with Ted Crap... It's a friend of Amy's.
60
00:02:02,273 --> 00:02:04,618
The point is, I'm unavailable
for a very real reason.
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00:02:04,654 --> 00:02:05,696
Jake!
62
00:02:05,944 --> 00:02:07,110
- Oh, my God, is that...
- Boyle!
63
00:02:07,145 --> 00:02:08,278
It does sound like...
64
00:02:08,313 --> 00:02:10,747
[gasping] It's me, Adrian Pimento.
65
00:02:10,783 --> 00:02:11,849
Yeah, we know.
66
00:02:11,885 --> 00:02:12,950
Hi, Adrian. How are you?
67
00:02:12,986 --> 00:02:15,148
Very bad, someone's trying to kill me.
68
00:02:15,586 --> 00:02:17,253
Before we wrap up this briefing,
69
00:02:17,288 --> 00:02:19,011
I wanted to give a few shout-outs.
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00:02:19,424 --> 00:02:21,490
Diaz, great job on that B&E.
71
00:02:21,525 --> 00:02:24,160
You are a good cop
with a great attitude.
72
00:02:24,195 --> 00:02:26,229
- I don't like this.
- Santiago, when I think
73
00:02:26,264 --> 00:02:29,933
of your CompStat reports,
one word comes to mind: wow.
74
00:02:29,968 --> 00:02:32,768
And that "WOW" is an acronym
for "wow, oh, wow."
75
00:02:32,803 --> 00:02:34,170
- What is happening?
- He's buttering us up
76
00:02:34,205 --> 00:02:36,802
before giving us some
devastatingly bad news.
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00:02:36,838 --> 00:02:39,045
- My God, Jake and Charles are dead.
- [all gasp]
78
00:02:39,081 --> 00:02:40,776
Jake and Charles are not dead.
79
00:02:40,811 --> 00:02:41,978
It's worse than that.
80
00:02:42,013 --> 00:02:43,746
We have to do our annual HR seminar
81
00:02:43,781 --> 00:02:45,247
on workplace conflict tomorrow.
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00:02:45,282 --> 00:02:46,415
- [all groan]
- What? Already?
83
00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:48,183
I know. I know.
84
00:02:48,218 --> 00:02:50,586
These seminars are not exactly
our favorite things.
85
00:02:50,621 --> 00:02:51,687
Question: if I get shot
86
00:02:51,722 --> 00:02:53,155
in the line of duty, can I miss it?
87
00:02:53,190 --> 00:02:54,289
Legally, you still have to make it up.
88
00:02:54,324 --> 00:02:55,324
Well, there goes that plan.
89
00:02:55,359 --> 00:02:58,080
Sir, it's a seminar
that's too boring for me.
90
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,212
I'm saying no to a seminar.
91
00:03:00,248 --> 00:03:02,163
Look, it's mandatory,
it's not up for debate,
92
00:03:02,199 --> 00:03:03,299
but we'll get through it
93
00:03:03,335 --> 00:03:04,932
'cause we're the best squad in the city
94
00:03:05,469 --> 00:03:07,970
with the nicest hair, the kindest eyes.
95
00:03:08,005 --> 00:03:10,171
He's buttering us up again,
so more bad news is coming.
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00:03:11,141 --> 00:03:12,708
HR said they're sending a funny guy.
97
00:03:12,743 --> 00:03:14,377
- [all groan]
- No!
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00:03:14,812 --> 00:03:17,780
All I know is, I woke up
in a pool of my own blood
99
00:03:17,815 --> 00:03:20,215
next to a metal chair
that had a dent in it
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00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:22,386
the same shape as my head.
101
00:03:22,422 --> 00:03:23,552
What were you doing before the attack?
102
00:03:23,587 --> 00:03:25,654
I was sitting in said
metal chair watching
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00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:27,990
the season two premiere
of "The Masked Singer."
104
00:03:28,025 --> 00:03:30,960
The Egg had just gone,
and I'm pretty sure I know who it is,
105
00:03:30,995 --> 00:03:31,928
Sara Gilbert.
106
00:03:31,964 --> 00:03:33,896
- That doesn't make any sense.
- Are you kidding?
107
00:03:33,931 --> 00:03:35,663
You don't think I know
how Darlene walks?
108
00:03:35,698 --> 00:03:36,798
No, no, no, no, I'm sure you do,
109
00:03:36,833 --> 00:03:39,701
it's just "The Masked Singer"
ended four months ago.
110
00:03:39,736 --> 00:03:41,302
I still can't believe
that the Bowl of Ramen
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00:03:41,337 --> 00:03:42,370
wasn't Dikembe Mutombo.
112
00:03:42,405 --> 00:03:43,371
Four month... no, no, no.
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I watched this last night.
114
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,791
- That doesn't make any...
- [dramatic musical flourish]
115
00:03:46,943 --> 00:03:48,319
Where am I?
116
00:03:48,778 --> 00:03:50,745
- What is that table?
- Calm down.
117
00:03:50,780 --> 00:03:53,180
You're at the nine-nine,
and you know what a table is.
118
00:03:53,215 --> 00:03:54,716
I don't remember coming here.
How did I get here?
119
00:03:54,751 --> 00:03:55,934
Oh, my God.
120
00:03:56,719 --> 00:03:58,520
Pimento has "Memento" disease.
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Your memory is resetting
122
00:04:00,089 --> 00:04:01,949
like the guy from the movie "Memento."
123
00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:03,992
- What?
- You guys never saw "Memento"?
124
00:04:04,027 --> 00:04:05,827
It's the guy with no short-term memory,
125
00:04:05,862 --> 00:04:07,428
you know,
Christopher Nolan's first movie.
126
00:04:07,463 --> 00:04:09,163
Is it like Dory from "Finding Dory,"
127
00:04:09,198 --> 00:04:10,323
she keeps forgetting
where she's swimming?
128
00:04:10,359 --> 00:04:12,767
- No, no, it's like...
- Dory, yeah, yeah, yeah!
129
00:04:12,802 --> 00:04:14,669
I'm like the forgetful little fish.
130
00:04:14,704 --> 00:04:16,407
- Ah.
- Oh, I mean, yeah, it's like that,
131
00:04:16,443 --> 00:04:17,872
- but it's also like...
- Just keep swimming!
132
00:04:17,907 --> 00:04:19,707
- That's what Dory says.
- Classic Dory, Jake!
133
00:04:19,742 --> 00:04:21,009
Ugh, you guys really ruined
134
00:04:21,044 --> 00:04:22,544
the coolness of this "Memento" thing.
135
00:04:22,579 --> 00:04:24,012
Also, Jake, "Following"
136
00:04:24,047 --> 00:04:25,580
is Christopher Nolan's first movie.
137
00:04:25,615 --> 00:04:27,747
You sound like a grade A
[bleep] out here.
138
00:04:28,650 --> 00:04:29,783
What's up, squad?
139
00:04:29,818 --> 00:04:33,020
Hope y'all like condiments
because I got all the sauce.
140
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:33,987
Huh?
141
00:04:34,022 --> 00:04:35,889
I arrested a tween shoplifter yesterday,
142
00:04:35,924 --> 00:04:38,259
and she was real cool at talking.
143
00:04:38,294 --> 00:04:41,027
I love you, Amy, but maybe
slang isn't your thing.
144
00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:42,896
[chuckles] Whatevs.
145
00:04:42,931 --> 00:04:44,631
Check it: I got a copy
146
00:04:44,666 --> 00:04:47,180
of last year's workplace
conflict presentation.
147
00:04:47,216 --> 00:04:49,937
All we have to do
is study the crap out of it,
148
00:04:49,972 --> 00:04:51,572
then we can answer every question
149
00:04:51,607 --> 00:04:54,041
before that tool from HR even asks it.
150
00:04:54,276 --> 00:04:55,476
We'll be done in no time.
151
00:04:55,511 --> 00:04:57,878
So your solution for getting
us out of the boring seminar
152
00:04:57,913 --> 00:05:00,047
is having us memorize
the boring seminar.
153
00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:01,071
Exactly.
154
00:05:01,107 --> 00:05:02,637
It's genius, and it's fun.
155
00:05:02,774 --> 00:05:04,402
I love committing things to memory.
156
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:05,957
Yeah, I'm out. I don't do homework.
157
00:05:05,993 --> 00:05:07,321
You do now.
158
00:05:07,356 --> 00:05:10,057
- Get busy, ya flope.
- Flope?
159
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:12,225
It means loser, okay? It's new slang.
160
00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:14,528
People are saying it! The tween said so!
161
00:05:14,663 --> 00:05:16,096
It just doesn't make any sense.
162
00:05:16,131 --> 00:05:18,565
I mean, you love "The Dark Knight,"
you love "Inception,"
163
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,467
and you haven't even seen "Memento"?
164
00:05:20,502 --> 00:05:21,802
Jake, I don't know what to tell ya.
165
00:05:21,838 --> 00:05:23,336
I spend a lot of time
in jungles, you know.
166
00:05:23,371 --> 00:05:25,072
They don't exactly get movies like that.
167
00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:27,273
It's usually big blockbusters
like "Finding Dory."
168
00:05:27,308 --> 00:05:28,909
486 million domestic.
169
00:05:28,944 --> 00:05:31,244
When you factor in
international, 1.2 billion.
170
00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:33,680
Look, Adrian, we don't
have a ton to go off on here.
171
00:05:33,715 --> 00:05:34,848
What else has been
going on in your life?
172
00:05:34,883 --> 00:05:35,916
Normal stuff.
173
00:05:35,951 --> 00:05:37,417
Ooh, I got hired as a PI
174
00:05:37,452 --> 00:05:39,185
by the Countess Luann
from "Real Housewives."
175
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:42,122
I ended up sleeping with her
in a tiny hotel Jacuzzi.
176
00:05:42,157 --> 00:05:43,924
I also microwaved a watermelon
177
00:05:43,959 --> 00:05:45,123
just to see if it would explode.
178
00:05:45,159 --> 00:05:46,759
Okay, this is immediately unhelpful,
179
00:05:46,795 --> 00:05:49,462
but did the watermelon explode?
180
00:05:49,497 --> 00:05:51,031
It just cracked and got hot.
181
00:05:51,066 --> 00:05:52,588
- Oh.
- Total bust.
182
00:05:52,624 --> 00:05:53,767
Hey, maybe one of your PI cases
183
00:05:53,802 --> 00:05:54,667
is the reason you got attacked.
184
00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:56,769
I thought of that too, but I doubt it.
185
00:05:56,804 --> 00:05:59,105
You know, they're all the same,
kinda boring.
186
00:05:59,140 --> 00:06:02,608
It's some redheaded lady wants
me to hack her husband's phone
187
00:06:02,643 --> 00:06:05,711
to see if he's cheating with
a spin instructor named Kendra.
188
00:06:05,746 --> 00:06:06,731
It seems a little specific
189
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,347
that they would all
be like that, but okay.
190
00:06:08,382 --> 00:06:09,299
[high-pitched beeping]
191
00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:10,588
Where is that coming from?
192
00:06:10,624 --> 00:06:12,217
Oh, my God, there's a bomb in my chest!
193
00:06:12,252 --> 00:06:13,886
- What?
- They put a bomb in my chest!
194
00:06:13,921 --> 00:06:15,320
- What do we do?
- [screaming]
195
00:06:15,355 --> 00:06:17,890
[beeping speeds up]
196
00:06:17,925 --> 00:06:19,659
Wait a second, the sound's
coming from my little watch.
197
00:06:19,694 --> 00:06:20,960
[laughs]
198
00:06:20,995 --> 00:06:22,662
You just assumed
there was a bomb inside you?
199
00:06:22,697 --> 00:06:25,729
It says, "Take pill, right jacket Po"...
200
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,888
I've never seen these before in my life.
201
00:06:29,870 --> 00:06:31,503
This was filled three days ago.
202
00:06:31,538 --> 00:06:34,505
[gasps] This doctor must be
treating you for your...
203
00:06:34,540 --> 00:06:36,307
"Finding Dory" Disease,
204
00:06:36,342 --> 00:06:38,476
that's what most people call
anterograde amnesia.
205
00:06:38,511 --> 00:06:39,844
BOTH: Just keep swimming.
206
00:06:39,879 --> 00:06:41,680
Exactly, that's what I tell my patients,
207
00:06:41,715 --> 00:06:42,814
just keep swimming.
208
00:06:42,849 --> 00:06:44,983
So what do you think
caused Pimento's memory loss?
209
00:06:45,018 --> 00:06:46,985
Probably years of repeated head trauma.
210
00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:48,766
I've been working as a neurologist
211
00:06:48,802 --> 00:06:52,090
for over two decades,
and I have never seen a patient
212
00:06:52,125 --> 00:06:53,892
with more traumatic head injuries.
213
00:06:53,927 --> 00:06:55,060
Well, doesn't look so bad.
214
00:06:55,095 --> 00:06:57,317
- The red is the good parts.
- Oh, my God.
215
00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:58,697
Oh, I guess it does make sense.
216
00:06:58,732 --> 00:06:59,931
Pimento lives pretty hard.
217
00:07:00,039 --> 00:07:01,199
I locked my keys in the car again.
218
00:07:01,234 --> 00:07:02,867
I guess I'll have to smash the window.
219
00:07:02,902 --> 00:07:04,495
Actually, I got a hammer in my car.
220
00:07:04,531 --> 00:07:06,404
[glass explodes]
221
00:07:06,439 --> 00:07:07,572
Come on, everybody knows
222
00:07:07,607 --> 00:07:09,340
the skull is the hammer of the body.
223
00:07:09,375 --> 00:07:10,675
Yeah, that's not true.
224
00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:11,875
What? Really?
225
00:07:11,910 --> 00:07:14,044
Okay, well, then this is on me.
226
00:07:14,079 --> 00:07:15,879
Look, this morning,
Pimento was screaming
227
00:07:15,914 --> 00:07:17,181
about someone trying to kill him.
228
00:07:17,216 --> 00:07:18,585
Has he said anything like that to you?
229
00:07:18,621 --> 00:07:20,784
He has, but I've seen him
every day for weeks,
230
00:07:20,820 --> 00:07:22,581
and I haven't noticed any new injuries,
231
00:07:22,617 --> 00:07:25,623
but the medication he's on
may be making him paranoid.
232
00:07:25,658 --> 00:07:26,924
- Really? Because he doesn't...
- [high-pitched beeping]
233
00:07:26,959 --> 00:07:28,859
[screams] There's a bomb in my chest!
234
00:07:28,894 --> 00:07:30,027
- [screams]
- [beeping speeds up]
235
00:07:30,062 --> 00:07:31,497
Right, he does keep doing that.
236
00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:32,963
[light funky music]
237
00:07:32,998 --> 00:07:33,964
Hey, it was nice of you
238
00:07:33,999 --> 00:07:35,533
to let Pimento crash
at your place last night.
239
00:07:35,568 --> 00:07:36,534
How'd it go?
240
00:07:36,569 --> 00:07:37,568
Oh, well, he gave Nikolaj
241
00:07:37,603 --> 00:07:38,636
a haircut while he was asleep,
242
00:07:38,671 --> 00:07:41,439
but no weird memory stuff,
so all in all, major win.
243
00:07:41,474 --> 00:07:43,241
Great, so it sounds like
he might be getting better.
244
00:07:43,276 --> 00:07:45,042
Ah, someone's trying to kill me!
245
00:07:45,078 --> 00:07:46,201
Oh, boy, here we go again.
246
00:07:46,237 --> 00:07:48,525
- Ah, gah!
- Pimento, Pimento, Pimento!
247
00:07:48,914 --> 00:07:50,580
Don't worry. Everything's okay.
248
00:07:50,615 --> 00:07:51,782
You've had some brain trauma,
249
00:07:51,817 --> 00:07:53,050
and it caused you to lose your memory.
250
00:07:53,085 --> 00:07:54,317
You're scared that you're in danger,
251
00:07:54,352 --> 00:07:56,987
but there is no evidence that
anyone is trying to kill you.
252
00:07:57,022 --> 00:07:58,388
- You're safe.
- Wait, wait, really?
253
00:07:58,423 --> 00:08:00,389
Whew, okay.
254
00:08:00,424 --> 00:08:01,624
[chuckles] Thank you.
255
00:08:01,659 --> 00:08:03,392
I was really worried, you know,
'cause of this gunshot wound.
256
00:08:03,427 --> 00:08:05,228
Oh, my God, someone's
trying to kill you!
257
00:08:05,263 --> 00:08:07,830
What? You just told me
that wasn't the case!
258
00:08:09,534 --> 00:08:10,635
So there I am, naked,
259
00:08:10,671 --> 00:08:12,029
still holding the hedge trimmers
260
00:08:12,065 --> 00:08:14,733
when the chauffeur walks in and I say,
261
00:08:14,968 --> 00:08:16,100
"Guess you caught me red-handed."
262
00:08:16,135 --> 00:08:18,069
- Because of the blood?
- Yeah, because of the blood!
263
00:08:18,104 --> 00:08:19,070
See, you get it.
264
00:08:19,105 --> 00:08:20,539
[laughs]
265
00:08:20,574 --> 00:08:22,073
The bullet went through
your friend's shoulder.
266
00:08:22,108 --> 00:08:24,576
He should be fine,
although he does keep asking me
267
00:08:24,611 --> 00:08:26,110
if we do the "Face/Off" surgery here.
268
00:08:26,253 --> 00:08:28,020
[chuckles] And what'd you tell him?
269
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:29,279
That we don't.
270
00:08:29,315 --> 00:08:30,348
[whispers] Right.
271
00:08:31,752 --> 00:08:33,451
- She's hiding something.
- Obviously.
272
00:08:33,486 --> 00:08:35,920
Okay, Adrian, there's very
little evidence to go on,
273
00:08:35,955 --> 00:08:37,989
so we should take a look
at your PI case files.
274
00:08:38,024 --> 00:08:39,057
Don't have any.
275
00:08:39,092 --> 00:08:41,326
Keep everything right up here
in the old steel...
276
00:08:41,361 --> 00:08:42,393
Where am I?
277
00:08:42,428 --> 00:08:43,709
What is this bed?
278
00:08:43,745 --> 00:08:44,793
And his memory's resetting.
279
00:08:44,829 --> 00:08:46,193
All right, Adrian,
someone's trying to kill you.
280
00:08:46,229 --> 00:08:47,565
- Uh-huh.
- You have a memory disorder...
281
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,467
- That makes sense.
- Like in the movie "Memento."
282
00:08:49,502 --> 00:08:51,469
- I haven't seen that!
- It's like "Finding Dory."
283
00:08:51,504 --> 00:08:53,004
Oh, now I know exactly what's going on.
284
00:08:53,039 --> 00:08:54,072
Thank you, Charles.
285
00:08:54,107 --> 00:08:55,306
Okay, let's get you dressed
286
00:08:55,341 --> 00:08:56,607
and back to the precinct
where it's safe.
287
00:08:56,642 --> 00:08:57,655
Okay.
288
00:08:58,011 --> 00:08:59,477
Oh, Adrian, the back
of your gown's open.
289
00:08:59,512 --> 00:09:01,279
- Don't peek at my tushy.
- I'm not.
290
00:09:01,314 --> 00:09:03,848
Wait, since when is
your back covered in tattoos?
291
00:09:03,883 --> 00:09:04,949
It's not,
292
00:09:04,984 --> 00:09:07,228
otherwise I couldn't get buried
in a Jewish cemetery.
293
00:09:07,264 --> 00:09:08,463
- Are you Jewish?
- Not yet.
294
00:09:08,499 --> 00:09:10,901
Ooh, I should ask that nurse if
they've got a mohel on staff.
295
00:09:10,937 --> 00:09:12,522
Wait, maybe you've been getting tattoos
296
00:09:12,558 --> 00:09:14,192
to help you remember things,
like the guy in "Memento."
297
00:09:14,227 --> 00:09:15,526
Again, haven't seen it.
298
00:09:15,561 --> 00:09:17,295
No, the tattoos could be clues
299
00:09:17,330 --> 00:09:18,383
that you're leaving for yourself.
300
00:09:18,419 --> 00:09:19,485
Here, we'll step out.
301
00:09:19,521 --> 00:09:21,332
You get undressed and write
down everything you see,
302
00:09:21,367 --> 00:09:23,501
- and you're fully naked.
- Hey-oh!
303
00:09:23,536 --> 00:09:25,302
All right, well, I guess
we're looking at 'em together.
304
00:09:25,337 --> 00:09:26,336
- [light funky music]
- Hello, squad.
305
00:09:26,371 --> 00:09:27,938
My name is Brad Portenberg,
306
00:09:27,973 --> 00:09:30,971
and today I'm gonna teach you
about workplace conflict.
307
00:09:31,710 --> 00:09:34,644
So I brought along someone
who's an expert in conflict:
308
00:09:35,213 --> 00:09:36,613
my ex-wife.
309
00:09:38,317 --> 00:09:39,450
Just kidding.
310
00:09:39,485 --> 00:09:40,883
She lives in Vermont with our kids.
311
00:09:40,919 --> 00:09:43,454
So can anyone tell me
what a stereotype is?
312
00:09:43,489 --> 00:09:45,188
The Irish are potato-eating drunks.
313
00:09:45,223 --> 00:09:46,557
- And the gays...
- No, no, no,
314
00:09:46,592 --> 00:09:48,826
what does the word "stereotype" mean?
315
00:09:48,861 --> 00:09:50,494
- Uh...
- I got this, fellas.
316
00:09:50,529 --> 00:09:52,195
It's a preconceived,
often prejudiced notion
317
00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:53,431
about a group of people.
318
00:09:53,466 --> 00:09:55,699
Great, and can anyone tell me
what a protected class is?
319
00:09:55,734 --> 00:09:57,668
A group of people
with a common characteristic
320
00:09:57,703 --> 00:09:59,703
that is legally protected
from employment discrimination.
321
00:09:59,738 --> 00:10:01,255
And how many protected
classes are there?
322
00:10:01,291 --> 00:10:02,692
- 20.
- Wow.
323
00:10:02,828 --> 00:10:04,867
It seems like
I have myself a star pupil.
324
00:10:04,903 --> 00:10:06,677
Honey, you have no idea.
325
00:10:06,912 --> 00:10:09,212
"Extra ranch, no tomato, no cilantro."
326
00:10:09,247 --> 00:10:10,714
These are just a list of modifications
327
00:10:10,749 --> 00:10:12,629
on a signature salad from Panera.
328
00:10:12,665 --> 00:10:14,984
Okay, this one says, "Buy toilet paper"
329
00:10:15,019 --> 00:10:17,320
in a truly gigantic font.
330
00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:18,688
I hate to think of the horrific event
331
00:10:18,723 --> 00:10:20,490
that led to a reminder of this size.
332
00:10:20,525 --> 00:10:24,060
This says your bank account
number is 432211378,
333
00:10:24,095 --> 00:10:25,361
then just under that,
334
00:10:25,396 --> 00:10:27,029
"Someone saw this and stole your money."
335
00:10:27,064 --> 00:10:28,397
- Aw.
- Ew. [scoffs]
336
00:10:28,432 --> 00:10:30,232
This just says, "Don't trust your D."
337
00:10:30,267 --> 00:10:32,101
Okay, well, that's good advice.
338
00:10:32,136 --> 00:10:33,603
My D does get me in a lot of trouble.
339
00:10:33,638 --> 00:10:35,404
Are you sure that's what
the D stands for?
340
00:10:35,439 --> 00:10:36,539
Oh, it's for sure my dong.
341
00:10:36,574 --> 00:10:39,943
It could tell some stories:
Costa Rica in '98, Nam.
342
00:10:39,978 --> 00:10:41,444
- It's coming up.
- [high-pitched beeping]
343
00:10:41,479 --> 00:10:43,079
Oh, no, there's a bomb in my chest!
344
00:10:43,114 --> 00:10:44,180
Save yourselves!
345
00:10:44,215 --> 00:10:46,082
No, no, no, no, it's just
your little watch, okay?
346
00:10:46,117 --> 00:10:47,517
Means it's time for you
to take your pills.
347
00:10:47,552 --> 00:10:48,952
You keep them in your right coat pocket.
348
00:10:48,987 --> 00:10:50,930
Oh, okay.
349
00:10:51,322 --> 00:10:52,589
- Where's my coat?
- It's down in my car.
350
00:10:52,624 --> 00:10:54,256
Ah, I'll go get it. You stay here.
351
00:10:54,291 --> 00:10:55,424
No, no, no, your penis is out.
352
00:10:55,459 --> 00:10:56,852
- I'll go.
- Okay.
353
00:10:57,461 --> 00:11:00,394
Whew, boy, I love
that little guy, right?
354
00:11:00,430 --> 00:11:01,429
Yeah.
355
00:11:01,465 --> 00:11:02,330
[cell phone rings]
356
00:11:02,365 --> 00:11:04,032
Oh, my phone's ringing. Gotta grab it.
357
00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:05,266
- It's Amy.
- Aw, Ames!
358
00:11:05,301 --> 00:11:06,301
Put her on FaceTime.
359
00:11:06,336 --> 00:11:07,936
Wha? [scoffs] No.
360
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:10,038
- Come on!
- Hey, what's going on?
361
00:11:10,073 --> 00:11:11,640
Hey, just checking in.
362
00:11:11,675 --> 00:11:13,274
How's it going with Charles?
363
00:11:13,309 --> 00:11:15,043
I know how hard this is for you.
364
00:11:15,078 --> 00:11:16,111
Have you told him anything?
365
00:11:16,146 --> 00:11:17,278
Nope, we're still all good.
366
00:11:17,313 --> 00:11:18,413
He has no idea that we are
367
00:11:18,448 --> 00:11:20,649
growing a Whomping Willow
in your Chamber of Secrets.
368
00:11:20,684 --> 00:11:22,618
Well, I have to get back to the seminar.
369
00:11:22,653 --> 00:11:24,386
Also, you've ruined sex forever.
370
00:11:24,421 --> 00:11:25,420
Yep, I heard it.
371
00:11:25,455 --> 00:11:26,421
I don't know why I keep doing it.
372
00:11:26,456 --> 00:11:27,680
I love you. Bye. [sighs]
373
00:11:28,258 --> 00:11:29,340
What was all that about?
374
00:11:29,376 --> 00:11:31,092
Oh, I actually really can't tell you.
375
00:11:31,127 --> 00:11:32,628
No, wait a minute,
you're the only person
376
00:11:32,663 --> 00:11:33,962
that I can tell because
your brain's broken.
377
00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:35,330
Anything I say, you'll just forget.
378
00:11:35,365 --> 00:11:36,899
Well, I guess that's true.
Give it to me.
379
00:11:36,934 --> 00:11:38,266
Amy and I are trying to have a baby.
380
00:11:38,301 --> 00:11:41,269
What? Jake, that's wonderful.
381
00:11:41,304 --> 00:11:42,337
Come on, bring it in.
382
00:11:42,372 --> 00:11:44,305
I'd rather not,
but it still feels really nice
383
00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:45,641
to talk to someone about it finally.
384
00:11:45,676 --> 00:11:47,643
But I'm gonna be a dad. It's so crazy.
385
00:11:47,678 --> 00:11:49,309
Hey, don't mention this around Charles.
386
00:11:49,344 --> 00:11:51,311
[screams] Where am I?
387
00:11:51,346 --> 00:11:52,447
Oh, perfect.
388
00:11:52,682 --> 00:11:54,982
Listen, Denise,
I felt personally attacked
389
00:11:55,017 --> 00:11:57,284
when you included sesame bagels
at the bagel brunch
390
00:11:57,319 --> 00:11:58,653
knowing full well I'm allergic.
391
00:11:58,688 --> 00:11:59,854
I developed a rash.
392
00:11:59,889 --> 00:12:00,778
Says you, Ainsley.
393
00:12:00,814 --> 00:12:02,957
I believe food allergies are a hoax.
394
00:12:02,992 --> 00:12:05,927
Perhaps your rash is from
all that makeup you wear.
395
00:12:05,962 --> 00:12:09,530
This is an office,
not some downtown dancery.
396
00:12:09,565 --> 00:12:10,665
Okay, great.
397
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:13,500
Now, in this roleplay, who can
tell me what went wrong?
398
00:12:13,535 --> 00:12:15,302
Denise should have made
reasonable accommodations
399
00:12:15,337 --> 00:12:16,671
given Ainsley's medical issue.
400
00:12:16,706 --> 00:12:18,606
Ainsley unnecessarily
heightened the conflict
401
00:12:18,641 --> 00:12:20,541
by assuming that Denise
had a personal vendetta,
402
00:12:20,576 --> 00:12:21,542
and Denise shouldn't have responded
403
00:12:21,577 --> 00:12:23,711
to Ainsley's complaint
with an ad hominem attack.
404
00:12:23,746 --> 00:12:25,279
- My thoughts exactly.
- I concur.
405
00:12:25,314 --> 00:12:26,548
- Yep.
- Wow.
406
00:12:27,249 --> 00:12:28,760
I'm really disappointed...
407
00:12:29,358 --> 00:12:31,318
that I have nothing to correct you on.
408
00:12:31,353 --> 00:12:32,787
That was amazing.
409
00:12:32,822 --> 00:12:34,488
I have never had a group finish
410
00:12:34,523 --> 00:12:36,623
this entire seminar that quickly before.
411
00:12:36,658 --> 00:12:38,892
It reminds me of
a really funny joke about...
412
00:12:38,927 --> 00:12:40,194
Ha, ha, I'm laughing already.
413
00:12:40,229 --> 00:12:42,062
Great seminar, sad it's over,
414
00:12:42,097 --> 00:12:43,330
but it is, so see ya.
415
00:12:43,365 --> 00:12:44,898
Actually, I have good news.
416
00:12:44,933 --> 00:12:46,800
State law requires that this seminar
417
00:12:46,835 --> 00:12:48,402
be no less than six hours,
418
00:12:48,437 --> 00:12:50,370
so I guess we'll spend
the next two hours
419
00:12:50,405 --> 00:12:52,038
diving into specific conflicts
420
00:12:52,073 --> 00:12:54,241
about this workplace and solving them.
421
00:12:54,276 --> 00:12:55,348
But we beat you.
422
00:12:55,777 --> 00:12:57,043
We beat you with study.
423
00:12:57,078 --> 00:12:58,845
Brad, my funny friend,
424
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:00,347
we don't need this training.
425
00:13:00,382 --> 00:13:02,048
We don't have any workplace conflicts.
426
00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:05,319
Oh, there's always conflict somewhere.
427
00:13:05,354 --> 00:13:09,055
Now, it could be something
small, like a pet peeve, or...
428
00:13:09,090 --> 00:13:11,725
Hitchcock slept with my wife,
Kelly, in 1988!
429
00:13:12,316 --> 00:13:15,459
So Kelly was his wife, not his dog.
430
00:13:16,965 --> 00:13:18,832
Hey, before Charles gets back,
431
00:13:18,867 --> 00:13:20,366
there's a few more secrets I
want to say out loud to someone
432
00:13:20,401 --> 00:13:21,400
who will immediately forget them.
433
00:13:21,435 --> 00:13:22,435
- Give 'em to me.
- In 11th grade,
434
00:13:22,470 --> 00:13:24,738
I told everyone I was
going to a Megadeth concert,
435
00:13:24,773 --> 00:13:26,739
but it was actually Melissa
Etheridge, and I loved it.
436
00:13:26,775 --> 00:13:28,714
Also, one time, I ate a dog biscuit
437
00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:29,850
just to see what it tasted like.
438
00:13:29,886 --> 00:13:31,244
I get it. They're delicious.
439
00:13:31,279 --> 00:13:32,411
They're not bad.
440
00:13:32,446 --> 00:13:33,480
Oh, here comes Charles.
441
00:13:33,715 --> 00:13:35,081
Hey, man, did you get Pimento's meds?
442
00:13:35,116 --> 00:13:36,750
- Sure did.
- Aw, thanks, Chuck.
443
00:13:36,785 --> 00:13:39,919
See, this is gonna make me
feel a lot better.
444
00:13:39,954 --> 00:13:42,088
I grabbed you a water from
the hospital to wash 'em down.
445
00:13:42,123 --> 00:13:43,723
Aw, thanks, Jake.
446
00:13:43,758 --> 00:13:45,350
You're gonna make a good dad.
447
00:13:45,386 --> 00:13:47,426
I'm so glad you and Amy
are taking that step.
448
00:13:47,461 --> 00:13:49,222
What? How did you...
449
00:13:49,258 --> 00:13:50,930
What about your memory reset?
450
00:13:50,965 --> 00:13:52,699
You and Amy are trying to have a baby
451
00:13:52,734 --> 00:13:54,266
and you told Pimento and not me?
452
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,069
They've got a Panera here?
453
00:13:57,104 --> 00:14:00,539
Okay, I love their salads
exactly as they come.
454
00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:01,707
Actually, you don't.
455
00:14:01,742 --> 00:14:02,828
[gasps] Thanks, Jakey.
456
00:14:02,864 --> 00:14:04,929
See, you're gonna make a great dad.
457
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:06,878
Stop saying that!
458
00:14:08,364 --> 00:14:09,364
Hey.
459
00:14:09,940 --> 00:14:11,765
So you wanna talk about
what happened before?
460
00:14:11,801 --> 00:14:13,025
You mean the "you telling
Pimento and not me
461
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,338
that you're trying
to make a baby" thing?
462
00:14:14,374 --> 00:14:15,630
[stammers and squeaks]
463
00:14:15,666 --> 00:14:17,171
No, no, I'm totally fine.
464
00:14:17,206 --> 00:14:20,509
Hey, coffee guy, how would you
like be godfather to my son?
465
00:14:20,544 --> 00:14:22,210
Because a position just opened up.
466
00:14:22,245 --> 00:14:24,219
Okay, we're talking about this.
467
00:14:24,399 --> 00:14:26,214
Look, you're being unfair.
468
00:14:26,249 --> 00:14:27,382
There's some things in my life with Amy
469
00:14:27,417 --> 00:14:28,469
that are just between her and me,
470
00:14:28,505 --> 00:14:29,866
and I need you to be okay with that.
471
00:14:29,979 --> 00:14:31,178
Fine.
472
00:14:31,487 --> 00:14:33,014
You're right. I get it.
473
00:14:33,356 --> 00:14:34,890
I mean, it's not like
you told anyone else.
474
00:14:34,925 --> 00:14:36,069
Right.
475
00:14:37,027 --> 00:14:38,174
I mean...
476
00:14:39,696 --> 00:14:40,729
We told Rosa.
477
00:14:40,764 --> 00:14:42,296
Rosa, that dud?
478
00:14:42,331 --> 00:14:43,553
Oh, why her and not me?
479
00:14:43,589 --> 00:14:45,133
Sometimes you can be a little much.
480
00:14:45,168 --> 00:14:47,536
A little much? A little much!
481
00:14:47,571 --> 00:14:49,202
Yes, a little much.
482
00:14:49,237 --> 00:14:51,997
Well, maybe, Jake, I have
"Finding Dory" Disease too
483
00:14:52,033 --> 00:14:53,140
because right now,
484
00:14:53,175 --> 00:14:55,308
I can't remember
why we ever were friends!
485
00:14:55,343 --> 00:14:57,477
Okay, see, once again,
that was a little over the top.
486
00:14:57,512 --> 00:15:01,582
Excuse me, my godson's dad,
the crazy guy just ran away.
487
00:15:01,617 --> 00:15:03,050
Oh, my God, he's gone.
488
00:15:03,085 --> 00:15:04,852
- Pimento is gone.
- Just like our friendship!
489
00:15:04,887 --> 00:15:05,789
Come on, Charles.
490
00:15:05,825 --> 00:15:07,487
Well, I've got a bean to boil too.
491
00:15:07,522 --> 00:15:10,724
Santiago always tries
to finish my sentences
492
00:15:10,759 --> 00:15:12,092
and frequently gets it wrong.
493
00:15:12,127 --> 00:15:14,161
I do not, and I am not wrong.
494
00:15:14,196 --> 00:15:16,430
- You do it all the...
- Time?
495
00:15:16,465 --> 00:15:19,458
No, I was going to say,
"All the day long."
496
00:15:19,494 --> 00:15:20,701
See? Frequently wrong.
497
00:15:20,736 --> 00:15:23,703
I dogsat for Scully,
and he never thanked me.
498
00:15:23,973 --> 00:15:25,072
Kelly was a real handful.
499
00:15:25,107 --> 00:15:26,440
Wait, I'm confused again.
500
00:15:26,475 --> 00:15:28,542
- Kelly was a dog?
- There were two Kellys.
501
00:15:28,577 --> 00:15:31,111
You'd know that if you'd
ever listened to my podcast.
502
00:15:31,146 --> 00:15:32,245
Okay, dude, just relax.
503
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,380
Don't tell us to relax
504
00:15:33,415 --> 00:15:35,616
just because you're too nice
to have any pet peeves.
505
00:15:35,651 --> 00:15:36,917
Oh, Terry's got peeves.
506
00:15:36,952 --> 00:15:39,553
Terry hates the way you always
make mouth noises when you eat.
507
00:15:39,588 --> 00:15:42,021
Nom, nom, I'm Rosa.
I'm eating a croissant.
508
00:15:42,057 --> 00:15:43,056
Nom, nom.
509
00:15:43,091 --> 00:15:44,691
How's this for a mouth noise? You suck.
510
00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:45,758
No, you suck!
511
00:15:45,793 --> 00:15:47,460
As do you, as do you and you!
512
00:15:47,495 --> 00:15:49,729
Oh, yeah? Well,
you're all a bunch of flopes.
513
00:15:49,764 --> 00:15:51,230
- Flopes?
- This is the flope right here.
514
00:15:51,265 --> 00:15:54,533
[all shouting indistinctly]
515
00:15:54,568 --> 00:15:55,586
Okay, all right.
516
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,638
Okay, guys, that is our six hours.
517
00:15:58,673 --> 00:16:00,372
The seminar is over.
518
00:16:00,407 --> 00:16:02,208
I'm really proud of you guys,
519
00:16:02,243 --> 00:16:04,374
lots of good progress here today.
520
00:16:04,410 --> 00:16:05,443
You're welcome.
521
00:16:05,513 --> 00:16:08,245
I'm Detective Boyle.
This is my partner, Jake.
522
00:16:08,515 --> 00:16:10,884
You probably think it's weird
that I said partner and not friend.
523
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:11,985
- Not at all.
- Well, the point is
524
00:16:12,020 --> 00:16:13,820
that we're strictly colleagues.
525
00:16:13,855 --> 00:16:14,988
Have you seen this man?
526
00:16:15,311 --> 00:16:17,657
Yeah, he was here a few
hours ago for a new tattoo.
527
00:16:17,692 --> 00:16:18,649
It was supposed to say,
528
00:16:18,685 --> 00:16:19,792
"Jake and Amy are trying
to have a baby."
529
00:16:19,827 --> 00:16:21,494
- Seriously?
- Aw.
530
00:16:21,529 --> 00:16:22,804
Wait a minute, what do you mean
"supposed to"?
531
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,230
He jumped out of the chair
before I could finish,
532
00:16:24,265 --> 00:16:25,665
second time it's happened.
533
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:27,700
First time, he left with a tat
that said, "Don't trust your D."
534
00:16:27,735 --> 00:16:29,435
- That wasn't the whole tattoo?
- No.
535
00:16:29,470 --> 00:16:31,158
He wanted it to say,
"Don't trust your doctor."
536
00:16:31,332 --> 00:16:32,501
Oh, my God.
537
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:35,007
Pimento's doctor is trying to kill him.
538
00:16:35,042 --> 00:16:36,475
He must have remembered something
539
00:16:36,510 --> 00:16:37,409
when he stopped taking his pills.
540
00:16:37,444 --> 00:16:38,896
The pills are what's messing
with his memory.
541
00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:40,446
We have to find him
before his doctor does.
542
00:16:40,481 --> 00:16:42,014
- Oh, I know where he's going.
- You do? Where?
543
00:16:42,049 --> 00:16:43,115
Said he's going to his doctor.
544
00:16:43,150 --> 00:16:44,157
Oh.
545
00:16:45,651 --> 00:16:46,642
Thanks.
546
00:16:48,055 --> 00:16:50,356
Detectives, good to see you again.
547
00:16:50,391 --> 00:16:52,258
Oh, I see, the villain playing it cool
548
00:16:52,293 --> 00:16:53,825
when confronted by the good guys,
549
00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:56,295
just like Javier Bardem
in "No Country for Old Men."
550
00:16:58,232 --> 00:16:59,931
Do you guys only watch kids' movies?
551
00:16:59,966 --> 00:17:03,636
Whatever you're insinuating,
I assure you, you're incorrect.
552
00:17:03,671 --> 00:17:05,284
Cut the crap, Doc. We know everything.
553
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,306
That's right,
your wife hired Pimento as a PI
554
00:17:07,341 --> 00:17:08,840
to find out if you were cheating on her
555
00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:11,143
with your spin class instructor, Kendra.
556
00:17:11,178 --> 00:17:12,178
And you were,
557
00:17:12,213 --> 00:17:14,280
so you silenced Pimento
before he could tell her
558
00:17:14,315 --> 00:17:15,714
by drugging him to ruin his memory.
559
00:17:15,749 --> 00:17:17,448
- Now where is he?
- I haven't see him.
560
00:17:17,483 --> 00:17:19,384
Oh, please, you're making
this way too easy.
561
00:17:19,419 --> 00:17:20,819
You clearly just glanced at this door.
562
00:17:20,854 --> 00:17:22,187
Don't. He's not in there.
563
00:17:22,222 --> 00:17:24,156
Oh, really? Because I'm
pretty sure that he...
564
00:17:24,191 --> 00:17:25,323
isn't.
565
00:17:25,358 --> 00:17:26,291
But he clearly was.
566
00:17:26,326 --> 00:17:28,226
Jake, help!
567
00:17:28,261 --> 00:17:29,338
Pimento.
568
00:17:29,696 --> 00:17:33,065
[exciting music]
569
00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:34,032
Got him.
570
00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:35,200
Help!
571
00:17:35,235 --> 00:17:36,545
Jake, what's happening?
572
00:17:36,581 --> 00:17:37,568
What is this ledge?
573
00:17:37,604 --> 00:17:39,237
You must have tried
to escape out the window
574
00:17:39,272 --> 00:17:40,706
and then your memory reset.
575
00:17:40,741 --> 00:17:42,007
What? I don't understand.
576
00:17:42,042 --> 00:17:43,374
Why would my memory reset?
577
00:17:43,409 --> 00:17:45,084
It's just like the film...
578
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,433
"Finding Dory."
579
00:17:48,469 --> 00:17:50,381
- Huh?
- "Finding Dory."
580
00:17:50,416 --> 00:17:51,382
Ah, say no more!
581
00:17:51,417 --> 00:17:53,185
I completely understand!
582
00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:54,753
Just stay where you are.
I'm gonna come get you.
583
00:17:54,788 --> 00:17:55,754
Okay.
584
00:17:56,089 --> 00:17:57,388
Should I go over here?
585
00:17:57,423 --> 00:17:58,690
No, why would you go over there?
586
00:17:58,725 --> 00:17:59,857
I don't know!
587
00:17:59,892 --> 00:18:01,593
I just woke up out here!
588
00:18:01,628 --> 00:18:02,573
Just stay still!
589
00:18:02,609 --> 00:18:04,262
Ah, I don't know what to do!
590
00:18:04,297 --> 00:18:06,598
Okay, all right. Here I come.
591
00:18:06,633 --> 00:18:07,637
Here I come.
592
00:18:07,673 --> 00:18:09,166
Uh, I'm scared of heights, Jake.
593
00:18:09,201 --> 00:18:11,544
Yeah, so am I, Adrian.
594
00:18:11,580 --> 00:18:12,825
This might not be the time to tell you,
595
00:18:12,861 --> 00:18:15,453
but both my parents died
falling out of lighthouses,
596
00:18:15,742 --> 00:18:16,834
separate incidents.
597
00:18:16,870 --> 00:18:18,109
Oh, man, I have so many questions,
598
00:18:18,144 --> 00:18:20,077
but for now, just follow my lead, okay?
599
00:18:20,112 --> 00:18:22,213
- Okay.
- Take small little baby steps,
600
00:18:22,248 --> 00:18:23,348
like this.
601
00:18:23,383 --> 00:18:25,116
[wind howling]
602
00:18:25,322 --> 00:18:26,354
You're not moving!
603
00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:27,390
I'm not?
604
00:18:27,820 --> 00:18:29,340
Oh, uh-oh.
605
00:18:30,045 --> 00:18:31,254
This is bad.
606
00:18:32,484 --> 00:18:34,155
Huh, I'm really scared, Jake.
607
00:18:34,191 --> 00:18:35,962
- I'm really scared.
- Yeah, I know,
608
00:18:35,998 --> 00:18:38,950
just try and look at one thing
and focus only on that
609
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:40,484
until I can get Charles
out here to help.
610
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:41,586
Okay, okay.
611
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,055
Ooh, there's a juicy
old person butt in that window.
612
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,123
Why's it gotta be juicy and old?
613
00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:48,056
I don't know, but I'm grateful for it.
614
00:18:48,092 --> 00:18:49,783
All right, just lock in on that.
615
00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:51,996
Hey, Charles, I know
you're still mad at me
616
00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:53,530
for not telling you
Amy and I are trying,
617
00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:54,698
but I could really use your help.
618
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,066
That's not all I'm mad about, Jake.
619
00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:58,001
I'm upset because
you keep blowing me off.
620
00:18:58,036 --> 00:18:59,869
We haven't hung out in weeks.
621
00:18:59,904 --> 00:19:01,405
We don't talk on the phone anymore.
622
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,807
I can't remember the last time
we painted pottery together.
623
00:19:03,842 --> 00:19:06,710
Sorry, I know this isn't
the time to talk about this.
624
00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:08,011
No, no, no, keep going.
625
00:19:08,046 --> 00:19:09,213
It's helping to distract me
from the fact
626
00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:10,880
that I could fall and instantly die.
627
00:19:10,915 --> 00:19:12,882
Oh, no, from this height,
it wouldn't be instant.
628
00:19:12,917 --> 00:19:15,252
When you hit the ground,
your ribs would shatter,
629
00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:16,586
puncturing your lungs.
630
00:19:16,921 --> 00:19:20,023
You'd start to drown on
your own blood, gurgling and...
631
00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:21,225
Okay, Adrian, I'm being distracted
632
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:22,392
by Charles right now, thank you.
633
00:19:22,427 --> 00:19:23,427
Okay.
634
00:19:23,462 --> 00:19:24,528
Here, take... take my hand.
635
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:25,895
I can guide you guys back.
636
00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:28,231
Come on, we're a chain. Here we go.
637
00:19:28,266 --> 00:19:30,165
- Just keep swimming.
- Oh, just keep swimming.
638
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,533
- Just keep swimming.
- Oh, say it, Jake.
639
00:19:31,568 --> 00:19:32,901
[wind howling]
640
00:19:32,936 --> 00:19:33,902
[quietly] Just keep swimming.
641
00:19:33,937 --> 00:19:35,203
- Good.
- Oh!
642
00:19:35,238 --> 00:19:36,204
Hey, just so you know,
643
00:19:36,239 --> 00:19:37,740
the only reason
that I've been avoiding you
644
00:19:37,775 --> 00:19:39,108
is because I really wanted to tell you
645
00:19:39,143 --> 00:19:40,009
what me and Amy have been up to,
646
00:19:40,044 --> 00:19:41,576
and I knew the second that I saw you,
647
00:19:41,611 --> 00:19:42,577
I would just blurt it out.
648
00:19:42,612 --> 00:19:43,912
I always tell you everything.
649
00:19:43,947 --> 00:19:45,547
I hated not being able to say anything.
650
00:19:45,582 --> 00:19:46,915
Aw, that's so sweet.
651
00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:49,918
Your love for each other
is really wonderful.
652
00:19:49,953 --> 00:19:51,459
Let's hug. Let's all hug.
653
00:19:51,495 --> 00:19:52,755
Oh, no, no, no,
we're still on the ledge!
654
00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:53,889
[all scream]
655
00:19:54,223 --> 00:19:56,858
[light funky music]
656
00:19:56,894 --> 00:20:00,062
♪ ♪
657
00:20:00,097 --> 00:20:02,464
[sighs] Okay, this sucks.
658
00:20:02,499 --> 00:20:05,267
We never fight,
and then stupid Brad comes in
659
00:20:05,302 --> 00:20:06,769
and turns us all against each other
660
00:20:06,804 --> 00:20:08,370
and now we're acting
like a bunch of kids.
661
00:20:08,405 --> 00:20:09,437
Not all kids.
662
00:20:09,472 --> 00:20:10,605
My girls never act like this.
663
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:11,807
We may be arguing,
664
00:20:11,842 --> 00:20:13,332
but we're all thinking the same thing:
665
00:20:13,977 --> 00:20:15,243
Terry talks about his children too much.
666
00:20:15,278 --> 00:20:17,146
Do I really? You all think that?
667
00:20:17,181 --> 00:20:18,781
Keep a lid on the box, Pandora.
668
00:20:18,816 --> 00:20:19,782
You won't like what's inside.
669
00:20:19,817 --> 00:20:21,050
Everybody, shut up.
670
00:20:21,085 --> 00:20:22,784
You're all acting
like a bunch of Ramonas.
671
00:20:22,819 --> 00:20:24,452
- Ramona?
- Yeah, she hated the smell
672
00:20:24,487 --> 00:20:26,721
of her coworker's holiday
candle, so she threw it out.
673
00:20:26,756 --> 00:20:28,290
It was in that thing
that you made us memorize.
674
00:20:28,505 --> 00:20:29,722
You memorized it?
675
00:20:29,825 --> 00:20:31,959
But you said it was homework
and you don't do homework.
676
00:20:31,994 --> 00:20:33,795
Yeah, well, you said
to read it, so I read it.
677
00:20:33,830 --> 00:20:35,463
We're a team, ya flope.
678
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,844
- It's catching on.
- Eh, I mean...
679
00:20:39,269 --> 00:20:41,040
Hey, guys, it's me, Adrian Pimento.
680
00:20:41,076 --> 00:20:43,305
Hey, Pimento, how's it going, bud?
681
00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:45,073
Pretty good, I know where I am,
682
00:20:45,108 --> 00:20:48,009
and I know what a table is,
so everything's going great.
683
00:20:48,044 --> 00:20:50,144
Pretty low bar for greatness,
but all right.
684
00:20:50,179 --> 00:20:52,280
Hey, how's it been since you
stopped taking those pills?
685
00:20:52,315 --> 00:20:55,142
Well, thankfully,
my full memory has come back,
686
00:20:55,612 --> 00:20:57,209
even the things that haunt me.
687
00:21:00,357 --> 00:21:03,424
[laughs]
688
00:21:07,697 --> 00:21:09,864
Hey, Jake, I saw that movie
you keep talking about.
689
00:21:09,899 --> 00:21:12,367
You watched "Memento"?
And what'd you think?
690
00:21:12,402 --> 00:21:13,353
It's okay.
691
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:26,699
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