1
00:00:02,781 --> 00:00:04,406
Charles, this is exciting.
2
00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:06,637
Medal of Valor.
I know!
3
00:00:06,846 --> 00:00:08,006
For getting shot in the butt.
4
00:00:10,345 --> 00:00:12,742
Oh, my butt.
5
00:00:13,410 --> 00:00:16,499
For exceptional acts of heroism or
voluntary risk of personal safety.
6
00:00:16,675 --> 00:00:17,935
But you know, six of one.
7
00:00:18,442 --> 00:00:20,532
This is one of the NYPD's
highest honors.
8
00:00:20,874 --> 00:00:22,567
Today is your day,
Detective Boyle.
9
00:00:24,173 --> 00:00:26,603
Heroism can't be measured
by a piece of metal,
10
00:00:26,938 --> 00:00:27,938
but what else can we do
11
00:00:28,137 --> 00:00:29,762
to recognize the brave officers
12
00:00:29,970 --> 00:00:31,868
that have put
their lives on the line.
13
00:00:32,369 --> 00:00:33,369
It is my great honor
14
00:00:33,535 --> 00:00:34,898
to present the Medal of Valor
15
00:00:35,401 --> 00:00:36,832
to Detective Charles Boyle.
16
00:00:39,499 --> 00:00:40,896
And Sergeant Peanut Butter!
17
00:00:49,628 --> 00:00:50,651
Oh, my God!
18
00:00:50,728 --> 00:00:52,750
Charles is getting
the same medal as a horse.
19
00:00:53,126 --> 00:00:54,751
At least, Boyle was
announced first.
20
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,584
Because the horse outranks him!
21
00:00:56,892 --> 00:00:59,289
This is amazing!
That's enough, Peralta.
22
00:00:59,457 --> 00:01:02,082
This is a huge honor, and nothing
can take that away from him.
23
00:01:02,256 --> 00:01:03,687
The horse is pooping
on the stage.
24
00:01:04,289 --> 00:01:06,129
Sergeant Peanut Butter
is pooping on the stage!
25
00:01:30,312 --> 00:01:32,072
Peralta.
Santiago.
26
00:01:32,476 --> 00:01:34,066
The bet ends today.
Are you ready?
27
00:01:34,243 --> 00:01:35,640
I was born ready.
To lose?
28
00:01:35,709 --> 00:01:37,299
The whole question was,
"Are you ready to lose?"
29
00:01:37,374 --> 00:01:38,567
And you said you were
born that way.
30
00:01:38,741 --> 00:01:40,172
Twist my words all you want...
Okay.
31
00:01:40,407 --> 00:01:41,566
I'm winning this bet.
No.
32
00:01:41,806 --> 00:01:43,446
What bet? What are you guys
talking about?
33
00:01:43,506 --> 00:01:44,506
Seriously?
34
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,560
The bet? They've been
keeping score all year.
35
00:01:46,637 --> 00:01:48,727
It comes up all the time.
What are you doing all day?
36
00:01:49,237 --> 00:01:50,997
Nothing.
Why, you wanna hang out?
37
00:01:51,169 --> 00:01:53,157
A year ago today,
Peralta and I made a bet
38
00:01:53,235 --> 00:01:54,555
to prove
who's a better detective.
39
00:01:54,901 --> 00:01:56,866
Whoever makes more felony
arrests wins.
40
00:01:57,567 --> 00:01:59,429
What are the stakes?
And don't say money,
41
00:01:59,499 --> 00:02:00,964
because I know you're in debt.
42
00:02:01,065 --> 00:02:03,155
If you really knew
anything about me,
43
00:02:03,231 --> 00:02:04,560
you would've said
"crushing debt."
44
00:02:04,664 --> 00:02:06,864
And I'll bet whatever, 'cause
there's no way I'm losing.
45
00:02:06,995 --> 00:02:08,927
What about your car?
Oh!
46
00:02:09,528 --> 00:02:10,857
That thing
is a date-magnet.
47
00:02:10,961 --> 00:02:13,242
I mean, how many girls have you
made out with in that car?
48
00:02:13,359 --> 00:02:15,824
Six? Well, I'm gonna
win, so, sure.
49
00:02:15,959 --> 00:02:16,959
Let's bet the car.
50
00:02:17,025 --> 00:02:18,718
No, no, no Jake.
Yes.
51
00:02:18,825 --> 00:02:21,153
No, Jakey. No!
That car is your superpower.
52
00:02:21,657 --> 00:02:23,178
Thor would never wager
his hammer.
53
00:02:23,355 --> 00:02:24,378
Neil Patrick Harris
54
00:02:24,455 --> 00:02:26,010
would never wager
his showmanship!
55
00:02:26,087 --> 00:02:27,882
Losing that car will be the worst
thing in the world for you.
56
00:02:27,954 --> 00:02:30,475
Well, what's the worst thing in
the world for you, Santiago?
57
00:02:30,753 --> 00:02:32,479
Being one of those girls
in Jake's car.
58
00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:35,073
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Then it is settled.
59
00:02:35,484 --> 00:02:38,040
If Peralta loses,
Santiago gets his car.
60
00:02:38,483 --> 00:02:39,573
If Santiago loses,
61
00:02:39,649 --> 00:02:41,671
she goes for a date in said car.
62
00:02:41,915 --> 00:02:43,210
Game on.
Game on.
63
00:02:44,446 --> 00:02:46,036
Wow, your handshake
is quite firm.
64
00:02:46,180 --> 00:02:47,872
I took a seminar.
Where?
65
00:02:48,179 --> 00:02:49,735
And now the score
is all tied up.
66
00:02:50,677 --> 00:02:51,677
But not for long.
67
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,671
For, in eight hours,
I will win the bet
68
00:02:53,943 --> 00:02:55,340
and take Santiago
on the worst date
69
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:56,635
in the history of the world.
70
00:02:57,375 --> 00:02:58,397
Attention.
71
00:02:58,541 --> 00:03:00,901
After today's shift, I'd like
everyone to join me at the bar
72
00:03:00,940 --> 00:03:02,905
for drinks in honor
of Detective Boyle
73
00:03:03,305 --> 00:03:04,430
and his Medal of Valor.
74
00:03:04,638 --> 00:03:06,501
Oh, my God, is Peanut Butter
gonna be there?
75
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,693
That horse is a damn hero.
76
00:03:08,803 --> 00:03:10,325
Peanut Butter will
not be joining us.
77
00:03:10,469 --> 00:03:12,196
He's being feted
by the United Nations.
78
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:14,234
As you were.
79
00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,463
Pen!
You! Ow!
80
00:03:18,099 --> 00:03:20,587
Rolly chair! Gina's desk!
Oh, Jake!
81
00:03:20,665 --> 00:03:21,665
No!
82
00:03:25,029 --> 00:03:26,029
Captain, hey.
83
00:03:26,428 --> 00:03:28,417
You're looking stoic today.
Like a...
84
00:03:28,895 --> 00:03:30,258
Wise old oak.
85
00:03:30,660 --> 00:03:34,023
I'm not gonna give you more cases so
you can win your bet with Santiago.
86
00:03:34,259 --> 00:03:36,349
What? Oh, right, the bet.
87
00:03:36,725 --> 00:03:37,845
I totally forgot about that.
88
00:03:37,957 --> 00:03:40,117
Well, granted, this friendly
competition has led to you
89
00:03:40,157 --> 00:03:41,713
and Santiago putting in
more hours
90
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,148
and arresting more perps.
91
00:03:43,355 --> 00:03:44,446
Especially this last week.
92
00:03:45,387 --> 00:03:46,683
Up by one, Peralta!
93
00:03:47,454 --> 00:03:51,350
Anything you wanna say to your car
before you never see it again? Hmm?
94
00:03:52,085 --> 00:03:53,107
Hey, Santiago.
95
00:03:53,184 --> 00:03:56,144
Do you have any dietary restrictions
that Medieval Times should know about?
96
00:03:56,682 --> 00:03:59,772
Yes, 311? What's the safest
way to set a car on fire?
97
00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:02,379
Oh? Hmm.
98
00:04:02,781 --> 00:04:04,769
Both of you have done
exemplary work,
99
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:05,902
which I appreciate.
100
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,976
And I can see that by the absolutely
no indicators on your face.
101
00:04:09,277 --> 00:04:10,708
However, you are colleagues.
102
00:04:10,910 --> 00:04:12,807
And the fallout from this bet
has the potential to put
103
00:04:12,876 --> 00:04:14,932
a strain on your
professional relationship.
104
00:04:15,208 --> 00:04:16,208
Only if I lose.
105
00:04:16,641 --> 00:04:17,641
I'm a terrible sport.
106
00:04:17,874 --> 00:04:19,554
Cases will be assigned
as they usually are.
107
00:04:20,006 --> 00:04:21,006
Dismissed.
108
00:04:26,903 --> 00:04:28,233
Captain! You look...
109
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:29,302
No!
110
00:04:33,034 --> 00:04:35,726
Rosa, hey, would you like to
share a cup of coffee with me?
111
00:04:35,999 --> 00:04:37,726
I got some gorgeous
new coffee beans.
112
00:04:38,098 --> 00:04:39,223
Sure. That sounds great.
113
00:04:39,498 --> 00:04:41,338
Isn't that like your fifth
cup of coffee today?
114
00:04:41,697 --> 00:04:44,560
I'm trying to counteract the
drowsiness from my pain meds.
115
00:04:44,863 --> 00:04:47,589
I took a double dose after the
incident at the ceremony.
116
00:04:48,294 --> 00:04:49,623
Bring Peanut Butter forward.
117
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:51,160
Forward.
118
00:04:51,793 --> 00:04:54,088
Uh, can the little guy take
a big step back, please?
119
00:04:54,291 --> 00:04:55,382
My name is Charles Boyle.
120
00:04:55,525 --> 00:04:57,285
I won the same medal
as this horse!
121
00:04:59,623 --> 00:05:01,850
The footage from my fall
led the local news, so...
122
00:05:02,288 --> 00:05:03,608
Who's the hero now,
Peanut Butter?
123
00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:04,721
Peanut Butter.
124
00:05:04,987 --> 00:05:06,316
Gina...
125
00:05:06,754 --> 00:05:10,276
You're just trying to hurt me to distract
yourself from your own internal pain.
126
00:05:10,918 --> 00:05:13,145
Also, you should use
less conditioner,
127
00:05:13,218 --> 00:05:15,046
because this is a flat mess.
128
00:05:17,482 --> 00:05:18,562
What's going on with Boyle?
129
00:05:18,582 --> 00:05:20,070
His pain meds are making
him weird.
130
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:23,143
Oh! Okay. Yes.
131
00:05:23,313 --> 00:05:26,437
This happened to my dad when he
got his vasectomy unreversed.
132
00:05:26,911 --> 00:05:29,001
You get all relaxed
and you have no filter,
133
00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:31,508
and you just start dropping
truth bombs on everyone.
134
00:05:31,909 --> 00:05:33,169
Oh. That explains
the elevator.
135
00:05:35,441 --> 00:05:37,081
I'm worried you don't
find me interesting.
136
00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:40,537
I'm gonna pretend someone texted me.
Bloop!
137
00:05:44,204 --> 00:05:46,033
Gina, please, keep an eye
on Boyle today.
138
00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:48,662
He's gonna say something to the wrong
person and get himself punched.
139
00:05:48,802 --> 00:05:50,528
Sure. I'd love to see
Charles get punched.
140
00:05:50,868 --> 00:05:51,868
Try again.
141
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,297
I will stop Charles
from getting punched.
142
00:05:54,567 --> 00:05:55,567
Correct.
143
00:05:55,766 --> 00:05:56,766
Great.
144
00:05:57,898 --> 00:05:59,591
Ladies and gentlemen,
145
00:05:59,664 --> 00:06:03,096
I present Carl Laudson,
who stole $3,000!
146
00:06:03,629 --> 00:06:05,753
Santiago takes the lead
with one minute left!
147
00:06:06,261 --> 00:06:07,261
Suck it, Peralta!
148
00:06:07,527 --> 00:06:08,686
Oh, no.
That's right.
149
00:06:08,860 --> 00:06:09,860
"Oh, no!"
150
00:06:10,127 --> 00:06:12,115
Oh, no. You don't seem worried.
Why aren't you worried?
151
00:06:12,193 --> 00:06:13,351
Bring in the johns!
152
00:06:14,258 --> 00:06:16,120
I ran a prostitution
sting through Vice,
153
00:06:16,191 --> 00:06:17,985
and arrested 30 guys
for soliciting.
154
00:06:18,156 --> 00:06:19,156
That's not a felony.
155
00:06:19,223 --> 00:06:20,415
It is when it's your
second offense.
156
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,110
Which is the case
for 10 of these gentlemen.
157
00:06:23,288 --> 00:06:24,288
Fun fact,
158
00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:26,283
four of them
are actually named John.
159
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:27,553
Ironic.
160
00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:29,845
Anyhoo, 10 more for Peralta.
Accept your fate!
161
00:06:30,318 --> 00:06:31,476
Never!
Five,
162
00:06:31,784 --> 00:06:34,011
four, three,
163
00:06:34,183 --> 00:06:35,240
two...
Oh!
164
00:06:35,316 --> 00:06:36,316
One!
165
00:06:36,382 --> 00:06:37,439
Jake wins!
166
00:06:37,515 --> 00:06:38,673
Amy loses!
167
00:06:39,448 --> 00:06:43,572
Celebrate good times Come on!
168
00:06:46,045 --> 00:06:47,045
Look!
169
00:06:47,378 --> 00:06:51,172
Celebrate good times Come on!
Whoo!
170
00:06:52,109 --> 00:06:53,199
Amy Santiago,
171
00:06:54,008 --> 00:06:56,030
you have made me the
happiest man on Earth.
172
00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:58,899
I spent one whole dollar
on this ring.
173
00:06:58,972 --> 00:07:00,835
Will you go on the worst
date ever with me?
174
00:07:00,905 --> 00:07:02,064
You have to say yes!
175
00:07:02,871 --> 00:07:03,893
Yes.
176
00:07:03,970 --> 00:07:06,958
She said yes!
She said yes!
177
00:07:07,036 --> 00:07:08,036
This is for you.
178
00:07:08,102 --> 00:07:10,624
...your party with you
Come on now!
179
00:07:16,465 --> 00:07:17,624
Amy Santiago!
180
00:07:18,231 --> 00:07:19,231
Date time!
181
00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:20,330
Time to date!
182
00:07:20,530 --> 00:07:22,688
Peralta, this outfit
is ridiculous.
183
00:07:23,029 --> 00:07:26,269
Chop, chop. There's plenty of embarrassing
to do and only a few hours to do it in.
184
00:07:29,726 --> 00:07:31,248
Happy?
Oh, yeah.
185
00:07:31,792 --> 00:07:34,814
You look like every girl at every
Bat Mitzvah I ever had a crush on.
186
00:07:35,490 --> 00:07:36,887
Let's see the bow.
187
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:38,745
Just like Jenny Gildenhorn.
188
00:07:39,322 --> 00:07:40,548
Why do I wish you had braces?
189
00:07:40,889 --> 00:07:42,689
Should we get you braces?
No, that's too much.
190
00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:44,021
Here I come.
191
00:07:46,186 --> 00:07:47,412
Nice shorts.
Thank you.
192
00:07:47,485 --> 00:07:49,365
Believe it or not, they
were not very expensive.
193
00:07:49,785 --> 00:07:50,943
Do I really have
to wear this all night?
194
00:07:51,151 --> 00:07:53,615
You know the rules. The date
starts now and ends at midnight.
195
00:07:53,683 --> 00:07:55,875
I decide what you wear, what
you eat, and where we go.
196
00:07:56,249 --> 00:07:57,249
Oh!
197
00:07:57,314 --> 00:07:58,394
And there is one more rule.
198
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:01,071
No matter what happens,
199
00:08:02,312 --> 00:08:03,992
you're not allowed
to fall in love with me.
200
00:08:04,779 --> 00:08:05,835
Won't be a problem.
201
00:08:10,942 --> 00:08:13,532
Detective Boyle, I just wanted
to say congratulations.
202
00:08:13,741 --> 00:08:14,933
Your medal was well deserved.
203
00:08:15,307 --> 00:08:16,307
Thank you, sir.
204
00:08:16,473 --> 00:08:17,473
Your breath is terrible.
205
00:08:17,673 --> 00:08:19,036
Charles, can I speak with you?
206
00:08:19,838 --> 00:08:21,599
Hey, where's Rosa?
207
00:08:21,871 --> 00:08:23,131
I haven't seen her all night.
208
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:24,810
Did you know my wife
pays me alimony?
209
00:08:24,836 --> 00:08:26,495
Okay, let's take a seat.
210
00:08:26,802 --> 00:08:28,842
I'm gonna keep an eye on you
all night, little buddy.
211
00:08:28,868 --> 00:08:29,868
Okay. Thanks!
212
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:30,968
Hey, baby.
213
00:08:31,034 --> 00:08:33,295
Hey, baby, happy you made it!
214
00:08:33,932 --> 00:08:36,124
Captain, I'd like you
to meet my wife, Sharon.
215
00:08:36,332 --> 00:08:37,490
Oh, it's so wonderful
to meet you.
216
00:08:37,564 --> 00:08:38,790
I've heard such
great things about you.
217
00:08:38,864 --> 00:08:40,886
And you. Your husband
is a real hero.
218
00:08:41,763 --> 00:08:43,955
If you ask me, he should've been up
there with Detective Boyle today.
219
00:08:44,228 --> 00:08:45,228
What for?
220
00:08:45,428 --> 00:08:46,825
For saving my life.
221
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,921
He means metaphorically,
you know.
222
00:08:50,126 --> 00:08:51,751
Saving him from
all that paperwork.
223
00:08:51,825 --> 00:08:53,551
Paper cuts
are a slow death, baby.
224
00:08:53,791 --> 00:08:55,313
No, I was referring to how
he threw his body
225
00:08:55,391 --> 00:08:57,871
at an emotionally disturbed
criminal who was trying to kill me.
226
00:08:58,223 --> 00:08:59,245
No!
227
00:09:02,254 --> 00:09:03,254
He did what?
228
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,551
Are you back in the field?
229
00:09:08,685 --> 00:09:10,274
Oh. I have caused a problem.
230
00:09:11,283 --> 00:09:13,271
I think I am...
231
00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:15,373
Getting a text message.
232
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:18,336
Bloop! Ah, there it is.
233
00:09:20,713 --> 00:09:22,302
Why is this the first
I'm hearing about this?
234
00:09:22,379 --> 00:09:23,708
I thought I told you.
235
00:09:24,145 --> 00:09:26,235
Uh, remember when
you were half asleep,
236
00:09:26,378 --> 00:09:28,938
watching the news and the babies
were crying and I said real low,
237
00:09:29,309 --> 00:09:31,070
"Hey, baby, I'm back in the field.
You want something to eat?"
238
00:09:31,142 --> 00:09:32,368
And you were like, "What?"
And I was like,
239
00:09:32,541 --> 00:09:34,665
"You want something to eat?"
And you said, "Sure."
240
00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:36,635
And I got you an oatmeal cookie.
241
00:09:37,473 --> 00:09:38,495
Remember?
242
00:09:38,605 --> 00:09:41,002
You are a piece of work,
Terrance.
243
00:09:42,371 --> 00:09:43,461
Oh, damn.
244
00:09:43,937 --> 00:09:44,993
She called me Terrance.
245
00:09:45,069 --> 00:09:46,069
I'm doomed.
246
00:09:50,034 --> 00:09:51,862
Hot date, comin' through.
247
00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:53,793
Hey, attention, everyone!
248
00:09:54,565 --> 00:09:58,360
Now, I know that tonight
is Boyle's big night.
249
00:09:59,930 --> 00:10:02,360
But let's forget about that
completely for a moment,
250
00:10:02,729 --> 00:10:03,729
and admire,
251
00:10:03,828 --> 00:10:06,725
and comment on every
terrible aspect of this.
252
00:10:09,959 --> 00:10:11,239
Permission to go
to the bathroom?
253
00:10:11,359 --> 00:10:13,483
Granted. First of three.
Use them wisely.
254
00:10:15,523 --> 00:10:16,523
Hey!
255
00:10:17,155 --> 00:10:19,382
Congrats again, buddy,
I really am proud of you.
256
00:10:20,154 --> 00:10:21,314
Still wearing the medal, huh?
257
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:23,010
Yes, I want women to be
impressed by me.
258
00:10:23,653 --> 00:10:25,141
All right.
259
00:10:25,619 --> 00:10:27,448
Well, I'm sorry that I
can't stay, but I have
260
00:10:27,518 --> 00:10:29,142
a terrible night planned
for Amy.
261
00:10:29,517 --> 00:10:31,641
First up,
is the mall photo studio
262
00:10:31,717 --> 00:10:33,477
where we'll take our
official date portrait.
263
00:10:33,616 --> 00:10:35,047
The picture will be
the two of us
264
00:10:35,215 --> 00:10:36,475
playing one saxophone.
265
00:10:36,814 --> 00:10:37,871
Then...
266
00:10:37,947 --> 00:10:40,105
Some peel-and-eat shrimp for
dinner at a dangerously
267
00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:41,338
cheap seafood restaurant.
268
00:10:41,645 --> 00:10:44,610
And then I've contracted
a youth choir to serenade us.
269
00:10:45,477 --> 00:10:47,567
Santiago!
270
00:10:47,643 --> 00:10:49,403
Santiago!
271
00:10:49,475 --> 00:10:50,475
Santiago!
272
00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:51,542
Santiago!
273
00:10:51,608 --> 00:10:54,073
You suck so bad
274
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:55,240
Yes!
275
00:10:55,607 --> 00:10:58,197
They'll sing to her at midnight
in the middle of Times Square.
276
00:10:58,538 --> 00:11:00,367
She and 500 German tourists
277
00:11:00,637 --> 00:11:02,330
will savor that memory
for all times.
278
00:11:02,769 --> 00:11:05,893
Jake, do you know why little boys pull
little girls' pigtails on playgrounds?
279
00:11:06,135 --> 00:11:07,191
'Cause they're so easy to grab,
280
00:11:07,268 --> 00:11:08,588
they're just begging
to be pulled.
281
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:09,896
Because they like the girls
282
00:11:09,967 --> 00:11:12,367
and that's the only way they
know how to get their attention.
283
00:11:12,566 --> 00:11:13,566
What are you saying?
284
00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:15,494
All of this teasing,
this elaborate date...
285
00:11:15,798 --> 00:11:17,457
Somewhere down deep,
you like Amy.
286
00:11:17,563 --> 00:11:18,722
Like, "like her," like her.
287
00:11:19,063 --> 00:11:20,688
Okay, that's
straight-up insanity.
288
00:11:21,095 --> 00:11:22,415
How much did you spend
on tonight?
289
00:11:22,528 --> 00:11:24,618
$1,400, but all of it's
on credit card.
290
00:11:24,794 --> 00:11:26,918
So it's like $5 a month
for the next 2,000 years.
291
00:11:26,993 --> 00:11:27,993
I do not like Amy!
292
00:11:28,359 --> 00:11:29,790
You're putting a lot
of effort into a joke.
293
00:11:29,858 --> 00:11:31,880
Why don't you just sit down and
have a real conversation with her?
294
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:33,091
Okay, Boyle,
295
00:11:33,490 --> 00:11:35,530
you live in your ex-wife's
new boyfriend's basement.
296
00:11:36,389 --> 00:11:37,629
I'm not taking advice from you.
297
00:11:40,054 --> 00:11:42,020
I'm ashamed
of my living situation!
298
00:11:43,019 --> 00:11:44,019
Rosa?
299
00:11:44,186 --> 00:11:46,480
Why are you sequestered
over by this old cell phone?
300
00:11:46,851 --> 00:11:48,407
I'm avoiding Boyle
and his truth bombs.
301
00:11:49,183 --> 00:11:51,115
I sometimes worry
I'm gonna become you.
302
00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:54,808
He keeps saying he wants
to talk to me.
303
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,601
I'm afraid he's going
to tell me he loves me
304
00:11:56,814 --> 00:11:58,094
or propose marriage
or something.
305
00:11:58,213 --> 00:12:00,871
Oh, my God, that makes me
kinda wanna cry.
306
00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:02,292
He dove in front of
those bullets
307
00:12:02,711 --> 00:12:03,711
for me.
308
00:12:03,778 --> 00:12:04,778
I can't be mean to him.
309
00:12:05,743 --> 00:12:08,299
I watched him make coffee
for 28 minutes this morning.
310
00:12:08,776 --> 00:12:10,071
But I also can't lead him on.
311
00:12:10,242 --> 00:12:13,002
Captain Holt told me not to
let him get hurt tonight,
312
00:12:13,073 --> 00:12:14,353
so, I'll keep him away from you.
313
00:12:17,438 --> 00:12:18,461
Have you seen Rosa?
314
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,127
Rosa died eight years ago.
315
00:12:20,571 --> 00:12:21,627
Come on.
316
00:12:21,703 --> 00:12:22,703
Let's get you a drink.
317
00:12:23,503 --> 00:12:24,729
Uh, excuse me, everyone!
318
00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:29,126
Santiago and I will be performing the
steerage jig from the film Titanic,
319
00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:32,291
which we have prepared for
in no way, shape, or form.
320
00:12:32,831 --> 00:12:33,831
Romantic.
321
00:12:33,898 --> 00:12:35,056
No. Embarrassing.
322
00:12:35,131 --> 00:12:36,154
Milady.
323
00:12:42,794 --> 00:12:44,419
Do the spinning!
I hate your guts.
324
00:12:44,594 --> 00:12:46,684
Channel that passion
into the dance.
325
00:12:46,825 --> 00:12:48,552
Peralta!
Scully. Tag in.
326
00:12:48,759 --> 00:12:50,019
Okay!
Keep spinning.
327
00:12:50,824 --> 00:12:51,824
Yes?
328
00:12:51,924 --> 00:12:52,912
One of our informants
just called.
329
00:12:53,156 --> 00:12:55,213
We've been tracking a crew that
lifts cargo out of LaGuardia.
330
00:12:55,489 --> 00:12:56,977
The CI knows where
the trucks unload,
331
00:12:57,055 --> 00:12:58,655
so I need you to stake
out the drop site.
332
00:12:58,854 --> 00:12:59,854
Oh...
333
00:13:00,054 --> 00:13:02,883
Sir, I'm right in the middle of
this date and I cannot reschedule.
334
00:13:03,085 --> 00:13:05,482
I have far, far too
many nonrefundable deposits.
335
00:13:05,884 --> 00:13:07,747
I'm renting a tiger cub
by the hour.
336
00:13:08,083 --> 00:13:09,412
For what?
Don't even know.
337
00:13:09,683 --> 00:13:10,739
Waiting for inspiration.
338
00:13:10,815 --> 00:13:12,576
Well, this is not
a negotiation. So...
339
00:13:12,881 --> 00:13:13,881
Go!
340
00:13:14,247 --> 00:13:16,167
All right, fine. But I'm
taking Santiago with me.
341
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,100
As soon as we're done
it's back to the date.
342
00:13:19,046 --> 00:13:20,046
Darling.
343
00:13:20,245 --> 00:13:22,301
Brief pause. Duty calls.
Oh, thank God.
344
00:13:25,176 --> 00:13:26,176
Gina, tag in?
345
00:13:26,242 --> 00:13:28,366
No. Not even
if it would cure cancer.
346
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:29,765
Okay.
347
00:13:36,205 --> 00:13:38,137
Look, baby, I'm sorry.
348
00:13:38,571 --> 00:13:40,593
But Captain's life
was in danger.
349
00:13:41,236 --> 00:13:42,758
I just did what I had to do.
350
00:13:43,235 --> 00:13:45,098
It was an impulse decision.
351
00:13:45,901 --> 00:13:47,301
Well, I guess
I can understand that.
352
00:13:48,567 --> 00:13:49,567
Sharon?
353
00:13:50,232 --> 00:13:51,255
I have to apologize.
354
00:13:51,332 --> 00:13:52,456
I want to assure you that
355
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,460
the call to put Sergeant
Jeffords back in the field
356
00:13:54,531 --> 00:13:56,019
wasn't a spur of the moment,
357
00:13:56,264 --> 00:13:57,286
impulse decision.
358
00:13:57,796 --> 00:14:00,226
It's been in the works
for a few months now.
359
00:14:01,461 --> 00:14:03,483
Terry said it just happened.
360
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,984
I think you two need to get
your stories straight.
361
00:14:09,957 --> 00:14:12,888
Perhaps I should stop
talking to your wife.
362
00:14:13,090 --> 00:14:15,554
That's a good call, Captain.
363
00:14:16,221 --> 00:14:17,221
Sharon!
364
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,285
I'm so happy to be
out of that dress.
365
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:22,746
It was weirdly hot.
366
00:14:22,819 --> 00:14:25,841
Oh, yeah, that's probably because
it was a cotton and plastic blend.
367
00:14:26,217 --> 00:14:27,274
But, not to worry,
368
00:14:27,351 --> 00:14:28,838
we're gonna catch these guys
and get back to
369
00:14:28,916 --> 00:14:30,109
the worst date of your life.
370
00:14:30,315 --> 00:14:31,315
Mmm, no.
371
00:14:31,415 --> 00:14:34,176
Nothing will ever be worse than the
date I had with my aunt's dentist.
372
00:14:34,780 --> 00:14:35,900
You should try some of this.
373
00:14:36,579 --> 00:14:37,579
Okay.
374
00:14:38,379 --> 00:14:39,605
Oh, okay. Hold on.
375
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:40,745
Wait...
Huh?
376
00:14:40,944 --> 00:14:42,603
Yeah, dessert is out
of the question.
377
00:14:44,810 --> 00:14:46,010
What was your worst date ever?
378
00:14:46,243 --> 00:14:47,832
I think it's like
a fifty-way tie.
379
00:14:48,841 --> 00:14:52,499
The last lady I went out with burst into
tears when I told her I was a Gemini.
380
00:14:53,772 --> 00:14:54,828
Wow.
381
00:14:55,038 --> 00:14:56,518
Hey, those people
left that door open.
382
00:14:57,037 --> 00:14:59,037
I bet there's a better
vantage point from the roof.
383
00:14:59,136 --> 00:15:01,658
Hmm. And I bet it doesn't
smell like old cheese.
384
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,358
Okay, that's hurtful.
385
00:15:03,935 --> 00:15:05,195
Shall we?
Yeah.
386
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,865
So, what else don't I know?
387
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,756
You cooking meth?
Are you Breaking Bad?
388
00:15:09,132 --> 00:15:10,563
How many phones do you have?
389
00:15:10,732 --> 00:15:13,697
I'm sorry. I need to clarify
something I said earlier.
390
00:15:13,930 --> 00:15:16,088
Sergeant Jeffords
was correct when he said
391
00:15:16,163 --> 00:15:19,356
that his choice to go back in the field
that night was an impulse decision.
392
00:15:19,761 --> 00:15:22,555
He didn't even take the time to
stop and gear up. So... What?
393
00:15:22,926 --> 00:15:24,119
You didn't have your vest on?
394
00:15:24,726 --> 00:15:25,726
Oh, no!
395
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,084
Oh, goodness.
I shouldn't have said that.
396
00:15:28,358 --> 00:15:30,255
I feel I may have made things worse.
Wait!
397
00:15:30,990 --> 00:15:32,013
I can fix this, Ray.
398
00:15:32,089 --> 00:15:33,748
Now's not the time, Boyle.
Hush!
399
00:15:34,022 --> 00:15:35,022
I wanna hear this.
400
00:15:35,121 --> 00:15:36,441
Boyle, let's not make big...
Hush!
401
00:15:36,754 --> 00:15:37,754
Truth time.
402
00:15:38,653 --> 00:15:39,653
We love your husband.
403
00:15:39,886 --> 00:15:40,886
He's a great cop.
404
00:15:41,119 --> 00:15:42,479
We will do anything
to protect him.
405
00:15:43,152 --> 00:15:45,117
And you have incredibly
attractive hands.
406
00:15:45,384 --> 00:15:46,384
And you!
407
00:15:46,450 --> 00:15:48,330
What the hell are you doing,
lying to your wife?
408
00:15:48,683 --> 00:15:50,375
Unless you wanna end up
moving into my ex-wife's
409
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:51,811
new boyfriend's
basement with me,
410
00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:53,171
you better man up!
411
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:54,870
Don't you ever keep anything
412
00:15:54,947 --> 00:15:56,378
from this beautiful woman again!
413
00:15:57,112 --> 00:15:58,372
Seriously, you are beautiful.
414
00:15:58,445 --> 00:15:59,910
Oh!
If he ever lies to you again,
415
00:16:00,078 --> 00:16:01,078
you can call me.
416
00:16:03,210 --> 00:16:04,301
I'm sorry, honey.
417
00:16:04,809 --> 00:16:05,933
I just didn't want you to worry.
418
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:08,235
Baby, I am always
gonna worry about you.
419
00:16:08,774 --> 00:16:10,094
But if you feel like
you're ready,
420
00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:11,935
then get your ass back
in the field. But...
421
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:14,595
If you ever keep
anything from me again,
422
00:16:14,672 --> 00:16:15,830
I will leave you
423
00:16:16,004 --> 00:16:18,804
for this short earnest man and his
ex-wife's new boyfriend's apartment.
424
00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:22,132
I know you're kidding, but Hercules
is actually a very good landlord.
425
00:16:22,435 --> 00:16:24,195
Sometimes when they
go on nice vacations,
426
00:16:24,434 --> 00:16:25,674
I'm allowed to use the hot tub.
427
00:16:29,132 --> 00:16:31,926
Man, I don't know how Batman does it.
It is super scary up here.
428
00:16:32,231 --> 00:16:34,526
Hey, will you grab the binoculars?
They're in my stakeout bag.
429
00:16:34,597 --> 00:16:37,289
Your stakeout bag is 98% nuts.
430
00:16:37,829 --> 00:16:38,919
I get snacky.
431
00:16:39,094 --> 00:16:41,525
Besides, nuts are super healthy.
They're like 0% fat.
432
00:16:42,327 --> 00:16:43,724
Jake, that's not true at all.
433
00:16:43,793 --> 00:16:45,280
It's actually the opposite.
434
00:16:45,358 --> 00:16:47,755
What? That nut vendor
lied to me.
435
00:16:50,956 --> 00:16:52,819
I think a pigeon just
flew out of your car.
436
00:16:52,923 --> 00:16:55,183
Yeah, the windows
don't exactly roll up.
437
00:16:55,754 --> 00:16:57,050
The car's a piece of crap.
438
00:16:57,353 --> 00:16:58,648
Why do you love it so much?
439
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,108
You really want to know?
440
00:17:02,951 --> 00:17:05,280
I was two days out of the
academy, super nervous.
441
00:17:05,350 --> 00:17:07,710
I saw this guy run out of a
bodega clutching a bunch of cash.
442
00:17:07,749 --> 00:17:09,544
So, I pursued him, on foot.
443
00:17:09,782 --> 00:17:10,782
Eleven blocks.
444
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,170
Finally catch him, cuff him,
445
00:17:13,647 --> 00:17:16,010
throw him up against that car.
446
00:17:16,813 --> 00:17:18,778
Turned out there was a "for
sale" sign in the window.
447
00:17:18,845 --> 00:17:21,071
And, it being the best day
of my life, I bought it.
448
00:17:22,343 --> 00:17:23,706
Thus, began the debt.
449
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:25,233
"Crushing debt."
450
00:17:26,308 --> 00:17:27,308
Yeah. You do know me.
451
00:17:27,908 --> 00:17:28,908
Nut?
452
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,330
Only if you throw it.
453
00:17:30,406 --> 00:17:32,530
Ready? Ready?
Mmm-hmm.
454
00:17:33,905 --> 00:17:34,928
Nice.
455
00:17:35,571 --> 00:17:36,571
Ready?
Uh-huh.
456
00:17:41,902 --> 00:17:42,958
What are you doing?
457
00:17:43,634 --> 00:17:44,964
Trying to catch it in your nose?
458
00:17:45,033 --> 00:17:47,157
I got it. I got it. I got it.
459
00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,194
All right. It's Holt.
Keep practicing.
460
00:17:49,265 --> 00:17:50,265
Okay.
461
00:17:50,864 --> 00:17:52,454
Peralta.
Oh, good news, Peralta.
462
00:17:52,797 --> 00:17:55,517
I found someone from the night shift
to relieve you on your stakeout.
463
00:17:55,529 --> 00:17:57,222
Oh, I can still make
Times Square.
464
00:17:58,494 --> 00:17:59,494
Um...
465
00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:04,100
You know, Captain, hold off on the
relief team. We're already here.
466
00:18:04,725 --> 00:18:06,384
Plus, I'm curious to see
what happens.
467
00:18:06,458 --> 00:18:07,980
Okay. It's your call.
All right.
468
00:18:11,456 --> 00:18:12,614
What did Holt want?
469
00:18:12,688 --> 00:18:14,744
Just checking in. How you doing?
Any progress?
470
00:18:14,921 --> 00:18:16,284
Yep, watch.
471
00:18:19,153 --> 00:18:21,050
The key is volume.
I see that.
472
00:18:24,817 --> 00:18:26,282
So be honest,
if you'd won the bet,
473
00:18:26,350 --> 00:18:27,790
were you really
gonna destroy my car?
474
00:18:28,715 --> 00:18:30,442
No. I was gonna drive it.
475
00:18:31,081 --> 00:18:32,137
So I could learn stick.
476
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,075
You wouldn't.
I would.
477
00:18:35,413 --> 00:18:37,275
Would have been like...
478
00:18:37,345 --> 00:18:39,004
No, no!
479
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:40,744
Hey, hey.
480
00:18:42,476 --> 00:18:43,476
There's our guys.
481
00:18:43,542 --> 00:18:44,599
What's the play here?
482
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,041
Just follow my lead.
483
00:18:46,341 --> 00:18:47,341
Give me the ring.
484
00:18:48,874 --> 00:18:50,032
Now give me some nuts.
485
00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:52,006
I'm snacky.
486
00:18:53,238 --> 00:18:55,396
All right, fine, darling.
I'll ask him.
487
00:18:55,470 --> 00:18:56,992
Will that make you happy?
Excuse me, sir.
488
00:18:57,070 --> 00:18:58,160
Uh, we're kinda busy here.
489
00:18:58,269 --> 00:19:00,234
Yeah. My girlfriend here
thinks we're lost.
490
00:19:00,602 --> 00:19:03,431
No. I know we're lost.
I think he's an idiot.
491
00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:07,157
Idiot? You know why we're out here
in the middle of the night, Susan?
492
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,697
I was gonna propose to you.
493
00:19:09,132 --> 00:19:11,154
On the Brooklyn Bridge,
where we met.
494
00:19:11,497 --> 00:19:13,792
Brooklyn Bridge? We met
on the Manhattan Bridge!
495
00:19:13,863 --> 00:19:15,522
You know what? This is over.
496
00:19:15,962 --> 00:19:18,042
Say goodbye to the ring and
everything it represents!
497
00:19:18,428 --> 00:19:21,018
Oh! You son of a bitch!
498
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,250
Hey! Hey! Stop yelling!
499
00:19:23,326 --> 00:19:25,188
Hey, no one talks
to Susan like that.
500
00:19:25,258 --> 00:19:27,938
And you know what... On the ground.
NYPD! NYPD! You're under arrest!
501
00:19:28,090 --> 00:19:29,090
Nice work.
502
00:19:29,390 --> 00:19:30,390
You, too.
503
00:19:31,188 --> 00:19:32,518
I'm sad you're all arresting me,
504
00:19:33,155 --> 00:19:34,995
but I gotta say, I'm glad
you're back together.
505
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:41,811
Hey, I need to talk to you.
506
00:19:42,351 --> 00:19:43,646
Uh-oh. It's happening.
507
00:19:45,483 --> 00:19:47,163
Remember when I took
those bullets for you?
508
00:19:47,415 --> 00:19:48,812
Okay, let's do this.
509
00:19:49,415 --> 00:19:50,437
I think you're sweet.
510
00:19:50,514 --> 00:19:51,514
I didn't know it was you.
511
00:19:53,079 --> 00:19:56,079
When I jumped in front of those bullets,
I didn't know who I was protecting.
512
00:19:56,379 --> 00:19:59,866
I just saw a gun and an NYPD
vest, and so I dove on instinct.
513
00:20:00,510 --> 00:20:03,270
You've been extra nice to me because
you thought I risked my life for you,
514
00:20:03,342 --> 00:20:05,636
but, I only did what every
good cop would do.
515
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,703
When you finally go out with me,
516
00:20:08,773 --> 00:20:09,773
and you will,
517
00:20:09,905 --> 00:20:12,393
it'll be because I do things that
only Charles Boyle would do.
518
00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:21,631
Um, actually,
I have a coat in here.
519
00:20:21,867 --> 00:20:22,867
It's, uh...
520
00:20:23,034 --> 00:20:25,022
It's like... Actually, I see it.
It's like...
521
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,300
It's blue...
It's like right...
522
00:20:29,164 --> 00:20:30,764
Excellent job on the
stakeout last night.
523
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,555
I'm glad to see you two
524
00:20:32,629 --> 00:20:34,709
still work well together
despite that ridiculous bet.
525
00:20:35,261 --> 00:20:36,284
Thanks. Me, too.
526
00:20:36,661 --> 00:20:38,650
And I appreciate you turning
down the relief team.
527
00:20:38,860 --> 00:20:40,500
I'm not sure they
could've made that bust.
528
00:20:41,259 --> 00:20:42,417
Yeah... Right.
529
00:20:43,258 --> 00:20:44,258
The relief team.
530
00:20:45,857 --> 00:20:46,857
So...
531
00:20:47,690 --> 00:20:49,450
Sorry you lost
so much money last night.
532
00:20:50,122 --> 00:20:51,962
Guess you can add it to
your list of bad dates.
533
00:20:52,321 --> 00:20:54,343
Nah, it still goes
on the good date list.
534
00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:56,780
You know, 'cause we
caught the bad guys.
535
00:20:58,585 --> 00:20:59,710
That's very mature of you.
536
00:20:59,851 --> 00:21:01,578
Well, I am a very mature man.
537
00:21:02,384 --> 00:21:03,849
Package for Amy Santiago.
538
00:21:04,550 --> 00:21:06,447
That's me.
Special Delivery from...
539
00:21:06,649 --> 00:21:08,273
Jake Peralta to say,
540
00:21:08,781 --> 00:21:09,781
"Thanks for last night."
541
00:21:09,947 --> 00:21:11,503
Oh, no. I forgot to cancel.
542
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:13,737
Here I am Cancel what?
543
00:21:13,845 --> 00:21:15,674
Sir, you don't have to... Oh!
544
00:21:15,745 --> 00:21:18,266
- Rock you like a hurricane
- All right. So...
545
00:21:21,009 --> 00:21:22,009
No! Okay.
Ah, okay.
546
00:21:22,076 --> 00:21:23,076
No, no, no, no, no.
547
00:21:23,141 --> 00:21:24,141
Stepping in.
Stepping in.
548
00:21:24,208 --> 00:21:25,408
I'll take this bullet for you.
549
00:21:26,606 --> 00:21:27,901
Hitchcock, what are you doing?
550
00:21:28,239 --> 00:21:31,294
I thought...
Aren't we all gonna... No?