1
00:00:00,130 --> 00:00:02,455
Are you ready for this one?
2
00:00:02,456 --> 00:00:04,267
♪♪CHECK♪♪
3
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Hate to say "I told you so,"
but I told you so.
4
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You know, we should fix her up
with Bernice's son.
5
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What's his name? The doctor.
6
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Oh, Vince.
7
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And he's not a doctor.
He's a pharmacist.
8
00:00:15,446 --> 00:00:16,863
Although that might
appeal to Anne.
9
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Paw-paw-paw.
10
00:00:18,032 --> 00:00:20,116
[all laughing]
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Greg, you are such a crack-up.
12
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Forget Anne...
who should we fix him up with, huh?
13
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Oh, now, Stella, you know
I'm still getting over
14
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the tragic loss of my wife.
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She was such a strong,
female woman
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with nice, heavy breasts.
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Who's that?
18
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Oh, that's my neighbor.
Hey, Larry.
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Oh, hey...
20
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Greb.
21
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- Greg.
- Ah, that was it.
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I'm not sure why I have
so much trouble remembering...
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probably 'cause our relationship
is so casual.
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Morning, ladies.
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Hi.
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00:00:47,227 --> 00:00:48,510
Uh, do a lap without me.
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I need to talk to Larry
about an issue
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with our shared fence.
29
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Larry, I need to talk to you
about an issue
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with our shared fence.
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Yes, I also need to discuss
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this shared fence
issue with you.
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Okay, they're out of earshot.
34
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Why are you up so early?
35
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No reason... just excited
to face a new day.
36
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Oh, because ever since
we've been down here,
37
00:01:05,245 --> 00:01:07,580
you've been a little depressed.
38
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Have I?
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00:01:08,615 --> 00:01:12,534
[crying]
40
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No, no, no,
don't eat the burrito.
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[moaning]
42
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[sobbing] Oh, I'm disgusting.
43
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Okay, fine, I may have had
a teensy bit of trouble
44
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adjusting when we first got here
45
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for, like, six teensy,
little months,
46
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but I took your advice,
and I got a job.
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- Doing what?
- I sell ATVs now, eh?
48
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Well, the truth is, these little
babies sell themselves.
49
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They're super fun,
50
00:01:34,024 --> 00:01:35,842
and they're a lot safer
than you might think...
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00:01:35,843 --> 00:01:37,243
if you're standing next to one.
52
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If you're driving it, it's
actually much more dangerous
53
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than you could possibly imagine.
54
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Well, a job is good.
55
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I know being stuck down here
in Florida isn't ideal,
56
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but we need to make
the best of it.
57
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In fact, I'm applying for
a promotion at my new job.
58
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Ah, very "noice."
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00:01:49,590 --> 00:01:51,874
And if all goes well,
tonight you might be neighbors
60
00:01:51,875 --> 00:01:54,460
with Greg Stickney,
Assistant Manager.
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Very double "noice."
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Well, I'm off to work.
[clears throat]
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Might want to stand back.
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00:02:01,301 --> 00:02:03,436
You're kind of in
the blast zone here.
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Don't want to forget the strap.
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[engine idling] Safety first.
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00:02:06,306 --> 00:02:08,024
That's what I always...
ooh, okay!
68
00:02:08,025 --> 00:02:08,919
[engine revs] Whoa!
69
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:12,620
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
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♪ ♪
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You deserve this promotion.
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Now go in there and get it.
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Give 'em hell, Greg.
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[lively music]
75
00:02:42,009 --> 00:02:43,726
♪ ♪
76
00:02:43,727 --> 00:02:45,178
Good morning, Carly, Tanny.
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Looks like you're keeping
the machines running smoothly.
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Whatever.
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Carly will be the first to go.
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Excuse me, sir,
there's something
81
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I'd like to talk to you about.
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Uh, one second. I'm busy.
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[buzzer]
84
00:02:55,155 --> 00:02:56,155
Oh, at the buzzer!
85
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Suck it, Chase,
86
00:02:57,157 --> 00:02:59,275
you dirty, little hippy.
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Uh, yes, well, um,
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as you know, I've been here
for four months,
89
00:03:02,246 --> 00:03:04,530
and I think
I'm a model employee.
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Oh, no doubt. No doubt.
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You had the idea to install
sinks in the bathrooms.
92
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I love that.
93
00:03:09,036 --> 00:03:10,586
Yes, what I'm getting at is,
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00:03:10,587 --> 00:03:12,872
I'd like to be
assistant manager.
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[scoffs] You serious?
96
00:03:14,675 --> 00:03:17,760
Oh, I just never expected you
to be interested in management.
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I mean, you don't seem
like the type of person
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who's really interested
in leadership roles.
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Really?
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Anyone who knows me would say
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00:03:24,852 --> 00:03:26,102
the opposite.
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I'm very hard-working.
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Yeah, when you're not
totally blazed.
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I assure you that's not me.
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Okay, tell that to
the Count Blunt-ula
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T-shirt that you were
rocking last week.
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It was the only thing
in lost and found.
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A child and his father
threw up on me.
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Okay, I'll think about it.
110
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Management!
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Full of surprises, Greg.
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[cell phone ringing]
113
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[percussive music]
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Hello?
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Go to location one now.
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♪ ♪
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Marshal Haas.
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Greg.
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[engine revving]
120
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[clears throat]
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Larry.
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I can't hear you.
Can you hear me?
123
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I cannot hear you.
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What did you say?
We can't hear you.
125
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I can't hear you; I think
my engine's too loud.
126
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It's your engine.
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Turn off your engine.
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I don't know how
to turn off the engine.
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00:04:14,735 --> 00:04:16,135
We should talk in your car.
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00:04:16,136 --> 00:04:17,570
Let's all talk in my car.
131
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Let's talk in the marshal's car.
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I think we should talk in her...
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Okay.
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Let's go over the normal
checklist stuff.
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Have you had any contact with
anyone from your previous life?
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[together] No.
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00:04:29,616 --> 00:04:30,950
Has anyone questioned
your current identity
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00:04:30,951 --> 00:04:32,335
either in person or online?
139
00:04:32,336 --> 00:04:33,535
- [together] No.
- Pop quiz.
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00:04:33,587 --> 00:04:35,454
Greg, where did you
go to college?
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Ohio State,
where I majored in...
142
00:04:38,508 --> 00:04:39,508
communications.
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Perfect.
144
00:04:40,627 --> 00:04:42,044
Larry,
what's your favorite movie?
145
00:04:42,045 --> 00:04:43,295
- Uh, "Die Hard."
- Wrong.
146
00:04:43,297 --> 00:04:44,513
Jake's favorite movie
is "Die Hard."
147
00:04:44,514 --> 00:04:46,849
I asked you for Larry's
favorite movie.
148
00:04:46,850 --> 00:04:48,634
Two people can have
the same favorite movie.
149
00:04:48,635 --> 00:04:50,019
They can, but they don't.
150
00:04:50,020 --> 00:04:52,355
Larry's favorite movie
is "Failure to Launch."
151
00:04:52,356 --> 00:04:53,722
Say it.
152
00:04:53,757 --> 00:04:57,143
Say, "My favorite movie
is 'Failure to Launch.'"
153
00:04:57,144 --> 00:04:59,312
My favorite movie
is "Failure to Launch."
154
00:04:59,313 --> 00:05:00,313
[gulps]
155
00:05:00,314 --> 00:05:01,647
I wish I could believe you.
156
00:05:01,648 --> 00:05:04,150
Moving on, three weeks ago
an informant told the FBI
157
00:05:04,151 --> 00:05:05,701
where to find Jimmy
"The Butcher" Figgis.
158
00:05:05,702 --> 00:05:08,204
Acting on that lead,
50 federal agents and I
159
00:05:08,205 --> 00:05:10,122
raided a warehouse in Paramus.
160
00:05:10,123 --> 00:05:11,824
It was awesome.
161
00:05:11,825 --> 00:05:13,743
So you got him... it's over.
We can go home?
162
00:05:13,744 --> 00:05:14,794
No, sorry.
163
00:05:14,795 --> 00:05:15,962
Figgis wasn't there.
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00:05:15,963 --> 00:05:17,747
The raid was awesome.
165
00:05:17,748 --> 00:05:19,915
Caught up with a lot of dudes
I don't normally get to see.
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Do you know what
happened to Figgis?
167
00:05:21,501 --> 00:05:22,885
No, but what we do know
168
00:05:22,886 --> 00:05:24,637
is that Figgis was never there.
169
00:05:24,638 --> 00:05:26,555
Our Intel was wrong
from minute one.
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00:05:26,556 --> 00:05:28,841
Is there any way we could help
with the investigation?
171
00:05:28,842 --> 00:05:30,259
No, absolutely not.
172
00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:33,262
Your involvement would endanger
your lives and this case.
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00:05:33,263 --> 00:05:34,563
[sighs]
174
00:05:34,564 --> 00:05:35,931
I'm sorry, but it looks like
Larry and Greg
175
00:05:35,932 --> 00:05:37,266
will be in Florida indefinitely.
176
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Pop quiz, Larry:
who's the female lead
177
00:05:39,403 --> 00:05:40,603
in "Failure to Launch"?
178
00:05:40,604 --> 00:05:43,189
- Kate Hudson?
- Sarah Jessica Parker, man!
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00:05:43,190 --> 00:05:45,507
God, it's like you want to die.
180
00:05:47,277 --> 00:05:48,444
[exhales]
181
00:05:48,445 --> 00:05:51,914
So we're in Florida
indefinitely.
182
00:05:51,915 --> 00:05:53,199
You okay?
183
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,034
I squirt-anly am.
184
00:05:55,035 --> 00:05:57,585
Poor choice of words,
but the sentiment remains.
185
00:05:58,705 --> 00:06:00,706
What? You were right.
186
00:06:00,707 --> 00:06:02,458
It's the job.
It keeps me focused.
187
00:06:02,459 --> 00:06:03,542
Well, good, I'm glad to hear it.
188
00:06:03,543 --> 00:06:04,543
Yep.
189
00:06:04,544 --> 00:06:05,878
Now if you'll excuse me,
190
00:06:05,879 --> 00:06:08,047
I got to drive this
Bee-otch back to work.
191
00:06:08,048 --> 00:06:10,049
- What?
- Oh, sorry.
192
00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:12,250
This is the Ikura
Bee-otch 5,000.
193
00:06:12,285 --> 00:06:13,636
Brand-new model.
194
00:06:13,637 --> 00:06:14,804
Just came in.
195
00:06:14,805 --> 00:06:16,222
I was gonna go for the 10,000,
196
00:06:16,223 --> 00:06:18,691
but that Bee-otch
is way too fancy.
197
00:06:18,692 --> 00:06:20,225
[chuckles]
198
00:06:20,227 --> 00:06:21,694
[engine revving]
199
00:06:21,695 --> 00:06:25,031
See you soon.
200
00:06:25,032 --> 00:06:28,984
[engine roaring]
201
00:06:28,985 --> 00:06:31,987
[lively music]
202
00:06:31,988 --> 00:06:35,182
♪ ♪
203
00:06:42,082 --> 00:06:44,250
Hey, babe.
204
00:06:44,251 --> 00:06:47,636
♪ ♪
205
00:06:47,637 --> 00:06:49,755
[sighs]
206
00:06:49,756 --> 00:06:51,807
Okay, Jimmy Figgis.
207
00:06:51,808 --> 00:06:53,059
Where the hell are you?
208
00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:56,762
♪ ♪
209
00:06:56,763 --> 00:06:59,981
Oh, Larry.
210
00:07:02,621 --> 00:07:03,838
So I marched in there
and I told him
211
00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:05,673
I wanted that assistant
manager position.
212
00:07:05,674 --> 00:07:07,625
I wish my son had your backbone.
213
00:07:07,626 --> 00:07:09,593
Then he could finally
divorce Emily.
214
00:07:09,594 --> 00:07:11,262
What does he see in her anyway?
215
00:07:11,263 --> 00:07:12,713
Probably her breasts,
216
00:07:12,714 --> 00:07:14,215
which are heavier than average.
217
00:07:14,216 --> 00:07:15,516
I don't mean to be crude,
ladies,
218
00:07:15,517 --> 00:07:17,718
but that's just how
the straight mind works.
219
00:07:17,719 --> 00:07:20,220
- Oh, hey, Larry.
- Ah, hello, Groot.
220
00:07:20,272 --> 00:07:21,472
- Greg.
- Right.
221
00:07:21,473 --> 00:07:22,857
Is there an issue
with our shared fence
222
00:07:22,858 --> 00:07:24,041
that we must discuss?
223
00:07:24,042 --> 00:07:25,526
Nope, our shared fence is fine.
224
00:07:25,527 --> 00:07:27,278
Just off to work.
[engine turns over]
225
00:07:27,279 --> 00:07:28,813
Is there something going on
at the ATV lot?
226
00:07:28,814 --> 00:07:32,316
Yes, uh, having a sale on...
227
00:07:32,317 --> 00:07:34,400
big, old springs.
228
00:07:34,453 --> 00:07:35,703
- Shocks.
- Right.
229
00:07:35,704 --> 00:07:37,238
I knew that; I was just
dumbing it down for you.
230
00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:39,073
At any rate, I am off.
231
00:07:39,074 --> 00:07:40,074
Honk, honk.
232
00:07:40,075 --> 00:07:41,876
I don't know where the horn is.
233
00:07:41,877 --> 00:07:44,878
[engine rumbling]
234
00:07:49,307 --> 00:07:50,334
Gahh! What the...
235
00:07:50,335 --> 00:07:51,418
ATVs?
236
00:07:51,419 --> 00:07:52,586
The only thing you're selling
237
00:07:52,587 --> 00:07:53,888
is a huge pile of bunk.
238
00:07:53,889 --> 00:07:55,723
How did you get here so fast?
You were walking.
239
00:07:55,724 --> 00:07:57,558
I was power-walking.
240
00:07:57,559 --> 00:07:59,008
Roll heel, ball, toe...
241
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:00,677
roll heel, ball, toe.
242
00:08:00,712 --> 00:08:03,347
I was already suspicious about
your new positive attitude
243
00:08:03,348 --> 00:08:05,883
towards Florida, a state
you once described as
244
00:08:05,884 --> 00:08:07,351
"America's stinky butt."
245
00:08:07,352 --> 00:08:08,902
But then, after we met
the marshal,
246
00:08:08,937 --> 00:08:10,187
you said something very strange.
247
00:08:10,188 --> 00:08:11,739
It was "squirt-anly," wasn't it?
248
00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:13,357
No, something much stranger.
249
00:08:13,358 --> 00:08:16,727
[slowed audio] You were right.
250
00:08:16,728 --> 00:08:18,779
I knew then that you
were up to something,
251
00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:19,997
so I followed you here.
252
00:08:19,998 --> 00:08:21,949
I guessed the combination
on the first try:
253
00:08:21,950 --> 00:08:24,034
69-69.
254
00:08:24,035 --> 00:08:26,620
June 9, 1969, the day
my parents got married.
255
00:08:26,621 --> 00:08:28,038
- No, it isn't.
- My mom's birthday.
256
00:08:28,039 --> 00:08:29,088
- No.
- The moon landing.
257
00:08:29,124 --> 00:08:30,174
- Nope.
- Fine, you're right.
258
00:08:30,175 --> 00:08:31,292
It's a completely random number.
259
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:33,544
Look, the feds are useless.
260
00:08:33,545 --> 00:08:34,678
They're never gonna
catch Figgis,
261
00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:36,045
so I'm working the case.
262
00:08:36,097 --> 00:08:37,464
I want to get home and see Amy.
263
00:08:37,465 --> 00:08:38,549
Don't you want to see Kevin?
264
00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:39,767
Of course I do.
265
00:08:39,768 --> 00:08:41,352
But we were told not
to get involved.
266
00:08:41,353 --> 00:08:42,803
Why can't you just
follow orders?
267
00:08:42,804 --> 00:08:44,221
Because I hate
this stupid place,
268
00:08:44,222 --> 00:08:45,556
and I've got to get out.
269
00:08:45,557 --> 00:08:47,558
This town's claim to fame
is that its mayors keep dying,
270
00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:48,559
and no one knows why.
271
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,777
That's insane.
272
00:08:49,778 --> 00:08:50,861
You're selfish,
and you're putting
273
00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:52,279
my life at risk.
274
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,064
So no, you're not getting
those files back.
275
00:08:54,065 --> 00:08:56,734
I suggest you accept
the reality of the situation
276
00:08:56,735 --> 00:08:58,118
and make the best of it.
277
00:08:58,119 --> 00:09:00,154
Snap out of it,
278
00:09:00,155 --> 00:09:01,154
and get a job.
279
00:09:01,206 --> 00:09:04,074
Okay. Interesting idea.
280
00:09:04,075 --> 00:09:05,992
I wonder who's hiring.
281
00:09:06,044 --> 00:09:07,861
Hey, everyone, just
want to introduce you
282
00:09:07,862 --> 00:09:09,630
to our new assistant manager,
283
00:09:09,631 --> 00:09:10,631
Larry Sherbet.
284
00:09:10,632 --> 00:09:12,833
[applause]
285
00:09:12,834 --> 00:09:13,968
Son of a bitch.
286
00:09:13,969 --> 00:09:15,252
Larry, you want
to say a few words?
287
00:09:15,253 --> 00:09:16,554
Absolutely. Thanks.
288
00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:17,721
Hey, everybody.
289
00:09:17,722 --> 00:09:19,506
Uh, couple things about
my management style.
290
00:09:19,507 --> 00:09:22,059
Number one: don't nobody ask me
about what's in my cup,
291
00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:23,060
we ain't gonna have no problems.
292
00:09:23,061 --> 00:09:24,428
[laughing]
293
00:09:24,429 --> 00:09:27,481
Uh, two, I believe in
the power of nicknames.
294
00:09:27,482 --> 00:09:30,017
Smile Face, Señorita Swag,
295
00:09:30,018 --> 00:09:31,185
Kahuna!
296
00:09:31,186 --> 00:09:32,403
Oh, yeah.
297
00:09:32,404 --> 00:09:34,021
And you, my friend,
298
00:09:34,022 --> 00:09:35,656
we will call Mr. Fart.
299
00:09:35,657 --> 00:09:36,991
Seems rather unprofessional.
300
00:09:36,992 --> 00:09:39,026
He called you "Mr." Fart,
Mr. Fart.
301
00:09:39,027 --> 00:09:40,194
Thanks, Kahuna.
302
00:09:40,195 --> 00:09:41,779
Guys, can I get real with you
for one sec?
303
00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:44,781
[slurping]
304
00:09:47,535 --> 00:09:49,703
I used to work
for a real stickler...
305
00:09:49,704 --> 00:09:51,505
the type of guy
that just got off
306
00:09:51,506 --> 00:09:52,873
on telling me what to do.
307
00:09:52,874 --> 00:09:55,042
One time, he invaded my private
space and stole my stuff.
308
00:09:55,043 --> 00:09:56,042
Why would he do that?
309
00:09:56,094 --> 00:09:57,344
Perhaps he had a good reason.
310
00:09:57,345 --> 00:09:59,046
Wrong, Mr. Fart.
He was a jerk and he sucked.
311
00:09:59,047 --> 00:10:00,598
But he was the one
who motivated me
312
00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:02,466
to get off my ass
and get this job,
313
00:10:02,467 --> 00:10:04,668
so in a way, we really
have him to thank
314
00:10:04,669 --> 00:10:05,636
for all this happening.
315
00:10:05,637 --> 00:10:07,388
- [applause]
- Give it up.
316
00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:09,056
How great is this guy, Greg?
317
00:10:09,057 --> 00:10:10,557
Wait, that's Greg?
318
00:10:10,558 --> 00:10:11,641
- Yeah.
- The stoner?
319
00:10:11,643 --> 00:10:13,310
Yeah, look at him.
He's such a Rasta.
320
00:10:13,311 --> 00:10:15,145
Aw, total Rasta.
321
00:10:15,146 --> 00:10:16,569
[laughing]
322
00:10:19,317 --> 00:10:20,817
How did you even get this job?
323
00:10:20,869 --> 00:10:22,453
You have zero experience.
324
00:10:22,454 --> 00:10:23,988
I guess you lied on your resume.
325
00:10:23,989 --> 00:10:26,991
[chuckles] Greg,
you stoney macaroni...
326
00:10:26,992 --> 00:10:28,375
[whispering] Of course
I lied on my resume.
327
00:10:28,376 --> 00:10:29,575
Our entire lives are a lie.
328
00:10:29,628 --> 00:10:30,711
I straight up said
I was that guy who
329
00:10:30,712 --> 00:10:31,745
landed the plane on the Hudson.
330
00:10:31,746 --> 00:10:33,213
Taking my job
just to spite me...
331
00:10:33,214 --> 00:10:34,497
that's low, even for you.
332
00:10:34,549 --> 00:10:35,833
Oh, but it's not spite.
333
00:10:35,834 --> 00:10:37,051
It's blackmail.
334
00:10:37,052 --> 00:10:38,419
I'm gonna be your boss,
335
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:39,887
and I'm gonna make
your life miserable,
336
00:10:39,888 --> 00:10:42,923
unless you give me back
my Figgis file.
337
00:10:42,924 --> 00:10:44,590
Oh, never gonna happen.
338
00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:46,844
Okay. Suit yourself.
339
00:10:46,845 --> 00:10:49,279
Hope you like kids' birthdays.
340
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:54,233
Hey, everyone, someone just
volunteered to be DJ B-Day.
341
00:10:54,269 --> 00:10:56,819
Here at the Fun Zone,
we live by one rule:
342
00:10:56,855 --> 00:10:59,356
when it's your birthday,
you're always cool.
343
00:10:59,357 --> 00:11:01,491
Parents and kids
are all the same.
344
00:11:01,526 --> 00:11:02,826
Watch...
345
00:11:02,827 --> 00:11:05,279
as I do a dance...
346
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,830
to your name.
347
00:11:06,831 --> 00:11:08,115
[steady drumbeat]
348
00:11:08,116 --> 00:11:10,234
D-d-d-d-d-d-Derek.
349
00:11:10,235 --> 00:11:13,203
D-d-d-d-d-d-Derek.
350
00:11:13,204 --> 00:11:14,755
Again.
351
00:11:14,756 --> 00:11:17,675
Figure out what's
living in there yet?
352
00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:19,460
Well, uh, judging
by the empty beer cars,
353
00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,378
the fur, the pornography,
and the claw marks,
354
00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:23,097
I'd say a homeless man
and a raccoon.
355
00:11:23,098 --> 00:11:24,682
The exact nature
of their relationship
356
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:26,050
is still revealing itself.
357
00:11:26,051 --> 00:11:27,634
I'm gonna assume sexual.
358
00:11:27,635 --> 00:11:29,303
You ready to give me
those files yet?
359
00:11:29,304 --> 00:11:30,721
No.
360
00:11:30,722 --> 00:11:32,439
Well, then, I guess it's time
for your next task.
361
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,391
You're gonna need to change.
362
00:11:34,392 --> 00:11:35,392
Into what?
363
00:11:35,393 --> 00:11:37,394
Oh, Mr. Fart.
364
00:11:37,395 --> 00:11:38,811
You look perfect.
365
00:11:38,863 --> 00:11:40,664
So a silly costume...
is that all you got?
366
00:11:40,665 --> 00:11:41,648
Hardly.
367
00:11:41,649 --> 00:11:43,067
Every time a go-kart drives by,
368
00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:44,284
I want you to scream...
369
00:11:44,285 --> 00:11:45,486
and this is very important...
370
00:11:45,487 --> 00:11:48,322
"Me so corny!"
371
00:11:48,323 --> 00:11:50,240
You can ruin my job, Larry,
372
00:11:50,241 --> 00:11:52,209
but that's not all I've got
here in Florida.
373
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:53,794
I've got a life.
374
00:11:53,795 --> 00:11:54,794
I've got friends.
375
00:11:54,796 --> 00:11:55,963
You sure about that?
376
00:11:55,964 --> 00:11:58,082
Honestly, Estelle, it almost
sounds like you should
377
00:11:58,083 --> 00:11:59,750
stop eating beef altogether.
378
00:11:59,751 --> 00:12:02,085
I know.
That's what I keep saying.
379
00:12:02,087 --> 00:12:03,637
Oh, go to hell, Larry!
380
00:12:03,638 --> 00:12:04,755
That's my walking group!
381
00:12:04,756 --> 00:12:06,090
Off to get my file?
382
00:12:06,091 --> 00:12:08,175
No, you will never get the f...
383
00:12:08,176 --> 00:12:09,259
[screams]
384
00:12:09,260 --> 00:12:11,228
Greg!
385
00:12:11,229 --> 00:12:12,596
[tires screech]
386
00:12:12,597 --> 00:12:13,764
Are you okay?
387
00:12:13,765 --> 00:12:17,568
Yes, but we got bigger problems.
388
00:12:17,569 --> 00:12:19,436
This is gonna
break the Internet.
389
00:12:19,437 --> 00:12:21,904
No, no, ma'am, please, you can
not put that on the Inter...
390
00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,607
oh! [grunts]
391
00:12:23,608 --> 00:12:24,742
[laughing]
392
00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:26,443
I was hoping that would happen.
393
00:12:26,444 --> 00:12:27,577
Yes! Yes!
394
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:31,474
♪♪CHECK♪♪
395
00:12:31,475 --> 00:12:34,203
♪♪CHECK♪♪
396
00:12:35,333 --> 00:12:37,656
♪♪CHECK♪♪
397
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:40,016
If that woman posts
her camera phone video
398
00:12:40,017 --> 00:12:41,601
that she took with
a camera phone camera
399
00:12:41,602 --> 00:12:43,970
to the Internet, Figgis could
figure out where we are.
400
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,304
This is your fault.
401
00:12:45,305 --> 00:12:47,190
Or maybe it's your fault
for stealing my files.
402
00:12:47,191 --> 00:12:48,858
You know what?
It doesn't matter.
403
00:12:48,859 --> 00:12:50,059
We have to get that video.
404
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,811
Can we please just press
"pause" on this fight
405
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:52,812
and work together?
406
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,814
Yes, on one condition:
407
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:57,450
you stay the hell away
from my walking group.
408
00:12:57,451 --> 00:12:59,151
The walking group
meant nothing to me.
409
00:12:59,152 --> 00:13:00,536
That's even worse.
410
00:13:00,537 --> 00:13:02,288
Okay, fine, I'll stop.
411
00:13:02,289 --> 00:13:03,739
What did this lady look like?
412
00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:05,575
White, female, 5'3",
413
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,827
T-shirt that read,
"Orgasm Donor."
414
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,328
We need more. [snaps fingers]
415
00:13:09,329 --> 00:13:11,330
We need access to
the security tapes.
416
00:13:11,331 --> 00:13:14,333
[lively music]
417
00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:16,302
♪ ♪
418
00:13:16,303 --> 00:13:19,171
Okay, we got teenagers stealing
a stuffed gorilla,
419
00:13:19,172 --> 00:13:21,390
old lady siphoning gas
out of a go-kart,
420
00:13:21,391 --> 00:13:23,509
junkie ripping copper wires
out of the wall...
421
00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:25,428
God, this place is messed up.
422
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,146
Ah!
423
00:13:27,147 --> 00:13:28,514
There you are.
424
00:13:28,515 --> 00:13:29,565
What did you find?
425
00:13:29,566 --> 00:13:30,733
Not much.
426
00:13:30,734 --> 00:13:31,851
Camera was behind her.
427
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,069
But look at her calf.
428
00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:34,237
It's a tattoo of Jesus
429
00:13:34,238 --> 00:13:35,520
punching bin Laden in the nuts.
430
00:13:35,522 --> 00:13:36,606
Hmm.
431
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:37,990
Maybe a local tattoo artist
432
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:39,242
will recognize it.
433
00:13:39,243 --> 00:13:40,409
It can't be that common.
434
00:13:40,410 --> 00:13:42,277
That's the most common
tattoo we give.
435
00:13:42,329 --> 00:13:44,130
So these photos tell us nothing?
436
00:13:44,131 --> 00:13:45,164
Actually, you know what?
437
00:13:45,165 --> 00:13:46,532
That's a high school
graduation ring.
438
00:13:46,533 --> 00:13:48,450
Dan Marino High, class of 2003.
439
00:13:48,502 --> 00:13:50,586
Marino High, home
of the Dolphins, I suspect.
440
00:13:50,587 --> 00:13:52,121
Nope, Pet Detectives.
441
00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:54,507
Town was really into Marino's
cameo in "Ace Ventura."
442
00:13:54,508 --> 00:13:55,591
Ah, it stands to reason.
443
00:13:55,592 --> 00:13:57,176
Classic film,
one of my childhood favorites.
444
00:13:57,177 --> 00:13:59,879
And it only gets overtly
transphobic at the very end,
445
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:00,880
so a win.
446
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,131
Anyway, thank you very much.
447
00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:03,266
You've been very helpful.
448
00:14:03,267 --> 00:14:04,884
But... you guys getting ink,
or what?
449
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,686
No, I already have a tattoo.
450
00:14:06,687 --> 00:14:08,103
What? Where? Why? How? When?
451
00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:09,722
I will never talk
about it again.
452
00:14:09,723 --> 00:14:13,526
[groaning]
453
00:14:13,527 --> 00:14:16,228
Okay, now all we have to do
is go to Dan Marino High
454
00:14:16,229 --> 00:14:18,681
and get all the personal info
on the class of 2003
455
00:14:18,682 --> 00:14:20,313
and then show each other
our tattoos.
456
00:14:21,568 --> 00:14:22,735
We're not cops anymore.
457
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,070
How are we gonna get access
to those files?
458
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,105
Easy: I walk in there
dressed as an exterminator
459
00:14:26,106 --> 00:14:27,822
saying I'm from
1-2-3 Pest Removal.
460
00:14:27,874 --> 00:14:29,292
Secretary's like,
"Never heard of you."
461
00:14:29,293 --> 00:14:30,660
Then I'm like, "Listen, lassie,
462
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,511
it's best you let me speak
with your cipal."
463
00:14:32,512 --> 00:14:34,080
I hear it.
I'm gonna drop the accent.
464
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,481
She takes me to see
the principal...
465
00:14:35,482 --> 00:14:36,482
you walk in behind me
466
00:14:36,483 --> 00:14:37,733
and download the file.
467
00:14:37,734 --> 00:14:39,001
The only question is,
where are we gonna find
468
00:14:39,002 --> 00:14:40,353
an exterminator's outfit?
469
00:14:40,354 --> 00:14:42,377
We're gonna need khaki pants
and a khaki shirt.
470
00:14:42,406 --> 00:14:45,408
To my casual wear closet.
471
00:14:45,409 --> 00:14:46,859
Hey, there, I'm the exterminator
472
00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:47,843
here for the...
473
00:14:47,844 --> 00:14:49,528
Yes, you're here for the snakes.
474
00:14:49,529 --> 00:14:51,030
Oh, right.
475
00:14:51,031 --> 00:14:52,164
The snakes, yes.
476
00:14:52,165 --> 00:14:53,531
That is why I'm here.
477
00:14:53,583 --> 00:14:55,034
- This way.
- Okay.
478
00:14:55,035 --> 00:14:57,363
♪ ♪
479
00:15:03,699 --> 00:15:04,960
I found our suspect.
480
00:15:04,961 --> 00:15:06,545
Her name is Jordan Karfton,
481
00:15:06,546 --> 00:15:08,096
and she lives on Shula Lane.
482
00:15:08,131 --> 00:15:09,882
How did the snake removal go?
483
00:15:09,883 --> 00:15:11,967
Eeeee!
484
00:15:11,968 --> 00:15:14,283
It was good. It was good.
485
00:15:16,556 --> 00:15:18,174
[raps door]
486
00:15:18,175 --> 00:15:20,509
Ms. Karfton,
you don't know us, but...
487
00:15:20,510 --> 00:15:21,894
Uh, yeah, I do.
488
00:15:21,895 --> 00:15:24,680
I got you on video looking
like a couple of dumbasses.
489
00:15:24,681 --> 00:15:25,681
[chuckles]
490
00:15:25,682 --> 00:15:26,766
I like to think I handled it
491
00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:28,067
with some amount of grace.
492
00:15:28,068 --> 00:15:29,902
Nope, you looked dumber
than my kid Jaden,
493
00:15:29,903 --> 00:15:31,687
and his eyes are perma-crossed.
494
00:15:31,688 --> 00:15:33,339
You want to see? Hey, Jaden!
495
00:15:33,340 --> 00:15:35,073
No, that's not necessary.
496
00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:37,108
Have you posted
that video to the Internet?
497
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,244
Not yet.
498
00:15:38,245 --> 00:15:39,528
Ran out of data on my phone
499
00:15:39,529 --> 00:15:40,852
because of all the porn
I watched.
500
00:15:40,864 --> 00:15:42,148
We don't know each other.
501
00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:43,549
You could've just said you
were out of data.
502
00:15:43,550 --> 00:15:44,917
I'm uploading the video tomorrow
503
00:15:44,918 --> 00:15:46,001
at my cousin's wedding.
504
00:15:46,002 --> 00:15:47,586
Dog track has free Wi-Fi.
505
00:15:47,587 --> 00:15:49,588
Would you ever consider
not uploading it
506
00:15:49,589 --> 00:15:50,623
and deleting it instead?
507
00:15:50,624 --> 00:15:51,924
If our boss sees that video,
508
00:15:51,925 --> 00:15:52,958
we could be fired.
509
00:15:52,959 --> 00:15:54,293
I don't care about you.
510
00:15:54,294 --> 00:15:55,795
A great viral video like that
511
00:15:55,796 --> 00:15:57,797
could fetch me ten grand.
512
00:15:57,798 --> 00:16:00,549
And do you know what type
of tanning bed I could get
513
00:16:00,550 --> 00:16:03,135
for that kind of money?
514
00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:04,437
A mid-range one.
515
00:16:04,438 --> 00:16:06,722
Not necessary.
Your tan is great as-is.
516
00:16:06,723 --> 00:16:08,641
You look like...
517
00:16:08,642 --> 00:16:10,059
an evenly-stained deck.
518
00:16:10,060 --> 00:16:11,527
All right, dude.
Keep it in your pants.
519
00:16:11,528 --> 00:16:13,946
Like, I get why
you're into this,
520
00:16:13,947 --> 00:16:16,781
and I could see something
going on with us later,
521
00:16:16,817 --> 00:16:18,733
but right now, I need the cash.
522
00:16:18,785 --> 00:16:20,953
Wait, what if we gave you
the $10,000?
523
00:16:20,954 --> 00:16:23,621
Make it 15, you got a deal.
524
00:16:23,657 --> 00:16:25,458
[sighs] Fine.
525
00:16:25,459 --> 00:16:28,494
Meet us tonight at
the Fun Zone... 8:00.
526
00:16:28,495 --> 00:16:29,545
I will.
527
00:16:29,546 --> 00:16:31,463
Wear something cute.
528
00:16:34,718 --> 00:16:36,051
We don't have
that kind of money.
529
00:16:36,052 --> 00:16:37,052
Don't worry.
530
00:16:37,053 --> 00:16:39,305
I still have a few
tricks up my sleeve.
531
00:16:39,306 --> 00:16:40,840
The only thing
I need you to do is...
532
00:16:40,841 --> 00:16:42,007
I'm not gonna
show you my tattoo.
533
00:16:42,008 --> 00:16:43,175
Come on, just give me a hint.
534
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,410
Is it an antique boat?
535
00:16:44,411 --> 00:16:47,430
Is it a musket?
Is it me on a dragon?
536
00:16:47,431 --> 00:16:49,899
Sir, is it me on a dragon?
537
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:52,935
Boom. $15,000 cash.
538
00:16:52,936 --> 00:16:54,769
Wow. How'd you get it?
539
00:16:54,821 --> 00:16:56,205
Oh, you didn't.
540
00:16:56,206 --> 00:16:57,823
You just stuck a few 20s
541
00:16:57,824 --> 00:16:59,492
around a bunch
of corn dog coupons.
542
00:16:59,493 --> 00:17:00,693
Smart, right?
543
00:17:00,694 --> 00:17:01,894
What if she decides to count it?
544
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:03,078
Oh, I'm not too
worried about that.
545
00:17:03,079 --> 00:17:04,662
She doesn't strike me
as a big counter.
546
00:17:04,698 --> 00:17:05,865
Oh, well, that's
quite an assumption.
547
00:17:05,866 --> 00:17:08,083
So... so this is your big plan.
548
00:17:08,084 --> 00:17:09,702
Oh, we need to call this off.
549
00:17:09,703 --> 00:17:11,787
No, this is our best shot.
550
00:17:11,788 --> 00:17:13,706
And right now,
it's our only shot.
551
00:17:13,707 --> 00:17:15,374
Where's my money, bitch?
552
00:17:15,375 --> 00:17:17,509
Charming.
I see you brought friends.
553
00:17:17,544 --> 00:17:18,677
Oh, yeah, for backup.
554
00:17:18,678 --> 00:17:21,096
Well, here is your money.
555
00:17:21,097 --> 00:17:24,133
It's all there if you
want to count it.
556
00:17:24,134 --> 00:17:25,718
Hey, I graduated high school.
557
00:17:25,719 --> 00:17:27,852
I don't have to prove to you
I can count.
558
00:17:27,888 --> 00:17:29,221
Of course not.
559
00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:30,689
Of course not.
560
00:17:30,690 --> 00:17:32,691
Here's the phone.
You can delete the video.
561
00:17:32,692 --> 00:17:34,827
- Thank you... pictures...
- Hey, Billy, check it out.
562
00:17:34,828 --> 00:17:37,279
I'ma stick $1,000
out of my zipper.
563
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,815
Hey, what the hell?
564
00:17:39,816 --> 00:17:42,034
This isn't real money.
565
00:17:42,035 --> 00:17:43,201
Hey, give me my phone.
566
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:44,620
You're gonna have
to catch me first.
567
00:17:44,621 --> 00:17:45,905
Argh!
568
00:17:45,906 --> 00:17:49,909
[laughing] You really
thought that would work?
569
00:17:49,910 --> 00:17:52,661
This video is going viral.
570
00:17:52,662 --> 00:17:55,164
And you...
571
00:17:55,165 --> 00:17:57,066
this can still happen anytime.
572
00:17:57,067 --> 00:17:58,750
You know where I live.
573
00:18:01,304 --> 00:18:02,638
You okay?
574
00:18:02,639 --> 00:18:04,924
[grunts] Yeah.
575
00:18:04,925 --> 00:18:06,174
- A little sore, but...
- Good.
576
00:18:06,226 --> 00:18:07,760
Then I can excoriate you freely.
577
00:18:07,761 --> 00:18:09,458
You half-assed living
in Florida,
578
00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:11,096
and you half-assed
getting the phone back.
579
00:18:11,097 --> 00:18:12,681
You've probably blown our cover,
580
00:18:12,682 --> 00:18:14,767
which means the marshals
will have to move us.
581
00:18:14,768 --> 00:18:16,569
And when they do,
I'm gonna demand
582
00:18:16,570 --> 00:18:18,020
they send us to
different cities,
583
00:18:18,021 --> 00:18:20,439
because I don't want you
anywhere near me.
584
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:21,856
I swapped the phones.
585
00:18:21,908 --> 00:18:22,908
What?
586
00:18:22,909 --> 00:18:25,661
I got the video.
587
00:18:25,662 --> 00:18:26,695
Sorry.
588
00:18:26,696 --> 00:18:28,496
I won't bother you anymore.
589
00:18:28,532 --> 00:18:29,864
Bye, Greg.
590
00:18:34,118 --> 00:18:36,290
Lastly, hole 13
on the mini golf course
591
00:18:36,291 --> 00:18:38,376
is missing, so tell
all the players
592
00:18:38,377 --> 00:18:40,461
to just repeat hole 12.
593
00:18:40,462 --> 00:18:41,796
All right, dismissed.
594
00:18:41,797 --> 00:18:43,881
Damn, Greg, you are killing it
595
00:18:43,882 --> 00:18:45,231
as assistant manager.
596
00:18:45,267 --> 00:18:47,218
I mean, having the idea
to have people come in
597
00:18:47,219 --> 00:18:49,719
at 9:00 a.m....that has
really helped business.
598
00:18:49,721 --> 00:18:51,772
Yes, that is when the sign
says we're open.
599
00:18:51,773 --> 00:18:53,391
Yeah.
Look, there's one other thing.
600
00:18:53,392 --> 00:18:55,443
Now that you're management,
I need you to promise me
601
00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:57,110
that you're gonna
lay off the drugs.
602
00:18:57,145 --> 00:18:58,896
Just a little... I don't want
to kill your whole
603
00:18:58,897 --> 00:19:02,566
stoney vibe or anything.
604
00:19:02,567 --> 00:19:04,068
- I'll try.
- Thank you.
605
00:19:04,069 --> 00:19:05,903
You keep this up,
606
00:19:05,904 --> 00:19:08,289
and I genuinely believe
that you could be night manager
607
00:19:08,290 --> 00:19:10,140
in, like, two to three years.
608
00:19:10,175 --> 00:19:11,959
Yes.
609
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,962
Two or three years.
610
00:19:14,963 --> 00:19:16,797
Here.
611
00:19:16,798 --> 00:19:19,249
In Florida.
612
00:19:19,251 --> 00:19:20,634
Well, it's an all-terrain
vehicle,
613
00:19:20,635 --> 00:19:22,303
so yeah, you can do doughnuts
614
00:19:22,304 --> 00:19:23,504
in your living room.
615
00:19:23,505 --> 00:19:25,056
Hi, I hear you're
the man to talk to
616
00:19:25,057 --> 00:19:30,344
about the XTR-XP 49789WJ8-09
Xtreme four-wheel drive Z-Cat.
617
00:19:30,345 --> 00:19:31,512
Sir, I'm gonna
stop you right there.
618
00:19:31,513 --> 00:19:32,646
I think you might
be more comfortable
619
00:19:32,647 --> 00:19:34,181
speaking with one of
our other associates.
620
00:19:34,182 --> 00:19:36,267
No, no, I need to talk
to this particular associate
621
00:19:36,268 --> 00:19:38,819
and apologize for saying he
622
00:19:38,820 --> 00:19:41,355
half-assed his ATV
sales technique.
623
00:19:41,356 --> 00:19:43,491
Well, that's very nice,
but I've moved on,
624
00:19:43,492 --> 00:19:44,575
and I'm with customers,
625
00:19:44,576 --> 00:19:45,860
so thanks.
626
00:19:45,861 --> 00:19:47,194
These machines are death traps.
627
00:19:47,195 --> 00:19:48,646
If you purchase one,
628
00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:50,331
you will be maimed.
629
00:19:50,332 --> 00:19:51,748
[laughs] You won't be maimed.
630
00:19:51,783 --> 00:19:53,284
Most of the injuries
are internal.
631
00:19:53,285 --> 00:19:54,535
You know what?
632
00:19:54,536 --> 00:19:55,786
I'm gonna speak with this
gentleman for one moment.
633
00:19:55,787 --> 00:19:57,171
I'm so sorry.
Give me a second.
634
00:19:57,172 --> 00:19:59,623
Sir, can I speak with you
over here?
635
00:19:59,624 --> 00:20:01,124
[whispering]
What is this all about?
636
00:20:01,176 --> 00:20:02,943
I've been staying away from you;
I got a job.
637
00:20:02,944 --> 00:20:04,562
I'm trying to make the best
of it, just like you said.
638
00:20:04,563 --> 00:20:06,714
Well, don't bother.
Making the best of it sucks.
639
00:20:06,715 --> 00:20:08,215
I want to go home.
640
00:20:08,216 --> 00:20:09,967
This town is a crap circus.
641
00:20:09,968 --> 00:20:11,135
What has gotten into you?
642
00:20:11,136 --> 00:20:12,803
You clearly got the promotion
like you wanted.
643
00:20:12,804 --> 00:20:13,888
Congratulations, by the way.
644
00:20:13,889 --> 00:20:14,939
The blue looks great on you.
645
00:20:14,940 --> 00:20:16,307
The day we spent
acting like cops
646
00:20:16,308 --> 00:20:17,475
and getting that video back
647
00:20:17,476 --> 00:20:19,226
was the only time
I've felt alive
648
00:20:19,227 --> 00:20:20,478
since we've been down here.
649
00:20:20,479 --> 00:20:22,613
So what are you saying?
650
00:20:22,614 --> 00:20:24,281
Can I take this
for a test drive?
651
00:20:24,282 --> 00:20:26,484
Yeah, sure.
652
00:20:26,485 --> 00:20:28,035
[clears throat]
The ignition is here.
653
00:20:28,036 --> 00:20:30,121
I've ridden ATVs before...
654
00:20:30,122 --> 00:20:33,624
antiquing in the Berkshires.
655
00:20:33,625 --> 00:20:34,792
[engine revving]
656
00:20:34,793 --> 00:20:36,793
[tires squealing]
657
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,501
Oh, my files.
658
00:20:43,502 --> 00:20:45,336
My beautiful files.
659
00:20:45,337 --> 00:20:47,003
I've looked over
what you've got.
660
00:20:47,055 --> 00:20:49,423
Given your resources,
very impressive, but...
661
00:20:49,424 --> 00:20:50,574
I know.
662
00:20:50,575 --> 00:20:51,809
It'll take me months
to find Figgis,
663
00:20:51,810 --> 00:20:53,610
but we'll find him faster
if we work together.
664
00:20:53,612 --> 00:20:54,979
What if we don't find Figgis?
665
00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:57,648
What if Figgis finds us?
666
00:20:57,649 --> 00:20:59,316
But I thought you
deleted the file.
667
00:20:59,317 --> 00:21:00,367
I was going to,
668
00:21:00,368 --> 00:21:01,836
but this camera phone camera
669
00:21:01,837 --> 00:21:03,404
is not the same kind
of camera phone camera
670
00:21:03,405 --> 00:21:05,790
as I have, so I couldn't
figure out how.
671
00:21:05,791 --> 00:21:06,907
But I'm glad I didn't.
672
00:21:06,908 --> 00:21:08,843
I say we post this video
673
00:21:08,844 --> 00:21:11,045
and use it to lure
Figgis down here,
674
00:21:11,046 --> 00:21:13,163
making ourselves into bait.
675
00:21:13,215 --> 00:21:15,299
And once Figgis is here,
we take him down,
676
00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:17,918
climb out of America's steaming
orifice, and go home.
677
00:21:17,919 --> 00:21:19,637
I like the way you're
thinking, Greg.
678
00:21:19,638 --> 00:21:21,472
It's Holt.
679
00:21:21,473 --> 00:21:23,590
Captain Raymond Holt.
680
00:21:23,625 --> 00:21:24,842
[sighs]
681
00:21:24,843 --> 00:21:27,490
Now come and get us, Figgis.
682
00:21:27,491 --> 00:21:31,629
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/