1
00:00:00,995 --> 00:00:03,362
Gather around,
glorious turd monsters,
2
00:00:03,397 --> 00:00:06,566
and feast your eyes on
what I hold in this hand:
3
00:00:06,567 --> 00:00:08,768
the future of movement...
a hoverboard.
4
00:00:08,769 --> 00:00:10,103
I don't understand those things.
5
00:00:10,104 --> 00:00:11,971
Is walking really
so hard for you?
6
00:00:12,006 --> 00:00:14,273
Oh, Ames, walking's a nightmare.
7
00:00:14,308 --> 00:00:15,308
Yeah, Amy.
8
00:00:15,309 --> 00:00:19,512
Now, friends, eat
my space dust.
9
00:00:21,649 --> 00:00:25,151
Okay, a little harder to control
than I thought.
10
00:00:25,152 --> 00:00:26,853
Okay, there we go.
Whoo!
11
00:00:26,854 --> 00:00:28,154
Think I'm getting
the hang of it.
12
00:00:28,155 --> 00:00:29,855
No, I'm not!
13
00:00:32,393 --> 00:00:34,493
I'm all right.
14
00:00:36,897 --> 00:00:38,531
No!
15
00:00:38,532 --> 00:00:39,531
Ow!
16
00:00:39,533 --> 00:00:41,534
I'm doing it!
17
00:00:41,535 --> 00:00:43,036
I'm doing it!
18
00:00:43,037 --> 00:00:44,037
You got this?
19
00:00:44,038 --> 00:00:45,338
No, I do not got this, Terry!
20
00:00:45,339 --> 00:00:46,740
Don't let go of me!
21
00:00:46,741 --> 00:00:48,842
The future of movement is now!
22
00:00:48,843 --> 00:00:49,968
Whoa!
23
00:00:49,969 --> 00:00:53,571
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
24
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:13,666
There he is.
25
00:01:13,667 --> 00:01:15,946
All hail the birthday boy.
26
00:01:17,238 --> 00:01:18,538
Oh, what the hell was that?
27
00:01:18,539 --> 00:01:19,939
Charles, probably shouldn't
have done that
28
00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:21,141
in a police station.
29
00:01:21,142 --> 00:01:22,675
And not celebrate
your birthday properly?
30
00:01:22,676 --> 00:01:23,709
I'd rather get shot.
31
00:01:23,744 --> 00:01:24,878
You do you, Boyle.
32
00:01:24,879 --> 00:01:26,045
I'm doing me.
33
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,080
What's this case?
34
00:01:27,081 --> 00:01:28,615
Oh, this isn't work.
35
00:01:28,616 --> 00:01:30,884
It's research on your mom
since we're finally meeting.
36
00:01:30,885 --> 00:01:32,318
It's very thorough.
37
00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:34,187
Just relax.
She's gonna love you.
38
00:01:34,188 --> 00:01:35,789
You're both strong,
accomplished women
39
00:01:35,790 --> 00:01:37,157
that have seen me naked.
40
00:01:37,158 --> 00:01:39,259
I used to be so good
at meeting grownups.
41
00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:41,528
I'd just sing
"Itsy Bitsy Spider" flawlessly
42
00:01:41,529 --> 00:01:43,930
and ride that wave
till bath time.
43
00:01:43,931 --> 00:01:46,398
But now...
it's anybody's guess.
44
00:01:46,434 --> 00:01:48,768
All right, what I am about
to say will make you very horny,
45
00:01:48,769 --> 00:01:51,538
but you have to try and remember
that we're still at work.
46
00:01:51,539 --> 00:01:52,939
Do you want me to quiz you?
47
00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:54,339
Oh, God, yes.
48
00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:56,076
Wow.
Okay, great.
49
00:01:56,077 --> 00:01:57,776
What is my mother's favorite
drink?
50
00:01:57,812 --> 00:01:58,911
Red wine over ice.
51
00:01:58,946 --> 00:02:01,181
Just like Diane Keaton,
or so she always says.
52
00:02:01,182 --> 00:02:02,614
Favorite topics of conversation?
53
00:02:02,650 --> 00:02:04,017
Jimmy Carter was underrated,
54
00:02:04,018 --> 00:02:05,985
how beautiful
some front doors are.
55
00:02:05,986 --> 00:02:07,320
What's Jane Seymour up to?
56
00:02:07,321 --> 00:02:08,721
And how cool is it
57
00:02:08,722 --> 00:02:10,356
that the ladies across
the street are lesbians?
58
00:02:10,357 --> 00:02:11,658
Great.
Nice work.
59
00:02:11,659 --> 00:02:14,260
how my dad
left us and ruined our lives,
60
00:02:14,261 --> 00:02:16,396
how my dad got remarried twice
and ruined our lives,
61
00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:17,664
how my dad moved to Canada
62
00:02:17,665 --> 00:02:18,964
- and ruined our lives.
- You know what?
63
00:02:18,999 --> 00:02:20,879
I'm just gonna steer clear
of your dad entirely.
64
00:02:20,901 --> 00:02:21,901
Smart.
65
00:02:21,902 --> 00:02:23,236
You're gonna be fine, all right?
66
00:02:23,237 --> 00:02:26,106
She's gonna totally love you.
67
00:02:26,107 --> 00:02:27,941
Are those her dental records?
68
00:02:27,942 --> 00:02:30,143
Gina, are you excited for our
69
00:02:30,144 --> 00:02:32,378
"Escape the Room"
team-building exercise?
70
00:02:32,379 --> 00:02:34,581
I told you, sir,
it would be far more effective
71
00:02:34,582 --> 00:02:37,517
for the squad to go to Vegas,
and you give us each $5,000.
72
00:02:37,518 --> 00:02:39,119
No, I see no value in that.
73
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,287
But nine coworkers forced to
riddle their way free
74
00:02:41,288 --> 00:02:42,622
from a locked room...
75
00:02:42,623 --> 00:02:46,826
I would spend my $5,000 to buy
backstage passes to Britney,
76
00:02:46,827 --> 00:02:49,496
and then I'd ask her
one question:
77
00:02:49,497 --> 00:02:51,296
You think you're a better
dancer than me?
78
00:02:51,332 --> 00:02:52,899
We are not going to Las Vegas.
79
00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:55,702
We're going to Long Island City
and we will bond meaningfully,
80
00:02:55,703 --> 00:02:57,103
and that is a direct order.
81
00:02:57,104 --> 00:02:58,538
I'll see you at 8:00 tonight.
82
00:02:58,539 --> 00:02:59,873
Tonight?
83
00:02:59,874 --> 00:03:01,141
Um...
84
00:03:01,142 --> 00:03:02,808
Okay, great.
85
00:03:02,843 --> 00:03:04,310
Jake!
Jakester!
86
00:03:04,311 --> 00:03:05,845
Remember when I did not
email you about
87
00:03:05,846 --> 00:03:07,680
Captain Holt's "Escape the Room"
thing tonight?
88
00:03:07,681 --> 00:03:09,182
No, and I can't go.
89
00:03:09,183 --> 00:03:11,351
Amy and I are going to
my mom's house for my birthday.
90
00:03:11,352 --> 00:03:13,485
Adults don't care about
their birthdays.
91
00:03:13,521 --> 00:03:15,087
You came to work last year
on a horse.
92
00:03:15,122 --> 00:03:16,922
Man, forget you.
Where's Charles?
93
00:03:16,957 --> 00:03:18,390
On a stakeout
with Rosa and Terry.
94
00:03:18,425 --> 00:03:19,459
Police work?
95
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,326
What a waste of time.
96
00:03:21,362 --> 00:03:25,031
So no Jake, no Amy, no Charles,
no Rosa, no Terry.
97
00:03:25,032 --> 00:03:26,666
That leaves me with...
98
00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,401
Aah.
Ooh!
99
00:03:28,402 --> 00:03:30,370
- Aah.
- Aah.
100
00:03:30,371 --> 00:03:32,204
Oh, dear God.
101
00:03:32,239 --> 00:03:35,707
Okay, this is the block
our boy Tommy Tran does his drops.
102
00:03:35,743 --> 00:03:39,312
Before we do anything else,
are your body cams turned on?
103
00:03:39,313 --> 00:03:41,114
Why are you so obsessed
with these things?
104
00:03:41,115 --> 00:03:43,015
It's like your stupid babies
all over again.
105
00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:44,817
My babies are not stupid.
106
00:03:44,818 --> 00:03:46,753
Cagney can write a lowercase L.
107
00:03:46,754 --> 00:03:48,020
It's just a line, right?
108
00:03:49,557 --> 00:03:52,758
Look, I worked hard to get us
included in that pilot program.
109
00:03:52,793 --> 00:03:54,394
Body cams are important,
110
00:03:54,395 --> 00:03:56,563
and I need these field tests
to go well.
111
00:03:56,564 --> 00:03:58,731
I'm gonna go take my position.
112
00:03:58,732 --> 00:04:00,866
"Just a straight line." Come on!
113
00:04:00,901 --> 00:04:03,168
Unique New York.
Unique New York.
114
00:04:03,204 --> 00:04:05,071
Unique New York.
115
00:04:05,072 --> 00:04:07,367
I took a Toastmasters class
to prepare for tonight.
116
00:04:07,374 --> 00:04:08,675
Seriously, it's gonna be fine.
117
00:04:08,676 --> 00:04:10,243
We're just gonna have
some dinner, eat dessert,
118
00:04:10,244 --> 00:04:11,744
play charades,
and then talk for half an hour
119
00:04:11,745 --> 00:04:13,145
about which of her friends
are sick.
120
00:04:13,147 --> 00:04:14,447
We're gonna play charades?
121
00:04:14,448 --> 00:04:16,783
You wait until t-minus
two seconds to tell me that?
122
00:04:16,784 --> 00:04:18,518
Okay.
Movie. Book.
123
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:20,786
What's the thing for song?
I don't know the thing for song.
124
00:04:21,822 --> 00:04:24,023
Hi, birthday boy.
125
00:04:24,024 --> 00:04:25,057
Hi.
126
00:04:25,092 --> 00:04:26,525
Mom, is something on fire?
127
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,627
- Yeah.
- Okay.
128
00:04:28,662 --> 00:04:31,931
You must be Amy.
129
00:04:31,932 --> 00:04:33,266
Let me take you in.
130
00:04:33,267 --> 00:04:35,401
Okay.
131
00:04:35,402 --> 00:04:38,303
I'll just take in this gorgeous
front door of yours.
132
00:04:38,339 --> 00:04:40,405
- Mom, seriously, the fire?
- It's fine.
133
00:04:40,441 --> 00:04:41,941
Things don't burn down
like they used to.
134
00:04:41,942 --> 00:04:43,942
I'm just gonna put it out.
135
00:04:43,978 --> 00:04:46,679
Well, you know, it's good
enough for Diane Keaton.
136
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:47,947
It's good enough for me.
137
00:04:47,948 --> 00:04:49,015
I love her.
138
00:04:49,016 --> 00:04:51,551
I mean, she's no Jane Seymour.
139
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:53,553
Where is Jane Seymour
now, anyway?
140
00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:56,055
She makes jewelry,
and it's beautiful.
141
00:04:56,056 --> 00:04:59,125
I just bought two brooches for
the lesbians across the street.
142
00:04:59,126 --> 00:05:00,260
Mom, I keep telling you,
143
00:05:00,261 --> 00:05:01,694
if you don't rein it in
a little bit,
144
00:05:01,695 --> 00:05:02,961
you're gonna scare them off.
145
00:05:02,997 --> 00:05:06,065
Well, that's what you said
about Carla, and I ignored it,
146
00:05:06,066 --> 00:05:07,899
and now I have a friend
with one arm.
147
00:05:07,935 --> 00:05:09,501
I stand corrected.
148
00:05:09,536 --> 00:05:11,904
Oh, must be
your birthday surprise.
149
00:05:11,905 --> 00:05:13,339
You got the '86 Mets?
150
00:05:13,340 --> 00:05:15,708
Be warned, a lot of them
turned out to be drug addicts,
151
00:05:15,709 --> 00:05:17,509
so this could be a bummer.
152
00:05:17,544 --> 00:05:18,543
You ready?
153
00:05:20,781 --> 00:05:22,347
Hey, buddy.
154
00:05:22,383 --> 00:05:24,617
Happy birthday.
155
00:05:24,618 --> 00:05:26,885
Dad?
What are you doing here?
156
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,322
I wanted to surprise you.
157
00:05:29,323 --> 00:05:33,192
Yeah, well I am surprised
that you know it's my birthday.
158
00:05:33,193 --> 00:05:35,928
Actually, Jake...
159
00:05:35,929 --> 00:05:37,964
your father and I are, uh,
160
00:05:37,965 --> 00:05:39,765
seeing each other again.
161
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,567
Oh!
162
00:05:41,568 --> 00:05:44,804
Wow, that's...
that's so interesting.
163
00:05:45,906 --> 00:05:47,506
Oh...
164
00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:51,791
I know this isn't the best time,
165
00:05:51,792 --> 00:05:53,623
but we are in
your childhood bedroom,
166
00:05:53,624 --> 00:05:55,758
and I do have one question:
167
00:05:55,759 --> 00:05:57,894
did you have a nose ring
in high school?
168
00:05:57,895 --> 00:06:00,630
Yes. Until it got infected
and I almost went blind.
169
00:06:00,631 --> 00:06:01,630
Don't tell anyone.
170
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:04,400
Cool. It's our secret.
171
00:06:04,401 --> 00:06:07,203
Just gonna check my email
up high.
172
00:06:07,204 --> 00:06:08,871
No new messages.
173
00:06:08,872 --> 00:06:10,606
Amy, can we focus?
174
00:06:10,607 --> 00:06:12,975
What is going on here?
Why is my dad dating my mom?
175
00:06:12,976 --> 00:06:14,143
What does he want?
176
00:06:14,144 --> 00:06:16,579
Money, but she's a public school
art teacher.
177
00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:18,514
That doesn't make any sense.
178
00:06:18,515 --> 00:06:20,716
Maybe that son of a bitch
wants his picture drawn!
179
00:06:20,717 --> 00:06:22,785
Jake, Karen is a grown woman
180
00:06:22,786 --> 00:06:24,754
with a pretty respectable
credit score.
181
00:06:24,755 --> 00:06:26,189
I'm sure she knows
what she's doing.
182
00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:27,490
Amy, I know that you
have a binder,
183
00:06:27,491 --> 00:06:28,658
but you don't know her
like I do.
184
00:06:28,659 --> 00:06:30,526
She's too trusting
for her own good.
185
00:06:30,527 --> 00:06:32,694
She's fallen for more
Nigerian scams than Scully.
186
00:06:32,729 --> 00:06:35,030
She's fallen
for 20 Nigerian scams?
187
00:06:35,065 --> 00:06:36,332
20?
188
00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:37,867
That's insane.
189
00:06:37,868 --> 00:06:40,336
No, she's fallen for 2.
Scully's fallen for 20?
190
00:06:40,337 --> 00:06:41,337
Yeah.
191
00:06:41,338 --> 00:06:42,772
Look, all right, you know what?
192
00:06:42,773 --> 00:06:44,073
This is fine.
193
00:06:44,074 --> 00:06:45,675
It's just the same
that it's always been.
194
00:06:45,676 --> 00:06:47,043
I have to protect her.
195
00:06:47,044 --> 00:06:48,311
I'm gonna go down there,
196
00:06:48,312 --> 00:06:50,179
and I'm going to express
my concerns to her
197
00:06:50,180 --> 00:06:52,248
in a calm, rational manner.
198
00:06:52,249 --> 00:06:53,983
What are you doing, Mom?
199
00:06:53,984 --> 00:06:55,417
He's evil!
200
00:06:55,452 --> 00:06:58,320
I'm glad
we got these sweet cams.
201
00:06:58,355 --> 00:06:59,487
What is happening
with your voice?
202
00:06:59,523 --> 00:07:01,324
This is Body Cam Charles.
203
00:07:01,325 --> 00:07:02,859
I got to sound badass
204
00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:05,261
in case anybody watches
the footage, capisce?
205
00:07:05,262 --> 00:07:06,294
Aah!
206
00:07:06,330 --> 00:07:08,697
Oh, I just spilled soup
on the cam!
207
00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:10,465
Why do you have soup
on a stakeout?
208
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:12,335
Oh, no.
Crap!
209
00:07:12,336 --> 00:07:13,836
Oh, it's not turning back on.
210
00:07:13,837 --> 00:07:15,137
Do you think Sarge
is gonna be mad
211
00:07:15,138 --> 00:07:16,805
that I spilled "fuh" on the cam?
212
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:18,174
He definitely will
if you say pho like that
213
00:07:18,175 --> 00:07:19,241
when you tell him.
214
00:07:19,276 --> 00:07:20,443
I'm not gonna mispronounce it.
215
00:07:20,444 --> 00:07:21,543
Not while you're rolling.
216
00:07:21,578 --> 00:07:22,744
Go get yourself cleaned up!
217
00:07:25,182 --> 00:07:26,581
- See anything, Sarge?
- Not yet.
218
00:07:26,617 --> 00:07:28,117
Don't know why
I didn't go undercover
219
00:07:28,118 --> 00:07:29,585
as someone wearing a scarf.
220
00:07:29,586 --> 00:07:31,888
Terry hates windchill.
221
00:07:31,889 --> 00:07:33,488
Wait, here's our guy.
222
00:07:33,523 --> 00:07:35,056
Got him.
223
00:07:35,092 --> 00:07:38,127
Crap!
I think he made me.
224
00:07:38,128 --> 00:07:39,762
He's headed toward
the restaurant!
225
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,464
You follow.
I'll cover the back alley!
226
00:07:49,056 --> 00:07:50,372
Someone's in here!
227
00:07:53,043 --> 00:07:54,377
Uhh!
228
00:07:54,378 --> 00:07:55,678
Ah!
229
00:07:55,679 --> 00:07:57,679
- Rosa?
- Charles.
230
00:07:58,916 --> 00:08:00,715
You're completely naked.
231
00:08:02,986 --> 00:08:04,586
You have the right
to remain silent.
232
00:08:04,621 --> 00:08:06,221
You have the right
to an attorney.
233
00:08:08,859 --> 00:08:10,525
Where is everyone, Gina?
234
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:12,862
Perhaps that's
tonight's first puzzle.
235
00:08:12,863 --> 00:08:14,663
I forgot to send
the invitations.
236
00:08:14,698 --> 00:08:16,899
But I was able to rally
the best and brightest
237
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:18,366
of those available.
238
00:08:20,037 --> 00:08:21,036
Oh, dear God.
239
00:08:21,038 --> 00:08:22,238
Sorry we're late.
240
00:08:22,239 --> 00:08:23,973
Turns out the front door
was a push, not a pull.
241
00:08:23,974 --> 00:08:25,273
Well, maybe we should
just reschedule.
242
00:08:28,111 --> 00:08:30,546
You have three hours
to find the four keys
243
00:08:30,547 --> 00:08:32,181
that will prevent the apocalypse
244
00:08:32,182 --> 00:08:33,581
and release you from this room.
245
00:08:33,617 --> 00:08:35,651
Your time starts now.
246
00:08:35,652 --> 00:08:37,919
Well, this is
a sobering reality.
247
00:08:39,456 --> 00:08:42,224
Okay, I got your favorite cake:
248
00:08:42,225 --> 00:08:44,593
- blue.
- I'm not hungry.
249
00:08:44,594 --> 00:08:47,196
It's a figure of speech.
Obviously, I'll have some.
250
00:08:47,197 --> 00:08:49,532
You know,
I don't think our guest Amy
251
00:08:49,533 --> 00:08:52,001
really wants to
talk about this, Jake.
252
00:08:52,002 --> 00:08:53,568
Can we just move on?
253
00:08:53,603 --> 00:08:55,304
Yes.
Maybe we could talk about
254
00:08:55,305 --> 00:08:58,507
President Jimmy Carter.
255
00:08:58,508 --> 00:09:00,109
When I think of the great...
256
00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:02,478
So how serious is it, Hmm?
257
00:09:02,479 --> 00:09:03,545
Have you guys kissed?
258
00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:04,880
Has he stayed the night?
259
00:09:04,881 --> 00:09:07,116
Has he brought you a chocolate
orange from the airport?
260
00:09:07,117 --> 00:09:08,583
'Cause that's his big move.
261
00:09:08,618 --> 00:09:10,319
Jake, your mother
and I have been seeing each other
262
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:11,319
for three months.
263
00:09:11,321 --> 00:09:12,321
Oh, you know what?
264
00:09:12,322 --> 00:09:14,122
I oughta throw up in your face.
265
00:09:14,157 --> 00:09:18,693
I know that you're angry,
but when I was here last year,
266
00:09:18,729 --> 00:09:21,464
you really showed me
what a selfish jerk I was.
267
00:09:21,465 --> 00:09:24,332
You're the reason
that all of this is happening.
268
00:09:24,368 --> 00:09:26,068
Yeah, but I didn't want this.
269
00:09:26,069 --> 00:09:29,404
I just wanted you to text me
Mb dad joke every six months.
270
00:09:29,439 --> 00:09:30,805
I can do that.
Just give me your number.
271
00:09:30,841 --> 00:09:32,375
You didn't save my number?
272
00:09:32,376 --> 00:09:33,842
Now, Jake, look.
273
00:09:33,877 --> 00:09:36,145
I know every mistake
your father has made,
274
00:09:36,146 --> 00:09:38,881
and he says
they're all in the past.
275
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:41,367
Now just blow out your candles.
276
00:09:42,219 --> 00:09:43,219
Okay, great.
277
00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:44,320
Great idea, Mom.
278
00:09:44,321 --> 00:09:47,189
I'll blow out
my birthday candles.
279
00:09:51,495 --> 00:09:54,363
I wished that you would leave.
280
00:09:54,364 --> 00:09:55,898
Damn it, I shouldn't have
said it out loud.
281
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:56,898
Now it won't come true.
282
00:09:56,900 --> 00:10:01,237
Okay, we have maps,
a pantry, beds, a desk.
283
00:10:01,238 --> 00:10:02,538
Where should we begin?
284
00:10:02,539 --> 00:10:04,140
Do you have any experience
with puzzles?
285
00:10:04,141 --> 00:10:05,141
Yes.
286
00:10:05,142 --> 00:10:06,341
I've never solved one.
287
00:10:06,376 --> 00:10:08,711
This says we have
three questions.
288
00:10:08,712 --> 00:10:10,045
- No.
- Uh-oh.
289
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,680
- How do we get outta here?
- Can't tell you.
290
00:10:11,681 --> 00:10:12,681
- Really?
- Yes.
291
00:10:12,682 --> 00:10:14,817
That's enough!
292
00:10:14,818 --> 00:10:16,085
Sorry about that.
293
00:10:16,086 --> 00:10:17,620
Can we please have
our questions back?
294
00:10:17,621 --> 00:10:18,621
No.
295
00:10:18,622 --> 00:10:19,688
And that's three.
296
00:10:19,689 --> 00:10:21,257
You're done.
297
00:10:21,258 --> 00:10:24,125
Oh, Captain, how could you?
298
00:10:25,228 --> 00:10:26,796
Hey.
299
00:10:26,797 --> 00:10:28,364
You didn't come back down.
300
00:10:28,365 --> 00:10:30,633
I had to talk to your parents
for, like, an hour,
301
00:10:30,634 --> 00:10:32,435
and I ran out of stuff
from the binder,
302
00:10:32,436 --> 00:10:34,770
and then I did something
really weird.
303
00:10:34,771 --> 00:10:38,974
The itsy-bitsy spider
went up the water spout
304
00:10:38,975 --> 00:10:40,342
Down came...
305
00:10:40,343 --> 00:10:43,678
So... do you know where
the nearest train station is?
306
00:10:43,713 --> 00:10:47,249
I know it sucks that I did that,
but think about how I feel.
307
00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:49,485
My stupid parents
are borking each other.
308
00:10:49,486 --> 00:10:51,487
And my mom thinks she knows
all the worst things
309
00:10:51,488 --> 00:10:53,422
that my dad did,
but she has no idea.
310
00:10:53,423 --> 00:10:55,157
She doesn't even know
that he cheated on her
311
00:10:55,158 --> 00:10:57,358
with her best friend,
Sheila Bodden.
312
00:10:57,394 --> 00:10:58,394
Oh, my God.
313
00:10:58,395 --> 00:10:59,562
Yeah, I saw them.
314
00:10:59,563 --> 00:11:02,665
They were in our car
in the garage having sex.
315
00:11:02,666 --> 00:11:05,433
It's the whole reason I can't
have sex in cars in garages.
316
00:11:05,469 --> 00:11:07,670
That's a very specific
sexual hang-up.
317
00:11:07,671 --> 00:11:09,904
I mean, has it really
held you back?
318
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:12,708
Well, are we having sex
in car in a garage right now?
319
00:11:12,709 --> 00:11:14,777
No. So, yeah, big time
it's held me back.
320
00:11:14,778 --> 00:11:16,112
I never told her about it
321
00:11:16,113 --> 00:11:18,881
'cause I didn't want
to crush her heart, but...
322
00:11:18,882 --> 00:11:20,716
now I have to use it.
323
00:11:20,717 --> 00:11:23,152
I'm gonna tell my dad if
he doesn't do the decent thing
324
00:11:23,153 --> 00:11:25,554
and leave my mom again...
325
00:11:25,555 --> 00:11:27,957
I'm dropping the Sheila bomb.
326
00:11:27,958 --> 00:11:29,925
Whoa.
327
00:11:29,926 --> 00:11:33,028
I know this is a really
big deal, but I have to ask.
328
00:11:33,029 --> 00:11:34,929
Did you wear this hat
in high school?
329
00:11:34,965 --> 00:11:36,030
Amy!
330
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,821
There's only one way I'm gonna
get my dad alone.
331
00:11:38,822 --> 00:11:40,117
You have to tell my mom
that you need to
332
00:11:40,118 --> 00:11:41,924
- speak with her in private.
- About what?
333
00:11:41,925 --> 00:11:43,070
I barely know her.
334
00:11:43,071 --> 00:11:46,006
Tell her you're plugged up
and you need a laxative.
335
00:11:46,041 --> 00:11:47,041
What? No!
336
00:11:47,042 --> 00:11:48,342
What?
I'm not gonna say that.
337
00:11:48,377 --> 00:11:49,377
Okay, here's the plan:
338
00:11:49,378 --> 00:11:51,212
I drop the bomb during charades.
339
00:11:51,213 --> 00:11:54,616
I'll just tell him I know
about Sheila... with my body.
340
00:11:54,617 --> 00:11:57,085
Um...
341
00:11:57,086 --> 00:11:59,420
Fast, uh, fast...
"Fast and Furious"?
342
00:11:59,421 --> 00:12:02,056
"Magic Mike"?
343
00:12:02,057 --> 00:12:03,491
I don't know...
344
00:12:03,492 --> 00:12:04,859
Uh, "Crying Game"?
345
00:12:04,860 --> 00:12:06,360
- I don't know.
- Time.
346
00:12:06,395 --> 00:12:07,394
Ah!
347
00:12:10,332 --> 00:12:11,332
Oh.
348
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:12,433
- I... I didn't...
- No, no, no.
349
00:12:12,434 --> 00:12:13,767
It's fine.
I... it's... I'm...
350
00:12:13,802 --> 00:12:15,536
Um, right, why would you be?
351
00:12:15,537 --> 00:12:17,405
Yeah, it's not like
I'm always, uh...
352
00:12:17,406 --> 00:12:18,406
Naked.
353
00:12:18,407 --> 00:12:19,941
Yeah.
354
00:12:19,942 --> 00:12:22,376
Look, man, no one's ever gonna
see that footage.
355
00:12:22,411 --> 00:12:23,845
The case was cut and dry.
356
00:12:23,846 --> 00:12:25,712
It's not like I'm dying
to tell anyone I saw your...
357
00:12:25,748 --> 00:12:26,748
Bennie and the Jets.
358
00:12:26,749 --> 00:12:27,815
Sure.
359
00:12:27,816 --> 00:12:28,950
Whatever.
360
00:12:28,951 --> 00:12:30,717
Hey, I've been looking
for you guys.
361
00:12:30,753 --> 00:12:32,453
I just talked
to our perp's attorney.
362
00:12:32,454 --> 00:12:34,789
He's claiming the drugs
you seized in the bathroom
363
00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:36,457
- weren't his.
- What?
364
00:12:36,458 --> 00:12:38,459
But we saw him throw them
in the garbage.
365
00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:39,594
Yeah.
366
00:12:39,595 --> 00:12:41,562
Normally, it'd be your word
against his,
367
00:12:41,563 --> 00:12:44,464
but lucky for us,
you were wearing body cams!
368
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:46,501
Yeah, but the thing
about cameras
369
00:12:46,502 --> 00:12:49,604
is that they don't really
tell the full objective truth.
370
00:12:49,605 --> 00:12:52,407
Images can be distorted.
People often seem naked.
371
00:12:52,408 --> 00:12:54,041
Boyle, what are you
talking about?
372
00:12:54,076 --> 00:12:55,943
Boyle is fully nude
in the footage.
373
00:12:55,944 --> 00:12:57,544
Why?
374
00:12:58,881 --> 00:12:59,914
The whole thing?
375
00:12:59,915 --> 00:13:01,182
No, no, no.
376
00:13:01,183 --> 00:13:02,183
Not the whole thing.
Okay.
377
00:13:03,285 --> 00:13:04,552
It doesn't matter
how much humping I do.
378
00:13:04,553 --> 00:13:05,853
He's still not getting it.
379
00:13:05,854 --> 00:13:07,355
Okay.
380
00:13:07,356 --> 00:13:08,756
Well...
381
00:13:08,757 --> 00:13:10,757
then this is happening.
382
00:13:12,961 --> 00:13:14,896
Hey, Karen, can I talk to you
for a second in private?
383
00:13:14,897 --> 00:13:16,798
I'm a little plugged up.
384
00:13:16,799 --> 00:13:19,367
Oh, well, say no more.
385
00:13:19,368 --> 00:13:22,470
I have an entire cabinet
devoted just to that.
386
00:13:22,471 --> 00:13:24,404
Wow.
TMI, you guys.
387
00:13:25,441 --> 00:13:27,275
Thank you.
388
00:13:27,276 --> 00:13:29,777
Oh, man, this is so much fun.
389
00:13:29,778 --> 00:13:32,814
Thanks for giving me
a second chance, buddy.
390
00:13:32,815 --> 00:13:34,182
Second chance?
391
00:13:34,183 --> 00:13:35,450
Are you seriously not getting
392
00:13:35,451 --> 00:13:37,318
what I'm charades-ing down
at you?
393
00:13:37,319 --> 00:13:39,020
That was you and Sheila Bodden
394
00:13:39,021 --> 00:13:40,722
humping it up
in the back of our car.
395
00:13:40,723 --> 00:13:41,723
What?
I...
396
00:13:41,724 --> 00:13:43,191
Yeah, that's right.
I saw you.
397
00:13:43,192 --> 00:13:44,592
I saw your weird dad butt,
398
00:13:44,593 --> 00:13:47,428
and I saw her aquamarine leotard
bunched up around her ankles!
399
00:13:47,429 --> 00:13:48,663
It scarred me for life.
400
00:13:48,664 --> 00:13:50,164
I'm sorry.
I... I didn't know you saw that.
401
00:13:50,165 --> 00:13:52,567
Yeah, well, I did,
and I never told Mom about it,
402
00:13:52,568 --> 00:13:55,336
but I swear to you, I will
unless you leave right now.
403
00:13:55,337 --> 00:13:57,538
Should be easy for you since
it's your favorite thing to do
404
00:13:57,539 --> 00:13:59,774
aside from humping it up
with ladies.
405
00:13:59,775 --> 00:14:02,877
You think I'm way more
sexually active than I am.
406
00:14:02,878 --> 00:14:05,278
I mean, I've only had sex
with, like, 400 women.
407
00:14:05,314 --> 00:14:06,314
What?
408
00:14:06,315 --> 00:14:07,482
400?
Oh, my God.
409
00:14:07,483 --> 00:14:08,516
Is that a lot?
410
00:14:08,517 --> 00:14:10,251
I mean, all my friends
are pilots.
411
00:14:10,252 --> 00:14:12,119
I'm on the low end of average.
412
00:14:12,154 --> 00:14:13,220
Listen.
413
00:14:13,255 --> 00:14:15,089
I don't want
to hurt your mother.
414
00:14:15,090 --> 00:14:18,626
Please... don't tell her
about Sheila.
415
00:14:18,627 --> 00:14:23,764
Fine, I won't, provided
you leave right now.
416
00:14:23,799 --> 00:14:26,900
Your move, white devil.
417
00:14:26,935 --> 00:14:32,572
So if I'm correct, this should
contain... key number one!
418
00:14:32,608 --> 00:14:34,408
Yay.
Open the door.
419
00:14:34,443 --> 00:14:35,843
Oh, we need to find four keys.
420
00:14:35,844 --> 00:14:37,512
And it took half our time
just to find this one
421
00:14:37,513 --> 00:14:39,514
because I had to do it
completely alone.
422
00:14:39,515 --> 00:14:40,681
You're all useless.
423
00:14:40,682 --> 00:14:43,951
Sorry. I've been a little busy
trying to solve the puzzle
424
00:14:43,952 --> 00:14:48,222
of how does one man chew so
loud with just one mouth?
425
00:14:48,223 --> 00:14:49,223
Sorry.
426
00:14:49,224 --> 00:14:50,425
Could you stop kicking
that thing
427
00:14:50,426 --> 00:14:51,426
for one minute, Hitchcock?
428
00:14:51,427 --> 00:14:52,660
The TV's being a dick.
429
00:14:52,661 --> 00:14:54,061
You got to turn it,
like, four times
430
00:14:54,062 --> 00:14:55,514
just to change the damn channel.
431
00:14:55,531 --> 00:14:56,931
Four times?
432
00:14:59,868 --> 00:15:01,736
Try turning it to...
433
00:15:01,737 --> 00:15:04,138
22, 18, 81, 17.
434
00:15:04,139 --> 00:15:06,007
The coordinates
for the Bay of Pigs.
435
00:15:08,744 --> 00:15:10,111
And the military...
436
00:15:10,112 --> 00:15:11,245
Nice job.
437
00:15:11,246 --> 00:15:12,380
You broke the TV.
438
00:15:12,381 --> 00:15:15,282
No, I found another key,
you dolt.
439
00:15:15,317 --> 00:15:17,485
So one was in a knight,
440
00:15:17,486 --> 00:15:21,255
the basketball teams were
the Mustangs and Stallions.
441
00:15:21,256 --> 00:15:22,824
We only need two more keys.
442
00:15:22,825 --> 00:15:24,324
This just might work out
after all.
443
00:15:24,359 --> 00:15:25,526
You're damn right it will,
444
00:15:25,527 --> 00:15:28,028
'cause we're a ragtag,
scrappity,
445
00:15:28,063 --> 00:15:31,665
fart-dumb, moron parade,
smart-ass team!
446
00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:34,936
Okay, we're all good.
447
00:15:34,937 --> 00:15:37,138
Raw garlic.
Cures everything.
448
00:15:37,139 --> 00:15:39,507
It sure does,
and it's so delicious.
449
00:15:39,508 --> 00:15:41,142
Uh...
450
00:15:41,143 --> 00:15:42,677
Where's your father?
451
00:15:42,678 --> 00:15:44,479
Oh, Roger, you mean?
452
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,280
He left very suddenly.
453
00:15:46,281 --> 00:15:49,416
Said something about
"being the worst."
454
00:15:49,451 --> 00:15:50,918
- What did you say to him, Jake?
- What?
455
00:15:50,919 --> 00:15:52,286
Why do you assume
that I said something?
456
00:15:52,287 --> 00:15:54,255
He's a leaving jerk,
so he left like a jerk.
457
00:15:54,256 --> 00:15:55,423
This is what he does.
458
00:15:55,424 --> 00:15:57,123
- He's not a monster.
- Yeah, well,
459
00:15:57,159 --> 00:15:58,725
you wouldn't say
that if you knew
460
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,061
- everything that he's done.
- What did he do, Jake?
461
00:16:00,062 --> 00:16:01,596
Nothing.
You know, just, like
462
00:16:01,597 --> 00:16:03,764
super-awful
life-changing things.
463
00:16:03,765 --> 00:16:05,232
No follow-up questions.
464
00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:07,134
Is it worse than the time
he cheated on me
465
00:16:07,135 --> 00:16:09,212
with Sheila Bodden?
466
00:16:09,213 --> 00:16:10,213
Ah.
467
00:16:10,214 --> 00:16:11,213
You knew about that?
468
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,273
Yeah.
469
00:16:12,274 --> 00:16:13,615
I knew about that.
470
00:16:16,945 --> 00:16:19,747
The itsy bitsy spider
471
00:16:19,748 --> 00:16:21,823
Went up the water spout
472
00:16:22,402 --> 00:16:24,467
I can't believe
you knew about Sheila.
473
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,971
I also knew about Wendy.
474
00:16:27,972 --> 00:16:29,238
And Bonnie.
475
00:16:29,273 --> 00:16:30,572
Bonnie who wears a wig?
476
00:16:30,608 --> 00:16:32,375
She left it in our bathroom.
477
00:16:32,376 --> 00:16:34,377
That's how I found out.
478
00:16:34,378 --> 00:16:37,380
And also, remember your turtle,
Graham Crackers?
479
00:16:37,381 --> 00:16:38,948
Dad had sex with my turtle?
480
00:16:38,949 --> 00:16:40,250
No, no, no, no, but he...
481
00:16:40,251 --> 00:16:42,085
he stepped on it
getting out of bed.
482
00:16:42,086 --> 00:16:43,353
But you said Graham Crackers
483
00:16:43,354 --> 00:16:45,255
got married
and moved in with his wife.
484
00:16:45,256 --> 00:16:47,624
How did I not know
any of this stuff?
485
00:16:47,625 --> 00:16:49,958
Well, because you were a kid,
486
00:16:49,994 --> 00:16:53,563
and kids don't actually know
a lot about their parents.
487
00:16:53,564 --> 00:16:58,702
Jake, I've dated a lot
of men in the last 20 years.
488
00:16:58,703 --> 00:17:00,603
- You have?
- A lot.
489
00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:02,739
Okay, you don't have to put
so much mustard on it.
490
00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:04,708
And I haven't met anyone I like.
491
00:17:04,709 --> 00:17:06,643
But I like your father.
492
00:17:06,644 --> 00:17:08,912
And I know he has been
a selfish jerk,
493
00:17:08,913 --> 00:17:10,914
but he really has changed.
494
00:17:10,915 --> 00:17:12,949
Last month
when I had bronchitis,
495
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:17,187
he flew in on his day off
just to bring me soup.
496
00:17:17,188 --> 00:17:20,090
It was this weird Canadian soup.
497
00:17:20,091 --> 00:17:22,992
I-I think it was just
all cheese.
498
00:17:22,993 --> 00:17:24,928
But it was really nice.
499
00:17:24,929 --> 00:17:27,030
Man, I feel stupid.
500
00:17:27,031 --> 00:17:28,331
I was just trying
to protect you,
501
00:17:28,332 --> 00:17:30,133
but I clearly
made everything worse.
502
00:17:30,134 --> 00:17:34,170
You have been protecting me
since you were a kid.
503
00:17:34,171 --> 00:17:37,507
Sometimes I think
you got so good at it,
504
00:17:37,508 --> 00:17:40,309
you decided to become a cop
and protect everyone.
505
00:17:40,344 --> 00:17:41,611
Oh, that's a cool thought,
506
00:17:41,612 --> 00:17:44,314
but I became a cop
because of "Die Hard."
507
00:17:44,315 --> 00:17:45,347
I love you.
508
00:17:45,383 --> 00:17:46,850
I love you, too, Mom.
509
00:17:46,851 --> 00:17:48,350
Come here.
510
00:17:51,555 --> 00:17:52,989
You know,
I'm probably remembering
511
00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:55,258
a lot more nakedness
than there actually was.
512
00:17:55,259 --> 00:17:56,459
No, you're not.
513
00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:59,462
Also, no one's gonna see it
on that little TV.
514
00:17:59,463 --> 00:18:00,663
Great news.
515
00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:02,499
We were able to snag
the new flat screen.
516
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,134
4K, baby!
517
00:18:04,135 --> 00:18:08,338
Your honor, Mr. Tran claims
that he had no narcotics on him.
518
00:18:08,339 --> 00:18:11,874
Fortunately, our detectives
were equipped with body cams.
519
00:18:12,977 --> 00:18:14,144
Someone's in here!
520
00:18:18,582 --> 00:18:21,418
I think we all clearly saw
where Mr. Tran threw the drugs
521
00:18:21,419 --> 00:18:23,685
in the trash right before
he was apprehended.
522
00:18:23,721 --> 00:18:24,821
At least it's over now.
523
00:18:24,822 --> 00:18:26,856
Really?
How do we know those were drugs?
524
00:18:26,857 --> 00:18:27,991
Please back that tape up.
525
00:18:27,992 --> 00:18:29,024
No!
Objection!
526
00:18:29,059 --> 00:18:30,058
On what grounds?
527
00:18:30,094 --> 00:18:31,661
That's my penis?
528
00:18:31,662 --> 00:18:33,463
Overruled.
529
00:18:33,464 --> 00:18:36,232
Hey, man, look at
that and tell me what you see.
530
00:18:36,233 --> 00:18:37,700
A naked fool.
531
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:39,903
No. Between the thighs
532
00:18:39,904 --> 00:18:42,905
and under the testicles,
there's a bag of cocaine.
533
00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:45,442
A bag of cocaine that's gonna
get us a conviction
534
00:18:45,443 --> 00:18:47,844
and prove the value
of body cams.
535
00:18:47,845 --> 00:18:50,380
You know what I see?
A naked hero.
536
00:18:50,381 --> 00:18:52,682
You're right, Sarge.
Thank you.
537
00:18:52,683 --> 00:18:54,651
Now let's zoom in.
538
00:18:54,652 --> 00:18:55,921
Whoop! Over-zoomed.
539
00:18:56,921 --> 00:18:58,555
Well, well, well.
540
00:18:58,556 --> 00:19:00,523
Look who's trying to skip town.
541
00:19:00,524 --> 00:19:01,891
You told me to.
542
00:19:01,892 --> 00:19:03,359
Right.
543
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:08,331
Look, I talked to Mom,
and I just want her to be happy.
544
00:19:08,332 --> 00:19:10,533
So can we go back to
my birthday party now?
545
00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:12,501
I'd love that, son.
546
00:19:14,705 --> 00:19:16,206
This is nice.
547
00:19:16,207 --> 00:19:18,374
If you screw this up
and hurt her in any way,
548
00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:20,276
I will throw you in jail
for the rest of your life,
549
00:19:20,277 --> 00:19:23,546
and I can do that now, Dad,
so do not test me.
550
00:19:23,547 --> 00:19:25,826
Okay.
551
00:19:28,118 --> 00:19:29,452
I still liked the hug
552
00:19:29,453 --> 00:19:31,821
even though you used it
to threaten me.
553
00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:33,890
Yeah, well...
554
00:19:33,891 --> 00:19:36,993
I kind of liked
threatening you, so...
555
00:19:36,994 --> 00:19:38,093
Come on.
556
00:19:39,330 --> 00:19:43,066
Okay, so we found key number
three, thanks to Scully.
557
00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:44,934
I was gonna eat
those peaches anyway.
558
00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:46,336
That leaves just one more key.
559
00:19:46,337 --> 00:19:49,239
Team, what in this room
is speaking to you right now?
560
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,441
Um, I'm intrigued by the phone.
561
00:19:51,442 --> 00:19:53,543
It looks like it would be fun
to call a friend on it
562
00:19:53,544 --> 00:19:56,012
it and talk about a third friend
behind their back.
563
00:19:56,013 --> 00:19:57,013
Interesting.
564
00:20:00,484 --> 00:20:01,783
The dial tone's not steady.
565
00:20:01,819 --> 00:20:02,818
I think it's Morse code.
566
00:20:02,820 --> 00:20:04,721
I know Morse code!
567
00:20:04,722 --> 00:20:06,788
My dad was a prisoner of war
in Korea,
568
00:20:06,824 --> 00:20:08,191
and I could only talk to him...
569
00:20:08,192 --> 00:20:09,192
Shut up.
Who cares?
570
00:20:09,193 --> 00:20:10,926
Just decode the message.
571
00:20:12,062 --> 00:20:13,363
It's a phone number.
572
00:20:18,102 --> 00:20:19,102
Oh.
573
00:20:21,639 --> 00:20:23,050
Booyakasha.
574
00:20:23,941 --> 00:20:24,940
Ready?
575
00:20:26,844 --> 00:20:31,614
One, two, three, four.
576
00:20:38,589 --> 00:20:40,155
Congratulations.
We did it.
577
00:20:40,190 --> 00:20:42,524
And we did it together
because we're a team.
578
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,794
Should we do it again
next week, sir?
579
00:20:44,795 --> 00:20:46,361
No.
I would hate that.
580
00:20:48,198 --> 00:20:49,699
Hey, honey.
581
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:51,234
Thanks for bringing Roger back.
582
00:20:51,235 --> 00:20:52,535
You're very welcome.
583
00:20:52,536 --> 00:20:55,538
Hey, by the way, Amy was really
nervous to meet you,
584
00:20:55,539 --> 00:20:57,706
so don't judge her too harshly
for all the weird singing.
585
00:20:57,741 --> 00:20:58,808
Oh, no.
586
00:20:58,809 --> 00:21:00,610
I'm dating my son of a bitch
ex-husband.
587
00:21:00,611 --> 00:21:02,044
Who am I to judge?
588
00:21:03,380 --> 00:21:05,013
I think she's really great.
589
00:21:06,317 --> 00:21:07,782
I think you're really great too!
590
00:21:08,505 --> 00:21:10,597
She's very good at lip reading.
591
00:21:10,598 --> 00:21:11,984
I wouldn't say I'm very good.
592
00:21:11,985 --> 00:21:15,069
I mean, deaf people,
they're the real talents.
593
00:21:15,757 --> 00:21:17,223
Just can't stop.
594
00:21:17,224 --> 00:21:18,134
I'll let you guys talk!
595
00:21:18,135 --> 00:21:19,476
I'll just close my eyes.
596
00:21:21,271 --> 00:21:25,219
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/